#tayler and i fucking cried

[tommo2real]

Tell Tayler I know she a gay me and I tried for years to get back with her. Should’ve choose me … I guess he died in her arms! But she was cheating on me any way. I know she probably figured I was cheating but I never cheated on her , I may have flirted a little bit but I respected her and accepted her flaws. Got me scared to love again cause I really thought she was mines and only for me. I told her if I ever seen her with someone else then she wouldn’t get me back . She had a sugar daddy, which seemed like she was following her friends cause I stayed buying her gifts so she didn’t need a sugar daddy . She could’ve kept it real and ended things with me before she start entertaining someone else. Yeah I cried over her she was my first Love. But ion know if that was fake love and I remember loving her so much that I just wanted her to be happy even if it wasn’t with me. I remember seeing her at Jasmine’s party. She was dancing on other niggas .Come on now I moved to Chicago 3 times I never said she was the reason but she was. I thought she was my person but I guess not. I was out there dealing with hatred from close people to eventually I got fed up and moved back to Minnesota. Then the gay me was either Essence or Saddie I wanted to fuck them but thing just ain’t go that way . And they was underaged. I’ve been lonely for years. I went from 18 - 21 with no sex , I mean I was smoking but to me that’s not the same . As a man about to be 27 I deserve to have more than 1 real relationship in my life. Y’all was supposed to make it real as possible. There should be some females that I just fuck and some females that actually get to have a relationship with.

No love spells because I remember wanting to break up with her when I noticed she had hoe-ish ways. But the universe wouldn’t let me leave her. It’s crazy now cause now I’m questioning if even wanna get married or have children. We used to talk everyday I felt like I was on it ,I tried my best , I didn’t leave no room for any other man to be her boyfriend. She let greed get in the way of her love. She was hella bitches bro you shouldnt have to feel like that about your life

[gukiex]

umm guys....

I..... got tickets to see bts????????

[hypingthesway]

The Moment - Noah Beck

Chapter Thirty-Nine

The air hit my face as I opened the balcony door but I was unsure of what to do next. Everything seemed so different now and looking at him, I couldn’t tell whether or not we’d ever be like we were. The pain I felt because of what he did was so real and so strong, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

“It wasn’t fair.” He whispered, killing the silence between us. “What you said to her; it wasn’t fair.” Letting out a laugh, I stood there in disbelief. Did he really just say that to me? “It was me, not her.”

“Did she stop you?” I asked, moving to the edge of the balcony and resting my arms on it.

“No-”

“Then it was fair.” The silence returned and I was convinced he had just come to plead his case. I had high hopes for him. He presented himself as someone who was level-headed and could actually see right from wrong but he had done what I was afraid everyone else would do; he broke me. “It wasn’t worth it, was it?”

“Reg-”

“We said we’d be friends, Noah and now I can’t even stand to look at you. In the end, we weren’t worth it.”

“We can work-”

“My parents are leaving for Italy next week.” I didn’t want to hear him out. I didn’t want to stand here and listen to excuses and reasons anymore; I just wanted to move on.

“Okay...Regan, just-”

“I’m going with them.” I saw him eyes widened from the corner of my eye and I knew it would come as a shock to him. I prefer to stay home, I always have but now, things are getting out of control and I need a break from all of it. “Have a good night, Noah.” Closing the door behind me and shutting the blinds, I cried. The tears I was fighting finally fell from my eyes once I knew he could no longer see me. 

---

“Get up.” Squinting my eyes, I felt the cool air touch my legs as the covers were ripped off my body. It was sunny, which mean I had officially cried myself to sleep for what felt like the 700th time in my life. “Were you going to tell me? Or wait until I found out from someone else? Oh wait, the latter just happened!”

I knew Casey would be pissed whether she found out from me or from someone else. Obviously, I wanted to be the one to tell her and I was going to but all this Noah drama was getting in the way of my entire life.

“Casey-”

“Noah called me last night. I thought he was just going to ask me to talk to you, maybe get you to calm down but instead Noah blew up my entire life by telling me you were leaving for Italy next week!? So then I talked to Tayler, much to my surprise; he didn’t know either! You know what he said to me when I told him? He said you would never keep something like that from him so then I came here this morning and mentioned it to your parents...who didn’t even second guess what I was saying.”

“Casey, I was going to tell you,” I said, getting out of the bed. “I just...didn’t really know how.”

“Well now you don’t have to worry about it.” She spat, leaving my room before I could say anything else. 

“Why can’t I just have a normal fucking day!?” I yelled, throwing myself back onto my bed, trying to prepare myself for the rest of the day.

A/N: Happy New Year my little babes!! I hope this year brings health and you all find a source of happiness! I wish you all the best! Also, I promised myself I would get better at updating so hopefully, I stick to that!

[thewritenerd]

The Memories of Alana Grey

The two of them had been very close and watching her jida grow sicker and sicker had been hard on Alana. She had always been close to her jida and the news she was sick had not gone down well. For days after she had refused to eat and barely left her room. Eventually their dads had signed them up for grief counselling. It had been a gradual process but eventually she managed to get her life back to normal. She still got sad whenever they talked about her. But she stopped avoiding the subject and began to enjoy hearing stories about things jida had done before she knew her. Hasso sort of understood how she felt. Though it had been a while since his family had passed, and he didn’t remember them as well as jida he still missed them sometimes. When he mentioned it to Vic he had smiled at him and said.

‘I guess that just goes to show how much you loved them, and that you still love them.’ ‘But what if I stop missing them? Will that mean I don’t love them anymore?’ Hasso had asked. ‘I don’t think it will.’ His dad had reassured him. ‘There are some people you can’t stop loving. No matter how long you’re separated.’ Hasso wasn’t so sure, but he nodded and smiled at him. 

 The Ribbon

After

It was raining the day Hasso returned to college. The rain had been spotty when he’d dropped Tayler off at the child minders but by the time he’d pulled into the car park the rain looked like it was on par with the kind Noah must have seen during that flood. He ran inside as fast as he could without slipping only to nearly collide with Bakar. ‘Hey watch where you’re going ass whack!’ he cried before realising who had collided with him. ‘Oh it’s you.’ ‘Yeah it’s me.’ Hasso agreed. ‘I didn’t think you’d be coming in today. I mean the funeral was only two days ago.’ Hasso frowned at him. ‘Would you like to say that louder?’ he asked. ‘Sorry.’ Bakar shrugged looking a little sheepish. Bakar was Hasso’s oldest friend having first met when they were eleven. Both had struggled to make friends and eventually they found themselves being forced to partner up during class. Somehow this lead to them becoming friends. Maybe it was because their subconscious somehow knew the other was trans, even if Bakar at that time didn’t even know it himself. Maybe it was because they balanced each other out. Hasso reigned Bakar in when he got too mean and Bakar made sure no one just walked all over Hasso. Whatever the reason for their friendship it had been enough to keep them close all through school and into college. ‘So how are you doing?’ he asked Hasso. ‘About as well as I can be,’ he replied. ‘How about you?’ ‘As well as I can be. I have to leave at lunch to go to the hospital.’ Hasso nodded. ‘Hey man don’t look so grim. I’m not dying on you anytime soon. If cancer thinks it’s going to take me from my best friend when he needs me most it can get fucked. I’m staying and that’s final.’ Hasso gave him a smile. Bakar had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer when they were 16. The doctor had told them they’d be lucky to live out the year, Bakar had insisted he’d live longer than that. That had been two years ago and not only was he still alive he was going to college. Of course it would be wrong to say he wasn’t sick. In fact the sad truth was he was still dying. The doctors were just less sure about how long he’d last. Not that he’d let anyone see it bothered him. ‘Come on I need to sit down.’ they started walking in the direction of their classroom where there was a bench outside the door. Said bench was currently occupied by a group of girls who were all looking at one girls phone. ‘Okay ladies move up. I need to sit.’ One of the girls looked up and glared at him. ‘Then sit on the floor.’ Bakar pulled an offended face. ‘Did you just tell me, someone who’s in pain because of Cancer to sit on the floor?!’ he cried in an exaggerated manner. The girls face flushed red and she and her friends quickly got up. ‘Sorry I didn’t know. We need to get to class anyway.’ With that they hurried off. Bakar sat on the bench looking smug as Hasso sat next to him. ‘You are the worst,’ he scolded. ‘Satan trembles before me,’ Bakar joked. ‘Do you have any shame?’ ‘Not since I was five.’ 

***

They had just been allowed into the classroom when Waldemer came rushing over. ‘Oh someone’s early. Or at least early in Waldemer time.’ Bakar joked. ‘Hey it’s hard getting out of bed okay.’ At 17 Waldemer was the baby of Hasso’s friend group, though he was taller than both Bakar and himself. Looking over Hasso noticed Waldemer had dyed his hair purple. Though he hadn’t done a very good job as he could still see his original black hair peeking out the sides. They sat in their usual seats near the back of the class. Their Catering class was small, only around twelve students, and they were the only guys; though there were others in the other catering class. On the first day Bakar and Hasso had sat together in the corner and were joined shortly after by Waldemar had joined them. He didn’t say anything for a while, until Bakar asked about the scar under his right eye. He’d explained, in a thick Polish accent, that he’d fallen onto an upturned screw when he as a toddler and had the scar ever since. ‘I’m sorry if I make no sense,’ he’d added when he’d finished. ‘I’m from Poland so I don’t know if my English is good.’ They’d both reassured him his English was just fine, even if his accent was a little thick. ‘So how long have you lived in the UK?’ Bakar had asked. ‘Two months.’ That had been nearly two years ago. Now the three of them were the best of friends. A few months after the year had started Waldemer had started dating a guy called Ulrich, who in turn had introduced them to his two friends Lambert and Aleksandra. The two of them at the time had been dating, though they have since broken up. They made for an odd group but somehow it just worked. Hasso couldn’t have asked for better friends. When lunch came around they all met by their usual spot outside behind the art rooms. ‘Do you time to eat with us?’ Waldamar asked Bakar. ‘I thought you had an appointment?’ ‘I do. I asked mum to pick me up from there.’ ‘If I asked my mums to do that they’d just tell me to walk to the gate.’

[gourdeous-vladdy3790]

Where’s Colby McAuley? (An Orlando Solar Bears One-Shot)

“Hey, McAuley!” A deep voice bellows out.

A young man with short floppy blond hair parted to one side spins around. His blue eyes shimmer in the dim rays of light coming from street lights behind the arena.

A man in a black hoodie with his arms folded stands to the side.

“Can I help you?” Colby McAuley asks, running a hand through his hair.

“No, actually. Heard you had a big goal…” the man sneers, flashing an eerie grin at Colby.

Colby tenses up and spins around, clenching a fist as he hears the sound of a twig snapping to his side. He swings out as a tingle of electricity surges through his body. The fist connects with air, crumbles as the young Solar Bear player falters on his feet and crashes to the ground, falling unconscious.

The hooded man gives a chuckle. “We know how to handle you now, McAuley.”

Another man in a black hoodie with a skull mask steps forward, grabbing Colby under the arms and easily lifting him up.

Meanwhile, away from the bus, walking around the side of the arena, is two men with blond-dyed tips. One is a dirty blond and the other is a dark brunette man.

“Seriously man, you okay?” The blond man questions, putting a hand on the brunette’s shoulder. “I don’t have to kiss it to make it feel better?” He gives a cheeky grin.

The brunette rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. “No, Jonne.”

“Just making sure Somppikins, remember I can always kick their pitiful asses for you, Princess.”

“I’m not a Princess, Jonne. God, you can be so—” he is cut off by Jonne Tammela slapping a hand over his mouth with a serious “shhhh!”

Jonne shoves Otto Somppi behind a zamboni parked outside and then peers around the front, keeping his hand over Otto’s mouth.

Otto shoves Jonne’s hand away, frowning. “Jonne Tammela!!!”

“Shhhhh, Otto. Seriously. Look, it’s Colby…”

Otto licks his lips and then crawls around the other side of Jonne and peers out toward the bus. He gasps and throws his hand over his mouth.

“What should we do?” Otto mutters into his hand.

Jonne looks back at him. “Inform Captain Sauce immediately! Colby fainted or needs help...” He looks back at the scene by the bus, seeing the two hooded men. “Awwww, two fans are trying to help out baby Colbykins!”

Otto shakes his head, his eyes going wide. “No...They aren’t reviving him that’s for sure.”

Jonne blinks. “Oh shit, you’re right!”

Otto looks at his friend and frowns. “You...never mind, let’s just get to Mike Monfredo and inform him of this…”

“And...they’re dragging him into the back of a Mercedes…” Jonne reports, squinting. “Who are they? Everblades fans?”

Otto, remaining calm, whispers, “Yeah, this is getting worse. We need to get to Monfredo!” He gets to his feet.

Jonne clenches a fist. “I’m not just letting them kidnap my liney like that! Hang on Colbykins!!!” He then sprints from hiding.

“TAMMY, NO!!!” Otto hisses out.

Jonne bolts across the lot at full speed as the two men slam the trunk shut to trap the unconscious Colby McAuley inside.

“What do you think you’re doing?! LET HIM OUT!”

The two men spin around at the voice. Jonne hits one of them, sending them both to the hard concrete, while the other heads for the car. The pissed off Finn pins him to the ground, with enough force to remove the hood from his head.

“Cherniwchan!?” Jonne growls.

“Hey worthless injury prone freak!” Cherniwchan greets slyly. “Sorry to ruin the fun…”

“Let Colby McAuley go!”

“Who’s that?”

“Colby McAuley. I saw you putting him in the trunk!”Jonne snarls, slamming Cherniwchan against the ground.

“Get off of me, Finn!” The Stingray player chuckles and easily shoved Jonne off him. “You’re lucky you fall down so much that you’re not worth eliminating.”

Jonne freezes in place, clenching a fist. “Take that back! I’d hate to have to pummel you for real away from the ice!”

Cherniwchan stomps forward, slamming his foot on top of Jonne’s and spits a chunk of saliva out, right into the Finnish player’s face. “You won’t. Cause you’re soft. Soft like a little princess, kinda like McAuley’s getting to be.”

Jonne’s eyes harden as his eyebrows knit closer together with anger. The saliva ball splattered across the bridge of his nose and around his cheeks. Then he lunges forward and shoves the Stingray player backward with a fierceness.

“Oh-ho, look at...you!” Cherniwchan grabs Jonne’s arms and flings him backward, toward the wall, intent on knocking him out cold.

Jonne hits the wall, but remains upright, staggering slightly on his feet. He shakes his head to clear it and unleashes a loud battle scream. Then he dashes back, winding up to strike Cherniwchan. Instead, the Stingray goon steps to the side and Jonne crashes into the car’s side.

The Stingray once more spits at him and then kicks him in the side, before storming to get into the passenger seat of the car. “Later, loser.”

Jonne grunts in pain, struggling to get back to his feet and save Colby. “You can’t take Colby!!” He puts his hand on the bumper of the car as the engine guns to life. He musters his energy, but Cherniwchan’s sidekick in the driver’s seat, stomps on the gas and peels away. Jonne yelps and crashes back to the ground, his arm outstretching before him in the direction of the car’s exit.

“TAMMELA!” a gruff voice cries out.

“ARE YOU OKAY?” another voice tacks on, in a joking way.

Jonne bites his lip, trying to calm himself. Then the pain begins to settle in. He bites down harder, drawing blood from a cut on his lip. “CHERNIWCHAN TOOK COLBY!” He pushes himself up into a sitting position, his long locks of hair cascading down over his forehead like a vine entrance.

Footsteps thunder toward him. At least four people.

Suddenly one of them drops down to him and puts a hand, comfortingly on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll rally the others. We’ll get him back.”

Jonne slowly lifts his head up, finding himself looking into the soft, concerned grayish-blue eyes of Troy Bourke. Standing behind Troy, with a goofy, mortified expression on his face is Mitch Hults. And to Mitch’s sides are Tayler Thompson, a spiky brunette with puppy dog deep brown eyes and Otto Somppi.

Otto folds his arms. “I told you not to make any moves! You realize you coulda seriously hurt yourself, right?”

Jonne shoves Troy’s hand off of him and jumps to his feet, the pain vanishing into anger once more. “So what?! You might not...but I’d fight for this team! This IS my team, Otto! Maybe stop sheltering yourself and learn to fight for yourself and your new teammates, cause they won’t fight back for you!”

With that, the Finn storms past Otto, heading for the arena’s player exit. Otto gasps and rubs his arm.

Troy gets to his feet and spins to Tayler and Mitch, who shrug.

Otto spins to them. “Is it true?! In order to be apart of this team, you have to stand up for yourself and fight?”

“No. I have your back no matter what, Somps,” Mitch remarks, flashing him a sweet, goofy smile.

“That’s...reassuring, Hultsy. Come on, let’s cool down Pissy Pants.” Otto rolls his eyes and heads for the arena, after Jonne.

Troy sighs. “Come on, hopefully Saucer is off the phone. He’s gonna be royally pissed that Cherniwchan kidnapped Colby...”

“I’ll stand back this time, learned my lesson…” Tayler whispers, rubbing his arm.

“Monfredo’s a real peach when he gets mad,” Mitch states.

They then follow Otto back into the arena, heading down the hallway. It isn’t even five seconds before a loud, thundering, “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!” rings out, followed by the sound of a boisterous boom.

“Shit! He’s mad!!” Tayler remarks and dives behind Mitch.    

Troy darts forward and seizes Otto’s wrist, halting him before he can enter the locker room. “Holda there, Somps. You’ve seen Monfredo mad, but never MAD…” Mitch and Tayler catch up to them.

“He’s a real Hulk, Otto,” Tayler chimes, peering over Mitch’s shoulder.

Monfredo snatches up an empty glass of water and hurls it across the room with a thunderous grunt of fury. It smashes above the stall where Matt Spencer is sitting. The parts sprinkle down, just avoiding the Canadian.

“Hey, Mike, CAREFUL! I’m sitting here!” Matt snaps, throwing his head back and letting his blond hair flop on his head. “You damage this face and I know a certain fan that’ll come and kick your ass.”

Standing before the angry Orlando Captain is Jonne, who runs one of his hands through his hair and has his other on his hip.

“Cherniwchan did WHAT to COLBY?!” Monfredo roars, picking up his hockey stick.

“Put him in the trunk of a Mercedes…” Jonne repeats.

Monfredo twirls the stick in his hands and then smashes it across his thigh. “I’ll snap him like a TWIG!”

Troy walks in, carefully, holding his hands out before him. “Whoa, whoa, settle down. You’re hulking out again, Saucer.”

“OMG, Michael Monfredo, you made the little baby Bolt cry…” Matt growls, getting up and going over to where Alexey Lipanov is standing, holding his stick with tears in his wide, scared eyes. “It’s okay, Lippy. He’s not mad at you or trying to hurt, just fueled by a loathing toward Andrew Cherniwchan.”

“Lippy didn’t do anything bad…” Alexey whispers as Matt wraps his arms around the baby Russian.

Monfredo faces Troy, his shoulders and chest heaving from the fury. Jonne spins to the brave forward as Troy puts his hands on Monfredo’s and pushes them down slowly. “You’re right, Bourkie.”

Mitch sighs and rests his head on Otto’s shoulder. “He’s got such a way with handling emotions.”

Otto looks down at where Mitch’s head is. “Can you not?”

“Look, what are we doing about Colby McAuley?” Jonne urges.

“Beating Cherniwchan’s face in, until he can permanently see the insides of his own despicable head!” Monfredo grumbles, tensing up.

“No, no, calm,” Troy says, soothingly. “We’re gonna get a team together and then we’re going to go after them and save Colby. Hopefully without violence. Otto’s already hurt, we can’t afford anymore injuries and we certainly cannot lose Colby.”

“I’m game for the beating up Cherniwchan plan,” Jonne remarks, folding his arms and lifting his head up proudly.

“No violence, Tammy!” Matt scolds, still hugging Alexey and rubbing his arm.

“Lippy can just hug them all into submission?” Alexey mutters, finally cracking a sweet smile full of cheese.

Matt chuckles. “Lippy, I’m not sure that’ll work with Cherniwchan.”

Tayler steps back and a bouncing red dot catches his attention. He snaps his head and spots a laser pointer dot bouncing along a wall. He cocks his head to one side and then makes to walk off. He halts and spins back, the other Solar Bears all busy with forming plans and paying no attention to him. He shrugs and skips off after the dot.

Curious as a cat, he follows it down the hallway and around a corner. He finds himself stepping into the center of the entire Florida Everblades team. He freezes in place, flashes an innocent smile and then screams.

Troy and the others hear Tayler’s frightened scream.

“Colby’s gonna have to wait...WHO LET TT OUT OF THEIR SIGHTS…?” Troy booms out, calmly. (However that is possible lol)

Otto shrugs Mitch’s head off of his shoulder. “Get off of me, Hultsy!”

Mitch snaps back to reality, hearing the scream and spins around to see at the far end of the hallway, the group of Everblades.

The captain of the Everblades, John McCarron, stands before the group of men. “Don’t leave your guys unattended around here, Bear Cubs…”

Tayler is being held securely in the center of two of the players, one of them has a jacket with the number seventeen on it and the other has the number four on it. “Let go of me! MONFREDO!!!” He jerks at the holds on his arms.

Monfredo shoves Troy away from him and stomps out of the locker room. He unleashes a terrifying grunt of frustration and anger and then charges for the Everblades. “You’re gonna regret laying a finger on him!”

“Oh, I’m so scared,” the captain of the Everblades sneers, before he throws his arm behind him and takes a metallic hockey stick into his hands. “It’s called stalling, beloved Captain…”

Troy bursts out of the room with Jonne. “They’re working with Cherniwchan, Monfredo!”

“Good. Even more of a reason to unleash hell! I’ll be only three minutes, Bourkie!” Monfredo shouts back, decking McCarron with a single blow to the chest.

Troy heaves a sigh, puffing a curl of his dirty blond hair with a flustered stream of air. “We gotta find Colby ASAP! Just...he’s gonna be violent.”

Matt walks out, hugging Alexey close to him. “Uncle Monfredo is a bad influence on the babies, Bourkie.”  

Monfredo, meanwhile, decks three Everblades in a row, before more swarm him.

“Troyling, I think it’d turn Hultsy on a little if you used your brain to outsmart these… not-so-smart-Gator Worshippers.”

“Troyling…?” Otto grumbles, putting his hands on his hips.

“Yes, and I think you should stay here...can’t have you injuring those ribs anymore than they are…” Jonne continues on, picking Otto up and thrusting him up and over his shoulder.

“TAMMY, PUT ME DOWN!!” Otto howls out as Jonne cries him over to a closet.

“Give me a second. Don’t kick caring friends, Somppikins. That’s rude.” Jonne dumps Otto inside the closet and slams the door shut, locking it from the outside.

“WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I’M GONNA MURDER YOU, TAMMY!!!” Otto shouts out, banging on the door.

“Good luck with that. You can thank me later when you return to the ice sooner rather than later, buddy!” Jonne slaps his hands together as though brushing the dirt off of them. “That was rather easy.”

Monfredo slams two Everblades together, knocking them out cold, before turning his attention toward another couple. They share a look and then split, fleeing the scene with terror.

Monfredo then kicks the one with the number four in the shin. “You make this too easy for me, Florida!”

Tayler jerks his arms free as Monfredo turns his attention toward the large number seventeen. He splits, racing back to the others.

“TT! You okay, bro?” Matt questions.

“I’m fine! I saw a laser...I thought it might lead to Colby!” Tayler remarks with a huge proud smile.

“Not alone in the home of the Everblades. Now you’ve allowed Alexey the privilege of seeing Monfredo beat up an entire team! The Little Babies are the most vulnerable and impressionable,” Matt scolds.  

“Victory shall be ours!!” McCarron cries out, struggling to get up.

Monfredo kicks back, nailing him in the chin. At once, McCarron slams back to the ground and Monfredo locks into a battle with the remaining Everblade survivor.

“Here’s what I’m thinking,” Troy begins to say.

Mitch sighs and slaps his hands to his cheeks, dreamily staring at Troy. “He’s got a plan!”

Troy looks at him and blows Mitch a kiss with a wink, before he continues with, “We’ll leave Monfredo to handle that dickbag. He’ll be able to keep an eye on Otto as well. Meanwhile, the rest of us here can track down Colby.”

“So where are we starting off, genius?” Jonne snarkily remarks.

Matt smacks Jonne’s shoulder. “Cool it, Finn. Got a better idea?”

Jonne rubs his arm. “No. Fine…”

“Let’s start with these nice tire tracks!” Tayler’s voice echos from outside.

Troy, startled, spins and looks out the exit, toward where they’d first found Jonne on the ground. Tayler Thompson is standing, hovering over the ground and pointing down at something on the gravel.

“TT, did you learn nothing with the Everblade hostage incident?!” Troy scolds as Matt takes Alexey’s hand into his own like a little child.  

Tayler shrugs as they walk out and over to where he is standing. Sure enough, implanted on the ground are tire marks from when Cherniwchan had sped out. They lead off and skid around the corner of the arena.

“Okay, I propose that Jonne, you’re Tayler Thompson duty,” Matt exclaims.

Jonne’s mouth falls open with a gasp. “Spenny...why?! I don’t wanna babysit!”

“Because I said so and because you locked Otto in a closet just to make some stupid gay joke later on about it,” Matt explains, folding his arms across his broad chest and causing the compression shirt he has on to pull tight across his pecks.

Alexey points up with one hand at Matt’s chest. “You’re a lot bigger and more defined than Real Daddy!”

“Lippykins, it’s real easy for ANYONE to be bigger and more defined than Vladdy…” Jonne chirps, before earning a smack from Matt.

“TT, duty, Mr. Tammela. Get on it.”

Jonne rubs his arm again. “Fine.” He stomps over to Tayler, who is beaming. “Don’t run off again. I’m not babysitting you.”

“No guarantees,” Tayler says, smiling largely.

Troy studies the tire tracks, while Mitch studies Troy.

“Just out of curiosity, what’s the point of bringing Mitch along, if he’s just gonna oogle Troy the entire time? He’s about as helpful as--shit, TAYLER THOMPSON!!” Jonne begins to say, losing his focus on Tayler, who begins to wander off, spotting a stray kitty cat darting toward the arena. He snatches Tayler’s wrist to halt him.

“Awww... I wanted to pet the kitty cat!” Tayler whines.

“No, Tayler,” Jonne grunts, anchoring himself and holding the protesting forward back.

Troy reaches the edge of the arena and peers around the corner, looking down the street toward where the road would take people out of the arena’s private road and to the main road. He gasps as his eyes land on a stuffed white tiger lying in the middle.

Mitch comes up behind him, putting his hands on Troy’s shoulders. “Whoa, Bourkie, you’re tense.”

“Hultsy, not the time. See that?” Troy gestures with a hand toward the stuffed tiger.

Matt, still holding Alexey by the hand, smirks as he watches Jonne struggling to control Tayler. “This is rather entertaining to watch.”

“Glad. you’re. enjoying. yourself. Spenny.” Jonne grunts out.

Matt gives a hearty chuckle and then spots Troy and Mitch walking around the corner of the building with a clear interest on something. “Come on, let’s see what Troy and Mitch have found!”

Tayler perks up and races off, pulling Jonne along with him.

“I’m gonna dieeeeeee!” Jonne screams out in frustration.

Troy reaches the tiger and throws his hands over his mouth. Mitch grabs Troy’s arm with a high-pitched yelp. Attached to the tiger is a note.

Meanwhile, across the highway, at the Embassy Suites hotel, Cherniwchan peels into the parking lot and launches immediately into a parking spot on the side, out of view. He shifts the vehicle into park and kicks the door open.

“Who knows how long that electric shock will keep the bastard out cold for! Grab the duct tape!” Cherniwchan snarls at his partner.

“You know, we’re on different teams. So just because we share common dislikes here, doesn’t mean I do all the dirty work for you…” the other man snaps, getting out and snatching up a roll of black duct tape.

“You’re very right, Hunter, Icemen and Stingrays clash most times. But today,” Cherniwchan rounds the car and props the truck. “We unite for one mission. To destroy the Orlando Solar Bears. Starting with everyone’s favorite little prick.” He launches the lid up, revealing Colby lying peacefully inside still limp and unmoving. “Tape his wrists together and ankles and then bring him in, okay, Garet Hunt.”

The captain of the Jacksonville Icemen rolls his eyes and pulls back the end of the tape. “Very bold of a fourth line goon from the South Carolina Stingrays bossing around the captain of the Jacksonville Icemen.” He wraps the tape around Colby’s wrists and then tears the roll back, pasting the end to the rest of the tape.

Cherniwchan flips a taser in his hands, chuckling and watching Hunt tape-binding Colby. “I’m the brains of this afterall. I’m sure right now, Monfredo’s throwing chairs across the room, and you’re welcome, taking out Everblades.”

Hunt pauses, looking up at the Stingray, smirking. “You’re right. You’re a genius.”

“And don’t you forget that, Hunter…”

“Should I tape his mouth shut too?” Hunt growls out.

Cherniwchan shakes his head. “No, it’ll be rather refreshing to hear him mouth off for a little bit. The frustration from the mighty Colby McAuley would fuel me for sure.”

Hunt shrugs and finishes taping Colby’s ankles together with the adhesive. Then he scoops Colby from the trunk and carries him toward the hotel. Cherniwchan slams the trunk shut and spins around, looking back in the direction of the Hertz Arena. He snickers and then walks across the grass after his partner.

They head down the backside of the hotel, to a secret door that leads to a large shed-like building. Cherniwchan produces a key and unlocks the door. They vanish inside at once.

The Stingray goon pulls a chain just inside the door, igniting a light bulb overhead. Then he turns and closes the door and bolts it shut.

Just as soon as he does so, Colby stirs in Hunt’s arms.

The Iceman puts Colby on a couch. Colby blinks awake, clearly groggy. He then finds his wrists immobilized and grunts out, “What the fuck?” His eyes snap open and he spots Cherniwchan glower at him, mocking him with the sight of the taser.

“Have a nice sleep, McAuley?” the Stingray sneers.

Colby attempts to kick out and sit up, but finds his ankles bound together tightly.

“You might wanna keep a chill head, Baby Shark, I have a taser here and you’re in my den now. You piss me off, I can really hurt you,” Cherniwchan snarls. “As can he.”

Hunt paces around and joins Cherniwchan, sarcastically waving a greeting to Colby.

“What do you want?” Colby demands.

“We just wanna have some fun with ya...since you always like to have fun with us,” Hunt remarks, coming over to caress Colby’s face. “I mean, we did ding your pretty little nose up, didn’t we?”

Colby glares at him, mustering his energy. “Go ahead, keep manhandling me, Hunt!”

“What are you gonna do? You’re all tied up!” Hunt mocks, laughing in his face.

Colby screws his face up and with a powerful thrust, snaps the tape around his wrists and lunges forward tackling Hunt. “Not anymore, you Texas-sized fucktard! You and that jerk, Lalancette and really the rest of your pathetic dirty squad!!”  

Hunt cackles loudly. “You’re not gonna hurt me, McAuley. Not off the ice. Not on the ice, either. Maybe last year, but this year, you’re soft.”

Colby grabs Hunt’s shirt and slams him against the ground, but Cherniwchan jams the taser into Colby’s neck, shocking him to unconsciousness once more.

“Took you long enough,” Hunt snarls at Cherniwchan.

“Hey, it was amusing slightly. Just giving him a little control...come on, Hunter. Let’s hook him up to the gator pond now...before the others arrive to join him!”

Hunt smirks. “Right!”

They work together this time to drag Colby deeper into the shed, passing the couch. They enter a dome shaped room. There is a floor with various lines etched into a circle in the center. The lines race back to a metal pole and in the corner there is a control panel. They drag him across to the pole and now bind his wrists together behind his back and the pole with rope. They pull the knot tight just as the sound of a deep-throated frog echoes around the room.

“Let’s get the fun underway!” Cherniwchan exclaims, dashing over the control panel. “Ready the water bucket to wake Sleeping Beauty again!”

Hunt snatches up a bucket that is full of water.

Cherniwchan slams a fist down on a big red button and at once the grinding of gears splits through the air, followed by the floor parting by the lines inside the circle. A single circle remains in the center as a platform for Colby to stand on as around him, alligators swim and lurk like a pool of sharks in movie hostage scenes.

“Awaken Princess McAuley!” Cherniwchan announces, his voice booming around the dome.

Hunt steps up to the edge of the circle and tosses the water from the bucket at Colby.

Instantly, Colby jerks awake. “Oh, what the--?!”

“Good morning part two, Princess McAuley,” Cherniwchan sneers from the control panel. “And welcome to the main event!”

Colby presses against the pole, seeing the gators swimming around before him. “This isn’t funny anymore, Cherniwchan! This is outright cruel and uncalled for!”

“Scared of a few gators…?” Hunt remarks, setting the bucket down.

Colby jerks forward, but realizes that this time his escape would be a little more difficult. He grimaces as a gator leaps out and plops back into the water. “I MEAN IT! LET ME GO!”

Cherniwchan snickers. “No worries, we’ll take this nice and slow…”

Colby presses against the pole gripping it with his bound hands as he snaps his head around, eyeing the carnivorous reptiles.

“COLBY!?” Alexey Lipanov calls out. “Colby McAuley?!” He is holding on tightly to the stuffed white tiger that they’d found. The note went to Matt Spencer’s pocket.

“Colbykins!!” Jonne calls out. “Where’d you go?”

Matt shakes his head. “The tire tracks end at the main road, Bourkie...I don’t know where else they’d go and I mean, they seem to only mark up the turns...But past this, who knows.”

“We can’t give up on Colby!” Troy exclaims.

“I agree. He’s around here somewhere. No way a Stingray and Iceman venture too far away,” Jonne remarks, coming over to them.

“Tammy, where’s TT?” Troy asks, to Matt folding his arms and shaking his head at him.

Jonne smacks his forehead.

“Well, they show up down here, turning right onto Ben Hill Griffin Road!” Tayler’s voice rings out from a distance once again. “Hopefully, not getting onto the interstate.”  

“I’m gonna kill him…” Jonne mutters as he lets his hand slide down his face to his lips.

“You can try to, but I’ll just slip your attention again. Turn your back for one second on me, Jonny...” Tayler remarks.

Troy walks up to where Tayler is standing. “Good find, TT.” He looks down the road. “We need to head that way!”

“Isn’t that the direction of the Embassy hotel?” Jonne questions, seizing Tayler’s wrist. “You’re worser than a little kid.”

“At least my English is better…” Tayler remarks, tapping Jonne on the nose with a chuckle.  

Jonne swats his hand away and then pulls Tayler after him, heading for the highway and the hotel. “LET’S GO!”

“Ooooh! I’m gonna start singing!” Mitch comments.

“I’ll join you!” Tayler remarks. “What are we singing Hultsy?”

Mitch clears his throat and then leans against Troy as they carry on walking, launching out with: “Let’s get down to business…”

“HOW ABOUT HELL TO THE NO!” Jonne bellows out. “No. Disney.”

Mitch thinks and then tries: “I'll be there someday, I can go the distance...”

“THAT’S STILL DISNEY, MITCH HULTS!!”

“Ooooooh! I like this song though!!” Tayler chimes out and begins to skip along as he sings in unison with Mitch:  

“I will find my way if I can be strong

I know every mile would be worth my while

When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong…”

Jonne pinches his nose with his free hand. “I’m gonna be dead before we even get a sniff of Colby.”

Singing along to the upbeat, journey-type Disney tunes, the group quickly makes it under the highway and to the entrance to the hotel. Instantly they find more tire marks and then Jonne spots the back of the ominous vehicle.

“There! He’s here! Everyone can shut the hell up now and come on!” Jonne yanks Tayler with him, still gripping tightly to his wrist.

“Weeeeee!” Tayler sing-songs out.

Troy, Mitch, Matt and Alexey run after them. They all cluster together, hiding behind the side of the car.

“Hey, Spenny, you still got the note?” Troy inquires.

Matt nods and pulls out the note from the stuffed tiger, which is still in Alexey’s hands. He hands the note to Troy.

“Yup. Embassy Suites. We’re in the right place...let’s see here, where would they go? They can’t just drag Colby inside a busy hotel.”

“You’d be surprised. Villians be cray cray sometimes,” Jonne remarks. “A few years ago, when I met Vladdy Namestnikov…”

“Let’s not...we don’t have time, Tammela!” Matt says. “By the way, Tayler wandered off again!”

Jonne gasps and groans, throwing his head back. “I had him...dammit!”

“Hey, check out this cool shed!” Tayler’s voice suddenly splits through the air.

Troy slaps his forehead. “It’s a shed...TT…you’ve never seen one of those before?”

“Not like this…” Tayler proceeds to open the door up and peer inside.

Jonne dashes across the grass and shoves the door shut, grabbing Tayler. “What are you doing? This isn’t silly Everblades this time, but Andrew Cherniwchan!! He’s not gonna take you hostage, he’s gonna kill you.”

A shrill scream cuts the air as Matt, Alexey, Troy and Mitch join them.

“That’s Colby!” Mitch remarks. “I know that scream like the back of my own hand...or Troy’s ass.”

Troy frowns and shoots him a look. “Hultsy, don’t make me…anyway, we need to form a plan and sneak...”

“No time!” Tayler yanks his arm free from Jonne’s hold and throws the door open to the shed.

“TAYLER!” Jonne hisses and dives inside after him.

“Let me go, NOW! So we can finish this up, fair and square, Cherns! Or are you so much of a giant sore loser, that you’d rather cheat your way to a victory?! Take the easy win, huh?”

“Shut up, McAuley! We all know that lately you’ve lost your feisty edge and have begun to actually be a force to be reckoned with!” Cherniwchan snarls.

Jonne tackles Tayler onto the couch and pins him down.

“Too bad I’m not gay, cause you’d be hella turning me on right now,” Tayler hisses at him.

“You’re an idiot!” Jonne snaps at him.

“At least I’m not the one who gave us away!” Tayler remarks.

Jonne opens his mouth up for a retort, but then there is a click and the cold barrel of a gun is jammed against his head.

“WHO’S THERE?!” a familiar voice booms out.

“It’s just Tammela and Thompson!” another voice replies.

Tayler looks back into Jonne’s eyes and urges him to relax slightly. But the man pulls Jonne back, holding the gun to his head.

“Thompson, I know your games. You’re gonna sit pretty, or else I’m blowing Finnish boy’s brains out sky high.”

Tayler sticks his tongue out and folds his arms across his chest. “Hate you too, Hunt.”

“Dammit, TT!!” Colby snaps. “You and your damn curiosity!”

Tayler sits up on the couch, pouting his lip and narrowing his eyes as Cherniwchan pads back into the lobby area of the shed, where the couch is. He rounds it and sits down next to Tayler.

“You’re Tammela’s backup help? Pathetic.”

Jonne tenses up as Hunt presses the gun barrel deeper into the flesh of the Finn’s temple.

The Stingray then reaches behind him and picks up a roll of black duct tape. “Can’t have you two getting in the way anymore...we’re gonna tie you both up, let you watch as we drown Colby in the gator pit and then blow your brains out. Just cause you were stupid enough to come after us.”

Tayler looks at Jonne as Cherniwchan binds his wrists and ankles together with the tape. Not even putting up a fight to stop it. Then the Stingray rips off a piece and sticks it over Tayler’s mouth. Then with a satisfied grunt, tosses the tape roll to Hunt, who in turn, hands the gun to his evil partner.

Jonne manages a smug look on his face as his arms are forced behind his back. “You know tape is easy to break free from…? Isn’t that villain 101. I mean unless you’re a lowlife Hollywood writer, who just wants some badassery scene...”

“Yeah, until you have to snap it from behind your back, Finn,” Cherniwchan sneers. “And in a certain amount of time. Look around you, nothing will help you push the pace. And last I checked, you’re not as strong as McAuley.”

“Thanks, dickwad,” Colby grumbles, kicking a gator back into the water.

“That was a compliment, Shark Bait. I was dissing Tammela.”

“Aggravating scumbag rat!” Jonne barks, flashing his teeth in fury at the villains.

Hunt tapes up Jonne’s ankles now and then sits him in a rolling-style desk chair. Then he tapes Jonne’s mouth shut with two pieces of the adhesive. Cherniwchan stuffs the gun into his pants and then hauls Tayler into a second rolling chair.

They then move the two players to sit them back to back, behind the couch, just inside the dome. Hunt then takes the remaining tape on the roll and pastes them both upright. Tayler snaps his head around, trying to figure out a method to escape, while Jonne kicks out attempting to snap the tape around his ankles.

Hunt tosses the empty roll into the pool and the gators at once lunge to attack, spraying Colby with water.

Cherniwchan stalks back to the control panel. “Now, where were we…oh, right, right, lowering the pole into the gator pool! Good-bye McAuley!!” He lifts his arm up and prepares to smack another big button that is silver in color.

That’s when, Troy Bourke and Matt Spencer skid in.

“Oh, I don’t think so!” Matt remarks.

Troy whips his phone out. “Don’t-don’t make me dial Monfredo!”

“Too late, Benchwarmer and Whiny Baby Bourke!” Cherniwchan snarls and bangs his fist down on the button.

At once the pole shoots down into the water with Colby.

Matt throws his head back and dashes forward, diving into the gator water. He dodges the hungry reptiles, rapidly heading for his teammate. Colby kicks out in desperation as gators come at him. He nails a few in the snout, but soon his kicks get slower and slower.

A gator manages to naw off the ropes and Colby floats away from the pole, right into Matt’s arms. With a successful grunt, he punches a gator coming for him, grabs another dazed one and fends the others off. Then he launches for the surface, eventually breaking to gasp for air.

Now, pissed off, the remaining four unharmed gators close in.

“You’re an idiotic peabrain, Spencer!” Cherniwchan chuckles.

“Colby, stay with me, buddy. We’re almost there!” Matt urges. “Also, I know you’re gonna bite back at me later for having to rescue you, but, you’re welcome!”

Troy presses the number for Monfredo, cocking a smirk. “You did it, Cherns!”

Hunt sneaks up behind Troy, snickering under his breath.

“BOURKIE, NO!!!” Mitch screams out from behind the couch, where he is hiding out with Alexey.

Hunt shoves Troy at the pool.

Troy drops his phone, which skids right into the pool and into a gator’s mouth. He halts himself, kicks back and nails the gator in the jaw, breaking some of the animal’s teeth. “I swear I’m an animal lover!! Sorry, Gator.” He then scrambles back up to his feet and faces Hunt, who has turned his attention on Mitch and Alexey.

Mitch hugs Alexey close to him.

“Get back from him!” Troy thunders out.

“It’s okay, Bourkie, I can handle this…” Mitch states, scanning the room. Then he faces Hunt and spits out, “Your mom!”

Troy covers his eyes and shakes his head. “Good one, Hultsy.”

Jonne cranes his neck to try and see Tayler, when all of the sudden, the brunette pops up from behind the control panel and flexes his hands. Jonne screams into the tape and kicks out as Cherniwchan comes forward to mock and stop Matt.

“Ooooh, what does this button do, Mr. Cherniwchan?!” Tayler remarks, wiggling his fingers over a blue button.

Cherniwchan spins around to him. “NO! Don’t press that!”

Tayler laughs and presses the button. At once, the pole shoots back up, out of the water and nails the Stingray right in the mid section, sending him slamming against the wall and knocking the wind from him.

“Tayler Thompson: 1, Andrew Cherniwchan: 0.”

“Good work, TT...wait a sec...what the hell…?” Matt looks to where Jonne is angrily thrusting against the tape bonds.

Tayler rounds the panel, smirking. “I’m Tayler Thompson, Spenny, need you question.”

Troy knocks Hunt out, before he can reach Mitch and Alexey. “You leave them alone!” Then he spins to see Tayler wrapping a coil of rope around an unconscious Cherniwchan’s arms. “How in the world…?”

Tayler glances up, pulling the knot tight and winks. “I’m Tayler Thompson, the one and only true TT.”

Troy shakes his head. “Whatever. Hultsy, find me a coil of rope--”

Just then, there is a loud grunt outside, followed by, “MONFREDO SMASH!!!”

Alexey screams in fright and buries his face into Mitch’s chest. “Big scary captain is scary!!”

Monfredo stomps into the shed, literally smoke billowing out of his nostrils in anger.

“Little late, Saucer,” Troy chuckles as Mitch hands him rope and he sets to work tying Hunt up. He finds the gun and fires a few bullets at the gators, who give up and disperse, allowing Matt to reach the edge with the limp Colby.

“I can still bash their skulls in!” Monfredo grumbles.

Tayler skids over and aids Matt with getting Colby out of the water. “I know RCP!!”

“RCP?” Matt questions, shaking his head, his damp moppy hair flopping everywhere on his head.

“CPR…” Tayler repeats.

Colby gasps and jerks awake, sitting up to face the pool. “DON’T DO CPR ON ME!!”

“He’s alive!!” Tayler exclaims, throwing his hands up into the air.

Colby coughs, spitting out water. “Of course I’m alive! I must have kicked all the gators’ asses in the pool like a damn badass!”

Matt leans over and smiles at him. “Not quite. I saved you.”

Colby groans and hangs his head. Then he snaps it back up and throws his arm out in a sassy way with his index finger raised tall and proud. “Colby McAuley does NOT get rescued!”

Tayler grabs Colby and presses his lips to Colby’s slimy, wet cheek.

Colby clenches a fist and lets it fly around, right into Tayler’s chin, knocking him backward. “DON’T KISS ME! I’m not the Troy Bourke to your Mitch Hults!”

Matt rolls his eyes and then spots Jonne. “Okay, okay, it’s been long enough. Someone untie the chirping Finn!”

Tayler bounces back up, shaking off the blow from Colby and races over to him. “I GOT HIM!”

“Saucer, we rescued Colby, we don’t need to be dicks and stoop down to their level, murdering them,” Troy says, dusting himself off and earning a sigh from Mitch in the process. He then bravely throws his arm out to block Monfredo’s pathway to the Stingray and Iceman. “Got it?”

Monfredo grumbles to himself and backs down.

Colby spins around, still sitting on the edge of the pool. He rubs his arm and cracks a slight smile. They’d all risked their lives to save him. He then mutters, “Thanks, guys…” He watches Tayler untie Jonne.

“What the hell? How’d you get free?!” Jonne blurts out, ripping the tape from his mouth and tossing it to the side.

Tayler grins at him. “It’s a Tayler Thompson secret. Shhhhhh...” He places an index finger to Jonne’s lips.

Troy faces them all. “Okay, we need to get back to Hertz, because Jonne Tammela locked Otto in a closet and Monfredo kinda left him...so...can’t have ANYMORE Colby incidents.”   

“Bourkie, I’m gonna crosscheck you so hard into the boards during warmups!” Colby snaps, getting to his feet. He slips and almost falls back into the pool though.

“Colby, give it a rest already, you got saved. It’s okay. It won’t end your masculinity,” Mitch states. “In fact it was kinda hot seeing Troy saving you.”

“NOT. HELPING.” Colby scramble-crawls away and over to Tayler and Jonne. “I’m fucking freezing here. Can we go?! Also, can I get a good punch to Cherniwchan and Hunt’s stupid, ugly, jealous faces?!”

“You’re all soaked and your shirt is clinging to you, I can make out your abs and perky nipples,” Mitch remarks. “Of course you’re cold.”

Troy sighs. “Yes and maybe. I’ll consider a punch.”

“Oh, sure, he’s allowed to punch but not me?” Monfredo grumbles, tossing his eyes.  

Colby sticks his tongue out at Monfredo in a teasing fashion. Monfredo ignores him and snatches up Hunt’s bound limp body, while Tayler and Jonne take Cherniwchan’s dazed one.

“I’ll end you Colby McAuley...and your little Solar Cubbies too!!” the Stingray chokes out as he is forced out of the shed after the others.

“Yeah, yeah, can it Stingray rat,” Matt growls as he latches onto Alexey’s hand once more. “In fact, you touch anyone of Orlando’s players, I’m giving Monfredo the signal to do damage to your face. Also, don’t call me benchwarmer, I’m not sitting on the bench for Orlando, thank you very much.”

They return to the arena and Tayler races inside, fetching a purple blanket for Colby to wrap around himself. Jonne walks up to the closet, where he’d locked Otto inside of. He clears his throat and prepares to speak, when…

“JONNE TAMMELA, LET ME OUT OF HERE AT ONCE!!!” Otto thunders from inside.

Jonne leans against the door, smiling smugly to himself. “What’s the password, friend?!”   

“Fuck. You.”

“No, that’s not it…” Jonne chuckles.

“Just let him out, Jonne!!” Troy scolds. “Or else, I’m putting you back on Tayler Thompson duty!”

Jonne rolls his eyes and unlocks the door. At once, it swings open and Otto stumbles out, gasping for air.

“So...who’s the lucky guy?” Jonne questions, putting his hands on his hips.

“I...hate...you...so...YOU LOCKED ME IN THERE WITH TREVOR OLSON, YOU ASSHAT!!” Otto thunders, clenching a fist and whirling around, prepared to strike Jonne. “He...kept...ripping ones off. I almost died!!” He deflates and throws his arms around Jonne, hugging him and sobbing into his shoulder.

Jonne pats him on the back as Trevor Olson walks out with a smug grin on his face.

“Lesson learned. No more burritos before broadcasting games. Sorry, Somps man, I thought I’d found a good closet to release in…” Trevor chuckles and then walks off. “Next time, trap McAuley in here. Good punishment.”

Otto clings to Jonne. “Trevor Olson’s farts are death.”

“Sorry. I had no idea...I love you, Somps.” Jonne pets Otto’s head, concerningly.

Tayler grabs Colby’s hand and gently pulls him toward the stairs for Section 120. “I got something to show you…”

Colby eyes him as they begin to climb up the stairs to the platform behind the visitor’s bench. “You’re not coming out to me are you? Why does everyone think I’m gay?!”

Tayler chuckles. “No...I’m not asking you out. But I thought you might want a key to the holding cell of Cherniwchan…” He smiles sweetly.

Colby gasps and takes it at once. “Absolutely! How’d you get this…?”

Tayler’s smile twists and then he turns and hops back down the stairs.

“TAYLER THOMPSON, ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!” Colby screams out and dashes down, after him, trying to hug the blanket around him.

[shiwhosees]

“Call Me By Your Name”, WowoOW

Okay, so I'm fucking late and am I no way a movie critic nor am I claiming to be. This review is honestly for me to vent and verbalize everything that is running through my head when I finish movies that I fall in love with. So, let me type all the nonsensical shit that I spill onto this review that probably made sense when I was thinking about it last night.  

Characters:  

Okay, let me start here. If you have read or are reading the book you probably know that there is the cute little girl named Vimini who wasn’t in the movie. I mean I ain’t that like sad about it because... fuck. She was so cute and adorable and would legit have these cute little excursions with Oliver and like I knew what was going to happen to her because I mean I built this alert thing in my head after what happened to Augustus Waters and fuuucCKKK. I don’t think I could watch it happen outside of my imagination.

Next, Oliver. He was one of those characters where you were like “What the shit?”. Like he tested me. HE TESTED ME. Like sometimes I could tolerate it but no character has stirred up so much confusion in me and the ending had me like “Dipshit you didn’t think to tell him you have been having an on and off relationship with your fiance?” The worst part is he did it over the phone. He was like the Joe Jonas to Elio’s Tayler Swift. Breaking up with you over text. Although, Oliver was like a walk on the beach. I was rooting for him. Even when his face was sucking Chiara’s. Still rooting for him though. Also, everyone's talking about how he played the two twins in The Social Network but what about his role as the prince in Mirro Mirror. The fucking Prince. I love his versatility. Damn

Elio, Elio, Elio. Let me tell you about Elio. I thought he was gonna be the shy timid type. The awkward musical genius who hides behind his intelligence in order to keep himself guarded but he ended up being the fearless dick grabber of the century. Like he went for it. HE WENT FOR IT. His hand was like a claw in those claw machines and Oliver’s balls were like the little stuff animal prizes that came with it. Reading the book I realized how much he overthought things. Honestly, I wouldn’t blame him. He was on the edge of a cliff and he was being as cautious as he could. He also had this zeal to him. More than Oliver he was overwhelmingly confident which kinda challenged the flamboyance of Oliver's character. But shit yall talk about them both but what about Marzia?

MARZIA LEGIT HAD HER HEART TORN IN FRONT OF HER EXPOSED HERSELF TO HER BEST FRIEND AND STRIPPED HERSELF NAKED FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY TO BE MET WITH A FUCKING HANDSHAKE IN THE END. FUUUCK. SHE DIDN’T COMPLAIN ONCE. LIKE SHE WAS SUCH AN ANGEL AND SO SUPPORTIVE. PUT HER IN A LEAD.

FUCK IT, MR. AND MRS. PERLMAN DESERVE THE ALL CAPS TEXT ALSO. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT FUCKING SPEECH IN THE END FROM MR. PERLMAN. I CRIED SO HARD TEARS WERE DRIPPING OUT OF MY ASS. HE WAS LIKE THE COOLEST PERSON EVER. LIKE FUCK I WANNA SPEND MY DAYS IN ITALY EXAMINING AND BUILDING KNOWLEDGE OFF OF ARCHITECTURE. AND MRS. PERLMAN WAS LIKE ROOTING WITH US SINCE THE BEGINNING. SHE WAS FOR US. LIKE WE WANTED IT, SHE WANTED IT, THEY WANTED IT. THEY ARE LIKE THE ESEME AND CARLISLE OF THE WHOLE DAMN MOVIE. WHY? THEY WERE ROOTING FOR EDWARD AND BELLA EVEN THOUGH OTHERS WERE AGAINST IT. Am I in no way saying that cmbyn was a vampire romance. BUT SHIT THEY BETTER BE MAKING THE CALL ME BY YOUR NAME NEW MOON, A SEQUEL, OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. I WOULD BUY THE HELL OUT OF THE THEATERS.

Plot:    

When I heard it was a summer love story I knew. But something about it was so obvious and sweet it left me aching all the same. The plot could have been predicted but the actions of the characters made you have this shred of hope. The book is probably where most of my opinion forms from because the movie was an adaption but the movie did all the same. It's different seeing something in your mind vs with a visual. The movie was beautiful and relied a lot on visuals to aid the progression of the story but all the aesthetics were put beautifully together. It gave the characters a sort of isolation making the story simple just as how it needed to be; to explain that this is a love story just like the ones the audience are always used to. It’s about two people loving and how love is love.

Conclusion:

Watch it. Like I know there is so much hype but honestly, it’s worth it. You won’t be bored. The soundtrack and all the visual elements will hold your eyes hostage. It’s a polyphony of sight and sound that immerses you deeper and deeper each time. Anyways yeah. Also, I noticed I only used a semicolon once because my whole mentality for this was fuck it; meaning, no way was I gonna use proper grammar. But anyways enjoy this review and my not one but two semicolons.            

[sylvesterbarzey]

The revolution has always been in the hands of the young. The young always inherit the revolution."

~Huey P. Newton

My Pops was in the Army. I guess that's something to be proud of, but Ma didn't like it much. He went on the weekends but there was always that chance he might get called up. He would always say "It's a volunteer type thing, don't stress it." That kept us going for a few years, then Tayler was born. I remember it like it was yesterday, My father sat me and my brother Anthony down. I never really paid much attention to things as a kid, but I do remember Ma was crying a lot that day. Pops smiled at us and rubbed my head before he let the words out, "Dad's gotta take a trip, for a few months." Anthony leaned forward, he wanted to know what was going on, he felt something was going on. I knew and I cried. I remember four moments when my life changed:

The first was my father telling us he was deploying.

The second was my mother telling us Pops was killed in action.

The third moment, happened 12 years later...

I acted out a lot, couldn't get the grades that Ma wanted, so I dropped out of school. She didn't like it, but it kept her from working three jobs. Whenever I came home with that check from the gym, she would take it and softly say, "I wish you didn't have to do this, Drew." I didn't mind it. The Army paid us some money but because my Pops wasn't up to date on his paperwork, half of it went to my grandma. I've never seen the woman and she didn't come to Pops' funeral.

The money helped a little, but three boys is a lot to pay for, it didn't last. Like I said, I don't mind it. I'm always working out at the Gym anyway, so my trainer got me a job. I clean the ring and the lockers, which doesn't pay much but I don't have to pay for lessons. I was leaving the gym when I heard it, "You're that fighter, right?" Her voice was sweet, with a body that was even sweeter, but if I had the power to tell the future, I'd know she wasn't worth it. I don't even remember her name, to be honest.

First we were talking, and then there was a little less talking. We were in an alley behind the gym, and I had one hand up her skirt when I saw him from the corner of my eye, smiling from ear to ear. I closed my eyes and groaned, "What do you want, Tay?"

The little man laughed at me and said, "A turn if we're being honest."

"Excuse me!" My good time shouted.

I did a little smooth talking or most likely a little ass kissing to save the night and then I dragged the little man out the alley by his hoodie, "What the hell do you want Tay!"

He jumped a little, "I was seeing if you wanted to walk home together," he said.

My hand went over my face and I shook my head, "Does it look like I want to go home right now?"

Tay got on his tippy toes to look over my shoulder at the girl. Her back was pressed against the wall. Her bra was unlatched and her patience was getting thin.

"Whatever, I'm gonna tell Ma when I get home." Tay said.

I nodded, "I bet you will. Get your snitching ass home before the streetlights come on." He was down the street before the last of my words left my mouth.

"That your brother?" She asked and I nodded, "He got a mouth on him." She said softly.

I laughed as I leaned in and kissed her "Yeah, well so do I." I said.

We did our thing and I was back home around eleven. As soon as I pushed the door open, Ma was there waiting, "Where the hell you been?" She was half dressed for her shift at the hospital, I wasn't sure if that meant she was coming or going.

"Out, Mama. Damn, I can't go to work and come home every day. Can I live?" I asked. Anthony was lying on the couch, so I pushed his feet to the side almost tossing him out the seat, "Move man!" I shouted.

Anthony sat up, "Damn, why didn't you stay your big headed ass at the gym?"

I was about to toss him to the floor and choke out an apology, but then Ma closed the door slowly and asked me a question that still sends chills through me, "Drew, Where's Tay?"

I turned to look at her and then looked around, "He's not here?" I asked.

Her hands rested on her hips, "I thought he was coming home with you. He said he was gonna stop by the gym after wrestling practice," She said.

"He came by the gym, but I told him to head home," I said and my Mama came across the room so fast, I thought I was in a horror movie. That kind of speed only comes from being possessed.

Her hand slapped into the back of my head, "You let him walk alone!" she screamed.

I put my hands up trying to protect myself, "It's only a few blocks, Ma!"

We were going back and forth. Ma was panicking and screaming. I was trying to defend any sensitive area from her onslaught. She picked up the phone to call the cops when Anthony turned up the tv, Ma screamed at him to turn it down but he was in a trance. Eyes wide. Lips tightened and his finger pointing at the tv. The tears started to come before we knew fully what was happening.

There was a shooting.

The cops said he had a gun.

That was a lie...

He was gonna be 13 in a few months. He was excited about that, told me he was gonna be a man. I stared at Thad blood stained white sheet that covered his little body. They left him in the street for the world to see. Anthony knew it was him from his sneakers, they were spray painted purple, for the school colors.

I remember we kept shouting,"no!"

"That's not him-" Then there was a loud set of knocks at our door and we knew there was no more denying it. For weeks, the News said some cold stuff about the little man. He was running with a gang... the kid had wrestling gear, books and Pokémon cards in his bag. Last I checked gangbangers weren't playing with Pokeballs. Cops said he fit the description of a suspect... young and black. It was the words of two white cops against a dead little black boy. The worst thing was that photo.

The bloody white sheet over his little body, in the middle of the street. It became the logo for the case. No one would talk about the shooting without showing it. It got to a point where I couldn't even think of Tay without that popping in my head first.

I went crazy after that, I'm sure we all did. I lost my job at the Gym because I kept getting into it with the fighters. I started drinking and smoking from sunset to sunrise, and sometimes beyond that. I was going off the deep end, and it wasn't what my Ma needed, but it was what I needed. I was angry and I wanted someone to hurt, like I was hurting.

Our lawyer was pricey but he said he would do it for free. He told us we could win and then slowly his tune started changing. He said the cops would get off but we still had a good case against the city.

We didn't care about money. Money didn't buy justice. Money couldn't bring Tay back. It was nothing more than dirty green paper everyone wanted to toss at us, so we could wipe our tears and move on. We wanted justice, but I was sure the courts weren't gonna give it to us, so I went out to find my own.

I was walking up and down the street every night. I said I was looking for the right one, but I was just talking myself out of it most nights. Then after a few shots of Henny, there I was, standing behind him. He had just come out of his apartment building. He was walking toward his car with his phone glued to his ear. "Yeah, I'll be there in a few. Don't start the party without me," he said. He was happy, and I could smell the vodka coming off of him as he started to fumble with his keys.

I pulled out the gun and placed it to the back of his head, "Get on the fucking ground." I said.

His hands shot up, "What the fuck man... take it easy... you want money? Is that it? You need some cash?" he cried.

Another one trying to send me away with a few dead presidents. I pushed the gun forward till the barrel thumped him in the back of the head, "I said, get the fuck on the ground, white boy! I'm not gonna say it again!" I shouted and he quickly dropped down to the sidewalk, his face pressed to the ground. His warm tears mixed in with the cool concrete.

He wasn't a cop.

He didn't know Tay..

He didn't have anything to do with anything.

But he was white and at that moment, that was all that mattered to me.

I started stomping down on him. First his lower back. I felt my heel cave in his back. All the while he screamed, "Help me!" His ribs cracked as I slammed my steel toes into his side. He was fighting to get back to his feet or get away, but I bashed the handle of the gun into the top of his head and he dropped back to the ground. I picked my boot up again to bring it down into his skull when I felt someone grab me, pulling me back.

"Get the fuck off me!" I spun around with the gun pointed. Anthony was staring at me, "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked.

He rushed me, pushing me back into the car, "What are you doing?" he asked, then he looked down at the bloody mess that was groaning on the sidewalk. I didn't see him as a person, just a punching bag for me to release my rage onto. Anthony saw him as a person and a life sentence for his older brother. I looked down at the guy and then back at my brother who grabbed me by the collar and softly let out, "Let's get the fuck out of here, Drew." He didn't wait for me, he just took off and for a second I thought about ignoring his request and finishing up but then I looked back at the man and all I could see was that bloody white sheet and those purple shoes and like a scared little boy, I ran from it.

We were blocks away when I finally let the words out, "You following me now?" I asked.

I don't know what that did to him, but he grabbed me and tossed me into a nearby alley. I could see in his eyes he wanted to take a shot at me. He wanted to fight, but I wasn't nearly drunk enough for him to take me. I fought for a living. After Pop died, all I did was fight. It was my lifestyle. Anthony wasn't a fighter and he wasn't stupid, "What the hell were you thinking? What the fuck was that!" he shouted at me.

I attempted to walk away, but he pushed me back into the wall, "You're not gonna keep pushing up on me like that, Anthony." I said.

He shook his head, "You think this is gonna bring Tay back?" He asked.

Before I knew it I had Anthony pressed up against the wall, "Don't you fucking talk about him." I said.

Anthony stared at me, "I miss him too... I miss him so fucking bad."  He said. I watched as a tear fell from his eye and they were calling out to my own.

"I did this to him," I said it out loud, for the first time ever I said it out loud. I blamed myself, I could have helped him or they could have shot me instead. Every morning I wake up, I lie in bed wishing they did shoot me.

"It's not your fault," Anthony said as I let his feet finally hit the ground. "You didn't do this, they did." He said.

I nodded, "Yeah, and they're getting away with it."

Anthony shook his head, "No, they won't. In a few months we'll go to court and-"

I took a step back and cleared the tears from my eyes before I started laughing, "And what, Anthony! We get justice?" I shook my head laughing, "There's no justice for people like us! They don't care about us!" I shouted and kicked over a nearby trash can, the metal banging into the ground, filled up the alleyway. "You look in the mirror lately? You seen your skin color?" I shook my head as I said, "People like us, we don't get justice."

"You don't know what you're talking about," He said.

I ran up to him, till we were face to face. The smell of alcohol had to have overtaken him because it was all I could smell as I softly said, "We are gonna walk into that courtroom, with their white judge, and their white jury and watch those cops get off. That's the only thing that's gonna happen in that courtroom."

Anthony turned his head to the side and then he nodded, "So, fuck court then? Huh?" He nodded and laughed, "Let's just get fucked up and beat on some random white boys," he said.

"I'm teaching them a lesson," I said and he stopped laughing.

Anthony's hands went over his face and he took a long sigh. My little brother was trying to hold the family together these days. He was working part-time and going to school. Meeting and calling the lawyer. He was making sure Mama ate and took her pills. She wasn't in a good place these days, and he was looking out for her, and for me, "No, what you're doing is giving Mama another son to cry over. What you think is gonna happen to you if you keep this up? Your ass is gonna get locked the fuck up, or killed. Then they're gonna have your photo all over the news like Tay." I went to rush him again but he took a quick jab at me, right into my jaw. It sent me to the ground fast. I didn't see it coming, that's how Anthony was, always getting you when you weren't looking. I looked up at him and spit blood onto the ground. He put his hand out, "This shit, isn't helping anyone. Let's go home." I stared at his fingers for a moment and then I took his hand and he pulled me up.

"It's never gonna change, is it, Anthony? They're never gonna care about us." I said softly and my brother guided me through the darkness of that alleyway.

It had been a year since Tay's shooting and I was finally pulling myself together. I wasn't looking for fights in the streets anymore, I was doing my fighting in the ring now. Anthony had me beg my boss at the gym for a tryout, and he liked what he saw. Said if I worked hard maybe he would take me to the U. S tryouts. All I saw was gold in my future, Mama was doing better too. The doctor said she just had a minor break, and with the meds and counseling she was going to be okay.

Anthony was on her every day, "You take your meds Mama?" it was like his thing, he didn't say hello, it was always, "You take your meds Mama?" But I couldn't be mad at him, all this shit was happening and he still held down the family and kept his grades up. Anthony had schools chasing after him, his teachers said he was some kind of chemistry genius or something.

The boy was smart.

I knew that.

"It won't start," Ma said as her fingers tightened around the wheel of the car.

"Is the battery dead?" I asked.

She shrugged, "The hell if I know," She said and then turned her head to me, "Go check."

I looked over at Anthony in the front seat next to her, "Ma, why I gotta do it?" I asked.

She turned around slowly, "Cause I told your ass to, " She said.

I pushed open the door and made my way toward the front of the car, "Pop the hood." I shouted.

I heard back, "Don't you yell at me, boy!" I rolled my eyes and heard the metal click, I lifted the hood and laughed, "Is the battery leaking?" My Ma asked.

I shook my head walking over to the driver side. I leaned on the door and sighed, "Someone stole the battery," I thought it was funny, but the tears slowly started to build up in her eyes. She pushed the door open and I slowly stepped aside "You alright Ma?" I asked.

"I can't do this today. Not today" She said.

The officers that shot Tay were finally being tried in court today, the car was busted and the lawyer said we didn't have to be there if we didn't want to. So, we stayed home. We didn't want to see them cheering and smiling as they got off for killing my little brother. I knew it was gonna happen, it always happens. Anthony was sitting on the couch with the news on, they were covering the trial, all the reporters were camped out on the steps of the courthouse waiting to hear the verdict. "Turn that off, Mama doesn't want to deal with that right now." I said.

Anthony kept his eyes on the tv, Mama came into the room, "You heard your brother, turn that mess off. I'm sick and tired of them pulling my baby's name through the mud and-" Mama's tears were cut off by a loud blast from the tv.

The picture shook and the blonde haired reporter ran out of the shot. There was a lot of screaming and then it cut to the people in the station "What was that?" I asked.

The news anchor on the tv put his finger to his ear and nodded, "There has been some kind of explosion at the courthouse..."

I sat down next to Anthony who was leaning forward staring at the tv. Mama put her hand over her chest, "Oh my god." She said.

"You think it was over Tay's case?" I asked.

Ma put her hand over her mouth, "You think?" She replied and then the phone started to ring. We all stared at one another as the robotic melody crawled through the halls and creeped into the living room. Ma shot up and ran to the back of the apartment. I sat there dumbfounded with the glow of the tv taking me over. Then I looked over at Anthony, he sat there for a while staring into the puzzled faces of the reporters and then he softly said, "You were wrong."

"Wrong about what?" I asked.

We were in a moment that didn't require words. A moment where pure silence would be accepted and understood but here he was talking and smirking, "You said people like us don't get justice," his head turned slightly and the faint glow of the TV made his skin shine, "But we do...we just have to take it."

I remember four moments when my life changed.

You already know the first three...

The fourth was when I realized I was nothing more than a punk kid in an alley trading words with a Revolutionary.

[micahs-journal]

05/23/2020 12:57am

I wish I had the courage to die or move away where these memories and feelings couldn’t reach me.

I want to be fine for you but I just don’t know if I’m good enough. I’m not for anything else. Why would this be any different.

1:06am

I’m so numb I can’t even cry. I’m not mad either. I just feel empty and alone. I have no one and no distractions and I don’t want anyone else. I’m that easily tossed away. Maybe that’s unfair; but your words may say it and maybe you did feel it, but your actions point that it was easier than dealing with me. That’s ultimately on me anyways. I pushed you away twice and I wish I had come to my sense earlier or was more honest during that week. I definitely don’t remember it being two weeks. That hardly matters now.

Maybe you want this to be the case so you don’t have to deal with me. Maybe you’re scared you’ll find no one else besides me. I don’t see why you’d try to hard both times to get over me if that wasn’t the case. I don’t know a lot of things about you. I just know this hurts.

6:19am

I don’t know if you’ve ready any of what I said because you don’t let me know those things all the time. I don’t know if you slept with him again. I feel like maybe and that’s why you haven’t replied or maybe you’d rather not deal with this today and ruin your day or maybe you’re tired and went back to sleep or maybe if you “sleep on it” you’ll find it easier to choose him or maybe you actually are thinking abut it. I just wish you’d tell me. I don’t need an answer to dating right away or anything. I just need to know what’s going on in your head. Hope your day is good, you slept well, and you drive safely.

6:29am

Btw, the single thing you can do to drive me away is keep me in the dark because that’s harder than not knowing for two reasons. I think of the worst possible scenario and it means you can’t or won’t tell me things. I won’t have either of those. Also fuck that advice of “the best way to get over someone is finger under someone else.” That’s so incredibly painful and not to mention unfair. You can have anyone you want in minutes without even trying. Even if I wanted to I can’t do that. If I wanted to get over you I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to do it in 6 months Jess. Did that mean nothing to you? Does anything I do really matter to you? Because I did what you told me you needed and you went and not only fucked someone else but got attached. You tell me you didn’t do anything with him till we were completely done but you went online and found someone else and started talking. That’s cheating in my mind because maybe we didn’t have labels but the thoughts and intentions of dating were there. And I’m sorry but waiting a week or two or a few days before fucking him after we were completely done doesn’t make me feel better. Especially since you were still leading me on. Maybe I did all this to you the first time around. Maybe I should pull a nice from your book and make you choose. Lord knows I don’t want to do that to you because believe it or not I want to be in your life so fucking badly. But I don’t know that I can like this and I’m the way you have been keeping me in your life. It’s hard and it’s cruel. I don’t have friends who can’t be around me I’m public or with their friends or do anything fun with or who lead me on while they find someone else. Now I feel like the backup plan and it’s because I really am. You’re more loyal to feelings for some guy you barely know but won’t act on feelings you already have for me.

If you even really have feelings for me. Maybe you’re just saying stuff to keep me around in hopes I won’t leave you. For someone who can’t give me a satisfactory reason why you want me around or how that benefits you you’re trying hard to keep me around. Maybe it’s because you want things to workout and you don’t want pressure. But finding someone else won’t give you less pressure jess. If anything it gives you more. I can give you time. But I want that time dedicated to trying to date me and being exclusive. I told yo awhile ago that having the intent to even try and date means I’m exclusive to you. You used to tell me that was the same for you. You used to be a lot of things you aren’t anymore because the old you wouldn’t have done this. Maybe you were and this is how Ryan felt. I don’t know anymore.

I’m not going anywhere because if I do it means we’ll never date. Don’t take advantage of that knowledge.

6:44am

If this what you meant when we were hanging out that I was shouting myself in the foot? How is it hard not being intimate but not hard doing what you did to me? I’m so confused and hurt. I’m tired of my mind always racing. I just want to be loved by you and face things together slowly over time. All this thinking I exhuasting and I don’t have motivation to do anything else. I won’t validate you and say it brings out the worse in me or that you’re toxic. I truly believe that if we act good for each other people will see and support us. In my mind if we came out of all this like surprise we’ve been talking and dating for a couple months and we’ve been happy and unchanged then people would start to warm up to the idea of it. We were supposed to be happy and spending time together throughout these last few weeks. Not like this. I chose you and that was so freeing and relieving. A heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. I knew I wanted you and I thought you did too. You were so easily swayed. How were you supposed to make this work if that’s all it took? Or maybe I was just another distraction to you. Sometimes you make it so hard to believe you. I still do and can easily have all my doubts washed away if you came back and were close to me. Something to make me feel special. But choosing me even if it’s hard. I love you<3

I hope you still remember how important that symbol is to me. I’m sorry I didn’t use it sooner.

6:52am

Does he even know you like I know you. Know you rave or share any of the things I can share with you? What’s he got that’s so great? What does he have that I don’t? You’ve spent more time with him than me and I’ve gotta believe Chelsea and Tayler. know about him. Have you brought him around your friends already? How deep is he in your life already? What haven’t you told me about him? I was right that you went and saw him to watch 90 day fiancé wasn’t I? I feel like you did sleep with him again even after I begged you not to do something like that again before you slept with me. Why did you sleep with me if you were talking to someone else? WHEN DID I BECOME THE OTHER GUY AGAIN?! what do I do that makes it so easy for people to cheat on me but totally unable to talk to me? What do I do to deserve this?

You still haven’t told me what you did for your birthday. I bet you’ve told him. I’ve told you about everyone I even attempted to talk to or talked to but gave up. I don’t know anything about this guy and yes that does make me feel insecure and gross. Hell you wouldn’t even tell me how you met. Why are you so ashamed to tell me that but so easily tell me you fucked him? Give me the worst news and then can’t even tell me answers to questions? I get it’s hard but you can’t drop bombs on me and expect me not to have questions and then go mia (missing in action) on me and avoid/dodge questions forever. Am I really that hard to talk to? Even now? I feel like I’ve been so much better than ever before. Is that not the case in your eyes?

This is why I didn’t go. I can’t stop thinking and I can’t even get out of bed. Today I’ll watch Netflix in my room.

7:31am

You’re the queen of dodging questions. It’s not hard to tell you don’t want to talk about it or just answer me and let me stew in the truth vs wallow in the unknown. Glad to know this is just eating you up. I bet you still have tinder or whatever all you found this guy on. Or maybe you actually deleted the app for him. He’s worth sticking around for obviously. I know how this shakes out. You have some sort of feelings for him and you won’t shake him off for me. You’re too nice for that. You didn’t for Jordan when he came up. I wanted to spend that day at the fair with you so badly but you chose him and look how he turned out in the end? You didn’t get to go to japan after all and we never got to go to the fair. How am I supposed to believe you’ll choose me now? How am I supposed to believe I mean anything to you when you do this stuff to me?

7:44am

That’s why you felt bad sending me pictures of your tits. Fuck feelings. I’m going to make myself numb.

7:49am

Is this all because I didn’t tell athena and hera I wanted to date you? I know you dislike their names but they have them and atleast you know who you’re up against. I don’t.

11:32am

I’m never going to be able to come with you to stuff am I? I find myself thinking about the intertubing trip last summer. I was really excited for that. I can’t remember why I didn’t go or if it turns out I wasn’t allowed to. I really wish I had though.

12:01pm

Why yes, I am sad playing sad to get sadder. I didn’t allow myself to feel this pain the first time around. I hardened my heart and you melted it and I cried. So now I’m going to get it all out because I’m going to have to harden it again aren’t I? You’re not going to choose me. You just aren’t able to say it yet. And I’m not able to accept it. I won’t leave until you push me away so hard like Emily did. I chose you more so than I chose her so what else do you expect? I meant it what I said. All that time thinking wasn’t for some flimsy promise. I told you I wasn’t going to say yes unless I could actually follow through with it. So here I am.

I’m glad gideon doesn’t know this pain. Well maybe he does. I hope not. I hope he experiences pain of rejection but it’s for something he can change. Well I don’t hope I guess. How do I change though? I want to stop crying today. I haven’t cried like this since that Christmas I started my divorce. Haven’t felt this hopeless or cold. Still don’t have friends I can talk to either. No one supported me then and no one does now. So who do I talk to? Who can or will console me? I hesitated because I didn’t want this again Jess. Why did you let me get like this? Why did you do this to me?

I know how. You didn’t believe me. You couldn’t or wouldn’t. I guess it doesn’t matter which now.

[ohmymegido]

CHROME DIED ON ME WHILE I WAS TYPING THIS SO I HAD TO DO IT LIKE 2 TIMES take this you heathens [ post ]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

my cat, bless his heart

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

two years ago i would have said shy but now i think im more In Between

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

@shanakin and @lizziebobizzy tomorrow !! also college friends :0

4. Are you easy to get along with?

i hope so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

yyyyyye s i guess so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

nice people who make me laugh i guess

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

i hope so, if not that means something bad happened

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my CAT i love him

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

depends on the person, but most of the time not really

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

ffn

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“are you gonna do it“ @blueshyft

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

apparently my recent thing is Ladies with Airy Voices so here’s some of those:

Miss You by Gabrielle Aplin, Night Bus by Gabrielle Aplin, Lone Digger by Caravan Palace, Green Light by Lorde, Fine by Tayler Buono

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

you gotta be v close to me to get hair playing privileges 

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

the word miracles triggers me

15. What good thing happened this summer?

i saw my cat and i pet him a lot

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yee

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

definitely

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

i threw out the bottle when i was done so no not really

19. Do you like bubble baths?

when i was a kid i really liked them !

20. Do you like your neighbors?

i dont know them much but they seem nice

21. What are you bad habits?

i pick my cuticles like a Motherfucker :’0 it’s really bad tbh but it was Even Worse before

22. Where would you like to travel?

japan bc im a weab

23. Do you have trust issues?

express trust to everyone but trust no one

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

laying on my bed like a bum

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my nose maybe?

26. What do you do when you wake up?

fall back asleep and have ragrets 2 hours later

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

this is a Problematic Question (and no, my skin is fine the way it is ty)

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my cat i love him

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

that implies i have an ex in the first place

30. Do you ever want to get married?

yeah, probably

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yee but it needs a trim tbh :/

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

none, i dont really want to bang any celebrities

33. Spell your name with your chin.

saragh

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

volleyball and fencing !! except not that much anymore bc college kills sports rip

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

does platonic liking count bc if not then no not really

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

AWKWARD SILENCES ARE only awkward if you Make it awkward (if you’re the kind of person who points out an awkward silence i hate you and you need to go shut the fuck up)

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

isnt this the same thing as What are you attracted to

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

do bakeries count bc i Love Bread

40. What do you want to do after high school?

college

well Whaddya know

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

..maybe

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im sleeping, busy, or im ignoring you

43. Do you smile at strangers?

i try :’0

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

if i definitely wont be harmed while im there: ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

social obligation and fear of judgement

46. What are you paranoid about?

that people are watching me ;;;

47. Have you ever been high?

i had a Weed Brownie once and it did nothing except taste bad so. no

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yes and i intend to be so again

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

i feel like this is counterintuitive bc dont i not want people to find out in the first place ??

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?

im changing all these european (aka Wrong) spellings into American ones jsyk

also black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

not really

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

i should probably worry less

53. Favorite makeup brand?

i like Stilla eyeliner :0

54. Favorite store?

hummm maybe Muji, it’s a nice place to kill time

55. Favorite blog?

MINE jk i gotta boost BNF @anonymousalchemist her blog is (y)

56. Favorite color?

Red or Green

57. Favorite food? 

recently it’s been Eggs

58. Last thing you ate?

ok chrome has crashed on me like 5 times since i tried to answer this specific question i think it’s cursed

also this chinese egg pancake thing

59. First thing you ate this morning?

the chinese egg pancake thing mentioned before

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

maybe, idk ive lived a long life

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nop

62. Been arrested? For what?

lol no

63. Ever been in love? 

i Guess So

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

it’s not very exciting you should read @anonymousalchemist‘s though it’s really good

65. Are you hungry right now?

yes :(( 

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

they’re mostly the Same so i guess the answer is no

67. Facebook or Twitter?

FB

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

lol no

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

FFN gang ;0 plus some others but no irl names for now

71. Craving something? What?

im still in wisdom teeth recovery so it would be nice to be able to eat food without getting everything Stuck in my stitches :/

72. What color are your towels?

white and beige

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one, but there’s 3 total on my bed

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yes ! a small stuffed cat i’ve had since 3rd grade and a little wolf

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

in total ? too many

75. Favorite animal?

cats i guess

76. What color is your underwear?

black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Brownie a la Mode, or anything along those lines

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

Red and black!

80. What color pants?

black shorts

81. Favorite tv show?

what’s a tv

82. Favorite movie?

Princess Bride

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

ok i finally watched mean girls for the first time this year and it was like. ok i guess. i havent watched the second so i guess Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls bc i have not watched 21JS

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls?

no one god why does everyone have such an obsession over this movie

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

the ray who teaches the school

87. First person you talked to today?

my dad

88. Last person you talked to today?

my mom

89. Name a person you hate?

no one

90. Name a person you love?

MY CAT

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

no not really

92. In a fight with someone?

nope

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

like 1 for exercising maybe (i used to own like 6 when i was in middle school and wore them every day)

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Too Many (see: my entire wardrobe)

95. Last movie you watched?

Lego Batman!

96. Favorite actress?

dont have one

97. Favorite actor?

nope

98. Do you tan a lot?

i tan easily i guess but ive never stepped foot in a tanning salon in my life

99. Have any pets?

CAT plus some fish

100. How are you feeling?

pretty alright

101. Do you type fast?

pretty fast

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

103. Can you spell well?

W - E - L - L

this is easy next question

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yeah, a bit i guess

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yyyes ? no. maybe. what’s the definition of a bonfire party?

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

if i have, then they didnt tell me

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yeah, a few times

108. What should you be doing?

GETTING ready to go to a family friend party but instead im here on tumbl dot com answering a 150 long ask meme

109. Is something irritating you right now?

my glasses are a little smudged

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

i think so yeah

111. Do you have trust issues?

please see #23

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

does my cat count

113. What was your childhood nickname?

I NEVER HAD ONE sarah honestly has No Nickname Abilities i never got a nickname until i was like a junior in highschool and people called me swang on the fencing team. that was nice i was so happy tbh pls call me swang

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yee

115. Do you play the Wii?

yes but not as much as when i was younger. im ready for our switch overlords to take over though

116. Are you listening to music right now?

nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

it’s ok, a good staple

118. Do you like Chinese food?

yes definitely

119. Favorite book?

i dont really have one...

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

im afraid of the unknown and when it’s dark everything becomes unknown

121. Are you mean?

sometimes, but i try not to be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

first instinct: no

but i guess there’s Always Exceptions blah blah blah

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

god no, i dont even buy white shirts bc i dont think they’ll stay clean

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

i believe in immediate attraction and then being lucky that your personalities are also compatible

125. Do you believe in true love?

relationships are built on the foundations of trust, respect, and care for each other

126. Are you currently bored?

a little but this is keeping me busy

127. What makes you happy?

nice looking things

128. Would you change your name?

i dont think so

129. What your zodiac sign?

Capricorn

130. Do you like subway?

honestly everyone shits on subway so much... im sorry....... i like subway.....

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

there’s too many unknown parameters in this for me to give a concrete answer

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

this is literally the same question as the one 122 questions ago

133. Favorite lyrics right now?

too hard to think of a specific one

134. Can you count to one million?

In Theory I Guess I Could

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“i went to bed at 1am last night”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

OPEN bc my cat needs to be able to get in

137. How tall are you?

5′ 8″, give or take 

138. Curly or Straight hair?

does frizzy wave count

139. Brunette or Blonde?

neither

140. Summer or Winter?

both ??

141. Night or Day?

night i guess

142. Favorite month?

January ;0

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope but if i had to i could

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

tea, coffee is icky

146. Was today a good day?

i barely did anything but yeah i guess so

147. Mars or Snickers?

neither, but i guess Snickers bc i dont know what’s in a Mars Bar

148. What’s your favorite quote?

“same” - me, constantly

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

i think they’re there but they either cant really do much or they cant be bothered messing with us

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou)

An abridged dictionary is one that has been shortened to keep it from crushing desks and people’s laps.

tanks princeton review Word SMART 5th edition

WOW OK IM DONE THANKS FOR READING GOODBYE

if you love reading ask hells go check out @anonymousalchemist and @shanakin‘s responses as well

[ismael37olson]

FLETCHER Returns With A Lush Break-Up Anthem, ‘You Should Talk’!

Darling indie-pop songstress FLETCHER has finally returned.

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been over a year since FLETCHER first stole our hearts away with her impressive (and independently released) debut EP, Finding Fletcher.

In that short time, she’s already amassed a loyal fanbase, gone on to perform at a variety of festivals – Billboard Hot 100 Festival, Hang Out Festival and FireFly Festival, owned the meaning of a true “One to Watch” for PAPER Mag, V Magazine and Marie Claire and announced her first ever headlining tour with opening act Tayler Buono, which kicks off in a few days. (Basically, she’s straight-up killin’ it.)

Now (newly) relocated from New York City to Los Angeles, FLETCHER is ready to kick off a new era with her brand new single: “You Should Talk,” the first song off of her anticipated follow-up project.

“You Should Talk,” which was co-crafted alongside KNita + Delacey, is a continuation of the empowering Sara Bareilles-meets-Sia electronica sound of Finding Fletcher. With its kicky synth and drum pulse, “You Should Talk” is a bit crunchier around the edges than FLETCHER‘s previous offerings. The core of the song, though, is purely the stuff of lush pop heaven, especially once that immediate chorus hits.

“But you should talk/ Yeah, you should talk/ Heard you found somebody new (yeah)/ Well you should talk/ Yeah, you should talk/ Cause to fuck it up takes it two/ That shit I did, yeah, you did it too/ I’d call you up, but babe this ones on you/ Well you should talk, cause you gave up,” FLETCHER cries out on the frustrated anthem dedicated to a relationship gone ghosted.

It’s fresh. It’s breaking up. It’s crying on the dancefloor. It’s the sound of an artist who’s about to seriously blow up.

“It’s a situation where I got absolutely no closure and was just fully ghosted,” FLETCHER explains of the song’s inspiration. “It’s almost like mourning the death of somebody – when you meet somebody that you love, they become complete strangers and it almost feels like they died. It was a song, for me, that’s just trying to formulate my own sort of version of closure I never really got from a past situation.”

FLETCHER’s new single “You Should Talk” is also available on Apple Music, Amazon and Spotify!

You guys!! Tour kicks off next week, starting in Toronto on 10/3 at @thedrakehotel (19+)✖️ Few tix left: https://t.co/JEp67gEPqM pic.twitter.com/9mtZkc0bHL

— FLETCHER (@findingfletcher) September 29, 2017

from Jon ALi's Blog http://jonalisblog.com/2017/09/29/fletcher-returns-with-a-lush-break-up-anthem-you-should-talk/

[smallmouthybrunette]

Only kinda high.

I’m at work with Haley, because she works late on Tuesdays so I come and sit in the back with her because she doesn’t like to be here alone. I like these nights because I smoke in my car before I come sit with her. Then I come back in and watch her bake and just kinda hang out and think too much.

Well I just realized that my doctors appointment with my neurologist is in 6 days and I don’t even know what to say to him. I’ve been off my medicine for 3 weeks as of tomorrow and I’ve been high almost every single day since then. I can’t stand the way my body feels and the shit that it does. The only thing that helps is being high. I don’t really know how to tell my neurologist that though. It’s not like he can write me a prescription because it’s not fucking legal here. Can he get me in trouble? I don’t even know if I’m going to tell him, I don’t even know what’d I’d say really. Oh ya when my body feels like it’s killing me I get really high and lay down…? No. He’s going to be mad I’m not on my medicine and he won’t understand why I stopped taking it, just like everyone else. Who even knows if he will try to find a new medicine to put me on or not. I don’t have any fucking clue and I guess that’s why I’m so nervous about this damn appointment.

Hay just distracted me, she does that a lot. More now. I keep feeling like I need to get away from her, but I can't seem to get myself to do so, which is okay with me really.

We gave our sous chef her birthday present today and it was this bowl that is so fucking sweet and all hand blown and she cried!!

I’ve been gone for a while when it comes to writing and there’s so much more going on in my head that it kills me, but I can’t get it all straight enough to fucking write it out. I just thought about my appointment and started writing just now. Like I said I’m at work with Haley. I just am a fucking mess and I genuinely feels like nobody knows anymore because I’ve just been quiet or faked it or something. I don’t really know, but not even Gia has asked me about what’s going on…I guess that isn’t saying much because I never see her, but I don’t know it just felt relevant while I was typing. Haley and I haven’t really talked about it. I guess I’ve put walls up without realizing it. Nana will always be right when she told me “you’re so jaded when it comes to letting people love you” but according to Halli I’m an in between and I’m not meant to be loved so who knows. They’re both right and I’m learning that.

Oh big[ish] news for me. The other day I told Tanner it’s time for me to walk away from him for good. I asked him what he would do if I left and his answer confirmed that it was time for me to go. I told him that and that I love him and care about him, but that he’s never going to love me and I can’t continue to do this to myself basically. I can’t decide if I feel good about that or not yet. I know it was a good choice overall, but emotionally I’m numb about it so far. My mind goes to him a lot, but that’s alright. I guess since seeing some girl on his snapchat story on new years that I might really be done. I actually forgot about seeing some girl on his story until just now and I want to cry but Haley doesn’t know about that yet and I don’t want to talk about it or I will cry. For a while I convinced myself it was Tayler(Clayton’s gf) but I know it wasn’t. It shouldn’t matter thought, right? I just have so many emotions towards it that I’ve started shutting them out.

I think that’s all I’ve got for now I really hopes this is a start to me writing again, I miss being creative and also writing to get my thoughts out.😘

Xoxo M💕