#tbh if you think i worry a lot you should have seen me like 5/10 years ago my dude lmao i got better at not worrying dw

[cloud-somersault]

so just read your review of s5 and i definitely think that this season wasn’t lmk’s best and tbh the ending falls flat for me

i honestly think it’s the pacing and how everything is fixed with a bow too quickly and there’s not enough time to really process and delve into. which the specials help with, but we didn’t get one here and it just makes me go :/

there were a lot of good moments like you said (and i am latching onto them for my own safety bubble lmao) but omfg yeah when you mentioned the unexplained magic system i could not have nodded harder because HOW???? HOW DOES MK JUST KNOW THE SPELLS????? i can only suspend my belief for so much. i do trust them to explain eventually but how long do i gotta wait ;-;

sorry for the mini rant at the end. i just haven’t seen others also mention lmk’s issue with its magic system and yeah

first off, i love people using the smaller text to appear as if they're whispering. LOVE that. it's so cute.

second, that wasn't my full review. more of my initial thoughts. If I did a full review, it would be 10 pages long with sources and it would be peer reviewed and have footnotes and stuff. I still might do that. LMFAO

but s5 spoilers ahead, ofc.

but! yes. The pacing in LMK has always been quite fast! and that was less noticeable when the stakes were lower. but now that the world's always going to be in jeopardy, apparently, then. the pacing is really too fast for what they want to do.

We don't have time to delve into what the characters are feeling after each major event. Why are we JUST NOW learning about how Mei has the Samadhi Fire still and it's been inside her all along? During s4, there weren't any clues (that I saw) of her still having it, like no emerald swirls of fire, just electricity. So, the fandom, as a whole, thought she lost it, but noooo, it's been there all the time. Like, what??? That's a great way to make your audience feel stupid.

There's no -- like how did Red Son feel being locked in the scroll. What about everyone else. How are people feeling after Azure nearly destroyed the world. What about that aftermath? That part...that part that people largely think is filler is crucial to telling a story like this. We have to have moments where we sit with the characters and check in on them, see what they're thinking, how they're coping. We don't get that. We don't get enough of it. And it makes these characters feel flatter than they actually are.

They sneak in what they can in snippets and one-liners but that's not enough at this point. It's not enough when every season is going to be a world-ending catastrophe. We need to know these characters. And they've had 5 seasons to do it, and I still don't know critical things that I should know by now.

Also, worldbuilding? Can I get some, please? If the worldbuilding was good, we could go without a magic system! Think Lord of the Rings --- such WONDERFUL world building and history baked in, I don't have time to worry about the magic system. I've got so much information to go off of, I can suspend my disbelief because the world is so developed and magic can happen in a whimsical way.

But there isn't any...we travel around but WHERE ARE WE GOING?? How do-- can humans use magic? Can they see it? Have humans stumbled upon the celestial beasts ever? What bout the temples scattered about? NO one has? What if a human gets their hands on an artifact, what then? They fight in areas where humans are; is there no concern about being spotted? Sorry, but if anyone fucking saw a creature that looked ANYTHING LIKE Sun Wukong, he would be swarmed with pictures and selfies like.

And Nezha is just?? walking around??? WHAT??? I know in S3 they did this, too, but at least it was contained to those people on the train. this is a whole ass....city now.

I feel like people are just hearing me whine and complain about the magic system and they don't think it's a big deal. It's a HUGE DEAL. There is so much magic in this show!! There is so much magic that is just flung around by using seals and fancy circles. What do those circles mean??? Does everyone have their own special circle. Why does Macaque not have a circle, is it because he uses shadow magic?? Or chaos magic?? Why are they fucking with the magic now WHEN THEY HAVEN'T EVEN FULLY EXPLAINED WUKONG'S/MK'S MAGIC!!!!

Spoilers for the end of s5. But how. Does. MK. Know the spell. For Wukong's circlet. HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DOES HE KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He saw Li Jing cast it maybe 3 times, but that's enough? How, MK? When did you study that magic? When did you learn how to use seals? When DID YOU LEARN HOW TO CLOUD SOMERSAULT??

How can I follow MK anymore when he's going places I can't pinpoint? I started off with him knowing nothing, now he picks up powers whenever he wants. If that's the case, just make him as strong as Wukong then!! Just do whatever. There's no power balance either. How strong is Macaque against MK? How strong is Mei against Macaque? I need a magic system or something so I can measure these values!!

They are never going to explain it to us. You can search through the series and look for clues, but that frustration is caused by the show not telling us crucial information. They want you to suspend your belief over and over and over again, but there comes a point of pure frustration where the audience is so disconnected from what's going on, because there's no rules. Characters can do whatever they want whenever they want.

Think about how that affects the plot. Think about how they came across these stones so easily. Think about how MK suddenly got the power to reach the top of that pagoda. Think about how they just so happen to stumble and find the White Lion and Azure Dragon like!! The plot is suffering! The characters have been suffering! And i'm suffering!!!

Sorry for my SUPER LONG RANT but i'm just so fed up.

[jenyifer]

Okay so 8.5/10 🌶️🌶️/5

Will I ever be tried of the bodyguard trope? Not today sports fans. Or should I say BL fans? Fans of school rangers? Idk. I love it give it a try. Yes it’s long. Yes you know the premise but read it and find more.

The sell: Kaduo is a panic attack riddled princely prince who can’t see how much he loved and adored and how in turn his heart’s actions to protect not only those closest to him but his people are affected by him. He is assigned Evemer a new body guard hand picked by the Sultan who is Kaduo’s beloved sister. Evemer is hesitant because he has lofty ideas about what a guard should be and the person he should serve. This story has a lot of good found family elements low magic considering Kaduo has the ability to…. See memories when he touches metal? The mystery is very solvable. However due to the relationships, political temperature, and Kaduo’s own fear it takes a LONG time to get fully solved. But I was very happy to read it. I had to take points off for nothing that shocked me but I was hyperventilating by the end of the book simply because I was screaming so loud of happiness. I was shocked by the end just happening. I wanted more but at the same time I was satisfied with it as a whole stand alone book.

Okay reasons to read if you’ve read other things

I kept comparing him to Velasin from the Tithenai chornicles. Now before I read this book I’d seen it heavily compared to a Stubborn and Strange Endurance. HOWEVER they are significantly different. I do feel like Velasin and Kaduo would have enjoyed being besties. Kaduo is much more adept at being a leader and fighter than Velasin ever thought about being, However, both of their strengths lie in their ability to rule through love and with their anxiety as a caged beast to guide them. Kaduo gets himself into trouble but he never needs actual help to survive he is strong despite his terribly descriptive realistic panic attacks and disassociating.I also feel like Evemer and Surit from Ocean’s Echo would have the bestie relationship. Both are driven single mindedly to their goals. Evemer is lovely though because unlike Surit he genuinely feels like a new guard and person in his life. Evemer’s internal conflict and outer conflict has a realism that other bodyguard esc fantasy stories rarely capture. While Evemer is the top guard best in his class he makes mistakes due to his newness and that’s relatable and will make you be head over heels for him. Also his descriptions of Kaduo are just top tier stuff. I kept thinking Do? I like men? Cause Kaduo seems to be the most beautiful human ever put to paper. *sigh.* also idk how to spell his name but Tadek? Have we checked to make sure he isn’t our boy Tennal from ocean’s echo. I adore him as well. Just a beautiful side character we don’t get to see the POV from and the rollercoaster of emotions make you want to hold him close and tell him to just be himself. Which is 😭😭😭what I want. I’ve heard there is a short about Tadek and I’m worried I’m gonna love him too much. I’d already be SO EXTREMELY HAPPY IF HIM EVEMER KADUO were a poly couple. Tbh.

But anyways come read this book peeps. Trust me. It’s long it’s worth it no slow bits.

[lookingforhappy]

honestly yea this was a bit of a weak spot tbh, like i dont hate it, it's just not brilliant writing to me.

Five

fine, believable, understandable. cool development for his character considering he's so far been the only person consistently fighting this outcome, the only person who's been forced to live in the aftermath, and the only person to have witnessed the bad end at least twice.

8/10 bc honestly explain the founder plotline please?

Viktor

ok this checks out. He's repeatedly caused the end of the world, he's the reason this happened at all, he admits he can't/doesn't know how to stop himself from destroying everything and hurting everyone, including himself. of course he's depressed. on top of that Allison, his biggest supporter and best friend, is incredibly mad at him to the point of venomously refusing to even attempt to reconcile (which understandble from Allison's perspective but yeah this is gonna make Viktor depresesd). Plus his childhood confidante and current "saving the world" expert is also advising anyone and everyone to not save the world.

also 7/10 because the rest of his family is still alive?? and he doesn't consider their vote (Klaus?? Allison kinda? even Ben and Lila???)

Luther

meh, not brilliant. he's going thru shit this season, he got kidnapped and none of his family came to help or even noticed, his sister/ex tries to/did assault him. Also he's probably the most consistent in following/helping Five so it makes some sense that Luther would give up once Five gives up. But also, he's previously bullied Five into doing things his way, or not giving up etc on at least 2 occasions, so he's not blindly following Five (which is also evident when he literally throws Five out of his way in s2).

4/10 because he's just figured out what he wants his future to look like and who he wants to spend it with and now he's giving literally all of that up?? he's bullied Five before (two fives incident) just egg him on some more too??)

Sloane

hate this but understandable. She's explicitly shown to love 3 things: Luther, travelling, and her family. Since her family is dead it's understandable that she'd be upset, depressed even suicidal. She's only seen grieving Jayme and Alphonso for a moment, then pushes away/avoids Ben, her last remaining family member, during her own wedding. She also grieves Luther with a lot more intensity and rage than any of her 5 dead siblings. and also at points talks about how she felt that her family was more of a front/business than a family. so while she does claim to love her family, we're not actually shown her doing much if any of that. Her other passion is travel, which is shown to be a long standing dream of hers and a big part of why she clicks with Luther (who is pretty well travelled nowadays) who understands and supports her dream. With the world ending there is no travel opportunities, so you'd think she would try and make her dream possible by saving the world (she even says she worries that there's nothing after death, so she can't live out her dream after she dies anyway). but no, she just does whatever Luther thinks. God I wish the sparrows were more fleshed out, even Sloane didn't get a lot going on.

5/10 because she should have at least been allowed to voice this instead of being "Luther's wife". or also like, actually show her character and mindset at all? she's more upset that Luther, who she's known for like 5 days died literal hours before the end times than any of her family dying when she thought she had the rest of her life ahead of her????? Sloane deserved better.

Diego

hate hate hate. he chooses this out of spite, to piss off Lila? I guess? Lila wants to fight for the world, and for her child and their future together with Diego. But Diego is annoyed that she won't remain behind in a dying world where death is imminent while he charges ahead. So Diego essentially says "you would rather fight for everybody's future, including our unborn child, instead of let me protect you. so i am going to doom all of us to die" which like what the fuck Diego??

2/10 because they get too carried away with making him the silly one, and forget that he actually has enough intelligence to understand that you shouldn't doom the whole world, including your gf and unborn child, over a petty domestic squabble for control.

yeah a lot of it doesn't compute for me.

The Umbrella Academy, season 3 finale, episode 9: The mid-episode vote makes no sense. It's a few hours before the end of the world and they don't want to take their ONE chance to save the universe??? Except for Five, with the future self story, everyone else doesn't have A SINGLE REASON for not trying to fight the end.

[subtextread]

Hello, because I am Very Good at Grieving, I will rate the FE3H’s character’s reactions to Byleth’s grief.

Sothis: “If you must weep, then weep. I shall be here for you.”

9/10 she knows all of your thoughts, so it’s nice to have this said to yourself. Nothing else needed from her really.

Rhea: “Professor… How are you holding up? I know how heavily grief weighs upon one’s heart… I lost my mother some time ago. It was… Forgive me my moment of weakness. Even all these years later, I cannot recall that time without feeling the pain as if it were brand new. Just know that I am praying for your mind and your heart to find peace.”

0/10 lol… a bit too much there tbh iykyk. One imagines her prayers in this regard would do little good. But we can join the bad at grief club together. Her early dialogue where she tells you to not worry on anything but mending your heart is nice and what all bosses should say.

Edelgard: “What happened to Jeralt… It’s terrible. If there’s anything I can do, simply ask. Even if what you desire is revenge… I’ll gladly lend you my power. We can’t let them get away with this.”

0/10 you could’ve killed them yourself sweaty but it wasn’t politically convenient soooo

Yuri: “Jeralt raised you, yeah? He was all you had… You must be feeling a lot right now. When a parent dies, it really leaves a mark. So feel what you need to, no matter how that looks. But know that your inner fire will keep you moving ahead through even the hardest times.”

4/10 The first two sentences are almost funny. It’s like he’s newly learning who Jeralt and who you are. It’s nice to be told to feel what you feel. The last line is again a little Hallmarky. This feels new to him, it feels, and he is trying his best. The delivery is very tender.

Seteth: “First Tomas, and now Monica. I do have a theory, though I admit it is nothing more than speculation. Both Tomas and Monica have each gone missing at one time or another. It wad reported that when Monica returned from her disappearance, she began to act like a completely different person. As if, perhaps, the real Monica had been killed and replaced by an imposter. Thinking of it like that, it is possible that this Solon had been impersonating Tomas for some time. How they managed such a convincing change of appearance, though, I still do not understand.”

-10/10 Appreciate the diligence, king, but is this the time, place, or person you should be talking about this with? No lol.

Manuela: “I have something rather uncomfortable to discuss. It’s about the weapon that killed Jeralt. Will you listen?”

5/10 Unlike Seteth, I appreciate that she asks your consent before just diving in. When you’re dealing with the aftermath of a death as the Only Child you unfortunately have to deal with this business, so I can’t knock her down for that. She was kind about it.

Hanneman: “You have lost someone very dear to you… I am so… You have my sympathy. Manuela and I can take on some of your workload this month. We can’t do all the teaching, but at least we can lighten the load for you. I’ve always seen strength in your eyes. I know you’ll recover. You’re a very strong person.”

10/10 beautiful, thoughtful, helpful. Three boxes ticked right there. ;-;

Hapi: “Hey, seems like you’re having a hard time. Not that I can understand what you’re going through. I know that this is painful, but don’t lose hope for the future, OK? Someday, you’ll be able to accept what’s happened. And in the meantime, you have plenty of friends here to support you. Me included.”

6/10 A little cliché, but still sweet. It was always helpful to be reminded there was a circle of support around. Forward-thinking is not helpful.

Balthus and Constance:

Balthus: “Hey, pal. I see you’re up and at ‘em again, yeah? Good on ya. No use crying over the past and all.”

Constance: “Balthus, have some sensitivity! Who knows what the poor dear is going through right now?”

Balthus: “That ‘poor dear’ can hear you, ya know. Talking about someone like they’re not there. How cold can you get?”

Constance: “Ah… a fair point. Please, Professor, forgive my indiscretion. You have my condolences.”

Balthus: “Remember, the first step to healing is a hefty dose of revenge. Get out there and get to it!”

Balthus gets a 1/10. A part of me appreciates the sentiment, but the bereaved is already full of a desire for revenge and usually needs a little help stemming that. Not adding fuel to the fire lol.

Connie gets a 3/10. I disagree with Balthus, it’s nice when someone stands up for you and shuts down someone being unhelpful. Her affirming Blathus and then tacking on a chipper ‘My condolences’ is a little laughable though, so it knocks her down a few points.

Flayn: “You have lost your father… Now more than ever do I understand how very lucky I am that you were able to save me. Professor, I deeply appreciate what you have done. Thank you. If there is anything at all I can do in return, please tell me, OK?”

8/10 Flayn is always thoughtful, and it is heartbreaking that she sees that your train of thought might be going ‘I was able to save Flayn, but not my own father’. However, she acknowledges it without making you or herself feel guilty. Well done. I, however, was like not thinking of it that way so it felt like a gut punch to put two and two together lol.

Hubert: “I’ve never been much for condolences.”

-50/10 at least he didn’t fake it lol.

Ignatz: “I’m scared. I feel that I don’t understand the world. How could something like that happen to Jeralt? He was so strong.”

Byleth: Whatever happens, happens. (You can also encourage him to push through)

Ignatz: I suppose, but… Please, take care, Professor! We can’t afford to lose you too.”

2/10 please don’t further catastrophize things to someone who’s grieving lol. I appreciate him complimenting Jeralt though. It’s good to reiterate the good aspects of the deceased. And kind of echoing the unjustness of their passing.

Ashe: “Not just Tomas, but Monica too. We can’t be sure who to trust anymore, can we? Who are these people, really? What do they want?”

1/10 doesn’t really have to do with me. He should go talk to Seteth though lol.

Cyril: “Oh, Goddess, hear my prayer. Please receive this beloved person. When the cold rain washes the body, when the bird and wolf announce the dawn… Receive them into your blue blood. Receive them into a twinkling star. That’s a mourning scripture from the Church of Seiros. Lady Rhea taught it to me. I pray that Jeralt is happy in the next world.”

7/10 he tried <3

Felix and Sylvain:

Sylvain: “Dark expressions don’t suit you, Professor. But I’m… Well, I’m glad to see you out in the world again. It seems this month will be a quiet one around here. There aren’t many knights around to liven things up.”

Felix: “Most of the knights are gone, seeking out the enemy.”

Sylvain: “Isn’t that a bit much? I agree, it’s important, but is it a good idea to neglect the safety of the monastery?”

Felix: “What do you think, Professor?”

0/10 do you all really think I can think about this right now lol. Also Sylvain’s “give us a smile” is never welcome, least of all now.

Lorenz: “There is no one here who has not heard tales of Jeralt’s valor. We have suffered a most dear loss. I do not know what the enemy’s aim was, but I do know this - after what they have done, we cannot suffer them to live. If there is anything I can do to ensure that justice is brought swiftly, you need only give the word.”

8/10 again, speak highly of the deceased to the bereaved! So important.

Hilda and Marianne:

Hilda: “Professor, people are saying horrible things about Marianne! They’re saying she’s friends with the bad guys. If I hear someone say that, I’ll…”

Marianne: “Leave it alone, Hilda. It doesn’t matter.”

4/10 again, doesn’t have to do with me HOWEVER if someone was slandering someone dear to me in the name of my late father, I would want to know so I could do something about it, so valid.

Claude: “I haven’t lost a parent yet, so I can’t even begin to understand how you must be feeling… But even while you’re standing still, the world keeps on moving. I always find that oddly comforting.”

0/10 yes, it is clear you have not lost a parent yet, Claude.

Bernadetta: “Professor? I, um, I brought some flowers for Jeralt.”

Byleth: “Thank you.”

Bernadetta: “It’s the least I could do. Sometimes I feel like all I do is run away… Anyway, I’ll go lay them out.”

10000/10 perfect darling. She reflects a little bit about herself too, but doesn’t make the situation about her, and does something so loving.

Linhardt: “I slipped quietly into the vault and rummaged about, looking for anything we might find useful. There is a group that wants to kill us, after all. What? This is no time for asking permission. I learned long ago that one can ask permission or forgiveness. It is rarely useful to request the former. Still, it appears the knights have already taken everything useful. There were Crest-related objects I thought might be worth studying, so— There you go again with that stern look. Of course I’ll put them back when I’m done. Assuming they bear no additional use.”

-15/10 lmao Linhardt, this was neither comforting NOR useful.

Anna: “I heard Jeralt passed away… My deepest condolences. I knew him long before I ever even met you… He was always so much fun to be around… It’s such a loss…”

8/10 again, love to hear someone speak about the deceased. Very comforting.

Raphael: “You gotta keep yourself active during tough times, Professor. Even if it seems impossible. That’s how I got through when I lost my parents. If you need help with anything, just come see me. Eating and training are my specialties.”

9/10 you know he does understand. Again, I’m not a keep it moving type, but I understand where he’s coming from and that this is what he needs to offer.

Caspar: “I’m not even close to being strong enough. I mean, Jeralt was so much stronger than me, but even he… That’s enough. I can’t dwell on the past. There’s no way to know what my future holds, but I do know one thing. Whatever happens, I have to make my own way in this world. I have to keep pushing so I can grow even stronger!”

0/10 Lol Caspar wtf. Good for you, but I can’t care. Please don’t arbitrarily bring up Jeralt’s death like that.

Dimitri: “Professor! Welcome back… I was… We all were… You’ve been on our minds. Know that your enemies are my enemies. I will do all I can to help you find justice. There is no one else I can… My strength is yours alone. I will fight as you command… I will kill anyone should you ask it of me.”

2/10 please sweetheart, don’t make me worry about you too right now. Started off kinda strong though lol

Petra and Ferdinand:

Petra: “Professor, please lend us your ears. Ferdinand is saying impossible things.”

Ferdinand “I do not see what is impossible about it. All I said was that if you want to go back to Brigid, you probably can. You are…the Empire’s guest, so to speak. They cannot afford for something to happen to you—there would be a diplomatic incident. Someone close to us has turned up dead, so one could argue that you’re not safe here anymore.”

Petra: “You were already told! I am learning here, from the academy. What are you thinking, Professor?”

-20/10 Does Ferdinand know Petra is a hostage? She can’t go home. Anyway, I don’t like how callously he talked about Jeralt’s death and its political implications TO BYLETH. Talk to someone else!!

Mercedes and Annette:

Mercedes: “I’m so glad you’re OK, Professor. I was so worried!”

Annette: “Oh, Professor! You must be starving. Mercie and I made some sweets for you. We were thinking that if you were to eat something sweet, it might help you feel better.”

9/10 acts of service are just the most comforting love language.

Dedue: “It is a shame what happened to Jeralt. I am sorry. There are no words. Leave some flowers on his grave for me.”

6/10 please do that yourself, or at least give me flowers to do it.

Ingrid: “I am so sorry… I never quite know what to say at times like these… Just don’t push yourself too hard too soon. It’s OK to allow yourself to be sad right now. Losing someone dear to you… Well, each loss is unique, but it’s a feeling I know very well. That said… Professor, I…”

7/10 mysterious trail off aside, this is simple and sweet, but talking to someone preoccupied with their own grief is hard.

Leonie: “Captain Jeralt’s gone. He’s gone. And we’d only just reunited… I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sure this is even harder on you. But I can’t— I can’t believe…”

10/10 most important is to know your loved one was loved and Leonie loved him and her grief is palpable, and sometimes you just need to share that together.

Lysithea: “I’m sure you will pull through this because you’re so strong, Professor. Best to stay calm during such tumultuous and upsetting time. We don’t know the nature of our enemies. If we underestimate them, anything could happen.”

7/10 sweet. She did her best.

Dorothea: “I’ve sung the lyrics lamenting death many times on stage… But when something like this happens in real life… I’m lost. I don’t know what to say. But I do know this much… Sir Jeralt must have been very proud to have you as his child.”

100000000000000000/10 this one made me cry the first time I played and it made me cry again now lol. For my personal grief, this was the best response. Please affirm that the deceased loved the bereaved.

[fuckspn]

fuckspn’s mini deancas fic rec

i said a few days ago that i would write a mini fic rec list, and here it is! i tried to limit it to fics i hadn’t seen on other rec lists before, but there are a few that i couldn’t resist adding even though everyone and their mother recommends them. there’s a whole section for “dean pulls cas out of the empty” fix-it fics because i know what the fuck i’m about. also literally all of these are deancas because i don’t read any other type of supernatural fic, and they all have happy endings because i’m not reading supernatural fanfiction to make myself sad.

a quick disclaimer before we start: i generally don’t like explicit sex scenes in fic unless i feel like they’re really narratively earned, realistic, in-character, and necessary to the emotional arc of the story. so while there are explicit fics in here, all but the last two on the list are sufficiently character- and plot-driven that you can skip the sex scenes entirely if you want.

Finale Fix-Its:

(they’ll never break) the shape we take by ~ME~ (Teen, 9k) Yes, this is my own fic, but listen, I wouldn’t have written it if it didn’t hit what I wanted to see in a fix-it! I’m not gonna make any promises as to whether or not you’ll like it, but I do, and that’s what matters here. Read it if you want to see basically every wrong prediction about the finale rolled up into one fic, if you wish they’d kept the Empty as a morally neutral outsider instead of a villain, or if you just like somewhat uncanny, slippery dream logic and gratuitous callbacks. Also even though idk if I’ll ever finish or publish it, I’m working on a fluffy domestic follow-up featuring, among other things, fixes for both Jack and Billie’s endings. I’m just saying that so if you read this fic you know that even though it’s not mentioned, Jack does come back and get to be a normal toddler with his two dads.

my heart a compass by lagaudiere (Teen, 10k) Again, I REALLY hope you like uncanny, slippery dream logic because that’s in this fic too! Cas POV is such a rare and difficult thing and I think lagaudiere nails it. Literally my only complaint about this fic is that at one point Cas imagines Jack having missing baby teeth at age 4 and my immediate reaction was to worry about why Jack would be missing teeth that young. This is because my brain is broken. Your brain is presumably not broken in the same way mine is, so you should enjoy this fic fine.

The World At Large by cenotaphy (General, 4.9k) This fic is so sexy because cenotaphy was like “hey what if there were actual stakes for Dean in the Empty besides the threat of losing the love of his life? Like what if he had a time limit? What if he got fucking stabbed?” and then somehow turned it into the softest little thing about how much all the characters love each other. Truly incredible artistic decisions made here. Despite being relatively short and deancas-centric, Sam and Jack get a lot of screentime here too and they’re absolutely delightful. Tbh you should probably read all of cenotaphy’s season 15 fix-its but if you’re only gonna read one, make it this. (Or Bring Home, but I’ve seen that one on so many rec lists that I think statistically everyone on Earth has read it.)

Other:

You And Your Husband by mikaylamazing (General, 17.9k) 5+1, Dean and Cas getting mistaken for a couple, 80% fluff then 10% angst that genuinely hit me like a gut punch then 10% fluff again. Dean and Cas are at PEAK old married couple in this fic. Yeah they bitch at each other constantly, but they also will tool around the country in their car like a couple of retirees and Dean will indulge Cas’ random flights of fancy even when they’re for something he hates, like the original Starbucks at Pike Place Market. (I’m with Dean on this one.)

Command Me To Be Well by prosopopeya (Explicit, 28k) Not gonna lie, this one hits the “angst with a happy ending” trope hard. The author is NOT fucking around with the warning for internalized homophobia, and I damn near cried at how Dean and Cas clearly loved each other and wanted to be together but just couldn’t because Dean’s psychological hangups were hurting them both. But not only does the happy ending come, the fic luxuriates in it—this is no band-aid slapped over the end, they genuinely fix their shit. Also, this fic has my favorite “Dean coming out to Sam” scene I’ve ever read.

Bring Up the Deep by deathbanjo (Explicit, 22.6k) Okay. Listen. Yes, this is the fic I was talking about the other day, with the tags that make it sound way kinkier than it actually is. And yes, technically this fic does contain dom/sub undertones and sex pollen. But look at me—hey, look at me. This fic owns. It’s a horror case fic, so it’s mainly plot (and three brief sex scenes, but two of those are part of the plot). The monster is genuinely creepy and creative, the supporting characters are enjoyable to read about, the setting is well-drawn, and the ending is something I’m still digesting but in a very enjoyable way. As far as the kinky tags go, the fic basically plays out like Dean and Cas (who are in an established, albeit new, relationship) are slightly randier than normal due to case weirdness: the dom/sub undertones are so light that I barely noticed them, the “sex pollen” is a deliberately unnerving plot device, and both Dean and Cas have nuanced emotional reactions to the whole situation that they are allowed to process and talk through with each other. I’ve never read A Complete Kingdom and never will, but if you’ve ever wanted a Deancas horror casefic set in coastal Maine that won’t leave you a shattered husk of a human being, Bring Up the Deep is for you!

Though The Course May Change by imogenbynight (Explicit, 51.5k) I’ve seen this one on a number of rec lists, but I couldn’t not include it because it’s just so fun. Another case fic involving Dean and Cas staying in a cabin in a rainy, semi-isolated location surrounded by colorful OCs, but this time the only horror is the prospect of fake-dating the guy you’re secretly actually in love with. It’s a delightful read.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (Explicit, 20.2k) Canon-divergent fic from 2015 about Cas choosing to become human and Dean being a real bitch about it. It’s very fun, but I’m mainly recommending it because it’s part 1 of a series and therefore provides the necessary backstory/buildup for the next fic on this list.

You’re There by Sass_Master (Explicit, 11.5k) This is part 3 of the same series (part 2 is not required reading, it’s just a short explicit fic set in between these two fics), and while most of it is about sex, it’s also a fucking A+, 10/10, award-worthy character study of Dean and his internal relationship to his sexuality. Literally I was reading it going, “That’s it! That’s the Dean Winchester who lives in my head!”

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (Explicit, 8.4k) The epic saga of Dean’s terrible knockoff-Grindr hookups while Cas waits at home for him like if you could see that I’m the one who understands you been here all along so why can’t you see you belong w— Listen, I’ll be honest here, this fic is completely not my usual speed (lots of sex, relatively light—but not nonexistent!—romance, zero Big Emotions), so it doesn’t have much in common with any other fics on this list besides a rotating cast of fun OCs. It is, however, the single funniest fucking deancas fic I’ve ever read in my life. Fun minigame: count how many times one of Dean’s hookups is described as having messy dark hair and/or blue eyes.

[tinacentury]

20 Questions Writer’s Edition

Thanks, @kasienda! You know I’m a sucker for these types of games, and this was a good escape during what has been kind of a crappy week :).

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

13, although it’s more like 9 since four of those are in one collection before I knew how to organize stuff on Ao3.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

69,932.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just the one, Sailor Moon from 2018 until now. I also wrote Sailor Moon fic in the early 2000s, but thankfully none of that is connected to my current accounts.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I don’t super duper like looking at kudos as a measure of success (possibly because mine are relatively low, but here it is):

1. Familial Eyes (this surprised me a bit)

2. Belonging (this did not surprise me at all)

3. Contrition (yes, this checks out)

4. My Own Little Stage: A Collection of Prompts (super proud to see this one here)

5. Lemonade Stand (yes people like smut)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

On Ao3, yes, I try to (ff is a very different and clunky story). I do it for a few reasons: I made my first fandom friends that way, and, as much as I don’t have a ton of time at the moment, I do still think forming relationships, even small ones, with people across the world based on a niche shared interest is cool. Second, I know that it can sometimes feel like you’re taking a risk when you put yourself out there and get met by radio silence. I don’t think responses to comments are owed because I’m very big on everyone setting their own boundaries for participation in fandom, but I think they’re nice, so I try to do it when I can.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It’s probably a tie between

-Contrition

-Day 3/Memory from usamamo week 2019

-“I thought you knew” from My Own Little Stage

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Probably Belonging. I was going for fluff with a happy ending, and it’s got probably the most traditional plot arc of anything I’ve written.

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

Lol absolutely not.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nothing terrible, but occasionally something like “this is boring.” Which, ok? Don’t read it, then. I did get some meaner stuff on my old fics back in the day, which I probably why I, to this day, deflect by saying how bad those were up front. However, Kasienda once pointed out that I should probably be nicer to middle school me who was writing full-length stories in her spare time. Anyway, I’ve wondered before how I would react to hate on a fic. I did once get Tumblr hate about my family, and that really fucked with me for a few days where I withdrew and just didn’t engage in internet life. So, would I react that way? I’d like to think no, that I would definitely be upset, but not to that extent. I suspect that my initial response would be to snarkily straight-up feed the troll, which could possibly backfire but also be a fair amount of fun until it did. TBH I might also be so preoccupied with other stuff that I’d be like “Ok, mean internet stranger. Fuck off; I have more important things to worry about.” It probably helps that, given how I’ve seen the fandom respond to other hate, I think they’d have my back.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I don’t write a lot of it, but yes, occasionally. Lemonade Stand is my most explicit work, but there’s some light stuff in What Wasn’t Said and My Own Little Stage. I’m technically “working” on another smut piece right now, but it’s not a huge priority while I’m working to finish my dissertation.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so! 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Lol oh god, no. Control issues. Fic not being a priority, etc. I’d like to say that I’m not opposed, but I think it would be a recipe for a whole lot of extra unnecessary stress for this hobby.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Usagi and Mamoru, Sailor Moon

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Ha! I almost answered 5 Years out of habit, but then I remembered I actually did finish that one. Given my style, I don’t actually have any unfinished WIPs. Whether I write a Contrition sequel one day is a little touch and go, but I do still want to.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

I’d like to think describing emotions and dialogue, but you tell me?

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

I’m sure others would say something like dedication here, but meh, hobby, so I’m not going to categorize that as a weakness. But here are some others:

-a compulsive need for reassurance. I swear part of my writing process used to be sending almost everyone I talked to in the fandom an “omg I’m so bad at this, I’m never going to write as well as XYZ big name author” message, but I think it was me crossing the line between “I’m venting to a friend” and “validate me because I’ve attached my self-worth to this”. This is an issue in my life, too, and I’ve noticed that, as I’ve worked through it there (team weekly therapy!), it’s been less of an issue here. I think it’s ok and probably still necessary to want reassurance sometimes, and definitely to talk about your writing with your friends and get advice when it’s needed, but there’s a line between that and what I feel is kind of a toxic pattern I was in that was doing me more harm in the long run. I will admit that I’ll still fall into this a little bit when I think about number of reviews/attention in the fandom. I’ve had multiple people mention before that I get fewer reviews or broadly less acclaim (that seems like a strong and arrogant word lol) than others in the fandom, and the explanations of “you don’t write as much” and “you don’t write enough multi-chapters” don’t always fully check out, so my brain will naturally go to “because you’re not as good at it as they are.” But when I’m feeling ok about myself, I can respond to that with something like “I am objectively somewhat confident in my ability to write, and if my style isn’t to someone’s taste, that’s not necessarily a knock on my skill.” I read a lot outside of the fandom, and thinking about things in that context helps, too — seeing it as a preference thing rather than a judgement of talent thing. There are a lot of popular, published authors that aren’t my taste, but that’s not me disparaging their skill/some of my favorite authors aren’t for everyone, and that’s ok, too.

-I sometimes struggle with connecting between scenes. Like I’ll have these two separate scenes in my head or even written, but it’s hard to connect them without them feeling clunky

-plot. There’s a reason a lot of my work is relatively short. I get a bit overwhelmed by multi-chapter planning and plotting. I wonder if part of it is a mental block because the one long multi chapter I wrote in middle school literally took me a few years (I think from 2000-2002 maybe?), and the idea of something like that hanging over my head stresses me out. It would probably be helpful to think about multi chapters like Belonging, which took maybe 2 months. But 1) one of those months was March 2020, so I’m not sure how valid any takeaways from that are and 2) I’m not entirely sure I like that story 😅

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I’m ok with it when used sparingly and intentionally in a way that is relevant to the plot, tone, or conversation. I think, especially in the early 2000s, there was a lot of “let me show you how many random Japanese words I know” thrown around Sailor Moon fic, but that, thankfully, is less of a thing now. I do think now stuff can sometimes fall into “let me show you how much detail I know about Japanese culture”, which I have mixed feelings about. Like absolutely, I want to see and learn about Japanese culture from fic, and yes, putting things in the proper cultural context is critical. But, to be blunt, I’m just wary of white people being ambassadors/mouthpieces for other cultures without realizing how their own cultural biases seep into their work. At the same time, I certainly don’t want people to feel like they shouldn’t write and shouldn’t include elements of culture because they haven’t done a whole thesis on Japanese culture. Personally, my solution has been to work cultural aspects in where I can and especially where not doing so would be particularly egregious, but I’m certainly not going to pretend my work is the place to go to learn about Japanese culture or that my Western cultural perspective doesn’t color everything I do. I’m about to be an ambassador for my former career (as a study abroad advisor) here, but I love when an author who has studied/worked/lived in Japan seamlessly has elements or culture in their work. I can’t speak for them, but I suspect that it would be harder not to, having actually lived the culture. Anyway I digress. I like Japanese language in fic when used intentionally to enhance the story rather than to show off, and you can pry honorifics from my cold, dead hands because I’m a sucker for when those change between Usagi and Mamoru.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’ve only ever written for Sailor Moon, and mostly only read for that, too (except for one side quest into a reading a Mandalorian fic because Pedro Pascal)

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

This is difficult. I’m really proud of some of the prompts in My Own Little Stage that I wrote this summer. Domino and Contrition are up there as favorites, too.

I tag @queenrisa14, @idesofnovember, @daikon1, @floraone, @moonlightusa, @angelmoongirl, @ninjettetwitch, @allyunabridged, and anyone else who wants to play :)

[evakuality]

Hanna, episode 7

1.  It’s really interesting what they’re doing with Amira this whole season.  It’s setting up to a whole lot of the stuff that happens in the later seasons really well.  She suffers so many microaggressions all the time, and even here - she makes a joke about costumes parties and they all just swallow it.  It’s a really vivid recognition all the way through of exactly how much Amira deals with on a daily basis.  Considering we all know where this is leading, it’s difficult to watch, but also it’s good that they do this.  

2.  But oh yikes, this whole bunch of rumours swirling about Sam ‘making out’ with someone at the party is really well done.  It’s pretty obvious that no-one genuinely knows - the only people who know what happened are Hanna and Sam (and ‘making out’ isn’t exactly how I’d describe it) so the rumours are all based on a love of gossip.  Who knows how they started, but it’s obvious just how guilty Hanna feels.  How awkward for her to be hearing this!  Then her very very obvious ‘I have a boyfriend so it wasn't me!!’ move (very similar to Matteo’s in s3 in the discussion about homosexuality with Amira, which is illuminating - they both want to try to ‘prove’ something with these moves).  Also, Kiki and her thing about Alex - it’s terrible how invested she is when it’s obvious that he’s being an asshole.  The excuses she makes for him unfortunately ring true - this is exactly how people try to convince themselves of this sort of stuff.  In reality it’s a shame the girls aren’t more forceful - they clearly want to say Kiki is being an idiot, but after Amira got shut down last time, it seems none of them is keen to be more explicit.  

3.  Ohhh poor Hanna.  This thing has been eating at her and she had to tell someone about it.  But choosing Matteo was NOT a good idea.  I mean, we all know this is going badly (Snakesak is such an iconic take on the season that even if you forgot everything else, you’d remember that), but even without that, Matteo feels a bit more... I don’t know.  Shifty?  Somehow?  There’s something really calculating in the way he examines her.  Like, even without knowing what’s coming, there’s clearly something goin on in his head.  With Isak it came out of the blue; he was set up much more supportive/innocent because they wanted the shock value when the reveal happened.  But with Matteo there’s something different. I guess at least partly because most people watching would already know what’s coming so hiding it is less imperative.  Hanna sees him as a friend and the only one she can tell, but it’s such a weird choice anyway (as it was in the original).  He’s Jonas’s best friend.  Like he says, why tell him?  Even if he wasn’t a little snake, this is putting him in a really difficult place.  Effectively this makes him choose between his best friend (who he’s kind of in love with even if she doesn’t know that) and his friend.  Him choosing to let Jonas know wouldn’t be all that strange and it’s a big risk to take before she knows he sits in the ‘don’t tell’ camp.  I am also baffled that they did this with other people in earshot.  It could totally get out, even if this girl agrees she should keep quiet.

4.  I really like this adaptation of the ‘claim’ Alex makes into ‘he told me I have a cute stomach’ instead of the hoodie thing in the original (though that works very well too).  This way it’s much less overt and also it really plays into Kiki’s fears about her looks.  We’ve seen small hints of her eating issues already, so this just adds to the weight of that.  Specifically targeting a body part that girls can be sensitive about is clever - at first it can seem sweet, like he’s being so nice about something vulnerable, but then you can see he’s being very deliberate with that impression and it really hammers home the insecurities Kiki is already harbouring.  

5.  It’s a fascinating dynamic between all the girls in the argument about how Kiki should deal with Alex.  I’m with Sam and Amira - stay above it and move on (tbh, Kiki should never have gone there in the first place, but she did so this is her current best option).  But the fact that Mia is so strongly in favour of telling him he’s a dick is swaying Kiki.  Of course, Mia is a strong person and from her it probably would feel empowered.  But Kiki is, and always has been, far more innocent and vulnerable and sensitive.  It doesn’t feel like (even without knowing where this goes) that this will go well for Kiki, and the fact that Mia doesn’t get that says a lot about her.  I like this; it’s nice to see her not being quite right here - it sets her up for some growth as we move on.  And super yikes when he tells Kiki to take a breath and she does.  This, the importance she places on him, is exactly why this was a terrible idea, and why Mia’s encouragement was wrong.  It’s easy for her - she’s not invested, and her failure to recognise the difference between her and Kiki is really important.  And Alex is SUCH an asshole that this scene is so hard to watch.  Kiki’s acting is superb in all these scenes and it’s so damn hard to watch her take in ‘you’re not worth it’ but as with the original, Mia’s ‘take down’ doesn’t land for me, probably because while Alex’s acting is far superior to William’s, there’s still a fundamental lack of caring about what she’s said.  It doesn’t feel like saving face, but more a genuine lack of care.  And this is why I really dislike this ‘William’ character; he doesn’t seem to care.  I have said before that I’ve never watched Mia’s season because I cannot stand William in the original.  So if I do watch I’ll be interested to see if they can make me like him better.  So far, they’re not succeeding.  

6.  And just like that, we’re back to the soft, dreamy colours and shots of the start of the season.  But there’s a harsher light coming in to some of the shots. particularly with Jonas and so it’s not comfortable.  This is something on a precipice.  The kissing is back and they’re reconnecting on that level, and it’s working again.  The darkness is gone, but things are hovering still - that Sam stuff on her phone with Jonas in the background, slightly blurred but very overlit, adds to the sense of unease.  You can feel something coming, even if it’s not obvious what that is.  

7.  Man this fight is so funny.  I know I shouldn’t say that, and it’s a very serious moment for Hanna, but the slo-mo and the faces they make!  And Amira’s moves!  Kiki, full-on legs wrapped around this girl as they both collapse to the ground!  Priceless.  I do like the way the sound gradually fades out as Hanna’s realisation of what’s happening sets in.  That’s really well done.  

8.  What a change from the earlier moment when Hanna woke with Jonas and they had their sweet little moment.  Now we’re fairly tight in on her face as she keeps trying to get hold of him.  It sucks a lot, and you can sense the anxiety and worry she’s feeling.  Also, I do understand why she feels the way she does about all this, and why she leans on Matteo.  Unlike earlier, here it makes sense for her to rely on Jonas’s best friend.  He’s the one who has the best line in to Jonas when he’s staying so distant from Hanna.  But wow his advice is truly shitty.  On the surface it seems sensible, both times.  Nah don’t tell him; it’ll only hurt him.  Nah leave him be; he needs time and space.  But in both instances it’s the complete opposite of how she should be acting.  And in both cases, Matteo knows Jonas, he knows what he’s like and how he’ll act.  This is so calculated.  And he’s still in a space where he has little to lose.  He feels like he can still ride the ‘hey I had their best interests at heart’ line and get out of it.  I always felt like Isak was more opportunistic in his lying; saying and doing things in the moment.  Whereas this really does feel like Matteo has thought it through more - that’s some difference in the way the two characters are presented and acted.  But I like that it’s different, and his little hint of a smaile when she collapses on him - Isak seemed a lot more genuinely wrapped up in Eva and his face seemed more overwhelmed.  But Matteo really seems to know what he’s doing.  Also - sound mixing in this scene: top notch.  I love that you can hear every swallow, every breath, every step, movement etc.  It really heightens the tension right up til she gets Jonas’s ‘don’t call me’ text.

9.  I said it before and I’ll say it again, Leonie’s savage pleasure in Hanna’s troubles is a real reflection on her - and not a good one.  I really do get that she’s hurt, but this is vicious and she’s being awful!  And Kiki - ugh, just be quiet child.  Calling other girls sluts is pretty shitty.  

10.  I really like that Eva’s mother morphs into Hanna’s father.  There’s a difference in this dynamic that builds on that difference.  Eva and her mother seem closer, even while her mother isn’t around much.  Hanna’s father just feels more absent emotionally, so these moments where he tries to be a dad fail because of that.  It’s obvious that he cares for her and that he’s trying, but equally obvious that he just doesn’t know what she needs or how to approach her.  Not that Eva’s mother was much better, but it was still a different sort of distance.

anyway, this is suuuuper long because so much happened in this episode.  It’s packed with a lot of stuff and while some stuff is starting to resolve, there’s so much that’s hanging over their heads still.  I like this one a lot, but I think it could have done with a little bit of breathing room.  Maybe that one episode where it felt like things were waiting to happen could have picked up some of this heavy lifting.  But either way, this one has a lot going for it and really does set us up for what’s coming in the next few.

[pinkasrenzo]

mid-year book freak out tag

ty for the tag @bloody-wonder! time to rant about books ayy

1. Best Book You've Read So Far in 2021?

It has to be This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone. Loved everything about it, the style the story (even if it did take me a while to understand what was going on) the characters the absolute yearning it was just. perfect.

But also The King’s Men by Nora Sakavic for a lot of reasons I still don’t really know how to put into words? I still need some time to process this series ig

2. Best Sequel You've Read So Far in 2021?

The Golden Yarn by Cornelia Funke, I’ve waited so long to read this and finally (fINALLY!) I did and it did not disappoint. The worldbuilding was just fantastic, loved how the mirror world geography/political asset was based on early 8th century history I’m so weak for this. Also I just,,, missed the mess that is Jacob Reckless so much my boy my precious son give him some fucking rest.

(And ofc honourable mention part 2 The Raven King by Nora Sakavic this book really was a gut punch)

3. New Release You Haven't Read Yet, But Want To?

The Silver Tracks by Cornelia Funke, I’ve been waiting for this book for like 5? years now? I just need to read this if only the English translation came out sooner hhhhhh

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2021?

Leviathan Falls by James S.A. Corey which I’m also dreading cause it’s the last book of this series and I Do Not Want It To End I’m so not ready for it I know it’ll be so painful and I will cry and I am so worried for specifically One Character cause his story took A Turn already and I Am Fear.

Also Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World by Benjamin Alire Sáenz cause I was not expecting a sequel this year but !!!!! love those boys can’t wait to read about them again njhknjkhk

5. Biggest Disappointment?

Time’s Convert by Deborah Harkness, it did have good parts tbh but overall it was just Not Great. It was very slow paced and flat all around? I wanted Marcus’ backstory and I mean yeah its there but,,, Phoebe’s story was just so boring I liked her in the main trilogy and was interested when the book started with her POV but then she just,,, idk she could’ve been a great character with a new perspective on vampires but she just felt like Bella Swan 2.0 and I am not a fan. Also this book was just unnecessary long, the story was stretched out and went on for way more than it should have

6. Biggest Surprise?

Oh for sure All For the Game series by Nora Sakavic. I started it thinking “oh a fun and light read” but I was a fOOL I was Not expecting,,, anything? that’s in the series? went in thinking it was just another YA about sports and gays and maybe a bit trashy and got suckerpunched with mafia wars, the most sane and healthy relationship I’ve ever seen, great consent and boundaries talk, ace rep??? actually good ace rep?? best trauma handling ive seen in ages, got an existential crisis, started and solved a sexuality crisis (and sort ofa gender crisis i didn't know i had?), a few more personal realisations and honestly just,,, came out of it a complete and utter mess I finished it in April and I am still not over it I literally cannot physically start any other book I just keep going back to this series and its characters I,,, damn Nora

7. Favourite New Author?

I guess it’s pretty fair to say Nora Sakavic at this point

8. Newest Fictional Crush?

uh don’t really get fictional crushes?

9. Newest Favourite Character?

Oh man. I’m going to be predictable but Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten. I just,,, am so emotional about these two but also they’re so complex and multifaceted they’re honestly Great Characters and I’ll never get tired or reading/talking meta about them there’s so much to explore and say about them I’m !!!!!

Also all the foxes have a special place in my heart I love them all ç_ç

10. Book That Made You Cry?

Well of course All For the Game by Nora Sakavic was a rollercoaster I cried a lot for lots of different reasons I do talk about other things besides aftg usually I’m just having a moment ok but also The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid had me in tears, especially reading Harry’s part was,,, a lot. I had a feeling something was going to happen with/to him and then I read the subtitle for his chapter and. i just started crying and didn’t stop it was. yeah.

11. Book That Made You Happy?

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cory O’Brien, making fun of greek mythology never gets old lmao

Also! Didnt make me happy exactly (it was v painful) but I had the most fun reading The Maze Runner series by James Dashner after I put it off for so long (2021 is the year I’m catching up to YAs apparently) and it was just. you know when you read something and think “this author really did not have a plan uh”? That’s TMZ. I feel like Dashner wrote the first book and had this great idea about this maze and it’s brilliant honestly the first book is great but then,,, well he had to write two more right? And he had to get them out of the maze. And that’s when he realised he had to actually think about what was out of the maze, do some actual worldbuilding and fix his plot holes. And he Was Not Prepared For That. At All. like plot holes aside, some choices were just,,, why. Like the scene where Thomas is in that cafe and security goes “there’s an infected everyone evacuate”?? that’s nOT HOW YOU HANDLE AN AIRBORNE VIRUS JAMES (reading this during lockdown truly was an experience)

12. Favourite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year?

Uhh nothing yet but I want to watch And Then There Were None and I’m hYPED

13. Favourite Review You've Written This Year?

Bold of you to assume I write reviews

14. Most Beautiful Book You Bought So Far This Year?

Wanted to pick French back up so I got La Vie Suspendue and Les Yeux d’Elisha by Timothée de Fombelle in the omnibus edition and the cover is actually a map folded on itself and it’s double faced and when unfolded it’s hUGE it reaches to my knees?? Peak Design

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year?

Oh boy so many but I’m most hyped for:

An Unkindness of Ghosts by River Solomon cause nonbinary in space? Sign Me Up

Bunny by Mona Awad cause I’ve been promised batshit horror and I Am Here For It

the Grishaverse books by Leigh Bardugo cause 1) gay heist 2) fantastic worldbuilding 3) I refuse to watch the series and not read the books (also I’ve read lots of mixed reviews about it so ofc I need to know)

The 7 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton cause I do am weak for intricate time loops and impossible murder mysteries

All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater cause I’ve yet to read anything by her and this seems like the right vibe to start with (also the cover is great)

tagging @theblackswanuniverse (I know you have opinions) @pollyna @novishu @butallmystars

[mickstart]

Hello hello bestie, I just wanted to rant and ask about something so I hope this makes sense…I’ve seen some discourse just now about max being ‘the greatest driver on the grid’ and subsequently undermining and disregarding everything lewis has achieved; absolute double standards with the ‘it’s the car’ debate too 😡 so I just wanted to ask for your insight: do you think, since red bull has the better car this season there’s a chance that everyone’s right and max will get his first championship, or it’s not the car and lewis will again (unnecessarily) prove he’s the goat and just demolish the other drivers now that we won’t have street circuits (and thus show mercedes supremacy and dominance and his immense talent and ability) and set new records and solidify himself as the goat??

(Tbh this is me kind of worrying about max winning this year and it might be irrational since we’ve still got more than half the season left … but I just wanted to hear your thoughts) thanks bestie! 💕

fdjgjgdfsfdjh bestie.... bestie I'm afraid to tell you this bestie but I took a vow like 3 hours ago that I was not going to engage in max slander for a week bc I feel bad that I'm talking about that more and want to go back to politely ignoring drivers I don't like and just focusing on drivers I do like. Y'know, Positive Energy. So I am going to be Fair here.

TL;DR below the cut: the comparisons between them aren’t what we should focus on

Red Bull DO have the better car and that means there's every chance max could win the championship this year, and I really think that will be a possibility up until the very last race. Especially if red bull keep improving their car whilst merc keep their focus on the 2022 car. Lewis will absolutely be the goat but I don't see him 'demolishing' max this year the title lead is imo going to trade hands multiple times. Lewis himself proved in 2008 that in a tight championship it's not over till the final corner. I don't personally WANT max to win this year either but it's definitely a possibility. We're so early in the championship that anything could happen so try not to stress yourself too much about possibilities! Also like you say, the removal of Singapore IS a huge boost to Mercedes' chances.

That said I COMPLETELY understand what you are saying about the double standards and the comparisons between Lewis and Max. By the time Lewis was at the point in his career Max is now at, he had a championship. He'd defeated a two time world champion, taken control of his own career and moved to a new team, and generally done a lot More. I'm not saying that to shit on Max because you know, there are reasons for that and it applies to literally the entire grid. It applies to Charles, it applies to Daniel, it applies to Seb, it will apply to Mick. I'm saying that to show just how unfair it is to either say Max is a BETTER driver or to portray this title fight as two titans of the sport battling it out.

Lewis is on another level to everyone else on the grid, that gets ignored or downplayed and I COMPLETELY understand why it's annoying you bc it annoys me too. When max wins in a faster car some people will say "oh he's the greatest driver on the grid" and deny the red bull is faster, but when lewis wins those same people will be like "it's the car" even though they were probably gloating about the merc being slower in pre-season testing. The lack of respect Lewis gets is infuriating but what's pissing me off most is that when he DOES get respect this season he gets it so people can big up max / because he's challenging max, as if his greatness comes from comparison to max.

That kind of brings me to my main point here which is... don't let these people and this whole Lewis & Max comparison get to you or consume you or define how you perceive this season. Lewis is a host unto himself and he's proven his greatness and is continuing to prove his greatness every race. It's not about comparisons between him and max. It's about him being able to go fast enough to pull off merc's insane strategy in Spain, it's about him being so good at defending in Bahrain that he forced another driver into a mistake without doing anything dangerous, it's about him extracting EVERYTHING possible out of the car in Baku, figuring out and choosing his own set-up, and dragging it up to the podium when we KNOW how shit the car was in Baku because Valtteri was struggling to even get points.

Whoever wins this season doesn't matter for Lewis or my opinion of him in the grand scheme of things. I've said it before and I'll say it again: because of the car being slower and his performance contrasted against that, THIS will be the season that in 5/10 years time people tell you to rewatch to see an [X] time world champion at his absolute peak. Moments from this season will be in some future f1tv "top ten moments of Hamilton brilliance" compilations. The winner of this season isn't guaranteed but this - the response to lewis and what he's ALREADY done - is.

TL;DR: Be prepared for a tight, nail-biting title fight, but don't let the constant Lewis slander get to you. Just because other people make Lewis' talent revolve around Max doesn't mean you have to let yourself engage w/ that mindset!!

Anyway, I now give you a picture of Lewis when people say Max is the greatest driver on the grid:

[hxneydreamers]

Hello dear ! I have read your blogs. You are amazing !!!! (10000x 💞 for you ). I wanted to ask a question . Neville goddard said that time doesn't really exist in manifesting . So actually my sp who is celebrity is very very older than me . Like we have a age gap of 12 years. 😥 as said i am minor. I decided to manifest him when i am 18 . But sometimes i get impatient but then i feel a bit upset and it's not legal to date a minor. Plus he lives in korea . As i have indian parents they never will allow me to even fly to korea. And even if we get in a relationship . They will never like him. Tho my mother is into the group (he is in a group ) she won't ever. As being in india , india is pathetic country with bs Trash . They ( the group is seen as bunch of gays) and most hurting thing is lgbtq is not accepted in this fuking country . Ppl tread them as trash not human. They get so much discrimination ( most of them are transgender ) and hate . Like they have to live together because thier parents disown them and stuff. Makeup is gender less. But in this country men have to be men. like all the fking indian celebrity don't ever wear makeup (males) . (Not gonna lie they all don't even have clear skin like korean ) Skin care is not menly . Men shouldn't do it. The mentally in this country is fucked up.

Now back to the topic.

- how my parents will judge him ? (Most my papa because mom knows a lot about korean cultural but she won't stand with me including some mfs relatives who judgemental af . Relatives ohh my these bishs are hella judgement (most the old one) doesn't matter how they themselves look or personality )

- is he gay ? Why he so feminine ? He is uses makeup damn sure he is gay or somthing he is a girl for sure !!

Doesn't matter how successfully he is and his personality . Doesn't matter how much more he is successful more than you. (Relatives and parent) don't matter if loves your beautiful daughter. doesn't fuken matter if he is caring and financial stable.

- as i minor they won't let me go to even study in korea !

- tbh my plans are to skip 12 or 10 grade (i am in 8 th grade now) and study in korean university as it's one of my dream. Then work as cosmologist here . I want to to have family here.

But but but

My parents hahah never i even asked them they even made fun of my dreams and they said it's gonna take 20 years to reach there .

I am extremely discouraged .

Then on the other hand i also want to desire body before everything happens . Like going to korea and stuff.

I suck at affirming and visualizing . I habe never got results from scripting.

Plus i got my school too. Omg also learning korean too.

Omg i am so done !! 😭 please help me and guide me. And advice me ! i am extremely sorry for my bad english . I am not a native.

Everything is so hard

Hey! Thank you so so so much for reaching out to me! I really appreciate you coming to me for advice! Don’t worry, your English was fine!

*I'm going to begin this post by clarifying that whilst it is possible for you to manifest anything in your reality, I do not encourage you manifesting this person if you are underage and they are much older. You have said in your question that you will not manifest them until you are 18, which is good, however I will just make it clear that this post is to help you manifest the other circumstances in your reality, and not the person or the age gap.*

Let me start by telling you I obviously haven’t experienced this as intensely as you have as I live in a country where people are much more open-minded about sexuality and ideas of masculinity, but I have stories to share with you from my own life that are very similar to what you want to manifest! They might encourage you! (PS, these following stories all took place from when I was at the age of 19 and up.)

(This story is before I knew about manifesting). My parents are very strict and traditional and I always wanted to go overseas to study in a specific country for at least a few months. My parents forbid it and I never would have been allowed to go, but I wanted it so badly that it was all I thought about and dreamed about! I started watching a TV show set in that country every single day. I even learned the language for fun. I somehow manifested it, because the next year, I took a semester off university and I went to that country for 3 months to live. So no matter what your parents say, you can 100% manifest this.

I had a celebrity crush in that country and I wanted to meet him and be with him SO BADLY! I didn’t know about manifesting until afterwards unfortunately, but guess what? I manifested seeing him MULTIPLE TIMES on the street, because I constantly thought about seeing him there and bumping into him! I even messaged him once and he responded. I also had one of his best friends on snapchat because I met him when I was there lol. I never got the celebrity crush because I focused too much on negative things. If I knew about manifesting, I would have gotten what I wanted.

My (specific person) SP who I am currently dating is actually someone who my parents also didn’t approve of for a long time because of sexuality and he is not stereotypically masculine! They also kept telling me negative things. The good news is that now my parents accept him and are happy for us!

Thank you for giving me the background information on your circumstances, it helps me understand your situation much better, and it also shows me how you’re thinking about the situation as well, which is the most important thing.

The beliefs you have are these:

Parents and other people not approving of the kind of people you are interested in.

You don’t think you can go to Korea for a long time

I’m happy to tell you that YOU CAN CHANGE THIS SITUATION!

As I said in the beginning, the age gap is illegal and should not be manifested. So as a result, you should begin with your beliefs about your family's negative opinions and your ability to travel in the future.

You need to stop mentally reacting to what they say when it’s negative about men who are not stereotypically masculine etc, and also when they say negative things about you ever traveling. They are only saying these things because in your mind you believe this to be true. Reality is an illusion and you need to know that if you really push through and persist, even if it feels extremely difficult, you can change this!

You should start by affirming your self-concept, something like this (you can also affirm in your own language if you prefer so it's natural to you :) whatever is comfortable for you!)

I am capable of anything!

I am a master at manifesting!

I always get what I want easily and effortlessly!

Everything always works out how I want!

Then I want you to affirm for your circumstances:

My family is always extremely accepting and encouraging!

I’m so happy that I’m going to Korea!

If you find it hard to visualise you can just affirm. I know you may feel like you’re bad at it, but if you practice it will get easier. Set a timer for 5 minutes and say your affirmations over and over! Make sure you don’t have any distractions. Focus on them. Do this several times a day, every day.

Also, if you can get the app ‘ThinkUp’ record yourself saying your strongest affirmations, and listen to them at night when you sleep. Start with your self-concept affirmations only for maybe 2 weeks! Then you can add your other affirmations.

Your goal is to change the way you feel and think about yourself and what you are able to do, your surroundings and your family’s opinions. Start with these things. Really persist in them.

I hope this helps in some way! If you ever need to reach out to anyone, so many people on Tumblr in the manifesting community are here to listen! We all want each other to succeed and I know that if you put the work in to do this, you will too!!

I also recommend you start binge-watching one of these youtube channels:

Sammy Ingram

Manifesting With Kimberly

Manifesting Secrets

Dylan James

Create Your Future

YOU CAN DO THIS <3

[earthingoddity]

so you know how y’all are constantly like: “what’s there to like about season five???”. i decided to make a list *-*

1. the discussion of disability in a teenage show. how many teenage shows can you name featuring disabled characters? and how many of those feature a character becoming disabled in the course of the show and having to adapt to that? i was very surprised when i realized this was the route they were going to take this season and i think it was very well done.

so let’s break that down:

1.1 they actually made sure to talk about other disabilities. i know some people will say they were just doing the bare minimum, but i disagree. that is such a complex theme, they could’ve easily said representing other disabilities respectfully would be a lot of work for only ten episodes, but they did their best with the limited amount of time they had.

1.2 the representation of the deaf community wasn’t limited to their disability. it actually pisses me off hearing people say “wow, for a while there, i even forgot arthur was deaf!” as if he *has* to let you know everytime he’s on screen. disabled people are more than their disabilities, thank you very much.

1.3 overall, it was a positive representation. they could’ve spent so much time going through all the things that would be too hard for arthur, but they actually had an entire episode where arthur was completely deaf - he took his hearing aids off - and it was a very happy and positive episode. he was having fun, clubbing, dancing, laughing with others, and i think we took a lot of that for granted in the midst of everything that was going on, but that was a really positive representation that didn’t limit itself to stereotypes around deaf/disabled people. i actually expected that they’d drag a lot longer the feeling of loneliness and discomfort of the first couple of episodes, but they quickly changed that rhythm, so that instead of focusing on what arthur was “losing”, they focused on everything that arthur was gaining - new friends, a new love interest and a new way to see the world. also, in relation to the whole implants thing, they delivered very in depth opposite perspectives on the matter and never felt like they were shaming one group or the other.

2. SyMbOLisM! skam france is very good at it and they nailed this aspect in season three. but there was a lot of it in season five as well. like the 7am clips in episode 2, that were used to show the lack of progression in arthur’s hearing and his growing frustration and how those clips were incredibly dark, to match his mood. episode 7 also had such an interesting meaning. with arthur taking the chance to explore the world without his hearing aids, he got to explore a whole *new* world, and not a lacking one, which ties very well with what i just said about being a positive rep, but also shows that the entire episode wasn’t about arthur finding a new layer of himself, but rather him just uncovering one that was already there.

3. use of music/sound effects. it can be hard to represent deafness in a media like a tv show, but skam france did it so well. the use of music is always very conscious in this remake; while others really go hard in the soundtrack, skam france hardly ever has background music, unless it means something. another small thing but that i loved was whenever arthur was taking off/putting on his hearing aids, if he was to put the left one first for example, the sound on the left side of your headphone would start first. it was such a small thing but made the experience a lot more immersive imo, as well as the use of muffled sounds, pitching, etc.

4. Arthur. i am always surprised whenever i hear people say that they liked arthur better when they were not in his pov. i completely disagree, but then again, i feel like this fandom has very unhealthy expectations on their mains, as if they haven’t watched already 4 seasons of the main making mistakes over and over again, lol. i loved getting to know more of arthur - he’s loyal AF and protective of the people he loves. he struggles in letting people in, though, and never wants to be a burden or worry others. he’s perceptive and quick to notice when his friends need help. he is also short-tempered and when he gets mad, it is explosive, but he doesn’t hold grudges for long. he was a much more complexed character than i imagined and he totally made this season for me.

5. le gang. this boysquad is the best, sorry. they’ve always been the funniest and warmest, but it was really nice how s5 explored all the sides of that relationship, including the not so pretty ones. they were the relationship i wanted the most angst from, and i am so happy i got it. i loved seeing how chaotic, but supportive they were of arthur though and they brought so many laughs this season.

5.1 the lack of toxic masculinity. i think this ties well with arthur, because it is amazing to me that even though we were following a straight white boy as a main this season, we had no moments of unhealthy masculine competition; le gang could actually talk about other things rather than just porn stars and jerking off (other boysquads Wish!); and arthur would literally flirt with anyone without a care in the world, because he’s certain of his sexuality like that. it was *refreshing* for once not to be confronted with these tropes that have become so common in teenage shows.

7. alexia. i have to talk about alexia separately here, because that’s the most we’ve ever seen from a chris character (not counting eskam cris, ofc), and i loved her so much. she wants to be a videogame designer and she’s creative and adorable. she always knew how to make arthur laugh, but also knew when he needed words of affirmation and she was never shy in telling him how much she loved him. it was also amazing seeing her open up about some of her insecurities, and that her confidence is something she had to work on as well. she was such a great friend & girlfriend and just ugh the best.

7.1 the female characters are badass and unapologetic. i am aware that the love triangle was unnecessary and a mess. but i am not mad about the way both characters were represented, because they were both great characters. i liked alexia more simply because i was already attached to her from previous seasons, but noée was badass as well and teaches arthur so much, and not only about her experience as a deaf person, but about life/love in general.

8. arthur’s relationship with his mom. we LOVE and STAN parents in the skamverse. arthur and his mom had the best relationship ever; i loved how they truly became a team by the end of the season. but since the moment she showed up, it meant so much that arthur could have at least one supportive and loving parent, no matter how much he screwed up or felt lost. his mom was really trying her best and i adored her.

9. *actual* adult advice. i understand why all the adults in the skamverse are a bit cringey and weird, but i feel like this results in these characters relying on each other’s poor advice throughout an entire season before they realize what they actually should do. and the talk with the school’s nurse and his doctor by the end of the season was meaningful AF and i wish something the remakes would explore more often, because it could resolve so many of their issues just talking to someone who knows better, lol.

10. the relationships with the girlsquad. i know this is actually very intentional of skam france - to build a specific kind of dynamic between the main and all the side characters. we saw that in season 3, and i think it’s a lot more evident here, but it still made a lot of sense and warmed my heart so much. arthur and imane were the purest - she was the first one to notice that something was wrong with him and also reached out to give him advice on how medical school could still be a possibility even with his disability when she absolutely didn’t have to, but she’s just a sweetheart like that. arthur and daphné had a lot more tension, which is understandable, because both are protective of their own best friends (bas and alexia) and would defend them to the ends of the earth. i think they honestly have a lot more in common than they think. but my favorite dynamic was arthur and emma. i totally did not expect for emma to have such a part in this season, but every single one of their interactions was Gold. emma could see a lot of herself in arthur and i think that’s why she was so quick to notice that he wasn’t interested in becoming a surgeon at all. that scene when she says it would’ve been nice to have arthur as a brother was the sweetest thing Ever.

11. i’ll finish with the acting. y’all, the guy who plays arthur literally CARRIED this season and i hope his back is doing fine. he was So powerful - he made me cry, and laugh, and feel frustrated. he delivered every single emotion perfectly. i also think that the fact these actors are friends irl (i assume? lol but i think i’ve seen them in each other’s personal IG stories) really helps their chemistry on camera. le gang feels like a group of brothers/best friends and they were always so natural and effortless in their interactions. the new actors also Rocked and delivered so much emotion even if they were using a completely different language and it was awesome.

(also, this just literally applies to *me*, a lucas lallemant HOE, but it was so nice seeing lucas up close from a different perspective. the fact we could still see so many layers of him: his emotional self, his bratty self, his supportive self, even a touch on his abandonment issues and everything made me so happy. i think sometimes i forget the lucas character was real and not something i made up because he feels too good to be true, and it was really interesting seeing him from arthur’s POV).

i’m not here defending the mistakes they made in s5, i don’t think it’s a perfect season either, but tbh i have yet to find what i consider to be a perfect season in the skamverse, so here’s just some things i liked about this season that i feel like y’all should take into consideration as well. thx

[stingykei]

Suna Rintarou x Reader Oneshot : I'm tired.

Word count: idk tbh hahshahahshs

Genre: Angst :

Warning: curses; mention of self harm

You were making food at Suna's apartment. His favorite food. You've noticed how stressed he looked these past few days and decided to treat him with something good. You have his bed ready, so he can rest. You basically cleaned his place. He was still out practicing right now. It's getting late and you were kinda worried about him but you dismissed that feeling.

You had his food ready and a drink. You looked at the time, 18:55 he should be here now. Then minutes of waiting, someone opened the door. You looked who it was. It was Suna.

"Hey Suna. You're late, I was waiting for you." You told him, while trying to get his bag.

"Yeah? I didn't asked you to." He said, glancing at you. Your brow raised, then you went on getting his bag for him. He hand it to you, then you put it on his room.

"There's food in the table. You should eat. I've also cleaned up your room so you can rest." You kinda shouted when you said that. Just a little bit so he can here you from his room.

"Yeah I know." You heard the chair moved. You noticed that he's weird. I mean you guys have these days you throw mean thing to each other but... you stopped what you were thinking. He's probably just tired, yeah that's it.

You went outside, where he was. He was seated there, eating silently. You sat at the chair near him. You two were silent then you decided to break that silence. "So.. how was practice?" He looked at you then you smiled.

"It was, okay." Then he continued eating. You just let him finished eating. After finishing he put his dishes in the sink, leaving it there. You'll wash that later.

He went to his room, then proceed to his study table. "Where was the papers here?" He asked while rummaging his things.

"I keep some papers in your folder, there. I threw the others away, the crumpled ones." You said, helping him look for his things.

You've been looking for a while now, then he grunted. "Nevermind, I'll just ask my classmate." He flop down on his bed. Looking very annoyed. You look at him, he was making you weird. Sadness was creeping in your feels. You breathe deeply.

You approached him, his brow were furrowed. He was closing his eyes. "Are you sick? Do you have a headache?" You asked but he didn't answer. He turned on the other side.

"Rinrin. Are you okay? What's wro–" "F*ck stop! You're very annoying." He said very annoyed and pushing your hand away. He sat on his bed. "Stop this! You're very noisy, it's very annoying! You sound like mom! I'm very tired and you welcome me like this, talking and talking. You probably even threw to my project!"

You were surprised, hurt? sad? You don't know. "What's wrong? You are very grumpy today." You tried laughing this off, since he's just tired.

"I'm tired of you talking, so much. Can't you give me space? Please? I need that so much. It's like you're choking me with this, everything! I don't understand, just leave!" He said angrily like you've done something wrong.

Your mouth gaped slightly open, your brows furrowed. You shook your head then fling your hands in the air. "Okay fine. I'll give you the space you need. Stupid. You're stupid. Dumbass. I hate you." You said backing away, getting your things.

"Yeah whatever, now leave!"

"Yeah asshole! F*ck you!" You threw him a f*ck you sign, then went to the doorway and you wear your shoes hurriedly. You were about to cry. You opened the door then closed it harshly.

It was so cold outside but you don't mind, When were out, you cried there. You knew you two are drifting away somehow. He was busy practising, he was like this too the other day. You didn't think much about it since there's nothing you can do but take care of him. It didn't occur to you that you were a bother to him. It was so stupid, taking care of him.

There was no tears coming out in your eyes but you heart felt very heavy, you didn't know what to do. You prayed that you won't anything stupid, you have a history of self harm and right now you wished that you won't do it again. This always happens when you can't cry out your heart. You hated this feeling so much it hurt.

It was hard to breath, the beating of your heart was fast and it was cold so it's hard breathing. You fished out for your phone, you know you need someone. If you don't reach out then you'll just be going back to your past. Shutting out everyone else.

You dialed his number. "Hey, Y/N?" You heard Kenma on the other line.

He heard your heavy breathing. " K-Kenma, can I come over?" His house was the closest. "Where are you?" He asked, you answered him, looking around trying not to faint.

5 minutes later, you saw Kenma when you were nearing his house. Kenma looked worried. He invited you inside, offered you a hot drink. He didn't ask anything, as you were breathing slowly, trying to calm down. Then you looked at him, you looked at his worried face.

"I'm fine." You smiled then you cried. He offered you a hug then you hugged him.

+++

Suna fell asleep an hour later Y/N left. He woke up with the sun hitting his face. He was about to get up to get ready for school when he remembered it was Saturday. He reached for his phone then there was a message from Kita. "Suna, there will be practice today at 10." You replied okay, it was it 7 in the morning.

He stand up, he did his daily routine. Then he went on the kitchen. Usually at this time, there will be food in his table, but today, there was none. "Y/N?" Suna tried calling out her name, but he remembered that he made her leave yesterday. He sat on the chair, he hit his head. He was so stupid. He muttered, 'fuck, I messed up.'

He tried calling your phone several times but you won't pick up. He sighed. He was very tired lately, there was a lot of projects and there was also a strict practice going on. He sighed. He stand up, looked for instant noodles to eat.

He probably thought that you will just come around like always. He thought. sike beech

A week came and he haven't seen even her shadow. He tried calling you but there's still no answer. She probably blocked him. Suna was a little bit fine now, he found the paper he was looking for in his bag. He accidentally bring it to school. He passed on all of his projects, and he was able to breathe a little from their strict practice. His body was getting used to it.

He really messed up this time. He haven't heard a news from you. He also noticed how messy his place became, you were usually the one who cleaned his place. He facepalmed himself, he was annoyed with himself. For being so stupid. He cleaned his place before leaving. He decided to go to your place this time, to check up on you.

++

You visited Kenma in his place, then offered him to jog. Kuroo was there too, Kenma tried to complain saying he doesn't want to go. It basically took you forever to convince him. You three went on a jog, you laughing at Kenma. He looked so uninterested. They decided to stop in your place and you saw a familiar person standing in front.

"Suna? What are you doing here?" He looked at you, "Y/N, hey can we talk?" He looked at you while slowly approaching you. You nodded.

Kuroo and Kenma decided to go inside your house so you two can talk. He was silent looking at his shoes. He doesn't know what to say.

"So, you got the space you need." You said, looking uninterested. He looked at you, he just nod.

"Y/N I'm sorry for what I said, I was just tired." He tried explaining, trying to hold you. You looked uninterested.

You were tired somehow. "Yeah, sure. You're forgiven." You said to him. His face lightened up. "Give me space. I'm tired too." His face frowned.

"W-what?" He stuttered. "Why? I– We're good now right? I apologized. What's the problem?" He asked softly looking in your eyes for answers. He was holing your hands.

"You think, that's it? You apologize then everything's okay? Everything's fine? It's not that easy! It tooks me this long time to atleast try and forgive if ever you apologize and I did! I forgive you, so many times already. Everytime you were tired, you lashed out. You apologize and I forgive you. But Sunaa.." You put your hand on his cheek. With a sad look in your eyes. There it is again, the goddamn tears. "I'm tired. My heart is heavy, I'm hurt. Everytime this happens, I don't blame you. I blame myself for not being enough, for not making myself useful to you. I can't help you if you're tired, it seems that I just keep on annoying you. I hated myself more for that." There it is, a tear rolled down your cheeks.

He didn't notice, your face looked tired. Very sad, "No no, Y/N please. You're more than enough, I was foolish, very stupid. I– Please. I can't live without you anymore. These past few days without you was very hard. I can't, please Y/N. Come back to me." His voice was very soft, his hands were caressing your face. He felt like crying but he didn't.

You sighed. You love him so much to do this to yourself. "Okay. I love you." With that, he kissed your lips then "I won't let this happen ever again. I promise." He said giving you another kiss.

Somewhere in Y/N's place.

"Yaknow, if you confessed first. There was a probability you two would be together. Kenma." Kuroo trailed off as he watched Kenma looking at you and Suna together.

"Nah. I doubt." Kenma broke him staring then looked at Kuroo with a smile.

Kuroo sighed, "I would've shipped you two more. You guys will be match made from heaven."

Kenma ignored what he said then played on his phone. Stupid self, I should've confessed.

end.

[into-control]

Into i need help. I bought a oculus quest 2 right and i tried to connect it to my laptop and it wont work so I realized i needed and actual pc gaming setup you know, problem is idk anything about PCs and i dont wanna get scammed. Can you help me? Ive looked online and idk wtf im looking at tbh. Can you give like advice and shit lol 😂 love you into 💕

well i'm not a professional at pcs by any means but i've always had a huge fixation on them so i can try to help as much as possible and i'll even try to put it in simple terms. fair warning, i talk A LOT in this post because i love rambling about computers :') i tried to use the simplest terms possible since you seem confused but if something doesn't make sense just ask and i can try to reword.

it all depends on what you want out of your pc. and do you want to build one or get a prebuilt one? if you want my advice i recommend building one. getting a prebuilt pc is the easiest way to get scammed because retailers tend to overcharge and they think they can get away with it because they stuck a flashy high end graphics card and colourful lights in it even though it has shit airflow and they cheaped out on the motherboard and power supply or something like that. if you're going to get a prebuilt pc make sure you look at allll the specs and consult some online reviews to see if they're any good, and figure out if you're going to be overcharged. now i'll talk about building one. a lot of this will still be useful if you're considering buying a prebuilt though.

the very first step is deciding your budget. idk where you are but in USD the typical amount to spend on pc parts is i think like $1000 - 1500 (you can spend less but that's if you don't have a lot of money to spend and are still desperate to have a gaming pc). i'm spending around $1700 CAD (before taxes, eugh) on mine bc i want to get into more demanding games eventually. it sounds very costly but computers like these can last you a decade and are very multifaceted. figuring out your budget first instead of going right ahead and buying stuff is important because each component should take up specific percentages of your budget. another important thing to consider when deciding your budget is if you want RGB (the colourful lights as previously mentioned), because components with that capability are slightly more expensive.

after deciding your budget, your first move is deciding what graphics card (GPU) you want. the GPU is responsible for processing and presenting the visuals on your screen. theoretically it should take up between 35 - 40% of your budget because it is the powerhouse in a gaming system. you have two developers to choose from here: NVIDIA or AMD. from what i've seen people tend to prefer NVIDIA but AMD cards aren't bad and they definitely compete in performance. i'll talk about nvidia though because that's what i know more about. by searching up the oculus quest 2 system requirements it tells me you at least need an nvidia geforce gtx 970. this card came out in 2014 and is by no means bad however it is actually the same base price as a lot of newer cards. if you want to go better than the minimum requirements, first consider what your monitor is capable of. if you don't have one yet, consider what you want it to do. monitors are not considered a part of the budget i keep mentioning by the way. idk how much this matters to you since we're talking about the oculus quest 2 but i'm just kind of assuming you're going to use this pc for other games too. the main two things to take into consideration are max resolution and refresh rate. my monitor has a resolution of 1920 x 1080 and a 144hz refresh rate. what the resolution means is that there are 2,073,600 pixels in the screen, and can go up to a resolution of 1080p in video games. the refresh rate means the monitor can refresh the picture on the screen 144 times a second, therefore can show a max of 144 frames per second in a video game. to put that in to perspective, most screens have a refresh rate of 60hz, such as regular laptop screens, iphone screens, etc.. monitors come in mainly 60hz, 75hz, 144hz, and 165hz, and for resolution they mainly come in 1080p, 1440p, and 4k. seeing as i don't have any plans on upgrading my monitor any time soon, dropping extra money on a GPU that can achieve more than 144fps and 1440p/4k would be pointless. but forget about the monitor, the oculus quest 2 has a max refresh rate of 120hz and its resolution lies somewhere between 1080p and 1440p. if you know what kind of games you're going to be playing, look up how they perform with different kinds of cards. i'm fairly certain anything above an nvidia geforce rtx 3070 would be pointless because of your display limits, and anything below the nvidia geforce gtx 970 simply won't be enough for the system. you can look at all the GPUs ranked here. after deciding which GPU you want you need to figure out which brand of it you want (NVIDIA themselves, asus, gigabyte, evga, etc), because they all perform at slightly different levels, although the difference is usually only a few frames so it's better to save money. something to watch out for is the quality of the fans in the GPU because if they aren't good, it will overheat and underperform. i'm aiming to get a 3060 or 3060 ti, if that helps. the only problem is that there is currently a worldwide GPU shortage due to covid, tariffs, and the cryptocurrency mining boom (gpus are used in bulk to mine). fortunately there is currently a crypto mining crackdown happening in china, where majority of mining in the world happens, so the demand for GPUs will hopefully start going down soon. you wont be able to build your pc right away but the market is looking better than it has in awhile. this is just about the only argument i have in favor of getting a prebuilt pc, because they have GPUs in them and are more readily available. i don't think that's a good enough reason though especially since part of the reason i'm building my pc is because it looks fun lol. another thing to note is that you should not overspend on your GPU. the shortage has caused a lot of GPU prices to skyrocket into the $2k-3k range but none of them should be above 1k except the highest end ones. when deciding on a GPU, search up the manufacturer's suggested retail price (MSRP). cards made by brands other than AMD and NVIDIA will almost always cost a little extra, but do not pay hundreds of

extra dollars. but anyways!! the GPU is now out of the way and is definitely the longest paragraph here because it's the most important part.

next up is the central processing unit (CPU), which you should be spending about 20 - 25% of your budget on. its job is essentially to retrieve instructions from the RAM and execute it. i suppose you could call it the brain. again you have two developers to choose from, this time between intel and AMD. i've had two laptops with an intel CPU and my current one has an AMD CPU and both are very good, however the general consensus is that you can get the same performance for less by going with AMD. CPUs have cores, and each core can run its own process. the more cores you have, the more your pc can think about basically. you can get CPUs will all sorts of amounts of cores but for gaming, 4 or 6 cores is all you really need. 8 is actually already a bit overkill. so you really don't need to get the best CPU out there. the one you get should depend on what GPU you get (hence choosing that component first). you don't want to bottleneck your GPU by getting a CPU that isn't good enough for it, but bottlenecking your CPU with the GPU by a small amount isn't as big of a deal because the goal is to allow your GPU to be used to its full ability. another detail about CPU is clock speed, which determines how quick it can complete tasks. the higher the faster, obviously. my (non gaming) laptop's CPU clock speed is 2.30 GHz and has 4 cores. the cpu i have for my build is the AMD ryzen 5 5600x. it has a base clock speed of 3.7 GHz but it can be maxed out to 4.6 GHz, and it has 6 cores. the oculus quest 2 has a minimum requirement of the AMD ryzen 5 1500x or the intel i5-4590, which is a little low on the performance list. but like i said the CPU should depend on the GPU. all it takes is a google search for which CPU goes best with the GPU you've chosen and you can find several answers depending on if you want the best possible performance, best budget performance, etc.. a nice little fact about choosing AMD over intel is that most AMD CPUs will come with a stock cooler, which is absolutely necessary otherwise your CPU will overheat (this is another thing prebuilts will cheap out on). this only adds to the whole price-to-performance thing. the stock cooler will most likely do unless you push your pc or want the build to look prettier.

next on the list is a motherboard, where all the parts come together in unity. you should spend 8 - 10% of your budget on this baby. it's easy to over and underspend on a mobo. the most important thing when it comes to choosing a mobo is that it supports your CPU. you cannot use the same mobo for intel and AMD CPUs. fortunately the product page will straight up tell you which CPU brand the mobo is meant for and will typically have two versions of the same board. it's important to note that motherboards don't always have onboard wifi, meaning it wont be able to connect to the internet via wifi and instead needs an ethernet cable or an external wifi adapter. if you can't get an ethernet cable to the room where you want your pc, you're going to need onboard wifi, or a wifi card/usb. onboard wifi mobos tend to be more expensive so it's up to you, but i personally bought one with wifi included so i wouldn't have to worry about it because our ethernet cables are in the basement and i'm upstairs. another very important thing about motherboards is that their BIOS version (operating system i guess?? idk how else to describe it) doesn't always support your CPU out of the box and must be updated before using it. this can present as a problem if you don't have another CPU to perform the update with, however some motherboards allow you to 'flash' the BIOS with a only usb drive as long as it's hooked up to power. there are plenty of step by step youtube videos about how to do this. i will have to do this with my motherboard when the time comes because it doesn't support ryzen 5s out of the box. don't let this deter you from getting a certain board as long as it has a BIOS flash feature. next up is what I/O ports you want, which are the ports (usb ports, headphone/mic jack, hdmi port, etc) you'd find on the back of any desktop computer. that is the side of the motherboard. basically just be aware of how many of each ports you want, and remember that there will probably be even more ports on the front of the case you get. the last thing i can think of right now is making sure your motherboard has all the headers (where you plug components in) you want it to have but i'll get to that later.

next up on the list is RAM, aka random access memory. this stores short term data. the amount of RAM you have kind of determines how much your pc can multitask. RAM sticks typically go up by some multiple of 2GB. most standard laptops and desktops nowadays will come with 8GB of RAM, which is enough for day to day use. it can be enough for mid and low end games however it cuts it pretty close most of the time. 16GB of RAM is the sweet spot for gaming and anything above that is pretty much overkill (and once again a waste of money) as long as you don't have a billion unnecessary background processes. a large amount of RAM is typically needed for video editors or computer programmers. you should always make sure your motherboard can support the amount of RAM you want although any good motherboard will support 64GB or even 128GB. the best option is to get a 16GB RAM pack, which will include two 8GB RAM sticks. splitting RAM between two sticks will increase efficiency. this is called dual channel. i also recommend getting DDR4 RAM, which is simply faster than DDR3. a good speed to have is around 3600 MHz. make sure your motherboard supports DDR4. you also want to be weary that your RAM is compatible with your CPU brand because they do have to interact for your pc to function.

next is storage. there are three-ish options here depending on how much you're willing to spend. generally you should spend 8 - 10% of the budget here. you can always get a good ole hard drive for the cheapest, however they are the slowest and physically biggest option, meaning whatever you put on it will take a bit longer for your pc to retrieve and open (they can load about 100-200MB of data per second). the next option is a solid state drive. they are a little more expensive but can load as much as 600MB of data per second and take up less space. the last and most efficient/expensive option is an m.2 nvme drive. these things are physically absolutely tiny and can load up to 4GB of data per second. anything you put on these will open very very quickly. the fairly standard solution for this is a combination of two of these three. personally i'm using one m.2 drive and one hard drive. the hard drive i have can store 2TB while the m.2 drive can only store 256GB. funnily enough these two drives are roughly the same price. the idea here is to install your operating system on the faster drive. this makes it so it only takes like 8 seconds tops for your pc to start up. you can also put any other programs you use most often on there (like your main browser and favourite games) and they will open very quickly, while the bulk of your games and other files will go on the bigger drive. that's all there really is to say for storage, just make sure the reviews are good on the drive you want to get, but that goes for any component.

next is your power supply (PSU). very very important to not cheap out on this. 6 - 8% of the budget should go to this. the function of the PSU is to do exactly what its name implies: supply power to all the components. this is where the website pcpartpicker can come in very handy. not only does it help you build a list of parts that are all compatible with each other, it will also estimate how much wattage you will need to run your pc. 600W is usually enough for a normal gaming pc. PSUs are ranked, and you should never really go below a bronze ranking. you can also choose between non-modular, semi-modular, and fully-modular PSUs. non-modular PSUs have all the cables permanently attached. this can be desirable to people who are confused by what cable is plugged in where but also undesirable as unused cables cannot be removed and make cable management harder. fully-modular PSUs come with the cables all in a separate bag so you choose which ones to plug in. semi-modular power supplies have the necessary cables attached and the rest can be attached need be. it all depends on preference and how much faith you have in yourself. i have an 80+ gold certified fully modular 750W PSU because the thought of unnecessary cable management makes me sick lol. corsair is pretty much the most trusted brand for power supplies. be careful because this is another place prebuilts will cut corners.

now for the case! this one isn't overly difficult to choose and mainly will just appeal to your aesthetics. it's less important to stick to a precise percent of the budget for this one but you also don't want to spend more than 8%. do you want a black case? a white one? do you want a glass side panel so you can see inside your pc and admire your hard work? besides that, you also need to make sure the case is big enough for your motherboard, GPU, and PSU. most info pages for cases will tell you the max size of the GPU and PSU and what size of mobo it's meant for. you also want to make sure there is a place to put your storage drives (unless you only have m.2 drives which are installed on the motherboard). you also want to make sure it has optimal airflow abilities. a case with no airflow will cause overheating. the best ones have mesh fronts and tops to allow cool air to be pulled in and hot air out. it's even better if you can get a case that comes with fans in the front, because they are what pulls that cool air in.

next is the CPU cooler, which i briefly mentioned. if you don't get an AMD CPU then you'll need to buy a separate cooler. you can choose between air coolers (a fan and a heatsink) or liquid coolers. i don't really have much to say about them and i recommend doing your own research on liquid coolers lol.

last but not least, case fans. like i said a lot of cases will come with front fans and also an exhaust fan at the back, however you might want more, or even replace the ones you already have with better ones. pay attention to how many fans your case manual says can fit and plan accordingly. check out reviews to see if the fans you want are quiet and efficient. if you buy a three pack of case fans there is a chance it will come with a fan hub. this makes it easier to control all of them in sync because the hub will connect all the fans to one header on the motherboard. generally 3-6 fans are pretty good for a gaming pc. two or three in the front pulling in cool air, one at the back and two on the top to pull out hot air.

now that i have all the components out of the way i'm gonna talk about RGB lighting. numerous components that i've mentioned have the option of including LED lights to make your pc brightly coloured, which is always nice if you have a glass side panel on your pc. it's an extra bit of money but i personally was willing to sacrifice that because i want to show off my build lmao. motherboards, RAM sticks, GPUs, CPU coolers, and case fans are the main components that can come with RGB lighting. you can also get special LED strips and power connectors designed for PCs. if you decide to go for RGB lighting, do try to stick to one RGB ecosystem, meaning make sure all the RGB components can be controlled by one program. RGB is controlled by your motherboard. for example if you get an asus motherboard you'll probably want to use their program, aura sync. most components can be controlled by any brand's program however if the motherboard itself has RGB lighting it can only be controlled via its own brand's program, along with the GPU. if you want RGB case fans you really have to make sure your motherboard has RGB headers (the thingy on the motherboard where you plug the fan's LED lights into). most motherboards will only have two-ish RGB headers so if you're going to buy a bunch of fans make sure they come with a fan hub, which lets you plug them all into one header on the motherboard. also, never sacrifice performance for RGB. specifically when it comes to GPUs. if you have a choice between a GPU with RGB and a GPU without RGB, always take the one that has better performance (given it's within the parameters i mentioned earlier).

that's all i have to say :) if you couldn't tell i really love this stuff. i will also recommend you watch youtube videos about this, you can see the build process and the reasoning for using each component, and also tips on what to do and what not to do. i hope this helps and wasn't too confusing. i know you said this is mainly because you got an oculus quest 2 but if you're going to get a gaming pc you should definitely consider games outside of the oculus too.

[charcubed]

I agree with your opinion on ?no thing and wanted to ask what do you think of jackles saying his number 1 reservation about 10.05 was destiel mention. People also use that as a proof that he is/was homophobic, which I tbh can't agree with, bc there's like a million reasons someone can dislike a ship involving their character and it's not fair to immediately make the worst conclusions possible? Idk, can you share your opinion on that?

Part 2:  Forgot to add: and even saying that those reservations mean he dislikes the ship is already an assumption anyway - 10.05 anon

Hi anon! 

First thing I’m going to say is that I think it’s frankly bonkers for anyone, in any fandom, to call someone homophobic for not loudly supporting or maybe not understanding a gay ship. Of course this is a blanket statement and in some ways it can still depend on the situation, because could someone be outright homophobic about a queer ship? Sure. But that’s not always (and tbh, probably rarely) the case in situations like this. As you said, there are a million reasons someone can dislike a ship or simply not understand fandom culture with that kind of stuff; if one is unfamiliar with it, it does take a certain level of PR coaching to understand it more fully. I’ll go back to that though.

I looked around for ages, and for the life of me I can’t find a source on Jensen saying that the Destiel mention was his number one reservation. If that was something he said, can you (or anyone reading this lol) point me to a source?

All I know of–and found in my search again–is this video / article, where he talked about his initial reaction to the episode.

"I didn't have a positive reaction," Jensen Ackles told E! News. "The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god's name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.'"

It took some convincing from executive producer Jeremy Carver for Ackles to finally come around to the idea.

"He gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing," Ackles said. "I guess I had been aware of this 'fan fiction' for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I'm very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn't angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped."

He continued, "I never should have even sat down in that office, so Jeremy, I'm sorry."

So from the perspective of this quote (if that is indeed the quote in question):

No part of this is anti-Destiel lol. I think it’s very clear what he meant by having concerns about this episode. I’d even go as far as to say that if he has said something about worrying about the Destiel name drop (if there’s a source on that I don’t know about), then it was still in this context: he wanted to know what message they were sending with this story. 

I think it’s also key to remember that he’d been aware of fanfic and ignoring it. Why? Because he was also primarily aware of w*ncest fic and J2 tinhatters and the like. There’s a sordid history there, and it’s not unrealistic to say that it caused problems. That was Jensen’s first and primary encounter with fanfic and shipping as concepts, and it makes sense that his method was trying to ignore it and not focus on it. 

Then, the flip side: maybe he didn’t want the fans to feel ridiculed either. What kind of message were they sending with this episode? aka is this going to be a nod to fans, or be seen as making fun of them or even getting their hopes up about a ship?

Then clearly things were explained to him, and he understood, and felt good about it. That counts for a lot. After that conversation, he clearly liked 10x05 and often said as much in other interviews too.

Overall, look, ultimately... I don’t know Jensen as a person, obviously. I wouldn’t ever claim to. But I think he seems to be the kind of person who just doesn’t like being back into a corner, especially very publicly such as at conventions. I think he–like all other actors–know they don’t write the stories and can’t promise things on behalf of the writers’ rooms. This applies to any instances people dredge up across the board.

I think he also–especially in the early days–didn’t understand what fandom wanted from him when they asked him leading questions about Destiel... because even at the best of times sometimes fandom doesn’t know what they want, and because without being coached in the best kind of responses no one would know how to answer perfectly especially back then. A mere 5, 6, 7 years ago, social media was still growing, talk of queer rep was still actively evolving and becoming louder, and fans were becoming emboldened (not necessarily in a bad way) to demand more of stories–but that didn’t mean everyone (especially actors) were engaged or educated on what that all meant for the ways they had to respond including on the spot.

SPN season 10 aired in 2014. Same sex marriage wasn’t legalized country-wide in the US until 2015. Lexa died in The 100 in 2016, and I mention this to put in perspective where queer rep conversations were at the time, using a marker many people know about. 

Is it so surprising that an actor in a show from the early 2000s–with the baggage of w*ncest shipping debacles, network pressures, inability to speak for writers, and already many years’ worth of playing a character who felt personal to him–wouldn’t have known that fandom wanted to hear the exact phrasing of “I’m not sure Destiel is where the story is going but all interpretations are valid and if you think Dean is bi then of course he is” anytime he was asked a question practically designed to trip him up?

It’s not homophobia to have a cocktail of concerns surrounding a topic like that, in context like that, and especially in very public spaces like conventions. (Homophobia is shit like “not everything is about the gays, okay gay people?” Lol.) There are many reasons an actor could dislike a ship, but even more so, there are many reasons an actor may not understand fandom culture or not know how to perfectly address a ship / queer question because they didn’t know what the fans wanted to hear.

Basically, in summary: I agree with you and I’ve never personally seen anything from the backlog of history that Jensen’s said that struck me as either homophobic (a big word people should stop slinging around!!) or deliberately anti-Destiel with malice.

[padfootagain]

Hello everyone! I'm so happy to host a new event for my blog! It has been a while since I made one of these writing events, and I hope you will enjoy it! I've organized it to celebrate my blog hitting 4.7k followers!!! This is unbelievable, tbh, I have no idea what you guys are doing around here, but thank you so much for it anyway!!

So, for the coming weeks, I'll be writing your requests, that you can send me using the prompts I'm proposing in this post, under the cut! I hope you'll have fun!

 Carole, what is going on now?

 For this event, I'll be answering some prompts! The idea is simple: you choose one of the characters I write for and a few prompts, and I will write a one-shot for the character you have chosen, using the prompts you have chosen. You can also indicate more details that you would like to be included in your request (a specific AU or situation… ). It's super easy, and it makes you choose what I'll write for the next 2 or 3 weeks!

 How do we request something?

 In order to send a request, all you have to do is send me an ask through my inbox (please, do not use the dms, it is much harder to manage for me and I will probably forget about your request…). You can choose between 1 and 5 prompts amongst the prompts listed below the cut. The prompts are pieces of dialogue, and it will be my job to imagine a scenario where the characters use these lines. Choose also a character. It has to be a character in my masterlist (at the exception of Billy Russo and Regulus Black, their requests are closed). If you're a little shy, don't hesitate to switch on the anon function, I will still accept your request! Please, only ask for one request, because I want to write for as many people as possible.

And that's it! Super easy, isn't it?

 A sum up?

 In order to get a one-shot:

-Choose a character in my masterlist (except for Billy Russo and Regulus Black, their requests are closed)

-Choose between 1 and 5 prompts that you would like to see appear in your one-shot. There are 100 of them, and they are all gathered below the cut! No need to send me the whole prompt, just send me the number corresponding to your prompts!

-Send me a message through my inbox (no private messages)

-You can only make one request, so choose wisely ;)

-You can ask as an anon if you're a little shy

-I'll be working hard on your request, so a little nice message or at least a 'hello' would be lovely :)

 The requests will be open for 48 hours (September 8 – September 10 2020), and they are open beginning… right now! The duration for the opened requests for the event might change, depending on how many requests I receive.

Please, be understanding that there is no way for me to judge if this event will be popular or not. If I receive too many requests, I won't be able to write all of them. I'm sorry if I don't have time to go to your request, please, be understanding if that happens. But maybe I'll have time to write all of them! It is hard for me to judge beforehand.

I hope you have fun with this event, and thank you all again for your support!

The prompts for the event are listed below. For a few of them, they might include several lines. All prompts are given a number, all you have to do is send me the number corresponding to the prompts you want, no need to type the whole thing in the ask.

Have fun!

NB: I have no idea why so many of those give off some serious idiots in love and idiots to lovers energy, but… it happened…

 1."KISSES!"

 2. "You are too far away."

"I am literally on the couch with you..."

"But are you in my arms? No. See? Too far away."

 3. "If you weren't so cute, I would break your legs right now."

 4. "Wait… are you jealous?"

 5. "Stars and tequila. It's perfect."

"No. Stars, tequila and you. That it perfect."

 6."I think I've made a mistake. Very big mistake. The kind that makes me wonder if I should escape to another country..."

 7. "I WANT MY COOKIES!!"

 8. "Maybe I love you a little too much, and that's why it hurts sometimes."

 9. "Does it hurt?"

"Not that... OUCH!"

 10. "I can't believe you got punched in the face."

"For you. I got punched in the face for you."

 11. "It's dark, and it's late, and I'm cold and I'm drenched with this freaking rain and yet all I can think about is that I love you."

 12. "I know you don't love me. It's okay. I will be whatever you want me to be."

 13. "You don't need to love me for me to love you, you know? That's not how loving works. It would save us all from a lot of pain if it did."

 14. "What do you mean you have a date?"

 15. "I propose that we get excessively drunk and then ruin our lives as a consequence. Sounds good?"

 16. "I'll always be here for you. Don't you know that by now? That I'll never leave?"

 17. "I think we need... to make something explode."

 18. "I'm pretty stupid, aren't I?"

 19. "Huh... is that my shirt you're wearing?"

 20. "I miss you. I hate it. I hate you. I love you."

 21. "I'm proud to be with you."

 22. "So... huh... are we gonna mention that you've just snogged me or...?"

 23. "What do you mean lying to your family about us? What do you mean you need a 'plus one'?"

 24. "I have only one thing to say: that is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Let's do it."

 25. "Huh... were you going to... propose?!"

 26. "Will you marry me?"

 27. "Look... I don't mean to be blunt but... you and me, it's a forever kind of thing. And there's no escape from that."

 28. "Fate? Me loving you, you think it's fate? Nah, it's not fate. It's a choice. I choose to love you and to give you everything I own and everything I am every single day. And that's why what we have is true love."

 29. "Do you have ANY idea of how worried I was about you?"

 30. "I think you've just… puked on my shoes."

 31. "I swear, if you die, I'm going to kill you."

 32. "You're perfect."

 33. "I love you. Do you think you could ever love me too?"

 34. "Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles!"

 35. "I'm sorry. For everything. I'm not going to ask you to forgive me though, cause I know that I don't deserve it."

 36. "Just… shut up and kiss me."

 37. "Please… stay."

 38. "But if you leave now, what am I going to do with the rest of my life?"

 39. "I don't want anything but you."

 40. "You deserve so much more than what I can give you."

 41. "I wish I did, but I don't deserve you."

 42. "You make me so happy, it hurts a little."

 43. "What if we don't make it?"

 44. "Are you… are you bleeding?"

 45. "I… I'm begging you… if you must kill someone, then kill me. But please, please… let him/her go."

 46. "I can't lose you."

 47. "What do you mean… you're pregnant?"

 48. "You are so annoying…"

 49. "You're an idiot. I love you."

 50. "Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me…"

 51. "Well… that was hot."

 52. "So… good morning?"

"We're in the same bed. What the fuck are we doing in the same bed?!"

 53. "I mean, we don't have a choice… there's only one bed. And I am not sleeping on that dirty carpet."

 54. "Us being together, it's a terrible idea."

 55. "LOOK! IT'S SNOWING!"

 56. "This is the worst Halloween costume I have ever seen."

 57. "Promise you'll always love me."

 58. "I need your word. Promise me that you'll come back to me."

 59. "So… does that mean… farewell?"

 60. "I think we’re excellent at making memories.”

 61. "Did you… did you sleep with him/her?"

 62. "Where are you?"

 63. "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"

 64. "Dear God… I'm surrounded by idiots…"

 65. "I don't want you to go with him/her. I want you to choose me instead."

 66. "What if we stayed in bed all day?"

 67. "You fool! Fear my wrath!"

"Babe, you're threatening me with a broccoli, it is not very convincing."

 68. "Karaoke night!"

 69. "I am full of surprises!”

“Sadly, yes, you are...”

 70. "Dance with me. Please?"

 71. "I would do anything to convince you to give me a chance."

 72. "I know it's hard. I know that life keeps on getting in the way. But I love you. I love you with my entire being, and I'm willing to fight for you. I'm willing to fight to keep you."

 73. "Are you… are you crying?"

 74. "Stop stealing my blanket!"

 75. "Happy New Year!"

 76. "Merry Christmas!"

 77. "Is that for me?"

 78. "Happy birthday!"

 79. "So… is that… a date?"

 80. "What do you mean it was a date? It wasn't a date!"

"Of course, it was a date!"

 81. "Well… that… was a good kiss…"

 82. "I'm a complete moron! I'm an idiot! I am the epitome of stupidity! It took me forever to realize it, but now I see it, and I'll be damned if I let you walk away. Because it took me all that time to realize it, but I love you. I love you so much. It's always been you."

 83. "Are you drinking my cocoa?"

 84. "Please, just… hold me. Please, hold me close."

 85. "I'm cold."

"I'll keep you warm."

"Nice try!"

 86. "It hasn't stopped snowing. We're stuck. We're gonna die."

 87. "I AM NOT DYING HERE! IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! WITH YOU!"

"I know that the important information here is that we're gonna die, but I'm very upset that you don't want to do it specifically with me. Why not? I'm a dream!"

 88. "Can I try some of your food?"

 89. "I should have told you long ago."

"Tell me what?"

"That I love you."

 90. "I am not going through a thirty-hours drive with you. There is absolutely no way."

 91. "I used to hate you. Then, I simply disliked you. Now, I hate you all over again."

"Well, the feeling is mutual. But maybe it'll change."

 92. "I really like you."

"I love you."

 93. "Well, if you really were that clever, then you would know that I love you!"

 94. "You have fever, you need to drink this. Come on, now."

 95. "I just… I feel like I'm truly myself when I'm with you. I want to be myself when I'm with you. So now, if you're scared, don't call it love yet. But whatever you want to call it, it's incredible, and I'm not going to give up on this. I'm not going to give up on us."

 96. "You're my home."

 97. "Why is summer so hot?! I'm melting!"

 98. "Have you ever felt like… memories get attached to a word and they almost change their meanings? Like… whenever someone says 'apple' I think of my grandma's pies, to the point that I almost forget that they're talking about the fruit. Well… your name… it's the same for love. When I think of love, I think of you."

 99. "What wish did you make?”

“To spend the rest of my life with you.”

 100. "If you only let me spend the rest of my life with you, I'd be happy with that. I don't ask for anything else, really. My life is complete as long as you're in it."

[the-overgrowth]

Please don't read this ask as combative, I'm just genuinely curious. How do you justify the age difference between Sidra and Val? I know you said Val is technically a teenager/young adult in fae years but isn't that the same justification a lot of immortal/mortal pairings use? (Like Twilight with Edward being "frozen" at 17.) The fact is that Val's lived literally 200+ years more than her and that has to color the experience divide, right? Is there a way authors CAN make these age gaps work?

No worries! I think it’s a good question and gives me an opportunity to clarify some stuff! I should preface this by saying that it’s totally ok if people aren’t comfy with the “young woman paired with ancient magical dude” trope that’s common in fantasy nowadays. It’s not for everyone and that’s fine. I’ve tried to make my take on it more morally palatable, but if it doesn’t work you, then it doesn’t work for you.

Putting this under a cut because it got long, oops.

Val isn’t “frozen,” he literally ages 10 times slower than Sidra, including mentally and emotionally. 50-year-old fae are the equivalent of 5-year-old children. Val being 223 is basically him being in his early twenties, barely mature enough by fae standards to be considered an adult. So while Val has been an adult longer than Sidra has been alive, from her perspective, Val has also been an official “adult” for like, 2-3 years, from his perspective. He also doesn’t see Sidra as being 2 years old, he sees her as being similar to himself in age, as a young adult. In fact, it fucks him up a little that she’s a fully grown person when she’s the same technical “age” as a toddler. The same way it fucks Sidra up that he’s still alive. He can’t wrap his head around how “quick” humans are. To him, growing a mind and a body and a personality takes centuries and she did it in two decades? Weird. Gross.

I should also mention that while yes, technically the sheer amount of stuff he’s seen is more than what Sidra has, the fae also perceive time differently than humans as a result of their immortality. So he doesn’t necessarily retain all of the stuff he’s lived through, or it doesn’t affect him the same way it might affect a young developing human.

However, this is all details compared to what I think is the most important thing in cases like these: framing.

In the case of Twilight, the framing emphasizes how Edward is mature and has been through high school and college multiple times, how he knows and understands more than Bella. His age is written as adding to his power, his allure. He doesn’t consider himself a teenager, and neither do his vampire peers. In every way but physical, he’s an ancient adult. It’s supposed to be intriguing that an older, intelligent and beautiful man would find a plain teenager attractive, and his age is used to reinforce his power and dominance.

If Edward perpetually had the mind of an actual 17-year-old instead of being “physically” 17 and mentally 109 or however old he is, I think Twilight would have the opposite problem of Bella eventually dating a teenager as she grows older unless she turns into a vampire. That’s sort of touched on in the books but it doesn’t go much further beyond “I will be a wrinkly old woman and you’ll be hot forever!” because, again, Edward already had Bella beat in the “life experience” department, and would still have that over her even as she grew older.

In the case of ACOTAR, it’s a similar thing. I don’t recall if it’s ever explained how the fae mature, but I do know that Rhys has been “waiting” for Feyre before she was even born? Like, the mating bond paired him up with a human infant at some point? And he has to wait for her to become an adult before they can boink? Same with Jacob and Renesmee. That’s just straight up magical grooming, fam. These men are adults for an extremely long time while they wait for their younger partner to catch up and become legal, often not even letting her live a life independently before they marry and have babies. These men become their partners’ lives.

In my case, Val’s age is framed against a backdrop of much older fae who patronize, belittle and insult him because he’s a young man poking his fingers into things that he’s too naïve to understand, according to them. This on its own doesn’t automatically solve the age difference, but he’s not framed as having power over Sidra, he’s not considered one of the oldest and most powerful fae, he’s not held up by the narrative as an older man who somehow, against his better judgment, is lusting over someone much younger than him because she’s just so mature and full of life and special. His age isn’t held up as a mark of experience and maturity and power. It’s just a thing that marks him as different from Sidra, on a magical worldbuilding level.

The younger party is also important. Are they inexperienced and naïve? Are they a young sheltered teenager, only now entering their first ever romantic/sexual relationship? Are they entering this relationship without any prior knowledge of who they are and what they want from life and a relationship with this person? Is this adult their first and only entry point to adult life in general? (Not saying you need to have multiple partners before you can find “The One” or anything, but having a frame of reference and knowing what you want out of life and the relationship is important IMO.)

Sidra doesn’t see Val as superior to her, she doesn’t think he’s above her and that she doesn’t “deserve him” or that he’s too good and cool for her, that she’s somehow not enough because she’s younger. She sees him as an equal, which makes any attempt at pulling the age/experience card pretty meaningless, because she doesn’t believe he knows what’s best in any given situation just because of his age. She doesn’t see him as an authority on most things and doesn’t consider herself below him in most things, either. She has already built a solid understanding of who she is and what she wants (or doesn’t want, at least). One of the first things that happens in the book is her rejecting a man because she realizes that she doesn’t want for herself what he wants for her.

And while yes, Val does eventually become a large part of her life and helps her figure out what she wants and needs and what she wants to become, she does the same thing for him. He isn’t a jaded old man taken with a pretty young thing who brings light back into his life or some other cishet-white-man nonsense, he’s young and stupid too and she helps him realize what he wants and who he wants to be. And they don’t do this on purpose to each other, it just happens through their interactions. Even if it were one-sided Val simply doesn’t have the maturity and experience to essentially “groom” Sidra into anything. Plus, they don’t get married and have children at the end (spoilers, I guess). They’re not bound to each other the same way many YA fantasy books often “bind” their young protags to their much older love interests (mating bonds, marriage, kids etc). Sidra still has the choice and ability to leave him whenever she likes and she’s fully aware of it.

That being said, my solution isn’t perfect and tbh I don’t think there is one? But this is fantasy, mortal-immortal pairings will always have weird dynamics because they’re not real and everyone makes up their own reference for how they should or shouldn’t work. Things like these will be subjective, and as long as the characters involved are adults, are making informed decisions and don’t have significant power imbalances because of their age difference, I think it can work! 

(The target demographic is also very important I think. Impressionable teens shouldn’t read things that make adult men attractive or desirable. My target demographic is a bit older than that and I hope most of my future readers will have enough sense and independent thinking to know not to imitate fiction. Plus, again, I’m not playing on or emphasizing the typical age gap power dynamic.)

Hope this answered your question!