#terblr

[lorynna]

Hi, radfem with a husband here. He exclusively does the dishes, cooks most of the time, does the laundry, he is empathetic and never yells at me, he’s a talented pianist and supports me financially, but I would never say he is not sexist. despite all his niceties and political correctness he still prioritizes men and their opinions over women every time. he only reads books by men, watches youtube videos by men, and he only listens to music videos by men. the worst part is, he didn’t even notice this until I pointed it out. five years ago I had to explain to him why daddy kinks are bad and you shouldn’t choke women during sex. I don’t pretend he’s not sexist, and it’s dangerous to pretend like there are men who aren’t. you just aren’t good enough at picking up on it.

Hello anon - appreciate your take!

If I may add my own thoughts:

Not only little girls but also little boys are socialized in a certain way that makes them more susceptible to be influenced by and not pick up on societal misogyny.

Misogyny in our society is rooted deeply, it runs rampant but at the same time it is extremely normalized. When you aren't someone that is directly affected by it or already sensitive to those signals - you might have an even harder time to realize what is going on. I just want to point out that even grown up women can have internalized misogyny.

It is important to consider that men lack the experience we have going through life as women and therefore they themselves are not faced with the same issues on the daily. We as women are, that makes us different from each other.

Also, the male is the standard in our society. There is more men than women in almost everything. It is much harder in my opinion to intentionally only support and consume female media, female music and only read female books. Seperating yourself from that completely must be done intentionally and by paying attention.

Before I was exposed to radfem theory - I had some internalized misogyny - without even realizing. Once I got into it, so many things have made sense and it was truly eye opening. It is difficult to question the status quo when you have never seen or dreamed of anything else, it seems impossible. As radfems, we know what we are talking about when we say that society is male centered and that male is the standard but we forget how in daily life no one even recognizes until it is pointed out. We forget how big of a realization that is because to us it now seems blatantly obvious and we are hyper sensitive to it.

I am not advocating for women to try and change men. If your opinion is not valued, leave. If your criticism is met with anger or ridicule, leave. If your vocal wish for betterment is not answered, leave. If your explanation of your pain leaves him cold, leave. If he is not something that makes your life easier and brighter, leave.

You shouldn't need to explain basic things to him, why doing X is bad and why he should be doing Y instead.

I am also not justifying men's misogyny. I point it out whenever I witness it and that's that and I leave whenever I feel I'm treated with a lack of respect. I don't sustain male friendships. I am het partnered and that's it.

Some radfems might say I am going too soft on men and that this post is defending men but truly, that's not my intention. I just remember how the time was for me, before discovering radical feminism and before the fog lifted in front of my eyes and I could see everything clearly for the first time. And I just imagine that if it was like this for me that I did never question the status quo and did not recognize my own opression for what it was because it was so normalized - it must be at least the same for men.

I judge those men by their willingness to listen and if they have an open mind.

I believe everything you said anon. And I agree that every man carries sexism and misogyny within them - similarly to many women, due to upbringing. It matters what you make out of it, if you are allowing yourself to think critically.

If we derive men of their possibility to change and get better, what are we fighting for? If "men will be men" how can we hold them accountable for their actions? If we are claiming that men are inherently evil and will always be sexist/misogynistic we don't have anything to hope for.

[corecore]

At a loss for words with this one

[xxactlyperfect]

TRAs are literally among the most violent, self-centered, biology-denying, misogynistic, and delusional people right now. And we are supposed to keep our mouths shut about it.

As a woman from a muslim family with a waziri pashtun father that prohibited me from appearing on windows, going out on the garden and going to male doctors even when I was on the verge of dying, hearing that trans women experience misogyny and cultural/religious oppression always makes me laugh.

[txrvaes]

it's like when dog's name is uterus and woman is uterus owner

Akjxksjxkcjdjxk this is too funny yeah literally we don't *own* it it's simply a part of our body...??? They don't do this to other organs it's always gentials and reproductive systems especially women's........ It's weird to describe it as some detachable object...... also YOU SHOULD POST IT ON UR BLOG SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN REBLOG FROM U!!!! I feel like i'm stealing this 😭😭😭😭

[eve-is-a-terf]

think how mad trans women would get if we treated trans day of remembrance the same as they treated international women's day, aka by taking over something that wasn't theirs and making everything about them. think how irrationally angry we would make them if every trans day post was filled with "but let's not forget cis women, the most oppressed women of all. don't forget x y and z problems that cis women face! remember not to leave your cis sisters behind this trans remembrance day :)"

[pixelatlon]

This post is directed at every terf ever.

You wouldn't have rights without trans women look what happened at stonewall, trans women of colour started the riots.

Edit: they didnt start the riots but were huge in them it was started by a drag queen sorry for the mistake

Edit 2: nvm was a trans woman who just used the term drag queen as the two were seen as the same at the tume

[lorynna]

does nobody here fucking know how SEXuality works.

homosexual = same sex attraction

heterosexual = opposite sex attraction

bisexual = both sex attraction

Take your sex and the sex of the person you feel attracted to into account (despite of how you might identify) and you shouldn't have any issues with finding out in which of the 3 categories you belong.

i find it really funny that im a girl now but whenever im into a guy i still think "fuuuuuuuuuck dude im fucking gayyyyyyyyyyyy" internally. like actually that's the completely expected response. not gay at all. or so i thought. as it turns out its still gay as fuck to be into dudes as a transgender woman

[andro-purpur]

anyways what should we call terraria tumblr? terrablr? terrariblr? terblr?

tbh they all sound like terrible but spelled wrong

[youre-my-worst-nightmare]

Words cannot describe how much I recommend this book

My father tried to get me to read this when I was going through my trans phase. I said to him I would rather die. Now that I’m finally coming out of it, I’ve decided to read it. And… wow.

[youre-my-worst-nightmare]

I remember when I was younger, I had two OCs. One had a crush on the other, but the other came out as trans to him. Since the first guy was gay, he immediately lost all romantic attraction to the second character, since they were a ‘woman’

Even at the time when I made these OCs, it never felt.. right. You’re just supposed to lose feelings for someone since they transition to a gender you’re not attracted to?

I always knew it made no sense. But I forced myself to go along with the ideology. So I have decided to change it to where the first character forced himself to have a crush on the second character, who is a biological woman. A real woman.

I know this seems minor, but these characters were in my peak ‘trans’ phase. So changing them like this is basically me giving a huge middle finger to this ideology. It’s important to me..

[youre-my-worst-nightmare]

Unpopular opinion? Perhaps. A woman can’t do everything a man can. AHHH! But before you raise your pitchforks, listen to this!

A man also can’t do everything a woman can.

Listen. A man and a woman can both work 9 to 5 jobs. A man and a woman can both be body builders. A man and a woman can both be stay at home parents. All of that is definitely true!

But men and women do have differences. Like, oh, I don’t know, genitalia and straight up biology?

Women usually are naturally more caring and men usually are naturally more assertive. (Please note the words usually) Does that mean they can’t be both? Of course not!

My mom is a very caring woman, but she’s also super assertive (and lowkey everyone is scared of her lol). But her caring side usually takes over. My dad is very assertive, but he’s also one of the most caring people I’ve met. But when it comes down to it, he is more assertive.

I feel like we should aim for the fact that men and women have their differences, that’s obvious. But we can still live together as equals.

As my grandpa put it, women make the world go round because men listen to their every beck and call.

(Well, he put it a little differently. A bit more.. crass.)

[lorynna]

empathy is apparently the worst thing a man can have according to the person above and "for the love of god" don't you ever go out of your way to relieve a woman's well reasoned fear if you have the capacities

You talk about street violence being more often comitted against men than women and that the violent crimes comitted against women were more often than not comitted by someone who is not a stranger.

But let me ask you - the people that DO commit those crimes, what sex are those?

Almost exclusively male.

My best friend is a man and he hates walking without me or in parking lots while other women are around because he knows they perceive him as a threat. So here are things he does:

1. If he notices he’s walking behind a lone woman he stops to tie his shoe or look at his phone. He waits for her to get further ahead before continuing.

2. He crosses the street if he can so there is a larger distance.

3. He calls me or his mom and makes it known he is talking to a female and not some guy.

It costs him a few minutes but he knows that he is causing women anxiety, so a few minutes are worth it.

[redditreceipts]

OH MY GOD I'M ALSO PART OF THE CLUB

What the fuck has she taken to go on this hatespree??

(makes me kinda proud tbh, this gives me terf euphoria)

for y'all

They say trans people are being genocided by terfs when we talk about biology meanwhile they send shit like this to us all the time. How sad can you be?

The trans demand activists at it again!

[lorynna]

TRAs like you argue that radfems are obsessed with "this and that" when you are using males and females with DSD as your personal shield wall of why sex cannot be binary. Then when radfems explain to you, why this is not biologically accurate, your only argument is to call us obsessed for responding to your ridiculous arguments.

Please allow me to ask why you would classify DSD as a "third sex", I am genuinly curious as to what your reasoning is for this statement and what research you hold that backs up this claim.

Radfems being obsessed with intersex people is so weird. “They’re all either male or female!!! It’s dehumanizing to say otherwise!” Being a third sex is not dehumanizing. It’s taking biological fact into account. Wtf about being a rare sex would be bad? 🤔 sounds like you have a problem with intersex people. Sounds like you should let them self identify. Seems like the only thing the dehumanizing about being intersex is when you’re medically abused by a binary sex system that thinks it must attempt to make you more male or female to fit their idea of what those categories are. Maybe read a book. I recommend starting with sexing the body by fausto anne sterling.