#tbh was really expecting an Octavia short

[bohope-chic]

God I hope Blitzø gets a concussion or something and is down for the count for the rest of the season

[jenkinsknope]

I am a v big fan of new year’s resolutions. I genuinely feel a sense of renewed energy/optimism as a year ends and a new one starts. I tend to make a load of resolutions, but be very chill with not achieving them completely/letting some fall by the wayside. But I do also try and keep them in my mind throughout the year (my 2020 resolutions were stuck on my wardrobe). This year I think I might do a reflection at the end of each month on tumblr to try and keep me on track.

1. Learn (some) Yoruba - both my parents are Yoruba, but for various reasons I never learnt the language growing up. No progress on this one, but I’m waiting for a specific course to open up, because I know expecting myself to do learn on my own schedule is unrealistic. 

2. Do a Park Run - I’ve completed couch to 5k (running for half an hour), but I still haven’t actually run a 5k and I think I just need to make myself aim for that distance. Park runs aren’t on at the moment and even if they were I wouldn’t go for it atm. I just haven’t really had the energy to do much running this month/I’ve gone v slowly. My last half an hour run came in at 3.71km. 

3. Read every day in January - (with the aim of kickstarting consistent reading throughout the year). I’ve been really good at this one! Apart from days where I had a migraine and just one day when I couldn’t be bothered, I have read every day. Currently reading Kindred by Octavia E Butler and it’s the first book this year that’s properly gripped me. I’ll probably aim to read every day in Feb.

4. Write three things in my gratitude journal every day in January - I have managed to write at least one thing every day (or more recently made a note on my phone), which given how rough I’ve felt at some points during this month, is good enough for me. Tbh I’m not really feeling this one atm, but I’m going to stick with it, because I think it does have benefits. 

5. Dealing with people at work one (give people the benefit of the doubt, think about the long term goal rather than short term reactivity when someone annoys me etc). I think I’m doing a medium amount at one? I’ve done a better job at accepting that the nature of my job means that sometimes people won’t follow instructions/things will go wrong and I just need to let it go. But I think it could be embedded more. (Writing this out makes me realise that it’s a fairly basic skill to develop, but I am still pretty early on in my #career). 

6. Be more honest/vulnerable with people. I had one conversation that I was particularly happy with and in general I think I am doing a good job at this one.

7. Finish that short story. I have done zero writing this month, but it’s definitely been a ‘I’ve spent at least 50% of the time just trying to keep my head above water’ month, so I’m cool with that. Really hope I do some writing in Feb though. 

8. Don’t date until July. Tbh given the whole pandemic and me not wanting to virtually date, this one has been pretty easy. But the real point of this is  I want to spend some time working through some of my shit around intimacy, which I think I’ve kind of done as a ‘background’ mental task, but not in the concentrated way I want to. 

9. Do more history stuff - I still really miss the way history was such a big part of my life when I was studying it. (I also volunteered for 18 months for a Black British history project when I finished uni, but had to stop because I kind of burnt out). I want to record oral history interviews with my mum and read more history books. Haven’t done either yet. 

Most on track? 3, 6

Get rid of any? Nope, only January 

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Six Pokémon AU

some teams are missing Pokémon because the site i used has yet to update with the Sword and Shield Pokémon so bear with me

Catherine of Aragon

Nicknames and genders: Tempest (female); Queenie (female); Gryffindor (male); Scarlet (female); Bishop (male); Foggy (female)

Tempest is Aragon’s partner. She’s raised her ever since she was a Shinx. They’ve been together all through Aragon’s run as queen.

Scarlet is like Aragon’s second-in-command. Aragon got her as a gift when she was just a Litleo and evolved her into a Pyroar. She and Tempest are inseparable.

The first Pokémon Aragon caught after reincarnation was Queenie, who she just...vibed with. She really liked the Vespiquen’s aura and wanted to add her to the team. And she did!

Gryffindor was named by Cathy, if you couldn’t tell

Anne Boleyn

Nicknames and genders: Bandit (male); Splendid (female); Hokey Pokey (female); Frisk (male); Screech (female); Booboo (male)

Bandit is Anne’s partner. They met when Anne was still very young. He comforted her when she moved to the kingdom and kept her safe.

That being said, Bandit is fiercely protective of Anne

Anne, during a show: And now, Screech!!

Screech, at max volume:

*screeches*

Anne: That’s my girl!!

At least one of her Pokémon are dancing with her

Jane Seymour

Nicknames and genders: Lady (female); Honey (female); Morgana (female); Jewel (female); Nessie (female); Sire (male)

Lady is Jane’s partner.

Lady lost her baby, so she doesn’t have a little Kangaskhan in her pouch.

So she was really protective of Jane when she got pregnant because she didn’t want her human to lose her baby, too.

What a shame that it wasn’t the baby that was lost

Lady stayed alive for a little while after Jane’s death and took care of Edward until her passing.

Honey and Jewel were found together by Lady and Jane when they were just a Sewaddle and Ralts. Jane and Lady raised them and evolved them, so they’re all really close.

After reincarnation, Honey and Jewel got reunited with Jane and Lady. It was very heartwarming

Sire is Jane’s big boy

She loves him so much

Anna of Cleves

Nicknames and genders: Pixie (male); Livewire (male); Ruby (female); Umber (male); Camelot (male); Atlas (female)

Pixie is Cleves’ partner. They became a team when Pixie was a Herdier.

Cleves had several other dog Pokémon, but, unfortunately, Livewire and Ruby were the only ones who made it through reincarnation.

None of her horse Pokémon came back, so when she saw Umber trotting around the nearby park and causing disruptions, she knew she HAD to have him

Camelot is just a babey

He’s heavy but Cleves carries him anyway

Cleves loves Atlas’ attitude

Where does she store all that sass

(Her claws)

Katherine Howard

Nicknames and genders: Duchess (female); Magnificent (female); Dazzling (female); Tulip (female); Wolfie (female); Octavia (female)

Duchess is Katherine’s partner and never evolved because Katherine lowkey was afraid she wouldn’t like her anymore once she becomes a Purugly.

Which is fine for Duchess tbh not evolving doesn’t bother her

After Katherine’s death, Duchess was sold, but died because she stopped eating due to grief over the loss of her trainer.

Them reuniting was very tearful.

Also yeah all of Katherine’s Pokémon are female

She can’t wait until Octavia evolves

Catherine Parr

Nicknames and genders: Clearsight (female); Mastermind (genderless); Dreamcatcher (male); Solar Flare (genderless); Sepia (female); Ballerina (female)

Clearsight is Parr’s partner. She was already a Noctowl when they met, so Parr didn’t evolve her from a Hoothoot. Still, they’re very close.

Parr thinks Mastermind and Solae Flare are very intriguing, so she does a lot of research on them.

She isn’t big on Pokémon battles, but Sepia is her strongest Pokémon

Dreamcatcher sometimes will just curl up on her head and it’s pretty damn cute

Ballerina likes to be out during performances so she can dance

Bessie

Nicknames and genders: Flower (female); King (male); Kohga (male); Caliburn (female); Ombré (female); Ophelia (female)

Flower is Bessie’s partner. The two met when Bessie was being sent to London for Aragon’s wedding. The carriage was destroyed during a storm and the Absol had sheltered the young eleven year old. Since then, they’ve been a team.

Many people were scared of Flower, since Absols were said to being bad omens. Some say she’s why Aragon could never deliver a live male heir.

Aragon let Bessie keep Flower around because she was so weak for her young lady in waiting and Flower wasn’t hurting anyone, despite the suspicions.

However, when Bessie was exiled, Flower and Bessie were separated and never saw each other again, even after Bessie returned to court. Flower had been culled.

Their reunion was even more tearful than Katherine and Duchess’

King was one of Henry’s Pokémon, but Bessie still took him anyway. Because she believed he was good, despite his trainer.

He has some anger problems, but is truly a good Pokémon and is fiercely protective of Bessie.

He will literally inspect any new Pokémon that get added to the team.

Ombré and Ophelia were a buy one get one free deal. They came together as a Venipede and Stunky. Someone at a train station was literally fucking selling them from cages and Bessie felt so bad for them, so she immediately took them in.

Caliburn hatched from an egg that Bessie was given. Bessie didn’t think she had the ability to take care of a baby Pokémon, but she absolutely fell in love with Caliburn the moment she hatched in her arms.

During shows, Bessie would have to leave the egg unattended and that made her so anxious that the baby might hatch without her there.

And since baby Pokémon get attached to whoever they see first, this little Axew thought Bessie was her mama 🥺🥺

Bessie cried

Maria

Nicknames and genders: [not listed- Raboot] Blister (female); [not listed- Rillaboom] Jambu (male); Hamlet (male); Vertigo (male); Borderline (female); Bentley (male)

Both Blister and Jambu are Maria’s partners. She got them both when her parents surprised her with them when she was a little girl and they were just a Scorbunny and Grookey.

She caught Hamlet shortly after reincarnation because he was just so funky!!

She got Bentley through trading and thought he was just So Cool

Borderline is a little distant, but Maria is trying to bond with her more often

Maggie

Nicknames and genders: Azura (female); [Not listed- Amped Toxtricity] Alto (female); Fidget (female); Bo (female); Fathom (male); Mangrove (male)

Technically, Alto is Maggie’s partner. They’ve been together ever since she was just a Toxel.

Then Maggie met Azura and the three of them were a team.

But after Alto evolved into an amped Toxtricity, she and Maggie grew distant, since Maggie had been expecting a low key Toxtricity. And Alto attitude was very hard to get along with.

Speaking of attitude, Alto sometimes straight up refuses to obey Maggie. Like, Maggie tells her to use Thunderbolt, Alto will use Venshock. Or she’ll come out of her PokéBall without being sent out or called.

Because of this, Maggie is trying to keep her inside her PokéBall as much as possible.

After Anne’s death, Bo came along. And Maggie, who was still mourning, thought this ghost type was the spirit of Anne, hence her name.

Joan

Nicknames and genders: [Not listed- Sobble] Indigo (male); Hyde (female); Tenor (male); Grandeur (male); Fatigue (female); Glorybringer/Glory (female)

None of these six were Joan’s original partner, who didn’t seem to come back after reincarnation.

However, in her second life, Indigo is Joan’s partner. She found him out in the cold behind the theater.

When she first came across Tenor she KNEW she needed him.

She caught Hyde while away on a trip because it was cold outside and Hyde just looked like she was freezing. So she snuck her into her hotel room and fed her and when she woke up the next morning, Hyde was curled up with her on the bed. She knew she had to have her on her team.

Except Hyde causes some problems because the two heads fight a lot. And when they fight, it’s vey loud. So Joan gets even less sleep.

So she caught Fatigue! And everyone warned her about Drowzees and Hypnos, but Joan ignored it. She loves her Drowzee!

Fatigue does her best to help her trainer sleep.

Then we got little Grandeur! He was brought back to life from a fossil.

He’s just a babey 🥺🥺

And, finally, Glorybringer! Glory for short

Joan first saw Glory being mistreated by her trainer during a performance (he was mainly pulling on her ears) and confronted him about it after the show.

Glory was so moved by her helping that she ran all the way back to the theater a few days later to find Joan after escaping her trainer.

Joan immediately took her in

Joan never makes Glory battle unless she wants to. Usually, she’ll just hold her and they’ll watch.

(Glory loves being held)

[thereisnoneedtocallmesir]

RULES: Answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you want to get to know better.

I was tagged by @asobsesions

1. Name: Jessica

2. Nickname: uuh lets see which I can remember, jess, no!jess, PLP, grumpy, jessie and those are probably the main ones

3. Zodiac: cancer

4. Height: 174-175 cm so about 5 foot 8

5. Languages: oh geez I’m gonna need to know how fluent ya gotta be for this. I’m practically fluent in dutch and english. I’m supposed to be good enough at german to be able to study in germany BUT THAS DEFINITELY NOT THE CASE so like just accept me being able to follow along the general gist of written and spoken german and gimme 20 minutes per short thang in a room with 3 online dictionaries if you want me to write or speak german. Ooh and I’m supposed to be able to speak mediocre french but I can sometimes get the general gist of it if I read french and y’know thas good enough. (Also I’m working on learning the fictional language Trigedasleng from the 100 but I am no were near able to actually speak teigedasleng yet)

6. Nationality: dutch

7. Favourite season: anything but fall, ooh wait for the last years the entirety of fall, most of winter and half of spring have been almost exactly the same weather-wise as fall… ooh well

8. Favourite flower: I don’t got one

9. Favourite scent: cinnamon rolls

10. Favourite color: red or blue

11. Favourite animal: penguins, or polar bears, or turtles, or panda bears, or dogs, or ferrets, or meerkats, I CAN’T CHOOSE OKAY

12. Favourite fictional characters: lexa and octavia from the 100, ginny weasley from harry potter, P much all female characters from ATLA tbh, aaand my brain stopped being able to remember more

13. Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: hot chocolate

14. Average sleep hours: anywhere from 0 to 10

15. Dog or cat person: prooooobably a dog person

16. Number of blankets I sleep with: rn it’s 2

17. Dream trip: AAAAAAH, it’d include visiting my grandmother in washington dc fo sho but aside from that AAAAHHHH

18. Blog established: like somewhere in 2016 I think

19. Followers: 446

20. Random fact: I perform really good at school when it comes to english. Like some of my classmates did “bilingual school” for 3 years where almost all their classes are in english and after those 3 years you continue with english at the level they expect at proper universities in england, so those classmates ARE PRETTY DARN GOOD AT ENGLISH but I almost always out perform them. I also recently took the anglia exam at the highest level possible, masters/C2 level, and passed with merit. The thing is though THAT I AIN’T PUTTING IN THE EFFORT, ENERGY OR BRAIN CELLS WHILE ON HERE FOR ANY LANGUAGE. So yeah you feckers have to put up with my typo’s, grammar/spellings errors, “close enough” translations, absolute dumbfuckery while winging human language, brainfarts from a brain without active braincells, and a lot of “ENGLISH IS A LIL BITCH” and I’m just as bad when it comes to dutch. Also, I may have forgotten my point while typing this but I don’t feel like coming up with something else

I tag… not 20 people cause jesus 20 is a lot y’know. Okay so if you want to and can I tag @ravenclaw-has-claws @nerdie-faerie @one-moreminute @theclaireelyse @sarcastic-anxious and @whats-the-magical-fruit (I may have forgotten the url of yer main blog okay)

[orasurana]

The 100 episode 6x08 pt3

Remember when commercial breaks were only 2 minutes

Raven stop caring about Abby you deserve better

I’m super interested in Josephine’s past. I keep thinking about the diner in her mindspace where the guy killed himself in front of her. How that’s what she can’t face, even hundreds of years later

Diyoza is one of the most interesting characters and played by an amazing actress. She needs to make it out of there. Also these effects are really cool

ANOTHER COMMERICAL BREAK?! we have like 3 minutes left in the show. Tbh the 100 would be better as a Netflix show we binge once a year. No commercials, and the short timeline of each season would feel more fitting. But then I know a lot of people would be able to watch it so this is fine I guess

Thank you for finally calling out the primes awful idea of body snatching Wanheda. Russell started this war. He’s gonna get what’s coming to him.

I didn’t actually expect Abby to go through with it. Idk why, she’s been a monster for a long time now

New Kane is ripped

Next episode is gonna be awesome, but we have a week break in between episodes and it’s gonna be unbearable

Octavia’s butterflies, Bellamy saying“I won’t let you die” *side eye emoji*

[sometimesrosy]

I wonder how Clarke's hair will be this season. Some people think that because elizas hair is long now that maybe c will be too. And that makes sense with how it will reflect that her character is growing and that she will mirror how Harper's hair was in season 5. I just like the symbolism of her hair reflecting how she's feeling. Do you think if her hair is long that it will reflect Clarke from season 1?

No. I think she’ll have the same hair as s5 Clarke. There might be flashbacks, or there might be alternate reality Clarkes who have longer hair. If my theory of there being a Clarke heda in the flame is correct, then we will certainly have a Clarke who has the same hair as season 1-2 Clarke, so then she’ll have long hair. Because when Clarke was in the COL, that’s the hair she had, even though the real Clarke had the ragged lion’s mane hair.

But the Clarke in the real world will maintain the bob. I think her hair will be less damaged though. It won’t look so fried, over bleached or crimped. Because I think that was a representation of how she felt irradiated and damaged. The little bit of red she had in s5 was also a representation of the effect of being separated from her people. It did affect her. So that will be gone, because she’s back with Bellamy now and getting back with the remaining 100. 

If real Clarke has long hair in s6, my guess is it would be in the finale, at the very end, with another time jump tag, like in season 4 and season 5. We’d need 1-3 years for her to grow out the bob into something like what she’s wearing in paris right now.

I got excited to see her long hair again, but I don’t think we can actually predict anything about the show by her hiatus hair style right now. Look. Eliza’s hair got damaged in playing Clarke. They bleached it too much. By s3 I think it was fried. She wore wigs for the really long hair, but that bob was hers, and I remember the first time I saw her, Eliza, with Clarke’s s4 hair, I gasped and said to myself, “omg why is her hair so over bleached and damaged? why did they do that to her?” and I think the answer is because it was a stylistic choice for the character. The costumes are not really designed to put attractiveness first, but to show character. And I think that’s a strength, not a flaw. And damaging Eliza’s hair for Clarke’s character is, I think, akin to asking an actress to cut off her long hair for a dramatic character change. Like they did with Tati for Gaia, going pixie and blonde. TBH, I think that was meant to be Marie. It would have made total sense for Octavia to chop off all her hair and either go bald or go blonde as a way to separate herself from her past as a human being, someone who loved. But I think Marie refused to make such a drastic change. JR said that he had a dramatic idea for her hair at SDCC before they filmed s5, and Marie looked scared. And then she had the same hair but a little shorter. Tati had the dramatic cut, but it made less sense for her character, she was a tie to the past and tradition, why cut her long hair? :/

I think Marie should have done it. Not only would it have been better for her character, it might have been better for her career. Tati got a good role when she got a pixie. It happens a lot, when beautiful women cut off their long hair, and then all of a sudden they stand out from the crowd and get a lot of attention. But then, I’m biased. I love pixies and have gone from long Galadriel hair to short boy cuts more than once. I support chopping off your hair.

So. Where will Eliza go next season? It’s picking up right after s5, so I expect we’ll see her with the same length hair but it won’t be crimped anymore. They might make it seem less white blonde and more golden blonde, a little bit back to the princess era hair, but short and loose like free and reborn Clarke. Unless we’ve got some significant time lapse happening, though, her hair will have to stay short. 

[dillydedalus]

what i read in april

in which i read two (!!) 5-star-adjacent books and also defeat my nemesis thomas mann 

the paper menagerie & other stories, ken liu

impressive collection of (mostly) scifi short stories with some fantasy elements. liu is particularly interested in historical/collective memory, historiography, textmaking and textuality, and the importance of stories. my favourites were the bittersweet title story (feat. living origami animals), an alternative history story about the construction of an underground tunnel between japan and america, and the last story, in which time travel becomes tied to politics of remembrance. some stories are not as strong, especially an honestly boring take on AI/voice assistants/surveillance, but overall these are really good, especially in how they approach SFF from asian perspectives. 3.5/5

der zauberberg/the magic mountain, by my nemesis thomas mann THE EVIL IS DEFEATED!!! after 1.5 months i finally finished the magic mountain & honestly.... i really liked it. literally all that happens is that a sweet young fool called hans castorp goes to a mountain sanatorium in switzerland to visit his cousin for three weeks and then.... just stays there for 7 years even tho he ISN’T REALLY ILL (which is both incredible dumbassery & incredibly relatable). up there he hangs out with a lot of people, has lots of conversations about politics & philosophy, falls in love w/ someone, some people die, some people leave, hans takes up skiing, everyone becomes obsessed with seances & psychoanalysis & whatever else for a time, there’s duels, and most of all, thomas mann is like HEY TIME IS WEIRD AM I RIGHT??? and it is! it is pretty weird. things i didn’t expect: a) it’s honestly pretty funny, b) i had several feelings (’als soldat und brav’), c) i kind of knew what the ending was going to be but still i was. distraught. ANYWAY. sometimes.... books that are classics.... are really quite good. 4/5

city of dragons + blood of dragons (rain wild chronicles #3-4), robin hobb i really enjoyed this series even tho i think these two are not as strong as #1-2. the central characters & relationship dynamics are great, i was happy to see malta back, and i loved the new plot points here (trader conflicts! hest coming to the rain wilds! most of all, chassim and the chalcedean women’s liberation front!!!) BUT i think all of these could have done with a bit more space; it all feels crammed together at the end & not really satisfying. 3.5/5 for both these books, series rating 4/5 

the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, douglas adams like, it’s funny. maybe i was not in the mood, but funny doesn’t carry a book. 2.5/5

remembering babylon, david malouf (uni) this book is really good but it is also exactly the kind of book you read in a seminar on postcolonialism, which is what i’m doing. it’s set in a small australian settlement in the mid-19th century, where one day a strange man appears who looks like a “savage” but claims to be a ‘british object’. it turns out that he was marooned as a child and joined a native community, and his presence and strange liminal status (’the white black man’) disturb the entire community. it’s all about questions of assimilation, indigeneity, whiteness, and who owns the land, and it’s very very good, well-written, evocative of the australian landscape, dreamy and i’m probably gonna write my paper on it & end up resenting it a lil bit. 4/5

a canticle for leibowitz, walter miller jr. post-apocalyptic monks in the desert preserving knowledge!!! i ADORED the first two parts of this with all my heart (the first set 600 years after the nuclear apocalypse in a new “dark age”, showing the canonization of leibowitz, engineer-turned-protector-of-knowledge; the second 600 years later again, when during the “renaissance”, conflicts arise between church and secular scientists), the third part (a new nuclear/space age w/ mutual destruction threatening) i liked less, especially when it abandoned the themes of cyclical history, the danger knowledge presents to humanity but also its value, and the process of science and culture rebuilding itself from the atomic ashes for a digression on euthanasia, but i still loved a lot about it, particularly the monks sent to human colonies on other planets (”remember this earth... never forget her - but never come back” made me cry). it is very steeped in catholicism (obvi) which i don’t have much of a connection with but i actually loved how the book talked about religion. on the whole, i genuinely, genuinely loved this, loved francis illuminating a blueprint for 17 years, loved benjamin/lazarus (?), the apocalypse being reframed in biblical terms, loved the melancholy & despair over humanity destroying itself again and again, and the mad mad tiny hope for peace somewhere, some time. i will read this again for sure. 4.5/5 

machandel, regina scheer perfectly fine multi-perspective novel about 20th century (east) german history, all revolving around the small village machandel (a lower german word for the juniper tree). it incorporates some interesting perspectives/topics you don’t necessarily see a lot (forced laborers from eastern europe, euthanasia programs during the third reich, a sympathetic look at the promises & failures of the gdr) and it’s a pleasant read but it didn’t resonate with me in any special way. i’m more interested in scheer’s new book, which is literally set right around the corner from me. 3/5 

wild seed, octavia e. butler sooo this is a afrofuturist-y science....fantasy (??) book about two immortal beings, doro (spirit possessing bodies) and anyanwu (healer & shapeshifter) & their complicated relationship over about 200 years. also involving a magical selective breeding programm, changing your gender, slavery of different kinds and a whole lot of babymaking. it’s interesting&unique&very immersive, but not really octavia e. butler at her best imo. i think my next butler will be xenogenesis. 3/5

kokoro, natsume soseki early 20th century japanese classic about a young student and his mysterious mentor. very quiet and slow but still a good read. don’t have much to say about it tho - i’m probably missing a lot of cultural context. 2.5/5

the merchant of venice, willy shakes (uni) tbh i skimmed most of the scenes shylock wasn’t in bc in this house we stan shylock & no one else, but also like why would anyone sign away a literal pound of their literal flesh as a bond for money you don’t EVEN NEED fuck you antonio. 

shylock is my name, howard jacobson (uni) the hogarth retelling of merchant. i’ve read this before & thought it was clever & sharp re: the play & shylock, but ultimately sexist & gross. i still kind of think that but i liked it A LOT more this time around; it’s really the best of the hogarth series (that i’ve read) in terms of actually engaging with & deconstructing the play rather than just retelling it in a modern setting and it does it in a really smart & thoughtful way. everything not about shylock is ridiculous and farcical but that’s really the point - all the characters beside shylock are the worst and already were the worst in merchant. still not happy about the sexism but: 4/5

the complete maus, art spiegelman honestly it really just is that staggeringly good and given the amazing panels about beckett (x), i’m not going to say much more. if you’re interested in the graphic novel (not really novel bc it’s not fictional) and can deal with the subject matter, just like. read this. predictably, my favourite part was the beginning of maus ii, where art (post-publication of maus I) reflects on what he was doing and why (and why mice) and deconstructing the central conceit from within (see the panel linked, where everyone’s wearing animal masks and he wonders whether mentioning housepets will ruin everything). 5/5

[yiangchen]

Have you ever likes Octavia like in any of the other seasons?

I mean, she was never one of my favorites but yeah of course! One of my favorite things about this show was the Blake sibling relationship. 

Basically, imo Octavia was actually a really compelling character in the first two seasons. She went from being this helpless little girl to learning how to fight, and even though I still thought her journey to becoming an incredibly skilled fighter in such a short amount of time in s2b to be a bit annoying, considering the grounders have been training all their lives, I could let that one thing slide.

I could let it slide because unlike in s3 and on, she actually /did/ develop. She was self righteous as fuck, of course, but by the s2 finale, she took the first step in learning that not everything is about her. Being Indra’s second was very important to her, but she chose Bellamy over that. She sacrificed something she wanted for her brother – the one who has spent his entire life being there for her. And it was amazing!! God, I still get chills when I rewatch 2x16 and Octavia says, “I’m not going anywhere without my brother.” She had come so far!! And in that moment, I was so proud of her.

It was such a turning point in their relationship and her character, much like how the s1 finale and into s2 was a turning point for Bellamy. He had learned to let her go and began to understand that she is her own separate person who can care for herself. And with this freedom and distance, Octavia was essentially able to “come back to” Bellamy and their relationship when she was ready.

In other words, the Blakes had a fucked up relationship due to a shitty situation they were forced into as children, but by the end of s1 and 2, they were in a good place. Both had taken strides to fixing their relationship, Bellamy by learning to let go and Octavia by learning that a relationship is a two way street.

And for s3, I had such high hopes for the Blakes and Octavia as a character. The writers had a character with so much potential.

But then they threw it all away. 

Instead of having Octavia’s arc in s3 be about learning to take responsibility for her actions, she really didn’t have an arc at all imo. Because all she did was /regress/. She somehow became even more hypocritical. And tbh, her entire attitude towards Lincoln was disgusting in s3a. The grounders literally had a kill order on him. Also, the grounders had just left her people – the 100 – to die in the mountain only three months prior, which forced her own brother to commit GENOCIDE. 

Basically, she was so intent on finding a family with people (the grounders) who DID NOT WANT HER that she couldn’t be there for the people who ACTUALLY DID love her. 

SHE DIDN’T EVEN SHOW UP TO GINA’S FUNERAL !!

Despite all that, I did tolerate her for most of s3. Right up until she drugged Bellamy, chained him up – preventing him from saving Lincoln – and then beat him bloody for what happened to Lincoln.

For me, 3x10 was the point of no return for Octavia. Punching Lincoln in s2 was gross, but it didn’t continue after that. She didn’t have a pattern of physically abusing her loved ones yet. Then 3x10 came, and she made it a pattern – became a full on abuser.

And it only went downhill from there. Next she abused her mentor Indra. Then Ilian, the man who almost right after she hit him, became her lover. And during all this, her abuse of Bellamy continued. She told him he was only alive because he was her brother and she allowed him to live. Flash forward six years and she has a cult threatening his life 24/7 and has told him she will end his life herself if he steps out of line.

It’s a cycle with her. One that imo can only be broken with her death. 

Once an abuser, always an abuser.

Sorry for going a little bit off track there. To answer your question though, yes. I did like her. But then the writers trashed everything redeemable about her in s3 and 4 in favor of her becoming “badass” (in quotations because abusers are not badass). And even though the narrative is finally recognizing her as a villain in s5, it doesn’t erase all the excuses the writers made for her in previous seasons.

And like, as much as I criticize Octavia for things other than abusing her loved ones, the unaddressed abuse really is my main issue with her. 

If the writers had executed the abuse storyline well, if Bellamy had learned he didn’t deserve the beating, if they had recognized Octavia as an abuser, I would have been able to tolerate her on my screen through the entirely of s3 and 4. 

And I’m being 100% honest with you. It was the writers expecting me to like her that really turned me off. 

[the100oneshots]

Unexpected Turn - Bellamy Blake Imagine

A/N: hopefully I did the request justice but it’s kind of a prolonged version I think.

Reader x Bellamy Blake

Words: 1,994

Warnings: like 2 swear words i think, a little bit of smut but like only a tinsey bit I'm talking not much after a make out tbh

“At least I’m trying to do everything I can to keep everyone safe! What have you done? Ey? Sat on your ass all day complaining!” He spat as his face turned red and his eyes bulging. His hair is ruffled more than expected due to the constant running through with his fingers. He didn’t want to argue, but ever since you two met you’d clashed in every way possible.

The tension in the bunker was thick and could be cut with a knife. He blamed you, for getting you both stuck in the bunker during the thunderstorm. It was in no way shape or form safe, for either of you to return back to camp. Every tree looking the same, every path being smudged and vision blurred by the rainfall. 

“I complain because all you and your ‘boys’ do is make a mess of the place and help ruin any chance we have of survival. Just because you act so high and mighty doesn’t make you entitled to advocating what is best for these kids.” His face was hard and his mouth in a flat line. Both of your chests were heaving and eyes never tearing from the others line of sight.

“You decided the moment you saw me you weren’t even going give it a chance. You really want one of these kids in charge? They’re teenagers.” He rebutted and although you knew what you said next would hurt, in the meat of the moment, you blurted it out.

“Don’t act as though you care about any of them. All you came down here for was Octavia and look where that got you.” It was silent and you knew you hit a nerve. You were shocked, and more so disappointed in yourself for mentioning family, being fully aware that you were in no position to go that far.

You knew he had grown to care about these kids. Sure he had come down for Octavia but he had gained something much more. Many of the delinquents looked to Bellamy for guidance. With a rocky start though, he did know everyone and made sure everyone was comfortable. His ongoing battle with Octavia was no where near your business and definitely a weakness for him, one you used to your advantage.

Your mouth opened as if you were to say something, but you kept closing it unable to say anything remotely audible. Bellamy just nodded his head, you could his eyes were glassy and you were regretting everything that had come out of your mouth. “Bellamy, I-”

“Forget it.” You could hear him try to suppress his sigh. “We’re in for a long night, find somewhere comfortable.” He wiped his nose on his jacket as he walked into another part of the bunker you took refuge in. 

You sat staring out the small window that you managed to uncover in the wreckage of what this bunker was. Looking outside you saw the wild winds and wet greenery of the dreary landscape. It was silent, only breathing could be heard and when anything bashed against the outside metal.

“It reminds me of the ark a little bit, don’t you think?” You said, then turning your head to see Bellamy and waiting for a response. He had his back and head resting on the wall, his legs perched as his knees were held up by his foot. His line of sight looked up to the door you’d both enters through, drenched. He was itching to get out. 

His eyes switched to you for a mere few seconds before slowly glancing back to the door. You pouted a little looking back outside, continued with a sigh. To be fair, you probably deserved it.

“I’m sorry.” You blurted out, arms tense and eyes scrunched up. It wasn’t that it was painful for you to say sorry, you needed to. It was the reaction from Bellamy you were dreading. Your apology just swirled into the silence that laced throughout the atmosphere. It didn’t go unnoticed, but the silence didn’t leave.

“I didn’t mean it.” You continued again, although it seemed pushy, it was sincere. “Drop it (Y/N).” He sighed, running his hands over his face. “No I won’t drop it.” You got to your feet and settled next to him. He hadn’t moved for what had been like hours.

“I hurt you and I’m sorry.” You apologised again, not being able to sit still until he accepted it. “It was in the heat of the moment and I can’t take it back but I wish I could. I really do. You’re a great leader and it was stupid of me to pick a fight with you in a matter that doesn’t involve me at all. I’m so very so-”

This time he didn’t interrupt with a shout, nor did he walk out. But through your apology he wouldn’t stop looking at you and he knew your sincerity when you attempted to apologise the first time. 

It was an interruption that neither of you really saw coming. Yet, Bellamy’s fingers held your cheek as your body buckled under the affection and the pressure of his lips on yours. 

Your instincts took over and your arms went to wrap around his neck as you pulled him closer. It was slow and it was something you never had really thought of before. But as it was happening you didn’t want it to end. 

Yet as you moved closer to him, he pulled away. It was silent for a moment, and you could tell your cheeks were probably flushed but you didn’t care because in front of you was something you never realised you wanted, but now needed.

“What?” You chuckled a little as Bellamy wouldn’t stop looking at you. “You talk too much.” He smirked as you just let out a small laugh, your head falling to his shoulder. It was a bit weird and a bit unnatural, but comforting in a strange way. 

“Why’d you kiss me?” You asked, sitting upright waiting for an answer. A new wave of vulnerability made the exchange more personal. There was no denying that there was always some tension between you and Bellamy. You had always written it off as a hook up at most, but sitting in front of him now, there was potential for something more.

His eyes were different, his expression softer and you were seeing him in such  new light. Any opinions of him you had previously had been thrown out the window and it was as if you were looking at him now with fresh eyes.

“To shut you up of course.” He shrugged off with a smirk. “Oh yeah? Then why haven’t you done that before when I’ve screamed at you in the middle of camp? Ey?” You questioned him when a mischievous smirk and a playful glare. “What? You want me to make out with you in the middle of camp?” He raised and eyebrow leading you to laugh.

“Didn’t think you’d make out with me anyways.” You admitted, looking down at your hands as you began to pull back, but Bellamy caught them making you look up to him. It was silent again, causing your stomach to turn in knots, nervous somehow of the outcome. “We should probably get going.” You said breaking from his touch and grabbing your pack. 

“The storm’s over, the camp need supplies, they need you, uh, yeah so.” You scratched your head and cleared your throat, trying to be as less awkward as you could.

“Okay.” Bellamy nodded, gesturing for you to lead the way. 

You felt like you had made a fool out of yourself. Ever since that night Bellamy and you had barely even had a conversation. If it involved the camp obviously Clarke would drag you into it to see if Bellamy’s plan had holes, but you didn’t even bother. Your reply was practically a ‘yeah, great,’ and you walked out of the drop ship. 

Bellamy had noticed the awkwardness in it too. Every time he approached you you ended the conversation with short replies and left. You’d been kicking yourself over it for the longest time too.

You didn’t expect the night to play out like this though. Surprisingly, you hadn’t seen Bellamy all day and thought that maybe today would be good considering it wasn’t filled with dodging the ‘king.’ All those hopes fell when you walked into your tent to see the tall figure in the middle of the room.

“Bellamy?” You quizzed, very confused. “Hey.” he said turning to you, his hands in his pockets. “What are you doing here?” Your eyebrows were furrowed, you feet seemingly rooted in your stance.

“I don’t actually know, if I’m being honest.” He shrugged, but his hidden smirk told you otherwise. “Alright, well, figure it out or leave because I’m tired.” You sighed running your fingers through your hair.

“I wanna talk about the night in the bunker.” He said only seconds after you moved to take off your jacket. It caused you to freeze. “What about it?” You gulped continuing to remove your shoes.

“You just have seemed off since we came back. You went funny after it.” He mentioned ever so calmly. “Funny?” You asked a little shocked. “Well yeah, maybe because we just had a screaming match and in an attempt to apologise you just decided it was good time to make out. Who wouldn’t go funny?”

“You kissed back though.” He pointed out, his tongue only slightly peaking out of his mouth resting on his bottom lip. Your blush crept only slightly onto your cheeks as you turned back to face him. He was right in front of you, and you knew you were in for it.

“Your point?” You stared blankly at him trying desperately to mask the flips that were in your stomach. “Means you wanted it as much as I did.” He smirked as his arm began wrapping around your waist, lightly squeezing.

“How badly did you want it Bellamy?” You whispered, the proximity between you two almost non-existent. “As much as I want it to happen again.” There was a pause. 

It felt like time had stood still and in the entirety of what this new world was, it was only the two of you. Silly based on the fact that you hadn’t even thought of Bellamy in that way romantically until a few days ago.

But again, this time when you both met halfway, it was different to the first time - more passionate - but the same desire was there. 

You hands again wrapped around his neck and what surprised you the most was the cheeky ass grab he snuck in causing his tongue to sneak in, definitely not unnoticed. You walked backwards until he had you propped up against the water canister. His hands roaming up and down your torso, his body trapped into between your legs.

A bang was made as your legs dangled off the water canister but it still didn’t have the ability to break the two of you apart. What did though, was Clarke yelling through the fabric of the tent. “(Y/N)? Are you alright? Can I come in?”

“No!” You yelled as you scrunched up your face eyes closed. Bellamy let out a small laugh into your neck as he began kissing parts of that area. “I’m changing, what’s up?” You yelled out in response, trying your hardest not to moan under Bellamy’s touch.

“I heard the bang?” She almost posed as a question. “Oh that. I-I just dropped my bag on the water canister. Nothing else.” You tried to reason whilst fighting the urge to succumb to Bellamy’s touch.

“Oh, okay.” She yelled back, not convinced.��“Yeah, sorry about that. Night Clarke!” You didn’t even wait for a response hoping she’d just leave as you lifted Bellamy’s face back to be level with your own reattaching your lips to his.

[octcvia-blog]

[ zoey 101 vc ] are you ready ?? helo my dudes --- it’s your trash queen rach and this is my sweet cinnamon role octavia. when i sweet i mean like .. the girl makes sugar look like salt. does that make sense ?? probs nOT. anywhoot, i’ve been wanting to bring this muse to a group for approx 456789 years bc she’s a fave of mine. without further ado --- check out that read more for some added info on my smol child !!

( troian bellisario, cisfemale & she/her ) › › did you just see octavia lockwood? she has been in d.c. for twenty-six years now, and i heard she is a florist. pretty surprising, considering she is twenty-six. then again, i hear she is very compassionate & manipulable, so i’m not that shocked. rumor has it she is stuck in an abusive relationship, but who knows if that’s true. all i know is people call her the pristine.

[ TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH, VERBAL/PHYSICAL ABUSE ]

prepare to be depressed™ bc honestly o deserves better. 

soOOoo !! ya girl here grew up in a pretty middle class home, maybe leaning more toward being that little bit wealthier than your average middle class resident but that’s not entirely important. 

her momma is a florist who owns a string of small stores all across dc, while her father is a lawyer. it was said that momma lockwood was the only person who could ever break christopher lockwood’s stoic features into a bright smile --- something rarely seen by anyone. and honestly ?? octavia is the same, she can make even the grumpiest fuckers smile bc she is made of literal sunshine. 

anywhoot, this smol child had an older sister --- tisby, whom she ADORED. i mean, o would literally do ANYTHING for tisby, she was her ultimate idol and just ... she looked up to her so so much. 

long story short, ya’ll know i’m about to hit you with that good ol’ [ imagine dragons vc ] P A I N. so lets just say, one particular icy night, plus tisby driving the roads, plus drunk driver .. i mean it doesn’t take a genius to do that math.

octavia was literally just .. distraught, and tbh she still kinda is ?? it’s been something she could never get over, losing someone who was one of the biggest parts of her, losing her literal best friend. 

although she was heartbroken, octavia was too busy putting everyone else’s feelings before herself to take time to mourn --- she convinced herself to take care of her parents after the accident, after all they had lost their daughter. 

really that’s a big clue to octavia’s personality like .. the girl just puts fucking e v e r y o n e before herself it’s actually rly unhealthy at this point. 

since o considered her sister like ‘the star child’ of the family, she took her loss as a now void she had to fill. despite the fact she was intelligent, a good student, and a generally good person --- octavia felt the need to study harder, to do better, a constant pressure on her that she had made up in the first place. after all, no one expected anything of her, especially not with the ridiculous expectations she set for herself.

flashing forward a couple of years, this lil angel somehow bumped into a cop one sunny afternoon; unaware that this would be a story she’d tell over and over a year later when the two found themselves engaged. after all, he was perfect --- with his impressive job, kind eyes and warm, welcoming heart.. what more could you ask for ?? 

so here we go and i decide to torture my smol again bc .. sike joke is on her mr. fiancee doesn’t stay that sweet lil soul. 

it starts with smol little things like.. ‘you’re not wearing that dress out, are you?’, or blowing up her phone when she’s out and doesn’t answer the first time he calls. eventually, small things evolve to much more damaging, to the point where one little slip up as simple as spilling some wine while pouring him a glass with trembling fingers results in the bottle being flung across the room and brusied skin. 

here’s the kicker... this bitch is still with him. [ places hand on forehead ] i knOw OKAy. but.. ya girl is too soft n easily manipulated and just ?? terrified ?? so she’s staying with him for now.

i think ?? that’s basically all on my smol angel ?? is this the worst intro ever ?/ you BeT. however, that shouldn’t stop you from plotting with me okAy. lowkey, kinda want her to accidentally have an affair bc even tho she’s pure and would be so ‘wE canT I haVe a FIaNccE’ she deserves love lowkey. loWKEY INSPIRED BY THIS PLOT. emotionally just.. the s m o l e s t? her outfit aesthetic is basically spencer hastings like ?? not sorry. lowkey used to hella believe in god and still goes to chruch at times but considering all the bad that’s happened in her life she’s kinda ?? iffy about everything now. albeit, she still always can be caught wearing a lil gold cross around her neck.. probs is always drinking herbal teas, feeds stray cats 10/10, apartment is covered in flowers and millions upon millions of books. i hope that ?? kinda covers the basis of my smol child but please!! plot with her ?? pls. lowkey feel like when the day met the night — p!atd describes her in terms of she’s the moon tbh ??

[scodelariokaya]

Do you think Clarke had already subconsciously fallen for Bellamy when she was with Finn and Lexa? It seems like both Finn and Lexa had questioned her about this in an indirect manner.

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer:

The attraction has been there since season 1. That’s for sure. I mean look at her face. They were openly flirting in this scene.

And Finn saw that too.

I think she started having feelings (in a romantic sense of the word) for Bellamy in season 2. She asked specifically if Finn and Bellamy made it. Twice. She put Bellamy on the same level as her love interest. (Did she ask for Monroe? Sterling? Octavia? No.)

She ran through the camp just to get to him and the hug… even Bellamy himself was shocked. Octavia noticed (”There’s something I thought I’d never see.” + her facial expression was also very telling). Damn just rewatch it. Pay a special attention to Clarke’s facial expressions. Compare Bellarke hug to Clarke/Octavia hug - there’s a massive difference.

Clarke still felt guilty for closing the door on Bellamy and Finn. That’s very evident in that scene by the fire in 2x05.  Bellamy offered the understanding to her. “It had to be done.” He made it very clear that he’s not holding it against her, that he understands why she did it. He reassured her she’d done the right thing. And that’s something Clarke needed at that moment.She was kinda on her own in the Mountain. She was suspicious and trying to get out while the others were trying to convince her they’re finally safe. Then she espaced with the knowledge she left them all behind in MW (which is not what happened but I’m pretty sure Clarke thought something like this). And then she reunited with Bellamy and suddenly she was not alone. She got her partner back. 

And then in 2x05-2x08, they were back in their co-leaders mode. They were so in sync…. Since this episode (meaning 2x05) Bellamy is the person she trusts the most. The person who understands the burden of being a leader and carries it with her. She started falling for Bellamy in these episodes. She still had feelings for Finn but she was not exactly “with Finn”. And tbh she wasn’t really with Finn since the moment Raven’d landed on the Earth.

The narrative backs me up in 2x09. Clarke just killed Finn and one of the first things she said to Bellamy in this episode is “I can’t lose you too.” Again, Bellamy is put at the same level as the person she’d said “I love you” to just a few hours ago.L ater in the episode L/xa (sorry guys but thi will show up in the tag anyway since the anon used the correct name) and Clarke had a conversation about leadership and L/xa confided to Clarke a story of her lost lov. Clarke needed to stop the pain. She wanted (and needed) to become a strong stoic leader and make sure she will never have to feel this way again so she built the walls around her heart and emotionally shut herself off. “Love is weakness.” And what is the first thing Clarke did? She sent Bellamy away with the words “I was being weak. It’s worth the risk.” This is Clarke trying to be like L/xa - strong leader devoid of emotions. And what is Clarke’s last line in this episode? “Love is weakness.” Hmmm interesting. So yeah I think she started realizing her feelings for Bellamy in 2x09 and that’s one of the reasons she sent him away. 

She realized her mistake pretty fast because basically all episodes of 2b are Clarke being constantly worried about Bellamy (2x11 is the perfect example but it’s literally in every single episode). Yet she never stopped believing in him. She never doubted him. She always believed he would succeed in his mission.

Even L/xa saw it and called Clarke out on her feelings for Bellamy. “You care about him.” “I care about all of them.” “Yet you worry about him more.” FUCK EVEN L/XA SAW IT.

“…besides, we lost contact with Bellamy.” she’s blinking the tears back again.

And their reunion in the tunnels in 2x16? Clarke is speechless, she’s just staring at Bellamy in wonder, blinking the tears back. She’s absolutely stunned, she can finally breathe again, the relief is written all over her face.

Moving on…. she didn’t tell anyone else but Bellamy that she’s leaving (maybe expect for Monty). She didn’t even tell her mother. Anyways, did she kiss Monty goodbye? No, she didn’t.

Now for the second part of your question. I’d like to start by saying that Clarke probably spent plenty of time thinking about the delinquents and Bellamy in particular during those 3 months between s2 and s3. Now I’m talking about platonic Bellarke. She thought of him as her partner, friend, co-leader. She thought of him as a person who pulled that lever with her.

And then she finally saw him again when he came to rescue her. He caressed her face and hair and she’s absolutely stunned. She just stared at him with wide eyes. She begged for his life, her voice breaking. She would do absolutely anything - even sacrificing her own life - for him (don’t forget that she didn’t know Roan is taking her to Polis, she thought he’s taking her to Nia who wants to kill her). This scene kills me every damn time because it’s the least platonic shit I’ve ever seen. And Roan noticed (and as the season went on, he kept on noticing).

Then everything changed because Roan brought her to Polis and Clarke was forced to play the role of Wanheda, She became a political figure. War was about to happen and Skaikru was in danger. She didn’t trust L/xa at all (for a good reason because obviously L/xa betrayed them before) so she had to stay to make sure L would keep her word AND SHE WASN’T READY TO COME BACK. NOT YET. That’s why she decided to stay in Polis in 3x03. If you watch the final Bellarke scene closely, you can see that the conversation with Bellamy wasn’t easy for her. When he walked away, she had to take a moment to blink back the tears and take a deep breath before she was ready to turn around and be wanheda again.

Ever since 3x04, she was falling for L/xa. But at the same time, she never stopped having feelings for Bellamy. It IS possible to love two people at the same time. However, I believe Clarke didn’t realize the true nature of her feelings for Bellamy.

One of my favourite scenes ever is definitely their argument in 3x05. I analyzed it in details so you can check that out. Clarke was stunned. She was absolutely crushed. But that scene also kinda woke her up. She was on her own for 3 months, she was isolated from her people in Polis (which is the main reason I’m always saying she was a terrible ambassador) and this argument finally showed her the reality and the consequences of what’s been going on in Arkadia in her absence. She realized she’s not the only one who’s been hurting. She saw how broken Bellamy was. And her being Clarke, she believed her they could fix it all. Together. But she said a few words that triggered Bellamy and he did what he did (again, I talked about it in detail a few months ago).

After the debacle in Arkadia, she focused on playing the role on wanheda again in order to keep her people safe. She was getting closer and closer with L/xa and eventually she fell for her…. and we all know how that played out. After Jake, Wells and Finn, she lost another person she loved. At that time, that was all she could think abou. Everything happened so fast and then there was the flame, Titus, Murphy… she didn’t have time to think about anything, let alone her feelings. She was overwhelmed. Her feelings for Bellamy were still buried inside of her, without her realizing it.

The Bellarke reunion in 3x11 is interesting for many reasons. Clarke’s expression can be interpreted in many ways but I think she’s mostly shocked she sees Bellamy, relieved he’s alive and relatively well (she had to blink to make sure he’s really standing there in front of her) but she was also scared. She didn’t know where they stood because the last time they saw each other he handcuffed her and she tazed him.

3b was about finding their way back to each other and Bellamy realizing his feelings for Clarke. Yes, I think that at this point Bellamy is aware of his feelings for Clarke. Clarke on the other hand is not but the feelings are definitely there and have been since season 2. Those feelings never disappeared and I hope we’ll get to see Clarke bringing these feeling back on the surface and becoming aware of them.

[thelegendofclarke]

Do you watch the 100? If so, I hated Pike. They tried to give him some sort of redeeming character arc/backstory, but I wasn't buying it. They expect us to believe he murdered an entire Trikru host and didn't come to his sense of right vs. wrong ONCE?? Fr, I'm glad he's dead. #vengeanceforlincoln... Of course, if you don't watch the 100, everything I just wrote is an unidentifiable mess for you,,, sorry about that...

Haha thank you Anonny I do watch The 100, so this makes perfect sense! I have complicated thoughts/feelings on Pike tbh…

1) I agree that the Trikru army massacre was pretty fucking appalling imo. I will just never be able to see past the fact that Skaikru killed an entire army who was there to help while they were sleeping. I think it was probably the sleeping part that bothered me the most, and the fact that they knew the Trikru army was supposed to be there to help them. Idk, it will never sit right with me, it always makes me incredibly uncomfortable no mater how I try to think about it. I know that some people may consider that too much of a black and white position of ~moral absolutism~ that ignores the intricacies of the situation or something like that. But that’s just where I’m at in my life, as far as massacres go… I am just never going to be a fan. 

2) That being said… I think what the show wanted to do/tried to do/could have done with Pike vs. what they actually did with Pike were two completely different things. I think Pike and his arc suffered from the same big flaws that at I think a lot of s3 did: it was rushed and therefore just really underdeveloped, and the writers expected us to make intuitive leaps with out giving us enough information at all. 

First of all I think the audience was supposed to be waaayyy more upset about Mt. Weather being blown up than it generally was. (JRoth even made that STUPIDLY asinine comment about Mt. Weather being like Skaikru’s 9/11). But the thing is we didn’t KNOW anyone in Mt. Weather except Gina, and even then we had only known Gina for a really short time.

And I think Mt. Weather was supposed to just be yet another thing contributing to Pike and the rest of Farm Station’s feelings on the Grounders, but that backstory was also really rushed. We were given snippets of Farm Station’s interactions with the Grounders (only Azgeda as far as we know) through the story about Monty’s dad being killed trying to save some children from being taken/killed by Grounders themselves. But we just heard it second hand from Monty’s mom and Pike as a story. That would have been SO much more effective if we would have gotten to see it as a flashback or something like that. It was still really sad, but I don’t think that alone was enough for us to really understand the trauma that Farm Station had experienced at the hands of Ice Nation. Another thing that could have REALLY added to that could have been the slave story line from earlier this season. There were just so many elements that could have really emphasized the cruelty Farm Station had experienced from people that they generally just considered “Grounders.” And I also think that distinction of just Grounders vs. the specific clans was another issue that wasn’t fully explored… 

We as an audience also understood that it was Azgeda acting alone, and none of the other clans, that blew up Mt. Weather. BUT, there was really no reason for the people from Farm Station to be able to make that distinction at that point. They hadn’t had any experience with the clan system/the 12 clans like The 100 or even Kane and Abby had. To Pike, to Farm Station, a grounder was a grounder was a grounder; they were ignorant to the differences between the clans and how they could operate both as a whole and as individual groups. And for them, Grounders were dangerous and not to be trusted. But instead of seeing it this way, the show more or less gave us Skaikru massacring an innocent army of Grounders that was there to help them in their sleep.

BUT, even with all this plot and background, at least in my opinion, it would explain PIke’s reaction to the Grounders, but would not excuse his actions toward them. Even if Pike didn’t trust the Grounders, there were people around him who did, people who had more experience with them who he could have listened to. And not only that, Pike knew that Lexa was going to send an army to protect them. 

And also I agree, Lincoln’s death was yet another narrative element that I think solidified disliking Pike for me. But I also think that one of the (not so finely tuned imo) points of Pike’s character was to show how out of place the extreme crime and punishment system from the Ark was on Earth. There was no need for the Ark’s ruthlessness and unforgiving approach to the law. There was no need to execute everyone over 18 who committed crimes anymore. It was uncomfortable for us to watch while they were on the Ark and it became even more uncomfortable once Skaikru was on Earth.

I also think another thing that was going to cause a lot of people to dislike Pike from the outset was the conflict he caused among the delinquents. First and foremost for me was influenced he seemed to be having on Bellamy. It was like 3 seasons worth of character development for Bellamy went totally down the shitter and he reverted right back to his “us vs. them” mentality from season 1. This obviously led to a lot of conflict between him and 4 of the people closest to him- Octavia, Miller, Kane, and Clarke. Not only that but it caused a divide among many of the Delinquents with Miller, Octavia, and Harper on one side and Bellamy, Monty, and Monroe on the other. I think it was really hard for a lot of people (me included tbh) to watch characters who we had seen as a tight, unified group be ideologically and physically divided like that. 

So yeah, I think Pike’s character could have been way more nuanced and understandable than what he ended up being. But, I’m still not entirely sure that it would make me like him more. 

send me your most hated characters/celebrities and i’ll tell you if i hate them too or not

[aish-rai]

Oscars 2017: In Review

Oscar time is here again!

Once again, I’ve watched all the films in the Best Picture, Best Director, and major acting categories. I’m not one for long reviews, so I’ve broken it down into mini reviews that will hopefully help you decide who to root for tonight...or not. Who cares. This is Trump’s America, we’re all on our way out anyway. Jkjk.

So, without further ado....

Arrival

This is, by far, my favorite of all the Best Picture nominees. This year, the debate has been about the importance of certain films...the message a film sends, what place it holds in our society. On the surface, a film centered around an alien invasion doesn’t seem as though it would merit much surface importance. But in times of increasing globalism, followed by xenophobia and an overall intolerance for things and people we don’t understand, Arrival highlights the importance of communication, patience, mutual cooperation, and an open mind. At the heart of it, it’s an incredibly personal story about the relationships we form and the decisions we make: what choices would dictate your life if you knew what the outcome would be? What’s the value of the journey versus the destination? Arrival asks us all these questions, but protagonist Louise Banks (a linguist, which it turns out is a SUPER FUCKING COOL job) only answers for herself. The rest of the film is a reflection on humanity, and in times like these, I think that’s just as important as any other “message” film.

Moonlight

Don’t misunderstand me: this is a story for everybody. We can all get something out of it. But it’s a particularly important, incredibly personal story about black masculinity, sexuality, and identity in an environment of poverty and desperation. A queer black man will certainly connect more to this movie than me, a straight white woman. However, with that being said, I still consider this a near-perfect movie. It is in no way inaccessible to the rest of the audience. The way the film has been broken down into three stages of Chiron’s journey to self-discovery allows the story to unfold perfectly. The first third sends the message, “You don’t have to know who you are yet.” By the end, it asks, “Who are you? Have you figured it out yet?” And everything in between is beautiful. The three actors who play Chiron (Alex Hibbert, Ashton Sanders, and Trevante Rhodes) are revelations. The fact that the kid from Manchester by the Sea pulled a nomination but Ashton Sanders didn’t is straight up offensive to my sensibilities, tbh. But Mahershala Ali is the real heart of the film as Juan, a local drug dealer who takes Chiron under his wing. His time in the film is brief, but he leaves an overwhelming impression. Also keep a look out for a magnificent performance by Naomie Harris as Chiron’s mother, as well as a color palette that quite frankly took my breath away. This is a film that sends a social message, yes, but it’s also a beautiful story of a personal journey and one that needed to be told.

La La Land

This film has been the frontrunner for quite awhile now, and as all frontrunners do, it has garnered quite a bit of criticism. Aside from just being the frontrunner, I feel like a lot of the criticism stems from the fact that it’s a happy, upbeat film in a year of otherwise somber stories. For some reason, we devalue the importance of joy in our films. I have to be grateful for the criticism, though, because the first time I saw LLL, I only “liked” it. Upon rewatching it, I’ve grown to love it. There’s so much more to it than “white man saves jazz”. That completely disregards the themes of nostalgia, the way the characters hold on to the past and hold themselves back. It’s very much a film that pays tribute to the American musical, while still managing to subvert many of its tropes and modernize the genre. The choice to have two lead actors who are neither singers nor dancers was a great one, in my opinion. Mia and Sebastian are two normal people, not extraordinarily talented but extraordinarily passionate about what they do. And without giving too much away, the ending, while polarizing, was perfect for me. The final montage alone makes it worthy of the praise it’s receiving. Ryan Gosling is good, but perhaps not Best Actor material here (I would have much rather he had been nominated for The Nice Guys). But he’s the perfect foil for Emma Stone, and it’s really her film. The Oscar is hers to lose at this point, and I know that bothers a lot of people, but again, they’re really devaluing the work that went into her character. Not everyone could have done what she did with this role. She nails the comedy, the melodrama, the understated moments, and the big musical ones as well. And really, the film itself is just a technical triumph (which, no shit Sherlock, is how it managed to get so many nominations...so stop whining). The cinematography and the production design are breathtaking, and something we haven’t seen on screen in a very long time. And honestly? Fuck it, we need some joy in this joyless time. Stop fighting it. Singing and dancing doesn’t make it frivolous, but it does reveal how short-sighted some people are when it comes to films.

Lion

First of all, if Sunny Pawar goes missing, don’t look at me. It’s not my fault he’s so goddamn adorable. He stars as young Saroo in the first half of Lion, which tracks a little boy who finds himself aboard a non-passenger train headed across India. He ends up in Calcutta, unable to speak the language or tell local authorities where he’s from. He’s eventually adopted by an Australian family, and grows up in a loving home. But as an adult, he struggles to piece together his journey and find his way back home. This movie will definitely reduce you to a puddle of tears, so keep some tissues handy. However, I did have some issues with it: mainly, the tonal difference between the first half (which I loved), and the second half, which felt weirdly cerebral, until it reverted back to tear-jerking melodrama at the very end. And when given the choice between the melodramatic and the cerebral, I will choose melodrama every time. Despite that, I will say Dev did a great job with portraying adult Saroo’s struggles, his wrestling with his identity and his privilege, his being torn between two lives and two families. Nicole Kidman is also spectacular as Saroo’s mother, and it’s a bit of a pity she wasn’t given more screen time. The scene where she tells Saroo the story of how and why he was adopted is a standout.

Hidden Figures

This is one of those films that tells you an important fact about history that you wouldn’t have otherwise known, and you’re grateful to have been introduced to the story, but when you break it down it’s a bit of a paint-by-numbers film. Don’t get me wrong, it’s one of my favorite films of the year, and it has infinite repeat value. It makes you feel good, and as I said, we can’t underestimate the importance of movies that manage to do that. And Taraji, Octavia, and Janelle are amazing, both individually and as a threesome. But this is a movie for the audience, not for the Oscars. The women were pathbreaking; the film isn’t. But that’s okay! If you watch it, you will undoubtedly love it to pieces, but it’s up against stiff competition this year.

Hacksaw Ridge

On paper, the story (a true one) is beautiful. It’s about Desmond Doss, a conscientious objector who, despite refusing to take up arms or harm another man for religious reasons, becomes a WWII medic who saves countless lives. Andrew Garfield gives a lovely performance as Doss, who walks a fine line between goofiness, earnestness, and pure grit. The issue I had with this movie was a personal one: it’s obscenely gory, to the point where my stomach turned (and I’m not usually bothered by these things). The problem is that I can see why the gore was necessary...because hey, that’s war! People’s faces get blown off, they lose limbs, bodies are used as shields. You sort of have to see the graphic violence to understand how important it is that Doss never once picks up a rifle to defend himself. His commitment to peace and healing, juxtaposed against such a violent environment, is truly moving. But I just can’t deal with the level of gore, sorry. If you’re like me and you’re thinking about watching this film, I’d suggest fast-forwarding through the war scenes and focusing on the aftermath. It’s definitely worth watching, just...don’t be surprised if you have an urge to vomit at some point.

Manchester by the Sea

How many different adjectives are there for overrated? I’d heard so much about this film going into it, and perhaps expectation is the root of all disappointment, but all I could see were one-note performances slapped with the term “internalized” to justify them. Lucas Hedges is a serviceable young actor, but hardly the discovery of a lifetime. And then there’s Casey Affleck, who has one good scene in the whole film but is somehow still considered a frontrunner for the Best Actor Oscar. Michelle Williams as the protagonist’s ex-wife is good, but it’s certainly not her best and her competitors were better. The film is a misery fest, which would be fine if you didn’t spend the entirety of it waiting for one person to react to their situation like a normal human being instead of, you know, a sociopath. I think this is a case of confusing a very sad, very moving story with a good film/good performance. Casey’s character is extraordinary...his performance, however, is not.

Hell or High Water

I don’t have much to say about this movie. The premise is intriguing, it’s a bit of a modern day Bonnie and Clyde, and it does reflect upon the new American reality. But jfc, is it boring. Chris Pine gives a great performance, and I enjoyed the banter between Jeff Bridges and Gil Birmingham...but you can honestly skip this movie and lose out on nothing except the overwhelming feeling that you have dust in your shoes.

Fences

This movie could have been brilliant; it could have been the best of the year. It’s touching, it’s human, and it’s thought-provoking. Unfortunately, they forgot they were making a movie and chose to shoot it exactly like the play. That means that we pretty much never leave the characters’ backyard. It means that all Denzel Washington’s character does is TALK, and talk, and talk some more. And everyone knows that silences are just as important as dialogue. Denzel is fantastic here, but the choices he made as a director hurt the film. Thankfully, Viola Davis is here to save the day. Her confrontation scene alone is enough to warrant her the Oscar. It’s just a pity she’s in the wrong category.

Captain Fantastic

SO underrated! This movie gained no traction leading up to awards season, but it truly is something different onscreen, and you can rarely say that about any movie. Because you’ve probably never heard of it, I’ll quickly summarize: a radical father of six children living off the land is forced to return to society after his wife commits suicide and reflect upon the life he has built for his family. It sounds depressing, but it’s not at all. It’s genuinely moving, with moments of absolute hilarity. You will be laughing one minute, crying the next. Viggo Mortensen gives far and away the best performance among the male nominees, and it’s a shame that with the campaigning system, he’s not going to get any recognition for it.

Elle

I’m torn between wanting to rip this movie to fucking shreds, and not wanting to dignify it with too much ~discourse~. I’ll only say that it offended me deeply as a woman and as a sexual assault survivor, and it was not a story that needed to be told. The complexity of womanhood, of sexuality, and of responses to trauma are all worthy themes to explore...and Elle managed to do that it the worst way for it. Just because they’re speaking French and the story is edgy doesn’t make it any good. It’s absolute junk. and I love Isabelle Huppert, but she left me cold in this role and as much as I’d like to see her be recognized for her body of work, I’ll be really upset if this is the film that does it for her. This film deserves nothing. Au revoir, assholes.

Loving

This film tells a story we’re all vaguely familiar with, Loving vs. the State of Virginia, the landmark case that legalized interracial marriages on a federal level. What we don’t learn about is the people behind the case, the Lovings. Unfortunately, the execution of this film was a bit “Lifetime Movie of the Week” for my taste, but Ruth Negga and Joel Edgerton give beautiful performances. If you want to see internalized done right, look to this film, not Manchester by the Sea. Ruth is luminescent onscreen, and is able to communicate so much with just her eyes and body language. The same goes for Joel, who was even more impressive and unfortunately got royally screwed out of an Oscar nomination. Watch it not because it’s pathbreaking cinema, but because it’s a piece of history that needed to be humanized.

Florence Foster Jenkins

Look, I am a sucker for movies about old people. I cried like a goddamn baby throughout this entire film, and I am not ashamed to admit it. There has been a lot of controversy over whether or not Meryl Streep deserved her nomination, and while I too would have liked to have seen Amy Adams get in for Arrival, I wouldn’t call Meryl undeserving. I think the truth is that every performance she gives is worthy, people just get a little tired of seeing her name on the nominations list. It’s become a case of, Well, how is she going to beat what she’s already done? And if you’re looking at it from that perspective, FFF isn’t going to be a cornerstone film in her cinematic journey. But she’s pretty amazing, as she is in everything she does, and I was really intrigued by her character (particularly her relationship with her husband, played by Hugh Grant). What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that people aren’t giving this movie a fair shake. It’s a bit silly at times, and a bit melodramatic, but it’s entertaining and it’s moving. I’d sit through FFF a hundred times before rewatching Hell or High Water, not sorry to say.

Jackie

It’s a good movie, with good direction, good staging, and good acting. So what’s wrong with it? I think what we can surmise is that it’s time to put Jackie Kennedy to rest, literally and figuratively. She’s too singular a person to be portrayed onscreen without the portrayal coming off as a caricature. Natalie Portman (whom I don’t normally care for) gave her all to this role, and still came off looking like Natalie Portman playing dress up as Jackie Kennedy. Jackie was a strange looking beauty with a strange sounding accent. You can dress up as many Hollywood brunettes in her iconic pink suit as you want, but they’re still not going to capture what was so remarkable about Jackie Kennedy. And as much as I love the Kennedys and am intrigued by their story...enough. We’ve seen all this before, multiple times. If you’re going to make a film on them, at least focus it on other members of the family. This particular time in history has been covered onscreen in abundance, and as an audience....we get it. It was terrible, it was sad, it was the death of American royalty, it was a standout moment in our history. Time to move on.

Nocturnal Animals

I’m a bit upset that this movie didn’t make it to the list of Best Picture nominees. Tom Ford is such an interesting director, and this was a strong followup to his beautiful debut, A Single Man. Michael Shannon managed to score a Best Supporting Actor nom, but I truly feel Jake Gyllenhaal was snubbed for a Lead Actor nom. His performance, and the film in general really, walked a fine line between stylization and gritty, violent realism. And the ending of the film is so understated, but still manages to deliver a kick in the gut. Don’t let the lack of Academy love keep you from giving this movie a chance, because it really was under-appreciated this year.

My personal choices:

Best Picture: Arrival or Moonlight

Best Director: Damien Chazelle for La La Land

Best Actor: Viggo Mortensen for Captain Fantastic

Best Actress: Emma Stone for La La Land

Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali for Moonlight

Best Supporting Actress: Viola Davis for Fences