#tbh it really is a double album. it’s two separate albums

[fingertipsmp3]

Finally listened to the anthology songs and they’re so fucking good omg. I don’t know if I can rank them, I just love all of them

[pompousbiscuit]

(Y/N) Meets Zeke Yeager at a Radiohead Concert In the Year 2012 (Yes, It's The King Of Limbs Hour For Sure)

(You-16 Zeke-17 Porco-16 Pieck-17 Colt-16 Yelena- 17)

I don't fucking know why I think of these things, but here I go, this is for all of you Superior-Music-Taste-Thom-Yorke-er- Radiohead-virgins out there B)

The year is 2012, (Y/N) is 16, and the setting is a Radiohead concert almost one year post-King-Of-Limbs-album-drop.

After working for a few months at your first part time job, you were able to save enough cash to buy concert tickets for you and a friend.

The location of the venue is about 2 hours from your hometown, and it's quite the road trip.

Either using your/your friend's car, or public transportation, to make the trip.

Zeke is 17, he's also at this concert with a group of his friends: Colt, Porco, Pieck, Yelena.

You're jamming out to all the hits, swaying your body to the sound of the music just right, and letting yourself go in a way you've only ever done alone in your bedroom.

King Of Limbs wasn't Radiohead's most well received album, but you love almost anything Thom, that droopy eyed bastard, and the other members put out.

Your friend that you came to the concert with is currently on a bathroom break, leaving you to your own devices in the crowded room.

"Separator" plays loudly throughout the concert hall; the drum beat feels like it has made it's way under your skin, and the melodic sound of Thom's voice feels as if it's an instrument in its own right.

Zeke is currently jogging back inside, he had left only for a moment during a run through of "Morning Mr. Magpie" for a smoke break.

(it's not particularly his favorite on the album)

"Separator" is one of Zeke's favorites comparatively, and he might hit himself after if he ends up missing the live rendition.

He sees a familiar slicked back head of blonde hair while peering over the heads of the crowd, and Zeke's relieved to see Porco turn around and wave him over.

Zeke makes a b-line for his friend, trying his best to shove through the crowd as politely, yet firmly, as he can.

Whilst making his way over, Zeke bumps into someone who's almost completely oblivious to his presence, until said person trips over themselves and falls to their feet.

You luckily brace yourself, your palms and wrists making contact with the dirty ground as to protect your face.

Normally, Zeke would most likely brush this off and claim the situation to not be his problem, and most likely continue on his path to his friends.

A change of heart? Guilt for being a catalyst in knocking you over? (as he suspects it would've happened eventually) Or maybe it's because he notices the way your ass looks in your blue jeans.

Zeke can tell a good ass when he sees one, and everybody has an ass to be appreciated after all, no consideration for gender identity or assigned anatomy needed.

Zeke pauses and decides 'ah, what the hell'.

Zeke crouches down and holds his hand out to you, flashing a boyish grin that suits his younger looking face well, as he begins to offer you an apology.

"My mistake for knocking you on your ass, I was trying to get to my friends... Need a hand?"

Zeke half yells this apology, and in the end it's still very muffled sounding due to the loud music.

You are wary of the boy in front of you, being very well versed in all the basic "stranger-danger" rules, the ones your care-taker/parental-figure drilled into you before you left.

But the slight tug of the left side of his mouth, the dimple in his cheek, his shaggy yet soft looking blonde hair, his stupid but admittedly cool glasses that hang low on the bridge of his nose...

He's cute, and you're too aware of the fact to deny his hand that he's offered to you.

You say a "Thanks", only letting yourself look him in the eye for hardly a second, as he accepts your hand into his roughly textured one.

You feel a flush begin on your chest and rise up to your face, ashamed of yourself for practically drooling at the feeling of just a grasp of a hand around your own.

Zeke assists you in rising to your feet, and he can almost feel your eyes tracing his form, taking him in.

He looks rather typical, a dark t-shirt with a faded "Kid A bear" logo printed on it, under a wrinkled rusty-toned flannel with rolled up sleeves, dark denim loosely encompasses his lanky legs that end with damaged and worn low-top skate shoes.

You only realize your hand is still in his own, when you catch the cheeky look in his eye, after scanning back to to his face.

You retract your hand from his, with suspiciously quick retreat, that has him grinning a little wider.

"Name's Zeke, do you have one?"

You can smell his last cigarette on his breath as he talks, you're both in close proximity due to the people around you.

The performance of "Separator" is almost long forgotten at this point, it's now just the background noise to your first conversation with each other.

You shift your weight back and forth to each foot, settling on leaning to your right side, before looking up to answer him.

"It's (Y/N), and it's okay, I was kinda in my own world for a minute there..." You answer honestly, but almost too bashfully, taking the blame for your tumble.

Zeke shakes his head and answers immediately, "No, I wasn't really paying attention to who I was knocking into, but I guess I was kinda lucky that you happened to be my first victim."

His voice has a slight rasp to it, though he's just 17 he admittedly smokes like a chimney.

His words also have an attractive cadence to them, you can already tell he's a smart ass by the way he's immediately putting the moves on, but you find yourself not really caring all too much.

Zeke starts again, "I also get like that though, in my head I mean, 'specially with "Separator"..."

You nod along and begin to talk to him more about your interest for the track, hardly noticing as the minutes roll by, and with the song changing into "Little by Little".

The both of you exchange words and information throughout the next song, like your ages, preferred albums, what other concerts you've been to.

Zeke completely forgets about his friends in the minutes he's conversing with you, and the same happens with you, until Porco loudly appears with Colt behind Zeke.

"Dude! I waved you over like 10 minutes ago! What the hell Zeke? You're dragging your ass and the other's are-" Porco's sentence cuts off as his eyes drift over to you, understanding the hold up.

Porco turns his head to Zeke and receives a glower from the taller boy. Whilst wearing a shit eating grin, Porco gives Zeke a curt nod and a slap on the shoulder.

"Whatever, just shoot me text in a few man,"

Porco's eyes catch your your for second, as he raises a hand for a quick sayonara,

"Nice meeting ya'."

Zeke pushes up his glasses as he shakes his head in annoyance and heaves a sigh.

As Porco gestures for a confused Colt to follow him back to the rest of the group, you catch eyes with your own friend.

They give you an apologetic glance but then notice Zeke near you, they hold up their hand and toggle back and forth between a thumbs up and thumbs down, silently asking if Zeke's presence was a bother.

You give a thumbs up, which they respond with a double thumbs up, as they make their way over to a group of people and easily start to blend in.

You turn back towards Zeke and offer a smile, finally free of interruptions, as the song ends and fades into "Lotus Flower". Commotion erupts throughout the crowd, as the majority cheer for one of the most favored songs.

Zeke offers you a smile as well, and shuffles a step or two closer, before beginning to speak again.

Ending it there! If I make a follow up then that'll be over here when the time comes: Part Two

I actually... I don't even... Why, that's all I have to say, just why???

Thanks so much for the notes on my previous post! That was my first time hitting over 100 notes!

Tbh... "The King of Limbs" is on the same level as "In Rainbows" for me, soz if you're offended by that statement dawg. Lmk your opinions!

I am Zeke Trash #1, and you're watching Disney Channel

EDIT:

OK, IN LIGHT OF THE NEW EPISODE HERE IS SPICY TEENAGER ZEKE

FUCK IT UUUPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! imagine this bitch ass in some skater slouchy grungy garbage, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

zeke liking radiohead [zeke playlist] -> MONKE

[tenyacore]

omg hi!! can i get a bnha and hq matchup :>

im a girl, my pronouns are she/her, im bisexual and im latina so i speak spanish ! im 16 so pls just students. im a sagittarius and infp 9w1, my personality is really sensitive, im really emotional, a little pervy tbh; and shy when im first meeting someone; im touchy like i love to hug, take hands or whatever that involves touching with the people i trust. im really insecure abt my body too :{

i loooove reading manga and listening to music, i collects both manga and cds so i like going shopping to music stores and just listen to paramore, dreamcatcher or skz. i also really like dancing since i learn the coreographies fast and my body is very fluid(? yep, hope this is enough <3 i love ur acc pls have a nice day!!

homie.... are we.... the same person? we fr are the same person- im a girl, bi/pan, latina, infp, really sensitive/emotional, touchy, pervy, shy at first meeting and insecure, i collect manga and albums, love paramore/emo music and kpop (siyeon loml).... we are clones of each other with diff zodiac signs (im a cancer) aaaaaaa also tyty you have a nice day too!!

YACHI

✿ hear me out,

✿ best girl with best girl makes double the bestest of girls ok

✿ understands you're shy meeting new people as she is too and loves getting to know you more

✿ both of you become more and more comfortable with each other and the boys all notice

✿ they also notice the two of your getting more touchy with each other, sometimes holding hands even before you two got together

✿ sweetest gf ever, whenever you're feeling upset or something happens to you she's instantly by your side, trying to help you feel better

✿ CUTE SOFT KISSES!!! all over, not just on your face, reminding you she loves and adores all of you in the cutest way

✿ enjoys watching you dance!! loves seeing you do something you like and she gets to admire her gf <33

✿ you two go on dates to music stores pretty often, and she likes listening to your music, eventually turning your taste in music her taste in music

✿ loves when you speak spanish!!! she also likes learning new words in spanish

✿ your first kiss happened after she asked if she could kiss you in very broken spanish

it was another day watching the boys practice, helping your grateful girlfriend with her manager duties. that had slowly become an almost daily occurrence, to the point that the boys thought of you as their third manager. yachi seemed different that day- nothing too worrying, just slightly off.

you saw her whispering into kiyoko's ear, followed by kiyoko nodding at her. she seemed to be trying to hype herself up, then going back to helping the boys. the rest of the practice went on just fine, her behavior less antsy, and soon you two were walking home together.

everything seemed back to normal, until you to arrived to the point in your walk home where you two separate. saying goodbye to her, you squeeze her hand, but instead of her letting go, she held your hand tighter. gulping, she looked at you and whispered something you didn't quite catch. "what?" you tilted your head. "puedo... be- besarte?"(1) she repeated, struggling to form the words. you laughed, pulling on her hand so she would move closer "por supuesto, amor"(2) yachi froze- "huh?" muffling a soft chuckle, you clarify "of course, yachi."

she smiled, before moving to put her lips against yours. you guys stood there for a second after pulling away, before yachi broke the silence "lets go hang out somewhere instead" she said as she led you to your favorite café.

for ppl reading that dont know spanish: (1) can i kiss you? (2) of course, love.

TODOROKI

✿ your love is kinda sweet n soft

✿ although you're touchy feely and he wants to be as well, you both take it slow

✿ its pretty obvious he's not used to affection, or touch, and as much as he craves it, it can be too much, so you both agree to build up to bigger acts of affection

✿ he's always ready to give you a shoulder to cry on if you're feeling upset or overwhelmed

✿ whenever you do or say something pervy he just gets flustered and confused- not really sure what to do or say, but isn't uncomfortable, just confused

✿ i just know this man has an interest in manga. i feel it in my bones. probably asks you if he can borrow your manga on occasion, never returning it in a state any less than how you had left it

✿ always careful, not only with you but with your belongings as well, genuinely feels bad if he absentmindedly folds the corner of a page or finds a new scratch on your cd after using it

✿ always joins you to the music store because he loves your presence.

✿ you know i had to do it.... your first kiss was outside of a music store, listening to paramore's "the only exception"

"i cant believe you've never listened to paramore, you seem at least a little alt, todo." "i am, i know /of/ paramore, just never listened." you two chatted as you exited the music store, having just bought a paramore cd. "here, you're gonna listen now" "you're being a lil stubborn," he started before you stopped him "no no, this is very important" you hand him your phone.

paramore's discography is pulled up on your screen, and he sighs, pretending to be annoyed despite the slight smile on his face "choose a song based on the title and we'll listen to it." you point, before he randomly selected a song. instantly recognizing the song by the guitar. a smile creeping onto your face, you grab his hand "doesnt quite reflect most of their songs, but this one's nice and pretty well known." the longer you two listened, the more the lyrics hit todoroki.

relating to the song, he squeezed your hand. as the song died down and came to its end, he turned to you, pressing his lips to yours in a loving kiss. "you are the only exception, you know?" it was a bit cheesy, but it was a sweet, vulnerable moment between you two that you wouldn't dare interrupt with a joke or a laugh "you are, too."

[filthyjanuary]

Sima tell me every single parx opinion you have. I wanna hear rankings of albums, top 5 off each, demo that should’ve been on an album, favorite interview moment, favorite Awsten tweet, anything and everything u got

oh jesus dgfefgf bailey THANK U uhhhhh okay so like i ranked all the albums two months ago but i’d only been into parx for like 2 months so i’ll tell u which ones have moved up or down.

double dare, even then, was hardest for me to rank so uh looking at this im like... what was i thinking? gloom boys is still That Bitch but maybe not first? i think i’d move 21q and plum island higher because i’ve appreciated them more lately, it follows would swap with gloom boys, MIA would swap with dizzy probably. royal and SFY might swap with 21q/plum island actually just because i’ve overplayed them for myself but im keeping THTTM where it is... this album is genuinely all over the place i think my rankings switch every minute.

entertainment... i think i need to move sleep alone above tantrum as much as it pains me.... sorry tantrum i still love u. otherwise, this feels right, although rare could be higher maybe? idk 3-5 are basically the same in my head. lucky people has also grown on me a bit so maybe it shouldn’t be so low but i also can’t think of anything that deserves to be lower so uh.

fandom still feels right, i’d maybe move reboot/ifywwm above turbulent, and maybe swap nba and eth but.... overall this feels right to me still.

i never ranked the eps so here we go (also i barely listen to AC/B so i gotta remind myself what the songs even sound like so their rankings are probs not accurate sorry dfgefrergfd)

cluster: mad all the time, pink, territory, crave, no capes.

blacklight: new wave, i’m a natural blue, night maps, easter egg, christmas, american history

airplane conversations: silver, they all float, fantastic, i was hiding under your porch because i love you, bones of 92

tbh that was hard, i switched fantastic and iwhuypbily so many times theyre tied i think

OKAY FR UNPOPULAR (?) OPINION TIME, awsten’s starry eyed cover is better than anything on blacklight lol

tbh i dont really have a favourite interview moment bc they have a lot of interviews and the general unhinged energy is great in all of them but awsten’s interview with zach sang is my favourite interview because it’s so thorough? i’m a journalist and when i was in school that was the kind of work i saw myself doing (lol @ reality), so i just love when an interview is detailed AND you can tell the interviewer knows what the fuck they’re talking about AND puts the person they’re talking to at ease. every time i watch that one i feel like my heart grows three sizes. i also really liked those rocksound ones where they had each member do their separate video and pick random numbers for their questions bc i like when otto and geoff get attention,

my favourite awsten tweet is this one because he’s not talking to/about me but also like... me @ me i guess

THE DEMOS HMMMMMMMM FIRST OFF WWDFF SHOULDVE BEEN ON THE REGULAR VERSION OF DOUBLE DARE I AM TIRED OF TURNING TO SOUNDCLOUD

idk if there are demos that yall discuss that arent on the demo album but off 1, noise, glitter times, teenage jealousy and sorry as i’ll ever be.

i want a teenage jealousy release because the song slaps, but also... i WANNA KNOW WHAT THE REDACTED PART SAYS SO BAD.

tbh i get why none of them were released, like i dont have any album songs where im like FUCK THIS REPLACE IT WITH A DEMO SONG, but..... noise and sorry as i’ll ever be are the two i could see fitting into an album most naturally.

send asks so i don’t fall asleep at work

[thunderoad]

Hi , So listened to the album and holy shit🔥 he really came through with those vocals in each song . Would you be doing a song by song review of the album .? Interested in listening what you think .

he SOO DID!! i had been awake way too long yesterday and was just in disbelief over how good it is, but i had it on in the car while i was running errands today, and wow!! thank u sm for asking, here’s my track by track: 

1. heartbreak weather - i rmr texting my friend last night that it was so dancey, which i stand by!! it’s begging to be screamed and jumped along to in the best possible way. i think it’s a perfect introduction to the album as a whole, too; you have the sad undercurrent in the chorus of, ‘all of my life, it was heartbreak weather’ (which is SO sad when u think about it), tempered by the upbeat, uptempo sound. and i love the way that it sets the stage for the rest of the album by invoking the imagery of not just weather but this lonely city, which he really continues to inhabit for the rest of the album! 

2. black and white - perfect wedding song. you can just picture the glee kids covering it while the wedding party dances down the aisle, which is a compliment - you want these moments to be happy! i love how it retains the hopefulness and simplicity of youth in a way that’s hard to capture sometimes without quite becoming schlocky. ‘it’s the way you love, i’ve got to give it back to you’ is all the more startling for how prescient it is in that context! he’s got some GREAT turns of phrase on this album

3. dear patience - when this one started, i was prepared to dislike it because niall’s ballads tend to not quite be to my taste, but then he has that line about how ‘just me and the stars can get lonely,’ which is the BEST subtle tilt of the head to niall’s particular position as a celebrity, you know? it may not have been written with that interpretation in mind, but it’s got a particular achiness that i love. and the vocal duplication or echo that kicks in on the chorus combined with the bridge’s driving rhythm and that spiraling, hopeless cry - oh, it’s excellent. not to mention the strings are gonna KILL live

4. bend the rules - when he started singing in this one, i literally had to stop and wait for dani to catch up to me: that is a bruce impression if ever i’ve heard one! this one feels a bit more like a concept song than the others, like he’s still sort of trying to dial in on what he’s getting at with this very specific feeling of jealousy and mistrust and the fear of vulnerability it invokes. if he plays it live, i think it’ll become quite the showstopper. it’s hugely appealing to the part of me that loves and loves story songs

5. small talk - i lOVE this trend stranger things started of those highly distorted synths generating this sense of unease (’i’m paralyzed’), and how the song slowly unfolds into a foot-stomping barnburner of a song! i used to have this thing about hating when great singers talk-sing because it’s such a waste of talent, and i still do, but the sheer FUN of singing this song back to him at niall’s concerts like a bunch of horny witches casting a spell is going to be SO GREAT. i know it’s ‘slow hands’ big sister, but this song also has some of ‘on the loose’s’ tremendous punch as a vignette. this song would’ve made an amazing single; i can’t wait to sing it in the car

6. nice to meet ya - this is where, to me, the overarching storyline in the track listing really gains ground and gets going! it stands in such an excellent contrast to ‘small talk,’ too, where both are sort of hookup songs, but where ‘small talk’ is about that tete a tete, ntmy is starting to touch on that idea of conceptualizing and mythologizing someone the way you do at first blush. 

7. put a little love on me - my sincerest apologies to niall, but easily my least fav track on the album. his ballads just aren’t my favorite thing! it is a massive step up from ‘flicker’ to me, though, i love the way it dials in on that peculiar moment where the relationship’s over but you’re not so separated that you can’t still imagine what the other person might be doing, and what exactly do you do with all that knowing someone? it is awfully hard to let go. this song strikes me as a really terrific retrospective even as you start to move forward

8. arms of a stranger - not one of my favorites, tbh! i think it’s lyrical ground we’ve already kind of covered and it’s not the most innovative of his musical arrangements, but i still would not go so far as to call it bad. i do love that instead of accusing the other person of moving on too fast, he turns it on himself; ‘now i’m lying in the arms of a stranger.’ 

9. everywhere - i thought this song was gonna be one thing based on the first few seconds, and then it turns on its heel and becomes something quite different, with more of that chanting + slap-kick percussion. it reminds me forcefully of taylor swift’s ‘holy ground,’ which can only ever be a compliment! i love how he’s using different vocal modes in this album to capture different moods; he’s got that almost monotonous chanting to explain the motionless and airlinessness he’s feeling, and it works! he’s definitely gonna want to play this one acoustic at some point

10. cross your mind - the return of his bruce voice!! i love the imagery of immersing yourself in the world of your relationship with someone else. the driving vocals and drums are such a great underline to the lyrics, like he’s trying to provoke someone, finally ready to hear the truth. he’s definitely put a lot of work into his lyric-writing, too, u know? these songs are on the whole just so much wordier than the last album, which is a huge compliment to how far he’s come! i think there’s a really cool bit of both courage and self-destruction in that ‘don’t hold back’ refrain; those things do keep close company sometimes! and his falsetto in this one is just absolutely perfectly placed in my opinion

11. new angel - i lOVE this one in counterpoint to cross your mind - needing someone else ‘to save me from myself’ is a great emotional tether to draw on them between them, and u know, i do think it risks putting a new relationship on a pedestal, but i think the emphasis is more on admitting fault and vulnerability, neither of which is easy! it’s a deceptively complicated song. not to mention jake is gonna fuck up those guitar bits when the fellas play it live!! 

12. no judgement - fun and funky easy listening gold. as singles go, i think ntmy is a little punchier, but i love the lyrics, and i think the offer of absolution is very sweet, very generous. 

13. san francisco - i LOVE this song. in fact, it might be my favorite! i just love the way the ‘take me back, take me back’ refrain works in two ways: take me back to the past, and as a plea to be taken back by someone else! it’s got everything you need for a perfect love song: imperfection (’wish i hadn’t been so cruel’), romanticism (’what we had would never last, but i can’t let go’), the dramatic rainy love confession that doubles as the goal of all stories, which is self-knowledge (’i’m done running from the one that i want so bad’), all nestled in an inexorable groove. 

14. still - sometimes i love the sound of fingertips dragging over guitar strings and sometimes i hate it, and in this case, i lOVE it; it just wonderfully mimics the sound of pen dragging across paper, which is what i think this is, a bit - a goodbye letter. there’s this john donne line about ‘gold to airy thinness beat,’ which is the first and only thing i could think of when i heard how niall chose to sing this one, just on the edge of untenably high and hurting down to the bone. vulnerability is hard to capture and it’s hard to be honest on a pop record, but i think niall manages both beautifully. 

[8circles]

i finally got to see the national live!!

so after 6 years of falling in love with the national, i finally got to see them live yesterday!! this is gonna be super long lmao

since the national never come to my home country during tour, when they announced their tour i booked the tickets without even knowing whether i was returning to manchester or even the uk. so when i got my offer to return i was relieved af lmao. a once in a lifetime opportunity was worth the risk and anxious waiting LOL

anyway

seeing them live was like a whole new world for me. when bryce came out to perform with the opening act (who were very good!) i was so overwhelmed. this guy, part of the band i love so much, was right in front of my face!

(like literally, cause i ran in after getting my merch and managed to snag a place right at the barrier!)

ive watched tonnes of their live performances on video, but nothing prepared me for how great they were. since bryce was right in front of me i ended up paying most attention to him.. but then when hed play the piano aaron took his place and id end up paying attention to aaron... sorry matt, scott and bryan!!!!

of course matt is such a character that hed command your attention some way or another. i did make myself look at scott and bryan at points in time bc i love all of them! i found it super cute how scott and bryan (and at one point bryce) would hold like a shaker instrument and use it when theyre not playing their own instrument. its like theyre always gonna be involved somehow lmao.

at the beginning it felt a little detached compared to the bastille show i went to last year. but i dont blame them or think its bad, cause at bastille’s dan would stand close to the stage while matt prefers to hang about with the band. its just two different performers. it kind of made me think that i was watching the national perform in their own world.. until matt stopped midway through empire line and asked security to help someone.

at that point it kind of hit me that wow, actually we're in the same space! like im not actually watching them in their own world, like im there too! and theyre not in their own space either, theyre watching us too! and of course, how nice of matt to stop because someone wasnt okay 😭 he started all over again once he made sure they were okay. by the end he said "just some problems with dehydration. stay cool!"

and he threw a plastic pint across the theatre and i got some white wine on me. LOL. at another point he threw a red solo cup so hard i think it hit the opposite wall cause there was a super loud sound. then he went on to say "...one day..." during the last song he brought out a bottle of white wine or prosecco on stage but said he said couldn’t open it because it was corked and it was hard to open those on stage with his teeth(!!!) he asked for another bottle and smashed the corked one on the ground. i love drunk matt so much.

bryce is so interesting to watch tbh. he keeps changing guitars lmao. i got so excited every time he brought out the blue one, bc i had a super clear view of his bow hanging from his mic stand and i was like "vanderlyle?????"

in the end they didnt play it, but no matter! they played so many good songs that i cant complain. my jaw hit the floor when they played hard to find cause i wasnt expecting that at all! i kept saying "oh my god" when i heard the chords lmao. it was so beautiful. i remembered the interview where one of the twins said they think hard to find is one of the most beautiful songs theyve ever written. i felt so honoured that i could listen to it live! they also played this is the last time - my favourite off twfm! i think a lot of people in the theatre love that song too! we were all shouting “it takes a lot of pain to pick me up” together. 

of course they played standard classics too. it felt so good to sing along to bloodbuzz and i need my girl. i kind of expected they were gonna play england since it was their first show in england for this tour so when aaron started playing the chords i was super happy. mr november was the best in terms of crowd involvement, you could hear everyone shouting I WONT FUCK US OVER together. conversation 16, too.. everyone screaming "CAUSE IIIIMM EEEVILLLL" was so much fun. slow show and apartment story were so great live as well. singing “SO WORRY NOT ALL THINGS ARE WELL” was so wonderful. during fake empire the twins did the guitar thing as they always do. i was so happy! 

tbh when i was there i mostly felt out of place since most of the people there were white hipsters and they came with their friends/partners so i barely talked to anyone, but singing all the classics live made me forget all of that awkwardness.

the new album was good live too. carin at the liquor store is my fave off the album and it sounded so beautiful live. matt went one octave higher during turtleneck and he sounded so clear. i was actually so surprised at how clear and almost rasp-free he sounded! we shouted “great uncle valentine jester” during day i die, it was so great!  they dedicated apartment story and born to beg to a lady who took care of them while they were in manchester. the opening act luluc came out and sang with them during born to beg. it was beautiful and perfect! ive been falling in love more and more with born to beg with each listen, and the live performance really sealed the deal with how much i love it.

terrible love was the last song off the setlist and it’s my first favourite song from the national so listening to it live was like coming full circle of some sort. during that song (and mr. november) matt went out and leaned over the barriers so that people could reach out and hug him. during terrible love he was super close to me, but i was too scared to touch him cause so many people were clinging onto him already but he was literally right there! he also stood at the edge pretending to fall from the other side. a member of the audience hugged his knees to stop him from falling!

bryce kind of smiled at my general direction at one point when he was setting up his guitar. the girl next to me blew kisses at him, i wish i did or said something too, but honestly i just stood there and melted into a puddle. during fake empire bryce went to play the piano so aaron was on my side of the stage and he waved at my general direction when they finished. a double whammy! matt came over to our side of the stage during turtleneck and screamed the chorus at us. it was so surreal. waiting for two hours outside in the cold and rain was definitely worth the place right in the front.

of course i have a soft spot for the twins, so seeing them live was the best part of my night. bryce (and at some points aaron) being in front of me was a dream come true. it’s no doubt that bryce is fantastic at guitar, but hearing him live and actually picking up the way he plays with my own ears was really something else. not only his playing, but also how he was using all the different guitars and using the mics on them and all the different pedals - it was all like a work of genius. i didn’t really get to see aaron’s artistry since his stuff was on the opposite side of the stage and he played more piano (which was on his side of the stage) but i could clearly see him playing when matt stepped back and let the twins perform guitar together. i caught him smirking at bryce on multiple occasions. i ascended each time. 

it was obvious that bryce was the more shimmery, flashy player when it came to guitar, so i tried to distinguish their styles of piano too! maybe it’s just me, but i think aaron has a deeper sound and bryce has a sharper sound! maybe that’s why they take turns for specific songs. regardless, they were so great, playing together and separately. i admire them greatly since they have so many projects and interests and even though their musical interests differ, they end up intertwining. seeing them live really showed that tbh!

it was the best night of my life. i wish i could be going to today’s show as well, but unfortunately i don’t have the money for that! anyway, everything ive always dreamed of already came true when i managed to stand right in the front and watch the national in all their glory perform live. i never expected to be right in the front - literally at the barrier - but i was! and it was worth the two hour wait in the cold without any food (this was my fault for forgetting to eat before coming, but it was worth it tbh!). hopefully i’ll be able to go for another concert if possible because that was probably the best experience ive ever had.

[splenderai]

detailed hc meme: Golden Pair and multiples of 4

thank you for the ask, and sorry for the delay !! also i won’t just slap down the answers from those super detailed character profiles if there are questions related to the information there bc that wouldn’t be fun haha.

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

I don’t know how much of their kitchen would be off-limits, but I feel like Eiji could whip up quite the tasty dish using just a can opener and a microwave tbh. He’s had a ton of experience cooking for himself and his huge family, and he’d definitely experiment with whatever appliances and food items he can access. Oishi lets him take the reigns, and he’s damn impressed every time.

8. Favorite indulgences and feelings surrounding indulging

Oishi’s not one to indulge often; when he does, though, it’s typically something small and common, like savoring a larger slice of cake or sleeping in an hour or two on the weekends. He’s more likely to spoil Eiji and fulfill the latter’s indulgences, which are many (his favorites are trips to the onsen on their days off, chocolate, and, when they are older, any and all fruity drinks.)

12. Favorite book genre?

For Eiji, it’s absolutely sci-fi, especially books related to space. Oishi prefers detective/crime stories.

16. Biggest and smallest long term goals?

Eiji: biggest - adopt a dog (or three) with oishi ; smallest - get oishi to stop organizing his sock drawer when he’s not looking ??? let eiji wear mismatched socks in peace please

Oishi: biggest - save enough money for a house with a large backyard for the dogs and eiji ; smallest - make coffee as tasty as eiji ?? that guy does some magic with the coffeemaker that just makes oishi’s taste like chalk in comparison.

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

Eiji was a very healthy kid, but he has a ton of scars from his many adventures, which included climbing trees at his grandparents’ house in the country and reinacting famous martial arts movie scenes with his siblings and friends. Oishi was also pretty healthy, especially since there were a ton of doctors around him; he wasn’t born with any illnesses, either.

24. Is there one subject of studying that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

Eiji isn’t the most gung-ho about school, but he thinks math is pretty neat. It just sort of makes sense to him, you know? For Oishi, biology is his thing. He’s pretty good at all sciences, but he finds bio particularly fascinating.

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Aside from one another, Eiji would pick Fujiko, and Oishi would choose Tezuka. As for enemies, Oishi wouldn’t have one; he’s not really into that kind of thing. Eiji’s would probably be Gakuto tbh - there can only be one red-headed, devilishly handsome acrobat doubles player on the court.

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

Oishi doesn’t care too much. He may have a few items he has a particular sentimental attachment to, but nothing more in that respect. Eiji is more of the hoarder who likes to own a variety of objects, like magazines, albums (music and photo), souvenirs, and the like.

36. What makes them feel guilty?

Fighting. Like any relationship, they’ll bicker about small things, but it’s rare for them to get into a heated argument with raised voices and hurt emotions. They’ll need time to cool down alone, but the feelings of guilt are so suffocating for both parties that they will reconvene and reconcile very soon after the fight. On a separate note, Oishi will take the guilt upon himself very often for small things, especially when he doesn’t need to/it’s not his fault.

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Oishi definitely has an inferiority complex, but he sure as hell should not. I feel like he always compared himself and sold himself short to Tezuka as a captain. In my opinion, Tezuka was a pretty crappy captain; Oishi did a much better job in that position, so that boy shouldn’t look down on himself for even a second. What a good. As for Eiji, I’d say he’s neither. He’s confident and knows he’s pretty freaking good at doubles and his particular play style, but he doesn’t have an inflated head about it. He has some insecurities about playing singles (which he’s good at too, though ???) and his stamina, but he’s not afriad to face them and work hard to overcome them.

44. Religion?

They are Buddhists, but neither is particularly religious.

48. How do they express love?

Oh, Eiji bleeds affection. It’s there in the crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he’s smiling so wide that his cheeks will hurt later. It’s in the way he squeezes a little too tight when holding hands, unable to control his brimming excitement. It’s in each little tap he gives, like a cheeky bump of the hip when they’re fooling around in the kitchen making dinner, or a nudge from his shoulder when he’s trying to get Oishi’s attention away from a book, or when he gently knocks their foreheads together when they’ve played a match they were proud of, regardless of the outcome. It’s an expression of love so natural, lacking any thought or planning.

Oishi shows his love in a more direct manner through words or simple gestures. He doesn’t need grand, staged displays and flowery language, really. Every word, every action from him is heartfelt, sincere, and without any hidden or underlying meaning. So, when he gazes into Eiji’s eyes and whispers just three words, there is no stronger and clearer message that could convey his love. It’s a love that is pure, boundless, simple.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

I heard that Zayn had creative differences with his label about IF. Apparently the label didn't like the concept of a double album with 27 songs, as they would have made way more money, if it would have been two separate albums with a year or two in between. But Zayn really wanted to do his thing and get all his songs on the album and that's why it was a difficult era and probably some problems with RCA (although they did come through with the billboard and music videos and stuff like that). But we also know that Zayn suffers from bad social anxiety, which naturally makes promo like interviews and travelling around for gigs or radio much harder - that was probably a sore point with his record label as well. I think the anxiety is also why the tour never happened. As someone with social anxiety as well I know that it's not something you can just turn off, it takes years to get better. On some days you feel totally fine and think you can do it, but then there are bad days as well. Tbh the mere thought of performing in front of thousands of people, who not only judge you as part of a band (whose music you don't even care for), but as a solo artist with songs that are really important to you makes my skin crawl. I can totally understand why the tour never happened and I hope he's feeling better now that he's not as much in the spotlight.

[surveystodestressme]

102.

1.) in the past, i had a bad habit of leading people on. have you ever been lead on? have you ever lead someone on?[intentionally or not] what do you think of people who do lead others on?

i have been lead on and have also lead people on in the past.  it’s awful and makes the other person feel absolutely terrible about themself so i don’t suggest it.

2.)list all your favorite girl names.

i don’t really have one

3.)list all your favorite boy names.

^^^^

4.)in what ways has your life improved since this time last year? in what ways has your live gotten a little worse[if it has?]?

i mean my life hasn’t really changed significantly since last year. 

5.)what are some of your favorite song lyrics at the moment?

I don’t really have any tbh

6.)have you ever been to college? if so, what for? & did you drop out or complete your major?

I am currently in college and I am going for veterinary technology.  I’m not done yet, i still have 2 years left.

7.)if you go to college or went to college, did you ever have issues with financial aid? what happened?

No issues right now.  Just trying to pay off my loans as quickly as i possibly can.

8.)do you have a job? if so where? & what are your job duties?

I work at a shoe store.  I’m just a sales associate so i just have pretty basic jobs, even though my managers say i’m one of the best employees there and they give me more complex tasks than just standard employees.

9.)if you’re unemployed, are you looking for work? if so, where have you applied to recently?

-

10.)name four favorite fast food restaurants & what you usually order at each one[or instead, favorite food items at each restaurant if you don’t always order the same thing].

steak n shake: a different type of burger and fries, hardees: something different every time, subway: (idek if that count as fast food but oh well) buffalo chicken 6 inch, little ceasars: large pepperoni

11.)name four favorite sit down restaurants & what you usually order at each one[or instead, favorite food items at each restaurant if you don’t always order the same thing].

wingstop: 10 mango habanero traditional wings with a basket of fries, noodles and company: pesto mac, avantis: something different every time, flattop: its a make your own stir fry restaurant so usually something different every time

12.)would you say you’re more close minded or open minded? is there anyone in your family or group of friends you’d consider close minded? if so, does it ever bother you?

i try to be more open minded.  i don’t really know many close minded people. 

13.)if any, what movie previews have you seen recently that looked really good?

A quiet place

14.)post two favorite pictures of you.

-

15.)put your iPod or itunes or music player on shuffle & list the first 15 songs.

Been to hell- Hollywood undead, No one- Alicia Keys, Drive by- Train, Separate Ways- Journey, Never stop- Safetysuit, Your Guardian angel- red jumpsuit aparatus, take a bow- rihanna, you don’t see me- safetysuit, vicious love- new found glory, ice cream paintjob- dorrough, before you start your day- twenty one pilots, knock you down- keri wilson, hear me now- hollywood undead, two is better than one- boys like girls, sleepwalking- this wild life

16.)of the above songs listed, which one(or ones) are your favorite?

this wild life and separate ways

17.)if you’ve ever been in a relationship, which one(assuming you’ve been in more than one) was the hardest breakup, & which relationship was the biggest learning experience? if you’ve never been in a relationship, do you like anyone right now? if so, do you think it’ll go anywhere with the person you like?

the hardest break up was the person i dated directly before the person i’m currently with.  basically, out relationship was really toxic and she was very controlling.  she would get mad anytime i did something that made me happy.  we fought all the time and even though i loved her very much, i could not continue to put myself through something like that

18.)what’s the meaning of your first name?

no idea

19.)what’s the meaning of your middle name?

no idea

20.) have you ever moved to a different state? if so, how many different states did you live in? & did you ever move back to your homestate for whatever reason?

still live in my  home state

21.)in your life, who have you made the most sacrifices for? in the end, would you say it was worth it?

probably my boyfriend.  and he is more than worth it

22.)the last movie you watched, what was it about?

oh idk i’ve been watching a bunch of horror movies on netflix and they’ve all been bad lol so it doesn’t matter

23.)who would you say is or was the meanest person in your family? & what about them exactly makes them the meanest?

my brother.  he likes to pick on people and then gets really mean and violent when they’re not okay with him being a dick

24.)post a picture of you from 3 years ago if you have one.

-

25.)what’s your opinion of todays modern music? do you prefer newer or older music?

i 100% prefer older music.

26.)how many of your favorite bands’ albums do you have on cd?

none

27.)what are some tattoos you want?(if any)

I have way too many ideas haha i want to cover my legs in animal tats

28.)what are some piercings you want?(if any)

I maybe want my nose double pierced and a bunch of ear piercings

29.)in your opinion, have you changed for the better?

definitely

30.)do you ever let your emotions get the best of you?

most of the time, honestly

31.)what is the most fucked up movie you’ve seen? what made it so fucked up?

I’ve heard cannibal Holocaust is fucked up

32.)if you like a variety of music, list 5 different bands or artists, each of a different genre & then name what genre of music they play. if you don’t, list your five favorites at the moment.

50 cent- rap, Alice in chains- old school rock?(maybe), avril lavgine- pop, blake shelton- country, five finger death punch- ????

33.)last person you got into an arguement with? who was the last person you fought with physically?

Jack is the last person i was in an argument with and i haven’t physically fought anyone since my sister was home from the military and it was her lol

[ts-crossroads]

Episode Six - “No One Tell Karma Anything I Just Said” - Autumn

Ok i'm so goddamn bipolar. I trust Ned, alot. Ok Ned is amazin, like I see why Sarah liked him. So my problem is there is prob a swap, and I wan't my ass to go to exile. Like it is guarenteed saftey. So I claimed that shit. But I feel bad bc if I do, I leave Ned behind. Leaving Ned behind makes me feel like shit, and prob makes him like not like me as much. And I truly don't wanna leave him behind, I just wanna be safe. Like this entire game, I have felt wishy-washy. Like I don't know where anyones head is at. And furthermore, I love Brandon, don't get me wrong, but I feel like he would tell people that I am good w/ him and this is just my prediction bc his tribal q&a he went off. And he is bubbly and talkative, and just a bit too talkative. So I can just sense a target on my back bc of him. And just omg. I want to be exiled away 2 hell pls. And tbh i prob pissed off my entire tribe. Lol

I know I just said that I'll never trust Sam but I kinda trust her now. Me: I can't fall for Sam's tricks again. My brain: https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/survivorsucks/imageproxy.php?url=http://i1383.photobucket.com/albums/ah305/jeff_pROBOTst/lisi%20survivor%20fail%20gif_zpspbkboevo.gif?t=1433290937 Also JOHNNY went home?!!?! THE FRAT ALLIANCE NEVER EVEN SAW THE LIGHT OF DAY! I'll avenge you Johnny. A frat guy will win this season, mark my words.

I feel like there’s some kind of secret redemption island or outcasts twist happening tbh

Omf this swap couldn’t have worked out better. So it’s me, Jake, Chris, and John. Me and Jake are tight af and one of the first things Chris comes to tell me is he wants to work with me and Jake to get John out cuz John is pissed at Chris for lying to him about that last vote. So I’m like “YASSSSSS” in my mind. But on the outside I’m just like. O yea. That sounds cool. Let’s do that. Anyways. If we do end up losing this tribal it’s all good. I want me and Jake to be able to make it to merge. And John is one of the people I need to take revenge on for taking out Emily. He shows regret for it now. But in the end it doesn’t matter. He still did it.

Another swap and yet again I find myself in a tough spot. Last time I had at least autumn who I knew would vote with me. Now I have John who I just lied to and literally put on the block in case Johnny played an idol. Why the fuck would he work with me? The answer is he WONT. He’s gonna campaign to jakee and Bryan to get me out. Lucky for John, Bryan already doesn’t trust me! So my key here is Jake. If I get Jake on my side I stand a chance. Worst case scenario, I whip out my idol and guarantee I merge. I’m not tryna be like Johnny and get voted out with an idol... hell no. I’m here to make the merge. If I can just reunite with my people I’m set. I got autumn, ned, Haley, Ryan, and Brandon on lock. I possibly have Dane. I gotta work on jake man. Jake is my key to merge. 

OWEN HOW DARE YOU!!! WE WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!! http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/03/12/2691AE1E00000578-2991334-image-m-16_1426163660149.jpg He is so ugly for this/ I specifically told him not to. WE JUST FUCKING SWAPPED!?!?! Y'all don't understand I've been on every tribe in the past week and I'm tired. Every time I create a good spot and feel halfway good about myself, a twistos twist fucks it up and I'm not as young as these other kids. My trash iPhone 5S and I need to be seated and given a warning every time because we really do short circuit when things pop off. My Skype crashes as much as ocean waves whenever shit hits the fan and like my heart is already about to stop anyway from all the Coca Cola I drink and chronic stress I've endured for the past 23 years but like... that's all the more reason to not do so many swaps or at least give me a goddamn warning. I was at work and when I opened the app to see a Optio Tribe chat at the top of my messages?? https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D4K3XRRUIfI/WSs5kEir86I/AAAAAAAAEG4/O8CAhB5P57gO7RGi9aiGx_A7ZZxI0ReTgCLcB/s1600/giphy3.gif NOT TO MENTION work and Athena All Stars are competing to be the ultimate bane of my existence so if Crossroads could like not join the running, that'd be great. Like am I on a tribe of people I like trust? Yes, yes I am- miracles happen everyday. But am I now separated from Ned AND Chris?? Yes and that's not funny. Do I have to start over for the THIRD TIME in this game? Yes I do and the next announcement better be merge or I'll scream

I cannot believe I did THAT, I’m so proud of myself!!! I’ve never won a comp like that before! And I can’t believe chris got it a minute after me! Original impala is here to compete and win! I’m so glad we are safe especially during this double tribal, I’m shook. Ned and I will be the only ones to have never been to tribal after this!! And honestly I love ned so much, he’s definitely my f2. I’ve talked very little to Haley or Ryan so I’m glad we don’t have tribal here. 

I really slept in and woke up to find that not only did Optio lose the challenge, but now I have to pick between 3 allies and get a majority before they start talking and realize I know all of them well and am the smartest bet to send home https://media.tenor.com/images/1e425f0991c66cd840f78b389e84f5c9/tenor.gif I mean Brandon will read all of this eventually but the vote is him because Imperium ties run deep and feminism. I've been aligned with Dane from the jump #kidsnextdoor so when we got reunited, he was ecstatic to see me and was down to do whatever if we lost. That kinda loyalty is hard to find soooo I can't vote him out. Rebecka and I have history (which only Chris knows about) and played most of Athena Himalayas together so voting her out is just fake. I trust her waaaay more than any of these people so I have to put my money where my mouth is and prove my loyalty. Her and I never got it right in Himalayas so I'm not voting her out or dropping her name. Does this mean I'm betraying Brandon? Yes and that sucks. Is it better than the consequences of betraying Dane or Rebecka? Absolutely I've also learned that Brandon flipped votes to get Rhone out, which spooked Rebecka, and Dane is very committed to our old alliance so when I told him Chris and Brandon were tight, he wasn't having it. Also he's got bigger problems like his beef with Julia so he has to stay around I wanna watch that up close hahaha. Brandon's a great competitor so as great of a friend/ally as he is, I can't beat him in the end (not that he would ever take me over Chris). And I sure as hell can't let Brandon flip Dane or Rebecka on me because he's 100% smart enough and social enough. Sooo it's done- almost everyone has casted votes and I've made my peace with my ugly savage self. BRANDON IM SORRY BLAME OWEN ITS HIS TWISTOS TWIST!!! Highkey wouldn't have turned on you if we'd been put with other people so it essentially is Owen's fault. Ok done scamming for the day- no one tell karma anything I just said! https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/9WRvREpZJp5kMg4z8BwZqqC-XkQ/fit-in/1024x1024/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2016/11/14/049/n/1922398/3167f7e419274941_57c736261700000011c76cb6/i/Bye.gif

This round has been a roller coaster of stress, excitement, disappointment, and terror. First of all, we had our suspicions that "teaming up" would lead to a swap, but I don't think anyone seriously thought we'd be put into three tribes of FOUR. In a tribe this small, there's nowhere to hide. Sam and I decided early on to team up, because at this point, I trust her more than both Dane and Bryan, and Julia wanted to be on her own team so she could be exiled. Sam and I were put with Haley and Ryan on Imperium. #Imperium4Lyfe I trust Haley because she aligned with Chris on the old Fatum tribe, but Ryan kind of sketches me out. I was already preparing to either blindside Ryan or play my idol, because the immunity challenge was frickin impossible and the TWO losing tribes are going to Tribal. We had to guess a 7-digit code to find a secret page on the blog, and every thirty minutes or so we'd receive a relatively useless clue like "the sum of the first three digits is less than the sum of the last three digits." Ultimately, I decided to use my challenge advantage, which gave us two extra hints. This morning, Sam and I created a system that listed every possible code. Once we realized we had narrowed it down to around 36 combinations, it became a race against time to see how quickly we could enter each code on our phones. It turns out that we NEEDED my advantage, as Sam found the secret page literally SECONDS before Chris did on another tribe. I'm slightly suspicious that the double Tribal may just result in the two people voted out switching tribes, but then Julia would be exiled for another round and that doesn't seem very likely. Either way, I'm just happy to be safe for another round. Sam and I were just talking about how awesome we are together, as the two OG Imperiums who haven't gone to Tribal at all. I was really starting to feel like we could dominate the merge together, but then she said "You're my ride or die." https://i.imgur.com/JKVZSFJ.gif Those are the same words I never wanted to hear from Sam again, because that's word-for-word what she said to me in our first game together right before she backstabbed me. I guess the old saying is true: keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Okay things are finally heating up for me! When we swapped tribes Chris told me he was happy we were on the same tribes blah blah blah but I've seen through him for a while now so I don't trust him. Bryan is the only person who swapped with me so we talked and he said that he was good with Chris and didn't trust John because of what happened when he got sent to their tribal. I talked to John and I want him to stay mainly bc we basically live in the same city and I think we have sort of a bond cus of that. Also because I think Chris is a social threat and I'd like to take him out now before merge in case he groups up with his allies. Things are really complicated and messy right now. I'm telling John everything that's going on. Chris is lying and saying that John wants to target Bryan to Bryan to get him to vote out John but I don't want that. I'm trying to get Bryan to realize that Chris is a threat. Bryan however thinks that he'll be an easy target at merge which could be true but I really want to merge with John because I think he will have a lot of trust in me for trying to save him. It's complicated and with only 4 people voting and the chance of a tiebreaker I am still nervous. Anything could happen. I could be getting lied to. It's complicated. The only person who I think I trust fully right now is John. I hope Chris doesn't have an idol an I hope the don't fake out and vote me out. The best cast scenario for me is that Chris gets voted out and I merge. Worst case is that I get voted out lol, but if I have to lose John to merge then I lose John. I just need to keep myself safe while going the route that I think will benefit me the most in the long run.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vgoUMfYTNY0

SOOO, I won a challenge. I won the reward. And bitch, guess tf what. I made merge, jury, and the f11. BITCH YES. SO I put my ass to work on that puzzle to secure thati could make jury. Took me like 3 hrs, but I did it. Next, NED WON IMMUNITY SO HE IS GOING TO BE SAFE WITH ME. HELL YES. HELL YESSSS. I am living atm. 

Ok. So looks like the vote is falling on John. Tbh I’d rather have both John and Chris go but alas that seems to not be the case. I don’t wanna vote Chris out just yet. John is a subtle player but Chris plays really hard, he did on og imperium and he is now. It’d be really easy to paint a target on his back at merge if I have to. But anyways I really like having Jake as an ally. We really click. But me and Chris told John that we are voting out Jake. So it’ll probably be a 3-1 vote with John going bye bye. But John gave me some tea. That Haley went after Emily and then Nicole. Honestly the girl gives me the “not like other girls” vibe. It’s not cool and I really want her gone come merge as well. 

Ok so I lied in my last confessional I guess. I’m voting out Chris now. Woo. I never trusted him anyways. But John seems really desperate for an ally and me and Jake talked it over and decided to change our decision to Chris. Hopefully my old imperium people don’t get mad at me...

Im glad we won. FINALLY. and i did nothing. Haley and I or just I was gonna use my idol if we went to tribal which we didn't. xoxo

Tonight is rough. I’d like to think Jake and Bryan are with me and are voting John out. John should be voted out tonight. I have a idol if I get bad vibes at tribal but I’m not sure I want to play it. If I save it I am in a strong position at the merge. But I really wanna fucking merge man. I have a tough decision. 

Voting Brandon out, this ones for rhone 

(beginning of round) WELL. That last vote did not go as I planned at all... Johnny is out of this game.. and EVERYONE lied to me last round. Every person. I am definitely a bit hurt by Stoner because he was telling me that he wanted to be a trio with Johnny and I just a few hours before our tribal. He really showed his colors. Ryan said he planned this right after Haley got back. I am a bit bitter but I can get over it with them cause I need to survive another day. I feel like I have nobody now. A lone coffey. I am ready to work my way back to the top.

(After immunity)I made it to my birthday without getting voted out!! I was so busy doing birthday things that I failed to realize we tribe swapped again!!! I am ona tribe with Stoner, Jake, and Bryan! I haven't seen Bryan since the very first tribal where we voted out Emily. Which now that I think of it, I think the curse of fatum all started with the blindside of Emily and Bryan. Jake lives 20 mins from me so we clicked right off the bat, and we rekindled the friendship we had formed in one world fast. Stoner came to me saying he wouldn't blame me for gunning for him, but I told him that I would not go for him if he wouldn't go for me. We lose the challenge. And Jake informs me that Chris is targeting me!!!! WONDERFUL! When Chris lied to me the first time I was hurt, but he has been continuously lying to me the entire day and now it is pissing me off and making me a vengeful boy. Jake suggested that I made a plea to Bryan, and that is what I did. I threw Chris's name out there and told him how he seems to have so many personal connections with people, and he makes them think they are his number one. I fell victim to him once. Not again. I explained the Emily vote to Bryan, telling him how Emily was trying to form a girls alliance, and I let him know that Haley was the one that planned that whole thing. It led to the discussion that Bryan would like Haley out first when we get to the merge. After a bit of talking to Bryan he told me he was down to vote Chris out and I couldn't be more ecstatic. This is the sweetest revenge at the perfect time. I am telling Chris that I will vote Jake out because I "never talk to him". Half my afternoon consisted of me telling Chris things and then Jake relaying them back to me LMAO. Tribal will be a fun one. This one's for you Johnny!

I have never left impala, I’ll truly miss this little camp. But I’m so excited for merge, and new people!! And connecting with original impala again! And John Coffey <3

[12/30/2017 1:50:05 PM] BDC: I feel like this might be my time hahah [12/30/2017 1:50:21 PM] BDC: I don’t feel confident whatsoever [12/30/2017 1:53:19 PM] BDC: I messaged both Dane and rebecka and neither have answered but they are talking in the tribe chat together [12/30/2017 1:53:26 PM] BDC: So like .... [12/30/2017 2:51:58 PM] BDC: Trying to get the vote at 2-1-2 [12/30/2017 2:52:06 PM] BDC: Me and autumn are voting rebecka [12/30/2017 2:52:20 PM] BDC: And we are telling them to vote me and autumn [12/30/2017 2:52:39 PM] BDC: I think Dane would be the one most likely to have an idol so [12/30/2017 2:52:48 PM] BDC: Not gonna risk voting him [12/30/2017 2:53:09 PM] BDC: Plus I already like insisted to rebecka that I wasn’t voting her because of old tribal lines

[12/30/2017 3:13:38 PM] BDC: Hoping for the best [12/30/2017 3:22:37 PM] BDC: Rebecka said she’s voting autumn [12/30/2017 3:22:44 PM] BDC: And autumn should be voting rebecka [12/30/2017 3:22:51 PM] BDC: So I should be in the clear? [12/30/2017 3:23:52 PM] BDC: If I can survive this I’ll hopefully make merge and jury [12/30/2017 3:24:07 PM] BDC: That’s all I need so I don’t care who I piss off tonight 

I really feel like I’m leaving tonight hahaha