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[its-time-to-write]

how about a Jamie x reader fic when they go away to Amsterdam they sit together on bus and they wake up cuddling and then there’s an issue w hotel booking and there’s a one bed trope and they end up waking up cuddled together and then they admit feelings and reader goes to game with a tartt jersey on <3

I’ve been thinking about this forever, and I’m terribly sorry it took so long!! I do enjoy being an adult, but I’m at a point in life where I don’t have much free time and if I do, I use it to sleep😂

I really miss the days when Ted Lasso was still airing and the x reader tags had new content every day. I feel like that one meme of Thanos when he’s like “Fine. I’ll do it myself.” Shoutout to all y’all who are still here and reading my stuff! Love you!!

smile at me

It’s straight-up fucked. It really, really is. But also maybe it’s good, as Keeley pointed out, because not having a boyfriend anymore means you can focus on yourself?

Or something. 

Of course he had to break up with you right before leaving for Amsterdam. Hell, he broke up with you because you were leaving for Amsterdam. 

“I don’t want you going to another country with a bunch of other guys,” he had said. “It’s them or me.”

“It’s literally my job,” you told him. 

Apparently, that didn’t matter. 

But what-fucking-ever, you’re at Keeley’s waiting for a car to take you to the airport, and she’s promised to make sure you don’t think about your stupid ex even once. 

It’s times like these you wish Ted were still here with a spot-on pun and some dad-type advice. All you ever get from Beard is a weird anecdote and a vaguely threatening look. 

Keeley chatters on for the entirety of the ride to the airport, through customs, and all the way to the lounge. 

“You’re gonna get loads of great content for the socials, babe. Candids, action shots, behind-the-scenes. Friendlies are fucking amazing!”

Last time Richmond were in Amsterdam, they had lost horribly. They’re hoping to make up for it this time around. 

The plane is full of Greyhounds, both footballers and coaches alike, with Rebecca at the very front. Keeley plops done in the seat next to her as Dani waves at you from the middle. 

“I saved you a seat!” he calls. You smile as Sam takes your bag to put it in the overhead. “Thanks, Dani. You excited?”

Dani grins. “I think this time I am ready to see a whole field of tulips!”

You laugh as the lads roll their eyes. Jamie leans across the aisle toward you and says, “Oi, what’s the twat doing while you’re away?” 

You press your lips into a thin line. “Not a clue.”

He raises an eyebrow and says, “You break up with him?”

“He broke up with me.”

Jamie twists his face into a scoff. “And you wonder why I call him the fucking twat. Prick. Bet it was so he could finally fuck his coworker.”

You shrug. Jamie’s never liked your boyfriend. It’s not like you were together long, only a few months. And sure, he was a little bit of a twat, but sue you. You had a special place in your heart for pricks with a heart of gold, only he didn’t even have a heart at all. 

“You should date someone better,” Jamie continues. 

You glare at him and retort, “Oh yeah, because it’s just that easy. You got some one in mind?”

Jamie gives you his most angelic look and says, “What about me?” which makes half the plane dissolve into laughter, yourself included. 

“Cheers, Jamie,” you say as you wipe your eyes. “I needed that.”

A strange look crosses his face, but it’s quickly replaced by his usual cocky expression. “Anytime, love,” he replies as you turn to start a conversation with Dani. 

As much as you’d like that, Jamie would never date you. His joke stings a little but you brush it off. Maybe you’ll find another twat in Amsterdam to distract yourself from the fact that you’re half in love with Jamie Tartt.

—

“I’m sorry, we don’t have a booking under you name,” the hotel concierge says.

You tap your nails to your wrist. “Are you positive? I’m with AFC Richmond, they should’ve had one.”

The concierge taps on his computer for a moment before shaking his head. “No, I’m afraid we don’t have anything. And all of our rooms are booked this weekend. Might I recommend the hotel down the road?”

Damn it. There’s no way this is happening. Everyone else has gotten to their rooms without a hitch and here you are, alone in the lobby as you pull out your phone to call Keeley. There’s no way this is fucking happening. 

“Everything alright?” asks a voice behind you, and you jump. 

“They don’t have a room for me, and they’re fully booked,” you explain. 

Jamie looks at the concierge, who shrugs apologetically, then back to you. He asks, “Why don’t you share with me?” and you frown. 

“I thought you were rooming with Declan,” you say. 

Jamie lifts a shoulder. “Yeah, but he switched with Richard because O’Brien fucking snores and he don’t give a shit.”

You say, “So you’re with Richard, then,” and he shakes his head. 

“Nah, Richard’s with Jan.”

“I thought Dani was with Jan,” you say. These fucking footballers. What’s the point in having set rooms if they’re just going to switch it all up.

“Dani is with Jan,” Jamie says patiently, as if this all the most obvious thing in the world. “But Dani’s a cuddler, so he’s probably going to fucking end up with, I don’t know, Isaac or someone. Which means I get a room all to meself.”

“Right,” you say slowly. “Alright, I can do that. As long as you don’t mind.”

Jamie winks. “Sharing a room with a pretty girl for four days? Ain’t a problem, love.”

You laugh and follow him to the elevator.

—

It feels a bit like playing with fire, agreeing to room with Jamie. Especially since you’re freshly single and definitely open to a rebound. But there will be two beds and a lot of space and anyway, you’ll be busy with the match and social media, respectively. 

Except as soon as you walk through the door, you realize there’s a tiny little hitch.

“There’s one bed,” you blurt out, so surprised you’re unable to filter your words. Jamie blushes a little bit as he says, “Yeah, um, Cockburn and I hate sleeping alone, so we asked for one. He grew up sharing a bed with his brothers and I just fucking hate being alone. I can sleep on the couch if you want.”

“No,” you say firmly, “you need good rest. It’s not a problem.”

It’s not a problem. 

Or at least it wouldn’t have been if Isaac had been a shittier captain. 

But as it is he’s great, so he’s got the whole team going out to dinner at a pre-determined location complete with a dress code of no t-shirts and apparently you count as part of the team, so you have to go too. You’re in your massive bathroom trying to curl your disgusting travel hair when Jamie walks in wearing one of those white hotel bathrobes.

He asks, “You mind if I’m in here?” so you shake your head, struck temporarily mute by his bare clavicle. Fucking hell, you feel like a repressed Victorian woman. 

Jamie says, “Mint,” and goes about his alarmingly detailed skincare routine. You’re pretty sure you’re done with your hair so you crane your neck in an attempt to check the back. 

“Missed a spot,” Jamie says. “Want me to get it for you?”

You shoot him a dubious look but hand him the curler. He runs a hand through your hair, picking up the offending strand and it’s all you can do not to shiver. 

“Mum taught me,” he explains and you nod ever so slightly, not wanting him to accidentally burn your neck. Jamie says, “All good,” and runs his whole hand through your hair this time, making the curls bounce. 

You choke out, “Thanks,” and hurriedly put away your things, desperate to leave before Jamie can pick up on the fact that you can barely handle being in the same room as him, and that you have great concerns about what the night will bring. 

—

“You look fucking hot,” is the first thing Rebecca says when you meet her in the lobby. Keeley looks mildly offended that Rebecca took the words out of her mouth, but she just laughs and taps your arm. 

“Gonna break a few hearts tonight, yeah?” she grins.

You’re not sure about that, especially since dinner turns out to be a very domestic affair. It’s loud, sure, but it’s definitely toned down since it’s a pre-match celebration instead of a post-match one. You’re with Sam, Keeley, and Roy with Jamie far, far away. You push all thoughts of him from your brain only for memories of your ex to surface. You frown. 

“The fuck’s wrong with you?” Roy says and for a moment, you think he’s talking to you. But he’s actually talking to Jamie who has moved from his place across the restaurant to right behind your chair. 

“Fuck off grandad,” Jamie says good-naturedly. “Wanted to tell this one that some of the lads are going out dancing after this. Not too late,” he hastily adds at Roy’s burning scowl, “just for two hours and we’re only allowed one drink.”

You’re pretty sure that’s a bit more liberal than Roy likes, but he nods his head slightly so he must be in a good mood.

“So, you coming?” Jamie asks and before you can reply Sam and Keeley chorus, “Yes she is.”

You give Keeley a Look before turning back to Jamie. “Guess I am,” you reply.

The smile Jamie gives you does more to make your head spin than any amount of alcohol you’ve had in your lifetime.

—

Jamie has taken it upon himself to wipe that frown off your face. He might have been watching you over dinner and that might have been why he chose that exact moment to invite you out, but he’ll never fucking admit it to anyone except Sam. And Keeley. And maybe Cockburn when it was the off-season and they were a little tipsy. (But not drunk, never drunk.) 

So yeah, sue him if he’s spinning you around on the crowded dance floor just because it makes you laugh. It’s not his fault that he’s been wildly in love with you since the day Higgins hired you. It’s not his fault that you’re easy to be around and have the most beautiful smile he’s seen in his life. 

And fuck, it certainly isn’t his fault you can’t see in yourself what others do. Why you settled for a piece of shit like your ex, he’ll never know. But he’ll be damned if he doesn’t do his best to show you how special you are. He knows you’ll never feel the same about him, but maybe he can help you level up your standards. Maybe if you’re with someone good, it’ll hurt less that it’s not him. 

So he lets you hold his hand for the entirety of the two hours that the team is out and doesn’t say a word when you don’t let go in the cab back to the hotel. 

You’ve gotten that closed-off look in your eyes again, the one that means you’re thinking about your ex, so Jamie knocks his shoulder into yours and asks why he can’t have the password to the team’s Instagram account, which is a sure fire way to get you to lecture him on irresponsibility and aesthetics and the best way to get your eyes to come back to life.

—

Honestly, it’s easier to fall asleep than you might have expected. It’s a big bed and you’re fucking tired. 

You just didn’t expect to wake up in the middle of the night crying, but it’s always fucking like this when you go through a breakup. You go to sleep fine and wake up sad, so you do your best not to wake up Jamie except you’ve both ended up entangled in each other’s arms, so he can feel you shaking. 

“Hey,” Jamie says in a soft voice, “You’re okay, love.”

You half expect him to push you away once he realizes you’re so close, but he only pulls you closer and presses a kiss to your forehead. Maybe it’s because you’re both half-asleep, but it feels like the most natural thing in the world. 

You sigh and settle into him, drifting off in a matter of moments. 

—

You wake up to a pair of blue eyes watching you. 

“How you feeling?” Jamie asks, voice gravelly with sleep. 

You just blink at him. It’s hard to form coherent sentences within the first ten seconds of waking up, and even harder with the memory of Jamie’s arms around you last night. 

Wait. Not just the memory. The present reality because neither of you have moved. 

Jamie misinterprets your silence and begins to extricate his arms.

“Sorry,” he says, “I’m not to trying to like, cross and fucking boundary or something. Should’ve left you alone.”

You’re still not awake enough to talk so you grab him to stop him from moving away. He gives you a questioning look so you say, “I wouldn’t have agreed to share a bed if I thought you were a creep.”

Jamie grins. “So like, if Jan had offered to share a room you’d’ve said no.”

You wrinkle your nose as you say, “Jan’s not a creep.”

“He’s the fucking worst,” Jamie grumbles, “And anyway, can we not talk about Jan fucking Maas this early in the morning?”

“Sure,” you say, “let’s talk about something else.”

Despite your comment, you both lapse into silence. You’re enraptured by Jamie’s blue eyes. You’ve never been able to study them this close before, and you want to take this opportunity to memorize every fleck of green. 

Jamie seems to have a similar thought, except his gaze flicks to your lips. 

“I have morning breath,” you tell him and he says, “Real men don’t give a shit, babe,” before leaning forward.

It’s softer than you’d expected, sweeter. 

It’s also strange to think that you’re making out with Jamie in bed, and that he’s the one who initiated it.

The thought is so absurd that you giggle, mid-kiss. Jamie breaks away and says, “Oi, there’s no way that was a shit kiss.”

“No,” you say between giggles, “it’s just weird that we’re doing this. Like, how are we supposed to look each other in the eye after?”

Jamie moves so he can look at you better, and you roll from your side to your back. “What do you mean?” he asks.

“Oh come on, we share a room and a bed, we kiss because I have all these sad feelings and you’re feeling a lot of emotions about the match, and then we have to work together after. It’s silly.”

Jamie cocks his head. “That’s what you think is happening?”

“Yes?” you say. None of this is going how it’s supposed to. “What do you think is happening?”

“I like you,” he says, and there is absolutely no mistaking his meaning. 

“Oh,” you reply in a small voice. “Since when?”

“Since before you started dating the twat. When Higgins introduced ya to the team.”

“That’s a fucking long time ago!” you exclaim. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Jamie rubs his face. “Yeah, ‘cept you showed up to work tellin’ everyone how you started dating the twat. And I ain’t a home wrecker.”

You groan. “Fuuuck. I literally only dated him to try to get over you.”

Jamie shoots up. “What?!”

“Yeah,” you say, “I’ve been like a little bit in love with you ever since you winked at me during that first promo I did.”

Jamie blows out a breath. “Okay. Think that’s enough talking. C’mere. We’re making out proper, like, then we’re going to breakfast.”

You grin as you climb onto his lap. 

[dnovep]

ok i'm taking a break from work (which i rly shouldn't) to talk about my conspiracy theory as to why 'the crowded room' got such a great audience reaction & piss-on-the-poor critic reaction, lmk if this is too out there or actually possible:

it's a wild divide between professional reviews and general people who watched the show. so why did this happen? there are 3 big theories:

a) any good reviews came from dedicated tom holland fans that would support anything he did - not true! i'm a fan of psychology and spider-man, not tom holland, and have skipped pretty much every other film/show he's done. i nearly didn't watch 'the crowded room', because i was scared it would be another 'split' or crime show type thing, with a stigmatising ~ keraaayzee ~ serial killer. however, i saw from a few people that have did that they actually really liked it and that it did a good job portraying did, and heard that they had significantly altered (no pun intended) and fictionalised away from the actual person the show was very loosely based on. i was hooked, binged it in 2 days, cried & shook & laughed & cried again, watched people react to it on youtube, and got my mum to watch it (with me besides one episode i couldn't rewatch yet). because it's genuinely an awesome show!!! and i believe at least 50% of the audience reviews aren't tom stans.

b) the critics' reviews are all based only off the first three episodes, which they were provided with to review. this means they didn't get to the best episodes yet, or fully work out what was happening in the plot. i agree, the first episode was a little slow, but there's still gold in there! maybe this theory is true, and it's unrealistic but i wish they could've watched the rest of the show and updated their reviews, once they had enough of the story to shift the 'confusing' parts into place.

c) here's my wild & wacky (maybe) conspiracy theory - disney tanked the show's reception to ensure they'd get another signed spider-man contract. it was fine for holland to make other films when he was still bound to marvel for more films, but once 'no way home' happened and the casts' contracts had to be renewed or not, holland's attempt to executive produce and act in this project got in the way of their money money money (mr krabs voice). these are the same people who didn't let him know he had got the part until after it had been announced online - i don't think they care about him as a person. so, if they get him to think "wow, i put my all into this project, had to take a break from acting after partly because it was so gruelling, executive produced it, and it was a massive failure. i guess i'm just not good enough (yet) to go choose my own projects, i'd better do as many spider-man films as marvel want" that would suit disney great. plus, his self-worth as an actor/producer is in the toilet, get him to agree to less money for more contracted marvel films.

like i LOVE spider-man, i have a spider-man belt wallet books hair-clips t-shirt poster etc, & holland's a good spider-man, his universe is interesting & full of life, i can't wait to see where his story goes. but damn, i wish more people knew how epic 'the crowded room' actually is & didn't see the critics reviews & write it off :( it was good!!! rly rly rly good! i've seen it 3 times now & still sucks me into that world completely.

i've been informed tom holland's still proud of it & said the [spoiler] courtroom scene is some of the best acting he's ever done!! yippee :D :D :D

ty for listening to my ted talk ❤️! yay

[isatartdump]

Imma be mainly doing work for a lil bit again so I may go back to being gone for a few days

You can hold!!!!! Some new sketches for my game. That started as a thing I was doing for the RPG game jam but I was unnable to end in time due to having a trip with my family

I won't give much context since I had the mindset of "If I can't finish it in time for the gamejam I'll make a demo + a finished version" so. Yeah you know what I just put myself into...

Anyway. these two ^ Are the main protagonists. The first one is named Mavis and the second one has the placeholder name of Zeek (I don't like it so i've been considering a change).

I'll maybe do a intro for the gods (Say hi to Terra; or Mother Earth) later since I can talk about them with no game spoilers but I am still working on their designs

Seal of "How many projects can one person have" being put in my brain.

Game has no name yet because I've been calling it "birb project" for a while. Not to be confused with the other 3 projects I have also named "birb".

By the end I'll share some old stuff!! Made roughly on the first few days of me working the game out

Started with zeek for some animation tests even if I don't really know if I can even put these in the game. Just doign it for the love of the game (pun intended)

Portraits. Portraits. I hadn't decided if I'd keep it all on a pixelated look or the portraits on my common style so. I honestly still don't know what to do for this part.,,

Lastly, this no context thing because the guy is still going through major changes

Thanks for coming to my ted talk i'd be fighting demons if I didn't post about it. Good by e

[katsu28]

Hi!! May I request a Roy Kent x Fem!reader with the Alstroemeria prompt as well as the “saying I love you in between kisses” from the physical intimacy prompts? Please & thank you!! 🤗

thank you so much for requesting and for allowing me my first attempt at writing roy! <3

alstroemeria: going to an event that the other person is interested in just to see them happy + saying i love you in between kisses, roy kent x fem!reader, swearing ofc (it's roy, what did we expect), 1.2k

Roy Kent had never looked as out of place somewhere as he did right now. Broad and tall, covered head to toe in black leather and denim, scowling at the world around him like he’d been personally wronged by it, he proved a stark contrast to the quaint little farmers’ market you'd dragged him to. 

The market itself had been popping up near your place every weekend and you’d been hinting at wanting to go with Roy, but he never wanted to. Going by yourself was always a choice, but there was something about roaming the cobbled streets browsing for fruits and veggies and other cute trinkets with your lovely (albeit perpetually grumpy) boyfriend that just seemed so…domestic.

You’d recently moved in together and this was the perfect way to jumpstart your lives with each other. Maybe you’d get some fun knick knacks for your shelves, or a painting for your walls. 

He’d said no to going the first few times, but once he caught sight of your sad little frown he caved instantly, promising the two of you would go this coming Saturday. That was today, and you were beyond excited. 

You made sure to get there early so you could have the best pick of everything, and to avoid the crowd—another reason you suspected Roy kept turning down your invitations. He was a private guy, so purposely going someplace where he would be recognized almost immediately wasn’t really his cup of tea. Most Richmond fans were fine, but with social media nowadays, some always meant more, and more often than not that always led to the two of you being swarmed and having to go home before you could do whatever you’d left the house for. 

But until that happened, you could just enjoy this time you had with your boyfriend, walking hand in hand through the area. Rows and rows of stalls with fresh fruits and veggies, bunches of flowers bursting with vibrant colors, baked goods alongside jars of jams and honey. It was overwhelming in the best possible way. You didn’t know where to start, so you went everywhere, milling around aimlessly, perusing the tables and chatting with folks along the way. 

Roy grunted his approval at some things, raising a brow at others that had you putting it down. If he really liked it, he would nod, and you picked up a little something. Ingredients for this week’s dinners, a still warm loaf of crusty sourdough with a jar of orange marmalade to go with that you were looking forward to enjoying when you got home, a beautiful set of handmade earrings for Keeley’s upcoming birthday—even a mug with a coffee pun on the side of it for Ted that Roy snorted at.

Had you been paying a little bit more attention to Roy, you would've seen him almost, almost smiling as he watched you scurry from tent to tent to explore. You were enjoying yourself, and that was all he could ever ask for.

You were less than halfway through the market when you spotted the cutest little flower tent off to the side. 

“Roy, look! Flowers!” You exclaimed, practically skipping over to one stand with the prettiest arrangements you’d ever seen. Roy trailed behind you like a stoic shadow, looking half nauseated by the bright colors.

Wandering a little further into the tent, you grew more and more in awe at the sheer beauty of each bundle of flowers. They were perfect, each bud and leaf handpicked to create a masterpiece, but one bunch in particular caught your eye. 

Gorgeous pale pink alstroemeria surrounded by hyacinth in the lightest of yellows, tiny daisies paired with another tiny white flower you didn’t recognize dotting the dark green leaves. It was a simple arrangement, but still beautiful in an effortless kind of way. 

You’d never been more obsessed with anything in your life (except for maybe Roy). 

“They’re nice.” He observed with a sharp nod, but he was more focused on the way your face had lit up when you’d spotted the flowers. 

You turned to him, beaming. “Should we get some? We can put them on the table in the breakfast nook, maybe brighten up the place a little bit.” 

“Brighten up the place? There’s a window, I think it’s fucking bright enough.” He grumbled, but he just looked mildly amused. “Besides, I have allergies.” 

“Yeah, to rabbits, not flowers.” You reasoned, giving him a teasing nudge with your elbow. 

“Same fucking thing!” 

“It’s really not.” 

You ended up leaving the tent without the flowers, opting to forgo them in favor of possibly picking up some other things whilst you continued your market explorations. You’d been a little sad, but Roy kissed your temple and laced his fingers through yours and everything was fine again. They were just flowers after all. 

Roy stopped in his tracks a few stands later, digging his buzzing phone out of his pocket. “You go ahead, I’ve gotta take this call. It’s Ted.” 

You hummed in agreement, giving his hand a squeeze before moving to walk ahead. “Tell Ted I said cheers!” Roy grunted again, stepping off to the side to speak in hushed tones. 

As a result of leaving Roy to his own devices, you actually lost him for a while, but you assumed your grump of a boyfriend would find his way back to you eventually. He always found you. You stopped for a second to readjust the produce in your tote, and when you looked up there he was, wading through the crowd a head above the rest, searching for you with a bouquet of the flowers you’d been eyeing earlier clutched in his fist. 

He reached you quickly, thrusting the flowers out towards you. “For brightness in the fucking breakfast nook.” 

“What made you change your mind?” 

“They made you happy.” 

“You’re just a big softie, aren’t you, Roy Kent?” You were all smiles again, reaching out to pat his stubbled cheek. 

Roy rolled his eyes, but there was still a whisper of a smile gracing his lips. “Yeah, yeah, don’t fucking tell anyone.” 

You stifled a giggle, grabbing him by the front of his jacket and pulling him in for a kiss. His free hand instantly came up to loop around your waist, thumbing at the strip of bare skin between your shirt and jeans. 

“I love you,” You mumbled against his lips, pulling back for just a second to admire his softened features. The hard line of his brow was relaxed for once, his usual angry scowl nowhere to be found. He was looking down at you like the two of you were the only ones in the world right now, already leaning back in for another kiss that you gladly went along with, sliding your hand around the back of his neck. “God, I fucking love you. You’re perfect. How are you so perfect?” 

“Could be asking you the same fucking thing, can’t I?” He grumbled, looking a tad annoyed that you’d suddenly grown talkative in the middle of a makeout sesh. Part of you felt guilty because Roy didn’t usually enjoy this much PDA when you were out and about, so maybe you should’ve been taking advantage of it. 

“I asked first.” 

“I’m not perfect. But I love you, and that seems pretty fucking perfect to me.” 

“Who are you and what’ve you done with the real Roy Kent?” You gasped playfully, drawing yet another eye roll from him. He kissed you one more time for good measure, short and sweet, before easing the heavy tote from your shoulder and hiking it onto his. 

“Let’s fucking go home now. I wanna try some of that bread you got earlier while it’s still fresh.” 

“And so you can pick out the biggest piece from the middle? Fucking heathen.” 

“I’m the heathen? You like the fucking ends! Who the fuck likes eating the bread’s ass?” 

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[blackcatsandlockets]

I ranked the Marauders era characters

Regulus Black

Aquarius. Autistic. French. INTJ. Queer. The real Slytherin prince. Definitely, and undoubtedly, the best Black family member and best Marauders era character.

2. Narcissa Black

I used to just see her as Lucius Malfoy's enabling wife and preferred her second-older sister, but I started liking Narcissa more since I recently started getting into nobleflower and realizing how similar she is to me/Regulus. She's also blonde and gives off black swan vibes.

3. James Potter

Mexican. My favorite Marauder from day one. The Marauders' sun and everyday Ladybug. If my future husband isn't like James, then I don't want him.

4. Sirius Black

Gorgeous. Scorpio. Loved James more than anything. The brightest star.

5. Barty Crouch Jr.

His backstory gives off Félix Fathom and I love him for it. Also - his fancasts are all so gorgeous.

6. Pandora Rosier

I ranked Pandora higher than Evan only because it's almost half-canon in the Marauders fandom that the spell that caused her death was to bring back Regulus. Also, she gives off Alice in Wonderland vibes.

7. Evan Rosier

Regulus's friend and the blond Slytherin pretty boy of the Marauders era.

8. Andromeda Black

It's a crime that Andromeda is ranked so low on this list since she's the OG black (no pun intended) sheep in her generation of the Black family. I also think that she spent her Hogwarts years dismantling her family's ideologies and influenced Sirius to be pro-Muggle from a young age.

9. Dorcas Meadowes

INFJ. Mermaid-coded. Lost all of her Slytherin skittle friends (except for Pandora) because three of them became Death Eaters. Lost her girlfriend to the Death Eaters. Faced Voldemort alone because she had nothing to lose. Voldemort himself was terrified of her.

10. Alice Fortescue

Dark brown curls. Gryffindor. Italian. Quidditch player. Had a thing with Narcissa. Shares a name with one of my favorite literary characters.

11. Lily Evans

Anne of Green Gables and Little Women enthusiast. Cabin 6. Cottagecore. Jewish. Jolene-coded. Plus-size. As a Regulus kin, a part of me will always be jealous of Lily but I don't blame James for choosing her over Regulus (after all, who wouldn't?). If it weren't for her the Harry Potter story wouldn't exist.

Btw a friend of mine said I remind her of lilies (the flower) and I was so flattered. Ironically enough said friend was actually a Lily kin herself

12. Ted Tonks

Blond. Hufflepuff. Jewish. Virgo. Perseus-coded. "Let Me Be Your Wings"-coded.

13. Frank Longbottom

German. Gryffindor. He was kind of the Cedric Diggory/Charles Beckendorf of the Marauders era? Anyways if Augusta was always boasting about him then he must've been amazing.

14. Remus Lupin

I can't believe the fan-favorite of the fandom is ranked so low on my list. But he's never appealed to me as a Marauder the same way that James or Sirius do. I do love his backstory with his father and Fenrir Greyback, however. And I definitely prefer the old sweaters and tea Remus over the new mean Casanova one.

15. Marlene McKinnon

Aries. "Cherry Bomb"-coded. Rockstar girlfriend. Victoria De Angelis-coded.

16. Mary Macdonald

Cabin 10. "Dancing Queen"-coded. Girl's girl. Pink.

17. Bellatrix Black

I don't have as many HCs for Bellatrix as I do with her sisters or cousins. I feel like she was masculinized as a result of being the eldest daughter but also underestimated for being a woman. Very Jupiter-coded.

18. Any other Marauders era character that I might've left out

19. Peter Pettigrew

[impale-me-radio-daddy]

Masterlist

Hi, I'm impale-me-radio-daddy, otherwise known as Big Antler Steve, The Antlers Guy, a pun or play on words, alright mate, and, in exceptional circumstances, oh no. Contrary to popular belief, I am not the acclaimed self-insert author cocksleeve4deerman69- we are in fact entirely different entities.

But enough about me, here's a list of things I've written, for your amusement and elucidation.

The Lookalike (completed series)

☒ Summary: The first thing you remembered after your death was an argument. “No, this isn’t one of my fucking sluts.” The man behind you exhaled, frustrated. “This is a present for you. Something to help you work through your Alastor fixation.” You awaken in Hell as the near-spitting image of a certain infamous radio host. Unfortunately for you, you immediately fall into the clutches of his nemesis, then into the arms of the Radio Demon himself.

☒ Warnings: hermaphrodite!reader, deer!reader, crying!reader, they/them pronouns used, explicit sexual content, reader is in Hell for a reason, reader x Alastor, reader x Vox, Valentino, canon typical scenarios, Vox-based voyeurism, minor use of aphrodisiacs, tentacle sex, Vox in a cuck chair, erotic cannibalism, Alastor x reader x Vox threesome in the finale.

☒ Length: 43k words total

☒ Series links: Part I Part2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 6 BONUS SCENE Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Epilogue

☒ Bonus vignettes: Hoof trimming, Lucifer seducing (slight AU)

Reddest Flags, Longest Nights (one-shot)

⩙ Summary: The year is 1989. The Berlin Wall has fallen, and Nintendo have just overseen the release of the Game Boy. The first ever episode of Baywatch has just aired, and Ted Bundy has just been executed by electric chair. Vox's relationship with the Radio Demon is on the rocks. Their solution? To add a third person to their bedroom: you

⩙ Warnings: Explicit sexual content, Vox X reader X Alastor, Radiostatic is a committed relationship (well, they're trying), Reader is a girl and she has a pussy, tentacle sex

⩙ Length: 5.5k words

⩙ Other notes: This is set in a sexy alternate universe for the characters in @bapple117's Bluest Monday

Return to Radio Hall (one-shot)

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an alternate universe, once conceptualised, must be in want of a fic.

⚜Summary: Having made his fortune in the New World, Vox Vee returns to visit his former benefactor, Lord Alastor.

⚜Pairings: Vox/Alastor

⚜Length: 2.1k words

⚜Content Notes: Unrequited love, Regency era AU, depiction of illness

The Alibi (I have a couple ideas for continuation, but stand-alone for now)

⚜ Pairing: human!Alastor X reader

⚜ Content notes: Reader is a sex worker, Alastor is a serial killer, brief reference to domestic abuse and injury, explicit sexual content, reader is a woman, reader has a pussy, bathtime, cum pooling in the collarbones, the sex is transactional but not like that.

⚜ Wordcount: 4.5k words

In Your Dreams, Old Pal (4-part story with an epilogue in the comments)

⛃ Pairing: Alastor/Vox

⛃ Summary: Alastor had never wanted to murder anyone as badly as he wanted to murder the version of Alastor that Vox dreamed of. The creature was, put simply, a simpering, effete idiot.

They were in a high class restaurant in some part of the states Alastor didn’t recognize, all art deco paneling and chandeliers that glowed a soft gold, the kind of lighting that made every patron look like they were being filmed through a Vaseline smeared lens; good skin, bright eyes. Even Alastor was pressed to admit it was a classy joint. Why Vox was dreaming of taking Alastor here was anyone's guess.

Alastor intrudes on the dreams of his friend and assistant, Vox.

⛃ Content notes: Explicit sexual content, dream sex, wet dreams, jizz in their pants, extremely dubious consent, virginity??, church sex, creampie, bottom Alastor, bottom Vox, incidental cannibalism, not much antler stuff.

⛃ Word count: 18k

Nothing Above the Knee (one-shot)

⪫ Pairing: Alastor/Vox (Radiostatic)

⪫ Wordcount: 4k

⪫ Summary: Alastor wants something from Vox. All Vox asks in return is a few hours with Alastor's hooves.

⪫ Content notes: Explicit sexual content, hoof stuff, contractual obligation, interdigital scent gland play, hoof licking, hoof fucking, electrostimulation, Vox is very much on top here, did I mention this is about hooves?

Heaven Spent (Part 1/2)

℣ Pairing: Vox X angelic!reader

℣ Summary: A naïve angel descends to Hell looking for her best friend Vagina. Finds Vox instead.

℣ Content notes: Voyeurism, first time for everything, explicit sexual content, thigh riding, guided masturbation, Vox being Vox, pet names: mostly sweetheart, babydoll and baby, reader is a girl, reader has a pussy and tits, reader has a name and it's a fucking stupid one.

℣ Word count: 6.5k

[bakurasilver]

I know everyone is getting really into Thibau Nys atm but - allow me to put it to you - have you considered that you may be sleeping on Lars van der Haar's many fine qualities?

Big brown eyes:

2. Big brown eyes:

3. Big brown eyes:

4. Appreciates a good pun:

5. General demeanour of a sopping wet cat:

6. Why is he doomed to suffer. He doesn't know. Someone's going to put him in the shower and wash him. He will yowl the whole time like he's dying:

7. They are about to take this man away and put him in the shower. He's dreading it and you're laughing:

8. Dreading it. Once it's over he'll climb the bookcase to sulk and push all your ornaments off the top:

9. Compact and foldable for maximum convenience.

2cm shorter than Remco. 3kg lighter. You could pop him in your bag to carry round all day and barely even notice he's there. Don't forget to feed him:

10. This happened once:

11. Mouth at almost exactly the same level as Eli Iserbyt's. I'm just saying. Someone come and join me in B-tier CX guy ultrararepair hell... please...

12. Always looks like he's having his worst day ever on a bicycle:

13. So joyful when he wins:

14. Big brown eyes:

15. Big brown eyes:

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[autism-on-titan]

SCP Highschool AU

Dr. Bright

⚠️I DO NOT SUPPORT AUTHOR BRIGHT⚠️

So Bright in this au is one of my fav characters, he's just very squishable and (pardon my outdated slang) skrunkly. I'm just gonna infodump about him here.

Jack Bright is a tragic little man with a bad home life, and he doesn't really know his place in the world. His parents never really paid any attention to him, both now and when he was a kid. They were always too busy with work, or something to do with one of his siblings. As a result, he is always trying to be noticed, whether it's positive or negative attention. He burnt himself out trying to get perfect grades, and when that didn't work, he switched gears (no pun intended). He pierced his ears, nose, and, because he might as well go all out, his belly button. He got a reputation around the school. He let 3 geese labeled 1, 2, and 4 into the hallways. Nobody knows where he got 3 geese. He got into drugs. Started going out every night, coming back drunk and exhausted. Still, no change at home. He's just floating through life, like he's already died. But hey, at least he's got his friends. Alto Clef, whose real name nobody knows (even the principal calls him that), is his closest friend. They're an odd pair, but they have eachother and that's what counts.And they're *just friends*, ok? It's not gay to kiss your homies goodnight.

Oh and also he's transmasc, because Dr Bright without dysphoria is like an angel without wings. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, sorry for the angst.

TL;DR: Bright is a glass child with a Business Dad™.

[stereopticons]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: March 30

2019

Language of Love: Part 1 (Season 3) [david/patrick, NR, 67,708] by PandorasDaydream

Patrick Brewer just moved to town. David has an idea for a new business and needs help.

Remodeling the bathroom [david/patrick, M, 1,776] by DearBalladeer

A little moment from s04 e02 that fills in some of the building blocks leading up to the need for a sleep over at Stevie's.

2020

Drabble Day 2020 [multifandom, T, 1,400] by winterlover

These were drabbles written in 24 hours for multi-fandom Drabble Day 2020, "Quarantine Edition", so be warned for fun, crack and feelings.Check out the Insane Journal for the funny prompt-posts: Drabble Day

Getting Over Getting Older All the Time [david/patrick, E, 68,939] by @distractivate

“Well I’m going to run some errands,” David says, brushing a stray bit of fuzz off his navy blue sweater. “But we’re still on for birthday dinner?” “Yeah,” Patrick nods. He’s pretty sure David knows the annual birthday surprise party stopped being a surprise after year two or three. David doesn’t even inflict fictional catastrophes on the café as a decoy anymore. But Patrick plays along anyway. In some ways their whole partnership is built on playing along. OR David and Patrick have been business partners for a decade until, on Patrick's 40th Birthday, everything changes.

Tea-Kettle Love [david/patrick, G, 5,078] by ArabellaStrange

Patrick thinks about New York. How do you plan to be unhappy? How can you avoid it? (coda to "The Pitch"—because why not, all the kids are doing it.)

2021

India [gen, G, 300] by Rosey_Peach

Power of Touch [david/patrick, G, 1,692] by @pine67

The feelings of home, comfort and warmth rouse David from his sleep. A happy sigh escapes him as he snuggles closer into his husband. Mmm, that's nice, it's not every day that he gets to wake up before Patrick.

Summer Vacation...in Schitt's Creek? [buck/eddie, G, 12,023] by artbyweb86

Buck and Eddie go on Vacation. They end up in Schitt's Creek. They meet David and Patrick. Form new friendships. The usual chaos. Some mild injuries/hurt/comfort.

sway with me [david/patrick, NR, 5,490] by @maxbegone

“Okay, fine. Yes, I’m thinking. I have my ‘thinking face’ on.” David makes a noise in triumph, pressing his face back into Patrick’s neck. It’s warm there against the tense muscle. He moves to stand upright and to massage it. “What about?” He asks, digging into a knot. “Additions to your little garden?” “Maybe.” Patrick sighs, head lolling to the side as he keeps his gaze trained on whatever point it’s on in their yard. “I was thinking about putting up a hammock.” “Sure, honey, but it’s raining.” “Not right now,” he replies lightly. “We have to buy one first, anyway.” “We?” David freezes. “I’m sorry, but I’m convinced those things are seconds away from snapping at any given time.” Patrick smirks at him. “That sounds like a rational fear.” “Yes it is, what’s your point?” Or, Patrick wants a hammock and David wants nothing to do with it. the Hammock redux.

this must be rare, 'cause nothing else can compare (not that we're aware of) [ted/alexis, T, 11,770] by @turningtimeinthetardis

It all starts because of a pun. Two puns, if you really wanna be precise.

You can turn me on with just a touch [david/patrick, E, 1,519] by @kiwiana-writes

Patrick knows he’s not great at giving up control. Not completely. Even when he ostensibly does, there’s still that tiny part of him that’s trying to direct things — with varying degrees of success, depending on David’s tolerance for it. But now, with no visual or audible context clues for what David is planning, all he can do is just… wait, and trust. And he’s never had a problem trusting David.

2023

Gold & Glitter [david/patrick, T, 160] by @wearpersistencewell

David loves that Patrick loves his family. Based on a schittscreekdrabbleblog prompt.

2024

A Mood Book to Fashion & Passion: I Carry These Heart-Shapes Only To You [david/patrick, M, fanart] by LovePreciousLove101

Happy Easter/Ostara long weekend all. In celebration of the festivities I have a special #fanart experience for those who love #Heart-Shapes by LadyFlowDi and ShipstoSail. (And FairManor’s accompanying #podfic) It’s my first ever Mood-Book to Fashion & Passion. What started out as a few sketches & watercolours of scenes I loved, to distract me from a boring bout of COVID19 in Feb, has turned into a project 80 images strong. A combo of illustrations, AI-mishmash, Canva-esque arty-fartyness and repurposed pics of our fav gang. There are 🐣 Easter Eggs 🐣 in each of the ten chapters and an Epilogue for those obsessed by this fic as much as me to enjoy. Dig into the details. If you haven’t read it - Warning - Spoilers ahead. (Also - why not? Get onto it now. Its genius) I’ll keep posting throughout the weekend for those looking for something to do while bingeing chocolate. I am in awe of this fic and Podfic. To the talented artists behind them - thank you for your generosity & inspiration. I dedicate my #fan-art to all the peeps in the Schitty Book Group who write & read & have brought me joy. Big love x

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017, 2018, or 2022 2019: 2 fics/69,484 words 2020: 3 fics/75,417 words 2021: 6 fics/32,794 words 2023: 1 fic/160 words 2024: 1 fanart Total: 13 fanworks (12 fics, 1 fanart)/178,174 words

[sereinlikessleep]

Little rant about Grusha because I had time

So uh listen to my ramblings I had nothing better to do and I’m bad at articulating my points and thoughts 😭 ok cool? Cool

Rant about Grusha because I have nothing better to do. So like I’ve been noticing a lot of people are dissatisfied with Grusha’s injury and it’s been bothering me a tad because the main reason is that it isn’t lining up with their head canons or the severity isn’t enough. That’s fine feel that way but people are treating it like Grusha’s being dramatic and while I agree the little shite can be dramatic at times with all of his ice puns he’s not wrong. As someone who has a former athletic background and has dabbled in snowboarding a bit and has multiple people around me who do snowboarding on the regular I feel qualified to give my 2 cents on the topic. So based on the anime Grusha has a leg injury and as someone who has and has a family with a loooooong history of knee injuries it isn’t a small thing. When your sport requires balance the knees are crucial, while I sustained a minor knee injury for pushing myself too hard in running I have family and friends who had to go through literal years of physical therapy and muscle training and they still can’t achieve the same results they had before and after injury. And that’s why this injury is so big for Grusha, it’s been well established that this man is a perfectionist and cares about results more than anything else. (IE why he quit snowboarding and failed Liko) I also don’t think people understand how fast snowboarding is, a turn that Grusha took at the speed he was going (average snow boarders go 30-40 mph since Grusha was at a pro comp we can assume he was going at least 50-65 mph) and the fact that it was his leg got hurt likely meant he fell feet first or landed on his knees which makes the likelihood that he broke his leg even higher. A close friend of mine was snowboarding and tripped while she was doing it and she’s not pro, she was doing it casually but she landed so hard that she cracked her helmet into 2 pieces and would’ve died if she wasn’t wearing it. Lesson take away is that snowboarding is dangerous and Grusha is very lucky he only ended up with the injury he has now. 

Now comes the hard part after a sports injury, physical therapy. A broken leg is going to require months of physical therapy at the least and knowing Grusha and how closely his identity as a snowboarder was this was probably hell for him and when he was finally cleared to go back he can’t get the same results he used to get. I’ve seen this happen, someone can’t get the results they used to and because you’re just trapped in this cycle of going from the best to only mediocre and you can only go as far as mediocre. For someone who was once considered the 2nd best snowboarder in the world this has to hurt. I didn’t mention it but even after physical therapy you still have to be careful because now you’re more at risk of re-injuring that part of your body. My cousin used to be good at basketball but she had a knee injury and had to quit because she couldn’t keep up and she was always close of injuring her knee again. For someone who likely did snowboarding almost 24/7 much of Grusha’s identity was intertwined with the sport not being able to return to his glory days is world shattering. Now he has to find something else to do, and pokemon battling was that next thing, he obviously threw himself into it with the same and possibly more effort than snowboarding because this is the one thing he has left and cannot let it go. So forgive him if he sounds dramatic or his injury wasn’t as sever as you expected it to be just know that Grusha is a perfectionist who values results more than anything else, snowboarding is dangerous, injuries suck and can last long times and be career ending. Thank you for coming to my ted talk :3

[theageofcaravel]

Rose-Coloured Boy. - Jamie Tartt x F!reader

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

MASTERLIST

Chapter I: Reeling Through the Midnight Streets

Plot: Jamie Tartt and Y/N have been best friends since primary school. The pair had fallen out once graduation hit, both of them going their separate ways; Jamie finally kicking off (pun intended) his football career, and Y/N finally walking through the doors of her cinematographer career. One day, they cross paths in the corridors of Nelson Road, Y/N getting the assignment to make a mini docuseries of one of the football clubs in England, hers being AFC Richmond.

Set during season 2 and onward.

warnings: swearing, mentions of food and alcohol

word count: 3,7k

an: HELLOOOOOO!!! im excited to write this, I'm so late to the Ted Lasso wagon, but here I am. I got the idea for this story when I was sat on my couch looking through Pinterest and then I made a board for it. This has also taken me a few days to crank out because I've second guessed the plot a couple of times but anyway, I'm watching Cody and Noel's Love Island series and its reminding me of that one episode in season 2. LMAO, enjoy <3!!!!

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

Breathing in deeply, you closed your notebook. Looking up at your professor, you gently rapped your manicured nails upon your desk and eagerly waited to see which football club you were going to be assigned to. The hope in your chest wanted to get your hometown's very own club, having a plausible excuse to visit your home, without your parents getting under your skin.. 

"Y/N L/N," Professor Loughty called out your name, you quickly stood from your desk and grabbed your belongings. "Yes, sir?" you asked, an eager glimmer in your eyes. "you're gonna be in charge of AFC Richmond, I've emailed Miss Welton and have gotten the approval for you to leave right after I dismiss you, there should be a cab right outside for you. you're going to have to find which one is yours." 

With a solemn nod, you breathed in, "is there any way that I could have Manchester City, perchance?" all Professor Loughty replied with a shake of his head, "sorry, Miss L/N, all final decisions have been made." 

"Alright, thank you, professor." you nodded again. 

"You are dismissed." 

Making your way out of the classroom, you sighed disappointedly. All you really wanted was to spend time with your sister, Libby. Your built-in best friend, the person who you call often to just ramble, vent, or see how life on the other side is. 

A chime of your phone pulled you out of your thoughts. 

any updates?

Libby. So much for getting pulled out of your thoughts. 

yeah, got Richmond :/ BUT I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll visit soon. 

:( okayyy I love youu

"Y/N!" pocketing your phone, your attention was now averted from your patronising thoughts to that of your best friend. "Bee! Hey." you smiled and waited for your friend to fully approach you. 

"Who'd ya end up gettin'?" the Irish girl asked in her usual chipper tone. 

"Richmond, I wanted Man City." 

She scrunched her nose. "Mmm, ain't that the team with that American coach?" Bee added with a raise of her eyebrows. 

"Think so, so I guess it's not all bad.. could be interesting.." You spoke with a shrug which only earned you a light chuckle from the brunette. "Well, I'd certainly hope so. you have to be around him and the team for how long?" 

"'Til the end of the semester." 

Bee nodded at your reply. "sounds miserable." 

"Oh, piss off. Don't you have to write an album by the end of the semester?" you clapped back, causing Bee to only snicker with a shrug. 

"Yeah, but that's easy."

"Right, as if you haven't been in a song writing block for the past month or so." freezing in her place, Bee shook her head and glared playfully at the other. 

"Exactly. Anyway, I've gotta get going, gotta get my essentials." you said to Bee, embracing her in a hug. "See y'tomorrow?"

The taller girl nodded and walked away with a wave. "See ya, nugget." 

You shook her head, that nickname was never going to go away. Walking your merry way over to the line of cabs, you nervously talked to the first cabbie. "Um, which one is the one for Y/N L/N?" you asked and gripped your books close as if they were some sort of security blanket. The man behind the wheel grunted and pointed to the one behind him. 

"Should be that one down there, yeah." he replied and basically shooed the girl away. with a breath, you found the cab you were supposedly assigned and sat in the backseat. 

"Was ordered to head to your place, where to miss?" The driver asked with a kind smile in which you replied with your address.

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

Unlocking your door quickly, you ran into your living room and grabbed your bag full of all the necessities you needed for the months ahead of you; camera, clip in microphones, etcetera. Richmond was only 30 minutes away, which, in hindsight, was better than having to travel four hours per weekend. 

With no second thought, you grabbed your water bottle and slung your bag over your shoulder. Taking one last look around, you let out a satisfied huff and headed back outside to the car.

"Alright, Miss L/N, we're headed to Richmond. s'about a 30 minute drive from here." the cabbie, who you learned that his name was Franklin, 'frank for short,' is what he told you, said. He was a nice old man, probably in his early sixties. He was good at keeping up the small talk, asking you about what it is that you’re going to be doing with Richmond. Telling you that before he was a cab driver he was a guitarist in a band, a small one at that. You both bonded over music, You telling him that your best friend is a singer and that sometimes Bee'll get you together to mess around because you have been playing the guitar since you were little but never really pursued anything musically because it wasn't of interest. 

Eventually Frank had pulled into Nelson Road, the drive seemed a lot faster than it really was because of how easy it was to talk. 

"Thank you, Frank. I'll see you at 5, right?" You asked and the older man nodded. "Have a good rest of your day." You saluted him and walked up to the doors of the stadium. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you entered the building. 

Absentmindedly walking down the corridors, you looked around at the walls and folded your arms across your chest looking at the trophy wall; all the history and old photos of Richmond littered within it.

"Excuse me?" a voice spoke from behind you, startling you slightly. You were met with a grin from a lanky looking boy. "Are you lost?" he asked and you only shrugged.

"Guess you could say that." you chuckled awkwardly and lifted your shoulders. "Um, I'm looking for Miss Welton's office. Got lost in thought though." 

"Ohhhh, are you Y/N L/N?" the boy asked with a head tilt. In which you responded with a nod. "I can show ya where to go, follow me." he moved slightly before the other nodded and followed behind him. 

"Are you the.." you started, "kit... man?" knitting your eyebrows together and stuffing your hands into your jacket's pockets.

"Yeah, I am." he nodded and grinned and stopped at the door to Rebecca's office. "Well, this is it. I'm Will by the way." he said and stuck out his hand for you to shake. You took his hand thankfully. 

"Thank you, Will. It was nice to meet you. I'll see you around, yeah?" You waved him goodbye and gently knocked on the slightly open door. 

"Come in," a voice shouted, the nerves finally kicking in. Pushing the door open, you were greeted with a warm smile from probably the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. "Hello."

"Errr, hi." you awkwardly smiled, "I'm--"

"Y/N, I've been expecting you." Miss Welton cut the other off, that smile that she held never fading. "Come, sit." she gestured to the chair opposite from her desk. You nodded and set your bag on the floor. 

"Okay, um, hi." an awkward smile wavered over the girl's features. Rebecca leaned into her desk, automatically drawn to the way you were acting; that shell she knew she needed to crack.

"Promise I don't bite." the blonde jested which caused you to somewhat get comfortable. "Anyway, we're excited to have you. the boys have been raving about having a cinematographer here to film their every move." 

"Thank you for the opportunity, Miss Welton." 

"Call me Rebecca."

"Okay.. thank you for the opportunity, Rebecca." you corrected yourself which earned an approving nod and smile from the other. "I'll be here every other day after the school day, during the weekends, and during every game. Even travelling ones, I got the okay from my professors when we learned that this assignment existed."

Rebecca nodded, knowing said information but not wanting to interrupt the girl. "You don't have to start right away, if you want I can introduce you to the boys and everyone else." 

With a nod, you pushed herself up off the chair and reached for your bag. "you can leave that in here, we’ll be coming back in here to discuss everything needed.” 

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

"This is where the boys have physio, you shouldn't have to come here." The pair chuckled and then Rebecca stopped by a blue door where chatter could be heard inside. "and this is the kit room, where the boys change and where the coaches offices are." 

“It smells like sweaty ass in here, just warning you.” the blonde jested, causing you to scrunch her nose. "Shall we?" she asked and you nodded. With a gentle knock on the door Rebecca peeked in. "Everyone decent?" she asked, to which all the boys replied in unison with a 'yes'. smiling contently, the taller lady pushed the door open and pushed you in front of her. 

"OI." she announced, "everyone this is, Y/N L/N, our cinematographer from the University of London." everyone cheered happily, most just yelling what sounded like mixes of 'LETS GOOOO', 'FUCK YEAH', and 'WICKED'. 

At the sound of a familiar name being called, Jamie looked up and went wide eyed. Holy fuck.  

Quickly standing up from where he was sitting, you both made eye contact. Brows knitted together, your eyes looked above his head, the words, ‘TARTT’ in big bold letters made you realise that your suspicions were correct. “No way, Jamie?” you asked and breathed out. 

The entirety of the room suddenly went quiet, or so it seemed. You apprehensively walked toward him, Rebecca watching you with a look of confusion. Maybe you were just a fan that he’s seen from time to time? No, that wasn’t the case and she knew it the moment you guys both stared at each other with some form of intensity from you and an apologetic look from him. You looked like you wanted to walk over to him and smack him across his face and he looked like he wanted to wrap his arms around you and tell you how sorry he was. 

“I–” Jamie started and made his way closer to you, you dryly chuckled. 

“No, I just got here, we can talk later.” 

He nodded at your cross response and backed away. You introduced yourself and learned everyone’s names, the coaches were in their office in some sort of meeting and Rebecca told you that you’d be able to meet them later. 

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

Back up in Rebecca’s office, you both went over how you were planning on filming. Going over recording some of the boys separately in their element, interviews, etcetera. You also learned that Rebecca was really easy to talk to, like a best friend. 

“Alright, Y/N, I must ask,” Rebecca started, handing you a cup of tea. “Back in the locker room, what was that with you and Jamie?” taking the cup and bringing it to your lips, you sighed. 

“We go way back, we met back in primary school and we were attached at the hip up until high school. There were moments when our close friends suspected we were a couple.” You trailed off, “but once we graduated everything just kind of.. Fell off, we both went our separate ways. I tried to get back into contact with him but he would say that he was busy or he’d just flat out ignore me.” you looked over at Rebecca to see her eyebrows raised. 

“Sorry, that’s kinda personal innit? Haven’t known each other much.” you said and she just shrugged. 

“It’s alright, we’re gonna be getting rather close these next few months, it's a good start for now.” she responded to you, the worry that was on your face was slowly replaced by a warm smile. 

“Guess you’re right.” 

“‘Course I am, Y/N. ‘Course I am.” 

You chuckled and shook your head, taking another sip of your tea. “On another note, I’m quite excited for all of this. Richmond is already so .. nice. I felt welcome the moment I walked in.”

“It does that to you, wait until you meet Ted though, you’ll feel even more welcome.”

As if on cue, there was a gentle knock on the door followed by a man with a moustache walking inside with a beaming grin, “well, howdy y’all.” he greeted. You smiled up at him and stood from your seat, placing your halfway finished mug down on the coffee table. 

“Y/N, this is Ted.” Rebecca said. You stuck your hand out for him to shake. 

“Nice to meet you, Ted.” You said and he only beamed at you. 

“Welcome to the family, Y/N/N.” he replied, your eyes went wide at the sudden nickname. “Its okay if I call you that right? Only seems right with your name.” He chuckled and you nodded. 

“Only if I get to call you ‘Teddy’ or somethin’. What's Ted short for anyway?” You asked him, the shift in your demeanour from earlier was like you’ve been here for weeks. “Theodore.” Rebecca chimed in and you grinned over at her and crossed your arms over your torso. “Hmm, then ‘Theo’ will have to do.” 

Ted, or Theo smiled from ear to ear. “Glad to hear it, I’ll see y’around.” 

You waved the man goodbye and sighed happily. Rebecca stood up from her spot on the sofa and brushed her dress out. “Alright, so, now that we’ve gone over everything, is there anything that you need before you head out for the rest of the day?” she asked you and you shook your head to look down at your watch. 

“Nah, I think I’m good.” You said and walked over to where your bag was. “Didn’t even need this today, came over prepared.” chuckling lightly, you leaned down to pick it up. 

“Thank you again for being so warm and welcome,” you looked at Rebecca and held your hand out for her to shake it. She took your hand happily, “I’ll see you next week then, to start your work process?” she asked you and you nodded. 

“Mhm, yep, and I’ll have everything we went over.” you smiled at her and then bid her farewell. 

Walking out of her office and down the stairs you were met with a waiting Jamie, his phone in his hands in a way to distract him. When he heard your footsteps hitting the stairs, he pocketed his device and looked up at you. 

“You waited for me.” you said with a raised brow and he nodded. 

“Yeah..” he started and you stood in front of him. “I just wanted to .. dunno, apologise?” 

“For what? Leaving me alone to think you forgot about me for six years? D’you think I’m just gonna walk right into your arms and accept your apology?” you spat and he took it in. you looked like a wounded puppy and he just wanted to fling forward and hold you. To tell you that everything was gonna be alright and that he wouldn’t dream of doing that to you again. 

“Right, right. Yeah, m’sorry ‘bout that.” he looked down at his trainers and nervously gripped his body bag’s strap. “D’ya think we could.. Dunno, go for a walk and talk ‘bout it all?” he asked you, a plea in his eyes. 

“I can’t. I have to go back to London, my cabbie is waiting for me.” you replied and rocked on your heels.

“What about when you come back?”

“Dunno, I don’t think I wanna hear some bullshit excuse as to why you left me in the dust.”

“Please, Y/N.” he pleaded, “we don’t even have to talk for long. If you decide that you don’t want anything to do with me or listen then you can walk away.” 

You sighed in defeat, “fine.”

He nodded, trying to hide the victorious smile on his lips but failing. 

“Wipe that smug grin off your ugly mug before I do it for you.” 

“Aye aye.” Jamie responded, that was the Y/N he knew all those years back, and you walked away with a sigh and a shake of your head. 

God this was so fucking weird. 

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

Once the next week rolled around, you told Bee how you bumped into Jamie, whom you might’ve told her about once or twice.. Or a few times whilst drunk. Telling her stories about how you were, “sooooooo mad at him for ghosting me like that. I loved him ssooooo much and he goes and does that.”

At 10am, Frank pulled into the car park of Nelson Road and you bid him farewell when gathering your belongings. You walked inside, instantly greeted with that family-like haze. A smile wafted on your features, nodding in acknowledgement at whomever passed by. 

“Good morning, Y/N/N!” Ted said when you walked by him on your way up to Rebecca’s office. “Mornin, Theo.” you smiled at him and gave him a high five. 

The rest of the morning went pretty well – You and blondie, new nickname (Ted approved),  going over what you guys went over on your first day, you setting up everything you needed, using one of the meeting rooms as a place to have special interviews for the boys when the time came and making a makeshift desk of one of the tables for when you needed to edit or when you when you weren’t filming. 

When lunch time approached, Rebecca asked if you wanted to join her, but you told her that you wanted to make sure that everything was working properly because once everyone was back from the lunch break you were going to record the first of many parts of the boys’ training. She gave you a thumbs up and you were on your merry way to set up a camera outside. 

“Headed outside?” a familiar Mancunian accent asked you, you stopped in your tracks and turned toward the voice. 

“Mhm, yep.” You said, your change in demeanour going from steadfast wanting to get the hell out.

“Need help?” he asked you, a pleading look in his eyes. You looked down at the gadgets you had in your hands. Setting said things up on your own would not be easy, especially when you don’t have a whole crew to help you with lighting and every other necessity that came with filming.

With a defeated sigh, there was really no point in doing it on your own when the other offered help, you looked at him. “That would.. Be nice,” you started, trailing off, “but aren’t you supposed to be at lunch with the guys or somethin’? Don’t wanna be a bother or anythin’, I’m sure I can manage on my own.”

“Nah, s’no problem. Promise.” he placed his hand on his chest, “Not really hungry anyhow.” he nodded and stepped in front of you to open the door out to the pitch. 

“Thanks.” You said and smiled at him thankfully. He nodded and you looked around. 

“Hmm, hey, Jamie?” you asked, and he turned to you with his eyebrows up. “Where d’ya reckon would be the best spot to film?” 

He pointed to a spot beside where he said that Ted and Beard usually stand and watch, “You can practically see everything from here, but you might have to change directions of the camera every now and then.” 

You shrugged and leaned down to unpack your best camera for the outdoors, “that’s fine, its my job anyway.” you set up your tripod and turned your camera on. Looking into the lens, you adjusted the lighting. 

“So, Y/N..” Jamie said and stood in front of your camera with some sort of lopsided grin, “D’ya think we could do that talk right now?” 

You looked up and huffed, “dunno, are you gonna get out of my way?” he shrugged and moved from the focus. “What is there to really talk about anyway? You ghosted me for years. You didn’t even wish me a happy birthday, or send christmas cards.” With one final twist of your lens you stepped away and looked at Jamie who scratched his neck. 

“Yeah, don’t really have an excuse for that. Other than being a professional footballer ‘n all.”

“Yeah, but you still could’ve said something, that's not really a valid excuse.” you replied and gave him a stern look. “Remember what I said about bullshit excuses, Tartt?”

“Wait, no,” he looked at you with a panicked look. “There's really nothin’ that excuses me actions, but please know that I am sorry. I haven’t forgotten about you all these years, y’know.”

“Then why the fuck did you stay silent for so many years? I gave up trying to reach out to you after my twenty - first birthday. Tried seein’ if you wanted to come celebrate and maybe catch up and you NEVER responded.” you placed your hands on your hips and you could see the guilt written all over his face. 

“Yeah.” you responded, “but I’m an adult and I ended up forgiving and forgetting until the universe decided to have us cross paths again.” you half jested, Jamie’s lips curling upward just a tinge. “How about I make you a deal?” 

He quirked his brows up and you responded with a sigh. “I will forgive you.” you said and watched as his face changed from curious to excited. “If,” you paused, only egging him on, “you promise that it won't happen again, even after this project is done and over with.” 

Looking at him expectedly, the brunet stepped forward and engulfed you in a bone crushing hug, the only kind he’d give you after something good happened or after you had a meltdown in front of him. “Cross me heart, Y/N.” 

You smiled against his shoulder and hugged him back briefly, only to pull away and stick out your pinky. “Pinky promise me, James.” you said, the full name throwing him off slightly. He intertwined your fingers and you both leaned down to press kisses to your thumbs, sealing the deal. 

“Pinky promise.”

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

Alright, STINKIES!!!!!! Let me know if you wanna be on the tag list n stuff!! I'll try to get a few more chapters out this week! They'll probably be a bit shorter, some fillers, some not, etcetera!! ANYWAY!! Thank you for reading <3

[itsclydebitches]

I know there's a lot to unpack in James' new interview but I am feral, FERAL I SAY, over this fucking line right here:

"His need was to be loved, and his tragic flaw was the belief that he was unlovable."

Back before Season 3 hit and Tedependent became ~trendy~ (not actually lol) I was heacanoning and writing Trent as a pretty anxious individual, someone with a ton of internalized self-loathing whose "whole vibe" was more of a mask than legitimate self-confidence. At the time I worried about him coming across as too OOC because really, what did we have to support this? Ted Lasso's prevailing theme of men discovering love and support when they previously had none? The lovely parallel of Trent struggling with many of Ted's own flaws, but presenting in opposite ways (cutting cynicism vs. endless optimism)? The then—far less developed—comments from James that Trent might have a rough relationship with his father? It felt unsubstantiated, unpersuasive, built more on my own interest in those kinds of characters and the occasional awkward moment from Trent than actual canon. Even into Season 3 I questioned whether my reading of him as struggling, significantly, with the care Ted offers wasn't just a result of my own, imagined inner life for him.

But NOW.

I'm sorry, hold up, can I just re-confirm that TRENT'S TRAGIC FLAW IS HIS BELIEF THAT HE'S UNLOVABLE? Unlovable??? Thank you, James Lance, for validating every reading I've had of this character since he first appeared on screen. Do people realize the depth this adds to every interaction Trent has? Particularly with Ted? Unlovable Trent Crimm starts off this relationship with a sincere compliment on his style ("I like your glasses"), something that Season 3 will present as a core part of his personality, something he's largely hidden away. Unlovable Trent Crimm grappling with the fact that yes, Ted enjoyed spending time with him. Him. WHILE he was playing the part of the asshole journalist. Unlovable Trent not being rejected when he admits, in moments of vulnerability, that he "Loves [their] chats." Unlovable Trent having his father's (likely snide) "Independent" comment reframed as a fun pun + advice to follow his "bliss": you have support, Trent, no matter what you choose to do. I don't care if you're successful covering a masculine-coded sport, I care if you're happy. Unlovable Trent committing the ultimate betrayal and being forgiven for it, immediately. Unlovable Trent being forcibly integrated into the Richmond family; actively accepted rather than passively tolerated: yes you should work here, yes you're a Diamond Dog, sit your butt down, Trenthouse Magazine, you will never be excluded again.

I'm sorry for the rambling post but I'm just so!! Insane about this!!! So much of Trent's hesitance could have been written off as a result of his career. That is, it might have been merely a learned reaction after decades of deliberately pissing people off. Of course they dislike him, but take him out of that environment and everything's fixed. Yet James has confirmed that he played Trent as intrinsically believing this. The career was a result of that unfounded fear—Might as well keep people at a distance before they hurt me first—as well as, simultaneously, a desire to somehow achieve the love that should have been unconditional from the start—Maybe my father will like me if I can be that "alpha male man's man" in print. Because this isn't just a flaw, it's a tragic flaw, a literary term that denotes a deficiency that leads to the character's downfall. This belief is so entrenched that it has led to Trent actively self-sabotaging his chances of being loved in the first place; a horrible self-fulfilling prophecy. He NEEDED someone like Ted—a fucking love sledgehammer that forces people to accept his care in the least subtle ways possible, even when they're acting as their own worst enemy—and by god, he got him!

Aside from Nate, Trent has always felt like the most isolated character to me at the start of the series (and even Nate has a good relationship with his mother and sister). What we've learned in Season 3 and James' interviews has only reinforced that reading for me: he was closeted in his marriage, unintentionally hurting his daughter, he's suffering under his father's expectations, he hates the press persona he's created to survive, he's bored at his job, footballers and other potential interviewees despise him—and not without reason (Roy). He has no friends that we see pre-Richmond and he's reached a point where the simple act of someone saying that they liked spending the day with him—again, while he's actively TRYING to piss them off and keep his distance—has him in such a state of shock he runs for the door, pens an uncharacteristically hopeful write-up, and is well on his way to upending his entire life for that man.

Because of course he is!!! From Trent's perspective Ted is a fucking impossibility shaped into human form. This is a man in his 40s whose greatest lifelong fear—now all but a certainty at his age—has been dismantled in a matter of hours. I'd write a book-length love letter to him too! And RIP to finale!Trent, but I would have run fucking Rom-Com style after the man who not only changed my life, but my entire sense of self-worth. (Ah fuck, but there's that tragic flaw again, keeping Trent hesitant. I now stand by my reading of the "I'll leave you be" scene as an unrequited goodbye.)

But finale aside, the man who'd convinced himself he was unlovable fell for the man who was love incarnate.

If that's not the most romantic shit you've ever heard idk what is!!!

[luxury-nightmare]

inspired by nerdymixedpan on tiktok

Ranking Magnus fears by How likely I am to serve them/how freaked out I am by them (including the Extinction because I will never forget about my underrated king)

1, The Eye

How freaked out am I by it? 3/10. My sister will come barging into my room uninvited anyway so the fear of being watched doesn’t really freak me out.

How likely am I to serve it?

7/10. I listened to 200 episodes of gay people suffering. What do you think

2, The Lonely

5/10 the person who I took this idea from said it best. This is schrodinger's fear. Cause on one hand, I like being alone. I spend most of my time huddled up in my room. But on the other hand, the enjoyment mostly comes from being awful at social situations and accidentally hurting peoples feelings when I talk to them

8/10 I said it already. I already isolate myself give me the banish powers. Gentle voiced old man I’m coming for your crown.

3, The Spiral

5/10 not exactly. Honestly the thought of me being crazy is probably not my greatest fear, it’s more the system for mentally ill people. I once let a couple things slip and was taken to a mental hospital, and the only thing I could think is “is there something wrong with me?” which, in my humble opinion, is not something someone struggling with mental illness should be thinking in a place that’s supposed to help them

5/10 would I be a good spiral avatar? No. Would I leap at the chance? Absolutely. I wanna see door wife and fuckhands mcmike

4, The Stranger

6/10 I do not fuck with uncanny valley shit. 4/10 I am a theater kid, so this could be right up my alley, but all the avatars are glorified theater kids so I think I’ll pass

5, The Desolation

2/10 I was scared of fire as a kid, but that’s the extent of my fear towards it.

4/10 Fire is pretty, I like setting things on fire, and Agnes is hot (pun intended) but that’s pretty much it

6, The Corruption

5/10 sickness and illness freak me out, but I’m chill with bugs. 2/10 no

7, The Vast

6/10 I went through a huge nihilism phase in middle school so that would factor into it. Honestly having an astronomy class is not going to help with this. But lately it’s less “nothing matters” and more “nothing matters so you can fuck up as much as you need”

8/10 enjoy sky blue motherfuckers!

8, The Buried

6/10 honestly this is a new one. I like to be in small spaces, but I cannot handle caves. I think I can blame Pastra’s Ted the caver video and the lost johns cave episode for this. But also, if we think about The Buried as The Vast opposite and pulled from its more metaphorical aspects (I know the show doesn’t do this very often but bear with me) the fear that everyone depends on you and if you fuck up even slightly everyone will hate you forever? Yeah that’s me

4/10 has we ever met a buried avatar? I have no point of reference. Four out of ten

9, The Web

4/10 this is a tricky one. I’m chill with spiders but the manipulation part for me comes not from the fear that I’m being manipulated, more the fear that I’m being manipulative. That I’m tricking people into caring about me and doing what I want when I really just need to tough it out (would this feed into The Spiral? Not really, right?)

7/10 Spiders, killer aesthetic, breaking the fourth wall. Let me in.

10, The Flesh

9/10 no. No no. No no. No gross. Gross gross gross. Have you seen the episode where the guy hammers all the meat to his apartment and it’s starts to rot through the ceiling? Gross get it away from me.

0/10 no Jared I am not joining your cottagecore lesbian garden leave me alone

11, The Hunt

2/10 I feel like this one should freak me out more than it does. I live in the mountains, surrounded by wild animals, and I have terrible stamina. But honestly? It’s like Jon said. It’s natural. If I don’t bother them they don’t bother me.

3/10 I have terrible stamina. I would make a terrible hunt avatar

12, The Slaughter

5/10 I have strong feelings about war. But there less fear and more disgust, anger, and sadness.

2/10 although it would be nice to go apeshit once and a while, this is a hard no.

13, The Dark

1/10 dude I vibe with the dark. It doesn’t freak me out at all.

9/10 I am practically nocturnal. My sona is the embodiment of darkness incarnate. Hard yes. Give me the shadow powers

14, The End

6/10 honestly this feat comes from less from death itself and more what comes after, and my family’s reaction. The idea of nonexistence is terrifying and maybe there’s something worse. I watched a Scp video, I forgot the specific number, but it was an idea of what happens after death. Essentially, you stay conscious, but you cannot move, trapped in your own body feeling every slow pain of rot or cremation as your atoms split apart over millennium. So yeah, death itself is fine but everything after is scary

8/10 I’ve always had a fascination with death, not actual people dying, but the pomp and glamour we give death. Graveyards and funerals and death gods and all that jazz. Gothic stuff. Also The End is technically the only fear that can win in the long run. The End will come for us all.

15, The Extinction

7/10 Watch the news and you’ll understand what i mean. I was like 5 when I first learned about climate change and I promptly put that in a box in the back of my brain and tried to forget it ever existed.

10/10 dude this isn’t even about the killer aesthetic, this is just cause it’s criminally underrated. Extinction my fear I will be your avatar since no one else will be. Also dude it would be so easy, just send some random people inflammatory news articles, push some people into a hell dimension, and you’re done! Also if any of the other fears complete a ritual, that’s a whole ass free buffet!

TL:DR: Extinction is underrated and Hello jon. apologies for the deception, but i wanted to make sure you started reading, so i thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming youre alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldnt try to stop reading; there's every likelihood you'll just hurt your self. So just listen. Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

[mysterycat-isstillme]

Mysterycat

They couldn't keep me down

Prizes, giveaways, untold riches. None of them are found here I just make posts.

Lesbian

grown up adult

english, trying very slowly and badly to learn Russian.

Things i love a lot:

Games:

Skyrim

animal crossing

modded minecraft

fallout (All games. including 76)

Sims 1,2,3. 4 never happen

Baldurs gate 3

Tv:

Sitcom of all kinds. Literally my favourite media.

Some faves are: Its Always sunny in Philadelphia, Peep show, The Simpsons, Father ted, Black books, It crowd, Seinfeld, Red Dwarf, Fraiser, Futurama, American Dad, My name is Earl and Malcolm in the middle.

Cartoons: Adventure time, Foster's home for imaginary friends, Phineas and Ferb, Spongebob.

A few extra: Killing Eve, Sweet Home.

Movies:

Wall-e, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Django Unchained, What we do in the shadows, the Big Lebowski, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Books:

Discworld, Bill Bryson, His Dark Materials, American Psycho, Frankenstein and Dracula.

Music:

Jesse Welles, They Might Be Giants, The Hoosiers, The Chats, Therapy?, System of a Down, Louie Zong, Tally Hall, Jack Stauber, Lemon Demon, Kirsty MacColl, The Beatles, Artic Monkeys, The Inkpots, Ella Fitzgerald, Grizzly Bear, Weezer, Green Day, The Kinks, Hard Life, Phoenix, Beck, Soft Play, Credence Clearwater Revival, Blur.

Other hobbies: Gardening, pressing flowers, sewing, Drawing, painting.

Random:

Threatening to take over the world, roleplaying stupid things with my mutuals, Puns, Posts with the word mystery in (all of which are about me), spelling things terribly on purpose.

Anyone can interact with this account, I literally don't care. If you annoy me I will block you. I like posting funny things, stuff about my hobbies and very cringey posts or images I find. These will not be tagged because I can't be bothered with it so just beware.

header and pfp by @mysterycat-isstillme thats right i made them get fucked

tags I actually bother with:

Goodnight refers to posts i make announcing I'm going to bed. I like to do this because i think its nice :)

[youwillfindilluminating]

Roy x Jamie x Keeley & Roy x Jamie fic recs - Part 3

Part 1 is here

Part 2 is here

These recs cover the fics I’ve read from about 6/19/23 - 11/23/23, but some of them were written earlier. Sometimes there are spoilers for the fics themselves in the descriptions/quotes, but not too many. (They're all happily-ever-afters anyway. 🥰)

-

Roy x Jamie x Keeley:

Heart Trouble - MoreThanSlightly (cadignan) - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 7k. Set post-S3-fist-fight at Keeley’s. She asks them to reenact their fight and basically physically shoves them together in a NOW KISS situation. It’s fantastic! Roy working through his feelings, figuring his shit out in the moment - with lots of help from Keeley. Keeley directs R & J, and then she kicks them out to shower, and they still get kebabs and talk about their feelings.

family, right - jedusaur - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] @jedusaur 3k. Jamie and Keeley go to a Pride parade with Phoebe and the team. Roy stays home and bakes them a rainbow cake, because he wants to be private about that kind of thing. It’s all very sweet! (No pun intended.)

There are so many quiet people Roy could have fallen in love with.

Triple blend - Dancey96 - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 7k. Holy SHIT, this is fantastic. An OT3 fic set right after Keeley kicks them out in S3. Roy and Jamie go to the kebab shop and talk about what she meant by “mixing their coffees.” The feelings and the way they take care of Jamie and just everything about it is so perfect. This could be canon.

Jamie licks the corner of his mouth, tongue poking out as he smirks at Roy. “You’d have sex with me, then?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Roy groans.

-

“That I was queer?”

Roy snaps his head up to look at Jamie. “You can’t say that.”

“Yes, I can,” Jamie says. “We’ve reclaimed it or whatever. That’s the word I use.”

-

“What are we gonna do with this one?” she asks.

“You tell me,” Roy offers, fingers scratching at Jamie’s scalp absently.

“You’re gonna make me come too soon, is what your gonna do,” Jamie manages to get out, teeth clenched under the strain of staying still.

we start and end as one - Chapter 1 - FlYiNgPiGlEtS - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 8k. An OT3 established relationship fic where Roy and Jamie get in a fight after Jamie is asked to come back on Love Conquers All (he says no, obviously). I love a good fight and make up fic! The last chapter with the convo between Roy and Jamie is so great.

the body of someone you love - goodmorninglovelies - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] @goodmorninglovelies42 2k. OT3 h/c where Jamie gets rear-ended by Colin when leaving practice. He gets stitches and Roy is all pissy because he only knows how to express his worry as anger. Then he and Jamie fight a bit. Keeley draws Jamie a bath at home and Roy apologizes. It’s lovely!

-

Roy x Jamie:

so afraid that time will take it all from me - LikeAMovieIOnceSaw - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 10k. A really good fic about Roy being gay. Starts from when he was little through all the Ted Lasso seasons, basically. Kind of an AU/rewrite. The scene where he and Jamie finally kiss at his house is really, really sweet. Roy starts crying because he’s so overwhelmed and didn’t think he could allow himself to have this. Also some cute stuff with Phoebe like Uncle’s Day and Roy and her going to the England match. I’m always impressed by Roy fics because the man will forever remain a mystery to me.

let your hook be always cast - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own]  @literatus-ao3 25k. The fic starts when Jamie joins the team. There is SO much good pining, from both of them, although Roy doesn’t get it yet. And there’s a good amount of angst because obviously Jamie’s loved him forever and Roy treats him like shit when he first gets to the team. Then Roy starts to have sex dreams about Jamie, and they’re hot. Jamie is also super cute with Phoebe. He’s her favorite player and there’s a cute scene where Roy introduces them, and Jamie suggests they play a little football.

“Her mum is bringing her around in thirty minutes, and you’re going to be nice and fucking charming and you’re not going to upset her. If you do, I’ll rearrange that pretty fucking face of yours.”

Jamie blinks at him slowly. “You think I’m pretty.”

absolutely definitely nota - Chapter 1 - talkfast - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 12k. Roy watches Lust Conquers All with the yoga mums. Sort of a speed run/AU of S2 and S3 where Roy hugs Jamie after his fight with his dad, and starts training him much sooner (I think).  [Stefon voice] This fic has everything - Magic pancakes, tunnel hugs, Jamie finding out Roy watched Lust Conquers All and being self-conscious about his nails being painted on the show, Jamie painting Roy’s nails, the yoga mums meeting Jamie then making Roy a cake about it, and a tandem bike gag gift!

The moment feels too gentle. Like Roy should set the volume to maximum and startle Jamie awake.

He doesn’t do that.

Instead he just fucking sits there until Jamie shifts and stretches out his limbs with a hum. Jamie blinks blearily at the ceiling and turns towards Roy without lifting his head from the couch cushion. When he sees that Roy is still there, his mouth curves into a sweet smile.

Roy’s heart stops for a second.

I could be violet sky - liesmyth - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] @liesmyth 9k. Sadist Roy and accommodating Jamie written by one of the best authors out there! Jamie finds out Roy gets off on hurting him. Everything is consensual. In the end they talk more, and Roy admits he likes it even more because Jamie isn’t into pain. But Jamie likes it when he slaps him because it “means he’s his.” ROMANTIC BDSM MY BELOVED.

That’s kind of a trend—after Roy’s rough with him, he likes to hover, oddly solicitous, and Jamie’s not above taking shameless advantage. If Roy really wants to attend to his every need, then good for him—Jamie’s got plenty of those. He sends Roy running round the house to get him freshly squeezed orange juice or Jamie’s favorite pillow that he left in the bedroom, and Roy tells him to fuck off but he still does it, and always tilts down his chin to accept a kiss.

-

“I can be great all the time. Watch me.”

“I’m always watching you.” Roy’s voice is raw, frightfully open. “Leave me no other choice, do you?”

Roy Kent's Dramatic but Inevitable Jamie Tartt Induced Bisexual Awakening - chelicerata - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own]  8k. This is part 1 of a lovely set of fics. Roy kisses Jamie when they’re on the couch after he makes dinner for them, they fool around, and then Roy freaks out a bit and Jamie leaves. There is a little bit of angst here! Eventually Roy apologizes (after talking with Keeley about bi stuff), and then R & J have dinner and fool around but this time with feelings! Poster talk. Light D/s. All things that are good.

The thing about him and Jamie - the worst part, the absolute worst part, the part he thinks about when staring up at his ceiling at four in the fucking morning is that Roy doesn’t just want to fuck Jamie, and doesn’t just want to be his friend again. He wants to kiss his stupid pouting face and tell him what a good job he’s doing and fucking cuddle with him at night and sink his teeth in and never, ever, ever let him go.

-

“I’m not doing anything to fuck up my star player,” Roy says, aware that he’s being completely fucking mental about it.

“Your star player, am I?” Jamie looks immensely pleased and at least a little turned on.

Roy Kent's Long and Incredibly Fucking Irritating Coming Out Saga - chelicerata - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] Part 2 of the above fic. 10k. Established relationship from Roy’s perspective. The process of coming out to various people – Phoebe, Georgie and Simon, etc. This fic is so gorgeous, and you already know I’m impressed by Roy meta!

“You’re… out?” The words feel awkwardly shaped in Roy’s mouth, like he’s mimicking lines that he’s only seen in films, lines that shouldn’t belong to him.

better than dreaming - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 16k. Get-together fic. Jamie buys Roy a Garmin watch and it tells him every time Jamie jerks off (via his wrist). Lots of talk about how Jamie used to be obsessed with him (which I love!). And Roy telling Jamie he can keep a house key. And Roy wanting more than sex. And just!!! So many lines in this made me want to scream with happiness.

“Easy,” Jamie soothes, like he’s coaxing a skittish animal. “Bet you’ve not been wanking. Probably afraid you were going to think about me, right?”

Roy’s skin heats. “Shut up.”

“I think about you,” Jamie says, conversationally. “Have done for fucking years. That poster on my wall I told you about—we had a beautiful relationship.” His eyes are dark and lovely. “I had this fantasy ‘bout you.”

-

Roy could fall asleep like this, standing up and with Jamie in his arms. “I don’t yell at you.”

“Yeah, you do.” Jamie presses in closer, dipping his head so that his entire face is pressed into the curve of Roy’s neck. “Like it though. Makes me better. Feels like you care.”

There’s so much to unpack in that, too much for when there’s Phoebe in the other room. So he spreads his palm across Jamie’s back instead, letting it settle right between his shoulder blades while fighting the urge to dip the other beneath his jacket to touch skin.

where it goes from here - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] A 12k fic where Jamie gets hit in the butt with a ball, and that leads to them getting together. FULL of fanboy Jamie (he gets fucked in the trophy room). The dialog is really good, and the ending is so sweet. Roy tells Jamie he wants a proper relationship. This particular bit has been stuck in my head ever since:

“I’m…a lot. I don’t mean to be, but I’m…Keeley said I’m suffocating.”

“I’m not Keeley,” he says, relaxing, happiness spreading through him and making his toes tingle. “Fucking suffocate me, coach. More suffocation.”

run it up - immordelle - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 16k. Roy accidentally becomes Jamie’s sugar daddy. Or rather, he shows his love through gifts. This is one of those fics that I read basically having to stop and whisper-scream into my hands, it’s so good.

The cologne, the necklace, the way everyone at Richmond and every journalist at their press conferences know, without needing it to be said aloud, that Jamie is Roy’s pet project. He’s been Roy’s this whole time.

-

“Are we going shopping?” he asks. […]

“I’m taking you shopping,” he corrects, and Jamie’s eyes widen.

7 for Roy x Jamie. Also, I adore your writing! ❤ - do i dare disturb the universe (tumblr.com) A tumblr ficlet by @reinvent-and-believe where Georgie teases Roy for being like two years younger than her and she also teases Jamie about his crush on Roy when he was younger. Love at first sight! Pure fluff. <3

A Sure Thing - smashthatlikebutton - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 14k. Jamie meets the yoga mums. Fake dating, kind of. I usually don’t like fake dating that much, but I read this and OH BOY I’m so glad I did! Roy brings Jamie to yoga night, and when the ladies assume they’re together, neither Roy nor Jamie corrects them. When Roy calls Jamie “love,” … I will NEVER RECOVER. This has the feel of a romance novel in the best way, I don’t know how else to describe it.

“Uh, no thanks,” Jamie says, looking at Roy for permission first. As though Roy would let him drink on this diet, let alone in the run-up to the Everton match. Christine raises her eyebrows at the two of them, like ”I didn’t know the two of you were like that.” Roy is incredibly surprised when Jamie flushes all over, “It’s not— he’s my— it’s part of my training.”

-

Jamie stares at him. “You’re nothing like him, you know that, right? You’re not an arsehole. Well, you are, but not in that way. You’re nice, even. In your own way.” 

Roy isn’t choked up. He is not going to cry. He stares straight ahead of him and blinks rapidly.

a little of what's going on - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own]  A 10k fic where Roy convinces Jamie to do coke at Ted’s going away party. The hotness and the sweetness are truly cranked up to 11 here.

“Oi,” Jamie laughs. “How d’you flirt then? Is it all—I’m Roy Kent, fuck me?” “Let’s find out,” he says, lowering his voice and leaning closer. Jamie freezes, eyes wide as Roy’s voice turns into a velvet rumble. “I’m Roy Kent, fuck me.” Jamie whimpers. “You prick.”

-

“You’re fucking important to me. Muppet.”

Jamie huffs a laugh, hands fluttering light and hopeful against Roy’s side. “You love the Muppets.”

I love you, Roy thinks, but he’s not going to put that out there. Not now.

suffering, the optional pain - Literatus - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 10k. Fuuucking Christ, I loved this one. This one might not be for everyone because it isn’t that fluffy, but ohhh boy, if it’s your thing it’ll hit just right. I love a fight within an established relationship, and this one doesn’t shy away from Roy being a bastard and really snapping at everyone. Roy fucks up his knee when playing with Phoebe and gets real pissed about it. Treats everyone like shit for days. Yells at a player, snaps at Phoebe when she runs into him and it hurts his knee again. Jamie has to set him straight. Bottom!Roy, D/s, very mild dub-con.

“I deserve a fucking medal for putting up with you. Fucking hard work, you are. Making everyone walk on eggshells around you. It’s rude, is what it is. What the fuck am I going to do with you, huh?”

-

Gen:

Something to be said - macaronicism - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 6k. A really great fic from 2021 that deals with post-Man City stuff. Jamie’s nervous to go back to practice and face the guys, but he does and it’s all fine. He talks to Sam and Ted and finally Roy. It’s all very sweet and protective and really well done. This needed to happen in canon!

Lemons and Lavender - LivingProof - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 8k. A Jamie h/c fic from 2021. He ends up in the hospital and at first his dad shows up and is a piece of shit, then Roy and Ted show up and save the day. It’s SO precious. It’s technically gen, but it could be read as pre-slash. The writing is fantastic. Fuzzy Jamie written in a believable way.

Letting go, holding on - Chapter 1 - macaronicism - Ted Lasso (TV) [Archive of Our Own] 8k. Another amazing h/c story that is technically platonic. Set after the finale. Roy apologizes to Jamie about the beer date thing being about Keeley. Then finds out Jamie is planning on talking to his dad, and tells him he’s against it. Lots of emotional h/c!  Jamie stays the night at Roy’s in the spare room and gets some good sleep, and Roy gets Ted to come over the next day and talk to Jamie more about his dad, etc. <3

[downinthehull]

omg hi you’ve watched schitts creek !! :D do you have any thoughts/hcs from the show? :0 x

oh my goshhh, i've been rewatching it again like crazy, so this comes at a great time!:D

I have quite a few, so here's some random thoughts/babbling just off the top of my head. because i finally get to talk about themmm

~here's some hcs for little!ted while i write individual posts for everyone else<3~

little ted is literally my biggest thought. he's been stuck in my head a lot lately, he's just so silly and I love all his puns. everytime i see him i just think he's such a silly little guy.

i have a problem with making all my favorite characters flips, so obviously he has to be one too-

i love him and alexis together sm, so i think the two of them would be perfect just taking turns taking care of each other.

poor little alexis would be subjected to sooo many of ted's animal puns. but would still end up laughing at almost all of them.

again, just like with ted and alexis, i think david and patrick would be exactly the same T-T taking turns looking after each other.

david would definitely have more of a lean towards being little while patrick would have a bigger cg lean. though i think patrick would regress younger than david.

david would definitely be a little lost at first with a little patrick though. i can just imagine him standing there, hands on his hips, trying to figure out what you're supposed to do with babies.

thankfully patrick isn't too high maintenance. he really only cares about having david there<3

sometimes they're able to rope stevie into babysitting, which she pretends to be annoyed with, but actually enjoys being involved.