#telomers

[nova-stardragon]

A little bit of context for you all: I'm currently going for my bachelors in biotechnology.

Sometimes, I think about how the heck Fae are immortal. And yes, yes, I know the answer is simply 'magic,' and 'Nova stop overthinking it - it's a fun fantasy world,' but hear me out.

Disclaimer: It's also been a while since I've reviewed my DNA stuffs, and I'm a little rusty on telomers and the like so fellow biologists please feel free to (nicely) correct me in the comments if I mess something up!! Aka please tell me what I did wrong but don't yell at me lol - I know I defo made at least one mistake, I just don't know what it is yet

DNA naturally degrades with cell growth. Basically, every time the cell divides, the DNA gets shorter and shorter. In order to avoid loss of functionality (we don't want to lose important DNA), these things call telomeres exist on the ends of DNA. They're essentially like little spacers, and longer telomers are given to cells with a longer lifespan. Your skin cells for example, don't have long telomers, while your nerves do. There are also telomerases, which repair telomers.

Now at this point your probably like 'stop with the biology' but just keep bearing with me, I promise this is going somewhere.

All living things have DNA, right? So let's just assume, just for a moment, that Fae also have DNA, and not some sort of weird magical DNA equivalent. Fae having DNA would mean two things:

They are related to every living thing, so presumably, humans and Fae share some sort of mortal or immortal common ancestor. This means that either humans were once immortal and we lost it, or Fae were once mortal but gained longevity.

Fae's DNA, by the nature of DNA, would also degrade.

But Nova, couldn't the Fae telomers just be better and longer than our cells, so that's how they stay alive while maintaining the integrity of their genetic material? Well, yes, sort of. The only issue with that is that usually, telomers being maintained for large amounts of time is usually equivalent to cancer.

So essentially, what I want to know, is how do Fae maintain DNA through generations, or even through their lifespans? Wouldn't their cells simply eventually stop being able to produce the necessary proteins?

Okay, I'm done now. Thank you for coming to my chaos. If you read this far, you now are obligated to like the post or leave a comment out of sheer frustration (I don't make the rules - wait I kind of just did nvm).

Bye!!

[amplexadversary]

@roadsidebrambles we can save his life *and* get him pregnant it's a win-win!

[estherax]

Disco Elysium creative team VS Studio ZA/UM: the complete(?) timeline (updated on March 24th)

Recent news confused a lot of people, including me, so I made a timeline of events to understand the situation better! If you have any corrections, more info and sources feel free to reach out to me or add to this post!

Important parts are highlighted in orange, names and organizations to keep in mind are in italics, the newest corrections and updates are highlighted in green, other information elaborating on the situation is in (brackets).

October 1st, 2022. Martin Luiga puts out a Medium post announcing the dissolution of ZA/UM cultural association and confirming that Kurvitz, Hindpere, Rostov no longer work at ZA/UM studio "since the end of last year and their leaving the company was involuntary."

October 3rd 2022. Kotaku published an article, claiming "the studio hasn’t been transparent about what exactly happened with staff either." According to "two sources familiar with the situation, the studio’s internal announcement of Kurvitz’s departure late last year [2021] also contained a threat of possible legal action against him. Any split would have been made messier by Kurvitz and Rostov being shareholders in the studio, the sources said. It’s also clear ZA/UM has gone out of its way to try and keep the situation quiet. Kotaku reached out for an interview with Kurvitz in February [2022]. The studio declined on his behalf, but provided no indication the developer had already left the company." Kotaku also mentions a tweet from Martin Luiga announcing the dissolution of ZA/UM cultural association. One of Martin's tweets (further elaborating on the dissolution) was quote tweeted by user nob69691 with caption "the suits have killed disco", to which he responded with pictures of the game’s executive producers, Tõnis Haavel and Kaur Kender.

October 25th, 2022. Kotaku Australia reports Kurvitz’s company, Telomer, has filed an application against Studio ZA/UM to "obtain information and review documents." Court date is listed as November 28th, 2022.

Kotaku also reached out to Martin Luiga for a comment; when asked if the case’s purpose was to regain control of the Elysium IP, he responded, “What else could it possibly be?”

November 9th, 2022. Studio ZA/UM puts out a statement detailing the dismissed employees (unnamed) "had limited to no engagement in their responsibilities and work, created a toxic work environment, demonstrated misconduct towards other employees including verbal abuse and gender discrimination, and attempted to illegally sell ZA/UM's intellectual property".

In an Estonian newspaper, Estonian Ekspress, ZA/UM CEO Ilmar Kompus has further accused Kurvitz and shareholder Saandar Taal (Rostov's alias) of "humiliating colleagues and intending to steal IP" as well as "belittling women and co-workers."

Kompus added that their dismissal was demanded and carried out by Kaur Kender, executive producer on Disco Elysium and their direct manager at the time. Kender was placed on a leave of absence on medical grounds in late August according to Kompus.

Speaking to the Estonian Ekspress, Martin Luiga said he was "driven to drink by the unnatural work arrangement" at the studio. "The work was organised in such a way that the goal did not seem to be to make games, but rather to make people quarrel with each other."

(I am also adding anonymous claims, take them with a grain of salt)

One source that spoke to GamesIndustry.biz, who asked to remain anonymous, described the situation as "not black and white," and said that long-term staff were reluctant to speak out about Kurvitz’ behaviour because they respected him, and felt like they owed him for their positions. Sources that spoke to the Estonian Ekspress described a clash of two visions between the business team of ZA/UM led by Kompus, and the creative team formerly headed by Robert Kurvitz, which considered profit "secondary." This was corroborated by our sources, one of which described the situation as "CEO corporate scheming on one side, a toxic auteur on the other."

On the same day, Kurvitz and Rostov shared a Medium post explaining their side. Kurvitz and Rostov are minority shareholders in Studio ZA/UM, while "the majority of this company’s shares were initially held by Margus Linnamäe, who provided the initial capital. In 2021, Linnamäe was bought out by another minority shareholder," a company called Tütreke. They say this company "is a vehicle for two Estonian businessmen — Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel." Kurvitz and Rostov described Linnamäe as a trusted majority shareholder, but didn't share the same sentiment regarding Kompus and Haavel. "As soon as they became majority shareholders, we were quickly excluded from daily operations, our employment was terminated and our access to the company’s information was shut off. Our firing came weeks after we started asking for documents and financial data, which is still being kept from us. We have now learned that Tütreke OÜ must have obtained control over Zaum Studio OÜ by fraud. We believe the money used by Tütreke OÜ to buy the majority stake was taken illegally from Zaum Studio OÜ itself".

Studio ZA/UM denied any claims of fraud and insisted that dismissal of wokers "was a decision that had to be taken for the wellbeing of the collective."

Correction: Ilmar Kompus's statement came out first on Estonian Ekspress on November 8th 2022 21:06. His statement and Studio ZA/UM's statement given to GameIndustry.biz were reproduced and published in a GameIndustry.biz report on November 9th. Rostov and Kurvitz's Medium statement came out later on November 9th. GameIndustry.biz report added an excerpt from Medium on November 10th. (i used Wayback Machine to check this, the report was updated between 11:08 and 11:53)

November 9th 2022. Kotaku puts out an article, summarizing the above statments from Studio ZA/UM, Kompus, Kurvitz and Rostov. "When asked by Kotaku, a spokesperson for ZA/UM declined to elaborate beyond its original statement [about dismissal of employees over misconduct], including whether the allegations also applied to Rostov as well as Helen Hindpere."

23rd of November, 2022. PC Gamer reports a hearing was held in Harju County Court in October, where Kurvitz and Rostov argued that Kompus had allegedly sold four concept sketches (for Disco Elysium sequel), to Tütreke for just over €1 and then immediately bought them back for €4.8 million using Studio ZA/UM's money. This amount is what was apparently used to buy Linnamäe's large stake, and put it in the hands of Kompus. "Kompus allegedly hoped that ZA/UM and Disco Elysium could be resold quickly. [...] But there remained a problem: Robert Kurvitz is the creator of Disco Elysium, still owns a piece of it, and has the right to block any acquisition."

The latest legal battle was lodged by Kaur Kender, executive producer and marketing manager of the game, "who claimed in court that Kompus cheated him out of just under €1,000,000." At Kender's request, the court seized Kompus' stake in Studio ZA/UM to prevent a sale or transfer of holdings during the proceedings.

Haavel is also accused in the lawsuit of following Kompus' actions. The filing pointed out that the holder of the IP rights to Disco Elysium is a subsidiary called YESSIRNOSIR LTD, which is owned by ZA/UM UK. The director of ZA/UM UK is Anu Reiman, who is also reportedly a partner of Haavel's. Kender claims that Haavel's involvement is being "kept secret" because he's €11.2 million in debt as a result of his 2015 conviction.

Speaking to the Estonian Ekspress, Kompus denied the existence of a lawsuit against him, and Haavel called the allegations "completely absurd." Both were shown legal documents by the outlet and did not respond.

December 8th, 2022. According to GamesIndustry.biz article, Kaur Kender has withdrawn a lawsuit against Tütreke.

Studio ZA/UM provided a statement from Kompus, but could not provide a reason for Kender's withdrawal. Kompus says: "We are pleased that Kender and his attorneys have chosen to withdraw their lawsuit – one that should never have been filed in the first place. Their decision affirms there was no basis for their accusations and that I have acted appropriately and responsibly, as underscored by the corporate records I provided."

The article also mentions Studio ZA/UM was unable to provide an update on the suit's progression against Kurvitz's company, Telomer.

PC Gamer reached for comment, Kender stated that his lawsuit against the owner of Studio ZA/UM proved to be successful and provided a timeline of the lawsuit:

Kaur Kender's lawsuit against the owner of ZA/UM was successful.

Kaur Kender's (his company, Chromed Investing OÜ) lawsuit against the owner of Zaum Studio OÜ proved to be successful.

On October 25, 2022, Kaur Kender's company filed a lawsuit against OÜ Tütreke (Ilmar Kompus company), in which was demanded the seizure of Zaum Studio OÜ's share belonging to OÜ Tütreke.

On October 29, 2022, the Estonian court secured the action and shares belonging to OÜ Tütreke were seized.

On October 31, 2022, the order securing the action was forwarded to Nasdaq and the Estonian Business Register.

On November 1, 2022, Kaur Kender sent a letter in English to contacts, including Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel, stating that the minority shareholders demand the convening of a general meeting.

On November 4, 2022, Ilmar Kompus' company OÜ Tütreke paid a total of 4 million euros to Zaum Studios OÜ in two payments.

On November 11, 2022, Ilmar Kompus' company OÜ Tütreke paid 800,000 euros to ZA/UM Studios OÜ.

Ilmar Kompus referred in the corresponding payment orders: "Return of the amounts received on the basis of the contract on 12.2021-01.2022 due to the nullity of the contract".

To the extent that Ilmar Kompus returned the illegally taken 4,800,000 euros, Kaur Kender achieved the goal of the lawsuit filed, and the court proceedings in this case will be terminated.

PC Gamer also provided commentary and an excerpt from Estonian Ekspress: "Eesti Ekspress reports that Kompus "paid back" €4.8 million to Studio ZA/UM in November. The outlet says that the reason provided for the transaction was that the €4.8 million "was received on the basis of a void transaction." Eesti Ekspress points out that Kompus "controls both sides" of that void transaction. [...] By now transferring €4.8 million to the company to repay it for a "void transaction," the intended message seems to be that he didn't use company money to buy his shares. But why did he have the €4.8 million in the first place?"

Robert Kurvitz told PC Gamer that his party is aware of "Kompus’s view that the money taken from ZA/UM Studio was 'repaid'." Kurvitz says he's seen a "partial bank statement allegedly confirming such repayment," but remains unclear on the "source and legal nature of this repayment, and the further use of the allegedly repaid funds."

"Further, any 'repayment' of the company’s money which was used to illegally acquire a majority stake does not erase the main consequence of the initial injustice⁠—which is that Kompus remains the majority owner, a position that he was only able to attain by using the company’s money as his own," said Kurvitz. "In light of this, there has been no material change in our situation, and we continue to consider our legal options. We cannot comment on the decisions taken by Kaur Kender with regard to his claim, to which we were never a party."

March 14, 2023. GamesIndustry.biz reports legal dispute between Studio ZA/UM and the game's producer Kaur Kender has been resolved.

"ZA/UM has announced that ex-staffer Kender has repaid all debts owed to it. Also, per a court order, Kender has repaid CEO Ilmar Kompus for legal fees from a lawsuit that was eventually withdrawn back in December. Additionally, he's divested all his shares in the games company.

Studio ZA/UM says both Kurvitz and Rostov have dropped their "unfair dismissal" claims due to lack of evidence. However, the company says it continues to face a "series of baseless allegations from former employees" and expects more claims to "fall apart under legal and factual scrutiny."

March 16, 2023. In a statement sent to GamesIndustry.biz, Kurvitz and Taal (alias for Aleksander Rostov) said the press release is false in multiple areas. The pair maintain they are the remaining minority shareholders of the studio. The developers explained, "The press release implies that our employment claims against the studio were withdrawn for lack of evidence. They were not. We see our dismissal as part of a larger campaign against us and will pursue legal options accordingly." The statement adds that they disagreed with Kender admitting the lawsuit he withdrew in December 2022 was misguided.

"Kender's lawsuit was based on the misuse of ZA/UM's funds (€4.8 million) by the majority shareholders [Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel] to increase their own stake in the company. In the press release, Kompus and Haavel admit to this misuse, arguing only that the money has been 'paid back to ZA/UM,' " the duo explained.

"Paying back stolen money, however, does not undo the crime; here, it does not undo the majority that Kompus and Haavel have illegally gained in ZA/UM."

Additionally, they described that, unlike Kender, they will not be silenced in this ongoing legal dispute. "Unlike Kender, we have not participated in the looting of ZA/UM, and Kompus and Haavel have no power over us."

March 23rd 2023. GamesIndustry.biz updates initial post with a reply statment from ZA/UM. The studio reiterated that Kender admitted that the lawsuit was misguided on his part. It said, "In addition, as part of a court order, he also paid the legal fees for CEO Ilmar Kompus, who had to respond to that now-withdrawn claim." ZA/UM adds, "Using details like 'looting,' 'stolen money,' and 'crime' make for riveting reading but are far from reality. The actual harm to the studio is not from some fictional 'looting,' but rather from Mr. Kurvitz and Mr. Taal, while employed by the studio, refusing to do their jobs, creating a toxic workplace, demeaning colleagues, and attempting to misappropriate Studio IP."

Additionally, the studio explained that Kurvitz and Taal are welcome to challenge these facts in court.

(The next court hearing is scheduled for September 11th.)

[turianhumanclient]

ZAUM vs Telomer part 2

New court hearing scheduled for September. Kurvits didn’t take the judge’s deal then.

[leonsleftbicep]

ok im being a little silly right now

WHY IS THE GUITAR SOLO IN TELOMERS SOO GOOD

AND THE BREAK DOWN AT THE END OF WHEN THE BOUGH BREAKS

AND DONT FREAKING GET ME STARTED ON JERICHO

i love these three songs with my heart and soul

[belog-grada-crna-princeza]

"Ma, pusti me da vodim ljubav sa svojim željama."

Zavrti mi se u glavi, na ravnom izgubim ravnotežu, pa ponovo vraćam kontrolu tako što ih probodem oštricom.. ruke mi ne krvare, ne tresu se, sigurne u to što rade. Da li iko sme da zna kako ih vraćam u život, kad ne gledaju, kako ih spajam sa svojim telom, kako je sve u meni budno tada, kako im se prepuštam? A uplašilo bi te da znaš, kako im se samo prepuštam.

Ja bih te, u svoju odbranu, smesta spustila sa tog neba na koje si se zaputio, odsečno ti rekavši da one nemaju veze s tobom! One su moje predstave o tebi, ti to možeš biti.. i ne moraš.

U mojoj glavi si velik, ali ja mogu i da te smanjim, uništim, zgazim. Ne izazivaj me. Prepuštam se njima, ne i tebi. One su te koje mi ubrzavaju disanje, puls, čine krv koja mi struji venama vrelijom. Izvini, ali previše je varnica ugašeno u tuđim grudima, da bih te tek tako pustila blizu, meni ne treba neko koga moja vatra greje, neko ko od nje pozajmljuje i ostaje hladan. Meni treba neko ko će sa mnom u njoj da izgori, pa se sutra sa mnom ponovo rodi. Ako smeš i ako umeš da za mene budeš Feniks, ja ću biti i tvoj plamen i tvoj pepeo. 

Toliko kol'ko sam ja slaba, umeš li ti da budeš jak?

Niko do sad to nije umeo, a lepo sam rekla i hiljadu puta ću ponoviti, trebaju mi ili jači saborci ili veštiji neprijatelji, pa izvoli i izaberi. Za polovinu nisam zainteresovana i nije mi potrebna; hvala terapeutkinji na savetu da nije sve crno/belo, ali odgovorila sam i pri tome ostajem: ako nije to, ja ne bih ništa. 

I zato ti sve ovo krijem, napravim korak, pa se povučem, a ti se ne pomeraš za sad, i to me plaši. Plaši me i oduševljava u isto vreme, loži, uzbuđuje, mogućnost da si jači, još jači od onoga kakvim mogu da te zamislim. Ja ipak blefiram, a ti podižeš ulog, ne trepćeš. Iza pokerface koji ti slažem, drhtim od sve izvesnijeg ishoda da pobeđuješ, svesna da te ne puštam.. da je tvoja moć nada mnom stvarna i da sam u isto vreme sve sigurnija da neće biti destruktivna. 

Ako uz tebe vrtoglavica prestaje, a ceo život niko ne zna koliko se plašim da sam balon koji lako odleti, ako ga ne zadrže na Zemlji... Ako skidam i odeću i kožu, ako ispuštam dah i prelivam se u tebe, kao reka u more. Ako mi bodlje otpadnu, a ostanu latice. Ako sve to preživim i dozvolim, ako na kraju pustim iluziju da sam se uopšte i pitala, ako nisam više onako bahata i ohola kao kad sam rekla sve ono s početka; izvini, ja se tako razmećem da ne pomisle slučajno da sam slaba... 

U tom slučaju možda ti i priznam, jednom, da si mi se ostvario i dao mi nešto više, da si pobedio moje želje i da zbog toga zaslužuješ mesto, ne na tronu, ni na dnu, već mesto ovde. Pored mene.

-Katarina

[belmasworld]

telom tudja , dusom tvoja

tebi mogla sam da budem bolja

[berush01]

Sledoval som ho, skrytý za stenou Puebla. Stál na priestranstve pred Pueblom, a vysvetľoval čosi skupine malých chlapcov.. Moje oči hltaly každý kúsok jeho tela, jeho odhalený hrudník, jeho paže, krk, svaly na nohách, vypracované životom v prérii, jazdou na koni.. jeho vlasy, tak husté, čierne ako noc a dlhé až po pás.. predstavoval som si aké by to bolo, keby som ho mohol držať v náruči, láskať prsty jeho telo, pokrývať ho bozkami.. zaťal som prsty do dlaní, vo snahe nájsť stratenú rovnováhu, zhlboka som dýchal, a snažil sa upokojiť rozochvelú myseľ.. Milujem ho. Milujem Vinnetoua, náčelníka Apačov.

'Ich liebe dich, meine Vinnetou!!'

A viem, že mu to nikdy nepoviem. Nezniesol by som odmietnutie. Alebo opovrhnutie.. a nenávisť. Nič s toho už nechcem zažiť. Nechcem ho stratiť, už aj len ako priateľa a brata. Ak to znamená zatvrdiť svoje srdce, urobím to.. Len preto abych mu ostal na blízku.

Musel som preč. Vyskočil som do sedla Hatátitly, a nechal ho bežať kam len chcel..

Na kraji lesa, u malého potôčika asi hodinu od Puebla som nechal koňa, nech sa napije a napasie.. Sám som si sadol u vody, a dal priechod svojim citom.. mučivá spomienka naňho mi viedla ruku neomylne do rozkroku, kde môj penis dával jasne najavo, že potrebujem uvoľnenie.

Nevydržal som, moje prsty sa ovinuly kolem penisu, a začaly sa pohybovať. Najprv pomaly, pohyb dole, hore, a znova a znova..

V duchu som sa miloval s ním.. cítil som jeho ruky, ako skúmajú každý kúsok môjho tela, srdce mi bije ako zvon, ach bože.. jeho pery na mojich, cítil som zreteľne jeho dych, keď mi vtisol bozk na jazvu na hrudi, kde ma zasiahol jeho šíp.. a pak.. k mojej ruke na penisu sa pridala ešte jedna. Prudko som otvoril oči, len aby celé moje zorné pole vyplnil ON.

Vinnetou.

Jeho oči, doširoka rozšírené sledovali moju tvár, a jeho prsty prevzaly vládu nad mým telom. Sedel obkročmo na mne, jednu ruku stále v mojom rozkroku, a druhou ma hladil kam len dosiahol. Jeho pery zamkly tie moje v zúfalom polibku, ktorým mi ukázal, čo všetko sa odohráva v jeho nitru ..

A v tej chvíli som vedel, že je môj. Slzy sa mi rozbehly po lícach.. neskrýval som ich. Jeho pery slíbali tie nemé svedkyne môjho štastia, a pak sa jazykom vlámal do mých úst… Poslepu som vyslobodil jeho penis, prsty sa ovinuly kolem neho.. odpoveďou mi bol táhly, pridusený hrdelný vzdych, ktorý ma presvedčil, že je to skutočné, že sa mi to len nesníva.

Vinnetou... oh mein Vinnetou!! Ich liebte ihn, und im Gegenzug wurde ich geliebt.

Konečne som vedel, kam patrím. Kde som doma.

Vinnetou ist mein Zuhause, mein Leben, mein Universum. Mein Alles..

Bol som jeho, a on bol môj. Navždy.

[quiennoarriesganogana]

Ez az utolso honap.

Ez mar nagyon a vegjatek, izgatott vagyok es felek is. Rettentoen varlak mar keresztlanyom!

A telom mindig maxhangeron ha esetleg hivnak, hogy keszuljek mert jossz.

Varom, hogy lassalak es foghassalak, hogy naaagyon sok mindent elmeselhessek Neked.

De lesz amit nem fogok.. Nem fogom elmeselni, hogy mikor meg a pocakban voltal volt valaki, akit keresztszulodkent emlitettunk Mellettem. Valaki akivel egyutt vettuk meg azt a bizonyos tesztet Anyukadnak. Valaki akit nagyon szerettem, es ugyanaz a valaki aki tonkre is tett. Utalom magamat, hogy ha csak kicsit is de koze volt Hozzad. Hogy egyaltalan tudott Rolad.

De egyet megigerek! Soha nem fogom engedni, hogy ugy szenvedj ahogy en szenvedtem. Nem fogok meselni rola, mert nem erdemli meg, hogy tudj rola.

Szeretlek picikem! Mindig vigyazni fogok Rad!

N.M🩷

[laniakearose]

ZAMKA (trigger warning)

Ovo piše moja ranjena unutrašnja tinejdžerka.

Sećam se alegorije o vuku. Zima je i izgladneli vuk upada u zamku koju mu lovac postavi a zamka je krvavi bodež, balčak mu je zariven u led. Glad je toliko jaka da vuk halapljivo liže krv sa nje i ne primećuje da se povređuje i da sopstvenu krv meša s krvlju na bodežu. Svi znamo kakav je kraj ove priče.

E pa...tako i ja. Celoga života upadam u sopstvene zamke. Kažem: "evo ti oružje, sama sam ga napravila." Kažem: "Jedino ono može da me ubije".

Stavljam ti oružje u ruke, kažem: "hoću da vidim da li ćeš me ubiti".

Još nisam naišla na osobu koja nije.

Umrla sam hiljadu puta. Je l postoji zavisnost od bola? Ako da, ja sam zavisnik. Od smrti isto. Pravila sam kućicu od bola. Moju zonu (ne)komfora. Zar i dalje misliš da ne zaslužuješ da budeš srećna, M? Da ne zaslužuješ ljubav? Ne, ne, ne...toliko smo dugo ušivali te rane, M. Ne otvaraj ih ponovo.

Pitam se, zašto se mrzim toliko? Gde je taj zaštitnik u meni koji me je čuvao od čudovišta dok sam bila mala?

Gde je zaštitnik, kad je unutrašnji mučitelj tu?

Gde?

Pa ja nikad ne bih povredila nekoga do koga mi je stalo! Ne namerno. Ne tako. Ne kad je najranjiviji. Vučem repove iz prošlih života, valjda. Zašto onda povređujem samu sebe iznova i iznova?

Zar nije moja dužnost da se čuvam? Da štitim svoje izranjavano srce? Ne znam koliko će me još trpeti.

To moje srce.

Nisam ja žrtva. Ja sam ratnica. Ali ratnica koja ratuje protiv sebe. Dokle? Dokle samo-sabotaža?

Dokle ogoljavanje pred lovcima? Dokle ću piti sopstvenu krv jer ne mogu da popunim tu prazninu u duši? Ne postoji ništa što može da je popuni.

Pa i ne treba mi ništa. Neka zjapi.

Da li je realno da sada, kada treba da se radujem, kada započinjem život iznova(ili po prvi put zapravo živim) opet radim istu stvar?

Opet sam tu, držim prostor nekome ko je previše sjeban da shvati šta misli i šta želi...a ne misli o meni. Ne želi mene. Tj. želi me kad mu je zgodno. Dok ne naiđe neka zgodnija (prilika).

Gde je granica između prijatelja i benefita? Da li je istina ono što zapravo tražim? Da li je istina da nemam nimalo samopoštovanja? Kažeš: "ali shvataš li da ako ovome dodje kraj, to nema veze sa tvojom vrednošću?" "Mmmmmm. Da. Važi."

Ili su to samo tvoje projekcije? Uveče kažeš da se sa mnom osećaš bezbedno, ujutru mi zariješ nož u srce. Da, odgurni me jer sam ti previše blizu.

Da li sam zapravo samo preuzela tvoje demone na sopstvena pleća? Ako jesam, odričem ih se.

Odričem se odgovornosti za tudje mrakove.

Nisam ti ja terapeut. Nemam kapacitet da ti budem i terapeut i ljubavnica. Ne želim.

Nije fer. Ja nisam žrtva.

Ovo prestaje sada.

Vučem granicu kod krvavog bodeža.

Povlačim svu energiju koju sam ti dala.

Ne možeš da imaš moć nad mojom dušom i telom.

Samo ja imam tu moć.

Ne treba mi tvoja "ne-ljubav".

Evo ti tvoj krvavi bodež nazad.

Zbogom.

[poeticlicense12345]

POGLED KOJI NAS VOLI

Već sam pisala o čovekovoj potrebi da potvrdi svoje postojanje, zasnivajući odnos sa drugim ljudima. U osnovi svega što je čovek promišljao i stvorio je iskonska potreba da izrazi ono što misli i oseća o svetu koji ga okružuje. Da, u stvari, artikuliše, na određeni način, svest o sebi i odnos prema drugima. To je komunikacija u najširem smislu reči. Postoje razni vidovi te komunikacije sa drugima, a najčešća i najprisutnija je verbalno artikulisana veza sa drugima, govor odnosno reč kao osnov te veze. Kaže se, ipak, da čovek ne “govori neprestano ali neprestano saopštava”. Znači da je naše “saopštavanje“, u stvari ,stalna komunikacija sa drugim ljudima. Ako, ovog puta, isključimo verbalnu komunikaciju, koja se služi rečima, ostaje takozvana neverbalna komunikacija, govor tela. Ja sam sklonija tvrđenju da neverbalna komunikacija mnogo vernije odražava naše istinske misli i osećanja, jer, takođe, mislim da rečima maskiramo, prikrivamo naše stvarne emocije. Nekako, imamo utisak da nas neizgovoreno ne otkriva, da je u njemu sigurnost (kao u “ćutanju” kod Andrića). Volim da ljude gledam kada razgovaram s njima, jer, imam utisak, da je tada i njihova duša “otvorena”. Zbunjuje me, najblaže rečeno, “iskrenost” ljudi koji odbijaju razgovor “oči u oči”

Naše telo često šalje poruke koje su suprotne od onog što govorimo. Pokret tela, iskra u oku, dodirivanje kose, potreba da dotaknemo onoga s kim verbalno komuniciramo mnogo više govori, ko zna da gleda, od reči koje izgovaramo. Neverbalnoj komunikaciji često više verujem, jer reč, smatram, ipak dolazi posle misli, i može se “doraditi”, “ispeglati”, a misao je nekako izvornija i istinskije izkazuje ono što osećamo. Postoji jedan takav raskorak između izrečenog, verbalnog i prećutanog, neverbalnog (pripovetka L. Lazarevića “Vetar” - psihološki bremenit odnos majke i sina), gde je neverbalno, istinsko osećanje koje, primajući se kao prava poruka, dramatično menja život glavnog junaka. Ako nas neko “sluša” a gleda u drugom pravcu, pre ćemo verovati neverbalnim znacima. Slušanje i posmatranje je od podjednake važnosti.

Postoje mnoga istraživanja o verbalnoj i neverbalnoj komunikaciji koja tvrde da, recimo, lice, izraz, ton glasa prenose mnogo više informacija nego reč. Najjače emocije (radost, tuga, ljubav, strast...) mnogo snažnije ižražavamo i primamo upravo telom (pokretima, rukama, očima, izrazom lica...), a ne rečima.Ima divnih emotivnih misli o “poeziji” našeg tela, o “rimama”, kojim ono iskazuje osećanja prema nekom, bez reči. Često je to mnogo “rečitiji” govor, pogotovo onome ko zna da ga “čita” (iskra u oku itekako mnogo “govori”). Veliki Šekspir je rekao da se “ljubav javlja, živi i umire u očima”. U oku, “ogledalu duše” su sve naše emocije, “ono” naše dragoceno što “saopštavamo” samo “odabranima” (”...oko mi je tobom zaneto i više ne upravlja hodom, ne vrši dužnost...” - V. Šekspir). Mika Antić od ljubavi koja je prošla samo pamti “pogled koji ga je voleo”.

Dodir je snažno komunikaciono sredstvo. Može da prenese presudnu poruku sagovorniku, da uteši, pruži sigurnost, pokaže ljubav i nežnost, izleči samoću i tugu. Stariji i deca, nekako, najviše osećaju potrebu da im se dodirom pokaže da su voljeni.Volela sam da svom ocu, u prolazu, naročito poslednjih godina njegovog života, dodirnem ruku, pomilujem kosu ili ga, iznenada, zagrlim, da bih mu pokazala da mi još treba.Znao je da oseti tu moju „nemu“ ljubav. Zagrljaj je najveći od svih dodira, ili skup svih jezika čula i srca. Istraživanja kažu (koja je merna jedinica zagrljaja?) da nam je potrebno najmanje četiri zagrljaja dnevno da bismo emotivno „živeli“. Ja sam , tu, neskromnija- potrebno mi je mnogo više.

O rukama kao o neverbalnom “sredstvu” komunikacije, kao pokazatelju emocija i stavova suvišno je govoriti. Koliko je dodir ruke rečitiji od svih reči koje bismo mogli izgovoriti. A gestikulacijom rukama ćemo neki govor nadgraditi, dati mu pravo obeležje.

Mnogo bi se moglo govoriti o “čaroliji” govora tela, izraza lica, pogleda, osmeha... Da li je onda verbalni govor, reč, zaista superiorno sredstvo komunikacije.

text author: Tanja Petrović Krivokapić

[zerrin-kamir]

27 haziran Arefe günü.

Dolu dolu 45 yıl bitiyor.

Buradan İsviçre' li bilim adamlarına sesleniyorum.

Telomer ' lerin ömrünü uzatacak sistem hala bulunamadımı ???

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[isedasounds]

Happy new year: More on Leaf Evolution from The Emerald Planet.

There's a note on how this blog may continue in the future at the bottom.

Answering the question from the last post:

So, why did it take so long for plants to develop leaves?

Image source: Beerling, D.J., & Fleming, A.J. (2007). Zimmermann's telome theory of megaphyll leaf evolution: a molecular and cellular critique. Current opinion in plant biology, 10 1, 4-12 .

Short answer:

It was due to a complex interplay of phenomena where plants themselves, undergoing a Paleozoic "big bang", caused CO2 to drop by proliferating, growing, and evolving complex body plans, and also weathering continental silicate rocks alongside fungi, which removed more CO2 from the atmosphere, disrupting the previous stasis of the long term carbon cycle (of tectonics, volcanoes, rocks, weathering). Low CO2 then allowed plants to develop more stomata, a precursor to the ability to grow larger leaves. This in turn was a precursor to the growth of taller trees, and further abundant plant diversification.

Long answer:

The first knee high trees and shrubs on the landscape were forking twigs, with no leaves, for 30 million years. 360 million years ago, by the start of the carboniferous, leafy plants were firmly established and widespread among flora. It took about 40-50 million years from the first forking twigs for leaves to be widespread, whereas by comparison, for example, humans evolved from primates in 1/10 of the time. Leaves originated independently in three other plant groups- Sphenopsids, Pteridosperms (ferns) and seed plants.

But, before this marine algae fossils were found in Canadian dolomite with fronds that predated widespread leaved-plants (dated 390 million years ago) with tiny 1-2 mm diameter leaves. Though a full and proper understanding of the genetic mechanisms underlying leaf evolution are still some way off, for now it seems that a genetic "toolkit" for assembly of leaves has been in place long before they proliferated [See Supplemental notes - it's interesting].

400 to 350 million years ago - the same time as the plants' botanical "Cambrian explosion", atmospheric CO2 levels plummeted tenfold, which was unprecedented in the last 500 million years. This led to a major ice age, a weakened greenhouse effect, and the formation of massive glaciers.

How were stomata important in this plant explosion?

Plant leaves have been demonstrated to develop more stomata when there is less atmospheric CO2 - shown by Ian Woodward (1987) from herbaria records, and observations of fewer stomata in trees during the Industrial Revolution with higher CO2 - to conserve water loss. (Interestingly, this happens by mature leaves communicating with newly developing leaves about the optimum number of stomata to produce for the environmental conditions they will soon encounter.)

The number of stomata hold significance for plant's ability to keep cool. More pores confer an increased capacity to keep cool (more transpiration possible), but this is made more difficult with larger leaves, because as air flows over the leaf surface to remove heat, they are slowed by friction of air molecules against the leaf surface, and larger leaves have more surface area, so there is more friction, making their heat loss less efficient than with smaller leaves.

It is thought that a large drop in atmospheric CO2, permitted plants to produce more stomata, which allowed bigger leaves to stay cool and proliferate.

It would be hard to know for certain that it happened exactly like this but also, there are fossils of different plants showing leaf size growth in different types of plants growing in response to CO2 concentrations falling - Archaeopteris, pteridosperms, and a conifer precursor group. This confirms a central prediction of the CO2 hypothesis of later leaf development.

With low CO2 and stomata regulation changing in response to the economics of heat loss in plants, plants also evolved sophisticated root/shoot water transport systems, which increased the capacity to cool down these larger, high-stomata, high transpiration leaves.

A marine animal analogue: Interestingly, a similar barrier / spark has been proposed to have caused the explosion of marine invertebrate animals during the Cambria: Low atmospheric Oxygen was raised, which led to the evolution of complex multi-cellular animals (there is some merit to this because physically larger organisms need more oxygen to sustain their metabolism). Here, as larger, more diverse, marine animals evolved with structures like joints, shells, and complex eyes, they in turn drove the evolution of more complex animals to evade, defend, and protect against predation.

In both cases, ecology itself played a role in transforming the ecosystems as CO2 levels fell. In the botanical case, larger leaves led to the development of taller plants to avoid large leaves.

Plants themselves probably led to the initial CO2 level decline, by disrupting the abiotic processes for exchange of CO2 between rocks, oceans, and the atmosphere. This is referring to the long-term carbon cycle: The earth's cycle wherein volcanic eruptions due to tectonics, cause Co2 release, causing a warmer climate and precipitation, leading to rock weathering, which consumes CO2, weakening the greenhouse effect (a negative/stabilizing feedback loop - think of it as a thermostat that keeps control of global climate over 100s of thousands to millions of years). Plants disrupted this by taking in so much CO2 in their proliferation and evolving appendages/size, and also by developing growing roots that weather rocks, and the weathered rocks then store more CO2.

Even though plants caused the CO2 decline that stressed them and caused them to develop more stomata, their proliferation and diversification shows this kingdom benefitting in the end. And many others living beings were supported by the new abundance of plants.

Source:

Beerling, D. (2017). The emerald planet: how plants changed Earth's history. Oxford University Press.

Notes:

Proper fossil leaf specimens show extinct genus of early trees Archaeopteris, showing plants starting to exploit photosynthetic proficiency of a flat solar panel (i.e. more surface area, flat) for capturing sunlight and powering photosynthesis.

2. Genetics :

KNOX or knotted homeobox genes organize growth and development by ensuring that cells take on the right form and function depending on where they are on the plant. This was critical for leaf formation. This gene can be transferred into different plants and still take on this function, which is to be expected with evolutionary old genes.

KNOX off is a state that causes leaf growth: sideways outgrowth protrude from the shoot which then develop into leaves. And this is the same approach to making leaves developed by many independent plant groups.

Leaf development also requires that genes "know" how to assemble the upper (sunlight intercepting and processing) and lower (CO2 absorbing) parts of their leaves. These genes are also old - about 400 million years old.

Plant adaptation to CO2 concentrations may very well be part of their basic evolutionary existence.

3. People:

Julie Grey discovered the gene that regulates stomata formation, and it is theorized to reduce stomata by depositing specific fatty acids into specialized cells of the pores, and inhibiting neighbor cells from developing more stomata.

Some of the scientists credited with charting the evolutionary trajectory of leaves and making discoveries/insights that led to more discoveries are: Walter Zimmerman (died 1980) and poet/philosopher Johann Wolfgang Goethe - the adventurous ideas of Goethe on plant metamorphosis were accepted by scientists such as Darwin.

Zimmerman's "telome" theory of leaves arising in 4 main steps (3D branching, side branching, further dividing side branches, webbing) explained the how but not why for paleobotanists of leaf development over evolutionary time.

Blog Notes:

Last week I continued to learn geology with some emphasis on causes and consequences of mass extinctions, the evolution of life and paleobiology, marine biology, marine science, wildlife ecology, climate science, astronomy, and physics. I have decided to continue in marine science, and this blog's changing focus should reflect that, as well as further developments. I plan on finishing The Emerald Planet and documenting it here, as there are important foundations on geology, plants, oceans, and their relationships (and, it's a very interesting book).

Main learning sources this week: The Emerald Planet (book, described in this post); Life on Our Planet, Our Planet, Our Planet II (docu-series), Mission Blue (documentary), sporadic scientific articles; astronomy/astrophysics - Our Universe show, various astronomy and telescope research; physics - a brilliant Coursera course, associated readings, Easy Physics podcast).

[de-dijon]

Nismo se dotakli telom, al' u dušu dušu si mi stavila