#tch. whatever. i dont care. ive never cared

[agnetafrieberg]

i dont think ive ever been/felt as lonely as ive been feeling for the past couple years. i would never consider myself a popular person or a social butterfly but ive always had friends, ive always connected with people. to an extent i still do, but not even close to how it used to be.

as i am finding out firsthand lately my behaviors cause people to become uninterested and exhausted, and i often push them away time and time again, as in i cut off contact for literally no understandable reason - when i'm depressed and see no meaning in my existence - then come back months later acting like nothing happened. i know no one is supposed to deal with this kind of bullshit but i never meant to hurt anybody's feelings. and i hate myself for saying that because i sound so phony. in reality i am less than pleasant with people, real bitchy and kinda really mean, a whiny self destructive baby with a shitty behavior, but its not like ive ever really thought "i will Be like this and do it on purpose!!" i actually hate it.

a major thing was my (now ex 💀) best friend of 10 years giving up on our friendship because it's (her words) tiring to deal with me. 95% of my sense of friendship and bonding came from what i had with her. it feels like a breakup of the worst kind. one time i asked our mutual friend "does she still ask about me?" like lmao. ive moved pasted the phase of lurking on social media (which i dont really have anymore. which reasonates with the idea of loneliness i'm trying to convey here) but i catch glimpses of her here and there in everything all the time, i still think about her, i still have dreams with her in them, i still remember her favorite things and her quirks and whatever. sometimes when i read breakup posts i first think of her rather than actual ex partners. it's really bittersweet because i thought we were partners for life. i had a ride or die and i lost it. in some ways it hurt even more than romantic relationships. it was a crushing blow and overall i tried to play it off and act like i don't care all that much but in so many senses the b!tch broke my heart into tiny little pieces and i can't see myself ever truly recovering 100%. she did reach out when she heard about my suicide attempt last year but i couldnt keep talking to her because i felt like she was just talking to me out of pity and i hate that sentiment. i resent her so much but mostly because i wish she would say she's sorry and come back. and knowing her like i do, she expects the same from me. and neither of us will do that. and life is shit

i also find myself missing numerous other friends i pushed away but that's a whole other thing. she's like The Ex i'm still emotionally obsessed with

[sugarchains]

this accidentally turned into a FULL rant post about my students im v sorry if you read it

aight listen i gotta start

getting ready for bed

i called it while iw as at work-im not doing any work at home today. i was up unti 2:30 doing stuff

im exhausted.

and i skipped breakfast to be out the house on time so ive had to doubly eat to compensate and not get hunger pains (which i still ended up getting) 

(eating takes SO MUCH EFFORT MAN.)

HOWEVER, ive been getting surprisngly good with my grading right now and we keep putting stuff in. and just. i felt bad bc theres kids who have legit 3 in my class

like 3 out of 100? 

do you know how hard it is to fail my class? 

you have to literally do NOTHING to fail it. like no discussion, no photo analysis, you cant talk about the information, you cant make your own questions, you cant watch a video and react, you cant read a grade level document on your own, you cant think critically and respond to hypothetical questions

iont even do tests! like i have assignments that i grade as assessments bc theyre cumulative, but V RARELY do i do tests, because im on here and I SEE how students feel and I get that tests are boring and stressful

i can gauge if you know your shit with a written response that you had to cite evidence from better than the test with 20 questions can. i know you know your shit based off how mad you are about the information at hand. 

H O W E V E R. some of these lil assholes havent had teachers just. flat out fail them before? or like. push them to finish assignments in a timely fashion. or not give them make up work. or extra time. listen im REALLY SORRY that your boyfriend broke up with you or whatever, but this assignment was due in january. i let yall have the whole marking period to turn it in. i left the list of shame up on the wall for kids who didn’t turn it in to know. 

you aint handle your shit thats not on me. what am i supposed to do, chase down the nearly 100 kids who didnt turn their stuff in on time? NAH.

and when i call these parents tomorrow-these parents that i have ALREADY REACHED OUT TO SEVERAL TIMES. BY MYSELF AND WITH OTHER TEACHERS- AND THEY FIX THEMSELVES TO SAY “Well what are you doing to help my child” 

bitch, ive grouped them separately, they have perferential documents, they have assignments on their level, videos, music, laptops to do research on, checklists for the work, a video they can refer back to for the work, etc. at this point. in march. if they havent gotten it together, its really not on me-its on you and your own lil nigga

take care of yo lil niggas! stop expecting the teacher to do all that for you!

dont let your special needs services fall through for your child! because he will be treated like a gened student! i cant give him ther services he needs because YOU didnt let them continue his iep AND you LET ITRUN OUT

“oh he needs extended time.” in which case. should a supposed gened student, who is not an ell, doesnt have a learning disability, and has been born and raised in this country. be allowed 2 plus weeks to read 2 documents (both are image documents) and answer 8 questions in total-four for each document? 

stop sending your kids to school without pencils!

shorty got a WHOLE JAR OF COCONUT OIL IN HER BAG BUT NO FUCKING PENCIL?

????? HOW SWAY

HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE

STOP MAKING YOUR KIDS ENTITLED TO SHIT THATS NOT YOURS. I DO NOT HAVE TO LET YOU USE THE PENS THAT I BOUGHT ESPECIALLY FOR ME. IONT CARE THAT YOU LIKE THEM. YALL WRITE LIKE YOU NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO HOLD A PENCIL PROPERLY. MASHING UP MY FELT TIP POINTS BC YOU WANNA DRAW WITH MY SHIT TCH

why do middle schoolers touch EVERYTHING thats not yours

AND THEN GET PRESSED! WHEN YOU TELL THEM HANDS OFF!

LIKE????! just because im a teacher doesnt mean yall can touch all my shit. you are entitled to 1. my attention for the time you have me and 2. a well thought out lesson, objective and activity. dont be upset when i tell you to not touch my timer

or my tape

or my staplers

or my glue 

or the construction paper

or the printer paper

or my folders

or my copies

or my KEYS

my cup of fucking water? (yes it is a cat. yes i know it looks like a sippy cup. why do you not see that you do not have to tell me about the thing i already own)

or my headphones!

whomst. asked yall. to be all touchy. half yall got sticky fingers anyway! taking my shit that i BOUGHT. AND PAID FOR. just because “oh miss but its pretty.” THEN YOU GO GET IT

GO

BUY IT

WITH THE MONEY YOU SPENDING ON ALL THE SNACKS AND FOOD YOU BRING INTO THE ROOM AND LEAVE BEHIND EVERYWHERE imma start eating their food when they leave it behind. actually ive done that before

[justastraightupmess]

☯⚜☠❀✿

i love being a petty bitcc

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

u h. no ?? i dont think so?? ive never rlly been in a situation where i needed to bring peace?? i dont like drama and shit s o. yeah

⚜ How many people do you not like?

uhmmm. idk i dont rlly like,,, associate with ppl i dont like?? or try not to?? idk. ig theres maybe one person but even then its meh whatever

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

something pretty bad bc im a bitch and i never unfollow ppl ever. so idk it’d have to be smth bad. 

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

i can only think of one thing from when i was like ?? 15 or smth. it was just this one time this blog stole my icons, and it was for a character that didn’t have a lot of icons and shit so i had made my own using a shit ton of random fcs that kinda suited. and this blog stole them and like ?? they were obviously mine. anyway not the first time i jsut messaged them privately and said hey those are mine sorry but can u not use them?? and then they had the audacity to tell me ‘uwu no they’re mine idk what ur talking abt’ and im ?????? so i sent another like ?? no ?? they’re mine i made them ???? pls stop using them ???? t h EN THE B I TCH FKING VAGUE BLOGGED ME ?? TALKING SHIT ????? and uh. safe to say i l o s t my s h i t. hard. ive never been s o mad over rp. it was just ??? so fucking rude ??? and i knew for a fu c k ing f a c t  they were mine, there were even some gif icons that were mine and ?? ugh i was so fkin pissed, i straight up @ed them and talked shit

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

uhhm idk. i dont rlly care tbh. im impartial ig??? ive never had any relate to me, liek not abt me or sb i know or even follow so ?? idfc honestly like whatever, u do u

[wereg0blin]

for the ask meme? all of them u thot

For ur and Cris' demand1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Yes!!!!! 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?UhHHHHHH it is 3 years older than me but hhhhhhh probably not3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?Bicth ten mins ago4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?ALWAYS5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?If there are they can go fuck themselves right in the butthole6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?CHOKE-I dont know how but they found me - mr seen aka my eX hHHhH7. What exactly are you wearing right now?a cute ass blouse thingy some tights and christmas deer antlers on top of a Santa hat8. How often do you listen to music?every chance i get9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?jeans i guess10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?i dont even remember 201311. Are you a social or an antisocial person?both damn12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?On the cheek yes13. What about ‘R’?platonically yes14. Can you drive a stick shift?i can climb sticks???? does that count??? 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?they 100% do and i dont really care bc everyone talks shit about everyone 16. Are you going out of town soon?i dont know how to reply to this because i live in two towns17. When was the last time you cried?Wednesday i think,, i wish i could cry more often 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?i try to say it as much as i can bc i have a lot of love in my heart19. If you could change your eye color, would you?maybe a lighter blue bc gray blue isn't that pretty20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?not counting evan,,, uhh Boys ARE A BLESSING TO THIS WORLD FUXK YEAH21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.am planning to tell mh parents abt my depression but hHHHHH22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?if it has boy in it iT CUTE23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?NopE cris is like,,,, my best friend wtf24. What are you sitting on right now?b e d i t s o f t25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?FRIENS. LOVE THEM. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?ALL THW TIME B I TCH27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?my roommates 28. Do you get a lot of colds?nop, but when i do its fuxked up29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Switzerland 30. Does anyone hate you?yepity depity do and i hope they burn in hell fucking pieces of shits31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?it will be a cold day in hell when i drink my dudes32. Do you like watching scary movies?BITCH I L OV E MAKING FUN OF MOVIESSO SEEING SHITTY SCARY MOVIES IS A FUCKING BLESSING 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Nah how tf am i gonna eat spicy shit then???? ¿¿¿¿34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2015????or 2016??? i think that was the worst my depression ever was35. Did you have a dream last night?i think????? 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?right now37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?hope not???? but then again???? kinda hope i do????? probably not doe38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?yes i know at least 2 boys and i feel so sorry for them39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?probs40. Did you have a good day yesterday?mmmeh41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?oh shit i have no Fucking idea 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?y e s43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?i think???? cris must've told me at least one time and evan too so Uhhhh i guess???? ¿¿¿¿44. What’s the best part about school?i get to have unnecessary crushes45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?ppppplenty46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?yeah but he called me a slut and a whore 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?god fucking hell all the time 48. Were you single over the last summer?yep49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nope thank the whatever the fuck is out there 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?sleeping i guess51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?evan is a precious cinnamon roll fuck off 52. Are you nice to everyone?YES YES YES YES ALWAYS as i saidk i l l t h e m w i t h k i n d n e s s53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?h hh hhh fuCking tAke a wIld Gue Ss m854. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?bitch when i cheat will be the day i cut my throat 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?bad feelings? yescrushes? n0Pe56. Do you think you like someone?i think but i hope not57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?nop i do not Think so my dude 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?why THE FUCK would that matter59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?current ones?? i dont think so??? 60. Do you hate anyone?nah i just,,,, strongly dislike themexcept the fucking bitches i called friends i hopr they die in a fire 61. How’s your heart?idk i guess ok??? im always okay62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?not really pffft63. Have you ever cried over a guy?yes all the time,, boys r beautiful 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?hmmmmmmmmm idk i can think of a few people but i hope not 65. Are your toenails painted pink?I W I S H66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?bih i wish i could have my first kiss67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?if boyfriend cries i cry thats bad 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?poor poor souls that actually had this happen to them69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my sister!!! 70. How do you look right now?bored Even doe im honestly just relaxed 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?i do that with everyone bc if u don't like me u don't have tk be around me 72. Can you commit to one person?yes ofc!!!??? 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?even bby ilu74. Have you ever felt replaced?i think?? yes probs75. Did you wake up cranky?nop76. Are you a jealous person?hhhhHA YOU DONT EVEN K N O W77. Are relationships ever worth it?Theyre fun but the end of them makes me wanna die78. Anyone you’re giving up on?crushes and teachers 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?3 more years bih u better wait for meand u too eben b safe u dork80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?sssstudy h81. Last person you cried in front of?mom82. Is there someone you will never forget?yyyES83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?nope he doesn't really care about me anymore (although i dont think he ever did) 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?BICTH ID BE KISSING THAY THOT ALL OVER HER FACE AND WATCHING SAW AND VORING PIZZAEVEN DUDE HHHHELTS WATCH SAW 3 AND LAUGH AT THAT DUDE BREAKING HIS LEG AND THWN I CAN HUG YOU TILL I DIE FROM DEHYDRATION 85. Are you over your past?i ggggUess??? 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?i have no idea 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? @lady-misfortune @space-ace-sneevee @thelilshadowchild88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?what has been has been but i guess idk yet bc ive had like 1 bf for now 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?never kissed 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?i guess???????? 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?i sure as hell have no idea92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Michael Jackson and I are best buddies bItch93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?noPe94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?i was in a relationship with my laptop and i didnt leave him from 7pm to 6am 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?he a dicky 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?bicth fucjing prettiest people youll find97. Who do you have texts from?crissy gorl that im too lazy to reply to98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?happened to me and i said "glad u told me earlier i dont want u being with me if u r uncomfy" it did hurt like a fucking bitch doe99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?bitch never kissed 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?me, myself and i101. Ever kissed under fireworks?NEVER KISSED FFS102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?IN a jar nicely packed and handed to me? no but stomach butterflies so bad i wanted to throw up? yes

[clockworkzoro]

can i just say how it means the world to me that post-timeskip, sanji’s covering his other eye and conveniently now the one he has uncovered is the same one zoro lost. So now they cover each others blind spots