#tearinmyheartforjosh

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

Hey guys,

Sorry I’ve been dead. Life was a little rough for a while, but we made it through 💪🏻

Anyways, I’m gonna start taking requests again. So send em my way and let’s make some magic happen! (Does that sound weird?)

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

Can u write something where Josh gets hurt on tour and the reader is very concerned and flies in to support him and help him recover? I love your imagines, they are so well written and you seem very sweet and talented!!

(No YOU’RE SWEET AND TALENTED)

It was the sixth time that you’re phone had gone off in your pocket that made you finally excuse yourself from your meeting to see who was calling you so frantically. You’re slightly annoyed, until you see Tyler’s name and picture flash on your phone screen for the seventh time as you swipe to answer.

“Hey Ty, can I call you back in like an hour? I’m just in the middle of a meeting,” You ask. It wasn’t often that Tyler called you, but when he wanted to get ahold of someone he was persistent.

“It’s about Josh,” Tyler replies quickly, his tone tense and immediately you’ve forgotten about your meeting. “There was an accident during the show last night. He slipped and lost his footing when he was back flipping off the piano.” He explains.

“Is he alright?” Panic sets in as you think of your boyfriend in pain on the other side of the world, and nothing you can do about it.

“I’m calling from emergency right now. He has a couple hairline fractures in his ankle. He’ll probably need a cast,” Tyler says, and you can hear the disappointment in his voice. You know exactly why.

“What does it mean for the tour?”

Tyler lets out a deep sigh. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I know Josh has probably already asked that question. But the main thing is that he needs to heal and that might mean cancelling a few shows.”

You let out a sigh and lean against the wall of the empty hallway outside the conference room. “I’ll be on the next flight out,” You tell him.

“What? Y/N, are you sure? I know you’ve been busy with work, and he’ll be okay. He’ll understand if you can’t.” Tyler asks.

“He won’t be okay Tyler,” You tell him. “If you guys have to cancel shows he’s going to blame himself. And yeah he might understand, but I couldn’t live with myself if I wasn’t with my boyfriend when he needed me.” You explain. Your job was just a job, but Josh was your future.

“He’s lucky to have you,” Tyler chuckles. “Keep me updated.” You both say your goodbyes and you suck in a deep breath before heading back into the conference room and letting them know what was going on.

An hour later you’re in line buying a one way ticket to see Josh. You weren’t sure how long you’d be there, but you wouldn’t leave before Josh was better. You’re anxious to be with him, you could only imagine how he was feeling. Josh always put so much of himself into his work and music, and when things didn’t go according to plan he took it hard.

The plane couldn’t go fast enough and you anxiously bounced your leg the entire 10 hour flight, barely sleeping longer than forty - five minutes. Tyler greets you at the airport with a tight one armed hug before diving into the details of Josh’s injury.

“We had to cancel the next three shows for sure,” Tyler begins with the bad news as you both briskly walk through the airport. “He’s in a cast, doctor said it should only be a month, but there’s no guarantee.”

“How is he?” You ask, already knowing how he was doing.

Tyler grimaces. “Not good. He’s basically locked himself up in the tour bus, he won’t even let me in.”

“Does he know I’m coming?”

“Yeah, I told him after I got off the phone with you. He said not to come.”

You sigh, of course he would say that. Josh took everything so deeply, and now he was beating himself up over an accident. You knew you made the right choice, even if he thought otherwise. The drive back to the airport was quiet, both you and Tyler caught up in your thoughts about Josh. It wasn’t often that this would happen, maybe only once since you had started dating. He was going to try and push you out, but you were determined to show that you weren’t going anywhere.

The crew is all standing around the tour bus when you and Tyler pull up, solemn looks on their faces.

“What’s up, guys?” Tyler asks as you both exit the car. Seeing everyone standing outside the tour bus gave you anxiety.

“He locked himself inside,” Marks answers, eyes towards the ground. “He just like freaked out, and kicked everyone out of the bus and locked the door.”

You suck in a deep breath and push past the crowd of people and bang your fist against the bus door, so Josh would be able to hear it. “Josh?” You call. “It’s Y/N. Can you let me in?” Silence. “Babe? I miss you, can I please come inside?” You can hear movement from inside and then the click of the lock unlocking. You cast a quick glance back at Tyler, who has anxiety written all over his face, before you enter the bus, locking the door behind you.

Josh looks like hell. He’s sitting on the couch, cast on his left foot that he had elevated with some pillows. He won’t even look at you, but you can see the dark circles under his eyes.

“Babe,” You plead softly as you kneel beside the couch on the floor, trying to get him to look at you. But he doesn’t and it breaks your heart. “Josh,” You try again, moving your hand to cup his face towards you. “It’s not your fault.”

That seems to set him off, as his face turns to look at you so fast you think he might break his neck. “Not my fault?!” He snaps, and you flinch. You’re never used to Josh being angry or upset towards you and you don’t think you’ll ever be used to it. “If I hadn’t tried to be a show off, we wouldn’t have to cancel three shows!”

“Josh, you always do back flips,” you remind him as calmly as you can, trying not to get upset about his tone. “You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

Josh scoffs loudly at you, and you feel the tears stinging behind your eyes. You didn’t think he’d react this way, you thought he’d be happy to see you. “Whatever. It’s not like you’d understand anyways.”

“That’s it,” You snap, pushing yourself up from the ground. “I did not just spend ten hours on a plane to be your punching bag, Josh,” You tell him, voice wavering. You were notorious for crying when you’re angry and you hated it. “I gave up a huge project at work to be here, for you.”

“Well I didn’t ask you to be here!” He yells. “I told Tyler to tell you not to come!”

“Yeah, you’re right.” You agree, venom in your tone as you glare down your boyfriend. “You didn’t ask me. Tyler didn’t even ask me. I came because I love you, and I didn’t want you to go through this alone. Because the moment I heard that you were hurt, it wasn’t even a question. But I am not going to sit here and let you take your anger like I’m a personal punching bag, Josh.” You’re proud of yourself for keeping your composure but you know the minute you’re alone you’re going to break down. “And I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit here and let you treat me like one.”

Josh stares at you for a moment before furrowing his brow. “Then leave. I just said I didn’t ask you to come!” He shouts. And that was the blow that did you in. Your eyes start to water and spill down your face as you look at your boyfriend in shock. You didn’t even know what to say, so you just turn and burst out of the bus. Everyone turns to face you, and you only stand for a moment before heading towards the vehicle.

“What happened?” Tyler asks you frantically as you throw your bags into the back.

“I shouldn’t have come,” You sniffle. “Can someone please drive me back to the airport?” You call, turning back to the group of people standing around the bus.

“What do you mean you shouldn’t have come?” Tyler asks again, trying to search your face for an answer.

“I’m not a punching bag, Tyler,” You explain, eyes still watery as Josh’s words are still fresh in your mind. “I know he’s hurting but that doesn’t mean he can talk to me the way he was. If he’s going to be like that, then I’m going home.” You turn to let yourself in the car, waiting for someone to drive you back to the airport.

“Hold on a sec,” Tyler says as he shuts the door on you. “You flew ten hours to be here. You’re not leaving that easy.” He steps away for a second and returns with Jenna. “Keep her company, I’m going to talk to Josh.” And he’s gone before you can protest. Jenna offers you a understanding smile before suggesting you guys go find a place to eat.

It’s almost two hours before Tyler manages to find you and Jenna. You’re a lot more calm this time, having Jenna to take your mind off of things for a bit helped. Tyler slides into the booth beside his wife, placing an arms around her shoulders and kissing her on the cheek before turning to you. “He’s over there,” He says, nodding in the direction. You turn to see the yellow haired boy sitting by himself, staring into his steaming cup of coffee a couple booths away. You give Tyler a thankful glance before sliding out of the booth and heading over to Josh.

“Is this seat taken?” You jokingly ask with a soft smile. Josh looks up with sad eyes but manages to offer you a weak smile. You take that an invitation to sit, and patiently wait for him to start.

“I’m sorry,” He starts, eyes back down at his coffee. “I shouldn’t be taking out my frustration out on you. You flew ten hours to see me in the drop of a dime, and I should be more appreciative of that because you didn’t have too.” He looks up at you now and you can see the tears forming in his eyes and it breaks your heart. You reach across to place a hand on that back of his, but he takes it in his own quickly, squeezing it tightly. “I’m scared, Y/N,” He whispers. “I know I don’t have control over what happened, but everyone is going to be so disappointed and I don’t want to be the reason.”

“No one is disappointed, Josh.” You remind him. “Accidents happen, and we move past them. And you don’t have to do this alone. I’m here. I’ll be here until you don’t need me anymore.”

Josh looks up at you with a soft smirk, eyes less watery. “I’m always going to need you.”

You move your hands so your fingers can lace through his. “Then I’ll always be here.”

True to your word, you stay. You stay for every doctors appointment he has, every bad day and every good day. You’re there when the cast comes off and you’re there for his first show back. The smile on his face while he plays is all you need to make the rocky start worth it. And you can’t wait to see that smile for the rest of your life.

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

Do u think Josh Dun would think I'm cute? 👽

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

Whoops dyed my hair pink.

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

We’re dropping a new mixtape.

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

Hello! Can you do one where the reader is a newer singer who is headlining for some other artist/band so she doesn't get to see her boyfriend, Josh a lot because twenty one pilots is also on tour. But since she is on break for a few weeks, Tyler and her make arrangements for her to surprise Josh. Thanks :)

“He’s moping again,” Tyler tells you, as he continues to eat whatever it was crunching loudly in your ear. “He won’t say it, but I can tell.”

You let out a sigh, and turn onto your stomach, staring at your best friends name scrolling on your phone. “Yeah, I can tell too.”

“Where are you guys right now?” Tyler asks.

You look up and out the windows of the moving tour bus your tiny band had managed to get. You couldn’t really see anything, partly because it was night time and partly because the windows were so tinted. “I think we’re somewhere around Washington. But I can’t be sure. It’s all melting together.”

Seven years ago, you met Tyler through a mutual friend of Jenna’s, and all three of you had become best friends instantly. Five years ago Tyler had introduced you to Josh, and you were pretty sure it was love at first sight and it was only a matter of weeks before you and the drummer began dating. Six months ago your small town band landed the break through you had been waiting for; touring as one of the opening acts for Paramore. And it worked out that both Tyler and Josh were going on tour during the same time, so you figured that you’d both be busy enough that it wouldn’t be a huge deal that you couldn’t see each other for close to a year. And of course you had FaceTimed and talked on the phone as much as you both could. But what you didn’t plan on was realizing how much you missed his presence. How he made you feel like the only person in a room just by smiling at you. How he would kiss you on the cheek any time he had to walk away from you. It was the little things that you didn’t really think of that you missed the most.

“He still doesn’t know, does he?” You ask. About a week ago you had found out that you would be getting a couple weeks off after the show tonight, so you immediately called Tyler and set up a surprise visit.

“Nope,” Tyler replies, mouth full of food. “Everything is set up. Jenna and Mark are going to meet you at the airport and take you to the hotel.”

“Perfect,” you sigh, rolling onto your back, staring up at the roof of the bus. “Do you think he’ll be surprised?”

“Are you kidding?” Tyler almost shouts, as if the answer is obvious. “He’s going to crap his pants, Y/N. Literally.”

“Could have gone my entire life without that visual, Ty,” You stifle a laugh. You talk with Tyler for a few more minutes before saying goodbye so you can get ready for your show. Butterflies swarmed your stomach when you thought about how soon you’d be able to see Josh. You were horrible at keeping surprises in, but you knew his reaction would be worth it.

You were on your plane before Paramore would even be playing. You didn’t even change after the show, just grabbed you bags, called an uber and started your long journey to the other side of the world. You honestly hated flying more than anything, but the need to see Josh was greater. You just popped a couple of sleeping pills and slept through the whole thing.

Jenna’s scream made you partially deaf when she saw you, running up and throwing her arms around you. You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen the girl show any emotion but excitement but it’s the exact reason you love her.

“Tyler wishes he could be here,” She tells you after Mark gives you a hug. “But he’s keeping Josh distracted. He’s noticed that you guys haven’t texted.”

“Yeah I tried to come up with a good excuse,” You reply, throwing your carrion over your shoulder before Mark offers to take it from you. “I said that we were driving through an area that has really bad service and then I just texted him saying I just woke up from a nap,” You laugh nervously.

“Are you excited for tonight?” She asks.

“Yeah, more anxious than anything,” You admit. “I just really want to see Josh.” It had been too long since you last felt your boyfriends arms around you, and you were homesick.

“This is going to be awesome!” Jenna squeals in excitement, and you can only smile, wishing time would speed up.

Jenna spends most of the afternoon with you at the hotel, which was spent mostly at the swimming pool, before she heads back to find Tyler. You still hadn’t seen him yet and your anxiety was rising by the hour. The plan was you’d join Tyler on stage for Tear In My Heart and that would be the big reveal. You had packed more than you probably needed to, but you knew you’d be indecisive about your outfit for tonight. It needed to be perfect.

You settled on your favourite black ripped jeans and a tank you bought from hot topic that says “I prefer the drummer” after you and Josh had been dating for a couple months. It was nothing glamorous, but you knew Josh would love it.

After what felt like hours, someone finally came to pick you up. The concert had just started, Heavydirtysoul just ending as you arrive at the venue. You put your stuff in Josh’s dressing room, smelling all of his clothes before you leave to find Jenna. It helps.

Jenna is in her usual spot, beside the stage closest to Tyler. You’re fitted with an in ear so you can hear yourself on the stage, and then it’s just the waiting game. But you didn’t mind this time. You get to watch Josh do his favourite thing in the world. And your heart finally feels full, after the months of not being able to see him in person, you were going to be able to hold him and kiss him in a matter of moments.

“Alright guys,” Tyler soothes the crowd after the last song finishes. “This next song I usually dedicate to my smokin’ hot wife. Can everyone please put your hands together for my beautiful wife, Jenna?” He gestures to her from the stage and everyone goes crazy, causing Jenna to turn light pink. “But,” Tyler continues when the crowd quiets. “As we all know, Josh has been feeling a little lonely this tour. His lady has been touring with Paramore, and hasn’t been able to visit. So I’m going to dedicate this next song to him.” Tyler casts a look over at the drummer, who gives him a sweet smile and you’re practically bursting. You want to run out and kiss his smiley cheeks, but you know it’ll be better to wait. “Jishwa, this is for you my fren.” And Tear In My Heart begins, and that was your cue to get ready.

It doesn’t take long for them to finish the first chorus before Tyler cuts the music. “Hold on a second,” He says into the mic, giving Josh a look. “Just a second.” He casts a quick look over to you and you give him a thumbs up, preparing yourself. “Ladies and gentlemen, I think we need some help. Would you please welcome my good friend, Y/N!!!!”

The screams sound distant in your in ears as you walk on stage, but you have blinders on to Josh who is sitting, eyes wide with shock. You can’t contain your grin, and you give him a quick excited wave before he leaps off his stool and closes the distance between you. You’re trying to hug him as tightly as you can, not caring that he was all sweaty from playing.

“What are you doing here?!” He asks you over the screams, eyes taking in your presence.

“I got some time off, and I wanted to surprise you,” You giggle, happy that everything worked out the way it was supposed to. He doesn’t say anything and just lifts you, spinning around in a circle, the crowd going crazy.

“Isn’t that adorable?” Tyler asks the crowd as Josh smothers your face with kisses, refusing to let you go. He’s so smiley and you can’t help but let a few tears fall. Your heart was so full.

“Hey Josh,” Tyler calls after a few moments. “What do you say to finishing the song?”

Josh picks you up from behind and carries you over to his drum set, sitting you in his lap and giving Tyler a thumbs up before pretending to drum while you’re on his lap. The crowd is going crazy and you yourself can’t help but laugh. You know that you can’t stay on stage for much longer so you turn to kiss Josh, earning whistles from the entire arena before getting up to leave.

“Alright guys, give a big round of applause for Y/N,” Tyler says as you stop to give him a quick hug before heading back to Jenna. “Now that Josh is feeling better, lets get this show going!” And just like you hadn’t interrupted, the show kept going. You can’t help but notice how much more enthusiastic Josh plays and how he keeps stealing glances in your direction.

He doesn’t waste time on stage once they’re done the show, practically running off and into your open arms. “I can’t believe you’re actually here!” He tells you between kisses. “How long are you here for?”

“I’m all yours for two weeks baby,” You grin, wrapping your arms around his waste under his arms and smiling up at your cheeky boy.

“Get a room!” Tyler shouts sarcastically as he drapes an arm over Jenna’s shoulder, lacing his fingers into her.

“I actually already have one,” You counter with a cheeky smile.

“So we’re gonna go there now,” Josh adds without even missing a beat as he starts pulling you towards the exit. “Good show Tyler, talk later!” He shouts, not even looking back as he keeps a tight grip on your hand. You can’t help but laugh at his eagerness, but you’re not going to complain. You had been waiting six months for this moment with Josh, and you’d gladly do it again if it meant you got a life time with him.

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

Ninety three w Joshua

93. “It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

The bar was busier than it normally was, but you had a good enough buzz going on that it wasn’t bothering you anymore. Besides, you were here with your boyfriend and amazing friends to celebrate Mark’s birthday. It rarely happened that everyone was able to make it, so if it meant you had to endure the loud music and sweaty bodies, you’d gladly do it.

You were squished up as close to Josh as you could be, head resting on his shoulder while one of his hands was placed on your thigh. You had to admit, you were a bit too drunk for how early it was, but the night was far from over, with Tyler and Zack returning with more pitchers of beer.

“How you doing, baby?” Josh asks quietly as he turns his head to softly kiss you on the head.

“’M drunk,” you slur sightly, giggling at how ridiculous you sounded. But it only makes Josh smile your favourite smile and kiss you on the head again.

“You’re not tapping out now, are you Y/N?” Zack asks you from across the table, mischievous grin forming on his face. He was an instigator, always pushing buttons to get reactions out of everyone.

“Just taking a little break!” You reply, giving him a thumbs up.

“No hazing my girlfriend!” Josh yells jokingly.

“Fine, but she has to get the next round,” Zack replies, shooting a wink in your direction. You stick your hand up, giving him a thumbs up once again, earning a laugh from the table.

The night gets later, the glasses are getting emptier and the music seems to be louder. You had stolen Josh’s glass of water, trying to sober up enough so that you could walk to the bar.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen, I shall go get the next round,” You announce, hopping out of the booth only to stumble slightly, catching yourself on Jenna’s out stretched arm.

“Thanks,” You flash her a smile before turning to your smiley boyfriend. “Babe, I think you need to chaperone.”

“Yeah I think so too,” He laughs, sliding out after you. You turn, flicking your hair in the process, and holding your hand out for Josh to take. Maybe you weren’t as sober as you wanted to be, but you knew Josh would take care of you.

“I’m just going to run to the bathroom,” Josh tells you over the loud music, pressing his lips to your head. “Wait for me at the bar?” You nod, stretching up on your toes to give him a quick kiss before heading to the bar to place your order. You squeeze yourself into an open spot and patiently wait for the bar tender to make her way over to you. You feel a hand rest on the small of your back, and you turn with a smile thinking Joshua was back from the bathroom already.

You’re extremely disappointed, and slightly creeped out, to find it wasn’t Josh, and just some random dude who looked way to drunk. “Excuse me,” You say, taking a step back from his touch.

“No need to worry, love. I was just admiring you.” You can smell the alcohol on his breath. “You’re a pretty little thing, aren’t you?”

“I’m just trying to get a drink,” You tell him sternly, but he doesn’t take the hint, turning all the way around so he back was against the bar.

“What’s stopping you?” He has a deadly smirk on his face, and you’re suddenly a lot sober than you were fifteen seconds ago. When you don’t answer, he reaches forward to try and hook a finger in your belt loop. But you take a step back, bumping into someone else. You turn to apologize quickly and are instantly relieved to see Josh.

“What’s going on?” He asks, brow furrowed as his eyes dart between your tense expression and the man blocking you from the bar.

“You’re her boyfriend?” The man asks, sizing Josh up.

“Yeah, I am.” Josh is going into defence mode, and you decide right then you don’t want to stick around to see what happens.

“Josh, let’s just go to a different part of the bar,” It comes out more anxious then you wanted it too, but you’re hoping Josh will see how uncomfortable you are.

“She thinks I’m being pervy,” the man snorts, rolling his blood shot eyes, as he adjusts himself against the bar.

“Touching a stranger intimately is being a perv,” You snap, glaring down the man.

“What?” Josh’s eyes move from you to the man, and you can see the anger on his face. “You touched her?”

“Josh, can we please go?” You practically beg, pulling on your boyfriends arm. But he stood firm.

“I think that being physical with a woman is the best way to show them you think they’re attractive,” The man explains, he doesn’t even bother to hide the way he’s staring at you, and it makes your skin crawl.

“Yeah, well it’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion,” Josh snaps, wrapping an arm around you protectively. You have never heard Josh talk like that before, but you weren’t going to complain.

You both turn to walk away, when the man decides to get his last two cents in. “When you’re tired of being with your stick in the mud boyfriend, you come find me honey,” And you feel a sharp slap against your bottom. The sound rings out in your eyes as shock radiates through your entire body.

What happens next is almost a blur; Josh’s arm is no longer around your waist, and you turn just in time to see his fist connect with the mans face. You feel like the entire bar goes silent before the man realizes what happened. He then swings his arm out, hitting Josh in the left eye. But that only seems to fuel Josh’s anger, because he lunges for the man, and an all out brawl has started. You stand in shock, unsure of what to do or how to stop the situation.

But it seems like the security guards have seen this before, and they know exactly what to do. And without hesitation they grab both guys by the collar and drag them outside. You hurry back to the booth to collect your things. By now, everyone had seen what transpired, so you only needed to give Tyler a look for him to be following behind you to Josh.

“Josh!” You call, pushing through the crowd of smokers and people who needed a break from the sweaty bar air. You can see his yellow hair through the bodies, and you don’t stop weaving your way through until you reach him. He looks just as bad as you thought he would, his left eye swollen and purple, and there’s blood dripping from his split lip on this shirt.

He looks relieved to see you. “Are you okay?” He places his hands on the sides of your arms, while his eyes run over your body, making sure you hadn’t gotten hurt in the fight.

“I should be asking you that. Baby, your eye…” You reach up and lightly touch the discoloured skin, earning a wince from Josh as he instinctively moves your hand away with his, taking it softly into his hands and kissing it.

“It’s nothing,” He shrugs, and as far as you can tell, he doesn’t look too upset from the ordeal.

“Dude, what the hell happened?” Tyler asks, shock and confusion clear on his face. “You guys went to get drinks and then you punched someone?”

“Some guy decided it would be cool to touch Y/N inappropriately,” Josh explains, moving to drape one arm around your shoulders. “So I punched him.” He made it sound like it was everyday life, punching random strangers. But you couldn’t help but feel satisfaction, that Josh would willingly and readily defend you.

“Well, try to avoid getting punched in the face next time,” Tyler jokes. “You’re the one with the looks Josh. If you lose that, then what becomes of us?”

“I think it makes him look dangerous and sexy,” You add, looking up at your boyfriend adoringly.

“I think I can live with that,” He grins, leaning down to press his lips to yours. “What do you say, babe. Wanna head back in? Or call it a night?”

“How are you feeling?” You didn’t care what you guys did. As long as you could be with Josh. His takes a second to think, eyes moving from you and Tyler before he replies. “I think I could use a drink,” He laughs, and you all head back into the bar, ready to continue the night.

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

15 or 9 with josh please

9. “Don’t ask me that.”

It has been a full three weeks since Josh had gotten back from tour, and in that three weeks, you had seen him probably a total of five times. This wouldn’t be an issue, if you guys didn’t live together. At first you were trying to be understanding. He was working on a new album, and had a lot of stuff he needed to get done, and was honouring a lot of commitments he had made. But when he started ignoring your text messages and sending your calls to voicemail, you began to feel like something was up.

It’s Friday night, around 9pm when he comes through the front door of the apartment. You’re sitting on the couch, tv playing in the background as you look through a Chinese takeout menu.

“Hey,” He calls flatly, walking past you and into your bedroom.

“Hey!” You reply, jumping off the couch and following him. “I was thinking we could order take out tonight?” You ask, waving the menu in front of you, eyes hopeful that maybe you guys could finally spend some time together.

But Josh isn’t even looking at you, he’s too busy rummaging through the drawers of your shared dresser, picking certain items up and throwing them into a duffle bag on the bed. “Oh, I’m actually flying to Ohio tonight. Gonna spend some time with my parents.” He doesn’t even look at you, and you feel your heart shatter in your chest.

“Oh.” You’re hoping he can hear the disappointment in your voice, and maybe he’ll say something. But he doesn’t. And you just stand in the doorway.

You’re not sure how much time has past, but you can’t stand the silence anymore. “What’s going on, Josh?” You ask and he freezes, eyes down. “You won’t talk to me, you ignore my calls, my texts. I’ve seen you maybe five times since you’ve been home. And we live together.”

“I just need some space.” His voice is hard, and you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut.

“I don’t know what the means,” You reply, as calmly as you can. “Where did this come from? Was it something I did?” You’re asking a million questions, anxiety over riding your brain.

Josh closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “I don’t know, okay!” He snaps. “I just need space!”

“Well does that mean you’re breaking up with me?!” Your voice is shaking and your can’t really see anything from the tears watering in your eyes.

“I don’t know! Don’t ask me that!” Josh yells, and that shuts you up. Josh has never yelled at you, and it takes you by surprise so much that you can help but start crying. You hug yourself, looking down as tears drip from your face onto the carpet below. Josh was the love of your life, you hadn’t even considered the fact that you might not be his, and you really didn’t know what you’d do if you weren’t.

Josh sighs and you can hear him zip the duffle bag close. “Y/N…” he says your name softly now, but you refuse to look up at him. You can hear him walking closer to you, and his hands cup your face, bringing it up so he can look at you. His eyes are sad, but you’re not sure why. “I’m sorry,” He tells you. “I know I’ve been distant, and I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to sort through everything in my head, and I just need some time away, some space.” He explains.

“Josh,” You whimper, looking up at the beautiful boy. “I’m scared. I don’t understand where this is coming from. I - I just, I can’t-” Your brain is searching for the right words, but you keep coming up short every time. And then Josh does something he hasn’t done in a long time; he kisses you. And you feel like the small cracks that were forming in you, were gone.

“We’ll get through this,” He tells you once he pulls away, pulling you into his chest and resting his head on top of yours. You squeeze him tightly, afraid that he won’t come back if you let go. “Whatever this is, we’ll get through this. I promise.”

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

I love Josh Dun more than I love myself, probably

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

70 with josh 💕 thx

(Sry this is bad lol) 70. “What are you afraid of?”

You nervously run your hands over your dress for the millionth time, as you look at yourself in the full length mirror in Jenna’s and Tyler’s hotel room. You hardly recognized yourself. The floor length gown accented curves you didn’t even know you had, and the makeup made your eyes pop. You felt beautiful, but that doesn’t stop the anxiety that was building up in your stomach and escaping from your shaking hands.

“Can I see now?” Jenna calls from the bathroom. You had sent her in there while you put on your dress. You needed to be the first one to see yourself.

“Uh, sure!” You reply, and she opens the door, revealing her dress. It was bright yellow, like the colour of Josh’s hair, and you instantly felt self conscious. She was gorgeous.

“Y/N!” She gasps, cover her mouth in awe. You stay still as she walks around you, taking in the entirety of the dress. You had to admit, it was a beautiful dress. A deep navy colour, with thick shoulder straps, and completely backless. But it was something that you would never be caught dead in on any other occasion.

“Josh isn’t going to know what hit him,” She tells you once she’s done her inspection. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thanks Jenna, but have you seen yourself? I don’t even compete. Your dress is…” You couldn’t even find the words. She was going to outshine everyone.

“Oh hush,” She links her arm in yours, and you both take one last look at yourselves in the mirror. “We both look amazing. And both our boys are going to be in shock,” She states. “Now, speaking of them. I have a feeling they’ll be here any minute.”

You’re heart is racing, and your nerves are getting the best of you. It was the Grammys. Josh had asked you to be his date months ago, and of course you said yes. But you had never gone to an event like this before, and you were terrified. You were a jeans and t-shirt type of girl, and it wasn’t like you had never worn a dress before or gotten dressed up, but it was more the magnitude of the event that was causing your anxiety. Josh was used to the attention that followed him around, but you were still getting used to it.

There’s a knock on the door followed by Tyler’s voice. Jenna gives you an excited smile and turns to open the door. You’re frozen in spot as Tyler showers Jenna with compliments and kisses. Then Josh enters, and for some reason you’re worried he won’t like your dress or your hair, and you start tearing yourself apart in your head. He gives Jenna a smile and a few compliments before looking to you.

You immediately think something is wrong, because he’s not smiling anymore and he’s frozen in place. Your anxiety shoots from your stomach into your chest and you’re ready to cry. “You don’t like it.” You’re not asking.

“Are you kidding?” He half laughs, bringing a hand up to his mouth. “Y/N…” he takes slow steps towards you, his eyes trailing up and down your body. “Baby, you are breath taking,” He almost whispers. He closes the distance between you both, pulling you tight to his arms and showering your face with kisses. “I have the most beautiful date,” He tells you in a low voice. And now you want to cry because Josh was the most amazing human and always knew how to make you feel better.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road!” Tyler says, rubbing his hands together before reaching for Jenna’s. Josh gives you one more kiss, then leads you out to the elevator.

Panic sets in once the elevator is moving. Josh had helped you forget your fear but now it was back. And when the elevator door opens and you can already see the cameras flashing, you’re frozen in fear. Everyone is looking at you, confused expressions on their face, but you can’t even tell them why. After a few seconds, Josh signals them to go ahead and when the elevator doors close he presses the emergency stop button.

“What’s going on?” He’s searching your face, trying to find the source of your anxiety.

You’re trying so hard not to cry, only because your makeup was done so beautifully. You can’t help but let a few tears fall as your boyfriend soothes you. “I’m scared,” You whisper, looking up to meet his warm brown eyes.

“What are you afraid of?” It’s a genuine questions. He’s running his hands up and down your arms lightly, leaving goosebumps wherever he touches.

You shrug. “Messing up,” You answer. “This is so overwhelming, and I just feel like- like I’m not prepared. That people are going to question why you brought me.”

“Let them question, who care what they think? I brought you because you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, and I wanted to share this moment with you.” He cups your face in his hands. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything, my love. I won’t leave your side.” He softly places a kiss on your lips, being mindful of your lipstick and makeup.

“Josh,” you almost sob as a few more tears escape your eyes. He only smiles and wipes them away with his thumbs before taking your hand in his and disabling the emergency stop.

Josh doesn’t let you go the entire night, whether it was holding your hand or having an arm wrapped around your waist. And you decided - as they walked on stage in their underwear to accept their first grammy - that you would endure this over and over if it meant you got to watch Josh’s dreams come true, for the rest of your life.

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

if you're still taking prompts please do #23?

23. “Just pretend to be my date.”

You’re sitting in your usual spot, right next to the window so you can feel the sun as you sip your ice coffee and read your favourite book. You did this everyday after you were finished school so much that the workers at the café usually had your drink ready by the time you got there.

“J.R.R Tolkien, nice.” It’s a mans voice that’s interrupting your reading. You instinctively glance at the cover.

“Yeah, Two Towers is my favourite, but I just started re-reading the series again.” You smile sheepishly, looking up at the stranger for the first time. You’re not sure what you’re expecting, but a cute bright yellow haired boy, with mocha eyes is not one of them. You offer him a shy smile, taken aback by his adorable smile.

“To be honest, I’ve never actually read the books. And I think I’ve only see one of the movies.” You’re amazed as he smiles wider, making his eyes go squinty, and you just can’t seem to look away. “I’m Josh, by the way.” He holds out his hand.

“Y/N,” You’re grinning, and you’re cheeks are hurting but you really can’t stop.

Josh pushes both of his hands deep into his pockets, glancing quickly over at the menu. “So, do you come here often? Have a favourite drink that you recommend?”

“Yeah, I practically live here,” You admit, placing your bookmark inside the book and setting it to the side, giving Josh your full attention. “I usually get the iced coffee, but their lattes are also amazing.”

“Cool, I’ll get one of those. Thanks!” He nods awkwardly before turning and heading towards the register. You take a minute, realizing what just happened and try your hardest to wait to freak out, casually waving back at him when he leaves. You find it really hard to concentrate on your book for the rest of the day.

You don’t see Josh for almost a week after, secretly disappointed each time he doesn’t show. But you’re taken by surprise, when he sits down across from you one Wednesday afternoon.

“Hey, how’s it -”

“I need you to do something,” He cuts you off, voice low and urgent. You only nod, waiting to hear what he needed. “I told my band mate that I had a date tonight to get out of band practice, and he just saw me walking down the street. So, just pretend to be my date, okay?”

“What?” You’re confused, but before he can answer the door to the café chimes open, and your hand is suddenly intertwined with Josh’s.

“Bro, didn’t you hear me call you?” A lanky boy, who you can only assume is his band mate asks, coming up to your table. His expression goes from annoyed to surprised when he sees you. “Oh, you actually do have a date!” He laughs, obviously embarrassed that he interrupted. “Hi, I’m Tyler.”

“Y/N,” You give him a sweet smile, trying to keep your face from turning red. You were very aware of how Josh’s thumb was rubbing circles on the back of your hand.

“Sorry, I don’t normally barge in on his dates,” Tyler explains. “I’ll leave you guys be now. Josh-” Tyler snaps his finger and points at his friend. “Band practice tomorrow, alright?”

“Sounds good, man,” Josh gives him a thumbs up before the other boy disappears out the door. You’re expecting Josh to let go of your hand, but surprisingly he doesn’t.

“So,” He’s looking down, and you can see his cheeks turning pink. “Now that you’ve pretended to be my date, do you actually want to go on one?”

You feel yourself start to smile like an idiot, so you bite your lip trying to hold it back, nodding quickly. And you swear Josh’s smile could have lit up the entire town.

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

My shirt says “I prefer the drummer,” so Josh Dun wyd 👀

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

Me wishing @taysfics lived closer :/

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

64, 62, 71 with josh??

64. “talk to me ”62. “it’s okay to cry”71. “you are the single best thing that has ever happened to me”

You place the pregnancy test on the counter and pace your bathroom, waiting for the results. You feel confident this time, you had been following all the tips all the fertility books had suggested, you weren’t drinking, you were eating healthy. There wasn’t really any reason that too shouldn’t be pregnant, but yet you’re anxious for the results.

You and Josh had been trying to get pregnant for just over a year now, each time coming up negative. It was starting to take a toll on you emotionally, and you were starting to feel like there was something wrong with you. Each time Josh would tell you that he’s in no rush, and he’s happy taking time. But you were ready, and you wanted this with Josh.

When you feel like the proper amount of time has past, you pick up the test, keeping your eyes on anything put the results until it’s right in front of you. The blue negative sign is as clear as it can possibly be, and you snap. You throw the test across the bathroom, hearing it hit the wall with a sharp slap before turning and punching the wall closest to you. Your fist connects with the drywall as it crumples around your hand. You can feel the damage it’s doing, but you can’t stop, punching the same place over and over until you can’t feel your hand. That’s when the tears come, overwhelming you into a puddle of grief as you cry loudly in your bathroom. Thankfully Josh was out with Tyler, you hated when he saw you like this. You’d rather deal with this kind of heart break on your own.

As soon as you calm down, you can feel the pain in your hand. It’s more than just the stinging, and the entire thing is purple. You sigh; leave it to you to break your hand while punching a wall. You calmly get up, and clean up the mess you made before changing, grabbing your purse and heading to emergency.

It doesn’t take you long to get checked in and looked at, and while the nurses and doctors prep your arm to put a cast on, you finally decide to call Joshua.

“Hey baby,” he answers on the second ring. “Tyler and I are almost finished up,” he continues. “Then I’ll head home. Need me to grab anything?” Sometimes it really shocked you, how thoughtful Josh was as a person, and it always reminded how lucky you were to have found him.

“No, erm, I’m actually at the hospital right now,” You’re trying to keep your tone light, hoping he doesn’t freak out.

“Is everything alright?” He asks, concern washing over him.

“Yes, I just - uh - I just broke my hand. So I’m just here getting it checked out,” You squeeze your eyes shut, to prepare yourself for his response.

“What?! Y/N, what happened?!” You can hear Tyler asking him what was going on, and Josh relaying everything you just told him. “We’re coming to you,” He then says. “What did you do?”

“Can I tell you when you get here?” You ask, voice thick from the tears you were trying to hold back.

“Of course, I’ll be there soon. I love you.”

“I love you too.” The call ends, and you hang you head in defeat. Not only were you not pregnant, you now get to sport a very gaudy looking cast and had to explain to everyone what happened.

“Mrs. Dun?” A nurse calls your attention. “We’re ready to fit you for the cast.” You nod, following her into the casting room. The doctor is talking to you, but you’re barely listening. Lost in your own thoughts, and only coming back to reality when Josh enters the room.

“Sir -” The doctor begins to protest but you quickly cut him off.

“He’s my husband,” You tell him, and the doctor nods before going back to work on your hand.

“Hey baby,” Josh greets you, walking over and giving you a quick kiss. You can tell he’s stressed and you feel guilty. “What happened?”

You glance quickly at the doctor, who’s full attention is on your hand, then back at your husband who is patiently waiting for your reply.

“Um,” You’re trying to figure out where to start, if you should leave out the negative pregnancy test or not.

“Baby, talk to me, please?” Josh kneels beside you so you’re eye level now. His eyes are pleading, wanting to know what hurt you so badly.

“Josh…” You almost sob, and the tears start filling in your eyes, spilling over. You’re heart broken, and you don’t want to tell him that you’re not pregnant. But he’s your husband, and you know it’s going to come out sooner or later.

“I’m all done here,” The doctor announces. “I’ll give you guys some privacy.” And as soon as the door closes, you begin really crying.

“Y/N, honey,” Josh pulls you to his chest. “Please, what’s going on. I’m so worried.”

“I just, I don’t want to cry,” You reply with a shaky voice, pressing your face deeper into Josh’s chest.

“It’s okay to cry,” Josh tells you, pulling away so he can see your face. He cups it in his hands, and wipes away a few tears. “I’m here for you, just tell me.”

“I took a pregnancy test today,” You begin, avoiding his eyes. “I had some symptoms and I thought maybe this time, maybe I could give you some good news. But it came up negative,” Your bottom lip is shaking. “It came up negative again and I’m just so sad.” Your voice breaks on the last word.

You can see the tears glistening in Josh’s eyes, and it only makes you cry harder as he pulls you to him again. And this time he just lets you cry, placing kisses on your head to let you know that he’s there for you.

“Let’s go home, love,” He says after a few minutes of crying. And you nod in agreement. He leads you outside where Tyler is waiting to give you a supportive hug. Josh says goodbye, with the promise to call him later, before guiding you to the car and helping you in. His hand is firmly wrapped around yours the whole way home. Once inside, you curl yourself in bed next to your husband, and watch Netflix.

“Hey,” Josh turns to you. “I just want you to know I’m not upset.” You look at him, confused expression as you wait for him to continue. “I’m not upset that you’re not pregnant. I love you so much, Y/N. You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me, and that will never change. Baby or not. I just want you to be okay.” His eyes glance down to your hand.

“I love you too, baby.” You lean forward and press your lips to his. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world, to have a man who loves me so.” And, even though you were disappointed, you knew that when you and Josh finally have a child, it was going to have the most loving father in the world.

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

could you do number 25 from the writing prompt with josh, please?

25. “When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”

It had been three months and seventeen days. Three months and seventeen days since Josh left for tour. And three months and seventeen days since you both decided to break up. It was the hardest decision of your life, one that you didn’t even want to make. But the distance was too much, it was driving you both crazy. The moment he was gone it was always constant fighting and arguing, and for the sake of your sanity, you had to call it quits. You loved that boy more than you could show, and leaving him at the airport nearly killed you. But with Jenna’s promise of making sure he was okay, you said goodbye.

The days had been blurring together. You got up, you went to work for 8 hours, you went home. You shut yourself off from your family, only really speaking with Jenna. She didn’t talk about Josh, and you were extremely grateful. She didn’t pretend that he wasn’t there and that she saw him everyday, she just never talked about him for longer than a minute. And you loved her to pieces for that.

“I’m thinking of ordering pizza,” you tell her one night over FaceTime, which you usually did every night. She kept you sane.

“When’s the last time you cooked anything,” she asks, giving you a look. Jenna was famous for giving looks.

You pretend like you’re not actually thinking about it, but it had been a while. You hadn’t even gotten groceries in the past two months. You only left your house for work. “I don’t know, a while.”

“Well, I know how long it’s been. Too long, and you really should stop ordering in so much. I bet making dinner would make you feel better,” she says the last part in a sing-song voice, like she was trying to convince you to get off your ass.

“Josh did most of the cooking…” you mumble.

“Babe,” Jenna sighs, in her maternal voice. “You’re not doing too well are you?”

“What gave it away?” You laugh nervously. You’re actually surprised that it took Jenna this long to say something. You had honestly been a complete mess since day one.

“Do you really think breaking up was such a good idea?” she asks. “You haven’t been yourself since it happened, you’re not eating properly. I promised Tyler I wouldn’t say anything, but Y/N, you’ve lost so much weight, and I know you think that you’re trying to hide it but you’re not doing a very good job. Maybe you should try talking to Josh, see if you can work something out.”

“I can’t,” You defend. “The distance made us crazy, Jenna. We were fighting all the time and neither of us want that.”

“Yeah because the distance isn’t making you more crazy,” She jabs. And you know she’s right, but you’re stubborn.

“Well, Josh doesn’t look like he’s so torn up about it,” you grumble.

“And you know that how?” Jenna raises an eyebrow at you. “It’s not like you’re here everyday, seeing how this is affecting the both you.” You can hear the frustration in her voice and it only put you on the defence.

“Whatever. If he wanted to work things out, he would have made an effort to get in touch with me already,” You snap.

Jenna rolls her eyes. “You’re both like children, honestly. Go make dinner, Y/N. I’ll talk to you later.” She ends the call before you can even say goodbye. You’re fuming. You didn’t care that she made a good point, Josh clearly didn’t want to work things out. If he did, he would have messaged you or called you or something. At least, you thought he would.

Another two weeks pass and you’re slowly getting into the groove of being on your own. Jenna was right, a home cooked meal was way better than take out every night. So your fridge was finally full again, and you decided maybe you should join a gym, channel all the extra emotions you had into building a healthier and stronger body. You were starting to feel alright again.

It’s late Friday night when your front door shakes from the loudest knock you’ve ever heard. It actually makes you physically jump from your spot on the couch. You glance up at the clock hanging on your wall; 11:49pm. Who the hell was banging on your door at nearly midnight. Another knock comes again as you stand to answer the door, only it was quieter this time. You adjust your pj shorts and tank top, making sure you look presentable for whoever your unknown guest was.

You open the door and freeze in place. A very tired, and dropping wet Josh Dun was standing on the other side. You blink a couple of times, making sure that you’re not actually dreaming. But no, he was actually standing in front of you, looking like he just had his heart ripped out of his chest.

“Josh, what are you doing here?” Not that you didn’t want to see him, you were just confused as to why he was showing up at your house at midnight. Your heart drops. “Did something happen with your family?”

“No,” he replies quickly. He’s anxious, you can hear it in his voice. And how you longed to pull him into your arms and remind him that he’s okay. But they stay tight at your sides. “Can I come in?”

You hesitate for a moment, then step to the side allowing him to brush past you into your apartment. He doesn’t sit, and you just stand with your arms crossed, watching him pace. “You realize it’s like midnight.”

“I know,” He almost snaps, and you just sigh. “I’m just trying to find the words okay, just- just give me a sec.” He keeps pacing, and it’s starting to make you dizzy so you cross the room to sit at the kitchen table.

“I’ve been a mess,” He begins, still pacing, not even looking at you. “Since the airport, since you said goodbye. And I thought- I thought that being on tour and being so busy would help distract from the break up. But I was wrong.” He turns to face you, and you can see the stress in his eyes, and it damn near breaks your heart. “I flew here, to try and convince you to come back with me, to finish tour with me. Because I love you, Y/N. I love you so much. And I’m stupid to think that I could do this on my own. Please, please work this out with me. Because I want every day with you.”

You wait for a couple of seconds, waiting for the punch line or something. Because he could not seriously think you could just drop everything and join him for the next 3 months. “You’re serious?”

“Well, I mean I’m here at your house, at midnight. And I have a show tomorrow, so, yeah. I’m serious,” He replies.

You practically snort as your eyes roll back into your head. “You’re crazy.”

“This thing is, Y/N, when you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then! I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. Because I want you.”

You stare at him for a long time, and he doesn’t even flinch. He’s serious, and yeah he may have been crazy, but he was right. You don’t just stop. He drops his tense shoulders, eyes pleading. And you knew there was no way you could let him leave here without you again. “First of all,” You begin, after a long moment of silence. “You are crazy,” you flash him a smile, and he grins. “Second, come help me pack and think of a good excuse to tell my boss,” You finish, standing up from the table. You think you see tears in his eyes as he lunges forward and picks you up in a spinning hug, pulling you tight to his body before kissing your face all over. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you smile. “Even if you are crazy.”

[tearinmyheartforjosh]

59 40 with josh

(Sorry this is super short) 40. “Have I ever lied to you?”59. “I’m yours.”

“Y/N…” Josh calls you softly from the other side of the bathroom door. You’ve locked yourself inside, and no matter how many times you beg Josh to leave you alone, he stays. “Please just open the door. Come talk to me.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, back resting against the door as you desperately try to keep another sob from ripping through your chest. You had been in here since before Josh had got home, and you certainly didn’t want him to see you like this.

Your insecurities had been getting the better of your for the past couple of days, and finally today you couldn’t take it anymore. While most of the fan base was very supportive with Josh’s decision to date you, there were always the few that liked to point out what you already knew. Which was: Why would someone like Josh Dun want to date someone like you? So you’re doing what you do best, pushing the people you can’t live without away until eventually they give up on trying to love you.

“Go away,” You practically moan, tears slipping down your cheeks.

“Baby, please,” His voice cracks. “You’re scaring me. Please let’s just talk, I can fix whatever is wrong.”

“You can’t! I’m what’s wrong. I fuck everything up, and you’re just going to leave like everyone else did!”

“What? Y/N what are you talking about?!” He twists the door knob a couple times, like he was hoping it would be magically be unlocked, giving up with a deep sigh. “Baby, listen,” his voice is pleading and scared. “I’m not going to leave you. Ever. Do you understand?”

There was something about the way he said it, the words having a deeper meaning. It was something you had never heard in anyone before. And it comforted you. So you slowly move away from the door, unlocking it and opening it, revealing Josh’s frantic face, as he kneels down to eye level with you.

“How can I believe you?” You ask, voice barely above a whisper, your eyes wide and searching Josh’s for an answer.

His eyes never leave yours. “Have I ever lied to you?” He asks, and he’s slowly reaching up for your face, like he’s afraid of making sudden movements and scaring you. “I love you, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere, I’m yours.” You can see the tears welling in his eyes, as he holds you. You can tell he’s scared, and it breaks your heart. So you close the gap between the both of you, and kiss him. And he pulls you into his chest, and you think, and hope, the for the first time; you can believe someone.