#tammie x ryan 004

[rviner]

Tammie looks to him in soft scrutiny, her brows furrowing as she watches him make light of everything. A trademark that he's always been famous for and those closest all know that it's his own way of protection. But Ryan's laughter is contagious enough for her own expression to break from a wide smile. Scoffing, Tammie's eyes roll with the grin still in place over her lips. "You should tell him." she urges playfully, brows lifting as she finally laughs. "Maybe you and JJ will be the best a'buddies now." although it's unlikely, it's a momentary thought that brings her a sense of peace. What if everything is different? What if it isn't.

The mention of Beau has Tammie making a quick snort, shoving Ryan's arm again. "Oh God, leave him alone, he ain't botherin' nobody." she mumbles in a soft laugh. At least the Sullivan has given her a wide berth as of late, but Tammie has never wanted to exist ruthlessly to others, and she isn't immune to feeling guilt. She defends herself with a raise of her hand, proud in the fact she was eager and quick to protect her family. "Well, I ain't sorry. I'll never be sorry and you and Jacob and everyone else gotta accept that." she states clearly, sitting slightly straighter.

When the laughter goes, it only leaves room for Tammie to face the reality of their conversation. This is another form of a goodbye, and she can't help the urge that wants to overtake. To say no more goodbyes, let's just try. But, she can't. And she doubts Ryan will put up much of a fight. So, Tammie nods softly. "Okay." she accepts the inevitable, deciding that it's better now than later. Easier to control than to wait for it to happen all by itself. "Well," she clears her throat, glancing to Ryan and a part of her hopes he will say something else. Just anything so it isn't a goodbye. "If y'all need anythin', you know where we are."

★・・・・・・★

Ryan snickers, pulling his foot away after Tammie thuds her boot against it. "It's easy to laugh when everythin's funny." he shrugs in more laughter, knowing he's pushing his luck but also continuing. The fact Tammie can see straight through him like the rest of his family doesn't stop the charade either, for long. Because he supposes, she is family. That was a lot of years together, practically becoming one if it wasn't for the barricades lifted into place that they're still both desperately trying to keep there. He nods about JJ, letting out a sigh because differences aside, Jackson Jones managed to save all of their asses. "Yeah, your dad's gotta be proud. Raised all y'all up right but JJ stepped the fuck up, can't deny that." and he'd probably say it to the other's face if there weren't lingering resentments.

Laughing about Jacob, Ryan shrugs his hands in a quick there you go motion. Center Hill wasn't exactly a city even if their lives hugged around Atlanta, but there's a certain kind of city boy that's painfully obvious and Ryan will never be it. "Bet Beau's happy to get a friend." he comments, a cheeky tone as he grins but glances away from Tammie. As soon as her hit connects with his arm, he's cackling and his head is shaking in a firm no. "Don't even start that, Tammie. You was tryna blow his damn head off!" he's curious what would have actually happened if JJ didn't intervene, but for Jacob's sake is happy somebody kept their head. Everybody else's seemed long gone.

I don't know. It pulls the laughter to a stop, and Ryan can only nod. Because Tammie is someone who's sure of everything, even the things she's unsure about. There's never much doubt in her stubbornness, and it kills Ryan to think that he's to blame for it suddenly appearing. That out of all the things for Tammie to be unsure about, the rare times she is. It's them. It's him. "Yeah." he agrees for the sake of it because of his own doubt. Fighting seems worth it and more, but not if Tammie's made up her mind. "Alright, we can forget it. I'll probably er..." he waves a hand in the direction he came from. "Got a few things goin' on so probably won't catch you for a while."

[rviner]

"You are a dick but I'm not mad." Tammie laughed with slight embarrassment for her watering eyes, scoffing out her chuckle to stop her wobbling voice as Ryan neared her and Faith. She welcomed the affection with a sad smile, leaning into the embrace and glancing up to him. "I mean it, I'm not sad or mad." she added, unconvincing but it was the best she could do when anything to do with her mother brought out aching nostalgia, always reminding her that Ava Jones now only existed in memories. Her hand moved up to cup against Ryan's jaw, giving a loving little shake and then pat. "You don't have to. It was old and me and Nora stopped even takin' any notice of it eventually anyways." And that was sad too, growing up around memories and forgetting how much they could mean- or not realizing what they meant until reminded. Tammie eyed Ryan closely with a soft but appreciating smile for the comfort he could show easily but then she laughed about the music, rolling her eyes and sniffing loudly to push away the dullness she had been dropped into. "Just so you can do that annoying ass impression' of him?" she chuckled, prodding Ryan's chest as she grinned in return. "Actually," her head tilted and she mumbled the admission in slight reluctance. "It probably would make me feel a lil better, just a little bit." she muttered, before stepping away and placing her hand to Faith's back. "Faith likes him too, her legs go crazy." Which meant crawling was on the horizon. "God, we need to baby proof shit next."

★・・・・・・★

"Honestly, I think it's from Wolf doin' all those weird ass accents when he read us shit." Ryan's laughter was almost a howl and he wished, God he really wished, the world could see them when they were like this. For all of the opinions that existed about them, even if they were true, Ryan wished they could peer a little closer and see the constant laughter. The reach of hands or hanging onto one other by a hooked finger in a busy bar, the belly laughter that erupted sometimes from just a look. And this wasn't even them at their best, it was only a quick ghost of their old selves. He needed them back, unable to know how to resurrect them but hanging onto the ghost of them with hooked finger and hoping, praying, to not feel it slip. But it did, the shatter of memories his dumbass managed to bulldoze through and the sound of their daughter's scared noise brought Ryan back to reality quickly. His eyes scanned over Tammie's features, hearing the change in her tone and following behind her towards Faith. "Hey, hey. Stop. You can be mad." he nodded, embracing both girls at once while bringing Tammie closer to him. "You can call me a dick. I'm sorry." Ryan knew what it meant, while he didn't have cherished things from his own mother and even if he did they would be tarnished with memories overshadowed by Jeff instead. But, all those late night talks with Tammie, hearing her talk about Ava stood for something. "I promise, Tams. Look." Ryan's hand brushed against her hair, trying to offer a smile as his other guided against her chin gently to make her peer up to him. "I'll fix it, I know it won't be the same but I got it. Swear down. I'm sorry, you can even cry if you wanna." the grin cracked then, his thumb grazing gently against the of the corner of her eye. "You wanna listen to that country frat mullet boy you like? Worgan Mallen or whatever, that asshole?"

[rviner]

"Oh, you're good Ryan." Tammie laughed, fighting the smirk on her face as her head shook slowly at him. She scoffed lightly as her own finger tips traced against his hand and it wasn't because she didn't believe him. Ryan always had a capable air to him, it was possibly one of the many reasons why she fell so hard and so fast. He could make promises sound easy, but the reality always came knocking in the form of a police car and cell bars. Tammie's gaze softened when he was looking back up to her, eyes flicking between his while the smirk threatened to break into more laughter. "Uhuh, guess it means you're decidin' to wear body glitter when you go out with the boys now. I don't know what's worse." she teased, letting out a quick laugh as she glanced down to her legs. "You can't see anything!?" she protested quickly but caught the shorts with a sigh and stepped into them. "Don't even stay up 'cause your wide ass hips." Tammie muttered, tugging at the strings to tighten the waist and then she was gone, returning the sarcastic salute as she disappeared through the door. "Make it quick, stink."

For what it was worth, their morning was a brief but sweet one. All four of them sharing breakfast together before Ryan and Tammie waved Mason off, a little too eagerly and probably making the poor boy wonder if they were changing the locks. Faith was set up in her bouncer then, angled by the spare room door so they could keep her entertained while fleeting between boxes and a whole load of shit they never got around to clearing. Snorting to herself, Tammie's hand rummaged through some letters and she elbowed Ryan to get his attention. "Look at this, look how whipped you used to be. This was a few months after we met." she teased him, flashing a letter from prison before she cleared her throat to give the best Ryan Cross impression of her life. "Missin' you, baby. Got nothing to do but think of you and keep rememberin' how-" another snort. "Oh my God, I didn't even realize how corny you was." she chuckled, sniffing to get back to the joke. "-how cute you looked with that lil bit of oil near your nose. Hope you're waitin' until we can go for that long ride out together, I know I am." she whacked his arm with the letter laughing loudly and hearing Faith's little babble of chuckles. "Yeah, see. Your daddy's a sap, Faithy. Don't let him fool you." Tammie teased, flicking through the other letters and pulling another to the front. "I kept 'em all from back then. That's the most Center Hill shit I've ever seen."

★・・・・・・★

"I'll get us a new one. How big you want the house? You always wanted a wrap around porch, right? Those swingin' seats, I'll get you those too." Ryan mumbled in his chuckle with all the confidence in the world, head cocking to the side because her answer wasn't exactly a no. "Not yet is good enough for me, Tams. Won't be long 'til she is crawlin' anyways." he teased her but it wasn't a joke, not really, fingers splaying across her hip to etch fingertips over her stomach. She was right, he wasn't listening at least not in his full capacity as he watched his palm travel against her skin before he glanced back to her, eyes instantly brighter when they met hers. "I said uhuh. I got it. Boxes, truck. Keeping, not keepin'." he smirked before laughing at the visit to the arch threatening to become known. Ryan shook his head firmly. "No bullshit, swear it. Weren't no dancers, nothing." There were no women whatsoever, for that matter. Ryan was still smirking, aiding Tammie's movement over him by resting on his back while his hands fell to her hips with an appreciative noise leaving his chest for a moment. "Baby, you're ten times worse than ten time worse." he chimed, smacking a quick hand across her ass as she was gone from the bed and making him sit up to watch her. "Yes ma'am." he joked, saluting to her orders before he tutted at her when she was almost at the door. "Where the hell you going with those legs? Put my damn shorts on. Mase will be up." he laughed, moving to lean out of the bed and throw her some more modesty. "I'ma shower and then breakfast, if that's alright with you Miss head of the damn house."

[rviner]

"Not in this lil house." Tammie chuckled, feeling a warmth within her chest but quickly shooting Ryan a quizzical glance. Instead of laughing with amusement, her brows furrowed and her head tilted to the side at him with a paused smile. "Quit being stupid, Ry. Not yet, Faith ain't even crawling." she decided to tease instead of letting herself get caught in a day dream. It was easy to with Ryan and, despite the years together, that smile and those blue eyes always wound up winning her over. Not that she minded. They laughed too easily together, passion an undercurrent to everything about their relationship even when it tipped on either side of intense and angry. It always was there, Tammie chuckling again at the tickle of his palm over her skin as her hands dove into his hair. "You're not even listening to me, Ryan Cross." she mused softly, still with a smile as she watched him lean up and then rest to the side of her again. Tammie was propped up on her elbow once more, fingers skimming back and forth over his jaw as she rolled her eyes at him. "Yeah I was mad because I know you were somewhere with glitter." she shot him a stern glance with a grin on her face. "But, I know Wolf was with y'all so he wouldn't let any bullshit happen without telling me." It was the only thing that stopped that issue becoming bigger and Tammie couldn't ignore her hypocrisy either. It stunted her every day. Swatting his hand from the air in another laugh, Tammie tutted to him. "Okay stop that. I could be ten times worse and you know it." she protested, using the hold on him to leverage herself up and over but she didn't stay there for long before she rolled out of bed entirely. "I'll get Faith and breakfast and you..." Tammie scooped up his t-shirt from the floor to throw over herself, realizing she was giving herself more of a workload. "Actually you get breakfast and then reverse your truck."

★・・・・・・★

"Always room for more." Ryan laughed, but his head canted to the side at Tammie's reaction. He kept the grin on his face but his voice softened, sadly curious. "No? You don't wanna?" he pried, thinking if he stole a few more kisses that he could meddle words from her that sounded like the ones he wanted to hear. Or, needed to. This was it now, right? It can't be too late. If he had his shit together sooner, what would everything have looked like? He might have got the chance to raise Mason, got the chance to hear the babbles of a few more voices than just Faith's little one. Got the chance to see Tammie keep the ring on her finger, take his name and wake up to her like this every single day without fail. As her legs lifted, Ryan's hand quickly followed upwards along her thigh to her hip and let out a chuckle. "Yeah, you do." he grinned, listening to the ready made plans with small and playfully sarcastic 'uh-huh's' leaving his lips while he preferred to focus on dragging long kisses over her jaw. The tap at his side made Ryan laugh easily, leaning up again in time for the playful slap and grab against his jaw which he smiled through widely. "I've told you, we didn't go to Diamond. We were at Phoenix, Docs and then Levi's." he cackled, flopping against the bed at her side again. "Musta just like been in the air or something." he insisted, falling into another laugh. "You were so mad. Said I probably had Debbie's tits in my face, why you actin' like you're chilled?" Ryan teased her, waving his free hand that wasn't around her into the air to mimic a sign. "Ladies and gentleman, Tammie Jones suddenly don't give a fuck if her man's at the strip club."

[rviner]

"There are too many of you Cross boys." Tammie noted in a grin, her laughter growing as Ryan shifted them and her arms rested on his shoulders. She tried to tilt to stop the tickle of his beard, chuckling but swatting his shoulder at the words. "And I'm not adding to that problem." she hummed, watching as Ryan looked to her and giving him a soft shake of her head as her teeth dragged over her bottom lip thoughtfully. "I don't know what you're trying to do this morning, Ry but we got work to do." Tammie laughed to him as he shifted her legs, lifting her knees against his sides, welcoming the brush of their lips. He was probably just saying it for a reaction, but raising a big family was always something that Tammie saw as a staple of fulfilled life. Just too bad they had mountains of shit to sort through and kept ignoring it. She kept ignoring it. "I do." she added perkily, nodding up at him as her hands stroked over his arms but found their way back to his face. "We get Faith in her bouncer, set up some empty boxes and throw shit into one we're keeping, one we ain't, load the ones we ain't into your truck. You should probably reverse it so it's easier for us to just dump 'em." Tammie grinned, craning her neck to kiss him quickly. "Which means, get off'a me because we gotta get moving." she tapped his side but her laughter appeared again. "I'm furious." she added against the kiss with no ire. "Just think it's funny you're so sketchy about going to Diamond, ain't no other way you got glitter on your face. Unless Phoebe suddenly didn't wanna own a dive bar anymore." she laughed, pretending to land a slap to his cheek but then gently holding Ryan's jaw to give his head a little shake from other side.

★・・・・・・★

As Ryan's fingers trailed upwards along Tammie's arm, they then made a purposeful catch into her hair to hold her head to his chest for a moment longer. He knew the years he missed, reminding him daily that there was a lot he needed to be sorry for. Not realizing how good he had it with her, how Tammie offered a whole door that opened onto a whole new life and he didn't take it until she showed him those pink lines on the test. He was sorry for the heaviness he brought to their lightness, but was she? The thought would always arrive when he never wanted it to, Ryan forcing it away so it wasn't another memory tarnished. Not now. Sometimes, the pretense was just as beautiful as the real thing. "Because he's a Cross boy." he chuckled about Mason, shifting with a slow roll to move over her and burying a kiss into her neck. "When we have a boy, he'll be tall as shit too, huh?" he grinned against her skin, leaning up to read her reaction with all the mischievousness of his name behind his eyes. Ryan nodded about the room, but his thoughts were more taken by her body beneath his as he carefully used his knee to nudge against her thigh, smirking when he was able to rest between them. "Yeah but we got it, you probably got a whole system worked out in your head for it." he teased slightly about Tammie's proficiency in bossiness, this time bringing a kiss to her lips. "Don't sound so surprised, the fuck?" he laughed, the hand not propping him up free to roam over her frame. "That was what you got going on when we first met, I remember." That was half of the problem. "You still pissed about The Phoenix the other night, or what?" Ryan asked jokingly and he tested the waters with another well timed kiss before she could answer, smirking against her mouth.

[rviner]

Seven years sounded like an impressive amount of time, and it was. Ryan swooping into her life when Tammie least expected it, flashing that famous Cross smirk that got the brothers in and out of trouble. But, the seven years had been chopped into shorter stints of time, ending prematurely or being separated by Ryan treating USP Atlanta like a personal motel. So, Tammie never took it for granted when she could reach her hand out beside her and feel his touch waiting for her and not an empty space against the bed. She shuffled close shamelessly, flopping her head to Ryan's chest with a content smile on her face. "The room? Yeah, he can't keep sleeping on that couch for much longer it ain't fair. Just don't know why he had to have such long legs." Tammie chuckled as she nodded, closing her eyes again to the feel of Ryan's arm around her and his hand draping shapes over her arm. "Well, I hope he's got work or it's not much of a surprise." she smirked, looking up to him. There were a few mental road blocks when it came to that room. "It's gonna be a big job, first it was all that shit when we moved in. Then all the shit when we did Faith's room. So now it's like two rooms worth of shit in one." Not to mention what memories they'd face, some happy and some sad. Like life, she guessed. Her laugh was a little louder at the squeeze on her waist, Tammie almost resembling a giggling version of herself. "Yeah!" she propped herself up on an elbow with pleasant surprise at Ryan noticing. "The hair mask. Thought they stopped making 'em but then saw 'em again." she smiled, giving the pointless information because for a second the twinkle was back behind her eyes as she flopped her hand to his chest in a quick pat. "Wish I could say you smelled like honey but you smell like Cross."

where: ryan and tammie's home

with: ryan cross and tammie jones @blackheartatl

★・・・・・・★

The light shift of weight beside him pulled Ryan from his already shallow sleep, eyes still stuck closed as his arm raised in a natural response to the movement and to give Tammie her spot against his chest before it dropped around her. Ryan's eyes were forced open to check the time on the alarm clock, Faith now in a strong enough routine to only make a peep on the dot of six thirty. "We still doing that thing today?" he mumbled, voice thick with sleep as he tucked his head against the top of Tammie's and his fingers circled against her arm. Snapshots like these and they could almost fool the world and themselves that they were a normal little family, and Ryan wished to believe it more than anything. He'd let himself believe during the brief moments between their eyes opening before their daughter's. "Think he's got work, I asked yesterday." Ryan then said, referring to Mason who was still scrunched on a couch that his long ass legs stretched over like it was nothing. Ryan drew a long but soft inhale against Tammie's hair while a smirk formed to the scent, his hand skimming lower to squeeze her waist gently. "You got that honey shampoo thing again. Smells good."

[rviner]

"You're what's funny, Ryan." Tammie cackled at him, waving around the letter. "Mr. Tough Cross." she pouted teasingly, trying to form a fake frown but was laughing too much for it to stick. "That's exactly what you sound like, and you know it. You and Hunter go all British sometimes too. Where the hell did that even come from?" she snorted, backing up and waving the letter around so he couldn't take it but she quickly squealed as he grabbed her instead. It was all fun and games until the loud crack made Tammie gasp and her laughter cut off sharply, bouncing away from Ryan to turn and see what happened. Even as the loud noise startled Faith into a small cry, Tammie saw the splintered doll house and felt a sudden ache in her chest. It would be stupid to many people perhaps, but each room had been painted by her mother and unveiled as a Christmas present for her and Nora. It was more than just a silly toy, but Tammie breathed in sharply. "I'm not mad." she uttered frankly, not wanting to get a closer look and instead turning so she could scoop Faith from the bouncer to soothe her. "It was an accident, I'm fine." she waved a hand to Ryan, hating how easily she could form tears of her own since becoming a mother. She blamed pregnancy hormones as much as possible but maybe she was just a crier now? And she hated it. Sniffling quickly, Tammie bounced Faith in her arms while not looking to Ryan. "Wasn't your fault, Ry. It's fine. Was old anyways, don't even know how it got in here. Thought I left it at my dad's." she wished she had. "Let's just carry on, right? Mase can't sleep on a couch when his legs are longer than the damn thing and he can't sleep in a room full of boxes so. Let's keep going."

★・・・・・・★

"You know it." Ryan nodded, his words accompanied with a rascal smirk and quick cackle. His laughter grew louder at the idea body glitter, but was followed with a tsk as he rolled out of bed next, watching Tammie pull up his shorts which he supposed just completed a hotter look instead of covering anything up. "Shut up, Adam Sandler. Feed our kid." he snapped jokingly, following her out of the room closely so they could start their day. Snapshots of those moments were always taken in and stamped to Ryan's memories. A smile on his face planted there, making him more human that he felt in years. A son, a daughter and seeing what looked like love in Tammie's eyes.

The preparation for Mason's room resembled when they readied the nursery for Faith, a rush but excitement all the same. Just as he broke down an empty box to flatten, Ryan glanced at Tammie's laugh with a knit of brows and laughing simply because she was. "What's so funny?" he asked, peering to the letters and knowing instantly what they were. Ryan laughed louder, trying to make a grab for them with a lazy swipe of his hand as Tammie roughed up her voice for the impression. "I don't sound like that." he declared, shooting a look to Faith as she joined in the chuckles. "Now this ain't fair, there's two of you." he pointed between them, smile fixed in place. "Tammie-" Ryan's arm hooked around her waist to pull her towards him in a spin so her back fell against his chest, stumbling with her in laughter as he tried to grab the letters. In a quick motion, his balance was gone and sent him slipping, catching the fall quickly but not without the harsh noise of a box collapsing in on itself under him and a crunch from something breaking. "Oh shit." Ryan breathed, still with a chuckle and a hold of Tammie against him. Pushing them both up, he moved his attention to the box and peered within while his smile switched to a quick frown. The god damn dolls house her mom and dad made her and Nora- which they argued about how it even ended up in their truck in the first place all those years ago, and he shot a cautious glance back to Tammie. "Okay so er..." he pulled a face. "You're gonna be mad." he preempted, watching her closely. "You okay? We can...I can fix it."

[rviner]

"Oh wow, that was some quick thinkin'." Tammie remarks sardonically in a laugh of her own at Ryan's rather feeble attempt of a save and like always, not many things can be left alone. Her boot connects with his in a swift knock. "Wish I found everythin' as God damn funny as you do. Just laughin' at nothing." she adds as an afterthought even if the Cross' constant joker-act was enough to make her crazy at times. But this moment seem more bitter than sweet and Tammie can't place exactly why. Sitting side by side like this, the distant noise of the work on the farm could be a snapshot of their past. It can easily resemble the long talks that drew on for hours until dusk draped the sky. But now there's a distance that doesn't even have a word. She chuckles, rolling her eyes before she looks at him. "None of us got anyone to thank 'cept JJ. He made all that look easy." she nods towards nothing, gesturing to the nightmare of Kaslo that's thankfully no longer a reality.

Tammie snorts about Jacob, nodding along to Ryan's observance. "Yeah he's from Chicago. Levi and Beau was with him back in the day. They all know each other, it's like some ol' frat house reunion with a bunch of boys that peaked in college now. Stinks like one too." immediately, her brows pull into a furrow at the mention of the gun and Tammie doesn't hesitate to whack full force into Ryan's arm. "The Hell you think I was raised around? I can shoot. I missed the shot on purpose, I didn't wanna kill him." she mentions in a pointed tone of pride, considering it was JJ's grab of the gun that made the bullet go through Jacob's shoulder.

The laughter doesn't remain, as Tammie knows as well as Ryan does that they're both delaying the inevitable. Isn't that what they always were, anyways? Years of sticking it out when they knew, deep down, how it was always going to end. It was naive hope keeping them going then but these days, hope doesn't seem in as much abundance. She's seen this story before, she knows the ending. When he asks her what she wants, Tammie doesn't know what to answer with. She wants things to make sense, for starters. Her eyes draw away from him slowly and she clears her throat. "I don't know." a shrug and a sigh follow and then there's more silence, cogs turning away. "It's easier, right? Just to forget it, with everythin' else going on. Kinda pointless to set ourselves up for failure again."

★・・・・・・★

His mouth falls open to respond but all that exhales is a laugh as Ryan shakes his head, like he's caught red handed in his own amusement. "Nothin'! I was just...it's nothin'. Ain't laughin' at you." he backtracks in a mumble, rubbing the back of his neck as he shrugs. It's their blessing and curse to know each other enough to read one another. So similar that their horns lock more times than they can count, but so similar that they simply just know. And it's evident that his presence at the damn stables isn't because he wants to muck out and heave horse shit into a wheelbarrow. He knows it was evident that, all along, he had never taken shifts there just for a helping hand. Tammie knows it too, but neither of them say it. "Nah was just, tryna stop you getting your ass killed. You know how stressed I was?" Ryan laughs, placing a small trail for Tammie to follow. The things said could just be things said, they didn't have to linger.

"Seems like a city asshole to me." Ryan comments about the new wolf, not sure how well he will blend with the Jones' but then again there's good old Sullivan city wolves that have been with them for years. "But now I'm really seein' why JJ didn't want me to get you that gun." he adds, remembering the memory while shooting Tammie a glance as he snickers. The small pause between them isn't silent, not really. He can hear the thoughts as they pace through Tammie's brain, certain he can hear them in her damn voice too. The cautiousness that contradicts everything that she is but maybe Ryan got too used to her stubbornness, expected it to always be there. Expected some kind of fight for them, even when he drew those walls up. In the end, she just did the same. Does it matter? Ryan's head tilts in a shrugging nod, as if the question is a sting to his ego. It matters to him. "Guess not." he sighs and follows the trail that Tammie then sets out for him. A deflection from the path they both want to follow. But he also hears her, loud and clear. "I meant what I said, before it all went to shit." Ryan doubts it changes much. "What you want, Tammie? 'cause I don't think I can just sit back like none of it was said."

[rviner]

As she hears Ryan's chuckle before anything has been said, Tammie's gaze shifts to him for a moment. She fights a grin from appearing over her face and scoffs, waving a hand to gesture at him. "What you laughin' at?" Tammie accuses, eyes narrowing while she fights her own chuckles. She can hazard a guess that it's at her, causing her curiousness to pique. But, it also goes hand in hand with who they are. They know each other too well, and even years apart hasn't changed much except cause a feeling of emptiness that Tammie hasn't been able to shake since. Then she catches herself almost mourning them again and snaps herself to, tells herself to stop being stupid. But, hearing his reply makes her nod. "Yeah, you were kinda unscathed." Tammie comments and it was annoying at the time but her gratefulness that he's okay is evident. She supposes, if she had to really admit it, she was also thankful that he cared so much about her safety.

She snickers about Jacob, giving an innocent and careless enough shrug because half of his injuries were there long before she shot a bullet through his shoulder. "Well, he'll live so it coulda been worse. He's damn annoyin', but our dad said we gotta keep him so that's that." like a goldfish won at a fairground, Jacob is now an odd part of the Jones pack that not many of them are excited over and yet it will probably live until it's a thousand years old. "I ain't started nothin', shut up." their laughter is easy again, annoyingly so but now Tammie can't force her features into a blank expression. There's a hint of life behind her eyes for the first time in weeks.

Tammie watches as Ryan shoots to the space beside her, chuckling again to herself before forcing a scoff at the comment. It's obvious where the conversation will go next and Tammie doesn't realize that she's bracing for impact. A Jones isn't scared of much, barreling head first into anything. Pushing through anything in their way. And yet Tammie finds herself cautious, having already seen the ending before. She's not sure if she could ever go through it again. "Does it matter?" she answers his question with one of her own, shrugging at him. "I can't even remember much of what I said anyways." Tammie then lies, in a way she hopes isn't obvious as she glances to Ryan. "Think we all got enough on our plates, right?"

★・・・・・・★

Ryan notes the distraction that he's disturbed and he wonders if this will be a short visit. One that doesn't exactly prove much other than his own beliefs that everything between them is better off in the past. But, he knows he divulged his sentiments to Tammie and in that short moment, she didn't deflect them. She didn't deny them. Almost became now, and yet it returns to being a fleeting moment that he's unsure to revisit. Regardless, Ryan holds onto it, trying to ignore the obvious defense she later on put up. It was stupid, really. Enough to make Ryan chuckle at nothing else other than how it was still a mirror image of what they used to be. A step forward, two back, a leap forward. A back and forth that didn't even tire them out. "Yeah." he sighs the answer, nodding subtly because he didn't have time to dwell on Kaslo or sit with his wounds or even wait for them to heal.

Ryan's hand lifts, ruffling through his hair while another laugh escapes about Jacob and Tammie's expected denial of ever being in the wrong. "I mean, he was put through it. Can't really blame 'im. Think he got it worse than all'a us." he snickers about the wolf, who at the time, was an annoying addition they had to worry about getting to Hollow Cove. All of it had been a disaster. Catching the roll of Tammie's eyes, Ryan's laughter grows. A childish sound where he finds amusement, yet again where it shouldn't be. "I was just asking! Don't start." he huffs, watching the box of food move into the space beside her. The little nod of her head is an invitation he takes quickly, flopping into the place beside her on the fence and he's still chuckling. "Really? 'cause I remember plenty'a times you were difficult without no wolfsbane." he teases for a moment, taking a breath as he glances towards the barn and then back to her. He's never coy or shy but there's a hesitancy that lingers over Ryan, a should he leave it alone question that whirls away in the back of his mind. Instead of surrendering to it, Ryan charges on instead. As he always does. "But sure, it was the wolfsbane. I'll humor ya." he picks at the lunch box, throwing a bite into his mouth as he smirks at her. "So all that other shit you said was a bunch'a bullshit?"

[rviner]

Kaslo sits firmly behind them but with the lingering effects of a bad dream. Tammie finds herself daily revisiting it, her mind churning through a mountain of what ifs. What if they didn't get out, what if JJ didn't find Nora. She's always been thankful for her family but there had been an air of arrogance that Tammie embodied since the day they lost the ranch. She thought the worst was over but now it's obvious that the worst can happen at any moment. Her mind drifts back and forth between then and now and there's another what if that constantly finds a way into her mind. Ryan Cross has been a what if for the past three years, and Tammie wonders if that's all he'll remain. Although, she knows her comments while they were trapped in that room certainly helps keep him as one. She's barely seen him, let alone talked with him.

She tunes out the thoughts of him, much easier than she used to when the wound was fresher and she was convinced it would never heal. Instead, Tammie takes a moment to recollect her thoughts and is distracted by the distant caw of a damn crow that she's seen more than once now since returning. An omen of death that flaps it's black wings before it flies off, only seeming to return whenever she's with Nora. And then it's Ryan's voice next that pulls her away. Her eyes bounce over his frame for a moment as she crosses her arms before replying curtly. "Uhuh. You?" but it's hard for animosity to stay in her tone for long. She lets out a laugh about the new Jones member, ironically who already knew Beau and Levi. But she looks away from Ryan, eyes searching the sky for any sign of that damn crow. "Jacob, yeah. Pretty much, been slow as all hell. He won't shut up about me shootin' him, though." and Tammie decided quickly it was his problem, not hers. She only glances back to Ryan at his comment, a flop of her head and a clear roll of her eyes. "I'm jus' tryna eat my damn food, Ry. Can you stop tryna beat your record on how fast you get on my last nerve?" she punches her lunch box lightly so it rattles into the space beside her and she nods her head for the other wolf to join her. "Was the wolfsbane, if you're really askin' and not just wanting to be a dick for no reason."

where: the stables oct 2nd

with: ryan cross and tammie jones @rviner

★・・・・・・★

The time after their return from Kaslo are filled with bigger concerns for Ryan than the run gone bad. Like many things in his life before war, there is little time for recuperation. On your feet, boy. Shut the hell up. More pressing matters fill his thoughts and with them, his help at the farms stop entirely. The ban preventing Elliot and Isla from heading out is a focus of the Cross pack but even then, there is a gnawing in the back of Ryan's mind. How the years apart almost diminished between him and Tammie. Almost. Only to appear again to feel vaster than ever. The slow building friendship that formed during their time in Hollow Cove disappears too, and the two wolves are back at the start. Quick glances to one another in passing, held breaths and swallowed back words.

And yet he finds himself, on a slower day, etching towards the barns that the Jones' made their own. Just a ghost in comparison to Blue River Ranch, yet the hearty warmth of their pack is evident throughout. He knows it's Tammie that he approaches from the way she sits against the fence, taking a break and glancing through the scenery. And he also knows what she thinks. She's thinking of home, the scrunch of her nose and frown on her face making Ryan fight a smirk. "You good?" he chirps once close enough, slowing a few paces from her and settling his expression. "That new wolf, whatever the fuck he called, he healed up?" The distance may feel further than ever but the issue with them has always been their familiarity, knowing one another a little too close for comfort. So, Ryan can no longer stave the smirk from appearing. "I wanted to come see if you're still pissed or if it was the wolfsbane makin' you a God damn nightmare."