#taxi ap

[endofthe1980s]

whatever the hell this is

[xeeljii]

IM YR DOG

I am here to be yours I don't want you to hurt

WARNING! Explicit RPF! 

Summary: Joost hasn’t been in a real relationship in a long while and when his first anniversary with you rolls around he fucks up royally. 

Word count: 7,4k

CW: 18+, f! reader, no pronouns used for reader, angst but happy ending, established relationship, make up sex, premature ejaculation is romantic lol, multiple orgasms, shower sex.

IMPORTANT A/N! I usually write with an older/current age Joost in mind but this one feels more early 20s type so just keep that in mind. 

Joost was finishing up his album, it was chaos and you had almost not seen each other in the week, texting sparingly and only ever feeling his presence when you got back from work and saw more of his clothes had disappeared and new ones appeared in the hamper, it was a storm brewing with both of you blissfully unaware. He hadn’t been sleeping much or at all, totally engrossed in his work, he gives you shit about your dedication to yours but he is the real workaholic, once he gets an idea can't stop until it is finished, even forgetting to eat or what day it is. Speaking of days, today was Saturday, also your anniversary. He had a reservation for a table at your favorite restaurant, had already planned every step of the day and the evening months ahead, like it was the world cup final and yet today of all days he didn’t text you at all. You assume that he must be in the studio finishing up something, and you would just meet up at the restaurant at six like you had planned. 

However his brain was completely fried, overworked to exhaustion, the blinds of the studio pulled down to concentrate and phone thrown around somewhere in silence because he just NEEDED to get this las song done. He doesn’t know when the last time he had a proper meal was or what time of the day it was but when he finishes the song that had been driving him crazy for three days straight he feels he can final breath in relief. The tension in the studio had been palpable for a few days now but when he yells “Done!” triumphantly everyone feels at ease again.

“I think I need a drink or a few.” Someone suggests and everyone follows with jovial moods. 

Joost is so tired but just wants to let loose for what feels like the first time in forever. The group ends up at someone’s house, alcohol starts being poured and the music is loud enough to deafen, someone’s neighbors will complain surely but right now as Joost sits on the couch finally able to not think about the album anymore he couldn’t care less. He just relaxes, drinks and smokes like it is his last night on earth and laughs with his friends until his stomach hurts.  

You on the other side are sitting alone in a fancy restaurant table. You stay there far longer than you should, you text him and try to call him insistently but no luck. Did he get in accident? After an hour you start getting scared and desperate but don’t want to move in case he actually comes. You are a beautiful statue of nerves and anxiety glued to the table dumbly waiting for someone who isn’t coming. By the second hour you check your phone again, no reply but then you open instagram and see someone had posted a picture with his recognizable figure on the background, on closer inspection you can see cans of beer thrown around and bottles of liquor decorating every corner of the place. You feel as if a cold bucket of water has been dropped on your head. Your palms start sweating, you are holding onto the phone painfully thigh, you feel like everyone is watching you, like every couple in the restaurant is judging you and feeling pity for how stupid you are. You can’t stand it anymore and you stand from the table as gracefully as you can, feeling cold anger burn inside you, you pay for your drinks and get a taxi home. You are silently fuming and can’t stop the angry tears from falling from your eyes that you are wiping away furiously with your trembling hands.

Right after you enter your shared apartment and kick off your shoes you hear the door open again, there are heavy steps almost stumbling up to the living room before he sees you.

���Hi liefde.” He is smiling so widely, oblivious to your inner turmoil and just happy to see you in what has been way too long, he tries walking up to you but you move out of his way quickly.

You notice the stumble on his step and the smell reaches you, he is completely wasted. He tries to get his balance again resting his elbow on the kitchen counter and looking up at you. He wolf whistles or does his best attempt at it in the state he is in.

“You look so are pretty schat, did you have dinner with your friends?” His eyes are unfocused and half lidded it all makes to enrage you even more.

“I don’t know Joost, did you have drinks with yours?” You say venom dripping from every word and if he wasn't so intoxicated maybe he would notice, but instead he replies happily. 

“Yeah! We finished the album!” He tries to grab hold of you and pull you into a hug but again you avoid him, shaking the grab of his hand from your wrist.

“You reek.” You say walking away from him to get a glass of water.

He is a little confused now but he has missed you so much he just wants a little kiss. “Yeah sorry.” he smiles sheepishly rubbing a hand through his messy hair but you don’t even look up, your back facing him. 

“Liefde~” he purrs, his arms reach at your hips from behind, he pulls himself closer, wraps his strong arms around your middle and rest his head against the top of yours. “I missed you baby.” You don’t reply, don’t move at all, it is like you are barely breathing.

His brain is trying to catch up with what is happening, you would usually do something to hold him back, rest your hands against his or at least hum in acknowledgment if you are busy, but now in his arms it feels like he is holding at a cold marble statue. He is starting to panic a little, trying to remember something he did wrong and coming on empty handed. He waits a long moment before opening his mouth again.

“Wait did I forget to empty the dishwasher?” He asks timidly.

Unbelievable, he doesn’t even know it, doesn’t even remember, you had spent hours getting ready for a guy who stood you up to go drinking and doesn’t even know. You feel so stupid, in a second start second guessing every moment of your relationship, every tender word, every decision that got you to this place.

“I don’t know Joost, if it is so unimportant then maybe it isn’t worth your worry.” You reply almost in a whisper, your voice cracks in the last part.

You are angry but even more you are sad, you feel dumb and out of place in his life, all the little insecurities you had been carrying around come back with a vengeance to kick you when you are down. You doubt of the place you even have in his heart, the embrace of his arms feels fake rather than welcoming and you just push him away to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling.

You feel tears start to form at your waterline again, your heart feels heavy and you can barely breath in. You start to walk away. 

When he fells you step away from his arms a cold fear goes straight up his spine. “Baby…” He calls out, panic clear in his tone.

You turn on your feet, defeated faced covered in tears. “It was our anniversary” You say, looking at him.

He looks paralyzed for a second and then you see the exact moment the words make sense in his head. “I didn’t-I forgot- we were gonna go to that place - oh fuck liefde.” He is stumbling all over his words, he makes a move to reach you but you lash out again, he has no right to be acting like this when he was the on that left you all alone.

“I was alone in that restaurant for hours! I kept texting and calling you like an idiot thinking you would show up thinking oh he wouldn’t forget me here, right? Everyone was looking at me like I am dumb and maybe I fucking am because why am I even with someone who can’t be bother to show up and instead goes get fucking wasted on OUR ANNIVERSARY!” Your throat feels raw with every word, you are screaming on his face, the anger and sadness boil into something vicious you want to hurt him, want to make him feel the same way you felt, it is an awful thing that you can’t stop.

“I am sorry liefde, please.”

You can’t stand to see his face right now, turn around and start walking to the bedroom. You want to get undressed quickly, get out of the stupid clothes he bought you and the stupid lingerie you had bought to match them, you wanted to surprise him but he ended up being the one to surprise you in the worst way possible. You feel so pathetic and small it is making you start to itch.

“Baby please look at me.” He keeps walking quickly behind you, doesn’t know what to say or what to do that will make you feel better “I will make it up to you, I promise.” He grabs at your wrist but you quickly pull away again almost painfully. 

“Oh you promise? Well we have both have seen how much you care about your promises.” Your sarcastic tone cuts right through his heart. He looks hurt by that. 

He is not used to anniversaries or birthdays or really keeping track of the year on events, he goes with the flow of things and that is exactly what you like about him but now it feels like he just doesn’t care about you and that thought is scary, it makes you feel completely unimportant like the old kettle on his kitchen or the forgotten old clothes at the back of the closet, it makes you mean.

“Schat, please, let's talk.” Every pet name feels like another slap.

It is your first anniversary together, he had been so excited, he wanted to make you happy and yet here you were angry and hurt all because of him, he didn’t want you to remember your first like this and all of a sudden he worries this would be the only anniversary he would get with you.

“Shut the fuck up! I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you right now. Go sleep on the couch or get out and go drinking I don’t give a fuck, just leave me alone!”  You walk quickly into your shared room that right now feels like prison and close the door with a loud bang after you. 

The shared apartment that is usually filled with music and laughter is now in complete silence, it feels cold and empty, the air is thick with tension and the only sounds are of the clock on the wall that you had bought and the dripping from the faucet on the kitchen that he had forgotten to fix. He stands in the middle of the living room unable to move, he wants to cry, wants to scream, wants to beat himself up for being so useless, wants to crawl on hands and knees and plead with you, but above all else he feels so guilty. He can’t get the image of your sad face from out of his head and this time it is all his fault. He never wants to hurt you, only wants to be the cause of your happiness. Maybe he really is not made to be in a relationship like some people had warned him, maybe even worse he doesn’t deserve it.

Inside the room you undress quickly and throw everything into the hamper. You change into your pajamas, usually you like to wear his clothes to sleep, his familiar smell makes you more relaxed but now you can’t deal with it. You throw yourself on the shared bed and cry silently against the pillows, they smell just like him it only adds fuel to the fire. You can’t stop yourself you feel the world crumbling around you and there is no exit, no one that will come save you and the only person who would you don’t even know if you matter to him at all.

After what feels like hours you must have become exhausted from your own crying and fallen into deep slumber. 

You wake up in the early hours of the morning, your throat feels painfully dry, your head hurts, your eyes feel heavy but now you are too tired to cry anymore. You feel something at the end of the bed, you raise on your elbow and look down, there he is, the bastard, at the foot of your bed like a kicked puppy. He must have wormed his way in the room at some point during the night while you slept and fallen sleep still on his clothes. He looks so pale, you realize there are deep dark circles under his eyes and it pains your heart even in the middle of all this fighting. He has one cold hand holding lightly at your calf under the covers, so pathetic. You want to kick him, watch him tumble from the bed, but still he is your bastard, no? 

You are still angry and you have no intentions of playing nice after what he just pulled on you, you hit him lightly with your foot and then harder when he doesn’t wake up. Finally groggily and confused he raises his head and immediately looks for your face in the dark of the early morning.

“I told you I wanted to sleep alone.” You say with a cold tone.

“Sorry, I missed you.” He says sniffling softly and rubbing at his eyes, you can tell from how red they are that he had been crying too.  “Can we talk please?” He says now sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“I don’t know. Are you still drunk?” You throw back harsh words at him, he regrets it, really does, he truly forgot, not that it makes it okay but the thought of you sitting waiting for him all alone in a restaurant for hours breaks his heart.

“I am really very sorry.” You don't reply and just cross your arms over your chest. “I totally forgot and I know it is not an excuse, we just finished the new song and we wanted to celebrate, it slipped my mind then I lost track of time, I had no idea it was already Saturday.” He looks up at you expectantly. 

“Well I’m happy you had fun!” It comes with more bite than perhaps you want it but still there is tension bubbling inside you. 

“Liefde…” He sounds pleading. 

You bite at your lip before speaking to keep in a pathetic little sound, you don’t want to start crying again so you swallow down harshly. “You really hurt me Joost.”

You hate saying those words, you hate the way his face breaks at them, but it is the truth and that hurts the most.

He starts crawling up the bed softly, slowly like a scared animal, as if you were going to push him away again. “I know, and I cannot apologize enough.” He still has his hand on your calf rubbing slow circles on your skin more to calm himself down than anything, you liked his little habit of fidgeting with his hands when he was nervous but now it is a painful reminder of everything that has happened. “I know I can’t make up for it right now but I really do love you, I love you so much and I am so sorry for hurting you I never wanted-“ his voice cracks, tears had started falling from his deep blue eyes at some point his voice sounds wet and strained, he sniffles trying to compose himself. “I really love you, I don't want to lose you”.

Your eyebrows knit in worry, you hate that he even thought that he would. “You won’t.”

You grab at his hand in your leg, and stroke lightly over it, you are gonna be okay, maybe not right now, maybe it will take some time to rebuild but it is okay, you are gonna give yourself and him the chance, it is going to be okay in the end or it is not the end. 

He allows himself to cry at that, unhurriedly like he can finally breath again. He goes to place a kiss on your knee, looks up through wet eyelashes, you pull at him to sit up, he follows easily and when you pull your hand away he wants to chase it but doesn’t want to try his luck too much. You lay softly against the pillows before you open you arms motioning for him to come over, he does so quick that he almost crushes into you, whispering little I’m sorries against the crook of your neck, kissing softly at the warm skin so his love can reach you. You let him, you feel his soft sniffles against your skin, his cheeks, his whole face, is wet with tears, you run your fingers through soft strands of golden hair, you have cried enough for today and it feels the first time you can truly breath easy. With him in your arms you feel at peace again. You let him cry as he wishes and just caress his back through it until he calms down. 

After a long while you think he might have fallen asleep on you but then he speaks up almost in a whisper. “I really do love you so much.”

You pull at his shirt gently so he will meet your eyes “I love you too Joost, always” You kiss him softly it taste salty but comforting, it taste like him, like home. 

You continue to kiss softly like you are kissing for the first time again, it feels good and soothing to your heart, he kisses you like he wants to melt into you, you know he loves you as you do. You still want to tease him a bit though, so you pull back and whisper an inch against his lips. 

“You know I bought a new lingerie set.” He perks up immediately, you shake your head, “Already took it off, since my boyfriend stood me up and all that.” You scrunch your nose for emphasis, he immediately pouts he can’t belive on what he is missing for his own mistakes. 

“Liefde-” He starts to whine, you pinch at his cheeks.

“I was really looking forward to tonight.” You pout at him, he gets the hint immediately so in tune with you sometimes words are not needed.

“Can I at least make this up to you now?” He says big blue yes staring at you pleading while his hand goes to play with the band of your pajama shorts. 

“Make it worth my while” You smile at him. 

He crawls slowly over your body gently to not put any weight on you. You look up at him, eyes still a little heavy with sleep, a little red from crying, it makes his heart hurt uncomfortably in his chest. He goes to kiss at the high of your cheeks gently placing soft little pecks on your eyes on the tip of your nose until he finally reaches your lips. His first kiss is chaste a little nervous but you open your mouth for him so he starts moving more insistently, kissing you back, he pushes his tongue past your teeth caressing softly at the inside of your mouth. Your hands find the back of his neck and grab instinctively pulling him closer, his hands roam slowly down your body until he reaches the hem of your camisole, you nod against his kiss so he pulls it off you in quick motion before returning to your lips. He kisses along your jaw, leaves an open mouthed trail of kisses down to your neck, feels the lingering scent of your perfume, the one he got you while traveling, he licks at the column of your throat it sends your heart into overdrive. He kisses slowly on your collar bones, bites gently at the skin there while his hands rub sotting shapes at your waist where he is holding you.

He starts pressing big open mouthed kisses at the skin of your chest, reaches one hand to play with one of your soft mounds, slightly stimulating the sensitive skin of you nipple, you press against his touch so delicious and warm in the middle of the cold room. He is licking and sucking all over your tits but avoiding your most sensitive spot where you want him, your legs are rubbing together trying to get any friction going on your core. You grow tired of the teasing as much as he wants to take this slow you are impatient as ever. 

“Joost-“ you whine pushing your chest against his face, he is breathing right against the skin of your nipple but won’t move. 

“Yes baby?” He asks playing coy, how dare he tease you.

You press your breasts together pushing them towards his warm lips. “Please~” You say in a breathy whiny moan that has him twitching in his boxers.

He always sets out to take his time with you and loses that battle halfway through when you sound so needy, he can’t say no and much less now. He goes to lick over your nipple, the skin hardens at the contact he sucks gently first then harder moving his tongue on the tip while his hand plays with the other scratching softly with his nail at the pebbled skin. Kneads softly at the fat with his big hand then switches and repeats the process. He sucks at the perked bud, his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration trying to bring you as much pleasure as he can to show you all the love he feels.

He keeps his beautiful ministrations down your tender body until he reaches you navel, kisses at your belly softly then moves even further south, reaches with sweet hands to the hem of your pajama shorts, you nod at him with a lip trapped between your teeth. He pulls the last of your clothing off in a swift motion, you feel how wet you are, naked, fully to his mercy. He kisses softly down the mound between your legs leaving a sweet peck at your clit that has you mewling but you know when it comes to this, it is as much about you as it is about him, so you let him take his time to do as he pleases. He kisses the inside of your thighs, because you are his, because he can. Takes his sweet time feeling the soft skin there, then licks a stripe up your core, it makes you twitch against his mouth. He adds to the wetness with his spit, with two fingers he spreads you open to kiss deeper into you, you feel his tongue exploratory at your hole softly pushing against the wet muscle. 

“Yes like that” You keep giving little praises to keep him going, your hands go to his hair to keep him in place, as if that was even needed when between your thighs is his favorite place on earth. He could live like this eternally and be grateful. 

He sucks gently at your clit, feels how hard it is on his tongue, licks up and down toying with it, you push your hips up towards his face, he moves his hands to hold at your hips, you are trembling slightly, he moves his hands and grabs behind your thighs and pushes one up placing it behind his shoulders to give himself more room. 

“I’m so close Joost please don’t stop”. You say, he moans against your heat in response, it vibrates on every nerve, he is kissing and licking wildly into you like he is making out with your pussy rather than eating you out, it is too much you have too look away and yet the lascivious sounds he pulls from you fill the room.

He licks deeply into your cunt, into the deep sweetness, he fucks you with his tongue until you have tears rolling down your cheeks while his other hand presses soft but firm circles on your clit to bring you to an orgasm. You feel yourself unraveling quickly your hips pushing wildly against him while he continues to lick you through it, he feels your pussy twitch and clench on his tongue, he is so painfully hard at some point he started humping against the mattress to relieve tension, your sweet screams of pleasure are all the reward he wants. You pull on his hair so hard it hurts but he doesn’t separate even an inch from you while you ride your high trying to prolongate it as much as he can with soft licks to your core and deft fingers on your clit. 

When the stimulation gets too much you start running from the touch, he places soft kisses on your wet folds as you push away his head gently but he holds you by the hips, hugging around your lower half to keep you close. He rest his head against one of your thighs and looks up so blissful, all pussy drunk and sweet, chin and mouth still wet with your release. 

“Get naked, I want to feel you.” You say more as an order than a plea and he is up from the bed in a second. 

He is still wearing the clothes he wore when he came home, not like he could have changed into anything since you locked yourself in the bedroom. He has sobered up but he is still a little slow and uncoordinated. Your hands moves slowly down you chest pulling lightly at your nipples still wet from his spit, he starts tracking your movements with his eyes, swallows deeply. He pulls his shirt over his head and catches how your hand goes between your legs and start softly toying with your bundle of nerves looking up to him through heavy eyelids. He can’t pull his eyes away, can’t move and feels his throat close, this is the hottest thing he has seen in his life and he is short circuiting. You start rubbing harder building back up to the edge of your orgasm. 

“Quickly~” You moan incessantly rubbing at your clit, legs spread for his viewing pleasure and grabbing at your nipples with the other hand to give him a show and torture him a little more.

“Please have mercy on me, I’m gonna die.” He whines as he struggles dumbly to unbuckle his belt and fails.

“If I come before you are done I’m just going back to sleep.” You say with no real intention behind it, just to see him get more flustered, you like him like this all red and dumb, all for you. 

You moan loudly pushing two fingers inside your heat. At the threat he pulls his pants and boxers down in a quick motion almost falling when his ankles get tangled in the fabric and he falls back at the edge of the bed. You laugh at that, how desperate he is still for you, even a year in the wonder isn’t lost at all. He loves the sound of your carefree laughter is so grateful he gets to hear it even when it is at his expenses. 

“Good boy~” You almost purr. You spread your legs for him, letting him come near you slowly feeling the mattress dips at his weight but you put a hand in his stomach to stop him before he enters you. “You have to earn it.”

He is probably gonna cum without even putting it in, he has given up at this point, but he nods his head dutifully after the day he made you have and presses just his tip against your folds how you like it. You feel so hot under him and he is all but dripping over your core. He puts his hands at the back of your thighs pushing softly so you will give him more space, with your legs almost against your chest he sees the way you pussy flutters under his gaze almost like a flower, so wet and glistening for him. He starts rubbing softly against you lips making sure his tip presses generously against your clit every time he comes near it. You cunt is so pretty and shiny with your release, all for him, he can’t take his eyes away. He keeps moving rubbing against you as your hips try to match him to feel more of that delicious friction. 

Soon you are moaning again under him. “I’m close Joost, I want to feel you inside” You whisper sultry. 

He lets go of your thighs softly and pulls himself slowly up to kiss you, you kiss back without hesitation, tasting yourself in his tongue is so erotic. He lines up his erection with your entrance and starts pushing slowly into you. You are so pretty under him, your eyes shiny so brightly, your lips are red and there are tears falling from your eyes but this time they are from pleasure, he feels so fulfilled and lucky to be the one to have you like this it fills his heart so much he feels he will explode with love any second. He barely manages to push halfway into you before he feels a shot of electricity up his spine, his body collapses on top of yours, hips thrusting deeply into you as he comes without warning. 

“Sorry, sorry. Oh fuck! Sorry.” He says between little whimpers, his hips stutter softly into your heat and he can’t do anything to stop it.

You smile to yourself while you hold him in your arms caressing softly at the expanses of his back, your hands move down below reaching to grab at his ass and pull him closer, wrap your legs around his hips, so he is deeper as he rides the last of his high. You keep pressing little kisses to the side of his face that he is now hiding in the crook of your neck while he comes down. 

“I'm sorry liefde.” He says against the pillows, hugs you tighter still hiding his face, you press a kiss to the skin of his shoulder you can reach.

“It is okay, it is okay.” You say soothing him, you run your nails softly over the skin of his back. 

You cup his face with your hands and pull softly so you can see him, his skin is a deep shade of red, it is adorable, you kiss him softly, he deepens the kiss and you suck at his tongue and feel more of your taste than whatever he had been drinking or smoking, it feels like he really belongs to you. You feel his cock kick weakly inside your walls, his cum dripping down your thighs slowly. You pull away barely and then push at his shoulder softly. He is now laying on his back and you are on top of him, his cock still inside you now softening.

“Liefde I can’t-” He says almost worried but you bend down to kiss his forehead. 

“Just stay still a little longer I’m almost there.” You barely move on his lap, don’t want to torture him anymore. You just want to feel him inside when you reach your peak. You are rubbing at your clit firmly chasing after your own climax, you feel your walls spasm against him, he whimpers beneath you, his hands go to grab at you hips in delicious agony.

“You are so beautiful.” He is hypnotized by the way your chest moves when you breath, your beautiful features breaking into ecstasy, he catches the exact moment you come undone, he feels you clench around his soft dick almost tortuously tight.

“Joost!” You scream on top of him, he moans back feels you twitching all over him. 

“Schat I love you so much.” He speaks into the darkness.

This time it is you who collapses on the bed, he holds you close to his chest, caresses at your back until you can breath normally again, presses kisses to your hair whispering sweet nothing in your ear. 

You feel his release and yours wet your thighs, it feels too sticky to sleep in so you raise softly. 

“I wanna shower.” You say pressing a kiss to his jaw. 

He nods, pulls you off him with a wince, you feel so empty, your cunt clenching on nothing. He sits up on bed with you still sitting on his lap too tired to even attempt to move. He grabs at your thighs below your ass and pulls you up on his embrace like you are weightless, you wrap your legs around his middle and hold tightly at his neck as he carries you to the bathroom. He puts you down slowly making sure your shaky legs don’t betray you while he starts the shower then he lets you in before him and joins you right after. The water is warm you start cleaning yourself up slowly, the sadness of the day washes away down the drain you don’t want to think anymore about it. He rubs body wash on your back and washes it away with soft deft hands massaging at the clenched muscles of your neck, it feels so good to be taken care of. 

You start cleaning between your legs, softly with your fingers between your folds before you feel his arms wrap around your middle and pull you to his chest under the water stream.

“Let me.” he says, his hand much bigger than yours hovers between your legs until you nod. 

He pushes his fingers in you softly moving in and out, his other arm tightly wrapped around your stomach to keep you standing. You feel his release spill out of you, you have to hold your breath your arm reaches to hold at his forearm as he works his fingers deep into your heat, he starts pulling little moans out of your mouth, sometimes you feel he knows your body better than you do and in moments like this it feels true.

“Joost I thought you were just helping me clean up.” You whine, throwing your head back resting it agains his shoulder, he kisses at your hairline softly. 

“Should I stop?” He asks genuinely, you know he never pushes you further than you want to go but you shake your head negatively so he continues.

It feels so good, your cunt is so tired and overstimulated but he is being so soft, so patient, fingering deep inside, touching at the spongey spot that makes you melt over and over again, you don’t know if it is from how pent up you have been with his absence, when usually you go at it every day, or the rollercoaster of emotions of the night has made you so sensitive but you feel another orgasm building softly in your core. You feel he has become hard again, hot member pressing at the back of you body, it is like he can never get enough of you. You reach a hand back and start stroking him gently.

“It is okay” He says ever so tender with you, never wanting to hurt you or make it uncomfortable for you, he knows you are tired and spent but you look up at him, wet hair sticking to your pretty face. 

“I want you to feel good too.” You rub your ass against him to emphasize your words and make his will break. “Just be gentle.” you whisper, he bends down his neck so you can kiss him and you do so.

Your skin is so soapy and slimy, he thrust against you a couple of times, at the cleft between your asscheeks, his fingers are still deep in your cunt until he pulls away softly, you see your shiny release on his digits and it makes you blush. He grabs hold of your hips gently, holds himself in his hand then pushes into you slowly inch by inch but you are still so wet and warm there is no resistance just the fluttering feeling of your walls on his cock. 

There is nothing more delicious than the feeling of being so connected, so close you can melt into one, he stays there without moving for a long moment just feeling you around him listening to your soft breath and the running of the water.

“You can move.” You tell him softly reaching your arm above you to hold at the back of his neck. 

“Give me a second.” He says in a deep voice, he is trying to breath through his nose to calm down. 

You laugh to yourself slightly and then push back on his hard dick. His hands grip tighter on your hips trying to keep you still. 

“Scath, you are killing me.” He says smiling in disbelief. 

“Good.” You reply looking up at him. He shakes his head you before he moves. 

He starts fucking into you, deep slow thrust into your heat, then pulling out of you at excruciatingly slow pace, then pushing in again deep until he feels he can’t go further. You are moaning  into the hot air of the bathroom, he watches hypnotized as the little droplets of water slide all over your body, your pretty nipples hardened with lust standing against your chest begging for attention, he moves one of his hands up your chest and pulls slightly at the pebbled skin, you moan loudly and he feels you cunt clenching all over him. He starts moving faster, harder you hear the wet sound of skin against skin, feel him groaning against your ear, holding at the flesh of your hips so tight it is bound to leave a mark. He feels you softly tightening on him again and again, your breath becomes more labored but he wants to see your pretty face when you come, he is addicted to it, can’t get the same satisfaction if he misses it, so on a swift move he pulls out fully leaving you empty and confused before spinning you around, grabbing at your arms and placing them behind his neck. 

“Hold tight.” The only words he says before he grabs at the back of your thighs to lift you up, he presses you against the tile wall and with one hand pushes his cock inside you again. You gasp against his mouth.

With the new angle you feel him impossibly deeper in your core, you can barely breath, eyes wildly open with surprise. He starts bouncing you on his length his hands grabbing handfuls of your ass, moving you like you are impossibly light on his embrace.

“Ah too deep Joost!” You whine against his mouth as he kisses at the corner of your lips.

He smiles proudly at that. “Sorry schat, I only have one dick size” He says delighted.

“Idio-” Your insult melts into a high pitched moan when his dick hits right at your g-spot.“There, right there Joost more~” You mewl against his mouth.

The “be gentle” promise seems so lost when you can feel him so deep in you it should scare you. You are both worked up and eager to reach your peak again, he is kissing at your mouth more like shoving his tongue inside it, you can barely move your lips back, everything feels electric every nerve standing waiting for the drop. You hold with one hand at his neck and reach the other between your legs to rub fast circles on your poor clit. He is watching intently at the place where you connect, seeing himself disappear inside your heat and your hand wildly rubbing on yourself, he hears you whimper and whine his name, it is all so overstimulating and yet he feels he cannot get enough.

“Yes baby make yourself cum all over me.” He says in a deep groan, his voice sounds so labored and dripping with lust it send you over the edge, you clench around his length, walls pulsing all over him. 

You throw your head back in ecstasy, an orgasm that feel endless while he keeps fucking into you, continuing to chase his high with a few uncoordinated thrusts that have you whining from over stimulation. He cums deep inside you again, this time it knocks the wind out of your lungs his efforts to clean you up all but wasted now. You feel your heart and his beating wildly and the sound of strained breaths creating an unlikely symphony with the sound of the shower. 

After a long languid minute he still has you pressed against the wall held tightly on his arms, he is usually so clumsy when he has to get up early, all but tumbles into the shower. You swear one of this days he is gonna fall and hit his head on the sink, but with you on his arms he is so careful balancing you properly so you won’t slip from him. He finally raises his head from your chest but before places open mouthed kisses right where your heart should be, you meet him with a wet kiss on the lips, he slowly puts you down, his eyes seem so heavy like he will fall asleep any minute now.

“Lets finish off quickly.” You tell him he nods. 

You finish massaging body wash onto him, you feel how tense the muscles on his back are, more than you have ever felt, you feel a little bad for your earlier outburst, he had been working so hard what he did wasn’t right but you can tell he is truly sorry. You wash him off quickly and do the same for yourself.

You both come out of the shower, wrap in soft towels before he reaches for the hair dryer and turns it on. 

“Turn around.” He says his voice sounds so heavy you really fear he might just fall asleep right here and then you will have to somehow drag him to bed. 

But he doesn’t fall asleep, instead he starts gently blow drying your hair you feel so peaceful, finally, you let him work his fingers on your scalp, you look into the mirror ahead and see he is already looking at you, it makes you blush like when you wake up late and he is already up just staring at your face, no matter if you were drooling through the night he thinks you are so beautiful.

He places a soft kiss at the top of your crown before he speaks again “So…. About the lingerie?”

You knew this one was coming, you roll your eyes at him in the mirror “You don’t deserve to see it.” You say quickly avoiding his eyes where he will see you are not serious at all.

He pouts, it is so cute, you will let him see of course, but not now, he has to earn it again or he won’t learn, you need to stop treating him like a dog too, probably, maybe… 

“Can I ask again another time?” He turns off the blow dryer and rests it in the counter.

You walk out the bathroom and he follows right behind. “Perhaps…if you are well behaved.” You look behind your shoulder and wink at him he smiles brightly back at you, if the torture you will put him through to let him see you on the lingerie set is even half as delicious as what he just went through then he is already looking forward to it. 

You throw the towel on a chair he does the same then you climb on bed lifting the comforter so he will just slip in. He does and then pulls you against his chest resting your head right below his chin. You will fall asleep in his arms, wake up in the late afternoon maybe order take out and talk it out, and you will talk anything out as many times as it takes because he is worth it, because both of you are, no matter how hard things get being together is worth it. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

MASTERLIST *ੈ✩‧₊˚ A/N: this ended up being really long oops anyways thank u for reading to the end if u did let me know if you liked it <3  ps. this was based on a suggestion ty for that :>

[ponett]

I hadn't tried any sort of PlayStation emulation in probably over a decade because when I tried it back then it was kind of a mess, but god. It's so good now. DuckStation is so good for PS1, and PCSX2's giant 2.0 overhaul that makes it almost identical to DuckStation is fantastic for PS2 games. It just works now. No fiddling with the settings. I just load the game I want to play and it works and it's great. And it feels so good to be able to play these games with a real DualShock 4 instead of an Xbox controller, or a shitty Logitech controller with a DualShock-style layout like what I had years ago

Been jumping around and trying out various games and having a grand old time. Played some Ape Escape 2. Played some Crazy Taxi. Played some Simpsons Hit & Run. Played some OutRun 2006, which I'd never played before despite loving the original OutRun. The main thing that spurred me to do this was wanting to play Castlevania: Lament of Innocence for the first time, so I'm looking forward to that. Got a bunch of other great games downloaded that I've never played before but always meant to—God Hand, DMC 1 and 3, Rez, Max Payne since I became such a fan of Remedy's later stuff this year, etc. Also some trash that's fun to check out when I'm not paying for it, like that Sopranos PS2 game that exists because they were just adapting every beloved crime drama into a shitty PS2 game in the wake of GTA

God, I love emulation. I'm gonna go ham with this

[gluion]

familiarity (it’s all sticky) — myung jaehyun

peter parker!jaehyun x spiderman!reader

wc — 4k genre & warnings — exes (to sort of lovers?), angst, touch of fluff, ghost-spider au, hurt/comfort (both physical and emotional), discussions of wounds and depictions of blood, reader’s hair is long enough to be tucked behind their ear, mentions of non-sexual stripping and showering playlist — nonviolent communication by metro boomin, james blake, a$ap rocky, & 21 savage // hummingbird by metro boomin & james blake notes — spidermyung save me... (sunwoo & dk vers) thank u again to cat for betareading the og ver like always <3 posting this because i have another spidermyung fic in the works anyway <3 if you enjoyed reading, please do reblog & leave feedback! request to be part of the taglist! masterlist

synopsis — you’re not sure why you decide to show up at your ex’s place all wounded up from tonight’s battle.

new york city never falls silent. the bustle of every new yorker can be heard through their footsteps,  the wheels that glide against the train tracks along with the beeps of taxis sound throughout the city. the metropolis stays alive in every street, every alleyway, every corner. no matter what hour it may be, each pavement is wide awake.

but the lights seem hazy tonight; the luminescence pours out of every building, the led boards are only blurs of silhouettes and illegible words. normally, you would warn against going out if someone could barely make sense of what these signs say, but you never seem to follow your own advice.

as you swing through the city, web clinging onto every building, blood continues to seep through the white spandex that covers you from head to toe. your body feels heavy, the pain in your lower abdomen continuing to spike with every movement—every swing—you make.

you bite on your lip, holding back the whimpers. your eyes dart through every street sign you pass. with every swing, you realize you’re nowhere close to where you should be. instead… 

you don’t allow yourself to think it over. maybe the loss of blood has you moving out of impulse, but for now, you can only think of getting rid of the pain.

you swing around the corner before landing down at the familiar fire escape, paint-chipped and rusted just like you remember. a hiss leaves your mouth as your hand reaches out to the spot where the blood continues to seep through, holding it down to keep pressure on the wound.

you’re face-to-face with the window; the reflection of you all suited up in some persona is a sight you’re accustomed to—but not on the glass of his window. you’re not sure why you came back here, injured in an identity he only knew of through word of mouth.

but the throbbing in your abdomen doesn’t give you enough time to think more about it. pushing the window up, you throw one leg over the edge into the apartment. your eyes quickly scan through the familiar space—a room you once treated as yours.

pillows scattered and bedsheets wrinkled, the walls are littered with the same posters of comics he swears to be the best of all time, along with his desk, littered with trinkets you haven’t seen since the day you left him—ones that he talked about to you back then with so much joy.

as you attempt to get your other leg over the edge of the window, you yelp at the sharp pain that strikes. “fuck,” you whimper, gasping out a breath. another groan rips out from your throat as you force your leg over, head resting on the frame with closed eyes, bracing yourself through the wave of pain that follows.

as pants continue to leave your mouth, your senses tingle as your ears catch the sound of footsteps on the other side of the room. you attempt to stand up only for another groan to leave your lips, and you realize it’s too late—the door creaks open, revealing the man you haven’t been face-to-face with since you said your farewell months ago.

dressed in an oversized white tee and a pair of black shorts, jaehyun stands with a bag of chips in his hand and disheveled hair, eyes wide and gaping. you can only assume he was fresh from bed.  

“s-spiderman?!” he looks around, noticing the mess that you’re being exposed to. before you can register it, he rushes in, dropping the bag of chips somewhere near the doorway, and tries to tidy his bed. “w-what are you doing here? i think you might’ve entered the wrong room,” he stutters as he attempts to fix his pillows and bedsheets (poorly, if you may say). 

somehow, the sight of jaehyun all frazzled makes you smile behind your mask. the idea of your—no, you mean, this guy all worried about you seeing how untidy he lives makes you chuckle.

but as you laugh, pain shoots through your lower abdomen once more. you cough out before hissing, pressing onto the wound. it takes everything in you to keep your body upright until you feel a pair of hands rest on your shoulders. you look up only to be met with his worried expression.

and you spot the way his eyes trail down to where your hand rests. you’re thankful that the mask could hide the heat that rises to your cheeks.

“oh god, you need that treated,” jaehyun’s eyes snap back up to you, and your breath hitches. even after all these months, he still holds stars in his eyes.

it’s been a while since you last saw him up close. the bags on his under eyes have turned a few shades darker, and you notice an eyelash that rests on his cheek. you don’t think about what you do next, your free hand reaching out to his face, and his breath hitches. once you pick it out, you flick the strand off of your fingers, and that’s when you realize the mistake you committed.

“s-sorry,” you choke out. although you try to keep your voice as low and gruntled as possible, he frowns. he bites the inside of his cheek as his eyes flicker between your masked face and the wound.

“i-i don’t know how to help. i can call for an ambulan—”

you grab onto his arm before he can leave. as you shake your head, he gulps. “i can’t really help you,” he says, but your grip doesn’t falter. with that, he lets out a sigh before kneeling in front of you. his hands find themselves on the ledge, his arms now caging your frail figure. “do you have someone in mind who can help you?”

jaehyun’s question is innocent. you’re sure the last thing he meant was to mock your situation—showing up in a “stranger’s” room unannounced—but it strikes a chord in you.

you haven’t spoken to him since you broke up a few months back. when you’re outside of your suit, you avoid him like the plague. in the hallways of campus, you take any possible route to not cross his. but when you’re covered in your second skin, you find yourself on top of buildings watching him from far away. with the distance, you allow yourself to learn about what he’s been up to since you two last spoke. 

so you don’t know why you sit in front of him all injured and dressed up in white, black, and pink spandex, because you haven’t spoken to him since that day. shame bubbles within you all while reality slowly slips from your fingertips. and the way your body gets heavier with every second that passes has him mumbling profanities.

his hands hold onto you as he makes you lean your weight on the frame of the window. “wait,” he says as he stands up and walks into his bathroom. before you know it, he comes out with a box.

jaehyun finds his spot back in front of you and he opens what he retrieved. as he looks through the supplies of bandages, alcohol, gauze, and more, he says as his eyes flicker up towards you, “i don’t know how much this will help but it’ll do for now.”

and you should be thankful that someone is willing to bandage you up after the rough night you’ve had, but it feels like a lie to have jaehyun be the one to do it, especially when you haven’t told him the truth.

so when he grabs onto the supplies he needs to treat your wound, your free hand reaches for the underside of your mask. his eyes follow where it rests, and he freezes in his tracks. your fingertips curl on the fabric as you take a deep breath.

“you don’t—”

you shake your head, cutting him off, and you close your eyes before pulling off the mask.

you’re afraid to look at the boy kneeling in front of you, for you can only imagine the annoyance—the disgust—that will paint his features. it’s not like you had a choice to show up at his fire escape this one night, but it was your choice to reveal who spiderman really is behind the mask.

a beat passes.

you’re not sure what to do at this moment. what are you supposed to do after a vigilante reveals who they are?

but when you open your eyes, jaehyun looks back at you with an emotion you can’t pinpoint. he averts his eyes, trailing down to your wound. “let me see it,” he whispers.

you gulp, an attempt to clear your throat and thoughts, before letting your hand move away from the puncture. your hand grips the hem of the top of your suit, peeling it upwards to reveal a bloody wound. from the sight, it looks like you were stabbed, but it’s only a deep cut.

he pulls out a piece of cloth, reaching out and pressing it to your wound. you yelp, eyes squeezing shut at the contact.  “i’m sorry, but we need to stop the bleeding a bit more.” it takes everything in you to open your eyes. you’re met with the sight of jaehyun whose face holds a thousand emotions—you can’t identify any of them.

“can you keep pressure on it?” you only nod before you remove your gloves, afraid to touch the wound with fabric covered in grime. you dump your mask and gloves on the space beside you before letting your hand reach to where the cloth is held against. your hand brushes against his for a split second—you retract your hand immediately at the contact with his skin.

at the sudden motion, the cloth against your stomach drops with nothing left to hold it. jaehyun curses in a panic, hand shooting out in an attempt to save it, but you react faster. snatching it mid-fall, you grasp it tightly, placing the cloth back onto your wound. his eyes dart between where your hand rests and your face, a twinge of worry cast on his features, but he doesn’t give you an opportunity to say anything as he stands up quickly and walks back to his bathroom.

you hear the water run for a moment. the noises of the street fill your ears. the lights from outside cascade the floor, hues of yellow and purple filling the room. and then thunder rumbles; it shakes the floorboards. the sounds of raindrops follow, and you feel your back start to get wet from the storm that has entered new york city.

you try to push yourself off the ledge, a groan ripping out of your throat once more. and you’re finally on your feet. but at any moment, it feels like you may collapse.

“wait, wait! what are you doing?” jaehyun exclaims as he rushes out of the bathroom. he quickly grabs hold of you in an attempt to keep you steady. “don’t stand up or that wound might get worse.”

“i-it’s just the rain. i don’t want to leave the window open.” as you turn your torso, another spike strikes where your wound is. the yelp that leaves your mouth has jaehyun grip onto your arm tighter.

“no, just sit. i’ll take care of it,” he says as he brings you to his chair, his hand never leaves your arm. you let out a hiss until your bottom meets the cushion. as soon as your back rests on the chair, you close your eyes for a moment from the pain.

his hand leaves you. you hear the window shut; the car horns and barks from stray animals are now muffled.

when your eyes flutter open, jaehyun crouches in front of you with a wet towel in his hand. “i need to clean it.” you only nod before removing the cloth on your wound. he grabs it from you and places it on his lap.

as he raises the wet towel to your wound, you flinch at the contact. he quickly retracts it and asks, “does it hurt?”

“no, it’s just cold,” you mumble back. he only nods before attempting to clean the area around your wound. while he keeps his eyes on the puncture, your eyes remain on his face; hues of yellow cast upon him.

his skin glows under the city lights—did anyone know about the stars you once carved on it?

“is this why we broke up?” his eyes snap toward yours as he asks that question.

you cannot help but bite the inside of your cheek. “y-yeah,” you choke out.

he hums before his eyes go back down to your injury. “i’m guessing this is why you were distant then, right?”

you don’t bother to speak, letting the silence speak for itself.

he removes the wet towel; the white cloth is covered in patches of red. as he crumples it into a ball, you spot that his white shirt holds splotches of blood as well.

jaehyun stands up to drop the pieces of fabric on the table behind you. “your dad obviously doesn’t know,” he mutters to himself.

it’s a rhetorical question. of course, your father has no clue of your late-night rendezvous. you’re sure he could never look at you the same if he found out because to him, he would never understand what you do. he would see you only as a low-life criminal in the same way the nypd does. 

jaehyun then dabs a cotton ball soaked in betadine on your abdomen. you bite on your lip as a hiss leaves your mouth. “fuck,” you curse, and he only continues to clean up your wound.

jaehyun takes over you two. as he bandages you up, you allow yourself to close your eyes. you were thankful to find rest in these small moments. but you don’t miss the warmth of his fingertips on your skin; they feel just like last time.

“why did you come here?” his question has your eyes snapping open, and you are met with a frown resting on his face.

you bite the inside of your cheek. “i-i don’t know.” it’s a lie—one you both know. you had every chance to change the route you were taking. instead, you chose to go to his place—even if it may be on the other side of where you live.

he lets out a sigh. it’s clear that he’s disappointed by your words, but all he says is “okay,” as he gets up. “you can stay here for the night.” he stands in front of you in a shirt covered in patches of blood—it’s proof that his heart still holds a spot for you.

despite the venom that was laced in your words the night you cut ties with him, he leaves you a space for you to fill. it’s another choice you can make, but one you’re not sure if you should take.

jaehyun walks to the desk behind you and flips the lamp on. you swivel the chair so that you’re face-to-face with his slouched figure. you would’ve scolded him, but you’re not in the place to do so—not after what you two had.

but a part of you wishes to chide those words—hey, keep slouching and your back will get worse—for old time’s sake. it takes everything in you to hold back from saying the reminder, but it takes nothing to let your hand grip the back of his shirt. his movements halt.

as you sit up, you let your face bury into the arch of his back. the scent of his laundry detergent (it’s still the same smell of lavender) fills your nose, and you let your hands trail around his torso until they find their home on his waist. even after all these months, your hands knew where to rest—your spidey senses knew who to go to.

you feel his hands rest on your arms, his thumb drawing circles on your forearm. you breathe at the same pace as him. whenever his shoulders move up, yours follow. and you allow yourself to cherish just this once the familiar warmth of jaehyun. you let your soul mesh with his once more.

with closed eyes, you whisper, “i still look for you.” his thumb stops moving, and a shaky breath leaves your mouth. “i’m here because all i know is you.”

it’s half of a lie, but still a lie nevertheless. you shake your head against his shirt. “no,” you rescind. “i know i shouldn’t be here, and i had every chance to go back home, but,” you take a deep breath. “would you let me, just this once, be honest with you?”

your question hangs in the air—it’s not for him but for you. all the choices you took led to this moment, from embracing the persona you were handed through a single spider bite all the way to removing the mask in front of him.

jaehyun spins to face you. he stands in front of you with the remnants of you covering him, his shirt coated in hues of red and your blood dried up on his hands. the light behind him causes a shadow to paint his face.

but when he kneels once more in front of you, you get a good look at his features. he still looks like the same boy you first met—the same one you fell in love with—but you wonder if he was still the one you knew?

that is until his hand reaches toward your face. you hold your breath as it finds its spot on your cheek. but as his thumb grazes your cheekbone, a trembling breath leaves you. you gulp everything down—your fears and anxieties—so that you can finally be honest with jaehyun.

“i wanted to tell you who i really am.” a flicker of confusion flashes through his eyes. “and i know i’m not doing it in the best state,” a chuckle leaves your mouth. “but with every day that passes, and every injury i need to endure, i didn’t know when i would be able to tell you what went wrong with us.” a beat passes. “what went wrong with me.”

he shakes his head. “nothing’s wrong with you. what are you talking about?” a frown takes over his face. “i mean, you’re spiderman, for god’s sake.” you weren’t able to hold back the giggle that slipped from your lips.

but it wouldn’t be fair to just accept his words as is, not after the damage you’ve caused.

you let a hand rest on his, the one that rests on your cheek, and you curl your fingers so that you hold it. “i’m sorry that this is me.” the whisper is loud enough to fill the silence of his room. “i’m sorry that i crashed here all injured and left you to deal with the mess,” your eyes flicker to his bed. “especially on a night when you were resting.”

as soon as your eyes go back to jaehyun, you notice that he’s biting the inside of his cheek. “why are you telling me this?” it’s an honest question, one he couldn’t figure out the answer to. “we haven’t seen each other since you broke up with me.”

and he has every right to be confused with your sudden appearance. after all the months spent avoiding him in the halls while still seeking him on top of buildings, jaehyun was left with no clue as to why you come to him first in such a dire situation. why is it that you chose to reveal such an intimate part of yourself months after you two have drifted?

“do i have to say it?” you ask.

and he looks back into your eyes before saying, “it’s the least you can do.”

so you grab onto his hand, moving it so that it rests in yours. the sight of his fingers and palms covered in splotches of you fills your heart with warmth. it’s proof of the time he spent to patch you up. no matter who you may be—spiderman or not—you will forever be at his mercy.

“we can’t be together. it will only be another cycle of pain.” for both of you. as your eyes land back on his face, you spot sorrow coating his features.

“but i still do.” it’s an unfinished thought on his end. despite the frown you show, all he does is flash you a bitter smile. “i always have and always will.”

and it clicks.

“n-no, jaehyun,” you shake your head. “you can’t.”

he brings your hand close to his lips, letting it linger for a moment. “but you do,” he whispers into your fingertips. “right?”

even after revealing who spiderman truly is behind the mask, you expect jaehyun to rethink everything he knows. the months spent away from you should be enough reason to reconsider how much he knows of you now. but even if you two were to spend years apart, he would still read you as well as he does now. 

“i can’t,” you choke out. “i can only offer so much, and you deserve so much more.”

he smiles at you—the same one you used to see every day, no matter what time of the day it may be—as his free hand reaches for your hair, tucking it behind your ear.

“i couldn’t care any less.”

you shake your head. it’s clear he doesn’t understand the gravity of it all; to be with you means to remain in constant danger. “no, jaehyun. you don’t understand. i broke up with you because i’m batshit scared of what will happen to you.”

because it seems to always occur—anyone you come close to becomes another target for your enemies. it’s already hard enough to handle the responsibility of being a masked hero, but you don’t think you could handle a possibility where jaehyun’s death would be on your hands.

but all he does is shake his head and says, “i don’t care. i still love you.”

you haven’t heard him say that to you in months. such a simple phrase causes warmth to fill your limbs and heat to rise to your cheeks. he still has the same effect on you after so long.

there are consequences that this conversation bears. you should have stood up and left as soon as he patched you up. it should’ve been obvious that the longer you stayed, the more you would pour out sentiments that you tried to keep under wraps—under the mask—and it seemed that jaehyun knew how to undo them even better than he did then.

and hearing jaehyun say those words has you falling into a perpetual cycle of torment, one that makes every day intolerable for you can only watch him from afar. but aren’t you already living it the more you deny what’s in front of you two?

so you only nod, and bring his hand close so you can feel his fingertips on your lips. with closed eyes, you whisper, “okay.”

it’s a testament to everything—one to his offer to let you sleep in this very room you once treated as yours, one to his confession that tilted your world’s axis, one to the very situation you’re in—and you’re sure he knows it, too.

he smiles as soon as your eyes flutter open. “let’s go to sleep.”

you know that sleep meant to be wrapped in his arms all while he would leave kisses on your temple. you don’t remember the last time you got enough rest, but you remember that the last time you slept in jaehyun’s arms was the last one you were able to fall into slumber at ease.

so you nod, allowing him to help you out of the chair. and he helps you through it all—shedding the suit off of you, cleaning you of all the grime from tonight’s adventure, and getting dressed in fresh clothes—until you two find your place on his bed.

nothing is said for the rest of the night. for once, you drift into slumber without any secrets stashed away.

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @blankjournal @onedoornet @kstrucknet

boynextdoor permanent tag list: @bndokidoki @0310s @whyilovewhales-pdf

[varietysunsets]

I win cause I got tagged twice hee hee 💅💅 /j

TAGGING @borealflorist @genderfluidbowl-of-soup @staarpiece @wormadile @finalpan @glfry @paranoidzombi @tombstoney

Tagged by @coolseabird

Rules: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favourite.

ima (no pressure) tag @le-velo-pour-dru @ace-aussie-asshole @redrehab @remedialchaoticscreaming @ineffablake and of course anyone else who wants to do it :)

(art drawn by @sealbatross, my own personal hero)

[kangsae0]

nobody knows; park sohyun x reader

Scenario: nobody knows you are in a relationship with an idol until her roommates discover it. (i know that sohyun has a solo room, but for this imagines, sohyun is sharing a dorm with seoah, nien and seoyeon).

"guys remember that i'm out tonight !" says sohyun from the bathroom of her shared dorm, putting on her face the last touch of makeup.

"and where are you going ?" asks seoyeon, leaning against the bathroom door.

"i'm just going out with a friend, nothing else." she simply replies, looking at herself in the mirror while applying her mascara.

her dorm mate hummed in response. "to be honest with you, i'm not convinced by what you said."

"but i'm telling you the truth. we are in day off, i'm allowed to go see a friend that i didn't see in a long time." say sohyun.

"okay, but be careful if you go with your moto."

in fact, sohyun didn't get ready to see a friend, but to see her girlfriend. you met sohyun when you were in high school, and you quickly became friends. and then more than friends. but she has to hide it from her company and her group mates to debut. but every time she has days off, she does all she can to see you, like this night.

sohyun gets out of the bathroom to grab her moto jacket in the entrance of the dorm.

"where are you going ?" asks nien, who was in the living room, helping seoah with her middle school homework.

"i'm going out with a friend. you're going to eat at the restaurant" she replies with a sight, like she's annoyed by the question.

"yeah, but i'm pretty sure she's not seeing a friend. sohyun is too pretty to "just" see a friend!" says seoyeon.

sohyun rolled her eyes "girls please let me go, i'm going to be late" biker. the idol puts her shoes and her moto jacket on, takes her keys and her helmet to go out of the dorm.

sohyun is on her motorcycle, even tho her members and staff don't like it when she rides it. but she thinks it's better and faster than taking public transport or a taxi. on her ride to the restaurant where you are meeting, she's been thinking about you. about all the things she wants to do with you if she wasn't an idol, like holding hands and kissing in public, but it's not possible with her job. but you're okay with that, you know that being an idol was sohyun's biggest dream, and you also know that she doesn't want to ruin her career with a scandal.

you were already in front of the restaurant when you see sohyun arriving on her motorcycle.

"you're so pretty even when we can't see your face" you say, while sohyun turns off her motorcycle. she takes off her black helmet, flips her hair to get them in place.

"even in the dark, when i can barely see you, you're beautiful" she replies while going off her ride to pull you in a hug.

"i've missed you so much" you say, smelling your girlfriend's perfume that you've missed so much.

"let's go inside, i'm craving" sohyun wraps her arm around your shoulder to take you inside the restaurant. you smile at her. seeing the person you love the most after a long time face timing because she didn't have days off, fills your heart with warmness. seeing her smile, feeling her hands around your body can not make you more smiling.

what?" you ask with stars in your eyes.

"you keep smiling since we went into the restaurant, what is it?"

"nothing, i'm just happy to be with you, i missed you so much" you reply, still smiling like a dumb person.

the waiter took you to your reserved table, you sit at it as the waiter gives you the menus.

sohyun and you talked about the things you didn't have time to speak about during your long face time sessions. she talked about the music she wrote and produced for the group, and you talked about your college life, how classes are going and how well you passed your finals.

at the end of the dinner, sohyun insisted on paying, of course, and she also insisted on taking you home. sohyun decided to let her motorcycle at the restaurant parking and walking with you to your apartment.

"i'm so happy for this night" she says, taking your hand in hers. "i think i'm going to see my boss and ask him to have more days off, without telling him why" she chuckles.

"if only you have more days off. you know what? you should ask your boss to have a solo room, you're going to university next year, hun? you should tell him that it would help you to study if you have your own room. like that, you can bring the people you want" you say, shrugging.

sohyun stops, only to look at you, a smile on her face "you know you're the most intelligent person i know, hun?"your girlfriend puts her hand on your waist, and god knows that you love when you do this.

the walk ends when you arrive at your building's door.

"so, thanks for tonight" you say, walking up the few steps that separate the street and the door to the building.

"anything for you" sohyun also walks up the street to stand in front of you. she takes your hands in hers, and looks at you through her sharp and beautiful eyes. you make a step forward and climb on your tippy toes to kiss her cheek, leaving a lipstick stain on it. sohyun doesn't move like she is frozen in place. but when her mind comes back to normal, she leans forward to, slowly and delicately, put her lips on yours. and of course, you kiss her back. it's the first time you ever kissed someone. you can feel the butterflies flying in your stomach and her hands around your neck.

"good night sohyun, i love you, text me when you get to the dorm" you say, walking into the building with a smile, leaving your girlfriend numb.

she stayed for a few minutes in front of the building, tracing her lips with her finger where you kissed her, before making her way to the restaurant parking.

" you're finally back home" says seoyeon like her group mate was gone forever. sohyun puts her helmet in the entrance, before taking her shoes off. "did you have a great dinner with your friend?" says happily nien.

"yeah it was fun. we went to the italian restaurant in gangna-"

"unnie! why do you have lipstick stains all over your cheek and around your lips?" questions seoah, mentioning your lipstick on your girlfriend's face.

"hun?" replies sohyun, confused.

"god i knew it!" says seoyeon, jumping in the air. "she has a girlfriend! she's not a friend!"

[newyorkthegoldenage]

The theater district is bustling with taxis cruising 45th Street hoping for post-theater fares on November 8, 1941. Claudia was playing at the Booth Theater. Other theaters visible in the background include the Plymouth and the Royale.

Photo: Tom Fitzsimmons for the AP

[arcane-vagabond]

Baboons and Flesh Wounds

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: From a young age, the animal kingdom had fascinated you, and maybe that's why you chose to pursue that passion. You quickly became a force within the field, becoming the leading expert on ape social structures, which is how you found yourself on an expedition into the African jungles searching for a troop of gorillas. What you weren't expecting, however, was to run into the local wild man on one of your excursions... (Tarzan!AU)

Trigger Warnings: Language, Suggestive thoughts, Suggestive commentary, Jake being crass, Bradley and Boots in their feelings, Bradley's horny thoughts, caressing of female body parts. I think that's it, but please let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 2.7k

Series Masterlist || Moodboard 1 || Moodboard 2 || Moodboard 3

You had settled into an easy routine over the past two weeks, the first trying to iron out the different kinks. Dr. Kazansky had determined that your ankle would take around four weeks to heal if you kept off of it, and as it turned out, Bradley was more than happy to assist. You could think of only a handful of times that you had been on your feet, the large man appearing first thing in the morning to carry you around camp.

Of course, the boys had given you endless shit about it, Jake being the loudest. The second morning after your accident, Bradley had waited for you outside your tent as you changed, his deep, brown eyes surveying the jungle stoically. He had wordlessly scooped you up in his arms as you hobbled towards the entrance, carrying you effortlessly to where the others were already gathered for breakfast. Javy had raised an eyebrow in question, but said nothing. Bob was too busy going over something with Ice to pay you much mind. Jake had walked over from his tent at the same time and let out a loud snort at the sight of you.

“Is this going to be a regular thing now?” He had snickered, gesturing to where you clung to Bradley. “Is he a taxi service now?”

“I’ve already tried explaining to him that I don’t need him to carry me everywhere,” you scowled at the blond. Bradley placed you gently on the bench before plopping down right next to you, Jake taking up the space on your other side. “He’s just insistent upon doing it, is all.”

“If I didn’t know any better,” he drawled as Javy placed a plate of eggs in front of you, “I’d think you like him carrying you around everywhere.”

You cast him a sideways glance as you shoveled a fork full of egg into your mouth, brow pinched together in indignation.

“I don’t.”

“Sure,” Jake hummed, giving you a knowing look before bumping your shoulder with his. “And jungle man over there also doesn’t get a hard on every time he looks at you.”

“Jake!” You exclaimed, cheeks warming as Javy cackled and Maverick cleared his throat, his own cheeks growing a nice shade of pink at the turn in the conversation. Bob and Ice looked over at the two of you, matching shocked expressions on their faces.

“Don’t be crass,” you hissed at the blond, swatting at his arm. He rolled his eyes, accepting the plate Javy handed him with a quiet thanks.

“Is it really being crass if I’m telling the truth?”

“Yes,” you snapped, cognizant of the fact Bradley had been inching closer to you as each moment passed. Jake rolled his eyes at you, but said nothing more.

The next couple of days had you struggling to figure out how to do various chores around the camp. Cooking was easy enough until you needed to get up and grab something.

The first time you had stood up, Bradley’s head had shot up from where he was flipping through one of the sketchbooks Ice had laying about. His honey-colored eyes watched you intently as a frown tugged on his lips, standing when you made to move.

“No,” he said, pushing down on your shoulders gently.

“Bradley, I have to-”

“No,” he said again, more firmly this time, eyes intense and brows pinched. “Hurt.”

“I’m not so hurt that I can’t walk the three feet to grab a spoon,” you scowled at him. He raised an eyebrow at you, turning and walking the few, short steps across the eating area to pluck a spoon out of the container and bringing it to you. You accepted it with a huff, not missing the satisfied smirk that appeared on his face at the small victory.

Laundry was done down by the river, an ever watchful Bradley sitting on one of the stones beside you as you scrubbed the various articles of clothing. He watched you carefully, an unreadable expression on his face as you worked through your task.

After the first half hour, you began to grow increasingly self conscious once you realized he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for more than a couple of seconds at a time the entire time you two had sat there.

“Aren’t you bored?” You asked him, wrinkling your nose. “I mean, it can’t be fun to just sit here and watch me do all this. Wouldn’t you prefer to help Mav or Ice or someone else? I’m sure they’re having much more fun than we are.”

Bradley’s gaze hardened in confusion. Shaking his head, he shifted slightly, leaning closer towards you.

“Like being with you,” he murmured, the hint of a smile on his lips as he looked at you. The heat on your cheeks had nothing to do with the sweltering jungle heat, and you quickly averted your gaze, pretending to inspect a stain on one of Javy’s shirts. Your eyes darted up when Bradley crept towards you, and for a moment, you were reminded that this man was raised by apes, not humans. His leg stretched out to rest beside you, the rest of him slinking after until he crouched right in front of you, his nose almost brushing yours.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you swallowed thickly as he reached a hand up to brush his fingers across your cheek. His eyes darted down, lingering on your lips as they parted. A shiver ran up your spine as his fingers trailed down, running over your bottom lip, and the intense look in his eye became hungry as you let out a quiet gasp. He let his fingers linger for a second before pulling them away and towards a strand of hair that hung in your face. Slowly, he pushed it back behind your ear, letting his palm cradle your jaw as the two of you sat silently watching each other.

The sound of jungle leaves rustling broke the two of you out of your trance, and Bradley let out a growl as he positioned himself in front of you, glaring intensely at the spot where the noise was coming from.

“Hey, you two!” Maverick called, coming into view with a smile. Bradley immediately relaxed back into his spot beside you, but the frown remained. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was annoyed. You cleared your throat, your head still clouded from the intensity of the prior moment.

“Hey, Mav,” you greeted, attempting a smile that you were sure came out as more of a grimace. “What brings you by?”

“Oh nothing,” he grinned. “Just wanted to see if you needed any help with the laundry. It’s very kind of you to offer to do it while you heal up. I know it’s not the greatest chore.”

“I want to feel useful,” you offered, shrugging.

“Well, nevertheless, it’s appreciated,” Mav smiled. “Do you need any help carrying everything back?”

“No,” Bradley snapped, leveling Mav with a glare. The older man looked a little taken aback by the ferocity of Bradley’s answer, but recovered quickly, shooting you a brief, knowing look.

“I see,” he hummed, trying and failing to hide his smirk. “Well, if the two of you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

And with that, he turned on his heel and headed back towards the camp. Once he was out of sight, Bradley huffed, turning back to look at you.

“What’s got you so grumpy?” you asked him, chuckling slightly. Bradley didn’t answer, instead, reaching out to twirl a strand of your hair in between his fingers, bringing it up to his nose and taking a long, deep inhale before giving you another heavy look. Your cheeks heated up once more before you ducked your head down to start the process of scrubbing the laundry once again. You tried not to think about how Bradley’s muscles had bulged when he was crouched in front of you or how his intense look made your thighs clench together.

You were sitting in one of the research tents a week later, transcribing some notes for Dr. Kazansky the following week, having begged the older man for ways to be of use given you were slowly losing your mind doing all of the mundane chores. Bradley was perched in a chair next to you, flipping through the rough sketches Bob had made of some of the baboons and wrinkling his nose.

“What’s that face for?” You giggled, glancing over at him. Bradley huffed and shook his head, giving you a solemn look.

“Baboons are annoying.”

You burst into a fit of giggles, resting your chin on the palm of your hand as you looked at him fully. Bradley’s gaze softened as he listened to you laugh, a tinge of pink coating his cheeks.

“Yeah?” You asked him. “How so?”

Bradley straightened up in his seat, rolling his eyes as he thought back to the countless run-ins he’s had with the creatures.

“They scream a lot,” he scowled, lips pursed as he gives you a serious look. “And they steal my food sometimes. It’s hard to catch them because they climb the trees so fast.”

You had quickly grown used to how articulate Bradley actually was over the course of the last week and a half. You supposed it was no surprise considering he’d had ten years of practice, but even Tom had seemed surprised when he walked in on Bradley telling you a story one day, the younger man animatedly telling you a story about a trick he played on one of the younger members of the gorilla troop he lived with. Now you wondered if the older two men even knew if Bradley could string together more than a couple of short sentences.

His sentences could still be choppy at times and his answers short and direct, sure, but the more you showed interest in what he had to say, the more he found himself opening up and saying more. Bradley found that he liked the way you reacted to what he had to say, and he tried to practice at night once he knew you were asleep. He found himself visiting with Maverick and Tom more, asking them questions about different words for different feelings and ideas. He wasn’t sure why, but he wanted you to know him, to know what he thought about things and how he felt about the world. Maybe it was because he wanted to know those things about you too and to talk about them with you.

“They are pretty fast, huh?” You asked, leaning forward a little more, unknowingly pushing your breasts together and exaggerating your cleavage. Bradley’s eyes flickered down, and he felt a familiar stirring in his groin. He found that this feeling also happened quite frequently around you, and it was often the simplest of things that set it off. It happened when he watched you bend over and dry your hair after a bath one day. It happened when you stretched after sitting hunched over too long, your back arching as you raised your arms over your head. It happened sometimes when you looked at him through your lashes, your bottom lip captured between your teeth.

He shifted in his seat, unable to tear his eyes away from your chest. He felt an overwhelming need to touch them, to touch you. He often found himself thinking of you. How good you smelled. How soft you were. He wanted to touch you, to mark you as his.

The troop leader, Mutubo Tom had named him, had several offspring, so Bradley wasn’t unfamiliar with the concept of mating, or sex as Tom and Maverick called it. However, he wasn’t so sure that his family experienced what he was feeling, at least to this extent. Without thinking, Bradley reached out, running his fingertips over the exposed skin, his shorts growing tighter as he felt the soft, warm skin.

You sucked in a breath, your cheeks heating and eyes going wide as Bradley caressed you. His gaze was intense as he touched you, and you felt a shiver run up your spine when his brown eyes darted up to meet your own. The brown was practically swallowed by black, and you had to muster all of your self control to not throw yourself at him then and there.

“I should, um,” you stuttered after a second, “I should go see if Maverick has started dinner yet.”

You stood abruptly, Bradley following suit. He moved to pick you up, but you took a step back, shaking your head.

“No, I,” you sucked in a breath, “it’s not that far. I think I’ll try walking there.”

Bradley frowned at you, but before he could argue, you beelined out of the tent and into the open air. It was unprofessional to be acting this way, especially with someone who didn’t understand the intricacies of human relationships.

The end of the week brought movie night, and you were giddy when you remembered that it was your turn to pick. Jake and Javy groaned loudly when they saw your choice. You ignored them, taking a seat on one of the couches Maverick and Tom had managed to snag while in the city not too terribly long ago. Bradley immediately sat next to you, his thigh pressed against yours, filling you with an odd sense of comfort.

“What are we watching?” Bob asked as he entered the tent.

“The Princess Bride,” you grinned as Jake plopped down on your other side.

“You couldn’t have picked anything with explosions?” He asked, wrinkling his nose at you in mock disgust. You rolled your eyes, shoving him lightly.

“The Princess Bride is a classic,” you argued. “Don’t be such a guy.”

“I think the Princess Bride is great,” Bob offered, earning dual eye rolls from both Javy and Jake.

“You would,” Jake threw back at the bespectacled man with a grin.

“Explosions and gun fights does not a movie make,” Bob scowled. “It’s good to mix it up every now and then.”

“Exactly!” You exclaimed. “I had to sit through so many hours of Fast and Furious of all things. The least you can do is sit quietly through my movie.”

“Hey, do not knock the Fast and the Furious,” Javy warned, raising his pointer finger at you with a serious look. You rolled your eyes once more but let out a giggle.

“I’ll stop knocking the Fast and the Furious when the movies start being good,” you grinned.

“So, never,” Bob snorted, earning scowls from the other two men. Before the argument could continue, both Maverick and Tom strolled into the tent.

“Oh, The Princess Bride,” Mav grinned, plopping down onto the other couch, Tom not too far behind. “One of my favorites!”

Once everyone was settled, you started the movie, absentmindedly curling into Bradley’s side more and more as the minutes stretched on. Bradley’s fingers came up to play with the strands of your hair, unknowingly lulling you into a deep sleep.

Bradley knew the second you fell asleep, and he smiled softly as he listened to your breathing even out as you relaxed against him. He liked this. He liked how safe you felt with him and how at ease you made him feel. Bradley was somewhat paying attention to scenes in front of him, lost in thought as he tried to understand what was going on. There was one thing that stood out to him, though. A word, actually. He had heard Maverick and Tom say it to each other on rare occasions, but Bradley had never given it much thought before he met you. But, when he saw the two characters on the screen look at each other and say that word, he felt that it might be important. That maybe he should ask them what it meant. You stirred against him, and Bradley felt an ache in his chest as he looked down at your sleeping form. His curiosity could wait for now, he thought. He’d make sure to ask Tom and Maverick what it meant later. For now, he just wanted to stay by your side.

A/N: Reminder to everyone that I am redoing my tag lists! If you haven't added yourself to the new one, please do so! I will also not tag you if you do not have an age listed on your blog or your blog is blank, so if you sign up for the tag list, please make sure you add your age and fill in your blog! As always, comments and reblogs are appreciated. You can also find my works on AO3 under arcane_vagabond. If you enjoy my writing, try checking out some of my other series as well and/or leave me a tip if you feel compelled to do so!

[captain-price-unofficially]

P-51D Mustangs of the 457th Fighter Squadron, 506th Fighter Group which are assigned to the northern airfield located on Iwo Jima, seen taxiing to the runway during preparations for a combat mission over the Japanese home islands in 1945.

I would like to point out that on the plane nearest the camera on the vertical stabilizer you can see the antenna of the AN-APS-13 tail warning radar.

[marisatomay]

whyyy do we need taxi driver for people who like comic books? breaking bad for people who like comic books? snotty meta commentary for people who like comic books? must everything be presented through a digestible lense for enjoyment nowadays??????

And it’s like … the things being aped ARE incredibly watchable and enjoyable media already

[auxiliarydetective]

AP-01: Project Apocalypse

ch. 01: House of Memories

AP-01 Masterlist

This fic is part of the Academy Projects series, a full rewrite of The Umbrella Academy with the addition of an original character, Kassandra Hargreeves. Throughout the story, you'll stumble across a few songs. This is supposed to make the fic feel as much like the show as possible, so I recommend you don't skip them.

Warnings: Canon-typical issues, death, disappearance

Rain battered against the window of the taxi as Kassandra let herself be driven along the familiar street leading towards the Academy. She was cradling a thermos of strong black tea, her knuckles turning white beneath her black gloves. Five hours of sleep and a racing mind weren’t exactly the best state to be in for what had to be awaiting her back at that place. Waiting back there was her past and most likely her siblings. At least some of them. And knowing them, it would be pure chaos from the moment they spent more than ten minutes in the same room. Hopefully, they could at least keep from tearing each other apart for the duration of the funeral.

Kassandra was pulled from her own mind when the taxi stopped in front of the Academy, that old-timey facade looking so out of place among the other houses along the road. A cast iron fence was stretched out atop the low wall in front of the entrance, and Kassandra was surprised to find the double gate open. Absent-mindedly, she paid the driver and heaved her suitcase out of the car. Then, she was alone, staring up at the wooden doors with the glass panels, the ever-present umbrella logo set into them like a mosaic. Her legs stiff and clumsy, she walked up to the entrance, letting her fingers run along the cold iron gate. Just before the door, she completely froze, debating what to do. Finally, she rang the doorbell.

A few seconds went by, seconds that felt like hours. Kassandra felt her blood run cold, her breath growing shallow. Then, the door opened, and she was looking into the clean blue eyes of Grace.

“Kassandra, dear!”

“Hi, Mom.” she replied, hesitant to say anything else.

“Welcome home. How was the mission?”

… Mission?

“... Great. Thanks for asking.”

“Well, come in, you’ll get soaking wet out there. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold…”

Grace stepped aside and Kassandra entered, trying to make sense of everything. Every single detail about the Academy still looked the same. The entrance hall with the grand staircase straight ahead and the drawing room to the left, the smaller stairs and the kitchen to the left… And of course, Grace looked the same too. That fact had only surprised Kassandra for a moment before her rational mind had taken back the reins. Grace, the unofficial mother of the Hargreeves siblings, was a robot and as such didn’t age. It was as comforting as it was unsettling. There was something else too, but Kassandra couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Why don’t you give me your coat?” Grace suggested with a calm smile. “I’ll take your things up to your room. We left it in the same condition as the day you left.”

“Thank you, Mom,” Kassandra replied as she slipped out of her coat. Do you need help with breakfast? Lunch?”

“No, don’t worry, dear. But if you want to join me, I’ll happily enjoy your company.”

Grace gently ran her hand through Kassandra’s hair, then took the suitcase and the coat and headed towards the smaller staircase. With a sigh, Kassandra looked around, her feet instinctively taking her into the drawing room.

There he was, greeting her from over the mantelpiece. A portrait of Five from when he was thirteen, hung up after he had disappeared. The portrait was very life-like, it was true, like all the paintings of the family to be found inside the house. It even featured Five’s signature smugness, but the smile wasn’t the same. In the picture, his eyes were half-closed and his lips were curved upwards on one side but downwards on the other, giving his expression a dignity he had never possessed.

“You always had a certain attachment to that portrait, Miss Kassandra.”

Kassandra turned around, a slight chuckle escaping her lips. Pogo was walking towards her, his hair and fur turning grey. Anyone else would find it odd to have a chimpanzee as master of the house, but not the Umbrella Academy. Here, it was widely known that Pogo was reliable and wise, and to Kassandra he was maybe one of the kindest people she had ever met.

“He never smiled like that,” she remarked, nodding at the portrait over the mantelpiece. “Five wasn’t smug like that, he was… playful. That isn’t the right word but you know what I mean, right?”

“I do,” Pogo confirmed. “He was always hard to put into a box.”

“Has he come back? Any sign at all?”

“No, none.”

“Then it’s 16 years, 4 months and 14 days,” Kassandra sighed.

“That’s correct. Your father insisted I keep track, but I figured you would do the same,” Pogo remarked with a smile. “You always were close.

Kassandra couldn’t help but smile as well, imagining the painting with the same sharp liveliness her brother had had. “After he disappeared, I’d sneak down into the kitchen and make him a sandwich like he used to do for himself. Peanut butter and marshmallows, I still can’t believe he liked those. Then, on my way back up, I’d turn the chandelier on. I can’t even count the times I was almost caught.”

“I know. And when you left, you requested that Vanya would continue the tradition for you.”

“... Did she?”

“Every night. And when she left, she requested I do the same. I… couldn’t honor her request to its full extent, but I did keep the lights on.”

With a deep sigh, Kassandra felt some of the tension fall off her shoulders, and she let out a little laugh, though she didn’t tell Pogo why. Instead, she let him hug her, feeling like a child again. It was nice knowing that, throughout all these years, someone had always had her back.

“Welcome home.”

Kassandra swallowed. This was home, wasn’t it? As much as she tried to deny it, she had really missed this place. But along with that modicum of comfort, a realization crept upon here that there were more serious matters she had to face.

“Speaking of which…” she said as she eased away from Pogo, “Are any of the others home?”

“Master Luther returned from his mission three hours ago, Master Diego snuck in through a window early in the morning, I found Master Klaus sleeping on the doorstep when I went to unlock the door at seven, and Miss Allison arrived about half an hour ago. She’s the only one besides yourself who announced herself beforehand.”

“Somehow, that’s not very surprising.”

“Indeed it isn’t. I assume they’re all in their rooms by now, but I suggest you don’t wake up Master Luther. He hasn’t had the chance to sleep.”

“Alright, thank you Pogo. If you need any help, let me know, okay? Organizing the funeral or…”

“I don’t think there will be much to organize. But thank you, Miss Kassandra.”

With a nod and a last nod at Five’s painting, Kassandra left the drawing room, heading up the staircase. Her heels clacked on the hardwood stairs, a sound she had only known from Grace’s heels. Sir Reginald had banned high-heeled shoes for the children, deeming them too impractical for their training. Not that he had allowed them to be out of uniform anyways. Before long, Kassandra could hear voices flooding into her mind.

Finally, she found herself in the hallway along which her and her siblings’ rooms lined up, her heart pounding in her chest. Still, instead of heading to her own room, which was closest to the stairs, she walked on to the end of the hallway, resolving to quietly knock on Allison’s door. After all, Luther’s room was right next to it and she didn’t want to disturb him. Instinctively, her hands moved behind her back, neatly cupped. The door clicked and Allison opened it, a hint of a smile on her face.

“Kass!” she gasped. “The moment I saw Mom carrying that princess coat, I knew it was you.”

Immediately, Kassandra let out a chuckle. “What, you think Vanya wouldn’t wear a coat like that?”

“To be honest, I don’t think she’ll come,” Allison commented. “C’mon, are you gonna keep standing in the hallway?”

The two of them retreated into Allison’s room, a teenage girl’s paradise. Posters of a young Allison from teen magazines and some of the Academy lined the pink walls, a matching vanity table with a row of lights and tons of jewelry and makeup in one corner, a purple feather boa on a clothes hook on the door… It was just like Kassandra remembered it.

“Spooky, isn’t it?” Allison murmured. “Everything’s the same.”

“Yeah, exactly my thoughts,” Kassandra hummed. “I’d almost think you’re the mind-reading one.”

Allison let out a little sigh at those words, her eyes sinking to the floor before getting caught on Kassandra’s gloves.

“Still the same issue?” she asked.

Kassandra nodded.

“Y’know, I was kinda hoping you would grow out of it. I know it’s dumb but—”

“No, I understand. I’ve been thinking the same thing. That my powers would fade over time. But that’s just not how it works.”

“And you still can’t…”

“No,” Kassandra mumbled. Then, her lips curled in a compassionate smile. “But Allison, that was, what, twenty-five years ago? We were practically toddlers. I’ve had that handicap practically all my life and, by now, I’ve really gotten used to it. It’s not even an issue anymore now that our lives don’t depend on my ability as a spy anymore.”

“We all adjusted, didn’t we?” Allison reminisced. Then, she broke out into laughter. “Remember that one time we played charades in the middle of the mission and almost got caught?”

Kassandra cracked up too, looking out of the window as memories came over. “I was so stressed,” she scoffed, “I was desperately trying to make you understand, and you were having a game night! Looking back at it though, it was pretty funny. I probably looked like an idiot.”

“We all looked like idiots and if Dad had found out, he would’ve been really mad, but I don’t think I ever had that much fun on a mission.”

“I never thought I’d hear the words ‘fun’ and ‘mission’ in the same sentence,” Kassandra said, shaking her head.

“Me neither, but it’s true.”

They stood in silence for a bit, neither quite knowing what to say.

“Hey…” Allison finally mumbled. “Thanks for calling about Claire. I know I never called back but… I really appreciate it. I just didn’t know what to say.”

“How is she?” Kassandra asked. “How’s the case?”

“Claire is fine. As for the case… I’m working on it.”

Kassandra nodded. “I’m sure things will turn out alright.”

With that topic, the conversation died out, and Kassandra decided to retreat to her own room. Grace had placed her suitcase neatly at the foot end of the bed - a queen-sized one, which her siblings had always been jealous of. Her closet was closed, her mirror covered in lace, her shelf organized the way it had been in 2006. But it was her desk that attracted her.

Slowly and carefully, she closed her door with a quiet click, then pulled back her chair and sat down, letting her eyes wander across the table’s surface. Right in front of her, on the writing mat, were her journal and pen, looking untouched. Crowding the space around the mat like a watching audience were a pencil holder, pencil case, organizer, stationery, and a set of picture frames, showing various publicity photos. But in a drawer under the desk, one usually meant for keeping files, the wirework for which she had asked Diego to take out, slept her personal treasure. It was a box with an old lock, dozens upon dozens of polaroids hidden inside, despite her father’s attempts to take the camera away from her. Carefully, Kassandra lifted the treasure box out of its hiding space, running her fingers along the smooth wooden surface. She opened a button on her blouse and tugged at a chain beneath the collar, revealing the small key to the box’s lock from under her clothes. But with the keychain in hand, she paused. Pressing her lips together, she put the box back in the drawer and pushed it shut, then hid the key away again and buttoned her blouse back up. She couldn’t do it. Not yet.

Instead, she headed out of her room, closing the door behind her. There was someone she needed to see first, and she knew just where to find him.

General Taglist: @starcrossedjedis @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene @bravelittleflower @box-of-bats - let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

Academy Projects Taglist: @therantsofawriterrr @come-along-pond @the-wyvern-institute @cherrybombgigi

[vintage-every-day]

Clark Gables first screen test was made by director Mervyn LeRoy for Warner Bros. When studio head Jack L. Warner and production chief Darryl F. Zanuck saw the test they were furious at LeRoy for wasting their money on that big "ape" with those "huge floppy taxi-cab ears".

Years later when Gable made it big, LeRoy used to tease Warner and say, "How would you like to have him and those huge floppy ears now?".

[joespinell]

watching dr strangelove with people who’ve never seen it before is actually so insane and funny because you hold the key to this movie. peter sellers plays three characters in this? yeah just watch. EVERYONE is doomed. eventually whenever slim pickens rides the bomb the whole room goes ape it’s like the mohawk reveal in taxi driver

[clarktooncrossing]

Didn't Wanna Feel Old in 2023? Sucks to be You!

Happy 2023 everybody! It's a new year meaning I've got new goals to meet. Goals like finally publishing something, setting up commissions so people can pay me to do what I love, cross-posting between my account here and on deviantART, summoning more kaijus just so they can play elaborate games of poker, y'know, all that good stuff. It also means the return of my 'list of things that have reached a milestone anniversary' list. However, it seems like I've been doing this for so long that these lists have in fact reached their own milestone. From what I could tell, this is the fifth year of my doing this, at least on deviantART. If that doesn't make you feel right from the gate, I present the following:

If I don't mention this my buddy Volts48 won't let me rest; the highly influential sci-fi movie Metropolis turns 100 years old this year, meaning it is now in the public domain. I plan to take full advantage of this fact later, but for now I have the rest of this list to get to...

Anything from 1973 turns 50 years old this year. This includes...

Schoolhouse Rock! (Jan 6th)

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (June 13th)

Robin Hood (yes, the version with the fox) (Nov 18th)

Pirates of the Caribbean (Magic Kingdom) (December 15th)

Charlotte's Web (the animated movie, not the book) (March 1st)

Godzilla vs Megalon (March 17th)

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (April 5th)

Soylent Green (May 9th)

The Exorcist (December 26th)

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (November 20th)

The Young and the Restless (March 26th)

Star Trek: The Animated Series (Sept 8th)

Super Friends (Sept 8th)

Asteroid (Space Race) (July 16th)

The Night Gwen Stacy Died (MARVEL) (June - July 1973)

'We’re an American Band' by Grand Funk Railroad

'Free Bird' by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album (Oct 5th)

Anything from 1978 turns 45 years old this year. This includes...

Alien (May 25th)

The Cat from Outer Space (June 9th)

The Star Wars Holiday Special (Nov 17th)

The Small One (Dec 16th)

Jaws 2 (June 16th)

Grease (July 8th)

Revenge of the Pink Panther (July 13th)

Animal House (July 28th)

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (Oct 8th)

Halloween (Oct 25th)

Watership Down (Nov 1st)

The Lord of the Rings (animated version) (Nov 15th)

Superman: The Movie (Dec 15th)

Lupin the Third: The Secret of Mamo (Dec 16th)

Fantasy Island (Jan 14th)

The Incredible Hulk (TV series) (March 10th)

The Amazing Spider-Man (TV series) (April 15th)

Hanna Barbera's Godzilla (Sept 9th)

Yogi's Space Race (Sept 9th)

Taxi (Sept 12th)

WKRP in Cincinnati (Sept 18th)

Space Invaders (April 1st)

Anything from 1983 turns 40 years old this year. This includes...

Mickey Mouse Splashdance

Journey into Imagination (EPCOT) (March 5th)

Winnie the Pooh and A Day for Eeyore (March 26th)

Tokyo Disneyland (April 15th)

They Disney Channel (Rest in Peace) (April 18th)

Welcome to Pooh Corner (April 18th)

Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi (May 25th)

Pinocchio's Daring Journey (Disneyland) (May 25th)

Sorcerer's Apprentice (Atari 2600) (Aug 5th)

Horizons (EPCOT) (Oct 1st)

Mickey's Christmas Carol (Dec 16th)

The first annual Walt Disney World Christmas Day parade (Dec 25th)

Superman III (June 17th)

Jaws 3-D (July 22nd)

National Lampoon's Vacation (July 29th)

Risky Business (Aug 5th)

Cujo (August 12th)

A Christmas Story (Nov 18th)

Scarface (Dec 9th)

Fraggle Rock (Jan 10th)

A-Team (Jan 23rd)

Reading Rainbow (July 11th)

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (Sept 5th)

Alvin and the Chipmunks (Sept 17th)

Cheers (Sept 30th)

The Video Game Crash of 1983

Mirage Studios (Sept 30th)

DC acquires Blue Beetle, Captain Atom, and The Question

'Let's Dance' by David Bowie

'Mr. Roboto' by Styx

The My Little Pony franchises as a whole

Anything from 1988 turns 35 years old this year. This includes...

Good Morning Vietnam (Jan 15th)

The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (Jan 17th)

IllumiNations (EPCOT) (Jan 20th)

Totally Minnie (Feb 25th)

Willow (May 20th)

Big (June 3rd)

Norway (EPCOT) (June 3rd)

Mickey's Birthdayland (Magic Kingdom) (June 18th)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (June 21st)

Die Hard (July 22nd)

Language Arts Through Imagination starring Figment (he's a dragon) (Sept 8th)

Oliver and Company (Nov 18th)

Tin Toy (Dec 30th)

Beetlejuice (March 30th)

Return of the Killer Tomatoes (April 22nd)

Rambo III (May 25h)

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (May 27th)

My Neighbor Totoro (July 13th)

Mac & Me (Aug 12th)

Scooby-Doo! and the Reluctant Werewolf (Sept 14th)

Akira (Oct 19th)

They Live (Nov 14th)

The Land Before Time (Nov 18th)

Scrooged (Nov 23rd)

Michael Jackson's Moonwalker (Nov 29th)

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (Dec 2nd)

Twins (Dec 9th)

Count Duckula (Feb 6th)

Denver, the Last Dinosaur (April 1st)

A Pup Named Scooby-Doo (Sept 10th)

Alf Tales (Sept 10th)

Garfield and Friends (Sept 17th)

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Freddy's Nightmares (Oct 8th)

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Nov 24th)

Final Fantasy II (Dec 17th)

Mega Man 2 (Dec 24th)

Super Mario Bros. 2 and 3

Nintendo Power

The Killing Joke by Alan Moore

Batman: A Death in the Family (this was not Batman's year)

'Don't Worry Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin

'It Takes Two by Rob Base' and DJ EZ Rock

'Parents Just Don't Understand' by Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff

'Nothin' But a Good Time' by Poison

'Cult of Personality' by Living Colour

Anything from 1993 turns 30 years old this year. This includes...

Homeward Bound: An Incredible Journey (Feb 3rd)

Roger Rabbit in Trail Mix-Up (March 12th)

The Sandlot (April 7th)

Super Mario Bros, the unfortunate film (May 28th)

Hocus Pocus (July 16th)

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (July 28th)

Bill Nye the Science Guy (Sept 10th)

Boy Meets World (Sept 24th)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (Oct 29th)

Mrs. Doubtfire (Nov 2nd)

Disney's Sing-A-Long Songs: The 12 Days of Christmas (Dec 1993)

Tombstone (Dec 25th)

Groundhog Day (Feb 12th)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (March 19th)

Jurassic Park (June 11th)

Last Action Hero (June 13th)

Free Willy (July 16th)

Coneheads (July 23rd)

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (Aug 13th)

The Thief and the Cobbler (Aug 25th)

Demolition Man (Oct 8th)

Addams Family Values (Nov 19th)

We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story (Nov 24th)

Schindler's List (Dec 15th)

Wallace & Gromit in The Wrong Trousers (Dec 17th)

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (Dec 25th)

Beavis and Butt-Head (March 8th)

The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. (Aug 27th)

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (Aug 28th)

Late Show with David Letterman (Aug 30th)

The X-Files (Sept 10th)

Legends of the Hidden Temple (Sept 11th)

Animaniacs (Sept 13th)

Late Night with Conan O'Brien (Sep 13th)

Fraiser (Sept 16th)

Rocko's Modern Life (Sept 18th)

The Atari Jaguar

DOOM

Sam and Max: Hit the Road

Batman: Knightfall by Alan Grant

'I'll Do Anything For Love' by Meatloaf

'Shoop' by Salt-n-Peppa (Deadpool's favorite!)

Anything from 1998 turns 25 years old this year. This includes...

Movie Surfers (Jan 1st)

Beauty and the Beast: Belle's Magical World (Feb 17th)

PB&J Otter (March 15th)

The Enchanted Tiki Room (Under New Management) (April 5th)

Toon Disney (April 18th)

Disney's Animal Kingdom (April 22nd)

Mulan (July 22nd)

The Parent Trap (remake) (July 29th)

Hercules: The Series (Aug 31st)

Out of the Box (Oct 7th)

Halloweentown (Oct 17th)

The Lion King II: Simba's Pride (Oct 27th)

Rollie Pollie Ollie (Nov 6th)

A Bug's Life (Nov 24th)

Mighty Joe Young (Dec 25th)

Elmopalooza (Feb 20th)

The Big Lebowski (March 16th)

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (May 19th)

The unfortunate American Godzilla film (May 20th) and it's surprisingly good TV follow up (Sept 12th)

The Truman Show (June 5th)

Saving Private Ryan (July 24th)

Blade (Aug 19th)

Rush Hour (Sept 18th)

Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (Sept 22nd)

Antz (Oct 2nd)

The Rugrats Movie (Nov 20th)

The Prince of Egypt (Dec 16th)

Power Rangers in Space (Feb 6th)

CatDog (April 4th)

Sex and the City (June 6th)

Whose Line Is It Anyway? (Aug 5th)

That 70s Show (Aug 23rd)

The Wild Thornberrys (Sept 1st)

Will & Grace (Sept 21st)

The Powerpuff Girls (Nov 18th)

Banjo Kazooie (June 29th)

Spyro the Dragon (Sept 19th)

Half Life (Nov 19th)

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (Nov 21st)

The Sega Dreamcast

Gameboy Color

Spider-Girl (Feb 1998) - Fitting, considering she makes her cinematic debut this year in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing' by Aerosmith from the soundtrack for Armageddon

'...Baby One More Time' by Brittney Spears

Anything from 2003 turns 20 years old this year. This includes...

That's So Raven (Jan 17th)

The Jungle Book 2 (Feb 14th)

Atlantis: Milo's Return (Feb 25th)

Piglet's Big Movie (March 21st)

Holes (April 18th)

The Lizzie McGuire Movie (May 2nd)

X2 (May 2nd)

Finding Nemo (May 30th)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (July 9th)

The Simpsons: Hit & Run (Sept 16th)

Lilo & Stitch! The Series (Sept 20th)

Mickey's PhilharMagic (Magic Kingdom) (Oct 8th)

Brother Bear (Nov 1st)

Star Wars: Clone Wars (Tartakovsky) (Nov 7th)

The Haunted Mansion (movie) (Nov 26th)

Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time (Nov 28th)

Destino (Dec 19th)

Kangaroo Jack (January 17th)

Daredevil (movie) (Feb 14th)

Charlotte's Web 2: Wilbur's Great Adventure (March 18th)

Daddy Day Care (May 4th)

Matrix Reloaded (May 16th) and Revolutions (Oct 27th)

Bruce Almighty (May 23rd)

Rugrats Go Wild (June 13th)

Ang Lee's Hulk (June 17th)

The Room (June 27th)

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (July 2nd)

Freddy vs Jason (Aug 13th)

Kill Bill: Volume 1 (Oct 10th)

Elf (Nov 7th)

The Cat in the Hat (movie) (Nov 8th)

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (Nov 9th)

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Dec 17th)

Big Fish (Dec 25th)

Mythbusters (Jan 23rd)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (KidsWB animated series) (Feb 8th)

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (Feb 15th)

Red vs Blue (April 1st)

All Grown Up! (April 12th)

Spider-Man: The New Animated Series (July 11th)

Teen Titans (July 19th)

My Life as a Teenage Robot (Aug 1st)

Clifford's Puppy Days (Sept 1st)

Devil May Cry 2 (Jan 25th)

Postal 2 (April 14th)

Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness (June 20th)

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (July 5th)

Jak II (Oct 14th)

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne (Oct 14th)

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (Oct 28th)

SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom (Oct 29th)

Call of Duty (Oct 29th)

Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando (Nov 11th)

Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc

Invincible (Image) (Jan 2003)

JLA/Avengers (Sept 2003)

The Walking Dead (Image) (Oct 2003)

'Where is the Love?' by Black Eyed Peas

Anything from 2008 turns 15 years old this year. This includes...

Phineas and Ferb (Feb 1st)

Horton Hears a Who! (movie) (March 3rd)

Iron Man (May 2nd), The Incredible Hulk (June 13th), and the birth of the MCU

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 22nd)

Toy Story Mania! (Hollywood Studios) (June 17th)

WALL-E (aka the greatest movie ever!) (June 27th)

Star Wars: Clone Wars (movie) (Aug 10th)

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Sept 16th)

High School Musical 3: Senior Year (Oct 24th)

Tinker Bell (Oct 28th)

BURN-E (Nov 18th)

Bolt (Nov 21st)

A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa (Dec 17th)

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie (Jan 11th)

Rambo (Jan 24th)

Kung Fu Panda (June 6th)

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11th)

The Dark Knight (July 18th)

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Aug 1st)

Ponyo (Aug 14th)

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (Nov 7th)

Twilight (Nov 21) - I'M VENGEANCE!

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Jan 13th)

Breaking Bad (Jan 20th)

Power Rangers Jungle Fury (Feb 18th)

Spectacular Spider-Man (the best incarnation of the wall-crawler) (March 8th)

Ben 10: Alien Force (April 8th)

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack (June 5th)

The Penguins of Madagascar (Nov 28th)

Super Smash Bros Brawl (Jan 31st)

God of War: Chains of Olympus (March 4th)

Dead Space (Oct 13th)

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (Oct 21st)

Little Big Planet (Oct 27th)

Fallout 3 (Oct 28th)

Mirror's Edge (Nov 11th)

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (Nov 16th)

Gears of War 2 (Nov 7th)

Left 4 Dead (Nov 17th)

Sonic Unleashed (Nov 18th)

Grand Theft Auto IV (Dec 2nd)

Lego Batman and Indiana Jones

Final Crisis (May 2008)

Marvel Apes (Oct - Nov 2008)

'I Kissed a Girl' and 'Hot n Cold' by Katty Perry

'Viva la Vida' by Coldplay

'So What?' by P!NK

Anything from 2013 turns 10 years old this year. This includes...

Sofia the First (Jan 11th)

Aliens: Colonial Marines (Feb 12th)

Oz, the Great and Powerful (March 8th)

Iron Man 3 (May 3rd)

Mystic Point (Hong Kong Disneyland) (May 17th)

Monsters University (June 21st)

Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel (Aug 16th)

Disney Infinity (Aug 18th)

Castle of Illusion starring Mickey Mouse (Sep 2nd)

Toy Story of Terror! (Oct 16th)

Thor: The Dark World (Nov 8th)

Frozen (Nov 27th)

The current run of Mickey Mouse cartoons (Nov 29th)

Saving Mr. Banks (Dec 20th)

Texas Chainsaw 3D (Jan 4th)

Evil Dead (remake) (April 5th)

The Purge (June 7th)

Man of Steel (June 14th)

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls (June 16th)

Despicable Me 2 (July 3rd)

Pacific Rim (July 12th)

Turbo (July 17th)

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (Sept 27th)

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (Nov 22nd)

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Dec 13th)

Teen Titans Go! (April 23rd) - HOW IS THIS STILL ON THE AIR!?!?!?

Orange Is the New Black (July 11th)

PAW Patrol (Aug 12th)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Sept 17th)

Rick and Morty (Dec 2nd)

Tomb Raider (March 5th)

God of War: Ascension (March 12th)

BioShock Infinite (March 26th)

Injustice: Gods Among Us (April 16th)

The Last of Us (June 14th)

Deadpool (video game) (June 25th)

Rayman Legends (Aug 29th)

Grand Theft Auto V (Sept 17th)

The Stanley Parable (Oct 17th)

Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag (Oct 29th)

'Get Lucky' by Daft Punk and Pharrell Williams

'My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)' by Fall Out Boy

'Roar' by Katy Perry

'Wagon Wheel' by Darius Ruckus

'Wrecking Ball' by Miley Cyrus

'Applause' by Lady Gaga'

'What Does the Fox Say?' by Ylvis

'Happy' by Pharrell Williams

And with all that said, I hope you all have a happy new year!

Did I miss any milestones? If I did, feel free to let me know in the comments. For now though, MAY THE GLASSES BE WITH YOU!

[gluion]

familiarity (it’s all sticky) ➵ lee seokmin

peter parker!lee seokmin x spiderman!reader

you’re not sure why you decide to show up at your ex’s place all wounded up from tonight’s battle.

genre/warnings ➵ exes (to sort of lovers?), angst, touch of fluff, afab reader (no gendered terms), hurt/comfort (both physical and emotional), discussions of wounds and depictions of blood, lowercase intended, ghost-spider au (though please don’t expect it to be accurate!), reader is obviously spiderman while dokyeom is peter parker i mean HELLO?? i am right, dokyeom is a lil a slob here, reader’s hair is long enough to be tucked behind their ear, based everything on google when it comes to patching up wounds omg, kissing fingertips, mentions of non-sexual stripping and showering (let him take care of you)

word count ➵ 4k words

playlist ➵ nonviolent communication by metro boomin, james blake, a$ap rocky, & 21 savage // hummingbird by metro boomin & james blake

a/n ➵ my svt writing debut <3 i thought this fic would also work really well for my silly dk and i wanted caratblr to have a chance to read this lil baby of mine <3 here's the original work if you're interested! and ofc, thank you to my cat @wuahae for betareading the original :’) you know how much i love you! don't forget to reblog and leave feedback!

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! want to request? check out my guidelines! masterlist

new york city never falls silent. the bustle of every new yorker can be heard through their footsteps,  the wheels that glide against the train tracks along with the beeps of taxis sound throughout the city. the metropolis stays alive in every street, every alleyway, every corner. no matter what hour it may be, each pavement is wide awake.

but the lights seem hazy tonight; the luminescence pours out of every building, the led boards are only blurs of silhouettes and illegible words. normally, you would warn against going out if someone could barely make sense of what these signs say, but you never seem to follow your own advice.

as you swing through the city, web clinging onto every building, blood continues to seep through the white spandex that covers you from head to toe. your body feels heavy, the pain in your lower abdomen continuing to spike with every movement—every swing—you make.

you bite on your lip, holding back the whimpers. your eyes dart through every street sign you pass. with every swing, you realize you’re nowhere close to where you should be. instead… 

you don’t allow yourself to think it over. maybe the loss of blood has you moving out of impulse, but for now, you can only think of getting rid of the pain.

you swing around the corner before landing down at the familiar fire escape, paint-chipped and rusted just like you remember. a hiss leaves your mouth as your hand reaches out to the spot where the blood continues to seep through, holding it down to keep pressure on the wound.

you’re face-to-face with the window; the reflection of you all suited up in some persona is a sight you’re accustomed to—but not on the glass of his window. you’re not sure why you came back here, injured in an identity he only knew of through word of mouth.

but the throbbing in your abdomen doesn’t give you enough time to think more about it. pushing the window up, you throw one leg over the edge into the apartment. your eyes quickly scan through the familiar space—a room you once treated as yours.

pillows scattered and bedsheets wrinkled, the walls are littered with the same posters of anime he swears to be the best of all time (which you agreed with), along with his desk, littered with trinkets you haven’t seen since the day you left him—ones that he talked about to you back then with so much joy.

as you attempt to get your other leg over the edge of the window, you yelp at the sharp pain that strikes. “fuck,” you whimper, gasping out a breath. another groan rips out from your throat as you force your leg over, head resting on the frame with closed eyes, bracing yourself through the wave of pain that follows.

as pants continue to leave your mouth, your senses tingle as your ears catch the sound of footsteps on the other side of the room. you attempt to stand up only for another groan to leave your lips, and you realize it’s too late—the door creaks open, revealing the man you haven’t been face-to-face with since you said your farewell months ago.

dressed in an oversized white tee and a pair of black shorts, dokyeom stands with a bag of chips in his hand and disheveled hair, eyes wide and gaping. you can only assume he was fresh from bed.  

“s-spiderman?!” he looks around, noticing the mess that you’re being exposed to. before you can register it, he rushes in, dropping the bag of chips somewhere near the doorway, and tries to tidy his bed. “w-what are you doing here? i think you might’ve entered the wrong room,” he stutters as he attempts to fix his pillows and bedsheets (poorly, if you may say). 

somehow, the sight of dokyeom all frazzled makes you smile behind your mask. the idea of your—no, you mean, this guy all worried about you seeing how untidy he lives makes you chuckle.

but as you laugh, pain shoots through your lower abdomen once more. you cough out before hissing, pressing onto the wound. it takes everything in you to keep your body upright until you feel a pair of hands rest on your shoulders. you look up only to be met with his worried expression.

and you spot the way his eyes trail down to where your hand rests. you’re thankful that the mask could hide the heat that rises to your cheeks.

“oh god, you need that treated,” dokyeom’s eyes snap back up to you, and your breath hitches. even after all these months, he still holds stars in his eyes.

it’s been a while since you last saw him up close. the bags on his under eyes have turned a few shades darker, and you notice an eyelash that rests on his cheek. you don’t think about what you do next, your free hand reaching out to his face, and his breath hitches. once you pick it out, you flick the strand off of your fingers, and that’s when you realize the mistake you committed.

“s-sorry,” you choke out. although you try to keep your voice as low and gruntled as possible, he frowns. he bites the inside of his cheek as his eyes flicker between your masked face and the wound.

“i-i don’t know how to help. i can call for an ambulan—”

you grab onto his arm before he can leave. as you shake your head, he gulps. “i can’t really help you,” he says, but your grip doesn’t falter. with that, he lets out a sigh before kneeling in front of you. his hands find themselves on the ledge, his arms now caging your frail figure. “do you have someone in mind who can help you?”

dokyeom’s question is innocent. you’re sure the last thing he meant was to mock your situation—showing up in a “stranger’s” room unannounced—but it strikes a chord in you.

you haven’t spoken to him since you broke up a few months back. when you’re outside of your suit, you avoid him like the plague. in the hallways of campus, you take any possible route to not cross his. but when you’re covered in your second skin, you find yourself on top of buildings watching him from far away. with the distance, you allow yourself to learn about what he’s been up to since you two last spoke. 

so you don’t know why you sit in front of him all injured and dressed up in white, black, and pink spandex, because you haven’t spoken to him since that day. shame bubbles within you all while reality slowly slips from your fingertips. and the way your body gets heavier with every second that passes has him mumbling profanities.

his hands hold onto you as he makes you lean your weight on the frame of the window. “wait,” he says as he stands up and walks into his bathroom. before you know it, he comes out with a box.

dokyeom finds his spot back in front of you and he opens what he retrieved. as he looks through the supplies of bandages, alcohol, gauze, and more, he says as his eyes flicker up towards you, “i don’t know how much this will help but it’ll do for now.”

and you should be thankful that someone is willing to bandage you up after the rough night you’ve had, but it feels like a lie to have dokyeom be the one to do it, especially when you haven’t told him the truth.

so when he grabs onto the supplies he needs to treat your wound, your free hand reaches for the underside of your mask. his eyes follow where it rests, and he freezes in his tracks. your fingertips curl on the fabric as you take a deep breath.

“you don’t—”

you shake your head, cutting him off, and you close your eyes before pulling off the mask.

you’re afraid to look at the boy kneeling in front of you, for you can only imagine the annoyance—the disgust—that will paint his features. it’s not like you had a choice to show up at his fire escape this one night, but it was your choice to reveal who spiderman really is behind the mask.

a beat passes.

you’re not sure what to do at this moment. what are you supposed to do after a vigilante reveals who they are?

but when you open your eyes, dokyeom looks back at you with an emotion you can’t pinpoint. he averts his eyes, trailing down to your wound. “let me see it,” he whispers.

you gulp, an attempt to clear your throat and thoughts, before letting your hand move away from the puncture. your hand grips the hem of the top of your suit, peeling it upwards to reveal a bloody wound. from the sight, it looks like you were stabbed, but it’s only a deep cut.

he pulls out a piece of cloth, reaching out and pressing it to your wound. you yelp, eyes squeezing shut at the contact.  “i’m sorry, but we need to stop the bleeding a bit more.” it takes everything in you to open your eyes. you’re met with the sight of dokyeom whose face holds a thousand emotions—you can’t identify any of them.

“can you keep pressure on it?” you only nod before you remove your gloves, afraid to touch the wound with fabric covered in grime. you dump your mask and gloves on the space beside you before letting your hand reach to where the cloth is held against. your hand brushes against his for a split second—you retract your hand immediately at the contact with his skin.

at the sudden motion, the cloth against your stomach drops with nothing left to hold it. dokyeom curses in a panic, hand shooting out in an attempt to save it, but you react faster. snatching it mid-fall, you grasp it tightly, placing the cloth back onto your wound. his eyes dart between where your hand rests and your face, a twinge of worry cast on his features, but he doesn’t give you an opportunity to say anything as he stands up quickly and walks back to his bathroom.

you hear the water run for a moment. the noises of the street fill your ears. the lights from outside cascade the floor, hues of yellow and purple filling the room. and then thunder rumbles; it shakes the floorboards. the sounds of raindrops follow, and you feel your back start to get wet from the storm that has entered new york city.

you try to push yourself off the ledge, a groan ripping out of your throat once more. and you’re finally on your feet. but at any moment, it feels like you may collapse.

“wait, wait! what are you doing?” dokyeom exclaims as he rushes out of the bathroom. he quickly grabs hold of you in an attempt to keep you steady. “don’t stand up or that wound might get worse.”

“i-it’s just the rain. i don’t want to leave the window open.” as you turn your torso, another spike strikes where your wound is. the yelp that leaves your mouth has dokyeom grip onto your arm tighter.

“no, just sit. i’ll take care of it,” he says as he brings you to his chair, his hand never leaves your arm. you let out a hiss until your bottom meets the cushion. as soon as your back rests on the chair, you close your eyes for a moment from the pain.

his hand leaves you. you hear the window shut; the car horns and barks from stray animals are now muffled.

when your eyes flutter open, dokyeom crouches in front of you with a wet towel in his hand. “i need to clean it.” you only nod before removing the cloth on your wound. he grabs it from you and places it on his lap.

as he raises the wet towel to your wound, you flinch at the contact. he quickly retracts it and asks, “does it hurt?”

“no, it’s just cold,” you mumble back. he only nods before attempting to clean the area around your wound. while he keeps his eyes on the puncture, your eyes remain on his face; hues of yellow cast upon him.

his skin glows under the city lights—did anyone know about the stars you once carved on it?

“is this why we broke up?” his eyes snap toward yours as he asks that question.

you cannot help but bite the inside of your cheek. “y-yeah,” you choke out.

he hums before his eyes go back down to your injury. “i’m guessing this is why you were distant then, right?”

you don’t bother to speak, letting the silence speak for itself.

he removes the wet towel; the white cloth is covered in patches of red. as he crumples it into a ball, you spot that his white shirt holds splotches of blood as well.

dokyeom stands up to drop the pieces of fabric on the table behind you. “your dad obviously doesn’t know,” he mutters to himself.

it’s a rhetorical question. of course, your father has no clue of your late-night rendezvous. you’re sure he could never look at you the same if he found out because to him, he would never understand what you do. he would see you only as a low-life criminal in the same way the nypd does. 

dokyeom then dabs a cotton ball soaked in betadine on your abdomen. you bite on your lip as a hiss leaves your mouth. “fuck,” you curse, and he only continues to clean up your wound.

silence takes over you two. as he bandages you up, you allow yourself to close your eyes. you were thankful to find rest in these small moments. but you don’t miss the warmth of his fingertips on your skin; they feel just like last time.

“why did you come here?” his question has your eyes snapping open, and you are met with a frown resting on his face.

you bite the inside of your cheek. “i-i don’t know.” it’s a lie—one you both know. you had every chance to change the route you were taking. instead, you chose to go to his place—even if it may be on the other side of where you live.

he lets out a sigh. it’s clear that he’s disappointed by your words, but all he says is “okay,” as he gets up. “you can stay here for the night.” he stands in front of you in a shirt covered in patches of blood—it’s proof that his heart still holds a spot for you.

despite the venom that was laced in your words the night you cut ties with him, he leaves you a space for you to fill. it’s another choice you can make, but one you’re not sure if you should take.

dokyeom walks to the desk behind you and flips the lamp on. you swivel the chair so that you’re face-to-face with his slouched figure. you would’ve scolded him, but you’re not in the place to do so—not after what you two had.

but a part of you wishes to chide those words—hey, keep slouching and your back will get worse—for old time’s sake. it takes everything in you to hold back from saying the reminder, but it takes nothing to let your hand grip the back of his shirt. his movements halt.

as you sit up, you let your face bury into the arch of his back. the scent of his laundry detergent (it’s still the same smell of lavender) fills your nose, and you let your hands trail around his torso until they find their home on his waist. even after all these months, your hands knew where to rest—your spidey senses knew who to go to.

you feel his hands rest on your arms, his thumb drawing circles on your forearm. you breathe at the same pace as him. whenever his shoulders move up, yours follow. and you allow yourself to cherish just this once the familiar warmth of dokyeom. you let your soul mesh with his once more.

with closed eyes, you whisper, “i still look for you.” his thumb stops moving, and a shaky breath leaves your mouth. “i’m here because all i know is you.”

it’s half of a lie, but still a lie nevertheless. you shake your head against his shirt. “no,” you rescind. “i know i shouldn’t be here, and i had every chance to go back home, but,” you take a deep breath. “would you let me, just this once, be honest with you?”

your question hangs in the air—it’s not for him but for you. all the choices you took led to this moment, from embracing the persona you were handed through a single spider bite all the way to removing the mask in front of him.

dokyeom spins to face you. he stands in front of you with the remnants of you covering him, his shirt coated in hues of red and your blood dried up on his hands. the light behind him causes a shadow to paint his face.

but when he kneels once more in front of you, you get a good look at his features. he still looks like the same boy you first met—the same one you fell in love with—but you wonder if he was still the one you knew?

that is until his hand reaches toward your face. you hold your breath as it finds its spot on your cheek. but as his thumb grazes your cheekbone, a trembling breath leaves you. you gulp everything down—your fears and anxieties—so that you can finally be honest with dokyeom.

“i wanted to tell you who i really am.” a flicker of confusion flashes through his eyes. “and i know i’m not doing it in the best state,” a chuckle leaves your mouth. “but with every day that passes, and every injury i need to endure, i didn’t know when i would be able to tell you what went wrong with us.” a beat passes. “what went wrong with me.”

he shakes his head. “nothing’s wrong with you. what are you talking about?” a frown takes over his face. “i mean, you’re spiderman, for god’s sake.” you weren’t able to hold back the giggle that slipped from your lips.

but it wouldn’t be fair to just accept his words as is, not after the damage you’ve caused.

you let a hand rest on his, the one that rests on your cheek, and you curl your fingers so that you hold it. “i’m sorry that this is me.” the whisper is loud enough to fill the silence of his room. “i’m sorry that i crashed here all injured and left you to deal with the mess,” your eyes flicker to his bed. “especially on a night when you were resting.”

as soon as your eyes go back to dokyeom, you notice that he’s biting the inside of his cheek. “why are you telling me this?” it’s an honest question, one he couldn’t figure out the answer to. “we haven’t seen each other since you broke up with me.”

and he has every right to be confused with your sudden appearance. after all the months spent avoiding him in the halls while still seeking him on top of buildings, dokyeom was left with no clue as to why you come to him first in such a dire situation. why is it that you chose to reveal such an intimate part of yourself months after you two have drifted?

“do i have to say it?” you ask.

and he looks back into your eyes before saying, “it’s the least you can do.”

so you grab onto his hand, moving it so that it rests in yours. the sight of his fingers and palms covered in splotches of you fills your heart with warmth. it’s proof of the time he spent to patch you up. no matter who you may be—spiderman or not—you will forever be at his mercy.

“we can’t be together. it will only be another cycle of pain.” for both of you. as your eyes land back on his face, you spot sorrow coating his features.

“but i still do.” it’s an unfinished thought on his end. despite the frown you show, all he does is flash you a bitter smile. “i always have and always will.”

and it clicks.

“n-no, dokyeom,” you shake your head. “you can’t.”

he brings your hand close to his lips, letting it linger for a moment. “but you do,” he whispers into your fingertips. “right?”

even after revealing who spiderman truly is behind the mask, you expect dokyeom to rethink everything he knows. the months spent away from you should be enough reason to reconsider how much he knows of you now. but even if you two were to spend years apart, he would still read you as well as he does now. 

“i can’t,” you choke out. “i can only offer so much, and you deserve so much more.”

he smiles at you—the same one you used to see every day, no matter what time of the day it may be—as his free hand reaches for your hair, tucking it behind your ear.

“i couldn’t care any less.”

you shake your head. it’s clear he doesn’t understand the gravity of it all; to be with you means to remain in constant danger. “no, dokyeom. you don’t understand. i broke up with you because i’m batshit scared of what will happen to you.”

because it seems to always occur—anyone you come close to becomes another target for your enemies. it’s already hard enough to handle the responsibility of being a masked hero, but you don’t think you could handle a possibility where dokyeom’s death would be on your hands.

but all he does is shake his head and says, “i don’t care. i still love you.”

you haven’t heard him say that to you in months. such a simple phrase causes warmth to fill your limbs and heat to rise to your cheeks. he still has the same effect on you after so long.

there are consequences that this conversation bears. you should have stood up and left as soon as he patched you up. it should’ve been obvious that the longer you stayed, the more you would pour out sentiments that you tried to keep under wraps—under the mask—and it seemed that dokyeom knew how to undo them even better than he did then.

and hearing dokyeom say those words has you falling into a perpetual cycle of torment, one that makes every day intolerable for you can only watch him from afar. but aren’t you already living it the more you deny what’s in front of you two?

so you only nod, and bring his hand close so you can feel his fingertips on your lips. with closed eyes, you whisper, “okay.”

it’s a testament to everything—one to his offer to let you sleep in this very room you once treated as yours, one to his confession that tilted your world’s axis, one to the very situation you’re in—and you’re sure he knows it, too.

he smiles as soon as your eyes flutter open. “let’s go to sleep.”

you know that sleep meant to be wrapped in his arms all while he would leave kisses on your temple. you don’t remember the last time you got enough rest, but you remember that the last time you slept in dokyeom’s arms was the last one you were able to fall into slumber at ease.

so you nod, allowing him to help you out of the chair. and he helps you through it all—shedding the suit off of you, cleaning you of all the grime from tonight’s adventure, and getting dressed in fresh clothes—until you two find your place on his bed.

nothing is said for the rest of the night. for once, you drift into slumber without any secrets stashed away.

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