#tbh it could use a lot of editing now but hey!

[delusional-day-dreamer]

Sleepy Girl - p.b.

‣ paige bueckers x gf reader!

‣ wc: 2k of smut 😛

‣‣ synopsis: waking up in the morning horny and ur girlfriend is right there tbh (ending is kinda rushed and the fic is not yet edited so please bear with me)

‣‣‣ a/n: hey guys... i know i completely ghosted this app for a good while but thank you for all the support even while i was MIA. this idea came to me at 11pm on vacation and i figured i should grind it out and make a return. i have a lot of drafts and ideas i came up with but no idea if i'll be able to write them all. in the meantime enjoy and happy holidays!

The warm sunlight spilling in to your bedroom and directly onto your face from the small gap in your curtains seemed to have it out against you.

It was one of the incredibly rare weekends of the season, where your girlfriend, Paige, didn’t have morning practice, lifting, or any PT sessions for residual pain after coming back home late from a basketball game (UConn won, obviously) and the two of you planned to make the most of it.

Having been in a relationship for almost a year now, the two of you had gotten to know each other pretty well over time. From working with the basketball team as a photographer to sharing a class with Paige, to running into each other literally everywhere every single day, metaphorically and physically, the universe seemed to have an intricate plan to bring the two of you together. And with such insistent force, who were the two of you to rebel?

The past ten months dating Paige had been a small roller coaster, the days spent together blissfully were obviously accompanied by the occasional argument of time management or messy rooms or even slight jealousy, but it was nothing the two of you couldn’t work through.

And of course, it was all accompanied by the mind blowing sex you couldn’t stop having. Bent over the kitchen counter, in the shower, in the living room, standing up, from the back, you name it.

But, there was one thing you and Paige had discussed exploring, but never gotten the chance to pursue, and it seemed like this morning was the perfect chance to test it out.

Depending on who woke up first, the two of you often liked to wake the other up with gentle kisses, roaming hands, and sweet nothings. But your synced ovulation cycles brought on a new possibility: morning head.

Although the concept of fucking your girlfriend while she was asleep seemed… well, odd to say the least, the two of you had discussed consent extremely thoroughly, and you weren’t going to sit (or lay in this instance) here and pretend that the sight of Paige laying in your bed right now wasn’t actively turning you on.

She had come to your off campus apartment immediately after her game at XL center and crashed pretty fast, only stopping to shower change into an old, oversized yet cropped off the shoulder sweatshirt of yours and a pair of boxers she left in your drawers.

Currently, she was conveniently splayed out on her back, her left arm stretched above her head raised the hem of your sweatshirt upwards, exposing the curve of her chest and the slightest glimpse of her pink nipples, which were already slightly peaked from the cold air radiating from your fan.

It didn’t take long for you to make up your mind, softly crawling over to rest in between her legs as you leaned over her sleeping figure, using your left hand to gently lift the fabric over her perky tits, exposing her creamy skin to you. You slowly peppered kisses on her boobs, not wanting to create too much stimulation that would wake her before you got to the more exciting part. Although, you weren’t sure you would have to worry about that. Paige could sleep through a hurricane if she was tired enough.

You nipped and sucked at her chest, making sure to pay special attention to her nipples before beginning your descent down her toned abs, bringing your hands to rub at her thighs simultaneously.

Paige groaned softly in her sleep, unconsciously spreading her legs out wider as your fingers danced over the waistband of her boxers.

Deciding that there was no reason to be a tease, especially with the growing ache in between your own legs, you hooked your fingers in her boxers and pulled them downwards, being extremely careful when taking them off her body fully and throwing them off into a corner of your room.

You shift lower, aligning your face with Paige’s already wet cunt as you grip her thighs and blow into her folds lightly, gently arousing her.

You start softly, small kisses and hickeys leading inwards before you finally allow your tongue to lick a long stripe from her entrance up to the sensitive bundle of nerves that made her breath slightly hitch.

Even in her sleep, Paige’s body was actively reacting to the growing pleasure as you circled her clit with your tongue and hummed into her, sending shockwaves running through her body, legs spreading, mouth dropping open with low moans, and back arching.

And yet, she was still asleep. You had no interest in waking her up forcefully, it would defeat the whole purpose of morning head. So, you dutifully detached your lips from her clit, opting to replace it with your thumb as you run your fingers through the slick she had accumulated before inserting your middle finger into her, curling it upwards in the way you knew she loved, which seemed to do the trick.

Her eyes began to flutter open the moment you added in your ring finger, mouth dropping with a groan as her right hand reaches out to cup the side of your face.

"Good morning," you rasp out, your breath hot against her sensitive cunt as you smirk at the already fucked out expression on her face.

"Fuck baby, God I didn’t think it would be this good when we talked about-”

Her sleepy whines were cut off with another loud moan as you reattached your lips to her clit, pressing into her g-spot with your fingers while simultaneously sucking her clit, small laughs vibrating through her core as you watched her body shudder at your actions. Her hand immediately moved up to your scalp, placing a firm grip in your head as she secured your spot deep between her legs, anchoring you in place.

"Aw shit ma, fuck you're so good at that, right there just like that, such a good fucking girl for me, don't stop mama you're gonna make me cum," her breathless rambles were endless as she used her left hand to play with her already exposed nipples.

The added stimulation pushed her closer to the edge, and it wasn't long before her muscular thighs began to shake around your head, closing around the sides of your face as she began to grind her hips into your mouth, chasing every second of her orgasm as her mouth hung open with cries.

She eventually let up after you finished licking her clean, even making a show of pulling your fingers out of her and sucking her juices off of them. Her gaze darkens as she pulls you up and over her body once again, capturing your lips in a deep kiss.

She nips at your bottom lip before pulling away, feigning annoyance in her tone. "As much as I loved the little stunt you pulled just now, shit pissed me off too. Brought this up in the first place cause I wanted to surprise you."

"Actin' like it's that big of a deal P, you can just do it a different morning," you teased, hand running up and down her side.

"Mm, whatever. All I care about right now is gettin' you right ma," she mumbles against your lips, reconnecting your lips as she slips her tongue into your mouth, grabbing your ass and rolling your hips into her at the same time.

"Nuh uh, it's your day to pillow princess. Lemme spoil you a little bit. You're still tired and sore from your game yeah? Besides, I have a better idea," you insisted, rising up and straddling her waist.

You shoved your sweater off her body before Paige's large hands pulled your grey tank top up and over your head, tossing it somewhere either of you couldn't be bothered to check. Her hand pressed into your mid back, forcing you to arch over her, conveniently placing your perky tits right over her mouth.

Her teeth scraped against your stiff peaks as her other hand, which had quickly returned to its place resting on your ass, began rocking your hips back and forth over her abs, drawing out deep sighs of pleasure from the multiple sources of friction and stimulation.

"Fuck Paige," you whined out, "why you gotta make it so hard for me to take care of you sometimes," you half-heartedly reprimanded, pinching her nipple roughly as you tore yourself away from her, shimmying your basically non-existent thong off as you resettled yourself in between her legs.

"Crawl up to the headboard," you demanded, raising your eyebrow at her inquisitive expression.

"Please," you added in with a soft pout, satisfied when she complied with your request. You eagerly followed her body, stationing your hands on her shoulders as you draped your right leg over her left, maneuvering her right in order to rest over your own left before gently lowering yourself down, hissing the moment your cores met.

You rolled your hips forward tentatively, moving your left hand down to Paige's right thigh while you sank forward, circling your other arm around her neck as you moaned against her lips.

The kiss was a needy, open mouthed mess of saliva and moans as you continued to roll your hips into Paige's with the help of her guiding hands, shocks of pleasure licking your spine every time your clits aligned.

As you approached closer to your orgasm, your head tipped back, mouth hung open with desperate, borderline pornographic whines constantly spilling out, impairing your ability to kiss Paige back. Though, she would never complain and simply kept her mouth busy by sucking hickeys along your neck and chest, whispering filthy words of encouragement into your skin.

"My girl's such a slut for me, huh? Riding me so good, pussy so wet she's dripping all over me, 's basically crying for me ma. You like that?"

Her gravely voice added to the fuzzy feeling that had taken over your brain, driven only by the tight coil threatening to snap any second in your belly. From the feeling of yours and Paige's warm slickness coating your entire cunt, to the deep throbbing you clit was experiencing.

You moved your left hand from Paige's thigh up to the headboard, using it to grind down harder against Paige's center, and the pressure on your clits had moans ringing out from both of you.

"God, Paige. So close baby, fuck I'm so close," you whined near incoherently, eyes screwed shut from the way your entire body was on fire, on the edge of immense pleasure.

She moved her mouth to the sweet spot behind your ear, nipping at the skin as she her fingers deftly began tweaking your nipples. "Cum for baby, give it to me. Please need it so bad."

You cry out as a freight train of an orgasm hits you, Paige's words and hands sending you over the edge, and the sight of you coming undone, not to mention the sounds you were letting out, left Paige no choice but to follow your lead.

Your body shuddered against hers, the pleasure slowly washing over you, leaving you breathless and extremely sensitive. You untangled your legs from Paige, collapsing on the bed next to her and pulling her down with you.

You kissed her sweetly, intimately, a far cry from the sex you were just having.

"I love you so much you know that?" You muttered against Paige's lips, cracking your eyes open to see the lazy smile set on her face.

"I love you too, even though I'm pissed you stole my surprise," she whispered defiantly.

"What you don't think those two orgasms made up for it? We can go for round two if you really insist," you smirked, knowing that there was no way your body could handle another orgasm immediately.

Before she can even answer, your stomach growled loudly, inciting loud laughter from both of you.

"How about we take care of that first yeah? We can go for round two in the shower after breakfast," she responded slyly, pulling you up and out of bed with her to get dressed and have breakfast together. To you, nothing in the world could beat mornings like these with Paige.

[koqabear]

Hiii congrats on 2k sol obsessed with everything you write!!!!💓 Could I request revisiting emo boy? Like what their relationship is like after and dates and how sex is like? Maybe beomgyu’s band really blows up and he’s quite busy, how does oc respond to this? And with smut? Tysm!!💝

playlist // beomgyu's encore outfit hehe // cont. of hey emo boy!

 “The day of your one-year anniversary with Beomgyu was expected to be spent away from each other— but not if either of you can help it, far too in love to let anything get in the way of you two.”

bassist!beomgyu x fem!reader // wc: 6.6K (everyone stfu rn) // genre: band au, opposites attract trope, established relationship, smut, tooth rotting fluff tbh, MDNI.

warnings: they are in love and it’s fucking GROSS!! barely edited, the two have hella piercings hehe (bg: snake bites, tongue, eyebrow // mc: smiley & nipple piercings) pet names (sweet thing, pretty, etc.) use of the L word bc they are literally obsessed w/ each other.

smut warnings: hard dom! gyu, sub!mc, needy sex sorry 😖, marking, manhandling, dry humping, biting, breast play, possessiveness, unprotected sex, bg picks the mc up, scratching, dacryphilia, dumbification, a lot of kissing lol, degrading, slight praise, fingering, creampie, cum eating…? lmk if i should add anything !

Notes: happy (late) birthday to the fic that’s probably my peak… this story single handedly changed the course of my blog me thinks. thank you to everyone who was just as affected by emo gyu as i was. 

Being in a committed relationship with Choi Beomgyu, bassist of Tomorrow x Together and an absolute unattainable heartthrob, was not very easy. 

It was at first; with their blossoming career, it was more about the music than their looks. Fans were loyal simply because they liked their sound, their message, the way their concerts were filled with such energy and passion it left their hearts beating with adrenaline after— but of course, it’s hard to not notice the absolute eye candy on stage; low-lidded gazes, dark stage lights that barely highlighted their stunning features, and clothing that was just as alluring and flattering as the rest of them; inevitably, their popularity sky-rocketed, for better and for worse. 

Beomgyu was left with more money than he knew what to do with. Most of the time, it was used to spoil you, his pretty girlfriend he brought with him everywhere because he was just too obsessed with you— it made his band members wonder if he simply had attachment issues by how much his world revolved around you. But no, you were just as bad as him; present during rehearsals, always in the studio to cheer them on or give them a second opinion on a new song; it wasn’t long before you ended up befriending the rest of them as well, a tight bond forming simply because of all the things you went through together. 

As unfortunate as it was, they weren’t the only ones forced to bear with negative and hateful encounters from the public; while they had their experiences of being mistreated early in their career, you had to deal with immature or creepy fans that had taken a liking to harass you— inboxes on all social media platforms flooded constantly, your number even leaked once as you were forced to buy a new phone all together from how badly you were being spammed— Beomgyu had been quick to lash out and tell them to leave you alone if they didn’t want a lawsuit on their hands. 

Overtime, they adjusted to their popularity. Schedules slowly became filled to the brim, their dream now a reality as they spent months on tour— and while you were more than happy and proud of them and their flourishing career, it’d be a lie to say it was all one happy and perfect life. 

You hadn’t seen Beomgyu in ages— decades, centuries, eons— in other words, two weeks. 

The band had more interviews and performances than you could keep up with; if they weren’t on some random talk show, they were at a photoshoot, getting interviewed for the next issue of a magazine you’d undoubtedly have on your coffee table the day it came out. Promotions, nights at the studio, it all added up— and before you knew it, your one year anniversary began to creep up, and all hopes to celebrate it properly dwindled down in your heart— but, having him here with you today was enough. 

You didn’t blame Beomgyu; you weren’t angry or upset, because it was simply something neither of you could control. And though it did suck knowing you wouldn’t be able to spend such a meaningful day together, it felt a little better to know that you weren’t the only one hung up on it. 

On the contrary— you think Beomgyu might be handling this worse than you. 

“Baby, baby please,” he cries, refusing to let go of you and cuddling closer to you instead, a mess of tangled limbs and blankets as he cups your face fondly, “pleaaase I know you said I shouldn’t feel bad but please come on tour with us this week, I think I’ll seriously die if you’re not here this time.”

“Gyu, baby, I really shouldn’t—” you say quietly, only to get cut off by his excessive whining and teary eyes. His bottom lip is jutted out in a ridiculous pout, squeezing your cheeks and holding back a smile at the way your lips puff out as a result; you attempt to push him off you, only for him to retaliate by rolling entirely on top of you, a loud squeal escaping you at the feeling of his weight pressing you into the mattress, his stupid face hovering over yours as he continues to plead you quietly. 

“Pleaaseee?” he whines, pressing his flat palms against your cheeks and getting your lips to puff out again; he ignores your half-hearted protests for him to get the fuck off, choosing to punctuate his every word with a kiss instead, his piercings a sharp contrast to his plump lips that crash against you with every word. 

“Please?” kiss. “Won’t you,” kiss. “come with us?” another kiss. 

“Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease—” 

He’s practically suffocating you at this point, refusing to pull away and mumbling the words against your lips, laughs breaking between the two of you as you yell at him to get off, that you can barely breathe with him on top of you; you’re pushing at his shoulders weakly as he continues to tease you, your unabashed laugh contagious as he quickly finds himself smiling as well— he only pulls away once he hears you yell a loud fuck, okay! Hovering over you with bright eyes and a wide grin. 

His arms snake around your waist before he’s rolling over, successfully switching so that you’re the one on top of him— he ignores the loud and exaggerated sigh of relief you let out. 

“It won’t make much of a difference though,” you say quietly, hiding in the crook of his neck as you confess your doubts, “You’ll be too busy and exhausted the whole day, I really don’t want me to be added to your list of concerns.”

You went on tour with him, once— but you learned it was better off to not be anywhere backstage with him during those times, the boy too concerned and constantly doting on you to remain focused; any mistakes he made hitting much harder, a subconscious pressure to be perfect and give his all only trifolded by your presence.

“What? No,” he says immediately, sitting back on his elbows and causing you to look up at him in response; his brows are furrowed and he seems a bit baffled by your comment, shaking his head adamantly to emphasize his point, “I like having you there. I know you like being there, I want you there— I wouldn’t be asking you to come with me if I thought you were a burden.”

He managed to pull out the exact words you were trying to skirt around— your face heats up at his reassurance, much too intimidated by the intensity of his gaze as you bury your face into his chest instead; his chest bounces from the laugh he lets out, flopping onto his back once more and hugging you close, bodies pressed flush against each other and one of his legs thrown around your waist in a childish attempt to pull you even closer. 

“Plus, don’t you wanna visit Europe with me?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his voice as he feels you nod shyly; he knows just how much you enjoy the travel aspect to his career, constantly asking for pictures or to facetime while he’s gone, “I wanna show you all my favorite spots this time, and not through some glitchy facetime— I wanna spend time with you, sweet thing.”

“Ugh, shut up,” you groan, hitting his chest weakly as he simply laughs at you softly, “you’re so corny.”

“You love it,” he coos, rubbing a soothing hand up and down your back, biting back a smile at the way he can feel your breath even out— you remain silent. Partly because you’re falling asleep from his touch, and partly because he’s right. 

⤬⤬⤬ 

Europe is breathtaking— you’ve never been so grateful for Beomgyu’s stubborn, persistent mind. 

The tour has gone as perfect as always, spending a few days at their shows before you simply resigned to stay at the hotel instead; after seeing that Beomgyu was so distracted trying to look for you during a show that he missed his cue (and played the notes wrong to another song) you found it better to wait for him and see him after instead— ready to help him wind down and relax after another energetic, adrenaline-inducing show. 

Most nights consisted of you practically carrying him to the bathtub; cooing soft reassurance as he whined about how tired and sore he felt, shampooing his hair, massaging his scalp and tense shoulders— most of the time, he’d fall asleep then and there, and it’d be another hassle to wake him up and get him out. You’d lure him out of the tub and wait for him to change into your matching pajamas— hello kitty ones, his idea, not yours—  and greet him in the bed with a warm embrace and lips that peppered kisses all over his face.

It was during these moments you found humor in the contrast of his stage persona to his true self; from his usual attire, chokers and ripped clothes, wardrobe consisting of black and multiple piercings that decorated his ears and face, your thumb brushing over his newest eyebrow piercing fondly— versus the man that slept soundly in your arms now, long hair tied back and cute pink barrettes clipping back his bangs, donned in hot pink fuzzy pajamas— and you’re sure that if his band members saw him like this, they’d never stop teasing him. 

You didn’t have to wait long to confirm that thought; Beomgyu didn’t bother changing as he met up with the others in Yeonjun’s room for breakfast the next morning, tugging you along and remaining unfazed at the way his band members burst out laughing the moment he entered the room— you felt a bit bad at the way you found yourself laughing as well, even more so because you’re the only reason he’s found himself dressed like this. (But again, he was the one who bought these clothes in the first place.)

“Happy anniversary, you two,” Yeonjun muses, smiling at the way you’re the only one who seems to process that, chirping out a cheery thank you! as you proceed to drag Beomgyu to the couch, “I feel bad that we have a concert today, ___. As vomit-inducing as it is seeing you two, you do deserve to spend the day together.”

“It’s okay,” you immediately say, brushing his teasing comment off and holding back a smile at the way Beomgyu is still struggling to gain consciousness, more tired than you thought as he simply stares at his waffles for a moment before finally digging in, “at least he’s spending the day doing something he loves.”

“Gross,” Hueningkai says, scrunching his nose playfully before laughing at the glare you send him, “you two are so mushy, it’s painful.”

The rest of the day leading up to the concert is spent peacefully; once Beomgyu has gained enough coherence to fight back against the member’s jabs, he’s pulling you away to show you new sights and stores he discovered from his previous visits, spoiling you beyond belief and buying anything you look at for a second too long; you end up with more bags than you know what to do with, and Beomgyu refuses to let you carry a single one as he proceeds to take you one of his go-to restaurants, as he told you; saying he’s been wanting to bring you here since the moment he found it, smiling brightly when he sees you enjoying the food as much as he did.

To say he’s reluctant to leave you to go to the concert venue is an understatement; you think he might start crying at any given moment as he stares at you with shining eyes, unable to let go of your hand as he stands by the door of the hotel room— not quite ready to leave yet, but knowing that he must eventually as he chooses to bring you in for another slow, loving kiss instead. 

��Are you sure you’re not coming tonight?” he asks you, trying to hide the sadness in his voice and failing miserably.

“And make you fuck up your setlist? I don’t think so,” you try to joke, only to panic slightly at the way his eyes gloss over; your hand immediately jumps up to cup his face, laughing softly at his expression as he simply pouts at you ridiculously. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” you grin, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before you lean over to his ear, voice dropping to nothing but a whisper as you let your lips brush against his ear, “I’ll have a nice surprise for you tonight, so you better give your best show out there, okay?”

The low lilt of your voice is enough to have him perking up immediately; mouth parted slightly as he stares at you, unsure of what else to do but nod pathetically, knowing he won’t be able to control himself if he thinks about what you might have in store for too long. 

With one last chaste kiss, he’s leaving— and only because Soobin was pounding at the door, telling him they’d be late if he didn’t go out this instant— you think he might start crying as he gives you one last pouty glance, waving to you sadly before he slips out the door. 

You’re left alone, the room suddenly much lonelier and quieter than it was a few seconds ago— and you laugh, checking the time and running to your suitcase to get your makeup and outfit for tonight. 

A revealing shirt, a mini-skirt that’s a bit alarmingly short— you’re pulling out a sparkling, pink outfit like it’s nothing, throwing it all on and doing your makeup as you check the time absentmindedly; your phone lights up while you’re in the middle of doing so, and a notification reads that the staff are waiting for you outside to take you to the venue once you’re ready. 

Beomgyu loves performing knowing you’re in the audience more than anything; it’s something he’s made blatant to you, knowing that despite his mistakes, despite his small distractions, his energy always goes out the roof the moment he spots you there. So you knew how distraught Beomgyu would be to hear that you’re not going to the show tonight despite being able to, but the thought of surprising him is much more enticing than you’d like to admit. 

With one last check of your appearance in the mirror, you grab a jacket before you go; Beomgyu’s favorite oversized zip-up, the clothing item a stark contrast to the rest of your feminine and bright attire— and you smile, adjusting the purse on your shoulder before you’re off to the hotel lobby, where the staff are waiting and ready to escort you safely. 

The venue is almost full by the time you get there; you’re escorted straight to your barricade seats front and center, smiling shyly and waving at fans that seem to recognize you; your face feels hot and you walk faster at the way they get excited at the sight of you, not used to the fame that comes with being Beomgyu’s girlfriend— hell, you really don’t know how Beomgyu does it. 

You’re more than relieved once the concert begins, any attention that still lingered on you immediately getting stolen by the boys that appeared on stage; you winced slightly at the loud screams all around you, unable to help the way you eventually joined in— morphing into another fan in the crowd, the venue much too dark for any of the boys to recognize you just yet. 

They looked stunning in their concert outfits; the professional, matching and dark outfits tailored perfectly to each member, intricate with chains and rosaries and pretty layers. Your eyes widen as you watch Beomgyu walk to his position, taking note of his hair that has now been dyed back to black— you hadn’t realized how long it’d gotten until now, the layers framing his face and falling into his eyes as he goes to push back his bangs with a delicate hand. 

There are no introductions tonight— the music begins immediately, loud and abrasive and making the crowd jump along excitedly, screaming the lyrics and reaching out to try and get one of the members to pay attention to them— on the contrary, you try to remain hidden, looking away and bowing your head every time Beomgyu’s gaze sweeps around your area. 

God, you wish Beomgyu didn’t turn into such a ditz whenever he spotted you in the audience— because then you’d be able to enjoy more of their concerts, addicted to the borderline euphoric feeling you get from attending them, only for it to be multiplied as your eyes catch onto your boyfriend performing, your heart pounding against your chest at the sound of his voice ringing out into the venue— a surge of pride and love fills you as a grin spreads on your face, and it isn’t until you notice a member walking around that you’re able to look away from him.

Looking up, you make eye contact with Hueningkai. 

His mischievous smile and raised brows are immediately returned with a violent shake of your head; telling him to not say anything to Beomgyu, rubbing your hands together pleadingly the moment he glances back at the said man— then he turns to you, sending you a playful wink before he’s off to another section, not without sending you one last teasing grin and a wave; you’re glancing at Beomgyu in a panic, unsure if he’s spotted you, only to be relieved at the sight of him too concentrated on playing to even look up at the crowd.

It isn’t until the encore that they’ve all begun to move around, (save for Taehyun and Soobin, bound to their instruments as they’re resigned to simply wave at the crowd when they can) changed into more comfortable outfits during a small intermission— Beomgyu is decked in baggy jeans and an equally baggy shirt, long hair messy and makeup smudged as he walks along the stage, smiling and waving at fans that reach out for him— he plays his bass so effortlessly as he does, truly mesmerizing as he stops a few times to interact with fans; the sight has your heart fluttering hopelessly. 

But the closer he gets, the more you’re buzzing with nervous energy. Gripping onto the barricade tightly, having stood up long ago with the rest of the fans that are eager to get their attention. Beomgyu’s eyes scan through the crowd thoroughly, smiling cutely and returning hearts until he spots you. 

He freezes entirely. 

He’s no longer playing bass— he’s just standing there, in complete shock as he stares at you. You can only muster to give him a sheepish wave, an uncontrollable grin on your face as you laugh at his dumbfounded expression, trying to yell at him to go back to playing. But he doesn’t, and you’re jumping slightly at the way he takes off his bass and jumps off the stage, security frantically following behind as he rushes over to you.

His hands are on your face and he’s pulling you in for a kiss quicker than you can process; you hear the screams of the crowd around you, but Beomgyu’s got you in his hold so tightly that you’re unable to pull away, left to give in and melt against him as he kisses you for a little longer. Your face feels as though it’s on fire by the time he’s pulled away, his own alight entirely with joy as he grins at you, your head still in his hands as he leans against the barricade excitedly— you think he might just jump over it any moment now.

“You’re here?” he says exasperatedly, eyes scanning you frantically as though he were imagining you, “why didn’t you tell me, you should’ve— I would’ve—”

“Beomgyu,” you cut him off, placing your hands over his and laughing at the way he can only stutter stupidly, brushing his hair behind his ear fondly— watching the way his eyes crinkle cutely as he smiles, your own sweeping over the array of piercings that decorate him, hello kitty earrings glinting under the light— and pry his hands off your face, ignoring the pout he sends you as you scold him instead. “Get back on stage!”

Your words seem to snap him out of his reverie; his head is whipping back to look at the stage, at the way his friends can only laugh at him teasingly and yell at him to get back here— the way Yeonjun yells directly into the mic is slightly embarrassing, shrinking at the way all eyes are on you as the man’s words ring out the venue— Beomgyu, get the fuck back here!

He’s only able to leave with one last chaste kiss— the crowd is screaming at the sight, and you’re resisting the urge to cover your face in weak hopes that it could take all this attention off you— but you’ll bear it, especially with the way Beomgyu mouths a cute I love you! before he’s jumping back on stage. 

The poor boy is unable to take his eyes off you for the rest of the night— but on the bright side, there are no missed cues or wrong notes played. He’s just entranced with you for the rest of the encore, his energy seemingly replenished with the way he jams out to the music; mouthing the lyrics even when it’s not his part, maintaining eye-contact with you during songs he knows you’re particularly fond of— and suddenly, the idea of spending his anniversary at a concert isn’t as depressing as it was earlier tonight— because now, he had you by his side. 

⤬⤬⤬

“Beomgyu— Beomgyu please, not here…” you whine, unable to do much but bite your lip and swallow back whines that threaten to escape you, left to Beomgyu’s mercy as he immediately led you to his dressing room after the show— the said man is much too focused on kissing and marking your neck to listen, soft hair brushing against your face as he pulls you flush against him; back pressed against the wall, arched prettily from the way his hands snake around your waist and press your lower half against his— you’re holding back a groan at the way he’s already hopelessly hard against you. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d be coming? Hmmm? Just wanted to be a tease? Was this your little surprise?” he asks, biting at your skin and huffing out a laugh at the whine that escapes you; your hands are gripping onto his shirt tightly, fisting it in your hands and wrinkling the material as he lets his teeth sink slightly near your collarbones, “god, you look so good tonight, you’d really expect me to be able to hold myself back?”

His hands are wandering down your waist; over the swell of your ass, fiddling with the hem of your mini-skirt before he’s venturing under it— feeling the way you shiver against him the moment his hands squeeze at the soft flesh, fingers decorated with rings cold against your skin as he comes back up to kiss you. It’s rough and desperate, lip rings scratching as he kisses you with such hunger it leaves you breathless; he grinds his cock desperately against you, eliciting a small gasp from you and allowing him to slip his tongue inside— the piercing that decorates it scrapes along your mouth, unable to help the way your knees weaken at the feeling of him— his touch is everywhere, leaving you dizzy and lightheaded as you can only melt against him, allowing him to press you flush against the wall with his own body; your miniskirt is riding up along your hips as he situates himself between your legs, panties already a mess as he begins to rut his cock into you. 

“Are you sure you want to wait now, pretty?” he asks, looking down at you with low-lidded and fucked out eyes— he punctuates his words with a particularly harsh thrust, laughing at the way you yelp and tighten your hold on him, “I could stop everything right now, send you back to the hotel like this and make you wait, just like you said— is that what you want?”

Oh, he’s cruel— even more so because you’re left shaking your head no deliriously, your mind fogged with such need that your eyes are glossing over at the very thought of not having Beomgyu inside you right now; your voice is pathetic as you plead Beomgyu to finish what he started, throwing a hand over his shoulder and entangling your fingers into his hair as you pull him back into you— he’s more than eager to return the kiss, tilting his head and pressing himself more against you as a hand reaches down to your thigh; grabbing the back of your knee, guiding you to hook it around his waist as he begins to rut into you mindlessly.

“So cute, my pretty girl,” he mumbles against your lips, eyes trailing down your low-cut top to spot his favorite zip-up, a smile tugging at his lips as he merely sends you a cute smile, “did you miss me that much? Already so needy from a little bit of kissing— god, I love you so much…”

You think he’s mostly talking to himself at this point— spewing nothing but filth as his hands shove your shirt over your chest, grinning as he remains impatient enough to not take off a single item of clothing, choosing to push tug your bra down harshly before he’s swooping down to mark your breasts with a cruel smile.

“Looked so fucking hot out there, just made me wanna take you backstage and fuck you there,” he confesses, listening to the choked whine you let out, his pierced tongue playing with your hardened nipples, leaving them swollen and sensitive. He’s looking up at you with doe eyes that contrast greatly with the way he sticks his tongue out for you, letting you watch the way he circles and toys with the cute jewelry he bought for you earlier today, pulling away with a coy smile and leaving them soaked with his spit— he blows softly on them, watching with tentative eyes as you keen at the feeling. 

“God, you know I’ve been wanting to do this every time I see you at one of our shows? To make sure that everyone that looks at you knows just who,” he rolls his hips into you, nice and slow and letting you feel the length of his cock press against you as you flutter your eyes shut from pleasure, “you’re here for?”

“Fuck, gyu,” you pant out, snaking your hands under his shirt and up his back, grabbing at his shoulders and pulling him into you— as if there’s still space between the two of you, as if you’d die if you weren’t touching him at all times, “‘m only yours, only want you…” 

He’s sneaking a hand down to move your panties to the side, the two of you much too desperate to shed off any layers— and as you listen to the clinking sounds of his belt, undoing his jeans and pulling out his hardened cock, you busy yourself by sucking and biting at his neck, listening to his stuttered breaths as you suck and tease at the joint of his neck, his most sensitive spot as you bite at it playfully— you’re only pulling away at the feeling of Beomgyu grabbing at you hair and tugging you away, letting out a baffled laugh at the satisfied look you give him in return. 

“Want everyone to know you’re mine,” you coo out softly, grinding your pussy slowly against Beomgyu’s tip that teases your entrance, your mouth falling open at the feeling of him mirroring the action, running along your folds and swiping at your clit, “all mine, my pretty boy…”

He laughs fondly against your lips at that— bringing you in for a slow kiss, feeling the way your mind goes blank the moment his tip slowing enters you; he’s swallowing a soft moan from you as he bottoms out slowly, keeping himself deep inside and grinding his hips slowly against yours— and he stays there, a tease like always as he watches your brows furrow and your lips pout, telling him softly to move, to do something.

“Mmmh, all yours,” he mumbles softly, pulling out slowly to let you feel the way every vein runs against your walls, clenching and fluttering against his length as he hisses at the feeling, “I’m yours, belong only to you, fuck…”

He’s not able to keep this agonizingly slow pace up for long— as much as he wants to tease you, to have you crying and pleading for him to fuck you stupid, he isn’t fairing that well himself— so it isn’t long before he’s beginning to snap his hips into you, cock curving and aiming for that spot that has your knees buckling, pretty nails digging into Beomgyu’s shoulders and biting at the skin in order to try to stabilize yourself.

“Such a perfect cunt— fuck, ah, just wanna fill you up, wanna see it dripping down those pretty thighs— stupid fucking skirt can’t hide anything, ugh—” his voice is deep and breathy as he continues to talk into your ear, his hands sliding down to the swell of your ass before he’s holding it there— lifting you up, forcing you to hook your legs around his waist as you’re left to his mercy; his chest is pressed flush against yours as he fucks you, and you can only bury your face into his neck to try and muffle your sounds, the rough way you bounce from his thrusts causing your nails to slip and scratch down his back— he hisses at the feeling, only to be spurred by the stinging sensation it leaves behind. 

“So loud, shit,” he laughs meanly, grinning at the way you only bury your face into him more to try and muffle your sounds, “want everyone to hear you? All the staff, the members— I’m sure they’d like to see what a pretty doll you are for me.”

You shake your head at that— but your body gives you away as your cunt clenches around him pathetically, the wet sounds of skin against skin filling the room and undoubtedly filtering outside— but you remain persistent to keep your moans to yourself, choking back on sounds of pleasure as Beomgyu only begins to fuck you rougher; your silence is a challenge, one he’ll gladly take as he begins to roll his hips into you just the way you like it. 

“Come on pretty, I wanna hear you,” he purrs into your ear, a hand snaking around to rub at your clit while the other remains firm on your ass, “don’t you feel good? I can make you feel even better— so, so so good, just let me hear your cute little sounds.”

You’re playing hard to get. And Beomgyu takes absolute pleasure in it, watching the way you shake and dig your nails into him helplessly, your body being wound up from how good he fucks you; your thighs are sticky and shining from your arousal, poorly concealed pleasure only fueling Beomgyu’s ego further as he reaches up to tug your head out from it’s hiding spot.

He thinks he might just cum on the spot; your makeup is ruined, tears of mascara running down your cheeks as you merely let out soft hiccups of moans, your lips parted and brain completely empty as you stare at him— he smiles at you in return, capturing your lips in another kiss as his hand begins to trail down; toying with your breasts, nimble fingers pinching and rolling your nipples as you jolt and whine into his mouth at the sensation. 

“Gyu— gonna— need to, ah…!” the choked whimpers you let out aren’t enough for Beomgyu, and he only slows down at your request; fresh tears stream down your cheeks as you plead softly, breathy voice barely above a whisper as you whine quietly to keep going, don’t stop, please gyu, pleeaaase…. 

“Hmm? What’s that? I can’t hear you, baby,” he murmurs softly against your lips, slowing to nothing but a grind as he presses himself against you— pelvis grinding against your clit, the feeling making you tremble as you dig your nails into his shoulders once more. “Come on sweet thing, tell me what you need.”

You’re telling him— begging, pleading, breathy whimpers and soft cries escaping you as you roll your hips into him, biting your lip and sighing exasperatedly at the way he simply watches you with dark eyes, slowing down until he’s simply bottomed out inside you. 

“What do you want?” he asks softly, breathy voice intertwined with a lilt so sweet you’d almost think he pities you— and by the way he’s looking at you, he just might, swollen lips caught between his teeth to try and suppress a smile. You’re still weak and quiet as you try to voice your wants, looking at him through wet lashes, a pout on your face as your hands run absentmindedly up and down his back.

“Wanna cum?” he coos, pretty hand reaching down to circle and pinch your clit teasingly, “Want me to fuck you? Fill you up? Hmmm?”

All you can do is nod along to his words stupidly— and obviously, it’s the very last thing your boyfriend wants, abandoning your clit and reaching up to grab your face roughly; fingers digging into your cheeks, forced to look at him as he merely glares at you and speaks through gritted teeth. 

“Tell me,” he says, voice sharp and dangerous as he narrows his eyes, “use your words— or, don’t tell me I’ve fucked you dumb already.”

He’s unhooking one of your legs from his waist at that; you’re stumbling slightly, leg too weak to let you stand as you merely cry at him to wait, bringing him closer to you in fear that he might pull out and leave you like this— his fingers still dig into your cheeks as you speak, drool building up at the corners of your pouty lips as you stutter out exactly what you want— what he wants to hear.

“Want you to fuck me, use me— wanna cum, please,” you cry out, eyes squeezing shut as he shakes your head teasingly, as though to say and what else? “Want you to cum inside, baby please, just wanna feel good—”

You’re rambling at this point. But Beomgyu enjoys it nonetheless, telling you to keep going as he begins to move again; slowly at first, allowing you to feel the drag of his thick cock against your walls as your words become stuttered through weak moans, the sight making your boyfriend laugh as he slowly begins to pick up his pace. 

“Like it when I fuck you like this, yeah?” you’re nodding in confirmation to his words; staring at him with pleading eyes, whimpering a soft harder, faster, that the man is immediately obliging as he coos at the way you yelp at the sensation. “Want it harder? Hmmm? Want me to fuck you ‘till you can’t even walk—? Have to carry you out of here, let everyone see the way your sweet cunt is filled up by me?”

All you can do is nod to his words at this point; whimpering a weak yes, yesyesyes, want you to fill me up, use me, more more please—

Everything crashes down on you unexpectedly; your eyes are shutting tight and you think you might just black out as your orgasm hit you suddenly, cunt squeezing and fluttering around Beomgyu’s cock as he groans at the sensation— he lets you ride it out, cooing soft praise into your ear before he’s pulling you in for another kiss; you’re barely able to kiss him back, moaning into his mouth and letting him do whatever he wants with you.

It isn’t long before he’s cumming inside you as well; you’re so tight he can barely move, your cute whimpers and warm cunt guiding him through it as he fucks into you slowly, making sure none of his release slips out as he continues to fuck you, even after he’s become horribly sensitive. Then he’s still, lips still on yours and arms wrapped tightly around you as though he’s afraid to let you go.

“You okay?” he asks quietly after a moment, still lingering close to you, taking in your appearance with tentative eyes. You nod softly, still attempting to catch your breath as you chest heaves against his; he huffs out a soft laugh, caressing your cheek fondly before he’s going to fix your clothes— your mini-skirt remains up on your hips, his cock still bottomed out inside you as he coos about how good you were for him, caressing any skin he can get his hands on (which is a lot, considering your wardrobe) with a smile.

“Pretty girl, so perfect,” he coos, finally pulling out and tucking himself in before he’s going to fix your clothing; not without slipping his fingers inside your cunt one last time, watching with hungry eyes as you curl into him and cry that you’re sensitive— he’s only satisfied after his cum is left snug in your pussy, smiling darkly at the way he brings his fingers up to your mouth for you to clean— you do it without any hesitation, and Beomgyu swears he might just be getting hard again. 

“Love you so much, thank you for coming to see me today,” he says instead, bringing you in for a warm hug and a loving kiss; you merely hum tiredly in response, hands slipping out from his shirt only to be thrown over his shoulders leisurely.

Your face feels hot the moment he’s trying to get the two of you to leave back for the hotel— because your legs are absolutely not cooperating with you. 

“Holy shit, I was joking about that whole fuck you till you can’t walk thing,” he laughs, only to get cut of by the way you hit him in response— he’s letting out an exaggerated whimper at that, rubbing his arm and telling you sorry, sorry baby, with a cute pout.

“Ugh, I don’t want anyone to see me like this, fuck,” you mourn, only for Beomgyu to pull you into his side firmly, sending you a smile that’s not as reassuring as you wish it was. 

“I’m sure no one will notice,” he says simply, swinging the door open and immediately being met with Soobin passing by. 

He slows down at the sight of you two, glancing at your appearances briefly before he keeps walking. 

“Try to keep it down next time please,” he yells out, turning the corner and disappearing from your sight before you can retaliate. You feel slightly mortified by his words, but Beomgyu isn’t affected in the slightest as he leans over to murmur softly into your ear.

“Should we continue this at the hotel, pretty?”

You don’t answer his question. But he already knows the answer, sending you a giddy smile and intertwining his fingers with yours as he leads you to where the staff car is waiting for you two— and you hold back a smile of your own as you trail (limp, kinda) behind him. It’ll be a long night, but you couldn’t ask for a better way to spend your anniversary, no matter how unconventional it is.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

Hey. You've thrown asks open to followers before and I don't have nearly the number of trans masc followers you do so I'm hoping you can help me out...

Twelve weeks on T. I have the genetic trade off of being ludicrously physically healthy and absolutely RIDDLED with mental illness - which I've done lots of therapy about and have been managing pretty well for the last ten years.

When I started T, my doctor said I would be less able to cry, and I was like 'great, emotional dysregulation sucks, I hate crying all the time'. What I didn't realize was that T would also, like, change ALL of the warning signs of an impending mental health crisis? Which I discovered... By having a mental health crisis. Tbh it's p terrifying after 25 years of living with this and suddenly I have no fucking clue how any of it works.

So. Like. Curious if there are trans mascs out there who could comment on how T changed their experience of anxiety / panic attacks? I think my crash might be panic attacks about the US election? (I'm in Canada but have a trans sibling in the South) But maybe it's something else?

Thanks for being generous with your space 🙏

Of course! Let's try to see if we can crowd-source some new observation tools for you. (Though, your crash is a very reasonable one, lbr.)

I wish I had anecdotal info to give you (all I can say is I think T has made my ADHD worse wrt memory issues, but I'm stabilized now), so throwing this out there to anyone who'd like to tack on with their experiences with anxiety and panic attacks.

Edit: Really looking for input from folks who have anxiety and how their warning signs changed. We're looking for mental toolkit stuff, not "it eventually gets better."

[eggdrawsthings]

Hi! I wanted to ask a question and I wasn’t sure if it was too personal or not so just ignore this is you’d rather not answer, but I was wondering if you went to art school or got a degree in it? I really want to start learning and maybe one day start a career in animation and wasn’t sure whether I should spend time and resources getting a degree. I know it’s going to be different for everybody and nothings a guarantee for this field but since I love your style and technical skill I was curious whether you had done that and what were your thoughts on it or if you are self-taught.

Hey anon! No worries it's all good!

Ig I should quickly go through my art journey so you can have an overall look of why I went to art school lol.

So I'm from Vietnam. I think back in 2013 I went to a small art school in Singapore (they were the only one that gave me a scholarship). My major was 3D modeling actually, but during my final year, I realized I only wanted to draw characters for animation. I could already draw decently, so I just read The Silver Way book and built a character design portfolio on my own during this time. I was lucky I got a job as a concept artist at a small animation studio there so I learned a lot from the job. I also did a lot of self-learning and took Woulter Tulp's Expressive Character class on Schoolism.

Then after 3-ish years of working, I got sick of the tiny and dying animation industry in Singapore. I wanna do sth more than just preschool shows and I was severely underpaid lmao. So I quit my job and took the MA VisDev program at AAU. It's a little more affordable cuz u can do 1 year online and the second year on-site. The reason I went to this school even tho i could just take a VisDev class online was cuz i need the visa so i can try to break into the industry in the US.

Now back to your question. Is art school a must? No. Should you still take it? Maybe, depends on your situation. If you can afford it then hell yeah by all means. Art school is great cuz you have professors and peers to help guide you along the way so you won't get lost while trying to figure out your shit. And to have a few years just experimenting and focusing on art is a great experience. Plus you can make a lot of meaningful connections in school and it will help you a long way after you grad. But if you have to go into debt to go to art school, then don't. There are places like Schoolism, CGMA, and Warrior Art Camp where you can pick what class and from whom you wanna learn. If you are not from the US and wanna break into the industry here like me however, then yeah getting a degree is a better bet cuz you can use the student visa and OPT to hopefully get a job here (it's still very very hard tho ngl im struggling rn as we speak lmao). Also, you need a BA to work overseas so there's that too. The hard truth is studios prefer to hire locally than some rando from somewhere else and have to wait for them to relocate and shit, (unless you are exceptionally good and they'd do anything to have you, but that is super rare lol).

Even though I did go to art school, I have to say most of my skills are from self-study. It requires a lot of self-discipline but I'm pretty much obsessed with drawing and I draw everyday so it's not a problem for me. But my friend is not good at that, so she found art school/classes helped her better cuz there are deadlines and instructors to help guide her to reach her goal. So it depends on your learning style tbh.

There is this chart that can help you consider your options. Im sorry it's a very long answer, cuz yes everyone's experience is different. Feel free to drop me another ask if you still have anymore questions tho ^^

Edit: I must also add, though there are online classes and ways to self-learn animation,I do think it only truly benefit you if you know exactly what you wanna do in this industry (for example I already knew i wanna become a character designer for 2d/3D animation specifically so any books/classes i took I tailored it to fit my goal). If you are unsure what you wanna do, then maybe even a cheap animation course will do better, and then you can take extra online classes on the side.

[fernsnailz]

Not sure how much meat this question has to it but if back in 2006 you were the one that spearheaded the shadow the hedgehog game, how would you have done it?

i'd want ShTH 2005 to keep the same core energy its final form ended up with, but tbh there's a lot i would have done differently lol. here's my 3 step plan for how i would have directed it previously/would direct any sort of reboot or remaster

1. TIMELOOP!!!!!!

i'm not the first person to come up with this idea and i won't be the last to talk about it, but the gist of this point is that ShTH's story makes WAY more sense when you treat it like a timeloop. you finished a story path and end up back in westopolis? great job, you're at the beginning of the timeloop again. it's a smart way to make this wack story a little more cohesive.

i would LOVE to further utilize the timeloop concept for this game because it could be a very simple addition to add flavor OR it be the core of the game's story and gameplay. small things like shadow going "hey wait, have i seen this before?" when he's going through westopolis for the third time can hint at the narrative, and once shadow realizes he's in a loop he's motivated to find EVERY path in search of the full truth. every new story path could be treated as a new game+ as shadow starts to consistently remember more from previous timeloops, carrying over certain weapons, abilities, and memories from his previous experiences.

one really cool idea i saw a while ago on here (edit: FOUND IT! i'm talking about this post) is someone's ShTH timeloop pitch where after a few resets, silver starts to show up and tells shadow to stop messing with the timeline. this continues, and eventually silver becomes a final boss of some of the paths. this idea has never left my mind since i saw it and i need to find the person that came up with it they mean so much to me

i have more timeloop thoughts but i will move on for now

2. simplify or rework the morality system and levels

this is my big gameplay critique - there is A Lot to do in ShTH and very little of it is consistently fun. i have grievances with the morality system i talked about a while ago, the gist of my opinion boiling down to "the system removes agency from shadow and the story doesn't fit within the morals you choose anyway." i'd either MASSIVELY rework the morality system to make it feel worthwhile or just throw the whole thing away. unfortunately i don't have many pitches for what to replace it with since i haven't played that many games with branching stories - maybe the story paths you go down are based on BIG story decisions shadow makes during boss battles or in cutscenes (?) like choosing which boss to fight, which characters to save, what moves or weapons to use, stuff like that. i just want the stuff that leads to branching stories to be more impactful and a little simpler.

this also applies to the levels, of which there are... a lot. and maybe there should be less? i think it would be smart to cut down or combine some of the levels, then really flesh out the ones that matter. and given the non-linear nature of ShTH, i think a version with levels more focused on exploration and combat would fit the game better than the linear mission-based gameplay of the original.

3. MORE GUN

listen man. they advertised this as the sonic game with guns and in my opinion i think they could've done better. i mostly just want a more fleshed out weapons system with upgrades, a little customization, better controls, etc. just put the merchant from resident evil 4 in there and have him accept rings and i would be happy

-------------------------

those are the big points i would personally stick to, but i do have smaller points i would consider as well, including:

make black doom seem competent

explain who the chaotix are working for and fit it into the story

no more "kill this many enemies to progress" missions. please

super shadow can have a gun now

[smallturtlebomb]

Ni modo a hacer zikzak en esto lmfao Since you mentioned Ivo, Astro and Cass, in their perspective WHAT WOULD YOU THINK of Divine/Diva? Something in her appearance (clothes, hairstyle, etc.) would catch their attention? Opinion of when, on many occasions, her body deforms making her more intimidating just to scare or impose on others (similar to my last edit but the blood thing is a matter of what situation they are in, although the fact that any of them see the guard soaked in blood at some point is high)? Or what would they say about Diva's personality, being so stoic and heartlessly apathetic when it comes to killing (although that doesn't mean he is polite to them)? (although I'd also like to ask YOU what caught your attention about Diva, just out of curiosity XD)

Also (and this, if you want, you can add to your twin duo, Lita and Luz to answer this), I wonder, any opinion of them if they run into Lariat (from my AU, with her nicknames and all that)? Or what would they say about Shrike being APPARENTLY declared dead, when he's been missing for quite some time (and his body hasn't even been found) and that Jaw and Kara are missing too?

Eso es todo,chau

OOOHONHOHOHO HELLO I WILL GLADY ANSWER THIS

ok first off for astro. since he didn’t get along with one of his dads (that being shrike) he would probably still be cautious and rude to divine especially since he’s a lot more intense now. Big brother moments would kick in and he would try to protect his little sisters from him (one wrong move from divine and he’s getting thrown into outer space).

now for cass, she wouldn’t be that cautious about him (given how she’s acts just like her dad). she wouldn’t poke fun at him and be like “ha look at this emo loser. bro thinks he’s him!!!” and of course she doesn’t know that’s actually shrike because she’s too stupid to notice.

finally for ivo, she’s 100% sure that’s her dad so she would be really confused about why he’s all grey and moody. She’d still cling onto him and would try to play with him like she usually does with shrike.

all three of them would be really confused about his personality since they’re so used to the “annoying, fun, and somehow caring shrike” than the “moody, cold-hearted grey shrike”.

and for me idk what got me into this au tbh. I just saw it and im like “hey, this seems pretty cool and interesting. I like it now and it’s my new favorite au.” ^_^

and for the yin yang twins to run into lariat, they would try and help her with her theory of shrike being missing and not dead. They also wouldn’t believe shrike being dead because even though he’s stupid they both know he could fall of a cliff and survive. but for kara and jb specifically they wouldn’t really say anything cus they didn’t know the two of them personally (they weren’t that close)…

[nothingenoughao3]

Hello, I read your fic Dreams in the Necromancer House and just wanted to say I'm really enjoying it. The images are so vivid, I don't know how you do it. And so I was wondering if I could ask where did you get your inspiration from. As in, if you add references about certain books or history or traditions where do you find them? Wikipedia? I'm just curious about how to do research. Specifically the tag that says Lovecraftian cults, tbh I have no clue about the H.P.Lovecraft universe. I just think it's really interesting.

Also, I am probably going to read it again because I'm sure I've missed out on some details. Anyways, have a nice day.

Hey, thank you for the thoughtful ask! This is the sort of question writers dream about receiving.

Here is the not-so-secret and not-so-glamorous process for how I compile references for my works (not just this one--this L4D2 series took a LOT of research, and so did that one SuperBat fic).

For me, the earliest creative process is kaleidoscopic: I'll have multiple scenes that don't seem like they all fit together spinning around in my head, and "the plot" is what happens when I try to make them all line up and become one coherent thing. Usually, there are the Scenes Of Pure Inspiration which arrive out of nowhere, followed by the Scenes Of Pure Necessity that have to happen to support the Pure Inspiration, and then one or two Scenes Of Damn Wouldn't That Be Cool that come up as I play different scenarios out in my head. Once it's over, I'll probably discuss the Scenes Of Pure Inspiration from "Dreams" more in detail.

Then I start doing outlines. Yes, I construct outlines for my fanfics, just as I do for my original works. There are far too many tiny moving parts in a story for them not to be contained in an outline--even if you move them to a different spot later, the damn things'll get lost in the sofa cushions if you don't keep them in a container of some kind. (I hope this metaphor hasn't gotten away from me.)

Dreams has three outlines--the one I wrote while still generating ideas, the one I wrote to establish timelines more firmly, and then an annotated one that has all the references I've sprinkled throughout the story. So I do consider this to be a vital part of the process. There will be a fourth notation file I generate when I do my final editing pass after it's all published, too! That one will cover me stating stuff about character histories and little story details, so that (for an example that really happened) I don't have Armitage giving a flask of whiskey to Herbert which later turns into a flask of Everclear.

Now where does the research bit come in? For me, when I do my extremely-detailed outline or when I start writing.

For details regarding history, science, politics, and the like, I generally rely on Googling, same as anyone else (excluding results after the year 2021 if I'm not finding what I need). Better than this, though, is books. I used to collect books that were writers' references--one of my favorites was a guide to poisons, both "the most likely poisons used in a murder mystery" AND "how to design your own poison/toxin/venom". Also guidebooks for TTRPGs, sacred texts, gardening guides, etc. I currently have a book series called "The Home Doctor" that teaches you how to do baseline veterinary and human medicine (according to the early 1900s). I don't have that because I plan on using it for its intended purpose, but I did use it to research a L4D2 fic where someone's leg gets amputated--and I even had the characters in the fic owning those same books!

What really matters for a story like Dreams, though, is thematic feel. I think folks will forgive me if I were to mention a musical band that didn't exist in 1987/8, but far less so if I didn't nail the feel of 1987/8, or of cosmic horror. So while I am writing a story, I immerse not only in the source material (if it's a fanfic), but also in music, movies, books, comics, and etc. that "feel right". I'll draw off those media for further inspiration, because let's face it, creativity is knowing what to steal and how to steal it. (I didn't say that--Tarantino did.)

The key here is that I don't stop interacting with research and creative works when I'm not writing. I'll flip through my books or go down a rabbit hole of "what the hell is THAT scientific concept about" or learn about magical rituals every day that I can. If the compilation of research material looks easy or fast when I do it, it's because I'm always doing it and I know how to narrow it down!

For Dreams, I could go "Oh, here's a list of all the stories and movies and etc. I want to build off of" because I already had all of those things in my mental wheelhouses. If you wanted it, here is a specific list of the actual non-Lovecraftian works that thematically support and inspire Dreams in the Necromancer House:

Prince of Darkness (1987)+

Hereditary (2018)*

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals (2019)

Stir of Echoes (1999)

Mandy (2018)

Skeleton Crew, Nightmares and Dreamscapes, and Everything's Eventual by Stephen King: specifically, "Nona", "1408", "Mrs. Todd's Shortcut", "Gramma"+, "Autopsy Room Four", and "That Feeling, You Can Only Say What It Is In French"

Black Butterflies and Heatseeker by John Shirley: specifically "Cram", "Tahiti In Terms of Squares", "The Almost Empty Rooms", "Woodgrains"

The King in Yellow by Robert Chalmers

Twin Peaks

Music: "We Will Commit Wolf Murder" by of Montreal, "Leather Jacket" by Ben Folds Five, "It Must Have Been Love" by Roxette, "Over & Over" by Rio Romeo, "No One's Around To Help" by JerryTerry

The Arkham Horror board game

"The Mysterious Stranger/An Angel Named Satan" from The Adventures of Mark Twain

And since you were asking about Lovecraft's universe, here are the stories that went into this particular tale. All of his stuff is treated as being in the public domain, so you can easily find it on sites like Project Gutenberg or wikis:

"The Case of Charles Dexter Ward"+

"The Thing on the Doorstep"+

"The Dunwich Horror"+

"The Colour Out of Space", as well as the film adaptation Color Out of Space (2019)

"Pickman's Model"

"The Call of Cthulhu"*

"The Shadow Over Innsmouth"*

And of course, "Dreams in the Witch-House"+

The ones marked with an * are the most detailed stories regarding what I mean by "Lovecraftian cults", and the ones with a + are good demonstrations of wizardry/magic systems that supported this work.

[annakie]

FIXING THE HOUSE Chapter 10: Rooms With No View

Part One: I Do Not, In Fact, Have the Power

Part Two: Let’s Spend Lots of Money!

Part Three: All These Things That I’ve Done

Part Four: I Really Want to Stay At My House

A little interlude.

Part Five: Power Down

Part Six: You Will Leave Some Paint

Part Seven: Backwards to go Forwards

Part Eight: Master of Bathrooms

Part Nine: Within a Room, Somewhere

Part Ten: Rooms With No View (YOU ARE HERE)

Part Eleven: Big Bang Room Part A and also Part B!

Part Twelve: We Can Make It On the Outside

Part Thirteen: Mauve Haze Symphony

Part Fourteen (A) - In the Kitchen

Part Fourteen (B) - Copper Green

So we've dove way too deep into the master bedroom and bathroom. Today we're getting through two (or maybe three-ish) rooms, but tbh they're the least exciting rooms so it shouldn't take ridiculous amounts of time and pictures.

*edit* -- I lied. It's long.

THE GUEST ROOM!

Yep, that's an ugly room, with cheap furniture, not long after moving in.

I mentioned before that my first couple of years I had roommates, just to afford the mortgage.

The first roommate I had was only there a couple of months. We… did not hit it off. She was loud and annoying and her boyfriend was always over. I was also not the best roommate and the house was... really not great anyway. Not a good fit for either of us.

Also she did this to the wall. She painted that much, and then stopped, and never started again.

Hey you can see the comparison between the original offwhite and the cream I ended up painting everything there though. Oh also where she DID paint to the ceiling she smooshed the paint on the ceiling.

I got a second roommate and told her I'd paint the room before she got there, she said no, she'd like to paint the room herself.

She was here about two years and never did paint the room, lol. We got along just fine but she worked all night and I worked all day so we didn't see each other much, and she really just stayed in her room and watched TV and interneted in her free time. I tried to drag her out a couple of times to hang out with my friends, to just go to a movie, and she seemed to have a good time but never really initiated much. I wasn't sure if I was annoying her by getting her to have more of a social life but she seemed to really latch onto life here or take initiative to do more.

When she moved out, she moved back home, but we parted well. She left a bunch of stuff here, a few things like a floor fan and some plates I still have.

So then a friend-at-the-time was going to move in. She DID paint the room.

She painted it dark brown on the bottom, THEN a stripe of grey, and THEN aqua on top.

It was, tbh, hideous. I hated it a LOT. Then she never moved in.

I hated this, a lot. But it still took me probably a year or two to repaint it because I didn't want to offend my friend. I shoulda anyway. :p

We had a falling out and I immediately repainted it when I realized I could just stop giving a shit about what she thought, finally.

Why yes, I DO intentionally pick pictures with my cats in them. That's my dearly departed Jim. <3

And hey, the white carpet, right after it went in. Regret.

Yeah this green, called Sanctuary, was a nice, comforting color I really liked, but it was pretty dark. It's been that for the last 15 years or so.

My mom sewed me curtains for the room, too. The problem was… they blocked almost no light out, though I do love them.

That was the state of the room for many years. Mostly empty, but hey, kept pretty tidy since I rarely had people use it. TBH the last time a guest stayed in it was… 2019 even now lol. Mostly my mom had used it when she came to visit before this, but since my parents moved closer, she only stayed in it a couple of times when I was really sick and needed her.

I sometimes call it Fry's room because Fry would use it more than anyone else.

When the new flooring went in in 2019 it got a light makeover with a rug, new bedding, and a few details to make it a little more welcoming to any guests (or, just the one guest who's stayed in it since haha.) I was pretty happy with it.

So! As you had seen the dining room was yellow. But it isn't anymore. Also there was… this.

This painting, by an artist whose work I love (and you've probably seen here on tumblr) Leonid Afremov.

But it really did not work on that wall with the pink... nor would it work with how the room currently is.

So I decided to move the painting to the guest room and theme the entire room around it.

So with that, I set out to find the perfect shade or two of yellowish, that wouldn't be too much like the copper/orange of the master bedroom.

I settled on golden yellow tones, and in a theme that would repeat several other places in the house... same card, different shades.

Yeah, like two tones from this card! This looks great!!

The paints I decided on were sent to Arturo. A few days later I heard they were painting the guest bedroom while I was in a meeting in the living room. An hour or two later I excitedly went to go check, annnnnd....

Oh... Ummm... errrrrrr... well the light color is right! Enjoyable Yellow, the top color on the card above where my thumb is covering the name. And I love it!

But the accent wall... that's not yellow. That is decidedly brown.

For a minute I thought that someone had picked up the Llama Wool paint and painted that color, but it was wasn't. It was a whole new brown called Yarrow.

I called Arturo in and we discussed it and discovered... that when I'd texted him the colors, I'd swapped the two middle numbers in the color. Totally my bad, and I paid directly for the right gallon of paint and part of the guy's time who was doing the painting that day when Arturo went back and picked it up.

TBH, we both really liked the brown, and if it went with the Yellow Painting at all, I would have just kept it that way.

And yes, the room is the new Laundry Mountain. It literally still is, so this next picture is a MESS and I have no energy to go fix that situation yet, like we've discussed. That will come when everything else is done, but there's still a lot to do elsewhere.

The RIGHT COLORS! Olden Amber! And the painting hung on the wall!

It's currently centered over the bed but looking at this picture, maybe that's a mistake. I'll think about it later.

But I absolutely love the colors of the room. Yellow is such a welcoming color, but I wanted it to also be warm now, and the slightly orange yellow does that so well and fits into the autumnal picture so well.

Sorry mom's custom curtains... I slept in this room for over three weeks while renovations were happening and the light coming in in the morning is killer. New blackout curtains were bought and hung with a new curtain rod. The old blinds had long since gotten cut down but the bar that had been holding them up was still there, but now removed.

Of course that's the new window but uhh... you can see the view out of the room though. It's... just the fence now. Before it was the neighbor's backyard and that wasn't much to look at unless their pitbull was outside. But also if the pitbull saw or even heard me it would set off barking and now with the fence it's both a little less noisy and she's not set off as much anymore. The new window helps with that so, so much.

I do have a vague plan to turn that area outside of the Guest Room/Living Room windows into like a mini-garden at some point, when I have money again. Hang or lean some trellis against the fence, or buy fake ivy fencing cover or something, maybe some no-work groundscovering, maybe even a little table and chair set to make it a bit of a secret hangout spot? I just don't have the cash right now, at all.

Back inside!

Like every room, new trim was installed, the closets and doors painted white. New oil-rubbed bronze hardware on the closets -- plus the doors actually open and close/stay on the tracks now whereas they very much did not before! New vent cover, new outlets and light switches and covers. Ceiling fan and doorknobs we've talked about.

All and all its the full room that probably got the least amount of attention AND the one that currently needs the most work done in it. It's very not done yet, but all of Arturo's work is done, and looks just like I wanted it as far as renovations go.

The rest is up to me.

Oh, that poster you're seeing there that you're like why the FUCK would you still have that? was in the closet for the last 10 years or so and it was set out so I could throw it away. It's not there anymore.

This closet btw has been the cats daytime home basically every day since the renovations started. There's a nice space for both of them in one of the corners, floorspace for Pemily and a long but narrow-ish box where Fry perches next to her. Especially since all my dresses and jackets are in that space so they're well tucked away and hidden and happy. They just run in there as soon as workers show up, they want to stay hidden and it's probably pretty quiet in there, too.

One of the guys who is here a lot, Antonio, has a truck that has a beep-beep-beep sound when in reverse, and the cats actually recognize that sound now and make it into the closet on their own when they hear it.

Honestly I think they may just like it in there because sometimes I find them in there days they don't need to be.

Honestly I think they've enjoyed when the workers leave and I call them out, they both prowl around the house finding out What's New. Sometimes I call them over and point out the New Stuff to them, sometimes they find it on their own for thorough investigation. Even more on that later.

OK. That's really about all there is to see here. Let's move on.

The Living Room

Again, my living room is the smallest bedroom of my house.

It wasn't always.

Yes, the "I just moved in and cannot afford anything nice." pic. That computer desk probably was the second nicest thing I owned after my expensive bedroom furniture. And that chair was SUPER GROSS. I threw a sheet over it and still sat on it for a couple of years as a gaming chair. TBH, it was pretty comfortable and was like a $5 goodwill find.

Yeah, see? You can barely tell how gross the chair is!

Only the best stuff $20 in 2004 could offer. And a coat of beige-ish Peacan Sandie paint on the wall.

The second roommate I had, the one I got along with, had a futon that wouldn't fit in her room so it went in the office, just behind my chair there. So that turned the office into the Guest Room for the time she lived with me. I kind of got used to having the futon, so when she moved out she took the frame but not the mattress. I bought a new frame, and have had a futon in there ever since. This was my favorite pic taken on it right after I put it together. Jim and Leela, just hangin' out napping together.

The thing about what-was-the-office is, it's a 10x10 room. It has a tiny vent and was always hot in the summer and cold in the winter.

And I spent like 80% of my waking hours at home in that room.

I didn't really think much about it for a long time, just kept a fan half-in and half-out of the room going on me all summer and a space heater for the winter.

On the other hand, I had a living room that just rarely got used. I was always either in the office or bedroom. Even when I got some pretty nice living room furniture instead of a hand-me-down couch that the cats ruined... just didn't go in there much.

The cats (tbh, just Leela) ruined the really nice set of furniture after a couple of years, too. I talked about my struggles with her in her farewell post.

After a few years, I ended up paying someone to haul the living room furniture away and the room was kinda empty for a few months.

In 2017, when my awesome company (see: The Master Bedroom post) got bought out by the shitty company, and they decided we all had to move to another office, they also decided we'd all sit in shitty cubicles instead of our huge, awesome and expensive desks we absolutely loved at our current office. This is all talked about in excruciating detail here, with some pictures.

They basically told us we could just take our desks and $1000 ergonomic amazing chairs home if we wanted them, otherwise they'd probably just get thrown out.

Almost everyone in Dev came and took their desks, including a lot of people who'd quit in the last few months, and a few people who'd quit years before came and got some.

Of COURSE I wanted mine, but I couldn't really fit this desk with a 9' wingspan in a 10x10' room, with the futon, and TV.

So of course THAT'S when I had the idea to just stop living my life with a living room where it's supposed to be and spending most of my waking hours at home in the smallest room.

I finished cleaning out the "living room" and when my work buddies delivered my desk and chair (and a few other pieces of furniture) to my house, they set it up right by the front door.

The small former office room sat pretty empty for like almost two years, NGL. The room, especially the carpet, was pretty gnarly for awhile and I just shut the door to figure it out "later" because it didn't feel good for anything in its current state.

When a friend decided to visit in 2019 it was time to take action, it was the main reason why the 3 bedrooms got new flooring.

So new flooring went in, the futon and other furniture got rearranged, a few new things bought like a 47" new TV that got wall mounted... and suddenly... holy crap I had a living room!

I got a recliner chair I was SUPER happy with for... about a month. When the "vegan leather" started flaking off.

Mom also made the curtains in this room many years earlier. It was fine when I had computer monitors that were placed facing the same way as the window. Especially since they were an inch or two short. I soon came to realize that the glare against the TV really sucked.

In 2021 during the Great Freeze, this room was where I camped out. I kept warm via candles and nailing a blanket over that window.

I never took that blanket down, until last month. It looked terrible, but it stayed warmer/cooler in the room and no TV glare! Sorry mom. I also covered up the TV console better since that pic, since I chopped the top of it off when the TV got hung.

Honestly, the room really worked for me. I thought about getting a real couch instead of a futon but slapping a memory foam topper over the newer thick futon mattress was pretty comfortable for sitting, laying watching TV, and not bad for sleeping, either.

And hey, also if two people ever come spend the night at my house, the futon means I still have two guest bedrooms! I've done that before, actually, two or three times in the past when a couple of people visited. The room is too small for a sleeper sofa.

It's just worked really well for me, aside from the peeling recliner. Fry loved laying in it, though. I tried getting it out of the room a couple of times but I couldn't get it to fit by myself. It had come in two pieces and I couldn't get it apart, so I endured, just sweeping up the peeling flakes every week or so.

Until last month.

---

There's only one thing about the entire renovation that I'm Actually Mad about and needles me every day.

I picked this Starry Night lightswitch plate up on a trip to Disney with my mom and Aunt my mom paid for. I LOVED that Starry Night lightswitch place. And I do mean loved.

It was just one of my favorite little things in the house.

I didn't even think about it in relation to the rewiring.

When the old lightswitch plates came off... this one disappeared.

I didn't even realize it for a day or two because of the whole AC saga.

When I asked Arturo about it, a Tuesday had came and went, meaning the trash was gone, and my lightswitch plate probably got thrown out in the process.

Like... who the fuck would see this and think it's trash and I wouldn't want it anymore!? It's obviously a custom little thing, not some shitty plain old plate!? Most of the other lightswitch and outlet plates in the house were copper plates, and a lot of them got thrown out, too. They're in great condition despite being 20ish years old... the fuck!?

I mean, I didn't even think to tell Arturo to tell his guys to save the obviously still good and non-shitty plates, but I wouldn't think I would have had to... ESPECIALLY THIS ONE.

I kept hoping it would turn up as I moved stuff around and decluttered... but nope. It's gone. I'll always be a teeny bit pissed about it.

Anyway...

One of the things I paid Arturo for was to fix the cracks and imperfections in the walls and this room probably had it the worst. Part of the drywall was a bit rubbed away from where I would lean against it in my gaming chair (I did get a real office chair a year or two after moving in that I had until moving into the front room), just lots of marks on the wall etc.

So much of that work was needed that eventually I was like ah screw it, let's just repaint that room in full. It was the first non-bathroom room I decided to repaint totally and it cascaded into all the other rooms.

I'd been talking to a friend of mine and she somehow mentioned she liked blue rooms. I knew at that point that the hall bath was getting completely redone so I just went... ya know what... let's make the living room blue.

The color I picked was called Favorite Jeans and I decided that it would be the entire room because I wanted it to feel super cozy.

I also mentioned in the earlier post linked above that I got Arturo to get the flaky recliner OUT. Ah, so much more space.

...except that this room also became the de facto storage room to move stuff to when redoing other rooms. Especially... well... you'll see. Next post probably?

It got worse than this for a bit, too, haha.

Eventually other rooms got put back in order and thus so did the Living Room. It has served as the cats food room since I got to move back into my bedroom, I plan on fixing that maybe this weekend.

So here's the current, mostly done state.

New vent plate (we had to buy 3 to find the right one that fit this weird size), closet doors repainted and stay on the track now, oil rubbed bronze hardware for both doors, door stop, trim installed...

It's still probably the ugliest room in the house, tbh, but it suits me fine. That little side table has bounced around to every room in the house, filling multiple purposes over the years, and its finally back next to the coffee table where it belongs.

And yes, it's also decorated mostly with TAH posters. Even if it's been a few years since it was my everything fandom, it's still great memories and a lot of cool art.

New black blackout curtains for the blackiest blackout and no-glare TV watching. We've talked about the window and view and ceiling fan. Should probably do something to pretty up the futon-couch better but meh.

It's my cozy TV-watching and sometimes Steamdeck (I can cast it to the TV!) or Xbox360 playing hidey hole, and I love it.

-----

OK just going to hit on The Hallway real quick to wrap this up and finish up with the "Boring" rooms.

It is a hallway. Yep. Hallway.

In the last 21 years it has changed little, except the flooring twice, and the light got swapped to an LED light.

I've posted this one before, but here it was on the first day of the electricity going in. The biggest change to it ever -- a hole cut in the ceiling for easier attic access. There's an access in the garage but because of some weirdness Arturo explained to me and I forgot, it's actually super annoying to use to get to the rest of the house. So they cut a hole in the hallway ceiling.

Annnd here it is, just now.

First real look at the new flooring, which I'll talk about a lot more next post. New trim to go along with the new flooring (next post will also talk about the trim a lot more haha). Doors painted. The first door on the left is the furnace access. New hardware on the linen cupboard at the end there. And Arturo closed and framed the new attic access nicely.

The only bit of trivia I'll add is that it's the ONLY room in the house that is still the same color as before. Silver Trophy. First, because when I decided to actually paint the rest of the house, the hallway had already gotten a full repaint because there was a lot of scraping on the walls due to all of the people walking through, it just needed paint and had gotten dinged up a lot more from all the work. I didn't want Arturo to have to paint it entirely a second time when it was done.

Second, tbh, I really just love the color. It's somewhere right at the intersection of Blue, Silver and Purple. It's a color chameleon. It's nicely neutral and goes with everything. It's the perfect hallway color and I'm glad it's the Same. It anchors the house together and the way it is now anchors the past and the new.

So there it is. A hallway. Not exciting, but refreshed and an added feature of attic access I guess. :)

Okay!

Next time we go to the BIG ROOM. I mean, it's the biggest room in the house, and finally, it's only one room instead of kind of two. So excited to show this one off. :)

[efingart]

May I ask how did you come up with your Bell oc? She's amazing and even though I have my own Bell can't stop obsessing over yours haha, made me wish there was more than one Bell :3 also I love your art, you're the best!

Hey anon, oh thank you so much. I'm so happy you like her. It's really so cool to hear that you care about her 💙

I don't think I ever sat down to think about her creation. It's like she came fully formed out of my head like Athena.

I don't know how long you've been in the fandom, but she's been with me for a few years now. So I've had the benefit of time to develop her as a character and work on her overall look. Hell I didn't have a faceclaim for her for a year. And I've written, oh, a lot of words about her and a few comics lol. Also tons and tons and tons of drawings. Here's one now:

Also, I'm amazed at how things fell into place with her. For example, in the original JWIN comic (which is now just Chapter 1 of the fic) I just on a whim decided she liked milkshakes. And then I decided to look it up. Apparently, milkshakes were super popular in Soviet Russia. I had NO IDEA. But of course, now I had to run with it. And now I actually see there are people posting recipes for Soviet milkshakes. I think I'm going to have to make one.

If I had actually set goals for her development they would have been to fit her into canon events, the time period, and make her likable and relatable to my audience. And to me. She's definitely the kind of character that I gravitate towards. And I needed for Frank and for her to like Frank. I wanted to give both of them a little something better than what canon gave them. And given that I played Black Ops 1 and 2 after Cold War it just seemed like a natural fit.

Anyway, I wish I was a little more organized so I could give you a better answer. I'm always happy to answer more questions or clarify things because I know this wasn't the most detailed answer. Or if you have any questions about Mila in particular always feel free to ask!

And thank you so much, I'm really happy you love my art. That means the world to me, truly. I know I say that a lot but I do mean it genuinely 💙

EDIT: Oh hell I got so wrapped up in thinking this through I completely forgot. There is more than one Bell. I don't know how you feel about multiverse theory anon but when CoD gave us the choice to name and choose our own Bell it opened up the door to new universes and new outcomes. There's more than one Bell. If you want your Bell to hang out with mine or someone else's that works too.

Tbh I have been thinking about another Bell in The Boys Universe and Mila is there too.

[aurorawritestoescape]

Any tips for growing a blog and gaining followers? I’ve been writing fics for about a year now and the people who see them seem to enjoy them (which makes me so happy :) ) but I wish I could get more engagement. I love the community you’ve built of people who like the same things you do and interact with you and leave feedback

Hey, love!💖 Oh, this is a difficult question for me bc tbh I’ve never had a goal to grow my blog or get more followers. I’m grateful that people want to read my stories, grateful for their feedback and support but it’s hard for me to tell you what I’ve done to deserve it🥹

I guess you should keep writing/creating. Write what you love, what you’re passionate about💖 I’m not gonna lie. If you write for less popular characters, the engagement might be smaller. I’m lucky that Joel is my main squeeze and a lot of people read him but whenever I write for other characters, yes, I get less engagement notes-wise, but not less love. Even more sometimes.

Now speaking about community❤️ have I built one? Idk😅 but I’m happy to be a part of it. I love my people, my tumblr family🥹 Some of my readers became my good friends, others put a smile on my face when I see their comment or reblog🙏 Also I met so many wonderful writers here and it came from almost one thing - reblogging and commenting. Tumblr is a reblog site, not a ‘like’ site. So if you read something, see a beautiful gif set, edit, art etc. reblog it, tell the author how much you love it in a comment. Reblogs help to spread our work thus we get more engagement and hopefully more feedback. You’re a writer so you know how important feedback is for us. Do the same to others. Be sincere and nice and I’m sure people will appreciate it and return this kindness to you. Send a dm, an ask, and maybe it will lead to a beautiful friendship.

I’m not sure I helped much but that’s what came to mind😅 And please dm me or reach out whatever way you’d like! I’m always happy to make new friends!🫂💖🌸

[kaiseinx]

Tennant (Reverse: 1999)

(request from : @dvivian )

( note : I'm sorry if there's a mistake about Tennant's personality or character in here, i was doing a research but i found out in a lot of her edits she kinds of flirty, i also found an edit where she said her thought about dress, she certainly didn't hate it but kind respect it even tho she doesn't wear one, so if something is wrong you can easily correct me by commenting about my mistake :D i also take some of her dialogue in game for this (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) )

you're just a normal human, the difference is that you're attracted to a fictional characters, you certainly didn't know why, but you just like it and didn't really bothered by that fact.

you're always see the ad of a game called "Reverse: 1999" and since you're curious about it you decided to play the game, but before that you also see some people commenting about the game story being boring and just skipping all the story because it's not their liking. but you just ignored it and downloaded the game, you prefer to see and experience it by yourself instead of judging it before playing it, tbh you also like the game art style.

you're laying on your bed waiting for them game to be done downloading..

once you start playing it you pay attention to the story, and along with that you also fell in love with one character, Tennant.

you just like her, her personality, her way of talking, her fashion style.

you always search an edit or a fanfic about her, you only found a few of it but you kinda wish that there's more of it.

today, is like other day. you're laying on your bed while playing Reverse: 1999, suddenly without a warning all the lights in your house shut down. you're a bit shocked and quickly put your phone down, and try to get up to get out from your room, but before you can do that you felt someone pulling you wrist before you could see who is that, the person suddenly said

"oh.. why are you trying to run away from me my dear? i thought you liked me?"

you knew that voice.

you totally recognize that voice.

you suddenly turn around and see the person.

it's true. it's her. the game character that you liked.

but.. how did she get here..? is this even possible? how?

you're to busy with your thoughts and forgot about her, you're back to reality when she suddenly said

"shush, my dear, let us enjoy this moment. this beautiful, short, enchanted moment"

that made you wonder.. how did she recognized you?

is this even real or you're just hallucinating right now?

you quickly pinch your cheek and it hurts.

"ouch, that must be hurt"

she said, looking at your cheek that has a pinching mark.

she caress your face and leaning close to your ears and say

"would i have the honor to invite you for dinner the next time we met? no, not in the game. but in here, your world. it'll be my pleasure to do so"

she looked at you, your face is red. like super red. she chuckle before taking your hand and kissing the back of your hand.

"i mustn't stay here for too long, make sure to answer my dinner invitation. I'll be waiting for your answer, my dear"

and with that, the lights is on again. you're sitting on your bed dumbfounded. thinking that your imagination is too real to be true.

until you hear a notification sound and grab your phone to see it

it's a notification from the game which says

"we had a good, beautiful, short time. but surely you wouldn't ignore my dinner invitation right my dear?"

oh. you're sure you can faint right now if it wasn't because another notification from your classmate that says

"hey, you're done with your homework? can i copy it if you're already done?"

(now, it's up for you to decide. is it a hallucinations that looks so real, or is it really happening?)

(sorry if it's too short, i really wanted to make it longer but since i didn't found any information about her personality and i even try to download the game but my storage says no lol, kalau butuh versi indo nya bilang aja, nanti ku translate terus ku upload yang versi indo :D)

[willingcannibalvictim]

RvB vore headcanons: Blood Gulch Chronicles Edition

RED TEAM

SARGE

-old man

-would eat blues as a way to establish dominance

-might also do that with his own team for similar reasons

-rants to prey about “the good ole days where milk was a nickel” and WAR

-tries to get all spooky scary when pred but just doesn’t land it

-unlikely/unwilling prey. makes him feel like less of a leader

SIMMONS

(i actually have some good headcanons for this one with evidence to back it up)

-a CHRONIC insomniac

-skinny queen, amazing prey

-due to his cyborgness, he has robot organs, meaning robo stomach (air conditioning yesss)

-also has oil saliva (which is a little gross but hey)

-noms grif most often out of the reds

-due to his (headcanonical) insomnia, he often can’t get to sleep easily, but finds that grif nomming him calms him down and helps him sleep better

-checks up on prey like every 10 minutes bc he’s just a nervous little guy :3

-speaking of grif…

GRIF

-chronic eepy

-mmmm chubby pred my beloved oooo yesss <333

-tends to nom Simmons either bc a) he can’t sleep or b) idk man bros hungry

-sometimes engages in accidental vore bc, once again, chronic eepy

-rubs tum to comfort/calm prey down, especially if unwilling

-weight in his stomach knocks this man out in like 2 seconds

-when prey, also falls asleep within 2 seconds. like he could get nommed for protection purposes after running away from some guy trying to kill him and just loses all the adrenaline immediately.

-extreme cuddling fan <3

-chubby pred = soft and warm tum.

DONUT

-amazeballz :O

-gets flustered pretty easily, this goes for being pred or prey

-ONLY and i mean ONLY noms when ppl ask. doesn’t nom unwilling prey for a few reasons

-1) prey kick which he is REALLY sensitive to and 2) feels really ashamed when prey gets really scared and doesn’t know they’re safe

-enjoys tum rubs from prey. calms him down.

-similar to Simmons, checks on prey a bit too often

-sees vore as a really intimate thing so he gets really fluster when nommed and his words get all shaky and auwuquwuq

-just a little guy :3

BLUES

TUCKER

-doesn’t mind prey that’s unwilling and puts up a fight

-he’s had to deal with kick before if yk what i mean 😏

-he’s a lover, not a fighter, and doesn’t enjoy the idea of holding prey in his tum for periods of time that they’re uncomfortable with

-occasionally gets bit cocky when nomming prey, to prey’s annoyance

-he’s a bit of a jerk but overall harmless

-as prey, firmly believes the superior answer is hands first like a little fucking bitch

-if unwillingly nommed, he fights a bit but gets a bit tired after like 5 seconds

-just a little guy

CHURCH

-the most tsundere middle aged man in the entire world

-usually unwilling prey. that man is NOT going down without a fight

-denies any allegations of enjoying being nommed (he’s a LIAR! LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!)

-noms prey for two reasons mostly 1) prey won’t shut up 2) protective purposes

-epsilon church? now that’s a whole other story i’m not going to get into here

-also denies nomming prey for any purpose other than those two reasons (once again, FUCKING LIAR!!!)

CABOOSE

-he’s such a silly little goobernut i have so many hc for him. holy moly

-100% noms other to protect them

-pretty much everyone on the blue team is half his height, so nomming them is pretty easy

-rants to unwilling prey about things they like in an attempt to calm them down

-tbh he does a lot of things for unwilling prey in an attempt to calm them down

-does it work? sometimes!

-slightly hums to prey and rubs tum for comfort

-actually the most teddy bear of a pred ever conceived.

-noms Church mostly despite his protests. Church settles down after a while and gets used to it.

-he’s just a little guy 🥺

-out of the blues, his tums actually REALLY soft and comfortable. it’s like laying on a giant pillow that is alive and moving and encased all around u.

TEX

-holy shit she is a BITCH

-unwilling prey? SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!! willing prey? SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE AS WELL!!!

-she will not take shit from anybody

-100% pred all the time

-similar to Sarge, uses vore as a way to establish dominance in a group

-if she noms you and she KNOWS you prior to nomming, my dear that is a sign of utter and complete respect and intimacy

-if prey is unwilling and kicking/screaming, can and will punch her stomach to get the point across of “shut up, will ya?”

-also uses vore for protection of her colleagues (aka blues)

-“this place is full of mean ladies!”

OTHER AFFILIATIONS

DOC

-yooooo doctor

-stomach fluids have healing properties, something he greatly takes advantage of

-really cares about prey he’s nomming and, like many others, noms for protection

-noms after battle or fight to aid wounded prey (this includes nomming multiple prey at once. i see u tooo)

-however, doesn’t nom the reds or blues together unless they know each other and are on good terms. they will have a “GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!!” moment. that isn’t very comfortable for all parties

-enjoys vore as a prey because it makes him feel safe and protected. huge extreme cuddling fan.

-stomach is warm, but in a way where it’s comfortable and won’t make prey overheat

-out of the reds and blues, other than grif and caboose, his tum is probably the most comfortable.

-tummy rubs? tummy rubs ooooo ^^

————————-

and that’s all for now! i’ll do one later with the freelancers we see in rvb (dead or alive)

[vaporsystem]

hey im still here lol what if we name ourself Eula lol

or maybe just Yulia if we wanna be normal

We wanna have a like "la" sound but all the normal names with that are boring so lol Some of us have normal names but its fun to pick something weird, i dont wanna be a like "laura" or something.

also one of us drew us but like good actually so here lol im still not sure which one of us is the one thats so good at drawing, like i guess probably a lot of us but i get too bored which is why i did the doodle last time lol

anyway we've all been like trying to work on our stuff more again so like we've been having a lot of conversations and trying to spend time with each other and stuff and its kinda weird sometimes because its like ill be talking to someone but then im also them talking to me so its a little weird but it really feels like a lot of stuff is like way less blurry which is cool!!!

Its been really easy to feel myself come and go and i think some other people too and also i told some other people to interrupt """"the main one""""" whenever they post here so hopefully they'll do that cause like its SO easy when we're here for some reason even if we know a bunch of people could see it. the other one was talking about like making a website and we wanna probably like give us all blog spaces so we can all have our own spots but like idk how public itll be cause its weird lol but i think we need it cause like its so fun to be alive idk how else to explain it :p

tbh the main one might not even be like a person that might just be our like autopilot dont even think about whos fronting mode cause like ever since helix popped the cap its been like yo we just gotta like take a minute to think about it more than not at all, yknow?

but either way like ive been mooooostly fronting these past few days and its cool because like its pretty easy to be happy and like we'll go to sleep and when we wake up ill still be here and its like waoua what is this but it makes me feel so like solid (not like that)(unless)

also idk if other people can do this but like we did play around with like what shape we wanna be like in the brain place like we did be like "what if we were pony" and it was fun but like so limiting lmao i wanna have arms and hands i think so we'll be like gremlin for now lol

parts of us were saying we seem femboy coded but like idkkkk idk im not feeling the like any/all vibes that people are saying we give off but also she/her feels so basic... maybe we could be the one to use neopronouns...... A lot of us dont like it but i guess they/them for now???

anyway we'll shut up now but like we wanted to confirm we werent like a one off mental breakdown kinda thing!!!!!!!

okay but one edit i do get like really dizzy whenever i talk so idk what thats about lmaoo

[boqvistsbabe]

Update!!!!!!!!

Hey Y’all!!

Here is the start of hopefully monthly updates. I know in my last update I said I was going to be more consistently here and active. Obviously, that didn’t happen lol. Trying to hold myself to that rn. So this is probably going to be the format for all of my update posts, just so they are easier to follow.

Refresh:

So I am almost completely done with the blog refresh. I think all that is left is updating links and getting some other posts (ex: theme days) made/redone. Most of that got put on the back burner due to how long they were going to take lol. But hopefully, over Spring Break, I’ll be able to get those done (no promises, another thing I’m trying to do, is be more realistic about what I want to get done by when so). 

Writing/Other Content:

Ik I said I’d write more. Once again didn’t really happen. Well, I have written a decent bit, but never finished anything. There is one fic that I am going to try and work on after this week (midterms lol) and have someone look over it (the first time I’ve had a beta reader, look at me go lol). Like the blog as a whole, I am trying to organize my writing, like requests and my ideas and what is going out when etc. (@ any of the other writers if you have any suggestions of what to/where to organize my stuff so it doesn’t get all confusing and mixed up you should def let me know). Speaking of requests, I am going to try and do at least two requests a month. That doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, that feels like something I can realistically do. I will be doing old requests first because even though they are years old at this point, I liked the ideas so I genuinely want to write them. I am still going to be accepting new requests (esp because sometimes that helps spark creativity/help with writer’s block so feel free to send in any ideas!!) but I will try to get those older ones done first. As for any other content (playlists, moodboards, IG edits, drawings, etc.) I am also taking requests for those so feel free to send in any of those requests too. 

Another Blog?!

As of rn the second hockey blog has not been “released”. I want to catch up on things for this blog before I throw that into the mix and try to grow that as well. I am hoping to add that sometime this summer. Also, I do technically have a sideblog already (@samistheman) which is normally where I reblog random things, and I don’t really have tags for that blog I just kinda willy-nilly reblog there (it used to be mostly PJO stuff but now that’s kind of here because of how much of it there is lol).

Life Update:

College is a lot rn. I’m doing 17 credit hours and tbh do not know what possessed me to do that. At first, I was doing pretty good, but now not so much. Like I said earlier I have midterms this week. If y’all didn’t know this, I’m shit at taking tests so not doing great rn. Thankfully one of my classes ends on Sunday so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that is impacting a lot so trying to navigate that as well. I am moving out in May, which is yes months from now but there is still a lot that I need to do beforehand. Anyway, I’m going to a college hockey game on Thursday and I am super excited. I haven’t been able to go to a game since October. Also little fun update, I’m going on a weekend (work) trip to Boston. Super excited for that. I’ll be getting to go to a Celtics game and a Red Sox game (I’m a Royals girlie tho). I’ve never been to an NBA game so that’s for sure gonna be really cool. I’ve been to many MLB games before but this will be my first at a different stadium. Anyway, I think that is it for this update. Hope y’all are doing well!!

As usual, if y’all ever want to talk dms/inbox are open <3

I am going to tag some moots, I am totally forgetting some people so I am sorry for that (if y'all could reblog that would be amazing)

@2manytabsopen @krugstrash @jimmystrudel @andreburakozy @sidneycrosbyhoe @fallinallincurls @timstuetzle @typical-simplelove @ilyasorokinn @drei-mrssvechii

[that-was-anticlimactic]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by my beloved @zukkaoru & @lesmiserablol <333

tagging (with no pressure): @beachytablecloth, @fabro-de-omres, & @milf-harrington (so sorry if you've already been tagged!)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

69 which... is honestly more than i was expecting? i think it helps that my goal is to post a fic once a month mostly bc that's my motivation to keep writing even when i'm busy/stressed!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

396,183 - omg i am SO CLOSE to 400k ahhhhhhhhh

3. what fandoms do you write for?

uhhhhhhh many??? right now, it's a lot of bsd/bnha, but it's always a plethora of things, haha! my first was prolly ninjago tbh

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

hey, little songbird, give me a song

you never quite say (but i hear)

lost in love and lost in feelings

Deeper Than Words

for a new world to begin, the old one must fall

okay the #1 for that is honestly so real that is one of my absolute favorite things i've written EVER lol, same with #2! the rest are... idk #4 is AWFUL - like one of my first atla fics and also my first time writing a ts fic (i have gotten SO MUCH BETTER AT IT NOW)

*note: i started this in like nov or early dec, and #5 changed! it was the zukka goose fic but now it's actually one of my favorites iugytfyhujiko

5. do you respond to comments

i used to be good at it. then i got stressed bc of school. and then i was suddenly like "uhhhh idk How to respond???" i think the thing that got me was i didn't know how to reply to the distressed comments on my sokka falling fic so i just. accidentally stopped.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh here in the garden (let's play a game) 100% rip to sokka sorry babes ilysm hate to do it to ya, love the angst tho <333 rip to everyone who missed the major character death tag lol. well... that or a spring and summer song, too brief rip to geto in the +1 oops... oh shoot... it could also be take me where my soul can run... hm...

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this was hard, but imma go with i was a child and she was a child bc it's based on one of my favorite childhood memories! rip to zuko and his ice cream tho :/ but azula is VIBING the whole time oiuygfcgyhuij

8. do you get hate on fics?

not really? i did once have someone try to correct me and say that i wrote sokka with ocd instead of tourette's but it was in the bookmarks and it made me laugh lol. i also got this comment on my kubokai kaidou with ts fic: ".. the self projection is heavy in this one ... -_-" so idk if that counts lol

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

nope :)

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

uhhhh not really? i wrote ninjago equestria girls crossover oneshot in middle school but i never finished it and it SUCKED lol

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of?

12. what's the longest you've spent working on a fic? and the shortest?

uhhh i wrote a 7,600 word fic in three hours while i had covid? that's prolly the shortest? i count that as shorter than anything i may have finished faster bc i had covid lol but longest? ummmm over a year? multiple years? idkkkkkk the jay with ts fic i posted was something i wrote in 2019 and i edited it (a lot) and posted it in 2022 so??? that maybe?

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

uhhh i did with friends in middle/high school, but those never left the docs! also grace and i have. very many much so aus lol

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? from all fandoms?

RARIJACK!!! it was one of my first hardcore ships, and also was my introduction to queer ships!!! renga is a close second, but rarijack just is really important and special to me for sentimental reasons that put it above renga and others! i am also on a seroroki kick right now. it's not my all-time favorite, but the brain rot seems never ending right now lol

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

GOD SO MANY i have a folder in gdocs just for ninjago fics and there are folders within the folder for different types of wips i'll never finish - i have That many: "no substance", "baby girls", "drafts"... etc...

16. what are your writing strengths?

uhhhhhhhhhh ngl i'm in a place right now where i feel like the answer is Nothing (writer's block has been Bad recently), but i think something i'm good at in a very specific way is making readers feel the discomfort of characters? like idk i've been told that the way i write ts and tics (specifically tic attacks) makes the readers feel uncomfortable in like a "wow i didn't know it felt this way" kind of way??? i like to think i'm good at characterization??? idkkkk

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

ummm setting and scenery & connecting parts of a story, especially if they're parts that i'm stuck on/transitions are prolly my biggest ones???

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i mean go for it as long as it's respectful and like... you tried making sure it's accurate?

19. first fandom you wrote for?

uhh rainbow fairy/a-z mysteries... but that was like very briefly on paper. first time like... for Realsies was ninjago

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh 100% hey, little songbird, give me a song. it's just really special to me and writing it helped me cope with a new tic i had. but one that i wrote more recently is fantasies i'm not sure that i'm worthy of which is a ritsu-centric fic and is prolly tied as my favorite fic i wrote in 2023. the other one would be sun comes streaming through the window (& i can't sleep anymore) which is my 21k word kenji-centric fic lol but that one is like... i'm more proud of it than anything, which is what puts it up there.

[askbensolo]

(Fight/freeze anon here)

Maybe Fannie could write her thoughts down? Sometimes that’s easier than talking out loud. Or maybe disengage for a little bit, and come back with cooler heads. Or some combination of both. Leave, write down what you are thinking, edit it, put it on a good sheet, come back, and talk about it calmly or exchange papers.

To answer your other question, I LOVE being married! It’s like having a permanent teammate! It’s like it’s you and them vs the world (not you vs them). My wife is my favorite thing about myself. She feels like home. She’s the only thing I don’t have to worry about in my crazy ass life.

Also she’s crazy attractive. And she’s wildly into me for some reason I will never understand. So I really lucked out with that (not all marriages have to involve sex—important to remember—and that’s something you have to figure out together with your partner).

I never thought I would get married but I wouldn’t change it for anything now. Honestly it only gets better with time. All of it. I actually want to, like, grow old now. With her.

Wild concept for me tbh but i kinda like it

Hey pal! Thanks for all the advice. Super appreciate it. She and I talked yesterday, and it went pretty well. I think we'd both had a lot of time to calm down and think about what we really wanted, whether we wanted to spend weeks and weeks being upset, and, well...I think we were both starting to miss each other.

I...told her that love her. Which is still kind of embarrassing, but...every time I say it, it gets a little less embarrassing. And I brought up what you were saying, about the different stress responses, and how she and I are different, and she shared from her perspective, and I did my best to listen. And I think we understand each other a little better now.

I also let her know some of the things I've been thinking about. About things that would make our relationship difficult.

On that topic…I'm kinda starting to feel differently about sex. I mean, don't get me wrong—it still freaks the hell outta me. But what I mean is...I'm starting to feel...kind of sad that it does. I still don't want to have sex, but...it's not because I'm happy, which is how I was my whole life until now. It's because I'm...scared. You know...?

And I'm kind of starting to get it now, that it's not always just people being nasty and gross and animal, it's kind of a very unique thing, where you get to be very very very close with someone for a moment, so close that one is literally inside the other (I am resisting the urge to find that unbelievably horrific), and...it makes me feel kind of sad...the thought that...maybe being very very very close to someone will never feel good to me, will always sound sickening to me, and just always remind me of...when I was very very very close to you-know-who.

But...hey. It's like you said. Sex isn't really the most important part of being with someone, is it? It's...everything else. And the “everything else” bit, the idea of choosing someone for life, the concept of ending up married one day like my parents...it took me a while to cook, but...yeah, I’m on board.

All that to say—I totally get what you're saying about having a teammate. Someone who feels like home. That's how I felt about her, before I even decided I was in love with her. That time I came home and she had made dinner for me...all the mornings I walked out into the kitchen knowing she was meditating at the table and we'd have our caf together...folding the laundry and talking about stuff... I mean, Treeso and I were best buds but...I don't know. Girls are just different, I guess. Or...more like one girl in particular—I don't feel this way toward anyone else.

Dang, I never thought I’d be saying all of this. Feels weird. But…also good?

We agreed to wait until she moves out, before officially starting anything. Which...kind of puts us in an awkward spot. We're not friends, not dating...but some secret third thing.

Well...no. We are friends still. We're just...also something else. But...not fully. But we decided to keep having caf together in the mornings, and making dinner on Fridays, and watching movies together, and going out on weekends, just...without calling any of those things dates. Which...doesn't seem to change anything to me, but I guess it makes a difference to her?

I don't know. It's messy. And it'll only get messier. Especially if we do long-distance (I mean, there's long distance, and then there's living in different galactic sectors). And if we sort through all our issues (there are many). And if we end up fighting again...

But...hey. I've kinda got a feeling that it's worth it.

Especially when she looks at me, in that way that she does. With pure affection and admiration and happiness radiating from her beautiful eyes, and her smile that looks like it's just barely holding back all the joy she's ever felt. I wish I could stop time and just...let her look at me like that, forever.

Man, she's something.