#talk about abut split opinions

[paperstarry]

waiting for someone to write an analysis of Melinda Desmond based on the latest chapter bc I sure as hell do not know how to put all that into words

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

NSFW (whole alphabet) for Captain Rex? 🥺🥺

A/N: Hell yes! Sorry this took so long for me to get to. I love Rex so much, words cannot describe. I hope to do my favorite Captain justice. And as a reminder, REBLOG AND COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THIS!!! These take just as much time as drabbles and the tags hate me.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Can you say, soft? Because Rex is soft. He’ll do whatever you ask; run a bath, rub your sore muscles, hold you close, whatever you want.  He is the sweetest man after sex.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Rex honestly has a hard time picking his favorite part about you.  His first instinct is to say your legs, but then he thinks about it and say the part where your legs meet your back.  Actually, that whole area.  That, and above it...

For himself, Rex is actually really proud of his back.  You’ve playfully giving him a few wolf whistles when you’ve seen him doing pull ups without a shirt on.  He knows he’s strong and if the way your nails dig into his back when he takes you against a wall is any indication; you appreciate his strength too.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He always ends up leaving a mess whenever he cums.  From lack of experience, he hasn’t quite got the timing down on pulling out and so it often spills half inside you, some on your skin and some on the mattress.  There are times you wonder if he does it on purpose. There have been a few times he openly moaned at the sight of his cum dripping down your inner thigh.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He does cum in a mess on purpose. He apologizes every time and helps clean you up.  However, that doesn’t stop him from getting hard all over again at the sight of you blissed out of your mind and stained with his cum.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

We’re going to say none before you.  Like seriously.  I don’t know where is Dom-Captain Rex came from in the fandom, but that is not this man’s M.O.  His devotion is 110% to the GAR and we see how awkward he gets in social situations outside anything having to do with the army or his brothers.

So, yeah, Captain Rex is a virgin the first time you have sex.  You cannot convince me otherwise.  Luckily for you, he’s also a man who learns and adapts quickly. ;)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

You on your back with your legs draped over his arms as he pounds into you.  He gets a perfect view of everything; your bouncing tits, your eyes, the way his cock slides in and out of you, plus the option to grab hold of the headboards and really go to down.

A close second is pinning your back against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist. He loves the feeling of your nails down his back as he fucks up into you.  And gravity does the work for him when he pulls out and sees his cum going down your leg.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It takes him a while to loosen up in bed.  When you guys first start having sex it’s like he’s on a recon mission; what works, what doesn’t, testing his own endurance as well as yours, that kind of thing.  It’s only when he gets a full inventory on how to make you feel good as well as himself does he start cracking jokes. It’s not the norm, but it reaches about 30%.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn’t really do much down there until he meets you, besides keeping it clean.  After you guys start sleeping together, he starts to trim it down and experiment a bit.  He even shaved all the hair off at one point, but you assured him he didn’t need to.

Also, he had dark hair down there.  No, he is not bleaching his pubic hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Rex is focused on you the entire time.  He wants you to know he’s paying attention to you and listening to your wants and needs.  It’s more a sliding scale of how emotional it can get, often depending on how much of his own emotion and tension he’s keeping bottled up.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He’s done it plenty of times before he met you and continues to do it after you get together; his fantasies now just focus on you and you exclusively. Privacy is an issue in the GAR so often he has to wait late at night to get the showers to himself.  However, he prefers it when he gets a chance to take the time alone in his own bed. It’s really the best way he knows to fully relax without you there beside him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Rex is still exploring his kinks, but he’s finding he gets a certain thrill out of cum play.  Eating you out with his cum still in your pussy is not something he’d ever thought he’d enjoy until one night he couldn’t help himself and ended up cumming on the mattress while you came again on his tongue.

And, I’m just going to put this headcanon to bed. CAPTAIN REX IS NOT A DOM, HE IS A SWITCH!!!

Yes, he likes it when you call him Captain or Sir in bed.  Yes, he likes giving you orders and having you obey them to the letter.  But if you’re telling me he doesn’t get off to the idea of you riding his face and using his body in any way you choose to find your own pleasure; then you and I are not talking abut the same character.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your apartment  Like I said, privacy is an issue on more GAR ships. The Clones have quarters on Coruscant, but it lacks the personality of your place, not to mention you have thicker walls.  It also means he’s off duty and doesn’t have to be worried of being call to the bridge at any given moment.  He can fully relax and focus on you and himself.

Now when it comes to where in your apartment, literally anywhere to a flat surface. He’s not picky.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You calling him “sir” or “captian” in public.  To give him some credit, it’s not only the words, so much as how you say them.  If you say, “yes, sir” like you’re out of breath or worse, if you look up at him through heavy eyelids, he’s going to need a minute to straighten himself out.

There’s also this spot just on the edge of his hairline on his neck that melts him.  All you have to do is brush that spot with your finger or your lips and he’s going to groan.

And cliche, but I have to say it; any time he sees you kick droid ass or even just verbally destroy somebody in a debate.  Your his cyar’ika and he’s going to let you do whatever you want to him that night.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Water play.  He found it by accident when researching different stuff to try.  He thought it would be like shower sex and it’s...not.  The moment he realized what it was he was disgusted and told you immediately that was going on the “no” list.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Split 50/50 between preferring to give or receive. God knows how many times he’s gotten himself off to the image of your lips wrapped around his cock.  He loves how your fingers dig into his thighs as you take him all the way into your mouth.  And seeing cum drip down your lip is enough to get him hard again in seconds.

On the other hand having your perfect thighs wrapped around his head as you fuck is face is as close to heaven as he can imagine. He can stay inbetween your legs for hours reveling in your taste and the way your tremble around him every time he makes you cum. His current record is making you cum three times in the row with just his tongue and fingers before you pushed him away just so you could breath.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He can do either or, but he leans more on the rough side. No matter how slow he might start, by the end he’s gripping your thighs like a vice and pounding into your cunt as he loses all sense of control.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Only if he knows he’ll get to have you all to himself later that night.  He thinks of quickies as just a preview of what’s the come, rather than a done deal. 

That all being said, he’s not keen on them.  For one, he doesn’t want to risk getting caught. Two, he would never, ever, have a quickie while on duty.  Which leads to three, if he’s already off duty he might as well take you to bed right now.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Like I’ve said, Rex lacks a lot of experience, but he’s adaptable and a fast learner. You guys have a list of different things you want to try and are slowly working your way down, checking what you like and crossing out ones you don’t.

The only thing he won’t risk is getting caught in the act.  For one, he would never hear the end of it from the rest of the 501st.  And second, he thinks it would reflex negatively, not only on himself as a solider but on the rest of the GAR.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As a genetically enhanced soldier, his stamina is insane. Granted, it takes him a while to hold off his own orgasm the first few times you have sex.  But, his recovery time is amazing.

He’s good for about three rounds on an average night and once he gets the hang of things, he can make those three rounds last hours.

Your current record is him cumming five times in one night while you lost count once you reached the double digits.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Captain Rex would not be caught dead having any toys with him.  Not in his bunk, not in his apartment on Coruscant, not anywhere.  He cannot imagine how he’d explain that to anyone if they found out.

However, you have a perfectly nice little collection at your apartment.  You guys have been experimenting.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He tries, but he’s not good at it. When he gets into his, “Captain” mode, he does like the idea of keeping you on the edge, but it never lasts.  As soon as you buck your lips and the first little, “please” leaves your lips, he’s done. He has to give you everything.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not quiet, but he’s not going to scare the neighbors.  He’s a talker, surprisingly.  It’s like whatever filter he has as a commander just slips away the moment he buries himself inside you. He praises how you feel.  He mumbles curses and promises until they turn into delirious grunts and groans just before he cums.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Everyone in the 501st knows you guys are fucking the moment you start, even if Rex never tells anyone anything.  He is terrible at hiding his feelings toward you.  Add that to the fact both Fives and Jesse noticed the not so subtle hickies all over his body, and it’s not hard to guess where he got them from.

Rex denies it whenever it’s brought up, but everyone knows the truth.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again; EVERY SINGLE CLONE IS HUNG WITH A THICK EIGHT INCH DICK! And since all of them don’t really have a frame of reference as to what’s “big” or not, they all assume they’re average size (at least until they get someone in bed).

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not crazy high, but after he meets you it’s like his sex drive just triggered into over drive. It could also be because you guys are apart so often.  But, either way you’re having sex almost every night you’re together.  Maybe after the war things will calm down, but not before then.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Almost as soon as you guys finally decide to call it a night.  He’s fallen asleep a few times while in the bathtub with you, is all I’m saying.

[nickireadstfc]

The Raven King, Chapter 10 – Really Just A Whole Lot Of Dialogue (or: the Thanksgiving Prelude)

In which we finally get the Beautiful Murderous Snowflake content we deserve, the canonical gayness picks up speed, past predictions are confirmed, future ones are wildly formed and Neil discovers his new Powers of Persuasion.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

Hold yourselves – it’s not time for the epic Thanksgiving shenanigans y’all have been warning me about yet. Instead, we get a nice lil in-between chapter which really just consists of Neil talking to people.

Seriously. There is so much talking. This chapter is like 80% pure dialogue.

However, I am not minding one bit because –

MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED.

THE RENEE CONTENT IS HERE.

Side note: I read this on the way to a convention while literally dressed as Renee. It was very, very surreal.

           “Last year Andrew took a few of us out to Eden’s Twilight one at a time,” Renee said. “You now know why Andrew invited Matt. He invited Dan to see if she was a woman worth following on the court. He asked me because he, like you, didn’t buy into this front.” She gestured at her face and rested her fingertips on her cross necklace. “He wanted the truth, so I told him.”

Oh, boy.

Oh, BOY.

Remember how I kept calling her my murderous snowflake earlier on?

Yeah. ABOUT THAT.

Apparently, Murderous Snowflake was in some pretty deep shit in a gang in Detroit – and we’re not talking the cute, ‘maybe we’ll spray a graffiti here or there’, squad-type gang, but the violent, ‘each of us owns a private collection of butterfly knives’, ‘they’re pretty sweet actually’, ‘also we’ll kill your family and your dog’, ‘with our butterfly knives’-type.

Fortunately for her, she got caught, had a nice lil time in juvie and was then adopted by Actual Angel Mom Stephanie Walker, despite the fact that her rebellious ass has tortured over a dozen foster people before her.

Also she’s responsible for the death of her mom and her boyfriend by putting them in jail where they were beaten to death.

Oh, what’s that? Oh, guys, this just in: I FREAKIN CALLED IT.

I AM AWESOME AT PREDICTING ALL THE THINGS.

Renee Walker, everybody - Murderous Snowflake, Cute But Deadly, Deliverer of Punches, Baker of Cookies, Owner of My Fucking Heart.

           Renee hadn’t exaggerated when she said she and Andrew were a lot alike. They had violent, unstable upbringings thanks to their mothers and spent time in both juvie and the foster system. Their paths split irrevocably after their respective adoptions. Renee let Stephanie shape her into a decent human being and atones for her past brutality whereas Andrew murdered his mother the first chance he got.

Ahh, it’s been way too long without any character parallels for me to cry over. <3

WHY ARE THE GOALIE BFFS THE BEST PLATONIC SHIP IN THIS ENTIRE SERIES MY HEART CAN’T HANDLE THIS.

Speaking of shipping!

My boy Neil apparently hasn’t gotten the ‘platonic’ memo yet.

           “Why haven’t you asked him out?” (…)

           “What is all this about, if you don’t mind me asking?” she asked. “You’ve never seemed interested before.”

Why do I have a hunch Renee will fucking captain the Andreil ship.

Anyone fancy some spontaneous Fox Feels™ in between?

           Neil grasped for a good way to explain. He didn’t want to tell her he’d spent Friday night thinking about dying. He hadn’t wanted to think about a future he didn’t have, so he stood at the railing and thought about his teammates instead. (…)

           They’d never be perfect, but they were going to be all right. They’d come to the Foxhole Court as fractured messes but they were fixing each other one semester at a time.

And if you look to your right, you’ll see me crying in a fucking corner.

I love :’( my fox babies :( so much :’(( what the fc u k k kkkkkk !!!!!!

I’ve just spent all weekend with a beautiful Andrew and Neil, my emotional ass is fresh out of feels hell and this has dragged me right the fuck back in.

           “If you can say ‘no’ so easily to me, why haven’t you set anyone else straight yet?”

           “It’s complicated,” Renee said, “and we profit more from silence.”

Apparently, the Goalie BFFs are also the Scamming BFFs as they cash in on bets made on them with Allison’s help.

You guys have no idea how much this amuses me.

It’s scamming for a good cause, in Renee’s case. Still. What a bunch of lil savvy shits <3

And then – this.

           “When I said I wasn’t Andrew’s type, I meant it. It’s not about my looks or faith. It’s that I’m a woman.”

I would have a really sweet surprised freakout over this, except for the fact that Andreil being endgame was the only fucking thing I knew about this series before starting it.

So I’m not exactly off my socks about this dramatic revelation.

Still – HELLO, MORE CANON GAY CHARACTERS. <3

           “Oh. Then Andrew and Kevin – “

           Renee laughed and waved that off. “Oh, no. You’ll meet Kevin’s girlfriend later this year, I’m sure.”

Aww. So glad to hear he and Exy made it official <3

No but for real. Kevin has a GIRLFRIEND?!?!?!?!

           “Kevin doesn’t have a girlfriend. He’s under too much scrutiny from the press and his fans to hide that sort of thing.”

And he’s also probably got an Exy ball where his romantic heart is supposed to be.

Funnily enough, my suggestions of Orange Sportsball being Kevin’s girlfriend turn out to be not that far off – he’s dating Thea Muldani, an Ex-raven who is now playing on the national Court.

I’m sure she’ll appear at some point later. I don’t actually care much about this as of yet. Next!

          He didn’t know what [Renee] and Andrew talked abut when they stood off by themselves. Thinking it was Exy strategies was laughable. Imaginig them having a serious conversation about Andrew’s closeted sexuality was equally impossible.

They talk about boys, knives, the hottest new all-black clothes and how best to scam their teammates. Duh.

Also headcanon that Andrew is the one who re-dyes Renee’s hair when her roots start to show up. Don’t question it. Just imagine it.

          “If you are as like us as we first predicted you to be, perhaps one day you can also come to see me as a friend. (…) Andrew understands me, and I him. It’s comforting knowing someone else has been where we once were. If either Andrew or I can help you, please know we are here.”

Did I mention I love Renee a heckin’ hell of a lot recently??

Did I??

DID I???????

          “Maybe now that I’ve sated your curiosity you can help me. I need a boy’s opinion on gifts for Aaron and Andrew. For their birthday – (…) they didn’t celebrate it last year, and Nicky says they haven’t celebrated it since they moved in together, but hopefully this one is different.”

TWINYARDS BIRTHDAY HECK YEAH.

I wanna know what mystery gifts Renee got them. I need to know.

Also, I hope they’re throwing them a surprise party. I can see entirely no way this can go wrong in the slightest. Oh well.

However, it’s not birthday time yet – and it’s also not Thanksgiving time yet, which a lot of you have been warning me about.

(Seriously. Y’all are MENTAL over it. What the fuck is happening on Thanksgiving. It can’t be that bad.)

(I have a feeling I’ll be eating my words in a few days’ time).

First, it’s time for – you guessed it – even more dialogue!

          “I’m two seconds away from being dead,” Nicky said. “Mom just called to wish Andrew and Aaron a happy birthday.”

Considering the fact that Nicky’s parents are Prime Grade A Assholes, this is not exactly peachy news.

          “Why did she call, really?” Neil asked.

          “To invite us home for Thanksgiving dinner.”

Whomp – there it is.

Seriously. What will happen. I’m so intrigued.

          “If I go to Andrew with this, he’ll either laugh me off or pretend he doesn’t hear me. But he listens to you, right?”

Hell yeah he does.

Neil, you are gifted with the mythical powers of Talking Andrew Into Anything. You have Persuasion Powers, Neil. Use your powers for good, Neil. Become to hero Palmetto deserves, Neil. NEIL.

          “I know they think I’m a heathen doomed to burn for eternity, and I know I should give up on them, but I can’t. Maybe this call means they’re coming around. I have to know. Please, Neil? I want my mom back. I miss her more than you know.”

NICKY :’(((((((((((((((((( <3333

I’ll be your mom okay, I’ll cuddle you always, I’ll make you pasta and your bedtime is never.

Of course, even Neil can’t resist our chatty sunshine hurting like this, and so he goes over to the murder kitten for some Fun Andreil Persuasion Talk Times.

          “Today’s not a good day,” Andrew said. “Try again tomorrow.”

          “I wouldn’t crash your birthday party if it wasn’t important.”

          Andrew grinned. “Sarcasm from Neil? Your repertoire of talents is ever-expanding.”

Bitch, were you not there in the two (2) chapters where Neil absolutely dragged and sarcasm-WRECKED Riko Raven-Fucker? Seriously, how is this news to you.

          “Tick tock,” Andrew said. “You have my attention, now keep my interest.”

          “Nicky’s mother called.”

          “Oops, time’s up.”

BAHAHAHAHA.

No, you actually have no idea how hard I laughed at that part.

Tagged: Me dealing with my problems like.

However, Andrew does start talking sense after a few rounds of distracted bantering, and suddenly Fun Andreil Persuasion Times turns into Fun Andrew Story Times:

          “She was not my mother. (…) Cass, though. Cass? Cass would have been.”

So apparently, this woman called Cass Spear wanted to adopt Andrew – and yup, that’s the wife of the guy Higgins is investigating right now, which is of course not worrying at all.

This also means Drake apparently isn’t a surname. This just got even more interesting. WHO THE HELL IS DRAKE.

Not you, Drake.

Anyways, said Cass wanted to adopt Andrew, wanted to care for him and give him a good future, all that jazz. And Luther (aka Nicky’s asshole dad) was totally fine with it – except apparently Andrew wasn’t.

Yet he said both Cass and Richard never did anything bad to him – which brings me back to who the fuck is Drake, because the obvious answer now is that this Drake person did something to him.

And whatever fuckery happened, Andrew told Luther – who flat out did not believe him and called it a ”misunderstanding”, hence Andrew’s dislike for that word. Cool, cool cool, cool shit, what is h a p p e n i n g.

          “So did Luther not believe you or did he say you were wrong?” Neil asked. “There is a significant difference between the two.”

          “Oh.” Andrew half-turned to face him again. “Sometimes I forget you are sharper than you look.”

Ya boy Neil gets it. I don’t know why, but I loved this little exchange a lot. It just?? They begin to understand each other?? Also Andrew doesn’t think Neil is a complete idiot?? Good shit.

And now I begin to see why y’all may like the Thanksgiving chapter so much:

          “Maybe he’s sorry.”

          “You say that because you haven’t met Luther,” Andrew said.

          “Can I?”

What.

          “It could be entertaining,” Neil said.

          “It could be,” Andrew allowed.

          “Let’s all go. (…) Imagine how uncomfortable Nicky’s parents will be if they have to contend with the five of us.”

Oh SHIT. This will be fun. This will be very, very fucking fun.

And just like this, Andrew agrees to Thanksgiving dinner with the Asshole Christians - if they don’t do it on Thanksgiving directly and if his monster squad can tag along. I am suddenly even more for this next chapter than I already was.

Neil, realizing his opportunity of having turned Fun Andreil Persuasion Times into Fun Andreil Honesty Times, can’t help but dash out another tricky question while he’s at it:

          “Did you really kill Aaron’s mother?” (…)

          “Guess she hit him one time too many. I warned her not to lay a hand on him, but she didn’t listen to me.”

I can’t say I’m surprised, but still – Andrew, what the frickely FUCK.

          “My first memories are of people dying,” Neil said. “I’m not afraid of you.”

          “That’s why you’re so interesting,” Andrew said. “How aggravating.”

          He sounded amused, not annoyed, so Neil said, “I’ll try to be more boring in the future.”

          “How considerate.”

Is this…….. Andreil banter……….. that I’m witnessing………. With my own two eyeballs………

AMAZING.

And with that, the conversation is over, and the chapter almost is as well – except, obviously my baby Nicky is over the fucking moon.

          He yanked Neil into a fierce hug before Neil thought to dodge. “Oh, you might just be the best thing to happen to the Foxes.”

          “I doubt that.”

          “I don’t.”

ME NEITHER MY DUDE. <33333333333

Also, that was probably the first time anyone hugged Neil since his mother died. And that’s the thought I’m leaving y’all with today.

If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing, please consider buying me a coffee! Thank you so much <3

[empty-church]

Review of Eaton's "12 Reasons Millennials Are Over Church"

About a month ago a friend of mine asked me to give him my opinion about a blog post entitled "12 Reasons Millennials Are OVER Church" by Sam Eaton (The headings 1-12 in quotes are quotes of his 12 reasons with my commentary appearing under). I read over it quickly and decided either I could give him a quick answer or sometimes actually take the time to review it for him. Well, I put it off until I all but forgot to get back to him so I decided to write him a whole blog post about what I think of it. Here is my response and review:

First of all, I HATE being called a millennial. I’d rather be called Generation Y which isn’t a real thing (I would call it from 1982-1996). I’ve talked to some people older than me who feel the same way, so I feel like we unofficially opt-in to a different group together.

Whether or not someone agrees with the 12 reasons, one must applaud Mr. Eaton for actually proposing solutions (though some of them are a little weak). I have read too many “____ are leaving the church” blogs that are more about blame than actually working together. 

 1) “Nobody’s Listening to Us”

I think that this is a sentiment that most generations share: that the other generations don’t care to listen. Now, generally speaking, he’s not wrong. Age groups tend to think the ones above and below them don’t understand. I think we need to stop saying that no one is listening and just get together and have conversations. If nothing happens after that, then maybe someone isn’t listening, but I think everyone is guilty of wanting to be heard but not wanting to listen. The same with hiring a pastor who can connect with millennials, it feels like a way for old school pastors to not have to listen to the younger generation. Almost like what happens with youth or children when we put them in a corner somewhere with a “babysitter” so we don't have to deal with them. As people, we certainly connect easier with certain types of people, but for someone to say I can’t (or won’t) work with ____ is to be ignorant. 

If Peter or Paul had ignored the gentiles you wouldn’t have the privilege of being able to select who you are “called” to. Jesus himself said that he was called to the children of Israel but still healed and attended to outsiders. 

If you want a young adults pastor just so you don’t have to interact with them, then you might want to check your heart, but that’s me trying to take your speck out I suppose. 

2) “We’re Sick of Hearing About Values and Mission Statements”

I second this! Some of them are pretty catchy, but I echo his echo that we already have a Biblical command to love God and love people with a mission to make disciples. Churches do get pretty wrapped up in statements to the point where they forget to make a plan on how to enact it. 

I do want to stress the importance of an organization to have a mission and vision. Here at Empty Church, we talk about the 6 days between Sundays with the church buildings are empty. What's that mean? As an organization, we have to help equip people to have faith 7 days a week rather than 1. I personally believe that ties in perfectly with the greatest commandment and the great commission. Our statement came out of what we started Empty Church for: faith being built through conversation. All our online content it meant to help people have a starting point for such conversations. 

3) “Helping the Poor Isn’t a Priority"

I'm not sure when the church started to forget this. It might have been when Republican became synonymous with Christian. It might be that the churches actually helping the poor don’t get PR so we don't know that they are doing it. 

I think he hit the nail on the head with this one. There is a love component that seems to be missing without service to the poor. The EC Crew definitely feels that we must serve outside of our organization to help others. 

I like his solutions of asking the people in the church about needs of people they know as well as being intentional abut setting up times to help out. Careful, though, that the “I served for this month” attitude does not arise, but cultivate an “anywhere anytime” culture that looks more like the good samaritan story. 

4) ”We’re Tired of You Blaming the Culture”

I do think the church does a lot of blaming. The problem is we pick and choose things from the culture deeming them either good or bad and we are too afraid to be rejected based on a Godly culture. We want acceptance and affirmation way too badly ( I am SUPER guilty of this). So we blame the world’s culture for the things we don't like and appropriate the “okay” things. Problem is, everyone has their own idea of what is okay since we aren’t looking to God for our morality.

He said to stop talking about the end times or at least in regards to, “how bad culture is” and I am half and half on this one. If he means we need to stop over reacting saying that the end is near only because the world looks like the world, then I agree. BUT we cannot stop talking about Jesus returning.

5) “The “You Can’t Sit With Us” Affect”

I agree with this. Some churches even have unofficial assigned seating. Here's my take on the whole thing: Humans naturally form groups with people we connect with. One of his solutions is to create authentic communities centered around service. 1) that is easier said than done. 2) communities have sub-groups which either count as a clique or eventually become one. Once a group starts to grow new smaller groups tend to emerge as well. 

At college I watched groups form, grow, explode, and merge. I saw how groups can look more like a molecule where some groups share common members but are not one large group but two groups linked. How is that a molecule? The molecule is the school community. All of the interconnected but distinct sub-groups of the school are the atoms. 

Am I defending “cliques?” No. that word carries a negative connotation of exclusivity which the author indicates by his likening church to Mean Girls. I completely agree. Churches often are a molecule with no available connections left and we turn people away. We must be intentional about not becoming so closed off that someone seeking to be a part of the faith community is not allowed. Sometimes they are turned away only because they are not wearing pink on Wednesday. Sometimes people visit a church gathering and realize that, although everyone is close and loving, they would never be included. (Side note: as I write this I see pictures on social media of some party where it looks like everyone was included except me. It feels like I am no longer their friend. People naturally cut off old connections to make room for new ones. But a loss of friendship is still a loss and it hurts.)

6) “Distrust and Misallocation of Resources” 

I hear the heart of this one. I have seen money wars in churches and how it can destroy. I do believe churches need to be more thoughtful on how they spend money, especially in the coming years (as I believe there will be less exemptions from the government). But I don't know if people need to know where every cent goes. That sentiment sounds like a control and trust issue to me. Why are churches the only organization that we want to see every cent? People donate to causes all the time that have HUGE overhead, but in the church world, we’ll pull our tithe if we thought money should have been spent on children rather than the homeless. 

Sure churches to use money for “better things.” But that is a slippery slope. Why? There is always something else we could be spending money on. Always. Oh, your church doesn’t have a huge mortgage? How much does it cost in upkeep? Couldn’t that money be spent better elsewhere? What about the people on payroll? Shouldn’t they donate their time and talent? What keeps the church from taking every cent they receive and giving it away? Isn’t that the ultimate end in this line of thinking? 

People expect the church to put money wherever they think the money should go and then under the guise of “transparency” complain when they money is spent elsewhere. Look it is true that churches buy some extravagant things that make us question if they money is being spent in the best ways, but money always makes people itchy. Churches split over which color carpet to buy, I’m not sure if the solution is a line item list where people can see when gram crackers were bought for a snack for kids (remember that money could have been used for the homeless). Before we say that our use of funds is the most correct we must have some empathy to see why someone else would want the money used for their cause - if we truly believe in our cause then money we personally should give to it rather than expecting the church to do it for us.

7) “We Want to Be Mentored, Not Preached At”

Empty Church certainly values mentoring and discipleship. Josh wrote a bunch of blogs about mentoring. Although I personally don’t have an “official” mentor, I definitely see Josh as a mentor as well as my friend. 

Empty Church strives to have a dialogue and not merely a monologue, which is why we have a time of discussion after the sermon every Sunday. We are trying to have something more than being preached at but a full exchange of ideas. I see the dialogue as a time for mentorship/ discipleship within the group but is not the traditional sense of a mentor.

8) “We Want to Feel Valued”

Everyone wants to feel valued. That’s a fact. I understand what the author is getting at as he describes churches that merely want millennials to be warm bodies to serve rather than interacting members of the group. 

I’ve been asked why we started a church rather than joining an already existing one and I think some of the answer comes from the fact that I don't think anyone would have let us try what we are doing.

The trust and exchange of ideas and methodologies between the generations is pretty piss-poor. Older people don’t want to try what the younger people think of and the younger people don’t think there is anything valuable from the older methods. Both thought processes are wrong. There needs to be a meeting of ideas. But both groups have to value each other first. 

9) “We Want You to Talk to Us About Controversial Issues (Because No One Is)”

This one is a good one. The church is famous for ignoring taboo things and then people learn about it from other sources. Example: children encounter porn and sexualized everything everywhere, way after children are over exposed or even addicted then we say “this is all bad” and it's too late. The author says that he does not expect a sex series, but I question why not? The vast majority of families see movies with sexual innuendos if not implied sex in them but the pastor cannot preach on biblical sex? Some would argue that that's for the parents to do when the time comes, but let's be realistic, most never cover it. Maybe I just don't know since I don't have kids, but even the earliest you could ever talk to them about it, they have already been exposed to it. Let’s stop the silence.

The same goes for now. There isn’t a dialogue going on about anything. Just unwritten rules about all kinds of things. Many people don't believe that science and religion and ever been compatible and then we wonder why one of the most scientifically informed generations no longer goes to church. 

10) “The Public Perception”

This one is a no-brainer. People do not trust churches anymore. People see churches more as greedy entities rather than the generous, loving, and serving groups that they should be. Public perception is that Christians are hypocrites. That hurts me. They can call us fools. That's fine with me. But we should be fools to the point that we follow the foolishness. Not fools who don't even believe their own foolishness. 

11) “Stop Talking About Us (Unless You’re Actually Going to Do Something)”

"If you want the respect of our generation, under-promise and over-deliver."  -- Sam Eaton

I read articles all the time about how crappy millennials are. I read articles all the time about how millennials are leaving the church. I read many articles that voice complaints about millennials. I love that they author issues a challenge for people to actually do something rather than just talking. 

12) You’re Failing to Adapt

I like his appeal to try new things and to take risks. It makes me think of the Magic School bus quote about taking risks, make mistakes, and get messy. 

Conclusion:

I see a lot of blame from both sides. Even this article seems to blame the older generation for not acknowledging millennials. There is many “we’s” and “you’s” - showing a divide. 

I feel as if the article as a whole is the same old story of two generations not understanding each other. It shows how we need more communication and less blame. The only problem is that people do not want to listen but want to be right. Until we have a dialogue, each generation will continue to not to understand each other.

About the Author | Sean Kready Twitter – Facebook – Instagram – Snapchat An imperfect Christian, who sins on the daily, but tries to share his journey so that we all might know God better. This is our offering. An act of worship. Please remember our Rules For Discussion when commenting.

From Pew to Pulpit Critiquing the church-going experience. Why? Because we love the Church and we are trying to figure it our for ourselves.

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