#taryn's birthday celebration 2021

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Birthday Celebration Master List

In My Way- Kakashi has a job to do, but there’s a familiar face in the crowd that tells him it won’t be as easy as he originally thought. Rated: T

The Little Things- Kakashi has noticed Iruka struggling with a few things now that they’re older. He decides to try and help his husband out in any way he can, without being noticed. Rated: G

Sleep Overs And Ghost Stories- Naruto informs Kakashi that he has invited his friends over for a sleepover at their ranch that night. Knowing he can’t do everything himself to get ready to host a bunch of kids, Kakashi calls in some help. Rated: T

Hello, Princess: Parties have never been Kakashi’s favourite scene, but they’re a necessary part of his job protecting the prince. Thankfully, this time, he finds someone to keep him entertained. Rated: G

Worst Flirt Ever- Sakura’s one of Kakashi’s best workers. Always alert and helping the customers. So when he notices her distracted by a customer during rush hour, he decides it’s time to intervene. Rated: G

Stunning Choice- In the middle of a heist, Kakashi notices that Tenzo’s nowhere to be seen. Rated: T

This Is Not Relaxing: A day off was something special. Time for shinobi to relax and enjoy themselves. Apparently, Tsunade-sama has different plans for Kakashi’s day off. Rated: G

Why Protect Them?- Revenge is something Kakashi has been seeking since he left Konoha. For the pain he felt, the life he lives, the hatred he faced. Yet, when he thinks he has finally gotten that revenge he still feels empty. As if there’s something else for him to do. A masked Shinobi shows up to tell him just what it is he’s missing. Rated: T

Let Me Prove Myself: Kakashi finds himself arguing for a change in the roster for his mission, and receives support from an unexpected source. Rated: G

Jokes On You-After a long morning of training, Sakura feels like taking a nap. Possibly the biggest mistake she has ever made. Rated: G

High School Crushes- Sakura and Kakashi are setting up for the LGBTQ+ club when an unexpected guest shows up, and Kakashi’s forced to watch awkward high school flirting. Rated: G

Yesterdays Sadness- Kakashi tries to escape the village for a while, desperate to get away from all of the ghosts that litter the streets. Unfortunately, the spot he chose to hideaway has a surprise for him. Rated: T

What's So Great About You?- No matter what he does, Kabuto can’t seem to get his business to surpass that arrogant jerk Hatake’s, and to make matters worse Hatake has made a habit out of visiting his small bakery to ‘check-in on them’. Rated: G

Mistaken Identities- Kakashi and Gai pay a visit to the Pewter city for a nice relaxing night, only to have the Pokemon Center nurse mistake them for far more embarrassing people. Rated: G

Give Us Some Scenes- It’s a routine at this point. To check their scripts, hoping for a hint of a scene with the other man. Even the smallest one. Yet, no matter how many times they look they can never seem to find one. So they decide to take matters into their own hands. Rated: G

Hello, Terrifying- Zabuza usually finds these kinds of parties to be dull, but he can’t help but stare at the unexpected visitor that seems to have everyone’s attention. Rated: M

Coffee Date- Kakashi had agreed to a coffee date dedicated to marking the last few essays he has left for last, but when he gets there he can’t help but want to do anything else. Rated: G

Stunning- The wedding is finally here, and Kakashi can’t help but feel nervous. Especially when his husband-to-be is late. Rated: G

Memories- In the middle of recovering from the Kazekage Rescue mission, Kakashi finds himself being visited by his two best friends, and reliving some memories that he’d much rather forget. Rated: G

Animal Parade- While making his way through the village, Houki can’t help but notice something odd passing him by. Especially when he realizes that his Hero, Lord Sixth, is involved. Rated: G

Time To Move On- Tsunade decides to leave the village after suffering enough lose to break even the strongest shinobi, but this time she chooses not to go alone. Rated: T

Meet My Eternal Rival- Kakashi always knew that there would come a day where his new Genin team would end up meeting Gai. He was just hoping for a little extra time, and some support from his favourite summon. Rated: G

Let's Save The Day- It's the middle of a world-ending war, everything is going wrong, and Obito can't help but think that things might work a bit better in their favour if an old friend showed up Rated: T

Hello, Sensei- Kakashi's in Konoha to have a chat with the Acadamy Sensei about a student exchange that he and the Hokage have disguised, but he's not expecting the man he's there to meet to be so... Handsome. Rated: G

The Next Generation- While Inoichi attempts to train Kakashi, Shikaku and Choza play a game of Shogi and watch. Rated: G

Game Time Flirting- The goal? Win the challenge and prove that he's the ultimate breath of the wild player. The strategy? Distract Tenzo with the worst pickup lines he can think of. Rated: T

Get To Work- All Shikamaru wants is for his boss to figure out the pay and write up his cheque before the end of his shift. It's not a lot to ask, but here he is. Watching as Kakashi wastes time flirting instead of making sure his staff get paid. Rated: G

To The Future- Now that the Fourth Great Shinobi War is over, and everything has started to settle down, Kakashi and Gai decide what to do next with their lives. Rated: G

Answer Me This: Ever since he was young, Tenzo wandered about the mark on his chest. Now that he’s a bit older, with a lot less going on in his life to distract him, he decides to seek some answers from a trusted source. Rated: G

Goodbyes Are Never Easy- Even after the Fourth Great Shinobi War, there are still those healing from the losses they suffered. Rated: G

I Love Him More: While visiting Konoha with his friend, Tenzo finds himself in an awkward situation with one Maito Gai. Aka the man of Kakashi's dreams, and the most annoying person Tenzo could ever meet.Rated: G

Take Over For Me- In the middle of training with the Sand Siblings, Baki shows up to inform Kakashi of a change of plans. Rated: T

Secret Hideaway- During a day off together, Iruka decided to show Kakashi an interesting place he found on his last adventure in Viridian forest. Rated: G

Change Of Plans- The job was to get into Onoki's party and make sure that Anko was safe while she was wooing her way into the target's bed. The problem? She's not the target's type. Rated: T

How About, No- Doing paperwork has never been Kakashi's favourite part of the job. Doing Tsunade-sama's paperwork is somehow even worse, but apparently, that's not bad enough. Kakashi's best friend has to go and make his life more ridiculous over a stupid crush. Rated: G

Out There Somewhere- After a terrible nightmare, Kakashi make's a discovery that could change everything. Rated: T

Faded Colour- On his way to complete a mission in the land of Earth, Kakashi notices a shift in his vision that could only mean one thing. His soulmate is nearby, and for some reason, he really wants to see the man. Rated: G

[depressedhatakekakashi]

The Next Generation

Words: 975

Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Nara Shikaku, Akimichi Choza, Yamanaka Inoichi

Warning: Mentions of Sakumo's Death

Summary: While Inoichi attempts to train Kakashi, Shikaku and Choza play a game of Shogi and watch.

Created with lots of help from @thespookymoth

The soft click of wooden Shogi pieces being placed against the board was usually calming for Shikaku. One of the few activities that he took part in that he genuinely enjoyed, granting him a moment's break from the constant need to plan and organize every little detail for multiple missions before they were assigned to operatives.

Today, however, that sound he loves so much isn’t the only one echoing in the room.

“He’s doing it wrong,” he grumbled under his breath, glaring towards Inoichi as he explained the next scenario to Kakashi. “At this rate, all he’s going to teach the kid is his bad habits. The best way to get himself killed out in the field.”

Across the board, Choza chuckled.

“You’re being too hard on him,” moving his next piece, he settled back into his seat. “He’s the best at what he does. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be alive today.”

While that was true, it didn’t change the fact that Inoichi was teaching Kakashi all of the worst ways to approach manipulation. Ways that were guaranteed to get Kakashi killed, especially if-

“What if he has Sensei’s personality?” moving his next piece, he watched as Choza examined the board. “You know Sensei was terrible at smooth-talking. The man couldn’t have talked his way out of a bad date no matter how hard he tried.”

“Which is why he was never put into those situations,” Choza reminded him. “Kakashi’s a smart kid, but he’s not going to be great at everything we teach him no matter how hard we try. That’s not Inoichi or anyone else's fault. If Manipulation ends up being something he can’t grasp, those will be scenarios I have no doubt you’ll avoid putting him into.”

Choza was right, of course. Shikaku was always careful about which missions he put their operatives on, and it wasn’t like Kakashi would be taking missions any time soon. The only reason he was even training already was because he was already so far ahead in his regular schooling. Always three steps ahead of the rest of his class, he had grown bored.

The kid was ten and already demanding a challenge.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Raising an eyebrow, Shikaku glanced back towards the area where Inoichi and Kakashi were training together and took a deep breath. Holding back his laughter when he saw the tiny ten-year-old glaring up at Inoichi. “Why would I compliment someone when they haven’t done anything to deserve it?”

“Well, I-”

“If I want to compliment someone, shouldn’t it be about something they’re actually good at? Or even just something that’s actually positive about them?” Kakashi cut him off, overanalyzing what Inoichi was trying to teach him. “I mean, then I'm less likely to be caught in a lie.”

It was impressive just how right the kid was, but Shikaku was too busy enjoying the stunned look on Inoichi’s face. No one had ever complained about his training methods before, outside of Shikaku.

“Well, you see…” Inoich glanced towards his teammates, clearly looking for help.

“Don’t leave him hanging,” Shikaku teased. “He asked you a question.”

Inoichi’s revenge would be swift and sweet, there’s no doubt about that. He’ll have to keep his guard up for weeks if he wants to avoid whatever Inoichi plans for him. Perhaps it was time for him to take a vacation actually. Getaway for a few days.

“You know what,” placing his hands on his hips, Inoichi turned his attention back to Kakashi with the most innocent-looking smile on his face. “I think that’s enough about Manipulation today. How about you and Shikaku do some training on tactical leadership.”

Cute.

He thought he could pawn Kakashi off on Shik-

“Can we!?” Kakashi turned to him with hopeful eyes. “Dad used to teach me, so I know a bit, but he always said you were the best tactical leader he knew. I’m sure there’s a lot of things I could learn from you.”

This was the first time he had ever seen Kakashi excited about learning. Sure, the kid liked learning, but usually, he had a bored expression on his face when they told him what he would be learning next. He’d sit and pay attention, but anyone with eyes could tell that he wasn’t enjoying himself.

“We should have started with Shikaku,” Inoichi grumbled, making his way towards his teammates. “Go. I’ll take over your Shogi game.”

“I didn’t realize we were handing Choza the win,” narrowly avoiding the foot aimed for his side, Shikaku stood up in his spot and sighed. “Well, can’t have them all I guess. Kakashi wants to learn something useful finally so-”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll make sure you don’t get a good cup of tea for the next year.”

As any smart man would, Shikaku shut his mouth. The last thing he wanted was to have his tea tested for poison before he even took a sip. Still, seeing the way Inoichi flopped down into his chair with a huff was pretty amusing.

“Hmm, where to start,” coming to a stop at Kakashi’s side, he reached out and buried a hand into that long spiky silver hair. Something his own Sensei used to do when he was much younger, desperate to show just how good of a spy he could be even when he didn’t have as much drive as Inoichi and Choza. “How about we try working through some scenarios? Give me a chance to see just how good you are.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened, his attempt to hide his excitement evident from the way his hands twisted into the fabric of his pants, even though his eyes gave it all away.

Something he had no doubt Choza would be able to teach him to hide better when it was his turn to train Kakashi.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

AO3

AU: None/Cannon

Words: 1351

Rating: General

Pairings: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka

Warnings: None

Summary: Kakashi has noticed Iruka struggling with a few things now that they’re older. He decides to try and help his husband out in any way he can, without being noticed.

Shinobi die young. That’s what Kakashi had always been told growing up. Even the best of the best would be lucky to see old age, either falling in battle or succumbing to their wounds after a mission.

Only the lucky ones lived to see retirement.

He had been lucky for his generation, and retirement was sweet. No more missions to go on, no endless amounts of paperwork waiting for him each morning at the Hokage’s office, and no students in need of being moulded into soldiers to fight wars that he no longer could.

Retirement was sweet, and it was even sweeter with Iruka by his side.

Of course, there were some negatives to living a long, fulfilling life. For Kakashi, it was Arthritis, hearing loss, and busted knees from years of use and abuse. For Iruka, it was a decrease in his visual range and increased forgetfulness.

Kakashi adjusted well enough to his issues. Specialized equipment around the house to help make it easier to do certain things made his life a lot easier than it had been a few months ago.

For Iruka, it wasn’t as easy to adjust. He tried to keep a calendar for appointments but always found himself misplacing it or forgetting to write things down. And his depth perception had gotten so bad that he often missed his coffee mug when he tried to grab it or dropped his house keys on the floor instead of inside of the bowl that they kept by the door for them.

The worst was when he was trying to eat ramen. With his depth perception slowly starting to fail him, there was more than one occasion where he had either missed the bowl completely while trying to eat or spilled boiling ramen directly onto his lap.

It was a growing concern for Kakashi. One that he wanted to help with as much as possible. Of course, he didn't want Iruka to catch him trying to help. Iruka was a proud man, even if he did try to keep that little aspect of himself hidden.

Organized, prompt, careful. That was what Iruka had been known for all his life, and no matter how much he struggled these days, he was still proud of those traits and determined to keep them.

So Kakashi had to find ways to help his husband out without getting caught and risking the wrath of a proud ex-Academy principal.

Sometimes that help involved nudging Iruka’s coffee cup a bit closer or a bit further away, depending on where it was and where Iruka was reaching for. Avoiding a spill all over the table that could run down onto their legs, or a completely missed coffee cup and that annoyed ‘tsk’ that Iruka made whenever he was disappointed in himself.

Other Times, it was a bit more difficult. If Iruka had an appointment with the doctors Kakashi would make sure to write it down on the calendar they kept in the kitchen and his own personal calendar. He would also ‘remind’ Iruka the day of the appointment by asking him what time his appointment was at. There was always a panicked note in Iruka’s voice while he tried to figure out what it was Kakashi was talking about, but as soon as he looked at the calendar and saw the appointment that Kakashi had written down for him he relaxed and started to get ready.

At the end of the day though, he usually succeeded. Major spills and missed appointments were avoided. Of course, when it came to more personal plans, Kakashi usually preferred to remind Iruka about them just before he was supposed to leave the house.

It allowed him to sneak in a few extra minutes of cuddles.

“Are you coming?” Iruka called from the bedroom, pulling Kakashi out of his thoughts and back to the present moment. Before his thoughts had started to wander he had been looking at himself in the mirror. Examining every wrinkle and grey hair and thinking about how much he had aged over the years.

How much more life he had gotten to see, with Iruka by his side. A small smile tugged at his lips. “On my way.” He called back, checking his face once more before finally turning around and heading back into the bedroom. There, lying in bed with a hand stretched out towards him was Iruka.

Light of his life.

The best thing to ever happen to him.

“You took your sweet time in there,” Iruka teased. “Trying to avoid coming to bed?”

“And miss out on extra cuddles?” throwing the blanket back, Kakashi fell back into the bed with a groan and waited for Iruka to carefully place the blanket over his body. “Not a chance. You’re stuck with me, don’t forget that.”

“Oh no, such a terrible fate has befallen me,” Throwing a hand over his forehead, Iruka fell back against the bed and sighed dramatically. “Whatever shall I do? How can I continue with my life knowing that I am stuck with Konoha’s prettiest boy?”

And people called Kakashi the dramatic one.

Turning onto his side to face his husband, he slipped an arm around his waist and gently bumped his nose against his shoulder. “Konoha’s prettiest boy, hmm?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Iruka reached over and smacked him in the shoulder lightly. “Even at our age, there are still people who can’t help but turn and look at you. I don’t blame them of course. You’ve hardly aged at all since you were twenty-seven.”

Lies. He had so many new wrinkles and more grey hairs than he could count. Though, the bonus of having silver hair from birth was that other people couldn’t see the grey hairs he got. Not like the ones that had started to take over Iruka’s beautiful brown hair years ago.

“I think they’re wrong,” he smiled, pressing a tender kiss against Iruka’s shoulder. “I’m the lucky one here. I got to marry the cutest boy in the whole world. How can you get better than that?”

“Oh I don’t know,” turning his head, Iruka returned Kakashi’s gesture with a gentle kiss against his forehead and chuckled when Kakashi instantly melted into him. “I think I win in the end though. After all, my husband likes to do small things that he thinks I won’t notice just to make my life easier. Like shoving my coffee cup closer to me this morning, or reminding me that I had lunch plans with Naruto at Ichiraku Ramen.”

His little actions hadn’t gone as unnoticed as he’d originally thought.

“And you don’t mind?” he asked, a little confused by the fact that Iruka wasn’t giving him a lecture. “Mr. ‘proud Academy principal’ doesn’t mind that his husband helps him out once in a while?”

“Even the best Academy principals need help once in a while,” pressing another kiss against Kakashi’s forehead, Iruka chuckled when he was rewarded with a soft grunt. “Thank you, Kakashi. I appreciate it.”

Burying his face into Iruka’s neck, Kakashi mumbled a soft ‘you’re welcome’ against his skin. He hadn’t thought it was a big deal. It was his job to help Iruka out when he could. To make his life easier.

Iruka repeated himself with laughter in his voice, whispering the words against Kakashi’s forehead over and over again. It was embarrassing that he had been caught so easily. Especially when he had been trying not to let Iruka know what he was doing, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the recognition of his efforts. That hearing Iruka saying those sweet ‘thank you’s ‘ to him didn’t make his stomach twist up in knots.

Even after all the years, he had spent married to Iruka, he couldn’t help but feel like he had won an award whenever his husband thanked him for the little things that he did.

That’s what being in love was like, at least in his experience.

Feeling like there was no better accomplishment in his life than just being there for the man he loved.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Sleep Over’s and Ghost Stories

AU: Rural Au

Words: 2289

Rating: General

Characters: Hatake Kakashi and Tenzo|Yamato

Warnings: Ghost stories, Mentions of blood.

Summary: Naruto informs Kakashi that he has invited his friends over for a sleepover at their ranch that night. Knowing he can’t do everything himself to get ready to host a bunch of kids, Kakashi calls in some help.

Warning wasn’t something that Naruto had given Kakashi a lot of that afternoon when he came running into the house after a long day of school and announced that he had invited his classmates over for a camping sleepover, tonight.

Any less warning and Kakashi might not have been able to secure any help for the night, leaving him to take care of all of the food prep, wood gathering, and other chores that needed to be done while Naruto took the trunk into town to get enough marshmallows to feed an army.

That was an understatement of course. It was more likely that they could feed all of Konoha with the number of Marshmallows he had bought. At least he had also thought ahead and gotten eggs and bacon for tomorrow’s breakfast, which Kakashi had no doubt he would be cooking.

Panicking over the amount of work that was being handed to him, and wanting someone there to help him out, Kakashi decided to call the best person to help him out for the night.

Gai had unfortunately informed him that he had to head into the city the next morning for a supply run, meaning Kakashi had to call his other best friend. An unpleasant call to make since he knew that Tenzo had planned to go to the lake tomorrow for a relaxing day by himself.

Thankfully with enough pleading and a promise to go to the lake next week with Tenzo, he finally secured some help for the night.

Which was how he ended up here. Setting up a bonfire for the kids while Tenzo and Naruto put out chairs for everyone.

“Did you buy enough non-marshmallow snacks?” He called over to Naruto, wanting to make sure that no one was left hungry tonight.

“I even made sure to pick up extra bags of everything for Choji,” Naruto beamed. “And I asked Choji to bring some snacks from the bakery, Sakura to grab some stuff from the general store, and Kiba’s even bringing some dog food because I told him it was the only way you’d let him pet Pakkun.”

This must be one of those ‘proud dad’ moments that Gai was always talking about.

Tenzo, on the other hand, didn’t seem as happy about Naruto’s underhandedness, judging by the unimpressed look on his face. “Some days I wonder how you two get along, and then moments like this happen,” crossing his arms over his chest he turned to glare at Kakashi. “Quit teaching him bad habits, Senpai.”

They both knew that was never going to happen of course. Kakashi loved teaching Naruto all of his worst habits. It ensured that there would always be someone in the village to mess with other people, even long after Kakashi was gone.

“I also asked Sasuke to bring some cat food,” Naruto added. “Once Kakashi Nii-san told me you were coming over to help. He said he could bring a bag of cat food that Itachi made himself. Something that your cats would love.”

Tenzo’s hands dropped to his side, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

“I see,” his voice softened. “Still, you shouldn’t lie to Kiba to get free food for the dogs.”

“He’s right you know,” Kakashi added, smiling when Tenzo gave him a skeptical look. “But really it’s Kiba’s fault for believing you. Everyone knows Pakkun won’t let anyone pet him but me.”

Ok, him and Gai, and sometimes Tenzo depending on how nice the pug was feeling.

“Senpai, what did I just say about teaching him bad habits!?”

Resting his hands behind his head, Kakashi chuckled when Tenzo started to lecture him about the importance of friendship and trust. This wasn’t the first time he had gotten this exact lecture and there was no doubt in his mind that it wouldn’t be the last. Tenzo gave it to him at least once a week after he used his friends’ love of praise to get a free coffee or lunch out of him.

Meanwhile, Naruto continued to set everything up. Far too used to Kakashi and Tenzo’s arguments he had learned long ago to tune them out and keep doing whatever it was he was in the middle of.

It was simply better not to interrupt Tenzo, or one risked him dragging them into the lecture. Naruto was already lucky he wasn’t getting it alongside Kakashi since it had been his actions that upset the woodcarver.

“Oh!” reaching out, Kakashi placed one hand over Tenzo’s mouth to silence him and used the other to point towards the driveway. “Naruto, your friends are starting to arrive.”

Naruto immediately dropped what he was doing and turned towards the driveway, throwing his hands up into the air when he saw Itachi’s car pulling in beside Tenzo’s truck. “Sasuke!” He called out, running towards the driveway and leaving Kakashi and Tenzo to finish up with the bonfire set up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Once everything had been set up and all of Naruto’s school friends had finally arrived, it was finally time to relax and enjoy the rest of the night. At least, enjoy as much of the night as one could while Kiba was sitting beside him trying desperately to pet the pug dog sitting on his lap.

“He’s going to bite you,” he warned, chuckling when Kiba continued to ignore him and narrowly avoided getting his hand chomped by Pakkun. “I told you.”

“He’s supposed to love me,” Kiba huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring down at Pakkun. “All dogs love me.”

“Pakkun’s a picky dog,” scratching the pug behind the ears, Kakashi chuckled when he instantly relaxed into his hand. Forgetting all about the mean teenager who had been interrupting his relaxing nap just seconds ago. “You have seven other dogs to play with on this ranch. I don’t see why you’re so determined about getting Pakkun to like you.”

“All dogs should like me,” planting his hands on the chair, Kiba glared back at Pakkun from the corner of his eyes. “I’m a dog person. All dogs love me.”

Giving his head a shake Kakashi turned his attention back to the rest of the group and continued to scratch Pakkun’s ear. It was amusing to see Kiba continuously trying to win his favourite dog over, but at some point, the kid had to give up.

When feeding Pakkun treats didn’t work, it was a lost cause. He had chosen his favourite human and he simply wasn’t interested in anyone to who Kakashi wasn’t incredibly close.

“We should do something interesting,” Glancing towards Tenzo, Kakashi raised an eyebrow when he saw him staring at Naruto and all of his friends huddled around the fire roasting marshmallows. “It’s too quiet. Something interesting has to happen.”

And Tenzo accused him of being a bad influence.

“Mmm, and what ‘interesting’ thing would you like to happen?” Watching as Tenzo leaned in close, Kakashi listened to his plan carefully. A small smile pulling at his lips.

This was going to be perfect.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Catching the attention of the kids hadn’t been as hard as Kakashi thought it would be. With the simple mention of a ghost story, he suddenly found himself surrounded by excited, bright-eyed kids waiting patiently for him to tell them the story.

Now he just had to hope that Tenzo was ready to put his plan into action.

“The tale of old man Tobirama, hmmm. Well, I guess you’re all old enough to hear it now. But don’t come crying to me if you end up having nightmares for years about it.”

“Kakashi, stop teasing us and tell us the story already.” Naruto insisted, puffing out his cheeks and glaring at his guardian.

“I bet it’s not even that scary,” Sakura commented, acting like she wasn’t leaning in to hear better. “‘Old man Tobirama’. There probably wasn’t even anyone named ‘Tobirama’ in our village.”

Oh, boy were they in for a surprise.

“Well, in the case,” leaning forward, Kakashi planted his hands on his knees and smiled down at the group. “Let me tell you the story of old man Tobirama. The grumpy old guy who lived in the old Senju ranch and would cook up children for dinner.”

At the mention of the Senju ranch, he could see the kids already starting to shake.

“Long ago, before I was even born, the Senju ranch was full of life. With a large family, parties every weekend, and a garden that could make anyone jealous. They were known for having the best fruits and vegetables in all of Konoha, though back then the village was a lot smaller so who knows how good they were.”

He’d probably get smacked by Tsunade for saying it, but it was worth it for the giggles he got from his audience.

“For the longest time, the Senju’s lived in the village peacefully. Mingling with the other villages, trading their fruits and veggies for other goods that they could use. But then one day the Senju’s just stopped coming into town. It was like they disappeared. No one knew what had happened to them, but there were rumors. Little whispers that floated around the village about the middle child, Tobirama.”

Naruto shivered in front of him, Sakura slinked behind Ino just a little, and Kiba used Bull as a shield from Kakashi. So far, none of the other kids were showing much of a reaction except for prompting Kakashi to continue with the story.

“For years the house lay empty. No one going in or out. It slowly started to decay and rot from the inside, and the garden became overgrown. Surrounding the house with vines, vegetables, and fruits. There wasn’t an inch of the place that was accessible. After fifty years the villagers finally got together and made a decision. The house had to come down.”

“This is boring,” Sasuke interrupted him. The same unimpressed look on his face that he always had when someone other than his big brother was talking. “Nothing is even happening.”

Giving his head a shake, Kakashi reached out and flicked Sasuke in the nose.

“Hasn’t Itachi taught you anything about patience, brat?” he teased. “I’m just getting to the good part. Now shush.”

Settling back into his seat, Kakashi returned his hand to Pakkun’s head and took a deep breath. “Anyways, the villagers had made their decision. They found a group of hard workers to tear down the old building and started to gather all of the equipment that they would need. A week later the workers were ready to head onto the property and start with the demolition. They hoped that it would only take a few days, but as the hours passed by, they slowly started to disappear one by one.”

Sakura was now completely hidden behind Ino, and it looked like Ino wasn’t doing much better. Her face had lost all colour, and her eyes were wide with fear.

Naruto had slowly begun to inch away from Kakashi, using any of his friends that were readily available as a shield between himself and his guardian. Hinata was cowering behind her favourite hoodie, only her eyes visible.

The only people who didn’t look fazed by his story were Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Shino. None of which were a surprise given their personalities.

He just had to hope that Tenzo pulled through and managed to fix that.

“By the end of the day the only person left was a young woman. Desperate to find the rest of her group she searched the entire house. Looking in every bedroom, searching the yard and even the attic. But no matter how often she called out to them, or where she looked, she couldn’t find them anywhere. Finally, she was left with only one place to look. The old cellar under the kitchen.”

There were a few mummers in the crowd, and at least one ‘not the cellar’ spoken in a whisper somewhere behind Shikamaru.

“Pulling up all of her courage, she headed for her new destination. The door to the cellar creaked as she pulled it open, but when she peered down there was nothing but darkness. She called out to the others, but no one answered.”

Naruto shifted a bit closer to Sasuke, nudging his shoulder until the Uchiha finally gave in and threw an arm around him.

“Taking the first step down the stairs, she held her breath. The stories villagers had told her growing up swimming in her mind. Images of Senju Tobirama, a teenager with bright silver hair and angry red eyes, wielding a bloody ax in his hands. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get rid of those thoughts, and every step she took down into the cellar felt like it would be her last. But finally, she made it to the bottom of the stairs and reached out for the cellar lights pull cord, hoping to add some light to the room. Finding it in the pitch black, she tugged at it and…”

“She was met with the face of Senju Tobirama!” Jumping up behind the kids, Tenzo flashed the light under his chin and warped his face into the most haunting face he could manage. With wide creepy eyes, and his mouth hanging open with what Kakashi could only assume was ketchup smeared all over his chin, Tenzo sent every single one of the kids scattering. Screams filled the air, only slightly drowned out by Kakashi and Tenzo’s laughter.

If Kakashi had been smart he would have brought a camera. There was no way Itachi was going to believe him the next morning when he told him about the look of absolute terror on Sasuke’s face.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Animal Parade

AU: Animal Whisperer Au

Words: 1239

Rating: General

Characters: Takatori Houki, Uzumaki Boruto, Uchiha Sarada, Metal Lee, Hatake Kakashi

Warnings: None

Summary: While making his way through the village, Houki can’t help but notice something odd passing him by. Especially when he realizes that his Hero, Lord Sixth, is involved.

Morning training had been a little harder than usual, with Sai-sensei running multiple scenarios that Houki and his teammates had to solve. Sometimes the problem could be solved by taking the enemy down and capturing them, but other times they would have to leave the target alone. Coming up with a way to gather information without being caught and getting it back to their Sensei.

So far, they still needed a lot of work on the information-gathering missions.

“I’m certain there’s something we can do.” Houki whispered under his breath, barely paying attention as he made his way through the village. With just a little planning, he was certain that he could figure out an effective plan. One that would make Sai-sensei proud, and may even catch the attention of Lord sixth.

Stopping in his tracks, he thought back to the last exercise his team had done. All the ways that they had messed up, and how they could improve when he felt something bump against his foot.

Turning his attention to his side, he frowned when he saw a dog walking past him. Not just one dog though, besides it was a whole parade of animals. Lions, tigers, cats, and even a few snakes.

“What…” searching for whatever it was they were headed towards, Houki followed the line of animals to the front, his eyes widening when he saw what, or more appropriately, who, was leading all of these animals through the village.

Lord sixth.

“He has been walking like this for an hour,” hearing a familiar voice behind him, Houki turned to find Boruto standing directly behind him. A serious look on his face in place of the usual goofy smile Houki was far more used to seeing. “Sarada and I have been following him everywhere but we can’t figure it out.”

“I told you,” Sarada came up behind Boruto, arms crossed over her chest and eyes focused on the parade of animals. “They’re probably following him because he has some sort of food on him.”

That didn’t make any sense.

“There-there’s squirrels and chipmunks in there,” Houki spoke up, frowning when Sarada looked his way. “They don’t like the same food as Lions and tigers.”

“He has a pack on his back. I wouldn’t put it past him to put a bunch of food in it just to make a show of himself,” Sarada argued. “He’s always doing embarrassing stuff.”

There were so many questions running through Houki’s mind at that moment, but he had to focus. There had to be a logical reason for why Lord Sixth had a parade of animals following him through the streets of Konoha.

“Hey!” Hearing a familiar voice, Houki turned to see Metal running towards them. “What’s going on? Why is everyone standing around here?”

“Can’t you tell?” Sarada jabbed a finger towards Lord Sixth and the parade of animal’s behind him. “We’re having an argument about why the old man has all of those animals following him around. I think he has food in his pack.”

“It’s not food,” Boruto insisted. “I bet he got sprayed by some experiment that makes him smell good to animals.”

Houki cringed at that idea. It didn’t sound pleasant at all.

“Oh, is that all?” All three of them gave metal a confused look. “This is normal. He looks like he’s thinking about something and he probably hasn’t noticed all of the animals following him.

Normal?

“Normal!?” The three of them screamed at the same time.

“How is this normal?” Sarada asked. “I’ve never seen him come to the house to visit mom with a parade of animals behind him.”

“Same when he comes to my place,” Boruto insisted. “The only dogs I ever see with him are his dumb hounds.”

Houki narrowed his eyes towards Boruto. “They’re not dumb,” he insisted. “They’re bloodhounds that could rip an enemy apart with ease.”

“Alright, jeez,” Holding his hands out in front of him, Boruto sighed. “Sorry. I forgot you were the old man’s number one fanboy for a second.”

“How could you possibly forget that?” Sarada asked. “He always dresses up like him.”

Houki wasn’t sure when this had become a conversation about his status as ‘number in fanboy for lord sixth’, but he was quite done with it already.

“So,” he turned away from the other two with a little huff of annoyance. “You said this was normal?”

“Ya,” Metal chuckled lightly. “He’s always waking up from his naps surrounded by animals. Usually, when he’s out in the village he tells them to leave him alone, or at least not create such a…” glancing towards the animal parade he sighed. “Well, such a show.”

“He does look like he’s thinking about something,” Sarada noted, “and when he thinks sometimes it feels like he’s not paying attention to anything going on around him.”

“There’s probably some big problem going on in the village that needs his attention,” Houki declared, his eyes shining as he thought about all of the things that Lord Seventh could be struggling with. “I bet he’s thinking really hard about how to help the village grow even more.”

“That’s not his job though,” Boruto sighed. “My old man…”

Glaring at Boruto, Houki huffed. “Do you really think your old man would be able to come up with an answer to a tough problem without help?”

“Well, no. That’s why he has Uncle Shikamaru to help him.”

“I bet they still asked Lord sixth for advice,” He couldn’t imagine Lord Sixth not having a say in it. He was the reason Konoha had grown so much since the fourth great shinobi war. His advice was invaluable.

There was no doubt in Houki’s mind that whatever the ex-Hokage was thinking of, it was a huge issue. It was the only explanation for why he hadn’t noticed the parade of animals following him around the village.

Drumming his fingers against his chin, Kakashi hummed as he went through his options. There weren’t a lot of choices, so he couldn’t understand why he was having so many difficulties.

“Come on, Kakashi,” he whispered to himself. “Hot Springs or a fancy dinner out. Or maybe both? Could we do both?”

Planning an anniversary surprise was no easy task, and he’d yell at anyone who tried to tell him that it was. At this rate, he’d be lucky if he figured out what to get Gai for a present.

“Shit,” he stopped in his tracks suddenly, grunting when something slammed into his back. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Turning to face whoever it was he had inconvenienced, Kakashi cringed when he saw a long line of animals there behind him. Lions, tigers, squirrels, dogs, cats. He’s pretty sure he even spotted a few monkeys somewhere in the crowd.

“Great...and how long have you been following me this time?” He placed his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes. “I bet I look like a spectacle because of all of you.” He’d have to go into hiding for a week just to let the gossip simmer down a bit, which was going to put a damper on all of his hard work planning that surprise for Gai.

It couldn’t be helped though. Just looking around the area he could see people staring at him, including four nosey genin’s off in the distance smiling and waving at him as soon as they noticed him looking their way.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Konoha’s Beautiful Green Beast

AU: Canon

Words: 1899

Rating: General

Pairings: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai

Warnings: None

Summary: The wedding is finally here, and Kakashi can’t help but feel nervous. Especially when his husband-to-be is late.

Made with lots of help from @uncharted-darkness

Panic was starting to rise in his chest. A tight, painful feeling making it difficult for him to breath. Like there was a heavyweight on his chest, making the pain worse every second that he stood there.

“He’s late…” his voice shook when he spoke, all of the worst-case scenarios coming to the front of his mind.

What if he’s injured and I’m not there to help?

What if he got lost?

Or he just doesn’t want to marry me anymore?

His stomach churned, Nausea settling in.

Forcing himself to take deep breaths, he tried to apply some reason to the situation. Remind himself that it was Gai who asked him to marry him, who planned out the wedding and carefully picked out the guest list so that it wasn’t too big but all of their friends were there.

No matter what he did, that impending feeling of disaster clung to him. Clawing at his soul while his mind tried to come up with every excuse that it could be for Gai’s lateness.

Gai, who was always on time with a bright smile and excitement that no one else could ever hope to match. Who had never kept Kakashi waiting for anything in his life, and would often scold Kakashi for just being a few minutes late to their dates.

“Sensei,” Sakura’s voice called out to him, but he ignored it. His mind going a thousand miles a minute trying to figure out why Gai wasn’t there. Coming up with even more excuses and reason’s for why he was left standing there in front of a room full of people he didn’t even want there, waiting for his fiance. “Sensei!”

A hand came down onto his shoulders, shaking him lightly until he focused his attention on his student. Her face stern as she stared into his eyes.

“You’re panicking,” As if pointing out the obvious would suddenly get rid of the barrage of negative thoughts going through his mind. “Gai-Sensei will be here. I’m sure he has a good reason for being late.”

Somehow Sakura’s words don’t help him relax, though he does appreciate the effort. No matter how hard he tries to listen and believe her words, his mind refuses to cooperate.

I knew he’d realize it

Giving his head a shake, he pressed a hand over his left eye. A tactic that he had learned over the years to try and help himself through the panic. Just a little pressure to center himself into the real world.

I’m not good enough for him. He doesn’t want me anymore.

His hands started to shake. Fingers twitching against his face as the negative thoughts drowned everything else out. Silent, personal reminders of how he didn’t deserve Gai.

“Hey,” A pair of hands wrapped around his wrists, forcing him to open his eyes and look at Sakura once more. This time Naruto was standing directly behind her with a worried look on his face. “Sensei, he’ll be here.”

He knows she means those words. Her voice is serious and firm, trying to reach out to him when his own mind was against him, and he wanted so desperately to believe what she was saying.

Opening his mouth, words of protest start to form. Before he can get them out, though, the sound of laughter fills the air. Gai’s laughter, loud and bright, drowning out every word of doubt that had been swimming in his head just moments ago.

“I told you,” Sakura jabbed him in the side, chuckling when he glared down at her. “You worry too much, Sensei. Gai-Sensei will always show up for you.”

Warmth bloomed in his chest, stamping out the fear and pain as if they were nothing. The only thing his brain would focus on now was the laughter that he loved so much.

Fixing his eyes on the entrance to the field, he wished that there weren’t trees and fences blocking his view. Tenzo’s idea, of course. He had said something about adding a little suspense to Kakashi’s life, and he hated it. It wasn’t so much to ask to see the person he was going to marry, was it?

“Straighten up, Sensei,” Naruto finally spoke up, beaming when Kakashi looked his way. “You want Bushier-brows Sensei to see you excited for the wedding, don’t you?”

Straightening himself up, Kakashi forced his hands out of his pockets and forced them down to his side.

“Maybe not that straight,” Sakura giggled behind him. “Now you look like you’re getting ready for Tsunade-sama to give you a mission.”

That wouldn’t do.

Taking a deep breath, he relaxed his shoulders and focused on the entrance that Gai would come through. The spot where he’d finally get to see his partner. That stunning smile shining as bright as ever towards him, and eyes that screamed ‘home’ when he felt lost and confused about where he belonged.

A blaze of green came rolling into view. The wheels of Gai’s wheelchair screeching to a stop dead center of the entrance, with green and purple ribbons attached to the handlebars and arms swaying in the wind.

Gai’s chair was a celebration of colors, and no doubt drew in a few eyes from the audience, but all Kakashi could look at was the person he was going to marry.

A bright, proud smile. So wide that he could see every single tooth in Gai’s mouth. Eyes soft and kind, staring at Kakashi as if he was the only person there, with a misty look in there that told him his partner was already close to tears. Slowly, making sure that Kakashi was watching him the entire time, Gai raised up his left arm and stuck out his thumb in his signature pose, and for the first time since he had arrived that morning, Kakashi laughed.

Happy and warm, he turned his face away from Gai and brought a hand up to wipe away the tears that had started to pool in his eyes.

He knew why he had panicked, but standing here now with Gai sitting at the entrance smiling at him, he couldn’t imagine how he had ever believed the things his mind tried to tell him. Gai, who had always been by his side. Who refused to leave him even when he tried so desperately to push him away, choosing not to get married to him.

Deciding after all of these years that he could do better, and leaving Kakashi at their wedding alone and broken. It was all so ridiculous now that he thought of it.

“Sensei,” Naruto’s face appeared directly in front of him suddenly. “Are you crying?”

Usually, he would scold Sakura for punching her teammate at such an important event, but he was willing to let it slide this one time. She had held back her punch, only hitting Naruto hard enough that he was forced to take a step back, and she immediately started lecturing him about giving their Sensei his personal space and not embarrassing him on his wedding day.

He really did appreciate the support.

“That’s enough, you two.” using the bottom of his palm to wipe away the last bit of tears, he looked back down the aisle to Gai and finally took in the full image. Rather than wearing the brilliant green Hanfu that Kakashi had helped him pick out just a few weeks ago, Gai seemed to have gone with a stunning green silk dress instead. Form-fitting and showing off his arms and legs perfectly, it was patterned with two different shades of green swirled around each other along the length of the dress. The neckline dipped down into a V-neck, highlighting Gai’s chest.

The feeling of a small weight landing on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts, forcing him to drag his eyes away from Gai and to the small pug dog getting comfortable there on his shoulder.

“Shouldn’t you be guarding the perimeter?” he asked, certain that he had made Pakkun’s mission objective clear for the wedding. ‘Make sure that no one did anything stupid.

Pakkun was the only one he trusted to keep everyone in line, especially later in the evening when Alcohol entered the mix.

“You do know that ‘Make sure no one does anything stupid’ includes you, right?” Some would call it fate that Kakashi had connected with the sassiest little shit of a hound dog in the page, but Kakashi liked to consider it divine torture. Someone in the universe was laughing their asses off at him every time he talked to Pakkun, and one of these days he was going to find them and stab them. “You look like you’re about to jump Gai, and it’s my job to make sure you keep your hands to yourself until the ceremony is over.”

“Have I ever told you that Bull is my favourite?”

“Don’t lie to my face just because you’re mad you can’t tackle Gai,” Reaching out a paw, Pakkun shoved it against Kakashi’s masked cheek. “Now pay attention. He’s headed your way.”

Returning his attention to Gai, Kakashi smiled when he saw him making his way towards him. Tenten right behind him carefully pushing his wheelchair, and Ningame in front of him.

It had sounded so weird when he originally suggested including their Summons in the wedding. He had thought Gai would laugh at him and tell him that they could just use their students or other shinobi for the jobs he wanted to give Ningame and the hounds.

But Gai had smiled that soft beautiful smile instead and told him that he loved the idea. Indulged him when he wanted to add something personal and interesting to the wedding.

“Hey,” Pakkun smacked his cheek, this time a hint of claws coming out to poke him. “Stop zoning out.”

Right.

He was getting married. To Maito Gai of all people.

Keeping focus was important.

“Rival,” Gai came to a stop at his side, his bright smile shining up at Kakashi as he waved Tenten off to take her place by his side with Lee and turned his chair to face his Fiance. Soon to be husband. “Sorry for keeping you waiting. I had a little trouble deciding what i wanted to wear today.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I think you made the right choice,” reaching out, he gently brushed Gai’s hair behind his ear. Chuckling when he leaned into the touch. “You brought the Hanfu just in case, right?”

“Tenten has it sealed away in a scroll,” He assured him. “You didn’t worry too much while you were waiting, right?”

“Not at all,” he could hear Naruto and Sakura snickering behind him. Giving away all of his secrets to Gai without saying a single word. He’d have to deal with them later. “Just excited. I finally get to marry Konoha’s beautiful Green Beast.”

Gai’s laughter filled the air once more. Beautiful, warm laughter that made Kakashi’s chest bloom with excitement.

After all of those years of putting it off. Promising that they’d get around to it once there were no more missions and wars, and almost losing Gai to the eighth gate, he was doing it. Committing himself to Gai for the rest of his life. Finally, he was done waiting. Today was the day he married Gai and started the rest of their lives together.

He couldn’t wait.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Meet My Eternal RivalAU: Iwa Gai Au

Words: 2608

Rating: General

Characters: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai

Warnings: None

Summery: Kakashi always knew that there would come a day where his new Genin team would end up meeting Gai. He was just hoping for a little extra time, and some support from his favourite summon.

Made with lots of help from @sakura-rpblog and @thegodsaregay

Peace and quiet. It wasn’t something Kakashi was used to having anymore. Ever since Lord Third had given him his latest genin team, his days had been filled with squabbling, endless questions, and more headaches than he had ever had in his life.

When Gai had told him that becoming a Jonin-Sensei would make him feel more complete, he had clearly forgotten to warn Kakashi about the unruly nature of pre-teens. Something he’d be more willing to scold the man for if this wasn’t one of the few chances they had to spend together.

The last thing he wanted to do was ruin their moment complaining about his genin team. All he wanted to do was cuddle up close to Gai and fall asleep. Forget about all of the responsibilities he had to deal with for just a little while.

Of course, it was never that easy. Maybe if he was back home in Konoha, relaxing in the arms of another Leaf shinobi, it would be different. But this was Gai.

The great green beast of Iwagakure.

Responsibilities and loyalties never left his mind when he was here in Gai’s arms. Stealing away a few hours where they weren’t enemies. Those rare, precious moments where the two of them could simply enjoy each other’s company and relax.

“So,” Gai rested his chin on top of his head and chuckled when Kakashi looked up at him. “You haven’t told me anything about them yet.”

Ruined. All of his plans for a nice relaxing day, completely ruined.

Keeping a calm façade, he stretched his arms over his head and groaned. “They’re the worst,” he whispered. “I mean, they’re amazing. I adore the brats, but they’re the absolute worst. One can’t stop pulling pranks and doing anything he can think of to try and get attention, the other doesn’t want anything to do with anyone but is at least smart enough to try and work as a team, and the third…”

Actually, there weren’t many complaints he had about Sakura. Her crush on Sasuke was a little annoying at times and certainly distracted her from her training, but otherwise, she was a good student. Attentive and driven, and always trying to put a stop to the fights between Naruto and Sasuke.

“You should have warned me,” he huffed, collapsing back into Gai’s lap and resting his head against his stomach. “Sometimes I think you just assume everyone’s as good with people as you are. You just...forget that I’m anti-social.”

His jab is met with a laugh. Loud and beautiful, just as it always was. How he wished he didn’t have to leave Gai’s side again. That he could just lay here and listen to that laugh for the rest of time. No other worries on his mind.

“I’m sure as difficult as you make them out to be, you’re doing wonderfully as a Sensei,” the feeling of Gai’s hand settling in his hair sent shivers down his spine. “I’ve had to battle you myself. I know that you have a lot to teach them.”

Well, at least someone believed in him. He certainly didn’t most days.

“Speaking of. Did you leave someone to watch over them while we’re together? I hope you didn’t leave your team alone, Rival.”

“Pakkun and Akino are with them,” He assured the other man. “I took a page out of your book on that one and decided to trust my summons to watch over them. Maybe they’ll actually do something to stop them from finding us.”

Not that he really blamed Ningame for not trying to stop Gai’s students. They had a right to know about what their Sensei was up to when he disappeared on them. He was just thankful that Gai was able to convince all three of them to keep what they had found a secret, and that they didn’t try to attack Kakashi.

He’d feel bad if he had to beat up his boyfriend’s students.

“It’s too bad,” tilting his head back, he stared up at Gai. A little confused about why he would say something like that. “I wouldn’t mind meeting the kids who were making my love’s life so difficult that he feels the need to complain about it. Someone has to tell them that they’re doing a good job.”

“Meh, one day,” when things weren’t so difficult. When the villages could maybe get along and work together as Obito had always dreamed. Then he’d be able to introduce Gai to his team. “Until then, we should enjoy the time that we have together. Who knows when we’ll be able to sneak away again.”

It was a little disappointing that they didn’t have much to do. If he had known beforehand that Gai would be nearby, he would have packed some snacks for them to have a mock picnic. Or he might have brought a present from Konoha for Gai to enjoy. He always liked Dango when Kakashi brought it, and seeing him chomp into the sweet treat was always an experience for Kakashi.

Still, he appreciated that Akino had told him he smelled a familiar shinobi nearby. He hadn’t actually told Kakashi who it was, but that playful look on his face had told him all he needed to know.

Reaching up, he poked Gai’s nose playfully. “Thank you,” he whispered, chuckling when Gai responded with a confused look. “You didn’t have to meet me.”

A soft expression appeared on Gai’s face. His eyes staring down at Kakashi with a fondness that Kakashi wasn’t used to seeing from anyone else. “Our moments together are often fleeting and rare,” he reminded him while gently running his fingers through his long silver hair. “I wouldn’t give up a single one of those moments for anything. So long as I am able to meet you, I will,” Leaning down slightly, he pressed a kiss against Kakashi’s forehead, as if the action cemented his words into Kakashi’s mind. “No matter the risk.”

Oh, and how much risk there was. Tenzo had almost given Kakashi up the one time he found him with Gai during their Anbu days, which would have quickly led to Kakashi following a very similar path to his father. Disgrace falling on his name, and the hatred of those he had lived for years to protect weighing down on his soul.

He had been lucky enough that Tenzo liked him. That he had trusted Kakashi when he assured him he’d never betray Konoha, not even for Gai. No matter how much it hurt his heart, or how he longed to just give up and find his place by Gai’s side.

The same couldn’t be said of his students. If they believed for even a second that their Sensei could no longer be trusted, they’d be in the right to tell Tsunade-sama about his private meetings with Iwagakure’s great green beast.

“Naruto!” Sakura’s voice cut through the air, and Kakashi’s body stiffened against Gai. His stomach twisting into knots as everything he had been trying to avoid came heading straight for him. “Naruto! You can’t just go running off! If Sensei…”

“If Sensei cared, he would have stuck around at the camp with us,” that was on him. He really should have known that Naruto would take his absence as a chance to act out. It was what he was known for. “Besides, he might be in trouble.”

Gai snorted above him.

“Should we…” It wasn’t preferable, but if he could at least look like he wasn’t cuddling up to the enemy, it was a win. Right?

Crawling off of Gai’s lap, he sat up in his spot and sighed. Was it really so much to ask for just a little time with the other man? Just a few hours uninterrupted for them to enjoy each other’s company? Without Kakashi having to worry about the fall out of being found with an enemy shinobi.

“Naruto!” Sakura’s voice called out once more as a blur of orange burst through the bushes and came to a hard stop in front of Kakashi and Gai, a familiar grin plastered on his face.

“There you are, Sensei!” Throwing his arms behind his head, Naruto chuckled. “You’re getting easier to find. Are you even trying anymore?”

Holding back the urge to yell at Naruto about learning some patience and staying at the camp where he left them, Kakashi slowly gathered himself to his feet and dusted his pants off. “Congratulations, you found me,” he responded with a bland, bored tone. “Now that this little game is done, we should head back home.”

“Sensei, you don’t sound so...oh!” Naruto’s eyes widened when he finally spotted the man beside Gai. “Hello.”

“Hello.” Gai waved back at him, chuckling when the other two finally caught up and landed by Naruto’s side. As soon as they had come to a full stop, Sakura lifted up a hand and brought her fist down across the back of Naruto’s head hard.

“I told you not to go after Sensei like that,” She scolded him. “He was clearly in the middle of something important!”

Glancing back to Gai, Kakashi couldn’t help but smile when he saw him staring at his students. It wasn’t how he had wanted them to meet, but just seeing the amused look in Gai’s eyes was worth it, and he had no doubt Gai would have some things to say about his students the next time they saw each other.”

“Though,” Sakura spoke up once again, her eyes zeroing in on the headband around Gai’s waist. “Why are you speaking with an Iwagakure Shinobi, Sensei? I thought the only village we got along with was Suna?”

Just what he didn’t want to deal with.

Surely he could just tell his team that he was on a mission. Doing some information gathering, and the informant he was meeting happened to be a shinobi from Iwagakure.

They would believe that, right?

“I think we’re done here. You got what you needed and I have to get back to my current mission,” Glancing back over at Gai, he watched as he gathered himself to his feet and smiled his way. “Until next time?”

“Until next time,” Gai agreed, disappearing from in front of them and into the woods.

Watching Gai leave was the worst part. They had no idea when they’d be able to see each other again, and if they were lucky enough to find themselves close to each other once again they had no idea if they’d be able to get away from their teams to spend even just a few precious moments together.

He hadn’t even been able to say a proper goodbye. With a kiss and a promise that they’d keep in contact. That they’d find their way back to each other’s sides again.

If something happened to one of them on another mission, it would be an empty goodbye. Something that Kakashi would never be able to take back, and all because he had to act like a good soldier.

Loyal and true to Konoha, even when his heart called out for him to stay with Gai.

“Why were you hanging out with an enemy shinobi?” Sakura asked, looking up at Kakashi with bright green eyes. “Were you...What…”

“Isn’t that obvious?” His heart dropped when he heard Sasuke scuff. This was it. The moment that he had been dreading since he had summoned the hounds and gone out to meet Gai while his students were sleeping, and he still had no idea how he was going to try and explain it to them. “Sensei got a mission while we were out. He was probably just getting information from that weirdo.”

Blinking, Kakashi glanced back down towards Sasuke. It was out of the norm for him to cover up for anyone else, and there was no way he honestly believed that Kakashi was there to gather information.

Making his way towards his students, Kakashi reached out and buried his hand into the Uchiha’s hair and laughed. Soft and happy, even as his heart broke a little knowing that he wouldn’t be able to see Gai for a long time.

“It’s always nice to know that you’re so observant,” He smiled. “I’m sorry I had to leave you behind. It was the only opening that we had to meet. Now, where are Pakkun and Akino?”

Surely they hadn’t left the kids unattended. They never failed Kakashi before.

“Oh, they’re back at Camp,” Sakura offered, smiling when she saw Kakashi frown. “Pakkun said it was your problem for running off and leaving them in charge of us. Muttered something about being able to catch us easily if he wanted to as we left.”

Of course. Pakkun always chose the worst times to try and teach him a lesson.

“I guess someone’s not getting the treats I promised him,” he grumbled. “Now let’s get going. We still have two days of running before we’re home.”

Dropping his hand from Sasuke’s hair, he turned away from his students and started to walk back towards the small camp that they had set up. Maybe during his next solo mission, he’d be able to sneak away for a bit.

Get a little more time with Gai. Just a few hours. Maybe even a day if he was lucky.

It wasn’t asking too much. Just one uninterrupted visit. No students or teammates to show up unannounced.

Arriving back at the camp, Kakashi waved a hand when Pakkun and Akino turned to look at him. “Yo. Hope You didn’t miss us while we were gone.”

“Akino might have gotten into your pack,” Pakkun commented, resting his head on his paws as Kakashi walked past him. “You left the dog treats, so he decided to help himself.

“Of course he did,” stopping beside the hound in question, Kakashi sighed when he was greeted with the biggest set of puppy dog eyes he had ever seen Akino pull off. “How is it that you can look so innocent when I’ve seen you tear enemies apart with your teeth?”

“Ewww,” Naruto complained, running past him towards his pack. The only one that wasn’t already put together and ready to go. Both Sakura and Sasuke simply had to pick their packs up off of the ground and they were ready to go, but Naruto’s sleeping bag was still laid out on the ground waiting to be rolled up and put away. “Gross, Sensei.”

“We’re shinobi,” Sasuke scolded him. “That’s part of our job. Killing the enemy. Just like the fight we had against Haku and Zabuza.”

“I know that!”

Tunning out the argument, Kakashi turned back towards Pakkun. “So, were they already before they ran off to find me?”

“They were their usual selves,” the pug huffed. “That’s not the most important question though,” raising an eyebrow, Kakashi waited for Pakkun to fill him in on what the ‘important’ question was. “How was your date with Gai?”

The sound of bags dropping back to the ground echoed in his ear, as well as Naruto screaming ‘Kakashi-Sensei’ at the top of his lungs while sounding like he had just been stabbed in the back.

There was no going back. He was going to have to explain everything to the three of them now.

“No treats for a month,” he growled at his favourite summon.

For a moment, Pakkun looked like he was about to argue. However, with one look towards the three kids standing behind Kakashi trying to figure out how they were supposed to respond to this new information, he gave Kakashi a smug look. “Worth it.”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

What’s So Great About You?

AU: Bakery Au

Words: 1399

Rating: Teen

Characters: Kabuto, Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Karin, Suigetsu

Warnings: None.

Summary: No matter what he does, Kabuto can’t seem to get his business to surpass that arrogant jerk Hatake’s, and to make matters worse Hatake has made a habit out of visiting his small bakery to ‘check-in on them’.

@kakashiswilloffire

The business was up. More people were coming through the door, baked goods were flying off the shelves faster. He’d even had to hire a new staff member to help support them while Karin and Juugo worked in the back making all of the goods.

So why wasn’t he happy?

More business was good, but it didn’t feel like enough.

“Hey, boss,” Karin stuck her head into his office, a smile on her face that screamed trouble. “Your favourite douchebag is here.”

Hatake Kakashi, the bane of his existence.

Organizing his paperwork back into one neat pile, he pushed his chair away from the desk and stood up. It would be rude of him not to pay a visit to the man, even if he did hate his guts.

“What’s he buying today?” He inquired, following Karin out of the office and towards the front of the shop. “More cupcakes? Or is he acting like he needs another loaf of bread today?”

“Actually,” stopping in front of the door that would lead them to the front, Karin turned to face Kabuto and beamed. “He ordered a cake a few days ago. Gave us lots of time to make it for him,” A cake? Why hadn’t Kabuto heard about this? “Juugo didn’t want me to tell you. He said if you found out about it you might do something to it.”

Do something to it? Why would he ruin a paying customer’s cake?

Actually, now that he thought of it the cake would probably taste a lot better with poison. Surely it would solve two problems. Hatake would get a great-tasting cake, and Kabuto would never have to see his charming, smug face again.

“See, this is why Juugo didn’t want me to tell you,” Karin scolded, reaching out and flicking his forehead. “No contemplating murder. It’ll just get us shut down for health violations.”

“Murder is hardly a ‘health violation’,” Kabuto argued. “More of a...legal hiccup.”

“Legal hiccup, health code violation, I don’t really care. I actually like working with Juugo…”

“And Suigetsu?”

Karin narrowed her eyes. “He’s lucky he’s alive. Why you hired him I will never know, but…” waving a hand in front of her face, she sighed. “That’s not the point. I’m not keen on looking for a new job, so no killing the customers. Even if they are charming, handsome rival bakers.”

“I never called him handsome.” Kabuto frowned.

“But he is, so go play nice and make flirty comments or whatever. You know, the usual.”

The ‘usual’ was more along the lines of Kabuto making snarky comments about Hatake’s old family-style bakery and Hatake throwing back a few quips about how modern bakeries were ‘boring’ and had ‘no life’ while complimenting the products he had for sale. All while spending his own hard-earned money at Kabuto’s bakery when he had a bakery of his own, with a fine selection of treats that he could snack on free of charge.

“Oh, just get out there,” Karin opened the door and pointed towards the front. “Before I kick you out.”

“I’d fire you on the spot.” He narrowed his eyes towards Hatake, watching as the man gave Suigetsu his payment, and picked up the cake box on the counter in front of him.

“You’d lose your best baker,” Karin argued. “Now go.”

Not wanting to continue this little argument, Kabuto stepped through the door. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as soon as Hatake glanced his way.

“Look who made it into the light,” How he wished he could smack that smirk off Hatake’s face. Nothing would bring him greater pleasure. “Come to say hello? Or did the snakes and spiders in your office start talking back to you already?”

“Very funny,” Kabuto sneered. “As if you’re not the one in someone else’s bakery. Did Yamato forbid you from stealing snacks while you were doing paperwork?”

“Meh, I just need a change once in a while. You know, something subpar to remind me of just how good my bakers are,” Narrowing his eyes, Kabuto seriously started to contemplate murder at that moment. It wasn’t like anyone would miss Hatake, right? “Besides, if I had this cake made at work Naruto would have told my partner what to expect. Would have ruined the surprise, you know?”

Ok, someone might miss him.

Surely they wouldn’t miss him that much though, right? Only a masochist could possibly enjoy spending their days with such a smug bastard.

Leaning over the counter, Kakashi directed his next words to Suigetsu. “You uh…you didn’t let him poison this or something. Right?”

Suigetsu shrugged his shoulders. “Mm, I think Juugo made sure he didn’t touch the cake. Can’t be a hundred percent sure though. Never know what the boss is getting up to when I leave for the night. Sometimes I think he’s plotting murder in that office of his.”

Judging by the uneasy look on Hatake’s face, Kabuto had made a good choice hiring Suigetsu. A good dose of fear was good for the soul. Especially when it was Hatake suffering.

“I guess I’ll just have to give it a taste before my partner,” straightening himself up, Hatake glanced down towards the box. “Though I doubt you’d actually poison it. You’d miss me if I went and died.”

Cute.

He thought Kabuto actually cared about him.

“Come on Kabuto,” He pressed, chuckling when Kabuto responded by placing a finger on the bridge of his glasses and shoving them back up to their spot in front of his eyes. “You would miss me. Admit it.”

“I would go to your funeral with a party hat and more alcohol than you could ever imagine,” he responded blandly. “What could ever possibly make you think I would actually miss you?”

“You’re the second best bakery in town, even though you’ve only been open for a year,” Point. He had made his bakery quite popular in the short amount of time it had been open. “If I die, my bakery goes down. Sure you’d be at the top of the chain, but is that really the way you want to win? Is there any honour in that?”

He hated that Hatake was right.

It burned his soul to know that the bastard actually had a good reading on him. The only good victory would be one where he surpassed Hatake’s bakery in sales and popularity and the smug bastard had to admit defeat.

Tell him to his face that he had the better business model. That his bakery was superior.

Anything less would be an empty victory.

“Well, I’ll see you guys later,” Hatake winked. “I have a birthday party to get to, and everyone’s going to yell at me if I’m late. You know, since I have the cake.”

“I hope you choke on your slice,” Kabuto grumbled under his breath, huffing when Hatake simply laughed as he exited the little shop. “I hate him.”

“Huh,” Suigetsu flicked the little sign in front of his till that listed the deals of the day. “For someone, you hate so much, you sure do love coming out here to talk to him.”

First Karin, and now Suigetsu?

What did he have to do to get good staff who wouldn’t call him out like that? Was it really so much to ask that he be allowed to be bitter? To hate Hatake’s guts without question?

“You know,” Suigetsu continued, a cruel smile on his face when Kabuto glared at him. “Next time you should go to his shop. He spends so much money here. Isn’t it good to support other bakeries?”

Turning his back to the kid, Kabuto huffed. “Don’t you have some pastries to organize?” He grumbled, making his escape to the back. As far away from Suigetsu’s teasing as possible.

He’d never spend his money at Hatake’s bakery. Nothing could make him step into that stuffy family-style bakery the other man had inherited from his father. It was just good luck and a long history that was keeping Hatake’s place as the top bakery in town.

Kabuto would fix that before long. He’d make his place more successful. More popular.

He didn’t need Hatake’s money to do it either.

Within the year he’d be celebrating his rise in sales and the utter humiliation of Hatake’s boring little bakery. He just knew it.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Answer Me This

AU: Soulmate

Words: 1875

Pairing: KakaYama

Warnings: None

Summary: Ever since he was young, Tenzo wandered about the mark on his chest. Now that he’s a bit older, with a lot less going on in his life to distract him, he decides to seek some answers from a trusted source.

For: My Kakayama loving followers definitely XD

Ever since he was a child Yamato had wondered about the mark on his chest. Once, when he was still young and naive, he had asked Danzo about it, hoping to find the answer he had been searching for since the first time he saw it in the mirror.

The only response he got was a gentle reminder of his job. That things such as the mark on his chest were of no importance and were best forgotten.

So he forgot about it. Focused his attention on his training and missions instead, only really remembering it during the odd time he’d see it in the mirror again. For years he was fine with that. Danzo always had more than enough work for him to do to keep his mind from wandering back to the mark, and even after he had left Root and joined Kakashi-senpai on Team Ro he was always busy.

Doing missions, training with his new team. All of it kept his mind off of the mark.

Until the day that Tsunade-sama finally pulled him out of Anbu.

I want you to lead Team Kakashi on their next mission.

Her words echoed in his mind whenever he was forced to deal with Naruto’s insubordinate attitude. Even at his worst though, Naruto wasn’t as distracting as back-to-back missions and training.

Now that he was a part of Team Kakashi, Yamato had time to think. To dwell on the things that he had ignored for years. The foods that he liked, the things he wanted to do during his time off, and the mark.

The one that kept staring at him in the mirror every morning after his shower. Sitting right over his heart.

Eight little paw prints starting at his collar bone and running all the way down to the center of his chest where a little scarecrow sat. Somewhere, deep inside of his brain, he knew the answer should be obvious. It just wasn’t coming to him for some reason, no matter how hard to search for the answer.

Now, sitting beside Gai in the training field watching as his Senpai set Naruto, Sakura, and Sai up for a spar against each other. He wondered to himself if it was alright to ask someone else.

If he was finally allowed an answer to the question he had refused to ask again for years.

“You seem like you have a lot on your mind,” Gai’s voice dragged him out of his thoughts, a bright smile greeting him when he glanced towards the older man. “What are you thinking so hard about? Surely it’s not the training Kakashi’s doing with his team. I know his methods don’t always seem the most proper, but they’re quite effective in the long run.”

Yamato couldn’t help but laugh. If there was anyone in the world who knew Kakashi’s training methods and just how interesting they could get, it was him. Years of being on the same team had introduced him to a variety of ideas Kakashi came up with to improve their skills, and not one of those ideas could be considered standard or even safe some days.

“No,” glancing towards the team, he smiled slightly. “I was actually thinking about something else. Something you might be able to help me with.” If there was anyone who could answer his question, it was Gai. Not only did he have a wealth of information, some of it from speaking to Kakashi a lot over the years, but he was also emotionally open and present. Regardless of what the question was, he’d be willing to answer it. “I was wondering...Well, when I was younger I noticed something on my chest. It’s not a scar, and I don’t think it could be considered a birthmark either, but I’m not really sure what it is.”

“Oh!” Gai’s eyes widened, a look of shock taking over his face momentarily before softening into a much more familiar smile. “You must be talking about your soulmate mark.”

“Soulmate mark?” Over the years he had heard whispers of such things. People huddling up close to show off a mark on their body to their friends and whispered guesses of who it could belong to. Never wanting to distract himself, he had left them alone to have their fun. But now that he thought about it he had always wondered if the mark could be representing someone.

As his mind started to wander, so did his eyes. Scanning towards the middle of the field, they lingered on his Senpai. Patient, kind, protective. Kakashi had been there for him since they were both kids. A small hint of light in a pitch-black world.

“It’s a mark that everyone has. A depiction of who your soulmate is in pictures or words. Something that’s supposed to give you a hint of the person you’re soul is joined to, without flat out telling you who it is,” Gai explained, his smile never leaving his face. “What does it look like? I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, of course. I was just thinking that if you only asked about this now perhaps you haven’t put too much thought into who it could represent.” He trailed off.

“Who-” his mind started racing. Trying to figure out who was supposed to be represented by the marks on his chest. No matter how hard he tried to think, though, only one answer came to mind. “-What if...I mean, if the person who it r-represents...what if they don’t want-”

Gai’s laughter cut off the rest of his sentence. Loud enough that he could feel all of Team Kakashi’s eyes on them suddenly. The kids probably wondering what was going on, and Kakashi-senpai was no doubt already making plans to interrupt.

If he was going to show Gai the mark, he had to do it fast. Before his Senpai showed up to interrupt them.

“Here,” turning to face Gai, he unzipped his Chunin vest and lifted his shirt so that Gai could get a good look at the mark. “I don’t know what it means. I mean, I have an idea but…”

“Oh,” Gai’s eyes widened after a moment. “Yamato, this is…”

“What’s going on here?” Shoving his shirt back down, Yamato turned to glare at the silver-haired man who had just appeared at his side without any warning. “What? Surely you’re not doing anything I shouldn’t be a part of. You wouldn’t leave me out of the fun, would you Tenzo?”

“It’s none of your business, Senpai,” he huffed after turning his gaze away from the older man. “Shouldn’t you be watching over Team Kakashi’s training?”

“They’re not going to kill each other if I look away for five seconds.” Ass if on cue, Naruto went flying past them. Sakura’s voice following shortly behind with an angry threat to his health if he ever repeated his last sentence. “Ok, they might kill each other, but it’s good for training.”

Good training.

Right.

“Anyways, you were showing Gai something,” Kakashi continued as if his student hadn’t just been punched through the air. “What was it?”

“None of you busi-”

“He was showing me his soulmate mark,” The sudden weight of the world came down on Tenzo’s shoulders. Of all the people to betray him in such an important moment, he had trusted Gai. “It’s really cute. It even has a scarecrow on it.”

“A scarecrow?” Peering up at Kakashi, Tenzo huffed when he saw him raise an eyebrow. “Is that why Shisui’s crows don’t like you?”

At this moment, Tenzo really hoped Shisui didn’t come bounding out of the trees to continue a rather terrible joke. The last thing he needed was those two going back and forth trying to outdo each other in the terrible humour department. He’d be here all day if they got started.

“Can I see it?” Kakashi’s question caught him off guard. He had barely wanted to show the soulmate mark to Gai, and now Kakashi wanted to see it? The one person his heart told him to hide it away from no matter what? “Come on, Tenzo. I won’t make fun of it. I promise.”

Curling his fingers into the bottom of his uniform shirt, he sighed. “Fine,” he whispered, finally meeting the other man’s eyes again. “But if you make one joke about it I’m going to”

“-not talk to me for the rest of the month. Yeah, I know.”

Huffing, Tenzo pulled his shirt up once more and watched as both Kakashi and Gai peered at the mark there on his chest. It was a little embarrassing sitting there and being stared at like that, especially when Gai reached out to touch his skin.

“I told you it was cute. The little paw prints leading to a scarecrow. You know, it sort of make’s me think of the hounds.” Tenzo felt his stomach drop. Suddenly it all made sense. The reason he could only think of one person when Gai asked him who his mark was supposed to represent, was because it was meant to lead him to that person. His soul mate was-

“Well, I think that’s enough slacking,” Kakashi straightened himself up suddenly and turned his back to the pair. “I should go check on the team. Make sure Sakura hasn’t actually broken all of Naruto’s bones.”

And with that, he was gone. Nothing but a puff of smoke left where he had just been standing moments ago.

“I-” He tried.

“Don’t worry about it,” glancing back at Gai, Yamato opened his mouth to say something. Unfortunately, words seemed to fail him at that moment. “Kakashi’s always like this when he has to deal with emotions. I’m sure you know that as well as I do.”

Yamato couldn’t deny it. In all the years he had known Kakashi, one thing was painfully obvious. The Copy Ninja would do anything he could to avoid having to deal with emotions until they became too much for him to ignore any longer.

Still, it didn’t leave him with a good feeling.

Now that he knew what his mark was, and who it was meant to be, he was left to sort all of the emotions that came with that revelation on his own. The only thing that he could hope for, was that Kakashi wouldn’t reject him.

“He’s not leaving you behind,” Gai’s words caught him off guard, pulling his attention back to the conversation in front of him. “I know what you’re thinking. Kakashi is hard to read sometimes, and it always sucks when he shuts us out and tries to figure things out on his own.” That was certainly true. Tenzo had always wished his Senpai would open up to him a bit more. Let him help where he could. “He’ll get there, Yamato. Just give him some time.”

Some time.

He could do that. It wasn’t like they didn’t have a lot on their plates to deal with right now anyways.

“Thank you, Gai,” Giving the other man his best smile, he stared at Kakashi in the distance. Watching as he separated Sakura and Sai from a verbal argument. “I’m glad to have you as a friend.”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

High School Crushes

AU: High School Au

Words: 1576

Rating: General

Pairing: Sakura/Lee

Warnings: None

Summary: Sakura and Kakashi are setting up for the LGBTQ+ club when an unexpected guest shows up, and Kakashi’s forced to watch awkward high school flirting.

Completed with help from @cryptic-summons

Counting the chairs that Sakura had set out, Kakashi wondered to himself if it would be enough. Surely there would be more than five people showing up today. Even if he stood, that only left four open chairs for new arrivals.

“You’re thinking too hard about it, Sensei,” Sakura tossed a plastic cup at his head, giggling when he shot a glare towards her. “I triple-checked the signup sheet. The only people coming are Kiba, Naruto, Hinata, Choji, and Tenten. We don’t need any more chairs.”

Four people. Surely that couldn’t be it.

“I feel like I’m forgetting something,” his brain was telling him that there was someone else he should be expecting, but no matter how hard he tried to remember a name wouldn’t come to him. “Oh well, I guess if an extra shows up we can just pull out another chair.”

“An extra!?” Sakura gave him a scandalized look. “Sensei! I bought just enough snacks and drinks for the people who were scheduled to come!”

Oh, right. The snacks and drinks.

Glancing towards the table, Kakashi sighed. There were exactly Six cups, and enough pizza to feed about six people, so Sakura wasn’t lying about having just enough for the people she was expecting.

He certainly had gone and picked the most organized person in his class to lead the LGBTQ+ club. At least he knew for sure that she would always have things under control, even during those days he might not be able to be there to help her with.

Still, his brain refused to let him rest. Trying desperately to remind him of whatever it was he was forgetting.

A sharp knock on the door forced him to forget about his memory struggles and turn to greet whoever it was that had arrived first. As he raised a hand and opened his mouth to say ‘hello’, the answer to his question finally hit him.

There he was, standing at the door.

The person he had forgotten to add to the attendance list so that Sakura could account for his arrival.

Rock Lee.

“Shit.” He muttered under his breath, cringing when Sakura glared at him.

“Language, Sensei,” she scolded him before turning her attention back onto the new arrival. “Hello, Lee-kun. Are you looking for something?”

Lee-Kun? Since when did Sakura refer to any of the other kids with an honorific? Usually, she just called them by their name, or in Naruto’s case there was a fond ‘Baka’ attached to her sentence whenever she mentioned him.

“Well,” burying a hand into his short black hair, he beamed at Sakura. A small hint of a blush painting his cheeks. “I was hoping to take part in the LGBTQ+ club that you were having. I tried to write my name down on the list, but by the time I confirmed with Gai-sensei that Taijutsu practice was on Thursdays now, the sheet was gone.”

Right. Gai had mentioned changing the day of his Taijutsu lessons so that Lee and Tenten could attend the LGBTQ+ club that Kakashi had finally managed to get approval to organize. He even mentioned that Lee was afraid he wouldn’t be welcome to join after missing his chance to add his name to the list that Sakura had put up just outside of Kakashi’s classroom.

Sakura was going to be upset with him for forgetting. She had put so much effort into making sure that everything was perfect for the club so that they could all sit down, share stories, and have a fun relaxing time.

And here Kakashi was, forgetting to inform her that there was actually one more person to expect.

“Oh,” Sakura’s voice cracked, and Kakashi couldn’t help but notice that she had brought her right hand up and started drumming her fingers against her left arm. Almost as if she was embarrassed. “I didn’t realize...Kakashi-Sensei we have another chair, right?”

Usually, he’d complain about being asked such a dumb question, but he was already thinking about all of the ways he could tease the poor kid about this later. He was willing to cut her some slack.

For now.

“I’ll find a chair, you two keep chatting.” with a wave of his hand he turned his back to them and headed towards the closet for an extra chair. Though, if Sakura thought they were getting some sort of ‘alone’ time because he happened to be across the room she was wrong.

They weren’t even bothering to try to keep their voices down.

“I didn’t realize that you would be in charge of the club. Sakura-Chan,” Lee’s voice buzzed with excitement. “What made you want to volunteer?”

“Volunteer,” Sakura huffed, and Kakashi was pretty sure she was throwing a glare his way at that exact moment. Thankfully, he was focused on getting a chair out of the closet without dropping something on himself. How Sakura had done it so easily, he would never know. “Kakashi-Sensei told me that I had to do it. That there was no one else suited for the job as well as me.”

And he stuck by his words.

“Well, I think Kakashi-sensei made the right choice,” He could just imagine Lee doing the signature ‘Maito pose’ that Gai had taught him. It was cringy and horrible and he loved that Gai had passed it down to his student so that future generations would have to suffer seeing it. “You’re the most organized person in our school. Plus you’re easily the friendliest.”

Kakashi snorted.

“What was that, Sensei?”

“Nothing,” turning his head, he smiled at the pair innocently. “I was just clearing my throat. Lots of dust in this closet you know.”

There was no doubt in his mind that Sakura didn’t believe him for a second, but he considered it a small victory when she didn’t press him for a better explanation.

“Well, I hope that I’m able to contribute something to the group tonight,” Lee continued as if Kakashi hadn’t interrupted him. “I’ve never really been part of a group that doesn’t have to do with Taijutsu or Soccer.”

“You’ll be an amazing addition,” Sakura smiled. “Well we wait for everyone else why don’t you have some pizza or a drink? You’re always working so hard so I’m sure you’re hungry.”

Finally wrestling a chair free, Kakashi turned just in time to see Sakura leading Lee towards the table she had set out with snacks.

“I thought you said we didn’t have enough for any extra’s.” he teased, a playful smirk on his face until Sakura smiled back at him with such innocence that he knew only the worst of thoughts could be running through her mind at that moment.

` “You were saying you needed to start a diet anyway, right Sensei?” A diet? What a rude little shit. “I’m sure you’ll be fine if Lee-Kun eats your share of Pizza.”

Great. Now he had to rely on Gai having made something actually edible for dinner after he had told him he would eat Pizza during the club’s get-together. Hopefully, he hadn’t made his signature ‘curry of life’ or Kakashi was going to bed hungry.

“You really are the best, Sakura-Chan,” Lee complimented her again as he picked out his Pizza slices. “Thank you.”

“You know, you should try out a new outfit one of these days, Lee-Kun. I mean, if you want to of course.” Kakashi wished he could disappear when he saw Sakura poke Lee in the side and giggle. This was not the Haruno Sakura he was used to. The girl who always teased him over his relationship with Gai, or had to speak her mind about whatever was happening around her. This Sakura was...timid. It was concerning.

“A new outfit?” Lee blinked, clearly confused by her comment. “But why would I…”

“The green tracksuit is cute, don’t get me wrong,” She corrected herself quickly. “I just think, you know, you’re always wearing the same thing. Wouldn’t it be cool if you tried on a new outfit?”

“A new outfit…” Looking down at his green tracksuit, Lee smiled slowly. “I guess i could try. Then I could just wear this when I’m training in the morning.”

Well, at least Sakura was improving Lee’s sense of fashion.

“I think I have some clothes at home that I haven’t gotten rid of yet. If you want you could come over and try them on. See if there’s anything you want.”

Kakashi felt like he was witnessing the worst attempt at flirting ever. Was this how kids asked each other out these days? Was there really no romance left in the world?

“You do have the best fashion sense,” Lee whispered, a smile slowly appearing on his face. “I think I’d like to take you up on that offer, Sakura-Chan.”

Kakashi was desperate to scream. To demand an explanation for how that worked.

He held his tongue though.

Seeing Sakura smiling proudly and Lee already starting to discuss the type of clothes he liked was well worth having to witness whatever messed up version of flirting it was that the two of them were doing.

“Hey!” Glancing towards the door, he sighed when he saw Tenten walking into the room, followed closely behind by Naruto, Kiba, Hinata, and Choji. Finally, his suffering could end. “Sakura, Lee! I hope the old man hasn’t been bothering you too much.”

Right, never mind. Tenten was here.

The bullying had only just begun.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Hello, Sensei

Word Count: 2532

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka

Warnings: Poor Flirting

Summary: Kakashi's in Konoha to have a chat with the Acadamy Sensei about a student exchange that he and the Hokage have disguised, but he's not expecting the man he's there to meet to be so... Handsome.

Konoha had never been a village Kakashi spent much time in. Even when he had visited to watch Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro in their chunin exam fight he hadn’t taken much time to appreciate the view. With too many things on his mind at the time, it was hard for him to look around at all of the things the village had to offer.

Now, as he made his way down the busy streets with the three of him by his side, he couldn’t help but look around and notice all of the ways in which Konoha was so different from Suna. Not just in terms of weather, which was a lot kinder on Kakashi’s skin than the harsh Suna sun, but the culture. How the shops were built, some of the things that were being sold, the variety of different foods that he had never tried before.

“You know,” Temari spoke up, smiling when he turned to look at her. “Maybe after this meeting, we can look around. Try some new foods or look at some of the shops.”

“I would like to see what kind of things they have to offer,” Kankuro agreed, a bright playful smile on his face when Kakashi glanced his way. “Maybe I can find something new to add to my puppets.”

“Or just something to decorate that dungeon you call a room,” Temari poked at him. “Maybe even something to wear yourself that’s a little less…”

“That’s enough,” stopping in his tracks, Kakashi watched as the three of them turned to look at him. “You two can explore if you want. You don’t need to sit in on this meeting.”

“You may be Kazekage, Nii-san, but you still need guards,” Temari huffed. “If we leave, someone might try to take off your hat and get a peek at what’s underneath, and we all know how you feel about that.”

Reaching up to touch the brim of the Kazekage’s hat, Kakashi smiled to himself. He wasn’t used to having his face out in the open. Growing up, he had always worn a mask or kept a hood over his head. It was a necessity according to the elders. One he hadn’t understood until the first time he saw Konoha’s Hokage, Hatake Sakumo.

“I’m sure Gaara can keep me safe on his own,” He looked at the shinobi in question, laughing when his eyes widened. “Isn’t that right?”

“I-of course,” Glancing towards his siblings, Gaara nodded. “I’ll keep him safe, don’t worry.”

“Good. Now, get out of here you two,” nodding towards the shops, he smiled when Temari and Kankuro gave each other a concerned look. “We’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Well, if you say so,” Waving a hand goodbye, Temari ran off with Kankuro hot on her heel. “Try not to get into too much trouble without us, Nii-san!”

Watching them go, Kakashi couldn’t help but smile to himself. It had been years since he had seen either of them with such a carefree attitude. Actually able to enjoy themselves, without feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders every second of the day. It was hard for him to admit, but there was no doubt about it.

They really were better off without Rasa-Sensei.

“Come on,” He turned back to Gaara. “I’m sure that this won’t take long.”

“Right,” falling into place by Kakashi’s side once more, Gaara continued to walk with him. For a second Kakashi was sure that they were going to fall back into a comfortable silence. Neither of them being much for talking, but as Konoha’s academy came into view down the street Gaara was apparently overcome with curiosity. “Why did you agree to this?” He asked, looking at Kakashi with big bright eyes. “Wouldn’t it have worked if you sent Temari or even Baki in your place?”

“It might have,” he agreed, and it had definitely been a thought that crossed his mind when he was talking to Sakumo about their little plan. “But I was told it would be best if the Kazekage made the appearance himself, and I happen to agree.”

Perhaps because the man he was agreeing with was so kind and understanding. Kakashi found it hard to say no to him when he showed so much trust in him. More than he deserved.

“You seem to trust him,’ Gaara continued. “The Hokage I mean.”

“I guess that would be surprising,” He hadn’t exactly been a fan of Sakumo’s growing up. After all, it hadn’t taken long for him to figure out why the elders hated looking at him. Why he was always made to wear a mask and told never to go near Konoha unless absolutely necessary, and even then he had to ensure his mask was in place and his hair was covered. One look at Sakumo told him more about his life than anyone in Suna ever dared to, including his own mother. “I have my reasons though, I can promise you that.”

“I see. I guess not everyone has a terrible relationship with their father,” Stopping in his tracks, Kakashi closed his eyes and prayed that there was no one around from Konoha that had overheard what Gaara just said. It wasn’t something he wanted to have to explain to strangers, and there was no doubt that Sakumo would have trouble dealing with the backlash if it was found out his child was a Suna shinobi. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Maybe just...don’t say that out loud?” he suggested. “It’s not common knowledge, and I’d rather not have it spread as gossip before we can figure out how to approach the issue.”

He’d already taken a huge step showing Sakumo his face. Exposing himself to the one person he had always thought he’d have to keep himself hidden from. Telling the rest of the world…

It just wasn’t something he was ready to do yet.

“We should get moving,” Gaara reminded him. “You’re meeting is in five minutes. You don’t want to make a bad first impression by being late.”

That was true enough.

Pushing his concerns back for the moment, Kakashi continued to walk. Headed straight for Konoha’s Acadamy, where he’d meet with the Hokage and the Acadamy Sensei he had chosen to take part in this little ‘student exchange’ that they had planned.

---------------------------------------------------------

What was Lord Fifth thinking?

Of all the people in Konoha to schedule a meeting with the Kazekage for, he had gone with Iruka. An Acadamy Sensei. The most he had to do with ‘diplomatic relations’ was when he worked at the mission desk and took reports from returning shinobi.

Scrubbing away today’s lesson from the blackboard, Iruka tried desperately to calm his nerves.

He dealt with Jonin level shinobi every day, yelling at them for handing in messy reports or scolding them for coming to him just to hand in their report when they were bloody and in need of a hospital visit above anything else. Surely it couldn’t be any harder to deal with the Kazekage.

At least, he hoped it was just as easy.

The soft tap of knuckles against his classroom door pulled him out of his thoughts. Placing the eraser down on the blackboard ledge, he turned towards the door and took a deep breath.

“Come in!”

This was it. Standing there watching as the door to his classroom slid open he knew that there was no escape. He was meeting the Kazekage. It was his job to explain the curriculum for Konoha’s Shinobi Acadamy and convince the Kazekage that it was worth allowing his future shinobi to experience for a week. He was not ready.

“Sorry I’m late,” The voice he’s greeted with is not at all what he’s expecting. It’s soft and cheerful, the complete opposite of how Naruto had described the Sand Shinobi he knew. “Had a little detour on the way.”

Pursing his lips, Iruka examined the person in front of him. Though, there wasn’t much to see. His face was covered by the large Kazekage hat sitting atop his head, and his body was nowhere to be seen under what could only be described as a blanket.

How did the Kage’s wear such garments? Didn’t it get hot? Especially in a desert.

“Uhh, Sensei?” Giving his head a shake, Iruka buried his hand in his hair and chuckled. This was not the time for him to be getting lost in such silly thoughts.

“It’s no problem,” he assured the Kazekage. “I was just cleaning up after a long day. Though I am glad you finally appeared. Lord Fifth asked me to make a detailed explanation of our curriculum to go through with you, and I’m afraid it may take some time. He explained that the two of you were thinking of doing an exchange program with the academy students. A week in the other village to see what their new allies learn in school and get a feel for their culture and ideas. Is that right?”

“It...yes,” there’s a hint of confusion in the Kazekage’s voice. “Uh, is it alright if we sit down?”

Looking around the room, Iruka cringed. He had forgotten to grab another chair for the Kazekage to sit in.

“Uh, ya. Just one sec,” bolting out of the room, he ran around the corner and into the next classroom, desperately ignoring the judgemental look he got from the kid standing just outside the classroom. The Kazekage’s guard, no doubt.

As soon as he was there, he pinpointed the teacher’s chair and headed straight for it.

Now that he had a seat for the Kazekage, he rushed back into his own classroom, stopping at the door when he saw the man already sitting on the edge of the front row bench where his students viewed his class from.

“S-sorry. I brought a comfier seat if you want,” Setting the chair down, he laughed awkwardly when the kazekage turned to look at it.

“I’m fine here,” Kicking himself for his mistake, Iruka made his way towards the seats. If the Kazekage was going to sit there, so could he. At least then he wouldn’t feel like he was talking to one of his students. Though, the man’s guard was no older than Naruto so it wouldn’t be that awkward. He could just pretend it was a parent-teacher conference.

“You said you had a curriculum written out to show me?”

Right. Heading back to his desk he snatched up the paper he had written down everything on and turned to face the Kazekage once more.

“I’ve got all of our lessons organized, along with a detailed explanation of what exactly I teach my students,” He began to explain. “There’s also time’s so that you know exactly what the kids will be learning at each part of the day, and how long we’ll be focusing o-”

His brain screeched to a halt when he finally looked up from the paper and back at the Kazekage just in time to see him starting to take his hat off. The kazekage, a man who no one in all of Konoha could describe because there was nothing to know.

His face was always covered, and his personality was just as guarded by simple sentences and short meetings, and here he was just taking off his hat in front of a complete stranger.

And if that wasn’t enough to make Iruka speechless, the Kazekage was handsome too.

With bright silver hair and sunken eyes, Iruka finds it impossible to tear his gaze away from the man. What’s worse is that he can’t even see the man’s full face, with his mouth and nose covered by a mask that left more questions than answers.

Why Lord Fifth had chosen him out of everyone for this task, Iruka still wasn’t quite sure, but it found it difficult to complain now that he knew that the Kazekage was one of the most handsome humans he had ever met.

Though, there’s something in the back of his mind that tells him the man looks familiar. Like he has looked into eyes just like that before or seen that exact type of spiky silver hair somewhere else, even though his mind refuses to pinpoint just where he recognizes them at the moment.

“Is everything alright?” His face feels like it’s on fire when he notices the Kazekage staring back at him, the smallest hint of a smile lighting up those gorgeous eyes.

“I-Yes,” desperate to get his mind off of the Kazekage’s handsome face, Iruka shut his eyes and held the paper with his curriculum out towards the man. “Everything’s on here. You can read through it and ask me any questions that may pop up or ask for more detail. It’s really just an outline at best and-”

The Kazekage held up a hand to silence him.

“I think I’ve got it,” his eyes closed. A familiar sign of a smile, even if Iruka still couldn’t quite place where he knew it from. “Though I would like to hear it from you. Otherwise, this meeting would be a waste of time.”

Right.

This was supposed to be his chance to prove that the Kazekage’s academy students would gain something from taking part in his classes. That’s why Lord fifth had scheduled this me-

“Lord Fifth!” Smacking his hands together, Iruka cringed when the Kazekage tilted his head. “I just...I mean…”

“You just realized that I look like Lord Fifth?” nodding his head, Iruka chuckled awkwardly. It was embarrassing to admit it had taken him this long to realize. After all, only Lord Fifth had such spiky silver hair and that closed-eye smile that put everyone at ease in an instant.

Though, that did bring up a whole lot of new questions.

“How about I explain it after you tell me about your curriculum,” the Kazekage offered, chuckling when Iruka stared at him with wide, hopeful eyes. “Perhaps over lunch?”

Lunch?

Was the Kazekage-

No, it couldn’t be. He was an Acadamy sensei. Surely the Kazekage of Suna didn’t want a date with him. He was just being nice. Trying to make friends.

“Is that an offer for a date, Lord Kazekage?” Closing his eyes, he kicked himself mentally. Of all the things he could have said, e had chosen that one. If the Kazekage had been asking him out on a date, he was certainly rethinking his proposition now that he knew just what a hopeless dork Iruka really was.

“Sensei,” being greeted with such a beautiful smile, Iruka can’t help but melt. Even if he can’t see the man’s mouth, he’s certain there’s no smile in the world that’s better than his. It’s impossible. “I’ve never had a chance to learn how to flirt, so perhaps I’m not getting it through correctly. I was asking you out on a date.”

Oh.

“Oh! I-Yes,” Never in his life had he had so much difficulty speaking, and he had just met the man. There was no way that this could get worse. He really hoped this didn’t get any worse. “I’d love that. If you’d like, I know a great place for Ramen.”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Ao3

In My Way

Au: Spy Au

Words: 1931

Rating: Teen

Characters: Hatake Kakashi and Sasori

Warnings: murder, Blood, excessive amounts of Sass. Graphic depictions of violence.

Summary: Kakashi has a job to do, but there’s a familiar face in the crowd that tells him it won’t be as easy as he originally thought.

Get into the party, take out the target, get out without being caught.

The mission was simple. Something that he could do with his eyes closed, except for one small detail.

Sasori.

The deadliest Toxicologist known among every intelligence agency around the world. His work with poisons was revered by every toxicologist, including Anko. Even if she refused to admit it.

His presence at the party, while a welcome sight to Kakashi’s eyes thanks to that beautiful black and the red suit he had chosen to wear, was a hindrance to his mission. Not because Sasori was doing anything to stop him from completing the job.

It was quite the opposite judging by the fact that he had just seen Sasori drop something into his target's glass mere seconds ago.

Their goals were the same, and he’d rather die than allow Sasori to get the pleasure of saying he killed the target.

Making his way through the small crowd, he set his eyes on the phone in his hand. A convenient distraction to use, typing away furiously to an imaginary friend as he collided head-on with the target.

Red wine spilled all down his front, staining the white shirt he had chosen to wear to the party and earning him the ire of his target.

“Would you watch where you’re-” Taking one look at Kakashi, the man cut himself off and immediately changed his demeanour. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize that you were there.”

If Kakashi was a weak-willed man he would find himself easily fooled by the soft tone of voice and the gentle touch of his arm. Thankfully he was trained for this exact situation.

“Sorry,” he laughed awkwardly, wanting his target to lower his guard. “I should have been paying attention. I was just…” His eyes darted down to his phone, a sad look crossing over his face for just a second before he plastered a smile on his face. “Never mind. Are you alright?”

“I’m not the one with red wine spilled down my front,” the target chuckled. “Your shirt is ruined.”

Feeling an arm coming down around his shoulder, Kakashi allowed the other man to turn him around and lead him towards a private table while chatting his ear off about the party and how much effort he had put into making it perfect. Something Kakashi forced himself to smile along with and listen to, even as he kept his eye out for Sasori.

This wasn’t going to be his only attempt, and Kakashi still had information that he needed to get before he could finally take care of the job himself. He just had to keep the man alive long enough to get that information, which meant keeping Sasori from slipping him any poison.

A task that was easier said than done given Sasori’s history.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Getting the target to trust him hadn’t taken long at all. For someone good at manipulating others, the man was just as susceptible to his tactics. Or he was just a sucker for a pretty face, and Kakashi didn’t have a pretty face.

Now he just had to get the man to spill the beans about some of the people he worked with.

“It sounds like a lonely job,” toying with the little umbrella in the drink he had been offered, Kakashi kept an eye out for any sign of Sasori. “Do you at least have any friends to keep you company? Or are you one of those people who thinks he doesn’t need friends?”

His target laughed, one arm resting on the seat behind Kakashi. “Friends are a hindrance in my line of work. I prefer to keep people at a length. Emotions are just another factor in the equation of life that I don’t want to have to deal with.”

A line he had heard far too many times over the years, from enemies and allies alike.

“Well, that just sounds like a lonely life to me,” Leaning forward on the table he forced himself not to cringe or lash out when he felt the man’s fingers playing with the edges of his hair. “No one to keep you company.”

“You could keep me company.” The offer is real, though Kakashi knows it would be only for a night if he were to take him up on it. Not that he needs to. He’s so close to getting what he wants.

Which makes it all the more annoying when he sees a familiar head of blazing red hair walking past acting like nothing is going on as he tips something into their target's drink.

Stubborn shit.

Leaning in a little closer to his target, Kakashi notched the charm up by fifty percent and gave him his best smile. “And what would that involve, hmm?” poking the man in the chest playfully, he chuckled when he was rewarded with a soft grunt. “Come on now. I can’t just jump in without knowing what I’m getting myself into.”

With little distance left between them, Kakashi used the distraction to push his target's glass back just a bit. Not knocking it off of the table, but shoving it right to the edge. Hopefully, his target wouldn’t realize and would take care of the rest for him.

“There’s a lot of things that it involves,” the target's smile sent shivers down Kakashi’s spine, though he kept a neutral expression on his face. “It could involve getting to know each other a bit better, some fun activities in private...” he brought a hand up to cup Kakashi’s cheek, cursing when his elbow collided with the glass of whiskey and sent it toppling over onto the ground.

“Oh,” tilting his head, he smiled when the target looked back at him. “I guess I’m not the only clumsy one tonight.”

Somewhere far away he could just imagine Sasori screaming into a napkin and cursing his name, and just that image gave him the strength he needed to keep flirting with the man in front of him.

He was going to get what he wanted no matter how damn hard Sasori tried to stop him.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Once he had finally gotten the target to start talking it was smooth sailing ahead. It had only taken a couple of drinks until he was just drunk enough to start talking. Three of which had been poisoned at some point by a very determined Sasori, but Kakashi had found a way to get rid of those ones without being too obvious about what he was trying to do,

It was honestly a little tiring. Trying to save his target’s life when he knew that at the end of the night the man would be dead anyway, regardless of if it was Kakashi or Sasori who killed him.

Just a bit more and he’d have everything that he needed.

“It sounds to me like you don’t get along with this guy too much. Why do you keep working with him if he’s causing you so many problems?” he asked innocently as he stirred his drink with the little umbrella.

“Best dealer in the business,” his target laughed bitterly. “Couldn’t find someone better no matter how hard I tried. And trust me, I’ve tried.”

So close. He could almost taste the successful mission.

Which of course was exactly when an interruption arrived in the form of a hand being slammed down on the table between them and furious brown eyes burrowing holes into his very soul.

“Can I help you?” tilting his head he met Sasori’s gaze head-on. This was not a mission he was willing to fail just because the redhead couldn’t take a hint and leave his target alive for five more minutes.

“You have been hogging the cutest guy in this whole party for the past two hours,’ that was not a response he had been expecting. “I get it, you’re adorable. You have a great smile, but you could at least share his attention.”

A great smile?

Folding his hands together Kakashi rested his chin on top of them and gave Sasori that ‘great smile’ that he had mentioned. “Isn’t there someone else you could bother for the attention your daddy never gave you?”

If looks were as deadly as Sasori’s poisons, he would certainly be dead right now. A well-deserved death of course, since the jab was a lot more personal coming from the son of Konoha Intelligence Division’s White fang. After all, anyone who knew Sasori was more than aware of his father’s death.

A death he had met during a mission gone wrong against the White fang.

“You think you’re all that, don’t you?” Sasori looked like he was ready to pounce, and Kakashi didn’t doubt that if he did there would be a poisoned Kunai in his hand. “You’re not even that good looking. I think he could do better.”

Lies.

He was drop-dead gorgeous.

“It sounds to me like someone’s just jealous he couldn’t catch the cute Guy’s attention. You really should lower your standards a little to match up with what’s achievable for you.”

He’s certain Sasori’s actually about to jump over the table and attack him after that one, but their target places a hand on each of their chests to hold them back. A precautionary measure that wouldn’t stop them if they decided to fight.

“Come on you two, there’s no reason to get nasty,” His words are slurred a little from all of the alcohol he has consumed, and the smile on his face is creepy and almost predatory. Just looking at it makes Kakashi shiver. “You don’t have to fight over me. We could always just share. You’re both very…”

No amount of information was worth hearing that sentence finished. Not that he would get the last bit of information that he wanted thanks to Sasori’s little interruption.

And since there was nothing else to be gained, Kakashi didn’t feel bad about unsheathing his hidden knife and plunging it into the man’s neck at the same time as Sasori.

It was messy, disgusting, definitely drew more attention than he would have liked, and yet oh so satisfying to finally put an end to that aggravating nails on a chalkboard voice.

“You ruined my mission,” He narrowed his eyes towards Sasori, sour that he hadn’t gotten all of the information that he had wanted. “You couldn’t have just waited another five minutes, could you?”

“And let you get a perfect mission while I've been cursing your name for the past two hours every time you managed to dump his drink or get rid of the poisoned donut even though I know you didn’t see me put it there? Not a chance.”

Donut? He hadn’t realized that the donut he had handed off to one of the man’s bodyguards to distract them was poisoned. It was a good thing the man had wrapped it up in a napkin and tucked it away in his pocket for later.

“Well, you got what you wanted,” scanning the area, he growled when he saw that everyone in the room had turned to look at them. “Anyways, congratulations on the kill. Hope your bosses are happy, don’t call me and I won’t call you.”

Planting his hands on the table, Kakashi heaved himself over it and made a run for the nearest window, praying that Rin had been paying attention the whole time and was on her way in to pick him up.

The quicker he got out of here, the less likely he was to have to deal with Sasori’s bruised ego.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Just One Scene, That’s All I ask

AU: Actors Au

Words: 1899

Rating: General

Pairings: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka

Warnings: None

Summary: It’s a routine at this point. To check their scripts, hoping for a hint of a scene with the other man. Even the smallest one. Yet, no matter how many times they look they can never seem to find one. So they decide to take matters into their own hands.

Flipping through the pages of his script was a normal occurrence for Kakashi. He wanted to know the scenes that he had, who he had them with, and if he could memorize the lines easily or if it would take a bit more work.

Getting ready for the more emotional scenes was important too. If need be he could make himself cry, of course, but the more warning he got before acting out those types of scenes the better.

Today, though, he was looking for a particular type of scene.

Something that he would be sharing with a cute brunette. Maybe a scene at Ichiraku Ramen with the two of them laughing over something stupid Naruto said.

Or a more touching scene where they reminisce about how Naruto used to be.

He didn’t dare get his hopes up for anything significant. The build-up in their characters’ relationship still had to happen, and oh how desperate he was for it to actually happen.

Him sweeping Iruka off of his feet. Saving him from the big bad of the day and then taking him out for dinner after everything was said and done.

Perhaps even making Iruka dinner.

Something.

Anything.

Slamming his script shut, he sighed.

No matter how many times he looked it over, or how hard he wished for something to change. For a hidden scene to just pop out at him and surprise him, it didn’t.

There was nothing. As usual.

“Is it so much to ask?” He spoke to the empty changing room, leaning back in his chair to stare up at the white ceiling. “Just one scene. Even a crumb would be better than this.”

Why were the writers so determined to keep Iruka and him apart? Did they know the chemistry would be too much?

We’re they afraid that the two of them would be a more popular pairing than Naruto and Hinata? It wasn’t their fault that Naruto couldn’t make up his mind about who he wanted to have the most chemistry on screen with. They needed to talk to him about that problem, not punish Iruka and Kakashi.

“Maybe I just need to show them,” he grumbled to himself, his brain already working on a plan. “They just need to see that Iruka and I would make a good on-screen couple. That we need more scenes together. Naruto’s dad and weird uncle. They can’t say no to that.”

With that decided, Kakashi sat up in his seat and sprang to his feet, determined to get to the writer’s room before they left for the day.

They’d see reason, they had to.

If they didn’t, Kakashi would have to resort to drastic measures

A fight scene between Naruto and Sasuke, a scene with Sakura and Ino mending their friendship, and a scene at Ichiraku Ramen with Team seven.

That was it.

There was absolutely nothing of interest.

Throwing his script down on the table, Iruka slapped his hands over his eyes and groaned.

“Every time,” he grumbled under his breath, wondering if the writers would ever take pity on him and give him the scenes that he wanted. “Why are they like this?”

“No scenes with Kakashi again?” Spreading his fingers open, he glared at Anko between the small spaces. “I don’t see why you’re complaining. We’re secondary characters if that. We’re lucky if we get screen time at all.”

That was true, and it wasn’t like he didn’t have other work to focus on. It was just that he had been looking forward to having a scene with Kakashi ever since the pre-chunin exam arc scene where his character scolded Kakashi for putting his students into the exams.

They could get a heated emotional scene that pitted them against each other, but not something more relaxed? With less on the line?

He wasn’t asking for that much, was he? Just a chance to show them the chemistry that Kakashi and he had. Prove to everyone that the two of them deserved more scenes together. That Naruto’s ‘Dads’ should become an official couple in the show.

“Jeez,” Leaning back in her seat, Anko sighed. “If you’re so pressed about it why don’t you go talk to the writers?”

Talk to the writers.

That was a genius plan!

“Oh, no. Iruka, I was joking.” Anko protested, but it was too late. Before she could even hope to stop him, Iruka was on his feet and headed towards the door.

The writers were going to get a talking to, and they were going to give him and Kakashi a scene together.

No matter how long he had to keep them back to get it, he wouldn’t leave until he had secured one scene.

It didn’t have to be the biggest scene, just something.

Anything.

Storming towards the writer’s room, Iruka reached out to grab the metal knob and swing the door open. A grand entrance before he laid his argument out for them. They wouldn’t be able to ignore that.

They’d have to give him what he wanted.

Except, before he could open the door he heard a familiar voice.

A voice that sent shivers down his spine.

Hatake Kakashi.

“One scene, that’s really not asking for so much,” Iruka couldn’t move. Refused to interrupt whatever it was Kakashi was trying to do, hoping against all odds that maybe Kakashi was there for the same thing he had come for. That he wasn’t alone in wanting more scenes with the other man. “It doesn’t even have to be a big scene. I’m not asking to take over the show. I just want one scene with him where we get to just be relaxed.”

“We’ve already planned out the next few episodes,” one of the writers spoke, her voice calm and friendly. “We don’t really have an opportunity to slap the two of you together randomly for a scene. It doesn’t work with the story progression.”

“But the story changes,” Kakashi continued. “There will be a chance where there’s an opening. A scene where maybe you could just...slip the two of us into the same room together. Let our characters talk.”

“That’s a long-winded way of saying ‘I want to date him but I’m too chicken shit to ask him out myself’” Mizuki’s voice was unmistakable. The playful taunting dripping in his words, begging to be punched in the face even if Iruka would regret it later when his friend bugged him about ‘over reacting’. “You want us to write you a scene with Iruka so you can flirt. Why don’t you just ask him out to coffee instead?”

“I-shut it!” Iruka could almost imagine the look on the other man’s face. A bright red blush creeping up his face and narrow dangerous eyes glaring daggers into Mizuki. “I’m just asking for one scene. Certainly, it can’t be that hard for you to write.”

Mizuki’s laughter filled the air.

“We’ll see what we can do, Kakashi-san,” Rin offered, a soft smile no doubt on her face as she tried to de-escalate the situation before Kakashi leaped over the table to attack Mizuki. “It might not be for a while though.”

“I’ll contain my disappointment,” the doorknob started to turn suddenly, but no matter how much Iruka wanted to make a run for it, he couldn’t. His feet were cemented in place, refusing to move an inch as the door opened in front of him. “Just try not to ruin it with another argument, please. We have enough of...oh!”

Standing there in front of him, with a surprised look on his face, was Hatake Kakashi.

Man of his dreams. The person he hadn’t been able to get his mind off of since their first scene together, and apparently the one who shared all of those feelings. Who wanted to have a scene with Iruka, just as badly as Iruka wanted a scene with him.

“Uh, hi,” Mizuki’s laughter echoed from the room behind Kakashi. “I was just…”

He had no excuse for being there. Nothing to say that would explain his presence and not embarrass him in the same breath.

“Coffee?” Kakashi blurted out, his face turning a deep red when he realized what he had said. “I mean…if you want. I could use some coffee, we could practice scenes together.”

The sound of a chair toppling over, followed by the hard thud of a body hitting the floor, told Iruka that Mizuki found this whole situation all too entertaining.

He wasn’t going to hear the end of it for weeks from his friend, and somehow he was alright with that.

“Coffee sounds great,” he smiled, leaning a little to the left and smiling towards all of the writers now staring at him and Kakashi. “Don’t think this gets you off of the hook though. He made a good point, and if you can write a cute scene with Asuma and Kurenai you can do the same for us.”

It’s what they deserved.

“So,” turning his attention back to Kakashi, his smile grew when he see the silver-haired hottie staring back at him with bright eyes. “Let’s get some coffee. My treat.”

It was the least he could do after Kakashi had argued so valiantly for them to have a cute scene together.

Coffee had gone well. So we’ll that Kakashi had mustered up the courage to ask Iruka out on a proper date. This time to dinner.

Then another date, to the movie theater where Iruka cuddled up against Kakashi’s shoulder halfway through the cheesiest romantic comedy Kakashi could have possibly chosen.

Then there was the water park, where Kakashi spent half the time goofing around and splashing Iruka.

More dinner dates, and a few relaxing nights at home.

Really, the last few months had been amazing. Kakashi had gotten a fantastic, handsome boyfriend and he had been enjoying himself so much that he had forgotten about that cute scene he so desperately wanted with Iruka before.

Until…

“A wedding!?” Iruka jumped up in his seat suddenly, the new script open in his hands and an excited look on his face. “Kakashi! Kakashi look!”

Having the script shoved into his face, Kakashi set his cup of coffee down and carefully took it from Iruka. Whatever the writers had come up with they certainly had done a number on Iruka.

Kakashi’s pretty sure he has never seen him this excited.

“Alright, let’s see.” reading the page that Iruka had open, Kakashi felt a smile pulling at his lips slowly as the words sank in. “Oh?”

A wedding. Naruto and Hinata’s wedding to be exact, but that’s not the scene that had gotten Iruka so excited.

It was the father’s speech. When Iruka’s character was set to stand up and talk about Naruto and all the ways he had grown over the years.

With Kakashi’s character there by his side, an arm wrapped around his waist.

“About damn time,” he whispered, lowering the script to smile back at Iruka. “It only took them two years.”

Rushing around the table, Iruka wrapped his arms around Kakashi’s neck and kissed him. Hard and passionate, and absolutely perfect.

Not even the sound of his dogs barking in the background, begging him to let them outside, could interrupt this moment for Kakashi.

He was in paradise, with Iruka here in his arms kissing him, and he was going to enjoy it.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

To The Future

Words: 1141

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai

Warnings: Mentions of War

Summary: Now that the Fourth Great Shinobi War is over, and everything has started to settle down, Kakashi and Gai decide what to do next with their lives.

for @alumort

The signs of war were finally starting to fade away from the world. People were no longer scared to wake up every morning, wondering if it would be the last day they opened their eyes. Those who had lost someone had done their mourning and were slowly starting to move forward with their lives.

Most importantly, Naruto had finally found his place. As the hero of the world, he was no longer living his life in hiding. Avoiding stray shinobi who may pass his way, wondering if he would ever even get to see the village he was born in.

The people of Konoha had welcomed him with open arms after the dust had settled. They were happy to have him call their village home, and with Sasuke by his side, he was happier than Kakashi had ever seen him.

Which was saying a lot for the kid who always smiled.

“You’re thinking hard,” A stick of Dango suddenly appeared in front of his face suddenly. “Want to talk about it?”

Examining the sweet treat he was being presented with, Kakashi took it from Gai and waited for him to roll his wheelchair to the other side of the table and settle in. “I was just thinking...what do we do next?”

Ever since they had left the village as kids, he had thought that was it. They’d made their choice and there was no turning back. No matter how much they may have missed their old home and the friends they had made there, they couldn’t go back. They were rogue shinobi.

Now their future wasn’t so black and white.

Tsunade-sama had removed their names from the bingo book, and their friends had invited them back in with open arms. If they really wanted to, they could retire in Konoha. Spend the rest of their lives in the village they thought they’d never be able to step foot inside of again.

“Well,” Holding his stick of Dango up in front of his face, Gai gave Kakashi his signature brilliant smile. “I certainly wouldn’t turn down easy access to my favorite Dango shop.”

Chuckling, Kakashi watched as Gai sank his teeth into the bright pink ball of Dango and pulled it off of the stick, enjoying the sweet taste of his favorite treat for the first time in years. Not that they hadn’t been able to get Dango from other places. Gai had just always had a soft spot for this little shop in particular, and he made that known every time they got Dango from somewhere else by complaining about how it just ‘wasn’t the same.

“Meh, I can see that,” Kakashi smiled fondly. “Still, we’re retired now. We should enjoy ourselves. Do something more...interesting.”

Narrowing his eyes, Gai swallowed the treat in one giant gulp. A mistake, judging by the pained look on his face when he started struggling for breath. It didn’t take him long to clear his throat and get the rest of his treat down, though, allowing him to focus his attention on Kakashi once more.

“I thought Tsunade-sama wanted you-”

“Did you really think I was going to take the job, Turtle?” It was hilarious that anyone thought he would take the role of Hokage. Even when Tsunade-sama had tried to convince him that the villagers would follow him. That he had proved himself a capable and strong leader during the war, he still turned down the job.

To be Hokage was Obito and Naruto’s dream. They were the ones who had hopes of changing the shinobi world and making it better, not him. All he wanted to do was relax finally. Enjoy a world in which he didn’t have to fight for his life any longer.

“So you actually managed to turn her down?” Leaning back in his wheelchair, Gai chuckled fondly. “I didn’t think you’d manage to do it. As much as you hate the job, you’re the perfect candidate for it.”

“Well, she’ll just have to find someone else.” tucking a finger under the top of his mask, he pulled the fabric down for just long enough to pop the first ball of Dango into his mouth. Once it was off of the stick, his mask moved back into place.

“I see,” Gai’s eyes softened. “In that case, we could go traveling.”

Traveling?

Swallowing the remains of his Dango, Kakashi tilted his head. They had talked about traveling throughout the years. All of the places they would visit if they didn’t have to worry about being attacked.

Things that they wished they had the chance to see.

“Mmm, but where would we go?” He asked. “And how long would we go for?”

Where would they return home to? They had no home in Konoha yet, and the little house they did have in the land of earth was so far away from everything.

“Kakashi,” focusing his attention back on Gai, he watched as he leaned forward, set his Dango down on the table, and placed his hands between them with his palms facing up. An invitation and one Kakashi was more than happy to take. Settling his own stick of Dango off to the side, he placed his hands in Gai’s, he smiled when calloused, worn fingers closed around them. “Does it really matter right now? We raised a kid by ourselves and he turned out alright.”

‘Alright’ was certainly an interesting way to describe the bundle of energy and unrestrained sunshine personality that was Naruto.

“We also survived a war. Two of them in fact.” it had been a close call, but they had both made it out alive against all odds.

“Exactly,” Gai’s laughter filled the small shop, bright and beautiful. “We deserve to travel don’t you think? Enjoy ourselves a little?”

It sounded like a dream come true. No more war, no more running. Just the two of them relaxing and enjoying their lives together. Something Kakashi had never thought he would live to see when he was younger, but now sitting here with Gai across the table from him he couldn’t imagine their lives playing out any other way.

“We could start here,” he offered, a little unsure of his own words. “There’s a lot of places we haven’t seen in a while. And when we’re done exploring Konoha-”

“Then maybe we could go on a trip,” Gai interrupted him. “Explore some of the places that we went to growing up,” There were a lot of places for them to revisit. No doubt it would take some time before they ran out of things to do, and by that point, they may finally know where they wanted to settle.

If they wanted to settle at all.

“Do you remember the place where we first fought?” A fond smile tugged at Gai’s lips. “If I recall, that was-”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Take Over For Me

AU: Suna Kakashi

Words: 1307

Pairings: Hatake Kakashi/Baki

Summary: In the middle of training with the Sand Siblings, Baki shows up to inform Kakashi of a change of plans.

For: @temarihime (you might get a giggle out of what I did you Temari XD) and @ricflairdrip20 (it's Kakabaki so you might enjoy it) and @simpingforgaara (who actually asked for it XD)

Wind from the east.

Puppets from the west.

Two attacks headed straight for him in different directions, both determined to strike their target with full force but destined to miss. With a quick shift of his feet, his right hand sparked with electricity as he narrowly dodged the puppets. Cutting the strings to stop the flow of chakra, he watched as they crumbled to the ground before taking a hit to the face from sharp winds.

“Got you!” Temari threw a hand into the air, a victorious smile on her face for a second before the man she hit disappeared with a burst of electricity and annoyance replaced excitement. “Oh, come on!”

“You have to be quicker than that.” a pair of arms sprang out from under Temari’s feet, grabbing hold of her ankles and dragging her down under the ground before she even had a hope of fighting back.

Two down, just one to go.

The hardest one of the three too. Kankuro’s puppets were breakable, Temari’s wind was avoidable, but Gaara’s sand?

His eyes darted to the side, an arm coming up to guard his face as a wave of sand came crashing against him with enough force to shove him over.

“Damn it.” rolling into the fall, he sprang back to his feet just in time to block another incoming attack. This time heading directly for him from the front, crashing into his chest with a heavy blow.

Thankfully, even with Shukaku inside of him, Gaara was still a genin. Relying on the power of his tailed beast more than his own skills. So while the attacks certainly hurt it didn’t take long to figure out how to successfully dodge them.

When the next attack came, he moved to the side just in time to let it fly past his head, sand grazing the side of his mask as he charged forward for an attack. Unsheathing his sword, he readied himself for the strike, only to see an unexpected variable appearing in front of him.

Digging his heels into the ground, he came to a hard stop directly in front of the newcomer, his eyes narrowing behind his mask. “Is there something that I can help you with, Baki?” he asked with a slight growl, noting that Gaara was still standing behind the man. His sand returning to his gourd when he noticed that their training had been put on hold.

“Kazekage-sama requested your presence,” unsurprising. Rasa-sama would be the one to assign him to train his kids for the day, only to change his mind and summon him back to the Kazekage mansion before they’d even finished. “It seemed rather important.”

“I’m sure it’s just a mission,” relaxing his posture, he placed his sword back in its sheath once more. “And things were just starting to get interesting too.”

“Interesting?” Baki peered around his body, an unimpressed look on his face as he watched Kankurou attempt to dig Temari free from the ground. “Is that what you call it when you bury Suna’s princess in the ground so that only her head is visible? Most people would call that treason.”

This was the thanks he got for training Rasa’s children. Judgement and accusations of treason.

“If they’re going to learn how to survive in the world outside these walls, they’ll have to deal with some embarrassment along the way,” he reasoned. “And if they don’t want to end up dead on their first mission, they’ll learn how to avoid even the most deadly attacks. I wouldn’t be doing them any favours by going easy on them.”

It was a vicious way to look at the world, but in his experience the world was cruel. Any weakness would be taken advantage of in the heat of battle, and before they even had the chance to make a name for themselves they’d be dead.

Stone slabs in an ever-growing graveyard.

“Anyways, I should get going. Rasa-Sama always gets angry when I’m late,” As if it’s ever really his fault. The Kazekage always had him doing too much, yet expected him to appear in front of him at a moment’s notice. As if he didn’t have other Shinobi at his disposal. “They still have a lot of energy, but I’m sure you can take care of that. Right?”

Baki’s only response was an arch of his visible eyebrow and the slightest shake of his head.

“Glad to hear it,” turning on his heel, he smiled towards Kankurou and Temari, trying his best not to laugh when Temari glared at him. “Have fun now children. Don’t get into too much trouble while Sensei is gone.”

Glancing back at Gaara, he watched as the kid kept his spot behind Baki, eyes trained on the older man’s back with a glare that made his stomach churn. “No murder,” he clarified, closing his eyes and giving Gaara the best smile he could from behind his porcelain Anbu mask. “I quite like this one alive. It would be rather heartbreaking to come home to find out you killed him during my absence.”

The reactions he got were as expected.

Gaara’s slight huff, and the roll of his eyes before turning his back to all of them.

The laughter he heard from Kankurou and Temari, no doubt both of them forgetting about the predicament that Temari was currently in.

But Baki’s response was the best out of all of them, and it was definitely because Kakashi was more than a little bias towards his old friend.

The hand on his shoulder, pulling him back and forcing him to turn around and face Baki. A cruel but playful smile on his face as he placed a hand on either side of Kakashi’s mask and lifting it just enough to expose the bottom of his face.

And the kiss.

Even when he expected that soft, warm kiss, he was always left surprised by the feelings that swirled inside of his chest.

How his heart beat just a tiny bit faster, or his breath caught in his throat for a second. That familiar, delightful feeling he always got when he was around Baki.

Like he was home. Safe and sound, with nothing to worry about.

As quickly as they came, they disappeared when Baki withdrew. Placing his mask back into place and taking a step back.

No matter how much he wanted to cling to them. To keep Baki there in his arms, safe and alive, he never could.

There always came that moment where he had to leave.

When ‘Suna’s Hound’ was needed, and Kakashi was left to hide away in the dark. A name and face known only by a handful of people.

“Come back alive,” It’s an order as much as a request. Baki’s hope is that if he says it out loud, Kakashi will have to oblige. “And try not to get into too much trouble with Kazekage-Sama.”

Now that was a promise he could not make. His old Sensei was a fickle, angry man. Anything Kakashi did that didn’t fit into what the man thought he should act like would earn him a lecture about how ‘good’ shinobi’s act’.

“I’ll come home,” he promised, ignoring the second request even when Baki glared at him. “Try not to let them get under your skin. They can be rather annoying at times.”

The sound of Temari and Kankurou screaming their protests and threats chased after him when he disappeared into a whirl of wind and sand.

No doubt Baki would be able to handle them in his absence. He was a top-rate Jonin of Suna, after all.

He just hoped the three of them didn’t stress the man out too much, or he wouldn’t be any fun for Kakashi to play with when he returned from whatever mission Rasa-Sama had for him.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Terrible Pick-up lines and Free Coffee

For: @sakura-rpblog

AU: Coffee Shop Au

Words: 1306

Rating: General

Pairings/Characters: Hatake Kakashi and Haruno Sakura. Sakura/Naruto (Hint of Kakashi/Yamato)

Warnings: Shameless flirting, Bad Pick Up Lines

Summary: Sakura’s one of Kakashi’s best workers. Always alert and helping the customers. So when he notices her distracted by a customer during rush hour, he decides it’s time to intervene.

Rush hour, a time when every single office worker and student within a five-mile radius came into the little coffee shop just down the street from Konoha University. When the lineup went out the door and Kakashi had to schedule a minimum of five people to work in the small space that they had.

Two people taking orders, two people making drinks, and one handing out drinks.

Usually, the system was flawless and the customers were being served within five minutes. When it came to knowing people’s strengths on the floor, Kakashi was an expert. Much better than he was with actually talking to people, which was why he kept himself working behind the counter making drinks.

The only problem today was that his best barista was distracted this afternoon.

The distraction?

A tall, blond boy with bright blue eyes and a smile that had her weak at the knees every time he flashed it her way.

Usually, this wouldn’t be a problem. Most days when this particular customer came in the shop was quiet. They had lots of time to take his order, and Sakura could flirt with him all she wanted without issue.

Today, however, their usual back and forth was starting to hold up the line, and Lee could only do so much to make up for Sakura’s decrease in productivity. Even he was starting to look concerned when Sakura continued to flirt with her customer even as more customers piled into the small shop.

It was time for Kakashi to step in and he hated nothing more than having to admit that fact. Of course, this also meant that Sakura had opened herself up to complete and utter embarrassment.

And really, who was Kakashi to pass up such an opportunity? It was so rare for him to be able to tease Sakura. She was usually so focused and well-behaved. Easily one of her best workers.

Finishing with his last drink, Kakashi turned to Neji and signalled for him to take over for a second. Once he had moved over and started with the next order, Kakashi made his way to Sakura’s side.

“Here, let me try another one,” It took an incredible amount of effort not to roll his eyes. If this was the kind of conversation he was walking into it was no wonder Sakura was distracted. "I am a hopeless ramen-tic for you."

Now, this was just embarrassing.

The kid had to ask for another shot at flirting, and that was all he could come up with?

Anyone who had ever told Kakashi that he was a bad flirt owed him an apology and five bucks for having to listen to that pick-up line.

The worst part of it all though? Sakura was laughing. Not even a fake little giggle to appease the poor boy and his sad attempts at flirting. It was a full-blown belly laugh. The poor girl looked like she was about to keel over because of the worst attempt at flirting that Kakashi had ever heard in his life.

He’d pity her if he wasn’t currently concerned that she had hit her head against something really hard before starting her shift.

“I-Hey!” Sakura finally tore her eyes off the customer to glare up at Kakashi when he placed his right hand against her forehead. “What are you doing?”

She didn’t seem to have a fever.

“Huh,” pulling his hand away, he stared down at Sakura. “You’re not sick, and you’re laughing. So you actually enjoy this weirdo’s bad pick-up lines?”

He expected the elbow to the gut, but somehow it didn't make it hurt any less. On the other side of the counter, Kakashi could hear the customer trying desperately to keep his laughter as quiet as possible.

“Uh, Sakura-chan,” Lee spoke up beside her, chuckling when all three of them turned to look at him. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to be hitting our boss.”

“And what’s he going to do,” Sakura’s usual overconfident attitude returned instantly. Almost as if she hadn’t spent the last five minutes flirting shamelessly with Konoha’s worst pick-up artist. “Fire me?”

“I might,” he wouldn’t, but seeing the fear in Sakura’s eyes when she looked back at him was well worth saying that. “I mean, if all you’re going to do is stand here flirting with a weirdo with a smile too bright and pick up lines that I’m pretty sure he found in a dumpster…”

“Hey! It was a good pick-up line!”

“It was terrible,” Kakashi instantly regretted his choice of words when he was greeted with the saddest look he had ever seen. Seriously, this kid could give Gai a run for his money. “Jeez, ok. How about this: Let me have my Barista back for rush hour and you can continue to try and woo her. Let’s say around two pm?”

“Ummm, Hi, standing right here.” Sakura held up a hand and waved when Kakashi looked back at her.

“Hmmm, so you are,” placing a hand on his hip, Kakashi narrowed his eyes. “Then you can make the choice. I need a functioning barista right now before I get yelled at for taking too long, which is becoming more likely by the minute,” he waved a hand towards all of the customers still standing behind the blond. “So how about it? I won’t even complain about his bad pick-up lines.”

There was another complaint behind him about them being ‘not that bad’, but Kakashi ignored it. Instead, he focused his attention on Sakura.

“I want my break when he gets back,” she grumbled under her breath, refusing to meet Kakashi’s eye as she said it.

“Deal,” clapping his hands together, Kakashi turned back to the blond-haired kid that had wasted so much of his time already. “Make a list of bad pick-up lines and be back at two pm. If you’re late I’ll have to find someone to fill your spot.”

He wouldn’t of course. That had been a joke and judging by the fact that he could hear Sakura laughing behind him, she got the joke.

“I uh...two,” The kid pulled out a pen and jotted the time on the back of his hand along with a little note that said ‘meet cute barista at her work’. It was actually sort of adorable, and Kakashi was going to have a blast bugging Sakura about it all later when the shop was empty. “I’ll be back then, believe it!”

With a wave goodbye, the kid ran to the end of the counter and snatched the coffee that had been waiting for him for at least four minutes at that point, calling out a ‘thank you’ towards Neji before heading out the door.

“Uhhh, Kakashi-san,” glancing back at Sakura, Kakashi frowned when he saw her looking down at her till. “He uh...he didn’t pay…”

Of course, he didn’t.

“Well, I guess someone’s not getting her free coffee,” poking Sakura in the nose, he headed back to his station and shooed Neji away from the coffee makers, much to the Hyuuga’s relief judging by the way he rushed off back to his little corner where he handed out the drinks. “But maybe if you actually help some customers, I might take pity on you.”

Sakura had a witty comeback for him, he knew it. But rather than wasting any more time arguing with her boss and risking her own free coffee, she turned back to the customers and called the next one forward.

Now he just had to hope that there wasn’t another bad flirt in the lineup to distract Sakura, or they’d never see an end to this rush hour and he wouldn’t get to sneak out to the table Tenzo had claimed half an hour ago and try his own hand at flirting.