#tbh i need to be in the sense of horror beyond imagining and I feel like Silent Hill 3 will help me understand that formula

[jokest3r]

Ok, here's the deal, I'll work on Desolation, the Ghoap/Ghostsoap fic that has 150 pages worth of a timeline written on my phone AFTER I play Silent Hill 3 and read the Ghost Comics, and then play the cod campaign, all in that order. Dealio?

[yandere2me2]

Hi there! First, I just wanted you to know that I really enjoy your writing. I don’t know most of the characters you write for, but I still am able to understand who they are as people from your works which is really cool!! Secondly, I was hoping I could hear your thoughts on the Obey Me characters? You can do as little or as many as you want, whatever you’re comfortable with. And finally, I just wanted to say I hope you have a good day!

Thanks anon! So far I’ve only written a few things, but if you wanna check out what characters I’ll write for, check out my newly posted rules post - for any fandom listed, I’m good writing any character so long as the other rules are followed (ex: any Obey Me character but Luke since he looks and acts like a child).

Since no limit was placed, I’ll just do some general headcanons for the first 4 brothers for now. Know that I’m willing to write about any other characters in Obey Me aside from Luke for future requests :)

So without further ado, some yandere Obey Me bros (under the cut because this got LONG)!

TW: implied/mentioned forced captivity, manipulation, unhealthy relationship standards, non-con/dub-con, degradation, voyeurism  

Lucifer

Sadistic - but that’s a given with the game information. To be more specific, he sets strict rules for his darling and is very much a control freak; he has so many things going on in his life that he has to manage out of necessity, but his darling is a special case he’ll gladly take on 

If his darling breaks a rule, he enjoys doling out punishments. What type of punishment depends on his mood, the type of incident his darling caused, and if their actions affected Diavolo. God help them if if they insult Diavolo

Possessive with a capital P. His darling is his. No one gets to see them fall to pieces under his hands but him. No one gets to bring them to the peak of pleasure but him. They will fear him the most above all others if that’s the way his darling must cope with his methods. Lucifer would prefer an amicable relationship, but he understands he’ll be met with resistance with the standards he has

Praise will come rarely, so any darling that craves it will have to earn it by being on their best behavior. If his darling does manage to get him to praise them, he’s in a very good mood and will be more open to requests (he won’t let them go, but some new books, hobby materials, or food options are fair game)

He’s a yandere that will lock his darling away for their safety as well as his own comfort and ease. Dangers are everywhere in Devildom, and he knows his darling will manage to find trouble if left to their own devices or with his brothers. He’s not going to risk it. Besides, he’ll have a better hold on his darling if he’s the only one they interact with daily

Going off the last point, Lucifer would also hide his darling away to avoid Diavolo’s attention. By my read on their relationship, Lucifer holds little power to oppose Diavolo thanks to their pact, and Diavolo wanting in on Lucy’s darling would frustrate him beyond words - can’t he have just one thing for himself? I’ll be writing more on a Diavolo/Lucifer/Darling situation after requests are filled, but BOY do I wanna write about this now

Mammon

He’s needy. Mammon craves affection from his darling in any amount they’re willing to give. He’ll be the first to deny it if his darling or someone else points it out, but everyone knows

He Does Not Like To Share His Darling! At all!!! He will pout and whine and get even more clingy if he thinks his darling so much as looks at someone else with interest (imagined or not) - especially his brothers

His punishments are usually to reassure himself that he’s in charge, that his darling did him wrong and they should be grateful he’s their protector, that he even bothered to notice them in the first place. Any other demon would have left them to fend for themselves; he is the best demon a puny human like his darling could ask for

That said, when he isn’t worked up he’s very much a sub in his relationship with his darling and aims to please them. Praise doesn’t come too often for him, and he loves when he can get any positive affirmation. He’ll get testy if his darling outright insults him

He wouldn’t think about locking his darling away until much later. After his darling grows accustomed to living in Devildom, after Mammon starts realizing and (unwillingly) accepting his feelings, he notices how close his darling is with his brothers and the others, how easily they could be stolen away from him… he doesn’t like it one bit

Mammon wouldn’t think much about his plan before he sets things in motion by making a deal with some witches to set up a private space for him and his darling that no one can reach without his say-so. This of course incurs a ton of debt that he’s confident he’ll pay off in a jiffy (he won’t) and he only leaves when he needs to handle paying off his debts or deal with some Devildom official business - he’s the second most powerful demon brother under Lucifer, so as obnoxious as Mammon could be about how “important” he is, he’s not entirely wrong

If he’s in a good mood, he’ll spoil his darling as best he can with any material good he can think they’ll like. Just name it and it’s theirs. Unless of course they upset him, then he’s just as quick to take any privileges he gives away and remind them who’s in charge. It makes him hurt to have to punish his darling, so he tries to avoid it unless he thinks they need a reminder of who has to make the rules around here

Leviathan

Levi doesn’t have much experience with darlings compared to his brothers - throughout the thousands of years he’s lived alongside his brothers, he prefers to shut himself away most of the time. He’s had the least amount of darlings in his lifetime, and when they pass on he secludes himself to fantasize about his perfect darling (who’s usually based on a combination of anime characters and past darlings he’s had)

He’s so insecure, constantly worrying how he isn’t good enough that he bullies his darling into having them convince him that he’s who they want. His darling better be convincing though; if he senses pity or fear or anything else that takes away from their sincerity, he won’t be kind when he’s punishing them

He’s almost as overbearing as Mammon - that’s a feat in itself. Levi won’t isolate his darling though; he’ll manipulate and guilt his darling into wanting to stay with him to avoid his ire. They’ll manage to step on his toes in one way or another, finding some unspoken overstep as an excuse to point out their flaws

Honestly the “transport yourself into a video game” trope opens up so many fun options for Levi to play with his darling. He has games (similar to the one we witness in canon) where he and his darling can spend virtual weeks together without anyone to disturb them. He has games he knows his darling hates - horror games that are gruesome for demons, let alone a human, where his darling can’t escape and can die as many times as it takes for Levi to be pleased before he transports them back out. He has naughty games for when he wants to import his darling to watch them endure whatever scenarios fit his fancy - anything from tentacle porn to gangbangs. By the end of it, his darling will be so grateful to be back in the real world they’ll be begging to stay with him, just as long as they don’t have to go back in a game. Levi uses the affection to his advantage

He forces role play on his darling - Levi as the Lord of Shadows and his darling as his precious Henry. His darling better learn their lines and how Levi likes them to respond if they want to stay on Levi’s good side

His darling’s wardrobe consists of mostly Ruri-chan and Henry cosplay Levi purchases for them. No you can’t change my mind

Of course, if his darling isn’t in a game or reading some top manga series, Levi’s talking about it to them or having them watch/read along with him. He just wants to share what he enjoys with the person he treasures, even if they’re just a simple normie human

Satan

Earlyon, his darling is warned by the other brothers that his smile is fake, that he’scynical and shouldn’t be trusted. But out of all the brothers, he comes acrossas one of the least intimidating, so it’s easy to gravitate towards him

Tbhhe’s likely not interested in his darling at first – humans are lessercreatures to demons, food for most and potentially nuisances when one makes apact with a powerful demon. Until he finds something noteworthy, like how quicklyMammon forms a pact with this human, he doesn’t see much potential

He’s pretty reasonable up until he’s angry; for a darling surrounded by dangers and demons,he appears to be the least likely to harm them, and they accidentally push one of hisbuttons at some point. Once his limit is reached, he is terrifying – wrath isin his name and he lets his darling know when he’s displeased

After the first time he loses his temper, he’ll givehis darling clear warnings before he punishes them. He uses his darling’s fearof his punishments to his advantage, encouraging “good” behavior with thethreat of “or else” in the background

He has some notable similarities with the eldest brother: a sadistic streak a mile long and a preference to dominate/need for control to ensure his darling is undoubtedly his. How Satan shows these traits is different in key ways, however

Satan is sadistic more often when he’s feeling neglected, miffed, or bored with his darling. He’s not as strict as Lucifer, actually allowing his darling the freedom to act on their own accord in most cases. It gives his darling the chance to show him how much devotion they are willing to give him without him commanding it. If he gives an order, however, he expects his darling to obey

Unlike Lucifer, Satan doesn’t have the risk of things going Bad if something doesn’t go his way; Lucifer needs to please Diavolo or risk failing on his end of the pact, and so control is key for him. Satan likes control, but to the extent of knowing he has the final say. Satan doesn’t want to control every aspect of his darling - at the end of the day he wants his darling to voluntarily choose him, even if only out of fear of his displeasure - but he will have them

Satan has his own possessive habits - he needs affirmations that his darling is his. Either he’s marking them in some primal way or he has his darling reassure him through their actions

He stalks his darling. Have you seen how aware he is of his brothers’ activities in-game? It’s almost unnerving in some situations - and that’s just canon material. Satan watches his darling out of curiosity at first before it grows into an obsession for him. After a while he knows every little detail, every mannerism, every preference. All those outings he asked his darling to join him on before he actually clarifies he wants to date them? They’re all used as opportunities for Satan to review later

Advice to any darling of his: Do NOT compare him to Lucifer if you know what’s good for you. Just. Don’t. He won’t kill you, but you will wish he did by the time he’s through with you

I say this as several of my points are comparing his similarities/differences with Lucifer hahaaaaaaaa sorry Satan

[thelastofgala]

I started The Last of Us, Pt. 2 last night, and here are my first impressions, musings on parallelism, Naturalism, Ellie’s characterization, Joel’s characterization, the “presence” of Riley, gameplay, story development, and more:

***SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT***

Starting with Joel. I always imagined The Last of Us 2 would begin at the end of Joel’s journey, though I will say that I did not expect to pick up so close to the end of the first game. I thought they would start us somewhere COMPLETELY out of context. Like I was prepared for much deeper flashback. In this way, I really felt like I was playing a sequel, which is not a bad thing. I just had no idea how they were going to frame this. The compelling thing about starting with Joel is that it immediately sets up parallels between Joel and Sarah, the character we start with in The Last of Us. There’s no way this was not a pointed decision. Just like it was with Sarah, Joel is our point of reference in a new, strange world. His point of view in this new world is all that we know. We don’t know what the new special world contains, and we don’t know grown-up Ellie at all. Plus, old fans will have missed him. It is a comfort to be Joel, and like a daughter protected by her father, a false and short-lived comfort. We are also now thinking of Joel as, like Sarah, someone who is in danger, whose agency is compromised, who, for whatever reason, is weakened this time around, and who may not survive the story. 

I will say, too, that I really loved that after the 4-years-later cut, Joel is held off-screen. He and Tommy are out on a patrol. They are out there, in danger, and that sort of restraint is really effective. We are ALWAYS looking for Joel, just like we were in the run-up to the release, because he is the only person we truly know in this strange, new world. ND knows and takes advantage of this.

There are many parallels between Joel and Riley. Both Joel and Riley sneak up on Ellie during their first interaction. They’re even wearing similar colors. Both Joel and Riley lied to Ellie in the previous story, and both betrayed her as an act of self-preservation. In Left Behind, Ellie is somewhat chilly toward Riley in the beginning, even as her younger, more optimistic self, just as Ellie is chilly toward Joel in the beginning of The Last of Us 2. Still, you can tell through Ellie’s dialogue with Dina that she and Joel are knitted together—he defended her against the bigoted bartender, and she appreciates this even if she doesn’t outright say it. They share taste in movies and have plans to watch a movie together soon. I haven’t interacted with Joel in the current timeline, but I do know that in Left Behind, Riley has to earn back Ellie’s trust and take measures to reenter her good graces, and that this is a large part of their relationship arc. I also know that, by the time they reconcile, it proves to be too late. The world will not let them have what they want, and nothing is simple. All of these parallels worry me a lot, as Left Behind, while still driven by a strong undercurrent of love (it is a love story, interwoven with Ellie’s desperate search for medical supplies in a bid to save Joel’s life), is a much bleaker, sadder story than The Last of Us, and it has a tragic ending.

Joel's conversation with Tommy feels important. I was very glad to hear Tommy say that he would have made the same choice, in terms of saving Ellie or letting her die for the possibility of a cure. It shows that Tommy is more like Joel than perhaps we knew. Plus, Maria will have taught him something about love and commitment, as the notion of saving the one you love above all else should make more sense to him now that he has foregone the youthful idealism of the Fireflies in order to focus on the practical wisdom of family. As a parent, I understand Joel’s decision to save Ellie at the end of The Last of Us and know I would have done the same. I also understand why Joel lied, even though I think it was the wrong choice. Hearing him confide all of this in Tommy was cathartic. It was also very characteristic of Joel to respond that Ellie “didn’t say nothing otherwise” when Tommy asks if she believed him. In all of his denial, Joel chooses to believe what is conveniently in front of him, even if he knows it’s untrue. Also, I couldn’t tell, but was that a Firefly logo on that guitar he’s shining up? Maybe I hallucinated that. But if it is, I do wonder where he got it.

Ellie’s character is much more deadpan and ruminative in young adulthood. She seems tired, and a little lacking in self-esteem and sort of immediately defeated by what happened during the experience with Joel. When Joel sang, we could see her return to that place, just a glimmer, and her response—that it “didn’t suck”—shows how she still shields her heart with sarcasm, something Dina points out to her later on (“Did I ruin your punchline?”). Joel has been broken down by the events of The Last of Us and now bears his soul to her with his music, unabashed and dedicated to her, and Ellie is now the stoic one, unshakable, sealed inside a heavy, protective armor that seems impossible to pierce. I look forward to getting to know Ellie as a young adult and, ultimately, crying a lot. She is artistic and honest and still a little soft underneath. You can tell by her early interactions with Dina especially that she can still blush, and she can still come undone.

I love the snowball fight lol. I am always so frustrated when these big environment games, like Red Dead 2, Dragon Age, etc., don’t have any kids running around. Why don’t these stories pay attention to kids? Kids exist. They are an important part of almost any open world or quasi open world environment. I love the presence of kids in The Last of Us 2, because the loss of childhood innocence is an important theme for Ellie as a character. It’s also clear we’re trying to set up the edenic innocence of Jackson. It is childhood, in a way, and just like childhood, it will come to inevitable corruption. The scene, too, reminded me of Ellie and Riley on their teen dream adventure, romping through the Halloween store at the mall, trying on masks and talking to the magic eight ball.

I’m really pleased by all the parallels with Left Behind and Ellie’s portion of the journey in The Last of Us. Winter was her season, and that’s where we’re starting now. The horseback riding, the blizzard, and all the blood in the snow bring flashbacks of Ellie hunting on the woods, Ellie alone in the frozen mall, David, and the Lakeside Resort, all of which layer the current moment with a lot of emotional tension for the player.

The opening is, I think, sprawling. I’m having fun but there’s this sense that I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of the story. Like Joel in the first game, Ellie is also big-timing me a little and I feel far away from her. I know this will change soon, and I’ll warm up to her, but for now, like Joel, we’re all being held at arm’s length. I actually like the POV shifts we’ve gotten so far and the multiple POVs is something I predicted a while ago, based on ND’s tendencies in the first game. Ppl are going to give The Last of Us 2 shit for being too cinematic but tbh it sometimes feels more like a playable novel than a traditional video game. We’re on a cable car headed straight into disaster and there’s nothing we can do. In this way the game is using the medium itself to perpetuate its Naturalistic themes. We play and we play, and we fight and we fight, but the environment entertains no interest in our struggle and the outcome will always be the same. There is no free will in The Last of Us.

On that note, the gameplay so far is, I think, pretty fun. I have played a lot of stealth games and am always looking for ways the genre is reinventing itself. Like Sekiro and Tomb Raider, The Last of Us 2 is increasing the verticality of the map with rope climbing and scaling up obstacles (though I do miss using Joel’s immense upper body strength to move those dumpsters around lol). In a stealth game I want creativity and problem solving to be central to the gameplay. I don’t want to be magically handed tools and weapons on a constant basis, to meet every individual need. I want to be forced into resourcefulness, and I don’t want to enter a shoot-out unless I absolutely have to. That said, I’m nearly to the tower checkpoint with Dina, and I’ve only fired my gun twice. The dodge/melee mechanic is neat, but more than anything, having real, actionable help from an AI enables stealth kills even in zones crawling with enemies. On that note, I am playing with a headset, and I’m glad I am, because I find the sounds of the goddam clickers to be all-encompassing this time around and a LOT bigger and scarier than they were in The Last of Us. Holy shit. They’re absolutely terrifying. I can only imagine the horror to come lol.

Now, finally, Abby: I don’t have much to offer on this yet. Abby is not who I thought she’d be. I’ll just say it. Still, the melee battle with her and the runners in the woods was AWESOME. For me, the most fun I’ve had yet, because it was completely different than anything from The Last of Us. Playing her, however, I will say, filled me with foreboding. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to help her. She seems beyond desperate and while deeply sympathetic, she is a new character and her loyalties are not mine...so far. I could be very wrong, and please don’t correct me if I am, but I get the sense she might be a Firefly, or somehow associated with Marlene, and she is looking for Joel, in vengeance. Her group was small and rogue, and they seemed new to the area. All I know is that ND is creating a moral dilemma here, and as to what will become of this, the jury is still out completely.

One small personal criticism, take it or leave it: I don’t personally love that the kiss with Dina and scene with Joel defending Ellie was kept off-stage in the game and left to the trailer. We could have started at the dance. That would have taught us everything we need to know about Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Joel and Ellie’s relationship state. This is my only criticism of the story so far. From a writer’s perspective, it’s just inefficient and clumsy to try and cover all that in expositional dialogue, taking into consideration that many casual players will not have seen all the trailers. Even still, it’s not hurting my experience in any way. Just an observation and maybe a bit of personal opinion on the fact that perhaps the choice to reveal so much scene in pre-release trailers might be a great way to build hype but might not be the most efficient choice in telling the actual story. My two cents!

In the end, I’m overall super excited and can’t wait to keep playing. These are just my own personal thoughts, and I’ll be back with more thoughts soon!! PLEASE NO SPOILERS OR SPOILERY SUGGESTIONS IN THE REPLIES!! I am NOT privy to the leaks and I do NOT want to know what’s coming. Thank you!! ^_^ 

[kimmimaru]

Yet more remake randoms.

One thing I really did enjoy about the remake was that at least two (or maybe it was the same guy, can’t be sure) infantry/security soldiers recognised Cloud. That’s one thing in the OG I got confused over, HOW did no one recognise Cloud when he would’ve been known to at least a few people. He obviously went through training, he would’ve worked with some of them, surely? I’m glad we got those moments. Also Kunsel got mentioned! I assumed they were trashing most of Crisis Core, obviously not. Judging by the posters for Banora we can assume that it exists/existed. Hojo’s mention of project G suggests the existence of Genesis at least...I’m not sure how I feel about that since I was never a massive fan of Genesis. His part in Sephiroth’s descent into madness annoyed me, he’s a big boy and can go mad perfectly well on his own lol. Hints of a possible deepground is also interesting, I mean if they have a secret base under sector 7 then maybe deepground does exist too? There’s no solid evidence of it but logically it makes sense. Although DoC has it’s issues, obviously I didn’t mind the reveal of secret bases, ShinRa is a dodgy company I don’t see why they wouldn’t have underground places full of nasty monsters. Also, the main reason I cling to DoC is because of the Vincent content tbh, Vincent is one of the main three characters I used in the OG (Cid being the other) and he’s amazing.  I get people’s issues with the remake, I really do. It DOES lack the grittyness the OG had. It feels...more fantastical which is kind of annoying. If the characters didn’t swear so much I’d have thought it was a game aimed at younger audiences. As an adult playing it that grates on me. I love the characters, Cloud especially is better than I had hoped, I was worried they’d make him all soft and woobyish, I’m glad they kept his hard edges. And the fact that Cloud knows how security stuff works, like the emergency locks and how to access the computers etc is yet more hints that he’s not all he thinks he is. Pretty sure SOLDIER’s wouldn’t know half the stuff he does, they wouldn’t have any reason to. I was...disappointed to see that Sephiroth didn’t cause anywhere near as much chaos as he did in the OG. I don’t understand why they didn’t do that. That moment in the OG when you realise the doors to your cell have been opened and then you have to follow a trail of blood and you see scars on the wall from Masamune. It was...so powerful. And eerie. The dead bodies along the way and then the president lying across his desk was like; :O It was scary and intense. That scene in the remake was lame. No blood. No corpses. Just a trail of purple bubbly stuff. Yeah no I didn’t like that. Sephiroth shouldn’t give a fuck WHO he kills in his quest for power. He should have stormed through ShinRa with his sword swinging but all he did was stab the president only after Cloud got there. That scene should have been handled much better. I love the fight with Rufus though. That was actually fun, although i’m not one for dodging or blocking so I took a beating lol. And that trick with the coins just...suits him? Wasting money like it’s nothing to him. His possessiveness and all the quips he makes while fighting. Just perfect Rufus. Honestly, out of everyone (for me), they got Rufus, Reno and Cloud perfect. I do like Tseng too and Rude...i thought Rude would be somewhat more callous but it’s cute that he feeds birds from his hand. I love Reno’s anger. Don’t know why he’s so angry but it’s fun and his foul language. The fact that Rude actively saves Tifa was a bit of a surprise for me, I know in the OG Rude likes Tifa (she could break his neck if she wanted, as I’ve always thought Rude is into that, the kinky bastard) but was very shocked to see him actively interfere and save her. I need to replay it but I always thought in the OG when you fight Rude and have Tifa on your team he never actually attacks her...or maybe that was just my game? I don’t know if that was deliberate. So it is faithful to the OG if I didn’t just imagine that. Also, on the subject of Rude, did I imagine it or did he hit the button to drop the plate because Reno couldn’t do it? I know Cloud attacks Reno before he can do it but his hand hesitates. Again, may have imagined it but it looked like he hesitated so Rude did it for him. (that rockstar slide under Cloud’s sword WAS cool. Not something I would have expected of Rude but I LOVED that). Also not sure why they didn’t have Tseng slap Aerith. He does it in the OG. Maybe they were worried about the reception of a move like that? Violence against women etc. I personally didn’t mind it, it was a shocking moment and the Turks ARE supposed to be bad guys. I did notice he does raise his hand to her, looking like he’s about to back hand her but the security guard seems to pull her away before he can. In the OG I believe that Tseng’s supposed to be putting on a front? Like, it’s hinted that he didn’t do it for any other reason than the fact that he thinks Aerith SHOULD be afraid of the Turks and maybe to stop himself from getting too close to her? Either way, they could’ve and probably should’ve left that bit in. It also doesn’t give me hope for later  on when they do the temple of the ancients bit and Cloud loses his mind and beats the crap out of Aerith. Somehow I don’t think they’ll put that in anymore, which is a damn shame.  Honestly, I like all the tiny gestures and body language they put in. It really goes a long way to make the characters much more human. All the little smiles, the hand gestures and everything. Like having Reno restless, unable to keep still. Short, sharp, angry gestures. Constant cursing. Rude’s calmer motions, the little moments of fear they both have when one of them is injured or possibly dead (when Rude’s helicopter crashes and Reno picks up his glasses). It shows how close they are and yeah they are bad guys but I have always been against making a bad guy ‘pure evil’ and inhuman (only exception is Sephiroth in this case because he IS part alien monster). Even the Turks are human, they should feel fear, they should care about something and have motivations beyond the simple; we are bad so we will try to defeat the good guys. I don’t want pure good guys either, I want them to have flaws and failings which is why I loved the OG so much. They were all just...human. And obviously we didn’t get QUITE as much Turk actions as I would have preferred but now that we are getting it I’m pretty happy with what we have. Edit to add; my issue with the remake’s version of the plate drop is it lacked that sense of helplessness. And a lot more people seemed to have survived. Maybe if they’d added a mission to go through and help look for more survivors, have people trapped, people you can’t save etc. I wanted to feel that despair when I played it, the same feeling I got when I played Zack’s final battle in CC. You know he doesn’t survive, you fight over and over again and that feeling of knowing that no matter what you do he’s going to die anyway. I loved that. It’s so real. It shows that even a hero can’t save everyone and it’s a hard fact of life. It definitely lacked the sheer horror and evil of the act. I mean I did cry when I played it...but the end ruined it for me. Having it turn out that people are alive who should have died, kind of destroys the whole emotional aspect. There’s no real consequences to anything in the remake. And, judging by all the hints at changing fate and stuff, there won’t be in the coming parts either. Makes me really quite angry. Everyone lives and nobody dies, totally unrealistic and pointless for a game like final fantasy 7. I am silently begging square to reconsider their direction if what they’re hinting at is true and they’re going to keep Aerith alive. Please, please don’t do that. It will totally ruin the game and it’ll lose all meaning. I love Aerith but her death is a poignant, emotional tragedy and Cloud’s (or the players) helplessness is a key factor in that. If this ends with ‘and everything was fine and everyone was happy’ I’m going to puke.  Anyways, will stop here. This got LONG.

[yeoldontknow]

Bloodletting: 3 (M)

Author’s Note: the link to the story masterlist will not be included in this post. i have been informed that any posts with links that lead to literally anything have been suppressed on my blog (and everyone else tbh) and will not be searchable. if you want to read the previous parts it is on my full masterlist. Pairing: Taehyung x Reader (oc; female) Genre: Vampire!AU; horror; thriller; smut Rating (this chapter): NC-17 Warnings (this chapter): dark, predatory themes; graphic violence; explicit language; male dominating themes; dom!taehyung; sub!reader; slight daddy kink; biting; bloodplay; explicit sex; orgasm denial; unprotected sex; creampie (please take these warnings seriously as many themes in this chapter can be triggering) | the language and themes in this story may be triggering so do not read this chapter, or this story, if you are under the age of 18. you have been expressly warned!!! i do not condone any of the actions in this chapter or any of the others. this is a horror story that focuses on the actual horror of vampires and the horror of their lore. again, you have been warned. do not read if any of these topics trigger you.  Word Count: 5,930

Now, I am many things but at the core of me, buried underneath the years of dust and distance, are the threads of man capable of wanting. One dare not call it loving, for such a word became meaningless to me the day I lost my soul; but as a verb, as an action, in this I was exceptional. Having learned the intricate nuances of the human form, I had become adept at tempting, skilled at pleasing, and, at once, I found I wanted to take pleasure in you. In seeking the lush delights of your body, I succumbed so completely to my urges after one single breath of your moist flesh.

With a smile pulling at the elegant curve of your lips, you had taken my instruction with glee and moved up the stairs with a tantalizing sway in your hips to undress. Behind my eyes I saw it all - the loosened straps of your bra slipping from your shoulders as you removed it from your breasts; the slow and aware way you slid your underwear down your thighs, climbing into a hot bath to ease your with sigh. Your hands painted agony behind my eyes, my heightened hearing and the delicate exposure of skin turn my tongue into a wet and heavy thing, trapped within my mouth. Even floors below, I could taste you in the air.

Floors below, I let myself consume you. Or, perhaps, it was you who consumed me.

I’d retreated to my study, seated in a leather chair with the unfamiliar tension in my spine when I let myself become overwhelmed, eyes closed and lips damp. It had taken centuries to get used to my new senses, my gifts - to accept them as my normal gift of existence; to walk at speed with my companions, to block the sounds of their hitched breathing, their beating hearts, the flow of their blood, the synapses of their brains firing too quickly for them to notice. I’d become so adept at blocking these things from my awareness that the sudden onslaught of you made my control unravel and my usually flaccid cock twitch with pleasure.

That the majority of taste is comprised of smell meant my mouth began to salivate. It’s such a shame the mortal nose can’t discern the tantalizing nuances of flesh and bone, to breathe in the life they live and feel it vibrate on their tongue. And as I shut my eyes to savor these flavors, I suddenly became victim of my own desire.

Dragging my tongue across the length of my lips, I leaned back in the chaise and scratched my nails along my thigh, the noise of it mingling with a sigh born from the center of your chest. Releasing a hiss of breath into the air, I adjusted my hips to ease the tightness within my trousers and began to feel as though I had become submerged in the bath with you. With minimal focus, I could hear your breathing, the small sighs of pleasure escaping your lips - whimpers on the wind I could almost kiss - and the calm, almost soothing rhythm of your heart. My brain filled the images in around the senses, painted you, coloured you; and I imagined your hair growing wet, your lips growing red, the water pooling and lapping against the lines of your naked ribcage. Without my consent, my hips started writhe slowly in the base of the chaise and I ran one hand through the stands of my hair, wanting.

You were such a fragile thing, held together only by thin lines of cartilage and malleable sinew. I could so clearly picture the perfect shade of crimson your blood would stain the porcelain and the water, the redness of you a sin I ached to suck. Oh, it would swirl and swirl, and colour you something magnificent, a masterpiece for me to lick clean. I thought of drowning you, holding you underwater and keeping you moist until your eyes turned to glass, until I could put my lips to your throat and drink. I thought of pulling you from limb to limb and swallowing you through a straw, clean and simple and almost comical in its delight.

Neither of these things were satisfactory. No, you lived with such transcendent naivety you deserved to worshipped beautifully before death, and to die amidst poetry and tragedy. But even then, even as I toyed with the knowledge that I would have you, all I could settle on was the thought of fucking you raw as I kissed the breath straight from your lungs.

The sounds of your fingertips streaking along the wet rim of the tub reached my ears, and I bit back a moan at the thought of being the cause of such a sound; that it was my body fucking your bones to ash, thrusts executed so perfectly into your center that your fingers would slip for purchase, holding onto the the tangible meat of your surroundings as you quaked and quaked and quaked. Gripping the fabric of my trousers in my right hand, I let my rampant imagination feast on the reality of your impending collapse, my throat becoming tight with excitement.

I might never know how long I remained in such an uncharacteristically vulnerable state, open wide and waiting to drip with you, but soon I found myself propelled from the chair, forced into action by the all consuming need to satiate my libido, and was at your door within seconds. Pressed against the wood, cold handle held tightly in my hand, I could hear you coming to rise from the tub. I was assailed by the noise of such a simple action, stunned by how starved I had truly been for the simple pleasure of tarnishing human chastity.

Working at the handle I found you hadn’t locked the door, and it thrilled me to wonder if it was due to either a misplaced sense of trust in me or the subtle yearning at your core for me to find you, expose you, devour you. It only convinced me further that some people were merely born to be tasted whether they realized it or not.

My sudden entrance had startled you, made you pause in the center of the room wrapped in a white towel. Water slowly made its way around the supple curve of your breasts, gliding down your skin like sweat, blood, or come. I wanted to drag my tongue in a long line up to the apex of your thigh and swallow it down.; to kiss your core and feel you become drenched by me. If I was capable of such a feeling, I would have fallen in love with the way you stood still as I approached you, eyes wide and unassuming. You were quaking with it, the desire to be touched. Even from a distance, I could sense the way your blood cells were swelling in anticipation of a tidal wave of lust.

From the very depths of my soul, I felt the familiar, primal sense of hunger and control about to brim over and shatter my nerves. Like fire, it was spreading from my chest and down into my thighs, across the muscles of my shoulders, and into my neck, turning me into the base creature I was only too proud to be. I reveled in the way your eyes shut, lashes splaying across your cheeks, as I brought a hand to your neck. The subtle tilt of your head was so perfectly timed I wanted to throw you down and rip you open as a love note to the action.

We both released a small exhale of breath, a contained sound that trespassed beyond our lips as my hand made contact with your damp skin. Touching your neck felt like I was reaching down through you and stroking your soul, holding the frailty of it, the strength of it, in the embrace of my palm. Even then, I could feel your pulse beating against my hand like a wire, ready to be pulled. In that moment, you were so vital, so fully alive and present I almost thought the flow of your blood was poetry.

Bringing my face close to yours, I hummed softly as we began sharing breaths, sharing the intimacy that comes with breathing in unison. My momentary hesitation in placing my mouth over yours was neither to tease nor to reconsider, but to watch the way you sauntered into kissing. Expectant, you preened, raised yourself and your pride to meet me, as if demanding a crown. You wanted it, desperately - me and the crown, the pride that comes from being desired. I could smell the sweet scent of arousal almost dripping from your wet core, the aroma lingering in the air to tempt me.

I held you on the precipice of need, barely letting the edges of our lips touch for as long as I could possibly stand, for I too was aching with you. Slowly, I brought the the tip of my tongue to the center of your bottom lip and traced the plump skin before your too brought your tongue out into the open. You moaned at the contact and I offered you a shallow laugh before plunging into the wet cavern of your mouth.

If I were any other man, indeed if I were a man at all, I would have been utterly enamored with the way you delivered yourself to pleasure. You only let yourself wither beneath the weight of the kiss for a moment before you wrapped your arms around my neck like a vice, pride at being kissed so fully winning over the nerves in your body. The nails in my fingers were starting to sharpen, turning themselves into talons and aching to hitch under one soft flap of skin and tear and tear and tear until you there was no end to wear our bodies joined.

My hand slid slowly up your neck to your cheek, the other pressing deeply into the full plumpness of your ass as I massaged your tongue with mine. You were trembling in my grip, fingertips pressing into the muscles of my neck and my back in the hopes of finding some element of control over this sudden and overwhelming bodily response. Smiling minutely, I squeezed the round flesh of your ass through the towel to exert the power I had over your body, and you tipped your head back, slack jawed and awash in bliss as you moaned.

With the slender line of your neck bared, I could barely help myself, confronted by the vitality of you. You were offering me dessert before I’d even had my fill of the feast, showing me what was waiting if I handled you carefully, wisely, and with the full roughness of my fingers. I moved my lips down your jaw, onto the stretched tendon and placed my tongue flat against the skin. Your fingers twined in the hair at the base of my neck as you pressed my face deeper, your body harder against mine.

‘Oh, Daddy,’ you moaned, voice tight and compressed beneath the pressure of or ravenous appetite.

Part of me wished I could have focused on the thick weight of your voice, the wilting cadence heavy with sex and arousal, rather than your audacious disobedience. But you had spoken the words with the intention of my response, the expectation of punishment lingering in the atmosphere, and I felt rage erupt from within me like a wrathful volcano. In an instant, I had lifted you from the floor, the towel unraveling from your waist and dropping heavily against the tile, and wrapped your legs around my waist as I walked you back and pressed you against the wall.

The force and strength of my body against yours forced a moan from the cages of your lungs, your eyes suddenly glazed with wanting, but your laughed through your breathlessness and smiled with half lidded eyes. Cocking an eyebrow, I ran my nose along your cheek and took your hand in mine to drag it up the wall.

‘Laughter? Did you like that? Do you like begging for mercy?’ I whispered against your skin, drowning in the way your pheromones made my mouth water.

You tightened your legs around mine in response, grinding your hips in the process.

‘Fucking loved it,’ came your reply, leaning your head down to let your tongue lap over my lips. ‘You know I’d only beg for you. No one else deserves it.’

Perhaps it was then that you transfixed me, bewildered me with a delight I had forgotten over the year. It was rare I would be fought for dominance, rare that I would be fought at all, and it was this surprise that made me crave you more. Using your desire and your ability to praise, a gift I think only you had been endowed with, you challenged me. There was an edge to your voice that told me you wanted this, and you wanted it to hurt. You, vying for the upper hand and foolishly thinking you could win - I wanted you. Mostly, I wanted to battle you, too.

I pulled you away from the wall, hands still bound together, and swiftly walked out bodies over to the bed, where I let you fall against the sheets. You surrounded to the drop, with grace and a beauty I would have called ethereal in another life. With your arms and legs spread, your back arched off the mattress, ready for my touch against your thighs, your ribs, your breasts.

With wide eyes, you watched as I undid my clothes, limbs splayed across the silk, cream of the bed in acceptance of my bodily gift. As my shirt slid off my shoulders, you leaned up on your elbows, as transfixed by the unearthly white of my abdomen. At your sides, twisting within the sheets, your fingers began to demand contact. I stepped back just an inch, distancing myself from your reach and felt myself ascend in the musical whine that erupted from your throat. I quickly undid my trousers and tugged them down with my briefs in one swift motion, relief stinging the nerves of my thighs as my cock was finally freed.

Fully naked, I lowered myself to your embrace, wrapping an arm around your wise to slide our bodies back and up towards the headboard. You began nipping at my chin, sucking at skin, grabbing whatever piece of me you could. I merely hovered above you, smelling the arresting perfume of your arousal mixed with the bath soap, a heady concoction that made your skin feel like dew. The wet folds of your cunt rubbed desperately against my my hardened cockin your efforts for closeness, and I marveled at the way urgency bloomed across your features. With the moonlight illuminating the bliss on your face, you thrived, haunting the room and demanding the walls breathe with you.

To me, it seemed you were born to sin, born to bathe in lust, and born to burn with desire from within.

Reaching around to grasp both your hands, I pulled them away from my arms and placed them next to your head. Spreading your legs wide, you welcomed me, opened yourself to me. Slowly, I slid down your body, my nose inhaling deep as I passed your nipples, your ribs, your waist. The apex of your thighs, the sweet tender folds of your center, was an oasis, blood pumping so ferociously beneath the skin it took every inch of my self-control not to claw the flesh away and drink. No, I continued on, just beyond the warm cunt that was aching for attention and pressed my face to your inner thigh.

This was my real treat, the large artery in the inside of the thigh, the second largest in the human body. I kissed the area gently like a prize before taking fingers into my mouth and wetting them with my tongue. You had brought yourself to lean up once more, the warmth of my breath against your skin slowly bringing you to madness. Your lips were glistening, sweat and bath water copulating along your hairline to paint you the picture of a heretic. I smirked at you, knowing you would catch my intention the moment you saw my fingers slide from my mouth, dripping with possibility.

‘Do it,’ you challenged, voice tight with a hunger that surprised even you. ‘Do it rough. That’s how I like it.’

Pieces of my dark heart came alive in the aftermath of your words, pieces only too happy to fulfill your wishes and make your voice plead - for more or for less, I couldn’t decide. The options were endless.

With my left hand clutching the sharp bone of your hip, I brought my soaked fingers into your core and stroked, and stroked, and driving them home, curling just so to make you howl. The tightness of you, the way you welcomed me so fully with the slickness of your walls possessed me. Spreading you with two fingers made you collapse back against the bed, before I pressed them inside once more. Almost immediately, you were grinding down against my hand, walls clenching around my knuckles to keep me inside.

For such a vocal woman, your moans were small, aware of how loud you really could be and trying to keep yourself together. The tension in your sighs, your moans, urged me on as I pushed deeper, wondering how quickly I could make you scream. It was only as I pressed my thumb to your clit that you started to unravel within my hand, whimpers echoing off the vaulted ceiling and making my own toes curl with purpose.

Caught between biting your lip and begging for more, you gasped as I moved my thumb in slow circles. ‘Yeah, just like that,’ came your encouraging cry, one hand clutching an embroidered pillow as the other slid down to card through the thickness of my hair.

There was an urgency to the way you tried to guide my face into the sweetness of your cunt, grip tightening its hold as you tried to thrust upwards for the full completeness of my touch. You were aching to be filled, spread, fucked. But then, you had transformed pleasure into such a game, reminded me how it truly felt to be thrilled, and so I took my time unmaking you.

Moving my head slightly out of the grip of your hand, I pressed down on your clit and hummed. ‘I’ll taste you when I’m ready.’

Dissatisfied, your hands left the bed and fell into my hair, guiding me back to where you wanted me most with a demanding furrow at your brow. ‘I need something bigger than fingers. Put your tongue inside me.’

The hunger with which you asked for such a thing briefly made me consider you my equal, an astounding thought that moved within my mind for seconds before dissipating beneath the understanding of my control over you. Even on your back your were challenging me, matching my hunger and need with a fire in your veins that made you thrive. Perhaps that is why I appeased you so quickly, breathing deeply as I sucked in the smell of your wet core.

Running my nose along the silk of your thigh, I brought my lips just centimeters from your folds to kiss them between my fingers, letting the gentleness from my mouth tease your back off the bed in a wide arch.

‘Jesus Christ,’ you whispered, eyes fluttering closed as your head pressed back into the pillows.

It was such a cruel thing to do, but with your body spread before me so open and willing for whatever whim may suit me, I couldn’t help but gently run the tip of my tongue in a small circle against your clit. The sound that came from your chest was the most glorious, keening whine I had ever heard and so I did it again just to spite you, my fingers never once stalling in their rhythm.

My tongue on your clit made you vocal, turned you into something ravenous, but it was when I pushed my tongue inside you that you truly came alive. Your hands held me in place as I licked at you, drinking this false nectar down just to add sugar to your blood. Thrusting inside you, your voice began to shatter, the sound needy and urgent as you ground against my face seeking your orgasm. Pushing my tongue deep, I slowed my fingers and my pace, pulling out slightly before I brought my mouth to your clit. And it was then I sucked at the small bundle of nerves as I drove my fingers back inside once more.

And it was when you screamed that I think I heard music for the first time.

‘Fuck, me,’ you begged, hands pulling at my hair to ease me away. ‘I’m gonna come like this if you don’t stop. I want to come around your cock.’

Gently I pulled away, licking my lips as I took in the sight of you. It felt good to hear your voice start to crumble, always so confident and demanding in your desires. Not once were you shy, speaking your needs with a will of iron, even if your will demanded that you be felt and shattered from the inside. Your hair splayed beneath you against the sheets and mattress, transforming you into a painting, a visual and sensory delight, aromas of pleasure soaking into the silk, my pores, my lungs. In that moment, I wished you could have seen you, features marred with the affect of yearning. You would have swooned for you as I did, except, in my own longing, I wanted to see just how far I could push your will.

‘Not yet,’ I repeated, keeping my tone as gentle as possible. There was something luxurious about how my voice made you bend, moving your limbs as though held by water. You swam in it, swam in me, ready to capsize.

Adding a third finger to keep you stretched and ready to take me, I returned my attention to your femoral artery and, knowing you liked to play rough, wondered just how far I could push you.

‘Darling,’ I said, the edge to my voice almost metallic. ‘Can I bite you?’

‘What?’ you gasped out as I curled my fingers to watch your back arch off the bed.

‘Can I bite you,’ I repeated again, this time without the inflection of a question. I was eying the way the muscle in your leg was quivering, driven to tension from pleasure. Legs spread wide to accommodate my body, my hands, my mouth, the urge to sink my teeth into the flesh beside your artery was breathtaking. ‘I promise it won’t hurt, not for too long.’

You contemplated my words as best you could in the throes of ecstasy, choking on his answer as you struggled to catch your breath.

‘Su-sure, just fuck me soon. I need you inside me. I’m gonna come - I can’t take it.’

The words of your consent had barely made it past your lips before I brought my teeth to your thigh and bit down, piercing the skin in one swift motion. Beneath me, your body jerked with a tepid sort of violent surprise and you screamed in a hollow sort of timbre that melted from pain into a giggle of pleasure as I sucked the wound I had just created. To bite such a delicate artery, one has to be careful - one single, misplaced tooth could cause a human to bleed out within seconds. This was not the eve of your death, and therefore I placed my mark just outside of the artery, nicking it rather than eviscerating it completely.

Blood seeped into my mouth, overflowing and dripping down your leg in a thin line to stain the sheets. And you loved every moment of it. The elegant line of your hand hand flew to my hair, fingers tangling in the strands to press my teeth deeper, and you shifted your hips to meet my mouth in a helpless grind.

You tasted sweet, like a massacre. There were memories in your blood, memories I could taste and feel deep within my veins. The iron and metal of you were intoxicating, and soon I became drunk, asphyxiating on the essence of you. I could feel my eyes become blown out with black thirst, and suddenly you was every candied kill I’d ever had.

You were a fourteenth century nun, dying on a raised altar.

You were a Victorian dandy, begging me to drink and drink and drink until he lived inside me.

You were a street walker, homeless, looking for a body to share, with blood like sugar.

Before I could let myself drown in the deluge of your blood, I pulled my mouth away and heard you whine at the loss. My lips and chin were drenched in your essence, a crimson stain I hoped would melt into the ash of my bones, and I grinned a cannibalistic grin that only made you moan with voracity. Placing my hand on your thigh, I pulled my fingers out of your core, and slid up your body to grab your neck and force you to look at me.  

‘Taste yourself.’

You, bleeding beneath me and torn between moaning at the loss of my fingers or in confusion, were so alive in my hands I was taken aback by the speed at which you placed your mouth over my fingers to suck your own juices from my skin. But this, still was not enough to satisfy me. It was not the sweetness of your cunt I wanted to swallow down, but your essence, the heady iron of your DNA.

Pulling my fingers from your mouth, I dragged my thumb over your lip, guiding it down gently to watch how the simple motion made you quiver, shivering at the touch. The subtlety of the action made you grind against me, whining with disappointment, as you tried to lean up for more.

‘Not my hand,’ I smiled, shaking my head at your petulance. ‘Taste your fullness in my mouth.’

I’d asked such a thing before, of men and women alike, and every time I had been met with resistance before the slow acquiescence washed over their souls. It seemed as though they knew I’d never be satisfied, that they would not be truly satisfied until until they kissed themselves from my mouth as though paying a debt. But you came to my mouth with an eagerness that felt devout, as though you sought sanctity on my tongue. It had been a long time before something quite as holy had eclipsed my existence, but even then it did not paint you as a goddess. There was a baseness of pride to this sin, the knowledge that as badly as you wanted me, you wanted yourself just as much.

Once more you demanded a crown. But this time, you found it within you.

I rewarded you by moving my hand from your hip to my cock, grasping it firmly with slick fingers that had become coated in red and moving the tip lightly against your folds. In response, you ground up into me, desperately trying to push me deeper into your core, jaw dropping open slightly in pleasure.Your half lidded eyes tempted me, made me want to kiss sin into your mouth and watch it ignite over your skin. The wetness from your center slid delicately over the head of my cock, hot and warm and oh, how I craved to bury myself inside you.

Pushing myself deeper, I watched you bloom. In one brief moment, a length of time barely perceptible to the human mind, your eyes widened, glazed over with a lust that only seemed to amplify the flush at your chest and cheeks. The arch of your back pushed your breasts up against my skin and I watched your tongue lap at your lips. One single moment, a moment in which you were trapped in a liminal space between primal, uncontrolled need and the refined beauty of humanity.

One single moment, and I grieved for all the ways I would never be this way again.

‘There’s-there’s a condom in the - in the -‘

You could barely get the sentence out, your breath catching in your lungs with every attempt to speak.

‘There’s a condom in the top drawer,’ you finally managed through grit teeth.

Even against the swollen head of my cock I could feel your walls clenching, doing your best to lure me inside.

‘Someone was eager,’ I whispered with a dark laugh, lips pressed against your ear as I leaned down to kiss the warm tendon of your neck. ‘I want you raw.’

So used to your combativeness, I had planned to say protection would be useless, that you would not fall pregnant; that fucking me meant a different kind of harm and once that did not involve conception. Instead, you gripped my arms as you sunk your teeth into my shoulder, not nearly sharp enough to make me bleed but the valiancy, the aggression, the terror of you, made me strain to stop myself from burying my cock inside you.

‘Fuck me,’ you spat, moving your teeth to my neck. Biting down, I felt my body shudder briefly, the violent delight of this affection beginning to eat at me. ‘Fuck me, Daddy, I’m going to come right here, right now unless you fuck me how I want you to.’

Taking hold of your hips, I pressed my forehead to yours, gazing deep and down into the depth of your soul as I thrust myself inside you, hard enough to quake the bedframe against the wall. I did not care if you saw the truth of me, of the blackness of my irises and the way the night amplified the terror of me. I wanted you to feel me, wanted you to feel me deep enough to hurt, wanted to come inside you hard enough that you would miss me when I was not there.

‘Je vais te niquer comment je veux te niquer’ I ground out and, during your pause to try and understand what I had said or to try and see if my eyes really were as black as they appeared, I pulled out fully and drove myself back in to the hilt.

The sound of your scream as I buried myself inside you made me throw my head back to bathe in the sound. My fingers pressed into the warm flesh of your hips hard enough to bruise. The rhythm I found was borderline belligerent, but you met me thrust for thrust, lifting your hips to take me, and hold me inside you.

'Fuck,' you gasped, moving your hands from my arms to my shoulders. 'Fuck me just like that.'

Scratching your nails down my back, you gave yourself over to pleasure with a fullness that felt monstrous. The ugliness of this sex transcended what I had come to know of you, of humanity, of what monsters and myths could achieve. Teeth sinking into my collarbone as your walls tightened with every thrust, legs wrapped around my waist as your hands came to grip the cheeks of my ass, I almost rejoiced at the sensation of your still leaking blood soaking into my hip and dripping down into the space between our bodies.

You felt like velvet, muscles in your cunt and thighs winging around me as though I were the thing made for killing, as though this were the poetry of my release.

Moving a hand from your hip, I slid my fingers gently up your body to cup your breast, bending down slightly to squeeze your nipple between my teeth. Easing my pressure, sucked and sucked and the nub, licking with the roughness of my tongue until you whined, signaling the pain had started to sting. And only then did I finally move to the other, luxuriating in the paradox of the violence of our coupling, and the satin expanse of your skin.

‘I won’t last,’ you whimpered. ‘I’m going to come, Jesus Christ, Daddy.’

‘Je suis pas ton papa,’ I growled.

I was too far gone to be embarrassed that my control over the English language had slipped and I had reverted to my native tongue. You paid no mind, as every inflection of my accent only made you suck harder on whatever piece of flesh you could find, aroused only by the sound of it.

‘I’m gon-gonna come,’ you gasped out.

‘Non.’

This you understood.

‘Fuck’s sake, come on. Please.’ Your voice was becoming little more than a desperate croak, exhausted from the effort of making your hips match my frantic pace.

‘Seulement quand je dis.’

My orgasm was burning at the base of my spine, only a few thrusts away from brimming over and poisoning you. I was thriving off it, the control a few simple words had over your breath, your hips, your hands, and I would make you wait until the very last second before I could empty myself inside you. On a whim, I decided to change the angle, lifting you up to sit in my lap, my legs bent beneath me as yours wrapped around mine, turning us into little more than a coil.

It was then I slowed my thrusts, ensuring the upward motion was infinitely more powerful than before, and at once you went limp in my arms. The stimulation made you crave me, rely on me, and I drove myself deeper inside you as a gift for your sudden giving over of control. Resting your head on my shoulder, you panted for breath as your arms held me tight against you, unwilling to let me go.

Twisting my hand in your wet hair I tugged your head to watch your neck stretch. Mouth open and eyes glazed with bliss, I felt your walls quiver and it was then I moved my hand from your hair to your clit. Pressing swift circles against the nub, I let myself provide you the full richness of my voice. The real depth of my tone, a sound that made you crumble.

‘Maintenant.’

Your orgasm tore through you as mine spilled into you. I filled you with me, pumped myself inside you as you clutched at me for fear of falling or disappearing or simply coming apart. There was an electricity to your orgasm, a cosmic thunder that made all the muscles in your body wind tightly, hypnotizing mine to do the same. We trembled together, the aftershocks eating at you as the stimulation of your folds turned touch into a punishment.

I released you, laid you back on the bed as I pulled out and watched some of my black come leak onto the cream sheets. You were positively captivating in this post-coitus state, wrapping yourself in the duvet as your chest rose and fell, glistening with sweat. You would sleep for hours, perhaps days, plagued by blood loss and the essence of evil I had spilled inside you.

I removed myself from the bed, gathered my things and left you to fall into a deadly sort of sleep while I came down from the high of living.

[agirlinhell]

HOW HAS YOUR CHARACTER DEVELOPED FROM THEIR ORIGINAL CONCEPT?

IF YOU HAVE A CANON CHARACTER, answer in the sense of what made you want to play them, how you have come to interpret them differently -

PART ONE. what thing(s) initially inspired your character ?  - Clementine has always been an enigma that bewitched me the moment I saw her on screen - both as a character and as a concept. In Season One, she was a kind and sweet and yet resourceful girl who slowly but surely saw her world fall apart and from this she slowly became more jaded. I liked the ideas that the original script of the seasons of Telltale’s The Walking Dead had in mind for her and that I find to be honestly really horrible that they cut all of this shit out - I have a post about it describing it in great detail from Season Two to Season Three: A New Frontier, but I don’t recommend it to those who have the faint of heart, but the concepts made her feel a LOT more fleshed out. This isn’t to say that she isn’t already fleshed out amazingly well, she is, but it made the heartbreaking things that she’d faced hit the audience right in the heart - though I’m certain a lot of people would be crying by the end of it had the original concepts happened, especially by Season Two’s end - it was genuinely going to be possibly a clinically depressing game and I felt as if it expressed the true horrors that the apocalypse would bring to a little girl like her.

PART TWO.  how has their personality developed from their first concept? -   I only knew there was NO FUCKING WAY I would play Clementine as she was hinted to be in canon, or at least, not completely. I wanted to make her unique and distinct in the sense that yes, Clementine loved Lee very much and he died and we already know her journey, but I wanted to fill in the parts of her story that simply weren’t answered and so I started asking myself questions. I wanted to make her morally grey, having just as many traits that made her a terrible person just as she has many good traits that make her a good person - she’s not the perfect and innocent angel that the fandom constantly parade her for being and she’s not the demon that a few people berate her as, either. We already have plenty of so-called perfect and badass female main characters simply for the fact that they act cold and carry a weapon in a few games, movies, tv shows, anime and manga, so there was no need to add another one to the roster. I still wanted to maintain that hardass attitude, that intimidating aura she was supposed to spread, but having her own unique traits that made her question the world around her. I guess she became a little bit more... affectionate? Since I started playing her? I also became more aware of how to play her motherly side more effectively, which is a blessing tbh. Originally, my portrayal of Clementine was an agnostic but then over time she became intrigued in the occult and the magical arts, so I guess that’s cool, too, and now she’s become a lot more driven post-The Final Season which is something I really like in portraying her as a confident young woman. We get to see her more as a person and less than a survivor now that her fighting days are ( mostly ) over.

PART THREE.  how has their appearance developed from their first incarnation? - Since I am not an artist, my only tool is imagination. Clem becomes fit and strong despite being slightly underweight, she gets a wooden leg which later changes to a prosthetic leg after a while. She grows out her hair as a sign of defiance of the world around her, that she’s survived everything this world could possibly throw at her and lived to tell the tale, she is a woman capable of thriving on her own in any environment and she slowly but surely begins to appreciate herself and her body and becoming a lot more confident in her physical appearance as time goes on.

PART FOUR. what do you think most makes your character unique ? Hmmm.. I don’t know. Maybe her attitude towards life? Maybe her way to deal with losses? Her way to always come back after every defeat despite her great tragedies? Her religious beliefs and practicing witchcraft? Her morally grey behaviour? Her childhood dreams and her goals beyond taking care of AJ and surviving? I really don’t know. I just know that I feel very inspired every time I think of her and that is a huge deal as far as I’m concerned.

tagged: found this a looooooooong time ago!! tagging: my fav oc’s and canon divergent muses!! <3

[raftels]

As requested, here’s a masterlist fic rec for the following categories 1) ASL brothers; 2) mugiwara nakama feels; 3) some shippy fics; and for those not really falling into any of the requested categories, I put in “others”. I took some liberty in the categorization whelp but hopefully this will do. And you didn’t ask for it but I put tiny notes on each rec’d fic bc I felt like it haha

If you wanna rec some fics that aren’t here, please, by all means, send them to me. If any of the link is wrong/broken, do tell me as well. If you want to rant/talk/squeal/cry/etc over any of the fics, I’m forever open to messages and let’s cry together.

aaand, if you haven’t been following fyeahonepiece, please do so  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

anything about the ASL BROTHERS some might be toeing the line of shipping but i’ll put a warning for those

The Best Responsibility by echaryn Summary:  Watching Luffy and Sabo bond makes him...envious. Their obvious love and affection, the way they are always together, the trust between them... it makes Law anxious, and jealous at the same time. He lost his sister before...before he could even start to understand what being an older brother means. He's nobody's older sibling anymore, but it's still inside him, isn't it? Notes: clicked on this not really expecting much but jfc oda please let this be canon i beg you like i didn’t know i needed bigbro!law until this

Brother Complex and How It Traumatizes Others by Alsheon Summary:  In which, Ace let nothing be in his way to boast about his dear baby brother. Not even in the middle of War. And not agreeing means death. A painful death. Or in another sense, Ace stopped running but for an entirely different reason. Notes: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN’T CANON LMAO this is legit my all-time favorite

What Happens When You Assume by revolutionarykoala Summary:  The Straw Hats are overjoyed to finally meet Luffy’s elusive brother Sabo. When they finally lay eyes on him however, they realise that assumptions are best to be avoided when it comes to the D. Family. Notes: in which asl confuses the shit out of everyone and yes it’s forever a mood and my aesthetic

Little Spitfire by VictoriaJL Summary:  My take on Ace raising Luffy with his caring and loving tendencies. Garp is an old geezer. Dadan throws tantrums. And the bandits are helpless, Oh, did I mention that the whitebeard pirates are completely and utterly in love with adorable little Luffy? Notes: i live for ace and sabo’s adventures in raising baby luffy lmao  

The Three Admirals by Miqila Summary:  What if Sabo, Ace and Luffy were the three admirals? Notes: i need more marine!asl fics

Triple Switch by Pachimew Summary:  In which Luffy can't find his hat, Ace is on his brother's ship, and Sabo is very confused. -Kinda self-indulgent. No ships. Pre-Saobody. Notes: swapped!asl loool another all-time favorite of mine

Through Time by xXDia-RoseXx Summary:  Ace and Sabo looking for Luffy wander into a cave and end up 12 years into the future. Through the craziness they meet their Little brother now 12 years older than them. What are two kids suppose to do when their Older-Little Brother looks at them sadly but smiles at them with glee? They try and make him happy again that's what! Notes: *screams into the sun* ASL!!!!!!!!!!!

To be made into Adults by The Eternal Empress Summary:  "When will you let me to adult things, Ace?" you ask, eyes shining bright and ears still wet behind. I pat your head as I smile. "When you're old enough." But, I know that isn't going to happen because I'll never let you become an adult (In which Ace and Sabo's brotherly love is contorted to a degree of no return) BrotherlyASL. AU. Notes:  me, at the ending: oh shiiiiit i didn’t expect that???

Same Difference by Beyond Kailani Summary:  AU. One small change can make all the difference...Someone thought lost returns Notes: the canon my asl babies deserved

The Legends of Kintaro (and Gintaro and Dotaro) by jamie15 Summary: It's Children's Day in the Kindgom of Goa, and neither Ace nor Sabo could care less. That is, until they find out what other day it is ... Notes: *slams fist on the table* this was so damn cute!

Moby Dick’s Tales by FreeFan1412 Summary: an AU where ASL ends up in the moby dick Notes: this one’s a series so just click on the author’s page and asl + whitebeard pirates is always a good laugh

(Wh)y is equal to 45 by The Eternal Empress Summary:  Ace is drunk, Sabo crashes into his room, their cat, Sunny, has been sitting by the doorway for days, and Luffy forgets the answer to (wh)y. (In which Luffy tries to find the value of y as well as the reason behind his brothers' and Sunny's mundane behavior, and the TV makes him remember the answer). Modern AU. Brotherly!ASL. Notes: i don’t wanna spoil anything but  i was shookt asdfghjkl this was so beautiful

Magical Messes and Panicking Professors: Welcome to Hogwarts by ScarletteSorceress Summary:  What do you do when you have three mischievous brothers sorted into three different houses? Well according to Headmaster Whitebeard and Professor Shanks you drink as much rum as you can before Marco can get to you. Magic spells, overturned cauldrons, and inter-house prank wars fueled by sibling rivalry; look out Hogwarts, life's about to get interesting. Hogwarts!AU Notes: asl + harry potter yes two of my favorite things

Bonds of Sea and Fire by Mithril Lace Summary:  After the fire in Gray Terminal, a worried Luffy sneaks out to go looking for Ace, only to wind up captured by Bluejam and taken from the island. When Ace finds out Luffy's been kidnapped, he sets out to retrieve Sabo so they can go after him, and a chance encounter at sea drastically alters their plans. Notes: my asl feels + them ending up with the whitebeard pirates

Not everyday is a good day, live anyway by cand13 Summary:  Not everyone tells the truth, trust anyway. Not everyone will love you back, love anyway. Not every game will be fair, play anyway. How else could anyone survive what they have and still be that lively? Notes:  ASL growing up with Whitebeard story

Somewhere to Belong by Pizza yum Summary:  Garp and Whitebeard strike a deal and Luffy, Ace, and Sabo are sent to live with the Whitebeard Pirates for six months. The trio and crew alike do not know how to handle the situation but eventually they figure each other out and the brothers find somewhere they feel like they belong. Notes: young!asl alive together is what i breathe for

Twist of Fate by Takuku Summary:  A One Piece AU where Luffy and his brothers set out after the fire in the Gray Terminal, and they come across Marco and Thatch of Whitebeard's crew. Things go differently from the original. Notes: it’s not as if im saying im weak for young!asl with the whitebeard pirates..........but i am

Ten Years Make No Difference by YohoAruto Summary:  What if Luffy was instead ten years younger than Ace himself? But as anyone would know,a life with Luffy is much more crazier and troublesome than it should be. It's just that the 'soon to be pirate king' is much more cuter. Notes: baby!luffy raised by ace and sabo YES also lmao at luffy’s first word

Come Morning, Together Again by mapplepie Summary:  One day, Ace woke up and decided shirts were overrated. Apparently it was contagious, because Luffy soon thought the same. Sabo just hoped he didn't catch whatever it was that was going around (but he does in the end, and he couldn't be happier). Time-travel. Notes: sabo is fucking done and this is the fix-it we all need

Surprisingly Addictive by ReluctantlyBratty45 Summary:  Just a story of Luffy being Luffy, but as a girl. Wacky adventures and awkward situations abound. fem!Luffy. Alive!Sabo. Notes: all i can say is that luffy’s lucky to be a boy in canon bc imagine how more protective his brothers could have been

Start of a Joke by loosingletters Summary:  A pirate goes to Impel Down and shares his cell with a political bargain chip and a wannabe noble. What sounds like the start of a really bad joke has just become reality for Ace. Notes: if asl never grew up together well there’s always impel down as a good meet-up point, i guess

Fix it, Sabo! by InsanelyWriteful Summary:  Sabo comes home to find that he really can't leave Ace and Luffy alone without some catastrophic event taking place in his absence. Now it is up to him to deal with the ultimate horror: A crying Luffy. Notes: ace trying to act cool despite panicking over making luffy cry lol

Sharp Knife of a Short Life by saraku Summary:  The Blood of the Covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Notes: asl short series in which i live for my boys being alive

Meet the Family by siqwithaQ Summary:  Luffy's was probably the most interesting proposition Zoro had ever heard, so naturally, he just had to go along with it. Notes: PITBULL - that’s it, that’s the fic.

Family Reunion by Eiliem Summary:  After Ace's rescue from Marinford, the Straw Hats hitch a ride on the Moby Dick so Luffy can check up on his brother... and because they forgot to secure transportation of their own. Notes: what should have been canon before/during/after marineford arc tbh

Saving Ace Together by firefistphoenix Summary:  What if all the straw hats come together to save Ace? set after impel down and immediately towards Marine-ford. Also Thatch is alive and I intend to keep Ace and Whitebeard alive too. Notes: everyone alive is my kink

wish by spirit if by yes by midnightluck Summary:  Mostly, Sabo likes his job, even when it means trying to chase down pirates like Whitebeard in the New World to discuss important Army affairs. Okay, maybe especially then. Notes:  Reunion AU where Sabo's a lucky little brat, everyone's happy, and nothing hurts. Well, okay, some stuff still hurts. BUT THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOW CANON HAD GONE ;___________;

Immortality is What We Leave Behind by BedlamAnjelle Summary:  The lines between mythos and humans were very clear cut, and Marco liked it that way. Everyone knew that the great Suzaku had deemed humans savage and was content to have nothing to do with them ever again. Which is why the phoenix lord buying two humans- young boys, no less- at the auction came as a shock. Especially to Marco. Just what was he thinking, yoi? Notes: all the kid!acelu feels and reluctant papa!marco ++ izou & thatch

Wild Blood by siqwithaQ Summary:  In a world where the King never died, Roger and Dragon try to raise their sons away from the government's eye. Secrecy turns out to be more of a challenge than they bargained for. Notes: im sad this hasn’t been updated bc we were getting to the really good part of toddler!ace and baby!luffy finally meeting

Young and Built to Fall by fingers-falling-upwards Summary:  Ace will save his nakama. He will save his father. And he will save his little brother and ensure Luffy's happiness even if it kills him. Again. Thankfully, he won't be doing it alone. Together, he and Luffy will change the world. Notes: a timetravel fix-it fic

Learning Freedom by elri(angelrider13) Summary:  They were slaves. One who had known freedom and lost it; one who had been born without it. Will a chance meeting give them something to live for? 15yo!ace and 3yo!luffy Notes: ughhh this remains as one of my all time favs jfc it’s so beautifully written and my heart aches on how young and innocent luffy is and how ace raised him up; warning for heavy themes; it’s been discontinued though bc people kept plagiarizing it asdfghjkl

Ten Years Difference by Stormy1x2 Summary:  It's amazing what differences there would be if there were a ten-year age difference between Ace and Luffy. For one thing, how on earth could Ace possibly feel good about himself leaving Foosha Village if his brother had been six-and-a-half instead of the canon fourteen? Notes: older!ace and younger!luffy + one piece canon sign me up

Ace in the Hole by Reign of Rayne Summary:  Raised as an assassin with no knowledge of his father and holding no drive beyond the orders he's given, Ace finds his whole world flipped by one small boy and a promise. Notes: older!ace and younger!luffy fics is my kryptonite

Gang Wars by samettikettu Summary:  In order to protect his most treasured possession, Ace joins the Whitebeard gang but soon finds out that protecting his brother is much harder than he had thought. When gang wars rampage and child welfare officers knock the door, Ace is lucky to have friends around him who are willing to help him and his four-year-old little brother, Luffy. Notes: ace raising luffy hell to the yes

A Pirate’s Resolve by Anjelle Summary: Luffy has finally reached his dream of becoming the Pirate King. He goes to visit Ace's grave to finally finish his journey. But really, there's more adventure awaiting him. When he arrives on an uninhabited island with his crew, he's attacked by a stranger. However, perhaps this boy isn't a stranger after all. [AceLu brotherly. No pairings] Notes: did someone ask for acelu feels??? here you go

Adopted by Default by Kitsune Foxfire Summary:  Moby Dick is anything but peaceful on a regular day. The crew is just well used to their special brand of crazy, however. So when an unexpected guest arrives, it throws everyone into disorder. Really, where the hell is this cheeky brat's crew? Someone needs to tell Ace that his ship-brothers are NOT babysitters! Notes: another all-time fav bc i live for luffy breaking the whitebeard pirates

Drunken Brocon by DemonKittyAngel Summary:  It isn't until the first time Ace gets drunk that they learn he has a brother. Doting on him has become a favorite pass time and they can see him thriving under the attention. Such a cute little brother. Which is why it comes as such a shock that he's a big brother. "Did I tell you about the time he got swallowed by the alligator, again?"   Notes: Drunk!Ace Brocon!Ace Family!Whitebeards

Breakout by Karukyuu Summary:  After being momentarily stopped during his invasion of Impel Down, Luffy wakes up one hour earlier. Not only does this spell the worst trouble Impel Down has ever seen, but also bestows the Marines with a most unwanted surprise. Notes: what do you mean this isn’t what happened

Never Save by siqwithaQ Summary: Ace's guardian angel might be something other than an angel. Notes: alternatively titled as “hurt me more dot jpg”

Soulmates!verse by Elri (angelrider13) Summary:  There was always one Angel and one Demon. No more, no less. One was pure, the other tainted. They were never meant to co-exist, and yet, they find themselves inevitably drawn together. Notes: there are 3 stories in this universe with basically the same theme of angel!luffy and demon!ace; warning (?): this also toes the line of being shippy between ace and luffy but well it depends on the reader i guess

Forgot to Hide the Bodies by siqwithaQ Summary:  Despite being lovers and sharing an apartment, neither Ace nor Luffy ever found out what the other does for a living — not to say that there haven't been close calls. Because, really, some skeletons in the closet are more literal than others. Ace/Luffy Notes: warning (?) acelu is shippy; but ok goodness this one made me laugh

Brave and Strong by samettikettu Summary:  Everything made sense now, why Sabo hadn't hugged him back and why he didn't say much to him during their brief meetings. Or why he hadn't waited till he woke up. Sabo blamed him for Ace's death. Notes: i didn’t know i needed yandere!sabo until this

Borrowing Days by Strange-Charms Summary:  Sabo was determined, he'd do this right. To make up for all those he'd missed. Notes: ahhh such a “quiet” and nice sabo and luffy brotherly bonding

Detective Loomes and the Phantom Thief by samettikettu Summary:  Detective Sherlock Loomes is the greatest detective in all England and he's tracking down the murderer who took his friend's life, a man called Moriarty. During his investigations, another criminal catches his eyes and messes up his head with his charming smile. It's the Phantom Thief Lupin! Sabo/Luffy Notes: everyone’s roles are great; warning (?): shippy sabolu

The Monkey Clan by loofahlover Summary:  Zoro had never thought that going out with Luffy would be easy. But that knowledge had not prepared him to meet with a senile old marine, an ex-mercenary, a half-drunk traveling salesman, a fireman with a questionable skillset, a shady government agent, and an even shadier sociopath. Notes: this was tagged as zoro/luffy but the focus was on the “monkey clan” and this was fcking hilarious and literally has been a rollercoaster from start until the end lmao I LOVE THIS

The Hat by Taisi Summary:  About a year before the Corrida Colosseum in Dressrosa, Sabo met one of Luffy's nakama. Well, they didn't actually meet. They spoke, but names weren't exchanged; other things were. Notes: so simple but sooooo good; AU drabble

NAKAMA FICS ALL of akurosa’s fics are a must-read!!! but let me list down my top ones from this author this is the price that has been paid in full (Some days, it's the ridiculously small things that break them and make them start over again.)   moments like this (simple and sweet Zoro&Luffy nakamaship moments)   Next Time Won’t You Sing With Me (The Straw Hats' ABCs. Short stories, all Luffy-centric with crew member interactions and sometimes, with Ace. notes: the last chapter (letter z) killed me hence, this) Like When a Fox Falls (Last time, he saved them. This time, they'll find him. A modern-reincarnation fic)  

2 Things by The StoryBooker Summary:  Zoro contemplates the things he does for his captain. Then he has a conversation with Rayleigh about what it means to be a first mate. Notes: im weak for first mates complaining about their captains

A Light Against The Dark Sky by zealousfreak27 Summary:  In which Robin Nico adopts six squirming children, becomes an object of interest for a famous elderly violinist, makes the acquaintance of a very interesting demolitionist, and learns to live again. Notes: pretty sure im gonna rec all kid!luffy fics tbh

Already Forever by Taisi Summary:  Hundreds of years from now, historians will never know what her captain was thinking, when he brought Enies Lobby to its knees with a declaration of war, when he attacked a Celestial Dragon on an island in an archipelago, and she won't be there to explain, "it was for a friend, you see?" (In which Nami comes to understand that the world will never understand Luffy.) Notes: nami’s thoughts are pretty much the fans’ thoughts

Always Gold by kokune Summary:  He's tied to a tree, his swords and crew are missing, and now some ten-year-old brat calling himself Sabo is waving around a lead pipe, demanding to know what happened to his little brother. Zoro closes his eyes and wonders if a bottle of booze will appear out of nowhere if he wishes hard enough. It's not like the day can get any weirder, anyway. Notes: post timeskip!SHs encounter young!ASL on Dawn Island

Copycat by Taisi Summary: And then, so quickly no one saw it happen, the man is reeling back with a broken nose, the creature is swept up and away, and Luffy- cradling it safely against his chest- looks as surprised as the rest of them. (In which there are absolutely no miraculous returns, and old wounds ache before a rain.) Notes: *wraps luffy in a burrito blanket*

Calendars and Kings by Taisi Summary:  "When I was little, all the other kids got treats and candies on my birthday too, so I didn't know it was special for me. Ace always said it was, but I thought that was just 'cause he was my big brother. I thought that since it was already a holiday, it didn't count!" Notes: just some nakama feels for all of us

Inversion by siqwithaQ Summary: "He wished things were different. He wished things would change." Notes: did someone ask for an ocean of angst in 1 chapter??? here you go

Inanition by Taisi Summary:  in·a·ni·tion, noun; lack of mental or spiritual vigor and enthusiasm; exhaustion caused by lack of nourishment. Notes: [In which Luffy's metabolism is faster than his doctor understands.]

Linger by Duzzie Summary:  AU. They're just a bunch of lonely kids in a hospital ward before he comes along: the boy with a smile like sunshine. Notes: what was that you wanted more angsty fics??? here you go

Smile Again by Taisi Summary:  His eyes are bright, and his mouth is stretched into a grin as wide as the world, and looking at him Usopp could cry. Notes: Modern AU, Nakamaship; there’s a lingering ache bc of the loss but the support of the mugiwara family is there

The Straw Hat by EmberEvolution Summary: The straw hat Shanks had given Luffy all those years ago finally fits on the boy's head. For anyone else, it would be an exciting event as it proves that they've grown from before. For Luffy, it's an event that triggered a panic fit and the reason behind it is simple: What if he outgrows his treasured straw hat? Notes: luffy has legitimate concerns ok

S We Walk the Beaten Path by soomin Summary: They were so close to the end that a few of them have actually begun to think about the ever after. However, Sabo warns the Strawhat crew that one of them will not make it to the afterwards if they go to Raftel, the crew thinks. It has always been pirate king or death. Not a single one thought that the “or” could one day be “and”. Notes: The highlight would have to be how each of the crew member reacted and tried finding a “solution”.

In The Bag by Kamu Summary: All pirates have hordes of treasure.It just so happens in this life, cats are the treasure in Luffy's. Notes: luffy as the owner of mugiwara!cats but this def needs the next part to update

Kizuna by YokoHogawa Summary:  Usopp carefully watches Luffy over the sandwich he is biting into, and he can’t help but worry. Sanji has an anxiety problem. Something wakes Zoro at the crack of dawn. Notes: nice approach immediately after the crew’s 3d2y reunion

Exclusivity by Taizi Summary:  A stranger flirts with the oblivious Luffy, and the Straw Hat Pirates reveal a possessive streak. Notes: ngl i’m weak for people being protective over luffy

Breadwinner by siqwithaQ Summary:  Because when the trouble doesn't find the Straw Hats by itself, the Straw Hats have to go looking for trouble. Notes: im still choking with laughter especially with the law-luffy-nami scenes lmao

Nothing but Trouble by Kitsune Foxfire Summary:  Marco and Thatch have had just about enough of the Moby Dick's newest passenger. Whenever Ace isn't trying to kill Oyaji, he's driving the rest of the crew insane with his bizarre habits. They're not even sure if they've picked up a feral dog or a person anymore. Who the heck raised this kid, anyway? Wolves? Notes: oh, ace, i love you

Unexpected Emergencies by blueh Summary:  Luffy had been alone most of his short life, with no one to love and no one to rely on. This all changed, however, when the Whitebeard Pirates stumble upon his lonely little island and take the four-year-old boy under their wing. Who knew that the little rubber brat would become one of Oyaji's strongest commanders when he grew up? Ha. The Whitebeard Pirates sure didn't. Notes: ahhh the bonding of luffy and the whitebeard pirates as he grew up was so nice

SHIPPY FICS aka i didn’t know i shipped anyone in one piece but damn these fics are good

An Interesting Proposal by petiteneko Summary:  If anybody told Smoker that he would have a casual conversation with his boss at a pirate's wedding, he would have thought them beyond insane. Law/Luffy Notes: wherein smoker’s sure he didn’t sign up for this bullshit and the wedding hall has got to be the “most wanted area in history”

Her Pace by Arithra Summary:  When Trafalgar Law first met Strawhat Luffy in the auction house on Sabaody, he like everyone else, assumed her to be male. It was a simple fact. A fact that would not survive their second meeting. Law/Luffy Notes: genderbent!luffy and as usual he/she is still so damn cute

Stow Away Captains by xairylle Summary:  Law sneaks into the men's quarters of the Thousand Sunny. Zoro contemplates on how to deal with it. And Luffy, well, Luffy is just Luffy. Notes: screaming over the predicament of zoro, sanji, usopp, and brook lmao

Youthful Years by grayclouds Summary:  Snippets and bits of seven years in Hogwarts during which Law hopelessly pines for Luffy. Law/Luffy Notes: the hp au every fandom needs

We’re Not Nuns by deadhemoglobin Summary:  Luffy went to prison. [[ZoLu, LawLu, Prison AU, warnings inside]] Notes: explicit Zoro/Luffy y’all and the premise was interesting

A Clash of Blades by Arithra Summary:  Mihawk had lived by the blade, had lived for the blade and the moment she lost her title she would die by the blade as well. Only Shanks ever dared to disagree. (fem!mihawk; Shanks/Mihawk) Notes: i thought mihawk looked pretty in oda’s genderbent drawing so i casually looked for a fic then this happened and jfc ngl this works sooo well and the fact that the author managed to keep them in character was super nice

ASL in Love by Kereea Summary: Three things would be true about the ASL Brothers’ relationships: they would be spectacular, they would be weird, and Shanks would not approve of his kids’ love lives. Marco/Ace Sabo/Koala Law/Luffy Notes: papa!shanks is the best and him raging over his kids’ “special others” is the best Hey, Mr. Star, I Think I love You (Please Love Me Too) by JuHuaTai Summary: Rising star actor, Marco Newgate, and the darling of the music industry, Spade, are just friends. Good friends who met in the most awkward of circumstances, and hold great respect for each other’s craft. Okay, a whole lot deal of great respect, and there might be a shade of crush here and there, but it’s a celebrity crush and that’s all there is to it.At least, that's what they kept saying. The whole world sure doesn't buy it one bit. Marco/Ace Notes: fluff goodness literally this is what you’d need if you wanna have toothache from all the sweetness also i cry over luffy being a youtuber

We’ll Look Back and Laugh at Ourselves by JuHuaTai Summary: Between his new boyfriend and his workaholic boss, Marco felt like he was surrounded by family issues of the father and son dispute variety. Maybe it was just a coincidence.Or maybe he should've listened to the office gossip more. Maybe then he'd figure it out sooner. Marco/Ace Notes: i relate with whitebeard and (later on) rayleigh

Thwarted by a Malign Star by DeadSkullB Summary:  “Fuck pirates, they're scum - except for Luffy, Luffy's fine… But he's not a pirate yet… that means it's fine, yeah, pirates suck,” Ace said matter-of-factly. Then his brain slowly caught up and he looked at the man - his face, not his very, very nice chest - with narrowed eyes. “Are you a pirate?” Marco smirked and pointed down at his chest. “You’re Marco the pine- Phoenix,” Ace stumbled over the word, heart having leapt to his throat and filled his ear with constant drumming. He didn't realize he spilled his drink - when had he gotten a refill? Marco/Ace Notes: came for the summary bc ace doting on luffy even as a marine is gold and stayed bc damn that was hot; nsfw & explicit obv

One Piece Soulmates AU by Charlie_Mou Summary: You have the name of your soulmate tattooed on your body but it's the name that will have the biggest impact on the world. Marco/Ace Law/Luffy Notes: The variety of One Piece Soulmate AU, mostly MarcoAce, LawLu, and others which isn’t written yet.

OTHERS of doughnuts and meat by dami_an Summary: "Where's my MEAT?!!" Behind the counter, Katakuri looks up from the sales ledger. He sighs, "Told you; this is a bakery. We don't sell meat here." "But you have meat buns!!!" Luffy whines. Notes: “in which katakuri's a baker and ends up befriending a seven-year-old luffy”; the exasperation of katakuri ftw and kid!luffy is the cutest basically a very wholesome shit i live for

The World Goes Around by WinglessCrows Summary: "How come you're called the pirate hunter, when you're a pirate yourself?"- How Zoro got his nickname and how his stupid captain was somehow involved. Notes: a headcanon i accept

Grandfatherhood by Keereea Summary:  Sengoku and Garp chat about Sengoku's discovery about Law. Notes: “Like Sengoku wouldn't tell Garp "crap I've join the 'my grandson's a pirate' club." warning (?): there’s a tiny bit of lawlu at the end

An Old-Hat Rivalry by lunarshores(damichan) Summary:  Three times Marco met a different man wearing the straw hat, and one time he decided to follow it. Notes: i just love the takes of authors on how marco and luffy’s dynamic is going to be and ugh the ending was so cute

A Song for the Heartsore and War-Weary by Summary: "Sorry, Ace," Marco murmured to himself as he riffled through the stack of old newspapers. "I don't know how it happened, but... I think I'm stalking your little brother." Notes: another take on marco and luffy’s dynamic asdfghjkl

Unsinkable by RikoJasmine Summary: The Straw Hats find out that their captain has one hell of a family. When asked about his mother’s whereabouts, Luffy simply grins and throws his arms out, gesturing to the endless expanse of sea around them. With complete sincerity, he replies, “The ocean is my mother!”An AU where Luffy isn’t entirely human, and water affects him differently than other Devil Fruit users. Notes: an interesting take on who luffy’s mother might be

Take It From Another Savior by JadeFlicker Summary: "You realize, by saving Straw Hat-ya, you may very well have indirectly changed or saved a lot of lives.” “You think?” “I know.” On their way to Wano, Law and his group just happen to meet the Red Hair Pirates. Notes: ahhh, i loved the “quietness” of this fic and some interactions between characters i didn’t think i’d be interested in seeing (hence this)

Like Cats and Dogs by PitViperOfDoom Summary:  It should be easy to judge a man by the shape of his soul, but Strawhat Luffy spits in the face of logic and predictability. Notes: i finally found a daemon fic yes

Law’s Adventure in the Thousand Sunny by LuffyForKing Summary: Law's thoughts on the crew's antics. Rated T for some swearing. Notes: basically, the strawhats broke law lmao

About You by pitchblackfingernails Summary:  “Is he serious?!” He heard faintly from Eustass-ya’s direction. And it seemed that he was. Because “Straw Hat” Monkey D. Luffy, dodged one, two bullets that flew in his direction, formed a fist, pulled his arm back, and then, with a shout, hit the face of one of the World Nobles with a force that sent the sucker flying halfway across the room, completely shattering the benches that were in the way in the process. And grunted in satisfaction, a fierce and proud look on his face. Law would be lying if he claimed that the sight didn’t make his heart skip a beat. Fucking hell. So that was Monkey D. Luffy. Notes: warning (?): it’s tagged as law/luffy but so far, it’s more on showing law’s pov on luffy pre timeskip

Every You, Every Me by tokyonightskies Summary: “Did you know, Roci…” Doffy begins in a voice that only spells out trouble. As if he knows something Rocinante doesn’t, has never thought about until it’s said and done. “That Sengoku keeps your marine file in his desk?” There’s something comforting about how unpredictable his brother is, something he can count on at least when there’s nothing else to rely on. He grabs a commentary on their great-great grandmother and puts it on top of the others, on the pile of papers he doesn’t really suspect his brother to read thoroughly. “I didn’t.” He responds tiredly as he shuts the drawer and leans against the wall, “Do I want to know how you know?” Doffy comes to stand next to him, tilts his head back until Roci can glimpse at his eyes from the side, and teases, “I looked, of course.” Notes: interesting take on what if roci wasn’t allowed to infiltrate the donquixote family and continued being a marine but it has only 1 chapter whelp; there are pairings tagged but then again no shippy thing at all since it’s not updated

Black Scab by tofu-melon Summary:  Having been raised by his grandfather since a young age, Luffy grows up powerful and intelligent enough to become part of the CP9... more precisely, he becomes their Chief Director. Notes: warning (?) it was tagged as Lucci/Luffy but so far it doesn’t have any yet

Drop-In Voyage by Lily Noire Summary:  So how does one go about visiting family on the other side of the globe? Easy: just board a ship. There's a pit stop on the way, you say? Dangerous, is it? No biggie, simply wreak havoc. And watch out for that fist! Strongest man in the world? Really? Then, surpass him it is! - Luffy did always have his priorities straight... somewhat. Notes: ahhh i wish the author would continue this bc i wanna see everyone’s reaction to their visit lol

My Family Can Beat Up Your Family by rose7anne101 Summary:  Big Mom decided she needed to make an unforgettable example of one of the Worst Generation, her chosen target: Straw Hat Luffy. Alive!Ace Notes: this is the canon we deserve wherein nobody died and luffy’s still wrecking havoc

Oh God, My Eyes! by Kitsune Foxfire Summary:  No one could ever really be sure what went on in Garp's head. So they weren't sure if his new cloths were some kind of strange D-related tactic, or if the man had actually lost his mind. If they'd just look at the date, they'd know. His cute grandsons always sent the most thoughtful gifts for his birthday. Notes: garp the grandpa ftw

Pets by clarobel Summary:  AU. Zoro was a stray until Shanks picked him up and adopted him. Now in a house with reindeer, kittens, fish and dogs, the green cat doesn't know who to trust. Luffy's delighted to have a new friend to play with, though! Notes: mugiwara as pets hell yes

The Justice of Freedom by Stelra Etnae Summary:  Garp is a pirate, Roger is a Marine? The Marine top-tiers are full of slacking drunkards and the Yonko are obsessed with rice crackers? Just what kind of chaos will unfold in a world such as this? A role-reversal AU where everything is upside down and no one is quite sane. Drabble series. Notes: im sCREAMING loool

Storm by  Kuroshi44 Summary:  Because even across the seas he would find a way to let his child know he cared. Notes: i can’t wait for a legit dragon and luffy reunion

Supernova Family by YohoAruto Summary:  There are laughter, shouting, fight, all the halabaloo. It's what families do! But we all have to wonder if this family can survive with eachothers? Just a regular Supernova Family. Notes: ok but i really love the supernovas and this modern au fic is gold

The adventures of the Supernova pirates by WhimsicalAnimeFan Summary:  This is the story of the Supernova crew, under their captain, Strawhat Luffy! Join Luffy as he travels the east blue and through the Grand Line to collect pirates for his crew! Notes: thank the heavens they’re not under one crew

Throne Without Direction by Som3on3 Summary:  "You have an old soul," Benn said and Luffy wanted to laugh, that's one way to put it, falling from the heavens and chained upon the earth. Instead he only gazed at the unchanging sky before smiling, "I'm just a free spirit." Notes: this had so much potential especially after the reveal in the latest chapter but it hasn’t been updated ;________;

**will add more from time to time

[thrcshold-blog]

i’ve been laughing at this gif for five minutes straight, hELPSFDKJGSDF

hey guys !! i’m kat, 21 yo struggling uni student from east coast canada who’s whipped for fromis, boa and brockhampton and currently ignoring finals prep in favour of typing my soon-to-be bland and long-winded intro ! sjfkgdf so i’m gonna get to the point as quickly as possible and present my messy sagi baby, zoe who’s kinda just. cracked tbh. you can check out her ( slightly unfinished ) stats HERE, and like this or im me if you’d like to plot !

EDIT: btw, my d*scord's EXO'S BITCH#2030 if anyone wants to hmu over there !

< park jiwon, cis female, she/her, twenty-one > welcome to the witching community of chicago, ZOE RYU ! you’re a HEDGE WITCH right ? some of the locals around here have described you as being RESTLESS and CANDID, but others have said you’re PERCEPTIVE and VERSATILE. i guess i’ll have to see for myself. now, being a hedge witch, i hear you excel at DREAM MANIPULATION. the chicago witching community prides itself on having skilled witches so make sure to keep practicing !  < kat, 21, nt >

so i still haven’t figured out the full backstory with her but i’ll edit this a little later when i have my wits about me sjglfgd

that aside, zoe grew up with her parents in a suburb of halifax, canada and it was a fairly simple life they had — papa ryu's a hedge witch and is just living a chill life as a cop.. just handling a lot of petty crimes and traffic violations bc i’m p sure halifax is about the same criminally as my own province dklgsg

and her mom’s a green witch who’s like, the closest thing to a hippie that you can get given she’s got a policeman for a husband sgkdfjsgfdkl anyways she did her own Thing by running her family’s little garden centre uptown before delving into a venture with a uh, microbrewery 

that whole set up sounds Dumb but. one of her parents has to be cracked like zoe in some ways and it clearly won’t be her dad so ! moving on !

sdfhjhgsh so zoe was a middle child with an older brother and twin smols of opposite sexes, and the only one of the four to end up becoming a hedge witch, or showing signs of becoming one i should say, like her dad ! she was always an imaginative and creative kid — something her mom especially let her expand upon — and a little wise beyond her years

she often had vivid dreams and, in her soon-to-be proven crackhead fashion, would tell them in a dramatic, outlandish way

the bitch was born to be a Loud theatre kid. anyways DKSFGJDSGFK

her dad saw this and other little things as a sign that she might just become a hedge witch like him and was Hyped, so like any proud parent he.......... kinda projected buT with good intentions

ig ?? idk but yeah, a hedge witch she would become sdglkgdk

she did delve into her powers and was interested in being a Good little witch, but she likely didn’t make it her top priority if the rest of this intro will be anything to go by 

her school life was p ordinary, she was extroverted and enthusiastic but so fucking Annoying all the same

performed decently but def excelled in language arts/english. not just saying that bc Me but —

joined the drama club in high school and was a little thespian until she graduated and headed off to uni at acadia for an arts degree !

but after a couple of years, and despite the friends she had there, she took a step back. def the type of person to wanna escape and explore, and her studying so close to home limited her ability to do that

so she moved to chicago like, a couple of months before tr*mp became president-elect bc she would’ve cancelled everything, demanded her deposit back, had she arrived after that SKLDFGSDGFL

her brother had been a little more focused on his abilities than she had been at the time, and had visited a couple of larger witching communities to idk, see what they were like ?? since theirs was quite small in comparison; and he told her about them only for her to decide to check one of them out for a bit

and she picked chicago bc....... tbh she only really picked chicago on a whim, and her weird love for that one episode of victorious with trina doing her one woman show might’ve played the smallest role in it all KDSGJKDSGF

so she’s been here for a couple of years now and had started her studies again a couple of months back at a uni near her little apartment ( haven’t checked out possible places to add to her stats just to have a uni Set, so i’ll do that later gdklsdg )

and that’s really it for her bg !

PERSONALITY, SPECIALTY BG AND OTHER SHIT

so she needs action or something of interest in her life to keep her Up, but the feeling can fade quickly

like i said, she left her province — and country — to experience more, both in her abilities and in general; and while the latter is a little defunct given her time here already, whatever else comes with it tends to keep her from wanting to run off to the next enthralling adventure as soon as she possibly can

she also can’t sit still for v long if we wanna keep this short and show less Grand ideas sgdklfg

given her partially goofy ass, it’s hard to fathom her as being a blunt, serious or even snide person, but she can be given the situation or..... perhaps it’s just how she is in the moment sdjgsfdg

zoe does, however, show her blunt side in a more quick-witted, casual way than serious so it’s unlikely that you’ll see her act up, and uncommon but definitely not rare to see her be mature and handle shit accordingly

idk if that made sense but we’re gonna keep going for now sdgkjgdf

she’s a solid, loyal person, but she’s also quite observant and wise — well, wise when she wants to be anyways

and she’s definitely NOT a mary sue, but she is, as i said in her app, versatile

she’s adaptive in certain settings and situations, she doesn’t limit herself in what she can and can’t do and is a semi-functional multitasker DGKHJDF

the second thing prob has something to do with her ( over ) confidence but anyways

uhhhhh last but not least, she’s a Crackhead.

SFJGDDFSG

she’s a living, breathing level 4 shitposter and my patience is definitely gonna wear thin with this brat, i sweaR

tho at the end of the day, she’s chill despite it. by some miracle at least

when it comes to dream manipulation, she’s always found it to be cool

and one thing that makes it rewarding and interesting is how it would help her little sister with nightmares when she started becoming proficient at the actual manipulation aspect of it

bc who wouldn’t use a power to help a distressed kid :(

eventually it’s escalated to her just chilling with her mom in her dreamland bc phone and skype calls are boring af and not enough for them to be dumb bitches together sdgfklsgfdj

and to just fuck around with her neighbours and what not. in a good way

........ for the most part, the witch can’t guarantee that the rude girl down the hall won’t see her long-time crush run off with zoe out of subtle revenge for knowingly closing the elevator door in her face when she had her arms full of grocerieS —

and while it is.. p invasive, it also fuels her creativity by using some elements as inspiration for her writing 

it’s an ethical dilemma that she wrestles with, rest assured folks

what else, what else.............

she’s good with her family if i didn’t imply it enough

she’s bi but..... girls disappoint her far less than guys so she has a Preference DJFGSKGDKF

likes to act like she isn’t a massive party girl but, she’s a massive party girl

how else will she release her pent-up energy ?? sgkjhgsdj

loves garlic fingers, but bc america’s behind on shit from what ik, she’s as disappointed as i am that she has no access to them

spits.

honestly, she’s just v atlantic canadian when it comes to food, her fondness for fog and the ocean and neither are Really a thing in this part of the states so she’s struggliNG still

uh, feels like the only one who’s following a more...... human life path, one not as connected to magic as other witches she’s met, and feels a tad embarrassed bc of it, but it’s what she feels most comfortable with

loves horror movies and halloween, is That bitch who laughs at the former and goes all out with the latter

thinks virginia woolf is a legend and is Right in doing so SGKDJFGD

idk what else to add so let’s end it here !

forgot to mention that i don’t have her plots page finished, so i’ll link it when i do !

[antivanbrandy]

this is... very long. read more at your own risk xD

honestly that addition to that post is really shaking me up because like, holy shit, this is something i have been beating myself up over for a long time. and in before any assumptions, no i do not begrudge these kids their skills or their success, it’s awesome they’re doing so well, and yes i support them, and no i don’t see them as competition! but i am absolutely my own hardest critic and i am constantly disappointed in myself, constantly disappointed it’s taken me 30 years to even start to find the right paths let alone head down them, it’s taken me twice as long to be half as skilled. i don’t have to be competing against others to feel let down by my own lack of progress

it never occurred to me before that i didn’t have a fraction of the readily available resources or support systems of today during my formative art years

i lived in a very strict household. there were two sets of rules there; the ones for everyone else, and the ones for me. i wont go into the guts of it, save to say that my stepfather saw me as competition for my mother’s affection and got satisfaction from taking it out on me

anyway, back on track: even in my earliest memories, i was constantly drawing. all day, every day. but my mother was poor and we didn’t have much. i drew what i could remember of the characters in the disney movies i’d seen, and i had two on vhs, aladdin, and the beauty and the beast. i watched them over and over and drew my lil heart out, but had no real references

when my mother met and married my step father in the mid 90s, the vhs’s were taken away. i was no longer allowed to watch movies, i was not allowed to watch tv. we didn’t have the internet at home, and we had no books. i wasn’t even allowed on the front lawn on my own, so when i say i had no references to draw from, i’m not exaggerating. but i kept on drawing, kept on trying to draw those characters i loved from memory. i did my baby best

in the early 00s i made a new friend at school, and she introduced me to anime. i fell in love with it. she would tape card captor sakura and digimon and bring them into school so i could watch them (we would get to homeroom an hour early and use the tv and vhs player in the room before the school day began). my art style turned into a lanky spiky terrible tryhard anime mess, but i was living. i continued to draw my little heart out, and fill my days with escapist self insert daydreams about my fave animes

this entire time, through both the disney and anime phases of my life, i was going through roughly an entire 500 sheet ream of printer paper every month to two months, as that’s all i had to draw on. i’m not exaggerating when i say i drew a lot. every spare moment i had was devoted to it, and i had huge folder upon folder upon folder full of my drawings

it didn’t affect my grades btw, i was an A&B student

a year or so into this anime phase, i got my first job, and used my pay to buy myself one of those terrible ‘how to draw manga’ books every other payday. i poured over every detail in them, absorbed them like a sponge. they were all i had to reference, all i had to grow from

bloody fucking hell, if i could only go back and slap those damn books out of my stupid, desperate, impressionable little hands, i would. they were poison. they taught me terrible clunky, wildly incorrect habits and practices. they helped crystalise so many bad anatomy habits that i am still to this day trying to unlearn. there’s no doubt in my mind that they, and my naive lauding of them, helped me stagnate and lost me years of potential progress

my parents wanted me to draw realism, but didn’t seem to understand that to draw realistically i needed to... you know... have references to draw from. i was not allowed to draw them, and i was not allowed to leave the house, and i was not allowed to buy any more books. they saw my inability to pull photo-realistic portraits from my ass memory as a personal slight against them

early-mid 00s i found deviantart through the school’s internet and got my first taste of community among artists, and i was instantly enamoured. i didnt have any art friends at school, it was just me. but suddenly, there was art at my fingertips! i made friends, made small progress toward improving. and then my stepfather found out, stormed into school, and demanded they block my access to the site. they did

i was banned from drawing at home. he took my shitty how to draw manga books away and was set to punish me if i drew. i was also at this time being threatened with being pulled out of school and sent somewhere ‘i had no friends'. i was barrelling towards graduation and my part time job took up most of my free time after school and on weekends, and i no longer had my fun hobby and stress relief outlet in drawing, or my art friends on deviantart. i drew when i could, like in a friends school diary, or on receipt paper at work, but my stepfather had a way of knowing everything and punishing me for all of it (this goes well beyond the art thing, but like i said i wont get into the guts of it because it's bleak as shit)

i left home less than six months after i graduated high school, and i had a brief foray into drawing cutesy gory horror themed stuff, but by then i was so used to not drawing that i just... stopped. i was working myself into exhaustion, going to uni, learning to manage living out of home, partying with friends, and juggling it all with my first serious relationship. finding time to draw felt impossible, and because my entire post-stepfather childhood consisted of me having everything i showed interest in derided and taken away, i was used to just... doing without. i just shut down and lost interest to protect myself, because pining is terrible

i all but stopped drawing for about six years. the occasional geometric pattern doodle while i was on the phone, or an eye. no proper drawings

in the end, the thing that got me back into it was when skyrim released in 2011. and it was hard. i knew i didn’t want to draw anime or kitschy cute horror stuff any more, that i had to find my own style, but it was so difficult to develop. i was in my mid 20s at this point, my shitty habits and expectations felt fixed and i didn’t know where to start. i gave deviantart another shot, but it didn’t feel like it fit any more, everyone i knew there was gone i couldn’t find my place. i met some friends, moved over to tumblr. bought my first tablet for my 25th birthday. bought some anatomy books, loomis and hogarth, but to this day i’ve not read them properly. tried to follow artist’s whose style’s i admired. i finally had access to tools and support i needed to improve

six years later, i’m still struggling. it seems insurmountable sometimes. i know i’ve made progress in that six years, but it feels... too little too late. i struggle with wanting to quit every day, and even now i only draw once or twice a month. the amount of art behind me could fill several landfills, they do make a sizeable chunk of at least one. but the road ahead is so overwhelming, and so long. i don’t know where to really start to get better. i know i should study realism, but at this point, even though i now have the tools, the references, at my fingertips thanks to, y’know, being an adult with internet access, i feel trapped by that little girl who kept getting all her attempts to improve shot down. i still feel like that silly little girl who wasted time and money on learning bad habits and bad anatomy. i feel held back, which is foolish, but i do

to wonder what i could have become with access to all this back when i was a teen? with a little support? i can’t even imagine tbh

but realising that i still managed to make it this far despite being cut off and isolated from any kind of community during my formative art years is comforting, in its own way. the thought of where to go from here is still so daunting, but at least i have access to the means for the time being. and who knows? maybe one day it’ll all click, and i’ll be able to make sense of the mechanics of all this. a girl can hope

[dragonofyang]

Some ramblings under the cut because my mind is swirling with words once more lol

So I discovered recently that Love Never Dies is the sequel to my most favorite musical of all time Phantom of the Opera, and I went to see it last week and I was utterly blown away. But the problem is that it’s making one of the things that frustrates me most about myself resurface. I’m a very passionate and easily-impassioned person. Get me in the right mood on the right subject and I can rant and rave and cry delights and horrors over a single subject, and yet I can barely muster the passion to argue in an academic setting even if it’s a subject I’m well-versed in. I am easy to drag into fandoms if I meet somebody passionate about it, I am forming a fandom for a book my friend isn’t even done writing yet because they are passionate for it. They light up when they talk about it and because of that I want nothing more than to build the fandom for it myself and share its glories with the world. My goal for that book as a fan is to be able to cosplay the main character as he appears in their art and in the book, and to show people the magic of the world they’re writing and the characters they’re bringing to life. I’m either 100 or 0 and there’s hardly a true in-between, and I’ve met plenty of people capable of it but what is it to be effectively “in like” with something rather than “in love”? What is it to not be bowled over in beauty or disgust by a work of art? My emotions run wild and I see so much of my creative energy in the Phantom, but I also see myself in Christine because I desire nothing more than to have a taste of that wild beauty that runs through somebody’s mind and informs their own work, to meet somebody so capable of passion and creation that it’s a sublime wonder comparable to the spires of a mountain range cutting the sky or the interior of a gilt church, shimmering in rainbows of sunlit glass. The lyrics of “Beauty Underneath” sum up how it feels perfectly for me to be swallowed by a new passion, right down to the feverish tempo that makes my heart race at the thought of being able to just make something new, unfettered by fear or anxiety, to let my imagination run wild and beg of my hands to create what resides in my mind’s eye.

The problem with being so easily-impassioned, especially by music, is that it’s ultimately addictive and I know it’s not good for me to get swept up in something when I have other obligations like school. On the one hand I should’ve known better than to watch Love Never Dies right before classes started up again because POTO has this incredible ability to flip that switch on and tape it there so I can’t shut down the part of my mind/attention that begs to be let loose. On the other hand, I’ve gotten to make some truly amazing things so far by riding that level of creative mania. I wrote like 80k words for a fanfiction I’ve since abandoned (grew out of it and lost general steam because I was dissatisfied with it), I’ve made entire cosplays using nothing but the manic energy provided by the music, and back when I played violin nothing could stop me if I got into the mood. It’s a positive feedback loop unlike any other in my life and as much as I love it, I hate the timing of such bursts and drives. I just started my semester, my final semester I might add, and so distractions are detrimental. I didn’t even move my sewing machine up to my apartment so I wouldn’t have the temptation to procrastinate on school via cosplay.

I feel like I’m starving.

I can’t talk with my parents about it, especially in terms of my latest hobbies. They don’t understand the allure of cosplay beyond a potential money-making business, nor do they understand convention culture. They think going in costume to a Ren Faire is weird, I can’t debate character development or plots with them or tell them about the cool things that English does when it’s not being a fucking trainwreck of a language. Don’t get me wrong, they indulge me and finance my cosplays a lot and listen if it’s clear I’m not gonna stop talking about something, but their eyes glaze over and they don’t pay much, if any, attention to anything after the first 10 seconds. To them, my love of dragons is strange and a remnant of my childhood, my anger at poor character development is a silly response, they don’t see the potential in a dress like I do. They don’t see the beauty in language the way I do, or at least to the extent I do, anyway. They don’t have the need for the beauty underneath, if you will. That all sounds edgy af, I know, but I feel like we’re talking in two different languages, which technically we are in terms of vernacular and subculture, but when I see no visible effort to respond what else am I supposed to think other than they have no care to understand my passions? It’s frustrating, and tbh I’m always a little afraid of going too far into the mania, both for myself and for my friends who’ve seen me get like this before. They understand better and I love them all the more for it, but at the same time I don’t want to frighten them with walls of text waxing poetic about my love for things or make them feel they don’t have a place to contribute or respond because I can’t get my mind to shut up long enough to listen to them. It’s also not healthy averaging 4 hours of sleep in the morning before working like a madwoman at a sewing machine. It’s a flaw that I’m steadily improving upon, and I think making costumes for my friends has helped a lot, because yes I have this crystal-clear image of what I want and think looks lovely, but my comfort and fashion senses are not what will be wearing the finished garment. So it forces me to quiet the part of me that insists it must be done one way so that I can listen to my friends and understand what they want and feel comfortable in. It’s good practice, but it’s hard. It’s gotten easier since I first started forcing myself to slow down and take a breath, but it’s still a struggle.

I’ve added Phantom and Christine to my future cosplay list, because ever since I was young the aesthetic of the Phantom has always appealed to my sense of the dramatic and Gerard Butler’s portrayal of him in the 2004 movie gave me such an appreciation for him as a character and design inspiration. If I could wear suits like that all the time I’d be happy tbh, there’s nothing better than a well-made tuxedo. I’ve drawn an elf dress that’s floated in my mind for months now. I’ve designed 12 garments based on the zodiac. By the time I graduate I’ll probably have walls covered in future outfits or projects I want to undertake. But the problem is that as much as I want nothing more than to drop everything and sew late into the night, only stopping because I fell asleep at my machine or remember to eat for once, I know better and won’t. The problem is that because of my overwhelming desire to make something, not having something to make is making me feel like I’m starving. Listening to music quells the desire somewhat, but it’s very hit and miss for me what kinds of songs will soothe my mind and what ones will inflame me into an even greater need.

Writing this has actually helped a lot because I can actually look and see my thoughts, rather than have the words bouncing around in my head like fucking rubber balls bouncing down a California street. I might yearn for human closeness, that emotional bond that so many have and that I once had but lost, I’m starting to wonder if anything short of raw and unadulterated passion for something will ever be satisfying to me. Romance is more appealing than the concept of sex, but only just, especially when I’m hit with bouts like this. I don’t know why. I see myself in Christine, but I have to wonder if in a way I’m the Phantom seeking an opera house of my own in which to craft masterpieces.

I just need to make something, something grand and beautiful that stimulates my mind and hands and grants me satisfaction to see completed. I want this kind of creative mania to come to me when I’m not burdened by school or work, or at least come at a time when I have more time and space to devote to such extracurriculars. Maybe I should take something strange like a glass-blowing class, take up the violin again, learn piano, get a singing tutor and practice singing again. I don’t know what it’ll take to calm the thunderous nature of my mind when I’m hit with passions like this, I never do. I just need to be able to rein it in enough that I can focus on classwork and hopefully direct some of that passion into my schooling. I’ve done it before, but like sudoku puzzles the answers are always different. I mean this in the best of ways but sometimes I wonder how my friends put up with my nonsense, because I get hit with often wildly-conflicting or rapidly-changing passions. I love them for it, though, and when my moods become truly terrible they’re always there to ground me and put some sense into me, because it’s so hard to come back into myself when I’m angry or excited.

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 8)

AAAAANND WE’RE BACK!

Hello, fronds, apologies for the brief hiatus, but I had to pause the reading/liveblogging because I was busy finishing my novel. YEP, I FINISHED WRITING MY BOOK, WHOOO! And then it was December, and there was Christmas, and traveling, and retail job at Christmas, and Star Wars, and what little time I had to myself I spent chilling because I was exhausted, but ANYWAY, I’M BACK, FRONDS, LET’S GET ON WITH THIS.

Part 8 encompasses pages 557-666 (previous parts) 

whooooops where did I leave off, OKAY INTERLUDES

Why...why are we doing anything near Aimia? Listen: Axies the Collector is cool, but two-thousand-cremlings-in-a-trench-coat was waaayyy too far over the horror line for me. I do not want more of this.

So...there’s a third storm? But this one is stationary and around Aimia?

MORE REASON NOT TO GO THERE

Whoa, that sure is a side effect of Soulcasting... #yikes

Or is it not soulcasting? Is it something Radiant?

Oh fuck. Fine. This is fine. You know, the previous Stormlight books didn’t have this much body horror in them.

Ahh, shit, wasn’t there an Oathgate on Akinah? I don’t want a direct line to  two-thousand-cremlings-in-a-trench-coat.

“the creatures that accompanied the spren” So...like......their Cognitive shadows? the versions of them still in the Cognitive Realm even as bits of them manifest visibly in the physical? Or...something else?

I’m sorry, did they just...die?

What the

What even is Aimia, really?

Mmmkay, actually, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know the secret of Aimia, I am not interested in being EATEN by two-thousand-cremlings-in-a-trench-coat.

Genuis!Taravangian is an asshole. I’m not surprised, I’m just. Stating a fact.

!!!! Are his secretary and the Dustbringer a thing? Are they together? Get it, girls!

I still don’t trust the Dustbringer.

Aslo “the most likely to accept their cause” Why? Is the “cause” like...destroying the world? I don’t remember if we know the Diagram’s endgoals.

...There’s a danger line for the “too smart” end of the sliding scale? Smart.

Also his name is Vargo? Vargo Taravangian? hehehehehe

IT’S NOT ABOUT DESERVE.

I think I hate him.

Dumb question: if Taravangian wants to take over Alethkar--presumably so he can take over the world--then aren’t he and Dalinar working toward the same goal? They both want a unified Roshar. So why kill Dalinar instead of working with him? The logical solution is to work with him, since he’s more charismatic and has a higher chance of actually succeeding, and then kill him off after he’s succeeded in laying the groundwork, and take over from there?

Not that I’m encouraging this, I’m just saying: Taravangian needs to sort out his priorities.

“kill those children” seriously, fuck this asshole, what a douchecanoe.

Also Renarin the wild card HECK YES.

The farming question can be easily answered: Progression.

Not all the Radiants’ powers were battle powers.

“the part of the world that mattered” OH FUCK YOU. That’s not how it works. It’s not about deserve. It’s about having the ability to help, which gives you the responsibility to help. If you can, then you should. No exceptions. No “matters”. Everyone matters. Everything matters. Everyone deserves to be saved.

Except maybe Kylo Ren, but that’s a different story.

Buddy. Odium already made a deal. He wants out of it now. Also he’s not a spren or a god, so why should your pathetic rules hold him?

Oh. Duh. Somehow I didn’t connect Listeners and gemhearts? But of course they do. How else would they bind spren? They infuse their hearts.

Oooohhhhh snap, they done got possessed.

Aw, Venli...things not going your way anymore?

Idk, I should feel bad for her, but I don’t? She brought this on herself. And on her friends. And on her sister, who is still dead. This is her fault.

“The listener gods were not completely sane.” I mean, idk what you expected.

Though, neither are our gods, so I guess we can’t talk.

Seriously, what did Alethkar do to them?

Oh. Wait. Where was Jezrien from? King of the Heralds, right? Prooobably his idea to make the OAthpact? His fault they were bound? That’s probably what Alethkar did to them...

Oooh, the new epigraphs are from the library at Urithiru! Heck ye, Radiant archives!

Though Taln and the Stonewards need to take a chill pill on the self-sacrificing front, apparently.

(Eks would be a Stoneward, pass it on)

Wait, no, hold on--the whole of part three with no Moash pov? But I’m WORRIED about MY BOY.

I’m unnecessarily suspicious of literally every guard that’s not Bridge Four. But particularly of this Rial guy. What is he, Bridge Thirteen? I don’t trust him. At all. He’s too...glib? with Dalinar to be a proper bridgeman. Around other bridgemen, fine, but with Dalinar? I don’t trust it.

I’m with Navani. “The greasy man is...unfitting.”

ooohh, Dalinar...... he “reminds him of friends from the old days.” Tho, bud, how many of those died, betrayed you, or left to become ardents?

Dalinar should know by now to just...not trust people implicitly. Always question.

I really, genuinely can’t imagine how awkward Kaladin and Shallan’s excursion to Theylan City was. Didn’t they fly? Shallan was probably all SCIENCE!! about it and Kaladin was definitely grumpy “let me fly in peace” boy. Nerds.

Sorry, hold on--you’re counting on Kaladin “Impulsive” Stormblessed and Adolin “Disaster Bi” Kholin to make sure Elhokar doesn’t do anything stupid? That’s like asking two kittens to babysit the new puppy.

“I can’t afford to lose you.” AAaaahhh

omg, no, don’t give Kaladin land. What will he do with it? Turn it into the Land of Misfit Bridgecrews?

Five times...so what’s it been, 50 days? Not even? That’s so little time!!

“Or is someone else receiving [the prayers] instead?” ...Isn’t that just the most chilling thought.

There has to be an explanation beyond “The Heralds are nuts” for Shalash to be erasing herself from visual records.

I’m sorry, rockbuds blossom? and have fragrance? Stop and smell the rockbuds?

“I am a diplomat.” Yeah, and I’m a rockbud.

How is Taravangian such a good actor? Or is he really this emotional on days when he’s not a raging asshole of a genius?

Aw yis, non-hereditary monarchy! I love!

“Does it involve punching someone?” It’s Dalinar, so, what do you think?

“Stone-sinew, Herald of Soldiers.” But...Taln’s focus is bone? Ishar is sinew?

I suppose “Stone-bone, Herald of Soldiers” would be a little too ridiculous-sounding...

brb, changing my url to “stone-bone-herald-of-soldiers”

“It was as if Odium had a grudge against this one in particular.” SAD ABOUT TALN FOREVER: THE MEGAN STORY

I s2g Dalinar is the most Extra son of a bitch in all of Roshar.

HOw do I prove I’m not trying to take over your country? I know! I’ll let you stab me through the chest! This is the BEST IDEA.

oooooooo Tension, maybe?

TENSION!! THIS SHIT IS SO COOL OMG

Also his special power--resonance? right?--is listening and that’s delightful. Or...I’m guessing that’s what it is.

Heck ye, Renarin!

“Strength and passion, the Vorin way.” In other words...Honor and Odium....hmm

So it’s Kaladin, Elhokar, Shallan, Adolin, Skar, Drehey, and...who? Some other bridgemen? It’s gonna be a fun roadtrip, tbh.

Buddy, Shallan ignoring her problems IS a problem! Don’t support this impulse! Don’t encourage this!

omg of COURSE Adolin hates flying. Nerd.

“No wisecracks about missing boots?” No, because that wasn’t funny.

“First assess the area for danger, get the lay of the land. Then gawk.” I LOVE MY SON SO MUCH, WHAT A TRAVEL NERD, BUT ALSO #SAME BRO

...we knew that Elhokar had a kid, but every time I’m reminded of it, I get really weirded out. He’s not old enough to be a dad.

PLease meet up with Moash. Please. I’m dying. My crops are failing. My skin is dry. Help me.

the advantage of living through Bridge Four is that you can sleep well anywhere? Well, I mean. I GUESS That’s an advantage. Sort of.

OH of COURSE it’s an Unmade. We do have eight more of those to encounter and deal with.

Whose is this though? Kaladin’s? Or are Elhokar or Adolin finally going to manifest?

(This is assuming that my theory about there being one Unmade for each order of Radiants to defeat is sound.)

Elhokar is trying so hard to be good.

Also Shallan is mean to Kaladin again, news at nine. *rolls eyes*

So, it’s going to be Kaladin’s Unmade then.

Elhokar, you know that the more you tell yourself you’re going to fail, the more likely you will? Stop it. Have confidence.

“Adolin made you want to laugh with him.” Yeah, he doesn’t punch down.

Also, the Kadolin is REAL, and I’m living.

Kaladin really is too good for this world.

I’m sorry, the fancy lighteyes’ gated villas have guards to keep the refugees off their perfectly manicured lawns? Fuck that. Fuck them.

“I needed someone I’d trust with my life, or more. So I brought us to my tailor.” THIS CHILD IS A DISASTER AND I LOVE HIM

Oh snap! we’ve made it halfway through the book!

“Even his voice was adorable.” HONESTLY, people who don’t ship Shadolin: how? It’s so pure and good and supportive and wonderful!

How did Aesudan know the parshmen were voidbringers? And why did she order them killed only to desert the city?

I suppose fabrials do trap and use spren, right? So it makes sense that the yellowgold...voidspren? would be offended by that sort of...I guess, spren enslavement? Sort of? But why are they so concentrated here? Which Unmade is it and what does it do other than corrupt other spren? and influence people.

How To Corrupt Spren and Influence People, a new bestseller by Odium, found in stores near you!

“I am the only one here who has confronted one of the Unmade directly.” Yeah, you, the Kholin bros, and most of Bridge Four who protected you while you did your thing. But sure.

Kaladin, when will you stop seeing your brands as part of yourself and let yourself heal?

Aw, I’m proud of her, admitted Veil is--oh. “They are both equally fake.” Hon, no... please. Talk to someone about this.

Aharietiam, or as I like to call it, “that other stupidly long and impossible-to-pronunce “A”-word.”

Sorry, but the fact that Shallan takes pleasure in pissing Kaladin off-- “he glared at you in the most satisfying of ways” --is really....gross. Uncomfortable. I’m not here for it.

Like, yeah, teasing is fine, but like... if it strays over from teasing into Actively Pushing Someone’s Buttons Just to Make Them Angry, then it’s BAD, okay? It’s really bad. I can say from experience: it’s very bad.

Well, I mean, that explains why no one’s come back from the palace.

“As a connoisseur of things that have killed me...” honestly. what are we up to now? Poison bread. Shipwreck and drowning. Run through with a sword. Dear god, child, you need to be more careful.

Kaladin making bad puns and smiling is giving me life though. Petition for more.

So, the Skybreakers and the Windrunners did not get along? Justice vs. Honor, I suppose...not unexpected. Especially is one is corrupted.

Isn’t Ishar...Bondsmiths? Herald of Luck? Are you sure?

“He is now as mad as the rest. More, perhaps.” Yeah, I got that vibe from Edgedancer.

Shit. Of course he set himself up as a god-king.

(He and the Lord-Ruler should make t-shirts.)

Dangit, Ishar founded the Oathpact, so bang goes that theory about Jezrien and Alethkar and the listeners.

“The Stormfather hated to be misquoted.” Pppfffft.

HECK YE, Bridge Four got a sword!!

Also omg Navani invented alarm clocks. Bless her.

She packed him lunch! BLESS THESE ADORABLE NERDS. God, they are ridiculous.

Dalinar hitching a ride to Azir with Jasnah and her just going, “Byyyeeeeee” and leaving him alone is HILARIOUS to me.

I wonder if the color of the gemstones in the epigraphs correspond to the radiant orders. Like, if the Windruners recorded in sapphire, and the Lightweavers recorded in garnet, etc.

Okay, I went back and checked, and that seems legit. I’m going to guess that’s been #confirmed by people who finished this book earlier than me, but listen.

“covered by a magnificent bronze dome” Lift voice: “boobies” Me: snrk

SPIRITUAL ADHESION!? WTF THIS IS SO COOL

OMG, he brought them an essay, that’s magnificent. Especially because they all had to write essays to apply to be king. Or.. Prime? WHATEVER THAT’S HILARIOUS AND I LOVE AZIR SO MUCH

hello, I love Jasnah, this is news to no one, but girl wrote an essay in rhythmic meter and *melts*

...the Azish parshmen negotiating for pay is...very Azish of them. And the Alethi parshmen gathering for war is very Alethi. And the Theylan parshmen sailing off into the sunset is very Theylan of them.

HA, Dalinar just said the same thing in the next paragraph, go me.

LIFT ATE HIS LUNCH, I LOVE HER, HELLO BBY I’VE MISSED YOU

“The crazy spren who lives in the forest.” 1. I love Lift a lot. 2. uuhhh...we know the Heralds are crazy, and I assumed Odium was crazy, but Cultivation, too?? Is ANYONE here sane anymore?

oh wow they agreed.

didn’t...see that coming. Not with so much book left.

OOOHHH SNAP HE REMEMBERS. HERE WE GO HERE WE GO AAHHHH

Every time I’m reminded that Adolin is only, like, 24yo, I have to tell myself that I was about that old when WoR came out and he’s not actually a child.

Anyway, 12yo Adolin is a gift. “Neat!” this kiddo aahhh

“It was gratifying to see how much one could accomplish in both politics and trade by liberally murdering the other fellow’s soldiers.” PUNK!DALINAR NEEDS TO LOOK AT HIS LIFE AND HIS CHOICES AND RECONSIDER HIS WORD CHOICE AT THE VERY LEAST

hugs are un-Alethi. this is why they have so many issues. they are emotionally constipated from lack of hugs.

“The other son” fuck you, punk!Dalinar

also “she’d never be a great scribe” yeah, that’s ‘cause she’s left-handed, you Vorin jerks

haaaa, he has a point. That even if he and Gavilar know that he wouldn’t ever betray Gavilar for the throne, Gavilar’s advisors aren’t stupid and will find reasons for Dalinar to be...elsewhere.

“Storms, I don’t deserve her, do I?” NO YOU FREAKING DON’T

tbh, I’m not even sure present-day Dalinar deserves her. Like, he’s better now, but he’s still... a soldier. He’s still a strategist. And Evi deserves a soft, gentle person who loves her.

Evi deserves the world, tbh, and I’m Upset because she’s going to die and I’m going to be Sad.