#terrible toxic crime boyfriends

[okaywolf]

Thief who has been swapping things around.

Written to the prompt by Make Up A Criminal cohost prompt account — Thief who has been swapping things around.

Part two, in which we learn what Neph's non-crime job is and what crime Neph was doing that put him in the river in the first place.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Gauss stumbles out of his boots over the pile of Neph’s shop gear at the front door. He stops before stumbling over Neph in the hall with the broken coffee table leaning against the wall. “Weren’t you tossing that?”

“I was.” Neph looks up from measuring what is missing two legs, cracked down the middle, and too large for their living room anyways. He smiles wide at Gauss. His wide smiles shut his eyes, giving a pure and wholesome impression that Gauss has long since learned better of. “But now it’s full of good memories. I’m gonna take it to the shop and fix it.” He steps into the hands reaching for his waist.

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[telltaleanatomicalheart]

i dont think that hotd is adding unnecessary violence to women to make them stronger but rather showing u who this man is time after time a groomer, a pedophile, and all around abuser.( he killed his first wife and insulted her to anyone who brought her up, his second wife killed herself bc she was scared that she would be murded for a ghetto ass c-section and rightfully so bc he didn't care about her wanting to go home why would he care about any of her other wishes)....and that he has no loyalties and its not nessisarily a good thing... but also the theme of women in supposed positions of power being abused and groomed by the men around them has a lot to do with this show....

[molsno]

god, what happens next is so good. the character writing is just spectacular. it fascinates me just how much depth there is to each character and how that contributes to the story.

milo's dni is the most revealing thing about him, and it's the very first thing we hear from him:

right off the bat, we can see what kind of person the protagonist is. he's a pastel softboi trans man who clings to a childish aesthetic to appear weak and non-threatening. despite being involved in a toxic relationship with another trans guy who attempted to rape and kill an 11 year old girl when he was a teenager and later murdered his girlfriend, which milo helped with by dismembering her corpse, he puts "pedophiles and unhealthy pairing shippers dni" on his carrd. which, ok, maybe he wants to distance himself from people like griffin now - except that's not really true, because he talks to, moves in with, and regularly hangs out with a serial killer fan who idolizes griffin and is even dating the guy while he's in prison. he puts "being against neopronouns" and "anti-otherkin" on the same level as those things. he explicitly denies any responsibility in the murders of haylie and savannah, despite having literally chopped haylie's arm off. all the while, he has "you deserve to heal" in big bold letters, while not applying that belief to anyone but himself.

right from the start, it's obvious that milo is not a good person. but he's also humanized throughout the story. sure, some of his softboi persona is a means of victimizing himself to avoid taking responsibility for what he did - and you could make the case that he was a victim in some ways. on the other hand, he also never got to grow up because he spent 5 years in a psychiatric institute. is it any surprise that he clings to the same aesthetic, interests, and hobbies he had when he was 15? he never got to stop being a kid, and how is he supposed to now? he didn't graduate high school, he can't get a job, and nobody wants to be friends with him because of what he did. it raises uncomfortable questions - namely, what happens next? milo served his time for the crime he committed as a minor. he was already punished, but now he has to live the entire rest of his life. what is he supposed to do?

that, I think is the most interesting part of this story. almost every character in this story makes it hard for you to like them, but they also have very human reasons for doing the terrible things that they do. I'll talk about some of my favorites under the read more, but be aware that there will be spoilers:

claire is one of the most interesting characters to me, just because of how unlikable she is.

when we first see claire in victim impact statement, she tries to ignore haylie, griffin, and milo as much as possible. she doesn't even seem to like her sister. she treats haylie as a nuisance for coming into the room that they share as sisters. she doesn't want to go to the open mic night to listen to haylie play her ukulele. when she finds haylie bawling her eyes out in the bathroom at anime central, she just looks away, as if to say "you chose to date your shitty boyfriend". when she hears haylie and griffin fighting upstairs, she just pretends not to hear it. when haylie is curled up in terror later, claire puts on headphones and turns her back to her. her headphones become a way of drowning out haylie's screams when griffin is around, and because of that, she doesn't hear haylie screaming for her life, and ends up finding her corpse in the kitchen.

that's why I don't find it surprising at all that she becomes an outspoken transphobe who wants to take her anger out on the trans people who murdered her sister. she goes to media events and publicly degenders milo and griffin. she calls aaron's friends trannies. I think it's easy to misconstrue her as a terf, but she literally doesn't even pay lip service to feminism. how could she? she knew that her sister was being abused by her boyfriend, and she did nothing. let me remind you that she lives in a house where "smash the patriarchy" is embroidered on the wall. she doesn't care about any of that. she just wants a scapegoat. she wants to make the law impose harsher punishments on minors who commit violent crimes because she doesn't know what else to do with her life. she very clearly hates herself, becoming an alcoholic to cope with her guilt. she pretends to care about haylie and fight for this law because it's the only way she can convince herself she's a good person, even though she can see that doing what she's doing is turning everyone against her.

and then that brings us to audrey. it's difficult to like her, too, because she's dating claire despite all of the horrible things she's doing. but at the same time, I can see where she's coming from. her mother died of cancer and she and all of her other black siblings were adopted by conservative christian white parents. she's still christian to this day, and makes a point of separating herself from "criminals" by insisting that she has nothing to do with them because she goes to church and takes care of her family. she doesn't want to disavow the law that claire worked so hard to pass because at the end of the day, it won't affect her personally, even though she is aware that the justice system disproportionately punishes black people. she very clearly has a lot of internalized racism, and I think that's best exemplified in the way she draws herself. despite having pretty dark skin in real life, she draws herself as light skinned as claire, her white girlfriend:

like, it's hard to like audrey, but you can clearly see why she's made all of the decisions she has! she idolizes claire because it's her first lesbian relationship. the way she sees it, claire can do no wrong. audrey does actually seem to be aware that her girlfriend is doing terrible things, but she essentially just plugs her ears and tries to ignore it. that's why she doesn't go to claire's campaign events. she ignores all of her girlfriend's flaws because claire is essentially her savior. because she has claire, she doesn't have to go back to her family, to her abusive alcoholic white father. she doesn't have to actually take care of her younger siblings, which is a responsibility she's foisted off unto mark. that's why she ignores that claire is just as much of an emotional drain as her father. she's highly depressed, she's an alcoholic, she trashes their bedroom (leaving audrey to clean up after her mess), she puts up an emotional wall and dismisses audrey's attempts to comfort her, and dismisses audrey's own problems as being less traumatizing and less important. by all accounts, claire is a terrible girlfriend and a terrible person, but because audrey idolizes her as her savior, she stays by her side. I'm really looking forward to seeing how she reacts to claire's disappearance in future chapters.

and then of course, there's vikki. she's been doing something incredibly disrespectful for years by making true crime videos where she talks about the victims and killers like it's all a joke. she makes a video about whether ethical necrophilia is possible, and makes a callous, bitter joke that the concept of "respect for the dead" is antiquated, because nobody respects her as a trans woman of color even though she's still alive. for this comment, people have harassed her online endlessly, enough that she had to make a video called "STOP TELLING PEOPLE I FUCK CORPSES". that doesn't stop her from making a video about the murder of haylie, complete with an interview from milo. she'll throw him under the bus if it means getting the attention off herself for a bit.

and yet, I think out of everyone, I feel the most compassion for vikki. yes, she used milo for content and called him a "sad little blonde girl", but I can understand where she's coming from! like, again, she's a trans woman of color in the true crime community. she knows the archetype milo is trying so hard to be in order to avoid taking responsibility for what he did. like, I've personally seen trans women of color who are victimized by white trans men who pull the same exact shtick as milo over and over, so I completely understand her frustration. that said, she also realized she went too far and tried to apologize, only to find out she was blocked and that milo basically wrote a callout post against her. I think it says a lot that vikki was one of the only people to actually try to talk to milo, even if the way she went about it was wrong.

vikki does things that are disrespectful, but to be honest, it's not that surprising! she grew up in a 90% white town in the middle of nowhere, got assaulted by multiple white boys for being a faggot, got sent to alternative school, worked for a funeral home as a teenager, and transitioned. not only is she desensitized to death, she's angry that people revere the dead more than her.

it's astounding, really! what happens next is so well written because it makes you feel conflicted about each of its characters. what are we supposed to do with these people who do awful things? a lot of the intrigue in this comic comes from seeing how each of the characters handles this question as they deal with the other characters who have done terrible things, while they themselves are deeply flawed as well. I think the writing really forces you to contend with the idea that these are all still people, and that their humanity needs to be recognized even if they do terrible things. it makes you ask, what happens next?

[fatecantstopme]

I Can't Walk Away

Pairing: Nick Amaro x plus size!reader

Summary: When you and your boyfriend break up, you're faced with the seemingly impossible task of putting yourself back together. Luckily for you, your very handsome coworker is more than happy to help along the way.

Warnings: Body image issues, low self-esteem, mentions of toxic/abusive relationships, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, light dom/sub vibes, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V).

A/N: This was entirely self-indulgent and I have no regrets.

Spanish Translations:

Querida: sweetheart/darling

Hermosa: beautiful

Mierda: shit

Por favor: please

Si: yes

All other translations will be after the sentence in brackets/italics.

You dropped onto Olivia's couch with a huff, tears still threatening to break through your stubborn facade.

"Are we gonna talk about it or do I need to have someone beat him up?" Liv asked you, a small smirk gracing her face.

"As much as I'd love to see his ass get handed to him, I think we should avoid committing any crimes," you said lightly.

Olivia sighed softly and reached over to put her arm around you. You leaned into her shoulder and began to let your guard drop. Olivia had been your best friend for over a decade now, your time working together in SVU having brought you closer than you could have imagined.

"He was an asshole, (Y/N/N)," she said softly. "You deserve better."

"You say that, but I guess I just don't believe it," you muttered.

It nearly broke her heart to hear you speak so negatively of yourself, but she knew no matter how many uplifting words she spoke, you would still refuse to believe her.

"Maybe there's something wrong with me," you whispered, tears finally beginning to fall. "Maybe I'm broken--unloveable."

"Hey," she chided. "You are so many things, (Y/N), but broken and unloveable are not among them."

She tightened her grip on you, pulling you into a proper side hug. She let you cry into her shoulder, her own heart breaking along with yours.

You knew, objectively, she was right--your now-ex was indeed an asshole. He'd never treated you well and had often put you down and made you feel terrible about yourself. Your self-esteem had been lower than usual when you met him and in the 6 months you'd been together, he'd managed to destroy whatever vestige of self-love you had left.

There wasn't a single thing about you he didn't belittle. Whether it was your physical appearance, your career, your hobbies, your dreams...he made you feel like everything you ever did was a mistake. In his estimation, you were too fat, unintelligent, boring...and your choice in career was just about the worst thing you could do.

You'd made it your mission in life to help the victims of particularly heinous crimes, which is why you'd been working at SVU for almost 12 years. You were the squad's forensic psychologist, and you loved your work. In many respects, it was the one thing that really brought joy to your life. It was your greatest passion--and the amount of time you spent at work certainly showed it.

Yet during those 6 months with him...your love for the job had begun to wane. Every time you'd stay late or have to cancel a date, he'd berate you for it--mocking your job and your inability to 'be a real person'. Now that you'd finally taken the leap and broken up with him, you were hopeful you could fall back in love with your work.

In this moment, however, all you could think about were the horrible things he'd said to you when you told him you wanted to break up. He'd been especially cruel, calling out every physical insecurity you had and making you feel like an absolute pile of human garbage. He'd called you fat, ugly, unloveable, gross...and a million other things you couldn't bear to repeat.

You weren't thin--you knew that, but you weren't gross. That was just offensive. Unfortunately, he wasn't the first ex to make comments about your weight--something you'd been struggling with for most of your adult life. The words had hit you harder than you'd expected, making you actually think he might be right...maybe you were the problem.

Olivia's voice broke you out of your thoughts, "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

You just nodded, not trusting your voice to answer her properly.

She squeezed you a little tighter, her reassuring presence grounding you in ways you desperately needed. You were always thankful for her friendship, but it was moments like this where you were reminded how much she really meant to you.

**********

You'd spent most of the weekend at Olivia's and by the time Monday rolled around, you were feeling a little bit better. She always knew what to do and say to make everything okay. It was a gift you'd always envied and appreciated.

It was very typical of you to be the first person in the office, having been an early riser most of your life. So you were more than a little surprised when you walked into the precinct Monday morning and spotted Nick Amaro sitting at his desk.

"You're in early," you commented lightly in lieu of greeting.

He turned his gaze to look over at you and shot you a disarming smile. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I might as well get a head start on some paperwork I've been putting off."

"Wise man. Wouldn't want to upset the boss."

He grinned. "She's strict." His voice was teasing and warm and it made you feel something in your gut you always tried to ignore.

In truth, you were extremely attracted to Nick--it was undeniable. You had not, nor would you ever, tell him or act on it. Nick was so far out of your league it wasn't even funny. Besides, he was newly single, still fresh from his divorce.

"She can be calmed with good coffee and blueberry muffins," you said conspiratorially.

Nick chuckled. "I'm gonna have to write that down."

You offered him a smile before continuing past him to your office. You were surprised when his voice stopped you after a few steps.

"How was your weekend?"

You turned back to face him. "Friday was absolute shit," you said honestly. "But I spent Saturday and part of yesterday with Liv, so it's better now."

A look of concern crossed his face. "Everything okay?"

You feigned a smile. "Everything's fine. Thanks for asking."

His eyes narrowed as he gazed at you skeptically. "Is it that guy again?"

Your cheeks darkened, embarrassed Nick even knew about your ex. "We broke up."

Nick almost looked relieved. "I would say sorry, but it wouldn't be honest. I never liked the guy--he didn't treat you right."

You were surprised he paid enough attention to the things you said to know just how badly your ex had treated you. "Oh?"

Nick stood up and took a couple steps closer to you. He was still a professional distance away, but he could speak quieter so only you could hear him.

"You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You're an amazing woman, (Y/N), and a good man would never treat you the way he did. He clearly didn't recognize your worth."

His words slammed into you with surprising force. "I-um-thank you," you muttered softly.

"You can thank me by dating a man who will love you the way you deserve," he said lowly. "Como una reina." [Like a queen.]

His last three words were so quiet you weren't even sure you'd heard him properly--or if you were supposed to hear them at all. You weren't fluent in Spanish by any means, but you understood the basics...enough to know he'd said something about a queen. That is, if you heard him correctly.

You were about to ask him to elaborate when Olivia came into the squad room. She sent a warm smile your way and issued greetings to both you and Nick. Her arrival broke whatever spell Nick had been under, and he went back to his desk quietly.

You went into your office, leaving the door open behind you so you could hear the goings on and the arrival of the rest of the squad. There were plenty of things for you to do, but you couldn't get Nick's words out of your head.

**********

Olivia looked up from her computer when Nick knocked on the doorframe entering her office.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

He came in and quietly shut the door behind him.

"Uh-oh...closed door conversation? Everything okay?"

"With me, yes," he answered. "But I wanted to ask you something and I don't want anyone overhearing."

"Okay..."

"It's about (Y/N)."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "What about her?"

"She mentioned she'd spent the weekend with you and she and that asshole broke up."

Olivia chuckled softly, glad to hear she wasn't the only one who hated your ex.

"I know it's not really my business, but I can tell something is really upsetting her. Hell, I've noticed a change in her since the moment they started dating--and not in a good way."

"He isn't a good person," Olivia conceded.

"Tell me about it," Nick muttered. "Anyway, I just--well, I just want to know if she's okay? I mean, really okay."

"Why don't you ask her?"

"I did, but I know she wasn't being honest with me."

Olivia sighed. She had a feeling he was asking about you for a reason, but she wasn't sure it was her place to tell him the truth. She was torn between being honest with her partner and keeping her best friend's pain to herself.

"I don't know if it's my place to tell you, but he did say some particularly cruel things about her when she broke up with him."

Nick's eyes narrowed and Olivia could see the anger flare in them. "What did he say to her?" Even his voice was laced with fury--the mere idea someone would hurt you sent him off the edge.

"I can't tell you," Olivia answered. "But if you really want to know, then I think you should talk to her. She trusts you, so she may open up to you."

Nick nodded, anger still boiling beneath the surface. "You're right--I didn't mean to intrude or anything."

Olivia shook her head. "It's alright. I know you care about her...I guess I'm just a little surprised by your anger."

He winced slightly, feeling embarrassed for his display of emotion. "I don't like the idea of some guy making her feel like shit."

"Neither do I," she said honestly. "I am curious though...what made you ask about her?"

"Wha-what do you mean?"

Olivia smiled slowly. "I mean, why do you want to know badly enough to ask me?"

Nick had a feeling Olivia could see right through him--they'd been partners for a few years after all. He wasn't sure how to answer--or if he wanted to be entirely truthful. In the end, he opted for vague honesty. "I care about her."

Olivia watched his expression in silence for a long moment before responding. "So do I."

Nick could see the meaning behind her words as clearly as if she'd spoken them aloud--don't hurt my friend. He didn't say it, but he hoped Olivia knew he would never hurt you...it would break his heart.

**********

"Hey (Y/N/N). You busy?"

You looked up to see Nick standing in your office doorway, leaning against the frame. You swallowed thickly as you pushed down the improper thoughts blazing through your mind at the sight.

"Uh--no. What's up?"

He stepped into the room, edging closer to your desk. "I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight. My treat."

You raised your eyebrows at him, unsure of the cause of his request. "Is there some sort of celebration I'm unaware of?"

He chuckled lightly. "Other than your new-found freedom, no. I just...well, I wanted to spend a little time with you. Ya know, if you want."

You bit your bottom lip as you contemplated his offer. "Well, I don't have any other plans, so why not?"

He grinned. "Excellent. Do you want time to go home first or just leave from here?"

You looked down at your outfit, suddenly feeling very frumpy and unattractive. You knew he wasn't asking you out on a date--just a friend inviting you to dinner to cheer you up. Even still, you really didn't want to go out looking like this. "Do you mind if I go home and change first?"

"Not at all. I can pick you up from your place, if you'd like?"

"Oh, uh-yeah. Sure."

He smiled again. "Perfect. 6:30?"

You nodded. "Sounds good."

You watched him walk out of your office, mind racing as you tried to figure out his motivations and what the hell you were gonna wear.

**********

By the time 6pm rolled around, you'd managed to change your clothes somewhere in the realm of 50 times, and you still weren't entirely satisfied. Even your favorite outfit didn't feel right--you could hear your ex's voice in the back of your mind telling you everything you tried on looked bad.

You dug further into your closet, looking for something simple--cover the things you wanna hide and accentuate the things you wanna show off. Your eyes fell on a beautiful black dress you'd actually never worn. You'd purchased it on a whim because you'd loved it in the store and Olivia had insisted it was too perfect to pass up on.

You pulled the dress off the hanger and put it on, pleased it still fit properly. When you turned to look in the mirror, you almost didn't recognize yourself--you actually felt pretty. The bodice of the dress was tight, but the lower half was flowy. The material was a soft, stretch satin, with a low neckline and flutter sleeves. The dress hit right above your knees and it practically screamed for a pair of heels.

You found your favorite black pumps, slipping them on and smiling at your reflection. You put on some jewelry to spice up the look, sprayed your favorite perfume, and double checked your hair and makeup one last time. You didn't wear much makeup on the daily, so you didn't go too wild with your makeup for the evening. You'd added some eyeliner and lipstick, but otherwise you looked natural. You'd actually been having a good hair day already, so you were pleased to see it was still behaving properly.

You'd just put the last finishing touches on the outfit when you heard the buzzer ring. You quickly went to answer it, and upon hearing Nick's voice, told him you'd be right down.

You took one last look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and headed downstairs feeling both excited and trepidatious. You reminded yourself once again this was just two friends having dinner--purely platonic...but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't want it to be an actual date.

Nick was waiting just outside the front entrance to your apartment building, and he turned around when he heard the door open. Nothing could have prepared you for the look on his face when he saw you.

"Santa mierda," he breathed. "You look incredible." [Holy shit.]

You blushed and looked away. "Thank you," you mumbled softly.

He stepped towards you and gently touched your chin, lifting your face to meet his gaze. "You're very welcome."

He dropped his hand, but his eyes stayed fixed on your face for a long moment. "Do you like Italian?" he asked.

"Of course," you answered, silently pleased your voice sounded normal.

"Excellent." He gestured towards his car and you followed behind him. He opened the passenger door and helped you in before getting in the driver's seat.

The drive wasn't very long, and your nerves kept you quiet for most of the ride. You listened to him chatter on about nothing, simply enjoying the sound of his voice.

When you arrived at the restaurant, he once again opened your door and helped you out, but this time his hand didn't leave yours. He placed your hand through the loop he'd made with his arm and guided you to the entrance.

Once you were seated, your nerves began to ratchet up even higher. Unfortunately for you, Nick was both an extremely good detective and an annoyingly perceptive person. As such, he noticed your discomfort immediately.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you lied.

"It's just me, (Y/N/N)," he said quietly.

You exhaled slowly--realizing he was right. It was Nick for God's sake. He was your colleague, your friend. There was no reason to be nervous. "You're right."

He smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze your hand. He pulled it back to his side of the table as the server arrived for your drink order.

You were grateful for the glass of wine he delivered moments later, lifting it to your lips almost immediately. You knew the liquid would calm your nerves--maybe then you wouldn't embarrass yourself.

"I'm glad you agreed to have dinner with me," Nick said softly as he sipped his own glass of wine.

"I was a little surprised, in all honesty."

"That I asked or that you agreed?" he teased lightly.

You smiled. "Definitely the former."

"I hate seeing you upset," he admitted. "I thought I might be able to cheer you up a little."

"Thanks, Nick. You're a good friend."

His face fell slightly, but he quickly hid it behind a soft smile. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Whatever he was going to ask was cut off by the arrival of the server to take your food order.

As soon as the server left the table, Nick leaned forward and lowered his voice. "What did he say to you that hurt you so much?"

"What?"

"Your ex."

Your expression shifted and you looked down at the table. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"Because whatever he said hurt you--and I'm willing to bet my career that he was wrong."

Your eyes snapped back up to meet his. His expression was deadly serious, yet it somehow put you at ease in a way only Nick could. "He said some unpleasant things about my physical appearance that I could have lived without hearing."

Surprise lit up his handsome face. "Unpleasant things about your appearance? I'll bet my life he was wrong."

Now it was your turn to be surprised. "I wouldn't make that bet, Nick."

"I'm confident. Tell me what he said and I'll judge for myself."

You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before giving him a quick overview. "Essentially he said I'm unattractive and fat--I recall the word 'gross' being used as well."

Nick's temper flared instantly, the urge to punch that son of a bitch in the face nearly overwhelming. "He said what?"

Even if you didn't know Nick, you would have been able to see the rage simmering in his eyes, hear it in his tone. "It's not a big deal."

"If he was here, I'd launch him through a window. Bastard."

"I'm okay," you reassured him quietly.

Your soft voice grounded him, as it so often did, and he felt his anger dissipating. He was still angry, but the urge to hunt that asshole down had begun to fade.

"He was wrong, you know."

"Huh?"

"He was wrong. Not only are you one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on, but your body is perfectly proportioned--deliciously soft and curvy. You're about as far from gross as a human being can be."

He spoke with such conviction, such assuredness, that you almost believed him--almost.

"While I appreciate the compliment, Nick, you've never seen me naked...your opinion would change, trust me."

Nick's eyes flared with a new kind of intensity. "I highly doubt that."

"His did," you said quietly.

"He clearly didn't know what he had."

Your eyes met his, shoulders tense, discomfort obvious in every movement you made.

"Listen to me, (Y/N). I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe me--I think you're gorgeous. Stunning. Elegante. Sin fin perfecta." [Elegant. Endlessly perfect.] He reached for your hand and you let him take it in his. "You are a prize, (Y/N). Any man worth a damn would be honored to call you his."

You didn't know what to say. His words surprised you and warmed your soul at the same time. You could also feel the familiar tightening in your gut, accompanied by an entire swarm of butterflies dancing in your stomach.

"Forget every terrible thing he ever said to you, hermosa. Let me fill your mind with praise. Let me remind you of your beauty, inside and out, of your brilliance, of your kindness, your empathy...of all the little things that make you the incredible woman you are."

"Nick..." you whispered, his name the only coherent thing you were able to utter.

The moment was shattered by the arrival of your food. You'd been hungry when you sat down at the table, but your body was now flooded with a very different kind of hunger--a hunger you now believed Nick shared.

"Thank you, Nick," you said softly. "I know it's not nearly enough, but thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I meant every word."

You gave him a small smile. "Still..."

He returned the expression.

The two of you ate in silence for several minutes, minds clearly elsewhere. After a while, Nick noticed you'd done more moving the food around the plate than actually eating and he called you out on it.

"Eat your food, querida. You'll need your strength."

Your head snapped up, eyes meeting his gaze. "For what?"

He leaned forward. "If you'll let me, I'm going to spend several hours showing you exactly how sexy I think you are."

You gulped. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

He grinned wolfishly. "By worshipping that amazing body of yours...over and over again, until you're screaming my name."

You suddenly found it very difficult to breathe, let alone eat. Nick, on the other hand, went right back to eating his food as if he hadn't just threatened you with an incredibly good time.

You had to force yourself to focus on your food, desperately trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs.

As soon as the meal was over, Nick asked for the check and paid, revealing just how desperate he was to get back to your place.

Once again, he helped you into the car, only this time his hand lingered on the small of your back.

Anticipation flooded through you as Nick drove through the streets of the city. You'd wanted him for so long--never once thinking he'd reciprocate the desire. Despite his words earlier in the evening, you still felt a shred of self-doubt...worrying he might not find you as attractive once you were naked.

"Where's that pretty head at, querida?" he asked softly, noticing your anxiety.

"Can you promise me something?"

"Of course."

"If you don't want to go through with this...you know, when you see me without my clothes on...please just tell me. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you don't wanna do."

He reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. "I don't have to promise that because I know what I want, (Y/N)...and that's you. You could be a alien underneath those clothes and I'd still want you."

You laughed lightly. "I promise I'm not an alien."

He grinned. "Then we're gonna be just fine, baby."

You closed your eyes, silently willing yourself to believe him. You trusted him with your life--something you'd never experienced with any of your past relationships. Every fiber of your being told you Nick would never hurt you on purpose--never. You just needed to trust him--let go of your pain and give in to your desires.

When you finally made it back to your apartment, Nick gave you a gentle reminder. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to, (Y/N)."

"I want to," you whispered.

He inhaled slowly and took a step towards you. "Say 'no' or 'stop' and I'll stop immediately, okay? No hard feelings--I won't push you."

"I don't want to say no, Nick."

He took another step towards you, effectively backing you against the wall. "If you wanna stop--"

"Nick, please just kiss me," you begged softly.

He groaned softly before leaning in to press his lips to yours. His kiss was like fire and ice--more addictive than any drug known to man. He kissed you like you were the air he needed to breathe--like he would rather suffocate to death than stop.

He pressed his warm body against yours, wedging his knee between your thighs to keep you from squeezing them together. His tongue tangled with yours, quickly asserting dominance as he deepened the kiss.

Your hands went to the buttons on his white button down, quickly undoing them in a desperate need to feel his skin. He helped you remove the shirt, followed by his undershirt, leaving his toned chest bare for you to see.

You bit your lip and stifled a soft groan as you appreciated his form.

"You can touch me, querida," he said softly. "I wanna feel your soft hands on my skin."

You did as he asked, hands gliding over his smooth, tan skin. He sighed softly and leaned into your touch, lips grazing your jaw affectionately.

Your hands traveled to his hips and you began to loosen his belt. He allowed you to unbutton his pants and he helped you remove them.

"I think you're a bit overdressed for the occasion, hermosa," he teased huskily.

You tensed slightly, a feeling of dread washing over you.

Of course, Nick felt it and instantly began to sooth your worries. "You can keep on as much as you want, querida, but I want to see you. I've wanted to touch you like this since the day I met you. But if you're more comfortable keeping your clothes on, that's alright."

You looked up at him, his dark eyes warm and honest. You took a deep breath and pushed him back slightly, giving yourself the room to pull your dress off over your head.

You dropped your dress to the ground, but your eyes didn't meet his gaze--you couldn't even bring yourself to look at his face, too afraid of what you might see there.

"Querida, por favor," Nick whispered. "Look at me."

You looked up at him slowly, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you took in his hungry expression.

"I wanna kiss every square inch of your beautiful body, hermosa. Will you let me?"

You nodded tentatively.

"I need to hear you say it, baby," he pleaded.

"I want you Nick, please."

He groaned and pressed his body against yours again. "Say that again, querida."

"I want you," you whispered.

"Fuck--" He slammed his lips against yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth almost immediately. You melted in his arms, reveling in the feeling of his body against yours.

He finally pulled away to catch his breath, but his hands didn't leave your body. Now that he'd touched you so intimately, he never wanted to stop.

"Come with me," he whispered, before guiding you to your bedroom. "Lay down on the bed for me, querida."

You did as he asked, noticing how his eyes never left your body.

He made sure you were looking at him before he began to lower his boxer briefs, slowly revealing his large cock. He was already painfully hard, a bead of precum lingering at the tip.

You licked your lips in anticipation, an action he noticed with pride.

"Like what you see, hermosa?"

"Very much so."

He smiled and climbed onto the bed, covering your soft body with his hard one. "May I take off your bra?"

You nodded.

"Baby..." he said in a clear warning tone.

You understood his meaning instantly, a flood of arousal going straight to your core at the order. "Yes, papi."

His eyes widened for a moment, surprised and pleased at your use of the title. "Such a good girl, aren't you?"

A soft moan left your lips at the praise and he smiled to himself, pleased he was able to suss out what you liked.

His hand snaked around your back, deftly unclasping your bra with surprising ease. The moment your breasts were bared to his gaze, his mouth descended on you, taking a pert nipple into his mouth.

You moaned softly, fingers intertwining into his dark locks. His lips and hands massaged your breasts, giving them equal attention. True to his word, he moved tantalizingly slowly down your body, kissing every inch of skin he could, while avoiding where you needed him most.

By the time he made his way back up to your face, you were begging him to touch your pussy--pleading for some relief.

"Nick, please--I need you."

"What did you call me?" he asked harshly.

Your eyes widened lustfully. "I'm sorry, papi!"

He smiled, ghosting his fingers across your still-clothed pussy. "That's my good girl."

You whimpered at the feather-light touches he placed to your mound, desperate for more. "Please, papi."

"Hmm? Qué deseas?" [What do you want?]

"Please touch me," you begged.

"I am touching you, querida."

"More, papi. Please!"

He smiled. "Normally I'd take my time teasing you--making you beg for what you want...but if I'm being honest, I'm as desperate to touch you as you are to feel it, so I'll be nice to you this time."

He tugged your panties off quickly before spreading your thighs as wide as he could, revealing your dripping wet folds.

"All this for me, baby?" he growled.

"Only you, papi," you responded.

"Yeah? No one else makes you this wet?"

You shook your head vehemently. "No one else."

"Now I have one rule, hermosa. I wanna hear you--every little sound coming out of that pretty mouth. Be as loud as you want. Entiendes?" [Understand?]

"Si, papi," you whimpered.

He smirked as he lowered himself down onto the bed between your legs. His strong hands gripped your hips and he tugged you as close to his face as he could before diving into your pussy with a deep groan of pleasure.

You gasped at the sensation, the sound quickly becoming moans of enjoyment. Nick was quite skilled with his mouth--his tongue alone made you feel things you'd never before experienced.

Your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging at the roots as you desperately sought your release.

Nick held you in place as he continued his assault on your pussy, ensuring he had complete control over your pleasure.

"Feels so good," you gasped. "Gonna cum, papi."

He groaned against your clit, the vibrations sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. He could feel how close you were by the way your thighs tried to close and your grip on his hair tightened.

Your moans became more desperate--needy, and he slid two fingers into your pussy, gently pressing into your g-spot rapidly.

You cried out, legs shaking slightly, seconds before your orgasm ripped through you like a tidal wave. His name left your lips in a gasped scream as he worked you through your high, only stopping when you began to squirm away.

You were completely breathless when he lifted his head, mouth and chin soaked in your juices. He licked his lips and wiped his mouth on his hand, licking it clean as he maintained eye contact with you. "You taste so good baby...I can't get enough."

You reached for him and he obliged, leaning forward to kiss you softly. You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue, a soft sound of pleasure escaping into his mouth.

"Querida," he whispered against your lips. "I need to be inside you."

"Please," you whimpered.

"Do you have protection?"

"I'm on the pill..."

"I'm clean," he assured you.

"Me too."

He lined his cock up with your entrance and looked back up at your face. "Are you sure, hermosa?"

"Si papi. I want you to fuck me."

He groaned softly before thrusting into you, sheathing himself fully inside of you in one swift movement.

You cried out, the stretch both overwhelming and extremely pleasurable all at once. You clutched his neck and he breathed deeply, trying to calm his racing heart.

"You can move," you whispered.

"Not yet, querida. I need a moment."

"Are you okay?" you asked in concern.

"Your pussy feels so damn incredible, baby...I'm just trying to control myself so I don't hurt you."

You bit your lip and lifted his face up to look at you. "I like a little bit of pain, papi." You clenched your pussy tightly for emphasis.

"Mierda," he ground out. "You sure?"

"Fuck me senseless, Nick. Por favor."

As much as he loved you calling him 'papi', hearing you say his name like that made him feral. He pulled out and thrust back in harshly, starting a fast, hard pace.

"Baby, say my name again," he begged.

"Nick," you moaned lowly.

"Fuck." He was fucking you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do and you'd never experienced anything like it.

You felt the coil tightening in your abdomen, and for the first time in your life, you knew you were going to cum during penetration. Your moans were loud enough to wake the neighbors, your nails dug into his muscular back, and your pussy had his cock in a vice grip.

"You gonna cum for me, (Y/N)?"

You nodded rapidly, unable to voice a response. The only thing coming out of your mouth was a string of incoherent moans and pleas.

"I wanna feel you cum, baby. Cubre mi polla." [Coat my cock.]

"Nick!" you whined.

"What do you need, querida? Tell me."

"More," you whimpered.

He slipped his hand between your bodies and began to gently massage your clit. "This what you need, baby?"

"Nick!" you screamed. "Don't stop!"

"That's it, baby. That's it. I've got you. Cum for me, querida. Ven por mí." [Come for me.]

You cried out in ecstasy as the waves of pleasure overwhelmed your senses. You clung to him desperately, as if he was a life raft while you were adrift in the ocean.

He began to chase his own high as you came down, your awareness coming back to you. His thrusts were fast and rough, his breathing ragged.

"I want you to cum for me, papi. Fill me up," you begged.

"Dios mio! You feel so good, baby. Wanna cum for you."

You clenched your pussy as tightly as you could, desperate for him to enjoy this as much as you did.

"(Y/N)!" he cried out as he came, his hot seed filling you up.

His thrusts slowed and faltered before he finally collapsed on top of you, breathless and satiated.

You held him close, running your fingers through his hair as he caught his breath. You were a little worried he would regret this now that it was over, but your fears were assuaged the moment he lifted his head to look at you.

His beautiful brown eyes were warm and loving as he gazed at you, happiness and contentment clear in his expression. "That was incredible," he murmured softly.

You blushed slightly. "You were incredible."

"As were you, querida."

He pressed his lips to yours as he pulled himself up. He rolled onto his side and pulled you with him, so your head rested against his chest.

"I'm thinking we take a power nap, then we go for round two," Nick said softly.

"Round two?!"

He grinned. "I did promise you I was gonna worship this sexy body of yours for hours."

"I didn't think you were serious, Nick," you said with a chuckle.

"Oh, baby, I'm always serious about worshipping you. I think you'll learn that very quickly."

You smiled and kissed his chest softly. You debated whether you wanted to voice the question that popped into your head, but once again, Nick beat you to it.

"You know this isn't a one time thing, right?" Nick asked gently. "I mean, unless you want it to be."

You looked up at him, expression soft and affectionate. "I was actually just going to ask you that."

He grinned. "So...you saying you might wanna see me again?"

"I see you every day, Nick," you teased.

"I mean like this, hermosa. Naked in your bed, making you scream my name, giving you as much pleasure as your pretty little body will take."

Your breath hitched in your chest, giving away just how badly you wanted that. "That too."

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. "If I'm lucky, you'll let me take you out more too. Dinner, dancing, walks in the park, musicals...whatever you want. Wherever you go, I want to be there too."

Your eyes widened in surprise and tears filled them. You'd never had someone speak to you the way Nick did, let alone want to be with you in the way he just described.

"Querida," he whispered as he wiped your eyes. "Don't cry."

"Tears of joy," you assured him. "I promise."

His expression warmed, filling with the love and admiration he clearly felt for you. "So you'll be mine then? Exclusively?"

Your lips parted and you smiled. "I would love that."

He smiled back. "Thank god...because whether you knew it or not, I've been yours exclusively for the past year."

"What?"

He blushed slightly. "I...well I've wanted to be with you since my marriage fell apart, but I didn't want you to think you were some kind of rebound, so I kept myself professional. It's gotten harder and harder to do and then seeing you dating someone who treated you so terribly knowing full-well I would die for you made it nearly impossible."

"I didn't know," you whispered.

"I went to great lengths to make sure of that," Nick said softly. "But now that I have you? Now that I know what it's like to touch you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you? Baby, I can't walk away. You're stuck with me."

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, straddling his strong body. You leaned down to kiss him softly, pouring all of your emotion into the kiss. "There's no one I'd rather be stuck with, Nick Amaro," you whispered against his lips.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around you, kissing you with as much passion as he could muster. He was determined to spend every minute of the rest of his life making sure you knew how incredible you were, how much he appreciated you, and how madly in love with you he would always be.

[bittergirlsworld]

I finally gave up and saw TVD to understand some stuff in TO, and I just have to say: what an awfully written show. My goodness, how the hell is the most annoying girl in Mystic Falls the anchor who holds them together? Caroline, the fandom darling has no personality whatsoever. She's a camaleon, she's what they need her to be in the episode. Sometimes, she's the greatest soul alive, sometimes she's only there to slutshame another girl for doing exactly what she does. Sometimes she's pinning after her boyfriend, sometimes she backstabs him. Sometimes she's so repulsed by the 1000 year murder who bribes her with fancy things and sometimes she's okay to use the hell out of him to have what she needs. Elena, who's supposed to be the protagonist, becomes more and more the love interest to Damon. His love for her, that both recognize as toxic, comes from a sire bond and everyone insists to pretend that she loves him just the same without it as if she wasn't heavily projecting Stefan on him to the point he calls her out. The Originals, who were supposed to be invicible, the most insane of them just dies for a teenage hunter. Finn, the most sane one, portrait as a bore because he resented the bother who kept him in a coffin for thousands of years. Katherine, who I swear is one of the only two female characters really interesting in this show, is called a bitch all the time for the unforgivable crime of running from a psycho hybrid who wanted to slaughter her and then slaughtered her fucking family. Elijah and Rebekah does not exist outside of Klaus. Rebekah was just extremely annoying till they gave her a real personality and in the spin-off. Out of nowhere, she was obsessed with being human. Bonnie, poor Bonnie. The racism was blatantly showing. She was only there to be the magic negro trope. They didn't even allowed her to have romantic storyline! Her boyfriend who she resurrected cheats on her with a freaking ghost and she still back with him in season 5? She deserved so much better. Damon turns her mother in a vampire and then she's his best friend? She loses her entire family as well and is never treated with the same courtesy Elena has been treated. Not even the fancy balls she could attend, apparently. (Her wigs were also terrible. Poor Kat, they made her appear so old sometimes with those hairs).

And the romantic pairings? Awful. Damon and Elena were downright disgusting. He raped Caroline. Why everyone pretends he wasn't compelling her while having sex with her? Why all these centuries old man are so obsessed with fuck teenagers? How's that's romantic, date a girl on high school when you had two shares of a lifetime? Even if we take in consideration the lore that vampires stop aging when they're turned, the only couple who would make sense in this logic were Stefan and Elena, since Stefan was a teenager when turned. Klaus and Caroline had no romantic connection. She used him dry, he bite her to die to make a point to her boyfriend. He would be her last love but fucked her and left. She hated him but would happily accept his gifts while treating him like a dog. Damon and Elena loudly assume to each other that they are terrible together but then forget because they're fucking again. I swear to god, that relationship was pure based on their sex drive. She wanted that old dick so bad she blamed dead Katherine for the fact he killed her friend and threatened her brother.

The timeline made no sense. Plotholes all around. Why Bonnie couldn't make magic while being the anchor? Must be because she would be too powerful, and with Elena being so useless, they couldn't allow that. Caroline is another one completely useless for the plot. She could disappear from the show and wouldn't change a single thing.

It's really awful. After finally seeing this I can say with conviction that The Originals was the best they could have.

[lo-shouldve-been-an-email]

Why hello there.

Listen,I don’t have much to say about the newest LO episode so here’s an ares ranking to go along with the other ones.

Spoilers.

Percy Jackson:

6/10

Look,Ares is a really weird figure when it comes to how the media presents him.

Almost always they present him as this sexist frat boy when in mythology he is:

A reported protector of mistreated woman.

The patron god of the amazons and was worshipped to the point that their leader had 2 babies with him.

Scored the GODDESS PF LOVE AND BEAUTY and there is no way you cannot convince me she doesn’t have some pretty high standards(even though apparently you can convince most of the writers on this list)

And as much as I love Percy Jackson,it is not devoid of crimes.

In the first book,he helps Luke/Kronos steal Zeus’ master bolt and Hades’ helm of invisibility as to start a civil war within the gods.id say this is a pretty good portrayal overall.

…until we get to the second book.

This myth will be very important so long story short:a daughter of ares got r*** by a son of Poseidon so Ares,like any reasonable and bloodthirsty god of war,fucking killed him.

After this,he got put on trial for murder as if he wasn’t the literal god of bloody war,and all the ladies vouched for him so he got set free.

Let’s just say,Rick Riordan didn’t know of this myth.

In the second book,there’s a scene where Clarisse La Rue,a DAUGHTER of ares talks to him through a magic mirror.

There,he threatens her and says he should have sent one of his sons on the quest.and keep in mind she is his FAVORITE DAUGHTER.

So yeah.

I don’t really like this portrayal but he gets points for bringing Clarisse and (technically)Frank into this world since I like them both.also the fact that Percy could tell he had beef with him even without having any other memory.

Lore Olympus:

1/10

FUCK THIS GUY

Remember when I said that modern Ares was more often than not a sexist frat boy?we’ll add “predator” and “Reddit nice guy” to that list because RS can’t write.

If in Percy Jackson Aphrodite had terrible standards here said standards are so much worse.

He spends MONTHS trying to seduce a 19-YEAR-OLD and then tries to marry her without her consent.

Also,sir,YOU HAVE THE GODDESS OF LOVE AND BEAUTY FULLY AT YOUR DISPOSAL AND YOURE PICKING A GURL WHO DOESNT EVEN KNOW HIW TO USE A COMPUTER????

Great.this guy is a predator,Reddit nice guy,AND stupid.

I remember saying that the only character who could get a lowers rating than LO Persephone being LO hades and then I remembered this fuck existed.

Fuck him.

Hades:

10/10

Your know when you see something and then immediately want to wash your eyes with soap?this is my soap.

He is my third favorite Olympian in the game,coming third to Hermes and Artemis.

So here’s a few reasons why I like him:

Doom anything with impending doom and the increasing doom damage boon does absurd amounts of damage.

Curse of nausea is one of the best duos in the game.

He respects woman.(oh look they finally Aphrodite standards)

His quest is stupidly easy and he was the first Olympian who’s bond I maxed out.

I know this joke has been made so many times but.he really is a Chthonic simp.

He doesn’t get too pissed if you don’t pick him is trial of gods.hes just here for the bloodshed.

It may be just the fact that almost every other interpretation of ares is bad,but I really like him.

Also Aphrodite wearing his face paint in hades 2-

OSP:

7/10

He’s cool.

I really don’t have much else to add except the helmet stays on during sex.

Gods school:

5/10

Welp Back to the incels-

Him straight up telling Aphrodite that he can do whatever he wants because she won’t leave is just.why.

I don’t get why people go to this myth,turn it around,and act as if they’ve done a service by making Ares miserable when in the myths it was already a good ending.

What is with the obsession with making ares a toxic ex boyfriend when in the myths him and ‘dite were literally love and war.

Another issue I have with gods school is the fact they made Aphrodite a Karen Smith when in the myths shes a Regina George but that’s a problem for the Aphrodite ranking.

Also I just realized the Aphrodite Hephaestus ares myth is the og “I fell in love with a bad boy story”-

Epic:the musical:

8/10

I don’t have a physical picture of him but I already like him.

The only time he he appears is during a bit of an unfinished song but he does bring up some pretty good points,like the Scylla thing.

Also the fact Athena didn’t directly refute any of his points but instead persuaded him with the fact that the moment Ody gets home the suitors are going to be fucked is surprisingly great.

Also can I just say how absolutely hyped I am for god games?Aphrodite’s part fucking rocks and I’m excited for Apollo and Hephaestus.

Also here’s my ranking for epic Hermes since I wasn’t part of the fandom back then:

10/10

*insert dolphin laugh here*

[hueningsloverr]

౨ৎ favorite crime !

HIGHSCHOOL AU - toxic!hueningkai x reader x jake summary: huening kai was never on any high school girls list for dating, yet somehow he crept onto yours. and as quickly as he came into your life, he was able to ruin it even faster. that's where jake stepped in. word count: 1.0k extra: kai is super toxic in this, as it's inspired by olivia rodrigo's song 'favorite crime', please don't let anyone treat you the way he does !!

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

meeting kai was never the plan. getting to know kai was never the plan. falling in love with kai was never the plan. falling out of love, surprisingly, was the plan.

high school was rough - everyone knew that. people were terrible to each other, rumours and lies ruined lives. you watched time and time again as stupid dating rumours sprung up, and the girls always got in trouble. friends who became outcasts, party-goers who started staying home more often - even the popular girls fell from their pedestals.

but then there was you.

you, who didn't go out to many parties, why would you? there was no need to. you, who stayed out of trouble in every way you could imagine. there was no point in getting in trouble when now while preparing for college (i mean, what is college for if not for getting in trouble?). you, who never got involved with the petty drama of teenage girls thinking everyone wants their 5'6 benchwarmer of a boyfriend. you.

and there was kai, one of the few boys most girls didn't pay much attention to. he was tall, sure, and he had his moments where he was extremely good looking. but he was a recluse. if it was rare to see you at parties, it was even rarer to see kai. even the idea of seeing kai in public was an anomaly - who would think that? he was sweet, sure, and his friends were total players, but he was just kai at the end of the day.

maybe that's what drew you to him. how hard he was to talk to, so different from those he hung around. yet your mother always did tell you there's always a bit of you friends in you, or else you wouldn't have any reason to hang out.

you should've seen it coming from a mile away, really you were quite stupid for ignoring all the signs. they screamed in your face, yet you acted like you spoke a foreign language. as if that was any excuse.

'i'm thinking of going out tonight, jaeyun and jongseong invited haewon and i, and it's been a while since i've been out' you hummed absentmindedly, back towards your boyfriend as you rummaged through your closet.

kai perked up at your words, scoffing, 'really? jay and jake's party? you know those are parties trashy girls go to. is that what you are? and you really call them jongseong and jaeyun - disgusting.'

he was like a bully, his words so carefully planned that you had no defense.

'it would only be for a bit,' you muttered, turning now to face him. he looked so nonchalant, laying on your bed, scrolling through his phone. 'and hae was complaining she doesn't see enough of me, especially now that i'm with you.'

kai let out a short laugh, rolling his eyes. 'well she's not your boyfriend, i am. and you really want to go to one of jay's parties instead of hang out with me? where's your loyalty lie?'

'with you, kai.' you sighed, closing your closet and moving to sit down next to him on your bed. he smiled softly at you, returning to that same kai you first all those months ago.

the worst part to you was that it took months of his cruel remarks, his digs that you tried to play off but never really could. every time kai would let the venom seep out, it felt like it was washing away a piece of you. bits and pieces slowly dissolving into nothing as he stood there, smiling so softly at you as if nothing was happening. but you realised, and that's what matters - right?

"we should break up." you mumbled, not able to look him in the eyes.

it would only break your heart if you did.

you still loved him, truly you did.

it was hard not to when he could be oh so sweet most of the time.

it was only after hanging out with his friends that he became the monster you began to know him as - the monster that was slowly swallowing the old kai whole.

he saw his friends too much, and no matter how many times you told him to just stop, he couldn't.

kai laughed in response, cocking an eyebrow as he stared down at you. "you think so?" he mused, clearly enjoying the sight before him. "you're nothing without me. but hey, if that's what you want, i'm all for it."

you nodded stiffly, turning and walking away from the scene as people began to stare, and kai began to yell. you did your best to block him out, truly you did.

what didn't help, though, were the prying eyes.

the whispering as you made your way down the halls, unable to even look as you accidentally hit someone a little too hard with your shoulder.

jaeyun.

"(y/n)?" he questioned, placing a hand on your shoulder as he looked you over.

you looked scared to death.

'context clues, jaeyun' you screamed in your mind, eyebrows furrowed as you heard kai's yelling get louder.

he heard them, too, as his eyes widened slightly before a smile broke across his face. "i'll assume you broke up with huening, no?" he laughed, taking off his letterman jacket and placing it gently around you. "and i'll take silence as a yes for all my future questions."

you nodded, finally able to look up at him.

your eyes practically screamed 'get me out of here' as kai grew closer and closer.

you could hear his laughs now - see his blonde hair over the crowd of students, and truly feel the fear coursing through your body.

jaeyun, however, looked the opposite of scared.

sure, kai was both older and taller, but at the end of the day he was just kai.

jaeyun was 5’9, and somehow varsity captain for each sport he played - though he was co-captains with hoon for hockey, which he didn’t like talking about.

he was everything kai was not, and more.

maybe that's why kai didn't like you hanging out with him.

and maybe that's why when kai finally saw you, and who you were with, his smile faltered and he slowed down slightly.

sim jaeyun was not someone you willingly messed with.

yet, when kai saw the two of you standing there, all he could think of was starting a fight.

authors note : what is this? idk!!

©2023 — all rights reserved to hueningsloverr , please do not plagiarise or translate any of my work

[luuxxart]

So this is the anon who just finished the comic and does like hitoshi x akechi and after you mentioned it in the tags I just cannot stop thinking about Akira x hitoshi x akechi it seems so so silly. I feel like they all simultaneously balance eachother out while being terrible influences.

I would love to hear more of your thoughts on it if you'd like to share (I have more myself but I dont wanna ramble in your inbox dt6tudtud)

toxic trio real and true…,,,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS OMLLLLLLLLLL PLEASEEEEE RAMBLE IN MY INBOX🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

like!!!! This makes me so happy u have no idea,,,,,

anyway,,,, if u are interested ,,, here

are my thoughts……….

too many cooks! too many cooks!

akechi definitely plays them against each other (ex. “Akira won’t do [x] for me 🥺 but will you…?” “Hitoshi told me no about [x] but… I know you would…”)

what is in it for Akira and Hitoshi? welp. Not much. Mostly Akechi. It’s like they’re positive hydrogens. and Akechi is a very negative oxygen in the middle

but Hitoshi is still definitely a pushover and would do anything Akira asked him to. and honestly ??? he’s probably pretty into the crimes Akira has him do. It gives him an outlet to vent his frustrations

Akira never asks Hitoshi to be his fall guy or look the other way when he’s stealing something. No no no. he wants that man in on the action. Live a little.

I think they would actually be like synchronized swimmers in the kitchen. Hitoshi despises how well Akira is able to prepare fish, but hey. Someone’s gotta do it and it’s not gonna be Hitoshi, so. They cover each others weaknesses in the kitchen.

Akira is also a really good listener and lockbox, so Hitoshi probably traumadumps on him often. It’s a comfort Hitoshi didn’t think he needed, but he probably ends up either falling asleep in Akira’s arms by the end of it all or saying some dumb shit before leaving like “I think I was born to meet you” that takes Akira’s breath away

Akira ends up spooning with Hitoshi a lot and having so much tall boyfriend to sprawl out on is a fucking dream.

For fear of Akira and Hitoshi leaving him for each other, Akechi probably wedges himself between them as often as possible.

But in the end they somehow… manage to make the discordance work a little bit……

idk I think it would end with Hitoshi having to leave both of them for the good of his own mental health unless they make it to the end of graduation, at which point, Hitoshi becomes well-loved long distance boyfriend for epilogue reasons while Akira and Akechi stay in Inaba for epilogue reasons.

Generally though,,,, I think it’s just not . Something that would come together . Like…Ever

[rayday-mayday]

Andy and Leyley antis are funny because seriously, Andy and leyley are objectively, unquestionably terrible people who've done many awful things yet incest is the worst and their other toxic qualities somehow pale in comparison?? that's what they used as justification for attacking the creator and not the cannibalism, murdder, etc??

🤣

Yeah, it's odd. What's even more odd is I've seen darkfic VN fans like VNs like Your Boyfriend, Br0ken Colors, Mushroom Oasis, etc, but bash on TCOAAL in the same breath. (I have a specific TikTok in mind while mentioning this, actually.)

If you know anything about the mentioned VNs above, a good chunk of them include things like murder, stalking, kidnapping, rape, and more. Or at least will once the full VNs are out.

Knowing how I was back in my half-puritan days where I was borderline an anti (as in I was against themes of incest- but okay with rape scenes in my fiction,) I'm fairly certain those types of mentalities comes down to a mix of: - Not understanding what makes kink and taboo fiction normal and healthy, - Not understanding why people are into the kinks and taboo fiction/themes they're into, - Misunderstanding why certain things are actually taboo and harmful, - And/or conflating feelings of disgust and/or what is legal with morality.

Violence is depressingly normalized, too, while anything to do with sex is shamed or demonized in most case, as absurd as that is. As a result sexual crimes are often seen as non-comparable and/or way worse than (purely) violent crimes, even if it's all abuse/harmful/crimes at the end of the day.

[aobahsai]

MAROON

Series Masterlist

Your life changed completely, very quickly. First you received the terrible news of your brother's suicide. You couldn't heal the wound to your soul and you fell into depression. Then the absence of the breadwinner began to be felt. After your financial and psychological collapse, you had to get out of the big darkness that swallowed you. You had no other choice, not only for yourself but also for your mother. You had to quit school and start a job. You started working in the most famous club in Roppongi. You feel like everything is getting complicated from the moment you start working in a place ruled by Bonten and your ex-boyfriend starts showing interest in you again.

pairings: ran haitani x fem!reader(main), hanma shuji x fem!reader(ex relationship)

genre: angst, slow burn, toxic ex relationship, crime, boss/employee relationship, fluff, smut, bonten era (with some differences)

character ages: mc (22), hanma (24), ran (26)

PARTS

part i (edited)

[okaywolf]

a lil dialogue snippet that didn't make it into Mob boss who promises to throw you in deep enough next time.

Gauss: Since you’re washing the sheets anyways Neph: You fucking asshole

[dearmahiru-archive]

— together in death; dearmahiru's shinjū theory

tw: this post revolves around the discussion of group suicide and a toxic relationship

Before I Love You had released, I proposed Mahiru attempted to commit a lover's suicide with her boyfriend. It's hopelessly outdated (and terribly formatted) but, given we've recieved many confirmations about Mahiru's story, I wanted to try rewriting the theory with the new information. For reference here is the old post.

Yamanaka: ❝ When we designed the characters and their sins, we tried to design them in a way that is open for interpretation depending on how each viewer feels, and encourage differences in opinions. For example, some sins may be legally wrong, or something that you can’t forgive emotionally, and some may be interpreted differently due to cultural differences and different upbringings. So we encourage people from all walks of life to participate, to increase the diversity and depth in the results. ❞

Understandably, this post will paint Mahiru in an overtly sympathetic light given my bias towards her. However, I'm disinterested in rehashing the same "Mahiru is a bad person" points when everyone is aware of her flaws. I acknowledge proposing this theory would seem like an attempt to absolve Mahiru of guilt but that's not my intention. Like every character, Mahiru is morally gray and whether the audience finds her forgivable is up to them.

So, without further ado, let's begin.

01. Setting The Scene

This particular scene in I Love You is extremely important: namely, it's the location of her victim's death.

If we look at Mahiru's incarnation records, her victim died in Aokigahara, Japan's infamous suicide forest. This makes sense given he had died by hanging.

At least since the 1960s, Aokigahara has become associated with suicide, eventually becoming known in English by the nickname "Suicide Forest" and gaining a reputation as one of the world's most-used suicide sites.

Adding onto this, we know Mahiru went with her boyfriend to Aokigahara. First, ofcourse, the two are seen walking through a literal forest. Second, in Mahiru's Undercover memories, the sleeves perfectly align with the clothes Mahiru and her boyfriend wear. There's no other day where these sleeves align—trust me, I checked.

Q. Can you drive a car? Mahiru: "I have a drivers license. But I'm only a 'paper driver.'"

A paper driver is someone who's license is only 'paper' because they don't use it. Aokigara is a two-hour drive away from Tokyo which is where Mahiru lives. If she doesn't drive then this might mean it was her boyfriend who drove them to Aokigahara.

So to recap, Mahiru and her boyfriend went to a suicide forest together. This does beg the question though: why did Mahiru come along? If she knew her boyfriend was suicidal then wouldn't she try consoling him? Unless, ofcourse, Mahiru also wanted to die.

02. Love Is Mine

When you peek into Mahiru's symbolism you'll notice one reoccurring theme: clinging onto someone until you both suffocate.

Beginning with this shot of Mahiru and her victim, she's depicted as the literal noose tied around her boyfriend's neck. However, as many have noted, it can also be interpreted as her comforting him. As opposed Haruka who's straddling ontop of his victim, Mahiru's boyfriend is laying on her lap while she gazes into his eyes. Although violent, it's a distinctly intimate scene.

Personally, I'm partial to the name theory which suggests each prisoner's name reflects something about their crime. I noted the meaning behind Mahiru's name here but I'll regurgitate it. Mahiru's name means "Midday" which fits along her description:

A prisoner who is like the sun, always chatting and laughing.

So, with the theory in mind, Mahiru's crime relates to her eternal sunny presence.

Along with this, each prisoner has the kanji for "wood" in their name and removing that kanji reflects an aspect of their crime. (For instance, Haruka (嬰) would be "baby" or "necklace" and Yuno (堅) would be "strong" or "resolute" like her real personality).

With out the wood kanji, Mahiru's name is 隹 which means means "bird," obviously relating to how Mahiru and her boyfriend are both bluebirds suffocating within their small birdcage. Their relationship was doomed from the beginning—as bluebirds are wild animals and therefore cannot survive in cages. It was inevitable one of them would've become stressed out and died. Put a pin in the birdcage symbolism since we'll came back to that.

Moving on, in her first voice drama, Mahiru reveals how her victim died:

Es: "I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?" Mahiru: "You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!" Es: [pauses] Mahiru: "I just… I was… just being myself."

(honestly really frustrating how people still theorize mahiru/her boyfriend cheated when she expressed multiple times that wasn't the case. all of the victims apart from kotoko's were innocent people and mahiru "loving my bf is my defining personality trait" shiina isn't about to tap someone's elses ass. if anything this is a demonstration she was only stressed out about her partner leaving her but whatever i digress)

And then later on these exchanges happen:

Es: It was your love which killed someone, right? Despite that, will you still try to love another person?  Mahiru: [thinks] Actually, I was hoping you could tell me the answer to that, prison guard… If what I did was unforgivable.

Mahiru: Ah, this isn’t good. Be careful, okay? Um… Um… If you’re that kind to me, you could die as well. Just—kidding?  

So already, this theme of suffocation has been reinforced multiple times. Mahiru goes with her boyfriend to a suicide forest, she locks hands with him, she's symbolised as a noose hanging him, she's stuck in a birdcage with him, and it's her sunny disposition, her love for him which kills him.

Which forms the foundation for this theory: following her theme of clinging until suffocation, Mahiru tried to die alongside her boyfriend to forever stay with him.

Q. What is the ultimate form of Love?Mahiru: Being always together

Mahiru: My first shrine visit of the year was together with him. Obviously I know what I want to wish for. Please let us stay together like this forever. Please don’t let anyone else get in our way

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together! [Mahiru is outright singing, "Lets stay close together for so long we could die from the warmth.]

If you don't hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart [Otherwise, "If you don't hold me close then I won't feel loved by you."

Mahiru: "Ehehe...I love, love, LOVE YOU!! Don't ever let me go, ok!"

The happiness we tightly bound up and suffocated, is no longer here

Which leads us to our third point: oh goodness Mahiru's relationship was a hot mess.

03. Love Is (Un)Dead

Okay, so we've established a lot but there's one thing missing: Is Mahiru herself suicidal?

Mahiru: It’s because I've… decided that I’m going to live for the sake of love

Mahiru: Hmm. If you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done, then there’s no point in living—to be honest. [laughs] 

Mahiru: Being in love is… If there was no such thing as love, then my life would be so bland. So, if you say that I won’t be allowed it anymore, then there’s no point in me living. 

An extremely unfortunate yes! Similar to how Shidou wishes to die because of his love, Mahiru only lives for the sake of love. (Infact, coasting off this shinju theory, I'd even say that both Shidou and Mahiru wanted to die for the sake of meeting their loved ones again.)

One specific detail I'd like to highlight are Mahiru's shoes.

In Japan there is a custom for people to take off their shoes before entering their homes, as to not track dirt into their houses. As a result of this line of thinking there is also a custom where people take off their shoes before they enter the afterlife as not to track dirt and such into their ethereal destination. Abandoned pairs of shoes in Japanese media have become symbolic of suicides, and they are also common in non-Japanese media.

This specific symbolism is seen an additional time with Mahiru and Kazui's victims in Undercover and Mu in It's Not My Fault, both of which are related to suicide.

In Mahiru first MV, there's always a shot where we can explicitly see her shoes. They're on in the beginning, off when she confesses to her boyfriend and they begin dating, and on again after something happened to her boyfriend.

I believe this may represent she was suicidal during the relationship. Apart from this, there's lots of little details which paint the picture she was unhappy with her life and dating her boyfriend.

When being interviewed, she tends to talk a lot, and she seems to have developed some special feelings for the prison guard, and sometimes also shows a lonely, vacant expression in contrast to her normally bright and cheerful self. [These "special feelings" for Es aren't necessarily romantic. Atleast, it's "love" in the same way Mahiru thinks of a murder prison as a romantic getaway. It's moreso developes a connection with Es because they uniquely give her attention and she finds their hardwork admirable. She finds them kind and, "if youre kind to me I'm going to start relying on you, thanks!"]

"Hello! I’m Shiina Mahiru, 22 years old! I may be incompetent, but it’s a pleasure meeting you!"

Mahiru: Right…… so you too, Mu-chan…Hmm, I guess it’s because of the environment here. Sometimes your mental state has an impact. Mu: …You’re the same, then? …that it’s gone…… Mahiru: …it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine. This sort of thing happens all the time~

I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness I can't stop feeling like there's something missing

We can both feel lonely sometimes, but wonder if you'll get angry soon

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad

This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love Wanting to know everything about you, but wanting to die because it can't come true It's all because of love

Don’t lose focus even when exercising! The pastel tones mean not only do you look ready to go but also give off a cute oneesan appeal. Even for a rougher style of dress you can’t be careless! Painted toenails and a necklace show some attention to detail to make for a sexy casual style. Just because it’s outdoors doesn’t mean you can relax too much! Even when picking out a date outfit to protect you from the cold, you still want to protect that loveable silhouette.

Most damning of all I'll say is Mahiru's parasite cover. The song tells a story about a scorned girlfriend who was used for sex and seeks alcohol in order to deal with her lingering feelings for ex-boyfriend. At one point Miku throws a bouquet back mirroring Mahiru's desire for a wedding.

(hmm funny how the "mahiru is a yandere because she covered psychogram" crowd was silent about this cover i wonder whyyyy)

Why can’t you understand? I hate you! Never touch me again

Wait a second, when did things start going wrong? I loved the bad parts too, everything was fine

It’s even worse when you are nice to me, But I don’t want to be given the cold shoulder [Most of all, Mahiru desires attention from her boyfriend. In her T1 MV she mentions how he "not the brightest so he never notices that I go to the beautician." This is a likely a blow to her self confidence given the heavy emphasis she has on appearing pretty. Sporadically across the magazines there's lines about "not slacking off" in public because people are always watching.]

Hey, give me back the time I used loving you, You liar. But I still love you

Hey, please don’t leave me behind, Hey, I’m hungry [This line always makes me so sad. In Mahiru's cover there's a beep to imply she's leaving this as a voice-mail for her boyfriend. Once again fulfilling our "stay with me always" clinging symbolism quota.]

Pretend not to see spitting out saliva, You're going to throw me away as incombustible waste

It’s just a bunch of “why”, I can’t change, I want to…I don’t want to leave

Hey, I want you to let me hug you at the last moment, thank you. And now, you are too (a parasite)

It's the last line I'd like to highlight because, all in one song, we've reinforced Mahiru's happiness in the relationship and the clinging symbolism. Mahiru and her boyfriend were both parasites who's clung onto eachother and deprived eachother of nutrients. Both of you suck!!

Then there's Mahiru's two symbolic locations: the birdcage and the carousel. Both of Mahiru's mindscapes places her in the same location: her home, as evident by the couches with pillows.

Personally, I subscribe to the idea the Day 16's house belong to Mahiru or it's a shared home with her boyfriend. If the poor financial situation theory is correct then the two might've decided to live together to cut costs (or Mahiru pressured him into agreeing). Her boyfriend works at a convenience store so he's probably not as financially well-off as Mahiru who recieves an allowance.

However, on a subconscious level, Mahiru thinks of her their home as a birdcage. As stated before, bluebirds can't survive in birdcages, and this is represented by her boyfriend's feathers falling from stress. Something interesting I'd like to note is that Mahiru considers leaving the birdcage but instead decides to dive back into the feathers, causing her boyfriend even more stress. Say with me: clinging 👏 until 👏 you 👏 suffocate 👏 imagery.

"Hmm... I’m a little troubled that I can’t go home, but... It’s fine, I guess. Even if I go home, there’s nothing left... And, I find it fun talking to you!"

Then, after her boyfriend's death, she thinks of their home as a carousel ride. The ledge at the beginning of the MV implies that—rather than an expansive space like Mu's beehive—the carousel is a small space. It's only Mahiru, the couch, the carousel, and a dead corspe. All she's able to do is fall asleep or ride the carousel again by herself, knowing she'll have to get off at some point. It's once again that imagery of something which is cramped and suffocating.

Both of her mindscapes cut them off from the outside world. Within her own mind all that matters is simply her and her boyfriend.

04. The Only You Can('t) Leave

Finally, I'd like to note something which has been sitting on my mind: Mahiru's themes of destiny and rebirth.

Q. What do you think happens when people die? Mahiru: They go to heaven!

Lovers committing double suicide believed that they would be united again in heaven, a view supported by feudal teaching in Edo period Japan, which taught that the bond between two lovers is continued into the next world, and by the teaching of Pure Land Buddhism wherein it is believed that through double suicide, one can approach rebirth in the Pure Land.

(big credit to doctorbunny's and archivalofsins's work on the this is how to be inlove with you locations for pointing this out! ily2 please check them out)

On Day 8, Mahiru goes with her boyfriend to go see "Your Name." Take this with a grain salt because I haven't see the actual movie— I refuse to watch a Makoto Shinkai film until he's allowed to write yuri—but the general gist is that two teenagers from 2013 and 2016 end up swapping bodies. Later, it's revealed that Mitsuha, the main heroine, is fated to die from a comet hitting the earth in the future. Fortunately, through time shenanigans, her fate ends up being altered and both teens end up surviving.

A romance movie featuring a dead lover and a mid relationship? Why, it's perfect for Mahiru!

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. This myth is similar to the Western concept of soulmate or a destined partner.

Okay, okay, jokes aside that's not the sole reason I'm bringing up Your Name. Ofcourse, what's most interesting is it's theme of soulmates and how it relates to Mahiru.

Mahiru: Yeah. – Him and I… we loved each other. Properly as boyfriend and girlfriend. We met in college… It was the first time for me, so I don’t know if it was good or not, but… I think we were just normally going out together. I thought it was fate. He said it was, too.

Q. How did you meet your lover? Mahiru: We met eyes at the university terrace. I really felt like it was fate.

On the terrace at university, when I met eyes with that person I knew it must be fate. I might have been born purely so I could one day end up together with him. Or not, am I just overthinking things?

I ran into the person I’m interested in at the bread shop. This has to be fate, right? In the end I ended up buying the same bread as he got, but maybe I don’t need this much… > < I wasn’t thinking about the calories.

We went to one of the filming locations for a movie we both like! This sort of thing can only happen in Tokyo huh! It really must be fate that even our taste in movies lines up. I feel like a totally different person to before I met him… [Once again the movie she's talking about Your Name which is one of the highest grossing anime films of all times... bestie... ily but your rose colored glasses are blinding!!!]

Namely, once again, we're reinforcing the theme of clinging together until you suffocate. Two soulmates forced into loving eachother by the hands of fate. It's a very romantic idea twisted into something heart-wrenching.

The idea of "saving your lover from death" is briefly reflected Day 8 where Mahiru gives her boyfriend a hangover cure from called Corspe Reviver. A bit on the nose, don't you think?

This sections dawdles a little bit from the whole Shinju Theory but it felt off if I didn't include it. Given Shidou's entire character revolves around killing in order to save his loved ones, I can almost imagine Mahiru's murder was to save her boyfriend as well. There's not much evidence but... it's certainly there, right?

05. Conclusion

Aha, this post kind of devolved from "heres my shinju theory" and moreso "wow, Mahiru has a lot of suffocation imagery" which is true. There's so much of it. I don't even think this is all of it!

Theres alot more I wanted to add but... I'm not good with writing long posts if you couldn't tell! If anyone would like to add onto this for me I'd be thrilled ❤️

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

The stans (The annoying and toxic ones) really need to learn that they can like and/or feel bad for villainous characters AND acknowledging that they did awful things. Hordak and Catra are often classified as “Sympathetic VILLAINS” for a reason. Their respective backstories are incredibly sad and I understand why they’re the way they are. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that they committed various crimes. They are victims, but are also victimizers. The “They not evil they misunderstooood uwu”-ification of them by the fanbase (And s5), especially Catra, (I see it done a lot less with Hordak), is detrimental to their appeal as characters

exactly. you can even relate to a character and still acknowledge that they were objectively terrible people. some of my favourite characters are villains but i don't try to defend them. i like them because they're either sympathetic or complex, but they're held responsible for their actions by the narrative.

catra had the potential to be a really intimidating and interesting villain, but spop had to go and woobify her for the sake of romance. same with hordak, to some extent. i would say though that hordak wasn't all that intimidating to begin with, so his switch from evil dictator lord to entrapta's awkward blushy boyfriend wasn't quite as jarring.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 1

Propaganda why Rachel Berry is insufferable:

"Literally the annoying theatre girl stereotype cranked up to the MAX. She's got that "takes everything too seriously, stick up her ass" thing that soooo many theatre kids have bit she's not just annoying she's a terrible person. She felt so threatened by a girl who wanted to join Glee being better than her that she sent her to a CRACK HOUSE for "auditions." She's like lowkey homophonic, transphobic, and racist too. "

"omg she acts so entitled and always gets what she wants even if others get put down and she NEVER PAYS FOR IT"

"Watched two episodes of glee. Two were enough. Everyone else was a bastard in at least a somewhat entertaining way but she singlehandedly ruined everything. If she went to my high school I'd probably bully her too and then she'd whine and throw a karen fit about how I'm literally just better than her. At least I don't need autotune lol."

"She constantly does weird and villainous stuff such as; sent someone to a crackhouse, accused a teacher of molestation coz she didn’t get a part in a musical, dropped out of glee club when she didn’t get a part, a black character (mercedes) asked if glee club could sing more songs by black artists and rachel said « it’s glee club, not krunk club », tried to hook up with a gay man who she also knew her best friend liked, cheated on finn with his best friend, also her bangs post s3 are a crime.

Despite all this she always acts like she’s hard done by and the victim, barely ever apologises or takes accountability for hurting people, and is treated like a sympathetic main character by the show. Not only is she insufferable, she’s a malicious manipulator glorified by the narrative"

Propaganda why Kyouya Sata is insufferable:

"what a disgusting character. this whole anime was a waste of time"

"If I was Erika, this man would be at the bottom of a well by the end of the series"

"Kyouya: two-faced and Toxic ass boyfriend that forces his girlfriend to act like a dog, doesn't care about consent, extremely jealous, his excuse for treating Erika the way that he does is literally "My parents got divorced and my dog died!1!1!1 🥺""

[faceless-es]

Mahiru Thoughts

So, before I wasn’t sure of what exactly happened to Mahiru’s victim, and what her crime was. But now having watched her vd, mv, and seeing question answers, I think I have a good, or at least better idea of what happened.

Mahiru was raised with strict parents (as she says in her answers), and went to an all girls school until university, it was there when she met her boyfriend and started her first relationship. To her, as someone who was inexperienced in relationships, and likely raised with toxic behaviors from her parents, nothing was wrong with their relationship. In her mind, everything was fine, lovely, and happy (as we see in the mv). He’d feed her “cake” and she’d do the same. The truth of the matter was that the relationship was not healthy for Mahiru or her boyfriend. When she fed him “cake” we see it was actually rats. When she offered him love, it wasn’t good for him, it wasn’t enough for him. We see them both in tattered clothes, looking beaten up and weary, showing how they both suffered due to their relationship, but in Mahiru’s mind all is well. She would be fine suffering since she believed that was a part of being in love.

“We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt

Let’s have matching pain, the sickness is pretty bad”

These lyrics are from her first mv. We can see that she views this, all the negativity, as being in love.

Mahiru clearly loved her boyfriend, and never intentionally tried to hurt him, she didn’t know that what she did was unhealthy. She gave him all her love, thinking it was like a lovely cake for him, when in reality it was not. It is also likely that her boyfriend was also not giving her the right love or care either, as we see him feed her “cake” too in the beginning of the mv, and rememember, everything is idealized in Mahiru’s mind. Just a thought.

In the end we see her boyfriend commit suicide. Mahiru seemed to think everything was fine, until this point. Now, after us not forgiving her I think she’s starting to see the reality of their relationship, as we see her 2nd mv is much less idealized than her 1st. I think her reality is starting to crack and she’s started to see beyond her idealized view of it.

I think it’s pretty clear, given Mahiru’s terrible physical and mental condition, and the fact that she didn’t know she was doing anything wrong or harmful, that she should be forgiven.

I believe Mahiru was raised with toxic and unhealthy love from her parents, and was sheltered, she loved someone the only way she knew how. Children do what they’re taught, and since she never learned anything else, she never saw it as wrong. I feel bad for Mahiru and all the suffering she’s going through. She needs therapy and to get out of Milgram.

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Some Dark Forest members that either are put there in the rewrite or little OCs (that aren't really important too often but the Dark Forest needs more than 10 cats come onnn)

Version 1.1: Lizardstripe is now a pretty different kitty and is no longer on this list, her ex Mudstep is here however, and Leopardstar's morality has finally been cemented.

Version 1.2: Clarified Batear and Fenneldust's crimes, as well as recreated Clear Sky's role as no longer self inflicted, but rather a punishment from his first victim.

Spiderclaw - Spottedleaf's killer instead of Clawface, Brokenstar's lackey.

Thornclaw - Supports the Dark Forest, dies during the Great Battle and banished upon death.

Mudstep (Lizardstripe's mate) - Though he had an okay relationship with Runningnose, and was proud to raise a Medicine Cat son, he was a terrible mate and poor excuse for a father, the cherry on top being his physical abuse of Brokenkit. Abuse of kittens and mates is not tolerated by Starclan.

Rabbitswoop - Riverclan Dark Forest Trainee, he takes one of Mistystar's lives before Hawkfrost kills him.

Milktail - Born during the Brokenstar era and hates her non-clan born adopted brother. She supports Tigerstar, Blackstar makes her deputy after her "I'm sooo sorry' act that actually is convincing. She and Mistfang (Tigerstar's surviving sister) try to kill Blackstar only to get stopped by her adoptive brother. She is a piece of the Blood Will Spill Blood Prophecy (which you can imagine drove her mad), along with Hawkfrost killing Mistfang.

Mistfang - Speaking of. Tigerclaw's dickhead sister. Her attitude stemmed not from 'being spoiled' or anything like that. But the fact that her brother was praised for his strength non-stop, which made this once sweetheart begin to act more like her brother, on a very dangerous path. She thinks her brother is perfect, and idolized him. She followed him to the Dark Forest after being killed by her own nephew.

Nestfur - Another Brokenstar lackey, killed by Mudclaw during the Battle Of Bloodclan.

Parsnipfang - Shinecloud's brother. Oakstar's brother-in-law, Birchface and Frecklewish's uncle. Tried to kill the leader and abused his mate to gain power, Oaksnap (Oakstar) killed him before he could kill the leader, becoming deputy after his death, but something feels... Familiar, about that scenario.

Ratscar - Dark Forest Trainee who kills (yes, KILLS) Blackstar with Redwillow's help (not that he'll let Redwillow have any credit), before Ferncloud beats him into paste.

Rotflower - Rainflower.

Leopardstar - Genuine Tiger Law supporter who tried to instill the mentality into Hawkfrost, and allowed Tigerclan to get out of control/endorsing it.

Onestar - Prison Sentence, but not for too long. Roughly 1 and a half moons.

Sol - After his death, he is banished here and he is PISSED about it, everyone picks on him, guy basically has a kick-me sign on his butt.

Frecklewish - HANG ON! Let me explain. She CHOSE to be in the Dark Forest, because she realizes what Thunderclan has done, and no one but Mapleshade was punishes for trying to give them justice. She can travel the border at will, but spends most of her time in the Dark Forest.

Batear - Fenneldust's boyfriend who helped cover up the murder and supplied the 'weapon', a Boar.

Fenneldust - Thunderclan cat who killed the Medicine cat that gave an omen that she would make a bad deputy. Gee, I wonder why?

Quick Water - Apologizing as you bleed out is not enough. She is one of the OLDEST spirits there, and is mostly uninvolved in things.

Oakstar - Only punished after a huge uproar Frecklewish started. But he seems to be missing. How odd...

One Eye - The OG Dark Forest King.

Star Flower - A genuine force of evil, like she should have always been. Dark Magic practices and trying to destroy the Clans leads to her getting trapped in the Dark Forest.

Clear Sky - Due to not being leader, his toxic influence is now seen by the spirits of Starclan. Bright Storm had the most perfect punishment for him. You wanna make borders? You can be one. To protect the cats of Starclan from the ones in the Dark Forest, Bright Storm and the other cats of Starclan sacrificed his spirit to become the fog border around the area, the fog choking and thick, just like his thick white fur. Now only appears as blue eyes in the shadows and a disembodied voice. His spirit has whittled away, now gaining holes in it. Not to mention the... things... rumored to be laying within the fog.

Gray Wing - The OG Curse Layer. His horrid enabling behavior has damned him, but he'll never see it that way. He technically still roams the earth, but he SHOULD be here. His hatred is toxic, and he plans to destroy the Stars of the Clans, starting with Riverclan....