#ted lasso mothereffers

[leupagus]

Ted Lasso, the character, is one of the only representations of 'sometimes getting better with your mental health issues means that you are less visibly happy, and that is okay, because you are not required to be happy in order to be loved' out there and I am really discouraged that so much of the audience is angry at that.

[here-there-everyfuckenwhere]

Listen; at this point, Trent Crimm, The Independent is the main reason I wake up every morning 

[leupagus]

Anyway this is my general reaction to Ted Lasso 3.06, "Sunflowers"

[leupagus]

Okay I've been drinking but I gotta say

I keep seeing takes in the Ted Lasso takes about the various favored pairings — be they Rebecca/Ted, Trent/Ted, Roy/Jamie, Roy/Keeley, Keeley/Roy/Jamie, WHATEVER, with this sentiment of "if this relationship does not turn into a romance, then what was the point of the show?"

And that really frustrates me as someone whose most valued and cherished relationships are not romantic, and who will not likely ever have another romantic relationship in her life. Because there's a point to friendships! There's a point to love in all its forms, in all its complexities. Romance is great, absolutely, but to say that there's no "point" to Rebecca and Ted's trust and respect and affection if it doesn't become a romance, or there's no "point" to Trent becoming a Diamond Dog if he and Ted don't start dating, or there's no "point" to Roy and Jamie and Keeley's complicated dance around each other this past season if it doesn't end up in bed — that just makes me really depressed about the limitations people are putting on how people can love each other.

You can absolutely cheer for your favorite ship and hope that it becomes canon — but to reduce all the rest of the show does a disservice to the show itself.

[leupagus]

I was pleasantly surprised to see Trent’s return at the start of the episode, because his ending struck me as a definitive one. Were you also surprised to have a bigger role this season? I found out that Trent would be featuring more in season three in between seasons one and two. You see, I had a really interesting thing happen with this role. After I finished my very first scene in the first season, I was walking through the car park and Jason stopped me and said, “Hey, it’s really good to have you onboard. I love what you’re doing with Trent.” And we had a three-minute conversation that changed the course of my career and Trent’s life.

Well, now I have to hear about this conversation. I said to him that I felt the reason Trent was the way he was has to do with his father. He had a dad who really wanted him to be a manly man and be sporty, but Trent wasn’t that guy. So he hit the library and donned intellect as his shield and armor. Jason was looking at me sort of mystified, and he said, “Hey, I’m going to tell you something. This whole show is about bad dads.” And I said, “Really?” And he said, “Yeah. The reason Ted is the way he is is because his father committed suicide and he decided to embrace life and adopt that positive attitude.” And I was like, “Oh, wow. Well, this is really resonating with Trent as well.” And then I said, “I think he’s bored of sports journalism. There’s more in there. He’s not living the life he wants to live.” Jason just nodded and went, “Okay, yeah, great.” And that was it. It sparked something that was maybe already in Jason and it certainly fanned the flames for what’s going to happen in season three.

There’s a moment in the season-one episode “Trent Crimm: The Independent” when Trent is tasked with basically eviscerating Ted in the press. Of course, that’s not what happens at all because he realizes he’s dealing with somebody quite special and unique. During that scene in the Indian restaurant, Ted says something that blows Trent’s heart open: “It’s not about the winning and losing, it’s about these boys becoming the best versions of themselves both on and off the pitch, and it ain’t always easy, especially if they’ve had a tough childhood.” That spoke directly to me with Trent’s backstory. As a boy, he’d always wanted to hear something like that. He’s now looking at this extraordinary father figure, which really does change Trent’s perspective and sends him on a journey in the background.

[please click on the link for more of the interview, including the fact that Lance did in fact flinch like a motherfucker every time Roy yelled at him]

[leupagus]

I've seen at least seven posts and counting

along the lines of how Ted couldn't possibly be happy back in Kansas where all he has is his kid. Leaving aside that there's no evidence that he doesn't have a pre-existing social network in the place he was born and raised in (not to mention two very important women in his life who clearly love him), it's really odd to see a parental bond spoken of so disparagingly. This is a show about bad fathers, yes — but Ted was never meant to be one of them. And while found family is important, a good father will always, always put his children first.

And he should, more to the point. It's very possible that Ted won't be as happy back home as he was at Richmond; but I think he will be happier, if anything. I think his joy is in his son, and that any other ending for him would have been just another iteration of a bad father, fooling himself into thinking he's good.

[leupagus]

Since we know that the Snoopy rainbow mug is indeed from James Lance's own personal collection, I'm gonna go ahead and assume that Lance just keeps dragging in his own clothing and jewelry for the costume designer to approve and she's like "yeah let's roll with it" every time.

[leupagus]

I haven't read all the meta yet, BUT

One thing I find really interesting is the relationship Ted has — and has had for the duration of the show — to anger, namely his notion that it's always a bad thing that should be suppressed or at least ignored at all costs.

We've only seen him show anger a handful of times (off the top of my head I can think of the shouting he does at Jamie in season 1 when Jamie's being a shit; then — tellingly — his anger at Rebecca when she sends Jamie back to Man City, even though at the time he thought it was an innocent mistake rather than deliberate sabotage; and of course his very confrontational second session with Sharon in season 2) and he hasn't yet admitted to feeling angry about anything. Not at Michelle for divorcing him, not at Rebecca for hiring him under false pretenses, not at Trent for writing and publishing the article about his mental health, not even at Nate for betraying his trust in such a shockingly awful way by telling Trent about said mental health.

And in episode 3.1 we see Ted resist the temptation of anger, of "fighting," several different times — instead he sinks into depression, or makes jokes at his own expense, or quietly ignores it. In part it's because he genuinely is someone who wants to be positive, but I think there's also some deeply fucked-up notions he has about anger as both an emotion and a behavior — notions that I suspect he got from his father (haha, bad fathers continuing to be the theme of this show!).

I think anger frightens Ted, in a way: he sees anger as a loss of control in and of itself, which it certainly can be! But no more than any other emotion, I don't think; and given the way Ted has seen anger turn to violence (not just from his father's suicide, but from his past as an American football coach, a sport where anger is often used as a weapon rather than a tool) I think his reticence to show so much as mild annoyance has a lot of fascinating implications.

TL;DR — I think at some point Ted is going to actually figure out how to be angry, and it's gonna be amazing.

[leupagus]

So like a lot of viewers, I found the "Moe Bumbercatch is actually from Switzerland" backstory a bit of a curveball, but I remembered that in 99% of cases, the footballers' backstories have been based on the actors' (see: the Christmas episode where Higgins is listing off hometowns — those are the actors' real hometowns).

So I google-noodled around and lo and behold:

The second screengrab is about a short film that Hashim stars in called Going for Broke, which is about mental health in soccer and it sounds INCREDIBLE, I'm gonna see if I can find out where/if it's out anywhere. (Also the production company making it sounds very cool.)

Incidentally, not only was Hashim a pro footballer, but that dude is still going out and wrecking shit on the regular, I assume on some sort of local-league team.

Anyway, I thought that was really interesting and just one more bit of evidence that what I really want out of a spinoff is Moe Bumbercatch: The Series.

[leupagus]

I have to say, I think it was a mistake on the show's part that Sam wasn't part of the Strugglebus Group for this episode, given Edwin's incredibly shitty (and terrifying, lbr — this episode was all about how much damage billionaires can do) moves to fuck him over.

Roy, Keeley, and Nate are all Going Through It this episode — but so is Sam! But we don't get to see him staring at the ceiling in bed trying to figure out how he's going to keep Ola's from going under, or what he'll do to expose his country's government's corrupt dealings with Akufo (and I agree with the sentiment that that plotline really didn't make much sense — it would have been much more interesting, actually, if Sam had refused the summons from the national team, given how the government that he's previously criticized would have parlayed his presence on the national team into support for their actions).

I'm just saying that while I get that there's only so much you can have in one episode, I really felt the absence of Sam having a Depression Robe Week.

[leupagus]

LOOK AT THIS HANDSOME ROMEO

[leupagus]

Someone who's good at gifsets, can I commission you to please put together a gifset of all the times Trent jumped or flinched in this episode because he was such a twitchy little motherfucker, I knew he was like this from season one but that boy drinks five espressos in a row every morning and you cannot convince me otherwise.

[leupagus]

Reaction post to the Ted Lasso finale!

I liked it! Some stuff I did not like, but overall it was fun, and wrapped up at least some of what I wanted. And now the real work begins: writing all the fix-it fics.

[leupagus]

I've seen a number of posts claiming that Rebecca choosing to stay on Boat Guy's houseboat was "incredibly stupid" or "wildly unsafe" or other such descriptors. Everyone's perspectives are valid; I certainly understand that individual people would not want to stay there in that situation, and don't get why Rebecca did.

That being said, I really disagree with the posts that think she should have left or that she was in danger. Even putting aside that this is a television show and not real life, Rebecca, had she been a real person, did not have a "death wish" merely by remaining on board and spending time with Boat Guy.

Boat Guy was clearly interested in Rebecca, even before she fell into the canal — after all, he tries to warn her about being in the bike lane first by whistling at her and then saying she's a beautiful woman. He's smitten right from the jump! And during the scenes they have together, we see him make a number of passes at her. This is a guy who saw Rebecca and thought "ooh yes please."

But that does not make him unsafe, nor does it make any of his actions "creepy," "gross," or "red flags." What it makes him is a middle-aged man speaking as an equal to a middle-aged woman, who is similarly showing sexual interest in him. And who doesn't feel the need to pretend he doesn't find her gorgeous and compelling and sexy, which again, is not a bad thing!

I suspect a lot of the folks framing this guy as predatory just... don't have a lot of personal experience of being a 40-something woman flirting with a 40-something man. And I can say, from personal experience, that it's really fucking nice to see that dynamic between them.

Because I would've stayed on that boat, you'd better believe.

[leupagus]

Beard and Nate: friends to enemies to God I hope they get to be friends again

One thing I found interesting about this episode is Beard and Jane's axe-throwing date with the bespoke Nate Crotch Targets. Leaving aside Beard's 17 axes, which he cannot imagine having in a different country (and I do love that at some point between probably season 1 and 2, when he and Ted decided to stay in the UK for the forseeable future instead of going home after those first four months, Beard had his axes shipped and has added to the pile since then. Also that Ted is aware of Beard's axe problem), the vitriol of that is something that's really narratively significant, I think. Because it speaks to the fact that Beard has not remotely forgiven Nate for what he did. And I think that says a lot about Beard as a person, and as a friend.

Beard and Ted have been friends for a long time — long before Wichita (remember, they were only there for one year) — and whatever their past may be, they have a loyalty to each other that is really remarkable. Yes, Beard came to the UK along with Ted; but Ted must have insisted on them as a package deal, and Beard would have a pretty nice salary from Richmond too, not to mention comparable company housing to Ted's pad. They're very close and comfortable talking about complicated, messy emotional stuff with each other — part of the reason the Diamond Dogs formed was because Ted and Beard's rapport began to expand to encompass Higgins and Nate. He sees those two as similar kinds of men, willing to honestly express their feelings and mutually support each other.

And then Nate starts to change.

Beard and Ted first clock it in the very first episode of season 2, in Nate's attitude toward Will (which I think is more Nate repeating the mistakes that his father made with him than Nate actively reveling in abuse — I have a whole BOOK I want to write about Lloyd and Nate's conversation in this past episode, I absolutely cried, don't look at me). Neither of them say anything, which I think would be a mistake if this was real life but in the show is meant to reflect the idea that "sometimes you can let people make mistakes and improve on their own, but sometimes you have to step in early." But Beard, throughout the season, watches Nate a little more carefully, and then when Nate really goes over the line with Colin, he finally steps in. Nate makes his public apology to Colin and things are seemingly fine — remember, Nate's awful comment to Will happens out of Beard's sight.

But Beard obviously doesn't stop watching Nate, because he figures out pretty much instantly that Nate was Trent's source for the story about Ted's panic attacks. Not only that, but the first thing Nate does when Beard sees him is to ask where Roy is, and then lie to him when Beard makes a pretty blatant comment about the article. Then later, when they're all talking with Roy about the Jamie & Keeley situation and Nate confesses about the kiss, Beard makes the flat "I'd be happy to punch you in the face" comment. Because from his perspective, Nate's done something absolutely awful and won't even admit to it, even though he'll readily admit to trying to kiss Keeley. (I'm not making any claims as to which one is "worse," but the show clearly wants to portray Nate talking to Trent as the bigger problem.) Then you have the fight between Nate and Ted (which Ted 10000% told Beard about, I cannot imagine a world where he didn't), the ripped sign, and Nate leaving the club to coach for Rupert Mannion.

As far as Beard can see, Nate took what Beard and Ted had given him — not the assistant coachship, but the camaraderie and trust — and used it to hurt Ted in the most cowardly way possible.

And I don't think Beard is right.

We still don't know exactly why or how Nate told Trent about the panic attacks (what I wouldn't give for THAT flashback), but I think the folks who assume he did it to advance his own career or at the behest of Rupert or something are way off. I think Nate's anger at Ted is a whole other essay, and this past episode has really made it clear how much it's tangled up in his expectations for himself as well as for his father-figures, but I don't think that it's something Beard has been able to understand. All he sees is the fallout from Nate and Ted's broken friendship, and the grief that caused Ted this past year. He's only seen the pain on one side and not the other.

So we have Beard celebrating Nate's departure from West Ham, despite (and maybe because of) the fact that Ted's already forgiven Nate. We see Beard slowly trusting Trent — who after all did write the article but who wasn't Ted's friend or confidante at the time and owed him absolutely nothing — but still willing to erect boundaries when he wants to (even if he pulls them down within 30 seconds). And what I hope we get in the next two episodes is Beard understanding Nate more and accepting that his friend still needs him.

And that his friend is Nate.