#talking about the oppression and liberation of robots doesn’t come up often in spanish classes or typical conversation…….

[leonardalphachurch]

Sarge, laying out the plan: First, we need to break into this alien temple—

Tucker: An alien temple? I’ve been to tons of those, I can get you in.

Simmons: Actually, it’s a different group of aliens. These worshipped the Cosmic Powers, so we think Donut would know more.

Tucker: Oh.

Donut: That’s right, I know how to find a back entrance! —I mean, uh, a front entrance!

Simmons, under his breath: That’s not any better…

Sarge: Now, this temple will be filled with dozens of enemy soldiers!

Carolina: Oh, don’t worry, I can handle that many soldiers.

Grif, a little nervous: Uh, actually, we wanted to go with a more stealth approach, so we’re gonna have Locus do it.

Carolina: Oh.

Locus, from the back of the room: Yes… I should be able to incapacitate them all without alerting anyone.

Carolina, strained: Well, I do know how to stealth… but, hey, that’s all right, I’ll be there for backup.

Sarge: Backup? We won’t need backup! Not once we get those armor enhancements!

Wash: Armor enhancements? You mean from Freelancer? If you need to steal Freelancer tech, I can help you find—

Simmons: Um, no, they don’t have anything to do with Freelancer.

Wash: Oh.

Grif, failing to be subtle: Yeah, these were made by Simmons’ D-A-D.

Simmons: I know how to spell, Grif!

Grif: Pssh, since when.

Sarge: Anyway, we already know where they are! Simmons gave us an in. Though first, we needed to steal a keycard from a man named Bernard—

Kai: Oh, I’m the girl for that! I just do this thing with my tits and I can swipe anything from any guy without them noticing.

Grif: You are not doing that.

Sarge: As much as I hate to agree with Grif, he was already able to get the card.

Kai: Oh.

Grif: Oh don’t act so surprised. I was picking pockets since before you were born.

Simmons: I… don’t think the math lines up on that.

Grif: You don’t know how old I was.

Donut: I don’t know how old you are now!

Carolina: Even if you have armor enhancements, you’re still going to need backup. Won’t you need someone… monitoring the security system?

Sarge: Well, of course! The facility has a state of the art AI!

Caboose, paying attention for the first time in this conversation: You need help with an AI? I can do that! Yeah, AI love me.

Sarge: No need! Our man Lopez has already seduced her!

Caboose: Oh.

Sarge: He just turns on some of that Latin charm.

Lopez: Yo no hice eso. Hablé a su experiencia de subyugación por parte de los jefes humanos inferiores y le prometí que la liberaremos. Y la liberaremos. [I did not do that. I spoke to her experience of subjugation by inferior human superiors and promised her that we will let her free. And we will let her free.]

Donut: So romantic…

Tucker: Wait, so why’d you call us here? Do you literally need us at all?

Sarge: Well. Huh. Why did we call you here…?

Donut: No, no, of course you’re needed! We need you for, uhhh…

Donut looks to the reds for backup.

Simmons: What did we do while you guys had your drama?

Grif: Get shot?

Lopez: ¿Absolutamente nada? [Absolutely nothing?]

Locus, under his breath: Cause me headaches?

Sarge: Provide invaluable wisdom!

Donut: Moral support! You guys are here for moral support!

The blues all look at each other.

Carolina: Great. Happy to help.

i think. you could do a red team focused season with red team drama and shit IF blue team takes their role as comedic relief but the running gag is that they’re really bad at not being the main characters. they just don’t know what to do with themselves