#tbf it could also be the whiplash talking

[crashingmeteorz]

writing johnlock (yes yes in the year of Lorde 2024) is such a weird experience. i go back and reread for edits and need to shut my laptop bc it feels like i’m intruding on something so deeply intimate as to be concerning

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

responding to that last ask, i do notice that folks who take P5, and really all the games, a lot less seriously tend to not be bothered by the slapstick humor, even with the emphasis on topics such as physical abuse and societal corruption, so that could be a part of it, especially after seeing the same anime tropes coming up so often and seeing them played more or less the same (that's not meant to be a jab that's just kinda what persona games are) just something i notice since it's typically the most hardcore fans that get the most upset i realize

In all honesty, yeah I've noticed people that take a super casual approach don't really notice issues like more hardcore fans do.

P3/4 have the chibi models to disconnect from reality (as well as more obvious chatter effects and such...imo than P5), and P1/2 sprites even more so. P5 isn't exactly super realistic, but more so than prev games, plus it has the balls to actually criticize the physical/sexual/mental abuse of society.....only to use it as comedy later.

Yeah Persona is pretty anime, and that's fine (I mean I grew up on the Three Stooges so like.....I can go as far as live action slap stick too). It all comes down to framing for me.

Does it do a good job indicating it's slapstick (easier the more cartoonish you get, which is easy for cartoons and anime) ex:

2. (not really a deal breaker in a COMEDY, but if comedy's not the main genre it can be) Is it even? Like does one char always slap stick another, or does the recipient get to slap stick back? Or is it a free for all? (ex: like Angel Beats, Asobi Asobase, and MPGIS is a free for all, Yui/Hinata, Ichigo/Rukia and Ichiko/Momiji like to slap stick each other and are even, but I don't like Sakura punching Naruto bc sometimes he doesn't even deserve it and she's not exactly a great char herself TT0TT it gets tiring having it be so one sided...most of these barring Bleach and Naruto are comedies or a dramady like Angel Bleach are so.....yeah TT0TT Kinda skewed but still)

3. (this is def a big problem I have with P5, but I'm sure it's not the only one with this issue) Cake and eating it problem/tonal dissonance: They medium has a message that would....make slap stick unfortunate. Like it's a really hard line and you'll have to really land the dark comedy. Angel Beats can thread this very well.....P5 doesn't. Tbf AB is part comedy, it can be a dark comedy (I mean it's gonna have to be when it's a coming of age story about dead children). P5.....doesn't spend a lot of time on humor (which isn't bad in theory), but when it DOES it's........unfortunate. It just doesn't mesh well.

Maybe if it leaned MORE into the anime it would've lessened the blow. Wait no scratch that, I know what happens when you do that. You get P4 anime. orz

"Oh Silly, you're the only one that doesn't like it! It's beloved!" Hahahahahahaahaaaaaa oh. OH I know. But there's one scene that I KNOW people hated, cause they hated it when it airs, and NO ONE talks about it. It's the Kanji dungeon segment/episode. When you try to go full anime slap stick you get tonal whiplash instead (which is P4 anime's problem, esp with the new original humor and putting in humor where it was a more serious moment). So I'm afraid that also would happen to P5 if they went that route.....orz

But analyzing my own feelings and where my brain draws the line aside.

Yeah it's probs that the devs are just throwing anime tropes in there bc......those tropes are funny right? Haha? Not realizing the narrative disconnect it makes when it does happen. TT0TT

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 14 - Belgium

So I remember sweet f all from Spa, bc I’m pretty sure that was around the time of both family stress, and my parents catching covid, so this and the next two races are total blanks to me bc I was both not on tumblr much and didn’t watch any of Channel 4 highlights.

(I mean I’m also running on the assumption that Verstappen won bc that’s almost all he did last year).

So let’s just jump in and hope Seb and Lewis had a somewhat fun time

I am highkey dreading this race, Zandvoort and Monza bc I have NO IDEA what happened so like these combined could be six hours I never get back

at least Seb looks pretty in the intro

As I also watched Spa 2021 I’m glad I have context for whatever that race was.

ANYWAY, starting grid:

Mick P19 :(

why the fuck is Charles in 15th????

NICKY P11, GOATIFI

Seb and Lance top 10 😭🙌

how on Earth did Alex get 6th in quali?! (I mean, the ultimate good for him, but HOW?!)

I’m really going to have to start looking up quali results before I press play to avoid all this whiplash bc I didn’t even notice Sainz on pole aovhaeog

[Start/Lap 1]: Perez almost driving into Alonso at the start aegehg 

“A brilliant start from Sebastian Vettel” THAT’S MY BOYYYYYYYYY

oh fuck me Lewis on Fernando violence

so Lewis does not have a fun time in this race then 😭

The racing gods giveth (Seb up into P5) and the racing gods stab you in the chest (Lewis DNF)

[Lap 2]: The way you can literally see the Ferrari bouncing up and down the straight. Yikes.

NICKY NO don’t take out Val like that

cut to a solitary Lewis by his car. Does not spark any joy.

Thank fuck we have a replay bc WHAT WERE THOSE TWO LAPS?!

Seb’s start was bloody gorgeous though. KING SHIT.

but yeah... no F1 car should be flung up into the air like that with any kind of contact.

Oh not even Lance and Seb being violent on the first lap. Everyone left their braincells at home it seems.

[Lap 4]: Charles making his first pit stop bc pain I guess????

Seb being in 5th is the race’s only saving grace rn

...there was a tear off in one of Charles’ front breaks is2g I’ll start causing violence next

right safety car coming in, I paused to grab some chocolate for emotional support snacking.

oh boy Charles doing his own strategy calls and you know what I trust him more than the Ferrari pitwall

[Lap 5]: Perez v Russell v Alonso. I AM IN DISTRESS

“Then comes Sebastian Vettel” INJECT IT INTO MY VEINS

I mean he’s just there in P5 vibing but GO ON SEB!!!

Verstappen already into P6 after starting 14th

oh no don’t cut to a solitary Lewis I’m sad again

[Lap 6]: ALEX??? PASSING A McLAREN????

What is going on in the House of Commons

Seb drops to P6

[Lap 7]: Jesus that shot of Verstappen closing on Alonso really shows how strong the RB18 was last year.

“We are for Plan B” Please... I’m not strong enough I am already at my limit 😭

[Lap 8]: Verstappen already into P3. If I speak.

also my emotional support chocolate had been devoured.

Charles passing Gasly at the bus stop chicane? Nice.

[Lap 10]: Okay I think the race has finally settled down now, apart from Charles making his way up through the field

I’m still this close to asking for a refund though

Clinging onto Seb in P6 and Lance in P9 with both hands rn

cut to Jacky Ickx, watch Ferrari disrespect his presence with more clownery

[Lap 11]: Ignoring potential RBR team orders and focusing on Seb being almost a second behind Alonso

oop Sainz pits, tbf comms have been talking about high tracks temps so no wonder people are complaining about high deg

[Lap 13]: Oh Verstappen got past Perez. 

anyway, Charles up to P6!!

“Could George Russell undercut Perez” oh I hope so I’ll take anything at this point

Seb also pits, it was slow 😭

[Lap 15]: Charles being a little bit unhinged trying to get past Perez, I support his right to go feral

“We are considering Plan D” I WILL BURN DOWN MARANELLO

No, I’m not kidding. I’ll call it a belated Ides of March.

Russell v Charles 👀

whew he actually got past on the kemmel straight!

George said I’ll avenge Lewis by dragging the W13 places it doesn’t deserve to be

[Lap 17]: SEB INTO P8!!! LET’S GET IT

I’m also acknowledging Ferrari putting Charles on Plan D and moving on

MICK PASSING NICKY UP EAU ROUGE!!! A KING!!!!

[Lap 18]: ...and Verstappen retakes the lead

“Hasta la Vista Carlos” eafuvhefuawh okay Brundle I’ll give you that one right it was funny

oh Seb is on the hards. I do not know how to feel about that.

[Lap 19]: Alpha Tauri finally remember to pit Yuki

“Why would we stop now” A very good question Charles, you tell em

[Lap 21]: I’m actually glad Seb is holding the gap to Alonso ahead bc I still haven’t recovered from the first lap

And Perez passes Sainz like he’s just taking a stroll

oooh Lance passes Galy round the outside of the the chicane for P11, noice

[Lap 23]: It’s me I’m the unimpressed McLaren garage

also thank fuck we’re past half-distance

Lance v Dan up Eau Rouge??? BOYS THINK OF MY NERVES

[Lap 25]: Seb watch: he has really closed up to Alonso, I’m stress

[Lap 26]: oh looks like we’re gonna get another pitstop shuffle *cue Disco music*

oh fuck Ferrari are double stacking

okay it wasn’t awful

[Lap 28]: Oh dear potential Canadian on Canadian violence.

Anyway Seb’s in P5 so I think we should end the race and call it a day

[Lap 31]: Charles closing up to Seb, my Ferrari boys 😭

oh and here we are with a Charles onboard

not surprising that was an easy pass, nice to see my lads briefly reunited though

[Lap 33]: Russell hunting Sainz for sport, gap down to just over 4 seconds

[Lap 34]: Seb pits, he couldn’t make the 1 stop work I guess 😔

but still in the poinnnnnnnnnnts!!!!!

[Lap 35]: and he passes Gasly for P7!!!!

oh shit he got double French tag teamed

asdfghjkl Ocon with the double slipstream, maximum zoom

[Lap 36]: Sainz v Russell watch: gap down to under 3 seconds

oh jeez not Brundle calling the Merc a Williams asvhauvhuhu

[Lap 37]: a 4 car battle for P10 you say? 👀

Midfield spice (beloved)

[Lap 38] I can’t believe it took this long to make reference to the Great Contract Drama of Summer Break 2022. I may have been tuned out of a lot of the races last year but boy was last Summer Break the most hilarious

“It’s too late for Plan G” McLaren???? Don’t take lessons from Ferrari I BEG

[Lap 39]: Alex having the best time being a train conductor as he clings onto P10. Pet power!!

[Lap 40]: I’m still trying to get my head around Verstappen going from P14 to P1 in the dry like ?????

Like yes I will acknowledge that Verstappen is a good driver, but jeez man

[Lap 42]: ANYWAY, Seb still in P8, please Spa give me something in the way of joy

Sainz v Russell watch: gap holding at 2 seconds so I think Ferrari are going to escape Spa with a podium

and cut to a replay of Yuki passing Zhou before the bus stop chicane

[Lap 43]: I was about to question why they were pitting Leclerc, but it’s to try and get fastest lap.

oh jeez but Alonso is right there. 

And he passes Charles. Clowneria Ferrari strikes again.

There is not a big enough facepalm emoji.

[Lap 44/Finish]: oh phew Charles got past Alonso on the Kemmel straight

and Sainz holds onto P3. Props to George for trying though.

Charles didn’t even get fastest lap. And he got a 5 sec penalty for speeding in the pitlane so he drops to P6 🥲

but anyway SEB POINTS!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!

Seb finished in P8 and nothing else happened idk what any of you are talking about.

Ugh yeah I’m trying to not let my personal attachment to some drivers affect my thought on the race but... oof my friends. This didn’t spark that much joy. Granted, there was a somewhat decent amount of action, but the first two laps were not fun to watch. So I’ll give it a tentative 6 front wings out of 10. Next race - Zandvoort! 

[capinejghafa]

Tbf, I kind of understand the pacing problems that people were talking about with kos like... i’m getting whiplash from Nina’s POV to Nikolai and Zoya (Ravka) and back. I think at least with SOC/CK, we got backstory plus whatever was happening with the heist/auction. It was also easier because the characters were all together. But with kos there are essentially two different stories being told and almost feels like they’re... battling each other for your attention. if that makes sense.

I don’t think it’s bad! like it does genuinely helps that we know all these characters... but it has pacing issues as a result of trying to do too much. Honestly, I could just focus on whatever is going on in Ravka... or maybe Nina’s story could have been a novel on it’s own as then followed by whatever is going on with Ravka? I’m tempted to just read Nina’s chapters first and then the Ravka chapter later to make sense of this timeline lol

[laufire]

Supernatural s1

my dash: decries Supernatural every five posts.

me: time to watch it seriously for the first time in my life.

-First thing first: it’s an amazingly well-crafted season of tv. I’m a character-focused watcher, not a plot-focused one; I never connected emotionally to the Winchesters (still haven’t and likely never will, as interesting I might find them as character constructs), so I feared I’d be bored and would want to skip scenes. Nuh huh. I was many things, but none of them were bored xDD. Each episode was a lesson in good pacing and the entire season another in proper build-up. There are one or two or a few dozen tv-writers I would like to show it to, ngl.

-Another thing it excelled at was in its portrayal in abusive family dynamics. The way Dean went mellow and so unlike himself when John gave an order (and what a SHOCK it is in the later episodes when he finally stands up to him!!). How Sam said HE would apologize to his father when they saw each other again, or how he made apologies for his father because “it could have been worse” (at least John didn’t beat them up, like it happened to that poor kid!). John showing Sam more “““respect””” (as far as he’s able at least) simply because Sam already proved he’s capable of leaving him; the way John controls the information he gives them and when and how and how much and how small they feel when they reunite with him. Dean knowing his father had been possessed by a demon because it wasn’t reprimanding him and belittling him. Dean’s psychic shapeshifter (?) expressing his resentment towards Sam for getting to escape. Dean’s quickness to resort to violence when Sam says something that makes him angry, or how he tries to severe ties between Sam and his college friends, or how he guilt trips him when Sam says he plans on returning to his studies, or how he minimizes Sam’s experiences with John or how Sam criticizes Dean’s compliance... (I don’t think Dean’s being consciously manipulative. I think it’s intuitive. Which is far, far scarier. He’s the Elena Gilbert of Supernatural and a walking red flag for controlling behavior). How it’s paired with ~honeymoon periods. The way they use the families around them to highlight their issues. It’s... chilling and terrifying and I can’t look away. I won’t get into the shit John pulls in 2x01 because that’s for the s2 POV, but oh my god I’m so happy he’s dead.

I wasn’t all that sure of how self-aware the creators were about this trend (especially because of how centralized and validated Dean’s POV is in his conflicts with Sam IMO. OTOH... characters like Dean and actors like Ackles are the type to take over a show by charisma alone tbf. The way he swoops in in the pilot and starts disrupting everything, including Sam’s relationship, reminding me of both Angel in BTVS and Chuck in Gossip Girl, Doylist-wise. This comparison is going to make sense to like three people I talk with regularly xDD). At least on early seasons, since certain spoilers about the later ones make me think it grew over time. I’m still unsure but I think they are a little self-aware because of this quote:

Eric Kripke said of Buffy: “I loved ‘Hush’ and ‘Once More, With Feeling,’ but overall, Buffy really taught me about effectively using metaphor in genre. For Buffy, it was ‘high school is hell (literally),’ and Joss Whedon did such a masterful job of grounding his horror and fantasy concepts in this notion, and ultimately telling allegories about high school, which turned what could’ve been B-Movie material into an all-time classic. I used that same philosophy on my run of Supernatural, with the mantra ‘family is hell (literally),’ and always grounded my horror episodes around the notion of families, to the show’s benefit. So thanks, Joss Whedon. I owe you a beer. (Credit: The WB)

everyone wants to be Buffy lol.

-My absolute favourite thing was how competent the Winchesters are (I’m even reluctantly including John here. That bastard). They’re sneaky with local authorities, crafty about fake IDs, credit scams, research abilities, DIY supernatural detectors xDD... I loved the lack of an audience proxy, the fact that the story throws you into the deep end with people that already know their shit. And that the other side is competent too, like when Meg & YED’s plan to trap John relied on the Winchester being competent; on Sam immediately going into the defensive because, what are the chances of finding that cute weird girl a second time, miles away?; on John suspecting it was a trap and only revealing himself after Meg appears to be dead... Another scene that I loved in that sense, from 2x01 (I watched until 2x03, I wanted to see Sterling K. Brown’s first appearance lol) was how upon discovering Reapers are shapeshifters, Dean immediately knew that cute ghost he’d befriended was the one after him. I get the feeling this aspect will get lost in future season and it’s a pity, tbh.

-Related to that, some of my favourite moments: Sam straight up bribing a guy to get into the morgue when Dean’s arguments are failing (with Dean’s money!); Dean’s plan of “well, if this guy is haunting the house and there’s no other way to kill him, we burn the house. No house no haunting”; Dean telling that kid to fake appendicitis to get his parents out of the house; John blessing the tank of water knowing he’s walking into a trap with demons... I dig this stuff.

-I get whiplash sometimes, with the show making a point of (very briefly) telling you racism, homophobia or pro-life attitudes are Bad(TM) and the brothers are Against them (the Racist Truck episode, the one where a woman used a Reaper to exchange “virtuous” lives for those of sinners...), when the rest of the show is err... what it is lol. Dean is toxic masculinity’s poster boy (I was so disgusted by how he acted with Jess omfg), in s2 we don’t get the monsters’ perspective on hunters until we’ve conveniently met our first black one (I love the episode AND the character but it’s fucking true)...

-I need to make a note of paying attention to the writers credits/Bts stuff because I find this show’s progression fascinating on a metatextual level. The only problem is that audience reaction seems to have played a big role (which is a problem on one or two different levels imo xD), and tracking that down is sliiiiightly more difficult lol. Oh well (I don’t even think I want to see too much of this fandom, even to satisfy my curiosity. Some of the glimpses I’ve caught of it are disturbing to the extreme).

-The detail about dead people’s blood being toxic to vampires is SO COOL OMG. I’m tempted to steal it xD

Some random stuff:

-The monsters of the week were some legit creepy stuff.

-I love that Meg has her own hellhounds. Is that still a thing when she returns?

-Dean: you and dad are reckless and I’m going to have to be the one that buries you. / Me, with the power of foresight: 👀

-Also Dean: sometimes it scares me how good I am at killing. / Me: it scares the shit out of me how good you are at killing, too, fam.

-I get the impression Sam loses his demonic-in-origin powers later on, right? What a waste, I love those.

-I’m pretty sure at one point it’s implied John used Dean to honeytrap monsters (when he sends him as a trap for the lady vampire that stole the Colt) and I really don’t know what to do with this information.

-Cassie was GORGEOUS and even make Dean likeable for me while they lasted xDD. But given this show’s track record I’m considering the lack of more appearances a blessing.

-So many guest stars. Everyone’s been on SPN. Especially if they were on the Buffyverse first (I totally get the impulse of casting Buffy actor after Buffy actor lmfao).

-Funny how Luther Hargreeves is exactly who a lot of fans think Dean was (Dean is far, far colder imo), and yet one is constantly called pathetic and evil and the other woobified. Very Funny Indeed *coughs* (funnier still that the character I often see Dean compared to is Wynonna Earp when the parallels are kids-pool deep at best and offensive at worst. Dean is not a Wynonna. Again, Dean is an Elena Gilbert xDD).

-The two paranormal investigators were dumb as rocks, but their motto was “What Would Buffy Do” so I like them (if they ever change that to What Would the Winchesters Do or something like that I’m going to be furious lmao).

-When I want to ~chill I dress about exactly like Dean (minus the flannel I’ve seen in later seasons, you can’t pay me to wear flannel). Like, I think I have a couple of shirts that look exactly like ones of his. I don’t know how I feel about this xDD

-IDK how I’ll feel about Bobby later on (I get the impression every long-term character on this show has their hateful phases xD), but in his introduction he said the last time he saw John he threatened to shoot him (“he causes that reaction in people”), so he’s so far the most relatable character around lol.

[the-spud-player]

WTF was that season 2 of Titans:

Long post ahead:

SO YOUR TELLING ME TRIGON IS DEALT WITH IN 15MINS OF THE FIRST EPISODE????????????????

Where was the FAMILY DYNAMIC from the first season???????????

I do not care about Dove and Hawk, they have their struggles so bland isn't the word I'd use but,,,, they were just pointless.......

Blame dick for something that wasn't his fault, then come running back to him when something goes wrong? Can't have it both ways...

We just ignoring Rachel turned into a demon creature???

I'm so so tired of Dick being angsty. And leaving Gar on his own????

Kory abandoning her family for a stretch because of a crown she doesn't want?

LEAVE GAR ALONE

Again, I don't care about Dawn and Hank

While I'm on the subject: Donna, Hank and Dawn, they can get f*cked, their hands aren't clean but they have the moral high ground here??

Dawn: "You should tell the kids Dick"... Why don't u tell them yourself? Your so "connected to Rachel" then act like it. But I guess the character is too much of a wet blanket.

Doctor light being taken out was unfortunate but I liked the subversion, put Slade up there in guys that don't mess about.

Superboy, oh boy. Love the character and how he was played. Love that he saved Jason by chance. Hate they introduced him in a whole episode to himself right after a crucial part of the story. Pacing hit the breaks so hard I got whiplash

Kinda the same as how Hank and Dawn were introduced in the first season, pacing is all over the place.

Hank and Dawn get way too much screen time for being side characters

Btw, Jason? I feel for u, but u not gonna have some sympathy for the guy that just talked you off the ledge? But all in all you deserve better.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT.

Dick comes back and says: "Hey guys, Slade's in the house somehow" then he talks Jason down, admits his guilt, people leave, THEN ITS NEVER MENTIONED EVER AGAIN.

I REPEAT, HE LEAVES GAR AND SLEEPY SUPERBOY IN A HOUSE THAT TO HIS KNOWLEDGE SLADE HAS INFILTRATED SOMEHOW.

This was before they knew Rose was working for him, and before the "truce" he had with Slade.

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THEY ALL LEFT, GAR, ALONE, IN THE TOWER THEY KNEW TO BE UNSAFE.

Not that it's even Titans Tower... Just some fancy high rise

Jason and Rose were pretty cute tbf

Turned into prison break 2.0 and although I liked the new origin to Nightwing, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN COOL TO SEE HIM ESCAPE.

Btw: NIGHTWING IS IN THE HOUSE WOOOOP!!!

But if Dick gets the new costume, you could at least give Rach her peaked hood, I mean c'mon how hard can it be...

Love the Fever Dream that is Enko

And the whole dynamic of Bruce's hallucination with Dick.

Jericho is precious and is the best new addition to the show, better than Bruce, better than Connor, than his own dad tbh.

Krypto is the bestest of boys and is the only rival of the best new addition to Jericho.

Garth, Aqualad, y'know what, was enjoyable, good character.

(Also, Amazonians have pretty hard skin, so for a u put there saying how weak it was for Garth to die to a bullet, remember it was a bullet meant for an Amazonian warrior and that Slade wouldn't have shot a bullet that wouldn't pierce a super like that)

Can we have Kaldur come and pay respects? Like, they're practically brothers, I'd say maybe S3 but im not sure I want to watch it.

Rose "The titans are my family" Wilson, shut up, that's not earned, u were closest to Jason and he skipped on them.

Maybe if we had more development between you and Rachel and less OG titans doing the big SAD™, and less of H&D in general, that would've been more believable.

Good on Dick accepting her a second time tho, guy sticks to his guns.

Kinda

Also, U EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE 1, 1!!!! SWORD THRUST KILLS DEATHSTROKE, WHOS DAUGHTER CAN RECONNECT BONE AND LIGAMENT, GROW BACK A HOLE IN HER HAND???????????????????

Get on the level, decapitating him would be more permanent, he's got Logan healing beta version. Even a throw away line about his age (problems with his hands throughout if u noticed) getting to him so his heeling won't be as effective would have been better...

Donna Troy. Sigh. Maybe if you weren't written as such a, such a, such a pancake this season I would have cared that you died..

I don't..

But I do care how they killed you off...

A F*CKING POLE. ELECTROCUTED AFTER THE CLIMAX. THE DISRESPECT. THE AUDACITY. I AM SO MAD.

I just, I can't believe the writers thought that was a good move.

Have Hank sacrifice himself for Dawn, they can get their weepy moment now and not later distracting from the MAIN CHARACTERS again.

Also, SUPERBOY WAS STANDING THERE SND HE DID NOTHING. . . BULLSH*T!

[INSERT JOHN MULANEY GIF HERE]

YOU KNOW THE ONE

Also, Bruce just doesn't care about Jason huh?? Just gonna ignore him disappearing?

As much as I like Glen I did still feel he was abit old for the role, not quite Bruce Wayne, 15/20 years too old... But he acted the heck out of this more, feelingsy type, guess supes has been doing work on him in the league

Kory should have said Dawn's last line, I mean she's one of the MAIN CHARACTERS, and not a SIDE CHARACTER.

Also, how did we barely get any DickxKory this season???

Bullcr*p

And Rach just, LEAVING? Without saying goodbye to Garth, or MUMMA STARFIRE????????!!!!

And shut up Garth you never new Donna you have plenty of trauma to be sad about instead. WHICH DOESNT REALLY GET ADRESSED.

Maybe S3? Do I care????

This whole season was a mess. Trigon gone and not being the source of Rachel's alterations in powers is wrong. Because now there's no explanation. Yet. But they swept it under the rug so much that I don't care anymore, either have the risk of her messing up when it matters. Or don't have it at all.

I just. I'm so disappointed. The first season had its flaws but it was good. Didn't appreciate the cliff hanger. Appreciate it more than it being resolved quicker than I can catch a fly in my room though.

It physically pains me how much this season was badly done.

Like, no costumes. At all for some reason. A whole 10/15 mins dealing with a pointless plot point with Hank.

Just.

Treat your characters, especially the main ones.

Better. And with consistency.

Im in the UK and have waited months for this.

I can't actually remember when I was so let down after my hopes were so high.

F*ck.

P.s.

I am so sorry, I don't know how to do a "read more" text post on mobile

[saint-patrice]

“Tbh I would like to have the 34 *other* Bergy pics on your shortlist, complete with commentary lolol. And then (if you’re still waiting that is) any other Marchy pics with commentary? xD xD” 

here are some more of my favourite marchy pics, complete with my bizarre personal commentary, for anon! the 34 bergy pics can be found here also!

Note: a few people have said they like these posts, so i’m up for taking people’s requests if there’s a particular player they’d like to see! inbox is always open (and anon is on) so just drop me your request and i’ll get working on it :)

okay so this is some absolutely premium cute marchy!! the smile that manages to be completely self-confident yet in no way cocky? the polite little wave as he surveys his audience who, if i recall correctly, were booing him heavily?? oh i do love you mr rat. marchy is fantastic and i have so much respect for the way he deals with his reputation across the league and the excessive amount of shit he gets.he knows what people think of him yet doesn’t seem to let it get to him. i have so much love for him.

KATRINA IS LEGENDARY. before moving on to the part of the image that gave me whiplash when i first saw it, we’re back to talking about brad’s smile. i think i said it in my last post but he really is one of those people who smiles with their whole face - even if you just saw his eyes in this photo you can immediately tell that he’s got that little grin on his face and that’s adorable tbh. now onto the d*lf mug (censored bc i fear the dodgy underground porn blogs these days)… i don’t even know where to start. i feel like he very proudly bought it for himself. and it’s like the only mug he ever wants to drink out of. just my take. i also think the longer hair really suits marchy ngl

ahhh the boys and their dirtbag christmas suits 💛 highlights of this image are the suit jacket that is definitely just one size too small for this absolute man rocket, and the pants with “FRAGILE” plastered all over them - very relatable if not at all festive.

gay rights are stored in the rat!!! i’m glad marchy has been pretty open about his support of LGBT stuff, particularly within hockey. also i feel like some of the stuff he’s said in interviews or social media (esp re: lickgate) manages, even if not intentionally, to be quite diminutive towards implicit homophobia or ‘toxic masculinity’ within hockey. okay maybe that that was poorly expressed but basically he just doesn’t give a shit and appears very open and accepting and i think that’s super nice. this picture also makes for a good reaction image when someone says something dumb

short kings love.jpeg !! a wonderful example of the love that brad shows his teammates on a regular basis, despite his constant chirping. i have no real opinions on torey krug (no h8, i just don’t think i’ve seen that much of him off ice so idk) but him and marchy are quite the duo tbh, i live for their back and forths on twitter - more on that later - and they seem to love each other an awful lot, it’s v cute :^)

that’s my pest™. honestly i think lickgate is one of the best scandals in recent hockey history. when looking for a good image of this is saw an article where some dipshit reporter was outraged about it and was like “how would you feel if someone just came up and liked you?” i mean what if someone just came up and started punching you or hip-checked you into the wall????? hockey is a nasty game a lot of the time, and instead of giving people concussions or broken bones (not that he hasn’t in the past ik…) marchy managed to make opposing teams just as angry, if not moreso, just by licking players. i think it’s fucking hilarious. and most of them took it well in hindsight anyway - i think it was komarov who said he kinda liked it lmaoooooo. peak bradley kevin antics if you  ask me

every pic from the china trip has such a special place in my heart. this is just an all-round adorable photo and brad is looking gorgeous in the sunlight and his backwards cap

brad waving the towel in surrender is just about the funniest thing i’ve ever seen someone do in the penalty box… i can’t believe they gave him a 10 minute misconduct for it, something i think they’d wouldn’t have done if it had have been someone else. at least someone in this league has a goddamn sense of humour. the penalty minutes stat in the corner just makes this even better

brad, once again, showing us how we should deal with people talking shit about us - just get on board with it. i love how much he’s just embraced his massive nose and his height and his general reputation. idk if it’s really deliberate but i think it’s such a good message to send, and it makes for some pretty funny stuff too.

brad single-handedly keeps nhl refs in a job. in my bruins drinking game™ you have to take a shot every time the ref has to physically restrain marchy (2 if it’s because he was going to get revenge or fend for bergy) and you could get fucked off that alone during some games. it was nice to see him not actually get suspended this year, but i will always love that he’s such a physical player and quite the pest on the ice :))

me: *slaps helmet of brad marchand* this bad boy can fit so much personality.

really though, can you believe he’s managed to squeeze more charisma into only 5 feet and 9 inches than 85% of the league combined… very cute picture, and always lovely to see him by bergy’s side on the ice where he belongs

oh my goddddddd how fucking cute is this though!!!! the hat! the dad energy those jeans and the boots give off!!! his face!! his little daughter!!!!! i can’t take it, my heart is going to burst.

(gif via @kureally) this is also just so cute, i need a minute. brad has some very powerful eyebrows and this gif displays them wonderfully. this section of behind the b was also pretty sweet all round, and i agree with pasta that the hair is looking pretty first class

(gif via @murlin09) i am not like into marchy (no tea no shade if u are though), but this gif… whew. i’ll let you come to your own conclusions on this one, gang

i was not lying when i said more on the brad-torey social media antics earlier. there are some truly iconic chirps (the zamboni one is lethal), but this self-roast just kills me every time. i never once thought i’d read a tweet from the official brad marchand twitter account that opened with “hey shorty” but here we are. “my nose wouldn’t fit” i astral projected the first time i read that. and if you’re wondering what torey said to prompt this, it was simply “hey marchy”. it doesn’t take much for brad to light on you, huh? we better watch our backs

definitely a favourite marcheron pic right here - the pucks and paddles (i still think that’s a questionable name but maybe that’s a me issue) content is always top notch. if you can find the video, it’s even better, but this picture captures the general energy of the video perfectly. the only thing missing is that brad’s feet aren’t actually on the floor because the height difference is so pronounced that bergy has to lift him. beautiful

return of the cute brad smile!! a cute yet mischievous little grin, i can only assume he’s restraining himself from laughing at m*tthews fivehead (although who is he to talk with that schnozz. at least he rocks it tbf 👃🏻). not sure blue is really his colour but he’s going for it anyway. that’s my all star!

it’s been days since this photo first surfaced and i haven’t stopped palpitating. the cutest photo ever, they all look so happy and i love that!!! also how are their wives so beautiful….!? oh my every pixel of this image is just stunning

i know i included this in my last bergy list but if they can name new york twice i think i can put this on 2 lists, because lord knows it’s even more iconic. i feel like this is a good metaphor for brad marchand: getting up to no good, although still relatively harmless, all the while supported by the considerably more sensible, yet still entertaining, patrice bergeron. additionally, another excellent display of the oft-overlooked fact that this man is built like a motherfucking tank. holy shit

i wish i could see these boys in suits without my brain immediately trying to think of some sort of au. anyway, i really like this look on brad (unpopular opinion - i love his loud checkered suits as a concept but i don’t think they look good). although he has dark hair, strong eyebrows, and dark facial hai, the all black actually looks really good on him. coffee in hand really adding to the look too - well done, brad “fashionista” marchand.

ahhhhh i love nothing more than family man marchy 💛 his daughter is adorable - those tiny jerseys kill me - and i love that his son is wearing the all-star jersey omg how cute (he is definitely going to end up taller than brad lmao)

sometimes i forget that brad is short and then i see photos like this (brandon is 6′5 for reference)…amazing. i relate to the lady on the left on a spiritual level. brad’s face is a mood and a half. his feet are half a foot of the ice at least. i adore this photo.

(gif via @brandoncarlo) absolutely one of my fav things about watching bruins games is how brad and patrice will always find each other during a celly - nothing beats the 100 hug. this is also just a very satisfying skating gif that i love.

last but very very very far from least is this. there is literally no need for me to make any comment on this so i’m just going to leave it and go. bradley kevin marchand you are iconic and ily

ayyy this was super fun to do, thank you for requesting it anon, i hope you like!! again, i’m absolutely up for taking requests for more of these lists so hmu if you have ideas :) 

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 10/19 NXT 10/21 NXT UK 10/22 Smackdown 10/23 Hell in a Cell 10/25

Raw:

I’m here to give Alexa credit once more for making me give a shit about the Fiend. I do like his entrance, especially without a live crowd.

What a visual... them standing together hand in hand.

I love that they kept the monitors set on the graphics for this segment. No offense to the audience, but seeing them would’ve ruined this.

Amazing transition from Fiend and Alexa to the next segment/match. Major points.

Still a vicious elimination to Lacey by Natalya.

I intend to take this title match as seriously as wwe has - not within a football field of giving a shit. I know how this entire angle ends anyway (preemptive welcome back, Queen) but let’s watch it through. See how this face turn worked out for Lana.

Asuka really is insanely fast, I’ll give her that.

Great rollup attempt by Lana (shades of Nattie/Alexa), great counter by Asuka into the Asuka Lock, and great job to Lana for grabbing the ropes. Points.

I’m sure this is all rehearsed, but Lana obviously puts in the work. Do I think she’ll ever be a singles champion? Absolutely not, but at least she isn’t complacent.

Is it the tables? Is that what led to Lana turning face?

This was good for Asuka. This was good booking. She didn’t look like a chump giving Lana offense, and she looked both strong and smart post-match. Solid.

By that logic, ShaNia owns NXT’s division as well. Just saying.

Really wish they’d nix the “Mandy” intro.

Stop I never wanna hear Peyton’s theme again, plz.

So they really never did explain why Peyton and Lacey became a thing? Mk. They seem like genuine friends, it’s just too bad they aren’t a compelling tag team in the ring. Would much rather watch Sexy Muscle Friends, ngl.

Hi I like Riott Squad and have no problems with them theoretically being in this match, but why the fuck are they still here lmao. Go to SD.

This better get longer than 10 mins, there are way too many women here for y’all to rob them of time.

It’s nice to see more women give a shit about tag team wrestling/becoming a cohesive unit.

Lacey just cuz you can do a moonsault off the apron, doesn’t mean you should. That was dicey. Fine, but dicey. There’s a reason Charlotte goes up to the top turnbuckle when she does it to the outside (not that I’m suggesting that incredibly high risk spot but I’m js)

Wish Lacey wasn’t so wooden. Wish she was more trusting and flexible like Charlotte.

I’d bet anything Mandy and Dana actually could suplex Nia. Let them try.

Good break up by Shayna. Protect Dana and Mandy’s finisher. Also that was a WICKED knee strike by Mandy.

Everyone’s gonna get a move in now huh. Le sigh.

NICE interrupt again by Shayna, girl with the good timing.

Fair ending. How long was that? 5 mins to the second lmao. Mk, wwe. Mk.

Welp Alexa is officially on Firefly funhouse. Good. Now we get to blur some lines and have a bit more fun with her character.

Highlight: Asuka looking like a dominant champ without squashing Lana

---

NXT:

Rhea Ripley #1 in nxt, these are the facts. She’s literally gone through them all. Throw her up to the MR, lesgo.

Watching her handle Charlotte and Piper is so impressive. Beast.

“Gone against Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler,” so got squashed by Bianca and Shayna lmao. Hey, everyone’s got a role I guess. I remember when Alexa was enhancement talent that did a 450 splash and blew glitter all over the stage.

I don’t understand how Ember was wiped out after doing a mere roll off the ropes. It seems like a work since Jessi didn’t react and continued on as if she scored some offense (she didn’t) but that was a nasty landing on Ember’s lower back. Weird.

One count off an uppercut bahahaha

“You done messed up now,” Ember exclaims, after flipping off a fucking snapmare. I liked her better when she had no personality and just wrestled amazingly.

Is Ember a heel now? She’s acting like a heel. Why is she doing submissions? Why is she talking so much trash? Why is she so arrogant? Not a fan.

A springboard back elbow drop? Intriguing, Jessi. Intriguing. Points.

Jessi was too quick for Ember’s (now slow) setup into her codebreaker out of the corner. I’m gonna watch Charlotte vs Ember from 2019 after this, Ember was a lot quicker and cleaner - also cuz I miss Charlotte.

Yeahhh Ember used Jessi’s hair to pull her head back so she could do a crossface. She’s either a garbage babyface, or a heel.

Welp Dakota just turned babyface. Jeeze she be looking fine too. 10 points.

Dakota should be mad. She bumps like a motherfucker for every person she faces, and she made Ember’s botchy moves look amazing. Sucks she had such a stinker against Io, but there’s no way Ember should be rated higher than Dakota rn.

Interesting to note that Dakota came out on her own, as opposed to bringing - or even sending - Raquel.

Why does Xia have to win? Is there a kf contract that’s riding on her victory? Why is a random ass match against Kacy the biggest match of her career lol

Also this interviewer is gorgeous. Eyebrows on fleek, beautiful eyes and flawless hair.

*The Garganos prepare to Spin the Wheel* No.

Love Kacy’s speed. Always a joy to watch in the midcard.

Oh holy shit Kacy won, I did not see that coming. Where we going with this Xia stuff?

Xia gonna single handedly wreck both Kacy and Kayden?

WHY IS RAQUEL OUT HERE? What the fuck did Kacy and Kayden do to Raquel lmaooo

Commentator said Raquel sees Rhea Ripley in everyone she looks at. I say that’s the weakest explanation ever. Y’all just trying to find any reason to give her screen time, and this ain’t it.

“She’s sending a message to Ripley,” RHEA DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THESE BITCHES. Also she’s like 3x the size of all of them lmao what?

“And next week? At Halloween? Havoc?” Girl stay backstage with your promos.

I don’t know wtf the wheel is, but I absolutely loved that segment with Io.

She’s such a special attraction to me. I miss her when she’s not on, and she’s so under saturated that I never get tired of seeing her. 

Highlight: Segment with Io

---

NXT UK:

Man I really like Nina’s theme song.

After seeing last week’s fucking wrist lock marathon, this aggression is such a breath of fresh air. Not really much of a match, as it a brawl... but that’s perfectly fine lol.

Ahh Nina’s a runner? Interesting, I wouldn’t have guessed that.

Not a fan of Amale’s boots with her gear. Pressing stuff, I know.

Lol thought Nina was about to do a dis-arm-her. Man, I miss Becky.

Nina is a bit awkward with her transitions, I’m noticing.

Beautiful landing of the back body drop by Nina. Practically a swan dive.

Amale did such a lackadaisical pin attempt, and then could barely muster the strength to kick out of one. Ma’am isn’t the worst, but with as green as she is, she should be limited to 3 min sprints.

Seems to be a popular complaint I have with UK, they get gassed insanely easy. wwe needs to build a pc over there or something.

Final Act is a really weak finisher, but considering the speed, I will give points for the way Nina holds her opponent’s neck forward. We like to see performers protecting their partners from getting whiplash.

Love Nina’s voice. Love her whole shtick tbh.

She wants Piper? *sigh* okay. Should’ve just done a tournament to determine KLR’s next opponent, but whatever.

Highlight: Nina’s backstage interview

---

Smackdown:

lmfao Bianca’s reaction to being slapped. Ahhhh she’s funny.

Jeeze fucking tossed Zelina across the ring.

oof that speed by Bianca after flipping out of the hurricanrana. Whew.

Bianca straight threw Zelina into the air just to punch her in the throat lmao.

So this match was literally just “watch [Bianca] shine now” aye rep those lyrics, girl.

Confession: sometimes I fangirl over Bayley’s demeanor. She got BDE and you know what? Good for her, good for her.

Points for the chair, Bayley.

“[Sasha is] an ungrateful brat��� you know... kind of accurate.

Tbf Bayley, Sasha’s name kind of is bigger than your title, cuz she’s kept herself as an A+ superstar for like 4 years without holding gold. That deserves respect and recognition. That’s a woman keeping solely her name relevant without even being champion. Now in all fairness, I think all 4 of the horsewomen are up to that standing now, but let’s give credit where it’s due.

Sasha deserves to be champion in a meta sense, this is a fact, but man her character is so unlikeable. Like Bayley is a coward and an absolute tool but she still comes off as more genuine. A face turn for Bayley will be so easy. Not asking y’all to rush it wwe, but I’m just saying.

“Just give me the title back and we’ll talk about it,” Bayley says, as if she won’t grab that shit and bolt out of the arena.

Oh that was such a good set up to the spot with Bayley caught upright in the chair. I saw that screenshot months ago, but watching it be set up makes it so much better.

Ma’am I feel like being physically forced and coerced into signing a contract automatically makes it null and void, but hey this is your universe, what do I know.

Vicious - Bayley falling over with a fucking chair wrapped around her neck. Whew what a bump.

“Go help her Cole” LMFAO legit the last person in the company that would come to Bayley’s aid. Good line, Corey. That was a great promo and segment. Mega points.

Highlight: Go home segment for Bayley & Sasha

---

Hell in a Cell:

Kind of a weak video package for this feud, ngl. They didn’t bother with the Raw women’s championship, didn’t bother with 2019, Raw 2016/2017, nxt... Closest we got were a couple 2 second clips/screenshots.

By definition, this feud has to be one of the biggest disappointments in recent memory. It had the potential to blow Becky/Charlotte out of the water, and didn’t even enter the same stratosphere. Shame. This is a perfectly fine feud in a vacuum... until you remember it’s fucking Sasha and Bayley. Okay I’ll stop beating a dead horse. 

If Sasha were a real babyface, she’d drop that awful Snoop remix.

Sasha looks amazing. Love the contrast of Sasha wearing white and Bayley wearing black. Gonna miss Bayley’s old gear though.

Love Bayley spray painting 1-0 on the chair, since we all obsessed over Sasha’s shitty record ahead of this match lmao.

This feud just never picked up that mountain of tension Becky and Charlotte had at Evolution I’M SORRY.

Why can’t everyone do a headscissors takedown as fast as Sasha can.

Such an innovative way of utilizing a table and the cell to deliver a meteora. POINTS FOR SASHA *applause*

So I like the concept of Sasha rolling under the table and pushing it up into Bayley, but the landing of the table near Sasha’s head made me uneasy. I like the concept of Sasha rotating her body on the apron before jumping straight into a meteora against the cell, but the way she landed against the LED was awkward. The ideas are there though.

Cool watching Sasha jump from the apron to scale the cell, then back to the apron, then jumping over Bayley onto the floor. She’s like a rabbit. I’m underselling this tbh, like 95% of the women in the company can’t do the things Sasha can do.

OOF at Bayley being dropkicked into the steps. What a landing.

At this point, I don’t even want to see a women’s hiac match unless Sasha’s in it, or at the very least has a hand in producing it. Ugh she’d be an amazing match producer, whew.

Ugly landing through the kendo stick onto the steps by Sasha. That’s a spot that would’ve received an audible gasp from a live crowd.

OOF a sunset flip powerbomb into the fucking cell. oof. rip Bayley.

OOF a sunset flip into the fucking chair. oof. rip Sasha.

Positive on Bayley’s botched kendo stick/tape spot: lends credence to how inexperienced Bayley is with handling weapons in kf, and Bayley did a great job vocally improvising - probably earned herself points backstage. A negative: what a disaster of a spot lmfao. Should’ve had it already created and ready to go beneath the ring, or used a broomstick/crutch for the spot instead. Having people handle tape mid match is stupid. Wasn’t Bayley’s fault, but the crowd would’ve shit all over that lesbireal.

If you’re a specified Sasha fan, you’ll probably deem this the greatest match of Sasha’s career, cuz my god did she look amazing in it (and she actually won) but if you’re not, I’ll tell you, they did not do a good job making Bayley shine at the end of her historic reign imo.

Sasha bout to have a breakdown. Good acting.

This match lacks cohesion. Very spotty, but most of the spots are fucking incredible, so it gets a pass.

I like the ladder on the chairs.

Sasha jumping off the set up ladder to do a meteora in the corner was nice. Sasha using a fucking Bayley to Belly onto the ladder was beautiful.

Sasha looking like she wants to cry. Man she’s amazing.

BEAUTIFUL counter out of the Bayley to Belly by Sasha; dropped Bayley into the chair to set up her Bank Statement inside the chair.

Mega points for that single chair being the center of their entire feud, as the rivalry began and ended with that chair. Bravo there.

That’s it, Bayley’s reign is finally over. This match’s review was hella long, but deservedly so. Extremely happy for Sasha. Took her 4 years on the MR giving people banger after banger before wwe trusted her with a legitimate title reign, but we’ve finally made it.

Highlight(s): Both sunset flips by Bayley & Sasha against the chair & cell, respectively

---

*hiac blew everything else out of the water by default thanks to Bayley vs Sasha, but both Raw & SD were very enjoyable to me this week as well.

[djemsostylist]

Okay, your description of Gaheris makes more sense here actually.  He is one of those characters that Malory and others don’t really seem to care about and he gets lumped in with Gareth all the time, so I never really got a feel for him.  Because Gawain liked him I always sort of assumed he was like, slightly older Gareth lol.  I’m interested to read more in Vulgate, because the absolute whiplash in Malory was something else (his reasoning for murdering his mother but not Lamerok was so utterly bizarre, and then everyone’s reaction was just like, “pity”. Like, he chopped his mom’s head off???  And that is all you can say???)  I guess tbf that is everyone’s reaction to everything in Malory, so.  

Also, yes omg exactly.  I just want Gawain to respect women and be kind while going on wacky adventures.  I completely agree that it could have horror elements, absolutely, but if you don;t have the pure hilarity of the kissing game then what even is the point really?  Like, I was talking to someone about it and they were like, “but it looks really pretty and and magical and dark” and I was like, okay but that is the opposite of Gawain?  He is a literal ray of sunshine so--  Fingers crossed the trailers are sort of playing with us, lol

Also, and this one really through me for a loop, but Malory seems to have a problem with his female characters, in that, with the exception of Nyneve, they are pretty much either empty vessels or manipulative seductresses out to ruin the lives of our Pure Knights.  But then he still tells the Ragnell story with the end goal being that what women want most is the freedom to be themselves and not be controlled by men and lead their own lives.  Which I love and think is fantastic and it’s why I love Ragnell and Gawain so much, because while he can be a bit of a dumbass and a slut, he also loves and respects women.  Which is shown in that story.  And in the Green Knight.  But then Malory is like “what can Guinevere’s motivation be for things?  Morgana’s?  We may never know, women are a true mystery.”  It is SO frustrating!

Can I just--Malory not describing anything ever was the single most frustrating part of that book. Like, the only description we ever get of anyone is to acknowledge that Lancelot and Tristan are both "big" which sure, I mean they do excel at knocking people off horses, but what does that mean? Plus, yes omg the ages thing. How old is anyone at any time? And he also loves to contradict himself and then trail off without finishing stories. I mean its interesting, but god was that rough

Bro! I know. Like I have the Vulgate now which gave me some much-needed clarity on a lot of things but also the timeline is whack like Lancelot younger than Mordred? I hate that! Rejected!

So like even with the details I will sometimes choose to ignore them but at least I have a clearer picture of dynamics like for example the grail quest. Bors is older than Percival and Galahad but by how much? Is it like a babysitter role in that he’s older by a little or is it fatherly? It’s impossible to tell because Malory not only excluded all the personal details but Galahad, who was already pretty stoic in the Vulgate, is now about as interesting as almond in Le Morte, so the dynamic between him and the other two is completely lost.

And like the dynamic between Gawain/Lancelot is super hard for me to wrap my mind around because in Malory they seem more like peers and even have a lot of homoerotic tension at the end there with the whole forgiveness letter in blood thing (Malory bro are you okay?) but then in the vulgate turns out Gawain is WAY older and that throws me off. It seems most modern adaptions or even some medieval ones (even without specifics, just implied more than Malory as it is in de Troyes where they’re kinda bros) bring them closer together so they can truly be on equal footing in maturity and skill levels rather than having age gaps that make no sense.

But even on a completely creative level divorced of the practicality, I like to picture them. We all have a mental image, because the legend is so prevalent in our culture at this point, but I still like to have some flourish to embellish the story and immerse me! Part of the fun is that Gawain is SO short in canon and still a great knight or that Mordred actually looks exactly like Arthur, tall and blonde and handsome rather than dark and broody like modern depictions, not to mention the wealth of queer-coding we get from physical descriptions alone on top of the multitude of interactions and nuances Le Morte is lacking. Having that detail makes the characters feel alive. Malory reads like a synopsis, which I suppose it is, but it confuses me too much to enjoy it.

Here is one of many, many Lancelot descriptions from the vulgate. We get a ton of detail plus a definitive age as well as a nod to the elapsed time so we are kept on track as we read and not wondering “when” the fuck we are. Also! Short Gawain! You could pick this apart so much, it’s wonderful. Wish we had some of this in other texts.