#tarzan or leo from stardew

[system-of-a-feather]

It's really funny. Our fiance is in a half-in/half-out inpatient place cause hes had a rapid mental decline where he kinda went from high functioning manageable GAD to like full on kinda severe panic disorder and depression and so he has like 10 am - 3 pm group therapy (and psychiatry and stuff) 3 times a week

And its kinda funny the things that come up about me in there. Cause like they asked him how he stays silly despite everything and he apparently responded "Well yesterday me and my fiance kept repeating [local italian restaraunt name] back and forth for two hours because we thought it sounded funny" and another time they asked how everyone likes to dance cause another person brought it up and he commented that he doesn't really dance beyond with me to which "my fiance dances like a bird so as a love language and to make them happy I have learned to dance like a bird back"

And I'm just looking at that Rio video I posted and briefly before they have Rio and Jewel go animated character dancing, they actually do have a semi-accurate way parrots tend to dance and I'm like yeah me

I do have to say, I am so chronically exposed to it for the past few years cause she stays on my side 24/7 especially when around our fiance, but I take it for granted the sheer amount of silly light hearted joy and fun our Little Gatekeeper brings to our life. She's a chaotic cockatoo but both of those things are things entirely reinforced and spread like a plague within our system.

Cause like literally when I say our system is basically a bird we - as a WHOLE and pretty consistently through the system without thinking about it

Dance like a bird

Scream / Squawk like a bird when startled

Hiss when irritated

Chew on word

Require bird dances as pair bonding

Respond to bird flirting

Reject even considering receiving any form of receiving end of adult intimacy TM unless we have our own personal home

Obscure gender and intersex

Pluck and bite when stressed

"Phantom limbs" <- I feel like that term is probably problematic but I've heard it in otherkin communities and Im not sure of an alternative that people understand

Sing and whistle when happy / in a good mood and often without fully realizing it

Whistle high pitched calls when lost / looking for a close partner and/or to alert them I'm home / around

And thats not including the two literal cockatoo shapeshifters and me who can only really understand their emotions and needs through bird terms and has a HUGE internal mother hen desires and urges

We honestly consider our "own kind" to be parrots before we do humans XD

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly one of the large life goals of mine is to be able to be financially well off and have a stable enough of a life to be able to house at least one cockatoo until death do us part. I really owe birds and parrots a lot to my survival growing up, and the cacatuidae family of birds specifically have always been the closest thing to family we had growing up. It really makes me sad to see how fucked most parrots are ESPECIALLY cockatoos considering they are extremely horrible pets and extremely high maintence and expensive to care for and take care of (because they are absolutely not meant to be pets) and yet the number of suffering parrots out there is so horrifically high and under acknowledged when talking about problems of the pet trade / "owning wild animals".

If you are following this blog, please do not even consider getting a parrot larger than a cockatiel for any reason other than rescue - and even then there is moral questionability - cause they are really horrible and god awful pets and it takes a lot of patience, energy, effort, money, and space to raise one, plus there are SO many of them out there that getting any of them from a breeder is adding to a problem.

But mini disclaimer aside, its something I really just honestly need to do and want to do. I'm open to having my one "big bird" be a not-cockatoo if I click with one in a rescue and if I can handle more than one, I'd consider that as well, but just being able to house one would mean the world.

In a sense, its probably the same thing traumatized people who want children have of "I wish I could do better than my parents did" but our system is honestly mentally "Tarzan" or more specifically Leo from Stardew and honestly are far more parrot than we are human in emotionally imprinting and honestly, its the least I can do to pay back my "bird mom" for being so gentle to me when we were young.