#technically i have guanfacine

[strawberryblondebutch]

you know one thing they don't tell you about being super into benzos as a teenager is that when you get panic attacks as an adult you just have to suffer through it cause you can't take emergency meds lmao

[butchboromir]

Guys did you know that going through adult life with unmedicated* adhd is bad and makes things really hard to manage? like i genuinely can barely manage keeping track of my schedule. it's bad

*technically i've been medicated for a few months (i'm on guanfacine and i tried wellbutrin and strattera for it but literally none of these have done anything. I have felt zero effects. functionally i am unmedicated)

[alsahm]

i want to make a post about this actually.

this post talks about weed, cops, panic, hospitals, and suicide.

i have diabetes, chronic pain, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. i take edibles sometimes to make life more tolerable. i tried a new one friday night bc the long weekend would give me time to recover if it was too strong. hurt my neck carrying something and felt searing, burning pain throughout my entire body, so i figured it was time for bed.

my heart rate was insane and i literally felt the world caving in on me. i thought my right side was becoming paralyzed. i thought i was dying. i recited the shahada. called my partner, who was two hours away, and he asked if i needed to call 911. i said yes. i called..

okay, i needed to go outside. should I take my bag? i can't find it. where is my cat? oh, i should close the door so she doesn't accidentally leave the house...

on the phone, my partner tells me to take square breaths. i go, "A-B-C-D — no, that's wrong, ا - ب - ت, no —"

i go outside. cops showed up first. i explain.

"yeah, you're high. you should just go inside and go to sleep. who are you talking to?"

i am high, so the world is sort of lagging around me, but i know that's not what this is. but now i'm embarrassed. why did i have to do this now, on a day when he is so tired? but he would never say that, i'm sick, why am i -

"i feel like i'm dying. i'm really scared. my partner - he's driving up from kansas city."

"okay, well the hospital can't do anything for you. you're just high and need to ride it out. have you ever taken delta 8 before?"

"i know - but - i'm so scared - " this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

"you're high. he has 10 seconds to decide whether you want to go to the hospital or not. the ambulance is on its way."

"what? do you need my consent or something?" this is. the worst thing. that has ever happened to me.

"they're not gonna do anything. do you want to go?"

"yes."

they shame me more. eventually i get on an ambulance and i'm crying. they're taking me to a hospital i haven't heard of before. out-of-network?

my vitals are fine except my heart rate is 140. and my BP is high. and i won't stop crying.

"how much did you take?"

"i don't know, half of one, this big. the packet is in my desk if you want to see."

they don't. seems like it's not even that much. at least the paramedics aren't laughing at me. we go to the hospital.

"have you taken marijuana before?"

"yes - this is different, i -"

"you're just gonna have to ride it out, okay?"

sluggishly, i think of the knife in my kitchen. i wonder, "did i try to kill myself?"

my glucose is high. 300 something. they say i should follow up with my primary care.

is this really happening? where is my partner? i am pinching myself and it hurts. i tell the doctors that everything, everything hurts and i'm so tired and so so scared. this is 10/10 pain. please, please help me. i'm so scared.

the hospital is one i've never been to, so they don't have any records on me. they get my name wrong. they don't ask for a personal contact. no one asks me what meds i'm taking. no PHQ9. if you're curious, 24. i'm tapering down venlafaxine. just stopped mirtazapine. just tapered off guanfacine. prazosin for screaming nightmares, oh, god, is this one? where is my partner? what is happening to me? did i try to kill myself?

i. was. having. a panic attack.

you can be high and have a panic attack. in fact it's common!

you can be trying a new drug regiment and have a panic attack. also well-documented!

your drugs can interact with each other.

you can just have a panic attack.

i was home alone and thought i was dying and called 911 like every search, paper, phone answering service, etc., told me to do.

the doctors said, "technically, this is an overdose. we are going to give you an IV to get your heart rate down, okay?"

okay. okay. is this really happening? when that door opens and my partner will finally be there, that is when i will know this is reality. that is when i will feel safe and everything will stop spinning.

my phone is ringing somewhere? don't know where it is though...

he's here.

oh, god, he is here, and i'm sobbing. and he is holding me, and i am so tired, no one is listening to me here, and no one even told him where i was so he went to a different ER first, and on his way here a cop pulled him over because he was speeding, and, oh my god, i was so, so scared, i love you, you were worried about me, you're not mad, i thought i tried to kill myself and i couldn't—

he is so mad at the cops, at the doctors. he loves me so much. i am safe i am safe i am safe.

finally, time to go home. doctor says again, your glucose is high, follow up with your primary care. here's where you can get one of those. and get that pain looked into.

they don't ask him my medical history either. he has access to an entire document i set up just in case of this situation.

okay, sure. of course that's not something i'm already doing or anything, right? i'm an amateur weed-haver.

After Visit Summary®.

reason for visit: anxiety.

diagnosis: cannabis overdose.

if you ever have thoughts of suicide, tell yourself not to do it. call 911 if it gets bad.

this hospital is out of network. will they cover this emergency visit i consented to? idk. will i lose my job because i was diagnosed with weed during a severe panic attack and pain flare-up? who knows.

do i have any trust in our emergency medical system as a chronically physically and mentally ill person? no.

[the-mechanica]

There's nothing like coming at a psych like "So, I think I have ADHD --And technically I was diagnosed with it back in college but I thought I was lying just to get the Adderall, and turns out I hate Adderall. .... Do you think I have ADHD?" (The answer was 'yes', and a Rx for Guanfacine, a non-stimulant blood pressure pill that works on ADHD)

[pots-n-pains]

I walked today! After the first 6ish minutes I took my pulse and it was about 102, then 2.5 minutes later it was 104, then 108 when I finally finished. It was nice and chilly out too, an excellent fall vibe 🍂

I will say that heart rate has never been my problem. Pre-guanfacine I did technically meet the 30bpm increase criteria, but even on my worst days, my pulse was only around 130.

My worst symptom is the adrenaline rushes; I assume I have hyperpots given the way my bp rises and I feel like death when the adrenaline hits, but the cardiologist I saw told me that part was just anxiety and I’d be fine if I lost weight. Did not go back to her.

Anyway, I’ve been taking R*talon for my adhd, and it definitely makes my brain feel so nice! The body, meh. I’m colder and my Raynaud’s is worse, but it’s also been shifting weather here. (Seriously, I think I saw some snowflakes hit my windshield while it rained yesterday!)

I think if I had more time before my upcoming trip, I’d ask about doubling the guanfacine to counteract the adrenaline effects of the adhd meds, but I guess that can wait until I get home. For now I just need decent sleep.

[sexiechuckiet]

So, I lost my ADHD meds about 4 days ago and now I’m going through withdrawal and I HATE IT. It gets refilled in about a day and I just want this nightmare to be over. At least I know my meds are working because I feel so fast and wrong all at the same time.

I take a non stimulant pill because I also have a ~*heart condition*~ so I take a pill for that because they didn’t want anything to mess me up. But bro it sucks. I hate everything right now. My fiancé mentioned he isn’t surprised my symptoms are so bad because it’s basically a low grade Amphetamine addiction. Guanfacine (what I take) is technically different, but basically right.