#tara says your mother misses you. i thought you were dead. are you happy or is that emotion too mortal for you now.

[sweet-milky-tea705]

Yearning hour. Honestly the gale situation has me feeling really really angsty.

[collecting-stories]

Shane - ep. 12 - Georgia

Summary: Shane hassles you in the diner and you let slip to Daryl that you want to date him. 

A/N: Can’t believe we’re moving this far into it. 

Georgia Masterlist | The Walking Dead Masterlist

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You almost audibly groaned when Shane walked into the diner on Monday night. Daryl has been gone all weekend and you were quickly realizing that driving yourself around just wasn’t the same. You weren’t too proud to admit that you missed him, more than someone should miss an ‘in between’ friend as Tara had called him.  

“You know, in between a friend and a boyfriend.” She had explained after coining the term.  

“I get it.”

You were sure your mom was happy, as happy as she could be with you, because you’d been essentially only at the diner and at home all weekend. You’d even been on time for church on Sunday morning, an occurrence that was lacking lately. It wasn’t only Daryl’s absence that had you falling back into that place so close to the daughter that your mother wanted. The one who was perfect enough to fix all the problems she had. Deanna had told your mom, just like Aiden said she would. She’d called her on Friday morning to tell her that she’d noticed you driving with Daryl in his truck.  

“When was this?” Your mother had asked, holding her hand up for you to stop as you were preparing to walk out the door for school.  

“I’m gonna be late.” You stressed.  

She put her hand over the receiver and looked you dead in the eye, “move out that door and I swear to god you will not go out again for a week. School be damned.”

You waited, stood there anxiously by the front door as she cast you glancing and nodded her head and ‘mmhmm’d’ at the appropriate places. Your dad was supposed to be coming home soon from the halfway house he was living in and you’d thought maybe she was talking to him but then she hung up and turned to face you.  

“You wanna tell me why Deanna just called me and told me she saw you with Daryl Dixon.”  

“Cause he was fixing my car. I told you that, remember?” You knew you said it in that way that suggested she was dumb for asking so you weren’t surprised when she smacked you across the face. It didn’t take the sting away though and you flinched away from her when she kept on.  

“You’ve done some truly stupid things before but this really tops it, you know that! Running around town like some whore!”  

And you could’ve said something else, at least that was the inner monologue you gave yourself afterward, when you were sitting in class with Maggie, swearing that you fell in the bathtub during your shower. You could’ve said something else, maybe, but you didn’t.  

“You would know! Why isn’t dad back yet? Cause he’s not better or cause you’re still fucking your boss!”  

Tara told you after school that she had wait the weekend, until she was back from her mom’s house, before you could stay. So you put yourself on best behaviour mode, faking it through a bruised jaw and other, worse injuries, that no one could see. You rolled in late to class with a slip that said you had tripped in the shower and you continued that lie until the last bell rang and you were driving to 7-11 to meet Tara, to stay far away from your mom.  

“Monday,” she promised. “I’m back from my mom’s Monday night, you can come over then.”  

“She told me ‘as long as you’re under my roof you won’t be anywhere near Daryl’. Good then, watch me get out from under your roof. She acts like it hasn’t happened before.” You replied, whispering as you stood in the back of the soda aisle, far away from Jacqui’s eavesdropping. The last thing you needed was her telling everyone what you said.  

“Does Daryl know?” Tara asked, playing dumb.  

“No.” You replied, “and I’m not gonna tell him. If he does like me he doesn’t need to think I’m messed up.”  

“You’re not messed up, your mom is a dick.”  

“Look, I can fake it for a weekend, church, no friends, work. It’ll be fine.” You promised, “and on Monday night, your house.”

“If you need it sooner, I could talk to my dad.” Tara offered. He’d let you stay plenty of times in the past.  

“No, Monday’s fine.”  

You survived the weekend the exact way you said you would. You faked the nice girl you had strived to be in middle school and for the first three years of high school. You didn’t talk back, you were quiet, nice, you went to work and to church and it was like some kind of wonderful transformation that your mother probably attributed to herself. She’d scared you straight out of your rebellious crush on Daryl and back to the girl she wanted you to be.

But Sunday came and you were counting down the hours. Just another day and you’d be at Tara’s. Hopefully a few more hours and Daryl would be back. Tonight, thankfully, your mom had left church, changed and gone to work, which left you at the diner, closing it out with Lori when Shane walked in.  

“I know you got a thing for that Dixon boy but I think you should reevaluate your eyes.” Lori commented, coming up next to you. “Shane Walsh is mighty fine.”  

“First, Daryl’s older than you,” you pointed out. He was 23, same as Rick, and Lori was 21, a little closer in age to you. “Second, you forget your pregnant?”  

“A girl can’t look?” She shrugged, walking away as you pretended to gag.  

Shane seemed oblivious to the interaction as he came up and sat at the counter. You hadn’t seen him since the party, though both Glenn and Maggie had and they claimed he had asked how you were. You weren’t surprised, Shane always did fashion himself as something of a ‘knight in shining armour’ you could only imagine the size of his ego knowing he had effectively ‘saved’ you from Aiden.  

“Hey Shane, what can I get you?” You asked, pad and pen ready, as if you thought he was actually going to order and he didn’t just come here with some ulterior motive like Aiden.  

“You, back?” Shane asked, grinning at you.  

You rolled your eyes, taking a deep breath and trying not to say anything too awful. The last thing you felt like dealing with today was Shane. “Hilarious. Order or move Shane.”

“I’m not joking.” He replied, leaning further across the counter.  

Over his shoulder Lori was shooting you a look that you were sure could translate into ‘jump on that offer’. You groaned, folding the notepad back up and slipping it into your apron. “Listen, Shane, I appreciate you standing up for me at the party and I’m sorry Aiden was a dick, I really didn’t want to be there with him-“

“Then why were you?”

“None of your business.” You snapped.  

“He trashed my house-“

“You both trashed your house! Don’t bitch at me because you got in a fight I didn’t ask you to get involved in.” You said, cutting him off.  

“So first it’s thanks so much and then it’s I don’t need you?”

“Yeah Shane,” you continued, “I was trying to be fucking nice to you but you’re being a dick. I’m sorry I don’t have feelings for you anymore but I can’t change that.”  

“You don’t mean that.” He said, keeping his voice low. He stood up and followed you down the counter as you tried to get back to work. As you lifted the gate on the counter he grabbed the other side, stopping you from going any further. “You got your head mixed up with that loser Dixon.”  

Your jaw tensed as you glared at him, “watch your mouth.” You let go of the gate, shoving passed him to get to your waiting tables.  

The resulting noise of the gate felt like it left an echo when Shane let go as well, turning and grabbing your arm. “Just talk to me, please!”

“I said no!” You snapped, pulling your arm away, “leave me alone Shane, I said no. I don’t want anything to do with you.”  

“Shane,” Otis’ voice caught both your attentions and you looked behind the counter to the window that offered a limited view of the kitchen. Otis was standing there, dish on the ledge, staring down Shane Walsh like he could fire bullets with his eyes. You’d known Otis your whole life and there wasn’t a person alive that ever had a bad word to say about him. He was a sweetheart, burly on the outside but teddy soft on the inside. He’d watched you hold your own with Shane in the past, and with Aiden. He watched you flirt with Daryl and told you more than a few times that you had that boy wrapped around your finger whether you thought so or not. And he watched Shane put his hand on you, “Think you should leave.”  

“We were just talking.” Shane replied, looking back at you like there was any chance in the world that you would defend him.  

“Yeah, and now you’re done.” Otis said.  

No further conversation was had. Shane nodded and left, Lori shooting him a sympathetic smile as he passed by her. You wanted to tell her to have at him, you could do without him hanging around. It was good Daryl was away for the weekend cause you were itching to go to his house as you stood outside the diner with Lori while she locked up.  

“You really over Shane?” She asked, as if she gave two shits about your life.

“Why?”

“Just wondering. He seems pretty passionate about you.”

“Passionate? Try aggressive.” You countered. He’d always been that way and you thought maybe there had been a time when you substituted who he was for who you wanted him to be but you liked to think you were a little smarter this time around.  

“What about Dixon?”

“Why are you asking me all these questions Lor?” You asked. You wanted nothing more than to get in your car and go home.  

“Just wondering, I get bored at the apartment, only one there to talk to is Rick and he’s on nights this week.” She replied. He was around whenever she had doctor’s appointments or if she needed something for the baby. She was more than positive that when the little Grimes was born he would be the best dad in King County but he seemingly less interested in being the best fiancé.  

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, answering her question finally, “Daryl and I aren’t dating though so it doesn’t matter.”  

“Think he’s waiting til you turn 18.” She asked.

“No, just don’t think he’s interested in dating me is all.”  

You’d given Daryl a lot of thought since you’d started spending time with him. There were times you thought maybe he liked you. Moments when it seemed plausible that there was something but it always felt like it was right before. This build up between the two of you with nothing to show for it in the end.  

“You have dated before right?”

“Obviously.” You replied, hand on the door of your car. If she would just get in and pull away , you could too.  

“Just checking.” She laughed, finally granting your wish and getting in the car.  

You peeled out after her, driving away from your street and pulling into the parking lot of the Shop’n’Bag. You parked as close as you could for a late night, your Jeep illuminated by the overhead light. The grocery store was practically dead at 10p as you grabbed a basket and walked around aimlessly. Hungry was not the way to shop but your mom was being a bitch and refusing to buy you groceries, going so far as to label the items in the refrigerator that she deemed hers.  

The freezer aisle, flickering from one of the ceiling lights, seemed to be your lucky spot. It wrapped the wall in the far left, two large cases running almost from wall to wall in the middle and a familiar frame leaning over one of them, cart full of other quick meals and beer beside him.  

“Hey stranger.” You greeted, stepping up next to him and leaning against the case.  

Daryl straightened, the faintest of smiles coming and going as he looked over at you, “ya ain’t stalking me are ya?”  

“No, I just finished at the diner, I’m starving.”  

“Ya know they make food there.” He replied, tossing a pack of steaks in the cart and moving along, you falling into step next to him.  

“I wasn’t hungry while I was there.” When he stopped again you pulled the three packs of stovetop mac and cheese out of your otherwise empty basket and dropped them in his cart before leaving your basket under the case.  

“I ain’t buying yer food.” He said, glancing over his shoulder at you. His eyes landed on the barely visible bruise that was still on your cheek, Tara’s words clear as day in his mind. “What happened?” He asked, hand brushing his own jaw in the same place.  

“Fell in the shower.”  

“Least it ain’t those cats this time.” He replied.  

“When did you get back?” You asked, following him down the aisle.  

“Like ten minutes ago, however long I been in here.” He said, pausing to throw something in his cart, “why?”

You shrugged, “it was boring this weekend, I missed you.”  

“Musta been real boring then.” He joked, turning his face away so you couldn’t see his cheeks going red. “Ya ain’t start any fights this weekend?”

“It wasn’t my fault,” you stressed. “Deanna called my mom though, told her she saw us driving in your truck.”  

“Told ya that ya shouldn’t be hanging around me.” Daryl replied, leaning against the handle of the cart. He watched you look through jars of red gravy until you found the one you wanted, sticking it in the cart. “I ain’t buying your food,” he repeated.

“I’ll pay for it,” you insisted, gripping the other end of the cart and smiling at him. “So, how was hunting?”

“A’ight. Got a deer in the bed a my truck.”  

You stuck your tongue out in disgust, “Glad my jeep’s fixed then.” You walked with Daryl through the rest of the store until he finally decided he was finished grocery shopping and turned his cart toward the check out, only one lane open this time of the night. When you tried to put the divider down between your order and his, Daryl put it back. “Thought you weren’t paying for me?”

“Ain’t a lot a stuff.” He shrugged, “bag it yerself though.”

“What a gentleman.” You laughed; scooting passed him so you could start bagging the groceries as the guy at the checkout put them through.  

Tara had told you enough times already that you should invite Daryl to your birthday, or just tell him that you like him and want to date him. You’d thought about both options plenty, positive that they were the only things on your mind these days. But actually, mentioning those things to him were a whole other story.  

“So, I turn 18 soon.” You mentioned as you walked out to your jeep with him. His truck was parked a few spaces down, blue tarp over the bed highlighted by a parking light. “Tara and Maggie are having a party for me.”  

“Ys sure that’s a good idea?” He joked, putting your groceries in the back for you.  

“Stop! No one’s ever gonna let me live that down.” You groaned.  

“Ya gonna invite me to yer party then?”  

You perked up a little, smiling, “well, yeah. And I was thinking too, you know, I’ll be 18.” You repeated at the end.  

“I heard ya.”

“I’ll be legal.” You clarified, as if he couldn’t catch on without you spelling it out for him.  

Daryl sighed, running a hand through his hair and looking at you a little more tired than before. “This ain’t a good idea, ya know,” he said, waving his hand between the two of you, “I ain’t got a lot going on right in my life. Ya shouldn’t be dragged into that.”  

“I’m not being dragged into anything,” you replied, “I really like you, I think I’ve been pretty obvious about it and if not then I’m telling you now. I like you and I’ll be 18 and I think-”

He stopped you by holding his hand up, “it ain’t gonna happen.”  

“Daryl-”

“I gotta get home,” he cut you off, stepping away from your car, “goodnight.”

“Yeah, goodnight.” You sighed, watching him walk away to his car.  

-

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[walkerwords]

“She Keeps Me Warm” F!Reader x Tara Chambler

Summary: You had lived in Alexandria for about six months when Rick’s group arrived. The first time you meet Tara, she is everything and more. When she offers to help you search for you father who had gone missing months before, you take her up on the offer, making some new friends along the way and maybe even finding your person in the new horrible world. 

Word Count: 6948

Warning: None

Song I Wrote To: “She Keeps Me Warm” by Mary Lambert

Note: I don’t know why I am suddenly awful at summaries, but there you go. Essentially, I just love Tara so much and wanted to write an imagine with her. I miss her so much! I am in the process of filling another request but I wanted to post this one first. Love ya. ALSO let me know if you want to be added to my main taglist for all my stories!

-----

It had been nearly a week since you had been home.

You knew it was reckless and selfish for you to be away for so long without checking in, but any time you thought about going home, your father’s face would flash in your mind and you would tell yourself just one more day. However, as per usual, the world caught up with you and after taking a rather nasty fall and twisting your ankle, you decided to head home to Alexandria. 

You could already imagine the look on both Aaron and Enid’s faces. It would most likely be a mixture of worry and disappointment. You weren’t sure how Enid was always able to say so much with just a single look. Perhaps it was all the time she spent on her own, just trying to survive. Whatever it was, you admired her even more because of it.

When you and your father had shown up at Alexandria with Aaron around six months before, you noticed that Enid was always alone. When you had asked Aaron about the teenager, he had explained that she had been alone when she came to the gates and that all she had said was that both of her parents had been killed by the Dead. You could empathize with her as you had lost your mother and brother at the start of it all. Then when your father disappeared, it had only tightened the bond between you and the girl. She was like the little sister you never had and you would die for each other. 

As the gates of your home came into view, you breathed a sigh of relief. While you wanted to keep searching for your father, your bed and a hot shower were calling your name. As you rolled to a stop outside the gates, you honked twice, leaning out the window. 

“Open the gate, morons!” you called. The disgruntled face of Nicholas appeared as he slid open the fence. You grinned at him and he rolled his eyes. The two of you had never gotten along and you really disliked the guy. He acted as if he was invincible to the new world, but you knew that if he was ever faced with a herd of the Dead, he’d turn tail and run. Pulling your car into Alexandria, you shut off the engine and climbed out. Nicholas closed the gate behind, latching it shut. “What’s new, Nick?” you asked, leaning against the back of the car. 

“Aaron brought new people in,” he grumbled. 

“And let me guess, ya don’t like them?” you said, already knowing the answer. Nicholas was never happy when people “invaded” his home. It was most definitely the reason he didn’t like you.

“They’re arrogant and proud and the leader is some kind of psychopath,” he spat. You considered his words, trying to imagine his face as this new group strutted through the streets of ASZ. 

“They sound like my kind of people,” you grinned and he huffed, storming past you. Your eyes followed him, trying not to laugh at his immature nature when you spotted someone running towards you. You smiled even wider as Enid came jogging down the street. Her boots pounded against the pavement, her hair flew back behind her. Reaching you, she tossed her arms around you and you held her close, trying not to fall over. “Woah, easy there En, I’m operating on half a leg,” you joked.

Enid pulled back immediately, scanning you for your injury. “What’s wrong?” she asked, worried. You gripped her shoulder reassuringly. 

“Just a twisted ankle. I’m all good. Few days of rest and I’ll be back one hundred percent,” you promised. Enid gave you a small smile as she relaxed. “Grab that other bag in the back, will you?” Enid nodded and went to fetch the backpack you had loaded up with some new clothes for the both of you. You weren’t looking for supplies, but when you came across an abandoned boutique, you couldn’t help but pick up some jeans, socks, etc for your communal closet back at home. 

You hiked your own bag up onto your shoulder and then Enid was there, offering her arm as support. You gratefully slung your arm around her shoulders as you limped up the street. Enid looked at your shirt that was splashed with dark blood and wrinkled her nose. “Rough couple of days?” she asked. 

“No more than usual,” you said, shrugging off your appearance. “I heard about the new people. Anyone interesting?” 

“Haven’t really paid them any attention,” Enid said, looking at the ground. 

“Meaning you’ve observed them from afar and you don’t trust them,” you said, easily seeing through her facade. 

“They have a baby,” she said, looking back up at you, “and some of them seem nice, but I don’t know.”

“Well, Nicholas looked less than thrilled.”

“Not really surprising,” Enid scoffed. She hated Nicholas as much as you did, but she wasn’t as vocal about it as you. The two of you headed up the road, passing a few of the neighbors here and there. Since arriving, they hadn’t completely warmed up to you, but you weren’t a neighborly person before the Apocalypse and you weren’t going to start now. As you and Enid slowly made your way towards the center of town, you could see some of the new people. There were about seven of them milling around the gazebo talking to the Monroes. Deanna was explaining something to who you figured was the leader based on his stance and the way he stood at the head of his group. Aidan was by his mother’s side and Spencer looked as if he was trying to get the attention of one of the women, a pretty brunette who looked as if she’d rather lay in a pile of Dead than speak to him. 

As soon as you were in his sights, however, Spencer pushed away from the woman and walked toward you, his arms spread wide. “Well be still my heart, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) has returned to us!” he bellowed, strutting towards you. 

“Gross,” Enid muttered under her breath and you had to bite your cheeks to keep from laughing. Spencer stopped in front of you and beamed down at you. 

“Spencer,” you greeted. 

“What’s wrong, you hurt?” he asked, his brow furrowed. 

“I’m fine, Monroe. Enid makes a pretty great crutch,” you joked. Spencer laughed, earning a glare from the teenager at your side. He coughed awkwardly. 

“If you need help, I could give you a lift home,” he said wagging his brows. Enid gagged and then started to pull you away from him. 

“I think we got it from here!” You called over your shoulder at him. This time you did laugh, unable to keep a straight face anymore. “That is why we don’t have friends,” you whispered to Enid. 

“We have Aaron,” she pointed out. 

“This is true,” you agreed, pulling her tighter against you. As you passed Deanna, you gave her a salute. She then ushered you towards her and you begrudgingly nudged Enid over to your leader. 

“(Y/N)!” Deanna greeted, “I’m glad you’re home.” 

“Me too,” you said as you tried to keep the weight off your bad ankle. Enid stood next to you quiet as a mouse and you squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, knowing how uncomfortable she was in social situations. 

“This is Rick Grimes,” Deanna continued, gesturing to the man in front of her. “He and his family came here a couple of days ago. They’re actually staying in the house across from yours.” She then turned to Rick, “(Y/N) is one of our best fighters and helps keep this place safe.” Rick reached out to take your hand and you met him halfway. When you let go, you glanced down at your red smeared palm. 

“Sorry about that,” you said sheepishly as you wiped the dried blood on your jeans, “I think that was from either an accountant or a really bad dressed lawyer.” A laugh came from behind Rick at your joke and you saw a very pretty brunette woman. Her dark eyes met yours and she awkwardly smiled at you. 

“Sorry,” she said to Rick, “it was funny.” Rick shook his head at his friend, clearly amused. “I’m Tara,” she said with a small wave. 

“Hey,” you greeted with a smile of your own. Turning your attention back to Rick, you grabbed your backpack strap tightly. “I’d love to talk more, but if I don’t get off this ankle soon, I’m going down and taking Enid here with me.” 

“It was nice to meet you,” Rick said and you nodded to him. Enid, gripped you tight and started to pull you towards home. 

“Bye!” Tara said as you walked away. You shot her another smile over your shoulder before disappearing around the corner. 

“I like that one,” you said to Enid who just rolled her eyes. 

------

As Rick and the others watched you and Enid leave, Aaron jogged up to the group. 

“I just made a complete fool of myself, didn’t I?” Tara asked Abraham who clapped her on the shoulder. 

“Seems that way, sugar plum!” Abraham said. Tara hid her face in her hands while Glenn patted her back in solidarity. 

“Was that (Y/N)?” Aaron asked, looking up the street. 

“She just got back,” Aidan told him. 

“How long has she been here?” Michonne asked Deanna. 

“What would you say, Aaron? Six months or so?” Deanna asked, turning to Aaron who turned his attention back to the people before him. 

“Yeah, I brought her and her father here after that big wind storm,” Aaron said, nodding. 

“Her father is here too?” Tara asked and then the Monroes and Aaron got quiet. “What?”

“He’s missing,” Aaron explained. “He went outside the walls about a month after they got here and then just never came back. That’s why (Y/N) goes out there so much. She’s looking for him.”

“He was a cop,” Spencer added, leaning against a lamppost. “She found his shield not that long ago, but that’s all the evidence we’ve seen.” 

“Didn’t nobody help her look?” Daryl asked, sizing up the older Monroe brother. 

“We did,” Spencer shot back. “But we can’t chase ghosts forever.” Aaron then shot an annoyed look at Spencer and Rick caught it immediately. 

“(Y/N) has been nothing but an asset to Alexandria since she got here,” Aaron defended. “She has saved your life twice, Spencer, not to mention how she puts everyone else before her, especially Enid.”

“Enid’s the girl?” Michonne asked, remembering Carl mentioning her at some point. Aaron nodded. 

“Enid wouldn’t talk to anyone after she got here. The girl had just lost her parents and it was hard even getting her to eat some days. Then (Y/N) had shown up and those two bonded immediately. They’re like sisters now.” 

“Aaron,” Deanna interjected, “nobody is saying she isn’t important, but you know we all worry about her.” 

“And you also know that until she finds him or a body, she’s not going to stop,” Aaron said before turning away and walking up the street towards your house. 

“Aaron is very protective of them both,” Aidan explained. Rick nodded, understanding immediately. You and Enid were his family.

———

By the time the sun set, you couldn’t take being on the couch anymore. 

Enid had gone off to do whatever she did when she disappeared either between the houses or beyond the walls. You had been worried about her at first, but soon learned to trust her to keep herself safe. You figured if she had survived all that time alone without any issues, she could handle it just fine in the surrounding woods. The only rule you had was that she had to tell you she was leaving and then get within your sights when she came back so you knew not to go trekking through the woods to find her.

Looking around the living room, you began to get annoyed with the vacant walls and pushed yourself to your feet. Shoving your feet back into your boots, you headed to the garage. You could already hear Enid’s chastising voice in your head as you ignored her earlier command of staying off your feet for the rest of the day. 

However, boredom was not something you coped with well. Pulling up the large garage door, you clicked on the light switch and began sorting through all of your supplies. Anytime you came home with food, medicine, or essentials, you always put it in the communal storage, but anything else you found that wasn’t necessarily vital to the survival of Alexandria, you kept it in the garage. 

It was mostly things you found on your way out of a place. Old records, obsolete technology, books, or even parts for cars, bikes, etc. It was like having your own thrift shop in your house and the miscellaneous items always gave you a bit of comfort. You figured it was because they all reminded you of how things used to be.

You were sorting through an old box of punk albums when you heard a knock against the side of the garage door. You turned to see Tara standing there, a small smile on her face. 

“Hi,” you greeted, setting down the record in your hands. Tara clasped her hands together, gently rocking back on her heels. 

“Hi, back,” she said and then cringed at her own words causing you to laugh. 

“I’d offer you a beer but I think all we have is half-empty water bottles,” you said, leaning against the workbench. Tara chuckled and then began walking around the garage, looking at everything you had collected. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Tara said, gesturing to your task. You waved her off. 

“Ah, I was just trying to keep my hands busy,” you said, “Couldn’t take any more of my walls staring back at me as I did nothing.” 

“How’s your foot?” Tara asked, gesturing to the bandage peeking out the top of your boot. Enid had expertly wrapped it for you when you had gotten home. 

“Bit sore, but I’ve had worse, you know?” She nodded. “And what about you?”

“Me? My foot’s fine,” Tara said, confused. You laughed again and she blushed slightly. You couldn’t help the thrill that went through you at the thought that you made this beautiful woman blush. 

“I meant, how are you doing here?” You clarified, gesturing around. “How are you settling in?”

“Oh!” Tara exclaimed, “Yeah, it’s a bit of an adjustment. We were on the road for so long and I don’t know, this is all very alien. Though, it is nice not to be looking over your shoulder every few seconds to make sure there aren’t any Walkers nearby.”

“Walkers? Is that what you call them?” You asked, intrigued. 

“Yeah, well, that’s what the others called them when I met them and it just sort of stuck.” 

“I suppose it’s a lot easier than saying Dead people or those things,” you said with a chuckle. “Walkers. I like it.” You both were quiet after that and then you coughed awkwardly as she stared at you. “Uh, Enid, she said you had a baby with you guys, how’s she or he doing?” Tara brightened at the mention of the child. 

“She’s great! Healthy as ever,” Tara said. “Her name is Judith, she’s Rick’s kid, well his other kid. There’s Carl too.”

“Two kids?” 

“Technically three with Noah, but he’s not a Grimes. He’s just a teenager we met in Atlanta a couple of weeks ago.”

“Sounds like you’ve had quite a couple of weeks,” you said, hopping up onto the table, crossing your ankles. Tara sighed as she walked over and leaned against the table next to you. 

“You have no idea…” she said, her eyes a bit far away. “Any advice for livin’ here?” Tara asked, returning her attention to you. 

“Stay away from Spencer?” You offered, causing her to laugh. 

“Oh, don’t worry, he’s not my type,” said Tara. 

“Good to know,” you said, staring down at your boots with a small smile.

-----

Once the two of you had gotten over the initial awkwardness, you found that you loved talking to Tara. She was kind, funny, and she always said what was on her mind. She had tried to walk back on some of the things she had said, but you encouraged her to never apologize for speaking her mind. 

Along with Tara, you had begun speaking with the other members of her group. Glenn was the first person to reach out and start a conversation. You had been hanging out on your front steps when he had come out of the house across the street with his wife, Maggie, and introduced himself. Maggie was kind, but you had to admit that she intimidated you. 

Then there was Michonne who had approached you about security measures. Deanna had made her and Rick constables for Alexandria. You weren’t sure why ASZ needed cops. It wasn’t as if any of the residents actually understood how the new world worked. You had explained that to Michonne, telling her that if the community was going to survive, then it’s original members needed to learn how it worked outside of the gates as well as in and breaking up petty fights and disagreements, wasn’t going to help their survival skills. She said she would take your advice to Rick and that was that. 

The only other member of Grimes’ group you had somewhat of a conversation with was the hunter, Daryl. You hadn’t meant to talk to him, but Aaron and Eric had invited him over to their house to work on the motorcycle that had sat undisturbed since before the Turn. You had tried to figure out a way to fix the damn thing, but mechanics weren’t your thing. However, Daryl Dixon was all over it. He looked at the bike like it was the Holy Grail. 

You had gone over to Aaron’s place in search of liquor when you found the redneck in the garage crouched down by the bike. “Finally,” you said, walking down the steps, getting his attention, “I was wonderin’ when someone was going to give that thing some love.” Daryl looked at you confused. “I’m (Y/N),” you said. 

“I know,” he responded. “Aaron’s friend.” 

“Is that what people call me?” you laughed making your way over to the cabinet at the other end of the garage.

“I don’t think it was meant as an insult,” Daryl said, getting to his feet.

“Never said it was,” you said, throwing him a wink over your shoulder. You opened the cabinet and pulled out a tucked away bottle of whiskey. Aaron and you had stashed them throughout both of your houses in places that both Enid and Eric wouldn’t be able to find. It had sort of become your inside joke, but you were pretty sure Enid knew about your hiding spots.

Cracking the top, you took a long pull. You then offered the bottle to Daryl. He hesitated for a second before shrugging and taking the bottle from you. He took a single sip and then handed it back. Daryl went back to the bike and you hung out for a bit longer. 

It took you a bit to get him to start talking, but when he did, he wanted to know about ASZ and if it was what it seemed. You explained that it was safe and as organized as it could be, but you made sure to tell him not to drop his guard. “Nothing lasts forever and nothing is perfect,” you said to him. He said he'd pass along the message to Rick and the others and then you left, leaving him to his bike, figuring you had bothered him enough. 

———

The next time you got Tara alone, she was sitting on the steps of Rick’s house. You were coming back from the armory when you noticed her. Her focus was on her feet as she played with a stray piece of grass. She looked up when your boots entered her line of sight. 

“Someone is thinking hard,” you said, crossing your arms. 

“Not really,” she said, smiling at you. 

“Want some company?” You asked and she slid over, offering you space next to her. “But really, what is going on in that head of yours?”

“Glenn got into with Aidan today,” she said and you nodded. You had heard the commotion earlier, but you figured you should stay out of it and went to help Jessie fix lunch for Sam. You weren’t really surprised though, Aidan was a hothead. 

“What was the fight about?” You asked. 

“Aidan is an idiot and Glenn called him out on it,” she said, looking towards the setting sun. 

“Yeah, that sounds about right. Let me guess, Aidan and Nicholas were playin’ with Walkers again.” Tara smiled at your use of the word “Walker” and then nodded. 

“So, that wasn’t the first time?”

“Nah,” you shook your head, “Found those two idiots doing it a few months ago. Playing with it like it was some kind of animal. I shot it in the head before they could screw with it any further.” Your firsts curled in your lap as you remembered. “They’re not just some thing, you know? They used to be people and the best mercy we can give them is to put them down.” 

“Your dad?” Tara asked, guessing where you head is at. 

“He was a cop, you know? A detective.”

“Yeah, I heard that,” Tara whispered. “Rick was a cop too.” That made you laugh. 

“I can see that,” you said, playing with your fingers. “I’m not delusional,” you told her, looking into her dark eyes, near pleading. 

“I know,” she said. 

“I know he’s probably dead, but I just want to find him if I can. I owe him that much. I just want you to know that I’m not holding out hope that he’s still alive out there.” 

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Tara asked. You gave her a small smile and reached over and squeezed her arm. 

“No, I guess not,” you whispered. 

“Well, next time you go out to look for him, come knock on my door,” Tara said, placing her hand over yours. 

“You don’t have to do that,” you said. 

“I lost my dad too,” Tara explained, “and my sister and my niece. I know what it’s like to lose people, but I know what happened to them. You don’t know and you deserve answers.”

“Thank you, Tara,” you said and you couldn’t ignore the fluttering in your chest as she smiled at you. Her dark hair blew in the slight breeze and with the sun slowly setting over the trees, she looked incredible. At that moment there was really only one thing you wanted to do, but of course, the universe had other plans. 

Enid came jogging down the street and the look on her face was enough for you to pull your hand away from Tara. “En?” You called. She looked at you and the stress on her face had you turning to Tara. 

“Go,” she simply said with a wink. You placed your hand on her shoulder quickly before crossing the street to Enid. You approached her and it looked as if she wanted to either punch something or lay in bed for a week. 

“Let me guess,” you said, “Ron?” Enid just nodded and you took her by the arm and led her inside, ready to listen to her teenage drama and if needed, tear a strip off a teenage boy. 

———

It was a couple of weeks before you took Tara up on her offer to accompany you outside the walls. 

Enid was going with you this time as well. She had been trying to convince you to take her on your searches for months now. It was only after she made her case that she would just follow you anyways that you decided to let her tag along. When you two went to meet Tara, she wasn’t alone at the gate. Daryl, Glenn, and Michonne were all geared up as well. 

“Are we havin’ a party?” you asked, approaching Tara. She smiled sheepishly. 

“They wanted to help and I figured more sets of eyes are better than just three,” Tara said. “You don’t mind, do you?” Tara was looking at you with worry, afraid she had overstepped, but you were touched by the sentiment. Leaning forward, you kissed her on the cheek quickly. 

“Not at all,” you said with a grin and moved past her to go open the gate. Glenn bit his lip to stop himself from laughing at the pure shock that had taken over Tara’s face. As Daryl went to get on his bike, the rest of you headed for one of the larger cars. You were going out a bit further this time. Closer to where your father had first disappeared.

You had been staying closer to ASZ in your search. If something had happened to him, you figured it was on the way back home and that you’d come across him, but so far there hadn’t been a sighting. “There’s a shopping complex about an hour North,” you said to Daryl who was going to lead on his bike. “It’s a straight shot up the freeway and turn off on exit 7B. The sign should still be there.” 

“Alright, just hit the horn if ya need somethin’,” Daryl said as he straddled the motorcycle. He offered his fist and you tapped yours to it. 

“Let’s get going before Spencer decides to show up,” you said, ushering everyone into the car. Daryl revved his bike and rolled out of Alexandria. You started the engine and the rest of you followed, waving to Eugene who was waiting to shut the gate behind you. 

The ride was silent at first. Enid sat next to you in the passenger seat, reading one of her comics. Tara sat in the back between Glenn and Michonne, kicking her feet up on the center console. It was like a really weird scene out of a road trip movie. After a few more miles, Glenn started to ask questions. 

“So what is up with that Spencer guy?” he asked, leaning forward.

“He’s annoying,” Enid commented. 

“True,” you said, agreeing. “I don’t know, Glenn, he’s just the kind of guy that is used to getting everything? I guess the end of the world just made that impossible. Typical trust fund boy unable to be better than everyone else.” 

“If he’s anything like his brother then he’s not going to last long,” Glenn said. 

“At least Aidan is man enough to leave Alexandria. Spencer rarely leaves and when he does, I don’t think he’s ever fired his weapon, let alone killed Walkers,” you explained. 

“He afraid?” Michonne asked. 

“Maybe,” you said with a shrug. “Though, to be honest, I don’t know him all that well.”

“(Y/N) mostly avoids him,” added Enid. You nodded in agreement. 

“Also true.” 

“And Deanna has been in charge the whole time?” Tara asked. 

“Yeah as far as I know,” you nodded to her in the rearview mirror. “I think people just like to feel some sense of normalcy, you know?”

“Nothin’ normal about the world now,” Tara said. 

“Don’t I know it,” you said, bumping her foot with your elbow playfully. 

“Where were you before Alexandria?” Glenn asked. 

“Here and there,” you said, “We moved around a lot. Never trusted people and it was always our luck that Walkers felt the need to herd up near us. I think the longest place we stayed in was an old movie theater just outside of Augusta. We were with a small group of people for a bit before we had to move on.” You could remember the look on your dad’s face when you had found that particular safe haven. He had thought it was a sign because of all the times you two had enjoyed going to the movies together. It was one of the last places you felt safe before Alexandria. 

“Didn’t you sleep in the Aquarium?” Enid asked and you started laughing. 

“That I did, En,” you said, remembering that particular night. “Word of advice my new friends, when the world goes to shit nobody is there to feed the animals and the tanks smell worse than an entire herd of Walkers.” Glenn howled in laughter at that while Michonne looked a little sick. 

The rest of the ride to the shopping center was surprisingly pleasant. Even Enid was joining in on the random chatter that was going on in the car. As you drove, you kept your eye on Daryl ahead of you, easily maneuvering the broken up roads. You couldn’t believe that a bunch of strangers were willing to help you look for your father. It had been months of searching and you weren’t even sure if he was out there walking around. He could have easily fallen victim to the Walkers themselves. The thought that you were only going to find pieces of him made you feel sick. 

Gripping the wheel tighter, you focused on the tail light of the motorcycle and just kept going. 

------

Arriving at the shopping mall, Daryl suggested you all stay together. 

Considering you didn’t want to be alone in the first place, you easily agreed. Walking through the many stores, you all took out Walkers that stumbled towards you. It was becoming routine to kill the monsters and it was as if your group was running on autopilot. Daryl always kept his bow loaded and Michonne kept her hand on her sword at all times. 

You made sure to keep Enid close to you and if it bothered her, she didn’t say anything. If anything were to happen to her, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. She was the only family you had right now and you were determined to keep her alive at any cost.

About halfway through the mall, you were getting more frustrated. Blood was splashed over everything and you knew that something horrible had happened in the mall at the beginning of the Turn. You could easily imagine the screams and all of the people running as Walkers converged on the building. It must have been something akin to a horror film, you figured. 

Leaning against the railing of the second floor, you looked down towards an old sporting goods shop. With the smashed windows and blood trails, you knew it was probably one of the first places hit. Hell, even you and your dad had raided multiple shops on your way through Georgia. That thought alone made you straighten up. 

Pulling your gun from your holster, you headed for the escalator. “(Y/N)?” Enid called, but you ignored her, nearly jogging towards the metal staircase. You could hear the others following you, but you kept moving. Slipping over fresh blood and the occasional body part lodged in the mechanisms, you flew down the escalator.

Approaching the sporting goods shop, you froze, staring at the entrance. Someone had barricaded the main doors with displays and random pieces of furniture. The way the chairs were stacked and how the tables were resting so the legs were faced outwards told you everything.

Your dad had been the one to set this up. 

Emotions overtook you as you rushed forward, pulling at the barricade, your hands manic, and your breathing hard. More sets of hands joined you in dismantling the barrier. You kicked out at the different supports and finally made a hole big enough to fit through. You wasted no time in squeezing through and raising your weapon. Enid followed you with the others right behind. Walking through the aisles, you kept your gun handy, ready to fire on anything that came at you. 

You could hear Daryl knocking his knife against the wall trying to draw any Walkers out, but all remained silent. That is until you reached the back of the store. It was quiet at first. It almost sounded like it was farther away, but as you moved closer, the groaning noise increased. A part of you wanted to turn and run and not look at whatever was behind the fishing rod display. However, you knew that if you didn’t look, you would never get the sound of the groaning out of your head.

You slowly handed your pistol to Enid and unsheathed your blade. It felt as if your feet were made of lead as you crept towards the noise. Keeping your breathing steady, you stepped around the broken display. 

Your heart dropped out of your chest and your knees buckled at the sight. “No…” you gasped as your knees hit the floor. Sitting before you, half chained to multiple chairs with clouded eyes and a snapping jaw was your father. A sob escaped your throat as he struggled against his restraints. Based on how he was chained, you knew he had done it himself. Looking closer you could just make out a deep bite mark on the side of his neck. “Dad…” you whispered, reaching for him.

“Careful, (Y/N),” Glenn whispered behind you. You pulled your hand away and then dug into the pocket of your jacket, producing a detective’s shield on a chain. 

“I’m so sorry, Dad,” you said, letting the tears flow more. You moved closer to him, keeping an eye on his gnarled fingers that pawed at your clothing. You raised your knife and tried to see any of the colors in his long-dead eyes, but all that stared back at you were two empty white irises. He reached for you again and you shoved him back, trying not to think about his crumbling skin under your hands. “I’m okay, Dad,” you told him. “I have a new family now and remember Enid? She’s my person now, you know? We’re looking out for each other. I promise.” Your tears dripped onto his body as you held him back. “You can go be with Mom now and Tyler, they need you more. I love you so much.”

Lifting the knife above your head, you let yourself look at him once more before plunging it down into his brain. He went limp immediately in your arms. Removing the blade, you then took the shield and looped it around his neck. “I’m gonna be okay,” you whispered and then fell forward, sobbing. Enid was there in a second, wrapping her arms around your back and holding tight. All you could hear was your own crying and Enid’s soothing voice. 

You stayed like that for many moments, trying to grasp what was happening. You finally looked up as Daryl came toward you with a tarp in his hands. “We can bring him back,” Daryl said, kneeling down to your level. “Bury him properly.” You nodded, unable to speak. Daryl then gestured to the others and Tara was at your side helping Enid get you to your feet as Glenn, Michonne, and Daryl unchained your father’s body and wrapped him in the makeshift shroud. 

You watched as Daryl and Glenn lifted your father’s body from the ground and carried him from the store. Michonne followed, carrying the crossbow and her sword. Enid and Tara never let you go as you followed them. You didn’t even remember getting back to the car. You could hear Daryl starting his bike as the body was loaded into the trunk. You sat between Enid and Tara in the backseat while Glenn drove with Michonne in the passenger seat. Enid held your hand all the way home, but you could feel Tara leaning into you as well. Halfway home, your other hand found hers and she gripped yours tight. You were right, you had found your new family.

-----

When you returned to Alexandria, your mood was soured further as Spencer was the one to open the gate.

“You need to tell people when you leave, (Y/N),” he said as you followed Enid out of the car. 

“Back off, Monroe,” Glenn said, pushing past him towards the back of the car. Spencer then noticed how you looked nearly dead on your feet. 

“What happened?” he asked, but became completely silent as he watched Daryl and Glenn haul the body from the trunk. “Oh.” 

“Where’s Aaron?’ you whispered, keeping your eyes lowered. 

“Home, I think,” Spencer said. You nodded and moved past him. When Enid tried to follow you, you put out your hand. 

“I just need to see him alone, okay,” you said and she nodded, stepping back. You didn’t say anything further as you headed towards Aaron’s house. On the walk over, you couldn’t shake the images out of your head. Walkers were not a rare thing. You saw them every time you left Alexandria, but you had never seen someone you knew turn. At least not anybody close. The fact that he chained himself up to keep from hurting people hurt even worse. Even in death, your father was trying to be a hero. 

Arriving at Aaron’s, you climbed the steps and didn’t bother knocking. You moved through the house, finding him sitting on the couch in the living room. Eric was nowhere to be found. “Hey, you,” Aaron greeted, looking up from his book. He then saw the tears on your face and tossed the book aside. “What happened?”

“He’s gone,” you choked out and then fell into the spot next to him on the couch. 

“Oh, honey,” Aaron whispered as you lay down, your head resting in his lap. You cried as he smoothed his hands over your hair. 

“We brought him home,” you whispered. Aaron, gripped you tight as he mourned the man as well. He had immediately liked your father and the two of them had instantly fallen into comfortable conversations when Aaron had brought you back all those months ago. “We’re gonna bury him inside the walls.” 

“I think that will be nice,” Aaron said. “Maybe we can ask Father Gabriel to say something. You mentioned your dad was really religious, right?” you nodded. “And I can as Rick to help with a small funeral.” 

“Rick?” you asked, confused. 

“Well, he was a cop so he knows how funerals for law enforcement work,” Aaron explained. 

“Dad wasn’t really a detective anymore,” you whispered. 

“Still, he deserves to have a funeral. You do so much for this place, (Y/N), let us do this for you. For both of you.” You nodded and then held him closer as the emotional fatigue finally took you over. It wasn’t long before you slipped into the darkness and fell asleep, dreaming of the good days with your dad.

----

It was night by the time you woke up. 

Eric had lightly shaken you awake, mentioning Enid had been looking for you. He had kissed your cheek and told you he’d look after Aaron as always and then offered you his condolences. You hugged him and then headed home. After sleeping and your talk with Aaron, you were feeling a bit better, but you knew it was going to take some time. However, you were grateful that you had finally found him and gotten the answers you craved so much. 

If there was anything good to come out of all this, it was the knowledge that he was finally at rest and you didn’t need to worry anymore. That thought alone made you take a deep breath and tilt your head to the sky, feeling the cool air. It smelled like it was going to rain soon. 

As you approached your home, someone was waiting for you on the porch. More tension exited your body as you saw that it was Tara. “Hi,” she said softly. You joined her on the steps and smiled to yourself as this began to be a regular thing. “How are you doing? Or is that a stupid question?”

“I’m...managing,” you said. “I guess all the emotions took me by surprise. Maybe because I never expected to actually find him.”

“I’m sorry you had to find him like that,” Tara said. 

“New normal, right?” you asked, wiping at your tears that never seemed to stop. 

“I wish it didn’t have to be,” said Tara. You turned to look at her and in the moonlight, she looked...ethereal. Reaching up, you tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, letting your fingers linger on her skin. 

“Thank you for being with me today. Meant a lot,” you said. Tara reached up and took your hand in hers, folding it between both of hers. She then raised your hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. You sighed at the contact. 

“You’re gonna be okay,” she whispered, looking into your (Y/E/C) eyes, and then she seemed timid. 

“You are really something else, Tara Chambler,” you said, leaning in towards her. Tara met you halfway and as you pressed your lips to hers, warmth spread from your head to your toes. The kiss was quick, but it felt right. Pulling back you smiled at her softly. Tara wrapped her arm around your shoulder and you fell into her embrace. Tara ran her hand over your arm as she held you. 

At that moment as you mourned your father, you found something full of light to hold onto amidst all of the darkness and she was so beautiful.

TAGS: @thanossexual​ 

[tarasylnin-lavellan]

Of memory and missing mothers

hey I know some of you are curious about some of the details of Tara so here is a bit of backstory on the scars the are across her back (bit of mild violence and angst ahead) 

Cullen's fingers trail down the ragged scars on Tara's back. "You never have told me how you got these," goosebumps following his touch. Tara turns her face toward him her eyes reflecting the candle light like a cat's. "It is no happy tale," she sighed "and knowing you vhenan, you would only blame yourself."

 "Templars then," Cullen grimaced his order had done so much damage. "You were but a child too when it happened ma'vhenan, you had nothing to do with it." "I would still hear of it love, If you are willing to tell me that is" he corrected automatically. Tara sat up in the bed her long lithe form moving easily despite her tiredness. Cullen watched her in appreciation, she was not built like some pampered plump noble. she moved like a wolf all long lines and grace hard muscle and strength. She reached and pulled an evernite wool robe over her form, Cullen frowned slightly his brow furrowing in disappointment. Tara chuckled softly as she caught the look on his face, "I will not recount this tale naked vhenan." she smiles faintly at him but it is replaced by a darker emotion, grief.

She sits in a chair near the fireplace her eyes drifting toward it. "I came into my power early" she began, "I must have been eight or nine perhaps." "But my power was unstable, and lightning is hard to control." She shook her head at the memory, "I think now that perhaps some humans had seen us, seen me and they called the Templars. Her eyes became hooded as the tale continued and Cullen listened from the bed. "They came upon us when my mother and I were alone, gathering mushrooms. my mother was fearless, She was fierce as a dragon and lightning itself with her bow. There were three of them," her voice had been a cold distant monotone like making a report. But at the recollection of the encounter she shutters visibly. "I will never forget the sound of that armor, it haunts me to this day. That awful crashing clanging sound still returns to me in my dreams. My mother stood in front of me bow in hand, the biggest one he must have been the leader shouted. He demanded that she had me over for the common good, and Andraste, and other things that I didn't catch. But my mother stood strong and true, her hand tightening on her bow she looked like a hero of old. She told them that she would never surrender her own flesh and blood, not to the hands of humans to be locked in a cage forever. She said that we were the last elven, and we would never submit. she snarled they would have to go through her dead body to get to me." Tara's eyes had grown haunted and distant, hollow from the telling. Cullen wanted to ask her to stop, to tell her that she didn't need to say anything else. But part him knew the need to share, that she had to say it.

"The big one laughed and whistled two mabari, massive ones came out. He asked again if she was still willing to fight, even knowing the odds. She said that she was that she would never allow them to take me, the big one only laughed again. Only good knife ear is a dead knife ear, He drew his blade and stepped forward. He didn't last long, my mother shot an arrow through that slit in his helmet. She screamed for me to run, but I was frozen with terror. The second one cut her down, she screamed for me to run again. Run Dalen run and never look back! and creators help me I did I ran, I ran like the coward I was." she swallowed hard her eyes still locked on the dancing flames unwilling to look at her lover. "they let the dogs loose," she breathed Cullen hissed through his teeth. I ran as fast as I could but I barely made it out of the clearing before one of the dogs was on me her hand came up touching the scars that raked down her back in angry lines. "It had me by the throat like a rabbit." she shuddered "I was blinded by agony and terror and that's when I called, I called to the fade like I had never called before. When I came back to myself, when I realized what was happening, everyone in that clearing was dead. I had killed them all, I had lost control of my power. they lay about me like scattered dolls, I had cooked them alive in their armor. That was how the clan found me, surrounded by smoking bodies. I was cradling my mother's corpse to my chest and bleeding onto the ground."

Cullen swallowed hard trying to fight the bile that rose up and his throat. The thought of the woman he loved being hurt so badly, by the very people he had served so fervently. He stood and walked toward her laying his hands gently on her shoulders. "I'm am so sorry" he whispers "I didn't know". Tara sighed "I didn't want you to know, it was enough that you saw the scars. I knew that you would feel responsible, even though you were a child at the time." Cullen let out a breath  "I do feel a sense of responsibility, although you're right I was a child too. I hadn't even decided to become a Templar yet, but to be traumatized so badly. To be hurt so much so early in your life, how could you even look at me? Tara's laugh was a little sad, "it wasn't easy at first" she admits. You said that you weren't sure that you would have noticed me, as a Templar. But I would have noticed you, and I would have killed you with a smile on my face. She looks away from him shame in her eyes. 

Cullen came around to face her his amber eyes appearing like liquid gold in the firelight. I understand, if anyone understands I do. You and I were both hurt by the same kind of people. Tara nods "that's why I told you, that's why I said anything at all." He presses his face into her black curls, breathing in the scent of her. Sweet mint and rain coil around him comforting in their familiarity. "Thank you," he breathes "thank you for showing me that part of you." her long slender fingers come up covering his own hand. When he looks at her face she's weeping silently, and he pulls her against his chest. His normally stoic lover weeps, for lost mothers, too brave and strong.

[lilacyennefer]

Finally, beautiful stranger chapter 2

“Used to think that loving meant a painful chase, but you're right here now and I think you'll stay” 

A/N: Here it is! This chapter is longer than the previous one. Also, a bit of explaining: the story takes place 2 years after Will's fianceé leave him but before the events of the movie. The SoA part is not canon, Isabelle is two years younger than Jax, and he's living together with Tara happily and they don't have any babies yet. I hope you like this and feedbacks are greatly appreciated! 

TW: sexual references, mention of character's death, language

You’re sitting at your table on Monday morning, it’s still really early but you have a lot of work to do. The weekend went by quickly, on Saturday morning you called both Kate and Natalie if they were okay and making sure they both got home safe. They assured you that everything was okay and you’ll see each other at work. You didn’t leave the house all weekend, couldn’t shake that sad feeling of not getting Will’s number. You really liked him, not just his look, sure, he was handsome, but you also liked his personality (as much as you could see from it) and the energy he radiates. You have to get over this, You have work to do and probably won’t see this man ever again. Your boss won’t arrive until a few more hours, but some of your colleagues are already arriving. You take a sip from your coffee and start focusing on your work.

“Boo!” You feel two hands wrap around you.

“Fuck!” You turn around quickly and see Kate laughing at you. “You scared me!” she keeps laughing.

“Sorry, I couldn’t miss this.” she sits down on the corner of your table. “What’s up?” 

You let out a sigh. “Nothing” you reply as you lean back in your chair “How was your weekend?”

Kate has a big smile on her face as she replies “Well you know, it will be a bit hurtful to sit down today” she winks at you and you playfully roll your eyes at her reply. “Anyway, how was yours?”

You shrug “It was okay” she gives you a look that makes you sure that she won’t just leave this.

“Why, what happened? What even happened after I left?”

“Well you know, Natalie and Benny boy went home together.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What happened between you and that blondie? You two seemed to have good chemistry.”

“Yeah well, I fucked it up. I forgot to ask for Will’s number, that’s his name by the way, and he didn’t ask mine either. I don’t know if it was on purpose or he forgot it, but that’s it.”

“Oh man, I’m sorry” she gives me a small smile.

“It’s okay.” You shrug again. You look behind Kate and see Natalie approaching the two of you with a big smile on her face. 

“Hi girls!!” she greets us cheerfully.

“Someone looks happy.” Kate comments.

“Yeah well” she smiles “I had a good weekend.” 

“We can imagine.” You say smirking. “You too will have difficulties sitting down today?”

“What?” Nat asks me laughing.

“Iz and I were talking about how it’s difficult for me to sit down after my weekend activities.” Kate says proudly.

“Well, I can relate to that.” Natalie laughs. You just snort at her response and try to focus on work when you hear Natalie ask you about your weekend. You told her the same thing you told Kate and she offers you an encouraging smile. They leave shortly and sit down at their desks. Time flies quickly, at lunch break Natalie joins you at my table, Kate had work to do outside the office. 

“So,” she starts “I talked to Benny earlier. Remember that he’s an amateur MMA fighter?” you nod your hand as you take a bite from your lunch “he has a match on Thursday. Will is his trainer, you should come along, so you can see him again.”

“I don’t want to tag along while the two of you are making out in the locker room or something”

“His brother will be there too, Iz. Besides, don't you want an answer if he likes you or not?” Of course you do. But it’s not that simple. What if he doesn’t like you? 

“Well yeah, I do.” You say unsurely.

“But?”

You sigh “ What if he doesn’t like me the way I like him? What if he was just polite to me, because we were forced to be in the same group?”

“Isabelle, honey, I love you, but you have to stop overthinking.” She’s right. You overthink every single thing in life that causes you more trouble than anything else. 

“You’re right.” you agree with her.

“So this means you’re coming?” she asks happily.

“ONLY if it’s okay with Ben too.” You wave a finger at her.

“Yeah, yeah” Natalie answers with an eye roll. 

The rest of the week goes by quickly, and it’s Thursday night faster than you realised. You stand in your apartment in a towel, trying to decide what to wear. What do people wear to an MMA match??? Is it similar to the night the motorcycle club had back at home? With all the drunk people yelling, throwing drinks, organising random fights, and making bets who would win? You kinda miss those. You miss the people more than those wild nights. You miss your brother, and your mother of course, and all these people you grew up with. It was a hard decision to leave, it took an awful lot of convincing so your mother would let you go. You had to leave. You couldn’t handle the violence, being in danger all the time,  the uncertainty of whether your brother, and all of the other members of the MC who you looked at as a family, will be alive tomorrow morning when you wake up, or if they’ll be dead somewhere. Being away from this doesn't take all of this away, but the feeling of not being in danger all the time, because of the club’s enemies, helps a lot. Of course you still worry about your people, you always will, but you wanted to have your own life and make it at least a little bit safe. The uncertainty, the violence, it's all part of being born outlaw. All of you are outlaws. You always have been and always will be. You love your family, and your father’s club. It was his life and his legacy. Your brother one day will inherit all of this. He doesn’t mind, all he wanted since he was a child is to be the part of the club and a Harley. He has all of this now, he’s happy with his life. You needed his help to leave Charming, to convince your mother to let you leave. He wasn’t happy about it either, you two are incredibly close. After the death of your little brother, you and your older brother seemed to get closer, and after your father’s accident, the two of you were inseparable. You didn’t know where you wanted to go or what you would do. You did know that you wanted to stay close to your hometown so you could visit your family anytime you wanted, and you also know that the city where you would move needs to be safe, possibly without an MC. Sacramento seemed to be fine, it was a lot bigger than the small town you grew up in, you could just disappear in the crowd and the people didn’t know who you were. In Charming everyone did, after all, your dad was a legend, and everyone knew who the Sons of Anarchy were. This just got even worse after your father’s death, you couldn’t stand the look in the people’s eyes, everywhere you went people gave you this look. It made you angry, you didn’t need their pity, you didn’t need their reminder that your father who you loved so much and were really close to, is no longer with you. You were 14 when it happened, Jax was 16, and it destroyed the two of you. You couldn’t stand the fact that your father will never see you become a woman, never walk you to the altar, and never will hold your first born. You shake yourself, trying to stop these negative, sad thoughts, as you choose the clothes for the night. After like an hour you’re ready to go, wearing a simple t-shirt, jeans and a vans. You grab your bag and a jacket, and head towards the cab, what you called earlier, is waiting outside your apartment building; you give the driver the address what Natalie texted you while the two of you were still at work. You’re nervous, you don’t know how Will will react, and you don’t know if Natalie actually told them that you’re coming. You rub your palms on your jeans, trying to get rid of the damp feeling that the nervousness caused. You’re almost there, your heart is racing, and you take deep breaths to calm yourself down. Relax, you tell yourself, you have nothing to worry about. You remember the chemistry between you and Will, what Kate mentioned earlier. You know you felt something when you were with Will, what you never felt before, but again you can’t tell if he feels the same, or even looks at you in that way. Kate is sure about that he does, and Natalie assured you that she saw the way he looked at you. You snap out of your thoughts as the driver tells you that you arrived. You pay the driver and get out of the cab, walking towards the entrance. The parking lot is already filled with drunken people, you enter the place where the match is held. It’s hot, and it’s filled with people. You navigate yourself through the crowd trying to find Natalie. You finally find her, she’s standing close to the ring and the left side of it, she wears a simple tank top and jeans. She looks gorgeous, but she always does. She spots you too and waves her hand, you quicken your steps to get close to her. 

“Hey sweetie” she greets you.

“Hi gorgeous” I reply to her. She holds a beer in her hand and has a big smile on her face. “So, where are they?” I ask her.

“Locker room, getting ready for the fight.” she takes a sip from her beer “the match should start soon though.” I nod in reply.

“Don’t you want one?” she holds her beer towards me. I shake my head and mouth a “no”. We stand there in silence for a few minutes until the match starts. You suddenly feel excitement running through you, and realise that it does look really similar to the fight nights at home. You hear the presenter say the opponent’s name and see him walk into the ring. The crowd cheers loudly, and a few minutes later you hear Ben’s name announced. You turn to look back at the entrance where Ben is coming in, Will behind him hyping up the crowd for Benny. They pass by you and Natalie, Ben gives her a smile and a wink, and he nods his face toward you, you smile back at him. You nervously look at Will, you can’t read his expression and that worries you. You have a bad feeling that he’s not happy to see you there and suddenly you really regret agreeing with Nat’s plan. The match starts and you try to focus on it and not on Will, you don’t even look at him, he’s busy anyway trying to guide Ben through the fight. After a bit you seemed to ease up and lose yourself in the fight, you’re yelling and cheering whenever Ben is doing good, and Natalie does the same next to you looking incredibly proud of him. The match ends with Benny winning, both him and Will look incredibly proud. Will comes up to the two of you and tells you to meet outside the locker room. He still didn’t look at you and you suddenly feel really nervous again. You swallow, trying to calm yourself. You start to regret not drinking a beer earlier, at least it would have calmed you down a bit. Natalie and you walk toward the locker rooms in silence, she’s in her little happy bubble because of Ben and you don’t want to ruin that with your worries. You stop in front of the door where Ben’s supposed to change and you feel even more nervous now. There’s no crowd here so it means it’s only the two of you now, and after Benny comes out it will be only you and Will, since the love birds will be all over each other. You lean towards the wall quietly, none of you say a word. After a few minutes the door opens, Will steps outside, “He wants you in there.” he says to Natalie. She smiles and walks in while Will holds the door for her. You’re nervously playing with your fingers, looking at the floor, not sure what to say.

“Congratulations on winning the fight.” you finally say after a while. He smiles a bit and nods his head in thank you. He leans towards the wall in front of you, arms crossed over his chest, he’s chewing a gum.

“What are you doing here, Isabelle?” he asks me coldly. You look up to him from the floor where you rested your eyes since you congratulated him. His question took you by surprise, and not gonna lie  it hurt you.

“I came to see Benny.” you see him nod. “Is that a problem for you?” you ask him. His question made you upset and this made all of the nervousness disappear. 

“No.” he looks surprised.

“Are you sure? Because you look like you hate me for being here.”

“It’s not true.” he says defensively.

“Right.” I mutter. You stand with him in awkward silence, not the one you seemed to be so fond of when you first met with him. 10 minutes passes in this awkward silence until you finally see Natalie and Benny walking out of the locker room, you don’t know what they were doing inside but you honestly don’t even want to. She looks at you and when she sees your upset expression her smile quickly disappears from her face and it’s replaced with a confused look. You shake your head, silently telling her to not ask what happened, or at least not here.

“So, who wants to grab something to eat?” you hear Ben ask. Natalie agrees immediately, you shift your weight from one leg to another, you really don’t want to go, especially not after what happened with Will.

“I’m sorry Benny but I’ll pass this, but congrats on your win, you were amazing tonight.” you tell him honestly and give him a smile. He turns towards you and you can see Will’s eyes on you.

“No, c’mon Izzy, you have to come with us. My brother needs your company while I make out with my girl.” you smile at him, but you can’t help but feel sad about what he said about you and Will.

“I doubt that’s true.” you say with a sad smile. 

“Ben” Will suddenly says “Why don’t you and Natalie go ahead and wait in the parking lot while Isabelle and me talk a little?” you’re surprised at this, Ben looks at you and nods. Natalie also looks at you with a worried and confused expression, but you assure her with a nod that everything will be okay and she can go. The couple leave and Will and you are alone again.

“Isabelle” he starts “I seriously meant that I don’t mind you being here.” he seems sincere but you’re still hurt and upset about what happened earlier.

“Then why are you like this?” 

“Like what?” he asks confused.

“You’re cold and rude. I know we don’t know each other well, or for a long time, but when you asked me what I’m doing here, it was rude. It wasn’t the question itself but your tone.” you explain to him. 

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” he says sincerely.

“Why, Will?” you ask him “Why did you do it? You were so nice when we met and now you’re being rude and ignoring me. Did I do something?” you can’t help but feel angry now and helpless about the whole situation, you just want answers. Will is quiet for a few minutes, you see him struggling to find his words, the right thing to say.

“Because I like you.” he says so quietly you think you imagined it. 

“What?” you ask him.

“Because I like you.” he repeats louder this time. You don’t believe what he just said. 

“Then why were you like this?” you ask him. You feel like this whole thing doesn't make sense.

“I...I umm…” you can see him struggling with what he wants to say “let’s just say that it’s hard for me to get close to anyone since my last relationship.” Shit. Now you feel bad for pushing this whole thing.

“I’m sorry.” you say honestly to him, you really do sorry and this kinda explains his behaviour. You too know what it’s like to be in a shitty relationship or go through a bad breakup and distance yourself from everyone. You understand him, you really do. 

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have hurt you, because of something what happened in the past. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I hope you can forgive me.” he looks at you with those gorgeous blue eyes, and you see his vulnerability in it and you can tell that he truly does feel sorry. You give him a honest smile and tell him that it’s okay, but if next time something is wrong, you’d appreciate him being honest. He nods in agreement and gives you a little smile and the two of you start walking towards the parking lot. You agree to go and eat something with the group, but you insist on not staying long because tomorrow you start early at the office again. You actually ended up having fun, Benny is a real class clown with a heart of gold. He really is a sweet boy who seems to make your friend really happy, and this makes you smile. Will and you talked a lot, mostly small talks and shared some stories, but the two of you still don’t know much about each other, but you sure that you like each other. He seems more at ease after your conversation and that relaxed you too. You still don’t know what exactly happened with Will what made him this distant from people, because he only seems to have a close connection with his younger brother, but again you can relate to this. You don’t have any close friends either, sure Kate and Natalie are close to you, but you can’t talk to them about certain things, like about your life back home or what’s happening with your brother at the moment. After the dinner Will offers you a ride home what you accept. You get in the car with him and tell him the address of your apartment building. You spend the ride with him in silence, you don’t mind, because this silence is that comfortable silence you like about Will. He parks his car in front of the building and you’re a bit disappointed that the night ended already. You feel his eyes on you, you look at him and see that he has a small smile on his face, you can’t help but smile back at him.

“Can I ask you out on a date?” he asks suddenly. This takes you by surprise. 

“With one condition.” you start playfully. He nods.

“What is that?” he asks curiously.

“No restaurant dates. I don’t really like restaurant dates, especially not on first dates.” he gives you an expression and his smile grows bigger and he licks his lips before he answers.

“Iz, we were at the restaurant like 40 minutes ago.”

“Yes but that was different!” you can’t help but smile at him.

“Why is that?” 

“Because those weren't dates.” you point it out. 

“Good point.” he nods his head, that small smile is still on his face. You like this, that little smirk he gives you, it makes him look really handsome. “So what would you like to do?” Oh. That’s a good question. You want to go somewhere where the two of you can talk freely, possibly without people around you. You want to get to know him and you feel like being around people makes him a bit uneasy and you don’t want that for him.

“What about going hiking?” he looks really surprised about your idea.

“You want to go hiking on our first date?” he asks in disbelief.

“Well, yeah. It gives us a great opportunity to really get to know each other, there won’t be many people around and we can talk freely. Plus nature is beautiful.” you tell him.

“This kinda sounds like you want to murder me.” he says jokingly. You let out a laugh at this idea, his smile grows even bigger and he laughs a little too.

“I swear I don’t have any bad intentions, I just noticed that you seem tense in crowds. I don’t want that for our first date.” you tell him honestly. You see an expression on his face, you don’t know what it was because it disappears so quickly you had no time to analyse it. 

“That’s really thoughtful of you.” he says quietly. You just nod and give him a small smile. You agreed on the day and time of the date, it will be on this saturday in the afternoon. Will said he knows a good hiking place, but it will take awhile to get there with a car so he’ll pick you up to take you there. You’re really excited at the idea of going on a date with him. The two of you say your goodbyes for the night, and you slept better tonight than in the last couple of days.

[alexthepartyman]

When I’m Saved (Part 1)

AN: This story is a loose and dramatised version based on a true event that happened to me. I have changed names and situations for privacy reasons. This will be a Tumblr and Ao3 exclusive fic. I hope you all enjoy laughing at how much of an idiot I am for getting into this situation.

“I’d like to thank you all for coming in on such brief notice, and I apologise for calling you all in this late.” Section Chief Mateo Cruz greets his tired team after the plane takes off. “You will notice, Dr Lewis is not here. She took a flight out to Peyton, Idaho to be the liaison for the La Byorteaux family. In the meantime, we have Dr Spencer Reid.” 

“What exactly is the situation?” Agent Prentiss asks. 

“Sixteen-year-old Dmitri La Byorteaux was reported missing from Disneyland at midnight, when the park closed. Park security and LAPD are still searching the park just in case he is still there. Dmitri was with his school group, the Peyton Panthers Marching Band and Colour Guard. The LAPD is taking copies of all of their records concerning Dmitri. The band directors are John Tremblay and Mark Wozniak, assistant leaders are Amy Tremblay, Jill Mellencamp, Nicholas Grace, Nicholas Vasquez, Lily Jones, and Arthur Wallace. There are parent chaperones, the one in charge of Dmitri is Ressa Kilburn,” the section chief explains.

“None of them know where he is or can get ahold of him?” Agent Jareau asks.

“No. These girls may know, though.” 

“Adelaide Parker, Tessa Anderson, Emily McClane, Imogen Wilkinson?” 

“His roommates. They were with him for every moment of the trip.” 

“Roommates? Why would they room a boy with four girls? That sounds very strange.” 

“Hello, crimefighters!” Ms Garcia cheerfully greets the team. “I’ve just been through Dmitri’s records that Mrs Mellencamp has provided. He didn’t have a seat buddy on the bus. He was in the back of the ‘orange’ bus, with Imogen and Emily in front of him. And Dmitri is on three medications, two anti-depressants and a thyroid hormone. He is also reportedly allergic to ibuprofen.” 

“Two anti-depressants?” 

“Yeah, fluoxetine and trazodone.” 

“Those two together can create an effect called serotonin syndrome, which is an excess in the hormone serotonin, which is known as the hormone that makes people happy. Symptoms can range from headaches and myoclonus to hyperthermia and a drastically increased heart rate,” Dr Reid says.

“Dmitri’s phone is most likely dead, because I can’t track it.” 

“Does he talk to anybody from the Los Angeles area?” 

“I spotted a few Los Angeles numbers in his contacts. One belongs to a Hussein College. Another is registered to a man named Diego Castro, and yet another is registered to a Jacob Freeman. I’m sending contact information to your mobiles.”

“Castro’s a forty-year-old drag queen. Has the physique to easily overpower Dmitri.”

“Freeman is six feet tall, twenty-one-years-old, also has the physique to overpower Dmitri easily. Do they know each other? Did either of them know Dmitri or each other before yesterday?”

“No. I don’t even think Diego and Jacob know each other now, but I...I just found a picture on Diego’s Instagram, it’s from yesterday, and both Dmitri and Tessa are in it. Diego’s the one hugging Dmitri, the other men are friends of his.” 

“That’s Tessa over there on the other side. And is Dmitri in a wheelchair?”

“Yeah, none of the band records mentioned a wheelchair or a mobility impairment, so let me just get ahold of Dmitri’s medical records…” Typing can be heard through the laptop. “Huh. There’s nothing for Dmitri. At all. Like, he doesn’t exist. I found a Rhys La Byorteaux, though, they have the same prescriptions, same hometown, same last name... same parents… the only thing different is that Rhys is a girl and Dmitri is a boy. They even have the same therapist.”

“Rhys and Dmitri sound like they’re the same person. When did Dmitri start existing?”

“Early 2017. That’s also when Rhys kind of started...not existing… yeah, they’re the same person, records from Dmitri’s clinic show Rhys is a legal name and that he is biologically female, but he is seeking treatment for gender dysphoria and uses the name Dmitri.”

“Oh... he’s transgender? Why weren’t we told of that?” Agent Jareau asks. “I feel like that would be important information to know.”

“I don’t know, but we’re still calling him Dmitri, right?”

“We should, to avoid confusion. How common is that last name?”

“Not very, sir, the only other people I’m finding in America with that last name are the acting brothers and Dmitri’s family... there is a birth certificate for a Luke La Byorteaux, born to Nathaniel La Byorteaux and a Maria Alvez, but I can’t find anything for Luke past 1989.” Agent Alvez looks to the laptop with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Did you just say Maria Alvez?” 

“Yeah, she also kind of went missing, too.” 

“Garcia. Focus on Dmitri.”

“Got it. Dmitri’s medical records look relatively normal until the age of three, then after that, it looks like he’s a frequent flyer in the medical field. He was born relatively healthy for being induced three weeks early, except for the part where his father, Nathaniel La Byorteaux, was removed from the delivery room for protesting when the doctor threw the baby at mother Eva Kelly’s chest, and also for refusing doctors access to newborn Dmitri, who was born anemic.” 

“What kind of father refuses treatment for his newborn child?” Agent Simmons asks. “What started happening when Dmitri turned three?”

“A lot of appointments with specialty doctors, peppered in with ER visits. They referred Dmitri out to an audiologist based on concerns of multiple ear infections and being deaf. They found out he wasn’t deaf by scanning his brain waves when the regular test didn’t work out, and he was developmentally delayed, put in preschool at three, the youngest in his class. He ate a penny, went to the ER to have it pumped out, that’s like the one relatively normal thing that happened to him. Eva Kelly and Nathaniel La Byorteaux voiced many concerns about Dmitri’s never-ending ear infections and the strep throat that he would get constantly, and the frequent nosebleeds that happened nearly daily. He was admitted to the ER many times, covered in bruises from head to toe, bleeding profusely, dangerously high fevers, and they rushed him from the hospital in Ontario, Oregon to Boise, Idaho. CPS was called over concerns of Nathaniel abusing Dmitri, but charges were dismissed once Eva explained that Nathaniel wouldn’t actually beat Dmitri if he didn’t wake up, that was just how Nathaniel woke him up.” 

“What? Nathaniel threatened to beat up Dmitri?”

“Yeah, I wish that was a joke. All of the tests came back that there were no platelets in Dmitri’s system. Anywhere. Zilch. He was given three bags of immunoglobulin and carefully monitored after that. Doctors determined that the only explanation could have been this rare disease called ITP, or-”

“Immune Thrombocytopenic Purpura. The body mistakenly attacks and destroys platelets in the body, which are fragments of cells that help clot the blood when the body is wounded. It usually starts in children after a viral disease, and it usually resolves itself with no need for treatment.” 

“Yes, Good Doctor. Dmitri’s condition was closely monitored after that, and then shortly after his fifth birthday, he was diagnosed with autism by a specialist in Salt Lake City, Utah. He went to the MayoClinic in Phoenix, Arizona for a month to have a splenectomy, and then that August, he and his brother Roger Kelly were nearly killed in a single-car rollover, and more blood bags were needed, both sustained concussions. Dmitri was admitted to the ER again later that month after he reportedly fell from the shelves in his closet during the night, that’s a concussion, and then again after he tipped over one of those old-person motor scooters onto himself, but miraculously, all he had was road rash and a bunch of scratches.” 

“What? Where did he get a motorised scooter?”

“His dad apparently got it after breaking his knee on his stepson, Robert’s trick bike, when he collided with the garden gnome. Robert also split his chin open and had to get five stitches. Again, the garden gnome. No, I’m not making any of this up. Let’s see...no hospital activity until Dmitri got his tonsils removed at age nine, apparently that was the reason he got strep throat five times a year. He went through urgent care all the time for weird accidents, like one time, his face swelled up to the size of a grapefruit because of misusing acne wipes. He went through urgent care at fourteen for a concussion, was sent home, no further testing was done... and then two months later, he was admitted to the ER for a major concussion, tests showed no brain bleeding, he was sent home to recover from it, when to the ER three months ago because he had bled out during a panic attack...He didn’t go to the ER again until three weeks ago, and yeah.”

“How does he behave in school?”

“Uh...Dmitri is mayhem incarnate, constant behaviour issues. He’s noted to be moody, fidgety, stubborn. Quite closed off from his peers, distracted, impulsive. He does his work super fast and is noted to be quite intelligent but breaks the rules. He is known to be very messy, and he is regularly known to be very goofy, often covered in markers and other things.. He argues with teachers a lot, has his phone confiscated a lot, violates dress code a lot, has been involved in weird incidents, has a very filthy mouth, serves a lot of detention for being late, a lot.” 

“He’s a rule breaker. You think he left on purpose?”

“He doesn’t look like he can in that wheelchair. It looks like a park rental. Garcia, check into that wheelchair thing. And check Dmitri’s social media. His emails and text messages, too.” 

“On it. I’m going to update Tara.” The blonde woman ends the call, and the screen returns to a navy blue background. 

“I’m going to call LAPD, tell them Dmitri has less time than we thought,” Chief Cruz says, pulling out his cell phone and stepping towards another section of the plane. 

“How do you bleed out from a panic attack?” Agent Rossi asks. “Kid has got talents.”

“That entire family has talents. A garden gnome?”

“Less talk about the freak garden gnome accident, more trying to find Dmitri. He couldn’t have gotten far if he needed a wheelchair, so someone would have had to carry him out if he got far.” 

“We have to figure out why he was in the wheelchair.” 

“He had a concussion three weeks ago that went mostly untreated, he’s probably still showing symptoms, and he may have developed physical coordination issues rendering him temporarily unable to walk. He may also be extremely dizzy, or his limbs may be extremely weak,” Dr Reid explains. 

“Someone would have had to take him. We should track down Diego Castro and Jacob Freeman, see what they know.” 

“The girls would definitely know what happened to him. We have to talk to them. We should also talk to the chaperones that would know Dmitri the best, starting with John and Amy Tremblay.”

[aperrywilliams]

A Normal Conversation Ch19 (Spencer Reid x Maxine Brenner)

(Not my gif!)

Masterlist - Requests

Ch01 Ch02 Ch03 Ch04 Ch05 Ch06 Ch07 Ch08 Ch09 Ch10 Ch11 Ch12 Ch13 Ch14 Ch15 Ch16 Ch17 Ch18 Ch19

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Summary: Spencer woke up from his unconscious condition. Max and the team take rounds to check his recovery process. Max is still confused about the dream she had and something that Spencer said when he woke up. Spencer noticed Max behavior is not the same and started to worry about.

Word Count: 4392.

Rating: Teen and Up Audience. Some angst. Some fluff too.

Warnings: Not really. Some angst feelings. Too much overthinking.

A/N: Even though I don't like the Maeve’s Arc, I couldn't help included it in the story. This should make more sense in the next chapters.

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Chapter 19: Hospital bed

When Diana left the room, Spencer felt exhausted and closed his eyes to nap a while. Penelope, who was sitting in one of the chairs, saw him and thought indeed he would go back to sleep. After a few minutes Spencer suddenly opened his eyes again and asking for Penelope.

"Garcia...?" he asked in a weak voice. "I need my phone..." he added.

“No sir, how is that you need your phone? No way. You are in no condition... "

"I need to call her..." Spencer tried to say before Garcia interrupted him.

"She is here," Garcia hastened to reply. “She went to the cafeteria when your mom came to see you. Through the surgery she was with us and before you woke up she went out to talk on the phone. She said she would come back in a little while to see how you were doing. Poor girl, you would have seen her when she got here. She will be very happy to know that you are awake. You almost killed her with this!..."

"I didn't mean to..." Spencer tried to say in a tired voice.

“Yes, she knows it too. But I think you'll have to return her well. So you can go thinking of something good!”. Spencer managed to draw a faint smile on his face. He felt weak. Still dizzy. Reid just realized that he was on this side of the world and not the other. Despite that, he didn't want to fall asleep without seeing Max first. He needed even to be able to say something to her.

Penelope saw Max approach the room. Garcia got up without saying anything to Spencer and went out into the hall to talk to her. Max looked at her with worried eyes.

"No, no, don't panic. It's okay. He's fine. He woke up recently”. Max breathed a sigh of relief.

"And his mother? What did the doctors say?" Max asked.

“Diana returned to the residence. Will be back tomorrow. The doctors said they will continue the tests, but it is a good sign he has woken up." Garcia put her hand on Max's shoulder to calm her down. "Max, our boy genius returned... and wants to see you."

"Is he conscious?" Max asked nervously.

“Oh yes, he is. Boy Genius was asking me for his phone to call you”. Max breathed a sigh of relief as she shook her head. She wanted to get in, but she wanted to compose herself first. Max didn't want to look a nervous wreck to Spencer.

“Come in, I'll go make some calls and find the rest of the team. Take your time”. Max nodded, took a deep breath, and walked into the room. Max didn't know how she was going to react when she saw him again. She approached slowly and saw that Spencer's eyes were closed. Max leaned a little closer and took his hand. He opened his eyes and saw her. A faint smile spread across his face. Max felt like his heart was going to jump out of her chest.

"Hey..." Spencer said in a tired voice. Max smiled back at him and leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Hey... how are you feeling?" He squeezed her hand.

"Still dizzy... I don't know... my head hurts..." Spencer replied.

"It's natural, you just woke up from your surgery" Max said softly.

"Internal bleeding…?" he asked to confirm his theory about what was happening to him.

"Yes, that's what the doctors said." Max stroked Spencer's hand she was holding and with the other she touched his forehead and hair. “But the important thing is that you must relax. That will make everything work better."

"Max… I wanted…" Spencer said in a whisper.

"Don’t. Better not speak yet, you have to regain your energy first.” Max tried to stop him but Spencer ignored her.

"I came back. I decided… to come back…” Spencer mumbled in a low, almost imperceptible voice. With eyes shut. Max stopped breathing for a second. Wasn't it a dream?

"Spencer... please...". Max was confused.

"Let me... say just one thing... please...". Reid insisted.

"I don’t know what you're talking about…". Spencer swallowed with a bit of difficulty.

“You went looking for me and I rejected you. Forgive me… I don't know why I hesitated… I… I…”. Spencer said visibly shocked and dizzy without knowing much else to say. Could he tell her the real reason? Still his mind was confusing him between what he saw or dreamed. He could well be rambling on about things that were only in his imagination. But what was real for him was feeling guilty for making Max suffer.

“Spencer, please… you are still affected by the anesthesia. Take it easy. You were very bad, that scared us all. But we have you back…”. She hesitated a bit before continuing. "... I have you back." Spencer smiled and watched as tears rolled down her cheeks. She noticed and saw that he wanted to say something. "Don’t say anything, they are tears of happiness. Blame it on my nerves."

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course. I'll be here" she said smiling.

"Thank you ..." Spencer replied almost in a whisper. Without letting go of Max's hand, he closed his eyes and began to fall asleep. Max without letting go either, took the chair that was next to the bed and pulled it closer. She sat there while stroking Spencer's hand. It was a short time before she realized Reid was completely asleep.

Max could notice how Spencer's breathing deepened and slowed as he slept. Without releasing his hand, she leaned back in the chair and dropped her head back, staring at the ceiling. She really felt relieved, but she still felt her body shaking. The last time she was in a hospital it was with her mother dying. That memory made her eyes fill with tears again. She tried to control her breathing to calm herself. This time it was different and Spencer would be fine... at least she hoped. At least that was what mattered now. Her mother had also told her in the dream. After all this passed she would think about whether an "us" was still possible for them.

She had fallen asleep with Spencer's hand taken and her head resting on the mattress of the bed. Max startled when Penelope touched her shoulder to wake her up. It was already morning and Garcia had returned with the team to see how Reid was. Max managed to open her eyes and getting up from the chair, she slowly released Spencer's hand to prevent him from waking up. She and Penelope went out into the hall to meet the team.

"Max, how is Spence?" JJ was the first to speak.

“He had a good night. He is sleep now... at midnight a nurse came to check on him. They injected him with some medicine and he didn't realize it. Then at about 4:00 am another nurse came and repeated the same procedure. The doctor will come around 10:00 am… what time is it…? It was obvious that Max was still sleepy.

"It's already 8:00... a little more" said Matt.

"I see you stayed all night… have you eaten something?" Emily asked.

"No... since yesterday ..." Max mused.

"No, that's not right ..." Tara stated.

"I have an idea..." Emily said again. “With Tara and Penelope we join to you so you can eat something and the rest can stay with Spencer while the doctor comes to see him. Then you could go home for a while to rest. You need to sleep. Then you can come back a little more recovered”. Max nodded.

"Okay. I'm going to get my things. She went back into the room to take her purse. With one hand she stroked Spencer's forehead and hair, unaware that he was waking up.

"Max…?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, here I am... relax, you must rest" she whispered in his ear.

"Are you leaving?"

"Just a few hours. Your team came to see you and I'm a mess, I need to eat something, take a bath, those things..."

"You will come back?"

"Silly, of course I do. But don't worry, you're not going to be alone, you won't be able to miss me," she said trying to joke. Spencer smiled.

"I feel like I miss you already... and you haven't left" Spencer murmured between awake and asleep at the same time.

"Dr. Reid, don't get romantic now." Max reached over and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "I come back soon. I promise".

Max left the room and went with Tara and Emily to the cafeteria. JJ and Luke stepped in the room and Matt stayed outside. Upon entering, JJ approached Spencer and spoke in a soft voice so as not to disturb him.

"Hello Spence. We came with the team to see how you felt. You don't need to speak... "

"Uhm ..." Spencer muttered who was still asleep. JJ sat in the same chair where Max had been during the night and guard his sleep for at least an hour until Spencer was suddenly fully awake and conscious.

"JJ!... Lynch..." he said trying to get up so he could speak better. JJ stopped him by getting up from her chair.

“We know it, we knew it. But now it's over. Lynch is dead,” she assured him.

"How…?"

"That does not matter now. The important thing is that it’s over and that you are better…”. Spencer calmed down again and laid his head back on the pillows.

"Did you talk to Max? ..." Spencer said softly.

“Yes, she told us how you had spent the night and the nurses' rounds. The poor thing stayed here all night ”.

"JJ, is it true that I almost…?" Spencer wasn't able to finish the question.

"Oh Spence... I don't know, but the scare you gave us was terror."

"Who found me ...?"

"Penelope and I..."

"How long was I ...?" JJ covered her face with both hands trying not to cry.

"Spencer, I’m so sorry. We found you the next morning when we found out you hadn't come to work and Lynch was still alive. You were alone all night. I'm never going to forgive myself for that…”. Spencer swallowed hard. That he was alive was apparently a… miracle? But he did not believe in miracles.

"It's my fault ... I didn't want to be checked" he said to try to make JJ feel better although a bitter feeling stuck in his chest. He thought he remembered Foyet sympathizing with him at his impending loneliness.

He tried to sit up to be a little more comfortable. JJ arranged some pillows behind his head.

“Even so I should have insisted. Lastly, having told Max to come see you…”. There was a silence in which you could still hear some sobs from JJ

"JJ... I saw them..." Spencer said at one point. She looked up at him.

"Who... did you see ...?" she asked fearfully.

"Guideon ... Strauss ... Foyet ... and...". A little sigh tore his chest. "Maeve... and... JJ I was about to go with her." Tears welled up in Spencer's eyes as JJ was in shock.

“Spence, stop it. Don't go on, this is not doing you any good…" said JJ

"I have to tell someone, please." She nodded and took his hand.

"Okay, but please don't be disturbed..." begged JJ

“I don't know what happened… at first… when I saw her, I was so convinced that I wanted to go with her… but I think her own words dissuaded me…”

"What did she say?"

"That the world was a place worth being..." Spencer recalled with a blank look.

"Did you believe her?"

“I think so… I thought about my mom, about the team, about Max. I suppose that is why I am here now…”. There was a silence that was broken when the doctor entered the room.

"Good morning Dr. Reid, how are you feeling today?" She walked over to the medical chart hanging on the bed and checked it.

"I'm dizzy and my head hurts a little..." Spencer replied.

“Yes, that is normal and it should decrease with the hours and days. Anyway now we are going to do some additional scans to monitor your progress. Spencer nodded. Two orderlies entered and moved his bed into the hallway and took Reid to his medical tests. When the bed left the hallway, Luke, Matt, Tara and Emily approached, who had eaten with Max and then sent her in a taxi home.

"How did you find him?" Emily asked JJ

"Physically he looks a lot better... but..."

"But…?" Prentiss questioned.

"Emily, I think we really came within minutes of losing him." JJ almost broke her voice saying that. Tara held her for a few seconds. Prentiss made her worried face.

"What do you mean with that?" Luke asked.

"I'm not sure... but I think he had 'an experience'...". Prentiss knew exactly what JJ was referring to so he set her aside for a second.

"Who did he see?" Emily asked once they were out of the ears of the rest.

“Guideon, Strauss… Foyet. It must have been awful..."

"Someone else?" Prentiss inquired. JJ nodded.

"Maeve. Emily... he told me that he was about to go with her…"

"Our poor Spence and his ghosts coming back for him..." Emily wailed. “Do you think Max knows this?”

"I don’t think so. You already know Spencer"

"Well, he will have to tell her sooner or later"

"I hope it's sooner rather than later" JJ replied.

When Spencer returned to his room, the rotating visits started. He looked better than in the morning. This is how Luke and Matt hung out with him for a while. Then Tara and Penelope. Then it was Emily and JJ's turn.

"Where is Rossi?" Spencer asked.

With Kristal. He has a leg injury thanks to Lynch” Prentiss confirmed.

"What happened?"

Emily told Spencer about the events of that fateful day. Kristal's abduction and how Rossi had to finally confront Lynch.

"Did you blow up the jet???!!!..." Spencer expressed in disbelief.

"Don't remind me, in the next bureau meeting I'll have to give a lot of explanations" grumbled Emily.

"Wow, why do I miss these things..." Spencer thought still surprised.

"Because you're a stubborn Spencer," Emily claimed. "If you had let yourself be checked, you would not have flown with us." Spencer just sighed.

"Okay. I know. Are you going to suspend me?" Spencer asked.

“Me? No sir, not at all. But I will force you to take a long leave and I hope this time you will listen to me”. Spencer just shrugged. He knew he deserved that scolding. JJ was behind Emily and seconded all her words.

"Are you on her side now?" Spencer asked looking at JJ

“It's the most prudent thing to do. Spence, a leave won't hurt you. On the contrary”.

It was after 4:00 p.m. and Max had returned to the hospital. She peeked into Spencer's room and saw him sitting on the bed. That lit up her face. He looked clearly more refreshed. He saw her arrive and gave her a welcoming smile.

"You really came back..." Spencer said.

"I promised you," replied Max smiling. "And I told you that you were not going to have time to miss me."

"You don't know that..." Spencer declared, shaking his head. Prentiss looked at JJ and motioned for they leave the room.

“Well, we are leaving… we still have federal bureaucracy to close this case. Take care, Spence. Tomorrow we will come to see you again” Prentiss pointed out. Emily and JJ gave Spencer a hug and then Max before they left the room completely.

“You look much better than in the morning. What did your doctor say?" Max asked as she walked over to Spencer's side.

"We have to wait for the tests, but she told me that she saw an improvement and in a few more days I should feel better and I could go home". Spencer affirmed, reaching out one of his arms to take Max's hand.

"Does your head still hurt?" Max with his free hand tried to sort Spencer's hair that was on his face.

"No, not now…" Spencer muttered, shaking his head.

"I'm glad to hear that…". Max's voice sounded serious and her eyes looked worried. Spencer noticed it immediately.

"Max, what's wrong? Why do you have that face?"

"I don't know... I think I still have my stomach stuck in my throat... I really was very scared." Spencer started stroking Max’s hand with the pad of his thumb.

“Hey… everything's fine now. I just have to take care of myself, but everything is fine... okay? I don't want to see you like this..."

“Spencer, I am the worst girlfriend you could have. I still don't know how I didn't realize that something was wrong…”. Max protested with visible anger towards herself.

"You had no way of knowing... I was not prudent either..."

"And what does that leave us?... Now I have to believe in miracles?... No Spencer. That is not right".

"I would believe in anything just to be grateful for having this opportunity to be here with you again...". Spencer lifted his linked hand and kissed it softly.

"Please don't do this to me again..." Max begged.

"I promise. Really Max, I never wanted to scare you like that"

"I know. I know. It's just my stomach clenches thinking about all the hours of waiting without any news…"

"I’m sorry. I know you don't like hospitals..."

“I was not going to stop being here for that. Although now I think that with the amount of visits you have received today, I should let you rest" Max pointed out.

"Are you going to leave?... you just arrived". Spencer complained.

“No, I won’t leave. I just think you should sleep. I brought some books to keep you company"

"I'm glad you brought reading, but that's not what you will do now...". Spencer assured.

"Oh no? And what will I do now?" Max asked curiously.

“You will sit next to me in this uncomfortable hospital bed and cuddle with me. I miss your cuddles…”. Spencer said pouting.

"Do you really want me to do that?... what happened to the aversion to displays of affection in public?" Max jested.

"Are you going to argue with your ill boyfriend?... too bad Miss Brenner" Spencer said teasing Max.

"I could go right now so we wouldn't have to argue…" Max mused jokingly as well.

"If you do that I am able to get up and run after you in this hospital gown," Reid warned.

" Uhmm, sexy" Max replied with a wicked smile.

"Come here…". Reid pulled Max's hand he was holding and caused her body to collapse onto the hospital bed next to him, dropping her back onto his lap.

"What are you doing?... Spencer, stop..." Max said giggling. Spencer leaned down and with one of his arms under her neck lifted her to meet her lips with his. Thus they began an intense kiss. Reid pulled Max closer to his body, taking her hips with one of his hands. When they pulled away to breathe, they both opened their eyes and looked at each other with a smile that neither could erase from their faces.

"Uhm ... much better" Reid said satisfied with his accomplishment.

"I can't believe what you just did…" Max said, feigning annoyance.

“Don't be offended… but you threw me on the grass with a running watering sprinkles the day we met. That was not nice of you." Max started laughing.

"Okay, okay. So you don't say that I don't do anything for you”. Max got up from the bed for a moment to sit down again but now next to Spencer, pulling him towards her body. He without protesting rested his head on Max's chest as she wrapped her arms around his torso. Spencer hummed in complete satisfaction. "Better this way?" Max asked.

"Perfect," Spencer replied. They fell silent, Spencer could hear Max's heartbeat and that relaxed him. Max came to think he had fallen asleep.

"I'm sorry" came out of Reid's mouth from one moment to the next.

"And why is that?" Max asked as she stroked Spencer's back with her fingers.

"I had been distant these last days…" he mumbled.

“You don't have to apologize for that. You were working…”. Max pointed out in matter-of-fact tone.

“Even so, we haven’t be together so much in the last couple of weeks. I missed you”. Spencer whispered muffling his words in Max’s chest.

"Someone is in need of affection today," Max joked.

"Have you not missed me?" Spencer questioned.

"Of course I do! And even more so if you were about to scare us to death!" Max complained.

"I promise to make it up to you for that," Reid assured.

"Uhm ..." was Max's reply. She didn't seem very convinced about it.

"And what was that?" Spencer asked curiously.

"Nothing" answered Max. Spencer knew Max wasn't saying something.

"I don't think it's 'nothing'. I would like to know”. Spencer tried to push Max to say what she was thinking.

“No. You don’t… and really, it’s doesn’t matter”. Max didn't want to talk about the waiting hours or the dream she had. Nor about Spencer's words when he first woke up.

“Max. I know is something bothering you…”. Spencer insisted as he kissed her collarbone.

“It’s not a big deal, really Spencer. Now we have more important issues to care of”

"Yeah?”

“Yeah. We need to get you out of here. To improve your condition. To take you home for a full recovering”

“I’m feeling okay...”

“Sure you do. But is not enough. You know... your body needs a break time to time”. Max pointed out while still rubbing Spencer's back and from time to time playing with the curls of his hair.

“Hey, I’m the doctor here...” Spencer joked.

“I’m serious Spencer...” Max frowned.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just wanted light the mood”

“We worry for you... I worry about you”

“That’s what you don’t want to tell me?”

“What?”

“I know you worry about me. But there is something else… I know there is something else”

“Are you going to keep pushing?” Max complained.

“Stubborn, remember?”

“We are going to talk about it, but not now. Do you trust me?” asked Max kissing the top of his head.

“I do” Spencer stated confidently.

“So, trust me. Nothing important to talk about in this moment”

“Okay. I guess when you will be ready you will tell me...”. Spencer sighed defeated. If he was stubborn, Max was too.

They were silent again. Now it was Max who might have fallen asleep at that moment. But Reid was apparently was eager to talk.

“So... you met my mom”. Spencer started the conversation again.

“Yeah, I did” Max replied.

“Did you guys talked?”

“Sort of”... “Well. The mood was not so chatty you know? But she seemed a great woman. She loves you so much. She was devastated seeing you in this bed”

“Yeah, I could guess she did. What did she say when you told her who you are?”

“Ehm... nothing particular”. Max began to feel uncomfortable. Would she have to tell him that she didn't even introduce herself 'properly' to his mother?

“Non?... you sure?”. Reid was puzzled.

“Yeah... why do you ask?”

“I’m sorry... maybe she forgot”. That was the most logical reason he could think of why his mom hadn't recognized Max.

“What?”. Now it was Max who was confused.

“I told her about you but she must forgot…” Spencer mumbled.

“Did you?... did you talk about me to her?”

“Of course I did. You thought I didn’t because she didn’t recognize you?”... “Max, I’m sorry, you know she has Alzheimer…”

“I know. That’s not my point. Just I couldn’t tell if she really didn’t recognize me...”

“Why is that?”

“Ahm... well... maybe I didn’t tell her exactly who I’m. Let’s say I didn’t tell her any at all” Max said with a grimace.

“But… why not?”. Spencer didn't understand why Max had done that.

“I don’t know. Maybe I thought you didn’t mention about me to her...”

“But Max... you’re my girlfriend, why could I keep hide that from my mom?”

“I... I don’t know. You are always busy, you see her no so frequently... it’s not that important anyway”. Max shrugged.

“It’s to me. You’re right I don’t see her that much but I write her letters, you know? Always I do that, and of course I wrote about you to her. She knows...”. Spencer raised his head to meet Max's eyes.

“Now I feel stupid. I didn’t even say my name to her…”. Max tried to avoid eye contact with Reid.

“I don’t understand why you did that... what is it Max?...”

Max couldn’t reply because at that moment, Spencer's doctor entered the room.

“Good afternoon Dr. Reid. I see you’re feeling better”. Max jumped off the bed.

“Yeah. I really do. Thank...thank you”.

“Good to hear it. Now we need to take some blood tests and another scanner”. Doctor said nonchalantly.

“Oh... okay”. Reid replied.

“Your girlfriend could stay here meanwhile. It’s not a problem”

“Thank you” Max mumbled.

“You’ll stay? Right?” Reid asked to Max.

“I promise, I’ll do”

Spencer started to worry. Not for the blood tests nor the scanner. He worried for Max’s last behavior. She looks more distant about some topics. There is something bother her and she won’t tell him about. She met his mother and didn’t tell her who she was. What changed? He in the hospital could be a trigger for strange behavior? Maybe. Even so for the time they knew each other he could tell something happened. He is not going to push her right now but he made a mental note about it. They need to talk about it sooner than later.

As the stretcher pulled away he gave Max a smile. She handed him another. Were they in this together? Apparently yes, but something Spencer was missing and it began to haunt his head. Had he done something wrong without knowing it?

———————

[tuliptx]

Outlaw Woman Ch2

Rated M - this is a serious rating y’all. There’s derogatory terms and sex and violence. The MC world is not a soft place but I won’t water it down.

Lexi is constantly finding herself in the middle- She belongs with the SOA, family is everything, but finding her role within that family is hard. She has to find a balance and a place before she just teeters over the edge and gets lost in the madness. Love, Lust, Violence, and Hilarity.

Jax x OC x Happy - David Hale x OC

Hey guys! Lets act like we’ve done this before ok? No copying my work- I don’t own SOA etc etc. I LOVE Lexi. I put a lot of myself in her and I would adore your feedback. Check out my Master List Here. 

Happy locked eyes with Lexi as he slid his calloused, masculine, strong right hand under her left knee. Lexi couldn't help the sudden intake of breath, her lips parting ever so slightly. The room suddenly felt way too small. No man had ever made her nervous like Happy did. She had no idea what to do with that. It had been years since their one night. One night of mindless pleasure. No names had been exchanged. No club affiliation ever discussed. That night had gone completely unacknowledged even after they realized. Verbally at least. It was for the better.

Thank God he wasn't around more because as is, these moments are getting far too frequent. As his hand slid slowly but with purpose down her calf lifting her ankle onto his jean clad knee she held her breath. He lifted it just off his knee sliding the ice pack under to cool it from behind where it looked to be the most bruised. "Hand me that gauze." His voice was slightly deeper than normal- less raspy. She nodded dumbly and then, and then the most embarrassing thing ever, she let out a loud hiccup that was so violent it actually caused her to bounce slightly off the bar.

Lexi was mortified; she couldn't look up at him. She hadn't even had warning enough to cover her mouth. Her face immediately began to heat up and she handed him the gauze as quickly as she could before taking a long pull from the bottle of Jack at her side tossing the lid across the room. This day had been exhausting- she had every intention of making it all go away by drinking as much of this bottle as she could. 'At least the hiccup had killed that moment before anyone could walk in on that super sexy eye contact,' she thought.

Her leg was so smooth and warm from the sun. Happy's mind went blank when she bounced- he'd been captivated by the jiggle of her DDs. Really, he had to get ahold of himself. If Tig kept catching him staring like this- it'd be his nuts. Especially now that she had an old man. His eyes wandered over a fresh piece of ink on her calf. She was lucky her boots had protected it. A beautiful reaper curved along her calf. The style very reminiscent of the one painted on the door- this one held more color. It was centered in a golden frame with the shadows of crows dancing behind its head and in its extended palm instead of the traditional anarchy sign it held a glowing sacred heart. He had to rein this shit in. Happy didn't like being out of control of anything- with Lexi he felt he was out of control of EVERYTHING. From the moment he’d arrived in Charming five years ago only to learn that sweet wild delicious piece of ass he’d fucked on the road was actually Tig’s sister, he’d been fighting to get a solid grip on things. She never followed direction, she was always putting herself in bad situations, she was ever chasing adventure and danger. That he was attached to her in the slightest was dangerous. EVERTHING about Lexi was dangerous for him.

"So what was all of that about?" he distracted as he began to gingerly wipe the blood off of her leg, putting slight pressure on the scrapes to stop the bleeding. "Fucking idiot probably should have done this first," he muttered. Lexi laughed, "yeah well you know my brother- more bullets then brain." Hap smirked nodding his head and continuing to work on her- long golden soft warm- leg. "That stick in Tara's ass has been super-sized lately. It's starting to affect the functionality of her brain." Hap glanced up at her, "but why? Why you?" Lexi scoffed taking another pull off her bottle, "I honestly don't know where this started. She's always hated me, but since she came back- she wants me dead." She took another pull, "Jax definitely isn't helping things. This reminds me I have to find a new place to hide my key." "Wasn't your old man mad when he showed up like that?" Lexi almost shot whiskey out her nose- which burns for a very long time if you've never done it. "What old man? What have you been smoking Hap and can I have some?" Hap reached into his pocket with his left hand using his right to apply light pressure. He fished out a joint and handed it over and she giggled in delight.

After a deep inhale, holding the smoke in her lungs, "What're you talking about Hap?" her accent continued to thicken with each vice she partook in. He gently tapped her tattoo and then ran a finger firmly down one side of the frame. "OH!" She was becoming more animated; her hands were now flying as she was speaking to him causing some of the booze to slosh out. "No, I got that just for me. It's not a crow. I got shot six months ago, Clay and Gem and Tig and the boys all said I earned my own reaper. I had to make it a little more girly though. I'm just not the kind of girl to rock anything overly masculine." Happy's brain had stopped on the shot part, "see this is what I'm talking about! How the hell did you get shot?" Lexi's eyebrows furrowed as she leaned forward, "what you're talking about?" He shook his head, "How the hell did you get shot?" She leaned back eyeing him suspiciously but in her buzzed state quickly let it go shrugging and smiling, "drive by." She unbuttoned the top button on her blouse allowing her to shift the collar so he could see the vibrant pink shiny new flesh where she had taken the bullet. And also a good flash of skin and pink lace. Happy shook his head. Focus. He took the bottle from her taking a long pull only to realize she’d already knocked back more than half of it. Well that wasn’t good.

Focus. He hadn't heard of a drive by. "Drive by where?" "Oakland." "What the fuck were you doing in Oakland?" "I had a meeting with a gallery in Oakland. I sold three paintings- Jax took me to a bar after to celebrate." "What the fuck?"

Jax should know better than that.

He had put Lexi in danger.

He had started this thing with Tara too.

Lexi was the artist of the door and the tattoo. Well that made her hotter. Fuck.

Happy filed it away at the look of confusion on Lexi's face. Her blue eyes were sharp, even in her inebriated state. He schooled his features trying to look casual. He'd have to ask around about this when she wasn't around. Something about all of this didn't seem right. What the hell was Jax thinking- or better yet what was Jax thinking with?

Before he could even process all of this new information two things happened: One, Tig, the Prospect and Chibs came laughing and rough housing out of the dorms; two, the front door to the club house was thrown open with a loud BANG. Gemma cut a formidable figure in her bitch heels; large black hobo bag slung over her shoulder. "Little girl, you have a lot of explaining to do!" Lexi was immediately off the bar forgetting her swollen foot and leaving the half smoked joint in an ash tray. The pain immediately reminded her why she’d been smoking it in the first place and she reached out gripping Happy's shoulder for support. He stood and maneuvered her to his stool. The way the two moved with each other was so natural- the all-seeing mother bear quirked an eyebrow, not missing a thing. Happy pulled up a second bar stool and lifter her foot; replacing the ice pack, only when she was situated did he step away. Then again Alexia is family and Happy was notoriously protective of SOA family- especially the women. Though, no one would ever label him a nurturer. Gemma filed this new observation away for a later date.

"You fucking broke the doc's nose! You better have a damn good reason!" Gemma scolded charging toward her beloved pseudo daughter. "Gemma you know me better than that! The bitch started something she didn't have the ass to back up." "Why the fuck would she do that Lex? Jax was at your house last night! That's why!" Happy’s shoulders tensed and he leaned back against the bar staring at the juke box intently. Lex rolled her eyes, "that's an issue you should take up with your son." Gemma threw her purse on the counter, "I would if I could but he's too busy talking Tara down." Lexi threw her hands up, "this is nuts! Why do I have to defend myself when I was just defending myself!" "Lex, you know I’ve always thought you were better for Jax then that little tart, but when you sleep with another woman's old man she has every right to give you hell. You screwed up you should take it!" Lexi, now seeing red, threw that mother fucking bottle of booze against the wall behind Gemma who covered her head and stared at her pseudo daughter in shock. "I didn't do shit!" The entire club was silent in the wake of the bottles shatter.

Tig came up behind Lex quietly, putting an affectionate and comforting hand on her shoulder. Her chest was heaving from screaming and a tear of rage sank down her cheek. Lexi was not an angry girl but she had a temper that she struggled with at times- one that had been passed down to both of his children by Dan Trager. Chibs turned to the Prospect, "go get me medics bag." Half Sack nodded and slipped out of the room silently, relieved to be anywhere but here. "You know what Gem?" came a low soft lilting Texas accent, "If I had slept with Jax, yes, Tara would have every right. I have never slept with Jax. I don't intend to sleep with Jax. I. Don't. Want. Him." She took another long deep breath and the queen opened her mouth as if to say something but quickly shut it. "Jax," Lexi was disgusted, "broke into my house last night. I had no idea he was there until the morning. I am sick,” her voice hitched, “I am sick and tired of your fucking son putting me in the middle." Lexi looked up from where her eyes had been glued to her lap. Making eye contact with Gemma, Gemma felt her spine go cold at a look that was violent and fed up. "Tara jumped me- pulled me off the bike- Jax did nothing- I defended myself. That is the last time I am saying it to you Gemma. Believe who you want."

Gemma sat down in the nearest chair with a dramatic sigh. “Well why didn’t you just say so.”

Lexi closed her eyes and took a deep breathe trying to calm herself. Happy noticed that her hands were clenched and shaking. TIg glanced at the Killer and followed his dark stare. He lovingly, gently pried her fingers apart and rubbed his thumbs over the crescent imprints from her nails. Chibs made his move then, the medic's bag appearing in his hand. Got to give it to the Prospect, he had come and gone with no one noticing. Chibs moved to Lexi's side examining her scrapes. "We need to clean these honey and then we need to take a look at that ankle, see if it's broken." Lexi nodded allowing the Scott to clean and bandage the wound on her thigh in silence but not before she scooped up Happy's abandoned beer on the bar and downing it in one go and taking a long hit off the joint. "When I know what's goin on with your ankle, I'll give you something for the pain and to chill your nerves love." Lexi gave him a thin smile before carefully putting the now significantly shorter joint between the Scotts lips who gave her a roguish smile in return. “I’m good,” she muttered.

From her spot at a table Gemma lit a cigarette massaging her temples as she puffed and puffed. 

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy dir the ask Game

Aaah! *^* Thanks for asking, I had hoped that may come up! xD

Answers under the cut though, because this turned into... literally 3k words worth of fangirl rambling. That’s what happens when you make me talk about the things I love the most. *ducks head*

Top 5 favourite characters: Spike, Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, Rupert Giles

Other characters you like: let’s make that five more then! Daniel Osbourne, Andrew Wells, Cordelia Chase, Anya Jenkins, Drusilla

Least favourite characters:Dawn Summers by a landslide

Otps: Spike/Buffy, Tara/Being Alive, Willow/Tara, Xander/Cordelia, Xander/Anya, Giles/Joyce (I always wanted Giles to become Buffy’s dad, officially and legally ;-;), Cordelia/Buffy, Giles/Spike, Oz/Andrew (LISTEN, I love Oz, I hate that he left and only came back once to see his girlfriend his now a lesbian. I wanted him to return for good and I wanted Andrew to be explicitely gay and not just Word Of God gay)

Notps: Xander/Dawn - like, her crush on him was cute and all, but that season 8 really had to make THAT canon was… not necessary… Also Giles/Buffy is really the only Hard No ship I’ve encountered in this fandom, otherwise even when I don’t vibe with a ship, it’s more a shrug and keep scrolling

Favourite friendships: THE GOLDEN TRIO. Xander-Willow-Buffy. I love them

Favourite family:The friends we found along the way. Seriously, the Scooby-gang absolutely counts as a family. Joyce and Giles are the parents, Xander and Willow (who supposedly have parents but we never meet them and they don’t seem to care much) are as much a part of this family as Buffy ;^;

Favourite episodes: HAH! The one show where I can actually name them, without having to cross-check what the episodes are called and what happens where! xD

Once More With Feeling: clearly. IT’S A MUSICAL EPISODE. And it is so good. The singing is so good. I immediately bought the soundtrack and I listened to it on a loop for months. Then the content! The Spuffy is so good, the Buffy angst, everyone gets an adorable moment and then that ending that kills me

Tabula Rasa: I love this episode. It is so whacky but again also with angst, because that Willow/Tara is murderous

The Body: I mean, in a masochistic kind of way do I love this episode. It is… it is so heartbreaking. I’ve seen it like twelve times now and I still cry every single time. How vulnerable Buffy is, the Tara-Buffy friendship, Anya has one of my favorite moments when she confronts what death means. This episode is an absolute sucker-punch

Favourite season/book/movie: Season 6, hands down. Other TV shows always try to one-up it - so they fought demons in season 1, how about they fight SATAN HIMSELF in season 3? The escalation is very rapid in most supernatural shows nowadays. That Buffy took a step back and spent essentially a whole season on character development and friendships and human issues? Also two of my favorite episodes happen in this season, so that makes it all the more special to me!

Favourite quotes:Okay, so, full disclosure I love the musical episode but I listened to Rest in Peace THE MOST. And the lines “I died so many years ago, you can make me feel like it isn’t so” just completely wrecks me. Like, there’s a whole lot of memorable quips in this show and the line “I’m the thing that monsters have nightmares about” is ALSO absolutely outstanding

Best musical moment: When Buffy says “I think I was in heaven”, just the way her voice breaks, the reaction on everybody’s face? This silly musical just outed her biggest secret, the thing that’s going to hurt everyone around her with guilt and the thing that’s wrecking her life. That moment is so good

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: William Pratt. Getting explicit flashbacks to flesh out Spike’s past, to meet the man he used to be and see what he was like. Also genuinely every any flashback about the Fanged Four. This is something I KEEP yelling about in all the supernatural genre shows - if you have centuries old characters then USE THAT. Show me their past! Seriously the wasted potential of flashbacks around Magnus Bane on Shadowhunters is downright insulting. But Buffy? Every time it explored more, showed me more, I fangirled so hard. Also genuinely when Buffy slept with Satsu in season 8 - like, I know there were no grand romantic feelings but Buffy Summers had sex with a woman and… c’mon, Buffy’s not 100% straight, she just isn’t, I stand by bi!Buffy

When it really disappointed you:When some greedy asshat decided to do a comic reboot and retcon Willow into being Out And Proud in high school and be Gay All Along. Fuck. You. Like, yeah, sure, obviously am I all for out and proud teenage rep! But not at the cost of erasing existing rep! Not when it’s a retcon that actively erases an “I took longer to realize my feelings and be true to myself” lesbian, because those exist and are valid and deserve to be seen too and by retconning her into being out in high school, instead of having boyfriends in high school and only coming to terms when she is in college and actually MEETS her first lesbian to realize that this could be her truth, by doing that, you’re effectively sending the message that only Gold Star Lesbians are valid and genuinely fuck you for doing this. Also, from what I’ve heard that comic reboot effectively erased Drusilla’s insanity and victimhood to have her be an evil mastermind villain and… no… that’s not the character anymore then; a huge point of Drusilla was that she was a victim, most specifically Angel’s victim, that he broke her completely so we can see the bad and depth of Angelus’ worst days, it’s important for the plot even if it makes you uncomfortable to see a woman be a victim, in her case her victimhood and her insanity are literally what make her her. You just created a new character. There is some really wrong SJW bullshit going on in there and it’s dumb. If you wanna tell new stories, do that. But don’t take this existing beautiful story and slaughter it for your own whims what the fuck, I genuinely loathe that this comic exists and I’m glad that the TV show thing is going to be a spin-off sequel and not an actual reboot because don’t fucking reboot Buffy

Saddest moment: Joyce’s death, definitely. But also when Giles decides to leave, that breaks my heart every time

Most well done character death:ALSO Joyce’s death

Favourite guest star: I… really don’t know, like I don’t know who’d count as just guest, when looking at the cast list most the ones I would have said are technically recurring characters and then it’s also not really asking for the character but the actor, huh? Retrospectively probably Wentworth Miller, because he has become an actor I like a lot so seeing smol!Wentworth in Buffy is adorable

Favourite cast member: James Marsters. If tumblr existed back when Buffy first aired, all my Dominic Sherwood obsession could be fully translated onto him. He was one of my three first actor obsessions and he still remains that, to this day

Character you wish was still alive: ANYA. There was no need to kill Anya off in the finale, I wish season 8 could have had that happy, good Xander/Anya content… ;-;

One thing you hope really happens: I am so excited and afraid of the sequel spin-off. That could be so great (or a disaster and that’s the part that frightens me), but what REALLY needs to happen is that Sarah Michelle Gellar guest stars. Of course not as a regular, it is supposed to be about a new slayer. But I need them to then also acknowledge what has been before. Maybe others could guest star too, cameo occasionally (though it would be hilarious if Andrew was a regular and like a… guide to the new kid). Ideally, I would get to see every Scooby at least once in this spin-off but what really needs to happen is that Buffy Summers appears in it

Most shocking twist: When they killed off Buffy… and there was another season. Like. This was pre “everybody dies and is frequently brought back from the dead, death doesn’t stick” TV era (actually, it is the mother of that trope, really), so that was… really a shocker.

When did you start watching/reading?: Ironically, during my least favorite season. Season 4. The initiative was the most bland and obnoxious plotline, Riley/Buffy is a ship I really don’t dig and I was a teen so American college was Weird And Confusing and also uninteresting. However, I had been DYING to watch that show for three years and been deemed too young to watch it so it was really exciting that my mom finally allowed me and also I WAS right on time for the lesbian coming out and that still to this day blows my mind because Willow and Tara were the first lesbians I got to see on TV and it still means the world to me. I then got caught up on reruns, watching the first three seasons, but even on rewatchs, plot-wise season 4 is the weakest for me

Best animal/creature: Miss Kitty Fantastico, by default? xD I think she is the only animal in the whole series… and she just kind of… disappeared too ôÔ°°°

Favourite location: THE LIBRARY I LOVE THE LIBRARY SO MUCH

Trope you wish they would stop using: Mmmh… I… I mean, when rewatching this as an adult, I gotta admit the early Angel/Buffy is very uncomfortable. Back when I was Buffy’s age and younger I thought it was the coolest thing that this vampire loved this teenage girl, but as an adult I have come to re-evaluate all the 16/17 year old girl getting together with a 100+ year old vampire because that most definitely is a very concerning age-gap and… not necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always also hold love for them because I loved them back when I first watched it too and I think they have a fascinating and epic tragic romance, but… media’s gotta stop pushing the idea that centuries old immortals find high school kids romantically and sexually attractive; it’s not a good look

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Clearly sell me on the canon romance, if you look at my list of OTPs where nearly all of them are canon. Also THIS IS PROPER FOUND FAMILY YO. I’m so tired of shows pretending to be “the team is a family” and then it’s all just deceite and distrust and miscommunication and tragic. AND where this show 100% outdoes… literally everything else I have ever read and watched is the mental health. Buffy died and came back from the dead and instead of just shrugging it off and doing business as usual, we spent a whole season on her depression and dealing with the aftermath of it. Same goes for Willow and her grief over Tara and her addiction. Bad things happen to the characters and it’s not just used as a cheap ploy for more drama, they have ramifications and are being dealt with.

Funniest moments: When Tabula Rasa made everyone assume new identities and everyone thought Giles was Anya’s sugar daddy and Spike’s actual father? Also the time that Giles kept himself a pet-Spike in his home because no one trusted Spike yet (reasonably so). And honestly, countless more - this is one of the funniest shows I ever watched, the quips and one-liners are absolute killers.

Couple you would like to see: Huh. Can I go really vague and say that I would like to see a wlw couple with at least one lesbian in the spin-off sequel? Like, obviously do I hope that this new iterations brings more rep to the table - LGBT as well as POC because if I have to admit one flaw in my favorite show then that it’s very 90s white - but even among that, I really hope there will be at least one lesbian character, who gets to have an on-screen romance

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: As mentioned above, I hope Sarah Michelle Gellar and others join the cast at the very least as guest stars.

Admittedly, I also would murder to see Dominic Sherwood play a vampire on this new show.

Those two would be the ones I’d love to see join the cast. However, I kind of got lost in an entire fan-cast here, so have my pitch for what I’d love the spin-off’s cast to look like. I have no idea what age-range it’s going to be though. Probably teenagers again, but I kind of hope early to mid twenties.

My dream cast, which isn’t going to happen because she already has a lead role in a TV show so she’s too busy, but I’d LOVE to see China Anne McClain as the new slayer.

And, okay I admit this is Marvel based type-casting, but I’d LOVE to see Lyrica Okano as the witch friend (the group needs a witch friend).

Sarah Jeffery for the Cordelia-type role. The bitchy cheerleader - but she’s actualy a closeted lesbian who joins the team when she accepts her own identity and befriends the group.

It’s probably also type casting to make David Castro play another brooding vampire, but listen he’s about the same age as China and he would give off good Angel vibes to her Slayer?

Jane Lynch as the Watcher. But not a soft dad like Giles, more the grumpy, annoyed mom who now has all those irritating children running after her even though she is just trying to teach her charge how to be a Slayer.

Favourite outfit: EVIL DOPPELGÄNGER WILLOW’S VAMPIRE DOMINATRIX OUTFIT *^*

Favourite item: I love the dumb axe. Like, I think it looks WAY too modern to be this ancient tool, but dang it’s pretty

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: my phone-case, all seasons on DVD, the soundtrack of the musical episode on CD, I probably still got my old bedsheets somewhere. I do wish I had more merch, in a different time I probably would have spent all my money on Buffy figures, but those weren’t available way back when and now that I have access to the internet’s treasure-hunting-sites, I… have learned to… mostly… manage my money better than mindlessly buy merch (though if Funko Pop finishes that… Rock Candy series with all the main characters, I will definitely buy those. As it stands, there’s only Willow and Buffy available right now…)

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: I would definitely not be a slayer. Maybe a witch??

Most boring plotline: The initiative. Seriously. I’m HARD anti military and this bullshit of college soldiers policing the supernatural world was… boring and weird. Got even weirder when it turned into Frankenstein at the end

Most laughably bad moment: ooof that puppet episodes had quite some intentionally cringey moments

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: ALL OF THEM. NOT A SINGLE NOT GOOD FLASHBACK THERE. GIVE ME ALL OF THE PAST

Most layered character: Spike. Fight me on that. Seriously, his past as a human, as a vampire, his present, his will to gain a soul, his dynamics with all the Scoobies, I love him. To be fair, Buffy is also the most layered character though

Most one dimensional character:huuuh… Dawn? I mean, seriously she is just every teen angst trope crammed into one, with zero tolerance for what the only slightly older adults may be going through, they even made her shoplift for attention, I swear she could have only been more of a cringey teen trope if she also Cut For Attention… -___- Like. She… She got slightly better with time, but out of all these multi-facetted characters, she is definitely the flattest

Scariest moment: Puppets creep me out so the puppet episode was definitely scary for me. Also the Silence I mean damn that was an amazing episode but it was creepy as fuck

Grossest moment: mh… I can’t think of one, really. I’m unsure if there were any really gross moments

Best looking male: Spike!

Best looking female: Doppelgänger Willow. Don’t judge me. Also Evil Willow. Okay you can judge me a little

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Never really had a crush on any of the characters

Favourite cast moment: That was… pre-internet times, we didn’t get immediately swamped by posts and videos and photos of the cast, there was very little access to these things so I was never really exposed to that

Favourite transportation: THE RV. I loved when they were on the run for half an episode and just all lived in an RV together :D”““

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): I really don’t know

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:It’s a very well-rounded series and I was never actually left with major questions

Best promo: The best promo it had was running in our living room so I could carefully sneak a peek when going to bed and thus want to watch the show :D”

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: When Willow/Tara happened. I didn’t even know that I’m a lesbian back then. I was like 10 back then. This was literally the first time I saw two women be together. Back then I didn’t know what about it amazed me so much. Cue in 12 year old Phoe slowly realizing “oooh I’m a lesbian that’s why the lesbians spoke to me”. But yeah, being the first show to show me lesbians exist, that was when I fell in love and then I got to watch the whole show and it is just such a perfect show that it was impossible not to love it

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

[zutaralover94]

Secret child, run away bride/groom, sex hotline operator

So I did not get a little teary-eyed writing this. This is the secret child AU. I am working on the other two. I will make sure to tag you in both of those when I post them. Anyway, Thanks so much for these three prompts! Here we go!

Zuko picked up another box of ramen cups and all but sighed as he put it in his basket filled with similar easy make meals for one. It was just his typical once a month, late night grocery shopping trip. Things that spoiled faster he bought at the convenience store at the end of the block. He pushed the basket a little further down the aisle when a kids came running by with a quick ‘Scuse me!’.

Zuko paid the child no mind. It was normal this late at night for parents to let their kids run through the empty store. He looked back to the dark haired kid stepping up on the lowest shelf. Zuko stepped away from his basket to help the child out. “Here,” Zuko grabbed for the pickled sea prunes and placed it in the child’s hands.

The kid blinked up to him with a smile and a high pitched, “Thanks!” before running back off and down another aisle.

But Zuko didn’t move an inch.

The little girl looked like Azula but with really tanned skin. And maybe without that evil little sister glint in her golden eyes. Her dark hair was pulled back in the messiest pigtail buns. And the uniform she wore wasn’t one of the local schools. And the pickled sea prunes… That wasn’t an everyday…

Nope!

Not possible.

Zuko shook his head and walked to his cart. It was a long day already. He just needed to get home put a mac and cheese cup in the microwave and sit on the couch in his boxers. He deserved it. After the four hour long training session with new employees. Then the next four hours spent on a international conference call. And after all of that he had to play catch up on what he had missed through his training sessions and the meeting. Plus with the end of the month reports due in the morning, Zuko stayed an extra three hours.  

He pushed his cart down the next aisle and debated cereal or pop tarts. He always went for the pop tarts because again he didn’t want to have to buy milk only for it to go bad because he doesn’t have time in his morning to do a sit down meal. So poptarts-

Zuko reached out for the moving cart as the kid from the aisle earlier was now standing in the cart and grabbing at a box of cereal causing the cart to move back from under her.

“Lulu!” The mother, or who he assumed was her mother, reached out for the child. Grabbing her just in time as her and the box of cereal decided to tumble out of the cart. “Oh spirits.” The woman cradled the child into her arms and Zuko gently pushed  the cart back. “Thank yo-,”

Zuko finally looked up to fully taken in the familiar looking woman. Her hair was pulled back in a  loose ponytail, her shirt rode up on the side the child was propped on, and her jeans looked well worn. She blinked bright blue, tired eyes at Zuko.

Zuko could swear on whatever you laid in front of him now that, this, Katara with a child on her hip, was definitely the most beautiful sight he had ever taken in.

“Be careful next time, okay kid?” Zuko smiled to the little girl as she was set back in the basket and told to sit down. She did as she was told and nodded to Zuko. Katara gave a brief smile and pushed her cart away.

+++

“Mommy, who was that?”

“Huh?” Katara blinked up from where she was staring at her shaking grocery list.

“That guy had golden eyes like me!” Lulu smiled up to her mother.

“See I told you there was other people out there with golden eyes!” Katara smiled back tears and looked down at her list. She had gotten most of everything on the list and whatever was left, Sokka could come get himself.

Katara pushed the cart to the checkout area. There were only two lanes open right next to each other. Katara blew a breath of relief to not see Zuko anywhere around. She began loading up the conveyor belt with groceries and a few thing Katara forgot to pack for her and Lulu.

“She’s a cutie.”

Katara looked out of the corner of her eye to see Zuko placing his items on the conveyor belt next to hers. She bit her lip and turned to take more groceries out of her basket. Maybe if she ignored him…

“Thank you!” Lulu smiled brightly and handed Katara a bundle of tomatoes.

“You are very welcome.” Zuko gave an identical smile. Katara stacked three bags of chips on the belt. “Party?”

“Yes,” Katara was quick to answer. “Lulu hand me the deli meats.”

Lulu did as she was told, “It’s for my birthday!”

Katara and Zuko paused simultaneously. Katara took a deep breath and held it as she heard the dreaded question that was masked in a happy tone.

“And how older are you going to be?”

“Five,” Lulu wiggled slightly in the cart. “But I’m only four right now. That’s not until next week even though we are celebrating it this week with Uncle Sokka and Aunt Suki.” The little girl handed the last can in the basket to Katara.

“Five years old.”

Katara cringed and prayed the cashier would checkout her items faster. She needed out of this store. It was silly for her to bring Lulu back. Sokka and Suki could have done her birthday another time. But Lulu had begged to see her brother’s large dog, who was correctly named, Bear. And when Sokka said they could stay for as long as they wanted as long as they picked up groceries, Katara quickly agreed. So Katara packed up as soon as she got off work, picked Lulu up from daycare and start her four and a half hour drive.

Katara guessed 11 p.m. was just not late enough to go grocery shopping.

“How old are you?” Lulu was leaning on the side of the cart.

“Lulu, it’s not nice to ask people questions.” Her mother gently scolded her child.

“It’s fine,” Zuko nodded. “I’ll be 28 in a few months.”

“You’re older than mommy!”

Katara grabbed Lulu out of the cart and pushed the now empty cart to the bagger. She held onto her daughter’s hand and watched the total on the screen add up with each item. Just ignore him a little longer. You can do this.

“Yeah?” Katara watched out of the corner of her eye as Zuko leaned down to Lulu’s height.

“Spirits!” Lulu gasped.

“Lulu!” Katara turned to her child.

“Mommy! Look he’s hurt!” Lulu pointed to the light pink scar down the left side of his face.

Katara did her best not to react to the scar. But Lulu was right. It was hided well under his long bangs. “Honey, it is rude to point to out things like that.”

“It’s alright,” Zuko lifted up his bangs to show off the skin. Katara raised a hand to her mouth and her daughter reached out to touch her father’s face. Katara quickly grabbed the hand in hers. Zuko looked up to her and let the bangs fall. And Katara could have sworn the whole world stopped around her.

“What happened?” Lulu brought their attention back to her.

“Lu-”

“Well when I was just a little older than you. I had a very mean dad who didn’t like me very much.” Zuko told Lulu.

“That’s so sad.” Lulu tightened her hand in Katara’s. “I didn’t know my dad. But Mommy says he was a very nice man and went to heaven because he helped all those people in the burning building. He was a firefighter.”

Zuko blinked in surprise a few times before looking up to Katara.

“165.98.”

Katara had never been so happy to hear someone else’s voice and quickly turned to the cashier to pay for the groceries. “Thank you.” she tugged on Lulu’s hand to signal they were leaving. Lulu’s ‘Bye!’ echoed around the empty store.

Katara quickly turned on the car and loaded Lulu into her carseat before turning and loading the groceries into trunk.

“A firefighter huh?”

Katara froze briefly, before nonchalantly wiping her eyes with her arm, “She asked and I told her.”

“A lie.” Zuko bit back.

“Well, I certainly didn’t think we would ever run into each other ever again.” Katara continued to pile in her groceries.

“But what about when she got older? And had other questions. Then what?” Zuko tightened his grip on the cart.

“She wouldn’t ask because you,” Katara huffed as she lifted the potatoes into the trunk as well. “Her father is dead.”

“But I’m not dead 'Tara.”

Katara slammed the truck closed and turned to Zuko, the fire he loved so much caught ablaze in her eyes. “I did what I thought was best. I wanted her to know that you were a good person but reaching out for you was like reaching past the grave. Completely unobtainable.” Katara nudged Zuko’s cart with her own so she could put it in the return.

“When was I ever 'unobtainable’?” Zuko bumped her cart right back.

“The minute you took over your dad’s business.” Katara pushed back and finally made it past Zuko.

“I thought we were okay with that?” Zuko said after she had returned to her car.

“No,” Katara opened up the driver’s door. “You saw the opportunity to move up and left no time for me or our unborn child.”

“If you would have just told me-,”

“You would have what?” Katara stepped back towards Zuko. “Huh? Tried to work less hours? Maybe get a vacation day here or there? Quit?” Katara snorted an ugly laugh.

“I-,” Zuko sighed

“So I left,” Katara crossed her arms. “Because that was the only option left.”

The two stood in the quiet of the late night. Stuck in their own thoughts.

“I don’t expect anything now that you do know.” Katara looked back into the car to see Lulu yawn and swipe on a game on her tablet. “We’ve made it this long.”

“Katara,” Zuko sigh and pushed the cart back and forth a few times. “You shouldn’t have to do it alone. She’s my daughter too.”

“You really don’t have to. I’ve been making it well without you for the past five years.” Katara looked back to Zuko and frowned. “I really should get her to Sokka’s. She needs to go to bed.”

“Right,” Zuko nodded in agreement. But they both stood there for a moment.

“Good bye, Zuko.” Katara finally said her voice breaking through the tears that had started to form again.

“Bye, ‘Tara.” Zuko whispered and began pushing his cart towards his car.

“The party is at 6 tomorrow.” Katara called out. “If you get off in time, you should swing by Sokka’s. It’s my parents old place. You remember where that is?”

“Really?” Zuko’s smile practically lit up the dark parking lot..

“She turns five and loves ducks and turtles. Her favorite color is red. Spirits, if she isn’t your child through and through.” Katara gave a wobbling smile.

“Turtles and ducks. Got it.” Zuko nodded. “Do I need to bring anything else?”

“Ha, probably a bodyguard!” Katara yelled across the parking lot.

“What-?” Zuko asked but Katara was already in her car and waving bye.

+++

“You ran into him?”

Katara nodded to Suki who sat opposite of her on the couch. A game of cards between the two of them on the center couch cushion. “And I may have invited him…” Katara bit her bottom lip and gave Suki a guilty look.

“Katara!” Suki exclaimed and looked round. “Sorry, what were you thinking?” Suki laid down three 5s on to the center and placed a 7 in the center.

“I wasn’t.” Katara shook her head and looked at her hand.

“So you invited the father to your daughter’s fifth birthday party. The daughter thinks her dad died in a fire but he’s actually coming to her birthday party.” Suki picked up more cards from the center.

“Possibly. There’s still a chance that he won’t make it.” Katara sighed as Suki set down a wild card on her straight. “Plus Lulu has no idea that Zuko is her father.”

All of Suki’s cards fell out of her hands as she gaped at Katara. “I’m sorry who did you say the father was?”

“Why do you act so surprised?” Katara down her large straight. “Then again I guess you did come into this kind of late.”

“I mean I remember you both were seriously dating. But I don’t-,” Suki began picking her cards back up. “I honestly thought she was Jet’s.”

“Agni, Jet feels like decades ago. We only dated until I couldn’t hide the fact I was pregnant.” Katara laid out a pair of 2s. “I’m glad that didn’t work out. Heard he was a leader of an air band.”

“No way,” Suki rearranged her card before placing her set of 2s down. “Do you think we could invite him too for the entertainment?”

“I swear to Yue if you call him I will demote you as Godmother to Lulu.” Katara threatened weakly.

“Just try and stop me.” Suki laughed and waited for Katara to play her hand. “So why did you invite him?”

Katara sighed and dropped her hands down into her lap. “I-,” Katara let out a long breath. “We were talking about how I don’t really need him to be here. That we are fine on our own. I don’t know.” Katara finally slumped back and over the armrest causing her back to pop in about three places.

“I think you do.” Suki finished her hand with a clap. “And you should just say it out loud while it’s just you and me here.”

Katara wrinkled her eyebrows and shook her head. No, I don’t have those feelings anymore. It’s been five years. I’ve gotten over it. I’ve gotten over him. But there was a tug in her chest that made her feel hollow. Like it knew the lie she was repeating over and over again in her head. “Nah, I really don’t think I do.”

+++

Zuko showed up a little after six jiggling the keys in his hands and looking out to Katara’s parents house.

They had a kid. She was five. She loved the color red.

I wanted her to know that you were a good person but reaching out for you was like reaching past the grave. Completely unobtainable.

Her name is Lulu. She has the beautiful tanned skin of her mother. Her dark hair like his.

I’ve been making it well without you for the past five years.

Zuko grabbed for the gift. It was his oldest memory of his mother. A small yellow duck. His mother would be overjoyed to know that he had pasted it down to his child.

“Okay, you can do this. You’re here for Ka-Lulu. You are here for Lulu. Give her the gift. Wish her a happy birthday. Good,” Zuko talked himself into finally opening the door and getting out. “Hey, it’s me. Zuko. I came to give Lulu her present. Yes. Good.” Zuko whispered to himself as he walked up the sidewalk to the house. Streamers and balloons had been tied to the banister and around the door. Zuko pressed the doorbell and a loud deep barking erupted on the other side. Zuko jumped and almost took back to the car but the door opened before he could.

“Hey. it’s me-,” Zuko started with a raise of his hand. Sokka glared at him and man five years can really buff up a dude. Zuko swallowed and held out the frilly pink sparkly birthday bag. “It’s for Lulu.”

“Well, duh it’s her birthday.” Sokka leaned against the frame of the door and looked from the present up the arm to the person holding it and back again. “What are you doing here?”

“I-uh,”

“Sokka, please.” Zuko heard Katara’s slight beg towards Sokka. Sokka opened the door for him but before he could make it over the threshold Sokka’s arm came out to stop him.

“Hurt my sister or her baby and I’ll have you buried six feet under without any traces of you being gone.” Sokka growled under his breath then switched to a smile when another girl passed through the hallway. “Suki, you remember Zuko right?”

“Vaguely.” Suki stretched out a hand and shook Zuko’s. “Welcome, you can put your presents on the table. We are all out back anyway.”

Zuko followed the couple after Sokka closed the door. He placed his gift along with the rest of them before making his way out through the sliding glass door. He was surprised to see lots of faces he knew already one or two he didn’t. There were three kids playing in a sand pit including Lulu. When she saw him, she waved but quickly went back to playing.

“You made it.” Katara gave just a small smile and gestured to a lawn chair. “We’ll have sandwiches soon. But we were waiting for Toph to get back with the cake.”

“Oh okay,” Zuko nodded and sat down in the chair next to her.

The party went on with light talk and laughter. There was a few stories that filled Zuko in from the past five years, a few he remembers himself. He found himself quickly brought back into the circle of friends. He was even invited to a BBQ happening next month. But he couldn’t bring himself to give a clear answer whether or not he would be there. This all, everything, depended on Lulu and her mother.

Zuko happily stood behind Katara and Suki as Lulu opened presents. “And this one is from Zuko.” Katara placed the pink sack in front of Lulu. Lulu looked to where he was standing before ripping out the tissue paper.

Lulu let out the loudest squeal yet as she reached into the bag. “Oh my spirits! I love him!” Lulu squeezed the yellow duck. “I am going to take him everywhere.” Lulu looked directly at Zuko with honest golden eyes.

“I’m really glad you like him.” Zuko smiled at his daughter and felt emotions he never knew pop into his chest. He coughed and excused himself to down the hallway as he felt the warmth begin to swim in his eyes.

Zuko blew out a breath and wiped at his eyes. Five years. He had missed out on five years of her life. That was time he would never get back. Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a shaky breath. This could be the very last time he would ever see her again. Zuko sucked in a breath of air through his teeth as he realized he didn’t know who he was more upset about never seeing again, Lulu or Katara. “Oh fuck.” A tear slid down his face and he sniffled.

“Zuko?” Katara laid a hand on his shoulder.

Zuko turned in surprise, “I’m fine.” He opened his mouth and rubbed at his other eye when he realized that it was going to start leaking too. “I, um, I guess it’s time for me to leave. Will you, um,” Zuko cleared his throat. “Will you let her know that her dad.” Zuko swallowed and a tear leaked down the other side of his face. “That I love her very much.”

Katara looked to be struggling to hold back tears too but she nodded.

“I’m sorry, ‘Tara.” Zuko gave a weak smile. “I hope someday you will both forgive me for the last five years.” He finally gave up trying to wipe the tears out of his own eyes and focused on the ones running down Katara’s face. He swiped thumbs over Katara’s cheeks, “And all the years to come. Please forgive me.”

Katara reached up to Zuko’s wrists and tilted her head into Zuko’s left palm with a light kiss, “I’ll let her know. The truth.” Katara pulled Zuko hands away from her face. “So, um expect her to be on your doorstep saying she hates me and wants to live with you now.” Katara and Zuko both let out a light laugh.

“As long as you’re not far behind her.” Zuko leaned his forehead against Katara’s. “I’ve really missed you ‘Tara.”

“I-I’ve missed you, too.” Zuko watched tired blue eyes close before he closed his too. They stood there and listened to the party still going on in the other room. Katara and Zuko both leaning on the other for the first time in over five years.

“Ahem!” Zuko and Katara broke apart and took a step back from one another as Suki stood there with an eyebrow raised. “Be glad it was me and not Sokka.” Suki turned back to the party.

The birthday girl’s parents stood there in awkward silence for way too long of a moment.

“I hope that you come to the BBQ next month. I’ll be bringing Lulu with me.” Katara said after a deep inhale.

“I’ll make sure to put it on my calendar.” Zuko nodded and stepped to the door. “I’m going to go. I don’t want to overstay-,”

Katara quickly stepped up to him and kissed him on the cheek, “Thank you for the gift. Ursa would be pleased that you kept it to give to her.”

“Yeah,” Zuko felt a blush creep up like he was a teenaged girl. “Bye, Katara.”

“Bye, Zuko.” Katara smiled and leaned against the door to watch the love of her life leave. But not for long. And never, ever did another five days go by without them seeing each other.

Author’s note: I was going to do this big long flash back of Uncle Iroh knowing that Katara was pregnant and sending her money each month. And in respect she was going to name her child after Lu Ten. So I went with Lulu. 

[mrsjaxtellerfan]

Coming Home (Jax x OC) (Chapter 11)

Hey guys! So beyond sorry for the delay life has been crazy lately. Co-written with @lookprettyliveclassyplaydirtyyt

Hope y'all enjoy!

Warnings: Language, SMUT SMUT SMUT

Chapter 11

“Oh god.” I groan, blocking the sun from shining in my face.  I reach out to feel for Jax, finding his spot cold. “Jax?” When he doesn’t respond I make my way to the bathroom, before washing my face and brushing my teeth.

“Let’s go wake up your mom.” Jax says opening the door, Sophia carrying food.

“I don’t want to wake her up. I don’t like her anymore.” Sophia huffs.

“Phia, we talked about this. Your mommy didn’t mean those things she said. She loves us.” Jax says to her.

“She was mean to you.” Sophia scoffs.

“I deserved it, Sophia. I wasn’t being nice either.”

“But she took me away from you, so she is the meanest.”

“She brought you back, didn’t she?”

“Yes.” Sophia huffs.

“Let’s go wake her up, then we can talk.”

“Fine.”

“Hey.” I call from the bathroom.

“Hi, we brought you tylenol and food.”

“Thank you, babies.”

“Daddy did it. I didn’t want to.” Sophia scoffs, glaring at me.

“Thank you, Sophia.”

“Are you going to take me away again, Mommy?”

“Sophia!” Jax yells.

“You said we could talk about it.”

“I didn’t say you could insult your mother.” Jax scolds.

“Jax, it’s fine, she has a valid point. No baby, we aren’t going anywhere.”

“Then why did you tell daddy we shouldn’t have come back?”

“Because I was upset.”

“You told me we can’t take things out on other people.” Sophia huffs.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. Your daddy knows I didn’t mean it. I wouldn’t hurt either of you like that.”

“Can I go play now, daddy?” Sophia asks, ignoring me.

“Yeah, Sophia. Go play.” Jax says.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper, once Sophia leaves the room.

“Sorry doesn’t bring people back.” Jax says, putting the food in front of me.

“I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Baby, what happened to you was traumatic. I get it, but Sophia doesn’t know. She is just a child, and I don’t think I want her to know. She needs to always see you as a good person.”

“I don’t want her to know either, Jax.  I just, I need some time to work through it. I fucking killed a man, Jax.”

“She wants to go see the birds at the zoo. Come with us. Work that Tequila outta your system.”

“I think I need to be alone for a bit. You take her and I’ll see you both later.”

“You gonna run away?” Jax asks, concerned for Sophia and me.

“I don’t know, Jax. I need some time to think.”

“Don’t leave. Sophia, Abel and I need you. Just take some time to yourself today. Please don’t leave, baby.” Jax begs, reaching out for me.

“Only because you don’t know how to use a washing machine.”

“It bubbled over one time!”

“One time too many. I’ll take Gemma with me, we will go get our hair done or something.”

“Alright. 5 hours, and Sophia might want you to apologize to her. You did hit me.”

“Shut up, Jax.” I smile up at him.

“Fine, kiss me, and I’ll shut up about you hitting me.” Jax smirks.

“Fine, come here.” I smile, pulling him to me and planting a kiss on his lips.

“That the best you can do, babe?” Jax asks, winking at me. Before I can respond, Sophia comes in.

“Mommy, will you come to the zoo with us? I want to hold your hand by the birds.”

“Baby, mommy is going to go out with grandma.”

”But I want her to go with us.”

“Let me get ready.”

“Babe, you need some time to yourself.” Jax responds.

“Jax, my baby needs me. Also, I want to push Abels stroller. Plus Gemma and I can go tomorrow. I’ll be fine, Jax.”

“Thank you mommy! I’m sorry I was mean.” Sophia says, coming and hugging me.

“It’s okay, baby.”

“No, it’s not okay, mommy. You always said not to hurt people you love.”

“Baby, its okay. Don’t you worry about it. Now, go tell Grandma that you are going to the zoo and ask her if she can help get you and Abel ready while your daddy and I talk.”

“Can I take Hank with me?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks, mommy!” Sophia shouts running out of the room shouting Grandma.

“Babe, you sure you’re up for it?” Jax asks.

“I don’t want to miss this, Jax. It’s a big step for her.”

“I know but after your breakdown last night, is it a good idea?”

“Weren’t you the one just trying to get me to come?”

“Yeah, when I thought you were going to leave us.”

“I would never leave you, Jax. You have brought Sophia even more out of her shell that she was. Also, who else would be her mommy?”

“I don’t know?  Heard Tara’s up for the position.” Jax laughs.

“She is not going to break this family apart, Jax. Asshole.” I scoff, pushing him away from me.

“I’m kidding, don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“Better fucking be kidding. And, my panties aren’t in a twist, because I’m not wearing any.”

“Don’t start something you can’t finish babe.”

“I bet we have enough time for a quicky.” I wink.

“Actually we don’t.”

“MOMMY! DADDY!!! You’re not ready yet?” Sophia yells from the living room.

“Buzzkill.” I mumble.

“I’m all yours later, baby. You can make up for being mean to me.” Jax winks, standing up heading into Sophia.

“You bet your ass I will!” I yell after him.

“Why are the birds so big, mommy?”Sophia says, looking up at me from her spot between me and Jax

“Because they are predators.” “What’s a predator?”

“They help keep pests out of farms, so you can eat creamed corn, Sophia.” Jax says, lifting her to stand on the side of the ledge. “They can’t hurt you, princess.”

“They aren’t as scary as I thought.” Sophia laughs. “They are kind of cute.”

“No, I told you sweetheart, they can’t hurt you.” Jax said. Lifting her off the ledge and putting her on his shoulders.

“Do they have names?” Sophia asks, holding on to Jax's hair.

“I’m sure they do, babe.” I say, looking up at her, with a content smile on her face.

“Can we go see the penguins now?” Sophia asks.

“Anything you want, darlin’.” Jax says, walking toward the penguins, putting Sophia down so she could see them swim.

“Then I want cotton candy.” Sophia yells, pulling Jax’s hair as he puts her down.

“After the penguins. You and your mom, I swear.” Jax laughs.

“Cotton candy is amazing, Jax. I don’t remember you complaining when you were eating it off the croweater.” I scoff.

“Oh I don’t disagree, babe, it’s really good. If I recall, you dared me to eat it off of someone.”

“Yeah, I meant me.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” Jax asks, raising his brows. “If you want me to eat foods off of you all you had to do was ask, baby.”

“Nah, I wanna be the one eating whipped cream off of those abs.” I joke, running my hand down his chest before grabbing his hand in mine, lacing our fingers.

“Opie?” I ask, turning toward the exit of the bird exhibit.

“Hey, didn’t know you guys would be here. Brought the kids.”

“Yeah.” Jax says, stepping in front of me. “Sophia wanted to see the birds.”

“She did? She doing better?”

“It’s none of your business.” Jax sasses.

“Yes, she is. She’s doing amazing. Finally getting over those fears.” I reply, putting my arm around Jax’s waist.

“That’s good. Her birthday is coming up, isn’t it?”

“What’s it to ya?”

“Jax, stop.”

“I’ll see y’all around.” Opie says, making his exit.

“Wait, Opie. I know you transferred to SAMREN, but maybe you could bring Kenny and Ellie. It’s a princess party. Tommy is gonna be there.”

“I’ll talk to Donna and Lyla.” Opie replies.

“One of them can come too, if that’s more comfortable.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“See you around, Opie.” I say, turning back to see Sophia’s face pressed against the glass as she watches the penguins swim.

“Why’d you invite him?” Jax gruffs.

“Because he is your best friend, even if he did fuck up. You miss him, I can tell. What happened was my fault. I got with Opie to get back at you for Tara and I shouldn’t have. I hurt you and I hurt him.”

“Baby.”

“No, it’s true. What happened is in the past. We need to move on and you need your best friend back.”

“Thank you for thinking about me.” Jax says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, kissing my temple. His other hand holding Sophia’s.

“Can we get cotton candy now?” Sophia asks.

“What color do you want, baby?”

“Pink!”

“You and your mom both.” Jax says. “One pink cotton candy please.”

“Make that two.” I laugh.

“Sophia, look at the peacock.  Look how pretty its feathers are.”

“They are so pretty!”

TWO WEEKS LATER

“Jax, you sure we should leave the kids? Sophia’s party is this weekend. I should be planning.” I say, packing an overnight bag.

“It’ll be fine. They will be with my ma. Plus we need some time alone. My mom has party prep under control.” Jax replies, kissing me, before taking my bag and making his way out.

“Alright, you guys have a good night.” Gemma says, shooing us out the door.

“Love you Soph!” I yell, from the door, kissing Abel’s head.

“Love you too, mommy! You too, daddy!” Sophia yells back.

“Love you too, princess!” Jax shouts, kissing Gemma on the cheek before kissing Abel’s head, leading me out.

“Taking the car or bike?” I ask.

“Do you even have to ask, darlin’?” Jax smirks, making his way to his bike, strapping the bag to the back. “Get on, babe.”

“Don’t rush me, I’m short.” I laugh, throwing my leg over the seat and using Jax’s shoulders to push myself up. I wrap my arms around his waist, planting a kiss on his back. “I love you.”

“Hold on tight, baby.” Jax squeals out of the driveway, making a sharp left.

“Jax!” I scream, clutching him tighter.

“Hey! It’s my favorite shorty!” Chibs yells as we walk into the clubhouse.

“Just because I am short, does not mean that I can’t kick all of your asses.”

“Not denying you can lass.” Chibs winks, hugging me.

“Looking good, Ari. You decide your done with him and wanna try out this dick?” Tig smirks, pulling me in for a hug.

“No Tiggy. I’d rather not fuck someone who has a thing for dead bodies.”

“You hurt me.” Tig gasps, putting his hand over his chest.

“Tig, man, don’t hit on my old lady.” Jax laughs, pushing Tig.

“Old lady? Is she getting your crow?”

“I already got it.” I laugh, winking at Happy who gave it to me.

“And I missed it. God, you better send me a wedding invite. Or an E vite those are in now.”

“Wouldn’t forget the dude who wants to fuck the bride.”

“Hey, I’ll fuck the groom too.”

“The only person fucking me is Jax, but if you wanna fuck Jax, be my guest as long as I can watch.” I wink, causing Jax to snort.

“That can be arranged.” Tig laughs.

“Woah, hold up, don’t I get a say?” Jax asks. “I’d much rather fuck Juicey.”

“Hell yeah, baby!” Juice squeals, smacking Jax on the ass.

“I would pay good money to see that.” I say, laughing as Juice and Jax step away from each other. “Actually, on second thought, I’d pay good money to be in the middle of that.” I joke.

“Now that really can be arranged.” Jax winks.

“I’m game.” Juice laughs.

“Beer, Ari?” Half Sac asks, with a cute smile on his face, we were all happy when he got patched in.

“That would be great.” I smile back, taking the offered beer. A couple hours later the SAMCRO party is in full swing, the booze and weed making it a lively event.

“Hey, baby, can you get me a beer?” Jax asks, biting my ear.

“Sure thing, baby.” I reply, getting up off of his lap, leaning down to kiss him, showing my ass and new crow to the room.  The crow letting every croweater in there know that Jax Teller was officially off the market.

“Hey, Kip!” I shout over the music. “Can I get two more beers?”

“Sure thing!” Kip smiles, pulling the beers out of the cooler, popping the tops off, and handing them to me.

“Thanks!” I make my way back towards Jax spotting a leggy blond sitting in his lap. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Look, slut, Jax is busy.” She sneers. I scoff.

“Who the fuck do you think you are calling a slut? I’m his old lady you two-bit tramp! Get the fuck up before this ends badly.”

“Make me.”

“Oh, bitch, you fucking asked for it.” I roar, pulling her off of him by her hair, dragging her to the door, pushing her out.

“Stay the fuck away from my old man.”

“You bitch!” She yells, smacking me across the face. I rub my cheek, staring at her dumbfounded.

“Did you just fucking hit me?”

“You bet your ass I did.” She remarks, raising her hand to hit me again.

“You’re gonna regret that.” I say, grabbing her hand before it can hit me, pushing her  back and punching her with my other hand.

“Break it up, guys.” Kip says, as Jax physically drags me, kicking and screaming, away from Ima.

“Come back here again, bitch, and I’ll break more than just your fake ass nose!” I yell after her, Jax dragging me back inside.

“Babe, what the hell?” Jax asks, finally letting me go.

“That bitch was all over what’s mine.” I scoff. “Plus, she hit me first.”

“You’re jealous.” Jax smirks.

“Am fucking not.” I retort.

“Are too.” Jax gloats, I smack him in the chest.

“Maybe you shouldn’t let sluts sit on you.” I sneer, making my way back into the party.

“Ari! Shots?” Juice asks, holding the bottle up. I smile, making my way to him.

“Pour me one, Juicey.” We take the whiskey shot quickly, chasing it with our beers, before pouring another and doing the same, Jax joining us.

“Want one man?” Juice asks, refilling our shot glasses.

“Nah, Jax is a little bitch.” I reply, taking the shot, before looking over at Jax.

“Pour me one.” Jax retorts, scowl on his face as he takes the shot. Juice pours us all another, we clink glasses before downing it.

“Oh my god. Body shots!” Tig yells, running up to us.

“Yes! Tig goes first! I volunteer as tribute!” I yell back, grabbing his hand and walking away.

“Ari, what the hell are you doing?” “Lighten up Jackie boy.” Chibs smirks, smacking Jax on the back following Tig, Juice, and I to the pool table.

“I’m having fun, Jax. Just like you wanted me too.” I laugh, pulling my shirt up over my head leaving me in a red lace push up bra.

“No, Ari, put your shirt back on.” Jax says, moving to stand in front of me covering me from the eyes.

“Jax, chill, you aren’t my father. Now, come do a body shot.” I laugh, pulling him with me.

“I may not be your father, but I am your old man. You have to listen to me.”

“We aren’t seriously going to start fighting are we?”

“No, we are going to bed..” Jax says, pulling me away from the pool table.

“No we aren’t. You can, I’m staying and doing body shots.” I reply, jerking out of his grasp.

“No you’re not Ariana!”

“Am too.”

“Please.” Jax begs.

“Nope, I’m doing them. You can either join or go away.”

“Then I am the only one who can do them off you.” Jax says, trying to reason with me

“Jax, chill, it’s all in good fun. I am going home with you, no one else, now will you please come have fun with us?” I ask, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“No, I am not going to let another man put his mouth on you.”

“OH MY GOD!! You are insufferable. I am going to do it whether you like it or not.” I pull away.

“Ari, please. I just want to go to bed with the woman I love so we can get home in time for Sophia’s birthday tomorrow.”

“Stop! Don’t bring up Sophia, we will be there regardless of whether or not I do body shots. Chill out.”

“You’re going to show up to our daughters birthday party covered in salt and smelling of alcohol?”

“That’s what a shower is for. If you play your cards right and quit being a little bitch, you can join me.”

“I am going to join you anyway, and we are going now.” He says, pulling me back toward his dorm again.

“No. We aren’t.” I pull my arm out of his grasp again.

“Ariana Elizabeth Wilson, please listen to me.”

“You are so annoying sometimes Jax. I’m just having fun. I’m not drinking anymore, they can do body shots off of me if I want them to.”

“We are going back to the dorm and I’m going to punish you for fighting with me in front of the club. No other man’s mouth is going to be on you.” Jax sneers, leaning in close.

“Then fucking do it, Jackson. Show me who’s boss.” He glares, picking me up throwing me over his shoulder, smacking my ass.

“Bye guys!” I shout, waving at them from my position.

“Bye!  Have fun!”

“Jax, put me down.” I say, smacking him on the ass.

“Shut up.” Jax huffs, smacking my ass again, harder this time.

“Make me.” I say. Jax growls, pushing open the door to his dorm, making his way over to the bed, and not so gently tossing me on it.

“I’m getting real fucking sick of your shit, Ariana.” He gruffs, pulling off his shirt and pushing his pants and boxers off, leaving me the only one with clothes on.

“Then put me in my place, Jax. Show me where I belong, because calling me your wife but not treating me like it is really annoying.” I huff, attitude lacing my voice.

“Drop the fucking attitude with me right fucking now.” Jax growls.

“I don’t feel like it.” I say, looking directly in his eyes. He jerks me up, throwing me over his knee.

“Then I’ll fucking spank you like the child you are acting like.” Jax replies, smacking my ass, not hard, just enough to get my attention.

“Do it, Jax. Or are you gonna make me beg for it? Like you do your atten….” I’m cut off by Jax smacking me as hard as he can on the ass, I let out a surprised squeak, tears coming to my eyes.

“I told you to watch your mouth.” Jax growls.

“No.”

“Do you want me to do it again?” Jax asks, I stay silent, slightly turned on but also slightly pissed off at him for bossing me around. “Answer me! Do you want me to do it again?” Jax growls.

“Do whatever.” I huff.

“You’re gonna wish you never said that.” Jax says. He smacks me again with all his force, doing it 4 more times before pausing. Tears are streaming down my face, my ass stinging like no other, no doubt I will have bruises tomorrow. “Should I keep going? Or have you learned your lesson?”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do just because you feel like.” I gasp, the tears falling faster down my cheeks.

“That’s exactly what the fuck I get to do. You’re my old lady, and I’m in charge.”

“Well, I didn’t sign up to bossed around for the rest of my fucking life.” I hiccup, the tears no where near slowing.

“If you would reason with me, I wouldn’t have to  boss you around.”

“I shouldn’t have to fucking reason with you. I’m a fucking adult, I can do what I want when I want to.”

“You’re an adult? Because you’re acting like a fucking child!”

“You know what, fuck you Jax. You are always calling me a fucking child. I’m sick of it.” I yell, pushing myself off of his lap, standing up and moving away from him.

“You’re gonna fuck me, and you’re gonna like it.” He says, coming toward me

“No, I’m not.” I retort.

“Yes, you are. Now get your ass in the shower. You smell like alcohol.”

“Fuck off.” I huff, crossing my arms over my exposed chest.

“Do I need to spank you again? Because I will.” Jax says, smirking at me.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“I’m gonna touch you.” He says, reaching out to poke my forearm.

“Stop!” I smack his hand away from me, going to move around him to find my shirt.

“Come on, babe. What you did to Ima made me want you so bad. Can’t you see that?” He asks, referencing his hard on slapping his stomach.

“I don’t really care, Jax.”

“Ari.”

“Jax.”

“Don’t be this way.”

“What way? Pissed because you felt the fucking need to punish me like a fucking child?”

“I thought it was hot? Some people are into that, babe.”

“Yeah well not me.”

“Let me make it up to ya then, darlin’.”

“No.”

“I promise, I’ll be gentle.”

“Jax, you don’t know what the word ‘gentle’ means unless you’re around the kids.”

“Babe, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted like an asshole out there and I should have spanked you.”

“Can I do one body shot, Jax? I’ll you be the only one.”

“Off of me, yeah.” Jax smirks.

“That’s not what I meant. You just want me to have to lick your abs, you weird ass bastard.”

“I’m weird because I want you, my old lady,  to lick me, but you aren’t weird for wanting random ass bikers to lick you. Makes sense.”

“They aren’t random. I just want to have fun.”

“We can have fun, baby.”

“Jax the most fun we have had recently was me having to brush glitter out of your hair for an hour.”

“Glitter fucking sticks to everything!”

“Yes. It does. Now you know why we don’t play with it in the house. I found some in our bed this morning. It was on my toothbrush, everywhere.”

“Whoops.”

“I want to go out there and drink some more and have some fun. Now get dressed and come with me.”

“Baby, I want you to have fun, but this is our first, and probably only night without the kids this month. Can’t we do something adults like to do for fun? Like, I don’t know, have sex without having to worry about a child crawling into our bed at one in the morning, or having to stay quiet as to not wake Gemma or Clay.”

“Jax….. Fine, but you are washing my hair.”

“Great! I’ll see if I have some leftover glitter in mine! We can share!”

“If you fucking get glitter anywhere on me we are going to have an issue.”

“Come on, babe, you know you’d still love me.”

“No, I’m still mad at you for acting like an asshole. Plus the stinging in my ass is taking away any room I have for loving you.”

“Let me make it up to you, in the shower, then the bed, and also maybe in the morning before we leave for the party.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” I reply, crossing my arms across my chest, scowling at him. “Wait! I want some more whiskey.”

“No! No more anything if it’s not me.” Jax says, scooping me up into his arms, and carrying me to the bathroom.

“Jax!” I squeal.

“Now, let me apologize for hurting you.” Jax replies, setting me in the shower reaching for the knob to turn the water on.

“Jax, don’t put me in the water, my clothes will get wet.”

“Too late! Too bad this isn’t a white t shirt contest, you could’ve won!”

“Jax! IT’S FUCKING COLD!” I gasp, rushing to move away from the spray.

“Let me make it hotter then.” He replies, stepping in with me.

“Jax, help me with my jeans since you couldn’t let me get undressed before you soaked me.”

“My pleasure.” Jax smirks, squatting down and unbuttoning my jeans, while I stare down at him.

“Like what you see, babe?” I ask him.

“Nah, you’d look better naked.”

“Well, then, I suggest you hurry up.” I wink, running my hands through his wet hair, the water cascading over us.

“I can do that.” Jax says, slowing down because he knew it would frustrate me.

“Jax, you’re not funny. Wet jeans are uncomfortable. Don’t make me take them off myself or you’re getting out.”

“Sophia thinks I’m funny.”

“Don’t mention Sophia right now. It’s a real mood killer.” I remark, crossing my arms over my chest, blocking his view.

“Sorry, babe.”

“You should be.”

“Patience, babe.”

“Don’t you tell me to be patient, you couldn’t even let me have fun before you were dragging me in here like some caveman.”

“Calm down, babe. Or I’m going to be really rough with you.”

“I’m aloud to be mad at you for acting like an ass. I don’t want rough sex.”

“Then stop acting like a bitch.”

“Well if you want someone that will let you do whatever the fuck you want and not call you on it, you’re with the wrong girl. Maybe you should go find that bitch, Ima was it?”

“I love that you call me on my shit, babe. It keeps me in check. You’re only acting this way because you are jealous.” He says, standing up and kissing me.

“Fuck off, i’m not jealous.” I huff, pulling away from his kiss.

“Oh, you’re about to be fucked, babe. You can scream as loud as you want. I don’t want some porn star, plus I’ve already had her.”

“Really? Now I have a porn star to live up to? Great, just fucking great!”

“She will never even be on the same level as you, babe.”

“Whatever.”

“Shut up, come here, and kiss me.” Jax orders.

“I don’t know if I should now.”

“Fine.” Jax retorts, pulling me into him, kissing me before I get the chance to protest. I melt into him, letting go of our spat.

“I hate when you do that to me, Jax. It makes me feel like you’re always getting things your way.”

“Baby.” “No, you want this?”

“Obviously.” He replies, motioning to his cock.

“Tell me why? Tell me I am better than some porn star. Tell me you love me, Jax.”

“Baby, there is no question about who I’d rather fuck. It’s you everytime, always. I love you.”

“Then, I’m in charge tonight, that means you don’t get to just kiss me to shut me up. You have to ask before you even touch me. Are we clear?”

“I’m good with that. Just tell me what to do.”

“Take off my jeans.” I order, uncrossing my arms.

“No problem.” He smirks, pulling my jeans the rest of the way down my legs, helping me get them from around my ankles.

“I didn’t say you could speak.”

“Sorry, baby.”

“Nuh-uh, you call me Miss Wilson.”

“One day, soon, it’ll be Misses Teller. Or you could hyphenate, like Sophia.”

“I don’t want to hyphenate, I want to be Mrs. Jax Teller.”

“Can Phia drop the Wilson? Just be a teller?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“I love you.” Jax smiles, leaning in to kiss me.

“I thought I told you, you couldn’t kiss me unless I say you can.”

“My bad, Miss Wilson.”

“Take off my bra, Jackson.” I command, he smirks reaching around me to unclasp the bra before pulling it off. “Panties too.”

“Anything else, Miss Wilson?” Jax asks from his place on the floor staring up at me, his roaming eyes making me feel self-conscious.

“Make me cum with your mouth, Jackson.” I command, snapping out of my self-consciousness, clearly Jax wants me or we wouldn’t be in this situation.

“My pleasure, Miss Wilson.” Jax smiles, grabbing my hips pulling my body closer to him, nuzzling his nose in my pubic bone, before kissing my hip bones.

“Jackson, I didn’t say tease me.” I say, Jax wastes no time standing up and putting me on the desk before shoving his face in my folds his tongue lapping at my clit.

“Jaaaaaax!” I moan out, my hands taking fistfuls of his hair, he leans back, throwing my leg over his shoulder, my other foot barely touching the ground, my still sore ass resting against the desk.

“You better hold on tight, baby.” Jax smirks up at me before continuing.

“Nuh-uh. I’m in charge remember.” I brokenly moan.

“We will see how long it takes. You’ll be begging me to fuck you.” He goes back to my clit.

“Stop.” I command, pushing his face away from me.

“What?” Jax asks, confused.

“I’m in charge, when I want you to stop, you stop and when I want you to talk I’ll tell you. Now, go lay on the bed.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jax smirks, making his way over to the bed.

“Hands behind your head, no touching.”

“Sure thing, Miss Wilson.” I smirk, making my way over to him. I climb over him, moving so my hips are over his face.

“No touching, you touch before I tell you you can, and this is finished. Am I understood?”

“Yes Miss Wilson.”

“Good, now eat me out.” I say, pushing my hips closer to his face. He wastes no time latching onto my clit, alternating between sucks and bites. I moan out, grinding my hips down a bit harder, careful not to hurt him. His beard rubs in all the right spots as I ride his face, pushing me closer to my impending orgasm.

“Use your fingers too.” I moan, he pushes two fingers into me, latching back onto my clit, he groans against me causing the vibrations to travel through my whole body.

“JAAAXXX!” I moan, pulling his hair and pushing my hips down harder. “I’m so close.” He sucks harder, biting down a bit, before curling his fingers and hitting a spot I didn’t even know existed. I gasp, grinding my hips down on his face as my orgasm washes over me. He helps me ride it out, continuing to lick at my folds.

“Stop.” I command, pulling my hips away from him.He raises his hand like a school boy. “Yes, Jax?”

“Was that a real Orgasm, or did you fake it?”

“Oh, baby, it was a real one. Remember, I promised I wouldn’t fake it with you.” I pant, moving down his chest, pulling him into a searing kiss, I can taste myself on his lips. “Now, you can fuck me, but we are tying your hands to the headboard. We both know you won’t be able to refrain from touching me.”

“You kinky bitch.”

“Only for you, baby.”

“Handcuffs are in the drawer.”

“Now who’s the kinky bitch?” I laugh, making my way, on shaky legs, over to the dresser.

“Only for you, baby.” He says, smirking up at me.

“Touche.” I laugh, grabbing the handcuffs, and moving back over to him getting on top of him, making sure to brush my soaking folds against his hard cock. He groans.

“Better make ‘em tight, babe. I’d hate for them to ‘come off’.”

“Shut up. Put your hands above your head.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Jax smirks, raising his arms, making sure to brush them along my sides as he does.

“I didn’t say you could touch me.” I say, locking the handcuffs tightly around his wrists.

“Just making sure you were okay. You seemed pretty shaky.”

“Oh, baby, you need to learn to shut up.”  I reply, moving off of him and leaving him on the bed.

“Where are you going?” Jax asks, raising his head to look at me.

“Well, seeing as how you can’t listen, I’m going over here to take care of myself while you sit there and watch, not being able to touch me or yourself.” I smirk, running a hand from my neck to my breast, tweaking my nipple and letting out a small moan.

“But, baby, I need you.” Jax whines, pulling on the cuffs.

“Then shut up.”

“Fine, I’ll shut up just please come back.”

“Nah, I think I’ll take care of myself first.”

“Ariana, please, don’t do this to me.”

“Watch.” I command, situating myself on the desk and running a hand down my stomach.

“Miss Wilson. Please?”

“You will get fucked when I say. Now enjoy the show since you were a bad boy.”

“When I get out of these, I’m gonna fuck you so hard you can’t walk straight for a week.”

“Jackson, you aren’t going to get fucked at all if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

“Sorry, Miss Wilson.” I rub against my folds, making sure to moan louder for Jax’s benefit. I dip a finger inside myself, using my other hand to rub my clit. I throw my head back, letting Jax’s name fall off my lips.

“Mmmm it feels so good, Jackson.” I moan, rubbing harder.

“Can I feel it?”

“Hush.” I moan, hearing him pull on the cuffs, I let out a laugh.

“I need you, Miss Wilson.”

“And addicts need a fix, but they sometimes have to wait. Now, talk again and I won’t let you fuck me. I’m serious this time Jax.

“Jax, I need you to…..” Juice says, walking into the room, stopping in his tracks..

“What did you need, Juice?” I ask, hands still on my cunt.

“Gemma called, said Sophia wanted to say goodnight, she loves, and she will see you us the morning at her party.”

“Thanks, Juice. Now, get the fuck out. I’m busy with my Old Man.” I order.

“Yeah, yeah, right. Bye. Have fun!” He laughs before turning on his heel and walking out the door yelling to the guys that Jax is tied up.

“Well that was a mood killer.” Jax laughs. “You know they aren’t going to let me live this down, being tied up while you are finger fucking yourself across the room. They are going to say I’m pussywhipped.”

“Nah. I don’t care if you live it down or not. You’re trying something new, experimenting if you will, now do you want me to stop?”

“No fucking way! This is hot as fuck.”

“Good, shut the fuck up.” I add another finger to my throbbing cunt, curling them, trying to reach the spot that Jax does. I get a bit annoyed when I can’t hit it.

“Need some help over there?” Jax ask, smirking at me.

“Did I tell you that you could speak?” I ask, moving my finger a bit faster, focusing on my clit.

“Nah, but you sound frustrated.”

“You aren’t winning this time, Jax. The more you talk the less you are going to get.”

“I already won, babe.”

“Well, then I guess we can quit huh?”

“Nope, you haven’t cum but once tonight. We both know your limit is 5.”

“Well, I guess you have some work to do then.” I moan, pulling my fingers out of my soaked cunt, making my way back over to him. I throw my legs over his hips before sinking down on him.

“Fuuuck.” He moans out, thrusting up into me causing me to moan. I speed up my pace, grinding and twisting my hips.

“Mmmm feels so good, baby.” I moan, reaching down to rub my clit. Jax thrusts up into me hard his hips stilling.

“I’m cumming.” Jax moans out, his face contorting with pleasure, thrusting one final time before he flops back.

“Are you kidding me right now!!!!!” I growl.

“I’m so sorry! Watching you just got to me. You being demanding is hot as fuck.” Jax moans, his hips shaking a bit, causing me to moan out.

“You’re gonna make up for leaving me without cumming Jax.” I said, moving up his body. “Eat. My. Pussy.”

“Untie me.”

“But, I’m in charge.” I whine.

“Untie me, and I’ll give you the best orgasm of your life.”

“Fine.” I huff, getting off of him and going to find the key.

“Thank you, I love you.”

“Where’s the key?” I ask, searching the drawer.

“It should be in there.”

“Well it’s not.” I reply.

“Fuck, use a hair pin, it’s not a sensitive lock. I can tell you what to do.”

“Jax, I don’t know how the fuck to pick a lock.”

“FUCK!”

“I’ll just go get one of the guys.”

“NO!! I’ll tell you how to pick the lock.”

“Jax.”

“No, you aren’t fucking going in there and getting the guys.”

“Okay.” I sigh, pulling a hair pin out of my hair. “What do I need to do?”

“Okay, you have to straighten the hair pin as much as possible, then stick the flat end, not the bumpy end about 1 third of an inch into the keyhole, apply pressure, and bend it into a hook. That disengages the lock.”

“Jax I didn’t understand shit you just said.”

“Just keep the flat end up and bend it.”

“I don’t know what that fucking means! I can’t Jax. I don’t know what to do.”

“Ariana! KEEP FUCKING TRYING.”

“Jax. Don’t fucking yell at me. I can’t. I have been trying for ten minutes, I don’t think I’m gonna get it.”

“FUCK!” Jax yells, pulling on the cuff.

“I’ll get Tig.” I whisper.

“Can you at least cover me?” Jax sighs.

“Of course. I’m sorry baby.”  I murmur, pulling on Jax’s shirt and my panties and throwing the cover over him, leaving the room before he can respond.

“It’s not your fault, darlin’.” He murmurs as I leave the room.

“TIG!” I yell, getting his attention.

“Yeah, Doll, get tired of good old Jackie boy and decide you need to tie me up too?”

“I need you to come pick the lock. We don’t know where the key is, and I don’t really know how to pick a lock.”

“YOU TIED HIM UP AND CAN’T GET HIM OUT!” Tig yells, throwing his head back and full body laughing.

“SHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Must you tell everyone?”

“Yeah! HEY GUYS LISTEN UP!  ARIANA HERE LOCKED JAX UP WHILE SHE WAS DOMINATING HIM, AND THEY DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING KEY, SO JAX IS LOCKED UP NAKED IN THE BEDROOM!”

“Can you come pick the lock now?” I ask blushing.

“Juicey, think i’m gonna need your assistance picking a lock, Bobby, Chibs might need your help too.”

“You got it, boss.” They all say in unison.

“FUCK OFF TIG!” I yell.

“You’d be lost without me.”

“If I say I would, would you come pick the damn lock?” I ask annoyed.

“Baby doll, you came to the wrong man, I can’t pick a lock for shit.” Tig laughs.

“Who can?”

“Juicey boy can.

“Juice, please?”

“Is he covered up? Don’t wanna see his massive shlong again.”

“Yes Juice. He’s covered.”

“Jax has a massive shlong?” Tig asks.

“Yeah man, massive, like OH MY GOD big!”

“It is pretty big, Tig.” I say, looking up at him. “And he knows how to use it, that is, when he doesn’t prematurely ejaculate.”

“He didn’t?”

“He did, Tiggy, right after I started riding him, apparently he gets too excited when I let him watch me touch myself. Now Juice, please come pick this lock, we all have a child’s birthday party to attend tomorrow.”

“Coming.”

“Babe, who’d you get to unlock me?” Jax asks, as I come back in.

“Juice. Tig couldn’t do it.”

“Sorry man. I didn’t mean to see your cock earlier.” Juice mumbles, eying the blanket over Jax’s dick.

“Just get it open, Juice. Maybe knock next time.”

“Maybe lock your door next time.” Juice snaps back at Jax.

“GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!” Jax snaps.

“Maybe you shouldn’t prematurely ejaculate.  Maybe Ariana here is faking not having the key to get back at you for leaving her wanting more.” Juice grins.

“You told them?” Jax asks me, wide eyed. “Juice if you don’t get me outta here, you’re gonna be on prospect duty until you retire from the MC.”

“I didn’t mean to tell them, Tig was talking about your dick and I let it slip when I was telling him you have a massive cock and know how to use it except when you prematurely ejaculate.”

“As much as I would love to take that compliment, I can’t until I get outta here. Juice, now!”

“She fucked it up when we was picking at it. I think we are gonna have to get the bolt cutters.” Juice replies, moving closer to Jax’s head, his cock in Jax’s face.

“Just pick the other one, and we can go in the garage and do it. I can put some pants on. I just need one free hand, Juice. And for fucks sake get your cock outta my face.” Jax scoffs, turning his head.

“Man, they are both jammed.” Juice replies, scooching back a bit.

“Juicey.” I say to him. “Please do something.”

“I’m trying, Ari. There isn’t much I can do when one is jammed and the other is blocked. I have to get the bolt cutters.”

“FUCK!” Jax yells. “WE ARE NEVER FUCKING DOING THIS AGAIN!”

“Jaxy, I’m sorry.” I say to him while pouting, just like Sophia does when Jax uses his dad voice when she does something wrong.

“I’m sorry, it’s not your fault.”

“Are you mad, Jaxy? I didn’t think about the key.”

“Hey guys, I got the cutters. Chibs is going to help me.” Juice says, coming back into the room.

“Great. Get me the fuck outta here, and don’t put your cock in my face again or I swear to god I will demote you.”

“Alright.” They get to work cutting the handcuffs off. Jax rubs his wrists when they finally get it. Chibs and Juice climb off the bed, chibs bending to pick something up.

“Thanks, guy.” Jax says when they get off the bed.

“Look what I found.” Chib smirks, holding up the tiny key, and busting out laughing.

“THEY WERE ON THE FUCKING FLOOR! DID YOU DO THIS ON PURPOSE?” Jax yells.

“No, Jax! I had no idea. If I had known, I would’ve used them! Don’t start yelling at me.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” Jax sighs.

“I’m tired, and I want to go to bed.”

“Leaving.” Juice and Chibs respond.

“C’mere, darlin’.” Jax says, holding his arms open for me to snuggle into.

“I’m so sorry! I seriously didn’t know the keys were down there. We must have dropped them when I got the handcuffs.”

“It’s okay. Accidents happen all the time. Plus its a fucking hilarious one. My hot as fuck Old Lady tied me up, and made me watch her pleasure herself, and then I came so quickly I couldn’t even fuck her properly.” Jax laughs.

“A story that everyone is gonna hear. Until you make them clean up after Piney goes to the bathroom. Maybe one day we can tell our kids that story.”

“Nah, they don’t need to know about daddy’s giant shlong.” Jax busts out laughing.

“I meant the losing the key and having a cock in your face part. You were gay, for like 10 seconds.”

“Hey, I’m okay with it, because I had your cunt in my face too.” Jax smirks.

“Goodnight Jax.”

“Night, darlin’. I’m sorry I came so quick. I’ll make it up to you.” He mumbles in my hair, pulling me closer and kissing my head before drifting off to sleep, the throb between my legs finally subsiding.

TAGLIST: @gemini0410 @lookprettyliveclassyplaydirtyyt @spnhollis @jaxteller87 @melissataggart87 @hismissharley13 @stylesismyhubs @rahdaleigh @chrmdnbeautiful @innerpaperexpertcloud @emmaveale123

[bookdragonlibrary]

Fourth Friday YJ appreciation

1-3 ; 4-6 ; 7-9 ; 10-13 ; 14-16 ; 17 ; 18 ; 19 ; 20 ; 21 ; 22 ; 23 ; 24-26

—————————— Exceptional Human Beings

- Is this... Batman works with Oracle. It’s the same tech than Nightwing! 

- Yes! These is Katana and Metamorpho! I already love Metamorpho facial expressions! The scene from the trailer! Santa Prisca, Bane’s island! They’re so efficient! (Yeah, I have in mind the first time of the Team on the Island...) 

- Is it thanks to Jade’s intel? So they will save Tara? :D

- Victor Stone? So this is Dr Silas Stone! I saw the movie, I know Dr Stone wont have time to go... Oh! The Reach tech is back!

- And it’s Steel or John Irons. (Why every person choosing a English name comes with John?)

- Did... did Metamorpho just turn himself into a fart? Seriously? Katana in the background and the indignated face of Metamorpho xD

- Sex implied, definitely mature content... Is it really the time to talk about Dick? You know what I mean... Wait, was that a joke? Like a subtext joke? 

- Training Time! Forager’s sounds are so funny! 

- Violet fell because she was blushing and Brion uses his powers because he was blushing. They’re cute! :3 

- Nightwing definitely knows Batman is on Santa Prisca already and knows Brion will likely get himself killed with his actual combat skills...

- Deathstroke in the place. Oh she’s Cassandra, Savage’s daughter (yeah a lot of Cassandra this season!) 

- She knows Tara! Now she’s is used by Granny Goodness... And Cassandra seems to... like her? She is a different character than Scandal (who is lesbian) right? Because I don’t want our first rep to be a pedophilic rapist, thank you very much... We already had Slade for that in Judas Contract... 

- “I have observed that.” Definitely thinking about her sister Olympia :(

-  Victor’s team! “I would ask Wonder Woman out!” “Me Black Canary” *Vctor rolls his eyes* Are we wasting screentime for straight idiots? (and I mean it in both ways) Just a question: do you think Victor could be gay with his reactions to the “straights comments”?

- “Cisco, a superhero?!” Well, Francisco Ramon will be a superhero one day (but I don’t know his powers yet.) Don’t worry my dear, a lot of people love Zatanna! He’s a Spanish speaker, from where? 

- Victor don’t appreciate the bullying but not interfere :( But he’s so above their shit! 

- Boo-yah is back! I can’t believe they also gave this easter egg! 

- Batman or how burn someone with only words! xD

- “I always hated that name too!” Why don’t you change for you mother name, Arty? :( 

- Violet Harper, I love how the writers connect the dots between the comics and what happens on the show! 

- JADE! I love how she’s smiling, like she considerates it. We know she would love that. Why could hold her back? How could she think they don’t need her? Because of her father? Football... er I mean soccer is just a lame excuse! She’s crying! She definitely loves them! :’(

- Katana VS Lady Shiva! OMG Katana also uses a wakizashi (a short saber) with her katana like a samouraï :o 

- “Bulletproof. That’s annoying” We already know that line but still funny xD So Metamorpho isn’t fireproof? That’s his true form! 

- Oracle time! 

- “No, no my guns!” Seriously Bane? Metamorpho just blows them a kiss xD

- Booyah! Someone is still using the goggles... Poor Vic :( “I see great things in your future” while showing a FatherBox. I don’t like it... I know the story but still don’t like it...

- Brucely! (Or Bruce Lee?) Such a good boy!

By the way, Katana never talks. She took a vow of silence after her sensei dies.

—————————— Another Freak 

- First, I don’t like the title. I dislike even more the wiring from the Reach tech... 

- There’s a bad father/son relationship (I mean with fights) each season, isn’t there? “Scene/seen. Now you’re boying me?” I love the dialogue! I know I could hate the wiring... The “dad” at the end broke my heart :’(

- “But Brion Markov’s attitude will soon change! :D” Forager knows what’s going on between those two. Forager is a Haloforce shipper! Human Forager is so cute!! “Be careful on the boys! They only have one thing on their mind!” “What one thing?” *embarassed Brion* “If we arrive with the councelor and the principal, all the other kids will love us!” My poor summer child... “No flying at school!” xD

- After gory Halo, here’s gory Victor :( And here comes the Fatherbox so bad news?

- “I’m so happy to be here it makes me sick” Violet is still dealing with human emotions. Stay whelmed! Or could it be the Fatherbox? 

- Is that Terra with blue hair?? And... freckles? (she has the same character design that in the animated movie) Oh she’s Harper Row. My bad. The whole conversation was hilarious and cute!

- Victor’s still alive!

- Of course, access denied. Nightwing knows he would do it. He did it as Robin first! And of course Nightwing appears! And now they’re fighting...but with it Brion could speak his heart out.

- “How they could know us if they don’t interact with us?” I know Forager. Most human are most judgmental at first sight... 

- “Are Violet and Fred freaks?” Oh no sweetie don’t think that :( “But Fred must look like a freak...” He refers to his human form. It’s logical. Would you feel like yourself in an alien form? “Freak is cool.” Exactly! “Two hands only” xD

- Victor is freaking out. Naturally. So... he goes... violet when the fatherbox takes control? Like he calls to be heal.  So the violet color has a reverse meaning for a fatherbow than for a motherbox, logical as they are the two faces of the same coin.

- Harper is so sweet! 

- Whoa new aura: indigo (between blue and violet). So we still don’t know what blue aura does (and black aura, but I’m not sure it exists). What does it do? She opened a Boom tube? 

- “I’m not an abomination. I’m a freak.” That’s the spirit. That’s my girl! 

- Pleasedon’tmurderhalo! pleasedon’tmurderhalo! Yes! She’s okay! 

- She’s healing him! Poor Vic, he’s so confused. “My work here is done.” Violet is so cute! 

- Silas trying to find a common thing with Vic is sweet but yeah.. Vic would feel like a rat lab, ask Ed. “Can I go with you?” His voice was so heartbreaking :( Victor prefers to leave to not hurt his father again :( Yeah he’s angry, it’s understanding. At least, he’s alive right? 

- Kind of ironic they boomed tube in a football field...

- Brion is finally moving forward! :D 

- Lobo’s finger begins to morph. Slobo on the way!

—————————— Nightmare Monkeys

- Tork from Mars, seriously? xD M’Comm should be so pissed... 

Was that the Wilhelm scream? 

- “I have practice” My heart :( 

- it’s Paul who played Conner in Hello Megan! What time had done to you? Gar’s look when they talked about Marie :( Paul is his godfather! And Rita his godmother. Steven is his stepfather? That means he was with Rita, right? He’s Mento? “Thanks God.” I think they both don’t like the situation but still try to play their part... 

- I don’t know if this seashell alien is real or just a costume...

- We were right! Halo IS a Motherbox! What happen to the script? Now we can predict things :( She’s... the reincarnation of the dead Motherbox Doctor X and Psimon studied. So Queen Bee works with Vertigo, since Psimon works for Quee Bee. So Gabrielle Daou consciousness died, murdered by Bedlam’s minions and the Motherbox soul regenerates/resurected in her body because she needed a vessel. But Violet still has some of Gabrielle’s memories via the brain, but maybe not her thoughts or emotions?

- I love the Emerald Crown teasing! Was Gar talking about his mother(s) when he said queen? That needle doesn’t seem good...

- “And now he tells you to be patient...” xD 

Sphere, stay whelmed! And... the Fatherbow is awake again... And... Conner is shirtless again... Halo has clearly no idea what she’s doing. So cute she calms Sphere down :)

- So that doesn”t sound good... Encino, what/where that could be? 

- “He’s dead, Tom.” What that the voice of... WALLY??? And all the dead heroes in the grotto... I mean Watchtower garden.

- Great! Supermartian know how to communicate now :) “Alone time” Weren’t you have a “intimate” time in a bathroom two episodes ago? “Date night/Secret base” Yeah Wolf me too. They got the communication, not the understanding...

- “The Reach... I mean the Klamulons” seriously? 

- Tula, Ted Kord, Jason, was that the chronological order? I thought Ted was the last one. That’s why in season Tim went to Jason’s hologramme. Ted Kord died during the Summer break and they were in February. So Tim was a really young Robin! 

- Wally speaks to casually about their death. “Who’s next? Guess it’s me.” Does that mean he’s not dead yet? But could soon be? Wally’s death scene reminds me how good the previous style was... RIP too! “Cancel the show already?” I heard the 4th wall break down.

- DOOM PATROL GO! WHAT’S THE HECK?The 4th wall is collapsing in a firy explosion. 

- Garfield also collapsed. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! 

Rita Aka Elasticgirl with Starfire’s voice. Chief with Robin’s voice. Robotman with Cyborg’s voice (more like Cyborg’s father xD), Negative Woman with Raven’s voice. 

- Steve Dayton is indeed Rita’s husband; So Rita adopted Garfield when Marie died? She did! 

- “Sorry your mom(s?) died!” The song. “Just say goodbye to your second mom!” Rita and Marie were together? Was Rita bi/pan? “Let’s die!” 

- Of course M’gann save the day, back with her season 1 appearance. The whole Mento’s speech is how Gar sees the situation right? Not the truth right? “I was 14.” Wait, all of this (except Marie’s death) only happen last year? 

- M’gann is there to save her brother!

“Sure you’re even born yet?” This joke could also work with Bart. Man, if Bart was in that episode... 

- “Queen Bee wants her honey back!” That was a lesbian joke right? The first rep of this season would be Queen Bee? Being Bi? (Why in English bi is pronounced like by and not bee? Do you see the missed joke here?) 

- “Let’s watch the episode you were in.” Season 2. The pieces of the 4th wall break again. 

- “Shut it down.” “I can’t hear a heartbeat.” He meant the channel, not the heart, Wally. Wait, was it a death wish because Gar can’t handle with all the mourning happening in a few minutes? 

- Reminder: Beast Boy’s metagene was activated by Martian transfusion and a bite from a green monkey. 

- Mass conservation? Is it a clue for Wally’s return? Like his mass was conserved somewhere when he was desintegrated? A place where he can save Garfield from the Goggles? How can Gar remember Wally’s death if he wasn’t even there?! But he appears as the green monkey to show a parallel? Between the monkey and blood transfusion saving him and Wally saving him now? 

- Come back as a hero my boy! 

- “Are you real or is this all in my head?” Ask Dumbledore, kid.

- M’gann is in the place! White but with a green aura. 

- Yes, I think it was a distraction to cope with all the trauma. 

- “Ready to get back to reality. Ready to get back to the life.” hero life? It was both litteral and metaphorical. 

- Perdita who don’t understand the Team’s slang :) Gar, did you teach anything to her? 

- Garfield finally understand that Gretchen is a bad guy. But it feels off as we already know it. The Evolution episode should have happen after this I think? 

- Emerald Crown is so cute! Their kiss was ok, but why M’gann are you doing the same in front of your brother?

- Haloforce kiss! After we finally understand who Violet is! But I would like to see the moment which brings to the kiss :(

- Sphere!

- Of course Wally won’t come back until part b or even the end of the season, will he?

—————————— True Heroes

- It’s Halloween! Halo and Forager are adorable as usual. 

- Poor Vic :( Halloween cancel and Violet can’t come :( Forager drives bioship xD (Such a weird sentence...) 

- Tara is 15, same age than Bart and Gar.

- Dr Jace had a little girl. who was taken from her. Was she meta? It’s thay why she started to work with Bedlam? To have intel to find her? Or did Bedlam blackmail her to make her work for him? That’s why she’s is so overprotecting with the kids? 

- “You’re be my little girl for tonight.” That sounds creepy, right? 

- “I know I said pretend I’m not here but I’m.” Yeah, Dr Jace, maybe not the best way to explain where the teenager hormones lead to... 

- “Vulnerable” weaks the Fatherbox up. Great. And it’s because she is vulnerable, Dr Jace tries to be closer?

- Cameron (Icycle Jr) and the Terror Twins grew up so much... And not in a good way. I miss the Twins’ design in season 1. They get uglier each season, bad guy cliche. But Tommy could be the Bad Blue Beetle from Bart’s future, they have quite the same morphology and Queen Bee sold Chimmer to the Reach, why not him too? 

- Holocaust?

- Wolf attacking the Fatherrbox. 

Dr Jace just took a violet ray and if they’re like Halo’s yellow one she should be badly injured... Not just inconscious. 

- Emotions turn off Halo’s powers? They just activated them! 

- Earth VS FIre. Terra lost :( 

- Stay Whelmed, Brion! 

- Psimon out! Wait, did just Devastation called him baby? 

- Tara is free!

- And Holocaust is with a Queen Bee’s minions. 

- Family reunion!

- YJ is now a scary movie. Maybe it’s just panic which shut down Halo’s powers? Fight Vic! “The problem is I had too much.” So it was panic. Now save him!

- Yeah, go save the other kids! 

- The conversation between Junior and SB is so chill (no pun intended) and funny. “She was my girl.” “But I was into her.” Dudes, it’s not a competition or a race, just let the girl decide maybe? 

- “Maybe that means there’s hope for me too!” Redeem arc foreshadowing? 

- “Ow.” Junior plays dead. 

- Can we appreciate SB’s combat style? 

- Princess speech! 

- The Black girl speaks French? Who they could be? Anita?

- League and Team squads were successful” I wish we could have seen them :( 

- Dr Jace activated Tara’s metagene on the blackmailing to kill her :o 

- Princess speech! :D 

- Violet cry of joy is so cute! :) 

- “M’gann’s gonna kill me.” xD 

- Wait, why is Dr Jace taking Violet’s, hair? 

- “They’re ready for the Team!” We’re gonna go our children back! But maybe give Tara some rest?

- “I’m in.” So we go for the Judas Contract storyline? Or that is a mislead?

- Wolf in the Bioship!

5 months to wait now :( 

[sigritandtheelves]

Drown

Rating: Teen/Mature Tags: Angst, Emily Arc, Per Manum

Stare into the void of season 5’s reproduction arc with me. Brought to you by cramps and seasonal depression in this miserable heatwave. This is for @kateyes224 who wanted me to share the pain. CW for all the reproductive traumas associated w/this arc (child death, miscarriage, infertility, etc.). Yikes.

_+_

There had only been the briefest of windows, and he had missed his chance, of that he was sure. At first there were waves of relief so strong he couldn’t feel the ground beneath his feet: she’ll live, she’ll live, she’ll live pulsing in his veins with each beat of his heart. It was enough; it would be enough; it should be enough, he told himself, and then he sobbed into a bloody photograph of the long-gone happiness of his childhood and realized that it wasn’t. There was always more more more he had to do, and now that she wouldn’t die, he’d have the strength to do it.

He watches her open to him. He watches her fill back up with life, with a joy he hasn’t seen since their early days, and he feels her press closer to him with that openness. Here is Life, and she is going to live it. Here is Scully’s love, and he turns away.

She brings him wine and cheese.

He runs.

She makes a sex joke and sings him to sleep, and the next day they drive home as if nothing has happened.

Later, he dreams about dancing with her at a Cher concert—in a bar, of all places. In the dream he pulls her body flush against his and he smiles at her with a depth of knowing and with the absurdity of their circumstances and most of all with love, while they hold hands to hearts in the smoky room. But when he wakes, he is sweating as if it were a nightmare. He is hard as a rock in his pajama bottoms.

She senses his rejection, after a while, and starts to pull back. Her feet touch the ground again, as his did too soon, and she remembers that although life is a gift, it is terribly, terribly hard.

They work; they smile; he flirts, but she stops flirting back. And then she goes to visit her family for Christmas and the window slams shut.

_+_

“I think I’d like to be alone,” she whispered, and he felt it happen, the snick of the door to her heart as it closed to him. She heard him step away and sighed in relief when he was gone. She would let herself have this, and nothing else. She would kiss the sweaty forehead of her dying daughter, hold the chubby hand that was the weight of everything she would never have, and send this baby, with all her others, into the darkness of unlife alone. Dana Scully felt rebuked for opening herself to even the merest possibility of motherhood, and to the possibility of love as well. She’d regained a chance at life: how dare she ask for more?

Just an hour after Emily slipped away, she got a call from her mother: Tara was in labor. Death for life, she supposed. Scully signed some papers, dialed Mulder’s number, and wandered to meet him with too-dry, salt-crusted eyes. She felt like the cold hand of the undead, brought back from the edge of the grave, but scooped empty of life, reeking of sterility and gunmetal and blood.

Mulder touched her arm, but she barely felt it.

“Will you take me back?” Her voice: flat.

“Yeah,” he said. “Scully, I—“

But he was stopped by the sharp look in her eyes: she would take no comfort now. He dropped her at her brother’s house and returned to his motel where he cried for her, the first time in this new year. Inside Bill’s living room, alone again, she stared at the Christmas tree lights until they blurred and became a white wall of fire. She wanted it to burn her, but instead she fell into cold sleep. When she woke she was an aunt, but no longer a mother.

---

He brought flowers and kind words to the funeral that Scully felt was something of a burden on her family. Perhaps they thought she was selfish for arranging it when they had so much to celebrate. Who was she, who had barely known this child and had given away her heart so quickly, to demand this ritual? They planned a christening; she planned a funeral. But Mulder, who mourned all lost little girls so fully and selflessly, understood. He may never forgive her for being so ready to leave him, but he understood her need to grieve. Scully wondered if this might be what a miscarriage felt like—to grasp so briefly, so fiercely, to a hope for the future, and then to have it ripped away. She would never have the chance to know, she thought, to confirm the comparison.

Back at her brother’s house, there were casseroles, brownies, a Jell-O mold. Scully thought, morbidly, that they should have had the christening on the same day and made it a twofer. She ate nothing, but knocked back enough of Bill’s good scotch that her stomach burned and she finally felt warm. Mulder hovered in the corner looking constipated. She sat on the couch getting drunker and accepting half-hearted declarations of sympathy until she couldn’t take it any more.

She stood too fast and the room spun, but Mulder was at her elbow in a second.

“I wanna go home, Mulder,” she said into his bicep, where her face had landed.

Into her ear, quietly, “Do you need to go up and lie down?”

She shook her head, red hair rubbing, static-clinging to the front of his suit. “No,” she said. “I want to go all the way home.”

“Can you pack your bags?”

“Already packed.”

“Okay. I’ll get them. Will you be okay here?”

She shrugged and tried to get ahold of herself. She combed fingers through her hair and watched the room dip and sway around her. Maggie’s eyes found hers across the room, and Scully looked away in half-shame.

“Dana, are you alright?” Her mother had somehow appeared at her side, looking concerned.

“I’m fine, mom. I just… I need to go.” Mulder descended the stairs with her bags and tucked them in the entryway before walking over to the two women.

“You’re not going to say goodbye to Bill and Tara?” Maggie asked.

As if remembering them suddenly, Scully looked around the room. But then the thought of their new-parent-tired faces and the soft skin of their perfect infant made her dizzy, slightly nauseated. “I can’t right now.”

She was spinning again, and Mulder reached out to hold her steady. Maggie glared at him. “You take care of her, Fox.”

He nodded. “I will.”

In the car, her head lolled and tears ran down her cheeks. He’d never seen her drunk before: not the stoic inebriation of her brother’s house, and certainly not this weepy version that spoke of her own fears and crushed his heart like glass under a boot-heel.

“It’s not me, Mulder. I’m not like them. It’s not for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t do it. I’m all wrong for it. My hands are for dead things, not for babies.”

“Scully…”

“You were right. You were right. It’s not mean to be. I can’t go to brunch and laugh at empty jokes and buy onesies and pretend I don’t know what a corpse smells like. I felt like a fucking monster in that house, Mulder. Like the goddamned angel of death,” and a sob slipped out after her last words.

His jaw clenched and unclenched as he drove. He had no idea what to say, so he let his hand rest on her black-clad knee. She was all the light he knew, but he had still tainted her with darkness like a bottle of spilled ink.

“Maybe I don’t deserve it,” she said, almost under her breath. He felt his stomach muscles clench, as if he’d been punched, and a rage flow through him at the world, at himself for the part he played, for making Dana Scully ever ever doubt herself. But he said nothing, just drove them back to the motel.

---

Scully threw up into a trashcan and then collapsed onto his motel bed. Mulder took the bin away and came back with a glass of water and a wet washcloth. He sat in the nook created by her bent knees and ran a hand over her back. She sat, dabbed her face and lips with cool terrycloth that felt rough and good. She drank all of the water, knowing how much she’d need it. After a minute, when the room had slowed its spin, she tucked herself up against the pillows again. Mulder pulled her shoes off and draped the bed’s throw blanket over her.

“Would you have quit?” he asked, not really expecting an answer, and for a moment, he thought she’d already fallen asleep.

But then she said, “If it meant I could get even one thing back that they’d taken from me? Yes. Wouldn’t you?”

He opened his mouth to agree, but then bit it back—it would have been a lie. He wasn’t sure there was much of anything that could make him quit.

“It doesn’t matter, anyway. They never would have let me have her.” Her voice was tired, too exhausted for hope and for pointless speculation. Mulder took his things to the bathroom and changed out of his suit. He eyed the empty space on the bed, but took the armchair instead to work. Her voice startled him.

“You should have told me.”

“What?”

“You knew something. You knew what they’d done and why.”

The ova. The Crawford clones with red hair. Bodies in green tanks. They’re our mothers. Shame gripped at his guts. “No, not why. Not really,” he said.

“You said you knew there were children. My children. It’s my body they violated, Mulder. My future. My life they ruined.” He couldn’t see her face, but he could hear the tears in her words. And the quiet rage. “You didn’t have the right to keep that from me.”

He had that same terrible impulse he’d had after the Jerse case, to tell her that it was his life too, but he knew he’d lost any right to that claim. So he just said, “I know,” and waited for her to fall asleep. He swallowed back his further omission: the little vial in a Fairfax cold storage facility marked Scully, Dana Katherine. When her breathing slowed, he dialed the airline and booked their flight back to Washington.

_+_

Two weeks later, after they’ve rescued a pair of teenagers from the Michigan mud, he confesses everything into the basement elevator while she stares on, incredulous. She takes a vacation, and he’s sure it’s a dry-run for leaving him. He can’t help his desperate flirting, his selfish need to throw everything he can at the possibility of making her stay. But for her, each joke is like a swallowed needle, a stab wound from the inside. Two weeks after that, she invites him to lunch where he’s sure she’ll break the terrible news of her departure, but instead she does something different, but which amounts to roughly the same thing: she asks him to father her child. Her fingers tremble over a Cesar salad and she pretends there are other options, other possible donors, so she can swallow any bites at all. If she can’t have him, perhaps she can have his child. If she can’t have his child, she’ll have no child at all.

He’s so fucking selfish that he wants to say no. He wants to hold her to him like the deflating life raft of a drowning man; the harder he squeezes the more she slips away. But he remembers the tears in his rental car, her mumbled Maybe I don’t deserve it, and he hates himself into saying yes. A baby will split them apart, he thinks, but he jerks off into a plastic cup while remembering the sound of her “Oh God”s as she watched a genocidal inferno unfold in her stolen memory—and he hates himself more.

She listens to another woman call him Fox while she waits to learn if she’s carrying his child. Then she loses her last chance in a wash of blood, and the X-files burn.

They stand in dripping ruin, in the fumes of hot metal and sodium bicarbonate where her uterine walls clench violently in disgrace, and they are both of them suddenly futureless.

-end-

All I can say is… sorry? It feels like there could be more to this, though, so maybe I’ll make it better in a follow-up. Playing with tense shifts a little bit here—hope it worked out.

[buffster]

The I in Team (BTVS 4.13)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

In Buffy, there are always background issues sprinkled throughout the season before they begin to come to a head. This episode: Xander’s failure to thrive post high-school. He’s selling “healthy” candy bars (unsuccessfully) to try and make a bit of money. He forces a reluctant Giles to purchase some. There’s also a red flag between him and Anya as we note her obsession with money and his lack of big-money-making ambitions. He wants to make her happy, but he’s a simple guy. Their goals and desires don’t really match up in a way that could leave both satisfied. 

We see Buffy throw herself into the commandos operation, leaving her friends behind and wary of what she’s getting herself into. Has anyone else noticed Buffy’s tendency to not involve people in her life? It’s like she sections people off but no one gets access to the full Buffy. As soon as she gets a boyfriend she has this whole side life with him that her friends don’t really know about, but Riley doesn’t know about Spike or her past with Angel...I mean, obviously no friend knows everything that’s going on with you and vice versa, but she keeps some pretty big secrets to herself on a regular basis. Big on the internalizing, our Buffy. 

Willow in particular has always seemed the most bothered by this aspect of Buffy’s personality, which is probably why she’s jumped at the chance to have her own private world with Tara. We see the usual lonely-Willow face as Buffy runs off, but now she can head to Tara’s instead of just feeling pathetic. 

No one can say Buffy didn’t give a good faith effort to trust the Initiative. She doesn’t seem to notice they’re subtly testing her skills and getting a good read on what she can do. Forrest is, predictably, not happy about the situation. 

Graham: He made you team leader, didn’t he?

Forrest: That’s not the point. I’ve always been Riley’s second-in-command. Instead he picks a girl.

Graham: His girl.

Forrest: Whatever. Three guesses what that boy’s thinking with.

It’s funny everyone at the Initiative is a bit obsessed with Riley. If Buffy were made today there would definitely be a Forrest-is-in-love-with-Riley subplot.

Speaking of what Riley’s thinking with, we get a montage of Buffy and Riley fighting demons and having sex for the first time. It makes me wonder how much fighting was foreplay for them, and if that was tied in to Riley’s issues when Buffy doesn’t trust him to come along anymore post super-soldier. If the sex was less exciting he probably became worried about his hold on Buffy. Anyway, Maggie is so creepy for watching them have sex. She’s totally rocking that vibe you get around certain mothers where you wonder just how obsessed with their sons they are (am I the only one who’s met one of those mothers?).

Sadly, Buffy wakes up panicked the morning after with Riley. This is the first time in her life things haven’t immediately gone to hell after sex. It was almost an entire day before it happened this time! Progress. 

Willow’s worry makes it’s way over to Buffy and she begins to question the operation a bit. The culture of the Initiative is don’t ask questions, just follow orders. They’ve got a bunch of soldiers contributing to an operation they know absolutely nothing about. It’s amazing the kind of trust they have in authority figures. But Buffy’s used to leading, not following. 

Giles: Thinking about your affliction -- as well as your newly discovered ability to fight only demons. It occurs to me - and I realize it's against your nature - but have you considered there may be a higher purpose--

Spike: Aagh. Made me lose count. What are you still doing here?

I’ve mentioned over on my Angel commentary that he’s really struggled to find reasoning for his being brought back. He thinks there’s a higher meaning for his continued existence despite all he’s faced (I mean, that’s got to be easier than thinking it’s all pointless, right? Ah, and there’s our set up for his break down...anyway...). Spike has no interest in Giles musing about his new potential now that he’s chipped. Spike just wants to smoke, shag, and maybe get into some trouble as always. 

After an unfortunate meeting with the commandos Spike turns up at Giles’ door despite just telling him he wants nothing to do with him. Xander’s military knowledge (it’s amazing how often that’s come up) helps them realize he’s got a tracker implanted in him. Giles gets some of the money back from the Fyarl fiasco in exchange for helping. Interestingly, Giles immediately calls Willow to perform a spell to buy them some time. No concern about her use of magic right now.

Spike: I'm not going anywhere. Not until those bastards undo whatever they did to me. Put me back the way I was.

Xander: Sure, just explain to the nice scientist guys that you really miss torturing and killing innocent people.

Spike: Think that'll work?

Giles: Spike, Lord knows why I'm telling you this, but it's for your own good. As long as the Initiative's in operation, it's not safe for you here.

After Maggie watched Buffy and Riley and heard her ask about 314 she makes the decision to kill Buffy. Since Maggie died prematurely we can only speculate on how much she was motivated by possession of Riley vs. pure protectiveness over her operation. I think it was obviously a little of both, but ultimately I think her feelings for Riley would have lost out to her love of the Initiative. I think a big reason she cared so much for him was his compliance anyway. Maggie expresses some regret over the loss of a powerful ally in Buffy.

After sending Riley on a mission Maggie contacts Buffy to set her up. We get a quick glimpse of Buffy and Willow’s lack of a relationship right now as neither tells the other why they were out all night. Buffy is sent to the sewers and quickly realizes she’s been set up. And then THE BEST SCENE:

Maggie: Two of our hostiles broke free and escaped into the tunnels. She went after them on her own. She's dead, Riley.

Riley: What?

Maggie: I did everything I could to stop her. Told her to wait for a back-up team. She kept insisting she didn't need any team, she could handle it herself.

Maggie: I'm so, so sorry.

Riley: I-I don't understand. How could this happen?

Maggie: I know how much you cared for her. She was a very, very special girl...I was just beginning to... I didn't understand at first. But she had something. I don't know... maybe I could've stopped her. It's hard not to blame myself--

Buffy: Hello, Professor Walsh...That simple little recon you asked me to do? Wasn't a raccoon. Turns out it was me trapped in a sewer with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons on my hands. If you think that's enough to kill me you really don't know what a slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.

First, I love that Walsh really thought her trap would work. Buffy hasn’t had access to military-grade weapons throughout her run as the slayer (okay, maybe a few times) so she’s had to rely on creativity. Second, I love Riley’s emotional reaction. A little poorly acted, but so cute. And third, badass Buffy is badass. Suck it, Walsh.

Riley walks out to the Maggie ordering him to stop--even resorting to saying Riley instead of Agent Finn. But for once he’s not following orders. Maggie seems to think he’ll come around once Buffy is killed. But Adam wakes up and kills “mommy” before she gets the chance to find out. This is when the villain arc of the season begins to suck. Adam is a huge downgrade from Maggie/the government and their infinite resources.

Character Notes:

Buffy Summers: When she was eight she took a trip to Washington D.C with her parents and got lost in the Smithsonian. Her code number is 91423.

Riley Finn: His code number is 75329.

Tara Maclay: She found a dolls-eye crystal in her attic she believes belonged to her grandmother. She gets it for Willow, but Willow doesn’t feel right taking it.

[ortizobsessed]

Defending Your Honour

This one is pretty heavy.

Reader x Juice where Juice finds out that the reader has been sexually assaulted and he goes after the guy who did it.

Warnings: Mention of sexual assault, swearing, and physical violence.

Word Count: 1992

Masterlist

47: The number of days since you and Juice had last been intimate.

You loved him. Even though you had only been together for a little over a year, you knew he was the one. He was your soul mate. You two shared your love for one another a lot more often than you had with any of your past boyfriends. Going more than a couple days without being intimate in some way as very uncommon.

44: The number of days since you had been attacked.

That day changed everything for you. You felt your soul get ripped right out of your chest, and you knew you would never be the same. Not only did you lose yourself, but you could feel yourself falling away from the man you loved.

42: The number of hours since you had last been able to sleep.

The times you finally did fall asleep, it was from utter exhaustion. Your body shut down long before your mind ever did. One of the hardest things to process was that, since that day, you hadn’t been able to physically show Juice just how much you loved and trusted him. How was it that such a cowardly act could threaten the strength that you and Juice had? Although Juice wasn’t the kind of person who would love you or leave you based on how often you “put out” for him, your anxious mind made you wonder if he might get fed up with you and leave eventually. The only thoughts that consumed your mind were those of Juice leaving you, combined with flashes of your attacker. You didn’t want that monster to win, but even the slightest touch from Juice left you shaking.

35: The number of hours since you convinced yourself to tell Juice what had happened.

The club had been on a run for the past few days, and were supposed to be coming home today. The longer you held onto this, the more you could feel it tearing you and Juice apart. As hard as it was going to be, you knew you needed to tell him. It was the only thing that could possibly salvage what was left of your relationship.

23: The number of minutes it usually took Juice to get to your apartment from the clubhouse.

You got a call from him telling you that they had all made it back to the clubhouse safe and that he was on his way home. You paced back and forth, your bare feet sore from the friction with the carpet. When you heard Juice pull up on his bike in front of your apartment your heart sank.

The few seconds it took for him to walk up to your door felt more like hours, as you stared at the handle on the door. The sound of his keys jingling sent shivers down your spine. When the door finally opened, you saw Juice standing there with a smile on his face, clearly happy to see his Old Lady for the first time in a week.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he chirped, “Man have I missed you.”

As he set his bags on the floor, you just stood there staring at him blankly. You could tell by the way he looked up at you that he was expecting you to confess how much you missed him too. When you didn’t, he asked, “Is everything alright?”

All you could muster, as you wrapped your arms around yourself, shaking your head frantically, was, “I- no.” That’s when the tears started to stream down your face.

In one swift motion, Juice wiped the tears off your cheeks and wrapped an arm around you, leading you to the couch. You both sat down and he pulled you into his chest, resting his chin on top of your head.

You had cried in front of him before, but never like this. The sounds you were making were guttural cries for help.

“Y/N, just take a deep breath and talk to me.”

After about 10 minutes of him trying to calm you down, you finally spoke. “That night, at the bar with Lyla and Tara, the guy I told you about-“

“The one who wouldn’t leave you alone?” Juice said, finishing your sentence.

You pulled back from his embrace and nodded your head slowly. “I didn’t tell you the whole story.”

A scowl crept onto Juice’s face as you took a deep breath and continued, ”He- he followed me home Juice.”

As the confusion of why you were bringing up that ass-hole again slowly started to sink in, a look of panic found its way onto Juice’s face.

“What happened?” he asked sternly.

Words completely escaped you. All you could do was stare at him, your mouth wide open and dry with worry.

“Y/N, what the fuck happened?” The tone of his voice startled you, but it was the push you needed to finally let go of everything you had been keeping inside.

“I didn’t even notice him until it was too late,” you started, as tears continued to stream down your face. Juice’s eyes were on fire and he was grinding his teeth and clenching his fists.

“He grabbed my purse, threw it behind him, and shoved me against the side of the building. My head hit the brick wall so hard that my ears started ringing. I’m almost thankful that happened though because I don’t think I would have liked to hear what he had to say... His actions spoke loud enough.”

As reality set in, Juice stood up and started pacing. He had his hands on the back of his head and he was breathing heavily.

“Juice, he- he-“ you stuttered in between breathless sobs.

“That worthless piece of shit raped you didn’t he?!”

The look on your face said it all, and that’s when something inside Juice snapped.

19: The number of times you said “Please” while begging Juice not to do anything stupid.

“I’m going to find that mother-fucker and I’m going to rip his heart out!” Juice exclaimed.

Looking up at him through damp eyelashes, you shook your head frantically. You knew that this was how he would react, but you just couldn’t keep it a secret from him any longer.

“Please, Juice, don’t,” you finally got out, “please, don’t be stupid.”

He looked at you, the fire in his eyes growing larger by the second. “I can’t sit back and do nothing. That piece of shit took the most beautiful and caring person I know and r-“ he couldn’t say that word a second time. He was looking at the floor when you stood up and walked towards him.

“Juice, please, think about this-“ you started but was cut off by him, “What he did was disgusting and he doesn’t deserve for anyone to go easy on him.”

He was still pacing back and forth, when all of a sudden he stopped, looked you dead in the eyes, and turned towards the door.

“No, Juice, please, please!” You grabbed his hand but he turned to you and said sternly, “Let go of me. I need to do this.”

“Please,” was the only word you seemed to be able to say the entire time you followed him down the stairs and across the lawn of your apartment building.

As he threw his leg over the seat of his bike and started putting on his helmet, you kept begging him, “Juice please don’t do this! Please don’t do something stupid. I don’t know what I would do if you got arrested.”

“I can’t just sit back and do nothing. That son of a bitch deserves what’s coming,” Juice stated as he adjusted the rings on his fingers.

“PLEASE JUICE,” you yelled as he started to drive away, “I CAN’T LOSE YOU.”

Whether he heard you or not, it didn’t matter, he had his mind made up. You took a second to breathe before running back to your apartment, slipping on some shoes, and grabbing the keys to your car.

A couple months ago, when you told Juice the first half of the story, he was already pissed off enough that you two went to the bar together and he made you point out the guy who hadn’t left you alone.

Since then, Juice had done his research. You knew he had hacked the guy’s laptop, and cellphone, and figured out exactly where he lived and where he worked.

Considering the time of day, you headed to the guy’s house, knowing full well that would be the first place Juice would go.

Sure enough, you pulled up at the guy’s house and there was Juice’s bike, along with a bunch of other vehicles. The front door to the house was wide open, clearly Juice hadn’t even given the guy time to say hello before he pushed his way inside.

14: The number of times Juice punched the guy before you heard the sirens.

You walked through the front door before things got violent. Across the room, you saw your attacker and your boyfriend squaring up to each other.

“Dude, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the guy said through a slight smirk, and that’s all it took to push Juice over the edge.

He wasted no time, shoving the guy to the floor and jumping on top of him, pinning the guy’s arms down so he couldn’t defend himself. It didn’t take long before Juice began the relentless beating on the guy’s face.

“This. Is. For. Y/N.” Juice yelled between punches, as you heard the sirens approaching.

11: The number of cops that showed up.

An army of men in uniform made their way through the door, but Juice didn’t let up. It took 5 full grown men to pull Juice off the guy.

When they finally restrained Juice, as they lifted him up, Juice spit in the guy’s face and said, “You are a worthless piece of shit.”

8: The number of people that were there to witness it all happen.

The cops got there so fast that someone must have called them before Juice started throwing punches.

6: The number of years the guy was sentenced to.

It was discovered that the guy who attacked you had also been responsible for one other sexual assault case that had never been solved. If there was any comfort you took in what had happened that night, it was knowing that Juice had been responsible for bringing a sense of closure to the other woman who had been attacked, too.

2: The number of months Juice was going to be in Stockton.

Regardless of who this guy was, Juice had still assaulted someone. The court was kind enough to give him a reduced sentence based on the overall situation though, which was something you were very thankful for.

1: The number of seconds you were able to contain yourself when Juice was finally outside the walls of Stockton.

“Hey, Baby!” Juice yelled, still being escorted by two guards through the jail yard. You were standing there, your hands gripping the chain link fence.

You were so excited the only word that came out of your mouth was a shrill, “Hi!”

The guards signaled to have the gate opened, and one second was all it took before you jumped on Juice, wrapping your arms around his neck, and your legs around his waist. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you as close to him as he could.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you whispered in his ear, as he slowly set you down.

Cupping your face in his hands, he whispered back, “I’ve missed you too, sweetheart.”

Those two months had been the hardest of your relationship. You had finally told Juice the secret that had been weighing on you for months, and you lost him in the same night. Having him back was the best feeling in the world.

[ijustwant2write]

The Ideal Daughter-In Law-Jax Teller x Reader (Part 1)

(GIF credit to owner)

Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: After the kidnapping of Abel, Jax had a meltdown, his mind is too in shock to process anything around him. His oldest friend (Y/N), along with the rest of his family and the club, do everything they can to help him. However, his so-called girlfriend, Tara, isn’t doing her part. But for some reason, no one else can see that besides (Y/N).

Characters: Jax Teller x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, bitchiness

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As I parked up in Teller Morrow, I turned off the engine and sat back for a few minutes. It had been an exhausting week. Some of the workers were outside fixing cars, there was not a Son in sight. No, they had much bigger problems on their hands. Abel had been kidnapped, no one had any idea where he could be, not even the police. He was so young, so fragile, so small; how could someone rip a baby from their parent’s arms? It was barbaric.

Breathing in and out slowly, I tried to remain calm. Everyone was under pressure, very stressed out. Although it was an extremely saddening time, some of us had to attempt to keep everyone sane. As I exited my car, Juice called out my name, jogging to my side. I hugged him as a greeting.

“Didn’t know you were swinging by today.” he commented.

“Well, I have nothing to do today, so I figured that I would come to help as much as I could.”

“Not sure what’s left to do. We’re at a dead end.”

We started to walk to the clubhouse.“Don’t speak like that! We are going to get him back.”

His eyes softened.“I know. I just can’t stand to see Jax like this.”

“No, me neither.” Entering the clubhouse together, we saw some of the members sat around, looking fed up. Cautious with my words, I slid on a bar stool next to Opie.

“Hi guys.” I started, only receiving a few answers.“Any news?”

They all shook their heads. It was clear to see that everyone felt the same about Abel. We were all very close to each other, blood or not.

Instead of speaking to everyone, I turned to Opie.“Hey, you seen Jax recently?”

“Yeah, the other day. But he doesn’t even speak anymore or awknowlawdge that you’re there.”

“I want to see him. But that bitch won’t let me in the house anymore.”

“Tara?”

“Who else? I get it, they’re together now, but he’s still my friend.”

“That was one of his biggest mistakes, choosing her over you.”

I had been the one to make a move on Jax. I wasn’t going to hide my feelings if they were there. Surprisingly he accepted it, and we were dating. Sort of. It wasn’t really official but we were always with each other, kissing, showing off with the PDA and also lots of sex. Having grown up with the club (my father was a mechanic before he passed away), I was already part of the family. Abel was also already born before any of this, making me his mother for those couple of months. I loved him, although he came out of a crackhead’s vagina, he was still perfect. But of course I couldn’t have this happy life for long.

Tara Knowles came sauntering back into town. She thought she could take back everything that used to be hers, including Jax; unfortunately for me, she was right. It was as if I no longer existed. As soon as she turned up at his house, he was practically on his knees begging her to come back. What happened to me? I wasn’t even sure myself. He just left me. Simple.

It took a few months for me to forgive him. I was a weak soul. I loved him too much to just kick him out my life. Opie and Gemma were the only ones who had the courage to tell me that I was an idiot. They had told me to stay and keep on fighting, as if I hadn’t already tried.

“Damn right it was.” Gemma appeared beside me, not waiting to give me a hug.

“Guys, this isn’t important right now.”

“That should be you in that house with him. Look, I’m going over later on, you wanna come?”

“I don’t-”

“I’ll make sure she lets you in. Come on, you haven’t seen him for ages.”

I sighed.“Thanks Gemma.”

As I drove Gemma and I to Jax’s house, my heart beat started to accelerate. It had been quite a few weeks since I saw him, only able to catch him once after Abel’s kidnapping. I prayed that Tara wouldn’t be there, I needed to see him, to comfort him. I almost hadn’t noticed that we were turning into his street, the route was engraved into my mind.

I trailed behind Gemma as she headed to the house, now feeling unsure of myself. What if Jax didn’t want to see me? What if Tara had convinced him not to see me anymore? Jax only ever listened to her now and he was vulnerable. Trying to push The negative thoughts away, I stood behind Gemma as she knocked on the door. When no one answered, she took out her spare key, calling out to her son as we entered. Looking around the house, everything seemed clean, if Tara hadn’t been living there I knew it would look like a junkyard. I waited for Gemma to find Jax first, figuring that it would be better than bombarding him with people. Their voices were muffled and I didn’t want to eavesdrop. Slowly making my way to the kitchen, I peeked in slightly, my heart breaking over Jax’s appearance as he say at the table; he had got worse, the bags under his eyes now even bigger, hair greasy and his beard unkept. For a moment I lost it, rushing over and hugging him tightly. It felt great when he wrapped one of his arms around me too, the other occupied with a cigarette.

I sat on the seat opposite him, still holding onto his hand.“When was the last time you showered?”

He didn’t look at me, shrugging his shoulders.

I tugged on his hand “Jax, get up off your arse and shower. You stink, it’ll help you feel better.” Just as I was about to pull him out of his chair, he surprised me by stunning out the cigarette and heading to the bathroom. Gemma and I glanced at each other, staying silent as we waited to hear the sound of running water. When we did, we shared a smile, relieved that he was doing something productive today.

“I couldn’t even get him out of bed, how the hell did you do that?” Gemma asked as she handed me a cup of coffee.

“I don’t even know myself. I was getting ready to drag him out of the room.”

“You two have something, I’m telling ya’.”

We made small talk as Jax showered, sometimes going quiet to listen out for him. He walked back in properly dress, no sweatpants and old shirt; he had his jeans and a SAMCRO hoodie, his hair still wet. He kissed his mom’s forhead before sitting beside me. As he went to speak, the front door opened and I tried not to groan as Tara appeared in the doorway.

She didn’t try to hide her disgust as she saw me.“Hi, I didn’t know you guys were coming.”

“Sorry, tried to book an appointment but your receptionist wasn’t picking up.” I mocked.

“I thought I told you to stay away.”

“I thought I told you to go fuck yourself.”

“Alright!” Gemma interrupted.“I brought (Y/N) with me. You can’t keep these guys apart.”

Tara said nothing, walking over to Jax and placing a long kiss to his lips, obviously trying to rub it in. I kept on staring at them, not showing any signs of weakness; if she thought I was going to back down, she had another thing coming. As she went to put her work things away, I rolled my eyes, already pissed off. How did Jax put up with her? Gemma decided to start up a conversation, wanting to forget what just happened.

Tara came back in, fixing herself a drink before sitting on the other side of Jax. We avoided each other’s gaze the whole time. Yes, we were very petty. The awkward tension was building up by the minute, everyone could feel it, so we were all secretly relieved when some of the Sons came walking through. Clay, Tig, Opie, Chibs and Juice made their presence known as they entered the house, knowing they needed to act like this in front of Jax.

“Jackie boy!” Chibs clapped him in the shoulders, shaking him slightly.“You’ve had a shower!”

“(Y/N) finally convinced him.” Gemma smiled.

“Nice one lass.” he came and kissed me on the forehead before doing the same with Gemma but completely missing Tara out. Ha.

“Hey Clay, can I speak to you please?” Tara asked. He nodded and walked out, leaving me to wonder.

Everyone helped themselves to anything they wanted, though that wasn’t unusual. I thought it was good for Jax to be surrounded by his family. He was starting to talk a little more now, I saw a hint of a smile coming through. However, the mood had to come to an end when Tig spoke up about the situation at hand.

“Jax, we’re heading to the docks today, see if we can get any more leads. You’re coming with us.” he said.

Jax didn’t respond for a second before slowly nodding.

“Great. We’re going now.”

As they started to discuss what was going to happen, I used the excuse to go to the bathroom when really I wanted to seek out Tara and Clay. They were stood in Abel’s room, the door slightly ajar, open enough for me to listen in.

“Tara, don’t worry. You’re doing a great job. It seems like he’s getting better.” I heard Clay say.

“You really think so?”

“Yeah. He’s lucky he’s got you right now. You’ve done so much for him, for all of us. I couldn’t imagine him with anyone else.”

My mouth hung open in shock. What the hell had she done?! Gemma had informed me that she was never there, always working and when Tara did come home, she was too tired to do anything. Her boyfriend’s son was kidnapped, surely she would be showing some sympathy? And what had she done for the club? Tara constantly bad mouthed the club, she had never liked it. It hurt that Clay had said that to her.

I walked away quickly, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping. Locking myself in the bathroom, I waited a few minutes before exiting. Rage filled my body, I couldn’t even hide it. As I snatched my handbag off the table, Gemma stood and followed me out of the room, trying to keep up as I stormed out of the house.

“(Y/N)! Where are you going?” she called out.

“Home. There was no point even coming here.” I unlocked my car and was about to get in when Gemma slammed the door shut.

“And why is that?”

Everyone was filing out of the house now. I usually didn’t want to cause scenes and have a huge outburst but today was an exception.

“I’m done with this Gemma. I can’t pussy foot around anymore.” I sternly said.

She waited for an explanation.

“I’ve been the one helping Jax. I was the one making sure he had enough food in the day, that he had company, a shoulder to cry on!”

“I know you and Tara don’t get along-”

“She’s getting all the praise! She’s not even comforting him anymore, he told me so.”

The Sons were at their bikes, Tara in the doorway. Clay decided to step in which was a bad mistake on his part.

“Now’s not the time for this. We’ve got more important matters.”

“No, now is the only time we’ll talk about this. I heard what you said to her. At first I thought they were all lies; you had always told me how much you hated her, only that she was useful when we got into major trouble. But you sounded so genuine-”

“(Y/N) enough-”

“I just want Jax to get better! But nothing is going to change if he stays cooped up in that house with her.”

I was getting myself worked up and I hated crying in front of anyone. Slightly shoving Gemma out of the way, I got in the car, driving away as fast as I could before I changed my mind. Some family.