#technically lol its just Eve Messing around

[splotchi]

back at it again......Im calling them, Minecraft Eve and Lex

[spicygambles]

Crack idea based on ur hels drabble - can u imagine X going to save mumbo and walking in on Ex having his fun- it must be pretty weird to see ur ev clone with one of your partners

A little note for my stuff, though I don't think it changes much lol but my Evil Xisuma technically isn't my Xisuma's clone, rather, they're both clones of someone else just made of different things.

But anyways, you don't mind if I take your crack idea and continue the dark train do you anon? Because I have here another part of this thing I like to call "The Fall"

---

Helscapades part 3

What's funny is, if Evil Xisuma just answered X with something like a "nope, haven't seen him" or with his usual "fuck off" or really if he just didn't block him and sever his connection with him, Xisuma wouldn't have wrestled his way to Hels that very day.

The nether brought back bad memories, but not as bad as the nightmares the path to Hels is surely going to cause.

He told the rest of the hermits to stand-by, that he was just checking out a hunch and that he'll be back in less than a day. He assigned some tasks just in case he took longer but he reassured them it was just for formality's sake.

He wasn't so sure about that now.

He'd taken the same path to Hels before, winding and confusing, a mess of red vines, lava, and bedrock, but it was definitely a touch more lethal this time around. To the point where, if he was just a little bit more careless, he probably would've died or worse, lost his way.

It... only made his suspicion grow.

Xisuma found his way to Hels' spawn area within an inch of his life, gulping down the last of his health potion. He looked around the place, almost surprised at how much everything had changed.

It used to be a lone portal in the middle of a tangled forest, thorns and poison ivy licking along the frame. Now it's been cleared up, developed even, a simple structure built to house the portal.

He sighed, trying to catch his breath, shelving the shock for later. His first task was to find Evil Xisuma, maybe shake some sense into the fool and get some answers. It would've been a difficult task too, if somebody didn't make paths and signposts with a directory of everybody's bases.

It stumped him. It was the most suspicious thing he'd seen in Hels given how awful its inhabitants treat each other and he was half convinced that it was a trap.

But... he had no other leads, and using an elytra would attract too much attention, so he just put his guard up and followed the path pointing towards Ex's base.

---

Hmm, yep, all those red accents, that's definitely Ex's base. A tentative sort of relief flooded Xisuma’s chest. This was going to be the first time he'll see Ex after the "moon big" disaster and he wants nothing more than to punt the little shit into the sun. But... while their relationship wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, Evil Xisuma is still a significant part of his life and he doesn't want him to just... disappear.

He shook the nerves away and decided to play it safe. He built up to the only window with a dim flickering light behind it and peeked into the room to see if Evil Xisuma was inside.

He froze.

He found Evil X... but he also found Mumbo. They were... intertwined, looking at each other with this... tenderness...

There was an ugly little emotion blooming in his chest. He stared, scanning Mumbo's expression, his body language, hoping to see any distress from the mustached redstoner, any reason to break in the room and deck Ex in the face.

There was none, zero.

Mumbo had this bashful little smile on his face, even Evil X was smiling, they both looked happy and content and just pleased. It ticked him right off.

He moved to break in anyway, raising his sword to hit the glass with its pommel. But before he could swing, he felt the cold sharp edge of a knife pressed against his throat.

He was so preoccupied with his anger that he didn't even notice Helsknight approach from behind.

"Look who decided to turn up after all" the helsmit hummed, a smug smirk playing on his lips. Xisuma glared at him with as much vitriol he can muster. “oh! That’s a good look on you~”

"What did you do to Mumbo?" he asked, voice deep and in all accounts threatening, Helsknight just rolled his eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

"Bullshit"

“By your estimate, how long do you think Mumbo's been here?"

The suddenness of the question startled him. So much so that Xisuma couldn't help but to think about the last time he'd seen the redstoner. When was it...

"no more than two weeks" he replied determinedly, challenging Helsknight with his gaze. The helsmit chuckled, shaking his head.

"try two months"

Xisuma froze, a chill crawling up his spine. Surely not. Surely not. Someone would’ve noticed. Grian alone-...

But Grian’s been busy hasn’t he, Scar’s been busy, Iskall’s been busy, Impulse, Pearl, Doc… They’ve all been busy. Busy enough to let Mumbo’s absence slip through the cracks.

Helsknight sighed, grabbing Xisuma’s face and forcing him to look back through the window at Mumbo and Ex.

"Mumbo's been stuck here a while, no one checked up on him, no one came looking for him. Do you know how dejected he's been?"

"that's-... that's not true! We've been..."

“he was waiting for any form of contact from you guys, it was heartbreaking. It took us a while until we could make him happy again.” There was a pause, and Xisuma could almost hear the emotion in the helsmit’s voice “and now what? You’re gonna tell him that you didn’t notice he was gone? You’re gonna take this away from him?”

Helsknight held Xisuma’s gaze steady, firing back with a challenge of his own. Xisuma grit his teeth.

“He doesn’t belong here” he glared. Helsknight chuckled, taking out a potion from his inventory. He raised it above his head and looked Xisuma straight in the eyes.

“you’d like to believe that, wouldn’t you?”

Xisuma didn’t have time to react as the potion smashed on the ground by his feet, dark tendrils of smoke climbed his legs and enveloped his body, sapping his energy as it went. The last thing he remembered was Helsknight’s indifferent stare as he lost consciousness.

---

It was already dark when he woke up, Hels’ twin moons shining down on him through the bars of the makeshift cell he was thrown into. He had a raging headache, the kind that makes your ears ring.

It looked like they weren’t expecting him to wake up quite so soon with how the security around him was lacking, they didn’t even take his tools from him.

He broke through his cell and immediately backtracked towards Ex’s base.

It all felt… wrong, his surroundings too quiet, it felt like he was being watched.

Evil Xisuma wasn’t in his base, but Mumbo was. The redstoner was fast asleep, curled under the blankets without a worry in the world.

Xisuma let out a sigh of relief, bundling up the redstoner in his arms. There was only a tiny beat of hesitation as Helsknight’s words echoed in his head. He shook the thoughts off, gritting his teeth through the headache that that caused and quickly made his way towards the portal.

It was still so quiet.

As he arrived in front of the portal he hesitated, dreading going through the path with Mumbo asleep in his arms. But he sees the path change in front of his eyes, opening up as if it was ushering them out, eager to get rid of them, beings Hels itself perceive as anomalies.

---

Helsknight let out a loud exaggerated sigh.

Him and Ex were sitting in a tree, out of sight, not unlike the countless other helsmits in countless other trees, watching Xisuma carry Mumbo through the portal.

“I miss him already” he announced, throwing an arm around Ex’s shoulder “keep me warm tonight, would you Ex?”

Silence, something Helsknight never would’ve expected as a response to his teasing, especially from Evil Xisuma. He blinked then shrugged, keeping the arm around Ex’s shoulder in place.

“Well, at least everything went according to plan eh?” Helsknight added, glancing back to where he saw the hermits last.

“How long do you think it's gonna last?” Ex asked, gaze not leaving the portal. Helsknight hummed.

“A good long while I think” he sighed again, tinted with a touch of yearning. “Mumbo’s gonna wake up and Xisuma’s gonna be greeted with hurt and distrust… He’s gonna call the hermits the wrong names for at least a couple of weeks” he chuckled bitterly.

"truly one of the most disruptive things we could've done to that perfect little server"

[toweroftickles]

Hey there! If it's not too much...could you please write some headcannons for a game called NiGHTS into/Journey of Dreams

Um HELL YES I CAN thank you so much for asking!!!! 😆

Tickle Headcanons: NiGHTS into Dreams

Elliot Edwards

Most Ticklish Spots: Balls of Feet, Ribs

He’s secretly very ticklish and haaaaates being tickled.

Always fights to hold in his laughter. Grunts and wheezes a lot.

A struggler - squirms and kicks and will aggressively try to push his lers away.

He’s had nightmares before about being tied up and tickled. Not like a recurring thing, but it has happened before. (Obviously he’s never told anyone this.)

His teammates sometimes tickle him when they’re goofing around; they all know it’s his big weakness and tease him ruthlessly about it.

Claris Sinclair

Most Ticklish Spots: Feet, Armpits, Belly Button

Like Elliot, she can’t stand being tickled. It’s not her worst fear but it’s up there. XD

Goes into panic mode and starts stammering when threatened with tickles.

Fitting her lovely singing voice, she has a melodious, musical laugh that other people like listening to.

Sometimes tickles Elliot just to make him freak out, but she always regrets it once he dishes out some payback.

Very, very vulnerable to poking. She’ll scream if you poke her.

Tickling will make her either curl up into a helpless little ball on the floor or flail around like she’s being electrocuted. There’s not much middle ground.

Will Taylor

Most Ticklish Spots: Everywhere, but his feet and stomach are the worst spots

Loves to be tickled! Especially on his tummy. (As long as it’s not too rough.) He just thinks it’s tons of fun and loves laughing more than anything.

Has a very bubbly giggle full of gasps and squeaks.

Gets tickled by his dad all the time. He kinda wishes his friends (and Helen) would pin him down and tickle him more often.

One of his favorite beach activities is burying people in sand. This has led to lots of tickling between him & friends.

Helen Cartwright

Most Ticklish Spots: Arches, Ankles, Sides, Knees

Her opinion fluctuates wildly - sometimes she hates being tickled, sometimes it’s fun if a friend is doing it.

Not usually much of a tickler, but she does love playing with Will. ^^

Uses spidery finger movements.

She often laughs through closed lips instead of opening her mouth; very quiet and soft-sounding.

Claims that her violin bow tickles really bad if you use it for that.

When hanging around in Nightopia, or in a park when friends, she sometimes likes to pick blades of grass and playfully tickle with them.

Side note: I understand that NiGHTS is technically “supposed” to be a genderless being, but…come on. Lol

NiGHTS

Most Ticklish Spots: Sides/Hips, Feet

She loves tickle fights! Tickling, to NiGHTS, is a game…and a super-fun one! It’s all about messing with Visitors and seeing who will say “uncle” first.

Almost always wins, thanks to the whole “speed” and “flying” thing. Will dart around through the air and tickle all over until you’re on the ground.

As a prankster and mischief-maker, she’ll only stop tickling when it ceases to amuse her (unless you get really upset).

Has a laugh that’s just a tiny bit raspy and tomboyish. It’s cute.

She & Reala may be the Adam & Eve of the Nightmare world, but Reala isn’t ticklish at all. Which makes NiGHTS huffy to no end.

If a Visitor dualizes with NiGHTS, and someone tickles her, they’ll both feel it!

Be careful. She kicks.

Donbalon

This terrifying demon of laughter relishes in the suffering of dreamers. With its long stretchy arms and snakelike fingers, it’s been known to torment Visitors in their nightmares with cruel, relentless tickling.

Ok but for real can we please have HD remakes of these games? Please?

[punkscowardschampions]

Dash & Lux

Dash: ☀️🧙🏽‍♀️🎶🥁🎸🪕🧚🏿‍♂️🌿🌼🧚🔮💃💫🔥🕺🏻🌳💗🍯🍻

Lux: That is almost exactly what the inside of my head looks like right now!!!

Lux: Is mind-reading a power that is bestowed upon you believers this eve?! 🤔😲

Dash: Right on

Dash: it’s one of many, trust

Lux: I’m ever sadder I can only be an observer now

Lux: Telepathy would be the most useful!

Dash: you gotta open your 👀 at least twice

Lux: I can 👀 at it, all of it in its splendour, just not participate

Dash: Bummer! What’s got you backing off? You don’t look like no wallflower chick to me

Lux: I got the dress code 🌻🌻🌻

Lux: Sunflowers are so strong-looking for flowers, don’t you think?

Lux: Not dainty and delicate

Lux: Well, I’m a Christian and technically this is a Pagan ritual so it’s a big 🚫🚫

Lux: I am finding it super interesting though

Dash: they don’t look strong, they are, babe 🌻🌻🌻 cleaned up Chernobyl, it’s far out what they can do

Dash: its roots, yeah, but we’re not all pagans here & we all still find something to celebrate, you could do St John the Baptist’s birthday as a christian, bonfires were big for that too

Lux: Whaaaaaaaaaat????! TELL ME MORE

Dash: about 🌻🌻🌻 or 🎂🔥🎇🎆?

Lux: 🌻🌻🌻 birthdays are contentious too

Dash: Helianthus annuus, from the Greek helios, meaning ☀️ they can remove poisonous chemicals & metals from the ground, water or air

Dash: they spread rapidly & can stabilize if not totally clear a field in 3 years, it’s 🤯

Lux: I wish I’d gone to school

Lux: Do you know any more fascinating things?

Lux: That sounds like magic

Dash: the world’s full of magic, but it wasn’t school that taught me to recognize it

Lux: Share the secret, kind sir

Dash: you’ve got the 🔑 & this here’s your kingdom, all you have to do is hang out & stay hip to what you 👀👂👃👅

Dash: 🧠➡️⬅️⬆️⬇️↗️↘️↙️↖️↪️↩️⤴️⤵️

Lux: I’ve 👅 so many wondrous tastes today

Lux: I feel full in so many senses of the word

Lux: How long have you been a member of the kingdom, stranger?

Dash: quest accepted to lay that feeling on you in every sense, then it’ll be a rad celebration

Dash: I’ve been here since I could walk, everywhere else is too big a drag to keep me

Lux: Oh, that’s so kind!

Lux: Everyone is so open and willing to teach me things

Lux: For instance, quick, when’s your birthday, wolf boy

Dash: it’s that kinda space 🦊

Dash: 20th of January 🎂 got me on the cusp ♑♒

Lux: Twins!

Lux: My birthday, which I’ve never celebrated before, is the 20th of March 😱

Lux: Someone, I’m not sure who, was just telling me about the Celtic tree signs

Lux: ‘If you were born in the month of the birch, you probably have a fresh and unusual outlook on life. People born under this Celtic tree astrology sign tend to be highly driven and are always full of zeal and ambition. They always want more and try to reach new horizons and expand their knowledge. Some of the characteristics attributed to the Birch sign are tolerance, toughness, and leadership. The Birch signs can brighten a room with their smile and quickly charm other people’

Lux: Yay or nay 🐺

Dash: you charmed so far or nah? [obviously smiling at her wherever she is as well like heyyy]

Lux: [definition of this emoji 🤭]

Dash: What’s your celtic tree sign?

Lux: ‘Those born under the Alder sign are natural pathfinders. They have the ability to move people and quickly gain followers to their cause. The Alders have a way with words, mingle easily and people love to be around them. They possess a mystic charisma, confidence and strong self-faith. Other character traits are: a good focus on goals and ideas, can’t tolerate fluff and waste.’

Lux: I am unsure but flattered 😊😊😊

Dash: I dig it

Dash: they let you know if we’re compatible? Your ♓♈ cusp makes you mad desirable to all signs

Lux: You need to see who here was born 15th April to 12th May or 2nd September to 29th September

Lux: But it says I’m compatible with you, so how does that work?! 😣

Lux: There’s so much I have to get my head ‘round

Dash: You’re gonna be 🥰💖 for me while I’m 🔍 for a 🐈 or 🐤 born on those dates?

Lux: Hey, that’s way less nice!

Lux: but I can also be looking for people born 13th May to 9th June AND 10th June to 7th July so 😋

Dash: those signs are full of it, trying to make me look uncool but don’t sweat it, I’d never cut you that low, like

Lux: If it’s not in the 💫s I can still say I’m pleased to meet you today as friends, Mowgli

Dash: Look up

Dash: if you don’t see a 🌠 I can show you a 🐺🌟 & 🦊🌟 chasing each other across the sky

Lux: [obviously literally does]

Lux: That’s very Disney 🏰✨

Dash: is that allowed?

Lux: I watched some at a friend’s house one time

Dash: & how was it?

Lux: 😭 but romantic

Dash: Anyone told you the oak king story yet?

Lux: Okay, thank Goodness

Lux: this lady with the dreads and the big back tattoo tried to tell me but I couldn’t understand her 🙊

Lux: Redeem your gentlemanly reputation and save both of us the embarrassment

Lux: Her accent was wild! 🤯

Dash: did her version start with Fadó, fadó?

Dash: wouldn’t be a wild guess

Lux: I won’t credit you with any telepathic skills this time, then

Lux: also I’d need to 👂 it again to confirm fully but yes, I think so

Dash: [send her an utterly unnecessary voice memo]

Lux: It sounds more intriguing when you say it

Dash: [obviously gotta tell her the full story in an irish voice memo purely for the #flex and the flirt cos you know damn well you’re gonna have to translate it, boy]

Lux: 🤩

Lux: Did you learn that here too?

Lux: I’ve lived so many different places and yet I only know the one language

Dash: My ma started it but when the establishment took over it was a bad scene & turned me off for time, last few years here it felt groovy again having that connection & I refound the 💚☘️

Lux: It’s really cool

Lux: it sounds old, or like elvish or something else not real

Dash: it’s a trip, you’ve gotta get someone to teach you while your fly by lasts

Lux: Oh, I live here 😊

Lux: I room with Nora, do you know her?

Dash: Beats me, what’s her deal?

Lux: Her and her brother Finley have been here for a while, but not forever like you

Lux: but there are a lot of people here so I’m not surprised you’re not sure 😅

Dash: not a clue but loads of people are too rattled to wanna get involved, could be her vibe

Dash: or she just ain’t outta sight like you

Lux: She’s totally involved, she secured like all of the sunflowers for today

Lux: well, me and Amber helped but she was definitely the most enthusiastic

Dash: 🌻👑! I do know her, but her in with Amber & instant karma means she’s not gonna mess around with me

Lux: Ooh, what did you do

Dash: jack, Amber’s hassling me cos I’m not trying to be her old man, she gets super rash & things get heavy with 0 slack

Lux: Hmm I shouldn’t have asked 🤐🙉

Dash: ask her why she’s making a move on my older bro now if not to try & lay a trip on me, babe’s lost it

Lux: Whaaaaaaa

Lux: You have a brother?!

Lux: Is he invisible?

Dash: I wish

Lux: Which one is he, point him out

Dash: [points in the direction of their house lol]

Lux: [a face of understanding like oh okay]

Lux: How does Amber know him then?

Dash: from stalking me

Lux: I don’t think she would do that

Lux: She must’ve just bumped into him or something

Dash: at my house, yeah

Lux: It’s cool, it’s not really my business

Dash: open 👀 like I said

Lux: 📖

Dash: that too 🧠💗🤲

Lux: I can agree with that sentiment

Dash: we’re groovy then

Lux: Of course 😊

Lux: enjoy your evening

Dash: back at you, golden girl ☀️🎇👸🏼

Lux: I like your outfit too

Lux: it’s very ☀️🧙🏽‍♀️🎶🥁🎸🪕🧚🏿‍♂️🌿🌼🧚🔮💃💫🔥🕺🏻🌳💗🍯🍻

Dash: [comes over and ties a chain of flowers around her wrist like it’s a friendship bracelet energy]

Lux: [clearly delighted with this]

Dash: [ask her if she wants to dance even though you know damn well she’s only observing because kind of boy you are]

Lux: [so rude lowkey when she’s struggling so hard with what she does and doesn’t believe now, we’re in enough of a dilemma without your help but there we go; thus we will go dance with you because we do want to and we can make arguments that that isn’t joining in with the rituals of it all]

Dash: [he’s lucky Amber is busy because she would fight him, but instead enjoy your dance you two]

Lux: [the audacity of your lies about her, we were so awkward like 😬 anyway, we will have a nice dance though]

Dash: [such a dickhead he can only be humbled by fire, full offense Nora because we’re ignoring you hen cos you’re clearly wise to his bs]

Lux: [there’s clearly a growing group of gals who are unimpressed by your nonsense and that will be interesting to navigate]

Dash: [Definitely, but yeah probably do slip away like a snek before any of those gals do kick your ass]

Lux: 🎃👠🐁🌠🕛

Dash: A 📘 for the 🔥

Lux: 🤔?

Dash: it’s a drag, all that heavy shit with her fam is a bummer, she gets to split but only til 🕛 that’s some 🌠

Lux: Yeah, it’s enough to get help though and then she gets saved

Dash: nah, to get shafted, she don’t get to dance with anyone else there, it’s a scam

Lux: 😅 who else does she need, she’s got the prince, silly!

Dash: someone who recognizes her next day?

Lux: Touche 😏

Lux: Being a 🤴 is a lot of work

Dash: What 🤴 told you that?

Lux: Where to begin

Lux: I’ve known several who would say as much and the 👸s would never disagree

Dash: Fadó, fadó, fadó a bhí ann…

Dash: but I’d shut it down from the beginning, they gotta be shining you on

Lux: I’m going to have to have translate open constantly, I see 😰

Lux: but very noble

Dash: I try, like you & your ☘️ it’s chill we’ve all got your back

Lux: It would be way worse if it was the only language any of you spoke

Lux: thank goodness 😅

Lux: there’s lots more that’s more pertinent for me to get a grip on

Dash: 🧝🧝🏻‍♀️🧝🏽🧝🏾‍♀️

Dash: we’ve got you on the rest too, like, goes without saying

Lux: Most everyone has been super welcoming

Dash: how long have you lived here?

Lux: Not long enough that that’s insulting 😋

Lux: but gosh, a couple of weeks? Must be

Dash: nah I meant cos I don't wanna explain to you what sorta place this is like you're fresh through the door if you've had loads of time to find your own way

Lux: Oh no, I’m a total n00b

Lux: Hazel got me here but I’ve kinda just been left to it since

Lux: Anything you wanna tell me would be appreciated

Dash: did Amber or Nora give you the tour?

Lux: Amber’s been super busy and Nora likes to stay in our room mostly

Dash: not super welcoming

Dash: but it’s no sweat, I’ll show you round, we’ll have a blast

Lux: they’ve both got their own stuff going on, I don’t expect them to drop it for me

Lux: but that would still be cool, thank you!

Dash: say when

Dash: it’ll be as electric under the ☀️ as the 🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌙

Lux: I can 👀 in the dark

Lux: You choose

Lux: find me when you’ve stopped having the MOST fun?

Dash: 🐺🐾🦊

Dash: Meet me in the orchard at midnight, ditching your shoes before

Dash: there’s an 🍏🌳🍎 you can 👀 the whole farm from the top of

Lux: And you’ll remember what I look like?

Dash: you look unreal

Dash: unforgettable

Lux: I got creative with the arts and crafts 🌟⚡️☀️

Lux: I’ve always made my own clothes

Lux: well, I made them for my sisters before

Lux: looking unforgettable was not the end goal there though

Lux: that was for secret

Dash: my nan would be hip to you, she used to make her own clothes, for her girl & her sister too when they wanted, it’s still a vibe for her

Lux: I will make her something then

Lux: what’s her style?

Dash: indescribable

Dash: I’ll show you pics

Lux: Awkward if your nan is cuter than you

Dash: at our age she totally was

Lux: Awh, you’re so sweet

Lux: I have nothing nice to say about my meemaw

Dash: keep it for mine when you meet her

Lux: You’re gonna introduce me to your nan? 😊

Dash: right on, she’ll wanna put whatever you make on for you to 👀 & it’s only a few fields over

Lux: 🏞 it’s a crazy beautiful spot to live, that’s for sure

Lux: so you live with her?

Dash: Yeah, my ma grew up there & when my parents called it quits she wanted to move back

Lux: You’re close-knit

Lux: that’s special

Dash: closer than I am to my da

Lux: Does that upset you?

Dash: I don’t let it upset my equilibrium, he’s uptight, that’s his problem not mine

Lux: I understand

Lux: I don’t agree with my dad on a lot of things

Lux: it’s still sad though

Dash: I got killer people round me, a 2nd family here accepting me for who I am, it ain’t cool he don’t, but they give me what I need

Lux: I’m happy for you

Lux: Seriously

Lux: again, that’s special, you should be really grateful

Dash: I am, believe me

Dash: you’re gonna scope out how special it is here now I’m in charge of showing you everything

Lux: I’d love to see your 🌍 how you see it

Lux: Kinda sounds like everything I need, honestly

Dash: you can, easily when we’re sharing a branch

Lux: 🧚‍♀️ you’re dainty, I trust you won’t let me fall

Dash: I’ll let you fall into something good though, new heights

Lux: Will it hurt?

Dash: no way

Lux: You aren’t pranking me, are you?

Dash: there’s no plastic on me, I’m being real with you

Lux: If you’re gonna try and jump me out in the orchard I’ll have to show you crazy and I really can’t afford to lose this place okay

Lux: so if I believe you right now and you were lying, it’ll be worse than it would’ve been, you feel me?

Dash: Hurting you isn’t my action, I’m about a gentler touch than that

Lux: and I’m not a bully, that’s not my vibe so that’s the warning out of the way

Dash: avenging 👼 I get it

Lux: My costume has you fooled, I think

Dash: Wait, so you’re pranking me?

Lux: No, I swear! 😅

Lux: I don’t feel like I’ve been anywhere near as nice to you as you have to me though

Dash: but you did dance with me & that was choice

Lux: I wanted to

Dash: me too, I wasn’t asking just to be nice

Lux: even though you’re very nice

Lux: I believe that

Dash: I think we’re getting somewhere

Lux: You understand why I’d find a boy like you being interested in me dubious at first, right

Dash: Nah, but I’m listening

Lux: Well it’s embarrassing to say

Dash: alright, listen, I think you’re the most

Dash: I’m embarrassed I’ve not met you before tonight

Lux: There are so many people to meet

Lux: and you’re like the 🤴 of this place, huh

Lux: you have to dance with all the ugly stepsisters too

Dash: if Amber said write that to bait me I’m shutting up

Lux: I think Amber left 🤔

Lux: And who’s calling her ugly, even if you guys have beef, like no way

Dash: & Nora’s gotta be back in your room cos that’s her bag, yeah?

Dash: so where are you?

Lux: I’m in the middle of [one hippie activity] and [another]

Dash: [go find her and dance with her again obvs, we can be bolder about if some of the haters are gone and it’s later so he’s clearly a bit more drunk/high by now too]

Lux: [the way you’re probably sober like how lmao, not saying you always are or will be ‘cos no but gotta have our wits about us ‘cos witchery is afoot; but yeah we all know it can shamelessly way more of a Thing™]

Dash: [at least Amber was too until her row with the bae even if she wasn’t the most present in other ways, so it wasn’t just you gal, but yeah, dispel any remaining fears she may have that you’re not into this please boy with this moment]

Lux: [we know you got your own going on, it’s good, this drama has to happen whether you like it or not babe sorryyyy, when you’re then even more into it because it’s like HELLO IS THIS ALLOWED, so new and fresh to get to remotely be this brazen]

Dash: [shouldn’t LOVE that for you but I do, we should probably let y’all go on your tour then because we’re both in a mood and there’s nobody to separate you]

Lux: [probably, but I will insist on making you wait ‘til midnight regardless]

Dash: [it is a fat mood and I did pick that time deliberately so yeah, dance the night away first hens]

Lux: [sure it’s probably near that time anyways]

Dash: [yeah absolutely]

Lux: [we can skip to the after in this if you like?]

Dash: [are we thinking am like did y’all fall asleep together or?]

Lux: [Hmm, do we go with the Cinderella and have her bounce or do we go against it and not, because then she would think he wasn’t a dick later]

Dash: [even though he’s a dick I still want all the cute I can grab with my smol hands]

Lux: [it’s not like you can’t be like I just fell asleep it’s nbd with it so yeah okay

Dash: [I also like the camber parallel of it all so]

Lux: [true true, we can do it, then you can just have breakfast as a group because duh, was it sunday or monday today?]

Dash: [I think it’s sunday aka Cosmo is having his 2nd date with Ruby tonight and then Camber breakfast dates start monday]

Lux: [okay then you will have to think of a creative way to ditch her then boy hohaha]

Dash: [at least he can just go home because Amber only stayed to angrily eat some fruit and Cosmo had a busy day ahead because I doubt the shower situation at this commune is thriving, water probably runs out always]

Lux: [what a poser lmaooo]

Dash: [and very rude not to invite her when she probably wants to shower or bathe too]

Lux: [we literally got gems stuck to our face but pop off]

Dash: [we know you’re not because your mother is there and sick of your behaviour but yes, it wouldn’t kill you to let her boy]

Lux: [no offence but run him over, anyway, some time later]

Lux: are you ⬇️🍄?

Dash: 🛹⚡️

Lux: aha, cool

Lux: good thing you didn’t invite me I’d end up 🤕 for sure

Dash: I didn’t stop you falling out of a tree last night to have you fall off a board later in the AM

Lux: Hey, you make it sound like I was 🤏 close! 😆

Dash: nah, your balance is sound

Lux: I don’t recall you stepping on my toes, either

Dash: don’t wanna have to start the day off doubting your 🍒 recall, that’d be a bad scene

Lux: I was totally sober thank you 😅

Dash: easy to claim the magic’s all you when I ain’t met you before but I’m a believer

Lux: Wait, was that a compliment or a diss?

Lux: Maybe I’m contact-wasted

Dash: contact with Nora would get you more sober, there’s a diss

Lux: Awh, don’t be mean!

Lux: She’s been really nice

Dash: chill out, I’m only playing

Lux: Hmm 😏

Lux: anyway, what are you doing later?

Dash: I said I’d hang with Yara

Lux: Oh cool, who’s that?

Dash: I’ll introduce you after

Lux: after what?

Dash: we’re done messing around

Lux: wow, alrighty then

Dash: you’ll like her, she’s a trip

Lux: I’m not totally sure she’d want you to 💬 that

Lux: or I’ll know what to 💬 now

Dash: it’s no biggie

Lux: idk, this is not the way I was raised

Lux: you say it’s not but idk, you know

Dash: you don’t have to meet her

Lux: Yeah

Dash: I think she’s rad but you gotta make up your own mind

Lux: It’s not about her

Dash: nah, you, I understand where you’re coming from, it’s a new world

Lux: Right, it seems really icky to me that you’d tell me any of this

Lux: it’s not about how rad she could be

Dash: Come on, Lux, I’m keeping this honest

Lux: I guess

Lux: Why do you need to tell me though, I don’t get it, for real?

Dash: I like you, I don’t want it to get twisted

Dash: 📖

Lux: Okay, I appreciate the sentiment then

Dash: I’ll come find you later, on my own

Lux: That’s okay

Lux: I’ve got lots of chores to catch up on

Dash: they’ll be done faster if I help you

Lux: I can’t stop you

Lux: the place is a mess after last night and the more people who pitch in the better

Dash: I don’t get why you’d wanna stop me

Lux: I don’t really wanna hang out now, not today anyway

Dash: I can’t believe you’re being like this

Lux: Being like what?

Dash: Amber

Lux: I’m not

Lux: you can’t hang out now, I can’t hang out later, how is it any different?

Dash: the way I’m travelling through today is a straight line, yours is all over the place

Lux: Good for you?

Lux: It doesn’t matter either way though

Dash: doing a u turn on me does matter

Lux: It does?

Lux: because last night you thought I was rad, so obviously this morning I wanted to hang out with you again, so I think it’s my turn to do the 180, if you think about it

Dash: I still think you are, last night was unreal & we can be again, I’m just asking you to take 5 cos I can’t split on Yara after making plans time ago

Lux: That’s fine, it’s not fine to be mad at me ‘cos I ask you to take 5 too

Lux: that makes it make no sense

Dash: I’m not mad at you, I’m trying to make sense of why you’re mad at me

Lux: I’m not mad at you, I’m upset

Lux: You only need to ask

Dash: idk I didn’t think this would go down how it is

Lux: Me either, I guess

Dash: you for real want space?

Lux: I don’t know

Lux: Can I get back to you on that?

Dash: yeah

Lux: I wanted to see you again

Lux: I thought you’d want to see me too

Dash: I do, you read me right last night, why are you gonna start disbelieving yourself today?

Lux: You want to see Yara more

Dash: I wanna see her too

Lux: Okay, have fun then

Dash: we cool?

Lux: I don’t know

Dash: idk what's turned you different, you were laying it on me like you got it, how I'm

like royalty & everyone wants a piece of my time

Lux: Oh my Gosh

Lux: I wasn’t being serious and I didn’t think you were

Lux: do you honestly think that, like what?

Dash: It's a touch plastic saying I'm like 👑 but still close to how it is

Lux: Um, you don’t even live here

Lux: you have a whole house and family

Dash: I'm here with my chosen family as much as I can be

Lux: Yeah, but what do you

actually do for this place, or anyone here?

Lux: The audacity to act like it’s your kingdom, that’s laughable and gross all at once

Dash: back off babe, I do whatever they need me to do

Lux: Babe-ing me right now isn’t a good look

Lux: manual labour at best makes you help, not visiting royalty

Lux: are you crazy, like, who do you think you are, seriously I’m so curious

Dash: Who are you? Thinking you can lay this trip on me about what I can & can't do

Lux: I’m not telling you you can or can’t do anything

Lux: I asked you not to call me babe, which is basic politeness

Dash: nah, you're telling me I don't belong to this place

Dash: questioning how I do like

it's up to you

Lux: I said you don’t live here, and you don’t

Lux: and I’ve never seen you contribute, maybe you were super busy before I got here, then I’ll apologize for that

Dash: you're doing a census, yeah? Hold up [everyone currently who doesn't live her like the petty prince he is]

Dash: I've got family here, they all keep me busy

Lux: Cool? Thanks for telling me who else is a tourist ???

Lux: You’re just being defensive, there’s no need if you’re secure in that and your place here

Dash: quit trying to rattle me

Lux: I’m truly not

Lux: but no, we’re not cool now

Dash: I made it known from the top where I live

Lux: Where you live isn’t the issue

Dash: what's your issue? I'm loved & welcomed here, that's all I said

Lux: That’s nice

Lux: I don’t really want to discuss my issue with you, with you, right now, if that’s okay

Dash: later then

Lux: See you around, Dash

Dash: I can't believe you think I'm a flake, this has me totally unglued, you know

Lux: I don’t feel great about it either

Dash: how can I make you feel less bummed out?

Dash: your tour was the most far out I've ever given

Lux: I don’t think you can, it’s done now

Lux: I just need some time to change what I thought this was, or was gonna be, in my head

Lux: but thanks, for offering

Dash: take your time to 👀 what we can be & how you wanna evolve

Lux: Maybe we can be friends later on

Dash: I’d dig it

Lux: I liked talking to you last night

Dash: I felt more connected to you than I usually do

Lux: I don’t think you’re an awful person, FYI

Lux: I just think you could’ve been clearer, and accept that you hurt me without getting way defensive, you know?

Lux: I can accept you didn’t mean to

Dash: I thought I was being clear

Lux: Yeah, I know

Lux: I’m from a very different background and place, it just didn’t translate well, clearly

Dash: yeah

Lux: but I thought I’d put that across well enough that you got that too

Dash: I do get you, but I can’t 180 myself to fit

Lux: No, I’m not asking you to fit my understanding, it’s fine you don’t

Dash: What are you asking?

Lux: Nothing, honestly, I’m trying to explain why I’m upset

Lux: Just like you can’t 180, I can’t change how I see and feel about it immediately, even if some of the ways I were raised are outdated or potentially bad, you know

Lux: You don’t need to do anything

Lux: From my perspective, it felt like a 180 and hurtful to tell me about hooking up with someone else the morning after

Lux: I know how you think and operate is totally different, but that’s it

Dash: but I wanna do something, to help you

Lux: You are nice…

Lux: I don’t know though, what would help?

Dash: I meant what I said last night about showing you this place, making it feel more like a home, how it is for me

Lux: Maybe you could come back and help with the chores

Lux: I shouldn’t have said you NEVER help out, I’ve not been here long enough to make that observation

Dash: maybe it looks like I don’t, cos with family you take liberties sometimes, that kid who’s naughty at home & don’t say shit at school, comfortable to play up

Lux: I have 8 brothers, I understand 😅

Dash: you can have that too, should

Lux: I did, as much as any of us did

Lux: I was a boy, remember

Dash: with 0 limits though, people trying to control & change what you do is for outside of here, I don’t have to think in my dad’s 🟥🟧🟨🟩🟦🟪⬛️⬜️🟫 way or do what my ma reckons is righteous

Lux: Sounds idyllic, Dash

Dash: it is

Lux: You have to understand my experience of people doing exactly what they want means someone is being exploited or abused for that person’s privilege

Lux: my parents had their utopia at the price of the things we wanted, needed

Dash: that’s why you need this new experience

Lux: Okay

Lux: I do want new experiences

Dash: the farm has the magic to grant you whatever you’re here for, no wish is the wrong size

Lux: You really seem to believe it so I will try too 😊

Dash: I’m about to 🛹⚡️ back if you wanna clean the opposite end or hide from me in the 🍏🌳🍎

Lux: That’s cool

Lux: but thanks for the warning 💗

Dash: don’t let how out of this world you look distract me then

Lux: I so don’t so that won’t be an issue 😌

Dash: It's an accident, huh? I feel you, it must be my fault I can’t look away

Lux: You’re way too smooth for your own good

Lux: but I wouldn’t say that’s a fault, necessarily 🤭

Dash: Hey, I didn’t manifest you into being, even if last night did feel like it had to be cosmically devined somehow

Lux: I felt it too

Lux: no one has ever

Lux: not like that anyway

Dash: you’re like a song I can’t get out of my head, I don’t want it to turn sad

Dash: I’m sorry I got you unglued too

Lux: It’s a lot more complicated than just you

Lux: it’s a whole thing

Dash: You’re gonna find people to share how heavy it is

Lux: 🤞

Dash: they’ll carry you through & even if it’s Amber I won’t let it bug me

Lux: I’m sure that’s a misunderstanding

Lux: I could talk to her? Subtly, of course

Dash: yeah, her misunderstanding me, you’ve got your reasons, she’s not new to any of this

Dash: her problem is she thinks she’s the most & everyone else should think she’s choice no matter what

Lux: Do you think she likes your brother?

Dash: no way, unless she’s got a football obsession now too

Lux: 🧲 maybe

Dash: idk

Lux: Me either

Lux: it just seems a bit crazy otherwise

Dash: he’s as uptight as my da, she’s never gonna get nowhere trying to mess around with him, whatever she’s doing it for

Lux: She won’t have any problem finding someone new

Lux: you said he’s older, right?

Dash: not loads, but he’s gonna be done with school in a sec

Lux: I see

Lux: so you’re the 👶

Dash: til my dad’s new lady puts her demands in

Dash: how many sisters you got to go with your 8 bros?

Lux: you don’t like her at all, huh

Lux: and 5, so they had a tough job being outnumbered

Dash: you heard of a WAG? That’s her whole deal

Dash: whoa, so you had a full time secret sewing job

Lux: yes, we lived in England for a while, that’s how I ended up here

Lux: like a Kardashian, I can see you not having a lot to bond over

Lux: exactly 😂

Dash: you gotta teach me, my nan would be jazzed

Lux: I’d love to!

Lux: there’s a surplus of old clothes to practice on

Dash: still a chore, we get to skip cleaning, yeah?

Lux: Mending isn’t as fun as creating but you’ve got to start somewhere so, I think so 😊

Dash: 😁

Dash: we’ll have a blast cos I gotta start somewhere on earning your forgiveness too

Lux: You’re sweet, Dash

Dash: I’m being for real

Lux: I know you are

Lux: I don’t know what to say though because I’m awkward 😳

Dash: it’s a hands on kinda task & you already know what you’re doing with it, it’ll be me feeling 😳

Lux: No flirting, only crafting

Dash: 🧷📏🧵✂️🧶📍✨

Lux: That’s a very impressive emoji selection

Dash: missing 😍💞🥰💓😘💘 but it’s chill

Lux: Idiot 😏

Dash: 💟 is the compromise

Lux: Okay, that’s adorable

Lux: allowed 🤭

Dash: [show up and take her hand to lead her off to sew, we know you weren’t far away bitch]

Lux: [the way you just melt when he shows, oh gal]

Dash: [I’m upset about it]

Lux: [we know you really like him, for better and worse rn]

Dash: [thank god he does actually like you and it’s not a straight up Drew and Ro situation happening]

Lux: [we can only do that ‘cos they both lowkey suck so we aren’t sad lmao]

Dash: [I like this gal too much to be that evil]

Lux: [it’s drama enough without it being entirely one-sided like no lol]

Dash: [I hope some sewing does take place amidst the blatant flirting because learn a useful skill for once in your life dickhead]

Lux: [we aren’t gonna just roll over immediately ‘cos actually did upset us so you will have to]

Dash: [yay]

Lux: [so that’s probably the vibe for today ‘cos yeah we absolutely won’t even though it’s clear we still like you like that too, so you’ll just have to hang out platonically]

Dash: [it’s gotta be the vibe for a while, sucks to suck boy, but obviously hang out until that girl comes to find you because you clearly do also wanna hang out with her platonically it’s not just like that vine where he breaks the skateboard]

Lux: [a quality vine]

Dash: [do we wanna leave this here?]

Lux: [I think we can]

[let-it-raines]

Second in Command (32/35)

Summary: Life as the “spare to the heir” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be when you’re the supposed screw-up of the family, but people don’t know what really happens behind closed doors. 

Rating: Mature 

A\N: Hey look, I changed the title from epilogue to just being a chapter count. I was keeping it that way for consistency, but, you know, I felt ridiculous once we got to about part five of this so called epilogue. lol. Anyways, here’s a nice, long chapter full of all kinds of goodies (it’s another Christmas chapter, you say?) that I enjoyed writing. I hope you enjoy reading!

Out of curiosity (and maybe a little bit of a call for inspiration), what would you guys like to see out of their future since the last three chapters will be skipping around a bit?

AO3: Beginning | Current 

Tumblr Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |

Sequel Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Tag list: @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @kmomof4 @wellhellotragic @ekr032-blog-blog @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @kristi555 @teamhook @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @artistic-writer @branlovesouat @dreadpirateemma @alys07 @andiirivera @emmas-storybook @superchocovian @in-spirational  @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings @shireness-says @jonirobinson64

The tree in their living room is Andy’s new favorite thing. He likes the lights, the way the multiple colors glisten off of each other and off of the baubles and ornaments that adorn the lush green branches that fill the room with the fresh scent of pine. They’ve got a Christmas tree in nearly every room of their house, at least downstairs, and if she had decorated more than just this one, she would have officially felt crazy. They had other people decorate since they had to host some diplomatic officials from Denmark last week, and Brennan wanted things to be, in his words, appropriately festive.

She’s got a kid who isn’t even three months old. She doesn’t need to be “appropriately festive” and hosting dinners in her home when there are several places they could host them that wouldn’t have her pulling her hair out every time a throw pillow got out of place.

Okay, so Killian is the one who got stressed about the throw pillows everywhere, but she pretty much felt stressed all of the time while people were moving trees in and furniture out, completely changing her house from what she’s accustomed to. Well, she wasn’t stressed all of the time. Just most of it. She likes the decorations, but she also knows that they’re going to have to go through all of this again when the holidays are over and it’s time to put the decorations and trimmings away until next year.

Maybe there won’t have to be as many decorations and maybe she won’t feel the need to pull her hair out as someone knocks over her favorite framed portrait of she, Killian, and Andy that was hanging on the living room wall above the lounge chairs where a Christmas tree is now resting.

And if she’s not pulling her hair out, Andy is definitely going to. He’s very much into grabbing her hair or her earrings whenever she’s holding him, and her hair has been permanently in a braid or bun for…awhile. She did have it blown out last week, though, letting Abigail mess with it when she brought the kids over for lunch, and it was kind of nice to walk around with bouncy curls and shiny hair that’s not been mangled by a kid. Not that she really minds wearing her hair up. She usually does that anyways. Andy has just changed a lot of things about how she and Killian operate in their day to day life.

Right now, though, he’s lying on his playmat on the floor doing his tummy time with toys hanging above him while she lays on the floor with him. He can lift his head but only for a little while, and when he does, he’s always looking at the tree or at her. Maybe she needs to take him around the house so he can look at all of the trees in the house so he’ll get that gummy smile on his face that he gets whenever she or Killian talk to him.

It may be the cutest thing that she’s ever seen in her entire life.  

She may be biased.

Maybe she just needs Killian to get home from work so that she has another adult to talk to today, especially since Abigail and Liam are working today hosting some kind of Christmas party in the gardens just outside her front door. Emma thought about going, but honestly, there’s far too many kids who will swarm around she and Andy for her to be comfortable with walking out to the gardens. Besides, how could a nice party like that with all of its food and goodies be better than lying on the floor of her house with a baby who has finally come around to liking spending time on his stomach…for a little while.

The fact that he’s not wailing right now is a miracle.

A Christmas miracle maybe.

It’s not even Christmas. It’s not even Christmas Eve, but it kind of feels like this has been the longest holiday season in the history of all of the holiday seasons she’s experienced. It’s definitely the kid. This time last year she wasn’t even pregnant, so it’s weird that she has Andy right here with her now.

She got pregnant sometime around this week last year, which is super weird to think about, but also kind of fascinating.

Like clockwork, he starts wailing the moment he’s on his mat for more than ten minutes (she knew that it was too good to be true for him to like it this much), and even though she hates it, she’s going to let him suffer for one more minute before she lets him up and sits with him while she watches TV and does some last minute Christmas shopping. She’s got all of Killian’s presents and her parents’ presents bought and wrapped under the tree, but it’s difficult to think of gag gifts for the entire family. She already knows she’s going to get several things about being a mom or pregnancy or talking about her kid too much (Killian is going to get something like that too), and she wishes that everyone else had something as easy to pick on in gift form.

Though she did find Liam a sticker for his car that cautions other drivers that a student driver is behind the wheel because of him backing into a tree last month. It’s not her best work, but she’s desperate. She has no idea how Killian has done this for his entire life, especially when he used to despise his family most of the time. Actually, that’s probably what helped him out.

If she wouldn’t actually insult Allison, she’d get her something about being an overbearing mother-in-law ever since Andy was born, but Emma doesn’t have a death wish, so that’s definitely not happening.

Maybe.

She might get really and truly desperate. She definitely shouldn’t get Allison something rude.

But she still thinks about it.

“Alright, baby,” she sighs, getting up from the floor and picking Andy up with her and holding him against her chest while she walks around the room in an attempt to get him to stop crying. It’s miserable when he’s miserable, and she’s honestly not sure if it upsets her because he’s upset or because his cries are piercing. All of the kids at the party hundreds of feet away can probably hear him. “See, we’re not doing it anymore today. We’re all finished, I promise. We’re just going to chill out, okay?”

She rubs her hand up and down his back in as soothing of a motion as she can, and his cries do eventually quiet, especially as she moves him to stand outside for a minute when Indy needs to go to the bathroom. It’s not too cold, the sun shining down on them, but he’s not dressed for staying outside so she quickly hurries Indy inside and moves back to the living room to turn the television onto something with bright colors and noises that he’ll like.

It’s days like this that make her ready to go back to work, but she’s not going to complain about getting this much time off, not when she knows how rare it is for a lot of moms back home...not that America has been her home recently, but sometimes it’s hard for her to shake it off that she’s technically British. And just because her body feels less like it’s been run over by a tank than it did last week, doesn’t mean that having to do too much after not sleeping is a great idea.

Plus, nursing is hard, and she and Andy have to take a nap every afternoon just for her to make it to eight o’clock at night.

It’s better when Killian’s around or when her mom comes over for a few hours, but they’ve both had to work every day this week before taking off for the holidays. She gets Killian and Andy all to herself tomorrow though, and she’s excited. She’s kind of thinking that she’ll get Killian to help her bake some goodies to give out to their staff to go along with their gifts. She’s gotten better at baking, can make really good pies, but Killian definitely has the better touch and actually knows how to make things look much nicer than she does.

Sometimes she swears that he could make those food videos online that she spends so much time watching, but she just knows that’s never going to happen.

The front door beeps as it opens, and she gets up from the couch, bringing Andy with her as she makes her way over to greet Killian before he goes searching for them in the house. She sees him first as he’s struggling to take his tie off, finally getting it only after strands of hair fall down on forehead with the effort. He must have really hated wearing that tie today. Then again, when does he ever like wearing one?

“Hey.”

He looks over toward her voice, his lips pressing together until they part and he smiles with his entire face, teeth on display and lines bunching up around his eyes.

“Hello, my loves,” he sighs, and her stomach does a little twitch at how happy he is to see them as he walks toward them, bending down to kiss her, his freshly trimmed scruff tickling her, before he brushes his lips over Andy’s head. “Have we been good today, Andy boy?”

“Eh,” she moans, handing him over to Killian as Andy is pretty much gob smacked to see his dad, “he’s been fine. Some good moments. Some bad. We just had a fit a few minutes ago so I’m hoping that things will be fine now.” “Ah,” Killian sighs, looking down at Andy and adjusting him in his arms before he looks back at her. “What about you? I’m sorry that I’ve barely been able to answer my phone.”

“Babe, it’s fine. We have lives outside of each other, and as much as I miss having an adult to talk to when everyone is busy, I like having time by myself even with my new practically permanent attachment.”

It’s true. Sometimes she craves the days of always being around other people, like she did a bit today, but she really does love getting to have time with just she and Andy. He doesn’t judge her if she sits on the couch and pigs out all day or talks to the television to tell characters how idiotic they’re being.

“I know. So good day?”

She nods. “Good day.”

-/-

“Do you grab the gray hat?”

“It’s in the bag.”

“What about the socks?”

“I’ve got several pairs in the bag.”

“His bear thing for when it’s cold?”

“The bag, darling.”

“Okay, but what about – ”

“Emma,” Killian sighs, walking over to her and cupping her cheeks with his hands while he looks down at her with his lips pressed into a thin line, “I have every single thing that we wrote down on the list plus more. And if we forget something, since I know that’s going to be your next question, we’ll simply go out and buy it.”

“I know, I know. I just…I just,” she mumbles, blinking her eyes a bit, “I’m terrified that we’re going to forget something vital. I mean, we’re going to be away from home for days. What if I forget food or something?”

He quirks an eyebrow, and she knows that she’s said something stupid even before he points it out. “Unless you can somehow manage to leave your breasts behind, I think we’ll be fine.”

“You know what I meant.”

He applies a little more pressure to her cheeks before he leans down and presses his lips against her forehead. She closes her eyes, savoring how it feels just to be close to him like this. “It’s going to be fine. We’re going to have a nice holiday full of good food and good company with lots of people who will want to love up on Andy. He will not be in want for anything.”

“Sometimes I really hate that you’re a rational person.”

“Aye,” he agrees, swiping under her eyes, “and sometimes I really hate how you make split decisions with your gut, but we usually balance each other out. Of course, right now you’re over planning to the extreme.”

“Listen, bud, you’re the one who’s been talking about this being his first Christmas and all that jazz, and I know for a fact that you over plan all of the time. I’m not being that bad.”

“You’re being pretty bad.”

“Yeah, okay, but when we get there with an entire train car full of things and you’ve forgotten your briefs, don’t come crying to me.”

“Oh, darling,” he croons, waggling his brows while he flashes her a cheeky grin, “I won’t mind and neither should you. It’ll give you easier access and all. There won’t be any almost disasters like last year when my mum almost caught us in one of the dens.”

Her cheeks heat just thinking of that, and she can do nothing more than shake her head back and forth. He’s so dumb sometimes, but he’s got her laughing when she’s been having this irrational (or maybe totally rational) fear of forgetting something while traveling with Andy for the first time.

“That one was totally your fault,” she laughs, stepping closer to him and wrapping her arms around his waist, simply wanting to hold him for a moment or two.

“It was,” he quietly admits, moving his arms to rest around her waist, hands falling to her ass. “You okay?”

She nods against his chest before she brushes her lips over his collarbone. “Fine. I’m a little tired, maybe a little bit stressed, and I’d feel better if we were already all settled in at Sandringham.”

“Soon,” he promises. “Soon.”

And it is soon. Andy miraculously sleeps throughout the entire train ride, the constant motion probably helping when she was convinced that it was going to keep him up and upset him with the rocking. He does wake up when they’re trying to settle inside, and it pretty much takes ten people to do the work she and Killian did to get everything on the train. But soon they’re swept up in greeting family, chatter and laughter filling one of the sitting rooms as they all fill up on tea and coffee while nearly every person comes over to her and asks if they can have Andy for a little while. She’s definitely okay letting other people have him while she’s in the same room. She can keep an eye on him while also not having to worry about anything but getting to drink her coffee and talk to Abigail and Rebecca while Brennan is holding Andy while he’s sitting on a sofa with Allison on the other side of the room.

Everything is a bit chaotic, but she kind of likes it that way right now. She likes the way she and Abigail can’t get through a conversation without laughing, Rebecca looking at them like they’re crazy, and she likes the way that she can hear Killian and Liam laughing even though they’re nowhere near them right now. She’s got this big crazy family who she loves despite how they treated her when they first met, and she goes to bed that night with her face aching from the smile that’s been there all day.

Christmas Eve is the same, even if the schedule is a bit more rigid than any other day. She’s got a long list of all of the ridiculous things and traditions that come with being in this family, but the amount of outfit changes she goes through on this day where they don’t even leave the house has got to be one of the most ridiculous. It’s nice that she can stay in jeans and a sweater for the first part of the day as they eat a late breakfast and head outside for the football match. She’s not playing this year, not quite feeling up to getting absolutely roughed up like what happens every year.

Seriously. Killian and Liam do not play nicely. She honestly thinks it might be worse since they’ve become close, but she was never exactly here to watch beforehand.

“Is Mummy going to win?”

“Maybe,” she shrugs, adjusting Andy in her lap as she talks to Alex and keeps Lizzie between her calves. She’s pretty much being trampled by kids, but she doesn’t mind since she’s the one who is choosing to sit today out because she’s tired. “Or maybe your daddy will win. They’re on different teams this year.” “Mummy is with Killian,” Lizzie tells her, leaning back until her head is resting right at Andy’s socked feet.

“Exactly.”

“And we’re with you.”

“Yep,” she laughs, reaching down to tug a little at Lizzie’s hair while Alex yells as Liam almost scores a goal, “you guys are on my team.”

Liam’s team wins, and she already knows that Killian is going to be in an absolute mood. He’ll go on and on about how Liam will have bragging rights for the entire year, and she’ll have to feign sympathy. Sure enough, Killian come jogging up to her afterward, the hair on his forehead sticking up in at least ten different directions while sweat beads at his temples.

“You know, I probably lost because you didn’t play this year.”

“Please,” she laughs, holding her hand up so he can help her rise from the ground, Andy secure in her arm, “youdefinitely lost because I didn’t play this year.” Killian scoffs, rolls his eyes a bit even, before his attention falls to Andy who is reaching his hands out for his dad. “You want to go see daddy, baby?” she coos, hanging him over to Killian. “He probably needs some comforting after his tough loss.”

“You’re so comforting.” “I know,” she promises, pressing up on her toes to brush her lips over his cheek. “Maybe next year you’ll win.”

“Maybe, but now I’ll have to deal with Liam bragging for an entire year.”

Yeah, she knew that’s exactly what he was going to say. It’s almost scary how well they know each other.

Or maybe she simply knows that her husband hates losing to his brother. If she had a sibling, she’d probably be the same way. Hell, she’s that way with Killian whenever they compete against each other when out at an engagement.

She’s only slightly sure that their relationship is normal.

“Happy Christmas,” Killian whispers into her skin the next morning, the way his lips are brushing against the nape of her neck making a shiver run down her spine and reach her toes.

“Mmm,” she hums, twisting over on the mattress so that her nose rubs against Killian’s and his eyes light up even in the darkness of the room. How is that even possible? “Merry Christmas.”

“It’s early,” he murmurs before his lips find hers, their mouths coming together in a soft and comforting kiss that seems to go on forever in the quietness of their room. She’d let it go on forever, let their lips constantly stay moving, constantly stay connected, but she does have to breathe at some point. That might be overrated as the happiness that seems to be an almost unceasing lately settles in her chest.

“So you say,” she says breathlessly, rubbing her nose into his cheek and allowing herself to find comfort in the way that their lips brush over each other every time one of them speak. “Why are we up?”

“Because it’s our first Christmas with our little love, and I figured you would want some private time with him to make some of our own traditions.”

She nods her head, Killian’s scruff brushing against her skin before she quickly and sweetly glides her lips of Killian’s again, giving him a long, deep kiss to thank him for knowing what she wants nearly every time, to thank him for helping to give her this family.

“So you want to go wake up the sleeping bear?”

“Aye.”

She rises from the bed, stretching her limbs out before adjusting the top of her pajamas, pulling her shirt up from where it had fallen as she slept, and even though she knows that she should get ready before they go to church this morning, all she really wants is to spend time with her baby. He’s awake in his bassinet when she finds him, his small body clothed in pajamas with cutely drawn snowmen covering them.

“Hi, sweetie,” she sighs, reaching down and picking him up when he reaches up for her, the smile on his face as bright when he recognizes him. “It’s Christmas, Andy. Yeah, we’ve got lots to do today, but mommy and daddy want to spend time with you after we’ve got you all changed.”

He’s surprisingly easy this morning, and she knows that it has nothing to do with the holiday. He has no idea that today is supposed to be something special. To him he’s simply in a new environment with different decorations than at home, and really, spending the morning opening presents for him and telling stories is more for she and Killian than for him. He won’t remember any of this, won’t remember how Killian practically packed an entire new library of books for him, won’t remember how she tells him the story about how on Christmas last year she and Killian decided that they wanted to expand their family so they could have him, and he won’t remember the way that the three of them sit on the ground next to a tree with all of their faces cast in different colored lights while he laughs in fascination over Emma sticking her tongue out only to make it disappear, making him scream out in giggles.

She’ll remember though.

She’ll remember it all, and with the way Killian is looking at her, fondness obvious in his gaze as his eyes never stray from his face, she knows that he will too. She also knows that she’ll remember the way something flutters inside of her while blush rises on her cheeks as she’s reminded once again just how loved she is now.

Just how loved she’ll always be.

-/-

There’s a line of dresses in front of her ordered by color and size. Some of them are seem simple, just plain chiffon dresses, while others sparkle and shine under the light of her bedroom. She’s been married to Killian for over two and a half years, has been having to wear these gowns for even longer than that, but she’ll still never quite get used to how people send her dresses whenever she has an event to go to.

She wore jeans to work pretty much every day of her life, and she definitely misses that sometimes.

But she’s apparently being overwhelmed with gowns right now since it’s her first official event back from maternity leave even though she’s not really going back to work until sometime in the spring. She’s done a few things here and there, but most of them have been family events like Christmas two weeks ago or Andy’s Christening back in November. So she hasn’t disappeared like most people assume (seriously, she stumbled across an article the other day saying her pregnancy was fake and that’s why she didn’t make a public appearance with Andy at the hospital and it’s how she managed to look so good at the Christening of her fake baby…this is what she gets for using Ruby’s snapchat and scrolling through the stories, but she does appreciate the fact that they thought she looked nice), but apparently it’s become some kind of big deal for her to show up in public.

She’s kind of thinking that people are just pissed that no one has managed to get any paparazzi pictures of Andy outside of his Christening. And they only released the one picture of him when he’s sitting with her, so she and her son are just mystery human beings, she guesses. But she doesn’t have any regrets. This is right for them, and she wouldn’t change anything.

She’s feeling a little overwhelmed by the dress selection in front of her, but she doesn’t have any regrets.

“What should Momma wear?” she asks Andy who’s on his playmat doing his tummy time. He actually likes it today, so she’s super thankful for that. He’s growing a lot, and what he likes and hates are definitely already changing. “Do you know, baby? I bet you’d like the ones that have flowers on them so you can pull at them, which probably means those are not the ones.”

“Are you talking to yourself, darling?”

She turns her head to the door of the bedroom where Killian’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face that makes her stomach twist. But in a good way. She didn’t even hear him come upstairs.

“I’m talking to sir Andrew over there. I like to think that he talks back.”

Killian barks out a laugh before walking toward her and coming to stand behind her, immediately wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on the top of her head. “One day he will, and his first word will be couture.”

“Do you practice that with him?”

Killian hums behind her, and she can feel the vibrations of it all the way down to her toes. Now would be a really good time for Andy to want to take a nap, and then for she and Killian to turn their phones off and have some private time. “I practice the words mummy and mama with him, mostly because I love you so damn much and talk about you all of the time.”

She scoffs before twisting in Killian’s arms and putting her hands on his chest, making him move a little bit as she studies his features, trying to figure out whatever the hell it is he’s trying to woo her with. “Did you do something?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You’re a very sweet man, so it’s not out of the blue for you to try to butter me up with all of your pretty words, but I know for a fact that you would sell your limbs for Andy to say your name first. So why are you lying?”

“I’m not lying, darling. Andy and I really do talk about you all of the time. You’re our favorite subject.” She looks over to Andy, making sure he’s still where he’s supposed to be and not having some kind of meltdown, and she wishes she could somehow figure out what Killian is up to. It has to be something. “But I do have a little favor to ask of you.” “There it is,” she laughs, backing up from him only for Killian to slide his hands into the back pocket of her jeans and pull her back to him. “What ever could you need from me?”

He dips his head down and quickly slants his lips over his in the way that takes her breath away every time. And he knows that too. The man is a damn good kisser, and if she wasn’t so curious as to what he wants, she’d turn to, like, human jelly right then and there.

Now that would be something else.

“Goodness gracious, babe, just tell me.”

“Well, I was thinking.”

“That always goes so well.” “That joke never gets funnier, love.” “I think that it does.” “Anyways, I was thinking about all of these beautiful gowns that arrived for you today and how you’ve agreed to be my date for the prom.” “It is not the prom. We’re not teenagers in America.” “Yes, but I feel like I’m a teenager in love when I’m with you.”

“I will literally say yes to whatever you’re about to ask if you promise to never be that cheesy again.” “I can’t make that promise.” She slaps his chest and shakes her head, her gaze traveling between Killian and Andy. “Get on with it then.”

“So I’m thinking after we go to the BAFTAs,” Killian continues, palming her ass the slightest bit, “that instead of coming home to our lovable little munchkin, you and I go to a hotel. Or we can come here. But the point is, we don’t have a baby to come home to.” “What are you planning on doing with him?”

He’s not going to make the kid disappear or something far more nefarious, so she doesn’t even know why she asks.

“I’m planning on him staying with your parents for the night. They have a nursery for this purpose, love. And we just installed the new security system and fence for them.”

“You want me to leave him for an entire night?” He nods his head up and down at the same time that she feels tears forming in her eyes. Nope. She’s not going to cry. She’s not. Leaving him for an entire night doesn’t terrify her or anything.

It terrifies her a lot.

“Darling, it’ll be fine. It’s just a night, and if you want to wake up before the sun rises to go pick him up, we can. I will miss him just as much as you do, but we’ve got to graduate from the ‘just a few hours’ thing we’ve been doing. Plus, we can have a night together without a baby monitor sitting next to the bed.” “So you want to leave him so we can have this fancy date and then have sex? Because we can have this fancy date, come home and check on him, and then have sex.”

“Aye,” Killian laughs, backing them up to the bench in front of the bed and sitting down, pulling her down on top of him with a squeal, “we could, but I’m not even saying we have to have sex. You know as well as I do that neither of us are fans of planned sex, so that’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m just suggesting one night, just you and me, no baby. I don’t care what we do. We can sit in our pajamas and eat room service until we’re so bloated we can’t move all while talking about how we love the rolls on Andy’s arms. Maybe we immediately get there, strip out of our clothes, and make love like we did when we had just gotten together and your parents went out for the night and left us alone to have the entire apartment together. Or maybe,” Killian sighs, placing a kiss on both of her cheeks that makes her smile, “we simply get a full night of uninterrupted sleep.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Which one?” “All of them.”

“So you’ll consider letting me take you fifteen minutes away from him for less than twelve hours?”

She both wants to an doesn’t want to all at the same time. She knows that she should, that he’ll be fine without her, and she really does think that the night will be nice. They deserve to just be them every now and then. “Well, when you put it like that, I’d be ridiculous to say no.”

“Good,” Killian sighs, kissing her again before moving her off of his lap so he can pick Andy up from the floor and blow a raspberry on his stomach that makes Andy laugh like Killian’s just done the most hysterical thing in the world. “Did you hear that, little lad? Mummy has agreed to go on a date with daddy, and you’re going to spend the night with Mimi and Papa. Yeah, you are.”

“I could still change my mind.” “I expect that,” Killian admits, walking over to her with Andy in his arms. She reaches over and moves his hair off of his forehead. At the rate it’s growing, they’re going to have to get it cut before he’s even one unless it all starts to fall off like she’s read about, and she’s not ready to think about that. She’s just now thinking about spending the night away from him. “You should wear the emerald dress, darling. It’ll bring out your eyes, and I know you’ll look beautiful in it.” “How can you even see what it looks like from here?”

He shrugs as much as he can with Andy on him. “I looked through them when they first arrived.”

“Why?”

“I was curious, and I knew that you would spend far too long deciding even with the help of your assistant in training.”

She walks toward the rack of clothes and thumbs through them until she gets to the emerald dress Killian was talking about. It’s beautiful, they all are, but this one seems light and airy, like it will flow as she walks. It also looks like it’s going to dip down her entire chest and require some major taping so she doesn’t flash everyone with her breasts. She’s not even sure if she can wear this.

She kind of wants to wear this.

“You realize this shows my entire chest, right?”

“Aye, that’s why I like it.” “Such a man.”

“Never claimed to be otherwise, and you know that I have some very specific feelings about your breasts.”

She does end up picking the emerald dress and getting it altered. She really liked that way that it dipped down, and if she could get away with it without Brennan and Allison having a heart attack, she’d wear it just like that. Instead she gets some lace added to it, and as she’s zipped up into it the evening of the BAFTAs, she’s happy with the way it turned out.

For someone who has been walking around the house in leggings and a sweater with her hair falling out of a messy bun, she’s kind of excited to be this dressed up. She’s not a fan of the shoes she’s got to spend all night in, but for the first time since Andy was born, she feels a bit…she doesn’t really know how she feels. She feels put together, like she’s about to go out and have a nice night with her husband and not have to come home and deal with someone else’s bodily functions, which is exactly what she’s doing. She thought about backing out of Andy spending the night with her parents several times in the last few days, but she always convinced herself not to.

It was really hard.

She’s super obsessed with her child no matter how many days he makes her want to pull out her hair, and she doesn’t see that obsession tampering. She just doesn’t.

So tonight will be good. It’s a baby step, and she’s going to go on a date with Killian, even if her preferred date with Killian is sitting in their bed in comfortable clothes eating good food and having the television playing in the background all the while they’re hysterically tired and telling awful jokes that have their stomachs hurting from all of the laughter. It may be a bit boring, but she likes doing that with Killian. It’s how they got to know each other, and it’s them in every single way.

That’s what they’re going to do later. She’s about to rack up a hell of a room service bill and absolutely not care about the diet and exercise plan that she’s been on. She deserves it.

She wonders if they have macaroni and cheese. They better have macaroni and cheese. She did not eat nearly enough macaroni and cheese when she was pregnant. Killian kept the food in the house far too healthy, even if he would let her indulge in her wants of cherry pie and cupcakes. Or really just the icing. She’s pretty sure Killian kept a secret stash of icing somewhere in the apartment just for her.

He just wouldn’t tell her where.

It’s probably still somewhere. She and Andy are going to go on a hunt for that sometime soon while Killian is at work.

Her dress is far too tight for her to be thinking about all of this food.

“Hot damn,” Killian whistles, walking out of the bathroom and straightening his bow tie. Hot damn is right. So maybe there are some benefits to going out tonight outside of the macaroni and cheese. Her husband looking fucking attractive one of them. “I see one smoking hot mum.”

She feels the blush rise in her cheeks, her entire body heating, and she simply shakes her head back and forth, her earrings moving with it. That’s one of Killian’s new favorite things to say, and while she knows he probably picked up on it from Ruby, she doesn’t mind. “Thank you, babe. You look nice.”

He winks at her before stepping a little closer to her, the tips of their shoes touching while he runs his hands over her shoulders, the metal of his wedding ring cool against the heat of her skin. He leans down to press a kiss against her right shoulder, then her left, and her entire body tingles with the mixture of his lips and newly trimmed scruff against her skin. Okay, so this night is sounding better and better. Or at least feeling that way.

“Your mum is waiting downstairs with Andy so we can say goodbye, Thomas has already had our bags sent to the hotel, and all of Andy’s things are packed up and loaded into your mum’s car. You ready to go?”

She nods her head before they make their way downstairs. She has to hold her dress up a bit and hold onto Killian’s elbow as they walk down the steps, but when she’s finally down on flat ground, she feels a little more accustomed to walking in heels again. Plus, she can hear her mom talking to Andy in the sitting room next to the front door that’s pretty much where all of his toys downstairs tend to find their home when she and Killian decide to clean things up.

Imagining what it’s going to be like when he gets a bit older and can actually play with the toys by moving them around himself is terrifying. Killian might go insane.

No, Killian will go insane.

“Oh, look, Andrew,” her mom coos as she and Killian come into sight, and Emma tries not to laugh at how her mom nearly always calls Andy by his full name. She’s just thankful she doesn’t walk around calling him Prince Andrew Killian. Every time someone calls him by that name, she cringes a bit. She understands, but she cringes. He’s just Andy and sometimes Andrew if it slips off her tongue. “Mummy and daddy look so nice, yeah, they’re going to have a date, and you’re going to spend the night with Mimi.”

“Let me cuddle him for a minute, Mom,” she says, taking a step closer and taking Andy into her arms and cuddling him against her skin while he reaches for her earrings. “Be good for Mimi, baby. I know me saying this doesn’t help, but I can hope. Yeah, I can hope that you’re going to be a good boy.” She looks up at her mom all the while she runs her hand up and down Andy’s back, feeling the softness of his little sweater. It makes him look like a grown man, and she finds weird enjoyment in dressing a baby in similar clothes that Killian and her dad wear. He’s got this beanie and plaid shirt that match Killian’s, and it’s adorable. “You’ve got all his stuff? His milk, the warmer, clothes, diapers?” “I packed the bag, love,” Killian tells her, stepping up to her and placing his hand on the small of her back. “Everything is in there.” “Okay, okay,” she sighs, nodding her before kissing the crown of Andy’s head. “I love you, baby. So, so much. Mom, call if anything’s wrong or if you’re just overwhelmed. Or maybe just to tell me how he is. We can come at any time.” “Sweetie, I know how to take care of a baby. You two go have fun.” “We will,” Killian promises as he takes Andy out of her arms and hugs him for minute, whispering words in his ears that she can’t hear before handing him over to her mom.

God, this is going to be hard, but she can do this. Most moms have already done this. She can do this.

“Let’s go, love.” Killian puts his hand on the small of her back again and guides her out of the apartment, grabbing her clutch along the way.

After twenty minutes in the car, every single one of which she worries about leaving Andy overnight with her mom despite how much she wants this night, Thomas is pulling them up to the drop-off zone at the BAFTAs, and she is already blinded by the lights of the cameras. It’s almost like her eyes have become adjusted to the lack of photographers over the past few months, and she can’t quite get adjusted to it this quickly, especially when the sun has set.

“It’s just for a few minutes, love,” Killian promises, stepping out of the car and holding his hand out to help her out, her dress having to be kicked as she moves. “And then we’ll be inside and get to watch the show.” “Thank you.” She successfully gets out of the car, smoothing her dress out and doing a quick last minute adjustment to her dress and earrings before Thomas and Isabelle lead them along the carpet and through the crowds until they’re in the building. “I’m excited to be here even if I seem a little wary,” she promises later while they’re standing behind the doors that will lead them to their seats.

“I know,” he tells her, holding his arm out to offer her support before they walk down the stairs. “We’re going to have a nice night, Andy is going to be fine, and I’m going to consistently remind you of how absolutely beautiful you are.” “I like you when you’re sweet.” “So always?”

“Eh.”

It’s only a quick walk down the stairs, but she feels like she might as well be walking the stairs of a football stadium with how everyone is staring at her and standing. That’s something she’ll never quite get over. Truly. People stand for her when she doesn’t deserve it in the slightest. She understands that it’s tradition, that she’s part of a historic family, but to her, she feels like she should be standing for all of these actors and how absolutely obsessed she is with their work. But life is weird, and even with all of these oddities, she knows that she wouldn’t change anything to get to keep the people who matter most to her.

Not at all.

The show is great, and it speeds by, even during the slow moments. Killian keeps her entertained, whispering his own commentary during every presentation and all of the attempts at humor, even when several of the jokes are about the two of them. She’s heard much worse about herself, so a little friendly fire is nothing. She honestly kind of likes it. Who is she to not like a good bit of comedy?

Nearly every break that happens they have someone come up to speak to them, and she falls so easily back into her role of someone who can have a conversation with a brick wall and still attempt to make it interesting. But tonight actually is interesting, and she’s getting to meet people who have made her laugh and cry all while within the comfort of her own home whether that home be in Maine, an apartment above a pub, or in Kensington. By the time they’ve been there for hours, she can feel smile lines in her cheeks and an ache in her feet despite having been seated for most of the night. Mostly, though, she feels the way Killian’s thumb is moving over her knuckles in a soothing pattern for the entire night, and it brings her a comfort that no one else in the room could.

They bow out before the show is over, walking through dark hallways made of concrete to find their way out a back entrance so they can privately get in their car and be driven to their hotel where the exact same thing happens, Isabelle checking in for them while Thomas gets them up to their suite without running into other guests. She’s sure it was quite the ordeal planning that, that Thomas would have much rather they stayed at home, but she doesn’t think about it too much and she toes out of her heels and lets her feet sink into the plush carpeting of their room while Killian undoes his bowtie, unbuttoning a few buttons as he goes to expose the dark hair on his chest.

She steps over to him, her dress trailing on the floor around her legs as she moves, until she’s close enough that she can undo the buttons on his shirt, deftly flicking them open until she can see the way his stomach muscles move with each heavy, steadying breath that he takes. Her finger traces along the line of hair, and she feels him twitch, which only makes her smile to herself, a bit of giddy anticipation settling inside of her at how her touch electrifies him. It’s powerful to have that kind of effect on someone else, but she knows that it’s not just her. He does the same thing to her.

“So we’re skipping dinner then?” he breathes out, his voice hitching while she continues to press her nails into his skin, scratching and tracing around his nipples all the while her eyes stay trained on his skin, on the way that his collarbone is peeking out from under his shirt and jacket.

“Oh no,” she laughs, finally tilting her head up to look at him and the way his eyes have darkened since she last saw them, “we are definitely eating later. That was promised to me. I just want to do this first.”

“To work up an appetite, aye?”

“Aye,” she mimics, pressing up on her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck, hands in his hair, before she softly glides her lips over his in what is one of her most loved moves. His hand rests on the small of her back, the weight heavy and comfortable all at once while the fingers of his other hand thread through her hair, gently pushing her forward at the same time that his tongue flickers out to tease her. He’s unhurried in the way that he kisses her, just as she is with him, but it’s almost like there’s an urgency with the way that he caresses her with both his tongue and his hands. There should be no urgency. They have all night with no risk of interruptions, but with how frantic they have been lately, she understands that worry of having to be taken away from more pleasurable activities in order to be with their son.

“I need…I need to take off this dress.”

“I plan on getting there,” Killian murmurs against her lips before he tilts his head and trails his lips across her jaw, making the heat pool in her belly in that familiar, yet always thrilling way. “Was actually plan on getting there pretty soon.” He pulls back from her, the loss of heat instantaneous until his finger trails along the concave of her breasts, making her own breath hitch as she did to Killian earlier. “I’ve had a particularly nice view this entire evening, but I would so enjoy having a better one.”

“You could always just say you want to see my boobs. That is why you liked this dress after all.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” he questions, slowly dragging his fingers across her skin until he’s moving all of her hair over to one shoulder, kissing each inch of skin that’s now exposed. She hears the zipper move, feels the dress loosen so she can breathe, but mostly she feels Killian’s lips and his scruff as he adorns her skin with his caresses.

They’re an expert in this, have been for nearly a decade now, but they take their time undressing each other, laughing to themselves with she struggles to get the Spanx that’s been squeezing her stomach all night off in several movements that she knows cannot at all be attractive. Killian simply shakes his head, his lips stretched apart in a smile so wide that his eyes close and the lines around them crinkle, and she feels a similar one stretch across her own lips as she finally gets the material down around her feet. Such are the hazards of giving birth and then having to wear a tight dress.

Such are the hazards of simply being a woman and having to wear a tight dress.

Killian’s a bit more rushed with his pace after that, and while she can feel his headiness pressed against her thigh, warm and hard, he takes the time to kiss her, to move over her, and she’s practically squirming by the time his fingers trail through her folds while his breath ghosts over her hipbone and the stretch marks that reside there. She’d been so self-conscious about them for awhile, so worried about the way that they mark her skin, and while those feelings haven’t gone away, she tries to remind herself that she literally gave life. Those marks are nothing to be ashamed of.

And Killian has never once treated her differently because of them. She knows that’s what should happen, that he should never judge her for how her body changes, but she also knows that she’s one of the lucky ones.

In more ways than one.

He continues to tease her even as he moves back up her body, every touch setting her skin aflame in a way that she struggles to describe, to comprehend really, and she’s thankful when his mouth brushes against hers again so that she can cup his cheeks and hold him steady while her heart beats at a quick, steady rhythm within her chest.

Steady, she thinks. Killian is always steady. And yet he’s always thrilling, exciting, unexpected even when she knows his next move. He’s everything including flawed, especially including flawed, but she loves him. And they work. That’s all that really matters to her. They work.

After sinking into her, his heat encompassing her even more, he settles heavily within her, somehow weighing her down and lifting her up. It doesn’t matter if they’re frantic or slow, if they’re caring or harsh, because some things always stay the same. He always feels good inside of her, rocking within her and dragging skin against skin in a way that she knows makes both of them lose themselves for awhile.

It’s a good feeling.

Sweat beads at her forehead, likely causing her makeup to run, but she doesn’t really care, not with the way she craves this heat. Her nails trail along his back while her legs wrap around his waist and rest just above his ass as he leisurely drags himself inside of her all the while slanting his lips over hers in a warm slide. This is one of her favorite spots, favorite positions even with its frequency, and Killian always somehow manages to drive her into madness with the spots that he hits and the way he knows just what to do.

Being with someone for so long…it’s like nothing she ever would have expected it to be.

She whispers words of love and affection into his ear or against his lips, usually having to take a moment to catch her breath or to mutter a curse when he hits a particularly good spot or gets into a good rhythm while she matches her hips to his, and he does the same to her, his voice deep, husky, breathless against her skin. As the coil in her stomach tightens, every one of her senses dulled to the heady feel of Killian dragging within her, she almost cries out in pain before the pleasure reaches her. It’s not always something that reaches down to her toes, there’s not always those metaphorical fireworks, but tonight she feels a buzz across every inch of her skin while the love of her life drags his lips up and down her neck, his movements finally becoming frantic when he gets to feel the buzz too.

Once they’ve caught their breaths, she doesn’t want to move, just wants to stay with her cheek resting against the firmness of Killian’s chest, his heart beating a steady rhythm that reaffirms nothing and everything all at once. But she knows that she has to move, that at least one of them does if they want clean sheets tonight, and thankfully for her it’s Killian moving first, his lips brushing against the crown of her head before he moves and her cheek falls against a pillow. It’s comfortable, but it’s not quite the same.

By the time he comes back and sweetly cleans her up, she can feel her eyes fluttering closed, the business of the day catching up to her, but she also can feel a heaviness in her breasts, one she knows she can’t sleep with, so she does eventually get out of bed, going through their bags until she can find her breast pump. It’s a new normal, a normal she loves even with its inconveniences, and as Killian settles down next to her in bed, the muscles in his thighs obvious in her eyeline while he has one arm wrapped around her shoulder, his fingers playing with the tips of her hair as always, she thinks about how good all of these changes are.

“What do you want to eat, my love?” he asks as the machine makes this awful noise that happens nearly every time.

“Is it not too late for room service?”

“I’m sure they’re probably not expecting an order, but it does say it’s always available.”

She hums, closing her eyes for a moment, sleep calling her again almost as much as the food does, almost as much as her instinct to wonder what exactly it is that Andy is doing right now. Is he asleep? Did he eat using the bottle? Has he cried too much? Does he miss her? Can he sleep without she or Killian being there to soothe him? Does he even know that she’s gone?

“I miss him too, love,” Killian promises, and she wonders if she voiced her thoughts out loud or not, “but Dave texted me to let me know that all is good. He’s been fast asleep for hours.”

“Is he happy, do you think?”

“Of course he is.” When she feels Killian’s lips brush across her forehead, she has to close her eyes and take a deep breath in an attempt to keep the tears that are stinging behind her eyes from falling. It’s the strangest feeling in the world to struggle being apart from someone who can’t even speak yet, but she’s got this heaviness in the pit of her stomach about not being with him. She worries about something happening, about her not being there for it, and she knows that she needs to change her course of thought before she falls into the deepest of rabbit holes.

“He’s happy,” Killian insists again, “and I hope you are too. I love you.”

“I love you,” she whispers back as she rests her head on his shoulder. “What kind of food do they have?”

“Whatever your heart desires.”

She’s not even entirely sure what Killian orders, but she knows it’s all indulgent and probably too much for them. While they wait, she hangs up her gown, making sure not to mess it up for when she wants to wear it again, and begins the long process of removing her makeup and brushing through her hair, which is only more tangles now from the way Killian’s fingers tangled themselves in it and from the way sweat gathered at the nape of her neck. But eventually she’s makeup free with her hair in a simple braid, and she’s changed into pajamas that are possibly the softest thing in the world. She thought about not getting dressed, figuring that she and Killian won’t let this night be a one-time thing, but she really likes these shorts and top.

It’s a night full of indulgence, of letting themselves fall back into who they are when they’re not parents, and she absolutely stuffs her face with macaroni that’s far too fancy when she would literally eat it out of the box and with this cherry and chocolate cake that she really wants to take home with her. She might get to with the way that Killian has some of it on his cheek, the chocolate icing smeared right over the scar that resides there. She doesn’t know why, but it makes her lose herself in laughter, her stomach literally convulsing with happiness, and she’s pretty sure that it’s some kind of chain reaction thing as Killian laughs too.

His laugh is one of the good ones.

The clock ticks past three before they finally fall asleep, food put away and pajamas discarded just like she knew that they would be, and she can actually feel the smile on her face, happiness practically radiating off of her, and she dips into a slumber with the solid, steady rhythm of Killian’s heartbeat against her cheek.

It was a damn good date, one she’d like to repeat over and over again, but as they languidly get ready the next morning, enjoying the softness of the sheets and the pillows too much to get out of bed too early, she feels a bit of anxiousness wanting to be back with her child. Killian won’t admit to it, but she knows that he does too by the way his fingers fidget against her thigh and the way that he checks his phone to see if her parents have said anything else. So much earlier than they probably intended, they get Thomas to guide them out of the hotel and drive them to her parents’ house.

He’s waiting for her in his swing in the living room when she walks in the room, and her heart absolutely lifts or resettles or does something insane when he smiles up at her, recognition in his light blue eyes that she’s decided are going to stay that way forever.

“Hey, little man,” she sighs, a giggle escaping her as she smatters kisses across his face, relief settling over her that he’s just the same as he was when she left him. “I missed you so much.”

She holds onto him tightly, checking all of his features, before handing him to Killian because she knows that he needs the comfort too. She can see it in his eyes, the way they flutter closed when Andy is first in his arms, and she continues to feel the same way that that she has all night.

Happy.

“You ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Killian sighs, smiling down at her before he dips his head to quickly glide his lips over hers all the while Andy squeals in his arms, “I am.”

[heyitstesagain]

Meeting G Malkmus

30th December, 2017. Saturday, I received an anonymous like on this app, which I re- downloaded on my phone, that same night I did say hi, however didn’t hear back, so I went sleeping, after speaking to couple of those other gross people, oh and one of those bunch of peeps asked me if I’m on it to have some warmth during the winter, “warmth,” Seriously??, who talks like that, that man is a manager at a Chelsea Pizzaria, an Italian male, (eww, Italians who are into family and all, you know, guhh) who apparently was or still is in attempt to provide winter warmth to bunch of those desperate females in their 30s I guess, anywho, let’s not drag it along too much, let’s get back to focusing on G, let me refresh your memory who that is, it is that man who just liked me randomly thinking I’m a cutie, even though I revealed I’m 4’11″, and do not want children, men, huh?! And creatures that they like?!

So then the next morning, December 31, a sunny funny cozy Sunday, I was sleeping just fine and around 10.30 in the morning he said “Hey Tes, are ya originally from New York?! Hmm?! I wonder why would he ask me that?

I just said: Hi?! I evaluated these two possibilities or three, well I’m a non- white woman and from New York, so that’s usually the first question you’d get from out of towners and that’s to generate an answer to find out when did you actually immigrated to the United States? That was case one, then second was the fact, that some of those pictures that I’ve put up on that app was my recent visit to the Netherlands, he might have seen those and wanted to know if I live here or visiting, because men apparently can control their emotions based on the fact whether the female is a visitor or a locale?! Men, huh, in general?! In their entirety?!

Thirdly, which was apparently the reason he fell for me was if I indeed was born and raised in New York, because growing up at a suburban mid western town this kid has imagined himself of being born and raised in New York City?! Did he? You know how that goes with the indie/ alternative lovers, people that listened to the Velvet Underground growing up, would wanna troll Lou Reed, and at this point I’m pretty sure he legit tried to think about coming up with another soup container like Campbell like Warhol, since he’s by trade into mechanical or technical drawing?! Based on this third hypothesis: I’d say he wanted to know if I am indeed a New York breed, body and soul, full- fleshed, rigid walking and talking?! Or may be because he felt that I like him for being him? As he sensed that, or may be its familiar pain? Would I ever know? Or may be he felt that, I’m way too artistic for a non artist? And that’s his thing?  

And the exact idea of me, all of a sudden will start seeming too good be true?! As if: a non white, 30yo, NewYork woman from Queens would know Baumbach and religiously watch everything that Wes Anderson has ever done and also think of you legit resemble Mike Mills (creatively & in congruity) now that’s an anomaly?!

Well now getting back to how I responded to his asking if I’m from here, “originally?”

 “Yeah!” Short and simple, honestly I didn’t know he will write me back, came unexpected?! Why did he?!

Was that because he has devalued himself with time for the past 18 months, otherwise why would someone this talented, who makes these paintings⬇️⬇️

full of ethics and integrity and apparently intensely good-looking without even knowing have dared to write a low- life like this female, which is me, why?!

We will get back to that shortly, but then I thought, it’s Sunday morning, why did I have to go say “hi” in the first place on a Saturday night, that would generate a response kind of obvious and now I’ve to keep talking to him, so I prohibited myself from saying anything after that “yeah,” as in I’m originally from New York, for some reason later around the mid afternoon, I asked:

T: You?

G: I’m from Fort Wayne, Indiana, came to New York to make films and paint, and not be bored, Indiana is boring!

T: Okay

G: What do you do?

T: I just work

G: No I mean like for fun? Movies, or bars, or sports, or weed, or whatever?

T: I watch a lot of movies, I get paranoid with weed, and I’m an awful drinker, I sleep for fun?! Being lazy is kind of fun?!

(Wasn’t really liking him as much, and was wondering why he kept talking? On a Sunday, December 31, when guys are busy making plans for the eve), however; he responded with something which piqued my interest a little further… which goes:

G: Lol, yeah I agree with that. I’ve watched 5 movies this weekend already (inside my head, I was like, omg, I do that by the time it’s Sunday, did I meet my soul mate? ) I don’t usually watch THIS (now he does that, text in all caps to emphasize the expression/ or moment) much, but it’s fucking cold out (like oh my god, does he think that it’s civilized, and not un- hip to stay home and watch movies and not talking to people and not do activities, i. e. gym, laundry, ice- fucking- skating, rock- climbing, upstate- hiking, might have really met my souls mate, a home-body? The rarest breed in men to find, I haven’t met one before)

T: Yep, so are you not doing anything tonight?

G: I’ve a big freelance job I’ve to do tonight, you?

T: I’m not doing anything, which I don’t usually majority of the time? What kind of freelancing?

G:Video editing, I also sometimes do writing and graphic design.

What kind of thing are you looking here on KosherAllegory (I mythicized the name of the app in here, “cliched” much?!)

T: I don’t know yet, what about ya? ( I might have come off standoff- ish and non- chalant, but was not on purpose, I promise, never honestly didn’t or still don’t believe in app, however, I met my soul mate in here, him?!)

G: Hopefully a girlfriend, but not forcing it, sometimes it’s just fun to meet new people (okay so he isn’t going anywhere with me, it’s just fun to meet new people, just passing time, chatting by?!!)

T: okay, has anything ever turned serious off of here?

G: yes, I had a serious thing with a girl I’ve met on here a few years ago, when that ended I eventually used it again and met some cool people but nothings gotten too serious. Are you new to KosherAllegory?

T: Well I have it on my phone, but honestly I never use it, not finding anyone worth chatting that’s all?!

G: Oh cool, well I feel lucky then, would it be easier to just text message?

T: yeah

He then left his number and I started texted him, should of just shut it right there, right then, but I didn’t and we kept talking for three weeks before meeting on January 18th, it was a Thursday, and was extremely cold out, we both felt that our souls just connected and physically we were like those two missing pieces of a Jigsaw puzzle?!

Ironically, both our mothers had left us at a time when they were not supposed to, at a point when we would struggle forever and keep looking for a shelter, and would keep looking for them and mess up our entirety to just find that soul thats never tired of being unsatisfied?! And also we both are or have been estranged from our fathers, it’s like we have found each other!!! He’s that ugly feet twin of mine?!

& then we lost each other again, I’m on this train on my way home, it’s March 23rd, 2018, another Friday, 6.54 PM, I’m on an F train, super uncertain that I’ll ever get to see G again?!

As I’m typing away, he’s just a week away from packing up his life of last 6/7 years that’s spent in here and moving back home, near Fort Wayne, Indiana?!!!

True, he never was around, but in a way he was, in my soul, around me, beneath me, above me, all over me and in my thoughts and in my existence, people say true longing always comes back, I’d never know now of how much of that’ll ever be true but I’ll rather just have to see it through… ???!!!

Until the end of this universe?! Haha, joke?! That even a bad one, but you’ll laugh at it, only ya (paraphrased from “here,”<PAVEMENT>my only fav song from your indie man)

Caution & Trigger Warning:

I’ve exclusively used materials and pictures without permission, might get sued for violating privacy and also violation of someone’s copyright of 2017!