#taz accounting

[theek-ache]

I have thoughts I will keep to myself

[seefasters]

average travis player character: some sort of guy with backstory happenings of various levels of tragedy

average clint player character: old man with a mischievous streak (always on the verge of death)

average griffin player character: lil guy with impostor syndrome and trying SO hard

average justin player character: the weirdest person anyone has ever heard of, ever

[ducknewtonscoolhat]

On this day I present

Every single time Duck Newton is horrible at lying !

Episode 7

Duck: Yeah, it’s a nickname. Listen, y’all got a van handy, why don’t you hop in and get on trucking. Don’t forget to— don’t worry ‘bout your clothes. We’ll drive them up seperate.

Swimmer: Why can’t we take our clothes?

Duck: [freezing up] You need to— you need— uh. Here, I’ll get them. Y’all start loading in the van and I’ll bring your clothes out to ya’s. Just another one of the many services we offer from the Forestry Service.

Episode 10

Pigeon: Well, I know how to do it, I just wanna know why.

Duck: Perfect. Perfect. Why? It's for firefighter training? Yeah, it's for firefighter training. It's been a little while since I last told someone that, so I had some time to forget it. But it's for firefighting training, cuz we can't get enough water pressure to fight the fires, forest fires.

Pigeon: Out in Monongahela?

Duck: Yeeeeeeep.

Pigeon: Duck, that's on the opposite side of town. I can find other places that I can get you some more water pressure instead of pumping it out of the water park almost a mile away.

Duck: Yeah, but the water park is definitely gonna be closed. If you can tell me somewhere where you can guarantee that they're not gonna need that amount of water that's using that amount, I'd love to hear about it. Cus, off the top of my head, I can't improvise anything.

Pigeon: There's a reservoir right next to Monongahela.

Duck: The reservoir is a source of water but it's not gonna give other— fuck, listen Pigeon, here's the thing. I... love... to… practice fishing. But... the running water... frightens me, it's called hydrophobia. And I would love to practice my cast in a real water environment where I can get in a large body where I can guarantee that running water won't be a factor. And I would just love to practice my cast in a guaranteed still body. But here's the other thing, sometimes if you do it in a lake, that's what you're thinking, a fish will bite it and normally that's ideal, but I'm just trying to practice casting. It's like, when you don't want to catch, that's when they're biting, y’know what I mean? So I need a still body of water that I can guarantee won't move to practice my fishing casting.

Episode 13

Duck: I should’ve put some time into it, honestly, but I uh… I was real busy with family over the holidays, so I didn’t make much—

Mama: You literally just said you didn’t have any family in town over the holidays.

Duck: God dammit. Dammit!

Mama: I mean, it’s fine if you couldn’t dig anything up, but you don’t gotta lie to old Mama, you know?

Duck: Dammit! Dammit, Duck!

Mama: You don’t have to beat yourself up about it, Duck, I mean po—

Duck: Fuck!

Episode 14

EMT: Do you know what happened to him?

Duck: Oh boy…um…do you want the truth or a more convincing lie? Um, nah so, okay, right… so the Pizza Hut sign started to fall, ‘cause of the weather, and he ran up there on… a fire escape… and tried to push it? …With a bat? Damn it. Nah, he just pushed it, and it fell, but then he fell ‘cause he got shocked. I bet… mmm…I didn’t see. I was in-Ah, shit! Alright, hey fol-hey guys, rewind. I-hey guys, rewind a second. Ah fuck! I was inside, I didn’t see. Anything! I don’t know… this man. I do know this man. His name-Fuck!  Alright, I Ned, hi, here's-hmmm. Alright, so this man’s name is Ned, and he’s a friend of mine, and I don’t know what the hell happened to him, but you know this guy. He’s always getting into something. I don’t know, I was in the building, I almost got killed by a Pizza Hut sign. I might be in shock!

Episode 18

Duck: Honestly… uh if I gotta tell you the truth, Juno, I’m— I was trying to get into character. I’ve been—

Juno: You’re going undercover with these teens?

Duck: —I’m going undercover. I got a undercover teenage identity. It’s— it’s Frick Richums and when I assume the identity of Frick Richums, I’m trying to get undercover, with the Hornets [hisses] so I can find their illegal grow thing. [grunts]

Juno: You are a truly miserable liar, Duck Newton.

Duck: Goddamnit! I put on such a good— damnit!

Juno: Hey, when you’re finished with the… with those, those nails. Would you mind taking them back to the station? I need to sort of keep going around the perimeter see if I can find something to, you know, maybe help with your investigation to take down those— those drug kingpins, the Hornets.

Duck: Yeah, Juno, about that. I— I was kidding about that, of course. I was just having some fun. But I did… I did hear some of them talking on...... Facebook about you and how they were gonna target you. Like they need to get you out of the way. And it kinda freaked me out a little bit. Can you think of any reason anybody would wanna get you… outta the way? Or— or be targeting you? Like… for this?

Episode 21

(Deputy Dewey is asking for alibis)

Duck: Me— Me— Me too.

Deputy Dewey: You too what? You were

Duck: Yup.

Deputy Dewey: Alright…

Duck: Me too. I was— Yup, I— Yup, me too, for both. Yup, me too. Mmm…

Aubrey: Duck, are you okay? You look like you need to use the bathroom.

Duck: Nope. Yeah, I do. Yup. Uh, Burritos, alright… Bye.

Episode 22 Featuring Ned and Aubrey also being bad at lying

Morgue Technician: Can I help y'all with something?

Duck: Well, we would like to see the bodies of--

Aubrey: My brother!

Duck: My dad.

Ned: My son.

Duck: His brother. Her-- His-- His son, her brother, my dad.

Aubrey: Not related. There's two of 'em.

Ned: But you have to figure out which two.

Duck: We need to see a body for a dare. I'm sorry about all the lies from before but we need to see a body for a dare.

Aubrey: I was dared to look at the body of my brother.

Ned: And my son.

Aubrey: I was dared to look at the body of his son. Who is also my brother. Because he is my father.

Episode 32

Duck: Um… yup. It‘s… Harpo. Uh, all… [imitating crackling noise] Y‘all hearing this? [imitating crackling] The… radio break up. Radio break up. Mrrr.

[thecheshirerat]

i love shuffling my taz music playlist

there’ll be a song that sounds like heist music, a song that sounds like generational heartbreak and the unwillingly made promise to change who you are to survive, and then another song that sounds like heist music,

oh yeah and then there's a song that sounds like heartbreak and pure loneliness and the sacrifices we make to buy time,

and then a song that sounds like the quiet nostalgia one has for a dear friend that they don’t get to see anymore but who occupies a very special place in one’s heart,

and then a song that sounds like quiet determination in the face of a deep and complicated loneliness, sheer and defiant faith in oneself,

and then a song that sounds like broken promises and teeth-gritted insistence on resolving something with someone who betrayed you,

and then a song that sounds like an electronic remake of any old podcast interstitial, perhaps in between acts of This American Life

[starrysunglasses]

[start i.d. A digital drawing of Aubrey Little from the adventure zone. She is standing in a dark brown background, holding her hands to her chest, where beams of bright orange light emanate. Her eyes are entirely orange, and she is looking slightly up into the distance, a calm expression over her face. She has dark brown skin and hair that is shaved on the sides and poofy on the top, dyed  in bright oranges and yellows. She is wearing a black fishnet shirt, over which she has a grey shirt and a red flannel and a dark blue jean jacket, which itself has a couple pins and patches, including the pine guard patch on one shoulder.  She is wearing dark jeans and brown combat boots. End i.d.]

“Free up all the love in that big, remarkable heart of yours for the rest of the world.” - Ned Chicane

[boydykedevo]

just curious if there's a consensus here so:

Specifically THEME music, this isn't about the rest of the soundtrack (or the rest of the campaign for that matter). I’m excluding Balance both so as not to bias the results, and cuz the theme’s not original music.

Linky links under the cut in case anyone needs a refresher (listen to all of them before voting if you can!) Also feel free to listen to them all and vote even if ur not in the fandom! ^^

Commitment

Amnesty

Dust

Graduation

Ethersea

Steeplechase

[lesbijkas]

Together (Dead) a "what if Lup never went missing looking for the Pheonix Fire Gauntlet and was sent out with Taako post voidfish memory wipe" fic; non-chronological, (temporary) major character death, angst/goofs, hurt/comfort

2 chapters are up now, one written two years ago acting as the prologue with a second brand new chapter to boot. please read. and enjoy.

[foccaccia]

cringe culture is dead. i wrote legend of zelda fanfiction

[bureauofoutstandingbalance]

“All we know / Is that stars will fall / And holidays come and go.”

[thecandlenightszone]

No 2023 event :(

Hello! I wanted to give a heads up that I won’t be running the event this year. Unfortunately, I don’t feel up to doing so. Even last year I was a bit run down with it, and I feel like it showed.

HOWEVER if anyone else decides to run a TAZ related holiday event, please message me so I can reblog your posts and advertise it here! I’ve loved the little community that’s participated here over the years and it would be great to be able to direct them elsewhere. And if anyone wants advice on how I ran this behind the scenes, I’m totally happy to chat.

Thanks for supporting this event for four whole years! It’s been so much fun to run and I’ve loved seeing everyone’s works. Happy Candlenights to come!

Mod Kez

[dinerbrewcoffee]

YALL. I FINISHED THE FIRST PART OF THE ETHERSEA BAND AU FIC. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO READ IT

[punster-2319]

Got these recently. I just need season 4 to complete this collection. Seeing that the Season 3 set was released 4 years ago, this is starting to remind me of that period between 2007-2013 when Animaniacs fans had to wait 6 years for the 4th volume to come out. >_>

[ducknewtonscoolhat]

With the final episode of my relisten to Amnesty, I thought I would take the opportunity to remind everyone of this.

[noodyl-blasstal]

Uhuhuhhhh marine biologists au is this anything

Oh ho ho ho! Yeah it is! Thank you so much for this, I've had a great time playing with it.

[This is an ask game - give me an AU and I'll give you five things about it. Feel free to send your own!]

Marine biologist AU basic premise: the star blaster is a research vessel and the seven birds are crew. They're looking at an area where there has been a massive fish death. However, they're not supposed to - the area is privately owned by a big Definitely Above Board Corporation, so they have to be stealthy. Kravitz is a marine ecologist that works for the same research facility but there was a whole thing around Merle smashing his favourite mug and Magnus eating his lunch (accidentally) so they don't speak.

1) Kravitz is also investigating, he's on his own so has a much smaller boat and they don't notice him initially. He thinks they're polluters and it leads to a stand off.

2) They eventually decide to reluctantly team up. He and Taako do some water sampling, obviously it's fraught with sexual tension.

3) Barry needs a fish corpse (to dissect and assess in his lab) and he needs it asap. He's on a fission.

4) Merle assesses a tonne of algae/seaweed etc. and with the other results they realise it's related to pollutants

5) Dav and Lucretia use their ability to do bureaucratic nonsense to try and stop what's happening. The corporation tries to buy their way out and bury the story by buying off trash press and lawyering other press. Lup and Magnus use his weirdly popular (he does it topless and always features his bajillion dogs) woodworking [insert social media account of some description] to highlight what's going on and everyone knows the corporation is evil actually. (And it's my world, so something actually gets done)

[anistarrose]

18!

(wip ask meme)

18. Share the scene you just wrote, written from another character’s POV.

ended up being more of a prequel to a vampire fic I've been working on, because, uh. because the POV character for the fic itself is physically dead during this scene, as you'll see — but enjoy anyway! I think this actually stands on its own pretty coherently, and you can tell I'm really weak for Lucretia and Barry's friendship even though it's only a subplot in the full fic that's forthcoming :')

*

When Lucretia lets out the breath she was holding, it comes out as more of a sob. She falls to her knees, still clutching her wand.

There’s no motion on the hilltop besides her hands, still shaking from exertion — and from the curls of smoke, still rising from the glass. The result of the last spell that Barry had managed, the one that sent bolts of lightning across their attackers’ ranks. The spell that, in all likelihood, saved Lucretia’s life for this cycle — because she’s been improving at combat magic at a rate that surprises herself most of all, but without Barry’s last act, she would’ve been far too outnumbered to fight her way out. Much less do what it took to avenge him.

Oh, gods. There’s so much blood. At least they’re coming up on the end of the cycle — it wasn’t a comforting thought yesterday, being so far from finding the Light of Creation — but it’s the only thing keeping Lucretia from crying today, even though the Light is still nowhere in sight. Like a mantra, she repeats: Barry won’t be gone for long.

From her canteen, she pours as much water as she can spare onto Barry’s face, washing away the blood. His expression isn’t frozen in one of pain, just exhaustion. He could almost be mistaken for being asleep, were it not for the stillness of his chest, for his pulse being long gone.

…A few cycles back, when Magnus had died in especially bloody fashion, Barry had been the one who could best stomach it, the one who took it upon himself to do the burial. Then upon respawn, he’d been the one to regale Magnus with the story of his gory, heroic death — to ease the sting of missing the back half of the cycle. And Barry hadn’t even struck Lucretia as merely starting to get desensitized, like she is — no, he struck her as just being like that — but nevertheless, she thinks he had the right idea.

When he’s back, she’ll spare no detail about all the blood and gore and smoke that he left behind, because that’ll cheer him right up. He’ll love that. And Lucretia’s spirits will rise too, as soon as she sees Barry laughing again.

“See you next year, friend,” she whispers, and gets to her feet. Friend? Mentor? Brother? Even father figure, at least in Merle and Davenport’s absence? Any combination of the above? Now might not be the best time to unpack all that.

No, it’s the time to search for something from which she can fashion a shovel. And while she’s at it, maybe pick some flowers.

[boydykedevo]

Not including any Balance cuz 1. they would win in a landslide and that’s no fun 2. I’ve only listened to like three of them and 3. There’s so goddamn many and I’ve only got ten slots