#tbh i almost wrote this for katsuki at first but when i thought about it with sero instead...

[azzo0]

You sat on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone, when you caught your boyfriend approaching you. Shirtless. Seeing Sero hanging around your guys' shared apartment without a shirt wasn't anything new. You were quite used to it, in fact. But it was the look in his eye that made you put your phone down. It's not every time he looked at you like that. 

Half-lidded eyes, head tilted slightly to the side with raven hair falling on his cheek, slow steps, taking his sweet time to walk over to you. You couldn't fight the heat that had crept up your face as he looked down at you from where he stood. He kneeled on the ground, hands on your knees, bringing his face dangerously close to yours, hot breath hitting your lips. He forced your legs apart, settling in between them. 

Your heart raced, and you leaned a little closer, only for him to sit on the floor and turn around so his back was facing you. You looked down at him in confusion as he massaged the back of his neck. 

"Ahh, babe, can you please massage my shoulders?" He asked, "They hurt so much." 

You felt like someone had thrown a bucket of water over you. All that drama, just for a massage? Half-heartedly, you put your hands on his shoulders. 

Sero was well aware of the effect he had on you. He couldn't help but smirk to himself as you gave him a massage. He knew what you wanted, and he was going to give it to you. But only after teasing you a little more <3

[drakenology]

All Yours! - Kirishima Eijiro

“i’m all yours!” 

author’s note: this is pure filth ok? kiri is always written as a gentleman and I wanted to make him a slimey little cheater. tbh it was kinda hot. hope you guys enjoy this.

warnings: smut, angst, infidelity, fluff, fem!reader, phone sex , characters aged up! made up wife yall can give her a name if yall want lmao “she’s” just for the story. 

How can I put this? Sure, I loved my wife. She was with me when I was a nobody. Supported my dreams even when it meant I couldn’t be with her. But I can’t shake this feeling of regret. It’s almost as if I have married the wrong person. We stopped being intimate. She tenses up everytime I approach her. She doesn’t even look me in my eyes. She doesn’t love me anymore, I’m sure. I don’t think I loved her as much as I did when we first met. I was scared to tell her, scared to leave her. To be honest, I think we were both too chicken shit to sign those divorce papers.

Me and Katsuki talk about it all the time. He hypes me up over a few beers and when I get home I just lay dead next to her in bed, a huge wall separating our bodies from each other’s warmth even though we were so close. Our marriage was dying, withering away as we watched it fade. I don’t even bother telling her I’m leaving. I’m sure she has company over to fuck her while I’m gone. I caught her once.

He was amongst the higher ranks of Heros; I’ve seen him around before. He was on top of her, kissing her in the spots I used to kiss her. She seemed to be enjoying herself until I walked in. I was pissed. I pulled that guy off her and my mind went blank. I collect myself as she held me back from him. All I remember is her screaming. 

“It’s over! Don’t you get it!?” The pain in my knuckles snapped me out of it as I listened to her defend a man she hardly knew over me. He was knocked out on the ground, the pig naked and sweaty sporting a new blackeye courtesy of yours truly. I’ll never forget those words. We’ve been cheating on each other since that night. 

Tonight I was going to a bar with Katsuki and Kaminari, who wanted to get a few beers and maybe catch up a little. The both of them were pretty happy in their relationships. I never thought Bakugo would settle down. I’m watching my friends get into new and healthy relationships, while mine finds its impending doom. 

“Cheer up, Eijiro. I’m sure you’ll work up the courage to leave. It’s not working anymore, bro. I can see it in your eyes.” Denki says, taking a sip from his beer. I sigh and nod, only able to impishly agree. I was pretty upset. I spent a lot of good time with her. We made good memories. But it just didn’t work out. What went wrong? What happened? 

Bakugo grumbled about how I need to get over it, “Every woman in this joint would throw their fucking panties at you to have one night fucking a pro hero, don’t you get it? To be honest you should have left her that night you caught her cheating on you with that fucking side kick. Stop bein a coward and get it done.” I looked at him in shock but nonetheless he was right about me being a coward. I’d rather stay with her than try with someone new. Or so I had thought.

Time seemed to freeze when this woman walked into the bar with a few girls I was in the same class with in UA. She was quite possibly the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. She seemed so confident and walked with her head held high. She knew she was hot, and wanted to make sure everyone in the bar knew. She wore this skimpy little dress in red, red lipstick on her full lips to match. Why does she seem so familiar?

She walked by our table, her perfume seeming to lure me towards her to follow her wherever she went. I was drunk and looking for something or anyone to distract me from what was going on at home. It felt wrong but something in me couldn’t resist. I couldn’t help but stare at her long legs in that dress that seemed to hug and squeeze at every curve in her body. I just wanted to grab her and nail her on the nearest surface in this fucking bar. 

“Yo, you’re drooling, dude.” Denki says, waving his hand in front of my eyes. I grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand away from my view. Something about this woman made me want to know more about her. I guess I could start with her name. I stood up from my seat and approached her, telling the guys I’d be right back. My hands got clammy as I got closer. I’m not gonna lie I was nervous as fuck. She was having a conversation with someone at the bar, her head slightly tilted to the side to better hear the person over all the music and outside chatter. I sit on the other side of her and tap her shoulder. 

“Hey. Can I buy you a drink?” I ask. She turned to me and smiled brightly, her teeth almost twinkling. 

“Sure! I’m Y/N. What’s your name?” She shouted over the music. I was a little shocked she didn’t know who I was. It’s hard to even go grocery shopping without being recognized. It was almost refreshing. 

“Eijiro Kirishima.” I say, holding out my sweaty hand to give her a hand shake. She took my hand and shook it, giggling as she noticed the wetness of my palms.

“Nice to meet ya, sweaty hands.” She said teasingly. God she was pretty. It was like no one was here except the two of us. She ordered the drink she wanted and I paid the bartender after we got our orders. We talked for what seemed like hours. It was almost easy with her. She was open and honest. She had nothing to hide and she was real. It’s hard to find that in people nowadays. 

“You’re pretty handsome, sweaty hands. You must have some girlfriend waiting for you to come home tonight, don’t you?” She questioned. I froze, thinking of my wife as I take a big sip of my drink. 

“I’m uh.. actually married. But she and I are separating.” I said, looking down at my drink. 

“Are you just telling me that so I’ll sleep with you? Or are you serious?” She asked, squinting her eyes at me to see if she can detect any lies. 

“I wish I wasn’t serious. I did love her at one point but..” I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling pathetic. I was about to cry in front of a girl I’m trying to fuck. How manly. 

“Hey. You don’t have to explain much more, ok? I understand and I believe you.” She said, her small hand resting on my shoulder in reassurance. I look her in the eyes and smile. Why was she being so nice? 

“Hey, here’s my number. Call me anytime, sweaty hands.” She giggles, kissing me on the cheek. She finished her drink and pulled a pen from her purse. She wrote her number on a napkin and kissed it, leaving a red lipstick kiss on it. Y/N handed it to me and left, swaying her hips as she walked out the door.

Fuck.

“She was HOT! Way to go, Kirishima!” Denki said, surprising me. He pats my back and orders another round of beers for me and Bakugo, who was cheering me on back at the table. We sit for a while and go home a few hours after. I call an uber being that I’m too drunk to drive. When it gets to me, I get in and take the number out of my pocket to lock it in my phone. Should I even be considering this? 

Fuck it. 

I text her. I couldn’t wait to talk to her. 

“Hey sweaty hands. Took you long enough to text me.” She texted. I could almost hear her voice through the text as I text her back with shaky hands. 

“What are you doing?” I text, sitting back in the seat. She doesn’t respond for a while until I’m about to get out of the car. 

“3 Attachments.” The message read. I nearly fall over at the thought of what those attachments are. I unlock my front door and sneak back inside. My wife was already asleep, thank god. I couldn’t take her nagging when I was out late. I go to our room and sit on the bed, opening her message. God. She was naked with a blanket covering her more intimate bits. She was laying in bed, her nipples poking through the thin blanket as she pulled her features into a lewd look. She looked so good. 

“Thinking of you.” She said. My pants grow tight as I think of what she looks like under that blanket, my mind trailing to all the dirty things I’d do to her. How pretty she’d be with my dick in her little mouth. What was she doing to me? I send her a text back, 

“You’re such a tease.” I feel my wife stir in bed as I slowly try to climb in without waking her. I sigh as she turns back over and goes back to sleep, turning my attention back to my phone. 

“I want you, Eijiro. I wanna help you forget all about her.” She texted sending me another sultry image. “She won’t please you like I can.” I gulp and get up from my bed and rush to the bathroom. 

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.. I wanna show you.” She texted, tempting me to risk it all. I facetime her without thinking. Fuck I hope my wife’s still sleeping. Y/N answers, already naked and spread out on camera for me. Dirty girl. God she looked heavenly. She wore nothing but these pink thigh high socks

“I’m so wet for you, Kiri. I want you so bad.” She whined, playing with her wet folds teasingly as if she was waiting for me to tell her what to do. I practically drooled at the sight of her so lewd like this for me, her face full of desire for a man already taken. This wrong feeling just felt so right. 

“Don’t be shy, love. Show me how you please yourself.” I said, my cock twitching in anger at the lack of attention. I licked my lips as I watched her finger her pretty pussy for me, her sweet moans filling my ears as I completely forget about everything around me. I could watch her fuck herself all day. 

“Kiri- I-I wish you were here. You’d do a much better job than me- ah!” she whined, adding another finger inside her needy little hole. I pull out my cock and start to stroke it feverishly, wishing her pussy was wrapped around me instead. 

“Yeah?” I huffed, Y/N moaning in response. I pant as I stroke myself, enamored by this woman spread out before me. I can’t wait to really taste her. 

“I’m all yours, Eijiro! Whenever you want me. Ughhh god, I can’t wait to have y-you.” She mewls, her pace quickening.

I smirk and follow her movements, mimicking her rhythm to at least simulate the feeling of her pretty pussy wrapped around me. Her moans rang in my ears, the sound of her wetness squelching around her fingers as she fucked herself open for me. I pant, feeling close to cumming all over myself as I watched her legs start to shake, a sign that she herself was close too.

“Fuuuuck, Ah! I-I’m g-gonna cum for you, Kiri. Please let me cum.. please?” She begged, the sound nearly broke me. The fact she was begging me to let her cum as if I owned her really turned me on. I huff, holding myself back further as I sweat profusely.

“G’head, baby. Cum for me. Let me hear you.” I pant desperately, wanting to let go myself. And she did, her pathetic little screams echoing in my ears like a symphony. I cum just about the same time she does, my seed spilling all over my hand and lower stomach. I hear her cooing praises at me as I moan and gasp for air in front of her.

“Mmm, I wanna lick that up for you, daddy. You’re so big.” She said, licking her lips at the sight of me. I sigh in relief, telling her how gorgeous she is as I clean myself up. She stood up and grabbed her phone, winking as she told me,

“I guess this is to be continued, huh?”

[kiegosbby]

Thank you for responding so fast! Could you do a bakugo(or midorya either is good) x reader fic where reader gets pregnant, then decides to leave before her s/o finds out. She leaves without a trace and only a few if any people know where she is. A few years down the line and her now former s/o stumble upon each other while she has the kid with her. Id like a better ending but do what you want!!!! I love your writing 'positive it'll be amazing!! sorry if this is oddly specific!

OH MY GOODNESS. First I love the idea! tbh I love any kind of angst of any sort so 🥰🥰 second, we simply would never do that to midorya, so bakugo angst it is. I’ll make it a good ending since most my stories are bad endings. I can’t leave you guys sad so this is for y’all 😊😊 thank you for the support !!

may we meet again.

Bakugo x f!reader

warnings: panic attack, angst, and a lot of crying

✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

it was a cold night, turning from fall to winter.

you had been feeling off lately, but nothing out of the normal. but what had really set your nerves off was when you started having morning routine puke sessions.

your brain has been ruining wild. with bakugo competing to become top hero he would never have time for a child. he wouldn’t be able to be the father you wanted him to be. you knew what you had to do, but the difficult part was doing it.

first you had to make sure you were pregnant. you finished your shift at your daytime job. which you had took to not go insane waiting for him to come home, you went to a nearby drugstore and bought a test. you rushed home to take it before bakugo got home.

you entered your house, you were nervous, you were shaking badly. You were letting your nerves get the best of you. what if you weren’t pregnant and you were just overreacting? you and bakugo would be fine.

you walked into the bathroom, and quickly peed on the stick, set it on the counter and waited for it to decide your fate.

you sat down on the cold tile floors and waited, thinking of all the possibilities that could happen. if you weren’t pregnant you and bakugo could be happy, he could focus on becoming number one hero, and you could be there to help him. but if you were pregnant you’d have no choice but to leave. he doesn’t need a burden like that to keep him from being the hero he wanted to be. you didn’t even know if bakugo wanted kids. he didn’t seem like a family kinda guy. you were scared shitless.

you cleared your head and looked up at the counter, it had definitely been longer then needed. you reached up slowly grabbing the test. You faced it away from you until you were settled on the tile again.

you slowly turned it around, sucking a deep breath in and holding it.

there was two lines. you were fucked.

you started hyperventilating, this was the worst case scenario. what were you going to do? you couldn’t breathe you gasped trying to get air in but nothing was happening. tears were streaming down your face, and you shoved the test in your pocket, going outside to try and get air, you needed something something to get you out of this state.

you went outside and the cold air hit your lungs and it felt like millions of needles. Your breathing slowed down and you were calming down now. until you heard the door open. fuck.

bakugo walked in, two take out bowls of ramen in his hand, and he had a smile on his face. you couldn’t leave now, you can’t break him like that.

you quickly wiped your tears before taking a few deep breaths, and preparing yourself to go into the house and face your lover.

you walked inside trying to act normal, and you almost broke when he pulled you into a tight hug and gave you a quick kiss. maybe you could stay and raise it together, be happy.

your mood started to lighten until you both sat down and started talking about how work was.

“I raised a rank today baby! Isn’t that so exciting? I’m going to be working a few more hours so I hope you don’t mind do you?” he had a smile on his face, how could you ruin this? you couldn’t. you had to follow along.

you smiled “of course baby, I’m so excited for you. And working a few more hours wouldn’t help me at all” you put your hand under the table, pinching yourself to stop yourself from crying. biting back the tears, you finished your meal quickly and sat on the couch. Just wanting to relax and enjoy these last few moments.

bakugo came and sat down next to you, pulling you into his lap cuddling you. you let out silent tears and burned the feeling into your body.

the next day as bakugo got ready for work, you stayed by his side and touched him as much as you can, making him look weird at you.

“what’s wrong baby? your acting weird” he said and pulled you in a tight hug thinking you just needed extra attention.

“im gonna miss you katsuki that’s all” you mumbled trying to hold everything back as long as you could.

“I’ll be home soon princess don’t worry, I have a short day today I shouldn’t be long.” he kissed your forehead and grabbed his stuff to walk out the door.

“bye I love you princess” He said and with that he left.

you quickly gathered everything you needed, some clothes your toiletries and anything else you needed.

you quickly took a piece of paper and wrote bakugo a quick note.

‘bakugo, I’m sorry for how this had to end. I love you but this is for the best.

may we meet again. ‘

you shakily put the note down and grabbed your bag and left.

~time skip 4 years later~

after you left, you moved to America. leaving your life behind you tried to move on only telling a couple of your friends.

you had given birth on Halloween and had a beautiful baby boy. you named him suki. the nickname his father had. You wanted to remember him somehow.

you and suki had to move back to Japan, you had a huge work promotion and couldn’t deny it. you were scared that you would see him, and he would take your son away. you had coke something so horrible, and you wish you could take it back. Maybe his reaction would have been different then you thought. maybe he would have expected you.

you looked the same as you did the day you left. nothing had changed. Your son looked like bakugo, and it honest scared you. His hair, his eyes, everything. The only thing he got from you was his nose. so if bakugo saw you and your son, you were utterly screwed.

you and suki were walking through the park, it was a bright day and you thought it was a perfect day to go for a walk.

you and suki sat down at a bench and he laid his head in your lap looking up at the clouds. you closed your eyes and smelled the air.

“y-y/n?”

your eyes shot open and fear ran through your body.

“bakugo?” you said nervously, he was wearing his hero costume and looked like he was on patrol.

“Mommy look it’s ground zero!” your son jumped off your lap and ran towards him, pushing his arms out.

“I have a quirk like yours! I want to be a hero like you one day!” suki said happily, finally getting to see his idol.

“oh is that right little kid? show me your quirk” bakugo crouched down going eye level with your son.

he stuck his arm out and sparks flew from his hand “isnt it so cool! Mommy said that I’m going to be in a hero course!” your son was so happy, you hated that you took him away from this.

“Suki why don’t you let me talk to ground zero for a second come sit on the bench and wait for mommy” he went and sat down at the bench waiting for you

“I can explain jus-“

“explain! Explain why you have a fucking kid who looks exactly like me??” he was whisper yelling. trying not to disturb your son.

“the day before I left, I found out I was pregnant and I didn’t want to stop you from accomplishing your dreams to become a hero so I did what I thought was best and left.. I regret it everyday.” you started crying softly and avoided eye contact. you were embarrassed. you felt so stupid.

“Y/n listen to me. no matter what I want you in my life. I wish we could go back and change it but please let me be in your guys life. I’m a mess without you I need you. I want to get to know him and be a great dad for him please” he was begging at this point you were shocked, you thought he would hate you not want to see you not want anything to do with you but this? This is more than you could ever want

“Bakugo i would love a second chance. I would do anything to be like how we used to.” He stared to tear up, you’ve never seen him liek this before.

“I missed you so much” he pulled you in for a hug, wrapping his arms around you never wanting to let you go.

“I missed you to” your son got up, and ran over to the both of you.

“yay mommy we’re giving hugs!” He ran and hugged both of your legs.

you closed your eyes, hoping this moment would never end.



[savnofilter]

I think you're hilarious in such a good way and Im new to Tumblr. Your work is amzing and i was wondering if you have any bnha blog recommendations or must read fics?

WARNING! this gets long as SHIT. so im sorry. im on mobile so liek,, also there are shit ton of amazing writers on here but my memory has been terrible as of recently, so sorry about that. all the people mentioned have really good fics so going through their masterlist is the bes option i have on here for you!! also sorry this was so late, i did a lot of username checking and now finally got the balls to post this with their @s cnuidwneovn- also!! be mindful because i was iffy in tagging some because i wasnt too sure if they wrote for bnha anymore. so w/o further adieu!!!now for my fave ao3 fics (with no ranking)~

His Tryanny by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)

au: fantasy

summary: “Deep in a land just like in the fairy tales, lives 4 different kingdoms. But when a hot headed king of one kingdom wants to take over, he seeks for more power. A girl locked away in a tower for her entire life because of her forbidden power, finds a new life when an ash blonde male comes flying through her window. How will their life play out?”

my thoughts: FUCKINGT AMAZING BOOK LIKE I FUCKING STAN. TT its so fucking good! the angst, the tension, angry bloody bakugo?! fucking check! amazing book!! 12/10 will always recommend. mc will say “million reasons” i be like “his tyranny tho, 👀” (and other books but we have to appreciate my highness rq).

completed: yis!

My Angel by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)

au: greek mythology

summary: “The infamous fallen angel, serving under Hades (AFO), Bakugou Katsuki, was known for constantly wreaking havoc within heaven. Defying against God and other deities, he was blacklisted from Heaven. (l/n) (y/n) being an elite archangel under Athena (Miruko), is set on a mission to rid of Bakugou Katsuki but takes a 180 when you sudden began developing feelings for the crooked angel during the confrontation – him reciprocating the feelings. Though relationships between a worker of God and a demon was the greatest sin, and faced consequences to those who are caught. ~ Having to sneak around and hide your relationship with the fallen angel how would an archangel keep her status under God while simultaneously keeping an accursed romantic affair.(sorry i suck at summaries lmao)”

my thoughts: you know, i just have a craving to live a life in greekish-mythologyish and reading lore of olympus makes it partly redeemed. but this takes the cake. LIKE?! oh my fucking god! absoluetely love and im still reading it cause im slow asf but its so good so far! and she doesnt at all, the summaries are what got me interested!!

completed: neh~

I’m Broken Too (Shigaraki x Reader x Dabi) by Kikyo851 (quotev; kikyo851/tumblr; @heroes-among-us-all)

au: canon

summary: “What’s a girl to do when she can’t quite make it as a hero? Become a villain, of course.”

my thoughts: okay so youre thinking, “that summary is short asf” but godtdamn the book is motherfucking good dawg. lieke,,, this absolutely fueled my villain spark way back whenever. (you can gladly thank this book and all the dabi fics from @lord-explosion-baku, who also has a book called “thorns” which is also on ao3. i havent read it because im not into that au but it has many good reviews!!)

completed: neh~

Million Reasons by Chub_Rye (other socials; not listed)

au: future canon (?)

summary: “This is not a happy story, you really wished it was but how can it be when your marriage is falling apart. You truly love your husband, the thing is…he doesn’t seem to feel the same anymore ((Trigger warning: this is a very emotional heavy story, you have been warned.)) Inspiration: Million Reasons by Lady Gaga”

my thoughts: 

*if i had the time i would edit to: “im fucking sobbing fam”* because this shit hurtedt. like, HURTEDT. this book, this very book is the reason why fucking katsuki fucking bakugo slapped down the damn rankings on my list. didnt fucking like him for like two weeks, just thinking about him made me mad as FUCK. but its written so good i cant be mad?! i… okay moving on before i start crying and listing reasons why katsuki needs to CHOKE in this damn book. also if you dislike deku then this story will change. you.

completed: neh~

Muted by HecateSG (other socials; not listed)

au: canon

summary: “A collection of short one-shot stories where the reader has lost the ability to speak due to an incident that ranges from accident, to intentional, which now leaves you in the care of at least one of this dashing and intrepid cast of characters. There will be a variety of scenario’s explored and kinks touched upon for all you curious depraved little ones. ~ The only thing these all have in common is that the Reader will remain almost exclusively quiet the entire time ~ The tags will be updated as more chapters are released.”

my thoughts: this is a one-shot book (no cohesive storyline unless chosen) but its so good. so good. i thought shigaraki, dabi and all might in one book was interesting but never the less, super good! i never was interested in the mute concept but its written good? (but thinking about it all the other mute!reader fics are good but they wont nsfw so it didnt interest me-) furthermore, its so good. so pure. so hot. 11/10 would recommend.

completed: neh~

Nightclub AU by sour_pink29 (tumblr; @heros-amoung-us)

au: well… nightclub

summary: “U.A. is the most prestigious and well known nightclub in the world. It takes a high price and a creditable reputation to attend the club, but only because it makes your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. The workers are the best of the best: the 1A class; with the sexiest dancers, flirtatious waitresses and waiters, master bartenders, and high class security. It’s truly no wonder why the rich and famous travel from all corners of the world to have one special night at U.A. ~ As a waitress at the club, you were used to dealing with rich, handsome, high maintenance bachelors. But when 6 mysterious men enter the club and your life, you feel something different spark between you and them as they turn your life on it’s head. For better or for worse… ~ AU where you and the 1A class (and some other characters) are workers at the club. Kaminari, Kirishima, Katsuki, Shoto, Tetsu, Izuku, and Sero are all competing for your attention. ~ WILL INCLUDE NSFW IN SOME CHAPTERS ;)”

my thoughts: THGIS BOOK FUCKIN SLAPS. HANDS DOWN WOULD TOOT MY ASS UP FOR THIS! (thought about dropping my studies and just fucking doing stripper work-) like wow… its a good book and the writer was prob one of the first wirters i followed on here?! (thats if tumblr didnt fucking remove my damn following like it usually does. ._.) enough about that, its really good. i think about it often.

completed: neh~

Plus Ultra! One-shots and Requests by MistressPikachu (FinalVolition) [tumblr; @adelheidvonschicksal]

au: varies

summary: “A place to store all my smaller drabbles for BNHA. NSFW and SFW requests CLOSED!”

my thoughts: um so she write for *everything* but not like everything, everything. so sometimes it be like a red flag so make sure you are reading it carefully on the story you click on! personally, since theyre a good asf writer i usually dip my toe in all of them but sometimes i just cant but the ones i can, i read over and over and over again. worth a million reads tbh. 12/10 would recommend if youre nasty like that (and i KNOW you guys are).

completed: neh~

slutty one shots by cherrykwrites (tumblr; @cherrykwrites)

au: varies

summary: “Collection of some slutty short scenarios. Mostly Bakugo, could include other characters too. ~ Everything will be NSFW in this collection. ~ Themes like non con, underage, alcohol, bdsm, daddy kinks, ect could occur in these writings. ~ These are purely works of fiction and do not reflect reality, I do NOT condone any of the immoral actions written in these.”

my thoughts: so of course i could not leave the og, the real home slice, cherry-mother-k-fuckin-writes- CAN WE CLAP FOR THE QUEEN? so essentially, her shit is good asf. you should read it cause its good asf. shes not around that much but she def is really good! (also has my thinking about writing some tattoo artist!bakugo these days, or even a series for my husbandos…). never thought about sandwhiched between kirishima and bakugo until i came across her fics~

completed: neh~

Euphoria - NSFW Series by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)

au: varies

summary: “Just a bunch of BNHA characters involved in several different kinks with you. ~ Summary of first chapter: ~ “Katsuki…”That mewl you made was hard to hear but somehow it reached Midoriya’s ears and he gulped as he saw said man standing up from the ground in front of you. A smirk as wide as it can be with his tongue brushing the corners of his mouth as if he just finished eating the best meal of his life.————————- Basically, Midoriya is in for a emotional ride lol”

my thoughts: they are such a good writer. another one-shots book but they will appear once again on the list but this book is just beautiful. and im a perv. so. have fun.

comepleted: neh~

⚠️okay so this is a series of fics from one writer, but instead of making a shit ton on the list (because if this isnt long already) its by the user QuillMind (tumblr; @quillmind) here are some of my faves:⚠️

Incendiary ~ a/b/o, “Mating season has come yet again. Bakugou has even more trouble controlling it than in previous years… and it’s all your fault.”

Mating Hunt ~ a/b/o, “You and Bakugou have been together for some time. Though you both know you only want each other, your bond won’t truly be permanent and known to all until he claims you during mating season. And as impatient as Bakugou is, as an Alpha, he loves a good chase. You decide to give him one.”

Story Time - A Reader x BNHA Multific by WhenSarahSmiles (tumblr; @makethiscanon)

au: fairytale/storybook/canon-ish

summary: “Whilst fighting a powerful villain, you find yourself sucked into the world their quirk created with no memories of your old life. Yet, the men you meet along the way have a familiar feel to them. Perhaps they can help you unlock your memories? ~ A Hero Academia/Fairy Tale mash up, there’s plenty of chaos to follow even if you think you know the classic stories well. ~ [Warning: Explicit Content from chapter 3 onwards] ~ [I will warn you which chapter features the non-con]] ~ “

-> Story one: Little Red Riding Hood (Katsuki Bakugou x Reader)-> Story two: The Little Mermaid (Shouto Todoroki x Reader)-> Story three: Jack and the Beanstalk (Eijirou Kirishima x Reader)-> Story four: The Three Little Pigs (Denki Kaminari x Reader)-> Story five: Sleeping Beauty (Shouto Todoroki x Reader x Katsuki Bakugou)-> Story six: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (Midoriya, Tokoyami, Sero, Monoma, Ojiro, Shinsou x Reader)

my thoughts: bitch i have no thoughts. i only have THOTS. this is a masterpiece, like ive been lacking, the one im on rn is the kirishima one and it worth the read, and i bet the ones after that have been just as amazing! amazing work 11/10 would recommend.

completed: neh~

Wolves Among Us (Mini Series) by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)

au: fantasy

summary: “Something about watching him lick your chilled skin was stirring something within you. Your legs started to shiver, but not of the cold that surrounded your slightly exposed body but of a feeling blossoming in the inner regions of your lower stomach. You were getting lost in the rhythm of his pants, wandering in the hazy want of his intense eyes. Your breath began to tremble, and you tried to squeeze your legs together to withstand the odd sensation growing, but he held your leg still and showed no signs of letting go. You were suddenly aware of his hand on your lower thigh, and you noticed that it was the first time a man’s hand had touched there. ~ You were a flower that had yet to bloom in the late of spring. Pure, untouched and suddenly, bombarded with desires. You never shivered in the way a man could make you, and curiosity—maybe naivety, was keeping you from your fear of the beast. —————– Basically, you fall in love with a rude wolf man. ~ Mini series!! Werewolf!Bakugo x Human!Reader, Fantasy AU ~ Inspired by The Company of Wolves by Angela Carter”

my thoughts: i ride this books ASS for updates. my favourite bakugo au’s are fantasy (wit da dragoons) and were!katsuki (haluween). i fucking love it, i love their works. theyre busy with school (like i should be but scholars are all different-) trust me its so good. it has that good spice that make fill my heart with sexy uwuwuwuwuwuwuwus. love it.

completed: neh~

Katsuki Bakugo Scenario Collection by Hvalross (tumblr; @cutesuki–bakugou)

au: varies

summary: “A collection of oneshots and scenarios I’ve done for Bakugou, both personal works and requests on my blog Cutesuki-Bakugou. ~ Please note that the rating of each story will be in the notes of the chapter. Stories range from TEEN to EXPLICIT.”

my thoughts: oh my god. i reread this one chap over and over and over and over and over and over- and over again. the stories range from cute to just good smut and its so good. so beautifully written. and i cant help but just appreciate it. love it sm. (also sorry if i tagged the wrong tumblr im confsued as to which one you use ahaha)

completed: neh~

Wish the World Away by hoshigalaxy (other socials; not listed)

au: canon

summary: “bakugou katsuki is the number one hero. but with this title comes a huge target on his back. sometimes it’s better to stay single when you’re a pro hero. there could be accidents. ~ but that’s three years in the past now and bakugou is slowly moving on from what’s happened. that is until he runs into his mysterious new neighbour and things get complicated again.”

my thoughts: ;-; this one hits different. almost like a million reasons type of different. i dont want to spoil it but godt damn man. there is so much to be uncovered but it really hasnt been updated. (cri) its a beautiful book tho. fingers crossed for when it updates next.

completed: neh :

Up in Smoke. (Soulmate AU) by Grapelimeade (tumblr; @gojirabbit)

au: well,, soulmate

summary: “Bakugou doesn’t want a fucking soulmate.”

my thoughts: may i say…it is such a stark contrast to Million Reasons. it is so fucking captivating i will not shit you. this book, is amazing. im just saying, that midoriya scene tho,, 👀 that kirishima friendship,, 💪🏽 its so good…? got me panting for the next chap (and no not like that weirdos but there is nsfw because when tf do you catch me reading a fic without nsfw…?) but i recommend. mc: million reasons tho me: up in smoke tho-

completed: neh~

Vermilion by Morgana_Ren (tumblr; @morgana-ren)

au: canon

summary: “Tomura Shigaraki had a goal. It started out simple enough. Kill All Might, and watch the society that revered heroes above all else crumble to dust alongside their idol. However, what originally starts off as a chance encounter with a UA student during the battle of USJ sends him reeling down the crooked path of obsession.”

my thoughts: its just…? my shigaraki thirst was sparked from this very story. it good, supplies my shifty hands needs and it suffices the boiling lust in my clit. wish we’d see more cause i love it already and it blends the story line well. love it. 11/10

completed: neh~

words hurt [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader] by QueenExplosionMurder (tumblr; @strawberryandspiceandchocolate)

au: canon

summary: “*more tags to be added* ~ when Bakugo Katsuki friendzones the reader, their friendship takes a nose dive off of the face of the earth and he doesn’t hear from her for a while. that is until she is suddenly thrown back into his life, quite literally actually…”

my thoughts: well you think i can go a post without tagging my president? youre fucking wrong. i have actually posted my own prev of her book which you can find here. i am just astonished at well the mood is (because tb when all i would talk about is mood) because mood is just good. it doesnt seem cliche to me. cant wait until the next update.

completed: neh~

You and Yamada by Jo_Rutherford_Lee (other socials; not listed)

au: varies

summary: “Just a few short Present Mic/Reader PWPs I needed to get out of my head.”

my thoughts:

i love this book. couldnt find the yamada book i was looking for but i would be lying if this doesnt revive my yamada love every once in awhile. (jk i found the book but this one is really cute and a quick read!!)

completed: yis

Singed Rose Petals: (Alpha) Dabi x (Omega) Reader by Smutsy (other socials; not listed)

au: a/b/o

summary: ““The villains were always ugly in books and movies. Necessarily so, it seemed. Because if they were attractive - if their looks matched their charm and their cunning - they wouldn’t only be dangerous. They would be irresistible.” - Nenia Campbell”

my thoughts: ohhhh because you guys thought that i’d go through a post without mentioning dabi? LOL so,, this book has brought many many many happy coochie tingles to me. i would murder to be dabi’s omega. and DAS on baby. never was really interested in a/b/o stuff till i read this. love it so much 11/10.

completed: yis

special mentions:

BNHA Brothel by orphan_account [multiple, unfinished]

Hero Killer’s Charge by VulcanCaptain [stain x reader, unfinished]

Mouth Moods by Koalolive (twitter; renlup) [present mic, unfinished]

and god please dont fucking roast me i had a hawks faze. Birb Office for Birbs by insanityrunsinthe_family

[onyxiana-is-obsessed]

Resurrection | Katsuki Bakugou x Reader x Shouto Todoroki

AN: Ok, so I wrote this a while ago, and tbh I still don’t like how it turned out, but it's so much better than what I hard originally. This is another Soulmate AU, where your soulmate’s name is written on your wrist. Length: 7.7k Pronouns used: She/her

Warnings: TodoBaku so polyamory, and mentions of blood... like a lot, I describe wounds in detail, a dead person uses their quirk! 

Summary: Soulmate AU; your soulmate’s name is written on your wrist. You, Bakugou, and Todoroki are the lucky three with two names on your wrists. You refused to come to them, until the universe took charge.

Name: (f/n) (l/n) Quirk: Resurrection; the user cannot die before their intended time, if they do, they will be resurrected. However, when it is their time to go, nothing can save them. Age: 26

Everyone in the world is born with a name on their left wrist, that name belongs to their soulmate. On extremely rare occasions, one can have two names, the second being on the right. That was the case for Katsuki Bakugou and Shoto Todoroki. The two had met each other on the first day of school, when they attended UA. There, they learned each other's names and were shocked to find each other so early. However, that day, at Bakugou's house, Todoroki revealed that he was, in fact, one of the few people on Earth with another name on his wrist.

~Flashback~

"Bak- sorry. Katsuki," Todoroki started, correcting himself. "I have to tell you something."

"Go ahead." Todoroki inhaled before speaking.

"On my right wrist... I have another name." This caught the ash blond's attention. He immediately perked up from his position on the bed and moved towards Todoroki.

"Wh-what? Let me see it!"

"Sure." Todoroki removed his uniform jacket and held out his right arm, revealing the other name on his wrist. Bakugou's eyes almost popped out of his head as he quickly removed his jacket and showed Todoroki his own wrist.

"I-it's... the same name..." His soulmate stuttered out. In neat cursive, there was a name on their right wrists. (Y/f/n).

~End of Flashback~

For years, the two had searched for her. When they were in school, whenever they got a chance, they asked about her. They had even tried to talk to some of the pro-heroes but no one recognized the name.

Once the two, themselves, had become pro heroes, they decided to go searching once again. They had an extended vacation coming up and they decided to spend it searching for their missing piece. The day before their vacation, there was a villain attack. It was at a nearby mall, there was an explosion. Bakugou, Todoroki, and Midoriya were called to the scene where they searched for the villain.

There were multiple villains but the top three pro heroes were able to fight them with ease. As they were evacuating the civilians, there was another explosion, worse than the original. It was followed by three more, destroying the mall completely.

The trio worked as fast as they could, but in the distance, they saw a large chunk of a building fall and land on a girl.

"NO!" The three screamed as they ran towards her. Unfortunately, more pieces fell and they were blocked off. The three could do nothing but wait, while help arrived. The paramedics were here, the firefighters were helping put out the fires, and the three felt completely useless. Deku was told if he used his quirk to move the boulders, he might make the situation worse and potentially kill the girl, who was still, thankfully, alive under the rubble.

It had been around five minutes, which felt like an eternity to the three heroes, when help arrived and they slowly moved the rubble away. While they waited, both Todoroki and Bakugou felt a stinging pain in their right wrist. They both looked at each other as they removed their gloves to check. Bakugou had to take his arm gauntlet off and the two watched in horror as the name, that used to be an opaque shade of black, was now fading.

"No..." Todoroki muttered, his gaze shooting back at the rubble. "Th-that's her?"

"What's wrong you two?" Deku inquired, looking at his friends.

"That's (f/n)! Sh-she's in there!" Most of their friends knew of the other name on their wrist since they had ended up asking everyone they could, so Deku knew that name well. It was the name of their second soulmate, one they both shared.

"Oh no!" The green-haired male leaned over and noticed as the names started fading. "Th-that means... she's dying!"

It was true. When the large chunk landed on (f/n), she fell face down, a metal bar that supported the cement block impaling her torso. The longer they waited, the more she bled out. Currently, under the rock, she was also losing oxygen. She could no longer feel her fingertips and feet, her head was fuzzy, and the excruciating pain in her torso was indescribable.

Due to the dust, the girl would cough, and the coughing only added to the pain. Tears slipped from her cheeks as she looked up at her wrists, that she had out in front of her. On her right wrist was 'Shouto Todoroki' and on her left wrist was 'Katsuki Bakugou'.

"I-I'm sorry..." She choked out, as she felt blood push through her throat. She coughed and spit it out to the side, laying her head back on the ground. Her hair stuck to her face, surrounding her mouth and nose, making it harder to breathe, but she felt too weak to move it away.

As (f/n) laid there, she thought back on her life. She hadn't made a mark, she hadn't done anything in life. She was just a quirkless loser who worked at a well-known cafe. She was going to school... but she wasn't done. She was gonna die and no one was going to remember her. She let the tears fall and shut her eyes as the pain took over. Her breathing became heavier and more ragged. She wasn't going to make it out. Her eyes opened as she heard a voice yelling through the rocks. It was muffled... but she could kind of understand it.

"(F/N)! WE'LL GET YOU OUT! WE PROMISE!" Was that right? She blinked as the lack of oxygen hit her hard. Her blood has soaked her entire outfit, coming all the way up to her chin. She tilted her head up and looked at the names, before the light drained from her eyes. Another quirkless nobody wiped from the planet.

Outside, all three heroes were now pulling the boulders off, trying to get the girl free. Finally, one of the helpers managed to get a large chunk that was right in front of her face.

"HERE!" He called. Deku immediately used his quirk and pushed the biggest piece off, throwing it against the other rubble. Both Bakugou and Todoroki's eyes widened as they watched her name disappear completely off their wrists.

"No!" They ran to her. She was laid out, chest down on the ground, her face covered with her hair. They saw the large metal bar that was still in her torso, they saw the blood that drenched her clothes and covered the floor. But most importantly, they saw her wrists. She had them crossed over each other, her left was facing up, where Bakugou's name was. The ash-blond reached down and moved her wrist, revealing her right, where Todoroki's name was.

"Sh-she... she was ours too..." Bakugou breathed. Both he and Todoroki removed the metal bar and turned the (figure) framed girl around. They sat on either side of her and lifted her up. Their eyes widened at her beauty, but tears welled up when they saw her dull, lifeless, (e/c) eyes. The two caressed her face as the tears slipped out.

"We failed, Sho." Bakugou cried. "We failed her..." The dual-haired male nodded as he wiped his face, sighing as he looked up at the bright sky. It felt like a nightmare. Just... just a nightmare.

"Sh-she needed us... and we couldn't save her." The two didn't get much time with her, since she had to be taken away. While she was put in a body bag and placed to the side while the officers gathered any other casualties. So far, there were none, just her.

On the side, all three pro-heroes were being questioned, neither Bakugou nor Todoroki wanted to deal with it, but they had to. While they were talking, they were clueless about what was happening. (f/n) did have a quirk, one that was completely useless to her in every situation except this. Her quirk was called Resurrection. It was rare, one in a billion.

Since the body bag was opaque, the light that healed her wasn't visible. The two broken-hearted males didn't even notice or feel the name reappear on their wrists. (f/n)'s dull (e/c) slowly shone with life and she blinked, slowly coming to. She tried to move, but her body was constricted... what was holding her? She couldn't breathe... she couldn't breathe! Not again!

Her heart sped up when she realized she was stuck in a bag. She tried to push it open, but it wasn't working. Panic set in and she let out the loudest, most terrifying, blood-curdling scream she could muster, her arms and legs flailing about wildly.

The heroes immediately turned to face the scream and everyone froze. Their eyes widened as they saw her body bag moving- she was begging for help. Bakugou and Todoroki ran to her, practically tearing the bag open and watched as the girl screamed and covered her eyes with the bag of her hands. The sun was high in the sky, blinding her. They both saw their names on her wrist and took the wrist that belonged to them.

"You're ok." They breathed, unable to believe what had happened. There was no way, but here she was. She opened her eyes and they saw the life behind them, tears spilling from their own.

"Wh-who..." She trailed off as the two males kissed the back of her hands.

"I'm Katsuki Bakugou."

"And I'm Shouto Todoroki." They introduced and watched as her beautiful (e/c) orbs widened. "You're (y/f/n), right?" She gave them a wordless nod and they helped her stand. She stood and looked down noticing that she was covered in blood. As she took a step out of the body bag, her knees buckled but the two males supported her as they walked her to the ambulance.

For the time being, it was unclear to everyone what had occurred. The paramedics wasted no time as they started to check her vitals, but everything was ok. They even inspected her wound, which was no longer there, there wasn't even a scar left. She was... fine.

Once the medics concluded she was ok to go home, the two men approached her once again. They offered to drive her home, to which she accepted. They had to walk to the agency nearby, where Todoroki let her borrow his clothes, since his hero costume wasn't as... flashy as Bakugou's.

As the three walked to Todoroki's car, the girl voiced her concerns. She had realized that her purse was missing, therefore, she didn't have any keys to get into the house with.

"My purse..." She started as she looked at the two males. "I-I must've lost it during the attack... I had my keys and everything in it... I-I can't get into my house without them."

"We can go to our house, if you're ok with it." Normally, (f/n) would've declined immediately. However, these two were her soulmates, there was no way they'd hurt her.

"Sure." They approached Todoroki's car and Bakugou opened the door for (f/n), letting the girl slip into the back as he got into the front seat.

"How are you feeling, (f/n)?" Todoroki inquired, looking at the rearview mirror, to see her face. She gave him a slight nod.

"I'm ok... I feel a bit weird though."

"Weird how?" Bakugou asked, looking back at her.

"Hmm... Like I just woke up from a really deep sleep." They nodded understandingly. Well, she did just wake up from the dead... so makes sense. The three made small talk until they arrived at Bakugou and Todoroki's house. The girl's eyes widened a bit as she took in the sheer size of it... well, they were the 2nd and 3rd ranked heroes so that made sense. Todoroki got out and opened the door for (f/n), helping the girl out. She tried to keep her reaction to the house at a low because unlike them, she didn't live at a glamorous house. In fact, she was kind of happy she lost her purse. Her apartment was quite run down, it was not in the best neighborhood, and she did NOT want them to see it.

The three walked into the house and the two led her upstairs to the master bedroom and bathroom.

"You can just use our stuff since we don't have any girl products. Whatever you need, go ahead and use it." Bakugou said as he walked into the closet and grabbed his own shirt and Todoroki's sweatpants. Her other soulmate led the girl to the bathroom, who tripped a bit as the world spun. Bakugou was at her side within seconds, their fear of losing her again, returning.

"Woah." He caught her, leading her to the bed but she refused.

"N-no, I don't want to mess it up."

"They're just sheets." The two males sat the girl down who took in a few deep breaths as her quirk activated again. They watched as (f/c) light bathed her body and within seconds, she seemed... rejuvenated.

"Woah," She smiled up at them. "I feel much better already! That was weird."

"Hey, (f/n)," Bakugou started. "What's your quirk?" The girl frowned and shook her head.

"Don't have one. Been quirkless all my life." She raised her head with a sad smile. "I still have hope, maybe one day, I'll have a cool quirk like you two!" The look in her eyes made their chest hurt. They could see the desperation in her eyes, they could sense it in her words, they could see it in her smile, but at the same time... she was just a bit hopeful. Her smile fell and she looked down at her bloodied hands and arms.

No matter what she did, no matter how much she cried and screamed, she could never be on their level. She didn't do anything as amazing as they did, she wasn't talented, she wasn't... she was a bad match for them. Todoroki was the number two pro hero and Bakugou was number three, she was a waitress at a cafe. She had no quirk, she barely had any money, and at this point in her life, she had no motivation to really deal with anything.

She knew. She knew who her soulmates were, she just chose to lie earlier. Although they mostly went with their aliases Hellfrost (I saw this name... and I loved it... I just need him to have a hero name for the purposes of this story, so chill) and Ground Zero, during interviews they sometimes used their real names.

At her cafe, they had TVs that usually had the news channel on and one day, she caught an interview with them. She almost cried from joy when she found out who her soulmates were but throughout the day, she only felt worse. Especially when she realized they were together and happily so. Ever since, she just pretended like they weren't hers. The universe must've had a different plan since it threw her at them. Now here they were, two of the greatest heroes, in front of her. A quirkless nobody.

"I-I feel better now, so I should go wash this off before I ruin even more of the sheets." The two males nodded and let her go into the bathroom and Shoto showed her how the shower worked. While he did so, Bakugou showed her where the towels were and gave her their clothes.

"We'll be downstairs. Take your time." He said as the two left the bathroom. Once the door shut, she let the tears slip. What was she going to say now? They all had each other's names on their wrists. What if... no. She didn't want to be in a relationship with them, she wasn't worthy.

She entered the shower and watched as all the dried blood came off and pooled around her feet before disappearing down the drain. Wait... whose blood was that? Looking down, she saw no bruises or cuts, nothing.

Wait... what happened again? Everything was starting to become fuzzy. She... got hurt right? That blood was hers. She remembered laying down in the dirt, the heavy slabs of concrete on her back, and that... pole thing through her torso. It hurt so damn bad.

Her eyes scanned her entire body. Where were the injuries? She woke up in a body bag, who healed her? Why would they heal a dead person? Shaking her head, she pushed the thoughts out of her head for the time being.

She saw two separate body washes and shampoos. Unsure of which ones to use, she just shrugged and picked a random one. It smelled amazing. On rare occasions, the girl could afford to buy one decent body wash, not those cheap ones at her local store.

After she was done and she made sure she was completely clean, she turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping the towel around herself. Her (e/c) scanned the bathroom, it was quite large. The shower itself was quite large, able to hold at least five people in it. The tub was a few feet away, also quite large against the wall. There were three steps leading up to it. Behind the tub were windows, however, it was safe to enter and exit the tub without fear of anyone seeing. It was bright white, with golden rims. In fact, the entire bathroom was white, with golden accents.

They had two sinks and mirrors, with multiple products on there, arranged neatly. Parallel to that sink, on the other side, was a vanity. There was a chair with large lights around it in case anyone wanted to get ready. The spacious, luxurious bathroom made her own look like a complete dump. Which it was, if she was being honest.

Her bathroom was a fraction of the size, in fact, their bathroom and half of the bedroom was the size of her entire apartment. Unlike theirs, her wallpaper was peeling, the natural color of the toilet, sink, and tub was an ugly yellowish-brown color, and there was barely any room for her to move around.

"Man... if I saved up every single dollar for the rest of my life... I still wouldn't be able to afford a place like this." She muttered as she dried her hair and body.

In the distance, with the other products, she saw body lotion. Her skin was a bit dry... and they said they didn't mind it if she used any of their products. She hesitantly walked over to it and picked it up, opening the top and applying it all over her. After that, she slipped on their clothes. The shirt was quite large, almost like a dress for her. The sweatpants needed to be tightened quite a bit so they wouldn't fall off. She approached the vanity and stared at herself. There was still light makeup on her face (whatever bit you wear, if you don't wear any, then there's nothing on your face). She looked at the clothes, they looked even sillier, but she liked it.

As she stood there staring at herself, she remembered something. She had a spare key, she just never used it. There was a loose brick in her wall, right by her door, that she had pulled out and hollowed. She kept her spare key in there, the best place. Her neighborhood wasn't the safest and so she couldn't keep her key under the mat or in the plant (except she didn't even have a plant). She could go home! No need to spend more time with them! Although... just that thought hurt her heart. She couldn't though. She... just couldn't.

She dried her hair as best as she could and then finally exited the bathroom. Outside, she saw her somewhat dirty flats and slipped them on. They said they would be downstairs... but downstairs where? The house was huge. She hesitantly walked out of the master bedroom and walked down the large stairs. Her eyes taking in all the sights. The most impressive thing to her was how spacious everything was. Her apartment was really tiny. The kitchen and living room were in the same place and then she had a small bedroom and bathroom.

Due to her job, she had to purchase the cheapest place she could find and that apartment was $450 a month, perfect for her paycheck. She hated it, it was hideous, but there was nothing she could do.

As she wandered, she heard voices and followed through a doorway and saw the two sitting on a large couch. That... must've been the living room. Where she stood, she could see the entire thing. The living room was huge, there were three couches, two facing each other and the last one was adjacent. That couch faced the wall, with a large TV. In the middle of the couches, was a glass coffee table, decorated with a flower in the center. The ceilings had chandeliers, there was a large aquarium in the back... it was amazing. Her eyes landed on the duo again, Todoroki and Bakugou were both sitting close to each other, holding hands as they were talking about... well her. Unsure of what to say, she simply cleared her throat causing them to look at her.

"Hello. How do you feel?" Todoroki inquired as he gestured for her to sit. She walked towards them and sat down on the couch next to theirs, trying to keep some distance. Although, they were hurt, they understood she needed space. All of this, must've been quite a bit for her, especially her dying and coming back to life.

"I feel much better." They were silent until she looked up at them. "What... happened? I... don't remember much."

"What do you remember?" Todoroki asked.

"I was at the mall... buying... something. There was a loud sound and everyone started running. I think I fell?" (f/n) paused, racking her mind for more information. "I just remember laying on the dirt, my stomach hurt. There was a pole or something going through it. There was a lot of blood, my chest hurt, and I just remember looking at my wrists and... feeling sorry." Her eyes glanced down to her bare wrists, their names were neatly written across each other. Slowly, her fingertips gently traced Bakugou's name, then moved to trace Todoroki's name.

They silently watched her, wanting to see how their soulmate worked. They watched as (f/n) as she stared at her wrist, then placed them together. As if she was trying to figure out the reason for the names on her wrist, she stared at them. Finally, her hand reached out and scrubbed Todoroki's name, viciously. Was she trying to get rid of it? Did she not want him? Did... she want either of them?

Finally, she stopped, her thumb running over the name, ever so gently, they watched as she mouthed the name, doing the same with the other wrist. It seemed as if she'd come back to life, her head tilting up to look at them.

"Oh... sorry."

"No, it's ok. We should... really talk about your quirk." Bakugou started, making her shake her head.

"I don't have one."

"But you do," Todoroki started. "It must be called Resurrection. It's a rare quirk and I've only heard of one other case ever since quirks have been documented. There might be more, but I haven't seen any other research on it."

"Resurrection?" (f/n) muttered, making them both nod.

"You died, (f/n)," Bakugou said. "You died, your name disappeared from our wrist. But look, here you are. Alive and well. All healed."

"So... I healed myself?" They both nodded. (f/n) looked away, letting the information sink in. She... wasn't a quirkless nobody? She had a quirk, a rare mutation. She had a quirk. She had a quirk! It wasn't like theirs... it was something completely different! "I... have a quirk." She whispered, leaning back onto the couch, her eyes glancing up at the chandelier above them. "I have a quirk."

They spent quite a while talking about it, neither of them really having a definitive answer. They mostly just had theories, to which Todoroki suggested (f/n) go to a quirk specialist, to figure out what it really was. During this time, (f/n) remembered her information from the shower.

"Oh, while I was showering, I remembered I have a spare key at my house. I can just use that to get in."

"But... shouldn't you stay here for a while? Today was quite a bit for you." Bakugou insisted but she shook her head with a grateful smile.

"No no, I couldn't impose. You've already done so much for me. Besides, I have work tomorrow and I'd prefer it if I didn't miss it."

"Are you sure work is such a good idea. You've been through a lot today." She smiled at their concern.

"I feel just fine right now, in fact, I feel like the attack wasn't even today. However, if I'm not feeling good tomorrow, I'll call in sick." The two started to get a feel for her personality. She was the shy type, she wasn't the type that would be comfortable with spending too much money (if that's not you, feel free to change the description), and she was always grateful for any and all the help she got. They didn't want her to leave, but understood.

They had been searching for her, searching for their missing piece for over ten years and here she was. However, she was intent on leaving. While she was showering, Todoroki was talking Bakugou down from being too abrasive. He wanted Bakugou to understand that the girl probably knew of them, especially since their names were no secret. She chose not to come looking, so she needed to be given the choice to be able to walk away. Reluctantly, the hothead agreed.

"Well, let's go then," Todoroki said, standing up grabbing the keys that lay on the coffee table, both (f/n) and Bakugou followed. The girl shook her head profusely, refusing his offer within seconds.

"Oh! No, no! I-I can go home myself."

"There's no way we're letting you walk home by yourself," Bakugou argued, causing her to give him a weak smile.

"I've been walking myself home for like nine years now. Really it's ok." This time, the dual haired male spoke.

"I'm with Suki on this one, we're not gonna let you walk home." She frowned at the two males and tried to speak up when the ash-blond beat her to it.

"Look, we're your soulmates. You're not imposing and we can't just let you walk out of our house and walk home late at night." She gave it a thought before nodding.

"Ok then." Todoroki walked to a nearby desk and opened the drawer. He took out a little notepad and neatly wrote down his and Bakugou's numbers, then tore the little page out and handed it to her.

"Not sure if your phone was in your purse but here. In case you need anything, feel free to call." She smiled and took the paper, thanking them, slipping it into her pocket.

As she retracted her hand, Todoroki grabbed her wrist. Gently pulling it towards him, he turned her hand and looked at his name. Bakugou approached as well, taking her other wrist, with his own name. The three were silent as both males gently traced their names on her wrist.

This was rare and most people didn't choose to stay with the third soulmate. Usually, this was a backup, because it meant one of them was dead.

As they were trancing their fingers on her wrist, (f/n) grabbed their hands, turning, just like them, and looking at her own name. Her thumb grazed across her own name, wondering what they'd done to get someone like her as a soulmate. They deserved so much better... what bad luck they had.

With that thought, she retracted her hands, looking up at them with a forced smile.

The three made their way to the car, (f/n) racked her mind for a plan. She couldn't just show them her living condition! That's when an idea hit her. Four blocks from her house were these apartments. They were much nicer and each apartment building had a door at the bottom that was unlocked.

"What's your address?" Bakugou asked, looking back at her. She gave him the address for the apartments. The drive was mostly small talk, similar to earlier. A little while later, they arrived at the apartments.

"We can walk you to your apartment." Bakugou offered but she shook her head.

"It's ok, it's pretty safe from here. Thank you both so much for everything. I promise, I'll return these clothes to you." They both smiled and nodded at her as she got out of the car and walked towards the door. She prayed to the gods that the door wasn't locked today and it wasn't. She breathed a sigh of relief as she opened it and waved back at them one last time before going inside and letting it close. She headed up the stairs and hid by the window and waited until they were gone before she walked out.

She then quickly made her way to her actual house and made it there safely. She got the spare key, opened the door, and walked in. She locked the door behind her as she sat on her couch, a frown forming on her face. What an ugly house. She sighed and looked at her TV and on the TV stand, she saw her phone.

"Great. I lose my wallet, my decently expensive purse, my keys... but my phone's alright." She grabbed it and fished out the piece of paper she got earlier and saved the two numbers into her contacts.

~**~

It had been about three days since the incident, and (f/n) was back at work. She was currently standing at the cash register with her coworker, (c/n).

"You met them?! Then why are you still living at your old place? It sucks and it's so dangerous." Her friend asked.

"Yeah, but... let's say your soulmate was Deku. Would you be ok with just... going and living with him? Knowing this is what we've amounted to? At least you have a decent quirk. They're pro heroes. They spend their lives protecting and saving innocents. The only thing we're saving is cranky people who barely got sleep last night." Her friend laughed bitterly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She was silent for a moment before speaking again. "It'd be an embarrassment for him... to have his soulmate be a waitress." (f/n) nodded.

"See? They're the number two and three pro heroes," She whispered, avoiding unnecessary attention. "They're bathroom is bigger than my entire apartment. I'm just... I'm just... embarrassed." She added, blinking to keep her tears at bay.

"Have you called or texted them since?" She shook her head.

"I mean, they've said hello and that's all I replied too, but we aren't exactly talking." (c/n) understood what (f/n) meant, yes, it was amazing that her soulmates were two amazing pro heroes, but that just fueled the self-hate she already had within her. She wasn't anyone special. So why? Why should she be? Besides, they had each other, they didn't need her. They were just lucky that all three of them were soulmates.

Work was pretty busy that day, (f/n) didn't have much time to check her phone, but she was watching the news at her work. There they were again, Katsuki Bakugou and Shouto Todoroki. Being the amazing people they were... if she could have one wish, she'd choose to erase her name off their wrists.

~**~

It was now 2 am and (f/n) just couldn't sleep. Her mind returned to the incident two weeks ago, her thoughts being invaded by her two soulmates. She had to admit, all this time, being without them, hurt so much, more than it did just watching them on tv.

No matter what she did, she couldn't rest or get her mind off of her two handsome soulmates. So she walked to her living room and turned on her TV. There was a knock at her door and she frowned as she muted the TV and stood up. She walked to her door and looked through the peephole. Outside was her neighbor (r/n [random name]) (here is your chance to imagine the person you hate lol). She opened the door and saw two more people behind (him/her).

"(r/n), what's up?" (He/she) pulled out a gun and (f/n)'s eyes widened. The three pushed their way into her house and she glared at them as they started grabbing her things. "We live in the same shitty complex! You seriously think I have anything you can rob?! What are you gonna steal?! My TV? It's five years old! What else? My will to live? Not even sure I still have that." They just grabbed everything and she growled, but was unable to do anything due to one of their quirks.

Her legs felt heavy and she was unable to move, only watch helplessly as they raided her home. However, as they left, they grabbed her, making her scream and struggle. (r/n) tried to stop (his/her) friend, giving (f/n) the chance to kick (her/him). (he/she) groaned, something falling out of (his/her) pocket, but neither noticed. (r/n) lifted the gun to her head, causing tears to well up as she shook her head. (His/her) friend quickly left the apartment with the other accomplice.

"(r/n), I swear to god... don't do- please." (he/she) muttered an apology as (he/she) pulled the trigger.

The second the gunshot rang throughout her house, Bakugou and Todoroki felt the same stinging pain they had over two weeks ago. They shot up in bed and immediately looked at their wrist. Her name was gone... AGAIN! The two didn't say a word as they bolted out of bed and grabbed the car keys. The two slipped on some clothes, since they slept in boxers, and grabbed their cellphones.

~**~

(r/n) shut the door as the group ran away. (f/n) lay on her living room floor with eyes wide and blood all over her. It had only been a second before her quirk activated again, healing her wound and bringing her back to life. She slowly sat up as the memories rushed back to her.

"I just died... but... I'm not dead..." The girl frantically sat up and looked for her phone. Thankfully, it was under the couch cushions and the robbers weren't able to steal it. She grabbed it and immediately called Bakugou (his name was on top of the list because ya know... alphabetical order). Bakugou almost cried in relief when he heard her voice.

"I'm fine!"

"What happened?"

"My neighbor happened!" She cried as she touched her face, which had blood on it.

"We're heading to your place right now, just stay there." (f/n) paled as she realized where they were going. Not to her damn house, that was for sure. Her heart sped up as she racked her brain for an excuse.

"W-wait! No, it's ok! (He/she)'s gone already!"

"I'm not gonna argue with you again, we'll be there soon," Bakugou said.

"Gr-Ground Zero! I'm fine!"

"It's Katsuki and no you're not. We're already on our way, don't bother trying to stop us." The blond added, leaving no room for arguments, making the girl sigh in defeat as she pathetically told him the truth.

"Ok... then... come to (insert address). I live here..."

"Wait, what? Why is that a different address?"

"You'll see..."

"Ok, be there soon. Just stay hidden somewhere, in case your neighbor comes back."

"Ok." They hung up and Bakugou told Todoroki the new address and clearly, both were confused. However, when they realized the distance between where they last dropped her off and her real home, concern built up. When they saw the area... they understood why.

(f/n) washed her face to clean off any blood she could and then sighed as she looked around her house. It was a mess, everything valuable had been stolen. Well... almost everything. She heard a knock at her door and opened it, relieved to see the two heroes. She looked down and opened her door, moving to the side, letting them in.

"What happened?" Todoroki inquired as the two looked around.

"My neighbor apparently thought I had better things than (him/her)." She kicked a nearby water bottle as she sat down on her couch, her head falling in her hands. They both sat next to her and rubbed her back as they heard a sob. After a few minutes, she calmed down and stared at the ground. "The day hasn't even started and it's already awful." It was now 2:30 am, so she had a point.

"Why did you lie about where you lived?" The dual haired male inquired, causing her to scoff.

"Have you seen your house? Do you see mine? It's embarrassing. My two soulmates are so much better than me in pretty much everything. I feel like an embarrassment next to you both. That's why I was in such a rush to leave. I just... I can't be that little charity case! I don't wanna be that rando that's associated with two amazing people."

"You're not a charity case though. You're our soulmate, you're our missing piece. Who cares where you live or what you do or don't do." He responded quietly, crouching in front of her.

"Come live with us," Bakugou said, taking her hand and squeezing it. Almost immediately started shaking her head.

"Please. This... is the only way we can make sure no one's gonna hurt you." Todoroki added.

"I-I'll be... fine." She whispered. They took her wrists, tracing their names.

"Please." They said together, unsure of what else to say. She was hesitant at first, still wanting to reject their proposal, wanting nothing but to disappear into the void now that they'd seen her house. But... they were insistent. So, she inhaled and then gave them a nod.

"Ok... i-if it's not too much." They only chuckled and kissed her head.

"We'll get your stuff ready! Come on IcyHot." The girl giggled at the nickname as the two ran into the bedroom. She smiled at the ground, but her brows furrowed as she spotting something.

"A wallet?" She reached out and grabbed it. Her eyes widened when she realized it was (r/n)'s. As she stood up, her front door, making her wide eyes shoot to meet the person standing there. (SHE/HE) CAME BACK?!

What was her life?

It was (r/n), probably came back to get the wallet. (he/she) held the gun up again and an idea hit (f/n).

"You need this right?" (r/n)'s eyes widened when (she/he) saw the wallet in (f/n)'s hand. "I just want you to know... I've always hated you." With that, the girl ran to her bedroom, causing (r/n) to shoot and miss. She saw both Bakugou and Todoroki run out and ran right past them, into the safety of the room.

Before (r/n) could do anything, the entire living room was frozen. Both males glared at (r/n) realizing it was (him/her) who hurt their precious (f/n). Said girl poked her head out from behind them and yelled:

"SUCK ON THAT (R/N)!"

~**~

The hectic night was finally over as the trio returned to the house. (f/n) smiled at the thought of living in such a huge house. The two males brought her stuff upstairs to their bedroom, but when she realized it she stopped them.

"Wait, you don't mind me being in your room?"

"Why would we?"

"Well... I was just..." She trailed off as they both turned to her. Maybe... she wasn't aware of their intentions yet.

"(f/n), we want you to be in a relationship with us." The girl seemed taken aback, her eyes darting around the room, refusing to look at the two males in front of her.

"But wait... aren't you both..."

"Yes and we want you to be a part of it, come on keep up!" Bakugou said, getting impatient. Todoroki knew he had to take control before it got worse, for any reason.

"Suki, relax," Todoroki said, as he looked at the girl. "If you want to wait, that's fine, we can move your things to a guest bedroom. Or if you just want to be friends, that's understandable as well."

"I... um... have never... I've never had a boyfriend before." She admitted around the room sheepishly, before her gaze returned her two soulmates. This is where she saw the main difference between the two. Todoroki had an understanding smile, but Bakugou had a smirk.

"Perfect. First and last." He moved in towards the girl, causing her cheeks to flush red when Todoroki pulled him back.

"Suki," It was a warning.

"I'm kissing her first."

"What if I want to?"

"Well you're always second, so" (cue that "ooh" meme... cuz yeah... ik im trash) The girl gasped and covered her mouth as she saw Todoroki's eye twitch. "Lemme see them lips, love." Todoroki jumped right in and pushed Bakugou away, picking up the girl.

"Mine, THIRD PLACE!" With that, the girl was on the other side of the room with Todoroki.

"Listen here half-n-half bastard," Bakugou said, putting his hands on his hips. "I will blow your ass up if I have to!"

"Go ahead." His boyfriend challenged. "Third place."

"Why the hell do you sound so proud?! You're still second!" Bakugou retaliated.

"Ok, but I'm not third."

"Ok, but you're second! Like father, like son."

"Now, you've gone too far." The dual quirked male grumbled as the room started to get cold.

"Come at me second place!" Bakugou challenged and Todoroki would've... if it wasn't for (f/n)'s giggles reigning through the room. They stopped, looking back at her with gentle smiles.

"Thank you." She sniffled.

"Come on, it's late, we should go to bed." It was almost 4 am now. The two started to strip making (f/n)'s eyes widened. As they removed their shirts, she could see the muscles and outlines on their backs. Every single curve and divot. Her eyes widened, her mouth agape for a few seconds before she looked away, her eyes darting back and forth as she tried to calm herself. They looked... amazing. No, amazing was too simple of a word. No doubt those muscles weren't just for show.

She blinked a few times, biting her lips in an attempt to keep her mouth from hanging open. She scrunched up her face, trying to think of anything else, but that image was ingrained in her head forever now.

'Calm down, (f/n)! Don't you start looking weird now! Relax, they're just muscles! Nothing... special... god they look so hot- NO!' She sighed in defeat. 'Who am I kidding... they look amazing'

The two paused when they noticed the girl shift uncomfortably. She was facing away from them and they weren't sure if she was uncomfortable since... well they barely knew her. Sure, she was their soulmate, but baby steps... right?

"W-would you like it if we kept our clothes on?" Todoroki inquired.

"Oh... uhhh," She giggled nervously. "Th-that's not it... just..." She trailed off as her eyes landed on their torsos again for a second or two. They saw her cheeks turn red before she inhaled and turned her head the other way, not noticing the faintest of smirks on their faces. "Stressful night." Bakugou and Todoroki looked at each other, feeling a surge of confidence. Since she was looking away, she failed to notice the two approach her.

"Yeah?" She jumped and gasped when she heard Bakugou's name right next to her ear. She froze when she saw Todoroki approach her, she had to muster every last bit of self-control she had to keep herself from staring.

"Your cheeks are red," Todoroki commented. "Are you sick?" She could hear the teasing tone behind the innocent one.

"Y-You're too close..." She squeaked.

"Is that a problem?" Bakugou asked, whispering into her ear. "Because, you can push us away... you just won't."

"Y-you're cheating..." She whispered. Todoroki's hand landed on her head before the two smiled and backed off. No, she wasn't uncomfortable, she was just beyond impressed.

The two just took off their shirts and switched into some comfortable pajama pants, while (f/n) changed out of the now bloody clothes. She was going to grab her own clothes, but she liked theirs. "C-can I borrow another shirt?" She inquired, holding up Bakugou's old shirt against her chest. He smirked and nodded, moving away from the closet.

"Grab whichever one you want." Todoroki was in the bathroom while (f/n) searched the closet. She found one to her liking and slipped it on, watching it reach her upper thigh. She had already switched into a new pair of underwear back home, so those were clean. She chose to leave the sweatpants out and got into bed, with Bakugou right next to her. Todoroki came out of the bathroom and shut off all the lights, moving in on the other side.

The three cuddled right up together and for once, (f/n) didn't feel like a nobody. She felt like she mattered and there were two people who would cross the entire world for her. Her life wasn't so bad.

[waytoomuchfanfiction]

Get On My Level

Author: Mikacrispy

Fandom: My Hero Academia 

Details: 92k| Mature | Complete | Midoriya Izuku x Bakugou Katsuki

Primary Tags/Warnings: Alternate Canon | Pro!Bakugou | Intern!Midoriya | Age Gap | Slow Burn | Sexual Thoughts | Language | First Times | Pining | Eventual Sexual Content | Secret Relationship 

Summary:  Bakugou Katsuki is a Pro Hero whose boss demands him to take an intern. Midoriya Izuku is a UA student who needs an internship. When the two of them are put together, they learn about what it truly means to be a Hero and what it means to be in love.

Link

Readers Overall: I really really love how the author wrote this relationship. Age gaps are hard but the author did a really good job at being sensitive about a really controversial thing and did it really tastefully. I adore a grown up Katsuki who has some semblance of his shit together. Any sexual content really isn’t until almost the end ! Otherwise this is really cute and sweet. 

Readers tbh

Hmm for this fic I feel like the author could have used another beta. I don’t think english is their first language so there are some syntax things that a native speaker might find odd and there’s some mistake in word use. The writing is fairly simple and to the point, which is perfectly fine for an easier read. 

Okay, i believe that is my only other ‘warning’ for this fic. Plot, characters, dynamics, and relationship are all on point.

For real I really like this. I really like the beginning of this and the other continues the story after a time skip (aka when Izuku is legal) and I don’t actually like that one quite as much for a variety of reasons. Thats probably just me being a picky bitch though ahahaha. I had to search forever to find this fic because my dumb self didn’t save it Dx ugh. Very glad I did though, cute read.

[queenangst]

bittersweet!! specifically, the last scene with katsuki and deku (i didn't actually realize you wrote this until i looked through your ao3 and found it SAKAJDSLKA it's one of my absolute favourites)

oh interesting!!!! tbh i feel like i haven’t thought about this fic in a while, so it will be nice to revisit. 

bewarned: the following commentary is me laughing at bakugou the entire time.

But there was someone in the dorms when they returned. Kacchan glared as they walked in.

Right away, this indicates and implies that Bakugou missed class (and was allowed to) for the specific reason of seeing Izuku when he came back. Bakugou is an actions person, not a words person, so... this tells you he really was concerned about Izuku.

"Took you long enough." He frowned at Izuku. "Taking the excuse to sleep for a billion hours, huh? Or to miss the test?"

"The test," Izuku said, horrified, as Kacchan strolled over. "I have to-"

"You'll make it up. Stop thinking so much." Aizawa-sensei made for the door, sighing.

HAHA, I love this part. Obviously, Kacchan can’t let anyone know what he’s actually thinking, so he makes fun of Izuku and pushes his buttons. And he absolutely cannot say anything when Aizawa is here. So he just gets mad instead. 

Aizawa is done with this.

"Here," Kacchan said. He shoved something at Izuku. A box. A nice one.

He forgot about the test. Forgot about everything as Izuku peeled back the wrapping paper and opened the box and saw- chocolate. No note, though, but inside the box was a crude drawing of Izuku with X's over his eyes.

I just thought about what a box of chocolates from Bakugou would look like. Nice, but it can’t be too nice, so he takes the time to draw Izuku with X’s over his eyes just to show that he does not like Izuku. No. Nope.

"It's you." Then Kacchan turned red. "And that's for you, but don't go telling anyone I gave you anything."

Kacchan had gotten- Kacchan had made—

Bakugou cannot hide it. He’s SO embarrassed. 

“You- you like me? Like, like? Like? Me?”

“Of course I don’t like you, you stupid idiot.” Kacchan folded his arms over his chest. He raised his voice like he had to make sure everyone in the vicinity could hear him. Even though the only one there was Aizawa-sensei, who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. “I don’t like you at all. We're not 'just friends' because we're not even friends in the first place. Got it?”

Bakugou constantly has something to prove, and in this case, it’s the mortification that he’s done something for his rival, who is not his friend. And the chocolates are meant to be a platonic gift, not a romantic one, so I made sure to specify that in this scene... and over-specify that Bakugou doesn’t like Izuku. In any way. Not just friends, because not friends. LMAO BAKUGOU.

“But-” Izuku glanced down at the box of chocolates. “This is still… Kacchan, this is really nice. You— made this? All of it?”

Kacchan. And Kacchan had saved him, Kacchan had been the one to see him. Izuku wiped at his eyes.

Izuku knows. Of course he knows. Even when Bakugou isn’t saying it... he understands the fact that Bakugou took the time to make a box of chocolates. And more than the chocolates—to come for Izuku, and save him. And that means a lot. (So he’s crying). 

“Well.” Kacchan huffed. “Like I said. If I liked you, which I don’t, I’d do a much better job than some shitty villain, okay? I can wrap presents like nobody’s business. And chocolate’s not that hard to make when you have the internet. You need better standards.”

Cover the evidence. Cover the evidence. It’s not that hard to make chocolate it’s not- no...

Izuku unwrapped the chocolate. Then he split a piece in half and held it out. Kacchan looked at it for a moment, then at Izuku, and took it.

“Thank you, Kacchan,” he said softly, hoping Kacchan would understand what he was trying to say.

Okay, it’s such a little line, but it’s important. Let’s break it down... Bakugou makes Izuku chocolate. Izuku takes the gift, then splits it, offers a piece to Bakugou, and Bakugou takes it. 

It’s a tiny symbol of their friendship and current dynamic. Izuku offers, and for one of the first times Bakugou accepts something that Izuku is giving him. Chocolate, but... friendship.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kacchan almost smiled. “Just eat your fucking chocolate.”

You know that smile Bakugou does when he thinks no one is looking and he’s pleased?

Kacchan hadn’t put enough sugar. The chocolate was a bit too bitter, but Izuku wasn’t complaining. He liked dark chocolate. And Kacchan had known that.

This is also really important. Earlier in the fic, I mentioned Izuku’s like of dark chocolate. And despite everything, Bakugou making dark chocolate is a sign that he knows Izuku, even while he’ll deny it. And that he listens, and pays attention, to what Izuku likes. 

But the reason this really hits is because prior to this scene is:

He paused, then admitted, "I don't know what- what I did… to deserve it… it was like, she- Toga liked me, but I don't… I don't understand. Why it has to be me. Why she has to like me."

It came flooding out of him. "She sent me chocolates. I thought it was just. I shouldn't have trusted them, but I didn't know, and I. And I felt really sick and I couldn't move the way I wanted to and she- and she- and I didn't want to, but there wasn't anything I could do. And I don't understand. I don't understand."

Izuku feels used. He doesn’t understand. And Aizawa lists things he’s noticed about Izuku and tells him:

"She doesn't know those things," he told Izuku. He reached out and tapped the side of Izuku's head with a finger, and it was more comforting than anything Toga had done. "People who love you, people who care about you… they would know."

Bakugou knows.

Bonus: in fourth grade, my gifted-kids class made chocolate. I didn’t put enough sugar in my batch, so it ended up being pretty bitter. This is a nod to my own experience, and something I think Bakugou might do, haha!

"Happy Valentine's Day," Izuku offered.

"It's not Valentine's Day and you can fuck off," Kacchan said. But he bumped Izuku's shoulder, and he ate the too-bitter chocolate, and Izuku thought that wasn't bad at all for someone who didn't like him.

Bakugou refutes everything Izuku says. But in the end... he initiates contact (bumps Izuku’s shoulder), eats the chocolate (friendship), and well, his actions mean more than anything he really says out loud.

send me your favorite scene/chapter from one of my works + i’ll write commentary on it!

[makeste]

Favorite BnHA OST Tracks

anon I never thought this day would come. (థ ｪ థ) 

I fucking adore this OST. and no one has ever asked me about it. which is fine, but I think we all need to just take a moment to acknowledge that the BnHA soundtrack fucking slaps. I’m not just saying that as a fan of the series; I’m saying it as objective fact. it’s up there with Zelda and Game of Thrones and How to Train Your Dragon. this soundtrack deserves all the love. and up till this point I’d resigned myself to loving it quietly, but now you have unlocked pandora’s box so I just hope you’re ready!!

I have... let’s see... six BnHA-related playlists right now lol. out of these, three are composed of tracks from the OST (the other three are my character-inspired playlists. wait, did I say three? actually there’s four of those. so seven in all. good lord). this soundtrack gets a lot of play, you guys. when I like something, I have a tendency to put it on repeat until I’m sick of it. so if I never get sick of it, you can imagine how that ends up going.

I was going to do a top ten of this, but then I went through the playlist and wrote down all my favorites and there were like thirty. I briefly entertained the idea of just saying FUCK IT I’LL JUST POST THEM ALL!!!!, but I had to sit myself down and lecture myself about having some goddamn self control. so I narrowed it down to like... twenty-three. and then finally down to seventeen. soo, it’s a top ten, plus seven honorable mentions. this is the best I can do guys. this is taking everything I’ve got, so please just humor me this once.

I promise this post won’t be super long. I’m not even gonna put it under a cut. I will restrain myself. okay here we go.

 10. Bombing King!!

Katsukiiiiii. I couldn’t not put this here, who the hell do you think I am. it’s perfect for him. it’s rowdy (I love how it just crashes in with those opening drums and guitar without so much as a how-do-you-do), but it’s got a real drive to it, and a fucking legit leitmotif that can be cut into sections and remixed in any number of ways (see: number 4). if you want to make it sad you can make it sad. want to make it even more badass, you can definitely do that. it makes me excited because there’s so many ways to play around with it for his future character development.

9. Cavalry Battle

this track makes me want to go out and cause a ruckus. it’s so full of energy and there’s an optimism to it, but like a clever, resourceful optimism. I love when the melody smooths out at around 1:14. it’s like, the team is coming together and we’re gonna kick some ass. they should play this in promos for the Olympics.

8. Nevertheless, Go Beyond

this makes me want to save the world. this one actually gets bonus points for the title because it’s so emotive, and somehow nails the exact feeling that the music manages to convey. even when you can’t go on, go on. you’re a hero. people are depending on you. get up.

7. All For One

ooooooohhhhhh my gooodddddddd. “The Power of All For One” is arguably the creepier track, but this one is more epic. it sends chills down my spine. he’s so fearsome. only the strongest of the strong can hope to defeat him. good vs evillllllll. god the bass in this is so good. and the vocals. and the frenzied urgency of the strings. and the Inception-stype WHOOOOOOOM at the end ugh.

6. Your Power

I almost went with “I Absolutely Won’t Use the Heat (Left)” because it’s so sad and haunting, but in the end this version won out because, as with the All For One track above, it’s the more epic of the two. I really consider them to be two parts of the same track though. anyways, so Todoroki’s motif is hands down the most haunting on the OST. fact. it’s so goddamn tragic?? and this version of it has that resounding drum beat that to me feels like a kind of grim determination. it’s a great track, and perfect for that theatrical Todoroki family drama lol.

5. My Hero Academia

this traccccccck. is so good. it makes me picture someone standing on the edge of a cliff at dawn looking down on the city below. it’s just got this kind of legendary feel to it somehow. this is an “only the beginning of the adventure” type of track. I also associate this with Iida unveiling his Reciproburst during the Sports Festival arc, because it was used so fucking well during that scene. “everyone, there’s less than a minute left...” I honestly get chills every time I watch that. it’s like quintessential BnHA.

4. Katsuki and Izuku

guys. I don’t want to throw the word “masterpiece” around all willy-nilly, but this. this, right here, is why I like character motifs so much. because you can play with them and wind them apart and together and bam, just like that you’re telling a fucking story. so anyways, in case you didn’t know, this track combines You Say Run/Jet Set Run (a.k.a. Deku’s themes) with Bombing King!! (a.k.a. Katsuki’s theme). bringing the two of them together through the power of music ffff why am I so weak to this shit. when You Say Run kicks in at around 26 seconds I fucking looooose it. then when Katsuki’s theme first joins in at around 52 seconds I lose it all over again. this is a better arrangement of it than Bombing King tbh. which is perfect, because the whole point of their story is that the two of them make each other better! anyways, they just complement each other so perfectly. IT’S LIKE THIS TRACK IS A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING YOU GUYS. waiting on the anime to fucking use this in season 4, since it went unused in s3 despite them having all the opportunities in the world smdh. they might actually use it in the upcoming movie, come to think.

3. You Say Run

obviously. what else is there even to say. this is a fucking tour de force. chills every time. I know y’all came here for 2:05, but honestly the whole track is a rush from start to finish. I’m literally not exaggerating when I say that this music taught me the meaning of plus ultra. like on a spiritual level. music is cool. please don’t be mad at me that I only put it at third. if anything, that ought to tell you just how much I love the #1 and #2 tracks.

2. Hero A

I can play this on repeat for hours. not an exaggeration. this has the highest play count of any of my BnHA tracks. I’m not a naturally energetic person. I want to be, but I’m not. but this track is like a fucking life-hack to get you pumped the fuck up. and it’s so catchy, and it makes you feel so good, like you can really do anything. it might not be easy, but you can do it! I actually like the “you can be a hero/you say run” motifs in this track even better than the original tracks tbh. especially when it goes a bit quieter and then builds up again starting from 1:45, and then the percussion kicks in again, and it’s like something out of a Rocky movie. this track makes me fucking believe. it makes me want to try.

 and before we go to number one, here are some runner-ups. (by “some” I mean a fuckton more of them but my descriptions are shorter. compromise)

 You Can Be a Hero - the track that proved it’s possible to simultaneously make someone feel more inspired than they’ve ever been in their entire life while also causing them to ugly cry

Heroic Fighting Battle Song - why is the season 2 OST so fucking good

Go Seize It! - why is the season 2 OST so fucking good

The Threat of Offense and Defense - this theme makes me want to solve difficult puzzles very dramatically

Battle of Deku - this is just here because of Deku VS Kacchan part 2. I 100% associate it with that fight. it’s a great track, but it wouldn’t quite stand out among all the other tracks if it wasn’t for that. but that fight does exist, so now this track makes me think of rivals throwing down and it’s great

Yoarashi Inasa - specifically the part that starts in at 1:14. it’s like the Naruto and FLCL soundtracks had a really funky baby

People Always Reaching for the Top “the winner of the U.A. sports festival is...” the only reason this track isn’t higher is because I don’t feel like it stands quite as well on its own as some of the other tracks. but with context?? god. I love how this was used at the end of Bakugou VS Todoroki. it was just the perfect cue for that scene. so good.

 ...bonus runner-ups because I’m a fucking liar and have no self-control at all

 From Me to You - this is the one used when Kacchan joins the scooby squad. it’s quiet and sad and hopeful all at once. the perfect theme for something ending and something else beginning

Rampaging Evil - I associate this with Tomura. it’s badass and usually means that some hardcore shit is happening

Predecessor’s Sworn Friend - this track is some straight up Cowboy Bebop shit. badass grandpa gettin to work

 okay, without any further ado let’s finish up with number one

 1. One for All Vs. All for One

good. versus. evil. this is epic incarnate. how is it so good. I have so many feels about it oh god. it’s so desperate and so determined at the same time. it perfectly conveys this image of one person, almost at their limit, standing alone against something terrible, and somehow reaching deep within themselves to summon the courage to fight. it is beautiful. it is powerful as shit. it may just be the most heroic thing I’ve ever heard.

 so that’s my top ten twenty! rest assured, this is still leaving a lot out. like the rest of the entire goddamn soundtrack. god this series fucking spoils us.

[purging-foxfire]

Just One Step Away

This is for @bicyclestandard, I hope you like it.

@bnhasummerexchange Thanks for organizing this!!

Notes: I hope you like it! It took me awhile, because beach prompts are really difficult for me (I love them though). So, it kinda turned into angst with some rare moments of fluff... In the end I wrote it for Tododeku, because I’m way more used to them (I’m horrible at writing Bakugou...). I learned that writing about road trips with angst ends up in chaos, tbh.

Pairing: Tododeku

Ao3

"Will you... stay?"

Stones scrapped his feet and the sun shined too bright. He could hear some birds, even see some fly around and there were little children running around, asking their parents for ice cream. He could use some ice cream. He told Uraraka as much and she laughed at him. Despite the obvious heat, everyone walked forward, ignoring it completely. It's not like they had a choice. They promised after all. Well, if you could call that stupid dare a promise. "Deku?... We are here." Hearing Uraraka's voice, he looked up. Towards the blue waves surrounding the ground they stood on. Never did he fear them as much as at that moment. It was an uncontrollable fear that tore apart his soul and made him feel uncomfortable. Everyone knew that. But that's why they gave him this dare. Izuku was careless; He thought it was a silly game of Truth or Dare and nothing more. Of course, they would strike at the moment, he didn’t expect anything. He should have, but he didn't.

Currently, they were sitting around a fire, preparing something to eat, and giving him time before his dare. They thought he needed it. Izuku thought otherwise. Honestly, it made him feel sick. With every second that passed, his breathing fastened and he could his heartbeat, mixed with the sound of the rushing waves, covering sand and stones. There was still the chipping of the birds and some hushed talking from his classmates, as they tried to do anything than to look at him, but failed to some part. They meant well, Izuku knew that. But just because he knew that, didn't mean that his mind understood that. They just made it worse. Slowly, he closed his eyes and tried to think about anything. Anything other than this. He thought about the books of the school's library that had a particular smell, which reminded him of home, his mother and her romance novels and cookbooks. Then he remembered the plants that used to stand in the corridors. He didn't know what they were called, but he always found them pretty. That's when he heard them. Footsteps, not quiet but also not too loud. With a slow pace, they came into his direction, until they stopped in front of him. He could feel the wooden texture of the bar he sat on, and the cool breeze of the wind. He wanted to stand up and run away, he wanted to throw up. Instead he opened his eyes.

It was a last-minute decision. It shouldn't have happened, but it was Izuku's turn and Shouto was the one sealing his fate. Because Izuku chose dare, and all the silly thoughts about making him carry someone, were replaced with memories of Izuku sitting in the hospital room, not touching his glass of water... and Shouto knew it had to change. "I dare you to come on a beach road trip with us." He remembered his best friend's green eyes filled with fear, as he glanced at Shouto. It felt like looking into a mirror, because often he would carry that look, when he knew no one was around. Izuku was more open with such things, and that's why Shouto was sure it was for the better. But now... "Maybe, this was a bad idea," he mumbled, sitting down on the ground. "No, it wasn't." Someone sat down beside him. "Midoriya needs this, and everyone knows it." Finally, Shouto glanced to his side. Kirishima grinned at him, before he pointed at a direction with his hand. "Look." Izuku was talking to Bakugou.

"Help! M-Mommy... help!" It was quiet. Amongst the loud, crashing sound of the attacks hitting the ground, the waves covering almost everything in sight, and thunder approaching, it was quiet. "Mommy.... he... lp" The other two heroes were too focused on the villain, trying to protect the civilians, who still couldn't flee. They threw different kind of attacks around, punched and kicked, just to make sure the villain was too occupied to harm the civilians. And then amid of such an attack Izuku heard it. "He... lp..." (So, so quiet.) His eyes widened, as realization hit him, and then he didn't waste one second. He turned, and sprang into the unforgiving water. The coldness of it cut his skin like blades of a knife and tried to drag him down like chains. But his eyes were wide open, and his ears on alert, no matter how loud the waves' tune was. Because there was a difference between him and the two other heroes. He heard her, and now he stretched his arms out, every intention to safe her with those hands attached to them. How unfortunate that the villain saw him, and found her faster. How unfortunate that the two heroes who previously held him off, laid on the ground, not moving. How unfortunate that the villain's quirk was related to water. Never would Izuku forget that drowning body of a little girl, and how the water around them turned red. Or the sand colored in a dark red, and how the backup arrived too late. It was the first time he truly couldn't save someone. (He was so close and yet so far.)

His green orbs settled on the back of his childhood friend, who was currently talking with - more like yelling at - Iida. For Katsuki to willing start a conversation with Izuku, instead of the opposite, must have meant that he really looked more than messed up, miserable. Of course, more than half of the words spoken to him were insults, but Izuku could tell that Katsuki held back. He had to chuckle at that. Katsuki holding back at insulting someone, especially Izuku? Impossible. Except that he really held back, and Izuku was lost. "Move your ass, we're only here because you're a fucking wimp." The words hurt and he wished Katsuki wouldn't have spoken them. But deep down, he knew they made more than sense. He had to face it, and so he stood up. With shaking legs, he walked towards the waves, ignorant of the mismatched eyes staring at him. You're too near, his mind whispered, but he ignored it and slowly he held his foot out, ready to touch the water and he did. For a short moment. It was so cold, and memories filled him. All he could think about was red. Her blood mixing with the the water. As fast as possible he stepped away from the water, turned around and walked away. His hands were balled into fists and it hurt. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. (How pathetic.) For the rest of the day no one talked to him. Instead pitying glances in his direction were common.

"I'll go back to the van to get the some more stuff. Does someone need something?" Kirishima's loud voice brought him back to reality. Shouto blinked, unsure why almost everyone was shouting different things. "Todoroki? Do you need something?" He glanced to his side, where Kaminari grinned at him. "What?" Noticing his classmate's confusion, Kaminari told him why everyone was talking - more like shouting at - to Kirishima. "Ah... no, thank you. I don't need anything." With a nod, Kaminari went off to ask someone else, whilst Shouto finally decided to do the one thing he wanted to do the whole day: to talk with Izuku. Observing his surroundings, Shouto found his classmate staring at the waves. With slow steps he walked to him, only to stop abruptly, once he got closer. "You can do it... stop being so... pathetic... the... water.... blue not red... can..." Balling his hands into fists, Shouto took a breath. It wasn't fair. Izuku shouldn't have to think like that whenever he saw water. Not him. Never him. He stepped even nearer, before he quietly spoke up, "Izuku?" As his friend didn't hear him the first time, Shouto spoke a bit louder the second time. "Izuku?" Said boy jumped in shock and turned quickly to look at him. "... Shouto? Is something? Are you okay?" He really wanted to scoff. For God's sake, literally everyone knew that the trip was for Izuku, because he didn't feel well. And here he was, asking Shouto if he was okay. He must have showed what he thought about the other's question, because Izuku was smiling sheepishly at him. "Sorry... I just thought you might need help... for something more important." Shouto sighed, before shaking his head softly. "Izuku, stop being a moron." Then he put his hands on his friend's shoulders, and looked him directly into his eyes. Those green orbs stared at him, filled with surprise. "Wha-" "It's important." And then he smiled warmly at the other, pretty sure his eyes were filled with affection for the other. "Your feelings are important, Izuku." "... Shouto..." Suddenly, he realized how close they faces were, and Shouto stepped back, looking to the side to hide his blush from the other. "... Thank you." Shouto closed his eyes, content standing beside the other.

On the third day, and their last day at the beach, Izuku finally walked into the water. Everyone was playing around and talking. With the exception of Izuku and Shouto, who were standing at the same spot as the day before. Izuku was gripping his friend's hand tighter, still uncomfortable. In fact, it was clear he would always feel a bit uneasy when he came in contact with water. That probably wouldn't change, not after not being able to save someone for the first time. It was a wake-up call, one that he really needed (but wished he didn't have). But everyone knew, that no matter how uncomfortable he felt, he needed to be able to face water and interact with it, if he wanted to continue as hero. He himself knew that as well, and he tried, but it was easier said than done. There was just something disturbing about imaging water turning into blood with severed body parts swimming in it. How many times did he throw up after that? He couldn't even remember. After that, there was just so much stress building up, and he spent days closed in his house, refusing to come out. After that they send him to therapy, once he finally came outside. No matter how many villains he already fought in his time at the academy, there was just a difference in both experience and situation. They told him to get a hobby, a distraction. He tried, and ended up with art lessons and many sketchbooks. It helped for a while, until they realized that he couldn't handle water on a job. It was thanks to Shouto's arrival, that everything went well. Everyone tried to tell him, that he should deal with it, get better, but he outright refused. And clearly, Shouto had enough, so he used the chance in the form of a game. One week of vacation. One week of traveling around to places with beaches. On week to get used to water once again. "Izuku?" He looked up into Shouto's concern filled eyes, and tried to smile slightly. Then he slowly took a breath and looked at the water. He could do this. He wasn't that pathetic. He was a hero, damnit. He felt Shouto squeezing his hand, and closed his eyes. Justdon'tlookatitJustdon'tlookatitJust- he stepped into the water. Breath, Izuku. He felt like his feet were burning, and someone was peeling the skin from them. He knew that was only his mind and his fear, working together to scare him, but it hurt- And he opened his eyes, let go of Shouto's hand and stepped hastily out of the water on the warm, almost burning sand. He couldn't look at the water, and he was sure Shouto was disappointed in him. So, he looked at the ground unable to face his friend. How pathetic. "Izuku." Why did he sound so excited? "Izuku." And suddenly there were two hands grasping his shoulder and turning him around. Finally, he lifted his head and- And he stopped breathing for a moment. Shouto was smiling at him, and oh God, he looked breathtaking. "I... I'm... uh..." "You did well, Izuku." His feet were burning on the sand, but he couldn't feel the pain. God, what did he do to deserve a friend like Shouto?

The stars were oddly comforting, and he loved looking at them, but he couldn't help but catch himself glancing at the glittering surface of the sea occasionally. It still made him sick, but now there was something else. He just didn't know what. But it was... relieving. Still, in the end he didn't get better. A part of him - the logical one - knew that it wouldn't be that easy, that it would take time and that's the specific reason why his friends insisted on a road trip. Because it simply would give them the time. Though, that didn't stop the other part of him to feel disappointed, especially since he somehow, against his own wishes, dragged everyone else into his problem. They shouldn't have to deal with it all, it's his responsibility, after all. "Izuku?" He looked up and tried to smile. He's gotten used to Shouto saying his given name. He still felt warm whenever he heard it. So, he responded in kind. "Shouto." It's silly, but here they were sitting beside each other, and he just didn't know what to say. He wanted to thank Shouto, but he also wanted to apologize for being a failure. Then there was that hopeless part of him, that just never wanted to look at anything but Shouto, because Shouto was precious. "I meant it." Izuku blinked, torn out of his thoughts. "You did well." And he wanted to protest, to scream and cry, because it was the opposite. He didn't do well, and he should have down better, and why was he thinking about that little girl and her blond curls, floa- But he did well, argued another part of him. Because Shouto spoke those words with so much genuineness and how did Izuku have the right to doubt him? It hurt to think, to decide, but he already knew something. One thing. And that's why he grasped the other's hand. He didn't want to let go. "It's okay to take little steps. You know that the best, Izuku." So, he decided to speak up, even though it didn't have anything to do with the water (but in a twisted way, it had everything to do with the water). It were words he was long overdue on saying.

"You have to turn left, Sero-kun." "I know!" Laughter and singing filled the van, and Ochako couldn't be happier. Such a vacation was a good idea, and she loved the atmosphere surrounding them. Even Bakugou seemed happier, and that had to mean something (considering he had a frown on his face). Her eyes wandered to the back, were Izuku and Shouto were sitting beside each other, their fingers entwined and a peaceful expression on both their face. With a smile she moved a bit closer, and took her phone out. She had seen the way, both used the remaining time of the third day's and the morning of the fourth to play around with the sand, or talk someone into a game of volleyball, even though they should have been packing (everyone ignored it, because they couldn't remember the last time Izuku seemed genuinely happy). But she also has seen the way they never stopped holding hands, and definitely the little kiss behind the van. Slowly, Shouto opened his eyes and looked up into her brown eyes. "You really lucked out, Shouto-kun?" He smiled gently, before looking at the head resting on his left shoulder. "Yes... more than I deserve." And even if it wasn't fully a confession of love, they had time, and devotion (so, so much of it, that she was stunned whenever she saw it). Looking at that expression for a moment, she glanced away. It would take time for him to get over that experience. But at least he finally took a step into something else. Something that would do him good.

"I never left."

Notes: What I probably should mention, is that the two sentences at beginning and ending are the words, Izuku says to Shouto and Shouto’s respone, in the part where Izuku admitted that he was overdue on saying them.

[vocaotome]

A META ON THE CRAZINESS THAT IS KATSUKI YUURI AND HIS STUBBORN ASS SET ON RETIRING

I’ve seen a lot of people write metas on wtf actually happened during the last 2 episodes of Yuri!!! on ICE and Yuuri’s frustrating decision to retire, but so far I haven’t managed to 100% agree with any of them so I wrote my own! 

In this meta I’ll try to answer the following questions (and no, “anxiety made him do it!!!” isn’t a magic answer), discussing almost everything solely from Yuuri’s POV:

-When exactly did Yuuri start seriously considering retirement? And why? Why didn’t he consider the option of working under another coach?

-Why did he decide to tell Victor only the day before the final, even though Victor deserved to know it much earlier as his coach and boyfriend?

-Why did he buy pair rings and exchange them in a location that clearly expressed his romantic intentions towards Victor when on the next day he was planning to ask Victor to go back to Russia, ending their professional relationship and severely straining the personal one?

Okay, so you guys remember the first episode?

Yuuri is NOT a quitter. Boy is actually competitive as fuck, and he actually gets annoyed when people automatically assume that he’s weak enough to freak out and retire over one failure. He isn't thinking of retirement here yet, but still he’s grieving for Vicchan and is highly upset over his performance. At this point he didn’t have any solid plans about the exact path to take., and after he fucks up and fails to qualify for worlds, he severs his bonds with Celestino but he still doesn’t completely given up.  

For the next few months Yuuri is frustrated intensely by the fact that he finally got be on the same playing field as his idol and made a complete mess of that chance, and it’s not possible for him to think of stopping at such a low point. He fights his depressed feelings by skating Stammi Viccino with a thought process that was probably something like “if I can skate Victor’s routine I probably still am worth something, right?”  When he skates the routine in front of Yuko he still is trying to be positive, and if left alone he probably would’ve chosen to continue skating even without any outside intervention, though it would’ve taken him some time to finish his soul-searching.  We’ll never know, because soon after that Victor appears, dick out in the onsen and all, and offers to be his coach and he's like fkhdgsfkdfj!!!

Before I continue further let me classify three facets of Victor that we see in this show: 

Victor the skater, Victor the coach, and Victor the person. 

When Yuuri interacts with Victor in ep2 he’s mostly treating Victor as the first one, the idol he has always looked up to, and his initial reaction is glee and joy because Victor! Freaking! Nikiforov! says I inspired him! He's so close to me!!! I get to see him skate at my childhood rink!!! What a time to be alive!

But with Victor here, new problems arise. Yuuri actually has to pick concrete, timed goals now instead of just “someday”, and as one of my friends at the yoi discord server pointed out, Yuuri tends to get nervous when shit gets real, and having your lifelong idol as your coach is as real as things get. To make things worse, Victor starts to appear inconsistent in his offer to help. Mid ep2 he proposes the Onsen on Ice event that would decide which Yuri’s request he prioritizes. Considering how Yuuri treated him kinda distantly after he dropped everything to answer Yuuri's request to coach him, this might be him trying to see if Yuuri really wants him here (something like “Was he not serious when he asked me to be his coach? I’m not forcing into his life without his consent, am I?”), and/or him being salty, and/or him trying to rouse Yuuri’s competitive spirit. But let’s ignore that since Victor isn’t the focus here. 

Look at Yuuri’s face when Victor says “Sure” to Yurio’s declaration about what he wants if he wins (Victor going back to Russia with him and becoming his coach). Him agreeing to return to Russia if Yurio wins really shook Yuuri up, I think. Making Yuuri compete for Victor even though Victor had declared that he's gonna be Yuuri’s coach just in the last episode made Victor appear to be an amazingly flighty guy who changes his mind very easily, from Yuuri’s perspective. (I thought the same back then, ngl. I know he had faith that Yuuri would win and the Nishigoris’ comments had also convinced him that using Yuuri’s competitiveness is a good idea, but why even put that up to chance??? Can you imagine the mess it would’ve turned into if Yurio won?) 

It made him think that amazing as Victor may be, he can disappear at any point if Yuuri makes a mistake (way to convince the poor guy of your sincerity, Victor =.=), and he shouldn’t expect Victor to stay here any longer than absolutely necessary- which, he assumes, would be the Grand Prix Final.

The earliest he mentions retirement is mid ep2, then he confirms it again in ep3 at the end of Onsen on Ice (thoroughly confusing because dude you just won??? why???), and towards the end of ep4 he talks about this season being his last again. He's still bitter over Sochi, he desperately wants to properly utilize the short time Victor will be by his side to redeem himself this season since our boy is hella competitive. He refuses to go down as the skater who qualified for the final only once and retired after fucking up. He doesn’t begrudge Victor for not promising a long-term commitment because Victor’s the living legend, of course he needs to go back eventually. But while he’s here Yuuri wants to learn all he can from Victor, and express that through his own skating, so that he can both regain his own pride and prove to the world that Victor's precious time wasn’t wasted.

Now one may ask, why not continue even longer then??? He’s 23 at this point and doesn’t have any injuries holding him back, so he can still go for several years. 

Because continuing means there's another chance of messing up. He might be able to do well this season, he knows that it’s very unlikely to do as bad as Sochi. But if he continues for a longer time without Victor by his side he might do worse than this season and he doesn't want that. He wants to leave on a high note. He tries to convince himself winning a gold with Victor's help is the most he can do, setting a bigger goal is like setting himself up for failure, LET'S PLAY IT SAFE.

A part of him probably must be pissed by this because Yuuri hates compromises, just look at his face in the above pic when he’s told to downgrade his free skate, no wonder he doesn’t obey Victor in the end. But his low self-esteem and anxiety manage to convince him somehow that no matter how much he hones his skills, there’s no telling when his nerves will betray him, so he shouldn’t bite off more than he can chew. 

Over the course of the series his confidence grows and he begins to regain his love for skating, but it's still not enough to make him rethink his plans to retire. He now views Victor with an exasperated fondness as the latter takes baby steps towards being a good coach and they manage to be a good team, and he no longer thinks Victor is flighty enough to randomly leave (as proven in his “I know!” during the garage scene when Victor tries to convince that he wasn’t serious in his threat to resign), but they never had a proper conversation about their future plans after the GPF and he has no reason to think Victor, the living legend, will completely give up his chance to go back to skating. 

(This pic is here simply because it’s too pure for this world and needs to be included in every meta post.)

Yuuri also gets to know Victor as a person during this period and after the cup of China their relationship takes a more intimate turn, but while that bolsters his confidence in some ways, it also gives him a new reason to panic. He had always been ready to let go of Victor the coach at the end of GPF, but when the Makkachin thing happens and they're forced to stay apart, he's hit full force by the extent of his yearning for Victor and and is torn by the idea of losing both Victor the coach and Victor the person in near future. 

When they were reuniting in ep9, Yuuri’s request to take care of him until he retires kinda confused me tbh because Yuuri knows that Victor definitely is staying until GPF at least??? I saw the scene as him being kinda desperate and not thinking very clearly at that moment. I think he was actually planning to explain his reasoning for retirement and then ask Victor to be his coach until he retired, but he ended up doing the second part first, resulting in a case of word vomit that from Victor’s POV sounds very much like a request "please say that you want to stay forever" (and is probably the true wish in Yuuri’s heart that he will not allow himself to want). He doesn’t backtrack on his words, which probably is because he probably thinks that Victor also expects him to retire at the end of this season (after worlds), Chris did say there were rumors of Yuuri’s retirement circling around. Otherwise this seems like an overly aggressive demand like "please give up your skating career for mine", since he hasn't told Victor about how soon he plans to retire yet? I don’t think Yuuri would do that on purpose, and probably doesn’t realize how Victor took his words until the next moment.

Note that when Victor wishes that Yuuri never retires before Yuuri has a chance to bring up his plans of early retirement and makes him lose the chance to explain himself by showing giddiness at the prospect of being able to coach him indefinitely, Yuuri gets teary. This is him realizing that yes, Victor is indeed willing to give up his career for Yuuri ("killing" Victor the skater), Victor is willing to make such a sacrifice because of the personal connection they've developed. That's why he's so bold and downright cheeky in ep10, because he's convinced that Victor the person is willing to be by side for a long time. 

But he also doesn't want Victor to do it like that, Victor the skater was the one who brought them together in the first place and Yuuri loves him. Yuuri is also unaware of Victor's internal troubles, lack of L&L and everything, and has no idea just how much Victor has been enjoying teaching him compared to the time he was competing. A selfish part of Yuuri simply wants to see Victor on the ice regardless of all circumstances, so I think he might have tried to convince Victor even if he did know. (I personally don’t think his decision to let Victor go is influenced by outside influences, as it’s been proven in ep6 Yuuri can be selfish in a good way and he doesn’t give a shit about unrelated people’s opinion at all. Yuuri himself wants to see Victor skate again, and he’s under the belief that Victor wants the same but is making an emotional decision to do otherwise.)

Yuuri also suffers from imposter syndrome often, and it’s possible that he is convinced that retiring for the sake of "someone like Yuuri" is a massive sacrifice Victor would regret later, and he doesn't want to fuck up their personal relationship if Victor looks back at this decision in the future and feels that Yuuri forced him to retire. So Yuuri cuts off the possibility of that happening by finalizing (almost) his decision to retire, despite how much he still wants to skate and wants to do it by Victor's side. This way even if Victor decides to retire for some reason (Yuuri probably can’t imagine any except age), at least it won’t be Yuuri’s fault.

I was confused why he went for "Victor should stop coaching me and go back to skating, I'm gonna retire" instead of "Victor should stop coaching me and go back to skating, I'm gonna continue with a different coach since I don't wanna hold you back". After some brainstorming, I think letting Victor go and continuing under another coach is a very unappealing option to him for multiple reasons: he’s simply too attached to Victor the coach, even with his flawed ways Victor was still the best thing specifically for Yuuri. Both of them have a co-dependency problem, and Yuuri is aware of his own issues though doesn’t realize how it’s equally bad for both him and Victor. Russia cup proved to him that he can still survive without Victor and isn’t helpless, but he still isn’t confident that he won’t do worse in the next season if he becomes cut off from Victor’s constant, intimate support. Competing under a different coach would definitely do that, with the only possible exception being maybe Yakov...But that’s still too much of a long shot and depends on a bunch of different things (Will Yakov accept a skater from a rival country? Will Victor be allowed to be with Yuuri to give him mental support when he has no official reason to?). If you accept my theory that he wants to go out with a bang, continuing for another season under such unsure and less ideal environment than his current one is too big of a risk for Yuuri without enough reward. EDIT: This meta offers one other plausible reason, which is the possible financial issues Yuuri would have to face if he doesn’t do well enough during his post-Victor years and ends up only damaging his image and losing sponsors. It makes sense considering Yuuri’s tendency to not realize his own potential, it’s possible that sponsors are more than ready to look past his previous season’s failure and totally want to support Japan’s Ace who represented Japan in the GPF two years in a row, but Yuuri would fail to realize that and be much more nervous about being dropped.

Let’s mess up the ep order for a bit to talk about Yuuri and his standards. These are his thoughts during his FS on ep9.

Since he doesn’t believe in himself enough to think he has that much more to offer, he just wants to reach the highest possible goal he thinks is possible for him and stop. This is kinda hilarious yet sad, because Yuuri’s true aim is actually much, much higher. Throughout the whole series it’s clear that ever since the time he used to copy routines together with Yuko, his standards for skating have all been based on Victor. Yuuri has always wanted to be on the same level as Victor, and it doesn’t even end at that.

He wanted to surpass Victor, and even last year (when Victor was still competing!) he had actually aimed for the gold even though he never declared it. But it truly is such a high goal that he can’t say that to anyone, and is mocked by Nishigori when it slips out. This probably why Yuuri admires Yurio, who is a tiny bean but has the guts to declare what Yuuri can’t bring himself to. 

There’s one thing that my thoughts are still unclear about. Yuuri’s original goal wasn’t actually just the gold medal itself (the physical item and the status that comes with it), but the idea of facing Victor, his inspiration, as a true equal. When Yuuri said that he wanted to have Victor step down as a coach in ep9, I first thought that he wanted it because he wanted to go against Victor next season, and was surprised when it turned out to not be the case. This skating season will always be lowkey unsatisfying for Yuuri because Victor is not in it, despite how much he respects his other competitors. In Yuuri’s mind Victor >>>>everyone, so I would expect him to be super frustrated if he retires right before Victor returns, allowing the opportunity to face Victor again slip away. The only reason I can think is deep rooted Sochi trauma that whispers to him that he won’t ever be able to surpass Victor no matter how much struggles for it, and this season is the only time he’ll be able to get the gold. (EDIT: as mentioned above, financial uncertainty might also play a role.)

The two dominating traits that make up Yuuri are so strangely contradictory, but they work together to mess him up: his pride as a hard worker makes him aim for the very best and refuse to do anything half-assedly, and his low self-esteem punishes him if he slips even just a little bit from the extremely high standards he has set for himself. Yuuri has too many conflicting desires as well-he loves Victor the person, Victor the coach, and Victor the skater. He needs all of them but he knows he can't (he's not Victor level extra™ yet), so he chooses to let go of Victor the coach which he thinks will distress Victor the least. (ding ding! WRONG CHOICE) 

Before he does this, he gets the rings which confused me at first because dude, you're planning to practically FIRE Victor tomorrow, is this the right time??? Then I realized that it's possible that the rings both serve their original purpose of being good luck charms and also a statement to Victor that although Yuuri is breaking off their professional relationship, he doesn't want to let go of Victor completely, they are connected by more than just their bond as a coach and a skater. If we look at it like that this was the perfect time to make the statement Yuuri did, nothing softens the blow of huge decision bombs more than trading wedding rings in front of a chapel with a choir singing in the background. XD Also it might not be very clear at first glance, but Yuuri is SHIT at being empathetic. He definitely doesn’t realize how distressing it would be for Victor to be suddenly told “go back to Russia and compete” and the amount of emotional pain he’d experience from being forced into a long-distance relationship without prior notice. Yuuri becomes so caught up in his head that he often fails (remember poor Minami in ep5?) to realize how his decisions can impact others. He’s just satisfied that he has made his intentions clear, and is being lowkey arrogant (even though he doesn’t mean to) that he knows what Victor wants. He probably does know that it would at least ruin the lovey-dovey atmosphere they have going at this moment, so he delays delivering the bad news as much as he can.

However, I think the revelation that he had gotten drunk and danced in the Sochi banquet might have had something to do with his performance the next day. Victor had told him to “Skate the way you like best” just earlier, but instead of doing that he ended up being so obsessed with technical points that he lost points in presentation (just a touch down in the flip won’t lower his score that much). His anxiety might have made him interpret things badly, like “omg I thought Victor came to coach me because he found me inspiring, but in truth it was something else”. Depending on whether he saw all the pics or not/whether he learned about “Be my coach, Victor~”, the “something else” he suspects can be a bunch of things, like Victor found him comical/Victor just wanted sex etc. Anyhow, it might be possible that at the start of ep11 he is afraid that Victor doesn’t think of him seriously as a skater despite Victor’s fondness for him as an individual. Being a skater is a part of Yuuri’s identity that won’t go away even if he retires, his efforts and his accomplishments are a reflection of the person he has been until this point, of his hard-working personality and his dedication. The idea of just being regarded as the funny drunk who made Victor curious would crush him. (This whole paragraph is just my speculation though, I don’t have any evidence for this part.)

I don't think his failure in his SP did much in regards to his plan to retire, the only thing it did was make him more upset than normal because he knows that this is his very last chance to redeem himself and any small mistake is unrecoverable. There’s no “next time”.

However, a bunch of other things did happen to convince him that sending Victor back to the ice was the right choice. Victor kept observing the skaters with far more interest than we’ve ever seen him do, and Yuuri interprets that as Victor longing to go back to competing himself. This is a hasty judgement on Yuuri’s part because Victor never said anything about that. Even after the anime has ended we don’t really know what he was truly thinking then. Even the story writer Kubo has mentioned that she hadn’t decided on what Victor’s thoughts really were, but from the way it was presented (look at his smile! wide, bright eyes!), personally I felt like Victor was less jealous of the other skaters and more appreciative of their unique strengths, the way a coach would be. I do think Victor is being innocently insensitive here, because he really should’ve realized that his gushing might be interpreted differently by Yuuri (even Sara, who was sitting beside them, stared at Victor at this).

I'm kinda glad JJ fucked up his SP (sorry JJ! You're still the king!) because that actually helped Yuuri regain his self-esteem a bit, he couldn't look down on himself from past year without also looking down on JJ, and Yuuri has always been kinder to others than he has been on himself. 

But that still doesn't change his plans to retire, rather it makes him sort of complacent. "I've done well enough, this is as far as I can go, I'll do my best tomorrow and hopefully get the gold now that JJ is a lesser threat, so that I can redeem myself and prove to everyone that Victor didn't waste his time on me". The part of him that hates to compromise must be screaming but the stress from the competition and his anxiety is working together to push it down. 

He shares his plans with Victor that night and is confused at Victor being upset enough to cry, because isn't this the best choice? Doesn’t Victor also want the same thing?? Because of his imposter syndrome issue and his blindness to his own potential he doesn't understand why Victor feels Yuuri quitting is such a shame. 

Like I mentioned before, Yuuri is convinced that Victor was originally planning to stay only until the end of GPF and later changed his mind to stay longer for emotional reasons that Yuuri doesn’t support. Victor is right when he says Yuuri is selfish, he never took Victor’s perspective into account when making his decisions, his focus was on doing what he needed to do to protect his own glass heart. (I find it fascinating how Yuuri doesn't MEAN to be mean -pun, haha- but he ends up doing just that very often because he doesn't have the mental space to care about other people's feelings. Also if my hypothesis on Yuuri taking the Sochi banquet revelation as a negative thing is true, he probably feels like that Victor doesn’t really respect Yuuri’s abilities as a skater as much Yuuri would like him to despite how close they are personally, so he might be lowkey bitter.“You came to Hasetsu to date me and you still can do that, y u so mad”. Also if he knows about the ‘be my coach Victor’ thing, he probably thinks that his drunken appeal was the main reason behind Victor’s decision, not his talent like he had hoped.)

I do think Victor is also to blame for the fact that Yuuri was able to hide his intentions for this long. If Victor was planning to stay with Yuuri for a long time, he should’ve sat together with Yuuri and discussed their plans for the next season waaay before this. Too bad we don’t see the details of their argument afterwards.

Right before his FS Victor tries to be nice and supportive despite how frustrated he is (bless you Victor baby you’re so in love), and Yuuri calls him out on it. He knows Victor is not a conventional coach. He’s savage in his taunts but overly adoring in his praise, and the safe, predictable encouragement he first tried didn’t feel genuine enough to Yuuri, so he complains.

I don’t want to discuss Victor’s POV because that’s not this post’s focus, but I believe Victor was trying to play it safe until this moment because he didn’t want a repeat of China cup and freak Yuuri out. Here Victor is starting to realize that when Yuuri says he wants Victor to be himself, he wants the whole package deal- Victor the person, Victor the coach, and Victor the skater. 

Remember this scene from ep10? See the similarity? Here Yuuri is being all “let me have my dorky boyfriend, you don’t need to act professional just because you’re also my coach”.

Similarly, in ep12, I think the message he’s trying to give is, “Victor the coach has crazy-ass standards because Victor the skater is OP as fuck, don’t stop being your unreasonable self just on my account, I’m not that weak”. Let’s go back to ep5 for a bit to see just how unreasonable Victor really is.

(I’ll let you know that the subs missed the word “at least”. Victor wanted Yuuri to “score in the hundreds at least”. CRAZY MAN.)

Back to ep12. Here Victor sees that Yuuri is actually ready for criticism, that he’s feeling lonely and out of his element because of Victor’s gentleness instead of seeking comfort in it. Yuuri hates being seen as weak (as evidenced in his refusal to heed Victor’s advice to downgrade his jumps in ep5), and Victor decides to take a leap of faith and give Yuuri exactly what Yuuri wanted- a friendly taunt accompanied by positive reinforcement (win and I’ll kiss your gold medal) instead of negative like his failed attempt in china (fail and I’ll resign). It was his way of showing Yuuri the believes in Yuuri even more than Yuuri believes in himself, just how Yuuri asked him to back in ep7.

He uses the word “break”, hinting to Yuuri that he might return (thus giving Yuuri a hint that regardless of how he does in the FS, he won’t need to feel responsible for Victor’s decision), and also the phrase “warm-up mode” (implying that he still believes that everything Yuuri has done so far still isn’t his best, and he can do more). His tone throughout the speech is teasing, not like “why do you suck so bad”, rather “I can’t believe someone so damn good that I, THE LIVING LEGEND, chose him hasn’t won yet, this is ridiculous, give me your 100%”. Yuuri notices that and cracks up, look at him so happy. ;;

“Oh my god my boyfriend/coach/idol is so ridiculous in his demands, I love this man”

And Yuuri goes and skates a flawless program, and gives Victor that 100% he had asked for. There are a couple things to note in his monologue during his routine, many of which are the basis for the earlier parts of this post. Although he tweaked his routine for a higher difficulty, he doesn’t obsess over the points this time, he just clears his mind and focuses on presenting his tribute to all the love in his life, Victor being featured in a considerable portion of it.  

During this last chance, he finally once again chases the goal he had given up since Sochi, to be on equal standing as Victor. He also admits that he doesn’t truly want to stop, and wants to continue skating with Victor and his loving support.

But he can’t keep Victor the coach without killing Victor the skater, so he chooses to let the former go. 

However, he does greatly love and appreciate Victor the coach, so he’s determined to display the results of Victor’s efforts through his skating, to all the people who have kept mocking Victor about him not being serious enough.

Once his performance is over, Yuuri is glad that he managed to give his 100% and didn’t let his nerves get the better of him, but it distraught because this is the end. (Still no explanation why he has to retire himself, though)

Or so he thinks. Yuuri is forced to rethink his life choices when he ends up breaking Victor’s world record.

Look at his expression here. Like “HOLY SHIT, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GIVE MY 100%?!” Even Yuuri, with his massive self-esteem issues, can’t help but see his own potential at this point. Undermining himself after he has broken Victor’s world record is basically undermining Victor himself, and Yuuri would rather jump off a cliff before that. The only thing that could make him happier was being able to truly be on the same playing field as Victor which becomes a possibility when Victor hints to a desire to return to skating competitively.

Victor’s body language in these frames is so important here. I think Victor has realized by this point that unless he gets the chance to face Victor as an equal, Yuuri will never get complete closure and get past his perceived failure from the previous year. Victor doesn’t just glomp Yuuri, he first shakes Yuuri's hand and then pulls him into a one-armed hug.  Yuuri’s being shown that he’s being taken seriously as a fellow skater, congratulated with a formal handshake by Victor the skater, not just his coach+ boyfriend. Even when he does hug Yuuri, he’s still holding onto Yuuri’s hand. Look how ecstatic Yuuri is when Victor claims that Yuuri breaking his record was "ultimate diss as a competitor". Just look at that smile. "I MANAGED TO GET VICTOR TO CONSIDER RETURNING" is so much more important to him than "I MIGHT GET A GPF GOLD".  My guess is that until now he simply didn't think he could accomplish anything special by continuing, but not only does he feel more hopeful about what he can do, but Victor appreciates him as a competitor! Hurrah! Since he’s Katsuki Yuuri the king of lowkey assholes, I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought something like “Victor is feeling frustrated because of me! I want to frustrate him more by breaking his world record again if he manages to take it back!”

Note how Yuuri doesn't worry about the score of the skaters who skated after him at all, no "oh crap if skater X gets more than this specific number of points I won't get the gold medal" which is odd since the gold medal was a real possibility at that moment, normally people would worry (like how JJ did about Otabek). It was like the gold medal itself mattered less to Yuuri than being on the same level as Victor. He managed to successfully skate a flawless program on the same difficulty level as Victor with a perfect quad flip as the cherry on top, and that was enough to calm him down for the moment.

The happenings of ep12 chip at his plan to retire bit by bit. Recognition from Victor as a worthy competitor convinces him that there might be worth in returning after all. Seeing abandoned Makkachin tissue box hits him with the reality that Victor won't be his coach anymore, it simultaneously breaks his heart and reminds him that he can make his dream to skate against again Victor a reality if he just fights against his self-deprecating notions a bit harder.

And of course Yurio's performance-during the later half of which we didn’t get Yuuri POV so I can't say exactly how, but it inspired him enough even before the results got announced. Each of the pics above have Yuuri's eyes sparkling indicating strong emotions (though you can't tell from the still screenshots).

I think the main two things Yurio manages to do are this:

1. Yuuri put his 100% into Yuri on ICE, but Yurio put his 120% in the way he added an extra quad and did many jumps with his hands raised. Remember, Yurio’s stamina is pretty meh, boy almost broke down after he was done. He shows Yuuri that his “I can’t do any better than this” thinking is BS, and Yuuri becomes curious what he himself can do if he continues and puts his 120% next time.

2. Yurio also showed to Yuuri in a shounen manga style that there are still many worthy opponents™ for him on the ice and he couldn’t afford to become complacent just because he had established a world record. Also Yurio changing up his jumps and overexerting himself to match Yuuri’s FS also shows him that he is also being regarded as a worthy opponent™ in Yurio’s eyes and gives him even more of a confidence boost. EDIT: This point is covered in more detail in this lovely meta also about Yuuri’s motivation behind not retiring!

2. Yurio gets the gold, and the loss of the gold medal by such a small margin simply lights a fire on Yuuri’s ass. XD 0.10 point is such a cursed amount, it’s so small that Yuuri can’t hate on himself for not performing well enough, but still it made him lose the gold. Though during the opening ceremony Yuuri looks more or less satisfied, the way he had been soooo close must have been vexing. 

TBH Yuuri’s main problem (at least imo) still hasn’t been solved at this point. If he continues, he will have to take on the challenge of competing without Victor’s constant support. But for the first time in a long time, he’s feeling confident enough to do it, and trying to at least do his part to lessen the co-dependency thing he and Victor have going on. 

I’ve seen people interpret this as Yuuri asking Victor to be his coach for one more year and I’m super confused, is it a dubbing issue? Because the sub shows it clearly that he asked Victor to continue skating, not coaching Yuuri. The Japanese sentence he says is “僕と一緒にあと一年競技生活続けてください=Please continue skating competitively (overly literal translation-‘competitive life’) together with me for one more year”. 

(Look at my baby. So confident. So beautiful. T^T)

He’s literally issuing Victor a challenge here, from one skater to another. Yuuri does still plan to let go of Victor the coach, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love him, and plans to use what he learned from him to beat Victor the skater! Ironic and hilarious =D Victor is like YES GOOD I’m proud of you! Then he drops the bomb:

Yuuri is shook because this is more than he ever expected. Until now he was only confident about their personal relationship which was bound to become a least a bit strained when Victor returned to Russia, but now he’s getting everything he wants. Normally people would be worried that that’s too much for a person, but I guess Yuuri has such a high opinion of Victor that he immediately accepts that Victor can pull it off. This is one case where Yuuri’s hero-worshipping and lack of ability to see things from other people’s perspective is useful, lol. One other reason he isn’t blaming himself is that this is totally coming from Victor. Unlike last time where Victor agreed to drop his career in favor of Yuuri’s thanks to Yuuri’s poorly timed request, here Victor is taking on the extra load purely out of his own will. Competing separately would’ve definitely been better than just Yuuri retiring and Victor continuing, but the amount of time they could spend together on a personal level would’ve decreased either way ( depending on what Yuuri would’ve done after retiring/how his new coach would’ve managed his time). Victor is being selfish here, refusing to give up his pupil to another coach and not willing to end up in a long distance relationship with his boyfriend.

Victor makes it even easier for him by issuing his own challenge: I’ll work hard to keep your request but get me 5 gold medals from Worlds in return! While utterly ridiculous and halfway likely to not come true (there are so many possible unknowns-injuries,illnesses,family issues), the demand shows Yuuri the level of faith Victor has in him, and he agrees.

With that, Yuuri finally is assured that he will be able to physically stay by the side of his idol/coach/boyfriend for a long, long time, which is something they BOTH want, and that’s why he’s so calm and happy when they’re being lovey-dovey on the ice later at the exhibition. “Stay close to me”, indeed!

And with that I’m officially out of juice, phew. I’ll see if I can edit this later to make it more compact and improve the flow, I think I stated many points more than once because I tried to stay mostly chronological. 

ALL HAIL VICTUURI!!!

[life-love-and-alcohol]

Fic prompt/request! Yuuri working in a post office, sorting hundreds of fan mail/love letters to someone called Victor Nikiforov who also constantly orders packages from pet store online and picks them up weekly... Yuuri would rather die than admit anyone he has his address memorized

Hello!! Thank you so much for requesting this, best idea ever *cries*. I don’t really know how post offices work tbh, so if I messed up then I’m so sorry XD you can point out my ignorance MORE UNDER THE CUT (if you are on mobile I’m so sorry, maybe you can try copying the link into your browser), or read it at my AO3 account: http://archiveofourown.org/users/justmeandmysillystuff :D 

One could naturally assume that working at a post office wasprobably the most boring, monotonous job on earth: just checking names and addresses,sorting packages, and delivering letters from grannies that lived less than tenblocks away from each other. There could be nothing more tedious and uninterestingthan that, right? Such a dreary life a post office employee must have, right?Wrong. So wrong. Just ask Yuuri Katsuki and he’ll tell you otherwise. Two years of experience, three daily coffees, the acquired ability to look atsomeone in the eye and tell them “your package got lost in Singapore”, andabout fifty stamps memorized. All of that, for the miserable wedge of a public worker,which was barely enough to pay for his rent and the bread and the cream cheese insidehis fridge. If that wasn’t intense, then he didn’t know what it was (maybe “miserable”was the word he was looking for). It wasn’t as bad, honestly. He was just easily-stressed. Taking out the wholefinancial kind of mailing, it was actually interesting to check what peoplesent. From pen-friends to wedding invitations, and his favorite bunch ofletters that came in every December starting with “Dear Santa”, there wasalways something fun to go through. His co-worker and friend Phichit was alwaysthere to laugh at the dramatic break-up mails. There was especially aparticular guy with quite a ridiculous surname who wrote weekly letters to acertain “Anya” who never really answered back. Phichit liked to joke sayingthat the woman was probably dead already and that the guy was just delirious,but Yuuri didn’t think so. He had read other love-struck fan-mail before, andhad learnt that love could really make people stupid. The best part of the job though, was the stuff some other people ordered online.Seriously, he had seen some weird shit. Including that woman who ordered about three garden gnomes on the same month,and that guy who asked his brother who lived in Colombia to send him oneSPECIFIC brand of beans weekly. Not to mention the sex toys. Boy, the amount ofdildos he had delivered. Phichit insisted it wasn’t humanly possible someone couldprobably stick that anywhere, but thelabel said “the only limit was imagination” so he really was in no place toquestion it. It was always really funny whenever someone ordered sex toys.Dildo days were good days. However, those weren’t nearly Yuuri’s favorite orders. There was a certain someone who did way too many purchases of pet suppliesonline. And by too many,  it meant TOOMANY. Being a dog owner himself, Yuuri knew no pet could possibly need so manychewing toys, about three different little beds, and an entire fun-size wardrobe.How much money could someone actually waste on that? He had kept wondering forweeks. It was expensive, it was ridiculous, and it was impossible to ignore. But even more impossible, was to ignore the buyer. The first time he ever saw him, he almost choked on his second daily coffee. Phichithad been absent for the day, so he had the double amount of work, and he wascertainly not waiting for that time of the day when people got out of theirrespective jobs and actually had time to worry about their mail. It was barelypast midday, and they rarely got a long queue waiting at those hours, so he wasn’tpanicking yet. He was sorting some packages out, separating national frominternational, and way too busy to acknowledge the world around him. It wasonly natural he only noticed a client had walked in once his long, pale fingerswere already drumming against the counter expectantly, and Yuuri almost jumpedout of his skin as soon as he saw that handsome, foreign man with the fancyhaircut. Now, to say he was attractive was an understandment. But just how attractive could someone possiblybe?? That face was, under Yuuri’s criteria, impossible. It broke any kind of measurementlimits he could have ever thought about. He had long lashes, shiny silver hair,and his eyes were the bluest shade of blue he had ever witnessed. And hissmile, damn, his smile! It lit up thegloomy post office like a lighthouse! Yuuri would have to say sorry to whoever ordered that British brand ofbiscuits, since he was currently crushing the package in his hands. “Good afternoon!” His accent, for fuck’s sake “Could you check if my packagecame in yet, please?” He was thankful he actually worked in autopilot by then, since he knew hewouldn’t have been able to answer otherwise. “Oh, ehm…sure. What’s your name, sir?” “Nikiforov. Viktor Nikiforov” Viktor Nikiforov.Suddenly everything made much more sense. For the past months, Yuuri had had to deliver a scary amount of head-over-heelslove letters; all directed to someone whose name was, ironically, Viktor damnNikiforov. When they first started coming he didn’t understand. Who was thatperson, and how had he seemingly started his own religion within a few weeks?People messaged him with such devotion he had at first thought “Nikiforov” wassome kind of parish club; but after he read a few letters, he understood he wasnothing but the town’s new heartache. It was odd for someone to cause such acommotion, really hard to believe.But that early afternoon, with that flawless, porcelain angel face staring athim from across the counter, Yuuri had been enlightened. And he couldn’tbelieve he had been able to keep his hands from writing a letter himself. After that day, in which he clumsily handed him his packaged sparkly feedingbowl and made him sign the papers, Viktor started to reappear at the officevery frequently. He became one of the regular characters that came at certaindays and at a certain hour to retire a certain kind of mail, and he awoke onthe poor public employee a certain kind of reaction. Whenever he saw someonehad ordered something from “EverythingForYoutPet.com”, Phichit could hear himhumming happily as he sorted the letters, since he knew that meant Viktor wouldeventually come to pick it up. It was always the same: almost once a week an absurd chew toy or some expensivecanine shampoo would arrive. At around 3 PM, he would hear the door opening,and the sweet sing-song of a polite “Good afternoon, Yuuri!” would make himmess up with a package or two. He would always gift him the kindest ofheart-shaped smiles, he would try to initiate gracious small talks that Yuuriwas far too shy to properly follow, and he would be very nice and thankfulabout the service, even if his order wasn’t delivered on time. Was that maneven real? Yuuri was seriously beginning to question it. Maybe he was just ahallucination from an overdose of caffeine.But it couldn’t have been a hallucination, not when he actually heard the soundof the closing door echoing so clearly through the post office every time heleft. And not when it truthfully hurt so much to see him go. Also, Phichit could also see him…so he couldn’t have just been a mirage. Hisfriend could see him enough to consider him a teasing matter and would alwayselbow Yuuri mockingly whenever the man came around. However, one day things turned out to be rather different. Yuuri knew something was wrong as soon as he heard the door opening. Itscreeched, doing that old wooden noise it always did when opened, since no oneever cared to oil it. It never did that noise when it was Viktor walking inthough. Almost as if the door knew, as if it were aware of who it was grantingaccess to, and decided to act as politely as the man itself. Yet, that day it did creak. And loudly. 

Secondly, there wasthe look on his face: dark bags under his pretty eyes, his hair a mess, and adrop of swear daring to cross his glorious forehead. And thirdly, there wasno: “Good afternoon, Yuuri” as he walked in.“Did my packagecome in yet?” He leaned over the counter, sighing heavily, and pinchingthe bridge of his nose.“Package?”Yuuri would obviously remember if a package for him had arrived. But he checkedanyways, just in case, and for the man not to notice he actually was receivingespecial attention “Uhm, no, sorry. We have no mail for you”The look on his facecaused physical pain to the sight.“Are yousure?” He insisted, trying to keep his voice neutral, but it was actuallyon the tight rope between anger and cracking. When he saw Yuuri nodding inconfirmation, he sunk his head between his hands “Oh no…what am I goingto do now??“ Yuuri didn’t quiteunderstand the calamity of the situation. For what he could tell, the manordered nothing but useless accessories for his dog. What could possibly havehim so upset?? "Don’t worry, ifit got lost they won’t take so long to find it…maybe around a week”What had been adesperate soothing attempt, ending up having quite the opposite effect. And thepained gasp the news squeezed out from his pretty heart-shaped mouth was themost devastating noise Yuuri had ever heard. Even worse than the screeching ofthe door.“One week?? Ican’t wait one week!” He exclaimed, covering his mouth “My dog issick and I ordered some foreign medicine they don’t sell here…he needs totake it now! Please, if there’s anything you can do to speed up the process, Ibeg you! I’ll pay anything!”Yuuri stood still,struck by empathy right into the core, seeing himself and his Vicchan reflectedon the man’s eyes. God, if something ever happened to his own dog he didn’tknow what he would do. He adored his pet, he would probably sail sky and earthin the search for that package. And he suddenly felt miserable for being just auseless, boring post office worker.Speechless, since hereally didn’t have any words of consolation that weren’t actually lies, hewalked to the office’s computer to try to check if there was any data of thepackage’s location on the archive. He searched for Viktor’s name, and found thedocument of the order but no clue on where the package was at. It just said ithad been “delivered”. Yuuri bit his lip, notknowing what to say to a heartbroken fellow dog owner, when he suddenly noticedsomething. “Themedicine…” He whispered, eyes fixed on the screen, rereading thedescription of the order “That medicine!!”“Uh??”Viktor didn’t understand.“I have thatmedicine at home!! I ordered it a few years ago when my own dog was sick!”He exclaimed, smiling in a way he had forgotten he could, and turning on thelights on Viktor’s eyes again “I still have half of it at home!" "For real??”The man clapped his hands, almost as a silent pray, and Yuuri could see himmouth a thanks god under his breath.“Yes, come on! Ilive two blocks away!” He grabbed him by the sleeve of his coat, pullinghim out of the post office, barely remembering to warn his co-worker before heleft “Phichit, cover me! I’ll be right back!!" Viktor ran rightbehind him, following him around the chilly streets of the city, finding thehold of his determinate hand to be the only source of heat. By the time theyreached the small apartment, both their breaths were heaving and their nosesred and sticky, and Yuuri’s fingers were so numb he could barely hold his keys.He opened the door andrushed inside, emptying his whole cabinet in one single movement, while Vicchanstared at him confusedly from aloof. "Is it thisone??” he held a small blue box out for Viktor, and he swore his eyes werealmost watery.“Oh my god, yesit is!” He exclaimed. But instead of reaching out to hold the medicine, heheld Yuuri in a tight hug instead “Thank you so, so much!! You are anangel!!!" It was only then, withboth the cold he still carried from the street and the worry slowly meltingwithin the embrace, that he realized what he had actually done. Had he really left hiswork shift, pulled a client out from the office, and took him all the way tohis apartment…to save his dog? Well, totally worthit.But it was only thenthat the embarrassment began to sink in. So, when Viktor brokethe hug and gifted him a big, thankful smile, Yuuri’s face was so hot he heatedup the entire apartment.“You didn’t haveto hurry so much, we could have waited till your shift ended” The manlaughed gently, beautifully, melodically, as it couldn’t have been any otherway “But thank you, it means a lot”Yeah, it meant Yuuriwanted to burry himself alive 100km underground. Love, indeed, madepeople stupid.

The next day, or rather thenext night, since it was already late in the evening and Yuuri was leaving thepost office, he said goodbye to Phichit at the door and got mentally ready toface the two blocks of coldness he would have to walk. He was wearing a thickcoat and gloves and a hat, but it didn’t seem to be enough, since everyminuscule patch of skin he couldn’t fully cover, was mercilessly bitten by the icywinter’s wind, and it had poor Yuuri shivering as he stood into the cold.

He was barely two steps outside, when he heard the bark of a dog and it madehim turn his head to the side instinctively. There, standing in the cold, andwearing a colorful striped sweater on top of its already fluffy fur, was arather big poodle staring at him and wiggling his tail.

Yuuri didn’t recognize the dog, since he had never seen it before (even thoughit kind of looked like Vicchan), but he did recognize the sweater. He had seenit in the extended catalogue of “EverythingForYourPet.com”, and he hadpersonally written the address and the name of the person who ordered it in theform, less than a month ago.

“Yuuri!” Viktor called out for him, looking as wonderful as always, with hisshiny hair hidden beneath a red hat that matched his flushed nose and cheeks, andinsisting on giving Yuuri tachycardia with that lovely smile of his.

“Oh, Viktor” He greeted back, bowing his head, turning to look at the dog thatwas now curiously sniffing his shoes “I see he’s feeling better”

“He is! The vet said I should walk him more, that exercise will help”

“I see…” That explained the dog’s presence, but it kind of didn’t explain his “Whatare you doing here though, did you order something again? I’m sorry but I can’tcheck right now, we are already closed”

Viktor kept staring at him with an arched brow for a few seconds, as ifmisunderstandments were contagious, and he couldn’t understand that Yuuri didn’tunderstand. But after he saw the genuine confusion on his big eyes, poppingfrom between the dense wool of his hat and his scarf like headlights, he decidedhe wanted to pull his leg a little bit.

“Oh, what a shame…I really had an important thing to send” He faked a pout, notbeing really good at acting, but Yuuri being even worst at grasping hints.

“Oh no, for real??” He blinked, trying to keep his eye’s moist safe from thebrute cold “I can’t open the office, I don’t have the key…Are you in such ahurry? Can’t it wait till tomorrow morning?”

“Hmm, I’m afraid no, it can’t”

“I’m so sorry! Ahg, we just closed! If you had only come two minutes earlierthen…”

“Don’t worry, Yuuri” He chuckled, and a puff of white smoke drew itself on thefreezing air “I don’t need the post office to send it”

“You don’t?” Yuuri frowned, puzzled “I don’t understand…what do you need todeliver so urgently?”

“This”

Before Yuuri could comment he was empty-handed, Viktor had leaned in and haduncovered his mouth from the thick scarf, only to warm it with his own lipsinstead.

It was short, short and chaste, and their lips were dry and cracked from thecold, but it was enough to have Yuuri’s body temperature raising a whole bunchof degrees, and for his heart to beat so fast in his ears he couldn’t even listento Viktor’s words as he spoke next. But he did read his lips:

“Sent” He smirked “Thank you for your services”

Yuuri thought of all the letters, all the dozens of people who had declaredtheir fanatical love to that man, and the amount of times he had debated to writeone himself. But he thought it stupid, he thought he would just toss it away,and he’d become just one more of all the people Phichit made fun of. He hadspent hours writing, crossing out, rewriting…all to crumple the piece of paperinto a ball and throw it away in the end. Deciding there was nothing he couldgive that man that could possibly express what he felt whenever he walked intothe post office.

Apparently, half a bottle of medicine for canines had been enough.

“Is��is this because of the medicine?” He stuttered, looking at him indisbelief.

“No” Viktor giggled, fixing his hat for him “It’s because of your kindness.Would you like to come home for dinner? I don’t live far away, I live at…”

“Yeah, I know where you live” He didn’t realize just how creepy that soundeduntil he had put it in words “I MEAN, I KNOW YOUR ADRESS BECAUSE OF THEPACKAGES! I DIDN’T STALK YOU, I SWEAR”

This time, Viktor openly laughed, causing Makkachin to bark merrily too as hewiggled his tail, and Yuuri thought he had never been so close to crying outfrom mere embarrassment.

“I see…” Viktor took his gloved hand in his, smiling fondly and rolling hiseyes “I was planning to guide you” He said, pointing at their intertwined hands“But it seems you don’t need me to do that”

Yuuri bit his lip, deciding he had already humiliated himself to a point of noreturn and there was no use in holding back.

“We can pretend I do” He whispered, squeezing his hand.

Viktor didn’t need to be asked twice.

And so they walked hand in hand, with a very much excited Makkachin jumpingaround, towards that familiar address that Yuuri had only dreamt about outside fromall the packages and letters. 

yes, this is eteranal, I know, and Im sorry 

[empressarisu]

A lot of people have been posting their fic recs lately, so i'm curious. what's YOUR top 10 yoi fics? ;)

Oh… my god.. /sweats nervously/  okay.. so I just have to sift through the hundreds of fics I’ve read and pick just 10 of them??? hahah..hahaha.. easy enough.. (it wasn’t) :””””) i spent more than an hour trying to decide on these anon, how could u make me do this…. jk jk ilu but this was so hard :((

My top 10 Yuri on Ice fanfics (and why) as of 3/17/17:(in no particular order)

On My Love by RikoJasmine || @min-min-minnie

For the second time, the Sochi Grand Prix Finals arrive, and with it a reborn Yuuri Katsuki. “Viktor,” Yuuri thinks over the pounding of his heart, the crowd going silent as the music begins. “I’ll show the world what you meant to me.”

Yuuri often thinks of his life as Before and After Viktor Nikiforov, the marking point being the day Viktor swept into his life and turned his world upside-down. After many years together, an accident leads to Yuuri suddenly waking up in the Before—back in Detroit, before the GPF, before he ever knew Viktor as anything other than his childhood idol.

As if it had all been just a dream.

Ngl, this is my absolute fave fic. I’m a sucker for time travel AUs and the writing is just so?? beautiful?? There’s so much angst, but so much fluff as well. (Gods know I almost died from the latest update, it was just so cute) So, if you’re apprehensive in reading this because of the heavy angst, let me just tell you right now that it gets better and it’s worth it. 

katsuki_fc wrote by tetsurashian

Just because Yuuri isn’t big on social media, doesn’t mean his fans aren’t.

(aka a social media fic)

Yuri on Ice + social media? Count me the fuck in. It made me nostalgic for my LJ days from back then too. Ah good times.. It’s basically reliving all the feels and emotions we had when watching yoi. :”) I reread this from time to time because I just never get tired of it!

all the world’s a stage by braveten || @actualyuuri

Everyone has a guilty pleasure.

For Yuuri, it just happens to be romance movies starring famous heartthrob Victor Nikiforov.

(And, honestly, on the spectrum of guilty pleasures, he figures that his is on the far, far more innocent side.)

Yo… if you haven’t read this fic yet then you’re missing out on life, fam. Lol jkjk but really, this fic is perfection! The story has great flow, on-point characterizations and amazing writing with the right amount of fluff, angst, and smut! 

Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya || @kazliin

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.

I’m pretty sure almost everyone and their cats and dogs and hamsters have already read this fic?? I have never cried so much as I did while I was reading this, and even now, weeks after it ended, I’m still shook and blown away by it. I’m both ready and not ready for the companion fic coming out this March 26. (Mark your calendars, folks!) 

You Can’t Plan for Everything by RivDeV || @contentwhatcontent

Yuuri forgets that he has a scheduled heat coming up until it’s just a couple weeks away. He scrambles to get everything ready in time, including deciding whether he’ll spend it alone or with someone. Victor only wants to help.

AKA. The slowest of the slowest burn in the history of fanfics ever, but the burn is so good. I know that people have mixed feelings about omegaverse, but I firmly believe that people should at least try and read this one. It’s very well written, and also different from most ABO fics I’ve read. It throws most of the ABO tropes/cliches out the window. 

Kings in Couture by slightlied || @forovnix

a devil wears prada au in which victor is the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, yuuri’s his new secretary, and instead of talking about his feelings, victor just sends him on a bunch of errands—“Okay, okay. Ready.” Yuuri starts scribbling as the voice on the other end, someone from the Style and Trends department, relays instructions. “Sorry, can you please spell ‘Gabbana’?”

The person on the line promptly hangs up on him.

Awkwardly, he sets the phone back on the receiver. “Guess not.”

Devil Wears Prada AU. ‘Nuff said. Okay so this is just like 2 chapters right now, but I’m already in love with it and everyone should read it?? Just.. fashion. Katsuki Yuuri and the Jeans™. Read it and you’ll know what I mean. Just do. It has ruined me for life and /deep breaths/… Katsuki Yuuri and the Jeans™

Ink on Ice by Daughter of Vayu (aquaregia) || @aquaregiastuff

Because a mangaka and figure skater just didn’t mix together. Or so people thought until they saw Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov.

AHHHHHHHH, this fic is so good! It just makes my belief true that whatever career Viktor and Yuuri end up in, they’ll always, always end up finding each other and fall in love. They’re just so pure I can’t even-

Like a Fairytale by lucycamui || @lucycamui

In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his ‘Cinderella’ Yuuri.(And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he’s doing).

“The crown prince of the Nikiforov kingdom, infatuated with a mystery pastry chef he’s only just met. This is exactly the kind of scandalous love story my life has been missing… So, what’s he look like? What exactly is Prince Victor’s type?”

“…Sweet.”

“Well, he does make pastries.“

Fluff. Fluff. And oh, have I mentioned the fluff? No? Then… Oh my god the fluff. This is where I run to when the angst gets too much in other fics, tbh. It’s so cute and heartwarming and sweet and perfect and hilarious, and just generally amazing. My heart is bursting with rainbows and fluff.

On ICE!!! by Watermelonsmellinfellon || @helly-watermelonsmellinfellon

The first time Katsuki Yuuri saw Victor Nikiforov perform, he realized he had a great desire to see figure skating in a video game. In fifteen years, his dream is realized. Little does he know that Victor’s attention has been caught by the very game he unknowingly inspired. So ensues the cutest meeting ever and the relationship that follows.

I believe every fandom should have a Video Game AU. :”) Alright so, this is another fic that’s just bursting with fluffiness?? It’s so cute and I’d really sell my soul to get a copy of that video game Yuuri made. I want it so, so bad ugh.. (Oh btw, this author has a lot of great yoi fanfics ya’ll should check it out)

centripetal force by braveten || @actualyuuri

Victor speaks seven languages.

(Physics isn’t one of them.)

Luckily, though, he ends up rooming with his antithesis: a shy, black-haired boy who just so happens to be a physics major.

Is it obvious by now that I’m actual trash for Maddie’s fics. Anyway, this fic is honestly #goals. Oh wait.. Every fic of hers is #goals tbh. Plot, characterization, dialogue, everything. I honestly have no words other than: Amazing, fantastic, beautiful, and wonderful. (Go and read all her fics, yo)

I missed many other wonderful fics, but for now, these 10 are the ones that left a huge impact on me. :”) I’d like to take this moment to thank these wonderful authors for all their hard work in making these amazing fics! Thanks for sharing these gems to us!