#tbf i doubt it would be any better in German

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV Musings - Justice for Claudia (she deserved better) ❤️👸🏼👸🏽👸🏾❤️ - S2

Everything that's ever happened to Claudia in her whole life is unfair and effed up, because my daughter's suffered more than Christ in the books, film, and tv show. 😩 This is not about seeing things in bad faith, it's about seeing things from CLAUDIA'S perspective, how SHE FEELS about her place in life, based on the way she's been treated and the things she's gone through & things she's seen happen to herself & the people she loves.

1) leaves NOLA/America for eastern Europe in the hopes of her & Louis starting "the adventure of our lives" looking for vampires overseas...only to be constantly disappointed every time they find nothing but empty castles & long-dead vampires.

2) They've arrived in Europe in the middle of WW2, so the entire continent's an active warzone--they can't even rest without having to run from air raids. They sleep in military foxholes in battlefields, and feed off the wounded & dying soldiers. Louis thinks "the blood is bad here," blaming the blood for how cold & sad HE feels. But meanwhile Claudia's just been getting stronger drinking the same exact blood, starting to learn the Cloud Gift all on her own--so much for Lestat/Loustat's BS about it being "not something you can teach"/learn. 🙄😒 (Ofc, she doesn't know the ins/outs of how the Dark Gifts get passed down.) She's still feeding Louis, sharing her kills with him to make sure he stays energized & can keep up with her; rather than the other way around, "you slow us down!" (TBF he warned her that he would in 1x6, but still, pull your friggin weight, Louis.)

3) Claudia quickly starts teaching herself German/Russian/Romanian/etc, telling everyone that Louis (who sucks with foreign languages) is just her "dumb/mute brother" only good for manual labor. She's the brains & he's the brawn; it's all he's good for; still pining over Lestat 4-5 years later. Claudia starts giving him the cold shoulder, icing him out & refusing to talk to him if every word out of his mouth's just gonna be about how he just wants to go home--"Home? could there be a more offensive question? Run back to New Orleans; pry up his bones, why don't you!? Louis de Pointe du Lac: dead weight." Claudia's been having really bad nightmares, but tries to keep a stiff upper lip and play it off as if she never dreams at all, rather than talk to Louis about any of her troubles.

4) She quickly catches on that Louis' thirsting for male company, slowing them down cuz he'd rather hang around & chat/flirt with Morgan ("giving him your real name") than help her investigate the Revenant she finally finds ("if he can't take you ballroom dancing and tell you you're pretty, hell with him, is that it?!"). This idiot really thinks there's baboons in Romania, and not an actual vampire they could get to know. 🤦🤦 Lou's been acting more & more like Lestat, doubting her at every turn, insulting her intelligence ("your books are bullsh*t!"), cuz he's not at all interested in vampires--there's only 1 vamp he's interested in, "I forgave you for messing up my plan; I did not forgive you for bringing him with you" in his mind & heart.

5) 40+ years old by now, Claudia's still being treated like a little kid; but uses it to her advantage to learn from the Romanian kids about "Anna." While lightskinned!Lou's busy being flattered & buttered up as a "man with good looks" by the adults, the kids are far more honest & direct with darkskinned!Claudia, touching her face without her permission calling her a "cioara" (Rom. "crow"), Romania's N-word. From the frying pan into the fire, Claudia's gone from the American Jim Crow to being called a literal crow by European racist brats, wtf.

6) The Revenant is also a effing jerk, beating the crap out of Claudia & Louis. Daciana gets the jump on them, and has the nerve to yell at Claudia for blinding her "child" (a grown frikkin man btw), when Daciana's the one who bashed his skull in--how was Claudia supposed to know he was too weak to heal?! He attacked her first, not the other way around, but she gets blamed?! 🙄😒 Daciana lets them talk about America and the blood and blahblah, tryna convince her to form a coven with them, and then completely sikes them out when she makes it seem like she's cool with joining them, only to then yeet herself into the fire in front of them; she'd rather die than make a coven with them, wow.

7) Claudia is deeply depressed after losing the chance to join the Revenant & Daciana, the first vampires they'd ever met since coming to Europe. Louis promises her that he won't do what Daciana did if things get tough ("taste the fire"); and tries to cheer her up ("you and me, me and you") by suggesting that they leave Eastern Europe & go to Paris instead. Claudia takes hope that he's sincere about finally choosing her over Lestat (but little does she know that he's still hallucinating DreamStat right next to her, OOF). But her mood doesn't pick up in Paris at all ("New Orleans, unhappy! Vampire homeland, unhappy! Paris, unhappy!"). The post-war city's broke as a joke, and they're stuck pick-pocketing just to get by, when what she wants is "francs and diamonds, and heaven to open up and rain down mink stoles" and to stop living like a bum already. She pays for a blunt AF dressmaker who calls her French "ugly" to tailor more adult clothes for her with the bloodstained jewellery she ripped off her victims. Louis' toxic positivity visibly grates on her nerves--"the male hunted to please her, the girl suffered philosophical conversation to please him," and she's tired of the burden of being his emotional support "throw-pillow" tryna seem cheerful just to keep Louis happy, when really she's "afraid my joylessness will take away his happiness and maybe I don't want his feelings to depend on mine anymore. Maybe I want to be joyfully joyless." 😔💔

8) Louis finally does something right and gets approached by Armand, nabbing them invites to the Theatre des Vampires--"the first time in Paris I had seen a smile or a laugh come out of her that wasn't for my benefit" ("come the coven, you're beaming like the whole world went technicolor!"). She LOVES their sadistic plays/snuff films, and Santiago especially, and wants to be an actress in their coven/Theatre. But trust Louis to be a Negative Nancy raining on her parade with his doom & gloom about how much danger they're in, just cuz the coven built a shrine to Lestat--who just so happened to have founded the Theatre 1 billion years ago & never told them ("I want to be with my own! Don't ruin this for me, Louis. I need this!").

9) When asked who their Maker was, Claudia finds herself finally forced to speak up about Bruce, a name she'd never spoken out loud; using him as a cover in order to not let it slip that she & Louis already offed Lestat. In order to get their lie/story straight, Claudia divulges all the deets about Bruce to Louis, from him being affiliated with Copenhagen (his Maker), to how many moles he had on his crotch as he raped her, "I remember what I remember!," to how many times he told her he loved her as he kept her pinned under the floorboards.

10) The coven hazes Claudia for weeks, but she "takes the abuse in stride" to prove her sincerity and value to the coven she's eager to join, "a flea no more!" Only to learn to her absolute horror that the "grand plans" they had for her was her being stuck "for the next 50 years" in the humiliating role of Baby LouLou (Louis' Baby), a child locked away by her abusive family, who goes crazy and kills herself when she realizes that death is the only way to ever be free. The novelty of being an actress swiftly wears off, and after 500 plays/18 months Claudia finally speaks up about how sick & tired she is of playing the role & being insulted & triggered & "reminded of it every night of my existence...while the mortals laugh and point. I relive every condescending look or f**king comment I have ever had to suffer!" Maitre Armand refuses to lose his cash cow, Blaxploitation in full effect as his Theatre's never been so successful until she showed up, pimping her out to stroke his ego & make his Theatre rich by having her walk the streets in her costume & racket up an even bigger audience for her shows. She looks to Louis for help, but Louis does eff all & just shrugs at her--she pledged herself to the coven/cult/gang, now she's stuck ("go sit in your choice, Sister!"). (Ofc she doesn't know Louis DID tell Armand off about it later on, cuz it did eff all to help.)

11) The ONE person she feels is in her corner is that same blunt AF dressmaker, Madeleine, who still says her French is ugly, but that the dress & songs are even worse and "they should kill whoever wrote it" (*cough* Sam! *cough*). Claudia starts giving Madz rides home from the Theatre, as they bond over how badly Claudia's being treated by the coven ("Are you their hostage?" "More like they're my family?"), and how badly Madz is being treated by the Parisians for being a Nazi collaborator who had the worst taste in men. Claudia sums up the story of her life: "Mom died. Dad ran off. Aunt didn't want me. A fire. Adopted. One of them was bad trouble. Ran away. One dark thing after another.... Even in between the dark things, there's something broken in me. A collision in me, like I wanna go BANG!" Madz encourages her to be her authentic self and go Bang, and Claudia realizes that Madz is maybe really seeing her.

12) Armand picks the right/wrong time to confront Claudia about breaking their rules & spending time with humans. She goes Bang! and reads him for filth, "I missed a chore and made a friend. And before you tell me to make friends with the coven, I can't, because they've turned inward too long ago and you know it! Which is why you run to Louis!" For her honest candor, Armand commences with Chokehold #5, threatening to kill her like "you treated your Maker" if she doesn't stop doing the "bare minimum" to follow his hypocritical AF rules the coven breaks all the time anyway (Santiago having sex in brothels with "half the working girls at Le Chanabais," and Gustave running down the streets drunk AF hollering "I am a vampire!").

13) Claudia confronts Louis for blabbing to Armand about Lestat, only to be shocked when Louis admits that Armand knew the very first time they showed up to the Theatre that they were lying about "Bruce" with his Mind Gift. She tells Lou that Armand threatened to kill her, only for Louis to show & prove how naive & d**kmatized he is, "That doesn't sound like him." Claudia is effing GOBSMACKED, and reads him for fiiiiiiilth, "Oh, I forgot! Love makes you STUPID! Makes you fickle and weak and blind! Let me guess, he's your companion finally? Well, good for f**king you! You and him! Him and you! You and f**king him! PICKED ANOTHER ONE, OVER ME!"

14) Having already moved out of the flat to live with the coven ("wtf's gone on without me here!?"), Claudia ditches her diaries behind with Louis. Her final entry says "Diaries are friends of last resort. I have found one not made of paper and glue. F**k these vampires." She's bonded with Madz, closer than ever after Madz is almost gang-raped by the anti-Nazi patriots & Claudia kills them all, revealing her vampiric nature to save Madz. Louis busts them together, and Claudia asks him to ask Armand to Turn Madz. Louis tries to appeal to Armand relishing not having to compete with "the burden of her" to be with Louis, and she's visibly hurt, but he's just confirming for her what she's already feared, that he'll always pick the man he's sleeping with over her--but it'll all be worth it if she gets her own companion, too. 🤞 But Armand says NO.

15) Meanwhile, Claudia had had no choice but to continue serving the coven, "always a yes, Maitre~!," having no effing clue that Santiago'd broken into Louis' flat & stolen all of her diaries, as part of a Trial the coven was devising right under her nose to sentence her & Louis to death for "killing" Lestat. Louis Turns Madz into a vampire after Armand refuses, and Claudeleine runs away from the coven & leaves Paris together. ✌️ That is the last straw for Armand (who's moved into HER apartment and is sleeping in HER effing coffin, btw). When Loumand invites Claudeleine for a family outing (barely even a few weeks later, if the timeline's any indication), Armand uses it as the opportunity to have Claudia, Louis, and Madeleine all abducted, dragged kicking & screaming back to the Theatre to be put on Trial and publicly executed for their "crimes" against the coven. 💀

16) Claudia is stuffed in the Rat Box to be chewed on by feral flesh-eating rodents, Louis is beat unconscious when he tries to fight the coven off and help her, and Madz is Mind Fogged by ONLY Santiago to STFU & not interfere with any of the proceedings. They're exhibited on stage with all of their ankles slashed thru the bones, hamstrung like runaway slaves to guarantee that they can't escape. Santiago flaunts her stolen diaries for the audience, letting them violate her privacy and read everything she ever wrote, "We have your words here, in all their chilling premeditation!," even reading them out loud in a mocking voice ("and that's when the black angel came~!"). Any time Claudia & Louis try to speak up & defend themselves & set the record straight, the ENTIRE coven collectively Mind Fogged them to make them STFU, hitting them so bad her nose bleeds & Louis' eye hemorrhages.

17) The cherry on top, friggin Lestat waltzes on the stage, and nearly every word out of his effing mouth is a damning testimony against Louis & Claudia in particular. He'd painted his star-crossed history with Louis as a "story of love," but has no such romantic purple prose for Claudia. His account of her Turning constantly emphasized how much he didn't want to make her, how she'd be "miserable" & "a cripple... defective... pain and anxiety as her only birthright;" and that following the coven's oh-so-Great Laws was more important than saving her life, "we didn't know any laws!" OTOH Les made it seem like he cared about her well-being, BOTOH Claudia points out that if Les cared so much he'd've refused regardless, but didn't, cuz he's just as d**kmatized as Louis, "Good luck on how that f**ker didn't ask. Gave me no say, made me more of a vampire than anyone up here!" And Lestat goes off-script to own up to breaking the law to make her, but Santiago quickly handwaves it cuz "you were manipulated into it" & babytrapped by Louis. Les then brags about how she was the "consummate killer" cuz HE "gifted her a predator's upbringing," despite Louis always tryna CODDLE & defang her vampiric potential. Like...? 🤔 Claudia just laughs in Lestat's face; all his love/pride's still not gonna stop her from getting killed.

18) Lestat decontextualizes her struggles in NOLA, diminishing everything down to how her "defect caught up with her [as her] moods worsened" as she started burning herself. He conveniently doesn't mention how Claudia at first only burned herself just to childishly experiment with vampire sunburning/healing; and that her moods only worsened AFTER she'd accidentally killed Charlie--cuz Lerstat hadn't told her about the Little Drink--who's not mentioned in the Trial AT ALL, and whom Les then forced Claudia to watch burn, which deeply traumatized her. Instead, Les mocks her grief AGAIN a la 1x5, weaponizing it against her by saying she only burned herself "for attention" not as the cry for HELP it was. It had nothing to do with her being"defective," and everything to do with Lestat not teaching/treating her right.

19) Claudia is then depicted as a raving monster during the segment about her killing sprees, again having her grief and "penchant for human souvenirs" decontexualized--it's not mentioned how she's collecting ADULT body parts--including adult female breasts she'd never be able to grow ("your chest…you don't have more than you did two years ago"). Instead, she's just a defect acting with no moral compass whatsoever, and is thus punishable by death for being a monster--(even though Santiago uses the same argument to excuse Les Dropping Lou a few minutes later cuz "I ask you to set aside your mortal biases and remember that we are monsters~!" 🙄😒)

20) Claudia is so infuriated & offended by Lestat's White Tears that she goes BANG!, and gets to her feet to cuss him out to his face, despite how much pain she's in as she struggles to hobble over to him on her gashed feet oozing blood all over the stage. Lestat can be forgiven for beating the dog snot of of Louis & dropping him "like an egg from an airplane;" but she can't be forgiven for being born "defective," and made that way BY Lestat?! "CAN I CRY AND SAY THAT I'M SORRY, TOO!?" Hayul to the naw, and she calls this kangaroo court exactly what it is: "it's not a Trial, it's a stoning!"

21) She's done arguing, cuz she knows Lestat DGAF about her, he's just there for wax poetic about Louis and whine about his hurt feelings; without a single apology to HER for how he treated her and WHY she wanted him dead, "it's never been about me!" She feels like a "roof shingle" that flew off of Loustat's house during the "stormy romance of YOU TWO!," sick to dangit death of her parents not GAF about putting her first, so wrapped up in their own mess. But MADELEINE stood 10 toes deep for Claudia, even in the face of imminent death, and announced "MY COVEN IS CLAUDIA." Her dads raised her for 20+ years, but Madz only knew her for less than 5, and STILL put Claudia first and martyred herself for love, incredible.

22) Claudia is sentenced to death next, and Lestat does her ONE effing favor by making Santiago let Claudia have her final request. Like the BAMF she is, Claudia goes BANG! and puts a whole hex on the audience, promising to come back from the dead and kill every last one of them, come Hell or high water! 😈👻🙏 It's the LEAST Lestat can effing do for his daughter before she's burned alive at the stake. Meanwhile, Louis is fighting tooth & nail to not be torn from his daughter when the coven drags him downstairs to be buried alive--the man who has NO Maker/Fledgling Vampire Bond connection with her whatsoever, but who leapt through fire into a burning building to save her, and who crossed an ocean to wander through the European war-theater to make her happy, and who gave her MADELEINE as a companion when he knew his company was inadequate. book!Claudia died hating Louis' guts, but AMC!Claudia died loving Louis (even though he drove her nuts), and the last words Louis ever heard Claudia say was her screaming his name, as she watched him struggling to stay by her side. Meanwhile, Lestat stood on that stage and heard her sing that wretched song, sobbing in pain as she held onto the ashes of her companion Madeleine, before succumbing to the sunlight too. She turns to Lestat for HELP in her last dying moments, "the last thing she saw on Earth was him," watching her burn to nothing but ash and doing eff all to help her, feeling unwanted & unloved by her Blood Father (ofc not knowing that Les had drained himself saving Louis with Banishment, and COULDN'T help her).

23) And Claudeleine wasn't even left alone after death, cuz that dirty mofo Santiago took their ashes and desecrated them, "We used her as eye shadow for the next month's performances. We put them in the pepper shaker for the popcorn we sold in the aisles. And some nights, Louis, I put a pinch of them in my fist before I closed my coffin at night. I would spit in them and I'd use her hot, wet ashes to pleasure myself!" 🤢🤮

TL;DR: Claudia didn't get to kill nearly enough people. 😔

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 10/05 NXT 10/07 NXT UK 10/08 Smackdown 10/09 + Main Event 10/08

Raw:

“This Asuka reign has been spectacular thus far,” d e b a t a b l e

Is Asuka continuing her feud with Zelina? If so, why? If not, why is this 6 woman match happening? Just spinning your wheels some more?

It’s been an interesting experience watching Dana grow throughout the years. Also nice flip by Nattie off of Dana’s headscissors takedown.

Love to see Dana and Mandy matching colors. Tag teams matching gear is my jam. Next is a theme song/name.

Lovely delayed double suplex by Dandy.

Small mistake in Mandy nearly falling over, but I mostly want to compliment the slide her boots did against the mat lmao. That was probably unintended, but looked super smooth.

I actually like Mandy now that she’s not imitating a stripper, but I’d really appreciate it if she could learn new trash talk that isn’t just, “who do you think you are,” repeated ad nauseam.

I don’t watch Main Event, but they should consider having Mandy and Dana wrestle more on there if they don’t already. Those are 2 that can use the consistent practice.

There’s so many minor things Natalya does to keep matches together with greener women. She deserves more respect.

Man these women work incredibly well together. Asuka, Nattie, Dana, Lana, Mandy... so cohesive. Loved that entire ending sequence from the moment Lana and Asuka tagged in. Lana has really increased her speed as well.

I am here to dole out positive praise for the blondes that nobody gives any credit to. Remembering where Dana was in 2016, Lana was in 2017, or even Mandy was in 2018, and seeing them all now? They get my applause. The midcard on Raw is entertaining, sue me. Fun match.

pppfffftttttt love how Zelina just slowly slinks outta the ring like, “yeahhhh have fun with that, this ain’t my fight peace.”

Alright ngl, I am now starting to get sad that Lana is getting rekt nearly every week. rip. First match of the night btw and the commentators are losing their desk lmao.

Does KO have to spell out everything happening in wrestling? Sir I actually pay attention to the stories y’all be telling me. Can I get a condensed version?

“He’s everywhere,” Alexa is creepy and compelling, I’m gonna keep singing her praises til she gives me a reason not to.

I personally just hope Fiend uses new gloves for every new victim, what with covid and all.

“Bury a body together in the woods,” SIR.

I like that Alexa is kept separate from Bray and is solely attached to Fiend. I know that’s going to change, but for now, I like that line being drawn in the sand.

Omg he shed tears. Whew.

Why y’all allergic to showcasing Bianca against people who I fucking recognize lmao.

Again, I know she’s a college graduate. I know she’s smart on some fucking level. Telling me why the sky is blue (cept not really as it just appears that way) AIN’T IT THOUGH.

Put her in a match, that’s where she needs the most work. Jesus.

Oh good we get to hear Nia’s music on the way to the ring. She has the superior theme.

Nia body checking Ruby in the corner. I felt that.

I like Shayna’s joint manipulation, I only wish she’d wear down her opponents before she started in on it, cuz it drastically slows down the pacing of the match. There’s a spot for it if you get the momentum of the match going first, but she almost always just jumps straight into this. 

Ruby getting rekt. What Riott Squad need is a good showing. Not to be damn near demolished. I doubt anyone actually expected them to win this match, but come on.

At least Shayna sold the tornado ddt well.

Meh could’ve been a better showing for RS. Kind of disappointing. Liv didn’t even use any offense to break the Kirifuda Clutch, just yelled dramatically af. Tears galore.

Highlight: Seeing Lana/Mandy/Dana improve & work cohesively with veterans in Nattie & Asuka

---

NXT:

Isn’t nxt supposed to be the brand that hides a performer’s weakness? Why does Ember Moon have a mic in the middle of the ring? Have her do a quick interview in the back, or better yet wrestle. Hello??

Don’t thank them, they are your coworkers, and only one of them even said welcome back. sigh.

GIRL I’M SHOCKED THEY LET YOU TALK ON THE MIC TOO like for what reason???

This is why Ember Moon will never be a champion on the main roster jfc. At least she can get away with being nxt champ if she refrains from speaking.

Well damn I was actually interested in Rhea’s promo, thanks a lot Raquel smh.

Io’s like “...nah, I’m good right here.”

Io is a woman of few words, but they are always flawlessly spoken and drenched in logic. Still a huge fan of her as champion.

Storytime. Becky Lynch has named 2 people as potential break out stars that could reach (close to) the heights she has reached. Sonya Deville was one, whom I believe Becky was right on the money with, and Toni Storm was the other. Now I don’t see whatever the hell Becky sees in Toni, but damn it if she was right about Sonya, I want her to be right about Toni as well. So I hope this heel turn actually brings the fire, decent acting, and passable promos from her.

Toni has a swagger you can’t teach; she has an aura and confidence to her. There are just some pieces that have been missing. We’ll see though, I’ll give her a clean slate to win me over.

*The Garganos receive a gift* No.

I kind of like that there’s an unspoken agreement between Raquel and Dakota that Dakota is the star who should win the title, with no lingering feelings of animosity or resentment between them.

Anyway Dakota you lost to Io, plz lol.

*The Garganos see potential in Indi Hartwell* No.

I hate Shotzi’s entrance and dialogue so damn much lmao. She’s so annoying, I’m not sorry. I’ll give her props in the ring where I see fit, but her personality is such a turn off to me.

Such a short match that I have nothing to say about it. Good for Shotzi gaining some momentum. Still waiting to see where Xia Li goes with these losses amounting.

Cool one of the best themes has been changed :/ rip Ember’s og theme.

Sloppy, sloppy attempt at a standing crucifix by Ember. oof.

Ember is short but she can sure jump high, this is true.

Ember plz sell.

Jeeze I nearly forgot how good Ember’s suicide dive is. One of the best, truly.

Great bump onto the floor by Rhea.

Flat landing by Dakota. Bravo. Love how Dakota bumps Rhea’s bench press.

No excuse for Dakota not tagging in when Ember got the tag. Awkward.

Looked more like a modified flatliner rather than a uranage, but sure. 

Love watching Dakota and Rhea work together. They have great chemistry.

LOVE Dakota’s Kairopractor. One of my favorite moves in nxt.

Great save by Raquel, great ddt taken by Raquel.

Sloppy “powerbomb” from Ember to Dakota... that’s a yikes. Ember indeed has ring rust. Eclipse is still a thing of beauty though, so there’s that.

I just want to say, I really like Rhea as a babyface and I hope wwe doesn’t turn her heel when she moves to the MR.

Highlight: Dakota & Rhea working together is always a treat

---

NXT UK:

Tell me why the beginning of Dani’s theme reminded me of White Wedding by Billy Joel? The lack of lighting in her entrance does her song a disservice.

Really like Nina’s theme... irritating how they cut off Amale’s theme so quickly to introduce her, though.

HAHA Xia tried kipping up out of the leg scissors and she got popped on the midsection.

Lovely escape...? Alright well, fill the dead air with meaningless comments I guess. No, don’t pipe in applause for that.

Twisting her arms in reverse and then forward accomplished nothing.

I appreciate Dani’s underrated strength.

Decent reverse suplex by Nina.

Deadweight suplex by Dani. Nice.

Amale is... abysmally green.

Took a beautiful German suplex, though.

Do not like Xia’s finisher.

This match wasn’t a mistake, but man talk about lower card.

Much like I did with Toni Storm, all I see when I look at Piper now, is when she cried during the match with KLR lmao. Round of applause for KLR making all of her opponents cry kekekek.

“[KLR] better watch what she says, or else..” or else what? More of y’all gonna cry in her direction? oof your champ is HEAD AND SHOULDERS above everyone else on that roster, plz.

Sure she’s held the title for a year cuz of the pandemic, but if we remove all of that time UK spent isolated, she should still hold that title for a year minimum. Whenever someone wants to exhibit possessing the full package she has, they can step up. Even on the mic, KLR is untouchable.

Lol y’all can waltz out pissy all you want. I laugh.

“We've got witches that can't cast spells, Valkyries that can't fly, and these two can't even get along long enough to challenge me. And here she is, the worst of them all, the ultimate letdown... a piper that plays to my tune.” LMFAOOO. This is such a good promo, I can’t.

Knowing NXT, they’ll throw them in a battle royal to decide Kay Lee’s next opponent. Should run a tournament though.

KLR makes that title prestigious, goodbye.

Highlight: Fantastic KLR promo

---

Smackdown:

Alright real talk, why did Sasha get a title shot here? Why would Bayley give it to her without a struggle when she damn well knows Sasha could easily be the one to take it from her? When was it even accepted by Bayley?

Tbh I kind of hate this feud unless they’re in the same room/arena together. They work magic together, truly, but all of the inbetween stuff was garbage.

Love how Sasha just wants to beat the crap out of Bayley. Solid stuff.

Lol Bayley goes to leave lololol.

These are some clean counters and roll throughs. Always give props to Sasha for her counters.

See, cool, Sasha and Becky’s hiac match was set up with a chair, too... cept they had a great match for 15 mins and then brawled all over the arena. This could’ve all been set up SO much better. Then again tbf, it doesn’t even make sense for Bayley to accept this match with her to begin with, so I get the intentional dq as quickly as possibly on Bayley’s behalf. Would’ve been better if a gm had set this match up instead.

Great acting by Sasha.

How long til KO just pops Bliss across the face? No I’m kidding, wwe would never do that. Setting fire to someone, on the other hand...

Nothing about this promo felt genuine to me; the delivery was subpar.

When does Alexa receive an upgrade from ‘supportive mistress’ to ‘queen that helps fuck up Fiend’s victims’? I do appreciate them taking their time with her arc, it’s rare to see them do such a slow burn and not drop the ball with it.

Highlight: Sasha’s aggression in the ring

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

The sheer hatred I have for Peyton’s theme. Awful.

Peyton vs Billie matches reminds me of the type of stuff I used to skip back in the late 2000s.

You watch best friends Sasha/Bayley, and you see some innovative, impactful moves. You watch best friends Becky/Charlotte, and you see 2 people beating the absolute shit out of each other with vitriol. You watch best friends Billie/Peyton, and you see 2 people who are afraid of hurting one another :/

Nice roll through pin by Billie.

Positive: there’s no crowd to boo them.

Just noticed the bottom row of monitors are behind the barricade, and I just want to know why tf they exist lmao.

Oh perfect, the second I began to regret turning this on, it ended. Okay anyway.

---

*NXT shined the brightest. Love how they utilized their women’s division, even if some of it was a hit or miss. Also love seeing Dakota and Rhea work together.