#teen boy (before the credits even!!) and so tragically faces the entire might of the justi.. oh no he just has to transfer to LA (something

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for May 2021! Below the cut you’ll find 17 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup.

New York Kiss by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

[Louis/Zayn, Mature, 47k, tumblr post]

“Also, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m quite the narcissistic type, and I didn’t want that cute guy to have a bad opinion of me for the rest of his life.” “Who, me?” Zayn bats his lashes jokingly, ignoring the fact that his heart skipped a beat at Louis’ words. “Yeah, you. So, shall we go?” Louis drops what remains of his cigarette on the floor and steps on it to light it off. Meanwhile, Zayn makes a reckless decision. “Alright. Lead the way, De Niro.”

Or: A strangers to lovers AU where Louis is an actor, Zayn is a writer (among other things), and they meet each other literally by accident in NYC, just as the world is about to turn upside down.

I Love The Very Blood Of You by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 129k, tumblr post]

“I don’t just like him …” Harry muttered, fiddling with the string at the waistband of his jogging bottoms that had definitely seen better days. “I love him, Zayn. I’m in love with Louis. With a vampire.”

He looked up just in time to see a small smile on Anne’s face, and she reached out with a hopeful look. Harry couldn’t resist, and put his large hand in hers, letting her comfort him for a moment.

“I could tell there was love between you,” she confessed softly, a light blush on her cheeks. “When I met you, I knew you were smitten with each other. I won’t pretend it doesn’t make me nervous, but … I can’t tell you who you can and can’t love, sweetheart.”

A vampire. A human. A broken arrangement. A love long since forbidden. Hunted by hate. Destined.

One More Taste of Your Lips by MsHydeStylinson @mizzhydes and @canadianlarrie

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 80k, tumblr post]

It had been eight years since the hiatus began, and Louis had spent that time writing and recording music, touring and making it safely through the pandemic. When the opportunity arose to go back on tour with One Direction, Louis knew he'd be a fool not to take it. Sure, life on the road would be different after all this time apart, but he was looking forward to experiencing that comradery again.

What he hadn't realised was that living the better part of nine months in each other's pockets was bound to dredge up issues from his past. And when one of the pockets belonged to Harry, who he'd had a rather unconventional friendship with that drifted apart during their last tour, life on the road again would upend both their lives in irrevocable ways.

***

Harry wasn’t that sixteen year old boy anymore. Nor was he the young man in his late teens who was on the cusp of conquering the entire world.

But some traits seemed to remain the same; his vibrant green eyes, the dimples set deeply in his cheeks whenever he laughed earnestly, or his curls that were the same shade of cocoa that Louis remembered fondly.

And yet, Louis had absolutely no idea who this man that stood a mere twenty paces away was today.

take my hand, wreck my plans by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Harry/Louis, Teen & Up, 38k, tumblr post]

Louis meets the man in the center of the room, feeling every eye on him.

“Mr. H,” he whispers.

The man smiles brightly and laughs as if he can’t believe his eyes. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”

“Nor I you, especially under these circumstances.”

“Even so,” Mr H says, his eyes bouncing from Louis’ eyes to his lips. “Will you do me a great honor and join me in leading the first … um…”

“Dance?”

Mr. H laughs and nods. “Yes, that’s the one.”

Louis bites his lips and doesn’t hesitate before whispering, “Yes.”

Mr. H beams and reaches for Louis’ hand. Sparks fly at the touch and a zing of excitement shoots through Louis’ body. His face heats up as he’s afraid his scent would give away his feelings towards the other man.

Winter Light by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

[Liam/Zayn (Liam & Louis, Harry/Louis), Teen & Up, 58k, tumblr post]

“Do you think this place is dead?” he suddenly asked, his eyes focused on one of the two oaks, whose bark was grey and trunk cracked. 

“What do you mean?” Zayn inquired, joining him by the tree. 

“Well, it’s winter now, so obviously everything looks dead anyway,” Liam said. “But do you think come spring, this place might look like the way it looked before?” 

Zayn took his time to think about Liam’s question. “I think all things are salvageable,” he eventually answered. “Including this garden. You just have to try hard enough.”

After his mother’s death, Liam is sent to live at his estranged uncle’s manor in the North of England, where new friends, mysterious places and family secrets await him. A Secret Garden inspired Soulmate AU

Cake and Kiss by @loulovehome

[Harry/Louis, General, 2k, tumblr post]

The one where omega Harry didn't like cake and wants to throw up when his alpha kisses him.

Love After the End of the World by writing_practice / @mercurial-madhouse

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 150k, tumblr post]

“Wait. Just so I’m clear in me fucking noggin,” Niall says. “An international worldwide takeover is well under way and the only thing standing between having hot showers and a second end of the world is us five fuckers?”

-----

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Hometown by @allwaswell16

[Louis/Harry, Not Rated, 2k, tumblr post]

On the day Harry gets his driver’s licence, he drives through the suburbs, heartbroken that he can’t drive home to Louis.

Baby Blues by @kingsofeverything

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 12K, tumblr post]

8 mpreg Harry snippets originally posted on Tumblr. Mostly smut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 107k, tumblr post]

Harry’s life as a vampire is routine. He spends his years moving around from place to place, learning as much as he can, and falling in love whenever the universe sees fit. When he tries to move his casual relationship with Louis to something more, it all gets turned on its head. As they navigate confusing thoughts and complex emotions, Harry finds himself torn between the love he feels for Louis and everything he thought he knew.

Featuring pet names, love letters, secrets, meaningful friendships, and two insecure boys desperately in love.

Pretty in Pink by lovelarry / @chloehl10

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 18k, tumblr post]

“Love? Can I come in?”

Harry sniffed and shook his head before he realised Louis couldn’t see him. “No. Go home, Lou. Please.”

“I’m not leaving,” the Omega insisted, his voice full of concern. “And I’m not judging either. Just… talk to me, Haz.”

Harry briefly considered changing or at least ripping everything off and greeting Louis in his boxers before he realised that might actually be worse, that Louis had seen him dressed up and there was no need to hide anymore. He meekly shuffled over to the door and pulled it open before he backed away, refusing to meet Louis’ eyes.

To the Omega’s credit, he walked straight over to Harry and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his cheek between Harry’s shoulder blades.

“This top feels nice. Soft. I see why you like it,” Louis said quietly from behind him.

*****

Alpha Harry loves to secretly dress up and be pretty. He loves his feminine side, even if it’s not typical of an Alpha. But when Omega Louis finds out, it might just the start of something even more beautiful for them both...

Plant New Seeds In The Melody by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 58k, tumblr post]

After losing his husband in a tragic car accident, the last thing Louis needs is to keep running into popstar Harry Styles, who David was quite fond of.

Obviously, that’s exactly what keeps happening.

But as their unlikely friendship blossoms, Louis realizes that, maybe, having Harry in his life was the only good thing that came out of his adverse circumstances. Harry could be just the right person to help Louis find trust and intimacy in someone new.

We are the same, you run in my veins by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, General, 4k, tumblr post]

When the time for Louis to become the Alpha leader of his pack comes, he can’t rise to the occasion for not being yet bonded. A series of trips to neighbouring packs in search of his soulmate is fruitless until he meets one of the other packs’ Alpha heir.

Harry.

The world seems to stop turning for a second and then it shifts, clicking into its axis. All the distress and wrongness he felt until that very moment suddenly disappears. Louis is finally whole.

But two Alpha leaders from different tribes soulbonding is something unheard of before.

evergreen, evermore by docklands / @hershelsue​

[Louis/Harry, General, 2k, tumblr post]

The year is 1979. Their entire lives, Harry and Louis have lived in Chichester, home to the best watermelons in the world. An unruffled life in the country has always served their long term friendship well. It all shifts when Harry has to move away to a bigger city due to his mother’s job, albeit his love for his hometown and for Louis. It’s even harsher when the moving truck leaves on his birthday, of all days. When all seems lost, Louis ends up having to pull some strings to ease the pain in Harry’s heart.

When The High's Too High, and the Low's Too Low by DaysLikeMasquerades

[Louis/Harry, Mature, 22k+ (wip)]

Two perspectives of growing up neurodivergent

Some days Harry wondered if he would ever find a friend who could look past all the things he couldn't change. Someone who didn't care that he could spend hours talking about his latest fascination without calling him obsessed. Who didn't laugh when he couldn't stop his hands from expressing his emotions. Who didn't care that he was 13, but he'd start crying if he went into too many stores, because they were too bright, too loud, too smelly, and it was all just too overwhelming. Some days he thought someone like that just didn't exist.

Most nights Louis wondered if there would ever come a time when he didn't hate himself. When he would learn to control his emotions and the mood swings that seemed to take over everything and leave no room for himself. He wondered how he could live with himself when he only seemed to hurt the people he loved. His teachers thought he was a wonderful boy, but he knew the truth. Most nights he cried himself into exhaustion wondering how it was possible to feel so broken at only 15. He wanted to be happy, but he didn't know how and that scared him more than anything. Most nights he just hoped he could figure it out before it was too late.

Make You Never Wanna Leave (so Don’t) by @beelou​ / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 3k, tumblr post]

“You look hot in plaid.” “What?” “I said you look like a dad.” “No, you didn't.” “Yes, I certainly did, Harold. You have no proof.” -- Or, the one where Harry wears plaid.

a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Niall, ​Not rated, 10k, tumblr post]

“Listen, my alpha and I broke up and it turns out that all of our friends were really his friends and I need someone to help me through–”

“No,” Harry practically shouts, the word bursting out of him unbidden. He cringes when he sees the shock on Niall’s face, his pale skin flushing lightly. “I’m sorry, but my answer has to be no. I don’t help omegas through heats. I’m really sorry, Liam knows that, so I don’t know why he would give you the idea–”

“It’s not heat, Harry,” Niall interrupts. “It’s depri.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

Touch deprivation makes a lot of sense now that Harry thinks about it. Niall seems generally unwell; he appears to be weak, his skin is pallid and his lips look chapped, and his breathing is ragged. He’s wearing a cozy-looking sweatshirt, but even over FaceTime, he kind of seems cold, hunched over with his arms wrapped around his body. Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.

Oh.

[vaguely-concerned]

X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  

 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

-          remy                           rogue

                              🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 

baby u r my

 ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau 

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 

birds of a feather motherfucker  

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all) 

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

[i-prefer-the-term-antihero]

Additionally, your thoughts on Dracula and Adrian from the Netflix adaptation of Castlevania? I find Dracula really tragic, and the ending scene of Season 2 crushed me because I was not expecting Adrian to cry. He’s usually so stoic and calm that I didn’t think he would weep, I expected him to just shrug it off like heroes usually do, but no, when given time to process everything, the first thing he does is break down into tears. Sypha was right in calling him a brooding teen in an adult body.

Ohh man. If you just take a look at my writing blog (or anywhere I post my fanfiction) it’ll become pretty clear pretty quickly how I feel about them XD So far all my Castlevania fics have been about the Tepes Family. Adrian and Drac are my favorite characters in the series!! (Though I do love pretty much all the characters in it.)

YES YES YES!!

They did an incredible job making Drac sympathetic and tragic. I don’t know if you know anything about the games, and granted, they couldn’t put a lot of story stuff in the games, but (at least as far as I’m aware) in most of them it’s like “ya, he was an evil dude who did evil things because he was evil.” So it actually would have been pretty accurate to the source to make him just an unsympathetic, irredeemable villain, but they didn’t and I LOVE them for it. Playing Symphony of the Night (Alucards game) after watching the series l was almost longing for that Drac I know and love from the series, (though it’s fun to see evil Drac too).

As I’ve said, I adore redeemable villains, and they did an amazing job with him, to the point where pretty much everyone in the fandom adores him, which is extremely tough to accomplish—even if you write a redeemable villain well, often large parts of the fandom don’t see it and hate the character. I knew that the point was that they were going to defeat Drac but I have to say, especially since I originally knew nothing of the games, I was hoping they’d save him by the end.

I think the fact that he liked and was kind to Hector and Isaac was evidence that he wasn’t too far gone. I mean, the only two people he genuinely trusted and liked in his court were human…that’s so interesting, I wish it was at least talked about, either in the show or in the fandom. I think he actually liked humans, partially or especially because of Lisa, he just...was so angry, and needed someone to blame. He probably ultimately blamed himself for not being there to save her, and it was just easier to blame the humans he once hated/didn’t understand, even if in reality he didn’t hate them as much as he thought he did...

Doing more thinking and research into the show for my “If These Walls Could Talk” fic I recognize now that symbolically it made sense even within the show that he died when Lisa died (which I can explain more about if you want but id probably end up going off on a long tangent so I’ll save it)...but I still thought practically, in the show, he could have still been redeemed.

Omg I LOVED that. The longer I take to sit with it, the more I realize just how much I loved that they put him crying instead of shaking it off.

It’s very interesting that Drac and Alucard are more openly emotional characters. I might be totally wrong, but as far as I remember, they (...and Lisa when she dies, and probably Isaac in a flashback), are the only main characters we see openly cry. It’s a pretty bold move to make any of your characters emotional like that, but especially your villain, and your bold handsome hero. It’s sooo easy to get emotional characters and emotions wrong…or just offputting to some people...but more on that later.

I think Adrian and Drac are both rather sentimental, in an odd way. Much of Drac’s motivations in the show and even in the games (the times his motivations are explained) had to do with his wives (yes he was married before Lisa in the games...unless Lament of Innocence was retconned...) which is interesting. So many of his decisions are based on emotion. He lets Lisa in just because he likes her, he goes to war with the world because of Lisa, he sits in his study mourning her loss, he let’s Alucard kill him… I also notice very often he digs his nails into his palms until they bleed, presumably because if he didn’t he’d hurt someone else (in the scene where he hurts Alucard, he does this). His sentimentality doesn’t diminish is power as a villain, which is SO difficult to accomplish.

 I am emotional myself so I absolutely love to see emotional characters, but for most people, seeing even a normal character be emotional diminishes them in their eyes, or makes them whiny, so making your villain even a little emotional, and having that not take away from the audiences perception of their power as a villain is sooooooo hard to do, and I applaud them for making a so well-beloved, and still villainous and intimidating, but also emotional (at times) villain.

For Alucard. I don’t see any problem with him being emotional, but it makes even more sense if he’s a teen in an adult’s body—which was indeed portrayed quite well.

Yes that was interesting when he cried when drawing his parents!! I wasn’t expecting that when I saw him drawing them. I was enjoying and intrigued by his story so much, then when he started crying I was caught off guard—but in a good way. It really made me feel for him, and understand that he was still grieving his mother, and that knew the gravity of what he was currently doing.

I think it’s kind of important to show that kind of thing in a situation like this. It’s easy to think Alucard hates his dad, and they need to show the emotion of the situation to make it clear “no he doesn’t hate his dad, this actually breaks his heart, he just knows he has to do this.”

I loved when he was telling Trevor and Sypha about how much the world would lose by killing Dracula. It’s really interesting that he hides his emotion with them, and that Trevor and Sypha are so stoic. The son of Dracula isn’t the guy you expect to be the only hero who cries.

In “For Love” when Trevor’s like “Don’t get weepy about it” I was sitting there, sobbing, like “No, please get weepy about it! Let the boy cry for goodness sake!! Give me some emotion!!” But I too was not expecting him to cry like he did, and in grieving the death of his parents...

I knew the crying scene was coming because I’d seen pictures of it on here and pinterest, but I had no context for it. In the end it wasn’t just the weeping itself that made the scene so impactful, it was everything surrounding it. I didn’t know it would happen when he was completely alone (and would be for the foreseeable future), and in grieving his parents, or about the ghosts/flashbacks before it (cementing his grief), or that it was literally the last scene of the season, or that there would be no music for both the scene and the credits thereafter.

And that was what really got me.

Because, firstly, we never got to see any flashbacks to his childhood, and that was what I was begging for the entire series (and hence why its what I write about). To finally get it, and it not to just be something the audience gets to see, but something Alucard himself is seeing... a happy memory he’s seeing when he knows that is completely gone, he cannot hope to have it again, and for him to now be in his father’s place…that’s heartbreaking. Like just having your character cry—let alone those kinds of full-on sobs—is painful enough, showing a son grieving his parents is a particularly heart wrenching kind of sadness, but showing that he is haunted by memories of those parents he lost—not only lost but one of which he killed, and, if SOTN is canon for the show, the other of which he could have saved—of a happy childhood, and he is alone with these memories for the foreseeable future...that is truly heart wrenching.

Also the scene with Trevor and Sypha in the wagon earlier in the episode was super sweet, they could have easily put the Adrian crying scene earlier, and had the Trevor and Sypha scene be the last scene of the season (and Trevor’s game actually does end with them looking into the sunset, so ending with the last scene of “For Love” would be accurate as well), and left it on a positive note, and the audience would have been left with a completeness. But they made a conscious choice put his crying scene last, and it was so powerful, because it made you remember that at the end of the day, he isn’t just our bold handsome hero, he was a son who lost both his parents, and that, to him, this isn’t really a triumph, but a loss. It also kinda confirmed that Drac wasn’t an "evil guy, end of story". That there was reason to grieve him, and to show his son grieving, and to leave it there because of it. It was a personal gravity too

In the end, it was the lack of music in the scene, and even more so during the credits, so theres only his tears, and all you are left with in the end is this amplified emptiness that really did me in. I think I literally sat there, tear tracks on my face, my mouth open when I hit the credits.

Playing Symphony of the Night after watching the show is really interesting in exploring his character. I knew there was very little story, so I wasn’t expecting much from the story, but I actually found that I was beyond excited whenever there actually was some story, and the few lines they did say are stuck with me.

Maria comments early on that Alucard’s not very good at talking. At first I just chalked it up to...weird translations or whatever. But the more I played the game and the more I thought about him in the show...I think she’s right. He’s not very good at talking, yet if and when he does talk he’s quite eloquent, and precise with his words. (This actually makes him a somewhat difficult character to write). I wonder if perhaps this has some connection to his emotionalness. He’s very careful with what he says, and this may spread to what he does—such as being careful when he shows emotion. I’m curious why he’s like this. It could just be his nature, but I wonder if as a kid he was ever hated because he was a vampire—maybe people made fun of him, and he cried, and they made more fun of him because of it—and he learned both to hide his emotions, and that he had to be very deliberate and show people he didn’t mean any ill will with his words. (And he looks older than he is so people might call him immature for acting his mental age). All very speculative, of course. But it’d be fun to write about!

Also, another thing from SOTN that is related to this topic, there was a fight that really struck me (enough I actually wrote a fic about it (inverted recurrence)). SOTN takes plays 300 years after the events of The Netflix Series (aka Dracula’s Curse). Most of the bosses don’t seem to have a lot of meaning story-wise, they’re just there for you to fight. The other day I (Alucard) walked into a boss room...and there were Trevor, Sypha, and Grant (who was omitted from the Netflix series). They were fake versions of them, of course. And there’s no dialogue in the fight so maybe I’m just speculating, but what struck me was that the fact that Dracula could use them against him probably means he still cares about them, even after 300 years. It probably also means that they’re some of the only friends he’s ever had. Granted, he was asleep for a good chunk of those 300 years, still. It goes back to that sentimental-ness I was talking about earlier.

I few years ago I watched the Gravity Falls commentaries, and from them I got a lot of the writing advice I still think about and use today. Alex Hirsch said something on this subject which I really liked which is “Hold your tears.” When a character cries they’ve broken, that’s as far as they can go. So if you make a character cry when the audience themselves doesn’t feel the weight of the scene, or it doesn’t feel like the character has broken yet, it can feel like too...much/cheesy, and distance the audience. especially with cartoons where the way it’s drawn can actually affect your sympathy for the character (it can look weird or accentuated).

They did such an awesome job with this by literally holding his tears until the very end. I don’t know how other, non-emotional people felt about it, but Ive don’t know if I’ve ever seen tears used so well in a show, pack such a punch. To have it not just be a part of the scene but literally the focus, and at the end...it was powerful.

Sorry for the long response, and more importantly, I’m beyond sorry for taking so so SOOO long to respond. I hope you enjoy my response, if you see it <3

P.S. For anyone else who made it all the way to the end, I actually have a Castlevania sideblog now: @symphonyofthewrite !! I’d be beyond happy to recieve asks like this over there, if you’d like to hear more of my thoughts!!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Justice League review

Sometimes when you expect the worst, you get the best instead. At the very least, you can get something a hell of a lot better than expected, and I have to say, that is most definitely the case here. Justice League is a movie I went in expecting to be a bit disappointed in; it has the clashing styles of dark, intense Zach Snyder and goofy, snarky Joss Whedon, it’s the sequel to some very contentious films (films I enjoy but realize are not the top of the superhero film pecking order), and has tons of awful CGI that looks more at home in a Syfy original movie than a superhero film. Yet despite all this, or maybe even BECAUSE of all this, I greatly enjoyed Justice League.

The story is pretty simple: something is coming, and that something is Steppenwolf, a warrior from Apokolips who wishes to conquer and terraform Earth in the name of his lord and master Darkseid (who is sadly only namedropped once in the whole film). Batman decides it’s time to get a team together to stop this shit, so he tries to recruit Aquaman, Flash, and Cyborg to his team. Wonder Woman joins up with him and Flash happily comes along, but the other two turn out a bit trickier to persuade. Can the team come together in time to stop Steppenwolf, or is this born-to-be-wild Apokolips native gonna be taking Earth on a magic carpet ride to Hell?

So, let me just start off by saying that this movie is pretty messy. This is obviously due to the tragic death of Snyder’s daughter, which caused him to step away and have Joss “Cheatin’” Whedon come in and fuck the tone of the film up in reshoots. Alright, alright, that’s a bit of an exaggeration; as much as I loathe Whedon, he did some good here, and I didn’t really mind the tone clashing that much. To me, it just added to the movies charm, and kind of felt like a good transitional point: BVS was a very dark, grim story, the dawn of justice, so to speak. There was still darkness, but the light was coming. And here in this film that light is coming in full force, the morning sun come to vanquish the horrible night. So yeah, I can dig it. I can’t dig that stupid fucking “landing in Wonder Woman’s boobs” joke, but Flash’s embarrassed face afterwards was too cute for me to be mad at. And I can’t lay all the blame on Whedon either. For instance, it was Snyder who cast Amber Heard as Mera, and in her single scene, she managed to give a performance that rivals Jennifer Lawrence in the X-Men prequel trilogy in terms of awfullness. She gives a wooden, generic performance that has me praying for a Flashpoint movie if only so I can see Gal Gadot cut her stupid fucking head off. Snyder is also responsible for the divisive villain Steppenwolf, but…

...You see, I actually kind of liked him. Steppenwolf is a weird choice, especially when there are so many more interesting Apokolips residents you could send to fight, such as Granny Goodness. Steppenwolf is a choice that baffles me when you have so many more famous characters you could be using here. DC does not have the problems Marvel had when starting the MCU; Marvel’s most iconic villains and heroes were off in the hands of Sony and Fox, and Marvel had to use their B-listers to turn them into icons. DC has no such problem. We could have had Starro be the villain, or Granny Goodness, or really just about any big cosmic threat from DC you could think of. Instead we get the relatively obscure Steppenwolf, and instead of going for his corny Robin Hood-esque outfit from the comics, they instead opt for the clunky black-and-grey armor routine we previously saw with Ares in Wonder Woman.

But I said I liked him, yeah? And despite spending an entire paragraph ranting about him, I actually do. You see, unlike Ares before him, Steppenwolf actually gets a lot of scenes throughout the film, and while his character is about as deep as a puddle on a hot summer’s day, boy howdy is he the most perfect trashy sci-fi villain you can imagine. Ciarán Hinds truly sells this generic villain as a menacing threat despite his very generic motives. The best comparisons I can give is that Wolfie here is a lot like Ronan the Accuser of Guardians of the Galaxy, Kaecillius from Doctor Strange, or Apocalypse from X-Men: Apocalypse. None of those villains I mentioned are particularly deep, but their actors give them weight and presence even though the script and the story don’t seem to. I’d say Steppenwolf can sit at their table; he’s simple, but he’s fun in a trashy B-movie way. All his snarling about his “mother” (as in the Mother Boxes, not Martha this time) really helps. It lends him an old school cheesy charm.

Now, what of our core cast of heroes? As usual, I have nothing but good things to say about Affleck and Gadot. They easily carry this film on their shoulders when it seems like things might start to slack a bit, and they are, as far as I’m concerned, the definitive versions of their respective characters. Wonder Woman and Batman have never been as good on the silver screen. And then we come to Cavill as Superman. I’ve always liked him, but in hindsight I feel like the stories he has been in have kind of failed his character. Superman is a bright, optimistic, shining paragon of truth, justice, and the American Way. And here, in Justice League, he gets to be that for the first time on film in decades. Superman, after getting brought back to life (it’s not really a spoiler, it’s the most obvious thing in the world) and having a badass scene where he beats the shit out of the League in confusion, gets to be his stronghearted, corny, heroic self, and Cavill cements himself as my favorite live-action performance of the Man of Steel.

And what of the newcomers? Of the lot, my favorite is Aquaman, who is a laid-back, funloving jackass with a dirty mouth and a generally carefree attitude. He’s easily the most enjoyable new character in the movie, and Jason Momoa plays him to perfection. I’m super excited to see how he does in his solo film; his portrayal here gives me faith Momoa can manage. The other two newcomers are a bit more of a mixed bag, but let me say, they aren’t AWFUL. Flash here is really the biggest love-or-hate ele,ment, as he makes a lot of jokes, about 50% of which are really cringey and miss their mark, with the other 50% being genuinely funny. Flash has a bit of an interesting character thing going on with his relation to his dad, but this isn’t fully utilized, and Flash is basically there to do all the fast running, and it IS cool when he does. On the plus side, we have an awesome scene where we see him running, and when he runs, time outside his run slows down… except this is when he’s fighting Superman, and you see Clark turn his head towards Flash as he runs and the ensuing reaction from Flash before… well, it’s the minus side: he crashes. Flash crashes a lot in this movie, and it’s annoying.

Cyborg is a similarly divisive character. He definitely grew on me as the film went on; at first my brain rejected him because I’m so used to Khary Payton’s portrayal of him on Teen Titans. He did grow on me and I like him alright, but I feel he really wasn’t given a lot to do in this movie and his character wasn’t explored to any great extent. This is really the flaw of doing these kind of big teamup movies without several films worth of buildup, though I will say that at the very least we get a good basis for the characters who are new, better than what we were given in Suicide Squad at any rate. It’s a serviceable introduction, but boy do I wish we got a little more. And if you think there’s some MCU bias here, this is the kind of problem I had with Age of Ultron too, as well as Iron Man 2, where they introduce so many new characters and do absolutely nothing with them while expecting us to care. Though, again, I will say Justice League does this a lot better than either of those movies as well.

A couple of things I didn’t really get into were the CGI quality and the humor overall; I actually burst out laughing at a few of the jokes, so it evened out with some of the cringier jokes, and while a lot of the CGI in this film was incredibly awful for a multi-million dollar film, I’ve seen worse, and the overall product is still enjoyable. Then there are some things it’s not even worth touching, like the complaints about the Amazons outfits. I can’t believe something so stupid and inconsequential actually became a point of discourse.

So, overall, this is a good movie. It’s not as good as Wonder Woman, but this is yet another step in the right direction for the DCEU. This was fun, entertaining, filled with likable characters… it’s like the polar opposite of Suicide Squad. That film was filled with poorly-developed douches with cheesiness enhancing it to the point the film is only enjoyable as so bad it’s good or trashy cult classic at best (keep in mind I DO have a soft spot for Suicide Squad, I’m just painfully aware of its numerous failures); meanwhile, this film has likable characters with decent enough development and cheesy campiness that honestly enhances the film to the point it feels like a sci-fi action film of old at some points. This is a pretty damn good movie, and one of the better hero teamup films. I hope the DCEU can learn from what worked best about this film and apply it to their upcoming projects, because if they do I think they’ll make more classics to rival the MCU. I definitely recommend checking this film out if you enjoy superhero movies, because this one is, despite or even because of its flaws, a lot of fun.

The post-credits scene has Luthor and Deathstroke meet up to start plotting to create a Legion of Doom. This is an interesting development, one I hope they actually follow up on unlike all that “Knightmare” bullshit from BVS. It might give Eisenberg room to actually grow and develop into his role as Luthor; his brief appearance here certainly seemed a lot more tolerable, though he had about one minute of screentime, so who knows. One more thing: there are rumors around that there’s actually a director’s cut that follows Snyder’s vision more closely, and honestly, I’d be interested to see it if only for comparison’s sake. I mean, we have two versions of Superman II, so why not Justice League?

Whatever the case, I’m happy the DCEU is doing some good shit now.

[tylerhoechlin]

Back From the Brink

Dylan O’Brien was groomed to be Hollywood’s next young leading man. Then a tragic accident made him question everything.

Dylan O’Brien knows you want to know what happened to him.

Some people search his face for scars. Others ask the 26-year-old actor questions about the accident in 2016 that nearly cut short his career and could have ended his life. For more than a year, he was able to dodge that scrutiny and recover in private. Now, with a new movie coming out and a press tour required to promote it, things are different.

“I was anticipating this for a long time,” he says over lunch at the Four Seasons in Los Angeles. “It used to really anger me, even just the thought of it. I just knew that eventually, I would have to be asked about this.”

He confesses these angry thoughts about as affably as any person could, as though he’s upset to even get upset. That doe-eyed decency has proved key to O’Brien’s screen appeal: In his breakthrough role as the lead of the Maze Runner franchise, he’s introduced in media res, thrust into a coliseum of YA terrors before we even learn who his character is. As he shakes and shivers and tries, alongside the audience, to make sense of his otherworldly predicament, you can’t help but root for him.

Not every actor can inspire that feeling in a viewer, but in O’Brien’s case, it’s so innate that the director of his new film, the action vehicle American Assassin, cast him simply after looking at his head shot. “I remember in that first discussion with my producers, names were being thrown around, and the one name I didn’t know yet was Dylan’s,” says Michael Cuesta. “I Googled him, I saw his picture, and I just said instinctively, ‘He’s right.’ There was an innocence and a vulnerability to him, and I hadn’t even seen his work yet. It’s an instinct you just have to trust.”

Cuesta wasn’t the only one besotted. At a time when Hollywood likes to import most of its young leading men from overseas — like Spider-Man’s Tom Holland, Star Wars breakout John Boyega, and an entire family of Hemsworths — The Maze Runner established O’Brien as a rare homegrown movie star. His profile grew ever larger while he shot the sequels to The Maze Runner and neared the end of his time on the MTV series Teen Wolf, and as work began on the third and final Maze Runner film, O’Brien started to look ahead to the future.

And then, just days into shooting that sequel, O’Brien was seriously injured in a stunt gone wrong. Pulled from one vehicle, he was reportedly struck by another, leaving him with a concussion, facial fracture, and brain trauma among his injuries. Production shut down for several weeks, then indefinitely. O’Brien withdrew from public view during his recovery as rumors flew that he might not return to the film. Half a year went by as O’Brien tried to heal and, at the lowest point in his life, mulled whether he wanted to continue his career at all. “I really was in a dark place there for a while and it wasn’t an easy journey back,” says O’Brien. “There was a time there where I didn’t know if I would ever do it again … and that thought scared me, too.”

Now, though, he is ready to talk about it.

“In a lot of ways, those six months went by like that,” he says, snapping his fingers. “And then, in a lot of ways, I can still remember that six months as if it was five years of my life.”

…………………………

Ask most young actresses when they wanted to become a movie star, and it won’t even be a question: They’ve been planning for it their whole lives. Kristen Stewart has been acting since she was a preteen, and at 14, Emma Stone put together a PowerPoint presentation to convince her parents to move to Los Angeles so she could go on auditions. But young American men seem come to acting differently — or indifferently. Channing Tatum was a model and dancer who happened into commercials before becoming a movie star. Chris Pratt happily toiled in obscurity as a Bubba Gump waiter in Hawaii when he was convinced by a customer to act in her film.

O’Brien’s foray into the industry was similarly unplanned. His parents had the expertise — O’Brien’s mother taught an acting class, while his father moved the family to California when O’Brien was 12 so he could pursue work as a camera operator — but in high school, he played drums in a jazz band instead of signing up for drama class. Like many of his classmates, though, O’Brien had a habit of posting videos to YouTube. They’re still there today: Check out his user page at “moviekidd826” and you can watch all 14 of his short comic sketches. Some of them are fairly simple, like his too-enthusiastic lip sync to the Spice Girls song “Wannabe,” and one of the uploaded clips is a teen staple, the video he made to ask a girl to prom.

Still, the shorts are clever and surprisingly narrative-driven, and O’Brien is a deft comic performer in all of them. He wouldn’t have thought of what he was doing as acting — he was just being himself, after all. But it’s exactly that unvarnished quality that made him so appealing, and as the videos began to circulate, he was signed by a woman who is still his manager today. Soon enough, he was being sent out to audition for projects like Valentine’s Day and Wizards of Waverly Place.

He hadn’t grown up knowing that he wanted to be an actor, but give O’Brien some credit: Once he figured that out, he committed hard. “My first semester of college, I’m going to sociology and English and psychology and all I cared about was getting home and preparing for whatever audition I had,” he says. “I’d be on IMDb looking at projects in development that I’d be right for and I’d send them to my manager and be like, ‘What’s going on with this?’” His ambition often outstripped his experience. “I was obsessed with having one of those auditions finally work out, and I was very impatient,” he recalls, laughing. “My manager would be like, ‘You have to understand, this could take years.’ And I was like, ‘No, no, no, I’m going to get one of these.’”

Only a few months after his high-school graduation, that’s exactly what happened. O’Brien was cast on Teen Wolf, a fledgling MTV series based on the campy 1980s movie. This version skewed darker and filled its cast with hunks, with the howls meant to come from the audience each time a sexy werewolf stripped off his shirt. It was a notable hit for MTV, and though O’Brien was cast as the human best friend — not as the protagonist, Scott, or as any of the eye-candy beasts on the show — the role was a good fit for his boy-next-door charm. He wasn’t just Scott’s friend. He felt like yours, too.

“That show really became my school in a lot of ways,” says O’Brien. “I never took a second on set for granted. Even on my first day on the pilot, when my work finished for the day but then they were going to this other location to shoot another scene, I just went with them.” As a cable show, Teen Wolf filmed only five months out of the year, so O’Brien had plenty of time to hop on to other projects: He took Zooey Deschanel’s virginity in a New Girl flashback and popped up on the big screen in films like the teen romance The First Time and the Vince Vaughn–Owen Wilson comedy The Internship. “I would want to get on as many sets as I could,” he said. “And I was still very much ambitious about being in movies, too.”

In 2013, the year after The Hunger Games hit big, O’Brien was cast as the lead in another book-to-film YA franchise, The Maze Runner. The rare $100 million hit toplined by a young actor under 25, it propelled O’Brien onto studio short lists and led to more work in bigger movies, including Peter Berg’s Deepwater Horizon and a Maze Runner sequel, The Scorch Trials. 20th Century Fox picked up an action comedy with O’Brien attached, a sign of his growing clout, and as Cuesta looked for someone to play black-ops recruit Mitch Rapp in American Assassin, based on a popular book series by the late Vince Flynn, he alighted on O’Brien.

“He looks like a boy next door, like my son’s older friends,” says Cuesta. “Like a young man who has one foot in that postadolescent place and is about to cross over into adulthood and take that rite of passage.”

In March 2016, just as O’Brien headed to Vancouver to film Maze Runner: The Death Cure, he committed to star in American Assassin, which would represent his biggest break so far from youth-driven fare. He planned to film that after wrapping The Death Cure, squeeze in some time to shoot Teen Wolf’s farewell season, and move on to the movies that studios had been setting up for him.

“To see him blossom in his career and see what he was taking on, it was amazing to watch,” says O’Brien’s father, Patrick. “And then to see that broken … it was hard.”

…………………………

O’Brien would rather not relive the particulars of his accident. “There’s really been one or two people who have tried to dig and find out what happened and I cut it off,” he says. “And I’m comfortable with where I draw the line.”

What’s known is that after that stunt on the set of The Death Cure went awry and production shut down on March 18, 2016, the studio planned to resume filming May 9, hoping to still make the film’s set February 2017 release date. Weeks later, though, it was clear that O’Brien’s injuries were so serious that filming could not begin again.

“I had lost a lot of function, just in my daily routine,” says O’Brien. “I wasn’t even at a point where I felt like I could handle social situations, let alone showing up and being responsible for work every day. Long hours on set, delivering a performance and carrying a movie … it just makes your palms sweat.”

O’Brien calls his recovery process “overwhelming,” though the biggest toll the accident took on him was psychological. Even if he could find his way back to the sense of stability he had before the accident, and even if those scars could heal, would he still want to return to the high-flying movie career he’d worked so hard to set up? After it all went away, he couldn’t even be sure he was the same person anymore.

“And then there was a part of me, too, that was feeling pressured and stressed out by the mere fact that I had all of these people still emailing me, checking in,” he says. “I would get so fucking mad. Like if ever I heard from a producer [who was] seeing when I’d be able to get back on set, I’d fucking go nuts. It would really, really piss me off.”

But as O’Brien recovered in private, rumors flew that his injuries were much more extensive than was reported, and the people behind the projects O’Brien had set up were forced to weigh their options. Cuesta didn’t want to recast American Assassin, but he also didn’t know what state his star was in. During his recovery, O’Brien had not communicated with the production in four months.

“I didn’t want to let it go, and I also had this really interesting, deeper connection to this character over the course of those four months because of what I was going through,” says O’Brien. American Assassin begins with a freak tragedy, as Rapp’s fiancée is gunned down by terrorists during a beach vacation and dies in his arms. Lost in a rabbit hole of grief, Rapp spends the next few months weaponizing his anger and decides to hunt down her killers himself. “I felt like I could portray that and wanted to be the one to do that justice — it was almost like an honor for me at that point,” O’Brien says. “But at the same time, I was still in such a fragile personal state that I had this other force telling me, like, ‘No fucking way’ that I can do it. ‘This is too soon, too soon. Tell them to leave me alone, I need more time.’”

Unfortunately, the film didn’t have much time to spare. If American Assassin didn’t go into production before a certain date, the film rights would revert back to Flynn’s estate, and if O’Brien still wanted to play Rapp, he’d have to spend two months getting into physical shape for the role. It was a daunting regimen of learning fight choreography and adding muscle to his frame that would take a lot of work for any actor, let alone one who was still reeling from his physical nadir. “I knew it wouldn’t be getting back on the horse in a light way,” says O’Brien.

And so, at the end of July, he recommitted to American Assassin. It was a signal to the industry that he wanted to work again, even if, privately, he still wondered if he’d be able to make it through. On the one hand, the time O’Brien spent in the gym with action coordinator Roger Yuan gave him something that he could focus on during those long days. But even as he grew physically stronger, O’Brien was still struggling with heavy emotional and psychological episodes during his recovery.

“Sometimes I’d literally show up at the gym having a panic attack, and my trainer would be like, ‘All right, let’s just go get breakfast,’” says O’Brien, who came to treat Yuan almost like a therapist. “I can’t give enough credit to him … he was really there for me, and not just like a trainer where it’s like, ‘Well, come on, man, I gotta pump you up.’ He cared more about my mind and the state that I was in.”

Near the end of their training, O’Brien was in the best physical shape he’d ever been, an unlikely development given the events of the last few months. But despite all that training to become Mitch Rapp, O’Brien’s anxiety only grew as the start date drew near. The day he was supposed to fly to London to prepare to film the movie, O’Brien had what he describes as an emotional breakdown in the airport. With his father and girlfriend Britt Robertson by his side, he questioned whether he could continue.

“I didn’t even think they’d let me on the plane, to be honest,” he says. “I must have looked high or something.” O’Brien’s father, who had planned to spend the first few weeks in London getting his son acclimated, proved to be the rock he needed in that moment. “I don’t think I would have been able to step onto the plane without him,” says O’Brien.

“That was a tough year for us,” says his father Patrick. “It was hard to see him like that … he’s such a special kid.” Patrick had never set foot on one of Dylan’s sets before — “I thought it was important to let it be his life and not be mine” — but on the first day Dylan shot American Assassin, he knew he had to be there. “It was mind-blowing,” says Patrick. “I was watching him from the monitors, and he was busting out 50 push-ups in between takes.”

It was all for a wordless sequence where we catch up with Mitch months after his fiancée’s death, watching him train and harden himself in his dark apartment. As O’Brien walloped on a punching bag and bust out dozens of pull-ups, the intensity was like nothing Patrick had seen from his son before: “Obviously, I’m getting concerned. I’m watching the monitors and I’m seeing the stress he’s putting on his body and his face and all the places that have been of some concern of late.”

When Cuesta called “cut,” Patrick walked past the first assistant director and up to Dylan. “I was almost nose to nose with him, and I’m not sure he saw me right away. He was in it, as much as you can be in it. And I said, ‘Dylan?’ He looked at me and kind of focused. And I said, ‘Are you okay?’ And he said, ‘I’m good.’”

“If he didn’t have the accident,” says Cuesta, “would he have connected that well with Mitch? I don’t know, but it definitely brought truth to it.”

O’Brien acknowledges that, too. “I’d just been through a lot that summer and the fact that you spend all this time not even knowing if you can do that again …” He pauses, and swallows. “Even right now, it’s just kind of hard to talk about.”

It helps, he says, that Patrick came aboard for the rest of the shoot as a camera operator, staying by his side when he needed him most. With his father there, he could be fearless. “I would just think about where I was at psychologically in June and July, how insurmountable the task seemed to me,” says O’Brien. “And then just to be there on the last day knowing that I did it, with my dad there at my side, it was just a really, really great feeling.”

“He’s in a good place now,” says Patrick. “And nothing makes a parent happier.”

…………………………

O’Brien doesn’t sugarcoat his recovery. Sitting in front of me at lunch, he looks every inch the movie star he was before: hair tousled, eyes bright, his face covered only by stubble. He is candid about what it took to get to this point, though, and even after filming American Assassin, the question remained: Was he ready to finish Maze Runner: The Death Cure, putting to bed the series that had given him so much and taken plenty, too?

“Nothing inside of you wants to go back to that,” O’Brien admits. “It took a lot of deep searching past those gut instincts that I was having just because of the trauma that I experienced to realize that I did want to finish it.”

Did he consider asking the studio to move on without him? “I wouldn’t have been ultimately happy with that, I don’t think. In the moment, it would have been a temporary relief because I would have run from it, but it would have always stuck with me a little bit … I knew it was going to be really hard, harder than Assassin probably, but [I thought] if I got through that, I can get through this, and I think I’ll come out of the other side being really happy that I did it. And I did.”

He resumed filming The Death Cure in March, which is now set for release in January 2018. His father followed him to South Africa, where the movie was shot, and was made a co-producer on the film; O’Brien now counts it among his best experiences on a project. He even found time to return to the final season of Teen Wolf, which had written around his absence while he recovered. The series finale of that show will air on September 24, and soon enough, every obligation O’Brien had set before his accident will be behind him.

“Coming out of the other side of all this is basically a whole new chapter, and I think I will be going about it differently,” he says. “I’m excited to have more balance going forward. Like, I’m not somebody I don’t think who’s going to do three or four movies a year and feel like I have to constantly pump them out. I think there’s something to be said about pacing yourself.”

In the meantime, he’s bought his first house, which gives him a little stability in an uncertain industry. He recently threw a party there to celebrate his 26th birthday — “It turned into more of a rager than I intended it to be,” he laughs — and an hour into it, O’Brien and his friends were already jumping off the roof into his pool. It’s a future that he could not have imagined just a year and a half ago.

“I’m excited to see what comes my way, see what I’m interested in next, and just see what happens,” says O’Brien. After Teen Wolf and The Maze Runner conclude, it’s wide-open space. “It’s the first time that I’ll be operating in my career without those two roles, really.”

He thinks about it and smiles. “It’s good, though, to not have that safety net.”

[source: Vulture]

[pinkipie100]

Lance and the 25 Days Chapter III: Mall

It’s Ficcember Chapter III! Ha ha, nice job posting as late as possible again, requiring another morning reblog, Pinki, absolutely typical! Many apologies, but this weekend was ENTIRELY busy. I was barely home and had to do all my writing in the late afternoon, and in classic Pinki fashion, as I continue to write, I tend to ramble on and on and draw my plots out in a more complex manner than is necessary. BUT F*CK IT, IT’S THE HOLIDAY SEASON!!!

Team Voltron has arrived at their belovéd Space Mall, and it’s time to do some holiday shopping in a place that is guaranteed to have absolutely nothing that they are looking for!

Words: 2576

Category: Gen

Contains: Lance in a hat, thirsty hungry Shiro, Luki, DreamTeam™ Hidge/Punk, Excited Alteans, belief in Santa Clause, Distressed Christmas Mom™ Lance

Trigger Warning: peppermint bark deprivation

Takes place after Chapter II’s wormhole jump, when the team has arrived at the Space Mall.

P. S. Extra credit to anyone who can identify the probably-obscure reference I’m making with the ‘I made it’ line.

The Castle of Lions was parked near the Space Mall, and all of the paladins and Coran had arrived in the mall. Lance, Santa hat atop his head, lead them to the main plaza, then turned around, stepping up on a bench to brief the team.

“Okay, everyone, let’s go over it one more time,” he began. “Shiro, what are you in charge of?” Shiro answered that he was responsible for looking for decorations. “Great. Hunk, Pidge, what are you guys doing?” The pair confirmed that they would be on the lookout for items to make their holiday dinners with. “Exactly. Coran, Allura?” The boy drawled the latter’s name with an extremely friendly smirk, and both Alteans energetically announced that they were going with Lance to search for a tree and learn more about Christmas gift-giving traditions on the way. “Awesome! So, we all know what we’re doing. Everyone will do their assigned shopping first, and after a varga, we can all split off how we want to buy presents for the other team members.” Shiro coughed, making meaningful eye contact with Lance. “Also, don’t forget to buy Keith a gift,” Lance recalled firmly. When the other team members expressed confusion, Lance elaborated, “I’m going to make sure Keith,” Lance made sure to practically spit the other teen’s name, “is going to join us for the holidays. So… everyone has to get him a Chri- um… Shiro, he does celebrate Christmas, right?”

Shiro hesitated for a moment, then responded, “Uh, yes. Yes, he does.” Shiro looked rather unsure when he said this, and Lance asked if Shiro knew whether or not Keith was Jewish, to which he responded, “No, I know he isn’t Jewish.” Pidge appeared to sink just slightly.

“In any case, we’re going to all buy a present for Keith. So just get, like, a knife or something,” Lance instructed. The corner of his lip upturned just so after the jibes at his rival he so fondly missed making. The red paladin then called for the team to fan out, and he jumped down from his pedestal to join Coran and Allura.

Shiro casually window-shopped  through the wings of the Space Mall, seeing very little that could be considered ‘festive’ for either Hanukkah or Christmas. Shiro was beginning to think Lance had given him the hardest job… Did the red paladin think Shiro could handle this just because he was an adult? Coran should have been handling this job; he had way more knowhow of this mall that Shiro, who was here for the first time, did!

The black paladin peered at a small kiosk a little ways away, and his pupils promptly contracted whilst he gasped dramatically. It was an alien sweets stand- with something eerily similar in appearance to peppermint bark. The man gulped, tried to recollect himself, then swaggered over to the kiosk, trying his best to look nonchalant- and overdoing considerably. When he arrived, he pretended to be apathetically browsing the treats, until he came across the peppermint bark.

Shiro leaned on the kiosk surface, pointing to the delectable snack, then questioning, whilst simultaneously resisting the urge to drool, “How much is this, if I may ask?” The unilu manning the kiosk flippantly replied that it was one hundred twenty thousand GAC each, and Shiro tensed up. “Uhhh…” Shiro stuttered. “Wh-why so expensive?”

The unilu stopped filing her nails only momentarily before she continued to file away and sighed, “Look, I don’t know, man; I just work here. It’s probably, like, really hard to procure or… like, rare, or whatever.”

Can’t argue with that… Shiro agreed. The black paladin felt his guts tearing themselves asunder as he struggled to determine whether or not it was worth it. For just one, one single taste of home, Shiro might kill a man. But at the same time, he only had so much money to do shopping for, and he still had to buy the presents along with the décor. Lance would be so disappointed if Shiro came back empty-handed, and it was the least Shiro owed the red paladin in light of Lance promising to have Keith come over for their celebrations. At the unilu’s impatient prodding for Shiro to hurry up and buy something, Shiro made a strained decision.

Forgive me, Voltron, for I have sinned… the black paladin thought as he paid the kiosk worker and picked out a piece of peppermint bark. He then swiftly turned away, gazed lovingly at the alluring, candy cane crumble-topped sweet, and, with a tear in his eye, he took a bite of the… rock? Shiro’s teeth clacked against solid, tasteless stone, and the alleged peppermint pieces punctured the roof of his mouth. He yelped and flinched his hand away from his mouth, taking a closer look at the holiday treat.

“Dude, like, why are you eating that gemstone?” the unilu called from behind Shiro. At the paladin’s flabbergasted, ‘what?’ the worker reiterated, “The Anbytorian Gemstone that you just bought! Why the heck did you just try to eat it?!”

Shiro, trying and failing to keep his face neutral, whined in a wobbly voice, “This is… a rock?” The unilu nodded boredly, and Shiro’s eyes welled up. “No… no reason…” he uttered, and he walked away shamefully and with a broken heart.

“Weirdo,” the unilu working at the jewelry kiosk rolled her eyes.

Seriously, I think finding a tree or some holiday foods would be one thousand times easier than finding decorations, only to be tricked into buying some expensive-as-quiznack peppermint bark that isn’t even edible, Shiro thought tragically, staring down at the gemstone in his hands. Suddenly, he got an idea, and immediately brightened up. He rushed back to the kiosk, and slammed his palms on the table surface, enthusiastically asking, “Excuse me, but where can I find an Anbytorian-themed shop?”

“This smells just like cherries!” Pidge called to Hunk, holding up a basket of yellow, spring-shaped fruits.

“I found something that works just like oil,” Hunk called back, “only it works even faster!”

“Powdered sugar equivalent!” Pidge declared, purchasing a few bags of light green edible powder.

“Eggs for the sufganiyah dough!” Hunk mentioned, displaying a bag of strange, transparent-cyan embryos in a clear fluid.

“This restaurant had something almost exactly like corn syrup that we could use for making candy canes!” Pidge pointed out.

“This kitchen has a giant apple that tastes exactly like roast beef!” Hunk showed off.

“Whoo, we’re on a roll!” Pidge cheered, hauling an applesauce substitute into her bag. Hunk high-fived her in agreement, smirking at her.

“You know, I was thinking. Maybe we could do more than just cook meals for ourselves,” Hunk mused to his shorter friend. When Pidge expressed curiosity, the yellow paladin stated further, “Since there are so many displaced refugees on Olkarion, I figure it might be a nice gesture for Team Voltron to cook a feast for them. You know, maybe just for a night.”

“Hm, that sounds like a great idea… The… most selfless idea I’ve ever heard… but, who would cook it?” the green paladin inquired. Hunk blankly stared at Pidge, then proclaimed that he would, of course. “Hunk for all of those people? That’s a tall order, even for you!”

Hunk agreed that it would be quite the feat, so he may need some assistant cooks. He could enlist the help of a few Olkari if they were willing, plus Lance knew how to cook somewhat well.

“When would we host it?” Pidge finally wondered.

After some deliberation, Hunk proposed, “What about the night before Christmas? That way we could unwind on after a big Voltron event, and we would already have the Christmas dinner cooked. It won’t conflict with Hanukkah, either, and we could spend the days between the two doing some cooking ahead.”

Pidge nodded in approval and suggested, “This may just be my Jewish side wanting to put my two cents in, but what do you say I… I don’t know, light some candles and hang some lanterns in the trees around the forest, and that’s where we could host the feast?” Hunk complied with her idea spiritedly, and the two shared an immensely warm smile, then high-fived again. Afterwards, Pidge pointed to another food court up ahead, and the friends hurried along.

Hunk clenched up, however, stopping Pidge in her tracks. “Not this food court,” Hunk wheezed out, shielding the side of his face with his hand and marching right past the food court that held Vrepit Sal’s in it, and Pidge followed suit.

“Santa does all of that in one night?” Coran gasped in disbelief.

Lance reaffirmed Santa Claus’s capabilities, claiming how he just makes sure to stay on track with each time zone while he made his rounds through each chimney. He also reminded the Alteans that Santa was also magic, so if he was running behind schedule, he just slowed time down by a little bit.

“You say that Santa Claus is immortal?” Allura pondered, and Lance nodded to this, saying that the guy had just been old for a very long while. “Shiro also said that he breaks into your house. Isn’t that a bad thing?”

“No, no, Allura! Shiro doesn’t know what he’s talking about- Santa doesn’t need to break into your house because of magic! Plus, he goes down the chimney- burglars break your door open. It’s different,” Lance waved off, flipping his head and causing the fluffy white ball of his had to bob.

Coran observed this and commented, “Where did you get that?”

“I made it,” Lance voiced, smiling in Coran’s direction.

Allura requested that Lance describe the process of gift-giving further as the Cuban boy browsed some statuettes at a kiosk. Lance turned his nose up and revealed that finding gifts was the most complicated aspect of Christmas shopping or Hanukkah shopping. He held a statuette up to Allura’s eyes and asked her, “Do you think Coran would like this?” When Allura looked Coran’s way, Lance quickly corrected himself, “Don’t tell her, Coran! Allura has to figure this out by herself.” Allura, suddenly sweating, reluctantly drawled out an unsure ‘yes.’ “Coran?” Lance signaled for confirmation, and the older Altean smiled brightly and nodded in Allura’s direction. Allura jumped up in celebration, and Lance applauded her. “In a normal situation, you probably wouldn’t have Coran around to confirm whether or not he wanted this, but your intuition proved to be correct. So, you buy this and give it to him as a present. Now, another way to decide whether or not to buy something as a gift is to pay close attention to the recipient’s needs and/or wants. Coran, what’s something that Allura might have wanted in the past that she probably still wants?”

Coran thought hard, taking a moment to consider the recent past for anything Allura was particularly longing for, beside the defeat of the Galra Empire, and Allura smirked at him with narrowed eyes. Suddenly, he snapped and said, “Oh! Something… shiny,” which earned him a gasp and an ‘aw, Coran!’ from Allura.

“Excellent, Coran!” Lance gave a thumbs-up to the Altean, and then he added, “One last thing- You absolutely cannot tell the recipient of the gift what they got. That surprise has to wait until they actually open the present, okay?” His friends nodded in understanding, and Lance finished, “Okay, you’re ready. But first, we still need to find a tree…”

Lance greeted a store worker, politely inquiring about where the trio could acquire a tree of any sort. The worker, giving Lance the most bewildered look, answered him, “Why would you need to buy a tree?” Lance’s shoulders dropped, and he tried again, this time settling for any shops selling bushes, shrubs, or small plants, and the Galra reiterated, “Again, what in the name of Zarkon do you need some plant for? Sorry, kid, but we don’t have any plant life merchants… I mean, if that’s what you’d call ’em.” 

“Um, this is for something very important to my culture,” Lance declared with what was dangerously close to a snarl. “It’s for a sacred holiday- Surely you won’t refuse me service if you understood that?” The worker shrugged, unsure what Lance meant by ‘holiday,’ and left the group, leaving a very vexed Lance fuming.

The red paladin’s arms flew up into the air as he furiously ranted, “NO plant merchants?! What, has space evolved beyond the hobby of gardening?! And just walking away like that too, like a cultural holiday is trivial! This is unbelievable, it can’t be-” Lance rushed over to the nearest map and scrolled through the directories of both levels with frightening comprehension speed, then growled when he found no stores for plant purchasing. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” he squealed, the Santa hat’s ball bouncing every which way. “WE CAN’T HAVE CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A TREE! IT’S, LIKE, CENTRAL TO THE WHOLE IDEA OF CHRISTMAS!!! HOW IS SANTA GOING TO FIND US WITHOUT A TREE TO SIGNAL TO HIM? HE WON’T BE ABLE TO FIND US!”

Both Alteans put their hands on Lance’s shoulders, attempting to calm him, but he refused to stop making a scene. Allura did her best to put on a soothing voice to possibly seduce Lance into a less frustrated state, but even that was ineffective. Coran turned around to tell those staring that there was nothing to see here, but the passersby did not cease their gawking, muttering about the pointlessness of buying a tree.

“LANCE!” Allura hissed, gripping Lance’s arms painfully tight, forcing him to submit. “We will find a tree, I promise you that, just not here. There are certainly planets that we could find the tree that you’re looking for- or, rather that Santa Claus is looking for. Lance, you have to understand… The Galra don’t have much of a regard for nature anymore. In a Galra-owned mall, there’s probably little enthusiasm about gardening.”

Lance huffed, crossed his arms and tossed his head away. “That’s their dumb mistake. First thing when the Galra Empire falls completely, I’m instating a Galra-Tree Reconciliation Initiative.”

Allura giggled and patted his shoulders in apology and endearment, then suggested they just commence their gift-shopping. She claimed that the team would search elsewhere for a Christmas tree, and it would be the best one Lance had ever seen- certainly better than any Galra-provided one. Lance softened his countenance and loosened his posture, complying to the princess’s proposal.

Allura nodded in Coran’s direction, and they strolled toward one another, meeting halfway. “I’ve calmed him down, and since it’s already been roughly a varga, we’re going to split up so we can start looking for gifts to buy right now,” she explained. The princess glanced back at Lance, whom pointed the direction he was going to head out, and she and Coran waved him off. She instantly swung back to Coran, uttering to him, “Keep a close eye on him; I don’t trust him not to get worked up if he doesn’t find the gifts he’s looking for.”

“Shouldn’t you have more faith in him, Princess?” the Altean suggested.

“Under any other circumstances, I would, but…” Allura began.

“He seems a bit of a… perfectionist in this matter?” Coran finished. Allura nodded fearfully, and the older Altean affirmed, “I’ll keep him in my sights while I shop; but just to be clear, I won’t spy on him to find out what gift he’s getting you!”

“Aww!” Allura pouted.

[elizas-writing]

TV Reviews: Thirteen Reasons Why

This... was a tough one to get through.

I read the book by Jay Asher when I was 15 and fell in love, so when I heard there was going to be a Netflix series, I was all aboard and excited. But that quickly switched to concern as the criticisms came out almost immediately. I was still willing to give the benefit of the doubt and maybe some good would come out and... well, let’s start with the story.

Heads up that there may be some slight spoilers, but just in regards to discussing the graphic content of the later episodes. I’ll keep it as vague as I can, but it’s something that still needs to be talked about. If you’re still concerned about content and if it’ll trigger you, I hope this is extensive enough. And I will make a separate post for major spoilers

A small town is shaken after the sudden suicide of a teenager named Hannah Baker. With a lawsuit building up against the high school, there are more questions than answers to why Hannah did what she did. That is until one of her former classmates, Clay Jensen, receives a package of cassette tapes, starts playing one, and hears Hannah’s voice, saying if someone is listening, then they are one of the reasons why she was pushed to suicide. And the series revolves around Clay trying to figure out Hannah and find out the truth from those who hurt her.

From the get-go, anyone can tell this series was a massive expansion of the book. While the book was entirely in Clay’s perspective and he finishes all the tapes in one night, in the series, he actually interacts with the people who listened to the tapes before him, trying to uncover the truth. Each tape gets an hour long episode for Clay to slowly digest everything Hannah says, especially with anticipation building up to his own tape and how difficult it is to listen to the crap she endured. You also see multiple perspectives, including the others on the tapes, and how they were affected. Of course, there’s also the Bakers filing the lawsuit and trying to figure out their daughter, and Clay and Hannah’s relationship is also expanded. These changes are welcome and necessary if all these stories are to be told in their entirety, so I appreciate the producers knew not to cut corners, especially with the subject matter.

I liked the differences between scenes set in the past and those in the present with the former in warm tones and the latter in cool tones (and also Clay having a scar through the series). It’s obvious yet clever signs to tell when the story is being told out of order; I just like little details like that. It was also fun to watch scenes play out like a typical YA drama (indie music and all), but they don’t overstay their welcome and draw you back into the gritty reality of it all. The show doesn’t shy away to bring up subjects like slut-shaming, rape cultures and the double standards of high school girls and boys. And Tony grew on me to become one of my favorite characters of the whole show from his demeanor to his design; he’s just fascinating to see how he’s involved in all of this without actually being on any of the tapes.

Out of the many criticisms, people say Hannah committed suicide for a sick revenge fantasy rather than actual depression. Even though I don’t interpret it as such, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see where people were coming from, especially since the show plays up Hannah to likely be an unreliable narrator. But even though a ton of people listened to the tapes before Clay and were told upfront how and why they hurt Hannah, they’re still hypocritical assholes and remain in total denial of any wrongdoing even at the last episode. It reminded me a bit of Heathers and how everyone reacted to Heather Chandler’s supposed suicide right down to the memorials and going on and on about how sad and tragic she really was when in reality, everyone hated her. There’s almost a dark comedic aspect (not to the same level as Heathers) where everyone suddenly cares about the signs of suicide, blissfully ignorant that they were witnesses and enablers of Hannah’s bullying, particularly Courtney-- who I swear reminded me way too much of nearly every high school girl I knew in ASB with their high and mightiness. They were just fake. It’s still problematic as hell, but I think it’s an interpretation that needs to be taken with a grain of salt when you break down the facades these people are putting up to avoid accountability. Some definitely start reevaluating their behavior and what is and isn’t the truth with some powerfully emotional scenes, even calling each other out for their bullshit, but those still in denial are important to note as well for the true nature of people even in the face of tragedy.

Besides, it’s not really a problem with how Hannah chose to distribute her suicide note; she’s just sadly not that well written, at least compared to the rest of the cast. Everyone else has pretty clear cut signs of depression and other mental health problems, but you don’t really see that with Hannah until the last couple episodes or so. There are definitely mentions of loneliness and lack of prospects for a future, but compared to everyone else, it’s almost glanced over, which sucks because, well, she’s supposed to be one of the main focuses of the story. Some of the reasons she listed aren’t even that well explained as to how she was affected, so it leads to a number of viewers interpreting her as selfish and manipulative when we know that wasn’t supposed to happen. And yeah, I understand depression varies person to person and teenagers don’t always know how to communicate their problems and trivial things to adults can be big deals for teens-- I was a teenager once upon a time too--, but Hannah just needed way more focus rather than trying to make characters like Justin sympathetic even when they honestly don’t deserve it. There’s also a lot of inconsistencies from the characters’ actions to the messages that just muddle everything up, but I’ll save that for spoilers.

But the big talk of this show? The graphic and triggering content as you can see below (shout out to @bezukhova for making this chart, and I tried seeing about pin pointing other time slots to skip, but it’s edited with so many jump cuts, it’s near impossible).

Yes, it’s about as unnecessary as you would think and only serves for shock value. I give Netflix credit that they had the automatic warnings when they did, and I think it’s a start for an easier time for their customers to stream movies and TV shows comfortably. But... why?? Was there a reason to push it this far and even go out of their way to change Hannah’s suicide method from the book?

And yes, I did watch the Beyond the Reasons special to understand why they did what they did. They dragged on quite a bit about being “real and authentic” and “want[ing] it to be painful to watch.” For starters, if you can’t figure out that suicide and rape are horrible things in the great year of our lord 20 fucking 17, I don’t know what the hell is the matter with you; you don’t need a TV show to spoon-feed it to you. Not to mention, they’re still losing a potential audience of people who might be looking for such a fictional narrative for some form of help in their trauma and having them sit through the same things they already endured is a horrible way to go about that. I know people who flat out refuse to watch stuff like Game of Thrones because of the rape content; it doesn’t matter if the rest of the show is good. These survivors know what will likely set off an anxiety attack, and that is not a game they’re willing to play, period. It’s honestly kinda insensitive that they didn’t take that into consideration when making those scenes which sucks because it does include some interesting talks about rape culture (to an extent anyway, but again, spoilers).

There are ways to portray this content and be subtle. Compare some of this content with how it was handled in Perks of Being a Wallflower (definite spoilers if you haven’t seen the movie or read the book, but this is important to compare).

Towards the end of the story, Charlie starts having an anxiety attack when he tries to have sex with Sam. This sets off a ton of flashbacks of repressed memories of his aunt sexually abusing him shortly before dying in a car accident. And his mental state deteriorates to the point where he contemplates suicide. All you see is his aunt touching his leg and saying “don’t wake your sister.” All you see is the camera pan towards a knife on the kitchen counter (you don’t even see him pick it up) before the police break in and Charlie wakes up in a mental hospital. That’s all you need to figure out why Charlie is breaking down. No over-the-top graphic content, just subtlety because damn it, your audience is capable of critical thinking. This is how you do it without making your show a giant trigger.

And to top it all off, Thirteen Reasons Why fails to deliver clear-cut solutions to the problems presented. It’s just misery on top of misery for everyone, and if you’re trying to go for a “it gets better” message, it doesn’t work. I know the ending is super ambiguous and there’s potential for a second season, but how long can some of your audience afford to wait when all you have to offer is one link to a website? The only worthwhile stuff they talk about is about rape culture and dispelling myths and a quick guide to consent. But if teenagers have a hard time verbalizing their problems, what can they do to fix that? How can we identify signs of depression and suicide way earlier on? How can we better listen to victims and not shame them? What are the best mental health centers and hotlines to reach out to? How does someone going through similar trauma as Hannah cope in a healthy way? A lot of the solutions the producers discuss are so vague and offer little to nothing for the audience, especially those who might be seeking help.

I’m sure this review might seem all over the place, but that’s pretty much my thoughts on the show. The scenes that are done well are worthwhile like Jessica in the later episodes or whenever someone calls someone out on their bullshit. And the whole cast does well with what they’re given to deliver such raw emotional pain and conflict. And I know the crew was had good intentions to make a statement about dozens of issues for teenagers and knew to take its audience seriously. But on the whole, it’s pretty clunky at times. I think it’s one of those shows where you have to watch yourself to make your own opinion, but this is not the go-to resource if you’re looking for help, especially if the graphic content can make you feel worse. I’m sure others will find more good in it than bad, and I don’t totally regret checking it out, but from what I was expecting, it was kinda a disappointment aside from some select scenes and performances.

[het-reccers]

ship manifesto: jyn erso/cassian andor

Fandom: Star Wars: Rogue One Pairing: Jyn Erso/Cassian Andor Recced on livejournal by: sugangel7

What do you get when a headstrong, fiery rebel meets a cool, reserved captain?

ALL OF THIS:

He hadn’t known her, didn’t know her, of course. There wasn’t the time.

Credit to: http://cassianskywalkers.tumblr.com/post/155918947283/he-hadnt-known-her-didnt-know-her-of-course

I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad.

Credit to: http://wrinchester.tumblr.com/post/155693213487/im-not-used-to-people-sticking-around-when-things

Credit to: http://jedileiaorgana.tumblr.com/post/155282010231/jyncassian-text-post-meme

Why write a ship manifesto for these two? Rebelcaptain stole my heart and then some. The one thing that soothes my soul is that there is a whole community of like-minded folks who have written tons of seriously beautiful fic that pretty much meets every single desire you had for this unwitting rebel and intelligence captain after watching the beautiful action-packed war epic that was the movie Rogue One. And you probably read the novelization too, which just whetted your appetite even more. (And let’s not forget about the official Star Wars Spotify playlist for Cassian Andor which just reaffirms their tragic, beautiful love story even more.)

I could’ve spent ages longer on this manifesto, and there are still some gorgeous fics out there that I have not yet read that I am dying to read, but I hope this serves as a somewhat comprehensive look at what the rebelcaptain fanfiction fandom has to offer. (Also look at the het-reccers tag, because a few of my favorites of theirs have already been recced). And check out the rebelcaptain tag on tumblr because there is so much good stuff to be found on there.

Rec #1: If you’re in the mood for some really well-done slow burn...

Title: semantics (it’s a series of one-shots!)

Author: katsumi

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/series/631220

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: ~2000 words for each one-shot / four one-shots with perhaps more to come

Why This Must Be Read: This captures the careful hesitation on the parts of both Jyn and Cassian while all their friends just don’t quite get it while some of them do. Fluffy, humorous, and heart-wrenching by turns.

“How is sleeping not the same as sleeping?” K2 asks, and shit, this is not a path Cassian wants to go down with him. He closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Semantics,” he says, and he can hear the clink of bolts as K2 slumps a little. K2 has always been moody about that human tendency to say things that don’t mean what they’re supposed to mean, a tendency the droid finds “complicated” and “uselessly theatric.” “Oh,” K2 says, voice dripping with disdain. “I see.”

Rec #2: If you’re in the mood for some gorgeously romantic hurt/comfort...

Title: you will hope in something real

Author: tryalittlejoytomorrow

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9119407

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: 4590 / No

Why This Must Be Read: This is a brilliant character study of Jyn and is just soft, quiet, and utterly, utterly romantic.

Rain catches on his eyelashes, and she becomes fixated on that, too. His face is a blur but she sees the little drops so distinctly, can count them, and he's beautiful, she can't deny it, and she wants to kiss him all of a sudden, or maybe it's not so sudden, after all. Jyn's been wanting to kiss him since that long ride in the elevator. Wanting to kiss someone when you feel like you're about to die is not exactly the same thing as wanting to kiss them every day, in the aftermath, Jyn's painfully aware. She's never wanted that before. She can't say that she hates that her life is now divided between before and after Cassian. It's another warm, stupid feeling Saw never took the time to explain.

Rec #3: If you’re in the mood for a true action-heavy war fic...

Title: spes semper mihi adest

Author: rain_sleet_snow

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9228242/chapters/20928818

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up, Major Character Death

Word Count/WIP?: 26945/ No

Additional Pairings: Chirrut Îmwe/Baze Malbus, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Shara Bey/Kes Dameron, Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker/Han Solo, Jyn Erso/Han Solo

Why This Must Be Read: I love this fic because it feels very much like the movie: Jyn and Cassian’s relationship is basically taken as a given with a lot of plot and action in a world where a war keeps on going, even as two people find themselves entwined in the midst of it. A poignant, engaging fic.

Cassian is half-awake. His clothes are bloody and partly shredded, and beneath them and the bacta Jyn can see scars that are healing and the distinctive marks of a torture droid, which are not. He looks thin and sunken and sick and he needs a shave. He also looks quite surprised to see Jyn; for a moment she isn’t even sure he recognises her. “Hello, Cassian,” Jyn says. Her tongue is crowded with words that won’t come out. She swallows them down. “Have a blaster.” She offers him the lighter of the blasters she stole, and he takes it with a familiar, easy grip that reassures Jyn that he’s still in there. “If this is a dream,” Cassian announces, swinging his legs off his bunk and staggering towards Jyn, “it is a beautiful dream.”

Rec #4: If you’re in the mood for a fantastic rendition of the soulmates trope...

Title: this is the fate you’ve carved on me

Author: Selkit

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9372218/chapters/21217277

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: 17465 / Yes

Why This Must Be Read: I’m such a sucker for the soulmarks trope, and this author manages to pull it off in a way that feels so perfect for these characters and this film. I appreciate the author stays true to the essence of Rogue One, but isn’t afraid to adapt the film’s plot for the purposes of making this trope work. It builds an added layer of complication to an already complicated relationship and boy does it make for some fun and suspense and angst.

It occurs to her, very dimly in the back of her mind, that it would feel right to reach out and trace her fingers along the curving script, to see what her words feel like on his skin. She doesn’t.

Yet she does feel an odd sensation steal over her, like the not-quite-unpleasant ache in her shoulders after setting down a heavy load. It’s not relief, not entirely, but it’s something close.

Rec #5: If you’re in the mood for a fix-it, bed-sharing fic because hey this is rebelcaptain after all...

Title: we were secrets to keep

Author: mollivanders

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9352454

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: 3270 / No

Why This Must Be Read: This fandom is chock-full of fix-it and bed-sharing fics but this is definitely one of the best. beautiful, flowing writing style that captures these two broken souls in such stark relief.

She's not sleeping, for one. Not sleeping well, at least, judging by the dark circles under her eyes and the way her shoulders are slumped.

His training also whispers to him that everything in her file suggests she's about to run, about to disappear, and he tries to shrug it off. (Still, the thought nags at him like an open wound.) So when she knocks at his quarters that night and slips inside, he doesn’t protest as she curls up next to him. She’s warm and solid against him, and he hasn’t been this close to her since Scarif. He doesn’t ask questions, and he drifts off listening to the sound of her shallow breathing, one pounding heartbeat at a time. (They’ll figure out the rest later.)

Rec #6: If you’re in the mood for a college AU...

Title: you might just go under

Author: andromeda3116

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9780254

Rating/Warning(s): Mature

Word Count/WIP?: 8076 / No

Why This Must Be Read: This is one of the best college AU fics out there. It captures that instant attraction between the two in a realistic way, and it features the rest of the Star Wars gang in a super fun way that truly does justice to all the characters.

Walking into the apartment (where, she could not stress this enough, she was supposed to be meeting two or three people for a study group after being on her feet all day behind the bar) was like walking unfortunately back in time, to the English department parties at Northeastern -- complete with the now-dated Lady Gaga music playing. Bodhi heaved a sigh when they walked through the door.

“I tried to wrestle the playlist away from Kay,” he said. “But he’s stronger than he looks.”

Rec #7: If you’re in the mood for an epic, action-packed fic that features the entire crew of Rogue One...

Title: floating, sinking

Author: shuofthewind

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9053302/chapters/20596522

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: 135568 / Yes

Additional Pairings: Chirrut Îmwe/Baze Malbus

Why This Must Be Read: With alternating POVs, this fic is a beautiful homage to the entire crew of Rogue One. So if you want something that features Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut in spades while still doing justice to the beauty that is Cassian and Jyn’s relationship, then read this. The action and plot are just as substantial and important as the romance. It basically reads like another movie, and runs through A New Hope.

Jyn looks at the bedspread. She’s still confined to the sickbay, even though she could walk. There are guards on the door, Rebels in helmets. She can’t make out their faces, but they stop her when she tries to leave. If she wanted she could take them both out and vanish, but Cassian is in the next bed over, still kept sedated, and Bodhi wanders in and out when he needs quiet in this noxious jungle prison, and Baze is—untethered, is the word she wants. Baze is untethered. Chirrut is still hovering somewhere between life and death, and Baze is lost in space for as long as the question remains. She cannot be their fixed point, not the way they want—she isn’t a leader, for all she dragged them into hell—but she sees no point in leaving when they cannot come with her yet.

Rec #8: If you’re in the mood for a hilarious modern-day take on the friends-with-benefits trope

Title: I’ll Be There For You

Author: caramelle

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9422429

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: 4215 / No

Why This Must Be Read: This is one of the best modern-day takes on Jyn and Cassian I’ve read. It’s quite funny with Kay and Bodhi acting as kind of intermediaries or peacekeepers in Jyn and Cassian’s evolving friends-with-benefits relationship. This is such a delight to read, and characterizes Jyn and Cassian’s dynamic so wonderfully with her insecurities and his patient waiting.

Jyn scoffs. "I mean, at this point, they might as well just come out and say it to my face, right?" She drops her voice into a low imitation of Chirrut's stately drawl. "'Jyn — no one cares about your feelings.'"

Cassian snorts. "Well, to be fair," he says conversationally, "everyone's still on the fence about whether you actually have feelings."

Rec #9: If you’re in the mood for a historical AU...

Title: Resistance is Built on Hope

Author: ChronicOlicity

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9079141/chapters/20644807

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: 117509 / Yes

Why This Must Be Read: This is the rebelcaptain WWII AU that you’ve been waiting for. The author has done a marvelous job of adapting all the elements and characters of Rogue One to this historical time period with great pacing, dramatic, action-packed scenes, touches of humor, and the most beautiful simmering romance between our favorite spy and unwitting rebel.

For Jyn, that was a measure of trust. A feral animal wouldn't let another see its wounds — Cassian knew that firsthand. Battlefield instincts powered Jyn, no question about it, fight-or-flight instincts drawn even closer to the surface than anyone else he’d seen before. Dangerous and unyielding and all the more compelling for it.

More than that, Cassian was beginning to see her hunger. Not the appetite that Kay was constantly complaining about, but a kind of visceral need, elemental and nearly irrepressible. Now and then he caught glimpses of it behind Jyn’s eyes, in the stubborn set of her shoulders, the flash of something — like the electric shock from a fleeting, triggered memory — when she was caught by a seemingly innocuous scene. A picture of a lone child. Two, three figures disappearing into the snow, without a backward glance. A plane taking off and vanishing into the sky. Pieces of a puzzle, and Cassian had them in his hands, but in many ways, Jyn Erso was still as much an enigma to him as she’d been the day they met.

Rec #10: If you’re in the mood for a glimpse of domesticity for these two...

Title: That Would Be Enough

Author: mosylu

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9272258

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: 782 / No

Why This Must Be Read: Cassian and Jyn rarely get quiet moments, and this is a short but sweet look into them enjoying something approximating domesticity in the midst of the war. Well-written dialogue and bed-sharing FTW!

On Echo Base, Jyn and Cassian shared a bunk. Or to put it more accurately, they both had a bunk that they could sleep in on the rare occasions they were planetside, and it just happened to be the same one.

The both of them planetside together, at the same time, for more than a few hours (days, Jyn had said, awed, when they compared schedules, at least two, multiple) was like finding a kyber crystal rolling around on the snowfield outside.

Rec #11: If you’re in the mood for an EU fic set 20 years in the future during The New Republic...

Title: the road that sets into the sun

Author: lyin

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9268955

Rating/Warning(s): General

Word Count/WIP?: 5189 / No

Why This Must Be Read: This is a poignant look into what these two aged warriors would feel like in The New Republic. While it draws heavily on EU canon, it is not necessary to appreciate this beautiful rendering of how these two have given so much to the cause.

There are names written in the lines of his face. Jyn doesn’t even know them all, but she knows Cassian thinks they deserved to live more than him, that the universe plays games with the life of men. That Cassian has always thought he had a righteous cause, but has never thought himself a righteous man. That the cause is slipping from his grasp.

Rec #12: If you’re in the mood for a funny, fluffy one-shot...

Title: flight lessons

Author: ignitesthestars

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9276590

Rating/Warning(s): Mature

Word Count/WIP?: 1044 / No

Why This Must Be Read: Jyn is all kinds of sassy, and it’s such a delight to read. This is a hilarious look at another mission that almost went wrong and some lovely Jyn/Cassian and all of their feelings to boot!

“Ah,” she says, and the breath turns into a shriek of agony as white-hot pain lances through her body, and really, dying doesn’t seem like all that bad of an option right now. Except for the part where it will probably piss off Cassian and make K2 happy, and there’s a lot that Jyn is willing to do just to ruin that droid’s day.

Rec #13: If you’re in the mood for some seriously beautiful angst...

Title: where my caution should be

Author: rosaxx50

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9822866/chapters/22055765

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up, Major Character Death

Word Count/WIP?: 1237 / No

Why This Must Be Read: Poignant, heartbreaking, and oh-so-poetic. This shows the beauty of their connection post-Scarif while also demonstrating the natural consequences of war.

I am glad you're here with me, he says, or she says, or both. Their hearts beat in time, slow and restful.

The plans stream across countless stars. He chooses to believe, because she does, that somewhere, someone listens to the greatest difference he has ever made to the galaxy. Their names will turn to dust like their bodies, but this legacy will live on.

Rec #14: If you’re in the mood for sassy K-2SO...

Title: The Genre Does Not Support This

Author: nymja

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8977609

Rating/Warning(s): Teen and Up

Word Count/WIP?: 990 / No

Why This Must Be Read: K-2SO being K-2SO while Cassian and Jyn must act like normal human beings without copious amounts of UST between them. Fluff and humor while everyone is still so in character FTW!

“I have decided to be proactive,” the droid responded primly.

“Proactive? For what?” Jyn leaned forward in her chair. “Sexual tension will increase mission failure by approximately 12.95%.”

Rec #15: If you’re in the mood for a tragic modern-day AU...

Title: Emergency Contact

Author: randomdreamer101

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9541490

Rating/Warning(s): General

Word Count/WIP?: 3420 / No

Why This Must Be Read: Post-divorce, modern-day Cassian/Jyn is just as tragic and heartbreaking as you thought it would be. This is the last in a series, and I haven’t read the rest of the series yet, but this fic really captures brilliantly, how, even in a modern-day setting, Cassian and Jyn’s relationship has the potential to be very complicated and not at all easy.

“This is not exactly what I'd imagined meeting you again would be like," she says.

“What? You in critical care? Me holding back your hair while you vomit into a bin? What part of this scenario is lacking in romance?” Her mouth twitches. “The hair-holding was sort of romantic.” “Oh, I beg to differ," he says. “Well, I’ve always preferred life-threatening situations to flowers and chocolates.”

Originally Posted At: http://het-reccers.livejournal.com/1104941.html

[rnbannick19-blog]

Video Games and Society- Rian Bannick

In the book, To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, we see the journey of a young child learning about the real world, escaping their childhood premonitions and seeing the injustices of race and how certain groups are put down in society just because of that group treatment in the past. The game industry started off with basic arcade games that required payment for each game played, and largely targeted children and adolescents, as they're young minds would hopefully not realize that these games were meant to be impossibly difficult as to extract the most profit. So the seeds had been planted for this new type of media; a trap for children to lose their allowances accomplishing nothing and most likely begging their parents for more quarters so they can finally put that feeling of “I was so close that time!” to rest. This frightening many parents into a scare that their children were being made into addictive adults with no sense of willpower. However, this was just the beginning. With the massive success of arcade games, larger industries and experimental methods started to pop up. The first home consoles were appearing in the stores with their games, and their pixel graphics and iconic soundtracks. Games like Super Mario Bros in 1985 introduced many players to the idea of local multiplayer. A space where teamwork would be the only ideal way forward, teaching the new generation of players how to work together with your peers effectively. This is something that our American Schooling system has always stressed to students, as it's implications in the adult world are paramount. However, as early game companies like Electronic Arts and Nintendo began to move into the digital era, their staff began to include people who grew up with Super Mario and M.U.L.E., and the industry itself had shifted from strictly a children's pastime, to a new form of media for all to enjoy, similar to film, music, and literature.

The problem we see today is the same fear from the industry’s beginnings as roguelike adventures and endless games of increasingly difficult levels, where people fear Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto V turns harmless teens into chaotic criminals. For many, these are sensationalized ads meant to grab the attention of gullible parents, because news companies need profits to stay afloat. Also, only a small number of studies have actually been done on the topic, and their results haven’t concluded that games cause reduced empathy or violent behavior. In fact, a study done at Brock University dove into this back in 2012, finding that the games subject played correlated with their behavior, but that this behavior existed before the gaming ever took place. In other words, people with violent tendencies may be attracted to darker, more violent video games, but just because a normal person plays a violent game, they won't be indoctrinated into being more violent, or committing acts of crime.

Other arguments have been made about games harming eyesight, desensitizing players to horrific acts, and being dangerously addicting. However, Sara Winters, an adult living Ocular Albinism, experienced an increase in her eyesight of 200% over two years, going from 200/20 vision, to 100/20 vision after being exposed to the games Breakout and Pokémon Red for her Game Boy during her youth. As an adult, she helps educate visually impaired children, using similar games that encourage reading and coordination to help her students get better in a way that comes naturally; having fun. Also, some groups make the statement that games desensitize players to the terrible things that occur on-screen. Such as horror games and violent action shooters depicting gore and grisly crimes. Though, this is the same case with violent movies, horror books, and even the news, which constantly depicts crimes and tragedies to increase ratings, so why should games take the blame, and be forced to censor themselves, when horrific imagery in H.P. Lovecraft has gone uncensored for years. Additionally, people have said that games are addicting, using Skinner-Box mechanics to reel in players to a never-ending loop of play that takes over their lives, getting them kicked out of college, ruining relationships, and tormenting the player an activity they don't really enjoy, but can't stop sinking their life into. Many people can admit to this, even very popular YouTubers like James Portnow of Extra Credits and Austin Hourigan from ShoddyCast, but they tell a different story. The games didn't cause the problem, there was already a problem, that games were just an outlet for. As Austin put it: “...it’s not just the games themselves causing the compulsion, but rather they're just a symptom of something lacking in someone's life. Either autonomy, a sense of purpose, or, maybe, like in my case, a state of mental illness.” Thus, it's not that games are somehow evil, or addictive, or worse than any other form of media. Sure there are bad developers and shovelware, but this true with all expressive mediums, and games shouldn't be treated any differently just because their troubled beginnings.

Games can also be a force for good, not just a source of entertainment. Undertale by Toby Fox is an outstanding example. Where most developers would make a colorful, eighty-hour RPG in an underground, fantasy setting, with the common features we've come to expect; grinding in a zone to level up, beating all the bosses, and defeating some grand villain, Undertale told a very different story. In Undertale, by all means, you could still do all those things, but the game questioned the morals of that fact in a way that most triple A game industries haven't done for their entire existence. You could go the way of most games, slaughtering everything in your path until the fateful end, when you've reached the highest level, with the best gear, when it's time to fight to final boss, and you realize, you're the bad guy. In order to avoid this however, you have to painstakingly persevere through frustration and show mercy to the opponents and monsters that mean you harm, showing that, doing the right thing isn't always easy. Other games like Battlefield 1 show a great deal of respect towards veterans, giving players a singleplayer campaign that isn't solely supposed to be entertaining, but also, especially in cutscenes and the opening minutes of gameplay, show the futility of war, and the struggles real soldiers face, so that, just for a brief moment, you come close to perhaps understanding the dread of being in the trenches waiting to die, or coming home to world that just wants to weep for you, and pity you as you are haunted by the scars of your past. Games also can instill empathy in players, as games tackle darker elements of the human experience that other media simply can not. This War of Mine does this by showcasing some awful choices during your gameplay. For example, while out scavenging for supplies you desperately need, you hear a young woman who is about to be raped. You could rush in there to save her, but the criminal is well armed, and you don't have a weapon. You'd be putting you and the people who are counting on you to bring back water and medicine in danger by doing this, but you might save this woman. Or you could ensure that the family you've made makes it another day in this harsh world, but you'll have to live with the knowledge that you left this poor woman without even trying to save her. This gives players a new understanding of the tragically difficult choices people in underdeveloped and war-torn nations have to face on a daily basis. Giving players a new appreciation for their own lives, and empathy for others that have to make these impossible choices. It just wouldn't be the same watching that choice unfold in a theatre, or reading it in a book as it would be to actually be forced to make it yourself.

Games are still young; they only really began to catch speed forty years ago, and only in the last fifteen or so have they really began establishing themselves as a true form of media in which people of all walks of life can play and be affected by. Just because games have a history of exploiting children out of their parents money so they can make a profit doesn't mean that the new companies and developers on the scene shouldn’t be able make something amazing and atmospheric for all people to immersed into. Books depict a new world for us to reconstruct in our minds, films show us that world in ways we couldn't conceive, and games give us the chance to interact with that world in a very real way. It is foolish to say that video game companies shouldn't be allowed to continue making games that tackle serious topics solely on the basis that some desperate news stations said they're dangerous, or because of their somewhat questionable history, especially when they can teach us ideas and emotions we've never known.

Despite all of this, however, games are still being censored on the claim that they’re too mature for young audiences, but games aren’t just childspay anymore. When games are mature and dark, telling a sophisticated, tragic, or hopeful tales of normal people who, by the player’s own willpower and inner strength to keep going despite the difficulty of this particular boss, or whatever the game tends to feature, sure young people will try it, simply because that’s what kids do, they break the rules, play games with M ratings, and watch R rated movies; it isn’t Spec Ops: The Line’s Fault that your child that your child wasn’t ready to experience the gritty, self-loathing terror that came with playing it. Games can show us what it means to literally “climb into [someone else’s] skin and walk around in it" (Lee 87), and feel what our movie and book protagonists feel. We make their tough choices, overcome their insurmountable challenges, and understand that, in the seemingly hopeless last moments of their world, that just maybe we can save everyone we’ve come to love by giving ourselves up, with no care of our own survival, only the saving of this world. Games can allow us to stand with our heroes, be them, feel the fear of death, the curiosity of the unexplored, the blood-pumping stress of a ticking clock, the joy of camaraderie, the pain of loss, and the tragedy of sacrifice and that is truly a beautiful thing.