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This is like a week later than I meant, but what isn’t.
This blog was created to
Ride along with me and shirt, my journey in game development, many many years ago. It did not do that. Shame really, that the blog did not assist me in this way.
This is in the past.
Now, I am currently committed to making a video game.
Far as I can tell,. It’s hard given we are experiencing it, but it does appear as though we are at the beginning of Andor in the middle of ,. Something of a renaissance for hobbyist Indy game development.
And delightfully, since the last one, I have developed a very particular set of skills.
So yes. I will be using this old side blog for the time being to post about the current work that I am doing.
This is the event, it is open for 2.5 more days until high noon on Friday, the 14th EDT
Just interviewed with P1 Games . That is where you’re gonna wanna start if you’re wanting to get into this as well.
#game development#video games#indie#game jam#blog update#video game development#unity developers#game developers#video game design#my journey#shoutout to#[P1] Games#nerd shit#nerd stuff#programming#and shit#development#personal and otherwise#networking#LinkedIn#project manager II#Project Coordinator 2#it was always electric#art#teamwork#leadership#hobbyist#indie dev#game dev stuff#itch.io
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Top 10 Free Project Management Software in 2023
If there’s one area where free tools have revolutionized everything, it’s project management! It’s now much easier to work as a team and properly structure the stages of a project thanks to several solutions you discover in this article.
Depending on your needs and your type of operation, one or the other of these tools will be useful for your projects, so that I will summarize these strengths and weaknesses for each one. Finally, find your ideal project management software in this selection!
1. Projektly.com
Are you seeking a powerful, efficient, intuitive project management and teamwork tool? Projektly.com is the ideal online software because it has many functions, such as managing tasks (prioritizing, assigning to team members) and setting goals and deadlines to ensure good productivity.
You control everything in one place by following the progress of projects in real-time. You can store files directly in the collaborative workspace and connect thousands of other tools to accelerate projects.
Without a doubt, the project management software most often meets the needs of companies of all sizes. Planning a project and carrying it out while maintaining good time management is the objective that will be achieved thanks to this solution. The tool offers a free trial without obligation for 30 days.
2. Hubspot
Hubspot offers easy-to-use project management software that’s known for being very powerful. With this software, you can create and manage different team tasks (including deadlines, recurrences, or adding documents to your tasks), manage the execution of your projects entirely (thanks to integrating other Hubspot marketing tools), and create project templates that you can reuse later.
With Hubspot, you’re guaranteed to use a complete and intuitive tool that will meet your expectations to save time and increase productivity.
3. Teamwork
Managing projects with different teams or even with people outside your organization can be complex. This is where the Teamwork software comes into play. You work with several people or groups with specialized skills to achieve your goals. Teamwork can make it easy if you’re working with employees, freelancers, or external partners to achieve an end goal.
Teamwork helps project managers keep track of all their tasks, documents, discussions, contacts, etc. It gives you a clear view of the work done on a particular project or task, wherever you are. You can search for files or conversations on your computer or through mobile apps by keyword (to make it easier to find). With Teamwork Calendar, you can easily plan projects while collaborating with others and managing multiple projects at once.
4. Favro, the rising project management software
Favro is a project management and collaboration tool for employees to plan, follow, and develop ideas. Designed to adapt to the size and needs of any project, Favro allows users to add functions and integrations according to their requirements. Favro offers team dashboards, aggregated reports, and built-in Kanban and SCRUM functions support.
Projects are divided into different tasks, making it possible to follow each job individually. The solution has a scheduling board where employees can list their tasks and update other team members on the status of the tasks.
Favro, like Trello, is a project management software based on Kanban. The main difference is that Favro has more features than Trello and more integrations with third-party applications and possible automation. 5. Wrike
Wrike aims to save you time and allow all team members to focus on their core responsibilities. Whether tracking and organizing tasks, managing calendars, or communicating through discussion forums, Wrike can help you optimize your workflow and complete projects faster. With Wrike, you can collaborate in real time, and this tool offers many valuable features, such as reports and dashboards for quick data analysis to track project progress. You can also manage work schedules for each team member, Gantt charts to visualize progress over time, multi-level security controls, file downloads, and more.
6. Trello
The best-known free management tool, Trello, is one of the essential ones. The concept of project management takes the form of “cards” that contain lists of actions that you can move in a table that you have structured with columns according to your needs. For example, you can create a column for urgent and essential actions, another for urgent and unimportant, etc. This logic follows the Kanban project management procedure (the one Toyota used).
7. Nutcache
Nutcache falls into the category of all-in-one solutions. In addition to collaborative project management, Nutcache offers teams of all sizes complete management software, including project budgets, assignment tasks, time tracking, expense management, and final billing. With this software, there is no need for management training. Nutcache is free for teams of up to 20 members, which may allow you to do a free trial before moving to the paid plan if necessary.
8. FreedCamp
For those familiar with the BaseCamp management tool they won’t be out of tune with FreedCamp, which includes its main functionalities, but with the advantage of being freemium. The idea here is to manage team projects with several functionalities such as task assignment, the possibility of commenting, a calendar view of actions to be performed, document management, etc. The tool is well thought out if you have several projects in parallel with several teams.
9. Zoho Projects
Zoho Projects is, as its name suggests, part of Zoho’s suite of professional tools (CRM, Docs, Mail, etc.). Among the notable advantages of the solution, the control panels on the progress of tasks and the integrated time tracking system are potentially very interesting for agencies in particular. We can also highlight the integration with other Zoho solutions and with Google Docs or Dropbox.
10. Wimi
Wimi is a French freemium project management software created in 2010. The interface is very user-friendly, with a Kanban-shaped presentation. Wimi offers several potentially useful professional tools, such as discussion channels, video/audio calls, collaborative platforms, etc. Remember that Wimi provides a free webinar to help you understand its different functions and efficiently manage and plan your projects. This is perfect for customizable project tracking.
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Plétora: Un juego de voces y personajes
(English Version Below)
Un grupo de personajes vivos para hablar y vivir solo un simple momento. ¿Cuántas voces se pueden escuchar dentro y fuera del escenario? ¿Qué quiere ver el público?. Entre la oscuridad de los pasillos, las texturas del vestuario y el maquillaje, la magia de la creatividad y la existencia de otras vidas siempre estará dando vueltas en la mente de los artistas.
Plethora: A voice and characters game
A group of characters alive to talk and live just a simple moment. How many voices can be heard in and out of the stage ? what is the audience wanting to see ?. Among the darkness of hallways, textures of costumes and makeup the magic of creativity and existence of other lives will always be circling in the mind of the artists .
#theatre life#community theatre#teatro#teamwork#character concept#players#colors#places#costume#project#independent#alternative#self management
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my team lead gave me a really nice compliment on the work and attention to detail on the project i'm working on, saying my hard work has not been unnoticed and he's proud to present this data
however he also mentioned how i've done more work on it/presenting it than my coworker has and i literally can't tell if he was like "don't worry i noticed you've taken the lead, good job and i know to give credit to you" or if he meant it like "please include your coworker more" LOL
#was he saying that he's noticed me taking the lead#as like a 'dont worry i'm not giving you 50-50 credit i know it's more like 75-25 credit'#or is he saying it as like a 'please do more teamwork'#i cant tell#either he was way too nice in giving me advice that it went over my head or he was just being nice in general#i defended my coworker as helping me since i run stuff by her multple timea a day and ahe helps me create emails and choose things#and he said 'oh i know i didnt mean to imply she did nothing i know she's helped i just have to present it as a team project to management'#so what does that mean. is he saying for me to not get jealous of her getting credit (i wasnt) or for me to include her more#the mysteries of social interaction#BUT I GOT A NICE COMMENT BABEYYYY#100% chance he tells my manager and praises me for this
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Best Practices for Securing Your Collaborative Projects
As remote work and full-online business models become the norm, working with platforms like HackMD is becoming an increasingly popular way to carry out projects. However, with the power of digital collaboration comes the responsibility of security, and we must ensure that we protect data and project integrity when working online. Regardless of your work type, security should be a priority in the…
#collaboration safety#collaborative projects#cyber safety#Data Protection#digital security#online security#project management#project security#secure collaboration#secure sharing#team project protection#teamwork security
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Chatwise Shares is a dynamic
Chatwise Shares is a dynamic and forward-thinking tech company that specializes in creating innovative solutions for seamless communication and collaboration in the modern workplace. Their flagship product, Chatwise Connect, is a comprehensive platform that integrates chat, video conferencing, file sharing, and project management tools into one intuitive interface.
In an office scenario, employees at Chatwise Shares experience a highly interactive and collaborative environment. Teams use Chatwise Connect to stay connected, share ideas, and collaborate on projects in real-time. The platform's user-friendly interface makes it easy for employees to communicate across departments and locations, fostering a culture of teamwork and innovation.
One unique feature of Chatwise Connect is its virtual meeting rooms, which allow team members to join video conferences and collaborate on documents simultaneously. This feature is particularly useful for remote teams, as it enables them to work together as if they were in the same room.
Another key aspect of Chatwise Shares' office culture is its focus on work-life balance. The company offers flexible work hours and remote work options, allowing employees to manage their schedules in a way that suits their lifestyle. This flexibility helps employees maintain a healthy work-life balance, leading to increased job satisfaction and productivity.
Overall, Chatwise Shares is a company that values collaboration, innovation, and work-life balance. Through its innovative products and employee-centric culture, it has created a dynamic and engaging workplace where employees can thrive and succeed.
#writing#chatwise app benifits#chatwise app#Chatwise.co.uk#Chatwise Shares is a dynamic and forward-thinking tech company that specializes in creating innovative solutions for seamless communication#Chatwise Connect#is a comprehensive platform that integrates chat#video conferencing#file sharing#and project management tools into one intuitive interface.#In an office scenario#employees at Chatwise Shares experience a highly interactive and collaborative environment. Teams use Chatwise Connect to stay connected#share ideas#and collaborate on projects in real-time. The platform's user-friendly interface makes it easy for employees to communicate across departme#fostering a culture of teamwork and innovation.#One unique feature of Chatwise Connect is its virtual meeting rooms#which allow team members to join video conferences and collaborate on documents simultaneously. This feature is particularly useful for rem#as it enables them to work together as if they were in the same room.#Another key aspect of Chatwise Shares' office culture is its focus on work-life balance. The company offers flexible work hours and remote#allowing employees to manage their schedules in a way that suits their lifestyle. This flexibility helps employees maintain a healthy work-#leading to increased job satisfaction and productivity.#Overall#Chatwise Shares is a company that values collaboration#innovation#and work-life balance. Through its innovative products and employee-centric culture#it has created a dynamic and engaging workplace where employees can thrive and succeed.
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#Staff Augmentation#Project Management Skills#Technical Proficiency#Adaptability#Communication Skills#Problem-Solving#Project Management Expertise#Collaboration#Teamwork#Truefirms#B2B Staff Augmentation Marketplace
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here are some of my own additions
(the hooty one only makes sense if you know that i was very tiny and cutesy and silly and not AT ALL seen as tough)
Things I’ve done in school as TOH characters:
i’m pretty sure Luz would have done most of these as well but shhhhh
#toh#the owl house#high school was a god damned fever dream i stg#i was just Existing w several poorly managed disabilities and undiagnosed mental illnesses#runnin on like 4 hours of sleep a night#at least partially dissociated the majority of the time#also the knowledge that i was gonna change my name and move far away and not see most of those ppl ever again#so i just kinda Did Stuff#i would not go back to those days but it is very funny to remember#the young raine and eda one isn't AS funny as the rest but was just weirdly fitting#but it was a little funny. barely prepared at all but destroyed the competition just by being freakishly good at teamwork w my friend#almost added eda with her arm ripped off: “the sheer amount of puns i have made about my being an amputee”#but that wasn't rlly a school thing that's just A Thing i do#i feel like it's the univeral experience of having a visible physical disability to use it as a prop for comedy#actually i think it was carolina reaper instead of ghost pepper? so slightly spicier i think? idk#i wanted to add emira and edric but i couldn't think of anything that fit them#EDIT: i thought of ideas for them that i may have to add later#edric: rinsed myself off (fully clothed) in the chem lab safety shower just for fun#emira: titled a college application essay ''cool leg'' and forgot to change it before i sent it to the teacher#or he's me having such noticeable adhd the physics teacher sometimes put toys on my desk to fidget with#and she's my meme infested shitshow of a romeo and juliette project but i don't even know how to describe that one#i was not really enough of a trouble maker to really fit either of their Vibes tho. i was Boring.
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REMOTE WORK - OPPORTUNITIES AND CHALLENGES FOR DEVELOPMENT COMPANIES | iFour Technolab
One of the challenges that remote employees of Software Development companies face is overwork. It becomes difficult to balance work and life when it is under the same roof. Even though working from home means working on different days or hours, and being flexible. But some employees tend to spend more time on work during the day which is not required. Due to this, they feel exhausted, sleep-deprived, and lack of personal time.
The workload does not allow the employee to focus on the essential tasks and leads to a significant decrease in productivity.
#Uw zoekopdracht eindigt hier#frantic teamwork brainstorming sessions#Build Angular Reactive Templates#include bad internet connections#organized remote team set#Heading upwards remote work#Software Ontwikkeling Diensten#Software Development companies face#include team members sharing#completely remote team set-up#use project management tools#team speaks different languages#collaboration tools available#Software Outsourcing Experiences#software development companies#promote real-time connectivity#Angular Dependency Providers#innovative technological tools
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Official Presentation Waltham Training & Recruitment Consultants Ltd
We offer Apprenticeship based programmes, working with local communities and FE Colleges to promote cooperation and help isolated groups of people like teenagers, asylum seekers, women and jobless to acquire life-changing skills and get into employment and improve on their standards of living.
Coventry Road,Ilford,Essex,IG1 4QR
020 8554 9000
#Alcohol Personal Licence Holder#Cyber Security#Developing Teamwork#Disciplinary Procedures#Project Management.
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Project Management Software to Make For Efficient Management
When it comes to a project management software list, it’s just like choosing between efficient team members. In project management, there is a continuous need for meeting schedules, spreadsheets, presentations, and all. A project manager can get overwhelmed if the task is to be performed manually. That might have been the case decades ago, but certainly not anymore. How project management…
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Requirements Affect Your Project
When it comes to project management, delays and poor requirements are the enemy. Stay ahead of the game with our tips.👇
✅Involve all stakeholders
✅ Document everything
✅ Communicate frequently
✅ Define clear timelines
✅ Test early and often
✅ Test early and often
✅ Plan for the unexpected
So don't let delays eat into your project budget. Set clear timelines, communicate frequently, and stay on top of your team's progress.⏰
🔵 Contact Us: https://www.odiware.com/contact-us/
For Regular Updates: 👇
➤ Facebook: https://lnkd.in/gYFBY6gy
➤ LinkedIn: https://lnkd.in/dKUyHsxq
➤ Twitter: https://lnkd.in/g2HePPk4
➤ YouTube: https://lnkd.in/dbk_aA6R
#odiware#projectmanagement#businessstrategy#teamwork#productivityhacks#businesstips#project#projecttips#management#projectplanning#business
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Student Experiments Soar!
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Have you ever wondered what it takes to get a technology ready for space? The NASA TechRise Student Challenge gives middle and high school students a chance to do just that – team up with their classmates to design an original science or technology project and bring that idea to life as a payload on a suborbital vehicle.
Since March 2021, with the help of teachers and technical advisors, students across the country have dreamed up experiments with the potential to impact space exploration and collect data about our planet.
So far, more than 180 TechRise experiments have flown on suborbital vehicles that expose them to the conditions of space. Flight testing is a big step along the path of space technology development and scientific discovery.
The 2023-2024 TechRise Challenge flight tests took place this summer, with 60 student teams selected to fly their experiments on one of two commercial suborbital flight platforms: a high-altitude balloon operated by World View, or the Xodiac rocket-powered lander operated by Astrobotic. Xodiac flew over the company’s Lunar Surface Proving Ground — a test field designed to simulate the Moon’s surface — in Mojave, California, while World View’s high-altitude balloon launched out of Page, Arizona.
Here are four innovative TechRise experiments built by students and tested aboard NASA-supported flights this summer:
1. Oobleck Reaches the Skies
Oobleck, which gets its name from Dr. Seuss, is a mixture of cornstarch and water that behaves as both a liquid and a solid. Inspired by in-class science experiments, high school students at Colegio Otoqui in Bayomón, Puerto Rico, tested how Oobleck’s properties at 80,000 feet aboard a high-altitude balloon are different from those on Earth’s surface. Using sensors and the organic elements to create Oobleck, students aimed to collect data on the fluid under different conditions to determine if it could be used as a system for impact absorption.
2. Terrestrial Magnetic Field
Middle school students at Phillips Academy International Baccalaureate School in Birmingham, Alabama, tested the Earth’s magnetic field strength during the ascent, float, and descent of the high-altitude balloon. The team hypothesized the magnetic field strength decreases as the distance from Earth’s surface increases.
3. Rocket Lander Flame Experiment
To understand the impact of dust, rocks, and other materials kicked up by a rocket plume when landing on the Moon, middle school students at Cliff Valley School in Atlanta, Georgia, tested the vibrations of the Xodiac rocket-powered lander using CO2 and vibration sensors. The team also used infrared (thermal) and visual light cameras to attempt to detect the hazards produced by the rocket plume on the simulated lunar surface, which is important to ensure a safe landing.
4. Rocket Navigation
Middle and high school students at Tiospaye Topa School in LaPlant, South Dakota, developed an experiment to track motion data with the help of a GPS tracker and magnetic radar. Using data from the rocket-powered lander flight, the team will create a map of the flight path as well as the magnetic field of the terrain. The students plan to use their map to explore developing their own rocket navigation system.
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The 2024-2025 TechRise Challenge is now accepting proposals for technology and science to be tested on a high-altitude balloon! Not only does TechRise offer hands-on experience in a live testing scenario, but it also provides an opportunity to learn about teamwork, project management, and other real-world skills.
“The TechRise Challenge was a truly remarkable journey for our team,” said Roshni Ismail, the team lead and educator at Cliff Valley School. “Watching them transform through the discovery of new skills, problem-solving together while being driven by the chance of flying their creation on a [rocket-powered lander] with NASA has been exhilarating. They challenged themselves to learn through trial and error and worked long hours to overcome every obstacle. We are very grateful for this opportunity.”
Are you ready to bring your experiment design to the launchpad? If you are a sixth to 12th grade student, you can make a team under the guidance of an educator and submit your experiment ideas by November 1. Get ready to create!
Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!
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🗯️700 Days of you
SYNOPSIS: Part 2 for the infamous Bakugou texts
DISCLAIMER: Guys English isn't really my first language, though i understand it well i had my friend read over and give me feedback on what i should've changed and added I'm sorry if this is a let down but i tried really hard, i hope you guys enjoy any feedback is greatly appreciated, also I'm so sorry it took almost a week i kept scraping so many ideas sorry , ending was kinda rushed as well sorryyyy :((( <3
You've known Bakugou Katsuki for roughly 700 days, which is since you were 14. It's not like you knew him well, you just always saw him around your middle school, neighborhood, and at your parents' jobs. The first time you caught a glimpse of Bakugo was on the first day of middle school, the same year you would be leaving for high school. There wasn't anything special about that day, but what made you cherish that day was that he looked back at you as well.
The very first time you got to catch a glimpse of who Bakugou was as a person was through a school project. There aren't enough words in any dictionary to express your gratitude towards Aizawa for pairing you guys together. That day, you managed to get his number and meet up with him at a cafe. Looking back at that memory, you start to cry, not from sadness but embarrassment.
"Hey Bakugou, over here, I got some food for us," were the first words you had spoken to him directly. It seemed foolish to think about his response; would it be "Thank you so much, I love you, let's get married"? Not really. Maybe you had started reading too many romance mangas with Sero. "I don’t like anything that’s not spicy," he said bluntly, getting straight to the point. You would be lying if you said you weren't feeling as if he would explode any second.
"Oh, well, I can always ask for something else."
"There’s no need for that, let's just get started with the project."
"Oh, right. So, I was thinking..." As the afternoon soon turned into nighttime, you both had a pretty decent outline. Bakugou wasn’t bad, at least you didn’t think so. He was the type of person to get straight to the point of whatever he needed to communicate. Although he had trouble wrapping his head around the idea of teamwork, he was still there with you, giving you his views on your research and fixing the paper you had made.
When the night approached, you had both parted ways. That day, you could proudly say that Bakugou wasn’t as entitled as everyone made him out to be; he was smart. It came as a shock to you - getting used to his yelling was hard, but seeing him care for a school project and be somewhat smarter than you was even more surprising.
The second time you caught a glimpse of Bakugou was when you were at work. Not that you wished to be a stalker, but that's what it seemed like at the moment. As he walked through the door, both of you were stunned to see each other. Although you wished you could crawl into a hole and die in that moment, you still had to stay professional.
"Hello, welcome to Mitsumu’s Fashion headquarters. What can I help you with today?" This was the most embarrassing moment in your life. He just stood there staring at you before he spoke up, "Yeah, I’m just gonna go to my mom’s office. She told me to stop by to help her with a photoshoot." "Oh yeah. I’m supposed to be there. We can start the shoot in a few minutes. Just waiting for the next receptionist to clock in."
20 minutes went by, along with 20 minutes of your anxiety catching up to you, fearing what was to come. The shoot went by pretty smoothly in your opinion. Well, at least Bakugou posing in different outfits went well. The only thing that went south was when the other crew members whispered about you. It was as if you weren’t there.
‘She’s such a screw-up, why can’t they just fire her already i’m getting kind of annoyed having her around’ was a sentence that caught you in a trance, amongst the ‘ugh not her’ and the ‘she’s so weird’ hearing that sentence was enough to make you stop dead in your tracks.
Words hurt. They seemed to cut deeper with every passing day at work. But then you realized that perhaps not all words hurt equally. It was Bakugou who made you believe in that last sentence.
“You two over there near the lights, you’re not discreet at hiding your gossip, instead of focusing on a teenager at your grown age you should maybe focus on doing your job, see that light over there go fix it. It’s your job. She’s doing hers quite fine, Such shame the person you seem to talk about put you both in shame”
He looked at you, and you looked at him. In that moment you knew that deep down the angry Katsuki Bakugou everyone was so afraid of was a mask to hide how he felt. You realized at that moment that Bakugou wasn’t a bad person at all, he just had issues, just like everyone else, And part of you understood that it was okay that he did that. Because by the end of that day, you could say, Katsuki Bakugou was a kind person.
In your eyes, Katuski was the kindest person you could think of if you get to know him that is, and although kind isn’t a word people use when describing him, It was what you thought of him, and you certainly loved viewing him as such.
Katsuki Bakugou, who stayed sleepless nights with you in a cafe reading romance novels and hearing you rant about your favorite character
Katsuki Bakugou, who always glanced at you when sparring because you would cough more normally than what your drawbacks usually are
Katsuki Bakugou, who when you have no money pays for your food and orders more to disguise it as an eating competition saying he would win and ends up giving you his food because he claimed he didn’t like it, even though it’s his favorite
Katsuki Bakugou, Who hated physical touch but would let you cling to him whenever you got excited, scared, or sometimes needed a shoulder to cry on
Katsuki Bakugou, Who isn’t good at comforting people but tries to show support in different ways and when he’s cornered for being soft will always reply with ‘I’m just telling the truth’
That was the Bakugou you knew, or at least you thought you did. But you couldn’t recognize who stood in front of you.
Bakugo Katsuki, who now stood in front of you saying words you wish you could cancel out “We were never friends, I only let you stick around out of pity”. Maybe this was the kind of person you tried seeing in someone. But not everything goes how we want it to go, do we? In the end, it was you seeking comfort in someone else when they probably didn’t want you around.
Maybe 700 days of thinking you knew Bakugou were probably reduced to 1, the one being today. You had concluded the person you once thought was kind was just a character you decided to make in your head.
“What’s up with you, you looked like you got run over” How you wish you could smack your best friend right now, “Shindo you think you’re so funny, could you at least pretend to care, you assface” Yo Shindo, the only person you could say has seen through you, not just physically but emotionally as well.
Shindo just never seemed to leave you alone, having met you at recess one random day in kindergarten. He had spotted you and just followed you around wherever you went. You hit him multiple times with rocks hoping he would leave you alone “You can’t keep hitting me with rocks that’s mean, and I’m older than you” were the first words he had told you.
“I don’t care if you’re older just leave me alone” “No” “ Why not” “Because” “Because?” “Just Because” From that day on Yo Shindo followed you everywhere and you listened to whatever he had to say. At this moment, you wish you had thrown a tree trunk at him when you were younger.
“Get up let’s go get ice cream, you’re even making ME depressed, I don’t know what happened at UA, you don’t have to talk about it just come with me to get ice cream”
“How did you get in my house in the first place”
“I broke in”
“You’re lying, no you didn’t Yo”
“I’m kidding your mom let me in”
Hanging out with Shindo was always a way to decompress however you felt in situations. Being separated from Shindo at the start of High School was always hard to get used to. Not having him come visit you during lunch always felt so strange to you, half of your life seeing him come to your door with two bento boxes just disappear into thin air, leaving you lonely almost every day.
“Shindo is there any way I could transfer to Shiketsu”
“Not that I know of, why?”
“At school, there was this guy I started getting close with, I liked him a lot. Maybe as friends, as more, I can't tell my feelings apart but I know one thing. We started getting closer and getting to know each other, I thought he was a great guy, he would do things that just made me feel loved, not necessarily romantically loved but I felt seen with him”
“It was that comfortable feeling I get when I'm with you. If that makes sense, I thought he felt the same way since he also opened up to me. He texted me yesterday saying he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore, I thought it was a joke Shindo, i even went to the company to look for answers, I found him in the middle of a shoot and I was hoping he would tell me it was a joke but in the end, he told me‘ We were never friends, I only let you stick around out of pity’.” That sentence alone was enough to let Shindo know how you were feeling and as if on instinct he was quick to hold you against his chest as you explained how you felt
“It’s stupid to think he would feel something about me, I feel stupid Shindo I loved him a lot. Whenever I was with him I felt seen, those moments with him made me feel that someone other than you loved me, I feel so stupid, I’m so stupid to think that the boy I fell in love with never existed, it was all just what I wanted to believe Shindo”
“He never cared for me”
It had been weeks since you told Shindo about what happened. Things weren't going great, but they had taken a turn for the better. After school, Shindo would pick you up and bring snacks. Sometimes, he would take you to the library after school.
Your occasional hangouts became more frequent, and Shindo started dropping you off at school in the mornings in addition to picking you up. You began to notice a positive change in yourself, and you were proud to say that you were feeling a lot better. You weren't the only one who noticed this shift; your classmates noticed it too.
"Y/N, you seem happier, especially since that guy started dropping you off and picking you up. Are you guys dating?" Mina was quick to ask you as you showed up to class one day.
"You mean Shindo? Oh, we’re just childhood friends. He started helping me train and with my school work," you replied.
"You guys are always together. It’s almost impossible to hang out without you having plans with him," Midoriya added.
"Sorry, guys. We’ve just been catching up," you tried to clear up any rumors that might have caused any miscommunication.
Everyone had their eyes on you, watching as you spoke so highly about your 'best friend'. Especially Katsuki; he watched as you smiled, recalling all of your memories with him.
It left a sour taste in his mouth watching as you talked highly about someone else. He was never one to express his emotions well, but with you, it felt easy to try and express how he felt. He knew from the moment he stayed up with you in a library reading ‘A Silent Voice’ that he was developing feelings for you.
He was never one to indulge in emotions, but having those deep talks with you every night made him feel dumb for trying to deny his feelings.
He never confronted his emotions straight away, no matter how much Katsuki tried to adjust; he just couldn’t accept the fact that he was growing in love with you. 'Falling in love' seemed like a terrible way to describe their way of loving someone else. But again, who is he to construe about love?
Not that he purposely wished for it to be that way. Katsuki wanted nothing more than to have done things differently back then.
As time passed, he couldn't get the image of you crying out of his mind. It pained him to see you that way. It wasn't just because he liked you, but also because he knew he was the cause of your sadness. The guilt consumed him, and the thought of you moving on only added to his pain. He couldn't help but feel like a fool for what he had done to you.
Katsuki was familiar with you. He knew about your favorite romance manga, your parents' connection to his, your love for fashion, your passion for romantic comedies, your favorite subject, and your usual order at the café where you both spent countless nights. He knew you well.
Katsuki knew all your fears - spiders, carnivals, clowns, open spaces, failure, and his mom when she yelled at your co-workers. He noticed all your symptoms and sometimes felt like both of your hearts were connected. He felt crazy saying it out loud, but those moments when you both trained together, you suddenly felt everything he could think of - dizziness, nausea, chest pain, shaking, and trembling. One thing that always stuck with him was whenever you felt anxious, you would bite your fingernails. Once, he took your hands and tried to stop you from doing that, and he noticed how quickly your heartbeat calmed down and started matching his instead.
"If anyone asked him why he was so in tune with knowing you on a general level, he would say out of courtesy. But if he was asked on a deeper level, he would say his heart was calm whenever you were with him, and he yearned for that feeling and you."
He always heard from his mom that love is the most powerful thing someone can experience, in friendships, relationships, or just emotional connections with someone. He believed the majority of what his mom claimed with thoughts of his own. Love is strong, but is it strong enough to make a person?
Certainly not he thought to himself as he watched you and Shindo laugh and push each other at the carnival.
He was tired of pretending he didn’t love you, but he was also tired of not knowing how to talk to you after developing feelings for you. He messed things up, and he knows it.
It hurts to be something he so desperately wish he wasn’t, a uncommunicative person, but it hurts more than anything being nothing without you
You were gone, no one knew where you had gone they just knew you weren’t at your dorm
The only things left behind were boxes of letters and a blanket he had got you when you were sick. Everyone was distressed, teachers all around the dorms most reassuring students others talking with Nezu on finding out where you were
And all katsuki could do was hope he wouldn’t rip the letter you had wrote to him through his tears and frustration from how tight he held the letter to his heart, hoping some way you could feel how his heart was beating and in hopes of you coming back
Katsuki
Tho the smartest yet dumbest person i know,
If you’re reading this it probably means i left, well kidnapped in other terms, i’ve known for a while i would be taken, i had a gut feeling about this a long time ago so just in case i die, or don’t make it back alive i wanted to write something for you.
There’s so many things i wish i would’ve told you before i left, but sometimes not everything goes the way we wish for them to go, I Know you Bakugou, you’re probably mad i left, or you’re probably pretending to not care, maybe even wondering where i am, if you still care that is, you’ve always been the type of person to think about things too often.
That’s not the real reason i’m writing this letter for you, there’s so much i want to say but i’m afraid there won’t be enough time to do so, so i’ll say it in this letter
Katsuki Bakugou, I am in love with you, i have been from the 700 days of knowing you, but words aren’t enough to describe how i feel, i left a box under your bed, every reason why i fell in love with you is written in all of them. If i do end up being alive i want to say it to your face
But if i am dead, i want you to know you’re the first person i’ve ever truly loved in this life and hopefully i can love you the same way in my next one
And with that i ask one last thing from you, you’re a person who hates changes but please, if anything does end up going wrong i want you to pursue your dreams for bring number one, i’ll always be cheering you on
So for now this is my last goodbye Katsuki, Thank you for making me feel so at home, i still
think about what happened between us everyday but i hope the best for you in life, even if i’m not there
I love you, thank you for being my friend
Y/N
You were such a dumbass. How could he not love you, when you constantly ran through his mind, he tried to keep his emotions in touch but just as he opened the box you left him he was met with notes and items that reminded him of you. What hurt him even more was reading through all the notes you had wrote for him
One particular note had shifted his emotions complete
‘Hey katsuki, remember that time i kept freaking out over my school grades and you comforted me saying it would all be okay? I still think about that moment and how you held me close to your chest and we layed in bed, in that moment when i looked up at you i saw the reflection of my LED lights in your face and all i could think about was you, i wanted to kiss at that moment from how pretty your eyes looked’
In that moment Bakugo Katsuki knew that what he felt for you wasn’t some simple puppy crush, he craved you he knew that whatever he tried convincing himself wasn’t true at the moment
Not when he was clutching your hairpins and notes close to his chest wishing the burning sensation in his heart would stop
Weeks had gone by, You had been found by the pro heroes and all he could think about was how he wishes he was the one saving you instead. But atlas he was glad you were safe
When he had gotten word you were found but your condition was critical he wanted nothing more than to just run out of the dorms and find you, but he knew he would’ve been stopped by the teacher. So he waited, he visited the hospital you were staying at everyday, constantly asking when they would be taking visitors
Everyday he was met with the same answer ‘no’ ‘not yet we’ll let you know when she’s ready’. It was killing him not knowing whether he would get the chance to clear up his mistakes and confess to you.
But all of those thoughts suddenly vanished as he waited for the nurses to let him in
You had no memory whatsoever on when you had been rescued, according to the nurses you had woken up 6 days after being rescued by the heroes, and according to one of the nurses there was a boy who constantly kept looking for you, surely it was Shindo, the nurses had said they would bring him to your room
Shock wasn’t enough to describe how you were feeling at the moment, Staring at the guy you least expected in front of you was surely not on your bucket list at all, you were going to speak first until he beat you to it
“I have a lot to say to you so just listen to what i have to say first”
“Back then, i didn’t really know how to deal with the sudden shift in my heart, watching you smile and do things we would normally do, felt so different one random day, I don’t know when it started but watching the way your eyes would shine made my heart tighten, i knew that whatever was happening to my emotions wouldn’t go well on my part”
“So i distanced myself, i never meant any of the words i said at all, i was a asshole for saying that to you, i’m not expecting forgiveness straight away, but watching you get so close to someone else made me feel uneasy, not in a possessive way, but in a way that makes me remember everything you were doing with him you had done all of that with me”
“And when i realized my feelings and had everything sorted out, i was waiting to confront you but i waited too long and you had been kidnapped, When i read your letter i knew that if i were to get you back i would tell you as soon as i could, i didn’t wanna risk you leaving without hearing what i have to say”
“I’m in love with you, I grew in love with you and your stupid smile, your stupid rants, I love you like i’ve never loved anyone before. You’re the only person that has made me smile and I yearn for that feeling and I crave you most importantly. Before i met you i didn’t understand the true meaning of what love is but being with you made me realize it’s okay to not have everything figured out and just enjoy the present” he had finished off
“You’re an asshole”
“I know that”
“You made me cry”
“I know that”
“But at the end of the day it’s you i would rather spend all the time with arguing and clearing every mistake with katsuki, I love you and i hope we can both learn more about each other”
Though he didn’t kiss you in that moment he did pull you in a hug that warms your heart. Every day you’re thankful you got to know Katsuki 700 days of knowing him made your heart warm at the thought of getting to say you had feelings for Katsuki. Things would certainly be tough from that moment on but if it was with Katsuki it was definitely worth it in your eyes.
A/N: That letter part was heavily ib the galaxy is endless on ao3 ugh i love it sm
Taglist @makaylaislovely @emmab3mma @probablylia0 @socialkid @captainshindo @yourfriendlyweeaboo @st4rf0rlife @juliii @b2mmyy @sangwooswife @sunnydaychai @peyingbills @lemon-lav @tsumuus @itzjustj-1000 @whosmarjj @lovra974 @yourmajestyqueena @scarasw1f3 @tranquilcosmos @antriimx @siraxealot
#bakugo x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha fluff#my hero academia#anime#boku no hero academia#bakugo x you#bakugo katuski#bakugo katuski x reader#anime x reader#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#✎ MASTERLIST#✎MAYON3SA#female reader#bakugou angst#bakugou x reader#anime angst#mha angst#bnha angst#bnha x you#mha x you
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6th House & Your Perfect Morning Routine...
The 6th house in astrology represents daily routines, health, and work habits. The sign and ruler of the 6th house can provide insights into the ideal morning routine for an individual. Here's a detailed explanation of the perfect morning routine based on the 6th house sign and its ruler for each zodiac sign:
Aries (Ruled by Mars):
With Aries in the 6th house, the perfect morning routine involves physical activity and energizing tasks. Start the day with a brisk walk, a jog, or a quick workout session to get the blood pumping and the energy flowing. Prioritize tasks that require initiative and decisiveness. Make a to-do list and tackle the most challenging items first. Incorporate activities that stimulate mental alertness, such as solving puzzles or reading something thought-provoking.
Taurus (Ruled by Venus):
With Taurus in the 6th house, the ideal morning routine focuses on creating a sense of stability and comfort. Begin the day with a nourishing breakfast and a few minutes of quiet contemplation or meditation. Engage in activities that promote physical and emotional well-being, such as gentle stretching or yoga. Prioritize tasks that involve organizing and beautifying your surroundings. Take time to appreciate the simple pleasures of life, like savoring a cup of tea or tending to your plants.
Gemini (Ruled by Mercury):
With Gemini in the 6th house, the perfect morning routine involves mental stimulation and varied activities. Start the day by reading the news, listening to a podcast, or engaging in a lively discussion with a loved one. Prioritize tasks that require communication, multitasking, and adaptability. Break your routine into shorter segments to maintain interest and prevent boredom. Incorporate activities that promote learning and intellectual growth, such as studying a new language or solving brain teasers.
Cancer (Ruled by the Moon):
With Cancer in the 6th house, the ideal morning routine emphasizes emotional well-being and self-care. Begin the day with a nurturing activity, such as taking a warm bath or preparing a comforting meal. Prioritize tasks that involve caregiving, whether it's tending to your own needs or supporting loved ones. Create a cozy and inviting atmosphere in your workspace. Take breaks throughout the morning to check in with your emotions and practice self-compassion.
Leo (Ruled by the Sun):
With Leo in the 6th house, the perfect morning routine involves creative expression and self-confidence. Start the day by engaging in a hobby or passion project that brings you joy and satisfaction. Prioritize tasks that showcase your unique talents and abilities. Dress in a way that makes you feel confident and empowered. Incorporate activities that promote self-expression, such as writing in a journal or practicing a musical instrument.
Virgo (Ruled by Mercury):
With Virgo in the 6th house, the ideal morning routine focuses on organization and productivity. Begin the day by reviewing your schedule and prioritizing your tasks. Engage in activities that promote cleanliness and order, such as tidying your workspace or meal prepping for the day. Break larger projects into smaller, manageable steps. Incorporate activities that promote physical and mental health, such as practicing mindfulness or taking a nature walk.
Libra (Ruled by Venus):
With Libra in the 6th house, the perfect morning routine involves balance and harmony. Start the day with a calming activity, such as gentle stretching or listening to soothing music. Prioritize tasks that involve collaboration and teamwork. Create a visually appealing and aesthetically pleasing workspace. Incorporate activities that promote social connection, such as reaching out to a friend or engaging in a group hobby.
Scorpio (Ruled by Mars or Pluto):
With Scorpio in the 6th house, the ideal morning routine involves intensity and transformation. Begin the day with a challenging physical activity or a deep meditation session. Prioritize tasks that require focus, determination, and problem-solving skills. Engage in activities that promote personal growth and self-improvement, such as reading a self-help book or attending a workshop. Take time for introspection and self-reflection.
Sagittarius (Ruled by Jupiter):
With Sagittarius in the 6th house, the perfect morning routine involves exploration and expansion. Start the day with an adventurous activity, such as trying a new breakfast recipe or taking a different route to work. Prioritize tasks that involve learning, travel, or philosophical pursuits. Engage in activities that promote personal growth and spiritual development, such as attending a lecture or practicing yoga. Embrace spontaneity and be open to new experiences.
Capricorn (Ruled by Saturn):
With Capricorn in the 6th house, the ideal morning routine focuses on discipline and structure. Begin the day with a structured activity, such as following a specific exercise regimen or reviewing your long-term goals. Prioritize tasks that require perseverance, responsibility, and practicality. Create a functional and organized workspace. Incorporate activities that promote self-discipline and mastery, such as learning a new skill or working on a challenging project.
Aquarius (Ruled by Saturn or Uranus):
With Aquarius in the 6th house, the perfect morning routine involves innovation and humanitarianism. Start the day with an unconventional activity, such as trying a new form of exercise or volunteering for a cause you believe in. Prioritize tasks that involve problem-solving, technology, or social activism. Engage in activities that promote mental stimulation and originality, such as brainstorming ideas or exploring cutting-edge concepts. Embrace your unique quirks and eccentricities.
Pisces (Ruled by Jupiter or Neptune):
With Pisces in the 6th house, the ideal morning routine involves creativity and intuition. Begin the day with a spiritual or artistic activity, such as meditating, journaling, or creating art. Prioritize tasks that require imagination, empathy, and adaptability. Create a serene and inspiring workspace. Incorporate activities that promote emotional well-being and connection to something greater than yourself, such as practicing gratitude or engaging in acts of kindness.
Remember, these are general guidelines based on the 6th house sign and its ruler. Each individual's ideal morning routine may vary depending on their unique birth chart and personal preferences.
#astrologist#astrology#zodiac#natal chart#sagittarius#astro notes#libra#capricorn#astro observations#virgo
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Desperate [Bucky x Reader]
Characters/Pairings: Bucky Barnes x female!Reader Word Count: 3k Summary: Enemies? Rivals? It's always been reluctant teamwork between you and the Winter Soldier, but when put in a situation where personal feelings have to be put aside, maybe actual personal feelings are uncovered.
Content Warnings: kidnapping, sex pollen ergo DUBIOUS CONSENT, sexual situations (named acts, non-explicit depictions of vaginal sex), medical elements (needles, IVs, experience of medical distress)
Thank You Notes: BIGGEST SHOUT OUTS to @sgt-seabass who beta loved this into what it is and @vonalyn who helped supply me with some of the vital energy I needed. This was SUPPOSED to be an answer to this little sleepover ask @povlvr had graced me with... but then it became this! Logistical Notes: Filling my eleventh square for Bucky Barnes Bingo @buckybarnesbingo - Y2 "Reluctant Teamwork" and @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer Week 9 which is technically a "FREE WEEK" but had sex pollen listed as one of the suggested things to play with, so... that's why we're here now.
↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
You were an old SHIELD contact that Steve knew before Project Insight. He didn't know you well then, but you had crossed paths a few times. You were an analyst sometimes assigned to Steve's missions. You went to work for the CIA after the Triskellion takedown, where you stayed for a couple of years, before eventually moving into the private sector.
When Steve, Nat, Sam, and Wanda were outlaws on the run, they bumped into you again, and you became an ally and valuable contact in your new area of the country - and ultimately a friend. And trusted enough that you knew about Bucky - and Bucky heard about you.
Bucky didn't love that you were an element in Steve's life. He hadn't met you, hadn't been able to get his own read on you.
He'd been wary initially about Nat, Sam, and Wanda, but he'd been able to meet them and build his own trust - and they'd all ultimately put their lives and reputations on the line for him.
It wasn't that he was distrustful of everyone anymore and needed people to put their lives on the line to prove themselves. Those who had sided with Steve over Tony in the Zemo affair aside, he'd also learned to trust others again in Wakanda with so many of the royal family and the royal guard building relationships with him.
But with you he didn’t know you, and so he didn't like it.
What Bucky loathed even more?
You didn't blip out. For five years, you were there for Steve when he couldn't be. You were apparently there so much that when Steve left, he fucking said to watch out for you. The punk.
Bucky didn’t know Steve dropped in on you, too, and asked you to keep an eye out for Bucky the day he gave Sam the shield. You promised you would.
You reached out. Not immediately, but in the weeks after.
Bucky was... less than kind.
Frankly, he was surly, ungrateful, short, and rude.
Pieces were moving and with Bucky's reappearance in the United States, the question of his future was an immediate concern. Public and government representatives were demanding trials, pardons, and all the rest.
You told him you had found an excellent contact for a lawyer.
"No, thanks, I can find my own," the words were polite, but the tone was clipped, flat, low - almost a growl.
Being so abruptly shut down, you decided to cut the phone call first and on your terms, so you wished him luck - managing to be more polite than him, making it sound genuine - and hung up.
You called Matt Murdock yourself, and told him about Bucky's case.
You did it only because of your promise to Steve.
And a little bit because you knew you were fucking right and that Bucky needed your lawyer contact.
Matt chuckled, told you he knew about stubbornness, and that he'd go about approaching the Winter Soldier diplomatically and professionally.
Matt pulled off the best possible pardon deal, even if not everything about it was ideal.
When Pepper decided to get back into some of the Avenger support again - after the Flag Smashers business - so she could provide some more trustworthy resources for Sam and Bucky and the old crowd, you were one of the people she ended up scouting and recruiting to come work on the direct home support team with research and tactical support. Sometimes you went into the field with the team, but usually you stayed at home base and relayed with the agents over comms.
This was not because you weren't outstanding, but because it was clear the less time you and Bucky spent in proximity to each other, the less awkward it was for everyone else on the team. You were both professional enough to keep the animosity out of things during a mission over comms, and that was about it.
Otherwise, it was silent treatment and resentment.
Neither of you extended the woes of your dislike for each other actively to anyone else on the team, keeping your mouths shut about your feelings, and engaging in only occasional and minimal eye-rolling when either of you was mentioned. Bucky made a point of giving you electrolyte-enhanced waters first whenever you did go into the field on a mission with them, as if you were a toddler who couldn’t take care of yourself.
Sitting by you at a holiday dinner at Sam’s you almost thought there was a moment of thaw between you and the Winter Soldier, but you didn’t push the almost comfortable silence between you to anything more - knowing it had been long-established he only tolerated you. It was clearly only a temporary pause, meaning very little as Bucky continued to push for you not being put into the field with them. You didn’t need to be around his close scrutiny. He made getting over any initial crush you might have had on him very easy.
Things were fine like that for a little over a year.
And then you were abducted on your way back from a mission outside of Paris where you had been part of the local ground team, taken and smuggled out of the airport. It was not HYDRA this time, just leftover cretins who blipped away but now were back, stirring up their own operation which hoped to double down on being even more nefarious. They were interested in testing some of their new methods and resources while also trying to extract some sensitive information.
Why not kill two birds with one stone by snatching up a well-connected and informed analyst at the heart of the neo-Avengers operation?
They recovered files from debunked HYDRA facilities (hard drives were wiped, but motivated hackers knew how to dig beneath what had been wiped to recover remnants - in hindsight, SHIELD should have taken the tech to a secure location) and developed an even more concentrated and powerful form of sex pollen. They were interested in how it would be absorbed in both the aerosol and liquid forms they had developed. Why not try out both forms on you?
The aerosol was potent enough, but not in a way that would break you for their line of inquiries.
So, they injected it right into your veins.
Compounding with what had already been ingested into your system, everything intensified, and you - much more quickly than they anticipated - moved past what may have been a state where they could've coaxed the information they wanted out of you.
Quickly you progressed to the point where you were consumed by this toxin, your body raging and desperate for the physical activity that will get you to a sexual release and flush the toxin from your system. You were keening and moaning and crying, covered in sweat, straining painfully against your bonds, unable to focus on anything anyone said to you.
You were incoherent and not far from feral.
Having gone beyond the point you could be giving them intelligence, you were still useful to provide information as the test subject, and they kept you on it through an IV drip to see the limits of what an average female body could take before it was completely broken.
You had absolutely no sense of how long this went on, only that you were not even crying tears anymore, just dry sobbing and wailing, because everything in your throat, and in your veins, and in your chest, and in your vagina burned.
It was an agony you'd never experienced in your life.
You vaguely registered a cacophony of sound around you, but it was like it was coming to you through a long dark tunnel, distorted and distant, and you couldn’t open your eyes to see what is going on, not that you could even think to or were capable of caring about anything other than the desperate purgatory you were enduring until you finally passed out.
Bucky and Sam were nearly back to base ops in New York from the Paris mission when the news of your abduction came through, and they turned around immediately. Teams working at home and in Paris - and Bucky in the air while Sam piloted - narrowed your likely whereabouts down to two locations: somewhere near Versailles (because of course evil operations are drawn to the ideas of opulence) or a compound outside of Brussels.
Time already against them, Sam and Bucky made the tough decision that they needed to split up so they could investigate both options as quickly as humanly possible. Sam dropped Bucky at the well-equipped safe house less than an hour away from the suspected Versailles compound and then headed to Brussels.
After arming himself to the teeth as quickly as he could, Bucky fired up the Ducati in the garage of the safehouse that had been equipped with a noise dampener by your tech engineers, punched in his navigational coordinates, and pushed to top speeds to get to there, stashing the bike half a kilometer away so he could make the rest of the approach in complete stealth.
The operation was much smaller than he anticipated, but because of its size it was almost immediately apparent to Bucky that this was where they had you, and he was also confident he would be able to drop this operation and get to you without as much trouble as he expected.
But in no way could he have predicted the state he would find you in.
He heard your agonizing cries and keening within moments of entering the facility, and he'd already dropped four agents at that point, but the excruciating pain he heard from you was its own form of torture in itself.
He picked up the pace, tearing ruthlessly through everyone else that came between him and you.
He got the full view of the condition you were in only moments before you passed out. He quickly undid all the bindings and removed everything they had attached to monitor your vitals. He unhooked the IV drip but had the presence of mind to take the bag for testing later. It was inelegant, but he hefted you over his shoulder, and everyone else still conscious who got in his way of getting you out was incapacitated with a single kill shot.
It was close to midnight when he reached the safe house and carefully tucked you into one of the beds. He pulled a secure laptop and some of the base medical testing equipment into the bedroom and kept watch over your catatonic form while he started running tests on the substance you’d been hooked up to and sent the base data for his samples to the bioengineering team back at HQ.
Over the next hour your body experienced a few fits of violent shaking, but you didn’t rouse until almost 2am. When you did, it was with great heaving gasps, and your arms flailed, your hands grasping at the sheets, at your clothes, and then at Bucky when he appeared almost immediately at your side trying to soothe you. He had a theory he hoped wasn’t true – that he knew what was running through your veins – but it was confirmed when you clutched and pawed desperately at him. Then your eyes met his, there was a recognition but coupled with devastating desperation, and you started babbling his name and pleading, “Bucky, please, Bucky. Need. Bucky, help. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.”
He’d been in distress over you since he first heard your tortured cries hours before, and he knew you needed him.
He wouldn’t deny you.
He knew the anguish of being a slave within one’s own mind.
He worked both of you out of your clothes quickly, and then laid you back on the bed and crawled above you. “I gothcu, shh, I know what you need.” You cried, but with a glimmer of relief, when he sunk into your desperately wet cunt. He thrust diligently into you while you clung to his shoulders and wrapped your legs around his waist.
The first orgasm was quick, and provided a glorious wave of relief that helped, but it was not enough.
Not even close.
For nearly two hours he let you use him, pulling him into you, riding him, kneeling under him on all fours while he wrapped an arm around your waist and took you from behind.
It was relentless fucking until you hit the point of being utterly depleted – mercifully coinciding with when the chemicals seemed to have finally been flushed from your system with enough of the endorphins released into your bloodstream from the numberless orgasms.
If anyone but a super soldier had found you, Bucky genuinely worried they may not have been enough to help. Seeing you at the utter extreme of limits, in dangerous territory, had shaken something inside him he wasn’t prepared to discover. There had been no question in his mind that he had to get you through it.
He smoothed your hair off your face and let your body gently sink back into the mattress, then got up and went to the bathroom, returning with a warm washcloth. He wiped your brow first, and you sighed in relief, eyes already closed in bone-tired weariness. Bucky gently wiped the sweat from your neck, continued moving down your body, and then with a second warm cloth he’d also brought, he gently wiped away the mess of slick that had seeped down your thighs. He carefully redressed your exhausted form, sliding you back into your discarded underwear and his t-shirt that was close enough to scoop up from the floor, and tucked you into the covers. You were asleep before he had finished taking care of you.
As you rested, he continued his vigilant watch from before. You stirred an hour or so later. It was still dark, but with almost a hint that sunrise would be creeping to the edges of the windows soon. He moved to your side again, this time with water, which he pressed to your lips, helping you to set up so you could drink. You began to gulp it down, but slowed when he tried to soothe you and urged you to slow your intake.
When you were nearly done downing the glass, your eyes opened briefly, but catching Bucky’s wary gaze on you, you shut them again. Not before Bucky saw the flash of anguish, however. You scooted away and turned your back, pulling your knees up and burying your head in your arms.
Bucky wanted to reach out and touch you, but settled for softly uttering your name, trying to coax you to look at him.
You refused, consumed with shame and horror.
Your throat was thick with a different kind of agony.
That episode of pain and innate need had ended, but this?
This was a new hell you would have to endure.
“Bucky, I’m sorry, and I know I owe you my life and probably all of my sanity, but please, please go. Please leave me be and don’t put me through the humiliation right now of being here only because you were resigned to helping me despite hating me. I’ll have to bear that forever, but please, just… please at least leave me to myself until we get out of here.”
He was silent for a moment.
“Fuck, I don’t hate you – I never truly hated you,” he said. It was quiet, but perfectly audible in the silence of the pre-dawn.
You raised your head tentatively.
He took a deep breath and continued. “I only kept it up to save face since I drove you to despise me and was too proud to turn it around.”
You were truly overwhelmed. You wanted to say something but had no idea how to respond to that admission, especially when you were already wrung out to the very edges of your emotional state.
“I’ve respected you for a long time now.” Bucky broke the silence.
“You have?”
“Probably more than respected you, if I’m being honest.”
You were still exhausted despite having slept for the past few hours, but you pushed your mind to think… you started to reconsider the thaw from hostility to civility, that he argued with you in group settings less, how everything had become less grudging. But you knew you’d put up your own protective walls to shield you from his scrutiny because it had hurt too much to have been spurned by him when you’d reached out to try and forge that relationship with him after Steve left initially.
And so much of tonight had been a feverish haze, but you had small pieces that were stained into your memory, some of which were him and things you couldn’t categorize as the actions of anything less than someone who cared.
“How do you feel about me?” you ventured.
The two of you looked into each other’s eyes for a few long moments.
“I don’t know that I can explain it all yet – I don’t think I know the words for it, but… let me show you? No chemicals, just us, see what’s really here?” He reached out a tentative hand to cover one of yours.
You nodded.
You let him move in.
You let him kiss you.
You let him lay you down beneath him again, and this time you sunk into each other.
You cried again, but this time from the immense emotion. You could feel it rolling off of him and pouring into you, a balm starting to fill in the anguished pieces of your soul. Your spent bodies pushed through any tiredness and desperately moved together again, relentlessly motivated this time to slake the emotional hunger growing between you. Touches that explored, that carved into memory, that expressed.
This time when you were both only finished by exhaustion, you curled into each other and slept, feeling the beginnings of solace and true peace, a turning of the tide, and maybe the acknowledgement that emotions that had run so deeply between you two were only felt so strongly because you truly valued the other even from the beginning.
READ THE FOLLOW UP DRABBLE: UNCERTAIN AND SURE
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