#tcds

[roisingrasby]

Today is sponsored by ...

CW: Mental health and suicide. Today's emotions can be summarised as a mix of defeat and rage. To set the tone, this is not share as a "woe is me" post. This is shared as a "This is the stuff I'm dealing with that I wanted to share with you, so you maybe feel less alone too" type of post. At the start of March I went for a Mental Health Assessment of sorts at my local practice, with the Community Mental Health Team. I was with that person for an hour (along with Dan to offer input if needed) and summarised my mental health as best I could. To do that briefly here, current diagnoses are Depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, OCD, Complex PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I have had at least 6 different rounds of therapy, with different therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists, using a variety of methods. I am on my 4th different type of meds - Sertraline. I still struggle on a weekly basis with certain levels of passive suicidal ideation (Passive suicidal ideation is having suicidal thoughts come up, but not making plans/actions to die by suicide or hurt myself) and feel like I'll be working part time for the rest of my life as I kept burning myself out working full time. My drive is low unless it's helping others, which is familiar to a lot of us, right.

I am fed up of talking about myself. I am fed up of the guesswork of meds; are my conditions partly due to a lack of serotonin/dopamine/norepinephrine or not having them get sent to the right places at the right times? I wanted to see if I could be considered for Transcranial direct current stimulation (tDCS), which involves electrical stimulation of the brain by applying a weak direct current to the scalp. It is NOT Electroconvulsive therapy. It's taken me quite a while to build up the courage to request it, and I had to be quite firm with my GP to even be put forward to ask for it. I won't go into my reasons for wanting to try it, but it's safe to say after 22 years of being "officially" depressed, the drugs/therapy/myself is not working. Today I received the call from the assessor that "It's bad news" and after the team reviewed my case, I couldn't be considered for tDCS. That in itself was pretty disappointing, but when I asked them why - again, a bold step for me instead of just sadly going "OK" - they didn't know the reasons, which gives me nothing to work with. I asked them to get that information if possible, because otherwise it's not a very helpful "No". We agreed a follow-up phone call next week to see what alternative next steps I could take at this stage. Whew. So that's the rant over and no doubt I'll feel sheepish and like i could have explained myself better, but I think it's important to post whilst things are fresh (and when things have sunk in and been thought about, but now is not the time).

[applester]

Look at the baby 🥺🥺

[ax0l-cake]

Don't play with your food!!

[phantom-of-the-memes]

Since I’ve been making posts about American/ British entitlement towards Ireland, I thought I’d talk about this video here.

I am a student at this college. It’s a big tourist attraction for many reasons, but the main one being that the book of Kells is kept here. I am also from Kells itself, but Dublin having the book and not Kells is a whole other issue.

So this protest that’s been happening over the the past few weeks is in response to the college once again raising rents for student accommodation to astronomical rates. That being when rent in Dublin (and Ireland as a whole) is already unliveable. You’d find cheaper rent off student accommodation, but it’s hardly easy to find places like this. As well as this, the majority of the student accommodation isn’t even on campus to begin with. Most are about a 45 minute luas journey away. So what the fuck are you paying for?

This protest is necessary. It’s been a long time coming. Time and time again they prioritise tourists over us. Buildings are old and falling apart, equipment isn’t functional, accessibility is god awful. I know this because I am disabled and use a rollator, but I can’t even use it on campus most days because there’s simply no ramps/ elevators in some buildings.

In one of my lectures last week we were in one of the old buildings. We had a lot of content to cover, but of course the projector wasn’t working. The professor spent fourty minutes trying to get the computer/ projector to work, but to no avail. So we have a whole lecture to catch up on! All of this while I was looking out the window at this atrocity:

A new building for tourists! Yay!

They’ve been building new school buildings for years, but of course instead of finishing them, they’ll spend their time and money on the tourists. I’m not even having an exam in one of my modules because they told the professor that there simply isn’t enough room to host our class for the exam. And it would be “too expensive” to book a venue… it’s only a class of about thirty. He had written a whole exam and we were under the impression we’d have one, but now it’s just continuous assessment I guess!

So you have to understand why we’re not exactly jumping for joy for the tourists. There are hundreds on campus everyday, just generally being annoying and entitled. And yes DISCLAIMER; not all tourists, not all Americans/ British people, blah, blah. But from my experience, you do encounter some obnoxious people everyday.

So that’s why they blocked entrance to the book of Kells. That’s why it’s disgusting for the tourists to be arguing with them and demanding entrance. For once we just want our college to prioritise us! So yeah we will revoke your entitlement, because we are the ones who study here, we are the ones who have to LIVE here.

[hawper]

Another secret santa present for @aresonist but zombie apocalypse Scar deserves his own post :)

[murasaki-cha]

Tcf headcanon

I believe Cale had not realised how much the entire calefam meant to him until the Top's Whip test. He truly believed he was keeping them at arms length until he finally saw the pain he would experience if he lost them.

Because here's the thing, he did say in the early chapters of the story that "His family grew bigger again", yet he still tried to keep a distance. He cared obviously and he did acknowledge them as family, but he was still afraid. He lost his family before, he lost 2 of them. First his parents and then his brothers. He couldn't handle losing another family again.

And I think after he acknowledged that "Oh, they are becoming my family", Cale got scared and tried to keep a distance. The less he cares, the less it will hurt if they leave him. He tried not to show much interest, tried not to behave too friendly and he may have thought he was doing a good job at it. That is until Top's Whip test. Until he saw a future with all of them gone.

And also, it's worth to note that Cale knew everything in Top's Whip test was an illusion. He knew it was not real, that everyone was still alive. Yet he broke. He understood his greatest fear. He understood that it was inevitable now, that he loved them and there was nothing he could do about it. They were his family, his new family and just the idea of losing them was a torture all on it's own.

He didn't just see the worst possible future there, he relived his past. He felt the pain of losing parents he couldn't remember anymore and the parents that he gained now. He relived the death of his brothers, his best friends and was faced with the death of his new siblings and his new best friends that were like brothers to him. He saw, once again, the loss of his team mates, of the shelter members and had to see his companions empty rooms with just their relics.

But now he was faced with a new horror, one he had never experienced before, one that cut too deep. Because, while he had faced every single loss once before and knew that pain already, this was one he had never imagined, one that was truly his breaking point.

His children were gone.

He had lost them too.

I believe it was at this moment, when he saw the piggy banks, that Cale truly knew he couldn't lose this family. That he could not handle this pain. He knew that there was no promises that would keep him alive anymore. His love for them was too great. He could have ignored it before but not anymore, after the piggy banks he was forced to face reality.

He, Kim Rok Soo, Cale Henituse, cares for his family more than he could have ever imagined caring for.

[starlinkz]

What if I wrote a Desert Duo AU set in TCD. Surely people won't be able to tell who my favorite hermits are then

[hoziergifsdaily]

HOZIER — Someone New | TCD Jazz Soc Showcase @ Sweeney's Bar (22/05/13) [requested by anonymous]

4 months before Take Me To Church was released!

[applester]

Literally only he could manage this.

[ax0l-cake]

"WARNING : PULSE UNSTABLE"

[jellitchi]

tcd scar

[alekksdlk]

apocalypse doomed yaoi from my tcd au nonon.ononono....

[the-classic-dreamer]

Cartoon Network: Punch Time Explosion 2 👊

[sasmeo-bisaster]

Me: *starts watching scar's serie of the crafting dead from 10 years ago for funsies*

Scar, while making his base in the desert: if i can find some cactus we can set us some cactus barriers that would be pretty cool

Me, shaking: some what?

[applester]

Yes, let’s please talk about it.

[ax0l-cake]

Rises the Moon 🌙

[close ups under cut]

I edited this because I wanted to change up some things ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)