#teagan and aeron

[closingwaters]

TIMING: Current

SUMMARY: Teagan finally comes around to talk to Aeron about why he's paying a visit.

WARNINGS: Mentions of Parental Death and Sibling Death

It couldn’t be avoided for very long, could it? It was her own house and Teagan had burst into a sprint, as if she was the intruder. Maybe she was. She played the role of a sister, of a daughter, of a friend, but was she actually any of those things? In the way it mattered?

The nymph sighed, worrying her hands together and wiping the clamminess on the shirt she’d snagged from Arden’s closet. It was a comfort to have her scent surrounding her, bringing her a sense of peace. If only for a moment.

“I’m ready to talk.” Teagan walked to the edge of the lake, seeing a bobbing figure in the distance. Aeron was always rather good at camouflaging himself in the water, but Teagan always managed to find where he was. He had a way of moving that was all his own, and she saw right through it all. It was surreal to see him swimming in the lake she protected, and for a brief second, there was a semblance of relief.

After fifteen years, Teagan had the opportunity to watch her brother swim, feel the way her skin became abuzz with familiarity and warmth. She closed her eyes and smiled wanly, the expression fading when Aeron surfaced. Teagan had always revered his true form, the way his body resembled the very frogs they used to catch and release as children. Those were simpler days.

“Aye? You ain’t gonny attack me?” Aeron huffed, keeping himself at what he considered a safe distance.

“I’m…duw duw. You just—okay. No. I’m not gonny attack you, Aeron. I already explained why—just forget it. I’m much too bard over this. You said you wannae talk, so let’s talk.” Teagan rubbed her eyes, letting her true form rush over her body.

Aeron took in his little sister’s visage, both happy and torn to see it. Her skin was marred from years in a war that she began. At least she is alive, he thought. But how far gone was she? Maybe it was daft of him to believe she could’ve let go and become a version of the person she was before. Not the same, obviously, but just a hint. 

Sadly though, to Aeron, there was no chance of that. She was alive, but was she really? He went looking for her, against all odds, hoping that she had somehow survived on her own. The rest of the family had accepted a conclusion without evidence, believing Teagan had died in her pursuit, but not Aeron. So when he did his monthly internet search for his sister’s name, he was happy to discover she was not too far from the Aos Sí. One cryptic call and he was off to reunite with his baby sister. 

He almost wished he hadn’t. His baby sister was dead, and if he were to overlook anything, it could prove detrimental to the family, to the whole community. And that time, they might not be able to snuff out the fire before it burned everything in its wake. It would pour salt in the wound, but ties needed to be severed. Teagan was just too far gone.

“You haven’t changed. I thought you would have, you know? That you needed time. I didn’t want to give you that ultimatum, but the Aos Sí was in danger. You lashed out on everyone and almost gave our location away. And now this?” Aeron choked back a sob, gesturing to his remaining wounds with a glimmer of tears in his eyes. “Fifteen years and you’re still holding onto that darkness.” He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly until he managed to speak again, his voice laden with sorrow. “Is that all you have? Did you really let go of the good we had?” After all that time, after being given a choice, Teagan had chosen her path of hatred. As much as it pained him to believe it, Aeron wasn’t sure if Teagan would ever be capable of love. 

That, in itself, was a heartbreaking horror. 

Teagan stammered, squeezing her eyes shut, “N-no. You’re wrong. It’s not—” 

Aeron interrupted, “Look what you did to me!” He breathed harshly. “Ever since what happened to mam and our siblings, I just watched this darkness grow inside you. It consumed all the good.” Aeron harshly waved toward Teagan, his expression full of grief. “All of it.” He croaked, “I thought there’d be some left or that it came back, but no. You’re just—”

That time, Teagan interrupted, voice cracking against the jagged rock in her throat. “I’m a bad person who’s trying to be good, Aeron. I was scared. I have things to lose now.” She stressed a hand through her hair, “You think I got a darkness? I know I do. I know.” Her lips were trembling, the truth spilling out before her hesitance had a chance to barge in. “I’ve let a light in,” Teagan placed a hand at her chest, swallowing. “And her name is Arden. It doesn’t fix everything, and I’ve gotta do the work, but I am trying—and-and I-I got scared. Was attacked by a warden not long ago and almost died. And you know what?” She swallowed, hands curling into tight fists. “A hunter came begging for me to spare that hunter—his brother. Practically promised he’d-he’d protect me. Can you believe that? A hunter. And you know what?”

Aeron scoffed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He wanted to answer, guessing the hunter was now at the bottom of the lake, but he kept his mouth shut. Even if his baby sister had the strength to fight her darkness for a moment, who knew when how long it would last? She’d already made it evident that it could return in an instant, Aeron’s skin was evidence of that. No one was safe. Not him, not Teagan, and most certainly not the rest of their family. Still, he listened.

“I wanted to kill him, want-wanted to make him pay. But she…she helped me let go. Made the darkness fade just long enough for light to be shed on everything.” Teagan paused, blinking as she stared into the void. Finally, she looked back to Aeron, imploring him to hear her. “There was light and I made the right choice.” Her voice grew soft and hopeful, trembling reverie stuck to her lips. “I despised humans. You know this. And she…” Teagan’s shoulders raised with tension to her ears, releasing when she found her voice again. “She’s human, and wonderful, and sees past this monster I am.”

“She can afford to see past it, Teagan. She’s human. She doesn’t have hunters after her, or a community of fae to protect. But us? Your family? We can’t.” Aeron shook his head vehemently, waving Teagan away as he paced. “She will never understand and she will never know the fear we have. That is why we keep to ourselves and don’t go out looking for trouble.”

Teagan’s cheeks burned and she hiccuped from the way she tried to hold back the sobs. It was happening all over again. Only this time, Aeron had a grieving anger that wasn’t there before. As if he was blaming Teagan for the sentence he was bestowing onto her. “Please.” Teagan gasped out, hugging herself tightly. She wanted her family back. She was tired of the loneliness from the void in place of where her family should be. Why was she being punished for protecting her lake and herself? Change was happening. It was. It just couldn’t be instant.

“I’m trying, Aeron. I am. I am!” She took a step forward, and out of fear, Aeron took a step back. Teagan fell to the ground then, her knees hitting the wet earth and her hands squeezing the silt between her fingers. It grounded Teagan enough to look back up at Aeron, eyes of recycle bin blue and chocolate brown struggling to see through the blur of tears.

“Everything I’m doing is different, Aeron. I-I-I let her in. I-I am letting her show her heart and I’m showing her m-mine. She is becoming my heart. Do you understand?” Teagan’d scar her arms further, sell her own blood if that’s what it took to pay down the debt she sank into. Arden would do the same, and despite not understanding why, the nymph settled in and tried that much harder. She didn’t mind the pain so long as it meant that she could vindicate herself enough to be part of her family again. She’d do her best impression of forgiveness, become a sister and daughter again in the midst of the chaos, and commit until the effort had borne fruit. She would not quit, not sit, and pin a paper heart to her chest so she could make a target that her family’s love could land upon. 

But there would be no fruit.

“You’re too much of a danger, chwaer.”

The words shot down a weight onto Teagan’s chest and she buried her face in her arms as bowed on the ground. 

“Maybe in a few years, we can try again, but we just can’t risk it right now. Not to mention that human? You may think she’s a light, but you’ll…” Aeron believed even if this Arden human were of the decent sorts, his sister may be too far gone into her void. That she’d consume whatever light the human had. He thought better than to say that aloud. “You’re a beautiful monster, Teagan.”

“Monster?” Teagan replied, looking up again with her red-brimmed eyes.

“Aye. We all are. You just so happen to be the kind we fear, and we can’t be scared of our own family, can we?” Aeron blinked away his tears, a thundering storm raging inside. He’d wait until he was far enough away for his release. He was hurting his sister enough.

Aeron was right. It pained Teagan to accept, but he was. Existing in fear around your own family was no way to exist, and she wouldn’t put her family through that. Not again. There was still a chance. Aeron had said as much. She just needed to get better.

“Okay.” She said, defeatedly.

“Okay.” He replied, disheartened.

“You have my number now. Call sometime. If what you say is true, then at least we have that line now to check in, eh?” Aeron began to back away, healed from his wounds but somehow feeling worse than he did before. “I love you, chwaer. Always will.” 

“I love you, too, tadpole.” It came out hollow and weak, a reflection of what she was in that moment. Rolling to a sitting position, Teagan looked up with half-lidded eyes, too heavy with misery to fully open. She watched and sobbed as Aeron departed, the parallels on the exit not lost on her. 

She’d sit there for a while. Maybe until the next day.

[tearyeyedonce-gentlesoul]

glossary (WIP)

i didn't know there was a word limit on tumblr until i made this, so i unfortunately had to remove links that would lead to specific tags and help with organizing on here. also note that this post might be remade in the future

electricpuke/rocklandgame characters: abel, adam, adam whesker, akihiko kojima, akira kojima, alchemy willow, alice (electricpuke), alice carroll, amaterasu, amy, ana (rockland), ana (viral), annabelle winter, arcadian, aria king, ashley kinley, ashton kinley, athena dianoia, audrey, august dixie, avery greyson, ami, axel, baal, cain zeitgeist, callum willow, cassiel, charlie willow, chase knox, chase valentine, christopher “chris” king, circe, damien morningstar, dante stryker, dominick torrero, dylan, edison tekker, elizabeth bathory, elise, enoch, eve, faereighn, farz murphy (electricpuke), foal, freya, gabriel, gabriel lily, grace quinn, hades, hammerclaw, heidi, horus, hunter, itsuki mori, jack buchanan, jason buchanan, jason carmine (rook), jiyun, john, kali, karasu, kaz tyagi, kenny, kiku kojima, kiyoshi, kurt, lachesis chronis, lady yuzu, leo taylor, lilith, lincoln, logan, loki marshall, lucifer morningstar, macey, marco jennings, marcus de la cruz, max, meredith, mia, michael fitzroy, michael volkov, mio, molly, morgan, morgan le fey, munchie, naoki “nathan” donovan, nicolas flamel, olivia, oswalt morrison, peyton, quinton willow, rai, raizer, raja, ramiel, raphael, raphael sivori, reiko nakamura, richter (hotelpsycho), rory stryker, rose martinez, rosey, roy mcnamara, ruby red graves, sally, samael volkov, sanae, sano kojima, sejun, sergio marino, sergio morrison, shane, shiro suzuki, sparrow, sun-mi yeon (scarlet), sydney dixie, teagan buchanan, the engineer, the REAL vincent metzger, thor, tobias reeves, trace, trevor mcloughlin, tsubaki, tyler, uriel metzger, valak, vencil cartier, veni (electricpuke), verak, vincent castillo (electricpuke), vincent metzger, vlad, xander rosario, yeon seong-mi (emily yeon), zero (dollmaker), zero (empire), zeus

gatobob characters: ashe, anthony shore, beg, celia lede, centicat, chamomile, chastity, chet ichpujani, cry, demon, derek aeron, derek goffard, dragon, evander hutch, farz murphy (gatobob), farzen, fox, gideon bautista, harold, jack, jaqueline, jesse, jedka (facility), komodo, lawrence oleander, lich, lily talor, machete, marten trell, mason armbruster, mason heiral, mona winters, raid, raven, ren hana, richard, roadkill girl, samantha, scream, sid, stan, strade, tom, veni (gatobob), vincent castillo (gatobob)

other notable characters: a.e.d, ellen klein, izm, lucien rire, rodchester williams, shaun

known aliases/blogs:

arioddsandends, askparasitegods, bonesandcentipedes, doctor-dollmaker, electricpuke, fuckbyknifepoint, nagakira, nurseharlot, rocklandgames, runawayoutlaw, scarletaegis, scarletmarionette, trentboyett

gatoafterdark, gatoanswers, gatobob, gatoplays-sos, gatxbxb, gurobob, gurpbob, serpulalacrymans

eras (label for creator universes): altinr, arcane, boyfriend to death, crazy au, dark circus au, devil's night carnival, dollmaker, empire, facility, foxtail, human!au, huntress, inferno, mark of belial, nightclub, of gods and monsters, rockland, route 66, self insert, superjail, the artist, the carnival game, the commander, the doctor, the hunt, the misfits, the price of flesh, the puppetmaster, the serial killer, this is not romance, till death do us part, viral, welcome home, yanaki, you kill me every time, zeitgeist

[stainedglasstruth]

PARTIES: Teagan @closingwaters & Arden @stainedglasstruth TIMING: Current LOCATION: Darkling Lake, Teagan's Cabin SUMMARY: After Aeron's departure, Teagan could use some quiet company. She asks Arden over, and the couple have a very emotional conversation. CONTENT WARNINGS: Mentions of parental and sibling death

There were no more tears to cry, not at the moment. The saltless solution felt stale, its remnants still ghosting Teagan’s cheeks. She poured herself a second glass of wine, the drink sending a shudder down her spine as a flash of Aeron’s face ran through her mind. She felt the intrusive, jagged ball lodge in her throat, yet it failed to roll out of her heart, Teagan’s eyes no longer able to speak. 

She pushed away from the counter, circling around the kitchen’s entryway to saunter over to a nook she had put together by her favorite window. She settled in, curling into a blanket with her hands cupped around her glass. The window had a perfect view of the lake, and even better, Teagan could simply turn her head to look at Arden. Who, beautifully, was simply sitting on the couch. The nix stole a look, something so quick and fleeting, it could’ve easily been missed. Arden may have been a powerless human, but she held all the capacity to destroy Teagan in an instant. Instead, she held the nix reverently, using her abilities to build something no one else could. A safe haven. 

Teagan looked back at the lake, sipping her wine. Had it not been for the storm in her mind, peace would’ve washed over her. Flitting her eyes over to the human who wasn’t meant to become more, Teagan worried the inside of her cheek. How long until she ruined this relationship too? She memorized Arden’s face, as a precautionary measure. Memorized the way her lips curled into a smile all her own, how her eyes shone mountains of interwoven velvet, the way her breath quickened when Teagan planted her lips on hers. It was a dream the nix didn’t want to wake up from, and she looked away before Arden was able to catch her in the clouds. 

She was worried. Teagan had made it clear that she needed time to process and feel her feelings, and Arden would honor that. But her curiosity had always been insatiable, and she loved the nix; she just wished she could help. 

It wasn’t as if there was anything she could really do to fix this sort of thing, but she still felt a little useless sitting on her couch and dicking around on her phone. If her being around could give Teagan some comfort, though, Arden certainly wouldn’t deny her. She had done enough silently vibing together with Zack while they did their respective work to know that it was just nice to exist around someone sometimes. 

She saw the nymph in her periphery, walking over to the window. Glancing up from her anonagram feed, she took a moment to admire the woman who had managed to steal her heart. She looked cozy curled up in front of the window with her drink, her glamour off in the comfort of her own home. Arden had grown used to seeing her true form, but it still left her a little breathless when she had the opportunity to really look at Teagan. 

After a moment of hesitation, Arden joined her at the window. She pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head. “Mind if I join you over here?” Her voice was soft, not wanting to interrupt the other’s train of thought. She could go back to her phone and enjoying the music gently drifting through the cabin, she just wanted to be a little closer. 

By the time Arden made her way to the nook, Teagan’s thoughts had drifted back to the conversation with Aeron. She looked at the very spot the two stood, where the chance of family was dangled right in front of her, only to be ripped away. A breath stuttered past the nix’s lips, and she closed her eyes with another swallow of wine. It spilled from her mouth and her glamour washed over her, surprise taking her despite Arden’s attempt to ease into the space.

“Lesu mwar!” Teagan gasped softly, her breath falling into a chuckle easily. “Sorry, sorry. Was in deeper thought than I realized.” Mind if I join you over here? Right. Arden’s words finally sank in and it didn’t take more than a blink for Teagan to nod. “Y-yeah. Of course. Go ahead and sit, cariad. I’d love your company.” It was the easiest truth to say. Everything seemed easier around Arden. Nothing was too cold or too warm, every touch making Teagan relax enough for air to reach her lungs without a sting. Her breath slipped onto her tongue unexpectedly, no mind filled with second-thoughts able to stop it. 

“You’re my favorite person. You don’t even have to ask. Come. Time for a cwtch.” She waved Arden over, opening her arms for an embrace. 

 “Shit, I’m sorry.” Arden gave her an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” She produced a tissue from her sweats, passing it to Teagan along with another quick kiss before taking a seat next to her. 

It was ridiculous how easily Teagan brought a smile to her face. Well, all of it felt a little unbelievable, honestly. She didn’t know how any of this had happened, least of all how it had happened so quickly. It still scared the shit out of her, despite her coming to terms with it. Mostly. There just wasn’t a point in trying to lie to herself, she knew how she felt, as utterly terrifying as it was. They had just… clicked. Like it was meant to happen, her optimistic, fairy-tale-loving inner child supplied. Arden asked it to shut up. 

“Your favorite, huh?” She tried for a playful smirk, but it was too soft as she wrapped her arms around her favorite fae. The urge to do something stupid or, rather, say something stupid was overwhelming. It’s too soon, and not the time. 

“Is quite all right. Not your fault my mind is wandering like it’s lost in the forest.” Teagan chirped, taking the tissue and wiping away the spill as quickly as she could. A tender smile curled her lips, eyes softening at her—well, what should she call Arden? The answer was obvious, but Teagan’s commitment-fearing heart wouldn’t dare let her even think of the term. Instead, she continued her inward musing a little longer, sighing. “You know I can’t lie, darling.” She hummed contentedly when Arden wriggled herself into place. “So, yes, favorite.” 

Licking her lips, Teagan shuffled a bit in her seat, reaching out to place her glass on the neighboring table so she could properly wrap her arms around Arden. She sank deeper into the safety of the embrace, the ball in her throat returning without the harsh thorns around it. “I’m very glad you’re here,” She whispered hoarsely, tucking a rogue strand of hair behind Arden’s ear. “You think I’m strong, but…I’m really, really not.” She hoped the tears were over, but emotions were such pesky things, Teagan thought. Just a month ago she would’ve sooner packed her bags and left, rather than let herself experience anything other than pleasure and an imitation of happiness.

If it weren’t for Arden challenging her beliefs in all the right ways—even going so far as to challenge her own, Teagan’s fear could not have subsided so easily. No, not everything was okay, but the nix finally saw that life was too short to exist within a prison of misery. Where the bar’s metal was smelted from her ruthless rage and forged with the endless path of demolition. It wasn’t over, she knew that. Teagan could still feel the vestiges of her loss crawling in her heart with its jagged claws. But, she was trying. She was fighting for change despite her mind thundering every reason why it was futile. 

“Do you think I was born like this?” Teagan broke the silence, tears falling as she stared into the void of her thoughts. “Born to-to-to…I don’t know. I…” A pause, “I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know who I am.” All that time, all Teagan wanted was to protect the family she still had while avenging the family she lost. But what happens when you’ve lost them all? Worse yet, what happens when you’re the monster who took them away?

That smile? That look she was giving her? Of course, she was already a goner when Teagan looked at her like that. “Just nice to hear you say it,” she teased, another incredibly soft smirk overtaking her. “You’re my favorite, too, you know.” 

With Teagan’s hands free, Arden pulled her in tighter, giving her a gentle squeeze. The butterflies in her stomach kicked up a fuss as she pressed another quick kiss, this time to her shoulder. After years nursing that acute ache of loneliness, she finally had someone to shower with physical affection and a monster had been released. Turns out it was incredibly touch starved. 

Before she had the chance to tell Teagan how glad she was to be here, she continued on, voice rough with emotion. Arden pulled back from the hug slightly to get a proper look at her not-quite girlfriend, and, yes, there were tears brimming in those startlingly beautiful eyes of hers. Okay. She pulled her back in. 

“Oh, honey,” she murmured, heart aching. She held her for a bit, considering her words as she traced random patterns over Teagan’s back in an attempt to soothe her. After a moment, she spoke. “I think it takes a lot of strength to keep going, to keep trying.” Especially considering everything the nymph had gone through. “Even if it doesn’t necessarily feel like it.”

Do you think I was born like this? Arden was curious to know what exactly she meant by ‘like this,’ though she understood the general direction Teagan was going with that thought. She also understood the feeling of not knowing who you are or what you’re doing or anything, fuck, did she know that feeling. “I know it’s not at all the same circumstances, but I’ve also been feeling like that for a while, honestly. I–” she paused for a few moments, trying to gather her thoughts into something coherent. “It’s awful, feeling so lost, but it’s also an opportunity to reflect and make some changes if you don’t like what you see. Like, who do you want to be? What do you want to do?” 

Teagan couldn’t recall a time she’d been a favorite. At least, no one told her as such. Her eyes become filled with wonder, locking into Arden with. A bashful smile covered her lips and she looked away just as she felt the warmth of Arden’s lips spread from her shoulder. It reached Teagan’s chest in just a blink, leaving a heavy but pleasant weight in her stomach. 

Her human was always so affectionate and sweet, but there was something different about each movement. Each touch. Like there was a lingering whisper in a pitch that Teagan couldn’t quite hear yet. Even as Arden spoke, there was a hidden layer in what she was saying, words an escape from the ache inside. It made the nix’s lips tremble with a quiet desire of the heart, emotion attempting to charge past her tongue.

“It never feels like it, you’re right.” Her voice was strained, “But what if you have proof that your strength or your trying isn’t enough?” Teagan attempted to blink away the tears, looking at the lake. It hurt to, the flashes returning. “Coc oen…” She hissed to herself, looking up at a fixed point on the ceiling. Tears streamed down her face, eyes burning from the overuse. Teagan breathed, rolling her mother’s ring on her finger as she thought about the questions Arden tpresented her. She didn’t really have an answer. Not anymore. Teagan thought she knew, but now? She was more lost than she previously thought she could be. 

“I wanted to make this darkness go away. I-I thought I could. That…that I was—I don’t know.” A sob hitched in Teagan’s throat, and she hid herself in the crook of Arden’s neck. “Think I was born with it. Think I was…was bad from the beginning. Now I don’t get my family back. I couldn’t save my mam and siblings, and I can’t save the family I have left. I hurt them.” Silence fell for a moment, but Teagan broke it as her body tensed, the storm inside twisting her into a ball, like a fist protesting the inevitable defeat. “You’re-you’re becoming my heart, and you have so much light, Arden. You do. You do. I know this because you…” Formed a cast around Teagan’s heart out of the light, and signed it with every belief she held for the nix. “Motivated me. Motivated me by accepting me. You didn’t give me an ultimatum or-or-or tell me that I’m a monster even though I am. But…” Teagan shut her eyes tightly, “How long until you see what my family does? How long until I kill you with my…my tainted love?”

It hurt her heart, seeing Teagan trying to hold back her tears. Arden wasn’t sure she should push her into talking about whatever had happened with her brother– she wanted to give her the space to process everything– but it was clear she was talking around it. It felt like something that the nymph should bring up herself, though. What the hell had he said to her?

The sob seemed to tear out of from somewhere deep within her, wracking her body with its strength. Arden felt the sorrowful aftershocks reverberating through her body as Teagan buried her face against her. Reaching up, she threaded her fingers into the other's hair, cradling the back of her head and holding her close. 

Her words were slightly muffled, uttered as they were against Arden’s skin, but still she caught them. Think I was bad from the beginning. It made her chest ache. “Doing some bad things doesn’t make you bad, it just makes you–” Human was definitely not an applicable word to use in this situation. “–a person.” She worried at her lip, debating herself for a moment before finally speaking. “What happened with Aeron? You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready, but it seems… relevant. “

It was an interesting sensation, feeling like your heart was breaking as it swelled and overflowed, and seeped through the cracks, made her eyes sting. It was a confession. A confession of shame and fear and ‘tainted love.’ “Hey,” she said, pulling back enough to see the other’s face. “Look at me.” Arden cupped Teagan’s face in her hands, wiping some of the tears away with her thumbs. “I–” She closed her eyes and took a breath, taking a moment to gather her thoughts.

“You told me before that you saw me.” It had been that night some anonymous asshole online had managed to throw one of her fears in her face. Normally she could ignore bullshit internet comments, but that one had found a chink in her armor on an already rough day. And she tried to brush it off, but Teagan had called her out on it, had seen straight through her and offered her comfort when she was hurting. “Well, I see you, too. It’s not like you haven’t been forthright about the things you’ve done, but I– I don’t care?” Arden felt conflicted about her indifference, and she felt terrible voicing it. “I kind of hate that I don’t, but it’s the truth. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I just–” Fuck. …Fuck. 

“I know it’s way too fucking soon, and you’re hurting and feeling so lost, but I need you to know I’m not going anywhere, okay?” The words spilled out of her in a rush, body trembling from the mess of nerves and terror and adrenaline running through her veins. Arden took in a shaky breath, stomach churning as she looked into those beautiful eyes– an alluringly deep mocha brown and blue as the water she was tied to. “I love you,” she breathed, fear evident in her voice. 

It was obvious looking at her face– the way her whole face softened looking at Teagan, eyes full of such warmth as the corners of her mouth tugged up into a shy smile. “I love you, and you’re not going to ruin me.”

Arden felt nauseous with anxiety, but it was also a relief to put it out there. She just hoped it wasn’t a massively stupid decision that she would come to regret. 

She didn’t want to cry anymore. Hadn’t she done enough of that? Tears wouldn’t fix the problem, there was no absolute method that would, but it felt like it was hollowing her out. Teagan looked at Arden reverently, swallowing while she attempted to make the next tidal wave stop. What would she have left of her family if she let it all go? Let it spill from her heart and through her eyes, in between hitched breaths and burning skin? 

Teagan always feared ending up alone, keeping her grief and pain close to her heart. She wanted to always feel the ghost of who she was and what she’d lost with her, never allowing room for much else. Could anything replace it? Would she be selfish to try? When she looked at Arden again at the question, her eyes casted down to avoid the incoming pity her answer might bring. Teagan had already revealed what had been said, she just had yet to tether it to her brother’s tongue. To speak of her atrocity against him. 

“I attacked him.” She confessed, guilt contorting her expression. “I-I couldn’t feel him. Just heard a trap set off, and-and I ran toward it, ready to kill whatever was there.” Teagan’s voice strained against her throat, “And it was him. I attacked and beat him until he couldn’t move. He was right to plunge his blade in me. By the time I realized who he was, it was…” Trailing off, Teagan rubbed at her eyes, trying to keep from crying more. It didn’t help. “I put him in the lake to heal and when I finally came back to talk, he said everything I just did.” She worried the inside of her cheek, ironless blood coating her mouth. Coc oen… “This darkness in me, this monster, he’s gotta protect them from me. Just like before. I understand. It just hurts because it’s my fault. It hurts because he confirmed everything I’ve ever thought.”

Lips trembled and Teagan looked away, reluctantly tearing herself from Arden to scoot an inch back. She wanted to protect her too, keep her from being consumed by what she was born to be. In three simple words though, she told Teagan that was just what she wanted. Arden wasn’t scared. And unlike most poets, she didn’t use the word ‘love’ freely in her verses, knowing the weight of it. But she made love from the broken pieces of both her and Teagan’s hearts, made something new and presented it to her lover no matter the outcome. 

I love you, and you’re not going to ruin me.

Did she even realize that she’d be met with the same level of noise? That Teagan’s heart beat like a knock on the door as she rushed forward, greeting Arden with a kiss so hungry that the intimacy of silence was enough to whisper her words back onto their lips, without a single sound. Because Teagan loved Arden, too. She just didn’t have the same courage to voice those emotions to life in case she ruined the meaning somehow. 

“Oh, baby.” A few tears escaped her own eyes as she bore witness to the guilt and sorrow weighing down on Teagan’s heart. She had been so on edge after that phone call, after everything that had happened with Emilio’s brother, of course she had just attacked. Arden could just picture the terrible scene. If she were being honest, she could understand where Aeron had to have been coming from after that, but… 

“He really just said all of that and left? That’s it?” She could see how hard Teagan was trying, how much of a wake up call that incident had been. She appeared to be seeing things clearly for the first time in years, and… and it hadn’t been enough. And she could understand it, she could, but she didn’t have to fucking like it. Maybe things were different for fae, but Teagan had been a child when she had witnessed the slaughter of half of her family, she had been a child when the rest of her family had immigrated to the US without her, allowing her to go out at ten years old on a vengeance quest. They obviously hadn’t approved, but they didn’t quite stop it either. It just seemed so unfair, all of this. Yes, she was biased, but fuck. “I’m so sorry.”

Her confession lingered in the air between them, and Teagan seemed to freeze for a few moments before she surged forward, capturing Arden’s lips with a ferocity that left her feeling lightheaded. The kiss was an answer in itself, and she replied in earnest. It filled her chest with a lightness that made her giddy even as the butterflies in her stomach seemed to swarm throughout her body, an electric energy buzzing just under her skin. After a few moments, she had to pull back, breathless laughs escaping her even as she gasped for air. 

Arden couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she gazed lovingly at her nix. “Hi,” she breathed, feeling a little shy all of a sudden. Her brain was struggling for words to say, but it seemed Teagan had stolen those along with her heart. 

It was strange. To expect to be empty and devoid of everything, only to find yourself completely full. Losing a family wasn’t easy, and now it had happened a second time for Teagan. Of everyone, Arden had seen the nix fully, just as she’d seen her. It was like a trade, a deal that the two of them had made without shaking hands or exchanging words. It was just as Teagan’s mother always said. 

Everything had a balance, had an equal reaction. Fate wouldn’t have it any other way. And now? Well, Arden had offered her heart and she was getting Teagan’s in return. It was terrifying, allowing oneself to be vulnerable to whatever pain there may come from opening a heart. Teagan wasn’t so afraid anymore, though. Her heart—Arden could walk freely around the earth, roaming as she pleased, and Teagan would welcome what would come. The pain would be worth it. Every swell in her chest and every dance her stomach made was evidence enough. 

“Hi,” Teagan replied, leaning forward to connect her forehead to Arden’s. Her eyes still stung, the remnants dried on her cheeks and making them feel stiff, but she felt okay. For the time being, she couldn’t help but be filled with joy. They weren’t just dating anymore, it seemed. Though Teagan didn’t know how to delve into that topic. What she did know how to do, however, was adore Arden.

“We’re in deep, aren’t we?” Her eyes flitted to Arden’s, and she pulled away slightly. She kept one hand in her lover’s, not wanting to miss her warmth for a moment. “I’m not so scared, you know. Of what we’re becoming.” She swallowed, nodding. “Not anymore. Just…nervous.” Teagan tucked a strand of hair behind Arden’s ear, scooting closer. 

No more cycles, no more running endlessly like she was on ice, making a figure eight. Teagan would let herself be free. She would keep trying and have the courage to change. She wouldn’t be what she hates. Not anymore.

“You make all this easier. The pain isn’t gone, but it doesn’t hurt so bad. You make me feel hope, like it’s okay. So, for now…” She trailed off, guiding Arden’s hand to her hip while getting even closer. “Why don’t we celebrate what our hearts finally got us to confess? Be it in words or action. Think I can get the fireplace going and make a little fort for us both. It’ll be lovely, eh? Whatcha think?” 

She couldn’t help but think back on the first time Teagan had leaned in, forehead to forehead, back at the start of June, the start of her nightmares. Arden remembered how she had recoiled, caught off guard and overwhelmed by the intimacy of the gesture. It felt like they had known each other for so much longer than just two months. However, at the same time, it did still feel so new. She wouldn’t be surprised to find out that time moved differently in Wicked’s Rest at this point.

We’re in deep, aren’t we? Arden chuckled. “Yeah, seems like it.” It was a relief to hear Teagan wasn’t so scared of their relationship, and in a sense, she wasn’t either. She felt so comfortable with the fae, and she knew Teagan would fit right in with her friends, right into her life, but… “I’m nervous, too.” This was her first real relationship. She had a lot of fears, and there were a lot of things to be worried about. However, she really didn’t want to think about them right at that moment. What she really wanted to do was make a fort with her girlfriend(?) and show her just how much she loved her. 

Hands settling on Teagan’s hips, Arden pulled her even closer, fingers tracing over a patch of exposed skin where her shirt had ridden up. “That sounds perfect,” she murmured before closing the distance. 

[crisontumblr]

Get yourself a snack and maybe a drink before you settle in for this one, kids, because I have got a long tale for you today.

I'm officially of the mind that, after the issue with Connor is resolved, Isolde takes a quiet moment to approach Alistair alone to sincerely, genuinely apologize for the way she treated him as a child. Not even to ask forgiveness; just to genuinely, humbly apologize.

From what Alistair tells the Warden, Isolde spent his entire childhood resenting him and making sure he felt unwelcome in what should have been his home.

"Anyway, the new arlessa resented the rumors which pegged me as [Eamon’s] bastard. They weren't true, but of course they existed. The arl didn't care, but she did. So I was packed to the nearest monastery at age ten. Just as well. The arlessa made sure the castle wasn't a home to me by that point. She despised me."

I don’t know about you guys, but I can conjure up a whole list of ways as to how Isolde might have treated him, just short of turning him into Connor’s whipping boy, to leave this sort of lasting impression on Alistair. (Eamon wasn’t that much better, and I’ve done a fair amount of yelling about him. However, I’m convinced Eamon has always operated under the belief that he’s doing what is genuinely best for Alistair.) Her feelings about him are the reason Eamon sends Alistair to train with the templars to begin with, in a bid to placate her.

Consider what a shock to her system it must be when Connor begins displaying signs of having magic. Isolde knows what happens to children like him, where they go; how his nobility means nothing to the Chantry outside of maybe some preferential treatment once inside the Circle. Imagine what it must feel like, realizing that she is going to have to send her son away, permanently, because of something he was born with and never asked for.

Thedas may not have the word “karma” in its vocabulary, but the concept is surely alive and well. At the very least, the parallel is impossible for Isolde to ignore. She certainly tries, though. Why else does she go to the lengths of hiring an apostate--a criminal in the eyes of the Chantry--to come teach Connor how to hide his gifts?

It fails, naturally, because Loghain strong-armed Jowan into poisoning the arl in such a way as to push Connor towards seeking a cure in magic--which only attracts the attention of a Desire Demon. (I really like that Desire Demons, despite being overtly sexy, don’t just focus on the lustful meaning of desire, but that’s for a different post.) All hell breaks loose.

The castle is overrun.  People die, get resurrected as monsters, kill more people, resurrect them as monsters...

Eventually it spills over into the village. People are killed, get revived as monsters, kill more people...

At this point, I would not blame Isolde for wondering if the Maker is punishing her for defying his will. Or maybe it’s not the Maker, but rather Andraste herself who is delivering this punishment! She was, after all, a mother both literally to several children and figuratively to those who worship her. Perhaps she has been taking stock of Isolde’s life choices and this is finally the thing that tips the cup over.

Isolde spends a lot of time praying. Bargaining. Pleading for help of any kind.

And then, as if in response to her prayers, help comes! They’ve already rescued the village and were on their way to the castle when Isolde was allowed to fetch Teagan. Who are these people?

Depending on how you gathered your party, another apostate, a Circle mage, a Qunari, a Chantry lay sister, an Antivan assassin (and an elf besides), a drunk dwarf, a living stone construct...and the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden.

And one of those Grey Wardens is Alistair.

Irony is a word in the common vernacular of Thedas, and it is not lost on Isolde.

But the inescapable truth is that Isolde needs help and nobody else is rushing in to volunteer. Beggars can’t be choosers. If they can help her family, if they are the answer to Isolde’s prayers, then the least Isolde can do is tolerate his presence for as long as they’re useful, right?

(If there is some kind of divinely sent lesson for Isolde to learn within all of this misery, then she will do her best to learn it.)

Then the truth comes out about how she hired Jowan to help Connor hide his magic, how it led to the suffering in the castle and surrounding village. The consequences pile up. The choices for handling this are laid out before everyone and for a fleeting moment, Isolde faces the very real possibility of either losing her son permanently (in a different sense) or giving up her own life.

(And it’s somewhere around this point where, in Aeron’s timeline, Isolde finally actually learns that Alistair is Maric’s son instead of Eamon’s after Aeron catches them arguing--specifically, while Isolde is in the middle of saying something really mean--and steps in to defend him.)

But it doesn’t happen. By miraculous coincidence, Alistair and his newfound friends helped the Circle of Magi deal with an Abomination problem not too long ago; they even convinced the templars in charge to keep from killing everyone inside. Or, after hearing about a third possible option, maybe Alistair and his friends actually decide to make the harrowing trip from Redcliffe to the Circle tower, wherein they clear out the Abominations and prevent the templars from doing their ordained duty. Doesn’t matter. Point is, the mages more or less owe them a huge favor--and this situation with Connor is kind of huge.

It isn’t easy work, but they are determined to help. Alistair, the boy she despised and resented--on the basis of an untrue rumor, mind you--so badly that Arl Eamon sent him, is determined to help the arl and rescue her son. Her son!

It doesn’t happen right away, of course, but Isolde starts to see the sort of man he has become--kind, compassionate, courageous. She sees, too, the way he attempt to protect himself with jokes and wit. (Isolde is Orlesian, after all, and familiar with the art of the Game.) She starts to wonder how much sadness and sorrow is hidden underneath.

Then she starts to wonder how much of that is her own doing, and she finally finds the divinely sent lesson in the misery.

So Connor lives. Isolde lives. Arl Eamon is saved after Alistair and his friends retrieve the Sacred Ashes, so he gets to live, too. It’s a momentous occasion.

But Isolde does not let herself forget to whom goes the gratitude. More importantly, she knows what she actually needs to do. The problem is that it’s hard. It’s scary. (She figures that that’s part of the point.) How do you find the words? What do you say? How will he react?

Isolde decides it doesn’t matter how he reacts. She has to do it. And she does; on the day before he is to leave with his fellow Warden and their friends, Isolde calls Alistair aside and, after a patch of awkward silence (during which she takes a nervous breath), she apologizes. Fully, honestly, without any sense of expectation of forgiveness; she apologizes for those years that were so hard when they shouldn’t have been.

And Alistair...

In Aeron’s timeline, at least, it makes a difference. It means something. It doesn’t mean they’re immediately friends, but it opens a door that was locked shut before. And that’s good. That’s important.

[closingwaters]

PARTIES: @rhythmicmeow @closingwaters

TIMING: Current

SUMMARY: The mysterious caller finally shows his face while Leticia is helping Teagan patrol the lake.

WARNINGS: Mentions of Parental Death and Sibling Death

It had been days since the anonymous call came through onto Teagan’s cell, and she wasn’t any closer to discovering exactly who it was that found her number and decided to give her an ominous message. How was her number found anyway? 

For all intents and purposes, everything she had purchased had been under someone else’s name. The very man Teagan had put into a bind. She wasn’t sure how documentation worked, but she supposed the so-called plan her phone was on could’ve given her away. The man—what was his name again? Didn’t matter. He said he needed a name to put onto the device and Teagan told him the bare minimum so he could get her ready to use her cell phone. 

Fates, her head was pounding. And she hated to admit it, but she missed seeing Arden.

“Looks like another quiet evening.” Teagan sighed, glamour washing over her as she took a seat next to Leticia on the porch steps. “Maybe it’s safe enough for my friend to come back.” She rubbed her face, chest tightening with worry. “But I can’t risk it. Coc oen…!” Huffing harshly, Teagan slapped her face into her hands, grumbling incoherently to herself.

It had been a rotation of days where Leticia would stay downtown doing her usual business, and then other nights she’d be here, held up with Teagan making sure nothing happened. Sitting on the steps of her friend’s home, she touched the tips of her shoes together, gently bouncing them together to try and rid herself of some of the nervous energy that had been building up. Questions lingering in her mind about who it was that might be after Teagan, wondering if the hunter she had faced only a short while prior had figured out her name too. 

But it didn’t really matter, did it? Whoever it was, Teagan was threatened. The who could remain a question right into their grave for all that Leticia cared. She had no intention of finding her friend wounded again. Never again, if she had any say in it. 

“Seems like it,” Leticia murmured, lifting her gaze from her tapping shoes to her friend as Teagan sat down next to her. “When they called, was their number public or was it blocked? Maybe we can trace it back to the source.” Though taking the fight to them was likely a stupid idea, it felt better than sitting on her hands and waiting for them to act. Reaching over, she put a hand on Teagan’s back, wishing she had more answers to give her friend. Wishing she had some real comfort stored up to show, and not a lingering unease of the situation they found themselves in. 

Teagan lifted her head from her hands, exhaustion weighing heavy on her eyes. What did the damn call mean? “The number was public apparently. My, um, friend showed me how to find my call history.” Pulling out her phone, Teagan handed it over to Leticia, already unlocked. “Don’t mind the, erm…other calls. It’s the one that isn’t saved.” The nix took a deep breath, sheepishly scooting away from any possible embarrassment that could be thrown at her. How anyone navigated the complexities of a supposedly established relationship, Teagan didn’t know. 

“Appreciated, annwyl.” She leaned into Leticia’s touch, sighing deeply as she focused on the affection. As far as friends went, Leticia truly was one of the best. Teagan felt blessed and grateful that she didn’t push the woman away, as much as she wanted to in the heat of the moment. Learning to rely on others was hard, but it got easier as the days went by. As her heart felt encased by everyone’s different flavor of warmth. “Don’t know what tracing the call would do, honestly. Not like I can take a holiday from caring for the lake. She needs me and I need her.”

That was a good sign, Leticia thought. It either meant they didn’t understand how technology worked which would make them an easy target to find, or that they weren’t as threatening as they had believed. But she wasn’t quick to wipe away any of those thoughts, it could just be someone really stupid who had every intention of still causing harm. Looking at the call history, Leticia glanced at Teagan, a smirk on her face before she focused again. The reality was, they weren’t that serious. That expectation had been set at the start, and if Teagan was happy, who was Leticia to judge? “I could run it through a background checker, but that might take a while.” And it would cost some money, but she kept that detail to herself. “Have you tried calling them back?” 

“Of course,” she whispered back, pulling Teagan in closer. Keeping her touch gentle. Things between them might not have landed the way that Leticia had initially wanted, but she was happy here. Happy to be useful. Happy to keep Teagan safe. “Yeah, that is a problem isn’t it.” Offering the phone back to her friend, a frown touched her features. She could go after whoever it was alone, but there was a lot of risk involved in that. They could move, the details could be wrong, and the worst case scenario, they would attack as soon as she stepped away from the cabin. “I’m sorry,” she said, defeated. Wanting a simple answer but knowing that simple just wasn’t possible here. “I wish I could do more.” 

Though there was no verbal tease, there was a knowing flair in Leticia’s smirk. She used her own language, and it caused a blush to dust over Teagan’s cheeks. “Wipe that smirk away, annwyl!” There was no heat in her words, further proven by the playful chuckle that accompanied them soon after. “Arden—my friend—she’s already looking into it.” She breathed, scratching her jawline absentmindedly. “Haven’t thought about calling the number back though. Don’t know if that would do much good anyway. When I asked who it was, they muttered something and closed the chat. Not likely they’d answer if I called back.” 

Shrugging, Teagan nuzzled closer, longing for the touch she had grown so used to. Maybe it was time to call the search quits. There had been no sign of prowlers, and Leticia didn’t deserve to be burdened with a nix’s responsibilities. She tried to reassure Teagan that wasn’t the case, but the guilt was still there. It weighed heavy on the fae, and she wanted nothing more than to release Leticia of that. “Why don’t we call it quits for the day?” Gently, Teagan kissed Leticia’s cheek, offering her a warm smile when she pulled away and sat straight.

At least the sunset was beautiful. The two could sit there a little longer, and then part ways until the moon gave chase to the sun and brought a new day. With this in mind, Teagan squeezed Leticia’s knee and looked toward the horizon. “Let’s not keep you here any longer. I’ve bothered you enough as—” A pained and surprised yell interrupted Teagan’s thought, and she quickly stood to scan the area, attempting to locate the source of the sound.

Could this be the anonymous caller? Focus!

“One of my traps—someone set it off.” Teagan’s glamour fell, and she began to march over, readying herself for a fight. Whatever light energy the area had was officially gone. “Stay here and keep yourself safe,” She commanded, voice devoid of personality, fully focused on the intruder. “I can handle this.”

Laughter erupted out of Leticia before she covered the expression on her face with the back of her hand, but the knowing look about Teagan’s newfound relationship still remained. Maybe it wasn’t as serious as Leticia was imagining, but Teagan was happy. And that was all that mattered to her. “I’m sorry - I’m trying.” The name was vaguely familiar to Leticia, but she tucked it away, saving it for a time when she could be nosy without distracting from the task at hand. “Well, I trust she has it handled then. I’ve got a PI friend, but I’m not sure…” He was a hunter, for one. But she had some doubts about how well they’d get along too.

Inhaling deeply, Leticia looked out to the horizon and nodded. “If you’re sure.” No one seemed to be coming, but there was still an air of unease. How long could they do this before both of them gave up and dropped their guard? What if this person was watching now? Waiting for Leticia to leave? She returned the smile, despite her own discomfort. It was hard, hovering on the line of respectful and protective. But at Teagan’s urging, Leticia was standing up when someone yelled. 

Alert, Leticia took a step toward the noise, only stopping when Teagan went past and ordered her to stay put. “I’ll stay back, but I’m not letting you go alone.” In sight, at least, Leticia promised herself. She could give Teagan space, but letting her go out there alone? Her friend sounded different now, though. Like something had snapped into place that Leticia didn’t recognize. 

But whatever worry she might have, Leticia had to bury it. Giving Teagan a wide berth, letting her take the lead, but not letting her be completely isolated in this confrontation. 

A PI friend? That was a question for later, something the fae would take note of. There was danger close by and Teagan needed to act quickly. She nearly broke into a sprint, her friend’s voice stopping her in her tracks. 

A branch snapped. 

Teagan’s neck bristled, her breath hitching at Leticia’s resistance. Of course she would object, they were friends. Furthermore, the nix had requested her presence for a reason. So why would Teagan prevent Leticia from helping when she was there for that very reason? “Okay.” She sighed, “Okay. Stay close, but if it starts to look bad, run. Do you understand? I can’t fail you too.”

Without another word, she broke into a sprint, counting her paces and recalling what traps were where. The sound was only a few ticks away, meaning the man had to have either been startled by being tripped or he got a helping of rocks straight to his face. Regardless, he was walking again, which meant Teagan didn’t have long until—she yelped, adrenaline spiking when someone collided into her, skin feeling like it was buzzing. 

That someone was a man. She wasted no time sinking her claws into him, blood painting her skin as the two rolled onto the ground in a flurry of limbs. “Who are you?!” Teagan yelled, though she hardly cared about the actual answer. The man was going to die regardless.

I can’t fail you too. Leticia wanted to reach out and remind Teagan that she was capable, that they were in this together and things would be fine. But could she look Teagan in the eyes and promise those things? Could she trick herself into believing them long enough for it to not feel like a lie? There was no telling what had run into the traps that had been set. “Run if there is any danger, I hear you,” she agreed, careful not to promise. 

Teagan took off in a sprint and Leticia wasn’t far behind. Though the distance this time wasn’t intentional. Leticia was making careful steps, matching Teagan’s stride and pathway, unsure of where all the traps might be. Her dark eyes were on the ground a few feet in front of her when she heard the collision. And Teagan yelling. Adrenaline hit her like a wall, pushing her forward, her sloppy movements only getting worse as her mind slipped slightly, the balam awareness amplifying the world around her. 

“Teagan,” she called out, not considering that whoever it was she was tangled up with might not know her name. But what was the likelihood it was a random human stumbling across her traps? “Wait, wait,” Leticia looked at the person on the ground, her brows furrowed. “He can’t answer if you kill him first.” She doubted that he’d give up anyone else that might have followed him out here to hunt Teagan, but with a name, at least Leticia could ask around to some of her friends and see if anyone recognized it.

“It doesn’t matter!” Death tolled from Teagan’s fists, the man ringing with every impact. All reason flew like a bird, running straight into a wall and crashing into the ground with no return. It didn’t matter if Teagan was wrong, if the man was no hunter and just a wandering human. She continued to claw at the man, landing punch after punch until her knuckles felt like they were going to burst. The brutality wasn’t lost on Teagan, but she had to focus on taking the stranger down. She felt like she was winning, and by the looks of it, the lake’s inhabitants were going to eat well too. 

“You shouldn’t have—” A startled gasp escaped from the nix’s lungs, a strike landing on her shoulder in the midst of the scuffle. Teagan stopped her assault, looking down to see a knife plunged into her body. Time seemed to slow down then, her mind and body disconnected as the man tugged the knife away and quickly rammed it back where it came from. “You—” Interrupted again, Teagan was kicked away, allowing the intruder to find himself above her. 

“After all these years, you haven’t changed, have you?!” The stranger scoffed, holding Teagan down by her throat. His heart ached as he watched her thrash to free herself, as she abandoned everything she was taught. It was the same as before. She always did get lost in her anger, foresight shortened by the darkness that followed her. He would’ve cried then, seeing that Teagan still hadn’t let go of her pain, but there was no time. She reached out and pulled something to the left of her, sending a battering ram riddled with spikes straight into his back. 

Teagan crawled backwards, standing up slowly as she kept an eye on the man who exclaimed at her as if they had known each other in another life. She panted, stimming her wound as best she could. “What are you talking…about…?” Teagan’s voice trailed away, a tinge of realization tethering itself to it when the moonlight shone on the man’s face. She knew exactly who he was despite features having changed. He was older, yes, but there was no mistaking it. 

“Aeron?”

Every swing caused Leticia to flinch. The idea of letting this man die at her hand had been a simple thought only moments before, but seeing it happen in front of her caused her to pause. Was this what she wanted? Was this what Teagan needed? It didn’t matter, according to Teagan. Diverting her gaze, she put a hand on the top of her head and tried to breathe, every part of her was demanding that she step in and stop her friend from bludgeoning this man to death before giving him a chance to speak.

The two of them were fighting fast and dirty. The instructions had been to run the second things got bad, and when the knife came out, that would have been the time. In the moment, she felt like a thousand miles away. Not on stage in New York where she had been stunned on stage and ended up fleeing her past life, but where her father was when he died. Wondering if this was how the fight had started, if her parents had any warning before the hunter showed up and killed him? Leticia felt as useless here as she did then.

The battering ram slamming into the man’s back was what brought her out of her daze. She dropped to the ground next to Teagan, quickly tearing a piece of her clothing to stop the bleeding before it got worse. Her hands visibly shaking as she moved. “I’m sorry,” Leticia breathed. Looking at the man who she now knew as Aeron. There was familiarity in the tone they took with each other. In the darkness of the night, the balam still had an undistorted view of the man in his entirety. His facial features—if she had been paying attention earlier instead of freaking out, she might have seen it sooner. 

“So, two fae to patch up instead of one?” But she made no move to leave Teagan’s side, waiting for more context before she put herself in a position to get stabbed herself. 

Everything felt so numb and far away, as if Teagan’s body was no longer her own. At the same time though, needles striked every nerve and sent her gasping greedily for air. Like perhaps, just maybe, it would relieve her of whatever tidal wave of pain was incoming. It didn’t. “Leti, I—” Teagan’s breath lodged in her throat, her hands raising to her line of sight. They were bloody and trembling, a mixture of both her blood and Aeron’s. “I didn’t know it would be him. I-I didn’t. I haven’t seen him in fifteen years!” The last two words had an obvious ire to them, teeth sinking into the space between Teagan and her brother. 

“Like I said, honey-gup, you haven’t changed.” Aeron hissed back, struggling to his feet as he yanked away the spiked board still attached to his back. He was far more worse for wear than he anticipated, which really, he hadn’t anticipated anything in the first place. Aeron had to give it to his sister though, if her water was nearby—and it probably was—she had a good setup for intruders. “So, what, you thought I was a hunter, and you set on killing me without even acknowledging how you can sense me?”

Teagan yelled, “No! You’ve got it wrong, Aeron!” She panicked further, begging her mind to not see what he said as true. She wasn’t the same. She was getting better. “You’re the one who put me on edge. Who calls someone, asks for them, and then hangs up?! Who wouldn’t be paranoid?!” Her mismatched hues pierced through Aeron, guilt  filling them as her brother reprimanded her just as he did all those years ago. What spilled out though, was only anger. “Why are you here anyway, huh?” Teagan reached out for Leticia, trembling hand finding its match with her friend’s. Her family couldn’t possibly want her. Not anymore.

“Well…?” Everything grew quiet, Aeron not answering. Teagan wanted to leave, let go of her guilt, or at least hide it somehow. “Fuck this, Aeron.” She spoke in her native tongue, leaning into Leticia dizzily to whisper in her ear. “I want to go. Please.”

They could sense each other? It was a strange little thing about Teagan that Leticia had never known, and now she felt guilty for knowing it too. Like a secret that she wasn’t supposed to know—one that made Teagan look foolish for reacting the way she did, even if Leticia still supported her. It was hard to know who was friendly and who wasn’t most days, could Teagan separate the pull of her family from another fae? There were too many questions that popped in her mind that she refused to voice, allowing the context to slip away. Letting this be filed into a simple mistake.

The two siblings kept arguing and Leticia stood next to Teagan, trying to pretend like she wasn’t hearing all of this—a private conversation that was likely not meant for an audience. But even as she tried to look at the shape of the leaves and memorize the pattern, the heat of the argument picked up and Leticia’s focus was back on them. She took Teagan’s hand and watched Aeron closely, still unsure if this was supposed to be a threat or if her brother just massively sucked at saying hello. 

“Yeah, of course, let’s—” Leticia had only barely started speaking when Aeron took another step, or rather a stumble, toward them. He started falling forward and Leticia instinctively closed the space between them, barely catching him before he fell completely to the ground. He was limp, with blood trickling from the wounds he had sustained, “Shit.” She strained herself, trying to keep from dropping him entirely to the ground. Carefully, she rotated him so that he was face up, allowing her to hold him upright more easily. 

“Teagan, I—I don’t pretend to know what happened between the two of you. But whatever happened? We can’t leave him here.” Leticia hoped that Aeron wasn’t the source of some of Teagan’s nightmares, but leaving him in this state in the brush felt wrong. A hunter could get him, or a wild animal, or anything. 

It didn’t matter why Aeron was there. How his presence stung and made color flush away from his sister’s face. It didn’t even matter that he was the one who gave Teagan the ultimatum to continue her pursuit of vengeance or leave. He was hurt, and it was her fault. “Aeron…!” She surged forward with Leticia, slowly taking him into her arms and wrapping him up protectively. “No, we’re not. I would never.” And it was true. Teagan’s stomach didn’t flip, or twist, or cause any discomfort. Aeron was family, her big brother. It was as Emilio said about his own sibling. They could do anything, and there was no breaking the bond.

“Hey…hey, you’re okay.” Teagan cooed, watching as his true form began to wash over him. She brush his hair from his face and she finally saw the damage she caused. Fates. Maybe she was a monster. What had she become? “Come on, you old tadpole. Open your eyes. Please.” The welsh trembled from Teagan’s mouth, and she rocked back and forth as she pressed Aeron’s head to her chest. His human form was coming back, much to her relief. 

“Would take a lot more to kill me. You still hit like a girl.” Aeron chuckled weakly, eyes heavy and tired. They slowly fell closed again, and he took on his frog form, the telltale sign of going unconscious. He was still breathing, and that’s all that mattered. 

“Let’s get him to the lake. I can carry him.” Carefully, Teagan maneuvered Aeron’s body so that she could drape him over her good shoulder. She slightly winced, the other growing tense from the movement. “Once we’re settled, I’ll explain everything, if that’s what you want. Or you can go if it’s too much. I know it’s too much, but I appreciate everything so far. You don’t have to do more.” With a deep breath, Teagan wobbled to her feet, groaning with the effort. It took a few breaths, but she managed to get Aeron balanced comfortably on her shoulder. Well, as comfortable as she could get him. 

Leticia looked away from Aeron when his glamour stated to fade. It felt… wrong to look at him when she hardly knew him. He was still closed but what he truly looked wasn’t something he had offered willingly. It was damage and blood loss that had pulled it from him. The smell of the blood finally reached her when Teagan pulled her brother into her arms. The blood on her hands made her stomach roll, but she bit down on the nausea. Grounding herself, Leticia stood as Aeron’s glamour reformed over his body. A temporary loss of control, it seemed. 

Breathing easier, Leticia nodded as Teagan took her brother into her arms and lifted him. She took a step toward them, a hand extended to brace Teagan if she slipped, but she quickly dropped her arms, giving them space. This felt like a private moment that she had stepped into unexpectedly. The two siblings needed time to discuss things amongst themselves. Reconnect. If they could.

“You don’t have to do that for my sake,” Leticia interjected. “Explain, I mean. You…” She looked at Aeron and then back to Teagan, a faint smile on her lips. She was curious, of course, how they had gotten so estranged, about why she didn’t recognize her own brother’s voice, or even just a translation of the language they shared—but was that truly her place? This was not her family, Teagan was not her partner. “You already said it’s too much for you,” she added softly. “You don’t need to force yourself to explain to me.” Leticia looked at her hands, the blood was still there. The shake, too. Shoving her hands in her pockets, she trailed behind Teagan, watching each step, ready to provide help if Teagan needed it as they neared the lake. “I’ll head back once he’s situated.” The lake would take care of him, she assumed. And Teagan was also safe. Leticia, on the other hand. Needed a drink. Maybe three. 

Teagan could feel the tension building, could feel the way Leticia’s anxiety began to reach the brim of her capacity. It spilled over, palpable to anyone who was lucky enough to grow close to the Balam. Taking a few steps toward Leticia, Teagan managed to hold Aeron in place with one arm, giving her the opportunity to pull her friend close. 

Their foreheads connected momentarily, an affectionate gesture Teagan used with the people she cared about. It was quick, but it had happened so easily with Leticia. She cared about her, and had she been fae, Teagan would have considered her to be in her Aos Sí. For now, though? Being a friend was just as good. “It’s not forcing if I want to explain, annwyl. Okay?” A kiss to Leticia’s forehead, “Head to the cabin when you’re ready and help yourself to the shower. Borrow any clothes you’d like and take anything in the pantry or fridge. Think I got some drinks in there too.” 

With a final kiss to Leticia’s cheek, Teagan departed for the lake, listening closely to Aeron’s breathing. It was raspy and tired, all thanks to her. There was much to talk about, much to apologize for. None of which would be happening until Aeron was okay. She hoped he would be. As selfish as it was, she needed him to be. Teagan didn’t want to think about what it would feel like to know she hurt her brother past the point of no return, making her just like the very thing she hates. 

[closingwaters]

TIMING: Current

SUMMARY: Someone pays Teagan a visit during the eclipse.

WARNINGS: References to Parental Death, Sibling Death, Child Death

“They look just like home.”

The voice startled Teagan out of her thoughts, the second batch of stones falling to the ground with a clang and several soft thuds. They were effectively ruined, but the thought barely had a chance to latch itself anywhere in Teagan’s mind. It was elsewhere, anyway. Tragedy had set in motion and derailed any train that attempted its trek to any crevice that led to a coherent notion. Her panic was nothing but a whistle and a shriek, a cry for help that went unanswered until the voice spoke again.

“You can hear me?”

It was as fluid as the river she once cared for and adored. Each word flowed effortlessly into the next. Her voice was velvety, wrapping around Teagan like a soft embrace. Did she dare turn around? She she dare let the illusion go sharp like the cold iron axe that left her headless? As much as Teagan tried to wade through what might be a cruel trick of her own mind, the voice took her attention wholly. 

It was a beautiful melody that she had missed for decades. Captivating, as always, but now that Teagan’s past was a graveyard, it was haunting, too. Lingering in the air even after the last syllable had faded. And it had faded, hadn’t it? The Wye’s song had ceased with its nymph’s death, but somehow, some way, Teagan heard a new melody. Slowly, anxiously, she turned, eyes brimmed with tears widened until they made trails down her cheeks.

“Efa? Y-you…! How?!” Teagan backed into the counter, jostling all of her utensils as she frantically attempted to compose herself. She blinked once, then twice, and then again for good measure. Her sister was still there. “How is this possible? How…? You…” Words failed her, and that only added to the discomfort. She, like any fae, usually knew how to stitch words together into sentences. If that ever happened, some sort of physical approach was taken, but when Teagan instinctively went for a hug, there was nothing corporeal about Efa. 

But only the undead see ghosts! How…? How?!

Teagan watched the room grow darker, as if to reflect the gloom clouding over her. Right. The eclipse. It must be that. It must be some sort—wait. There was no time. She had already wasted a minute or two on her distress. If her seeing Efa was, in fact, a cause of the eclipse, then there was no time to spare.

“Efa!” She closed the distance, hovering a hand over her sister’s cheek. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you. I’m so sorry I didn’t save you or Sara, or Elis, or Bethan, or-or…” Teagan choked on the remaining names, falling to her knees and sobbing. How many times had she done that before, without her family? How long had she needed her big sister, who she was now older than? She became a babbling mess of apologies, unable to produce more than indecipherable sobs.

Efa knelt down and shook her head profusely, looking to the window and then back to Teagan. After how she’d seen her baby sister had lived, how the guilt twisted and gutted her into a shell of her former self, she desperately wanted to help her. 

“Pup, come on. No more of that, okay? Mam needs you to let go. I need you to let go. We all do. We all love you. She loves you.” Efa pointed to a picture that Teagan had hung up. A selfie Arden had taken of the two of them on a particularly beautiful day. Efa had seen her sister’s girlfriend learn to wade water that afternoon, and she leaned her head forward to hover her forehead over Teagan’s. 

“You’re on the right track. You’re changing, and that’s good, okay? Not gonny leave ya until you’re okay. I’ve never left ya. Never. And there’s not a lot of time but I’m asking you to keep trying. Stefan is talkin’ to Aeron and we’re gonny make this right. This family will be right again.” The rays of the sun began to creep dangerously into the kitchen, hastening Efa’s voice. “And you know what? I love you. Mam loves you. And Jac, Harri, Bethan, Elis, and Steffan. We’ve never stopped loving you. ‘Specially when you were lost. We understand, and it’s okay, and it will all be better. You just gotta keep trying. For us and for that lovely lass ya got.” She chuckled tearfully, knowing how important her next words were. “Definitely approve, ‘kay? She’s like a rocket and you’re her fire. Now light that fuse and keep soarin’ where you’re ‘sposed to. You got that, pup?”

Teagan nodded vehemently, smiling and sniffling as the warmest feeling she’d ever felt wrapped around her chest. “I love you all. I’ll do it, I promise. I’ll keep going.”

“Good,” Efa replied, sighing shakily as she became less and less opaque. “You won’t be able to see me, but I’ll be ‘round every now and then. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t.” Teagan said hastily, cupping Efa’s cheeks with a hover. It was all she could do now, and she found that the grief didn’t weigh as much anymore. She could breathe, even as Efa disappeared completely. “I won’t forget. I won’t.” She promised again, with a desperation to be bound to it.

Grief was relentless, and even after decades of having it linger with a violent rage, Teagan could feel it putrefying and roaring in the eerie darkness in her chest. It stayed there in the dark, unable to discern who or what crossed in the echoes. She lit it simmer and spill, burning anyone that would cross her path. But it was okay now, or at least, it was starting to be. The dark tunnel Teagan had been lost in for so long finally had a light. 

She decided to follow it. 

[closingwaters]

Teagan -> Aeron

Aeron: Hey there, little larvae. How— Teagan: Would you protect me? Aeron: I mean, you hardly need protection, Teags. You've never needed protection. You always did the protecting. Teagan: But who— Aeron: Where is this coming from? You’ve been acting so strange. Practically mingin’. Maybe you need to get out of that town. It’s not— Teagan: I’m not leaving. And you’re not even listening! You do that you know. You interrupt. And I know me being alone is my fault, but I just thought I could call and—it doesn’t even matter. I’ve gotta go. [call ended]

[closingwaters]

Teagan -> Aeron

Aeron: Teagan? Are you back?

Teagan: Y-yeah. A friend managed to get me out with her banshee scream.

Aeron: A banshee? You have a banshee friend? Okay, wait. Sorry. I’m just—It’s still—I’m a bit reeling that you’re actually alive.

Teagan: I know. I…I know. Still reeling myself. Arden let me know she spoke with you.

Aeron: […] Yeah. Your human has got quite the mouth on her.

Teagan: Partner. She’s my partner.

Aeron: And human.

Teagan: I know. I love her.

Aeron: […] Well…I’m glad you’re okay. Let’s talk later, okay? Gotta gather some food for the Aos Sí. I’ll call.

Teagan: Okay.

Aeron: Okay.

[closingwaters]

Teagan -> Aeron

Aeron: Hey gup, what’s up? [caller chuckles] Teagan: Just wanted to check in. How is everyone? Do you think I can visit soon? I have-well, something happened and I just wanted to come visit and…yeah. Aeron: Uh, everyone is good. But, uh, that’s not a good idea. Not yet. Not after— Teagan: But I’m getting better. I’m-I'm not— Aeron: I told them what happened. It’s just not the right time, Teags. I’ll visit and we’ll go from there. What happened anyway? Teagan: Just forget it. [Teagan hangs up]

[crisontumblr]

celeritassagittae replied to your post: @celeritassagittae: Consider this an addition to...

Mind you, with your stories especially about Alistair choosing and finding his own path, if he ever winds up, say, First Warden after the nonsense post-Inquisition dies down, I’d love to see if that’s enough for Eamon to concede that being a Warden fulfilled all his potential too (I don’t see him ever admitting that being King would be *bad* for Alistair, beyond “yes duty is painful but it’s the good kind of pain).

Alistair as First Warden, holy shit. Can you imagine? I don’t think about it too often because I haven’t written as much as I would like about their time in Weisshaupt with the current guy, but the mental image of an older Alistair in fancier Warden armor, maybe with some dwarven-crafted spectacles... *____* But yeah, no, I don’t think Eamon would ever concede that becoming king would’ve been bad for Alistair, either.

I’m also pretty sure the only person he would concede to, though, is Alistair himself. Eamon doesn’t strike me as a guy who admits he’s wrong very often.

I mean, that’s an extension of the game’s dynamics, but still–especially when Eamon repeatedly calls Loghain, Anora, and other nobility simply by their names and not their titles. I… just really want to see fic of Eamon’s reaction now, and Alistair just shrugging and saying it’s the name of the best person he knows.

But it kind of feels...not “important” but there’s something about realizing it that feels like there’s an extra something there, y’know? Because Anora, Loghain, the other nobles; referring to them by their titles is a sign of respect, more or less.

And I guess Eamon referring to Aeron as “the other/fellow Warden” might be following etiquette, but through the Magical Headcanon Filter™, it also sort of feels like how when someone in the South says “bless your heart” when they mean anything but. If anything, it’s a way for Eamon to still talk about her without having to address the fact that she’s an elf and coming off as that being his biggest issue with her (except he still fails at that anyway, as he starts to say Ferelden would never accept a non-human queen).

Ngl: Part of me likes the idea of Eamon being super extra about it all. I’m talking extra enough to make his Orlesian wife think he should take it down a notch. Like, at first he’s fine enough with Alistair and Aeron getting married. It’s no big deal, right? They’ve been together for years and it’s obvious he was wrong about their First Love being deceitful and fading or whatever.

But Alistair taking on the name of a commoner? Not even that--a commoner elf from an Alienage?? 

Poor Bann Teagan has to listen to his brother drunkenly wail about how he only ever did what was best for the boy, and how Maric is probably rolling in whatever grave he landed in or maybe cursing him from the Fade, and so-on. (“Oh, who gives a damn that she’s the Hero of Ferelden? | Ohh, an arlessa, is she? Everyone knows Amaranthine is just some backwater farming province!”) He shows up for the multi-day ceremony in mourning colors.

And then, because I have headcanon/idea for fic that involves mistaken identities and duels (and maybe Alistair getting hurt as a result), Eamon’s kind of like, “Wait, hang on, maybe she’s not that bad a marriage candidate...but don’t tell her I said that.”

[crisontumblr]

When replies are a bit borked but the response is interesting, aka:

So, do you imagine Alistair still tries to keep up his relationship with Eamon after the Blight?  I could see Aeron being encouraging because it's something Alistair wants to do, and he'll cut things off if Eamon keeps being *bad* about it, but not wanting to be part of those reunions unless... I dunno, Eamon's on his deathbed.

Courtesy of @celeritassagittae​, concerning my post from last night about Arl Eamon and Aeron’s relationship (or lack thereof).

To that I say, yes. I think it would take some effort, though. I don’t know if you remember the end of “Deciding on the Crown”, but Alistair is pretty pissed off at Eamon by the end of it, since that starts with Eamon doing this:

“So it is decided!” Arl Eamon declares. “Alistair will take his father’s throne.”

The phrase stops Aeron cold. What? Impossible! No! What is Eamon doing? This isn’t the plan. This is not the way things were supposed to be. They were going to back Anora, weren’t they? That’s what they decided, what Alistair assured her would happen—

Then their last exchange is this right here:

“Alistair!” Arl Eamon’s voice makes Aeron go tense. “Alistair, a word—”

“Not now.” Alistair’s voice is firm, almost cold. “You’ve said plenty.”

(...oh hey. Past!Me actually ensured that, even though I haven’t written it (yet?), Alistair actually did tell her, and it was almost definitely after they woke up after the end of “A Matter Between Men”. You go, Past!Me!)

Anyway, yeah. That kind of punch to Alistair’s trust would definitely take a long time to heal, but Aeron would encourage it with a completely straight face. She wouldn’t push him to do it, but if he brought it up or asked her opinion, she would say yes. And like, if Alistair asks her to come with him to Redcliffe or if they can visit Vigil’s Keep, she would do her very damn best to keep it civil for his sake. Family is one of those things that matters greatly to her, after all, and even though Eamon has never quite been the best at it, he is also one of the first and few remaining father figures that Alistair has.

(That said, he also has Bann Teagan, who I must add has a much better relationship with Aeron than Eamon does. Everybody breathes easier when Teagan is there during those visits to Redcliffe.)

And I think, whether Aeron knows it or not (and whether Eamon comes to realize it or not [and what I am dead certain Alistair knows better than both of them]), a lot of Arl Eamon’s actions are motivated by the misguided belief that he is doing what is right by/for Alistair. Eamon believes his actions are going to ensure that Alistair lives up to his full potential; as a man, as a Theirin, as a templar, and then as a king. And like, Eamon just couldn’t let that go, even after seeing how Alistair found his own potential and path.

(I also have this half-finished thing that I’m still not sure about; a conversation between Eamon and Aeron where he tries to get her to encourage Alistair to take the throne and she kindly tells him to fuck off. XD I haven’t kept working on it because I had no idea where it would fit with the rest of the timeline, but...)

There is one other reason Aeron might be keen to have them reconcile, and it makes her realize just how much being a Warden-Commander has changed her.