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artemisthemooner · 12 days ago

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Left Behind // Chapter 4: Plotting

Chapter 3

Ao3 Link

CW: Fae AU!Johnny MacTavish x GN!Reader, Fae!Gaz x OC (Name: Evie), cursing, horrible Scottish accent and slang written by an American who is really bad at writing accents (but continues to try), arguing, Fae being Fae, Definitely some plot holes

Summary: In the continuation of Chapter 3, Johnny and Gaz talk some more about what Johnny is supposed to do about the reader. Johnny has the idea to ask Evie about them and while Gaz is reluctant to do so for his own reasons, he does it. In doing so, they end up setting up a meeting with Evie and the reader. But first, they decide to regroup and come up with a plan to get the reader in Johnny's clutches.

Author's Note: Hey look at me I finally figured out how to do the naming link thingy! Cool! I figured it might be a good time to maybe post another chapter cause I've lowkey got writer's block and that sucks and I hate it but ehhhhhhhhh lol. While I'm at it I might make a masterlist once I figure out more on how to do that. As always, this is loosely inspired by Peachsofteal's Which Witch fanfic (highly recommend it tbh)

Word Count: 4036

Gaz squinted at him, his lips pursed into another deep frown. He blinked, sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, “What the hell are you blathering on about now, mate?”

Johnny loathed having to explain himself. He let loose a huff of warm air into the autumn air surrounding them, “If my…wee issue is dealt with before The Captain can find out, then ah’m in the clear.” He tucked his hands into his pockets, “There’ll be nae need to worry.”

“Uh-huh.” He began carefully, “And how do you suggest we go about doing that exactly?” He rested his weight on one arm, laying his other arm across his stomach.

“Tae be honest, Ah’m not sure yet.” He grumbled, deep in thought now that the question had been posed. He knew one thing for sure, “Whatever we do, The Captain cannae find out.”

“Obviously, yeah.” His friend affirmed, gesturing half-heartedly with his hand in the air.

Johnny jumped to his feet, pacing back and forth on the grass, a million thoughts running through his head. He had to get out of this, somehow, without anyone knowing. Amongst his kin, a secret was one of the more valuable things to know about someone. A secret as big as his was surely going to be very sought after.

Gaz watched him with a very careful eye, regarding him with the same judgement one might regard a feral wild dog.

He figured that assessment was rather accurate. He looked to his cohort, regrettably pleading with him, “Any smart ideas?”

He frowned in thought, “For what exactly? Fixing your little issue or hiding it from The Captain? Cause you and I both know how difficult either of those will be.”

“How about both.” He ran his hands through the shaved sides of his hair. It was odd for him to feel so unsure of himself. He was usually the one with all the ideas. The whole thing of a human having any sort of power over him was messing with his head. He couldn’t think. All he could think about was his desperate need to find you, his little human. There were no big plans behind it. Just one stream of unconscious thoughts.

FindThemFindThemFindThemFindThem

Over and over again. He couldn’t spend another mortal year like…this. Frazzled and desperate beyond repair.

Ghost, at the very least, being ever observant, would notice how strangely he had been acting. He would figure it out. He would tell The Captain. No doubt about it.

He had to find you soon. Like, within the next week, soon. He could go no longer being in the power of anyone else but him. He had to find you, even if it killed him in the end.

Gaz spoke, “Keeping all of this shit from The Captain won’t be easy, you know. But it’ll certainly go along much smoother finding your mortal, even if we have to get Evie to help us.”

Johnny snapped his fingers, “That’s right! We have yer sweet pet to help us now. Ye said they were friends, didn’t ye?”

“I did…”

“Then why dinnae ye call ‘em up, we’ll charm ‘em into giving us an address and-”

“No. Not happening.” Gaz shot him down, vehemently shaking his head.

Why did Johnny feel like they’d had this conversation before?

Oh, that’s right.

They had.

“Why the hell not?” He shot back, snotty as ever, “Aren’t they our best shot? Shouldn’t we use them?”

“Well, yeah, but they’re annoying. If I call them up now, I’ll have to spend the entire day with them and it’ll be a whole thing that I just do not want to deal with.” He groaned when he thought about it, flopping back onto the ground.

Johnny almost went for his throat again. This was serious and the only confidante he had was thinking about how annoying his newest pet was, as if all humans weren’t. He threw up his hands, “Does it look like Ah care, mate? This is my life we’re talkin’ about!” He stomped all around, “So, get off yer arse and call them up already!” He demanded.

Gaz grumbled, but ultimately fished his phone from his pocket like a good friend would. Under Johnny’s watchful eye, he typed out a message in response to the bombardment of ones his pet had already left for him to read. Classic human right there.

Oftentimes, humans under Fae power, especially those who had undergone a glamour spell, would develop an unsustainable attachment to their Fae master. He had seen it happen plenty of times. He had been the cause of it plenty of times as well.

Whether it happened because of the Fae’s own charm or because of an overuse of glamour, it was a typical side-effect, well-known to happen amongst the Fae. The only cure for it was to let the affected mortal go free, but even then, they would just seek out another Fae to become dependent on. It was a vicious cycle that only got worse and worse the longer it went on.

If it was happening to Gaz’s new pet like Johnny suspected it was, Gaz certainly wouldn’t be displeased to find out he had to let them go to find another Master. Now with how he seemed to dislike them after all.

Speaking of, Gaz huffed again, tossing his phone to the side, “Alright, they’ve agreed to meet us. They want to know if seven tomorrow will work and if it’s okay if they bring a friend with them.”

Johnny’s head snapped in his direction, “Wait, seriously? Ah expected that tae be a bit harder tae accomplish.”

“So did I. Maybe it’s a trick.” He suggested.

The two of them immediately burst into boisterous laughter. How stupid of a suggestion to make, and they both knew it. Mortals could never purposefully trick them. It was always an accident on account of an unfocused Fae. It would never happen normally. No human could ever be smart enough for that. Not even the ones with the highest IQ were immune to the charm of the Fae. That was something Johnny had seen first-hand.

The two of them laughed for a good long while, scaring nearby passerbys and birds that had reclustered together in the treetops.

When they stopped, Johnny nudged Gaz in the ribs, “That’s a funny joke, mate. Yer a real bampot.”

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself.” He chuckled a little more, sighing wistfully. After a moment of thought, he turned to face him, “So.”

Johnny tossed him a side-eye, “This again? So, what?”

“How exactly are you going to convince your mortal to go with you? Wouldn’t they know how much power they hold over you?”

He hadn’t thought of that. How was he going to accomplish this? He thought about it for a moment longer, then came to a final idea, “Easy. The memories of these more modern mortals aren’t as good as ours. They’re bound not to remember me one bit.”

“Okay? And then what?”

“Ah’ll present myself as a lowly human, jus’ like them, so that they’ll trust me. Then-”

“Won’t work.” Gaz interrupted before he could get the full thought out into the air.

Johnny shot him a look of annoyance, “Why not?”

“I got the feeling they knew I was a Fae. They weren’t like other humans who might not know any better. They might automatically assume any friend of mine will be like me. A Fae.”

“Ah’m sure they wouldnae have that much of an issue with us.”

“Didn’t they run from you the first time you met?”

“That was different. They willnae run this time.” Johnny waved him off, albeit his eyebrows creasing together with worry. He would never admit it, but he did have the slightest hesitancy about them remembering him or not trusting him right off the bat.

Gaz rolled his eyes, “Well, it isn’t exactly conducive to having a fantastic opinion about us, now is it?”

He hated having to admit when Gaz had a good point. A very good point in fact. They had run from him. That was truly not a good sign. Not if he had ever seen one. You probably did not trust any of their kind. He groaned, “Alright, ye bawbag, ye’re right. There may or may not be a good chance they dinnae like the Fae.” He huffed under his breath, tossing his head back to stare up at the bright blue sky, “Fine. Do ye have any ideas ye’d like to share, since ye seem to enjoy poking plenty of holes in mine?”

“Why don’t we ask Evie for their number? Mortals are almost always on their devices nowadays, they can’t seem to live without them.” Gaz crossed his arms, “Besides, it allows for a sense of anonymity. Quite a perfect thing for two Fae setting a trap.”

Johnny pondered over it for a moment. Then pondered it some more. He let it simmer, then nodded, “Alright, Ah guess ye aren’t really a bawbag. Do it.” He watched over his friend’s shoulder as he typed out a short message, again in response to a much longer series of messages from his very clingy pet.

His message about a number had been answered and then some. 10 messages came in where there should’ve only been a need for 1, maybe 2, at the max.

He honestly wondered how many interactions this mortal had had with the Fae and how much glamour had been used to cause this level of dependency. Then again, Johnny guessed that could’ve just been the human themself. Eitherway, he could feel the irritancy radiating off of Gaz in waves.

His friend shoved his phone into his hand, “Here. Their number. Put it in and enjoy.” He gestured to the string of numbers he recognized as a mortal phone number, highlighted amongst the tens of messages left in the chat.

He carefully typed in each number, putting it in a new contact he had so lovingly labelled ‘Mortal’.

A new message appeared on Gaz’s phone, coming in from Evie. He nudged him in the shoulder, “Hey, yer pet texted ye.”

“What now?”

“Looks like it’s an address. Maybe they want ye to meet them somewhere. Break it off or what have ye.”

Gaz side-eyed him, a mimic of his own expression, “Nah. They’re definitely sending it for a different reason.” He grabbed the phone back and looked at the message. He was already typing out another one.

“Not like Ah have any clue. Not my pet after all.” He shot him a very purposefully judgemental look, making sure it was scathing.

Gaz rolled his eyes and checked whatever new message had just come in for him. He hummed, “They say it’s their friend’s address. Didn’t I tell you how sweet they were?”

“And if ah remember correctly, ye also just said they were annoying.” He mentioned in snarky return.

“I guess you don’t want to know where your mortal master lives then.”

He blinked, reaching for the phone insistently, not even caring how Gaz had referred to you, “Nae- Nae, ah do. Give it.” Gaz let him have it rather easily. He wasted no time in putting his newfound piece of important information. He honestly couldn’t believe they had gotten it without even asking. A miracle in and of itself. He grinned, his teeth gleaming in the sun, “Great courts Gaz, yer pet is just something, aren’t they? When ye first told me how ye got them, ah was sure ye were tugging on mah dick.” He couldn’t help how his boisterous laughter escaped with delight, “Glad tae ken ye were telling the truth.”

“Course I was. Not like we can exactly lie, now can we?” Gaz scoffed, snatching his phone back. He pocketed it before Johnny could see if any new messages had been sent.

He shrugged and used one of the handy mortal tracking map apps to locate his target. A flat building it looked like. Drab place it was. Just a large box with a roof, painted one singular colour, windows set into the walls every couple of feet. It was just like the building that housed his own flat, the one he used when he had to stay amongst mortals for longer than usual. He wondered if there was anything else your mortal flat had in common with his. He honestly hoped the similarities were down to a small minimum. He didn’t need to share too much in common with a mortal.

Zooming out on the digital map, he checked the area surrounding your building, following the roads and streets around you. Only to find that you lived very close to the very cafe they had just seen you.

Not the place he had originally met you.

No.

He may not know the mortal world very well, but he knew that much. How exactly had you ended up there in the first place? Who or what had you been looking for that landed you in Faerie, in that forest, in front of him, one mortal year ago?

He hummed, “Huh.” His tongue clicked on the roof of his mouth.

Gaz shot him a look, “What?” He asked, his eyebrows knitted together.

“Ah’m jus’..Ah’m surprised.” He stared at the address glaring back at him from his phone, zooming in on the photo of your building. He focused on every window he could find, wanting to know exactly which one was yours.

His friend craned his neck up, trying to look over his shoulder at the image, “Nice place you’re looking at. Why so surprised?”

“It’s naewhere near the portal they came into Faerie through. Actually, it’s quite a few miles away. They live closer to the cafe where ye met ‘em.” He commented, flashing him the screen so he could see the place in even more detail.

“How is it that a mortal can go from one place to another? Surely that’s not possible.��

“As if ah ken anymore than ye do.” A wrinkle appeared in between his eyebrows.

Gaz sighed, “Just another thing for us to figure out. At least it won’t be hard to locate them now.”

“Aye. Nae way they can escape now tha’ ah ken where they live.” He grinned, sharp and presenting of his sharpened canines, “They’ll be in mah clutches very soon, that is fer sure.”

“How are you planning to do that? Find out their name? Trick them like they did you?” Gaz eyed him very carefully again, “I guess you could get them to eat some of our food and get them that way. You’ve got to have some sort of plan for this, right?”

“Ah’ll have tae trick them somehow. They were almost too kenning of my usual tactics. They avoided me at every single turn they could.”

“You might have to get them to break a rule of hospitality.” Gaz shrugged, as if expecting Johnny to understand every thought he had in his head, “It might be the only way.”

He frowned in confusion, “What in hell’s bells are ye talkin’ about, Gaz? How am ah supposed tae get them tae do that if they ken our rules?”

“I’m talking about our not so obvious rules. Y’know, don’t be rude. Don’t lie. Don’t hide your face..” He gestured flippantly with his hands.

Johnny hummed and crossed his arms on his chest, thinking about it for once. He tapped his foot on a dead leaf under his shoe, “Alright…Aye, that might jus’ work. It’s nae like a mortal could ken every single rule of ours. It would take years to manage that. They dinnae live that long.” He nodded, more to himself than anyone else, realising something at the same time, “And they were wearing a mask when ah met ‘em. A gilded one, only co’ered their eyes.” He mentioned, like it was an off-hand fact about someone’s favourite colour. It wasn’t like he had realised it at the time either, at least not until he had found the mask in question. It had been sitting just outside of a Faerie ring of mushrooms, resting on top of the same white cloak you had been wearing that night. It was as if you had taken them off and put them there yourself. But the cloak had been folded so neatly, he was sure you had not been the one to do it. You hadn’t meant to take it off.

There was no doubt about that now that he knew what he knew. He knew you were searching for someone. You had to have found them and they had to have been the one to fold the cloak.

Nonetheless, still with the hope of finding you and the residual annoyance with being tethered, he had picked the mask and cloak from the grass. He had taken them home, hoping to use them to find you again. We all know how that ended up going.

“They were?” Gaz asked, his face screwed into pinched confusion, “You’d think that would’ve gotten them in your hands much easier right? What the hell happened?”

“Mmh.” Johnny made a short noise, “As if ah ken.”

Gaz was right, of course. If only he had realised you were wearing a mask in the first place, your situations would be switched. He wouldn’t be caught up in needing to hunt you down over some misplaced tethers. No, if he had realised, you would be in the Fae realm, feeding him grapes and ambrosia wine. There would be no need for a hunt like this. There would be no need for any of it. Johnny could never admit how right Gaz was though. Bad enough he knew about the tethers embedded within him in the first place.

“What?” His friend asked.

Johnny faked a frown, “Hm? Oh,” He cut himself short, already feeling how his tongue burned with the lie he had almost told. He grumbled under his breath against the pain, then sighed and admitted his defeat, “Yer right, ye bastart. Unfortunately…”

“Course I am.” He grinned, pleased with himself, “How did they even slip past you if they were wearing a mask? Isn’t that a pretty obvious thing to have on your face? How the hell did you not notice that sort of thing?”

“Ah think ah was tae busy tryin’ to get mahself untethered.” Johnny snapped back a response, shooting him a scathing glare.

Gaz rolled his eyes, “Sod off, you know what I meant. Even when you’re at your angriest, you’re not unobservant. You’d notice if someone was standing five feet in front of you, wearing a mask. Just like I would. Just like Ghost would. Just like The Captain would. So what changed? Why couldn’t you see it?”

“Ye’re askin’ me, mate.” He grabbed at his face with his hands, dragging them down in distress, “Ah have nae bloody clue why ah didnae see it. Ah should’ve. Ah ken better than that.” Johnny lamented, utterly frustrated. Both with himself and with his situation.

He was a very powerful Fae, albeit one of the younger ones in existence. It wasn’t as if he felt it mattered. He shouldn’t be the one in this situation. It was an unnatural circumstance. A mortal with any sort of control over a being of the Fae realm was just asking for trouble. It was trouble. It was entirely unheard of it to happen, and yet it had happened to him. All because of his own stupidity. If it wasn’t obvious, he hated this. No, the feeling that simmered deep down inside him went further than mere hatred. It was anger and desperation and fear, rolled into a ball that only grew bigger and bigger the longer this went on. This was loathing. This was detestation. He loathed this. He detested it.

“I don’t know. It makes no sense. You should have noticed it.” Gaz shook his head, “Maybe they cast a spell on you? Made you more stupid than usual?” He cracked a quite obvious joke, a casual smirk on his face.

Johnny glared at him, his nose scrunched up in annoyance. However, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Maybe a magic spell was the reason behind his recent bout of being unobservant. He had worked with quite a few witches in his time, and he had always found them the rather vengeful type. It would indeed be under a witch’s purview to go searching through the Fae world for someone dear to them. It would also be under a witch’s purview to seek out power, especially power held over a Fae. If you were a witch, it would make more sense than if you were a mere mortal. He nodded, his expression smoothing, “Actually, ye might just be right.”

“Well, that’d be impressive if I was being serious, but alas, I was just joking.” He shrugged, laughing a bit, “What makes you think that anyways?”

“It would make sense, wouldn’t it? They kenned a suspicious amount about our rules…They kenned how to get in, and where…Hell’s bells, how else would ye explain me ending up in their hold? What else could they be but a witch?”

Johnny knew how absolutely bonkers he sounded, but he didn’t care. He just knew that you were a witch. You had to be. Even if you didn’t radiate witchly power like most did, you had to be. He was convinced of it.

“I guess so, but didn’t you say they were just a mortal? Like, definitively?” Gaz frowned, “How can they be both mortal and witch?”

“Ah dinnae ken yet, but ah will find out. Ah’ll make sure of it.” He pressed his fist into the palm of his hand, promising it both to himself and to you.

Gaz sighed in defeat, “Just another thing to be added to the list of things we need to look into.” His lips pursed as he leaned back. A pair of girls across the park caught their attention. Gaz waved playfully to the two of them and they returned the gesture with pink blushes, then they scurried off down the park’s concrete path. He chuckled at their reaction, “Mortals are so easy to play with.” He smiled. Johnny watched as the angles of his friend’s face grew sharper as he thought about it.

He grinned too, also enjoying the classic mortal reaction to them. No matter how long they lived, it never quite got old when they charmed mortals into complete shyness. They often had different reactions too, all dependent on the uniqueness of the mortal.

Of course, his thoughts returned to you. Most mortals would’ve been overjoyed to know they captured a Fae. Not you, however.

No, you ran from him, like a scared little bug. Quite the proper reaction, he liked to think. Too few on the mortal place cowered in their presence anymore.

While he had enjoyed how you ran and hid from him at the time, he was now just frustrated with it. How dare you hide from him?

“I suppose we should go then.” Gaz got to his feet, wiping the dust from the ground off of the material of his jeans.

“Why?”

“You want to catch your mortal, yeah?”

“Duh, o’course ah do.”

“Then we need to come up with a plan for it. Something to outsmart them like they did you. To accomplish that, we need to research.” Gaz explained, trailing off as if expecting Johnny to finish his thoughts for him.

Johnny just stared at him, expecting him to continue on.

He did not,

He rolled his eyes, “Let’s jus’ go. We’ll figure it out when we get there.”

The two of them made their way deep into the forest, returning to their own thoughts and ideas on what to do about everything that had happened. They walked until they found one of plenty existing Faerie rings that cropped up. They stepped inside.

To an innocent bystander, two men had disappeared within the blink of an eye. They were no longer in the mortal world.

To Johnny and Gaz, they were home, and they had plenty of work for them to do.

#soap mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #soap x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #johnny soap mctavish x reader #gaz call of duty #kyle gaz garrick #gaz cod #cod au #fae au #cod fic

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multi-lefaiye · 8 months ago

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HANNAH & ABDIEL BACKSTORY DUMP POST

i've wanted to write this for a while tbh- anyway! backstory on eden's parents, hannah and abdiel linnaeus.

tagging the eden linnaeus fanclub and other people i think would be interested: @skitzo-kero @anexor @chaieyestea @invaderskoodge @vacantgodling

@void-botanist @drawnecromancy @moonflowerrss @paradoxspir1t @albatris

@corvus-rose @astral-runic

content warnings: discussions of child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, parental death, terminal illness, misogyny, and ableism. (probably not as much on that last one, but i think the vibes are there.)

also i'll be using she/her in reference to eden in this post because this is wayyy before he had any gender realizations. just remember eden is A Man.

i don't have recent art of hannah, so i'll just use screencaps of when i made her and abdiel in bg3 as a reference. hannah on the left, abdiel on the right.

FOR BACKGROUND: abdiel is the only son of a drow scholar named noa of house linnaeus, following an intimate encounter with an incubus in her early 20s. noa never wanted a child, much less a son, but she was far too prideful and stubborn to give him up or abort the unborn fetus. so, she had a son, and she loathed him. from a very young age, noa made it clear to abdiel that she never wanted him, and that it was his responsibility to fix the mistake he'd made by being born.

she pumped that kid FULL of self worth issues right away.

hannah, by contrast, was raised by two loving tiefling parents--her father jeriah, and her mother ansel. their life together wasn't perfect, sure, but it was happy. both of her parents were spellcasters, and they were both renowned on some level for their craft. and so, from a rather young age, there was an unspoken expectation that hannah would follow suit.

HOW THEY MET: hannah and abdiel met at fantasy-wizard-college, when hannah was 20 and abdiel was 35. hannah was in the middle of her undergrad studies as a cleric, and abdiel was in the middle of his doctoral program as a wizard. abdiel didn't actually start college until his late 20s because noa would not allow him to, pressuring him to stay and take care of her as she got older. he hated his mother, but he was also terrified of losing her, as he felt no one else would have him. eventually, though, he left her behind, desperate to escape his abuser and start his life elsewhere. and that included attending college to study magic.

college was... rough for abdiel. he was significantly older than his peers and felt both uncomfortable and deeply alienated around them, especially many of the women on campus who reminded him of his mother. that combined with his total lack of self worth made it hard for him to talk to people, hard to make any *friends.* so, he was alone, and he was fine... until, one day, he hit a breaking point and broke down in a hidden corner of the main meal hall, bawling into his hands.

then, hannah found him. she was genuinely worried and approached him, asking if she could sit next to him. he tensed and asked her what she'd do if he said no, and she said that if he said no she'd leave. but, well, he seemed like he might need a friend, so she wanted to ask. he was quiet for a while after that, still shaking.

eventually, he timidly told her she could sit with him, so she did so, and she kept him company until he fully calmed down. afterwards, she started talking to him, and slowly he began opening up to her, feeling more reassured by the minute by how sweet and genuine she was, without pressuring him to do the same.

soon, he started really engaging with her, too, and by the end he was actually smiling. and hannah took that as a victory above all else--being able to see this sad, anxious man smile. (she told him that he has a nice smile, and he laughed, visibly flustered by the compliment.)

after that day, hannah started seeking him out and talking to him more, and he always seemed to visibly relax around her. basically, hannah appointed herself as abdiel's best friend, and he accepted wholeheartedly. she quickly became one of the only people he felt truly safe around, and he latched onto her as a result. she encouraged him to open up more and talk to other people, too, and as he did, he finally began to truly *flourish.*

with hannah's support, abdiel began slowly making more friends and developing more of a reputation with his classmates as an outgoing, intelligent, charismatic guy. finally, he felt like he belonged at university, like people wanted him around. hannah was his favorite, ofc, but he relished the attention.

and he returned the favor tenfold, supporting hannah in every way he could and bragging about her to anyone who would listen. he was a wife guy well before they even started dating. though she was already very confident, sweet, and intelligent, one thing she really struggled with was taking care of *herself* rather than other people, hence why she approached a terrified abdiel to comfort him in the first place.

abdiel encouraged hannah to consider herself more, praising her for her altruism while also telling her to value herself. he was terrified that the world would take advantage of her brilliant, beautiful, benevolent soul, and he wanted to protect her and protect that selflessness. besides his classwork and research, abdiel spent much of his free time with her, soaking up her attention and, in his mind, protecting her from people who wouldn't appreciate her.

abdiel eventually realized he was attracted to hannah in a way he'd never been with anyone before. and he *panicked*. he believed that he should be grateful for what he had with hannah, should be lucky to count her as his friend, and he shouldn't dare wish for anything else. so he kept his mouth shut for nearly a year after he realized it.

then, when hannah was 22 and abdiel was 37, hannah's father jeriah died. and she just... *broke* down.

abdiel held her throughout the night she got the news, his heart breaking with every heaving sob she let out into his chest. sure, he'd seen plenty of people cry, but none hurt as much as hannah did. he'd never seen her so devastated, and he vowed to himself that he'd do everything in his power to make sure she never cried like that again.

(later, hannah explained to abdiel that her dad had been sick for a long time--her family has a history of illness going back generations, and he'd been dealing with it for some time. however, she'd hoped against hope that the latest treatments he'd been receiving would work... this is what directly inspired abdiel to go into medicine, changing course to work towards, maybe, a cure for the illness in hannah's family. all of abdiel's contributions to medical science trace back to her.)

a few weeks after her dad's death, hannah actually made the first move and kissed abdiel. immediately, she panicked and pulled away, babbling apologies and telling him that it's okay if he doesn't like her that way, and she doesn't want to make things *weird*, but she really really likes him and he's her best friend in the world, and- (abdiel gently cut her off by cupping her cheek and leaning in to press their lips together again, once he remembered how to move again after his brain short-circuited a little.)

they started dating a day later, after sitting down and talking through their feelings. abdiel already knew he loved hannah, and he was so relieved to finally be able to express it. as far as he was concerned, she was the center of his universe, and he damn near worshipped that woman. hannah, meanwhile, was a bit more hesitant to call it love at first, but she definitely adored him.

(fun little side-note, but hannah's mother ansel definitely did not approve of abdiel at all. she thought hannah could do better, and she was wary of hannah dating an older man. at least, until one day when abdiel sat down with her and earnestly told her how much he loves her daughter. he'd never do anything to hurt hannah, *ever*, and he needed her to know that. ansel didn't have to believe him, but he wanted her to know he meant it, and ge'd prove it. finally, she relented.)

they dated for a couple years, and shortly after they both graduated they moved to a small fishing village named encerough, near where hannah grew up. by this point, abdiel was making a lot of headway in his research into healing magic as a wizard, and he was developing quite a reputation in his field... however, as much as he was enjoying his developing renown, he didn't have much interest in living in a bustling city with his colleagues.

he liked the idea of a quiet life with hannah in the country. especially once hannah got pregnant, at which point they decided to get married. (abdiel definitely prepared a whole elaborate proposal and pulled out , but hannah beat him to it and proposed after she told him she was pregnant. he immediately pulled her into his arms and kissed her so fast she nearly fell over <3 these two were so immensely Smitten™️)

then, when hannah was 24 and abdiel was 39, she had their first child: a tiny purple tiefling named eden. abdiel held her hand the whole time as she was giving birth, encouraging her and refusing to leave her side. and, afterwards, while she was recovering, he sat with her and smiled, just... watching her with so much love and adoration. he had a family, all his own, and he loved them more than anything.

but, of course... that's where the troubles started. abdiel loved hannah, and he loved eden by extension, but he struggled to connect with his baby the same way he connected with his wife. he looked at eden and felt nothing, and he had no desire to interact with or care for the baby. more than that, having a *daughter* was terrifying to abdiel. he knew logically that a baby couldn't hurt him, but hannah *was* still the only woman he ever felt safe around.

hannah was understanding and reassured him that his daughter knew he loved her, and he was relieved. as long as hannah didn't think less of him, that was all that mattered to him. and so, abdiel made little to no effort to care for or show eden any attention, noticably shrinking away from her and passing her off to her mother.

making things worse, around this time, hannah started developing symptoms of an illness very similar to her father's. nothing too bad at first, but she began to have less energy, her joints began to ache, and she began to struggle to get out of bed. abdiel noticed right away and was *terrified*, throwing himself further into his research to find a cure for hannah before her illness could progress. not that he really discussed this with her--he didn't want to worry her or make her think she was going to die. because she wasn't. he wouldn't let that happen.

of course, the time came where they had to talk about it regardless, and hannah was... resigned. she'd always figured this might happen, but not this soon. but she told abdiel that it's okay. she's not dead yet, and she has plenty of time left with him and their baby girl. she appreciated him trying to help, but she was just happy to spend her life, however much she had left, with the most amazing man in the world, and the beautiful child he'd given her. (abdiel silently promised that he'd make sure she had a happy life. and she wasn't going to die. *she wasnt.*)

fast forward a bit, and hannah and abdiel had their second child: a son named michael. abdiel once again struggled to connect with their baby, but this time he tried. he earnestly tried to be there for both of their kids, even if he mainly cared about them as extensions of his love for hannah. (it was easier with michael, though--perhaps having a son was easier to process.)

still, hannah was proud of him for trying either way, and she told him as such. in between his research into her disease and finding a cure, he spent as much time with his family as he could, especially hannah (though he at least would acknowledge his kids). but... hannah was still getting worse, and abdiel was *terrified.*

they began having more and more talks about what might happen, which grew more and more tense, more and more serious, as they both realized hannah wasn't getting better, and abdiel wasn't any closer to a cure. he wasn't going to stop trying, though. *goddammit*, he wasn't going to stop.

then, around eden's sixth birthday, hannah collapsed and had a violent coughing fit, struggling to breathe as she seized on the floor and eden watched helplessly, terrified for her mother. (abdiel paid the child no mind--he just ran to hannah's side to help her.)

she was ultimately okay, having just strained herself a bit too much while cooking, but abdiel fucking *panicked.* he realized that he wouldn't be able to find a cure to save her in time if he stayed in encerough--he'd have to travel to one of the cities, where he'd have many more resources at his disposal.

it took a week or so for him to get preparations in order, during which time he didn't tell hannah anything, up until the night before he left. when he did, it was presented in a way that boded no arguments: abdiel would be leaving to find a cure, and she would stay *here* and take care of herself (and the kids). he'd be back soon, and she would be okay. abdiel was taking control of a situation where he felt helpless, making decisions for both of them without thinking about what she wanted.

hannah didn't react well. she was upset that he hadn't told her his plans, and she ended up just. telling him point blank that he wasn't going to be able to *cure her.* this was it! she always knew she would die young, and she'd rather her husband *stay* with her and enjoy the time she has left rather than leaving her alone with the vague promise of returning someday to fix her when she *didn't want to be fixed.*

abdiel didn't react well either, and this just... spiraled into a huge argument, which ended with them both in tears (but moreso hannah--abdiel always did have a tendency to shut down emotionally when they disagreed with each other, refusing to listen to what she was saying).

(baby eden also witnessed this argument, not that she ever told either of them about it.)

the next morning, they talked again, calmer this time. and hannah asked abdiel to stay. please. and he told her that he couldn't. if there was even a *tiny* hope that he could save her, he had to take it. because he loved her.

she was clearly devastated to hear that, but she nodded and said okay. but she told him to come back soon, and he told her he would--*after* he'd found a way to save her. and later that day, he was gone.

he never did come home, of course. he sent hannah letters when he could, but not all of them were delivered in a timely manner. without hannah there to balance him out, he lost himself in an obsessive spiral of trying to find a cure, trying to *fix* her, and he easily lost track of the time.

hannah telling him that he hadn't cured her and wasn't going to be able to... well, it hit a nerve, and he was determined to prove her wrong as much as he was determined to save her. he was angry with hannah, not that he'd ever call it that. (and, as a sidenote, it's during this time that abdiel developed most of his fame and renown as a wizard--even though he was no closer to curing hannah's disease, he was behind a lot of major advancements in medical technology in this era.)

when asked, abdiel would tell people he was married, but he rarely went into detail. and he certainly never mentioned his children. no one needed to know about his personal life, not until he'd fixed the problem and saved the love of his life.

and then, nearly six years later, abdiel received word that hannah was dead. and he was *devastated*. he locked himself in his study and completely broke down, drinking himself into a stupor and smashing a bunch of his equipment, and then the numbness fully settled in. he'd failed. and she was gone.

he didn't go to her funeral. he didn't want to face their neighbors, their *children*, knowing he'd failed his hannah and she was gone. and, fuck, their children surely hated him by now, didn't they? after all, he hadn't saved their mother. he'd hate him, too.

so, he stayed away, and he stopped sending letters. he withdrew from his family entirely, and once he was able, he threw himself back into his research, the only thing he had left. if he wasn't going to be able to have the life and family he'd wanted, then he'd at least have his work.

he did try to move on from hannah, but it never really went past the occasional one-night stand. as far as he's concerned, hannah's the only person he ever really cared for, and that's not going to change. there's no one else like her, and there never will be again. and like i *joke* bout him comparing his one-night stands to hannah, but he definitely did that. because no one compares to her.

(and on hannah's end--she never stopped loving or missing abdiel, and she had no interest in moving on from him. she held out hope he would come back, because he told her he would. he'd never broken a promise to her before that, and though she still believed his quest to cure her was fruitless... she knew, if anyone could find a way, it'd be him.)

#multi makes text posts #IT'S HERE.... BLAGH #eden linnaeus #my phone is so low on battery rn fick #*fuck

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wishing-stones · 2 years ago

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Your badsanses with a s/o who loves cooking for him. He wakes up they make him food, he comes n from work they have dinner made, hes out otherwise they either come with him or when he comes back theyll ask if hes eaten. And everything they make is super healthy for him.

If asked if theyve eaten, they look sheepish and admit they havent. They wait for him.

For funsies, they grew up n a family of strong hard workers who were always hungry, and they have always been the one to do the task/pleasure and an honor n their eyes.

Killer appreciates the hard work, babe, but you gotta eat too. Have a snack while you're cooking, the world(s) won't end. You're more than welcome to wait for him to sit down and have cute little meals and stuff, but if it's interfering with you staying fed, he's going to object. He can be gone for days at a time sometimes, and if you don't eat in that whole time, he deems you too weak to cook for anyone, him included, and you get takeout. the healthy food is great, but he loves his junk. Dust is... actually really flattered by this and it makes him feel kind of soft. He, too, loves his junk food, but he always eats what's made for him. He is adamant about you eating while he isn't around, though, because it's a terrible habit, and while he's flattered you like to eat with him, if he's not around, you do need to feed yourself. Similar to Killer, he puts his foot down if it's been too long and he thinks you're too weak to hold a soup spoon. Axe might propose on the spot, tbh. Feeding others is his love language, and if you beat him to it, he's just. Absolutely lovestruck. He absolutely doesn't allow the willful starvation without him being there and puts a stop to it really fast by making sure there's things around for you to eat when he's not there, and he'll get pretty upset if you don't eat it. He's the one with the biggest issue with this because of what he went through. Cross is very flattered by this and adjusts his schedule as much as he can to make sure he's home for lunch if he's off doing something, so even if you wait for him, he's on time for three square meals a day so you eat them, too. He gets a little stern if his schedule doesn't allow for it, though, and makes it clear he expects you to eat whether or not he shows up. He's good at communicating if he's going to miss a meal or be late, though-- he always texts you with updates unless he knows he's going to be unable to come home in advance. Baggs is a little hot-and-cold on this. Having nice healthy meals on time every day is nice, and makes him feel better, since he's garbage at eating well himself, but he's a little crabby if it interrupts something he's working on. He eventually schedules out meal breaks with an alarm an hour preceding so he knows to find a stopping point soon to break for lunch or dinner. He really doesn't tolerate the inability to eat alone and if the behavior doesn't change, he'll intervene and get to the root of why. As it is, he'll make you think about why that is in the first place, but when it becomes a problem, he fixes it. Fast. Nightmare is thoroughly charmed by this, but also does not abide by the whole 'waiting to eat until you're home' thing. It helps no one, least of all you, and you aren't going to be able to cook well if you yourself aren't nourished. He'd hate to think what happens to a weak, shaky hand when slicing up vegetables. You must eat, even if he's not there. However, when he is, he delights in getting to have nice sit-down meals prepared just for him.

All of this is magnified by the fact that intent gets poured into cooking easily, and your intent to make sure they're all happy and fed makes the food better for them.

#k answers #k headcanons #feat. r&r crew

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fictionfixations · 8 months ago

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can i just say

you know those transmigrater(?) grator?? i odnt. i dont know the terms for this man

but you know the the the. transmigrates into usually the villain kinda stories?

you know whats my favorite for that kinda stuff? where we were the actual character all along (i think its.. regressor...? ??? either going back into your past as yourself or living another life and then backtracking to a past life of yours that being of generally the villain? idont know if thats what it actually means)

ive also never seen it but i just. think its really cool. and i like reading fics where theyre the same person

in the same way i like it when they have motives. let me be clear, ive NEVER seen the source material so i have no idea whats canon and whats not

but you know what id like to think is canon? shen jiu being a former slave and being super bitter at the world for being very cruel and thats why hes an asshole in like. book canon.(? canon. of. the book. ..in the story.? i think the the the book in that one is like Proud Immortal Demon Way...? IDK man)

or like like. og cale henituse acting like trash because he cares about his siblings and doesnt want negative attention on them also dont know if thats canon. but yknow what? thats my canon

now about time travel in general since it kind of relates, romance is always iffy because its like you know everything that'll make this person fall in love with you. or like, theres an age gap now, and it might not bother them but its not like they know. i know. (its worse if youre like back in your teenage years while youre already an adult cause at that point it feels a little gross)

its that sort of discrepancy(?)

so like. i dont like that there needed to be an entirely new person to be in that body to make change or do things for the better or make everyone like that person

it feels like a cop out.

and also people believing that that person suddenly changed for the better when they arent that person at all???

which. ow.

maybe thats my bad. maybe im secretly an apologist for them, idk, maybe im projecting

but like idk man. the world telling you youre not enough so someone else ends up in your body and then fixes literally every issue in the world (and everyone liking this 'version' of you better). like ow me heart

in all fairness the og's wouldn't have knowledge of the book they're living in??? which is why the transmigrator can do so much

but. THUS. new life AS the transmigrator, then regressing(?) back into their past life with that new knowledge. and probably character growth cause maybe they experience what being loved is like (familial. imagine how cruel itd be to have a lover then one day waking up in a past life of yours that you can only associate as cruel and punishing, and you genuinely cant be sure if that person was made up or not. like was it just a dream? also 'oh god the people i thought mightve been dead are alive')

tbh though it might be because while op time traveling shenanigans (or anything in between) is cool with me, i also like the angsty time travel of 'when i look at them, i keep seeing their dead faces'

of 'how do you know this' (accusatory, 'are you a traitor?')

of also grudges and stuff

but also. more character growth refacing trauma theyve faced before

also maybe probably very much selfish because they kindaa probably just wanna protect their family and will do anything to do so (and thus embrace the 'villain' part that people think of them as)

i dont know if im making sense anymore

now LET ME BE CLEAR i dont like that shen jiu hit his students and shit and was a huge asshole and its not going to suddenly go away. but. its acknowledging what you did wrong, making up for it, but knowing that it'll still stay there. that he still did it even if he deeply regrets it and even if everyone forgives him. because i really dont know in what situation itd be okay to be hit? and also that hopefully hes not that person anymore, but that he wont hide it and will own up to it as a thing he did and shouldnt have done.

anyway i dont know what og cale did besides act like trash but its either the fics im reading are downplaying it or like. thats really it. i have no clue. but still the same thing. if he did some horrible thing, ABOVE.

i just like redemption. and revenge stories. and character growth-ing.

and maybe thats on me for liking villain-ish characters. (im saying villain-ish though because supposedly og cale didnt play a huge part in the book? ....Birth of a Hero...?????? like he just happened, got beat up, and dipped? i think? thats what ive heard anyway. so i dont know if he really counts as one since like uh. white star.????????? ????)

anyway uh thought dump over

feel free to correct me in comments i like learning about things

#thoughts #transmigration #i dont know what to tag this #shen jiu #og cale henituse

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capitaletele · 7 months ago

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Both inexperience takes were so good and the way Johnny just casually goes "oh yeah ive mostly been with guys" and Cristal has to reconsider some things is interesting because it implies Cristal didn't really know a lot about queer people(i mean bi Cristal for the win but maybe she didnt know idk) and saw it as unusual while it's just perfectly normal for Johnny (i may be overanalysing i apologize). Also i cant quite put my finger on what gives off that impression but i feel like the way theyre acting shows they have different concepts of sex, like it's treated kind of like a taboo subject/something you shouldnt talk about among the people Cristal grew up around and with the Etoiles Noires its just normal and people wont get shamed for wanting to have sex (same thing for not wanting to and/or being repulsed by it)

Okay i think i overanalysed sorry for that essay i just really liked it

Heeeeee thank you! :D :D :D (I'm guessing you were the original prompter? If so I'm glad you enjoyed my takes!)

And neverrrrrr apologize for analysing, my god, I'm pretty sure anyone who writes fic would talk about all the possibilities of the universe 24/7 if they could!! This is what I *want* to be doing so you're doing me a favour here :p

I'm definitely torn about the queerness aspect tbh, because I love the idea that in Monopolis there is no issue with gender and sexuality doesn't matter (this is certainly emphasized I think by the 2022 mise-en-scene where you see male dancers in skirts during the Opening and Naziland for example.) So it follows that there should be no "whoaaa you're queer??" from Cristal (or anyone else.) And I also (obviously) adore the idea of queer!Cristal.

But I also *love* exploring different variations of the world and the characters; that's how you don't run out of ideas, you know? I don't really have one fixed headcanon, I like to think "Okay Cristal is [A]" and then "Okay this time Cristal is [B]" and seeing what happens if you move the cursor slightly one way or the other :D

ANYWAY this is not what you were talking about.

YES I love thinking about the way the Towers people and the Underground people might think about sex and gender in all their configurations. I left the ending deliberately pretty vague so it could be interpreted anyway you wanted :p

Like, perhaps the Towers are supposed to be a Puritan society where Marriage is Sacred and you must Preserve the Bloodlines or whatever, but people in the tunnels don't care and are fucking like bunnies out of wedlock and it's all very "savage" and "uncivilized" (and thrilling.)

Or, on the contrary, perhaps sex is normalized in the Towers because it's like the Roman orgies of the elite, very blasé and consequence-free, but it's more controlled for "regular people" because they have things to consider like how they're going to find the money to raise a kid if they get pregnant?? (And then we get into the whole question of like, how dystopian is Monopolis, really? Is there population control? Massmedia and I have talked about this *so much* haha.)

Or perhaps Cristal was simply taught that people in the tunnels are not "as advanced" or as "open-minded" as people from high society, and so she expects Johnny to be a sort of basic play-boy like she's seen in old movies, but it turns out that he's just as liberated as anyone from high society (and perhaps even more than her).

Or she's still struggling with the media image of him as a violent, uneducated, boorish criminal, and she thought he would also perhaps be a bit homophobic.

OR, her mind is boggling because Johnny just outed a bunch of people to her which shows that he's maybe a little dumb of heart 🤣

OR.... something else I haven't thought of yet, but perhaps you have, and which is just as valid!

#asks #starmania #starmania fic #johnny rockfort #cristal

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throwing-roses-into-the-abyss · 2 years ago

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hi this is rslashknits!! I misread your tags and now see you partially frogged already. sorry about suggesting that again!!

you mentioned a knitting cafe--imo this is what knitting community is for. if you know a trusted expert knitter who you don't mind handing your sweater to I might ask them if they think they can partial frog and fix and demonstrate for you. if your yarn is messed up from your attempted fix I think you can tie in some fresh yarn to replace your old ladders (with knots hidden inside?) but that's a lil scary haha, so I'd defer to an expert on it.

I say this because when I know I messed up and it isn't too many rows down I bring the piece to my mom, lol. and I always learn a lot like that!

if you like my little "I totally did that on purpose fix" where you cover it up and then copy the design across the sweater--if you have a computer program that can do it, I would try and edit the photo first to plan the placement and frequency of the lines and make sure I like it. especially cuz you definitely didn't plan something like that when you started and it's gonna be different visually from your original plan of that sweater. it will also help you decide if you hate the look right off the bat so you don't waste time.

honestly if it were me though I might just wear the mistake out n proud.

again good luck!!

ah no worries! I tend to put a lot of information in my tags but I know not everyone actually reads those, especially if the post gets shared around.

For a full explanation of what happened yesterday, just for context and because, idk, I want to share? :

so my first skein finally ran out and I was trying to join the second one, and I thought I'd knit both the old and the new strand together for a bit to like, strengthen it or something idk. But I accidentally used the wrong strand for a bit, so I dropped that one, picked up the other one, and went along, just to then notice that obviously there's a bit of a floater happening. Then I noticed the float getting looser, so I started pulling it to try and figure out where it was loosening from, but that snapped the yarn. Then I lowkey panicked because I was worried about it not being secure enough and my project falling apart on me so I tried to frog the two rows I'd knit with the new skein and very slowly and carefully put the needle back on, but while doing that I dropped some stitches and created some new ones and also put a lot of it back on the needle the wrong way. And also the next row also partially frogged but I just kind of. Added it to the current row. Then I knit the next row, which was a hassle because I put so much back on wrong. By the end of the row I did figure out how to fix that but, well. That was by the end of the row. And then of course also there were the massive tension issues and gaps where I dropped stitches and I cried.

(in my defence, my brain is already always kinda like this but it's been way worse the past month, I'm definitely not fully "here" and I was already waiting for a big mistake to happen, things were going too smoothly)

Someone else (@pixelhilma) suggested to kind of pull at the stitches to create new tension and then tying the resulting yarn loop into a knot which I might also try? Knitting cafe isn't until friday unfortunately, though I might drop by the yarn store where it's held to ask for advice.

I think tbh I'm more worried about having made a super weird mistake that will cause my project to fall apart at some point. like aesthetically it sucks but I can just wear a blazer over it or hide it with some embroidery like you suggested in your post, but idk if I accidentally made it unstable.

You're so lucky you can just ask your mom! I'm highkey jealous lmao.

#adventures in knitting #knitting

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izzy-b-hands · 2 years ago

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I think I’ve identified the main issue w/the latest rizzy fic, but fuck me if I can figure out how to fix it.

I don’t know exactly where it’s going.

Normally, this isn’t an issue. I tend to let the story flower as I go, and trim as needed.

But I’m absolutely staggered with this one, where it’s either (major spoilers for this modern AU fic plot here no matter what direction I go with it in the end, but if you don’t mind that/are curious abt the text blocks of info doing my head in, read on lmao):

Version A: Roach (independent food/chef vlogger) gets too into his May 31st project (a crepe cake) and works into June 1st, only to be reminded by Izzy of his extensively planned Pride Month activities/ideas, that Roach had advertised all the month of May as starting IMMEDIATELY on the first (aka he should already have a video of a themed dish up, but he doesn’t bc he’s on Cake Ten of the crepe cake, and their pantry is now fucking empty too.) Fic (tentatively for now) would end with Izzy figuring out how to help him A. finally finish a satisfactory crepe cake (to Roach’s standards, aka Very Fucking High), B. rapid fire choose and film one of his themed ideas for the Pride Month stuff, and C. eventually sleep bc all of this is going down at like. One in the morning.

Version B: All of the above up until Izzy’s part. Instead of figuring it out that night, he gets Roach to bed and does what he can to help before leaving for his own job (PA/Security/Other Duties As Assigned to the combined very rich household of Ed, Stede, Mary, Doug, and the kids (in a huge shared house, so they aren’t in each other’s faces if they don’t wanna be, plus Ed & Stede are implied to own other property they spend time at too.))

The issue with Version B is that I worry the thing is getting too Big:

now I have a subplot started there about Izzy admitting to Mary (when he drops in for the morning to take the kids to school and give both couples of the house one of the reject cakes that Roach has deemed won’t be used at all by him. They have ten fucking cakes in the fridge, getting rid of two barely puts a dent in it tbh)

that his mum passed, in England (implied that everyone else is living in the States or NZ, I’m not exactly sure where I wanna put them yet frankly bc either is fine like I DON’T ACTUALLY CARE BUT I GOTTA IMPLY ONE OR THE OTHER DON’T I) last year, during June.

And he just didn’t tell anyone bc A. everyone was busy w/their own lives, B. Roach was doing his usual Pride Month stuff, and Izzy always helps him film/cook/etc for any bigger projects whenever he can, and he didn’t wanna distract from that, and C. he and his mum had a Complex relationship, so he probably wasn’t going to go visit her before she died anyway (secretly, he wishes he had. Only one who knows anything abt how Izzy and his mum interacted is Ed, who tbh has gotten distracted from any of that stuff since meeting Stede and focusing on helping create the shared family they have w/Mary, Doug, and the kids. Which is absolutely fair, but still. For the sake of their friendship, it will need Addressing of some kind, at some point.)

Like all of this is fine in theory, but it already feels sort of out of control? Bc like I then need to address in a finished version of B:

-Izzy and his mum

-Izzy and Ed

-Izzy and his relationship w/Ed, Stede, Mary, Doug, and the kids. Only bc there’s the implication that while it’s good and fairly easy work for Izzy, he occasionally does feel/get treated like The Help during work hours vs someone they actually know well who happens to work for them, and they sort of. Forget that once his shift is done for the day, he might still hang out just as a friend of the family, and they don’t always remember to turn off that Voice of talking To The Help in those moments (with it being noted that Roach and other crew members have witnessed this, but have leaned on Izzy to sort of give them permission to call it out, which of course he isn’t gonna do for fear of it fucking up their arrangement, and he doesn’t wanna job search in his mid-fifties. Which I think is valid enough lol.)

-Roach and his Pride Month problem (aka he’s got all the research in front of him, in this case the idea that he’ll highlight dishes that were beloved by notable/famous ppl w/in the LGBTQ community, but Actually, that isn’t always info that’s easy to find and some of it is more basic foods which he expected, and it’s fine, except he really wanted to challenge himself and maybe if he just looks a little more he can find something else-cut to two hours later and he’s asleep on his laptop. This isn’t even getting into the actual cooking and videoing of said cooking. He needs a Break.)

-Roach and Izzy addressing their mutual issue of ‘working too goddamn much, but not knowing how to take breaks and not feel Terrible and Useless during them.’ It isn’t necessarily hurting their relationship, but it is making them both more stressed than they need to be, and neither of them knows how to calm their brains down enough to understand that they can, in fact, budget for a small break or a vacation and nothing bad will happen.

-The kids and their implied issue w/mainly Mary and Stede (Ed and Doug hang back and are still doing the ‘I’m a new stepparent and I don’t wanna fuck up and overdo any of this, so I just sort of do what my spouse tells me to do re: the kids’ discipline/scheduling/etc), that they’re forcing them into an obscene amount of extra activities (including night tennis lessons, that require Izzy to also stay/work late, not getting them home until nearly ten at night, and himself then even later.) I don’t think they actually allow night tennis of any kind for kids unless it’s like. a fun now and again event, but to me it sounds exactly like what Mary and Stede would get talked into signing the kids up for. After all, it’ll look good on various school applications, and there’s nearly two whole hours after the after school study groups and other sports they play, surely the kids don’t want to sit and do nothing then? (spoiler alert: they do. they just want to sit and do nothing and be kids, which Mary and Stede do know, but have forgotten in the mess of getting divorced, then watching each other get remarried nearly right away, then realising it would easier/cheaper to try and share a home and keep the kids stable under one roof and moving everyone in together. Not an excuse, just an explanation.)

And that’s. So Much Stuff for one fic. And that’s WITHOUT figuring out what I want the main goal/ending to look like for sure. I won’t lie and say I’m good at multichaptered fics, I’m very much not, but I think that’s the only way Version B could work. And Version B, for what it’s worth, I think could be very satisfying and interesting as a read.

Version A, on the other hand, would be shorter, less dramatic, and would probably involve just Izzy and Roach, whereas Version B eventually would at least be referencing that like. The crew we know and love still work for Ed and Stede and whatever they do in this modern AU (marketing that only involves nautical/maritime/marine life themes maybe? does it matter in the end if it gets mentioned vaguely all of once???)

Even then, we still have the issue of: where in the FUCK is any of this going? What’s the point?

Version A, to me rn, is much more focused on rizzy and the internal dynamic there, focusing hard on the comfort of their life together and tackling problems together. I could probably just pull together something cute abt Izzy trying to fix the latest crepe cake while Roach films his first Pride video. Like my current tentative ending isn’t horrible. Nothing to write home abt, but it’s Fine, ya know?

Version B, to me again dlksajf, is a bigger overall picture that frustratingly, as of yet, doesn’t have a real huge or distinct end goal. It’s less of a ‘here’s a set ending with clear wins and losses’ and more of a ‘life and ppl are messy, no matter how hard anyone tries. Everyone here is doing their best, and learning. Here’s how they’re doing by the end and what they’ve managed to learn/work on, with the implication that they’re gonna keep learning and doing better, but not without fucking up more first bc. Human’

But are either of those actually fucking satsifying???? I wish I knew!!! I was absolutely flying along writing the draft for Version B until all of the above shit knocked on the door of my brain and put up a goddamn roadblock!!!

This is so much info, but if you’ve read this far and have any thoughts/opinions on which of these seems more worth pursuing, please let me know somehow. I’m dying to brainstorm & bounce ideas around w/folks. But even if u just wanna say ‘nah Version A sucks do B’ or vice versa. Pls say it fdksafalk

#text post #long post #will very much appreciate anyone's input even if it is just to say you like Version A vs B or vice versa flkdjsalkfj #it's almost one am i should go shower #but I'm just not...feeling sleeping rn #i could clean up and pull out the laptop after when I'm in bed proper but eughhhh what if I kill my tiny bit of motivation #by getting up and doing other stuff #THIS WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE ROACH AND IZZY COOKING SOMETHING TOGETHER FOR PRIDE AND BEING CUTE HOW DID I FUCKING GET HERE

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sdqhtxt · 1 year ago

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cognitive dissonance

i'd like to think i wasn't stupid, but sometimes the decisions i make are bordering on brainless if not just actively harmful to myself. how have i already felt like i've fucked up a little bit too much after it's been barely two months into 2024? tbh though, i feel like i think that a lot of things could work a lot better if i just learnt to put in care into things that were worth it. i care really, but maybe not just for the right things at this point.

being on dating apps and meeting new people have made it much easier for me to distract myself from the more real issues that plague me. but honestly that's probably much cheaper than actually going back to therapy and meeting a psychiatrist. honestly wish i was more scummy so i could care a lot less for the people i will probably have to hurt inevitably at some point. there are some things i wish i had put a strong full stop on, rather than leaving them so open ended and so easily continued.

honestly if the cycle of me drinking too much and then very much regretting my own actions as someone who was basically black out repeat again, i will just have to quit drinking. probably easier said than done when i personally think that drunk sadi is much easier to be than sober sadi. sober sadi thinks too much, but i guess drunk sadi thinks too little.

my brain keeps hopping from one thought to another and i kind of deeply wished that it would stop, really. i worry about some of the stupidest things. even right now i'm worrying about work and how incapable i feel because of things that aren't exactly in my control. i also worry about how much i'm liked by people i honestly shouldn't care that much about. (but that's probably me not facing up to how much i actually like them as a person.)

another thought that keeps swirling in my head is my apparent incapability to be loved as i am. who am i really right? i tried explaining this to a friend recently but i couldn't really do it very well. what is the image i give to people really? i know that i appear a little silly (that's just something that's true) or maybe that people think i'm too easy because i tend to easily allow people back into my life. do i make you feel special? do you just like who you are when i'm around rather than my presence? bcos it feels like that a lot.

i think that things would be so much easier if all my relationships with people had a label on them - "friend", "someone to fuck", "stranger" - i don't enjoy not knowing what i am to people and especially what people are to me. i hate when things aren't clear cut or that i don't know for sure even whether i might somehow be in love with someone. things being unclear truly just makes it so much more confusing to me.

a friend concisely putting this into a string of sentences that actually made sense actually made me tear up a little bit. maybe this is what i mean when i say i wish i was looked at as my own person, to be liked as who i am and not what i might be able to give you or what you think i could grant you. a wishing well full of the yearning of men who can't give me much more than a dinner or two or who can only spout empty compliments at me when they don't even know me that well.

it might be my fault in the end though, i keep putting up pretenses and catering myself to the people that i meet just so i don't have to face up to who i actually am. they don't deserve to know me but then sometimes my facade cracks and they somehow believe that they can somehow fix me. or that i've become someone who has layers and suddenly they want to know what lies beneath the mask. everybody trying to steal pieces of my heart as a little trophy when i know that they won't end up staying for any longer than just a while once they know the full extent of my "crazy".

i really do deeply wish that love was easy, or that to be loved was simple. it feels like i keep having to clarify - do you like me? or do you like how i make you feel? would it be the same if it was someone else who could make you feel special? would you preferably settle with someone who could give you those same kind of feelings and who doesn't harbor this kind of emotional baggage? am i actually special to you or do you just feel special around me?

my fault that i keep finding some kind of external validation from the kinds of people who probably just want to have sex with me. it's my problem that i can't seem to just have sex without wanting to get to know them before it, i care about the stupidest things really.

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mindrole · 1 year ago

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Yo, I somewhat lurk your blog because you make very fun and interesting posts!! Your takes are nice to read and your art is very nice; I simply avoid to reblog because I had this...vibe? I guess? That you wanted your posts to remain a little more hidden away.

That doesn't change the fact that I surely can't be the only one who lurks but certainly loves your work!!!

first of all, thank you for the kind words!!

tbh i kind of just rattled the post off and went to do stuff so i forgot about it, i didn't expect a response, so im super flattered!! (and a little embarassed, perhaps bashful)

its quite kind of you to send this...

the issue of reblogs: i dont mind at all!! as you may have noticed there are two or three posts i have locked reblogs for.. those are obviously NG (mostly either "my interpretation changed drastically so im disowning it" or "ill go back and fix it (<-art)") but everything else is A-OK ❤️ if i don't want something to be reblogged i will lock it. (usually i will leave in the tags or edit the post with the reason)

i love when my stuff is shared around!! and getting nice nonnies like you is always a lot of fun. to be honest i think because those dried up for a while i got a stir crazy

really i'm like, a very sociable person, i like to bounce ideas off of others even if its indirect and even i get really neurotic about stuff. so i read every tag and interaction with a big goofy smile on my face. i like feeling seen, and most people would not disagree that it's nice. so it's like this... i am... a huge geek

i want to be less sheepish about posting in the main tag too. the initial bad experience i had (and caused myself, i don't wanna deny that) can't really be helped anymore, but eventually i wanna be brave about it. i wanna shake off the weird mindset of "i've already ruined my shot so i should stop posting in the tag, everyone probably already has a big ❌️ on me anyway." (if someone doesn't want to see my stuff they probably already have me blocked... so its fine!!! or they can just scroll past. im not taking up any space i shouldn't. i have to learn this!!!)

there are a lot of things i don't tag because either i'm afraid my sense of humor is too esoteric and/or mean spirited or because it is a junk doodle (not in a self deprecating way, its just not something i wanna put in the tag). also cuz i post a lot, it is kind of spam-y. recently i got an ask asking why i hate httr... of course i don't!!! but i love making fun of that baby man so much. so im also wary of maybe, i might upset someone without that context and they think i'm openly posting character hate. that kind of thing, i worry TOO much

(don't worry, that ask was really funny, even if it scrambled my brain a bit)

i think a lot of people who might enjoy the blog also may bounce after reading my pinned and seeing that i don't tag spoilers. that's ok, i hope someone translates the interlude soon because somehow even in its short duration i love it a lot. com is coming out soon too!!! eventually the stock of those characters will rise and they will gain more fans and they will come across my blog and go, woah, this crazy person drew so much art prerelease!!!!. azuma's stock... will also rise!!!

at the end of the day my philosophy is that fan works are things we share out of love and passion, loving the works of others and making are like a symbiotic relationship, one cannot exist without the other. seeing other people's stuff makes me wanna make too. that kind of thing. this applies to both fan work and original work actually.

sorry you got subjected to my mentally ill ramble... im really thankful to have gotten this ask genuinely.. it super made my day

i hope you continue to enjoy the blog ^^

#ask #anonymous #sorry i talked your ear off #i think i really am hormonal right now you know how it is

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bisluthq · 1 year ago

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I haven’t read all the asks fully because they’re very long and someone seemed upset by the way we were talking about Joe. They said he probably wasn’t as bad as we’re making him out to be.

I will just share my opinion. I know all couples have their ups and downs, I know everyone fights at some points. But I think how you react during those fights and how you fix those problems is the important part. I understand that we only have Taylor’s point of view here, but tbh I never thought their fights sounded healthy.

In my opinion, they met at a time when she needed to “run away”. At the time, she loved that Joe wanted to “hide” with her, but at some point she didn’t want to hide anymore and Joe didn’t want to deal with that level of attention. I blame neither and both of them for this. Joe shouldn’t have been with someone as big as Taylor if she needed her to hide for the rest of her life, because I’m sure it gets tiring. But Taylor also shouldn’t be dating someone who likes to be private when she loves attention. They had set up “rules” and Taylor completely changed her mind, but at the same time Joe should’ve expected it.

I think Joe clearly loved her and treated her well, but many people settle into relationships and stop paying attention to their partner, it’s very common, but it doesn’t mean he wanted to break up or didn’t want to marry her.

I don’t know if Loverfest was that way for Andrea or Joe or both. But either way, I think she would’ve been willing to tour less for Joe, while Joe was taking up jobs in Panama in a moment’s notice missing all her Red TV stuff and her birthday.

If Taylor had only talked about Joe “not caring” in YLM I would understand saying that maybe that wasn’t necessarily the case, but it’s a theme in other songs too. It’s something she thought was cool at first but something she hated in the end.

The Great War also shows a lack of trust there but they might have worked through that one since I think that was towards the beginning of their relationship.

I’ve seen many people say that without the pandemic they would’ve lasted more and I disagree. I think the pandemic made them last more than they would’ve if their 6 years together had been normal years.

Towards the end, I think she was frustrated because Joe was more focused on his work than he was on marrying her which made her feel like he didn’t want her anymore. I do believe her when she says Joe didn’t see what she was going through but I also believe it’s her fault for not communicating. You can’t just expect people to “read the signs” be a ducking adult and tell them how you’re feeling. But that’s also why I believe Joe wasn’t expecting a break up. There might have been some fights, but they’d gone through that before and I think he believed they would get through it, but he didn’t realize how much it was all affecting her.

I believe they’ve always had issues with communication. I think Taylor liked Joe’s drive but at some point she didn’t like that his job was always put first. She should’ve communicated that to him but she didn’t. But at the same time Joe should’ve been more aware.

All in all, I think a break up was going to happen sooner or later because they had some issues that they weren’t really resolving

I mean, without the pandemic they might’ve lasted longer in the sense that Taylor blew up in the insane way she now has with folklore - which was the soundtrack of the pandemic. I do think she was toying with going into an adultier sound after Lover (she implied that in Miss Americana) but I think it wouldn’t have become as popular as it did if everyone wasn’t extremely sad at the time. That said, I don’t buy the fact that the fame was what “drove them apart” or anything. I think there was a lot of love there, but a lot of issues, and as you say they weren’t really resolving them so ultimately they broke up.

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lynn-writes-things · 3 years ago

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Ok you touched upon it in your GOD TIER relationship writing but could you do headcanons for the jjk men that focus on how possessive and/or jealous they are with their partner? ☺️ Thanks

oh ASBOLUTELY I can!! thank you for the request!! :) I'm lovin' these haha

jealousy, jealousy - jjk men

starring: Yuji Itadori; Megumi Fushiguro; Yuta Okkotsu; Toge Inumaki; Noritoshi Kamo; Satoru Gojo; Suguru Geto; Toji Fushiguro; Naoya Zenin; Choso Kamo; Ryomen Sukuna

cw: some of these get pretty suggestive!! ; very very very brief mention of a knife k!nk in Toji's, but I promise I did not elaborate at all I promise <3

Yuji Itadori:

1/10

he only really gets jealous if you're laughing at some guy's jokes if he doesn't already know him, cause he likes being the person to make you laugh the most :(

ngl he gets a teensy bit pouty even if one of his friends make you laugh harder than he does :((

he's not overbearing tho, he gets that you're your own person and can talk to/laugh with whoever you want, but he might get a bit irked every now and then

he'll probably come up and throw his arms around you, or kiss your cheek, and tbh he's such a social dude that he'd probably start talking to the guy

(tbh they'd probably become friends, it's Yuji, man just goes around being his sweet himbo self and ends up collecting a new buddy everywhere he goes)

Megumi Fushiguro:

7/10? mayyybe 8/10?

he's super insecure in himself, having such a rollercoaster of an upbringing will do that to ya'

idk he just doesn't see himself as being as he really is, he's got a lot of childhood trauma that keeps his self-confidence stunted

(because evidently Fushiguro men cannot grasp the concept of therapy)

he'll either come up and grab your hand/pull you into a side hug or somethin' along those lines

nothing too extreme, he's not big on pda ya know?

OR he gets really pouty and reserved

you'll have to get him alone and ask him what's wrong, pls help him figure out how to talk through his problems dude, he needs the helping hand

reassurance and affection will fix him right up, don't you worry!!

the key to fixing a pouty Megumi is just lots of love <3

ngl if you're gonna throw in some minimal spice here, he'd totally be the type to mark you up that night (probably not anywhere too visible, he's still Megumi, still a very easily flustered baby boy <3)

Yuta Okkotsu:

2/10

he's got a bit of insecurity in himself, but ever since making friends with his classmates he's really gotten better with his confidence!

sure, dating you kinda shook his nerves back up, but he trusts you completely, he doesn't think you'd ever cheat on him, so he doesn't really get too worried about it ya know?

that's MOST of the time

sometimes someone will just rub him the wrong way and he'll step in, usually just kinda hugging you from behind or kissing your cheek/forehead or somethin' like that

he'll definitely make a point of calling you by a cute petname while doing it too

like a lil' "Hey baby!" or "Hi, love!!" :) <3

Toge Inumaki:

7/10, bordering an 8/10

he's just.. insecure :(

between the seals on his mouth and his limited speech, he just doesn't really feel like he can give you the kind of love that you deserve

cause he's too worried about uncovering his mouth to kiss you in public, and he can't fucking talk to you

it just makes him feel bad, like you deserve better

that being said, he doesn't wanna lose you, so he will absolutely fight for you if someone tries to flirt with you

he's got no issue with other forms of pda, so he'll come over and wrap his arms around you, put his head on your shoulder, or he'll just straight up grab your arm and pull you away (not hard, baby boy would never ever hurt you)

he might get pretty pouty tho, probably get pretty in his own head about it

so you'll have to kiss him and hold his hand and reassure him that you love him, that he's more than enough for you, and that you'd never want anyone else - just him <3

now.... I have touched on this......

if Toge can TELL that you're playing it up and TRYING to make him jealous?

ngl it kinda turns him on if you're doing it on purpose lmoa

this mf is NOT afraid to leave visible hickeys <3

let's just say he's gonna make damn sure that you know you are his <3

Noritoshi Kamo:

hmmmmmmmmmm, 5/10? maybe?

idk it's hard to gauge with him cause he refuses to act on his feelings for the sake of saving face publicly

like he absolutely gets jealous, but he'll never really show how jealous he is

he'll just kinda come up and say that he needs you for something

or generally come up with an excuse for you needing to leave

if he's REALLY jealous then he'll lead you away with his hand on your wrist or arm

he's definitely the type to talk to you about it once you're alone together

you won't have to force it out of him (like a certain somebody) cause he wants to clear things up right away

he's got enough stress goin' on, he doesn't want your relationship to be stressful too, so he's big on communication <3

he's a verrry affectionate guy in private, so if you reassure him of your love and give him lots of cuddles and kisses then he'll relax and be happy <3 :)

Satoru Gojo:

9/10 if you add in the possessive factor

if we take away the possessiveness, mayyyybe closer to like a 4/10

Gojo is one cocky son of a bitch, but he is also a fucking ball of bottled up trauma, ya know?

he trusts you as much as he can, but again, trauma comes into play here

man has deep rooted trust issues and until he properly addresses and works through them with you, he can't allow himself to fully trust that you won't leave him out of nowhere too

ANYWAYS

he's good at fronting ya know? so if someone's making him jealous, he's apt to just cling to you like a child and flash the dude the cockiest fuckin' grin after he kisses your cheek super obnoxiously (we're talking full blown "shmack!" noises)

"Made a new friend, my lil' mochi? Whatcha talkin' about? Hm?"

nowwwww if you TRY making him jealous, he will not take the bait

he will simply wait until you are alone (even if that means dragging you into a closet somewhere) and uh... he'll make sure everyone in a nearby radius hears you say exaactly who you belong to <3

Suguru Geto:

ahhhhh, the cunning, conniving, cocky bastard himself <3

0/10 tbh

like I said in the other post, he's too confident in himself and in his trust for you to really get jealous

he is possessive tho, but in a really cocky way??

if he sees someone getting a lil too friendly with you, he'll come right up and sling his arm around you, kiss your temple, and just join right into the conversation

if the guy stops talking (cause Suguru is fucking intimidating with how calm and collected he carries himself) then he's very quick to fill the silence

"Oh, don't stop on my account. You were saying? Something about how nice my baby looks, right? Go on, continue, aren't they stunning?"

all the while he's got this mf look in his eyes, his smug ass grin, he doesn't even have to say anything to get the message across

"Bet you wish you were me, huh?"

ngl there's also a quiet implied threat, like he's daring the guy to actually speak up

alternatively he will give you a look

I'm thinkin one eyebrow slightly raised, unamused expression

this mostly happens if you're the one trying to make him jealous

all in all this look of his towards you has a very clear message of "Get over here now or you will regret it"

yes sir 🛐

Kento Nanami:

another 0/10

not the jealous type, he trusts you completely and he's pretty confident in himself

he's very good at communication, and he's willing to do anything to make things work, so he's not worried about anyone stealing you away from him

the only time I can really see him stepping in is if someone's flirting with you and you're clearly uncomfortable and the guy isn't letting up

it's then that your big strong prince charming will swoop in and put his arm around you, or just kinda step in front of you and firmly tell the guy that you are taken

Nanami can be a pretty intimidating guy when he wants to be, so it's very likely that the guy will back off

if not? well, Nanami knows how to fight, and he isn't afraid to get his hands dirty if it means saving you from some creep <3

oh-ho, but if you try to make him jealous? giggling, maybe throwing in some light touches to the guy's bicep or somethin?

he knows what you're doing. ha.. haha.... oh honey, you ain't walkin' tomorrow :)

Toji Fushiguro:

hehe

10/10, possibly an 11/10

like I said, my man's a double whammy, he's jealous AND possessive

he trusts you to the best of his abilities, but it's very very hard for him, ya know?

everyone who was supposed to love him growing up only ever hurt him, then the one person who he loved, who taught him how to love and to be loved, fucking died

so, he's scared, trusting somebody scares the hell out of him, but he does trust you as much as he can let himself (it'll get better as time goes on, but ya know, it's just gonna take a bit)

basically what I'm getting at here, he's still not totally certain that you're gonna stick around (and quite honestly, he doesn't know why you do in the first place)

he is also MAD possessive tho, you are his and he does not intend on sharing <3

if he sees another man so much as look at you twice then he's pulling you closer, wrapping his arm around you, kissing you, throwin' out lil "Hey there, doll" and stuff like that

if you happen to be away from him (say he went to the bathroom or something) and comes back to see some guy with you, if you look even mildly uncomfortable, or if he can see you trying to get the dude to leave you alone, and he won't.......

hehe, that dude is gonna be napping for a bit! ......on the ground! ...........in the middle of the bar! ......he might wanna invest in some concealer for the black eye tho :')

he's scared you're gonna leave, but make no mistake, nobody is fuckin' takin' you from him without a mf fight

no matter the circumstance, a jealous Toji is a very good assurance that you uh.. yeah.. yeah I think you get where I'm goin' with this

he is not afraid to leave visible marks on that pretty neck of yours <3

ngl my knife k!nk is gonna scare people away here so I'm just gonna keep that on inside! use your imagination!! :)

Naoya Zenin:

8/10

he's honestly a pretty insecure guy who tries to act overly confident to mask it cause his clan taught him that any signs of weakness will make him unworthy

his family is just so damn strict with him, always has been, always making him feel like if he makes one slight wrong move then he's just a total fuck up

that translates to his relationship with you, he's terrified of making a mistake, he's constantly overthinking things and feels like he's screwing things up with you all the time

he just never feels like he's "good enough"

that being said, if someone's gonna try and steal you from him, they're in for a fuckin' fight

much like Toji, he may be insecure, but he loves you too much to let anybody take you away from him <3

if someone's flirting with you - hell, if some guy so much as looks at you wrong - he's grabbing you and kissing you

not a peck, no, he'll kiss you like it's the last thing he's ever gonna do

he's gonna leave you breathless and EVERYONE is gonna know that you're his <3

Choso Kamo:

1/10

I was gonna give him a 0/10, but I started thinking more about this

he's not quite a cocky man, but he is very sure of himself and confident

and for him to love you means that he trusts you completely

but he knows that he's kinda.. not really up to date on a lot of things

he wonders a lot why you'd rather be with him than someone who can relate more to you and understand your little references

(help, now I'm just picturing Choso as fucking Steve Rodgers, after you start introducing him to more media he'll just start fucking going "I understood that reference!!" and be so proud of himself)

ANYWAYS

like I said tho, he isn't much a jealous guy, but he is cautious, so he'll step in if he sees you talking to a guy he doesn't know

either just stands by you lookin' all intimidating, or he'll wrap his arms around you

he won't say anything to the guy, I think he'd just kinda stand there (menacingly), givin' the guy a look

if he does recognize the guy then he's a lot more chill about it, unless the guy happens to be a known slut like Gojo or Geto

even then, he knows they won't try anything if he's by you, so he'll just be a lil extra clingy <3

Ryomen Sukuna:

0/10 for jealousy, 1000/10 for possessiveness

ain't NOBODY touching you <3

some guy dares to flirt with you? haha, hey buddy, how's hell treatin' ya?

if he's in a good mood then murder can be avoided, but the guy will prooobably be scared shitless when faced with a big scary Sukuna giving him a death-glare

big scary guard dog <3

he also doesn't ever leave your side because of his possessiveness, like he is always right there, always holding onto you in some way or another

you are his and he will not fucking share <3

no one shall even have the slightest chance <3

oh, but I mean, obviously if he gets even mildly riled up, he's obviously gonna have to "remind you" that you're his, and his alone :) <3

#jjk x reader #yuji itadori x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader #toge inumaki x reader #noritoshi kamo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #suguru geto x reader #kento nanami x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #naoya zenin x reader #choso kamo x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader

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yandereloversblog · 2 years ago

Text

𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐘𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒

Random discussion I wanted to do cuz it's a shower thought about TR. It started as Bonten Mikey but it also fitted other characters and it turned into an essay >>'

Also incoming editing to these yandere discussions cuz I finally have a layout XD

Like your yandere asking you if you love them and you answering yes because Stockholm Syndrome, scared you'll get hurt more or punished and all that bullshit. Then that asshole hits you with the "Then how about we die together? Kill ourselves at the same time while holding eachother?" Cuz they're too tired to live but you huff and say no.

Before they can throw another temper tantrum/punish you you're gonna respond with "The afterlife isn't known at all, whether our souls might find each other there isn't guaranteed either, or if we'll be reincarnated at the same time. So I want to keep living with you for as long as I can and make even more memories. Maybe they'll help me find you again in our next life." And smile.

They turn so red from blushing and probably start crying cuz they think you love them so much, promising they'll make sure you two keep living together for a very long time while cuddling closely to you and clinging for dear life. Apologizing profusely about how they even brought it up and it was so insensitive to ask you to die with them when you wanted to live for such a lovely reason.

Meanwhile you're probably tied to the bed comforting them, with some will to live and escape left in you and you're not gonna let this lover's suicide trope ruin it.

Mikey for sure, that bitch just added 20 more years to his life because of this 💀 especially Bonten Mikey, like you saw light flash in his dead eyes for a minute when you were talking before he broke down crying. Kanto Mikey would break down too, a lot more queitly while clinging to you but he's sobbing and choking out apologies. I'm not even gonna bringing up Toman Mikey/Manila Mikey, cuz we know they'd start crying immediately and probably kneel for forgiveness cuz they wanted to end everything just because they were done with life when they should be greatful for even being able to breath the same air as you since you love them back.

Sanzu too, man just can't believe you actually wanna continue being with him after everything he's done. In Bonten it probably happens after Mikey fell from the roof with Takemichi and now he feels he can't protect you either but how dare you give him another reason to live? Meanwhile with Kanto and Toman Sanzu they fall in love all over again. Tbh they all probably gave you a mocking grin and said "So you finally learned." But bitch even the blind can see how he's shaking and crying without even realizing it. If you say "I love you" after that expect him to break down.

Kazutora, best way to manipulate this yandere hoe is like that, I feel like he turned so red and suddenly drank 247 energy drinks because he can't calm down or even go to sleep when remembering your words. Like do you actually mean that? Really? You love him that much? Is he even deserving of it? He was just about to let both of you rest but now his obsession got worse. Most definitely apologized for one or two hours and kept saying he loved you and would make sure you two lived as much as possible.

Izana, he might end up saying some "So you think I won't find you after we die? I'll drag you to hell with me if I have to!" But it's with a trembling voice and he's still tearing up cuz his abandonment issues are getting lowkey fixed. You wanna stay with him even after he's punished you so harshly? Of course you do, how could he doubt that you would want to die when you could live with him instead? Izana genuinely apologized for even bringing this up -ONE apology though- and he ended up giving you more privileges to breath after, probably began acting softer too.

Senju would have to be at a really low point in her life to ask that of you but you just made her do a 180 because this just confirmed you love her too right? Then as long as you want to live like that she will too! It's easy to escape her but if Senju managed to lock you down and you end up saying that to her??? Please get ready to be somewhat free again because she trusts that you love her and won't escape.

We also have Shinichiro, Chifuyu, Hakkai, Souya, Takemichi and Hinata who would fall for your words but they'd never try to do a double suicide cuz they don't want you to die or get hurt, especially not by them.

Naoto, Kakucho, Inui, Koko, Rindou, Emma, Yuzuha and Shion -Shion is kind of easily manipulated shush- would also never ask you of such a thing because they don't want to die when they have you in their life but there's a 1000% chance they fall for your words and become softer.

Meanwhile people like Draken, Ran, Mitsuya, Taiju, Baji, Muto, Nahoya, Mochi, Benkei and Kisaki are mostly moved by your words, like get that doki doki feeling but it probably was a test and you passed it with flying colors. They also don't trust you that well so nothing much changed other than they don't feel as suffocation as before.

With Hanma, Bonten Koko, Bonten Ran, Wakasa, Takeomi, South and Bad Toman Kisaki it definitely was a test and they don't believe you but are glad to know their punishments are working and you behave so well now/got Stockholm Syndrome.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere tokyo revengers #yandere tokyo rev #yandere tokrev #yandere tokyo revengers x reader #yandere discussions

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beautifulblooms · 3 years ago

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Hi! Can you go an Eddie Munson x Male reader where the reader works at family video with Steve and Robin. Steve and Robin would be talking about their girl problems and one of them would say to the reader “You’re lucky you don’t have girl problems” and then the reader talking about how he has boy problems (referring to his massive crush on Eddie Munson). Then either Eddie Munson literally walks into family video to go see the reader or something (how cliche I’m sorry) and then something happens from there (Sorry this really isn’t a very good end to my idea, if you have a better idea feel free to do it) Thank you!!!

Hawkins' Pretty Boy - Eddie Munson x Male!Reader

Male!Reader, I'm not a super huge fan of how this one turned out tbh, I might rewrite it in the next couple weeks, tried to stay as close to the request as possible, it kinda ended in a cliffhanger, thats about it

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

Tags: @qthetherapist, @rlmt1, @eddieverse, @alexs-playground

“Steve, you're not listening to me, if we both combined it would fix all of our romantic issues.” Robin has spent the last 25 minutes restocking complaining about her girl troubles, I don’t mind it but it gets more annoying when Steve is doing the exact same shit.

“How would that fix our issues? We want two completely different girls!” Stave just about shouted putting a couple movies back where they belong roughly.

“That’s why we need to combine! I know what I want but don’t know how to approach her, and you don’t know what you want but know how to approach girls, understand yet dingus?” Robin leaned up against one wall of the store, Steve following suit and processing everything she said.

“That would fix everything, cause then I’d know what I want and you’d actually make a move!” Robin sighed but laughed at Steve’s almost childish antics.

“Ouch but yes, we’d never have another girl problem!” They both looked rather accomplished in this discovery, only to look back at me checking through the returned movies. “How about you (y/n), any girl troubles?”

“Not exactly girl problems Robin…” Both of them took a second to realize what I said before Robin dropped everything in her hands and ran around the counter to body slam me into a hug.

“I FINALLY HAVE A GAY FRIEND!” I smiled a little while hugging her back, guess now was a better time than any to tell them about it, not like any of us had a problem with it to begin with. “Well then let me rephrase my question, any boy problems?” She looked all too smug while asking me that.

“Not really a problem, but I might have a small crush on a guy, he’s nice and I’ve known him for a while but I’m not sure if he’s…ya know, ya know?” Robin had stepped back to listen to my little gay rant about my crush.

“Well, you know who we're going after, why don’t you tell us who your ‘little crush’ is.” Steve had picked up whatever Robin dropped before and walked over to the counter to set them down.

“Promise you won’t judge me for who I say?” Robin looked almost offended at me asking that, Steve just seemed confused.

“Why would we judge you, c’mon tell us.” Taking a deep breath I figured there wasn’t anything bad that would come from me telling them.

“I uh, I like Eddie…” Steve’s jaw dropped and Robin had a smirk that was all too smug.

“I should’ve known from how often you stutter when he comes in to rent something, speak of the devil,” Robin cut her sentence short and pointed to the door where Eddie was walking in with a few VHS cases in his hands.

“Why are you pointing at me Buckley, I do something wrong?” Shrugging his shoulders he walked closer to the desk where I stood, now turned around to face him, and put the cases down to return them.

“Oh nothing, don’t do anything stupid, were still open ya know.” Robin grabbed the stack of VHSs that she was previously putting back onto the shelf.

“What’s she mean by that?” Eddie looked adorable, puppy dog eyes looking into mine like he just got caught stealing from the cookie jar, god how can I lie to this man.

“Um, we were just talking about some uh random stuff before you came in, what um movies are you returning?” I knew what he had rented last time he was here, it was a bad habit of overly paying attention to what he likes and what he rents.

“Back to the future, Jaws, and Psycho, pretty good but probably would’ve been better watching with someone else.” He almost seemed disappointed that he didn’t have anyone to watch them with.

“The Eddie Munson doesn’t have a girl to watch movies with? Now you’re telling me the impossible.” I tried to play off my excitement that he didn’t have someone to watch with, not in a sadistic way, hopeful that I had a shot.

“Well I wouldn’t really want a girl to watch with anyways, don’t need 2 scream queens right?” His question was overly sarcastic, but it made me even more hopeful he was also into guys.

“Well you’ve always got a friend down here to watch with, that is if you want to watch with someone like me, heh. Is there anything you wanna rent next or just returning these today?” I sounded way too obvious when I hinted at watching movies with him, really hoping he didn’t acknowledge it.

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer, what’s your favorite movie, we can have a date night at my place.” That smile would get me into trouble one of these days, too cute.

“Oh um, Top Gun is one of my favorites, you’d really want a date with me?” I tried to hold back the excitement in my voice, he said he wanted a date night, with me, at his place, this is like a dream.

“Of course I’d love a date with Hawkins’ pretty boy, I’ll go find that movie, put it on my account will ya?” Holy shit holy shiy holy shit, he thought I was a pretty boy.

“I’ll cover it, on the house.” He turned back to me and gave me that adorable smile. He ran to get the movie, this was gonna be fun.

#eddie munson x male reader #eddie x male reader #eddie stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson #male reader fanfic #male reader #eddie munson stranger things

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