#tesena

[vardasvapors]

memory of chemistry class

[lepertamar]

the way teśena frames aer AAC book, aer assistive device, as aer self (with all the weight and significance of what that means in this world and series!) (and nam’ir frames it the same way), both very casually, is just sooooooo……✨✨✨✨

[ivanaskye]

i just saw a post that reminded me: is the writing of tesena based on personal experience or research? (i don’t just mean eg the use of aac, but the general way of being). it’s just an assumption i see a lot among say, reviewers, where authors are praised on their sensitivity and care with their research about a type of person, without considering maybe they didn’t need care and research because they are themself that type of person.

I am autistic but not nonverbal and have never used AAC, so it was fairly ~research and ~imagination based. but there are definitely some 'way of being' aspects I do relate to with Teśena, despite that I am very verbal and unlike aer think almost 100% in words.

[adhocmitteilung]

Tesena Fest Online 2021

New Post has been published on https://www.adhocmitteilung.de/tesena-fest-online-2021/

Tesena Fest Online 2021

Das ATB ist dieses Jahr Partner des Tesena Fest Online 2021. Die kostenlose virtuelle Konferenz bietet Inspiration, Austausch und aktuelle Testing-Trends. Alle weiteren Infos findet Ihr auf der Seite Tesena Fest Online 2021 Der Beitrag Tesena Fest Online 2021 erschien zuerst auf Austrian...

Ganzen Artikel zu Tesena Fest Online 2021 lesen auf https://www.adhocmitteilung.de/tesena-fest-online-2021/

[unternehmensmeldungen-com]

Tesena Fest Online 2021

New Post has been published on https://www.unternehmensmeldungen.com/tesena-fest-online-2021/

Tesena Fest Online 2021

Das ATB ist dieses Jahr Partner des Tesena Fest Online 2021. Die kostenlose virtuelle Konferenz bietet Inspiration, Austausch und aktuelle Testing-Trends. Alle weiteren Infos findet Ihr auf der Seite Tesena Fest Online 2021 Der Beitrag Tesena Fest Online 2021 erschien zuerst auf Austrian...

Ganzen Artikel zu Tesena Fest Online 2021 lesen auf https://www.unternehmensmeldungen.com/tesena-fest-online-2021/ Mehr Wirtschaftsnachrichten und Unternehmensmeldungen unter https://www.unternehmensmeldungen.com

[howtofindthemoney]

Tesena Inovindo

[lepertamar]

probably deliberate choice given the nonverbalness theme and the like referring back to tamar but feels a bit like missed opportunity for even more active(?) deliberate (?) Knowing and also the communication/language theme if the tower stuff was more phrased in terms of g-d being like metaphorically tongue-burned-off (drowned?) by naming tesena upon understanding, rather than in terms of metaphorically blinded by seeing tesena….

[lepertamar]

The light pouring from aer—but it feels like a lie even to imagine it as true. To imagine it as something so small. Theurgy of course can be built up but to make a building one brick at a time there first must be such a thing as bricks, and is anything in aer entire self that small? Ae is not a near-adult on a tree with one, one, just one droplet of shining light—ae is that running figure, hair glowing, moon rising, water rising too at aer own will. Ae is that and not something less, not just a part of it—

God’s feathers hold the mirrors’ focus but there is sympathy in that blink of Their eyes. They too do not slice into smaller pieces, but...

there is so much manifestation-complication and evidence of the un-binary nature of it hidden right in plain sight, bodies and life are the obvious ones but like this ^^^ "does not slice Themself into smaller pieces" and! the more obvious response would be "don't They? aren't the holies' prices smaller pieces?" and so with Tesena, isn't the tower small? Kjorel's skin small? but no no -- a person's mind is infinite and bigger than anything and so the act of being manifested when-known (eg seen, touched, named) by a mind is different from the act of making a manifestation in the normal sense...and of course, as a combination, a chemical reaction, like oxidixation, the peel of rust left when two different souls smear and foam and produce a transformed thing that is not wholly one or the other.....

[lepertamar]

silkycoal -- what do you think tesena thought when kjorel showed aer the (probably really weird) picture he painted of tamar... cognitohazard — ...tbh I'm not sure? ....personally I'd joke he wouldn't be able to draw himself anymore bc "are you just gonna leave everything minus your eyes unpainted?" ........... Like a negative of Tamar HUH. silkycoal —OOOH

cognitohazard —I imagine tesena would have a certain amount of "ofc you'd paint that, that's sooooo you-fron-a-few-days/weeks-ago" silkycoal — man.... i wonder if it looked horny.....like Male Gaze Boobage but for her eyes cognitohazard —...it probably looked like a pinup where suuuuure there is no explicit nakedness but there's very obvious "gesturing" at the goods

silkycoal —IUDFUGADUGFUGIDKUHVHDAVHFRB cognitohazard — Do you think kjorel ever realises that what he felt was that he Wanted that and a certain amount of envy towards tamar Or does it take another violent breakdown bc "oh yeah you were Contaminated by the thought even back then" /shot silkycoal — probably? no doubt that was part of whatever they talked about after the end of the book... jhkbefhjkegfhjkbegrjkegwrjlerg perhaps onion-like realization breakthroughs iirc he was staring distractedly into the chemistry fire at age 13 soooooo cognitohazard —That just makes the first meeting funnier BC. Kjorel staring at chemistry fire (kinda God-imagery moreso?) And tesena pops up to Court him into aer (unless the chemistry-fire was Pure Light?) silkycoal — ^a^ yeah! 'slightly frozen at the idea of putting a chemical into the fire and changing the flame's color' ah cognitohazard — HM Kjorel, realising he's always been like this:

silkycoal —me thinking back to some of the appallingly kinky games i played as a kid:

cognitohazard — XHSJDJSHCMSJ

cognitohazard — A different series would actually take the skin holy thing into a horror direction since the last chapters have the thing of like, it being unclear who's moving + explicitly tesena moving kjorel Which firstly, plural feels, secondly, the horror of "your" body moving without your input...m silkycoal —YEAH there's so much of that.....'would-be horror but changed the genre by being such a silly goofy guy society' that post that was like 'horror protags have a bad time even if they're just stuck in a pokemon movie' and man...... cognitohazard — FHSHXJSJS yeah!!!! I wonder if that's what makes it so psychotic-flavoured to me? Like vibewise. "If you squint this is a horror. but actually its a cute coming of age/slice of life-y/friendship is power story (incl when you squint)" silkycoal — hgfhjjhfddhfgj yeah! it's like the reverse of 'making this mundane story horror by revealing how this stuff is secretly Bad' cognitohazard —YES.... "Making this mundane horror story not-horror by revealing how it's good" qnd God saw it was good.....

[vardasvapors]

#sexiest monstrosity of all time. hello ma’am.

Ae can’t feel if ae’s breathing as something rushes in, something that is more immense and more awful and more than the roar of all storms and tides ae has ever seen outside aerself, that is more than all of it together—and it is together, it is a self that folds upon itself and explodes and folds and no matter how compressed is more, is more, is more than the sky, is—

—is power.

[….]

It shouldn’t be possible for the sense of fire to seem prideful and wryly smiling and tilting back its head and all the things it seems to be doing—but God who is fire, God who is a thousand flames, is doing it all the same. Their presence is right there, it’s almost leaning down to aer, Their wings and wings and wheels are turning, noting aer, seeing aer pout and almost laughing at it

THESE TWO PASSAGES COMPARED ONE AFTER ANOTHER!!!!!!

[lepertamar]

i had to rotate this for Quite a long time before i felt solid in floating the idea, but i think that perhaps in a defamiliarized mirror to the trend in irl — where mentions of g-d are pushed and shaped into a tone of omnipresent seriousness and calmness that sometimes torturedly belies certain scenes of words and actions that appear on the pages of the tanakh — in sehhinah (the world i mean in-universe) there is a trend where mentions of g-d, even by some of the holies in epigraphs! are pushed and shaped into a tone of cheerfulness and playfulness, even to the point of torturedly eliding the complexity of some of their experiences and expressions of seriousness and anguish

[lepertamar]

tamar on the top of erezel rly was like na'aseh v'nishma huh. and then she's still like still pretty confused and incompetent (affectionate) at understanding stuff g-d is saying even after the timeskip in stars, but obviously Working At It....clearly has gotten so much more competent a year later in lives.......! she rly does not pick a single fucking thing that is easy for her.....she rly is kinda, friction,

[lepertamar]

lurkfriend: kjorel, feeling destroyed when people are super different to him: /J

silkycoal:

Ah, but there is the irony, isn't it? "I assume: to see."

At the expense of everything else. Infinite sights traded for one other, albeit one available by no other means. The public and the private switched: what has become of her eyes visible to all and yet knowable only to those who also have given up their sight to the pyre indicated within. Or without? God is not anywhere in particular, God alone has no body, but God is here, in her eyes. Because They chose this too—God! How ever could anyone be so sure in Their own beauty to demand such a price for seeing it!

lurkfriend: YEAH

lurkfriend: "how could anyone ever be so sure in Their own beauty" [thinking abt tesena]

silkycoal: YEAH BOY

silkycoal: This is making him dizzy but perhaps that is as it should be, if he can capture this feeling in a painting then he will have captured the experience of seeing her, such that all others who see the painting may see her too. He, a Seafarer, meant to convey images from one place to the next—

silkycoal: and ofc he never ASKS

'the only way to try to understand this is to paint and convey this mystery to other regular ppl' [COPING]

lurkfriend: painting is such a fucking. coping mechanism for him. i wonder if it'sl ike. eurgh kjorel is so like, sight/experienced based, like back to his thing abt melting into e.g. shadows if he sees them, becoming one with the world type of thing....

if he externalises that i wonder if he sees it as something "outside of himself" something that he can adopt freely if he chooses to, vs. something threatening because it says something more about what he is

silkycoal: yeah i bet!

silkycoal: his very sight-experiential thing has similarities to stalking-era tamar except tamar's curiosity about what she doesn't know overrides any need or worry to explain or justify or force it into a framework while kjorel is like using 90% of his operating system to try [and fail] to prevent himself from knowing anything new

lurkfriend: YEAH

lurkfriend: kjorel is very foucsed on defending himself.... or his sense of self... it's sort of why hmmm i think of kjorel as a sort of "void"? like a Lackness. not that he's lacking anything, he's full of himself! but he is the void, esp. with the focus on shadows in particular, somewhere were light can't reach (REALLY funny w tesena as a counterpart). anything that could be "in him" is seen as an attack on him on an ontological level...

silkycoal: yessssssssssssssss

lurkfriend: but kjorel as a black hole, in the sense that black holes are "greedy for light" and trap it in them.... tesena who wants to be trapped in that way, who wants to light up that which cannot be lit up...

silkycoal: kjorel is afraid light will destroy him rather than outline and fill him like a bl

YEAH

his skin as the event horizon.....unnnghhhhgghhhhhh so delicious

lurkfriend: YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!! YOU GET ME

silkycoal: and yeah part of how different he is from tamar is i think bc tamar is much more like…..Reacts To g-d’s fire and heat, in a very volatile and violent way yes, but you can see that she preconsciously had an embodied self-understanding of being something that exists. that Is Here. (not just the gap where nothing else has eclipsed it yet.)

lurkfriend: but kjorel becomes so…. idk if perceptible is the right word… he's not just melting into the shadows, he is commanding and so full of himself, bc as you say "outlined"… he has that gravitas

silkycoal: kjorel starts out very smooth, i mean colloquially in personality mainly, he's so slick and suave and socially adept, but also smooth in a slippery way

lurkfriend: oh god yeaH

lurkfriend: i thnk thats part of why i liked his breakdown? like yeah smoothboy get fucking. stuck in all the goddamn complexes. good luck being so smooth and 'easy'

silkycoal: nothing is allowed to snag or stick

YEAH

IT WAS SO FUN NGFDEGHHFFDHN

lurkfriend: YEAH everything had to roll off him. he didn't allow anything to affect him, he was always the one in ~control~ and the master of the chessboard.... and seeing that reversed and him fucking struggling drowning in tesena's tears was like. hell yeah

silkycoal: ....it's incredibly funny how he refers to yenatru in his mind as a boy more often than a man, when not only is he like 3 years younger than yenatru, he's 17 which is BARELY adult in sehhinah hgfghvgg, and he definitely socially vibes himself as older than 17, partly i think in a good way of 'askannite seafaring has a really good way of letting kids grow up, compared to the much more childified teenager context implied in ennuh' but i'm sure for kjorel it's MOSTLY an independencymaxxing 

[lepertamar]

a very central thing about kjorel is that, like, ok he does lie to everyone around him and to himself about almost everything, but he can never quite cross the lie line to claim ‘tesena wasn’t Much’. and this kjorel who can't cross the line is so chewy. like how do you deny when you cannot bring yourself to deny that which refutes everything you're trying to argue…..

[lepertamar]

i figured holies were the thing that stands in for it the most (regarding the teen rebel post)

oh in that post i had in mind things that were more transient, smth you could actually Have An Experimental Teenage Phase About, instead of smth that extreme and subject to g-d going 'u are swagless u disgust me, i refuse to fuck you' and crushing ur ability to make this into an activity you can do to yourself unilaterally, due to g-d also being a Person with preferences lol. (though hm. within holy-circles, tongue-price holies (eg the option that can be explicitly nonconsensually done) specifically perhaps? but that's a subset). but yeah certainly it seems it was historically seen as an extreme option of this thing in some periods of time according to epigraphs. ofc this is like. how the distinction between experimental rebellion and major life choice is not actually very solid -- and is in fact used to denigrate and undermine teenagers all the time.

oh and i bet also at some period of time teenagers going I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DEMON either because they're right and were missed, or because their family changed for the worse as they got older, or smth, and running off to join a demon group, either just for a while or permanently, was a rebel thing? and probably there was a time where it was a thing with fallen, between lu and whenever it became more solidified as normal post-covenant, or stuff like asriel's uh....whatever that was. but again no evidence either of these is that kind of thing in the current time period, and isn't really one in cultural awareness either. same with i think theurgy, or some types of it, which by kids at least was a Kids These Days newfangled disrespectful thing according to at least one dude in 21 AC.

so like there are so many options in history, but which are Not An Edgy Or Rebellious Thing anymore, and maybe this itself suggests that the lack of these is a current time period phenomenon, which perhaps emphasizes my point about sand dune guy, and also my recurring point about how like, the entire Everything about the way tamar did it in stars speaks to some extent to a maybe wholly unintentional but maybe nebulously-subconscious side effect to Make at least eliya, think about the fact there are things in life that can function as actually dangerous and appalling.

and i think this all kinda can support a reason why this point in time is the time when the gods thing burst through into common knowledge.....as yenatru and tesena speculate in Lives, maybe most people in history who were gods never knew in part because they weren't particularly desperately wrong-feeling in such a way as tesena was. i could go further and speculate that possibly, if even someone as extreme in malcontent as tesena had some second-best outlet that was not foiled by the particular circumstances of aer particular life setting, ae too might have never realized, and this is mb why many others over the course of history never realized or at least never demanded it like ae did.

[lepertamar]

…..i can’t say this in complete security bc i do not know how aro or aroace impressions feel like, but as someone who’s non-amatonormative in other ways i Do think the kjorel/yenatru vs kjorel/tesena………..thing………was anti-amatonormative enough to absolutely Delight and Palate-cleanse in a way that i unfortunately might have a hard time unseeing if i read any romance (dark or otherwise) in the future