#taken x SVU

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

I don’t play fair darling (1)

AN: The plot bunny strikes again!

Warnings: mentions of manipulation, mention of divorce, mentions of dark Bryan Mills and cursing.

“You had better hope that your friend remembers enough of her past to be able to keep Bryan Mills away from you.”

Sergeant Olivia Benson stared down the Interpol agent. In her opinion, Jim Sterling was a master manipulator and she regretted that their paths had ever crossed. Strangely though, the man appeared to harbour a degree of affection for you if the worried lines on his face were anything to go by.

“How the hell did we attract his attention?” Sonny inquired.

“More importantly,” Rafael added. “How can we refocus his attention so that he’s not targeting us or (Name)?”

Sterling dragged a hand down his face, “This isn’t a court room and you can’t treat this situation as if you’re in one. Bryan Mills isn’t the type of man who can be distracted. Even if you had the power to move heaven and earth, it wouldn’t slow him down.”

“There has to be something that we can do!” Olivia exploded. “Our friend is out there alone with an ex CIA and special forces agent on her tail.”

The British man closed his eyes, “Both of them have gone so far underground that the only way we’ll see or hear anything is if they purposely poke their heads up. I don’t have much faith that they’ll do that; they are too well trained.”

“How the hell did we attract his attention?” Sonny repeated his question with a forceful tone.

“He’s been watching you ever since you put Nevada Ramirez away.”

“And you’ve known for how long?”

“Don’t put this on me!” Sterling snarled. “Your best lead would be to interrogate Buchanan. He was Ramirez’s lawyer.”

Rafael snorted disbelievingly, “That’s your advice?!” He scoffed, “Buchanan won’t reveal anything. He’ll claim client confidentiality and by the time we get a court order, (Name) could be in even more danger because Bryan’s caught up to her and there’s no way we’d know.”

“Then I’d suggest working on that court order now,” Sterling snapped.

Olivia’s brown gaze met Rafael’s green one and the ADA left the office, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he went.

“Time for me to go.” The Interpol agent stated and he made to leave the office.

“Be honest. How much danger is (Name) in?”

Sterling paused with his hand on the doorknob, “She’s in quite a bit of danger, even with her particular set of skills.” He admitted quietly. “Mills hasn’t been the same since he and his wife divorced and she took his daughter to the other side of the world.”

[userbarson]

[fatecantstopme]

I Can't Walk Away

Pairing: Nick Amaro x plus size!reader

Summary: When you and your boyfriend break up, you're faced with the seemingly impossible task of putting yourself back together. Luckily for you, your very handsome coworker is more than happy to help along the way.

Warnings: Body image issues, low self-esteem, mentions of toxic/abusive relationships, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, light dom/sub vibes, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V).

A/N: This was entirely self-indulgent and I have no regrets.

Spanish Translations:

Querida: sweetheart/darling

Hermosa: beautiful

Mierda: shit

Por favor: please

Si: yes

All other translations will be after the sentence in brackets/italics.

You dropped onto Olivia's couch with a huff, tears still threatening to break through your stubborn facade.

"Are we gonna talk about it or do I need to have someone beat him up?" Liv asked you, a small smirk gracing her face.

"As much as I'd love to see his ass get handed to him, I think we should avoid committing any crimes," you said lightly.

Olivia sighed softly and reached over to put her arm around you. You leaned into her shoulder and began to let your guard drop. Olivia had been your best friend for over a decade now, your time working together in SVU having brought you closer than you could have imagined.

"He was an asshole, (Y/N/N)," she said softly. "You deserve better."

"You say that, but I guess I just don't believe it," you muttered.

It nearly broke her heart to hear you speak so negatively of yourself, but she knew no matter how many uplifting words she spoke, you would still refuse to believe her.

"Maybe there's something wrong with me," you whispered, tears finally beginning to fall. "Maybe I'm broken--unloveable."

"Hey," she chided. "You are so many things, (Y/N), but broken and unloveable are not among them."

She tightened her grip on you, pulling you into a proper side hug. She let you cry into her shoulder, her own heart breaking along with yours.

You knew, objectively, she was right--your now-ex was indeed an asshole. He'd never treated you well and had often put you down and made you feel terrible about yourself. Your self-esteem had been lower than usual when you met him and in the 6 months you'd been together, he'd managed to destroy whatever vestige of self-love you had left.

There wasn't a single thing about you he didn't belittle. Whether it was your physical appearance, your career, your hobbies, your dreams...he made you feel like everything you ever did was a mistake. In his estimation, you were too fat, unintelligent, boring...and your choice in career was just about the worst thing you could do.

You'd made it your mission in life to help the victims of particularly heinous crimes, which is why you'd been working at SVU for almost 12 years. You were the squad's forensic psychologist, and you loved your work. In many respects, it was the one thing that really brought joy to your life. It was your greatest passion--and the amount of time you spent at work certainly showed it.

Yet during those 6 months with him...your love for the job had begun to wane. Every time you'd stay late or have to cancel a date, he'd berate you for it--mocking your job and your inability to 'be a real person'. Now that you'd finally taken the leap and broken up with him, you were hopeful you could fall back in love with your work.

In this moment, however, all you could think about were the horrible things he'd said to you when you told him you wanted to break up. He'd been especially cruel, calling out every physical insecurity you had and making you feel like an absolute pile of human garbage. He'd called you fat, ugly, unloveable, gross...and a million other things you couldn't bear to repeat.

You weren't thin--you knew that, but you weren't gross. That was just offensive. Unfortunately, he wasn't the first ex to make comments about your weight--something you'd been struggling with for most of your adult life. The words had hit you harder than you'd expected, making you actually think he might be right...maybe you were the problem.

Olivia's voice broke you out of your thoughts, "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

You just nodded, not trusting your voice to answer her properly.

She squeezed you a little tighter, her reassuring presence grounding you in ways you desperately needed. You were always thankful for her friendship, but it was moments like this where you were reminded how much she really meant to you.

**********

You'd spent most of the weekend at Olivia's and by the time Monday rolled around, you were feeling a little bit better. She always knew what to do and say to make everything okay. It was a gift you'd always envied and appreciated.

It was very typical of you to be the first person in the office, having been an early riser most of your life. So you were more than a little surprised when you walked into the precinct Monday morning and spotted Nick Amaro sitting at his desk.

"You're in early," you commented lightly in lieu of greeting.

He turned his gaze to look over at you and shot you a disarming smile. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I might as well get a head start on some paperwork I've been putting off."

"Wise man. Wouldn't want to upset the boss."

He grinned. "She's strict." His voice was teasing and warm and it made you feel something in your gut you always tried to ignore.

In truth, you were extremely attracted to Nick--it was undeniable. You had not, nor would you ever, tell him or act on it. Nick was so far out of your league it wasn't even funny. Besides, he was newly single, still fresh from his divorce.

"She can be calmed with good coffee and blueberry muffins," you said conspiratorially.

Nick chuckled. "I'm gonna have to write that down."

You offered him a smile before continuing past him to your office. You were surprised when his voice stopped you after a few steps.

"How was your weekend?"

You turned back to face him. "Friday was absolute shit," you said honestly. "But I spent Saturday and part of yesterday with Liv, so it's better now."

A look of concern crossed his face. "Everything okay?"

You feigned a smile. "Everything's fine. Thanks for asking."

His eyes narrowed as he gazed at you skeptically. "Is it that guy again?"

Your cheeks darkened, embarrassed Nick even knew about your ex. "We broke up."

Nick almost looked relieved. "I would say sorry, but it wouldn't be honest. I never liked the guy--he didn't treat you right."

You were surprised he paid enough attention to the things you said to know just how badly your ex had treated you. "Oh?"

Nick stood up and took a couple steps closer to you. He was still a professional distance away, but he could speak quieter so only you could hear him.

"You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You're an amazing woman, (Y/N), and a good man would never treat you the way he did. He clearly didn't recognize your worth."

His words slammed into you with surprising force. "I-um-thank you," you muttered softly.

"You can thank me by dating a man who will love you the way you deserve," he said lowly. "Como una reina." [Like a queen.]

His last three words were so quiet you weren't even sure you'd heard him properly--or if you were supposed to hear them at all. You weren't fluent in Spanish by any means, but you understood the basics...enough to know he'd said something about a queen. That is, if you heard him correctly.

You were about to ask him to elaborate when Olivia came into the squad room. She sent a warm smile your way and issued greetings to both you and Nick. Her arrival broke whatever spell Nick had been under, and he went back to his desk quietly.

You went into your office, leaving the door open behind you so you could hear the goings on and the arrival of the rest of the squad. There were plenty of things for you to do, but you couldn't get Nick's words out of your head.

**********

Olivia looked up from her computer when Nick knocked on the doorframe entering her office.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

He came in and quietly shut the door behind him.

"Uh-oh...closed door conversation? Everything okay?"

"With me, yes," he answered. "But I wanted to ask you something and I don't want anyone overhearing."

"Okay..."

"It's about (Y/N)."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "What about her?"

"She mentioned she'd spent the weekend with you and she and that asshole broke up."

Olivia chuckled softly, glad to hear she wasn't the only one who hated your ex.

"I know it's not really my business, but I can tell something is really upsetting her. Hell, I've noticed a change in her since the moment they started dating--and not in a good way."

"He isn't a good person," Olivia conceded.

"Tell me about it," Nick muttered. "Anyway, I just--well, I just want to know if she's okay? I mean, really okay."

"Why don't you ask her?"

"I did, but I know she wasn't being honest with me."

Olivia sighed. She had a feeling he was asking about you for a reason, but she wasn't sure it was her place to tell him the truth. She was torn between being honest with her partner and keeping her best friend's pain to herself.

"I don't know if it's my place to tell you, but he did say some particularly cruel things about her when she broke up with him."

Nick's eyes narrowed and Olivia could see the anger flare in them. "What did he say to her?" Even his voice was laced with fury--the mere idea someone would hurt you sent him off the edge.

"I can't tell you," Olivia answered. "But if you really want to know, then I think you should talk to her. She trusts you, so she may open up to you."

Nick nodded, anger still boiling beneath the surface. "You're right--I didn't mean to intrude or anything."

Olivia shook her head. "It's alright. I know you care about her...I guess I'm just a little surprised by your anger."

He winced slightly, feeling embarrassed for his display of emotion. "I don't like the idea of some guy making her feel like shit."

"Neither do I," she said honestly. "I am curious though...what made you ask about her?"

"Wha-what do you mean?"

Olivia smiled slowly. "I mean, why do you want to know badly enough to ask me?"

Nick had a feeling Olivia could see right through him--they'd been partners for a few years after all. He wasn't sure how to answer--or if he wanted to be entirely truthful. In the end, he opted for vague honesty. "I care about her."

Olivia watched his expression in silence for a long moment before responding. "So do I."

Nick could see the meaning behind her words as clearly as if she'd spoken them aloud--don't hurt my friend. He didn't say it, but he hoped Olivia knew he would never hurt you...it would break his heart.

**********

"Hey (Y/N/N). You busy?"

You looked up to see Nick standing in your office doorway, leaning against the frame. You swallowed thickly as you pushed down the improper thoughts blazing through your mind at the sight.

"Uh--no. What's up?"

He stepped into the room, edging closer to your desk. "I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight. My treat."

You raised your eyebrows at him, unsure of the cause of his request. "Is there some sort of celebration I'm unaware of?"

He chuckled lightly. "Other than your new-found freedom, no. I just...well, I wanted to spend a little time with you. Ya know, if you want."

You bit your bottom lip as you contemplated his offer. "Well, I don't have any other plans, so why not?"

He grinned. "Excellent. Do you want time to go home first or just leave from here?"

You looked down at your outfit, suddenly feeling very frumpy and unattractive. You knew he wasn't asking you out on a date--just a friend inviting you to dinner to cheer you up. Even still, you really didn't want to go out looking like this. "Do you mind if I go home and change first?"

"Not at all. I can pick you up from your place, if you'd like?"

"Oh, uh-yeah. Sure."

He smiled again. "Perfect. 6:30?"

You nodded. "Sounds good."

You watched him walk out of your office, mind racing as you tried to figure out his motivations and what the hell you were gonna wear.

**********

By the time 6pm rolled around, you'd managed to change your clothes somewhere in the realm of 50 times, and you still weren't entirely satisfied. Even your favorite outfit didn't feel right--you could hear your ex's voice in the back of your mind telling you everything you tried on looked bad.

You dug further into your closet, looking for something simple--cover the things you wanna hide and accentuate the things you wanna show off. Your eyes fell on a beautiful black dress you'd actually never worn. You'd purchased it on a whim because you'd loved it in the store and Olivia had insisted it was too perfect to pass up on.

You pulled the dress off the hanger and put it on, pleased it still fit properly. When you turned to look in the mirror, you almost didn't recognize yourself--you actually felt pretty. The bodice of the dress was tight, but the lower half was flowy. The material was a soft, stretch satin, with a low neckline and flutter sleeves. The dress hit right above your knees and it practically screamed for a pair of heels.

You found your favorite black pumps, slipping them on and smiling at your reflection. You put on some jewelry to spice up the look, sprayed your favorite perfume, and double checked your hair and makeup one last time. You didn't wear much makeup on the daily, so you didn't go too wild with your makeup for the evening. You'd added some eyeliner and lipstick, but otherwise you looked natural. You'd actually been having a good hair day already, so you were pleased to see it was still behaving properly.

You'd just put the last finishing touches on the outfit when you heard the buzzer ring. You quickly went to answer it, and upon hearing Nick's voice, told him you'd be right down.

You took one last look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and headed downstairs feeling both excited and trepidatious. You reminded yourself once again this was just two friends having dinner--purely platonic...but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't want it to be an actual date.

Nick was waiting just outside the front entrance to your apartment building, and he turned around when he heard the door open. Nothing could have prepared you for the look on his face when he saw you.

"Santa mierda," he breathed. "You look incredible." [Holy shit.]

You blushed and looked away. "Thank you," you mumbled softly.

He stepped towards you and gently touched your chin, lifting your face to meet his gaze. "You're very welcome."

He dropped his hand, but his eyes stayed fixed on your face for a long moment. "Do you like Italian?" he asked.

"Of course," you answered, silently pleased your voice sounded normal.

"Excellent." He gestured towards his car and you followed behind him. He opened the passenger door and helped you in before getting in the driver's seat.

The drive wasn't very long, and your nerves kept you quiet for most of the ride. You listened to him chatter on about nothing, simply enjoying the sound of his voice.

When you arrived at the restaurant, he once again opened your door and helped you out, but this time his hand didn't leave yours. He placed your hand through the loop he'd made with his arm and guided you to the entrance.

Once you were seated, your nerves began to ratchet up even higher. Unfortunately for you, Nick was both an extremely good detective and an annoyingly perceptive person. As such, he noticed your discomfort immediately.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you lied.

"It's just me, (Y/N/N)," he said quietly.

You exhaled slowly--realizing he was right. It was Nick for God's sake. He was your colleague, your friend. There was no reason to be nervous. "You're right."

He smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze your hand. He pulled it back to his side of the table as the server arrived for your drink order.

You were grateful for the glass of wine he delivered moments later, lifting it to your lips almost immediately. You knew the liquid would calm your nerves--maybe then you wouldn't embarrass yourself.

"I'm glad you agreed to have dinner with me," Nick said softly as he sipped his own glass of wine.

"I was a little surprised, in all honesty."

"That I asked or that you agreed?" he teased lightly.

You smiled. "Definitely the former."

"I hate seeing you upset," he admitted. "I thought I might be able to cheer you up a little."

"Thanks, Nick. You're a good friend."

His face fell slightly, but he quickly hid it behind a soft smile. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Whatever he was going to ask was cut off by the arrival of the server to take your food order.

As soon as the server left the table, Nick leaned forward and lowered his voice. "What did he say to you that hurt you so much?"

"What?"

"Your ex."

Your expression shifted and you looked down at the table. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"Because whatever he said hurt you--and I'm willing to bet my career that he was wrong."

Your eyes snapped back up to meet his. His expression was deadly serious, yet it somehow put you at ease in a way only Nick could. "He said some unpleasant things about my physical appearance that I could have lived without hearing."

Surprise lit up his handsome face. "Unpleasant things about your appearance? I'll bet my life he was wrong."

Now it was your turn to be surprised. "I wouldn't make that bet, Nick."

"I'm confident. Tell me what he said and I'll judge for myself."

You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before giving him a quick overview. "Essentially he said I'm unattractive and fat--I recall the word 'gross' being used as well."

Nick's temper flared instantly, the urge to punch that son of a bitch in the face nearly overwhelming. "He said what?"

Even if you didn't know Nick, you would have been able to see the rage simmering in his eyes, hear it in his tone. "It's not a big deal."

"If he was here, I'd launch him through a window. Bastard."

"I'm okay," you reassured him quietly.

Your soft voice grounded him, as it so often did, and he felt his anger dissipating. He was still angry, but the urge to hunt that asshole down had begun to fade.

"He was wrong, you know."

"Huh?"

"He was wrong. Not only are you one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on, but your body is perfectly proportioned--deliciously soft and curvy. You're about as far from gross as a human being can be."

He spoke with such conviction, such assuredness, that you almost believed him--almost.

"While I appreciate the compliment, Nick, you've never seen me naked...your opinion would change, trust me."

Nick's eyes flared with a new kind of intensity. "I highly doubt that."

"His did," you said quietly.

"He clearly didn't know what he had."

Your eyes met his, shoulders tense, discomfort obvious in every movement you made.

"Listen to me, (Y/N). I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe me--I think you're gorgeous. Stunning. Elegante. Sin fin perfecta." [Elegant. Endlessly perfect.] He reached for your hand and you let him take it in his. "You are a prize, (Y/N). Any man worth a damn would be honored to call you his."

You didn't know what to say. His words surprised you and warmed your soul at the same time. You could also feel the familiar tightening in your gut, accompanied by an entire swarm of butterflies dancing in your stomach.

"Forget every terrible thing he ever said to you, hermosa. Let me fill your mind with praise. Let me remind you of your beauty, inside and out, of your brilliance, of your kindness, your empathy...of all the little things that make you the incredible woman you are."

"Nick..." you whispered, his name the only coherent thing you were able to utter.

The moment was shattered by the arrival of your food. You'd been hungry when you sat down at the table, but your body was now flooded with a very different kind of hunger--a hunger you now believed Nick shared.

"Thank you, Nick," you said softly. "I know it's not nearly enough, but thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I meant every word."

You gave him a small smile. "Still..."

He returned the expression.

The two of you ate in silence for several minutes, minds clearly elsewhere. After a while, Nick noticed you'd done more moving the food around the plate than actually eating and he called you out on it.

"Eat your food, querida. You'll need your strength."

Your head snapped up, eyes meeting his gaze. "For what?"

He leaned forward. "If you'll let me, I'm going to spend several hours showing you exactly how sexy I think you are."

You gulped. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

He grinned wolfishly. "By worshipping that amazing body of yours...over and over again, until you're screaming my name."

You suddenly found it very difficult to breathe, let alone eat. Nick, on the other hand, went right back to eating his food as if he hadn't just threatened you with an incredibly good time.

You had to force yourself to focus on your food, desperately trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs.

As soon as the meal was over, Nick asked for the check and paid, revealing just how desperate he was to get back to your place.

Once again, he helped you into the car, only this time his hand lingered on the small of your back.

Anticipation flooded through you as Nick drove through the streets of the city. You'd wanted him for so long--never once thinking he'd reciprocate the desire. Despite his words earlier in the evening, you still felt a shred of self-doubt...worrying he might not find you as attractive once you were naked.

"Where's that pretty head at, querida?" he asked softly, noticing your anxiety.

"Can you promise me something?"

"Of course."

"If you don't want to go through with this...you know, when you see me without my clothes on...please just tell me. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you don't wanna do."

He reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. "I don't have to promise that because I know what I want, (Y/N)...and that's you. You could be a alien underneath those clothes and I'd still want you."

You laughed lightly. "I promise I'm not an alien."

He grinned. "Then we're gonna be just fine, baby."

You closed your eyes, silently willing yourself to believe him. You trusted him with your life--something you'd never experienced with any of your past relationships. Every fiber of your being told you Nick would never hurt you on purpose--never. You just needed to trust him--let go of your pain and give in to your desires.

When you finally made it back to your apartment, Nick gave you a gentle reminder. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to, (Y/N)."

"I want to," you whispered.

He inhaled slowly and took a step towards you. "Say 'no' or 'stop' and I'll stop immediately, okay? No hard feelings--I won't push you."

"I don't want to say no, Nick."

He took another step towards you, effectively backing you against the wall. "If you wanna stop--"

"Nick, please just kiss me," you begged softly.

He groaned softly before leaning in to press his lips to yours. His kiss was like fire and ice--more addictive than any drug known to man. He kissed you like you were the air he needed to breathe--like he would rather suffocate to death than stop.

He pressed his warm body against yours, wedging his knee between your thighs to keep you from squeezing them together. His tongue tangled with yours, quickly asserting dominance as he deepened the kiss.

Your hands went to the buttons on his white button down, quickly undoing them in a desperate need to feel his skin. He helped you remove the shirt, followed by his undershirt, leaving his toned chest bare for you to see.

You bit your lip and stifled a soft groan as you appreciated his form.

"You can touch me, querida," he said softly. "I wanna feel your soft hands on my skin."

You did as he asked, hands gliding over his smooth, tan skin. He sighed softly and leaned into your touch, lips grazing your jaw affectionately.

Your hands traveled to his hips and you began to loosen his belt. He allowed you to unbutton his pants and he helped you remove them.

"I think you're a bit overdressed for the occasion, hermosa," he teased huskily.

You tensed slightly, a feeling of dread washing over you.

Of course, Nick felt it and instantly began to sooth your worries. "You can keep on as much as you want, querida, but I want to see you. I've wanted to touch you like this since the day I met you. But if you're more comfortable keeping your clothes on, that's alright."

You looked up at him, his dark eyes warm and honest. You took a deep breath and pushed him back slightly, giving yourself the room to pull your dress off over your head.

You dropped your dress to the ground, but your eyes didn't meet his gaze--you couldn't even bring yourself to look at his face, too afraid of what you might see there.

"Querida, por favor," Nick whispered. "Look at me."

You looked up at him slowly, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you took in his hungry expression.

"I wanna kiss every square inch of your beautiful body, hermosa. Will you let me?"

You nodded tentatively.

"I need to hear you say it, baby," he pleaded.

"I want you Nick, please."

He groaned and pressed his body against yours again. "Say that again, querida."

"I want you," you whispered.

"Fuck--" He slammed his lips against yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth almost immediately. You melted in his arms, reveling in the feeling of his body against yours.

He finally pulled away to catch his breath, but his hands didn't leave your body. Now that he'd touched you so intimately, he never wanted to stop.

"Come with me," he whispered, before guiding you to your bedroom. "Lay down on the bed for me, querida."

You did as he asked, noticing how his eyes never left your body.

He made sure you were looking at him before he began to lower his boxer briefs, slowly revealing his large cock. He was already painfully hard, a bead of precum lingering at the tip.

You licked your lips in anticipation, an action he noticed with pride.

"Like what you see, hermosa?"

"Very much so."

He smiled and climbed onto the bed, covering your soft body with his hard one. "May I take off your bra?"

You nodded.

"Baby..." he said in a clear warning tone.

You understood his meaning instantly, a flood of arousal going straight to your core at the order. "Yes, papi."

His eyes widened for a moment, surprised and pleased at your use of the title. "Such a good girl, aren't you?"

A soft moan left your lips at the praise and he smiled to himself, pleased he was able to suss out what you liked.

His hand snaked around your back, deftly unclasping your bra with surprising ease. The moment your breasts were bared to his gaze, his mouth descended on you, taking a pert nipple into his mouth.

You moaned softly, fingers intertwining into his dark locks. His lips and hands massaged your breasts, giving them equal attention. True to his word, he moved tantalizingly slowly down your body, kissing every inch of skin he could, while avoiding where you needed him most.

By the time he made his way back up to your face, you were begging him to touch your pussy--pleading for some relief.

"Nick, please--I need you."

"What did you call me?" he asked harshly.

Your eyes widened lustfully. "I'm sorry, papi!"

He smiled, ghosting his fingers across your still-clothed pussy. "That's my good girl."

You whimpered at the feather-light touches he placed to your mound, desperate for more. "Please, papi."

"Hmm? Qué deseas?" [What do you want?]

"Please touch me," you begged.

"I am touching you, querida."

"More, papi. Please!"

He smiled. "Normally I'd take my time teasing you--making you beg for what you want...but if I'm being honest, I'm as desperate to touch you as you are to feel it, so I'll be nice to you this time."

He tugged your panties off quickly before spreading your thighs as wide as he could, revealing your dripping wet folds.

"All this for me, baby?" he growled.

"Only you, papi," you responded.

"Yeah? No one else makes you this wet?"

You shook your head vehemently. "No one else."

"Now I have one rule, hermosa. I wanna hear you--every little sound coming out of that pretty mouth. Be as loud as you want. Entiendes?" [Understand?]

"Si, papi," you whimpered.

He smirked as he lowered himself down onto the bed between your legs. His strong hands gripped your hips and he tugged you as close to his face as he could before diving into your pussy with a deep groan of pleasure.

You gasped at the sensation, the sound quickly becoming moans of enjoyment. Nick was quite skilled with his mouth--his tongue alone made you feel things you'd never before experienced.

Your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging at the roots as you desperately sought your release.

Nick held you in place as he continued his assault on your pussy, ensuring he had complete control over your pleasure.

"Feels so good," you gasped. "Gonna cum, papi."

He groaned against your clit, the vibrations sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. He could feel how close you were by the way your thighs tried to close and your grip on his hair tightened.

Your moans became more desperate--needy, and he slid two fingers into your pussy, gently pressing into your g-spot rapidly.

You cried out, legs shaking slightly, seconds before your orgasm ripped through you like a tidal wave. His name left your lips in a gasped scream as he worked you through your high, only stopping when you began to squirm away.

You were completely breathless when he lifted his head, mouth and chin soaked in your juices. He licked his lips and wiped his mouth on his hand, licking it clean as he maintained eye contact with you. "You taste so good baby...I can't get enough."

You reached for him and he obliged, leaning forward to kiss you softly. You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue, a soft sound of pleasure escaping into his mouth.

"Querida," he whispered against your lips. "I need to be inside you."

"Please," you whimpered.

"Do you have protection?"

"I'm on the pill..."

"I'm clean," he assured you.

"Me too."

He lined his cock up with your entrance and looked back up at your face. "Are you sure, hermosa?"

"Si papi. I want you to fuck me."

He groaned softly before thrusting into you, sheathing himself fully inside of you in one swift movement.

You cried out, the stretch both overwhelming and extremely pleasurable all at once. You clutched his neck and he breathed deeply, trying to calm his racing heart.

"You can move," you whispered.

"Not yet, querida. I need a moment."

"Are you okay?" you asked in concern.

"Your pussy feels so damn incredible, baby...I'm just trying to control myself so I don't hurt you."

You bit your lip and lifted his face up to look at you. "I like a little bit of pain, papi." You clenched your pussy tightly for emphasis.

"Mierda," he ground out. "You sure?"

"Fuck me senseless, Nick. Por favor."

As much as he loved you calling him 'papi', hearing you say his name like that made him feral. He pulled out and thrust back in harshly, starting a fast, hard pace.

"Baby, say my name again," he begged.

"Nick," you moaned lowly.

"Fuck." He was fucking you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do and you'd never experienced anything like it.

You felt the coil tightening in your abdomen, and for the first time in your life, you knew you were going to cum during penetration. Your moans were loud enough to wake the neighbors, your nails dug into his muscular back, and your pussy had his cock in a vice grip.

"You gonna cum for me, (Y/N)?"

You nodded rapidly, unable to voice a response. The only thing coming out of your mouth was a string of incoherent moans and pleas.

"I wanna feel you cum, baby. Cubre mi polla." [Coat my cock.]

"Nick!" you whined.

"What do you need, querida? Tell me."

"More," you whimpered.

He slipped his hand between your bodies and began to gently massage your clit. "This what you need, baby?"

"Nick!" you screamed. "Don't stop!"

"That's it, baby. That's it. I've got you. Cum for me, querida. Ven por mí." [Come for me.]

You cried out in ecstasy as the waves of pleasure overwhelmed your senses. You clung to him desperately, as if he was a life raft while you were adrift in the ocean.

He began to chase his own high as you came down, your awareness coming back to you. His thrusts were fast and rough, his breathing ragged.

"I want you to cum for me, papi. Fill me up," you begged.

"Dios mio! You feel so good, baby. Wanna cum for you."

You clenched your pussy as tightly as you could, desperate for him to enjoy this as much as you did.

"(Y/N)!" he cried out as he came, his hot seed filling you up.

His thrusts slowed and faltered before he finally collapsed on top of you, breathless and satiated.

You held him close, running your fingers through his hair as he caught his breath. You were a little worried he would regret this now that it was over, but your fears were assuaged the moment he lifted his head to look at you.

His beautiful brown eyes were warm and loving as he gazed at you, happiness and contentment clear in his expression. "That was incredible," he murmured softly.

You blushed slightly. "You were incredible."

"As were you, querida."

He pressed his lips to yours as he pulled himself up. He rolled onto his side and pulled you with him, so your head rested against his chest.

"I'm thinking we take a power nap, then we go for round two," Nick said softly.

"Round two?!"

He grinned. "I did promise you I was gonna worship this sexy body of yours for hours."

"I didn't think you were serious, Nick," you said with a chuckle.

"Oh, baby, I'm always serious about worshipping you. I think you'll learn that very quickly."

You smiled and kissed his chest softly. You debated whether you wanted to voice the question that popped into your head, but once again, Nick beat you to it.

"You know this isn't a one time thing, right?" Nick asked gently. "I mean, unless you want it to be."

You looked up at him, expression soft and affectionate. "I was actually just going to ask you that."

He grinned. "So...you saying you might wanna see me again?"

"I see you every day, Nick," you teased.

"I mean like this, hermosa. Naked in your bed, making you scream my name, giving you as much pleasure as your pretty little body will take."

Your breath hitched in your chest, giving away just how badly you wanted that. "That too."

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. "If I'm lucky, you'll let me take you out more too. Dinner, dancing, walks in the park, musicals...whatever you want. Wherever you go, I want to be there too."

Your eyes widened in surprise and tears filled them. You'd never had someone speak to you the way Nick did, let alone want to be with you in the way he just described.

"Querida," he whispered as he wiped your eyes. "Don't cry."

"Tears of joy," you assured him. "I promise."

His expression warmed, filling with the love and admiration he clearly felt for you. "So you'll be mine then? Exclusively?"

Your lips parted and you smiled. "I would love that."

He smiled back. "Thank god...because whether you knew it or not, I've been yours exclusively for the past year."

"What?"

He blushed slightly. "I...well I've wanted to be with you since my marriage fell apart, but I didn't want you to think you were some kind of rebound, so I kept myself professional. It's gotten harder and harder to do and then seeing you dating someone who treated you so terribly knowing full-well I would die for you made it nearly impossible."

"I didn't know," you whispered.

"I went to great lengths to make sure of that," Nick said softly. "But now that I have you? Now that I know what it's like to touch you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you? Baby, I can't walk away. You're stuck with me."

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, straddling his strong body. You leaned down to kiss him softly, pouring all of your emotion into the kiss. "There's no one I'd rather be stuck with, Nick Amaro," you whispered against his lips.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around you, kissing you with as much passion as he could muster. He was determined to spend every minute of the rest of his life making sure you knew how incredible you were, how much he appreciated you, and how madly in love with you he would always be.

[noellawrites]

Belly of the Beast - Sonny Carisi x reader

summary: Reader has been hooking up with Sonny and gets kidnapped by William Lewis, who is determined to get them pregnant against their will. Reader does eventually become pregnant and is unsure of the paternity of the baby.

AFAB reader but no specific pronouns used.

warnings: rape, abduction, torture, pregnancy, discussion of abortion, canon-typical violence

The night before you were taken was completely normal. No alarm bells ringing in your brain, no voice telling you not to go into work the following day. You were spending the night with your co-worker, Sonny Carisi, and having amazing sex as usual. It was the kind of intimate intercourse that was normal with him, making you feel so special and loved.

As detectives in the same Manhattan SVU squad, you had to keep your companionship a secret. You both loved your jobs and you knew it could cause trouble if anyone found out. Besides, Sonny was brand new to the squad, and you knew Liv would transfer one of you in a heartbeat if she found out.

It happened so fast. One moment you were grabbing a cup from the cabinet in your apartment, the next moment a gun was being held to your head.

“N-no, please—“ you gasp, mind racing. You were wearing your holster, but your gun was still locked in your safe. You weren’t thinking this morning. Your mind was scattered from last night’s events, and it was about to massively screw you over.

“Gotta say I’m offended, sweet cheeks. No warm welcome for an old friend?” William Lewis says with a sinister smile, “I just knew I had to come back for you, such a sweet young thing. Couldn’t stop thinking about what I wanted to do to you, to Olivia Benson’s protégée. Hit you both where it hurts.”

His sentence is punctuated with a swift slam of the gun to the side of your head, knocking you out cold on your kitchen floor.

—

The first thing you notice after regaining consciousness are the handcuffs attaching your hands to the pipes on the wall and binding your feet together.

The room you were in was bare except for the pipes, the cuffs and you. It looked to be a utility closet with no windows, only a lone lightbulb above you with a string attached.

Duct tape covered your mouth, leaving you unable to scream. You thrashed around, tugging on your cuffs, hoping someone might hear.

Your eyes darted around the room. Were you still in Manhattan? Were you even in New York anymore? You had no idea what time it was or even what day. Your squad had to be looking for you by now, after you didn’t show up at work.

You didn’t have to guess for long, because the door swung open to reveal William Lewis, smiling down at you.

“God, you’re even cuter than I remember. Knew I needed you right away,” he sighs, stepping inside and closing the door behind you.

“You scream, I shoot,” he says, hand moving to his side as he pulls out a gun and fixes it on you.

He leans over, tearing the duct tape off your mouth along with some of your skin.

“Gotta say, I’m pretty hurt. Detective Amaro leaves, new guy comes in and you start hooking up with him?” Lewis sighs, shaking his head.

“What do you want from me?” you huff, tugging on your handcuffs again.

“This time, I’m taking what’s mine,” he smirks, “I’ve got a bed set up for us. Thought of you with all the other holes I fucked, and I knew I had to get my hands on you myself.”

“What, you mean all the women and children you raped, beat and killed?” you snap, writhing around as he un-cuffs you from the pipes and then re-cuffs you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you the royal treatment. I’ve got something special for you, little one. You might’ve started out as Benson’s protégée, but you’ll end up carrying mine,” he laughs.

Your blood runs cold at his words, knowing he must be planning on raping you. You wracked your brain for all the delaying tactics that Olivia’s taught you, and everything she’s told you about Lewis’ temper.

Lewis leans over and pulls you up, grabbing his gun with the other hand and fixing it on you.

“You’re insane, you know that? I’m not letting you do this,” you grunt.

Lewis yanks the door open and pushes you out, hand holding onto your cuffed ones. You look around what appears to be an abandoned warehouse for a few seconds before you are pushed down onto a dirty mattress.

“Olivia wasn’t enough of a thrill, so you just had to come for me, is that it? What about Amanda, is she next?” you challenge.

“Olivia is boring and Amanda’s all used up,” he laughs, “you, however, are perfect for this.”

“What are you gonna do to me?” you hiss as Lewis turns you over, pinning your hands under your back.

“This sweet little womb is going to carry the next rapist, the next little life-ruiner,” Lewis says, fingers tracing over your lower stomach, “first, he’ll rip out of you, ruining your body forever. And then he’ll follow in his daddy’s footsteps when he grows up.”

“What makes you so sure you’ll get me pregnant? And that it’ll be a boy?” you huff.

Each word that came out of William Lewis’ mouth made you even more terrified, your mind racing to rescue yourself from this situation.

“I’m more than just a pretty face, Detective (y/l/n). Right now is your most fertile time, according to the chart you keep in your desk. And we both know you’re too sappy and weak to get an abortion,” he laughs, shaking his head at you. So weak, so pathetic. An SVU Detective who couldn’t even save themself from becoming a victim.

“That’s— you have no idea what you’re talking about,” you gasp, thrashing around.

“Now you’re gonna make this hard on me? Fine,” he sighs, grabbing a bottle of alcohol from beside the mattress and unscrewing the cap, “drink up, baby.”

—

Over the next few days, you were out of your mind. If you weren’t passed out or asleep, you were drunk or high at Lewis’ force, shoving edibles down your throat and washing them down with bottles of cheap vodka.

Your throat burned, stung red with pain, and your body was dirty and disgusting. As if the drugs weren’t enough, Lewis was getting off on burning and scarring you, too. Lighters, cigarettes and metal objects were on rotation across your skin.

The worst was the rape, for which you preferred to be unconscious for. At least if you weren’t mentally there, you weren’t being traumatized again.

After the first few times, you knew you would never get a good night of sleep, never have a calm moment, never become intimate without feeling what you felt when William Lewis forced himself inside you, fucking at a brutal pace, spitting and screaming and grunting horrible things as he used and abused your body for his own pleasure.

He came inside of you as much as he physically could, getting off on mocking you for becoming his rape victim and eventually the carrier of his monstrous offspring.

After a few days, he figured SVU would be catching onto him, ever loyal to their own. He couldn’t risk moving you so he cuffed you back to the pipes, kissed your lips and disappeared. William Lewis had his fun with you, but he needed to keep moving if he was to avoid arrest.

You hadn’t been fed the entire time, barely given any water and mostly having had drugs and alcohol forced down your throat. You didn’t hear anything as SVU busted in, Olivia and Sonny leading ahead as they sprinted towards your weak figure.

“(Y/n)? Oh fuck— oh ma’ god—“ Sonny’s voice breaks, looking up at Olivia with tears in his eyes.

Liv pulls out her radio, immediately ordering a bus for an officer down.

“Baby, c’mon, it’s Sonny. ‘M right here—,” he coos, taking off his jacket and laying it over you to give you some privacy. You were fully naked and chained up, blood and burn marks everywhere. It didn’t take a genius to understand what had happened.

“Mmmph—“ you mumble as he unlocks the cuffs with the standard key used by NYPD.

“Ah know ‘ya can hear me, jus’ hold on. We’re gettin’ a bus, okay?” he sniffles, hand on your arm. Sonny wished more than anything that he could take your pain and make it his.

Sonny scrambled to grab a water bottle before Liv stuck her hand out, keeping him back.

“I know you want to help, Carisi, but the inside of their mouth could have DNA evidence,” Liv says with a pinched expression.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill whoeva’ did this,” Sonny growls, looking around as his blood boils. You had only been gone for three days, but it had felt like an eternity. Sonny had never been so afraid in his entire life.

—

If you ever had any question of what you and Sonny were to each other, it was answered in the days following your attack. Sonny spent a week and a half straight with you in your apartment, doing anything you needed. He bathed you, cooked for you, gave you space if you needed and held you when you woke up shaking or crying from a nightmare.

You returned to work a month later, even though Liv wanted you to take a longer break. She kept a close eye on you, having gone through multiple horrific William Lewis experiences herself, although none included rape itself.

A week into your return, Olivia pulled you into her office and gave you the grim update that there were basically no updates. Very much unlike him, Lewis had disappeared or gone into hiding. And Liv had one request for you: she wanted you to take a pregnancy test.

You laughed, taken aback at the absurd notion. Sure, you hadn’t had your period yet, but it wasn’t uncommon for survivors of extreme trauma. But Liv wanted to be sure, as Lewis’ mission with you was to force you to carry his offspring.

“I-I think the worst part is—“ you gulp, “he was right. I don’t have the balls to get an abortion. I’ve always wanted a baby, and I just— god, Liv, if I’m pregnant by my rapist, I have no idea what I’ll do.”

“And what about you and Carisi?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Me… and Carisi?”

“(Y/n), I’m not blind,” she smiles softly.

“We haven’t— you know, since the assault. I just can’t. But that would be even worse, I mean, I know Sonny would stick around. Both of us together, raising Lewis’ baby? A-and with the threat of him coming back and wanting custody? It’s just too much. I would put that poor baby up for adoption,” you sigh.

“Take the test and we’ll figure things out from there, Detective (y/l/n). I’ll be here for you every step of the way,” Olivia promises.

You both stand up and she gives you a hug, noticing how your body trembles. She had a hunch you’d been like that since the assault, and she couldn’t blame you. She’d be lying if she said Lewis didn’t haunt her dreams sometimes, too.

You took the test in your apartment, alone. Sonny’s shift ended two hours after yours, which gave you enough time to grab some tests from the bodega and take them with your fingers crossed praying to not be pregnant.

You still had flashbacks to those moments, the ugly ones where you were drunk or high and still awake with Lewis on top of you. You saw his repulsive smile every time you closed your eyes, hearing him babble about knocking you up and wrecking your life even more.

Your job was everything to you and you loved helping people, but you had never fully understood how it felt to be a sex crimes victim until it happened to you. Until your power was stripped away, every piece of your humanity torn to shreds. You never knew what it felt to want to burn your body, to destroy the evidence, to put an end to the agony plaguing you day in and day out.

You never wanted to die as much as when you flipped over those tests, seeing the plus signs and knowing you were giving William Lewis exactly what he wanted.

After a few days of moping, Sonny sat you up in bed and reminded you of the small, but still possible, chance that it could be his baby. You hadn’t used a condom with Sonny on the night before your abduction, though you usually did.

“Baby, jus’ get it checked. If it’s ours—“

“And what if it’s not, Sonny? You really want to raise a baby conceived with my rapist?” you cry, burying your head in your hands.

“Wouldn’t want t’give Lewis the satisfaction of lettin’ him raise it himself, doll. ‘N it’s still gonna be ‘ya baby, have ‘ya DNA either way,” Sonny reminds you, stroking your arm softly and gently.

“I-I’ll go in for a fetal DNA test,” you agree, allowing Sonny to call and make an appointment for your next day off.

In those moments between, you lived in a sweet purgatory outside of your body. The only times you felt grounded were when Sonny’s hands were on you, holding you, kissing your forehead, lacing your fingers together.

You couldn’t believe a tiny organism was growing inside of you, relying on you for nutrients and nourishment and love. Something so innocent that might be born from something so awful. You couldn’t even close your eyes when you thought about it, you just saw Lewis’ scarred face and his eerie, victorious smile.

“You’re sure you don’t want me t’come with ‘ya?” Sonny frowns, turning to face you as he buttons up his dress shirt.

“I’ll be okay, I promise,” you say, though you’re not so sure.

“If not, call me or Liv, alright? One of us can come, we don’t want ‘ya t’be alone,” Sonny says, stepping towards you and placing a hand on your shoulder gently.

“I will, Sonny. Don’t worry,” you smile, leaning into his warm embrace.

You were told the results could take up to two weeks to arrive, so you went back home and looked around your apartment. It was a one bedroom, barely big enough for you and a baby. If the baby was Sonny’s, would you move in together? Would you have to switch departments? Would you get engaged?

And if it was Lewis’? You loathed the thought, but it was the more likely possibility. You wish you could give it up for adoption, but the truth was that it would be your baby too. Could you really give your baby away just because it was conceived through rape?

—

Two weeks later, like clockwork, your phone rang. The caller ID was your doctor’s office, so you glanced at Sonny. He was none the wiser, sitting on the couch and reading through case files.

“H-hello?” you answer, ducking into the bedroom. Your hand shook as you held your cell phone up to your ear.

“Hello, is this (y/n) (y/l/n)?”

“Yes, that’s me,” you say nervously.

“I have the results of your fetal DNA test. The sample from Dominick Carisi Junior is a 99.7 percent paternal match.”

“Wh— a-are you sure?” you whisper. Your shaky hand comes up to your mouth as you blink slowly, hardly believing your ears.

“Yes, with a match that close, it is virtually impossible to have another paternal match,” the voice on the other line explains.

“Okay, thank you. So much. I-I really appreciate it,” you smile.

You exchange pleasantries and hang up, tiptoeing out of your bedroom as you glance at Sonny again. Your last look at him before telling him he would become a father.

“Sonny? I have some really good news.”

[mollycabot]

Casey x sister reader

Messed with the wrong person

Y/N= your name Y/N/N= your nickname

A/N the Svu team deals with a lot of sexual assault case daily but what happens when a case they deal with that involves the victim in question is Ada Casey Novak younger sister. First law and order fan fiction hope you guys enjoy it. (Mentions of sexual assault and talks about being rape) and tiny mentioned of self harm not in great detail

It was just a other day on the job and Olivia and Elliot and the team where helping victims of sex crimes however a report came in of a breaking and entry into an apartment that is housed college students.

Olivia and Elliot went to the scene and was greeted with a girl covered in bruises and blood and naked leaning against the wall as the others where gathering evidence, Olivia went to talk to the girl Elliot gave her his jacket and Olivia warped her in a blanket as well to cover her up and to keep her warm.

“Hun can you please tell us your name and what happened?” Olivia asked the girl was in shock and confusion. “I don’t want to talk about and I don’t want my sister to find out.” The girl said scared.

Olivia then asked “who your sister sweetheart and this wasn’t your fault we going to find this guys and make sure he’s locked up for good” said Olivia.

The girl just sat there and said nothing Liv then went to carry the girl to the ambulance she looked to be no older then 20 at least feeling sorry for the girl she got int he ambulance and rode with her.

Once at the hospital the doctors checked her out and sent the rape kit off to the labs as Liv was taking her statement. “Hunny you need to tell me your name as this will make it easier for everyone.” Olivia said kindly and gently. The girl looked away from the detective. “My name is Y/N”. Said the girl and Olivia asked about her last name the girl took a breath and said, “it’s Y/N Novak.” Olivia stood shocked and look at the girl. Olivia then had to ask, “is your sister Ada Casey Novak?” Olivia asked the girl nodded and with that Olivia stepped outside the hospital room.

Olivia called Elliot who was back at the station.

“Hello Liv” Elliot said, “listen Elliot I got the girls name and last name and she Casey Novak younger sister and I know full well that Casey is going to go crazy we both know how much she loves her younger sister and wants to protect her at all costs and that this guy will be lucky if Casey hasn’t killed him.” Olivia said not knowing that Elliot phone was on speaker as he was busy writing up his report and not realising that Casey had heard the whole conversation the look of anger was an under statement.

“What the hell is this!” Casey shouted and Elliot look a taken back “what hospital” and what this guys name I want him getting the mix sentence he can get”. Casey shouted as she got her coat and head her way to the hospital.

Elliot phone Liv to let her know about the red head is on her way and is ready to kill someone,

As Olivia was stood outside the girls room Casey walked up and pushed Olivia against the wall. “Why the fuck did you not call me as soon as got the case!”casey demanded. “She didn’t want to give us her name at first and she was so badly beaten and shocked that she wasn’t in any frame of mine Casey you know how victims can be and I want to find this guy as much as you do but being angry isn’t going to help anyone.” Olivia said and with that Casey let go of the detective and walked into the room where she found her sister lying on the bed crying. Casey took a seat next to the bed and took her sister hand in hers.

“Y/N it’s ok your sister here and I’m going to make sure that no one hurts you ever again.” Casey said. The younger girl pulled herself up and try to give her sister a hug but hiss at the pain of her broken ribs Casey placed a gentle hand on her chest and gently pushed her down on the bed so she wouldn’t hurt herself more. “It’s ok Y/N I’m not leaving your side and can you tell who did this to you?” She ask.

Olivia came in with three cups of coffee Casey helped her sister sit up as Olivia handed everyone their cords and sat down.

“I don’t know there names but there where a group of boys who are in there final year of college the also very popular and went my ex and I broke off she went to tell them I was a lesbian and a piece of shit who is nothing but a worthless pile of trash and that I’m nothing compared to my sister and that I’m not a woman and that they will show me I’m a woman and then when I got home later in the evening I started working on my painting when I heard my door got broken and these two guys walked in and started trashing my place and destroyed my art works that I been working on and when I asked them to stop and leave the start to beat me up and one of them said well my lady it’s time to show you how an women is really use for and they started to rip my clothes off and I was fighting them so hard and shouting stop please stop they didn’t and then one of them stood over me with my lamp and bashed it over my head then I can’t remember anything after that”. Y/N said drink her coffee.

Olivia was shocked and Casey looked pissed and once the results of the kit came back it was positive for rape and that the where traces of semen but pregnancy and sexual transmitted diseases where negative. Which was a good thing meaning they have the evidence and that Y/N was going to be ok well as ok as she could be. Once Y/N was discharged from the hospital they all went back to the office and they started the case for this and Olivia and Elliot went to the college to start looking for the guys who did it.

While they where out Y/N was sat in Casey office with Casey. “Case can I borrow your clothes if you got some going spare and can I go take a shower?” Ask Y/N. “Sure Casey said want me to come with you and stand outside?” Casey said Y/N nodded and they headed straight for the showers. Casey was leaning against the sinks as Y/N was in the shower. “Y/N/N it’s been a while, I know this is hard and you might not feel clean but trust me all the dirt and stuff is long gone.” Casey said in a gentle tone knowing how the victims tend to be after an event like this. As Casey got no response she had a growing concern and she walked up to see her sister sat on the floor of the shower water pouring over her, her skin turning red from the hot water and her curled into herself with blood coming from her arms. Casey turned the shower off and warped her sister in a towel and picked her up and sat her on the sink given that Casey sister always struggled with mental health issues well before this event as her parents always saw her on the lower level and that she was a let down in not going down the same road as Casey.

But Y/N passion was for art and loved everything about art and Casey was always supportive. Once Y/N clam down Casey handed her the clothes and she jumped off the sink and went to the changing blocks and put the clothes on, once back in Casey office Casey took out the first aid kit and started to treat her sister arms.

After Elliot and Olivia caught the guys thank to Y/N’s roommate who installed CTV cameras in the living room of the apartment they where able to find the guys and got the attack on video with More then enough evidence of this they had definitely got the case In the bag.

At trial

Once in the courtroom everyone took there seats and Olivia and Y/N sat behind Y/N attackers and Casey after Casey showing all evidence and after Y/N give her statements the people decided the result of the trial and Y/N attackers where found guilty on all counts and where sentence to 20+ years in jail with out bail and Casey couldn’t be more happy to have got justice for her sister as the attackers where escorted out Casey turned and said you mess with the wrong person pal no one hurts my sister and gets away with it. Casey said angry at the men once court was over she meet up with Olivia and her sister.

Y/N ran and gave Casey a hug, “thank you so much case your are awesome at what you do and I appreciate everything you done for me right form when we where kids I love sister” Y/N said with genuine happiness Casey hugged back and said that she thankful for her sister and that she always here to protect her as she the light of Casey life. And her and Olivia and Y/N decided to got and get some food to celebrate the trail and that those attackers are away for a long time and will never hurt anyone again.

After that event Casey help her sister unroll herself form the course and help move her into her own apartment block not to far from Olivia and helped her move all her things and Y/N decided to carry on with her art life and Casey couldn’t be more proud of her and knowing she was close by and will never be far again Casey decided to stay over at her sisters for tonight as it had been an eventful day and eventful past couple of weeks.

[storiesofsvu]

Solace

Rita Calhoun x reader warnings: language, brief mention of svu style angst, smut, dirty talk, thigh riding. sub!rita

Rita was home late, later than usual and much later than she had intended when she originally left her office. It was only supposed to be a drink, maybe two while she vented to Elana about the bullshit direction her case was going but one thing always led to another and this time that meant nearly finishing a bottle of wine. Normally these evenings were spent complaining about how annoying her client was, how stupid they were when they thought they were a genius, how the only reason they were on her client list in the first place was daddy’s money. Tonight it was the complete opposite, she’d taken a pro-bono, suggested through Rafael for an incredibly tricky case where she knew that her client was innocent, that they didn’t deserve suffering through a trial much less the prison time they were likely now facing. It was rare that she felt this defeated, that things didn’t feel right and it was eating away at her from the inside out.

The only light left on in the kitchen was the one above the stove, the living room dark and she felt a pang of guilt wash through her at the thought of you waiting up for her. A sliver of light shone down the hallway from the ajar bedroom door, soft music wafting through the air and she took a breath of relief, at least you weren’t already asleep. Nudging the bedroom door open she caught you coming back from the en-suite in a pair of thin beige joggers and a tank you usually slept in.

“Hey.” You greeted with a warm smile, making your way over to her your hand braced on her elbow you leant in, pressing a tender kiss to her cheek and Rita felt the warmth soothe through her veins at the touch.

“I’m sorry I’m so late.”

“It’s alright.” You squeezed at her elbow, “you’ve had a rough week.” You took the blazer folded over her arm, adding it to the dry cleaning pile in the walk in, “did you eat?”

There was a slight pause, “does a salad count?”

You popped back into the room with a brow raised and Rita knew she was already caught, “not if the salad was made up of fermented grapes.”

She let out a soft sigh, stepping out of her shoes and moving through the room to take out her earrings, “fine.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Am I going to wake up to you nearly burning the house down at three in the morning?”

“They have delivery apps for that.” She nearly scowled, looking at you through the mirror and you laughed, wrapping your arms around her from behind.

“Well… if you don’t want food… and you’ve already had something to drink…” your lips brushed against her neck once, twice, “I can think of something else that might make you feel better?”

“Darling…” she sighed, her shoulders sinking at the thought of disappointing you after leaving you hanging all evening, “I just really don’t have the energy—”

“Who said anything about you having to do anything?” You asked, a gleam in your eye as your hands moved to her hips and turned her around to face you, “you’ve had a long week.” Leaning in, you kissed her softly, your lips brushing against hers as you spoke, “let me take care of you, hmm?” Your hands began tugging at the hem of her shirt, untucking it from her skirt so you had access to her skin underneath the fabric as you leant in again, kissing her gently. She let out a soft sigh into the kiss, her arms instinctively wrapping around your shoulders as she melted into your embrace, feeling a tingling starting under her skin, her head already beginning to get fuzzy.

“I do suppose that might help.” She murmured.

“I thought so.”

You playfully nipped at her lower lip before kissing her again, letting her relax into the embrace as your hands slid under her blouse, cold fingers running paths on her heated skin. She sighed into the kiss and you took the opportunity to slide your tongue into her mouth, gracefully rolling along with hers. When your hands crept upwards, gently pawing at her chest she let out a soft moan, her body melting even more into your arms.

“That’s it baby.” You cooed, your lips kissing across her jawline, finger curling under her chin to tilt her head away from you so you could trail kisses down her neck. “Just relax for me. You deserve it.”

When you nipped at her neck she let out a quiet hiss and you couldn’t help but chuckle against her skin, your hands tugging her shirt over her head before tossing it in the direction of the laundry. Her bra was quick to join it, her nipples hardening in the cool bedroom air as you kissed her again, tongue immediately slinking into her mouth. Your hands found her hips, backing her up until her back hit the wall and she let out a small ‘oof’ into the kiss, your lips curving up into a grin at the noise. You tugged on her skirt, yanking it upwards until you could feel the hem of it and you were able to bunch it up around her waist.

“Think we can get rid of these.” You murmured as your fingers slipped into the waistband of her panties, tugging them down her legs and she was quick to kick them off, her hands grasping at you to pull you back into another kiss.

Your hands slid up her body, cupping her chest, thumbs rubbing back and fourth over her nipples before pinching them. Rita broke the kiss with a gasp, her head dropping back against the wall and her hips rolling toward your body. Rather than walking her to the bed like she expected, you slotted a leg between hers, nudging your knee right against the wall so her bare cunt was right on your pant leg.

“Someone’s getting antsy…Go on, ride my thigh.”

“Fuck.” She muttered, her hands bracing on your shoulders as she ground down onto your leg, letting out a whimper as her pussy dragged across your thigh.

“That’s it,” you murmured, placing a kiss right under her ear, “grind that pretty pussy on me, I know you want to.”

Rita groaned softly, her arms tightening around your shoulders as one of your hands slunk up her body to pinch and toy with her chest again. Your lips made a home in the crook of her neck, alternating between biting, sucking and kissing at her supple skin. A shuddering breath escaped from the back of her throat when her clit pressed down onto your thigh, her body shivering as tingles started moving through her. She had already completely forgotten about work, the stressors beginning to melt away from her body the moment your lips touched her. She could feel the tension she’d been holding all week dissipating, dripping away all the way from her head to her toes to be replaced with tiny bursts of fireworks as pleasure took over her only thought process. The lazy roll of her hips was just enough to get her going, her pussy beginning to flutter around nothing as you nudged your leg harder against her.

“C’mon baby, let go. I wanna hear you, you can get louder, can’t you?” You pinched her nipples as you spoke, pulling a low swear from her before one of your hands ran down her side, wrapping around her hip and you began to guide her.

“Oh god..”

“That’s it.” You purred, nipping at her earlobe, your hand guiding her faster as you flexed your thigh, pushing her harder down onto it and she moaned again. “You like that? Hmm?” Your lips brushed against her skin, “that feel good?”

“Mmhmm.” She did her best to nod as her pulsing clit brushed against your leg, her thighs trembling around you.

“You’re so good for me.” Your thumb brushed over her nipple, flicking gently at it, “so good to me. Need to make sure you relax more often, you’re too stressed.” Your hand pressed her down onto your thigh with more pressure and she groaned right into your ear, her fingers clawing at the fabric of your shirt. “Need to play with that pretty pussy more often, don’t I? I bet you’d like that. Already struggle to keep my hands off of you, may as well play with these perfect tits before even getting out of bed.” You enunciated your words by squeezing at her chest, rolling her nipple between your finger and thumb. “Could probably start fingering you in the shower, make you nice and relaxed to start your day off? Hmm?” Your teeth scraped against the column of her neck and Rita ground down onto your thigh, her hips rocking faster now as your words egged her on.

“Fuck…”

“Yeah, I think I’d like that too, feeling your warm pussy wrapped around my fingers, always so fuckin’ wet for me, dripping down my wrist as you squeeze around me.”

Rita’s whimpering grew louder and more frequent, she could feel the wetness between her legs growing with each time you spoke, juices no doubt smearing all over your pants as she rode your thigh. Her cunt pulsed, clit swollen and needy and she had to angle her hips perfectly to get it to grind against your leg. She was starting to lose her breath, caught up in the dirty things you were saying and the pleasure coursing through her entire body. She felt a flame burning inside her, prickling under her skin as your hands toyed with her body in the utterly perfect way, you always knew the exact places to touch her to make her come completely undone.

“Course, I couldn’t let you leave the house without getting my mouth on you.” You husked and she could practically hear the smirk in your voice, her body shuddering at the thought.

“Oh god… fuck..”

“Catch you right before you’re out the door, pin you to the wall just like this.” Your thigh surged up, pressing hard against her cunt and she cried out, her body trembling in your arms, “skirts give me such good access. Just have to pull those pretty lace panties to the side and have my way with you. Be so nice to have the taste of you on my lips for the rest of the day.”

“Darling…” she panted and your hand wound around her body, cupping at her ass, squeezing hard as you urged her to move faster, “oh god…”

“I know you’re close.” You murmured, pressing kisses along her neck, nosing at her jaw to try and gain what little attention left you could, “let go for me baby. I wanna see you come.”

Rita’s nails began to dig into your back as breathless whimpers escaped her lips, her hips rolling faster and harder against your leg, guided by you, urging her on, sweet nothings whispered right into her ear as she buried herself into the crook of your neck. Heat pulsed through her, exploding in her core as she cried out, her pussy clenching down, pulsing harder than she’d expected as she hit her peak. Her head dropped back against the wall, her lips parting as she panted, her body slowly decompressed. Your hand continued to guide her hips, rocking her gently across your thigh, each drag slower and lighter than the one before.

“That’s it gorgeous.” You placed a kiss on her collarbone, your lips making a pathway up her neck until you captured her lips in a small, breathless kiss, “you’re so pretty when you’re coming for me.” Your hand cupped at her cheek while you kissed her again quickly, your thumb rubbing across her skin soothingly.

Finally your hand dropped from her ass, your knee falling from the wall to let your leg relax and your warms wound around her waist, making sure she was stable on her legs as you kissed her again.

“Christ.” She muttered, pulling a small laugh from you.

“I’ll say.” You pinched gently at her sides, guiding her gaze down towards your pant leg, “look at the mess you made.”

Rita felt a flush of heat surge into her cheeks when her eyes landed on the soaked patch of the fabric, a nearly embarrassed chuckle leaving her lips. “Sorry.”

“No need.” You laughed, leaning in to kiss her cheek, winding an arm around her waist, “seems like you really needed to get off, and I was gonna wear shorts to bed anyways.”

“Thank you.” She replied with a very satisfied sigh, finally reaching behind herself to unzip her skirt, stepping out of it as she scooped up the other pieces of discarded clothing.

“Feeling better?” You asked, following her into the walk in to swap your stained pants to a pair of shorts.

“Much.” She smiled softly at you, pulling a robe from the closet to wrap around herself and you couldn’t help but laugh as her stomach let out a growl.

“Sounds like someone worked up an appetite.” You teased, prodding at her side and she scoffed at you, “why don’t you hop in the shower and I’ll put in for some takeout.”

“Sounds perfect.” She leant in, kissing you gently as she squeezed at your hand, a look in her eyes that you knew all too well, “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

________

@hbkpop @mickey-gomez @red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @altsvu @svulife-rl @svushots @wannabe-fic-reader @bumblebear30 @alexbllake @australiancarisi @cerberus-spectre @emskisworld @ex-uallyactive @dead-of-niight @multifandomlesbianic @dxtery @momlifebehard @poisonedcrowns @when-wolves-howl @godard-muse @itisdoctortoyousir @httpjupiterbby @somethingimaginative17 @alexxavicry @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @dextur @disneyfan624 @svushots @happenstnces @onmykneesformarvel @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @valentinesfrog @noahrex @wittygutsy @chimnlex @i-lovefandom @ralla-ralla @chestnutninny @gamma-rae-bursts

[kryptonitejelly]

nick amaro x reader // law and order SVU

yes, we are going there - what have i done 😭 no plot, really. just a moment.

-

The last thing Nick had expected to find when walking back into the SVU bullpen was you; and yet, here he was, eyes fixed on you as his strides quickened. He notices Fin’s smirk that finds itself aimed his way as he weaves his way between Amanda and Liv to get to you, but he ignores it.

He lets his gaze drag itself over your form, head down on his desk, the lamp on his desk casting a soft glow around your features; the extra suit jacket he leaves hanging on the back of his chair draped over your shoulders. You have a laptop open in front of you, a case file and note pad within reach, all topped off by an uncapped pen lying caged between your curled fingers. He sees the pair of heels which you had shed, one standing, one lying on its side peeking out from under his desk. A dip of his gaze reveals the deep green of the dress which you had on, one of his favourite dresses on you - one that he knew you had worn in to work today in anticipation of Friday having supposed to be date night.

Nick slows his pace as he approaches you, content in the few seconds to allow himself to watch the gentle rise and fall of your shoulders. The sight stirs a mix of emotions in his chest - the swell of emotion that came rushing in whenever he set his eyes on you, and a heavy tinge of guilt. Guilt that he had to cancel the first date night you both had managed to plan after weeks of clashing schedules, guilt that you taken it so well, and guilt that you had somehow found your way here, to the SVU bullpen so that you could both head home together.

Nick drops to a knee, bringing himself to eye level with your face. He raises his hand to cup the side of your face gently. His touch on your skin is light, soft, but it makes you stir immediately.

“Hey,” Nick’s voice grounds you as you let your mind grind to a start, your surroundings shifting into focus. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought we could go home together,” your lips furl up into a gentle smile, voice soft, your eyes, still hazy with sleep, locked onto Nick’s. You forget your bearings for a moment until you hear a cough from behind Nick as various footsteps shuffle into the bullpen. You straighten up slowly, blinking the sleep from your eyes, legs stretching out beneath you as you offer a wave to the rest of the team trudging in.

“An ADA slumming it at Amaro’s desk?” Fin muses, voice joking and light.

“What would Barba say,” Munch follows, expression deadpan.

“Unbecoming isn’t it?” Liv continues with a quirk of one end of her lip.

“What can I say,” you play along, “not all of us have Barba’s flair.”

“Clearly,” Amanda states, looking pointedly at Nick which earns a series of chuckles from the rest of the team and yourself.

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick waves a hand in the air dismissively, but his gaze doesn’t leave you. You tilt your body downward slightly, hands reaching for your discarded heels. Nick notices and he is back on a knee in one fluid motion.

“Nick,” you protest as he places a hand along your calf, his other propping your heel up, helping you back into your heels. You hazard a glance behind your boyfriend, only to find the rest of the team, tactfully busying themselves with their desks. “I’m not Cinderalla,” you state, but with no real protest as you let him guide your other heel back on.

“I’m not your Prince Charming?” He teases, not caring who else heard, giving your calf a gentle squeeze before winking at you and straightening back into a stand.

“I’ll get back to you on that,” you pull a face as you turn to gather your belongings, making quick work of shoving them into your bag with Nick’s help.

“Way to hurt a man,” he places a hand on his chest as you shrug his spare jacket off your shoulders; Nick takes it from you, hanging it back on his chair.

“She could hurt you more” Fin cuts in again with a sing-song voice. It makes you chuckle, as you catch a wink Amanda throws in your direction.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be Detective Tutuola,” Nick asks all while shrugging off the jacket on his shoulders to place it over yours, letting it hang off your frame. He flicks off the light switch on his desk and picks your bag up.

“If I say no, will you let me tag along?”

Your yes comes at the same time as Nick’s absolutely not, and it earns you another series of chuckles around the room.

“Don’t call me till Monday,” Nick calls out, while threading his fingers through yours as he starts to guide you towards the lift. You barely manage to call out a goodbye, before the lift doors shut on you both.

“I didn’t-” your protest is cut short by Nick’s lips on yours, his free hand circling your waist, going over the fabric of his jacket on your shoulders. You let yourself sink into the kiss, hand sliding up his shoulder and behind his neck as the lift descends to the parking garage.

“I’m sorry I had to cancel today,” he says, forehead resting against yours as he breaks the kiss. His eyes are closed, but you flicker yours open as you run your hand from the back of his neck to cup the side of his jaw.

“You have nothing to apologise for Detective Amaro,” you end with the professional term of address in attempt to diffuse some of the guilt you see in his eyes. “Work,” you continue with a light shrug - Nick was a victim of you cancelling on him as well, and you understood.

“I was really looking forward to tonight,” he says, still apologetic as he finally opens his eyes while leaning his face into your palm.

“I can think of a few ways you can spend the rest of the weekend making it up to me,” you say, dropping your voice to a lower, almost sultry tone as you lean into him, pressing the front of your body into his. Nick responds by pulling you in closer, his hand dipping down the hem of his jacket on your shoulders to slide down onto the curve of your ass.

“Take me home Detective Amaro,” you say as the lift door dings open.

“Your wish is my command,” Nick says in response, taking the opportunity to sear another quick kiss onto your lips before tugging you out of the lift.

[teamhappyme]

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

aka the four times you save mike dodds + the one time he saves you

mike dodds x female!reader

word count: 9.3k

a/n: me? keeping mike dodds alive and well in every universe? absolutely. a good old fashioned 4+1 for you folks! this was another labor of love that has been years in the making because I could never string enough good things together - until I did! it's not my best, but it's one of my favorites, and i love writing for this guy! it's a niche character, but one near and dear to my heart. (I refuse to give up my Taylor swift lyric titles so fight me)

****

The first time you saved Mike Dodds, it was from the awful coffee in the squad room. 

It was his first week with SVU, and, let’s just say, everyone is adjusting. He stepped over you while getting the victim’s disclosure, he pursued a lead not pertaining to the disclosure without telling Liv, and to top it all off, Rollins’ sister was behind the whole situation. 

So, it’s been a tense week for everyone. 

After Kim was remanded to Rikers, and Amanda was released from the hospital, everyone could let out a sigh of relief.

You were wrapping up some paperwork in the squad room after getting back from the courthouse, Liv talking with the chief in her office. You could only assume the accolades he was giving his son, while Liv just had to sit there and bite her tongue. You don’t envy the position she’s in right now.

To keep your eyes open a little longer, you made your way to the breakroom to grab a soda. Much to your surprise, you found the sarge at the coffee machine, ready to pour a heaping cup of old coffee.

“I wouldn’t drink that if I were you,” You warned him as you fed a dollar to the vending machine, pressing for a coke to come out. “I guarantee it’s been sitting there since this morning, maybe even last night.”

He nodded, placing the styrofoam cup back on the table. “Thanks for warning me. I’m pretty sure everyone else would’ve let me suffer the consequences.”

“Rollins and Fin would’ve watched the whole thing, but Carisi would’ve ran in to save you. We’re not too fond of perpetuating the newbie pranks, especially on a sergeant.”

You offered him the coke once it came out of the machine, and he took it, giving you a nod of gratitude. He didn’t open it right away, taking a few seconds to fiddle with the tab. 

He looked up at you, looking quite defeated for the confident man that walked in here three days ago. “I’m not trying to step on any toes here, detective.”

“Dodds,” You started, but he cut you off. 

Again.

“I’m the new guy, the new second in command here, and I understand that it’s going to take some time for you guys to warm up to me,”

“Dodds.” You held your arm out in front of you, hoping he would stop talking. “First things first, stop interrupting me.”

He had a sheepish grin, and hung his head. 

“SVU isn’t like the rest of the department. It’s not as simple as getting the statement, arresting the perp, and going to trial. We have to connect with the victim, make sure they feel safe and supported enough to tell their story. And most importantly, we listen to Liv. She gives a masterclass everyday in being an SVU cop.” You paused for a second, taking another look at him. Of course he looked defeated, the welcome into special victims is never an easy one. “Listen, we’ve all been in your shoes. There’s a learning curve, and it takes a minute to get there, but you will. You’ve got good instincts, you’ve got the rank to prove it. You’ve just got to think in another way now.”

You saw the chief exit Liv���s office, and heard the dejected sigh leave Dodds’ mouth.

“I’m not worried about the learning curve. I know I have a lot to learn. What I’m worried about is not being taken seriously.” You looked over at him, and saw that he was locked on his father’s figure, following him out of the precinct. “I know everyone’s worried that I’m the boss’s son, thinking they have to watch themselves around me. But I’m not his puppet, and I’m not here to report back to him. What happens at SVU, stays at SVU.”

“I appreciate that.” He gave you a pointed look, not sure whether or not to believe you, but you only smiled. “Listen, we’re all straight shooters here. I’m not worried about who your father is or how you got this position. Everyone deserves a fair chance, and after these last few days with you, I think you’ll be just fine here.”

Honestly, you were never worried about his placement here. Sure, the rest of the squad was a little suspicious, and maybe gave him a hard time, but he’ll learn his place. And hopefully, they’ll see this guy, honest and vulnerable, instead of the shadow of his father the next time they look at him.

“Thank you. I know you could’ve chewed my head off after that disclosure, so I appreciate your patience.”

You laughed while moving back to the vending machine, getting a coke for yourself this time.

“It was your one free pass.”

“Technically two, since you saved me from the burnt coffee.” He added, walking back to the bullpen. 

“Yeah, next time I’ll let you drink it.”

****

The second time you saved Mike Dodds was after the Lily Evans case. 

It was never easy losing a kid, no matter how many years you have on the job. After three months with the unit, he felt like he hit his stride.

All until today.

It was late when Dodds and Liv came back from the Evans house, looking particularly jaded after informing the grieving parents they closed the case. 

It was business as usual for the next thirty minutes, paperwork was finished, a celebratory job well done for solving something in a timely manner. And just like that, we move onto the next one.

Once Liv emerged from her office, the rest of the squad started to pack up. 

“You going to see Amanda?” Fin asked.

“Yeah, I thought I’d stop by.”

“You know what, she’s been living off takeout. How about we all go up there, and I’ll cook us a real meal.” Carisi interrupted the Lieutenant, Fin in agreement to eat some real Italian food.

The smile on your face was automatic, loving the small moments in your day where there was a little room for happiness. 

“Hey Sergeant, you wanna join us?” You all looked to Dodds, slouched in his chair, the weight of the world resting on his shoulders. 

You’ve all been there before.

“Uh, rain check. Paperwork.” He sat up straighter in his chair, pulling a random file from his desk.

You exchanged a look with Carisi before setting your things back on your desk. 

“I’ll meet you guys up there. And don’t let Fin eat all the garlic bread,” you teased, trying to keep the happy moment alive.  

Once the rest of the squad left, you walked back over to Dodds desk. He continued to comb through the files on his desk, pretending to look busy.

“I know being a Sergeant is a big deal, but there’s no way you’ve accumulated this much paperwork since you’ve been here.”

“Well with all the joy rides you and Carisi go on, you’d be surprised how quickly those car change requests pile up.”

He said with a smile, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. 

“As appealing as that pile of paperwork may be, it’s got nothing on a home cooked Carisi meal. So,” you paused, giving him the opportunity to speak first if he wanted. 

He didn’t.

“Why are you beating yourself up over this case?”

“Lily Evans could still have been alive when we first got to her parents house. If I had taken this seriously, we could’ve got to her and maybe she’d be alive right now.”

“Sarge,”

“And I know I should have listened to Liv, she’s got this down to a science. But I just wanted to-“

“Dodds, what did I say about interrupting me?” You chided, and he held his hands out to you in surrender. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but she was gone the moment she got in the van. It’s not easy to accept that at first, but some of these cases, you have to believe it if you want to get through it.”

“I thought it was going to be an easy transition to SVU. Major Crimes was high stress, kidnappings, negotiations, terrorism, all while having the eyes of the media and the city on you.” He shook his head. “I thought I was doing okay. I was listening to the Lieutenant, I was really learning from her, from all of you really. I thought I was bringing something to the table. But Lily, she was just a kid.”

You placed your bag down on the floor, moving to sit in the chair next to his desk.

“My second case with SVU was the Johnny D take down. I transferred from Brooklyn Homicide, so I thought I’d seen it all. Until I walked into that basement, and found four teenagers and kids locked in that basement as sex slaves. I threw up as soon as we got out of the basement, just barely missed Rollins. I couldn’t sleep for the next week, and when I finally cracked, Liv was there to center me. She reminded me why we did this job, of all the people we help, despite the most gruesome cases we catch. It takes a special cop to work in SVU, and you don’t stick it out, you don’t feel this guilt if you’re not cut out for it.”

He looked at you for a few seconds, not saying anything as he took your words in.

“How do you get up and come back to work every day?” He asked and let out a long breath.

“I took Liv’s advice: go home, talk to someone you love, and don’t make this job your whole life. Easier said than done.” You said with a laugh and he joined in. “But you’ve got your dad, he’s been on the job your whole life. He knows what it’s like.”

“He’s not really the talking type. And I’ve never… failed at something before. He expects a lot out of me here, and I want to prove to him that I’m cut out for this.”

“You’re not failing here, Dodds. Trust me, you’d be hearing an earful from Rollins and Fin if you were. I’m actually really impressed with how you’ve adjusted. We’re not an easy squad to assimilate to.”

“You can call me Mike,” he started, a small smile on his face. 

You felt your cheeks get warm, and you hoped to god they weren’t bright red. 

“Okay, Mike. Then pack up your stuff, cause you’re going to eat the best Chinese food of your life tonight.”

“What about Carisi’s fantastic meal?” He joked as he closed whatever files were open and shrugged his coat on.

“He’ll understand. Now come on, we don’t want them to run out of egg rolls before we get there.”

“Alright, alright,” he joked, running to catch up to you. You waited in silence for the elevator, and you felt a shift in the dynamic between you two. A good shift, one that happens when you finally earn the trust of your partner. 

Mike spoke your name as you stepped into the elevator, and you looked over at him.

“Thank you for listening. It means a lot, to know that you have my back, in the field and otherwise.”

You smiled, gently clapping his shoulder as you responded, “Anytime you need an ear, I’m there. You’ve got a squad of incredible listeners surrounding you now. All we ask is the same in return.”

“You’ve got it.” He added without hesitation.

Mike Dodds was going to be just fine here in SVU.

****

The next time you saved Mike Dodds wasn’t exactly your finest moment.

Mike accompanied you to Gary Munson’s house on what was supposed to be a quiet Sunday afternoon. But after a call from his wife Lisa, saying she was finally ready to leave, your Sergeant graciously offered to accompany you to the house.

No one wanted to be back in the presence of Gary Munson, the rogue corrections officer accused of assaulting dozens of female inmates. The case hadn’t even gone to trial yet and it was already causing a lot of tension in the department, not to mention the DA’s office.

“Dragging me out on a Sunday is pretty cruel, even for you Detective.” Mike commented as you walked up to the Munson house. “I smell egg rolls and fried rice in the near future.”

“Hey, I paid last time. It’s not my fault you have a bleeding heart almost as big as mine and agreed to come along.” You said with a grin as you knocked on the front door.

Dodds had been at SVU just shy of a year now, and since the Lily Evan’s case it sort of became tradition to celebrate the closing of a case with that same greasy Chinese food. Even as the cases took longer to close, the two of you could be found there at least twice a week. It became your place, somewhere to meet when it was two a.m. and a case was keeping one of you awake; on a Saturday afternoon when the two of you had nothing better to do with the time off work; and of course, as a reward for helping each other out whenever they asked.

You waited for a minute before knocking on the door again as Mike walked around to the side yard.

“She calls and says she’s ready to leave, and when we get here there’s no answer?”

“What was her exit plan?” Mike asked, joining you back on the steps.

Before you could answer, Lisa opened the front door.

“Hi,” she began, “sorry for keeping you guys waiting.”

“Is everything okay?” You asked, attempting to take one foot in the door when Gary stepped out into view.

“Everything’s fine here.” He answered for his wife, her body stiffening at his voice.

“Mr. Munson, we're here at your wife’s request.”

“I… overreacted when I called you guys. We’re handling things.”

“That’s good to hear. So, you don’t mind if we come in?” Mike asked, trying to get some control of the situation.

“Do I need to call my lawyer?”

“We’re not here to talk about the case.”

“Oh right, you’re here because Lisa wants to leave me. Forgive me, I’m just a big, dumb CO.”  Gary commented as you shared a look with Dodds. 

He was already spiraling.

“Mr. Munson, we don”t want any trouble.”

“Great,” he replied, opening the door further for you to enter. “Neither do I.”

Lisa let out a deep breath as you entered the house behind her. You watched as Gary talked to their kids, trying to convince them everything was normal, but they were too smart for it.

“Why don’t I go upstairs with her and start to pack.” Lisa suggested as she moved towards the stairs, motioning you to follow.

“No.” He commanded back, causing you both to freeze. “She can stay down here with the kids. You go up.”

This was going to be the power struggle of all power struggles. You walked over to sit with the kids as Mike and Gary went into the kitchen. You exchanged another look with him, and he gave you a small nod. It was okay.

The kids slipped their headphones on as you tried to listen in on the conversation in the kitchen, but you couldn’t hear much. You took out your phone to text Liv, a gut feeling telling you this wasn’t going to end easy or as you planned.

You waited for a few more minutes as Lisa packed a bag for her and the kids before coming back down the stairs.

“Alright, Tommy, Annie, backpacks.” She handed her children their bags as they hugged their dad goodbye.

“Ok kids, let’s go,” you started, trying to shuffle them and Lisa out the door.

“Wait, I don’t get a goodbye hug from Mommy?” Gary asked, now cornering Lisa on the stairs. “Isn’t that the jacket I bought you for your birthday?”

“Okay, we’re going to go now,” you ushered the kids onto the stoop, still keeping one foot in the house as you saw Lisa throw her jacket on the floor.

In one motion, he grabbed Lisa off the stairs, pulled a gun from his waistband, and slammed the front door in your face, kicking you onto the step.

“Gary! Open the door!” You yelled out as you got to your feet, banging on the door. “Right now Gary! Open the door!”

After thirty more seconds of incessant knocking with no response, you turned to find the kids huddled together on the sidewalk.

“Ok guys, it’s okay. My sergeant is just going to talk to your parents for a couple more minutes. While we wait, can you go into your nice neighbors house until I come get you?” You noticed the older woman two houses down standing on the stoop, a young girl and a dog with her.

You walked the kids over quickly while calling this in over the radio. You checked your phone to see Liv had answered your earlier text, and that she was already on her way for backup. She should have just come along in the first place.

Instead of going back up the front steps, you ducked under the bay window to try and get a look inside the house. You could see Munson holding Lisa in a headlock, his gun pointed at Mike as he handed over his own guns.

“Shit,” you breathed out, knowing this was going to end with a gunshot from someone.

You backed away from the window and called Mike, hoping to god that you could try and talk Munson out of this before any patrols showed up.

“Detective, you’re on speaker.” Mike said when he answered, the sigh you let out when you heard his voice was a little too loud.

“Dodds, what’s going on in there? The kids are asking for their mom.”

“Tell them she’s not going anywhere.” Gary piped in, his voice beginning to shake.

“I’ve told Gary that we can talk this through, get him what he wants, what he needs.”

“That’s right, I’m here, listening to you, my Sergeant is listening. Do you want me to call a family member, or your union rep?”

“No, I’m done talking. I want you to get my kids somewhere safe, that is all I need. Now, hang up the phone.”

“Mr. Munson-“ the line went dead before you could finish.

“Dammit,” you ran your hands through your hair, trying to think of a way to slow this down. You ran to the back door, then to the storm door, both locked. He had planned this from the moment he came home. This is always how this was going to end.

Back at the front of the house, you saw Liv pulling up and you ran to meet her.

“What’s going on? I got the radio on the way over.”

“Munson’s holding Dodds and Lisa in the house, he’s armed.”

“You didn’t search him?” She asked, and you tried not to take the agitation in her tone personally.

“Lisa told us there were no weapons in the house, we confiscated his piece already. I was getting the kids in the car when all of this went down.”

“Okay. Is anyone hurt?”

“I spoke to Dodds five minutes ago, and they both seemed fine for now. But he doesn’t want to talk anymore.”

You heard the distant sirens, and you could only imagine the escalation Gary was making inside the house.

“Is there another way in?” Liv asked as the first of the patrol cars made their way down the street.

“Back door and storm door are both locked, I haven’t checked for anything else.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

She ran over to the first patrol car, getting ready to set a perimeter around the street and then the house as the rest of ESU began to roll onto the street. Liv kicked it into gear, ordering everyone around and trying to come up with the best plan of action.

It wasn’t until Finn got out of his car that you ran into action to. You began to debrief the hostage negotiators on your last phone call, and to describe Gary’s demeanor through the entire duration of this visit. You stressed to them that he was no longer in the talking mood, but they were still going to try.

“ESU is going to try to plan a route in. You know the layout, what’s the best way in.”

“Fastest and clearest is through the back door. But, Lieutenant, give me two more minutes to find another way in. If I can get in there, one female cop is better than twelve SWAT guys taking him down.” You asked, trying to prove yourself in an attempt to earn her forgiveness quicker.

She thought about it for a moment before slowly nodding her head. 

“You have a minute to sweep the perimeter again for a secondary entrance. Go.”

You wasted no time in running back through the driveway, past the back door and into the backyard. All the shades were drawn except for one cracked piece, giving you a clear shot to the living room. Munson had a tighter grip on Lisa, his gun still pointed at Mike.

You had to get in there. 

The back windows were locked as well as the doors, but you weren’t going to give up. On the side of the house, you noticed the top window opened the slightest bit, and prepared to go in. 

You pulled a lawn chair over to give yourself a boost, and took a deep breath in. The window opened quietly at first, and you could begin to hear Munson’s voice again. Slowly but surely you got the window open in silence, and you swung one leg in to the kitchen.

You froze for a second, stuck without a view of what was going on in the living room, praying no one could hear you. After a few seconds, you swung your other leg in, quickly getting to your feet and grabbing your gun.

“… maybe your lawyer will plea out, 9 out of 10 corrections officers cases don’t make it to trial.” Mike was still trying to talk him out of it, even with a gun to his face.

You peaked around the corner quickly, making sure no one had moved since you looked through the window.

“Munson, drop the gun!” You yelled out as you entered the room, catching him off guard enough for Mike to make a move. 

Lisa slipped out of Gary’s grip and ran over to you as Mike struggled for Munson’s gun. 

“Put it down, Munson!” You yelled out again, but before you could move closer, a shot went off and Mike went down.

Gary froze, putting his arms up as you ran into action. You kicked the gun away from him as SWAT barged in, all guns pointed to Munson.

“Take him.” You yelled out to them as you turned to Mike, finally able to give him your full attention. You knelt down next to him on the floor, watching as he applied pressure to his shoulder. “Hey, can I take a look?”

He nodded, breathing heavily through his nose. You pulled his hand away as blood continued to pour out, but it was a through and through, thank god.

“It’s a clean shot, Mike.” You said as you placed his hand back over the wound, covering your hand with his to apply more pressure. “Hey, stay with me. The medics are on their way in.”

“You shouldn’t have done that.” He got out with a grimace as Liv led the medics into the house.

“I wasn’t just going to leave you in here.” 

You moved out of the medics way, your hands covered in Mike’s blood as they treated him.

“He’s right. What the hell were you thinking climbing in through the window without any view?” Liv asked, slightly less agitated than earlier.

“I was thinking I’m the one who left him in here.” Her eyes softened the slightest, the way they always do when she cares for someone. “And I think you would have done the same thing.”

“Careful,” she replied, a small smile crossing her face. “You don’t want to end up like me.”

“There are worse people to be.”

They finished wrapping Mike up, and you two followed him out to the ambulance. 

“Detective,” one of the medics called out to you as they loaded him in. “He’s asking if you can ride along.”

You looked to Liv for approval who gave you a nod.

“Keep us updated.” She added as you hopped in the back of the bus, sending her a thumbs up before they shut the door.

Mike fell asleep almost as soon as he got in the ambulance, but the medic assured you he was stable. He had lost a good amount of blood, but given the position of the shot, they were confident he would be okay.

The surgery was quick, and the doctor said it was a routine procedure. He’s been sleeping and recovering in the ICU for a couple hours, and the rest of the squad would be on their way over once he was awake.

“Detective, he’s awake.” A nurse came out to find you, escorting you to Mike’s room.

He was sitting up straight, arm bandaged from shoulder to elbow, but he looked completely unfazed.

“I come out of a workout class looking worse than you do right now. How is that fair?” You said as you walked into his room.

“Well, I regularly go to the gym, so that helps.” You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to smack him on his bad shoulder.

“Ok, hotshot, we get it.” You let out a breath, taking in his hospital state again. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got shot. I know it was a through and through, but God, it hurt pretty bad.” He said with a laugh, only to grab at his shoulder, moving too fast for his new injury.

You thought about what he said earlier, how you shouldn’t have gone in the house on your own. Maybe he and Liv were right. If you hadn’t gone in, without telling anyone, without any backup, he may not have been shot. It could’ve ended peacefully, without any harm to anyone.

“What you said earlier, you were right. I don’t know what I was thinking going in by myself. I put you and Lisa in danger, I got you shot. If you didn’t get the jump on him he could have hurt you two even worse-“

“Stop.” Mike interrupted you, placing his hand on your forearm, gesturing for you to sit down on the side of the hospital bed. “I didn’t say that because I was mad at you. I don’t blame you for me getting shot. You shouldn’t have come in because it could have been you in this hospital bed, with a gunshot wound much worse than mine. And I wouldn’t be able to have that on my conscience, you getting yourself shot for me.”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds, instead you just sat there, looking at the man that you most definitely would have taken a bullet for. And you’re pretty sure he would do the same for you; how terrifying to know someone cared for you like that.

“I’m really glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done…” you trailed off, not wanting to think about what could have happened.

“You shouldn’t have come in, but if you hadn’t, I don’t know if I would be sitting here, relatively unscathed.” he reached over, grabbing your hand in his. “Thank you for that.”

You squeezed his hand in recognition as your eyes began to water, not knowing what to say next.

“Are you sure you want to stay with us in SVU? You get shot twice in one year, that would have most people running away.”

“And let you drink the squad room out of coke on your own? Not a chance.” He replied.

“Good. Joint Terrorism would be too boring for you anyway.” You said with a smile.

“In all seriousness, I feel like I can make the biggest difference here. There’s time to move up the ranks later. Right now, I want to be at SVU, with you by my side.” He admitted, as his hand held onto yours tight.

There was a shift in the air, a conversation the two of you had been avoiding for a few months. It wasn’t the time now, and it may not be for a while, but now it’s out there. And neither of you are going anywhere.

A knock on the door pulled you out of your bubble, dropping Mike’s hand as the rest of the squad came into the room. They greeted Mike, lightly ribbing him about having nine lives.

A hand fell on your shoulder, and you looked up to find Liv behind you. She had a knowing smile on her face, but you knew she’d never ask. At least, not yet.

Instead, you focused on your family in the room, and how grateful you were for everyone to be here, safe and sound.

****

The fourth time you saved Mike Dodds happened off duty.

You agreed to be his date to an NYPD fundraising gala that his father was dragging him too. Mike warned you that they were a long night of politics and fake smiles, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little curious to see how the brass lived.

Unfortunately, Mike hit the nail on the head with the political atmosphere. You’d been at the gala barely an hour and you’d already spoken to two people running for district attorney. If you weren’t listening to someone’s campaign pitch, then you were hearing from the brass how much trouble the SVU squad caused the department, despite the “good work” we all do.

“I hate to say I told you so, but, I told you so.” Mike said while handing you a glass of wine. 

“How many of these has your dad dragged you to?” You asked as he took a sip of his beer.

“Too many. And now that I’ve ruined his dreams by staying at SVU, he’s going to continue to drag me to them as punishment.”

“Well, if the drinks and the food continue to be free, I’ll come to as many of these as you need me too.” You offered.

“First I’m paying for Chinese food, now I’m paying for galas, you’re an expensive date.”  Mike joked as you shoved his completely healed shoulder. He hasn’t let you pay for dinners since he got shot.

“That’s the price you pay for greatness.” You said with a smile, making him laugh. “Is he really still pissed at you for not going to JTTF?”

“The Five-Year Plan has been officially ruined, I’ve been told. I must have really pissed him off if he’s calling Matt and begging him to come home.”

“Your brother?” You asked.

The little brother that Mike had spent his whole life looking out for. He was responsible for him since he was a kid, and every one of Matt’s failures was considered one of Mike’s in his fathers eyes. The last time Mike talked to him was last year, after he picked him up from rehab. He was catching a plane to Mexico City with no plans of coming back.

“He called me last week, asked to help get dad off his back. I guess I’m the new disappointment in the family.”

“Hey, if your dad wants to go play savior with your brother, let him. But don’t let him and his agenda get in your head. He’s no better than these political puppets surrounding us.”

“Speak of the devil,” Mike muttered under his breath, nodding his head behind you.

You turned to find his father, Chief William Dodds, approaching the two of you.

“Hi son,” he greeted Mike with a firm handshake, then turning his attention to you. “Detective. It’s nice to see you.”

“You as well, Chief.” You shook his hand next, resisting the urge to squeeze too hard.

“Don’t you two clean up nice. Most cops that come to these things have no idea how to dress, they’ve spent too much time in the ranks to know what life is like outside of it.” Chief Dodds commented, and you gave a polite nod of your head.

If you didn’t care so much about Mike, or your career, you would’ve chewed his head off right here, right now.

“Well, we don’t have time for all the show business like you guys do, we’re busy keeping the city safe.” Mike added.

“My son, he gets so defensive, takes every comment personally.” His father said and turned towards you. “Mike didn’t tell me you were coming tonight, or else I’m sure he would have asked me to be on my best behavior.”

“Dad,” Mike tried interrupting him, but it was no use.

“But I never thanked you, for acting quickly at the Munson call. If it weren’t for your quick thinking, Mike could have been hurt a lot worse.” You took the compliment from the Chief, but waited for the other shoe to drop; you knew when you were being set up. “Although if you didn’t leave him in there alone with an armed perp in the first place, we could have avoided all of this. Nevertheless, it was handled, and I’m sure you acted just as your Lieutenant trained you to.”

It was no secret that Chief Dodds was not Liv’s biggest fan. He undermined her every chance he could, and he never tried to understand how SVU was different from every other department. Mike being placed as the Sergeant was his way of getting an inside scoop, but boy did that backfire on him.

And once you piss off Olivia Benson, you piss off her whole squad.

“Our Lieutenant is the best commanding officer I’ve had in my time at the department. Ask anyone that has served with her in SVU and they will tell you the same thing. It’s a shame that you didn’t get the opportunity to learn some things yourself. A lot of people hold her in high regard, so I’d be careful what you say about her around here.” 

“And if I were you, I’d watch my tone around your District Chief, Detective. Especially with your Sergeant standing in ear shot. It’s clear to me that SVU has no respect for the chain of command, and it would be a shame for you to learn this the hard way. Mike has already had to deal with the repercussions of being tied to SVU.” Chief Dodds threatened, and you actually had the audacity to scoff at him.

Mike began defending you, but you stopped him, holding your hand out in front of him.

“I don’t scare easily, Chief, and it's going to take a lot more than threatening my reputation to get me to turn my back on Lieutenant Benson and Special Victims. As for your son,” you looked back at Mike, his eyes steady on you the entire time. “Sergeant Dodds has been an incredible asset to our squad, so much so that our Lieutenant wanted him to stay in permanently, which I know is a sore spot for your ego. So you can continue to take shots at me, and my character, because you don’t really know me. But I’ll be damned if you think I’m going to stand here and listen to you drag Mike’s name, and his stellar reputation through the mud because he decided to make his own path. One that doesn’t involve all these fancy parties and pictures that you so thoroughly enjoy.”

Chief Dodds was stunned into silence, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He looked at Mike who also had a stunned expression on his face, but a smile was starting to show through.

“Excuse me.” The Chief removed himself from the situation, moving on to the next party goer with a smile on his face.

Once he was out of ear shot, your shoulders deflated and you turned around to apologize to Mike. 

“I am so-“

“Do you want to dance?” He interrupted you, his smile now fully covering his face. 

It took a few seconds for you to actually hear what he said, and when you did, you couldn’t help but laugh. Clearly, he wasn’t mad about you going off on his father. 

“I’d love to.” 

Mike took your hand and led you to the small dance floor, weaving in and out of older couples dancing the night away to the orchestra. You quickly took in your limited audience, including two Sergeants from your precinct, and the deputy commissioner of communications. He wrapped his arm around your waist drawing your attention back to him.

“You alright?” He asked as you curled your hand around his shoulder.

“Just a lot of people here, watching,” you said as Mike began to laugh.

“You just chewed my dads head off, a district chief, in front of these people, and now you’re scared of them seeing you dance with two left feet?”

“I don’t have two left feet.” You replied, squeezing his shoulder in jest. “I just don’t want people talking about me, that’s all.”

“Cmon, they’ve got better things to talk about than me and you.” 

“If they heard anything I said I’m sure they’ll be talking about the crazy SVU detective for ages.”

“Hey,” he squeezed your waist, drawing your attention back to him. “No one has ever stood up to my dad like that, not for me.”

“Well someone should have. I know he’s your dad and you love him, but that doesn’t give him the right to control your life or talk down on you.”

He shook his head as you continued swaying together, slowing down a bit to match the tempo of the music.

“It means a lot for you to do that. And if I wasn’t so impressed with your outburst, I would’ve done the same for you. I should have.” 

“I’m not worth getting into a fight with your Dad, Mike. Like he implied, I’ve got no real future outside of SVU, not that I’m really looking.”

“You’re worth it to me.” Mike said, eyes locked on your own. “If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have made it a week in the squad. You’ve changed my perspective on a lot, both on the job and off.”

You smiled, lightly ducking your head as you felt the blush creep onto your cheeks. 

“Well you’re not so bad yourself, Dodds. You’ve taught me a lot too, maybe too much. One day I’m coming for that Sergeant’s shield of yours.” You joked, and he threw his head back in laughter. 

It was so nice to see him like this. It was rare to get a moment of pure happiness on the job, and you weren’t sure how honest you wanted to be about changing your relationship outside the precinct.

“As soon as you pass the Sergeants exam, you can have it. You’d be better at this job than me any day.” 

You moved a step closer to Mike as more people stepped onto the dance floor. You’d never seen this many cops dancing in your life. 

“I meant to tell you earlier, but, you look beautiful tonight.” Mike said, trying not to be obvious in looking you up and down. 

You were blushing now for sure.

“Would you take it back if I told you I had to borrow this dress from Liv?” You had panicked last night, not knowing what to wear to a gala, and not wanting to embarrass Mike. 

“Not a chance, extra points for trying so hard.” You laughed as he put some space between you. 

“Mike, I know you’re a show off, but you better not be doing what I think you’re doing.” You warned, but it was too late as he lifted up your arm, gently spinning you underneath him. He smoothly pulled you back into him as a few people cheered for you. “Do you have to be good at everything?”

“Unfortunately, I do.” You hid your smile in his shoulder, not missing the way his hand slid comfortingly over your waist and lower back.

And unfortunately, you fear you could get used to this feeling.

****

The first time you were saved by Mike Dodds was in the middle of a bar fight.

This wasn’t your finest moment, yet you rarely seemed to be on your best behavior around Dodds.

The two of you were undercover in a joint operation with Vice. The bar had been home to an underground gambling ring for years, and a few weeks ago you got credible intel that they may be branching out into sex trafficking.

Three other Vice detectives were in the bar with you as their Captain and the rest of their squad surveilled from an unmarked van outside.

“You want a refill?” Mike asked as you finished your second club soda, trying to hide the sour look on your face from all the bubbles.

“And pretend I’m not choking on this awful carbonation instead of a smooth vodka? No, I’ll pass.”

He got the bartender’s attention and ordered himself another alcohol free beer and a Diet Coke for you.

“Thanks.” You tipped your glass to his and took a refreshing sip before conducting another once over around the space. 

“Simmons is still situated by the door, Ruiz and Lawrence have been under for an hour now.” Mike stated into his earpiece, updating the team outside. 

There was no timetable on this, and as far as Liv was concerned, we were on our own in terms of conducting our investigation.

“This whole joint investigation thing is feeling a little one-sided to me.” 

“Well give it a little longer before doing a lap to check-in with Simmons. If they don’t want to help us, they can tap in two of their guys from outside. Lieu already made that clear to their Captain.” Mike said before taking a sip of his non-alcoholic delight, his face scrunching in discomfort.

“Looks delicious.” You said with a smile, earning a laugh from the Sergeant. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, have you talked to your dad since the gala a few weeks ago?”

“Oh, you mean since that SVU detective tore a Department Chief to shreds?” He joked as you rolled your eyes. “I have, and he was extremely talkative thanks to the fact I avoided him for a week after.”

“Do I owe you Chinese food for the rest of the year in order to keep my job? I should know that my outbursts don’t come cheap.”

“He told me that he was impressed by you.” Mike started, a smile slowly appearing on his face. “He was mostly upset about your blatant insubordination, especially in such a public place, but he was impressed. I think he may even like you.”

“Are you messing with me?” You asked, not fully trusting the relaxed smile he was giving you.

“He asked that I bring you along to the next gala, all of them actually, ‘if it wouldn’t be too much trouble’,” he finished in air quotes, signifying the direct words from Chief Dodds. “My father is impressed with you, and probably wants you to be his next conversational opponent.”

“And what did you say, you know, about bringing me along?” 

You hoped you didn’t sound pathetic, or eager, or anything other than an inquiring friend. But it was hard to act normal when you felt the butterflies in your stomach and your heart rate increasing over the fact that Mike and his dad were talking about you.

“I said I’d have to ask her. Not sure how she feels about spending so much of her free time with the Dodds.” He said before turning in his chair to face you. “But I told him I had a good feeling you would, you don’t just tell off a Police Chief for a work friend. And of course, as long as Liv lets you keep borrowing her clothes.”

“Funny,” you said while shoving his shoulder, earning another laugh from him. It was then that you saw Ruiz head up the stairs, subtly motioning for you to meet her in the bathroom. “Ruiz is back up, I’m gonna go check-in with her.”

You walked straight to the bathroom, having to dodge a noisy bachelorette party on your way. Ruiz was washing her hands when you walked in, and you quickly cleared all the stalls before she began talking. 

She kept it short so that she could get back to the game, but they weren’t getting far on the sex trafficking front. Apparently the boss was going to be here later on, but even then there was no guarantee he would offer anything up. Their investigation, of course, was going to be handled by the end of the night, but there were no promises for us. 

You waited a full three minutes to exit after Ruiz in case anyone was watching her. When you left the bathroom and started making your way back to Dodds, you saw a Blonde woman sitting in your seat, cozying up next to him at the bar. As you got closer, you recognized her from the bachelorette group, a sparkly pink sash giving her away.

“Hey, everything okay?” Mike asked as you joined the two of them.

“Yeah, just a bit of a line in the bathroom.” You said, watching as the new girl continued to look Mike up and down. “Did you make a new friend?”

“I’m Alex!” She jumped in, big smile covering her face as she moved to place a hand on Mike’s arm. “I came up to get a round of shots for my group of friends. It’s Lizzie’s last weekend as a single woman, and we cannot let her be sober for one second of it. But then I got distracted by Mike over here - a guy as handsome as him shouldn’t be sitting alone at a bar.”

“Well, luckily I came back in the nick of time.” You said, hoping she would order her shots and be on her way. 

“I was telling him about our weekend - we’re down here from Albany, we’re not city girls. We’re headed down the street for our next stop, apparently there’s a popular karaoke bar that all the famous people stop in at. I told Mike he should come with us, invite a few of his cute friends along too to keep the party going.”

“I don’t really see him joining you for the rest of your night, Alex, but thanks for the invite.” You replied while taking a step toward Mike, lightly wrapping your arm around his shoulder, hoping she would take a hint. 

“Okay.” Alex said with a chuckle before continuing, “But you should be careful, leaving your man alone in a bar with those pretty brown eyes of his, cause someone’s gonna come up and take him away.”

“His eyes are hazel, actually, they’ve got a little bit of green in them depending on the lighting. I know it might be hard for you girls from upstate to differentiate colors, so I can help you out.”

You never considered yourself to be a jealous person, especially over someone who wasn’t even yours to have. But something about this girl coming up to Mike on this night, after the recent events that have gone down between the two of you, you felt a little protective over him.

“Everything alright over here Alex? Where are those tequila shots?” Another blonde woman with a pink sparkly sash came over to us, checking in on her friend and drinks.

“Yeah, they’re coming. Just trying to tell my new friend here to keep an eye on her boyfriend or he may decide to join the group of pretty out of town girls for the night.”

“Listen, Alex,” you remove yourself from Mike, taking a step closer to the girl who was really ruining your already shittiy night of undercover work. “I don’t know how bar etiquette works at your little townie spot up in Albany, but us city girls like to take the fight outside.”

“Alright, why don’t we just continue our night and let you girls go back to your party.” Mike interjected, feeling his hand on your lower back, steadying you out as Alex only laughed.

You took another step toward her, not knowing what your next move was, before the bartender stepped in.

“You,” he pointed to you, then to the door. “Fighting’s gonna get you thrown out any night lady. You’re done.”

“Thank you, sir,” the girls replied.

Before you could open your mouth to say anything else, Mike was standing behind you, arm wrapped around your waist to lead you toward the exit. Simmons eyed the two of you as you walked out, shaking his head with a smile on his face. You weren’t going to live this down.

The two of you made it down the block before breaking away from each other, looking back to see if anyone followed. When you looked back at Mike, his hands were on his hips, a growing smile on his face. 

“Don’t,” you warned while running a hand through your hair. “Don’t say anything.”

He didn’t, but he couldn’t keep his laughter in any longer. You wanted to yell at him, tell him it wasn’t funny, that there was still an investigation going on, and this was completely embarrassing for you both. Instead, you joined in his laughter.

“Were you really going to fight the innocent bachelorette party from Albany?” He asked through his fits of laughter as you rolled your eyes.

“Of course not. But how else was I supposed to get the drunk bridesmaid away from you so we could continue our surveillance? Offer her more sparkles?”

“Or offer to buy the next round of shots.”

“Now you tell me,” you said as you leaned against the side of the building. “At least we didn’t mess up the whole op, then I’d be in really deep shit not only with Liv but with Vice, and there’s nothing I hate more than owing a favor to a Vice cop.”

He nodded, agreeing with you as he settled in next to you. You knew you should go check in with the Captain, confirm they don’t need you for anything else before leaving the investigation, but you weren’t going to move until Dodds did. And the way he relaxed next to you, you had a feeling he didn’t want to leave any time soon.

“No one ever notices that my eyes are hazel, you know. It’s kind of weird how you hit the nail right on the head with the fact about them turning green.”

You turned to look at him, a little smirk on his face as he leaned his head back against the wall.

“As weird as talking to your dad about your close friend’s gala availability?” You hit back, watching him laugh and nod along with your point. You smiled to yourself for a second, remembering the conversation from earlier. “You’re sure I don’t owe you, he does like me, or at least tolerate me?”

“Do you want to talk about how much my dad likes you or how much I like you? Cause let me tell you, I’ve got him beat by miles, I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone.”

“Mike,” you started, watching as he pushed himself up to stand in front of you.

“Are you really going to look into my hazel eyes and tell me you don’t like me? That you weren’t going to get in a bar fight with a random girl for me?” He asked, and you let out a shaky breath.

“You know it took me a while to figure out your eyes were hazel, I thought they were brown for a while. I’m not some crazy person who just studies people’s eyes all day.” He nodded, trying to hide his smile as he let you finish, “and I wasn’t going to get in a fight with her. Maybe, maybe I would have shoved her, but I wouldn’t have thrown a punch.”

“Well that’s reassuring.” Mike added, and you couldn’t deny him now. Not when he was listening to you ramble on about his eyes, and his father, and all the weird things you two knew about each other.

“I like you too.” You confessed. “And you’re right, I wouldn’t attend galas and tell off police chiefs for just anyone. I’d only do it for you, Mike.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He said while wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close.

Mike’s eyes flickered down to your lips, taking his time bringing his gaze back to your eyes. You felt yourself nod the slightest bit, gently guiding him closer to you. His lips were soft against your own, slow and gentle as you kissed him back. He pulled away for a second, another check-in, before you leaned in again. You let him take the lead as you ran your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, trying not to smile as you felt his teeth graze your bottom lip.

“Sorry,” he mumbled against you, lightly pecking your lips a few times.

“Don’t be, I’m not going anywhere.”

Hours could have been spent lazily kissing Mike Dodds, feeling your stomach slowly build with butterflies. But you caught the smile he was trying to suppress, and it became contagious.

“Well,” he said with a laugh, gently resting his forehead against yours. “I guess you do really like me.”

“I guess so.” You leaned back to kiss him again, not wanting to let him go now that you know how good he feels. His tongue danced across your lips for a few seconds, and you relished in the feeling before slowly pulling back. “I don’t mean to be a total buzzkill, but we aren’t exactly going to be able to hide this for long at the station.”

“We’ll figure it out.” He assured you, gently kissing your forehead. “If some shuffling needs to be done, or conversations need to be had, we’ll take care of it.”

“So your dad may get to move you around after all, how nice.” You said with a laugh, as Mike nodded. If it meant you could be together, and Mike was happy with it, why the hell not. 

Before he could say anything else on the subject, his phone began to ring.

“Please don’t be Liv, please don’t be Liv,” you begged as Mike pulled away from you, quickly answering his phone.

“Hey Lieutenant,” he greeted Liv on the other end of the call and you closed your eyes. This was going to be good. “No, the Captain got it wrong. She got us thrown out for threatening to fight another woman.”

You rolled your eyes as he continued to talk to Liv, pacing the sidewalk trying to set the story straight and wrap up this godforsaken joint investigation.

Mike pulled the phone away from his ear now, walking back over to you.

“She wants to talk to you.” He said, trying to hand you his phone.

“No, she’s going to yell at me in that Liv tone, when I didn’t really do anything wrong!”

You caught his small smile before he gave you a quick kiss.

“Then you can explain that to her.” He said, holding out the phone to you. He kissed you one more time, for good luck and courage, before placing the phone in your hand.

You tried to hide your smile as you took a breath and placed the phone to your ear, ready to plead your case.

“Hey Lieu, I did not get into a bar fight with the bridesmaid from Albany.”

****

[cissyenthusiast010155]

She’s Been to Hell And Back ~S13!Alex Cabot xFem Wife!Reader(feat. Casey, Rita, Liz, Liv & Amanda)

Summary— Alex is kidnapped and tortured. That’s pretty much it. It’s a very long and indulgent fic of Alex x Reader.

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: [MATURE], explicit torture, violence, kidnapping, humiliation, implied torture, angst, anxiety attacks, knife, guns, torture devices, branding, cigarette burns, burning, begging, crying, and so much more mature content, Rita being an aunt and a boss bitch, Liz losing her shit, Munch being munch, Amaro being an asshat, Casey barely keeping it together, read at your own risk!!

Enjoy (;

You stepped into the SVU squad room, looking around at the major bustling and chaos of the room. You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt anxiously, biting your lips and nails as well. You were frozen. You couldn’t process it all. Your eyes then landed on a person who you knew could help.

Casey.

Casey had been the one to call you. She hadn’t told you much, only that you need to come to svu immediately. You had dropped work for this. Left straightaway. It all made you extremely anxious. Why would they need you…? Unless…

You shook the terrible thoughts coming up out of your mind, instead springing into action. You walked up to Casey in the middle of the chaos.

“Hey Case!” You called to the redhead who was swiftly fluttering through pages.

Casey jumped at her name and her eyes shot up to you. Suddenly her gaze softened and she looked at you with concern.

“Y/N’s here!!” Casey shot across the room, and everyone practically stopped in their tracks and looked at you.

You gulped and looked around anxiously, pulling your bag closer to you defensively.

“Case… what’s going on…?” You stammered.

Casey couldn’t meet your gaze. Olivia suddenly came out of the Captain’s office and walked through the squad room, followed by Cragen peeking out of his office, telling everyone to get back to work. The shuffling and bustling immediately picked back up again. The noise wasn’t helping you one bit.

You suddenly felt a hand on your back shoulder, and you jumped slightly. You turned around, relaxing a bit to see it was only Olivia with a warm and caring smile.

“Y/N, let’s go into Cragen’s office, yeah…?” The brunette gently suggested.

After you slowly nodded with parted lips of confusion, Olivia led you by her hand on your back to the Captain’s office. She opened the door for you and closed it behind the two of you. Both SVU members looked tense and concerned.

“What exactly… is going on…?” You tensed out through partially gritted teeth, frustration now hitting you in waves.

Olivia guided you to sit down with her, before she but her lip and explained,

“Y/N… Alex didn’t show up for court a couple of hours ago… We… don’t know where she is. She’s not answering her phone, we can’t track it, it’s dead.”

Your heart sunk. And there was now a limp in your throat. Your heart only raced faster and you suddenly felt dizzy.

Olivia could tell that this was a lot to take in, so she gently held you on both sides of your arms.

“That’s not all…” Cragen sighed.

You looked up at the Captain with glossy eyes and a trembling lip.

“W-what…?” You stammered, bringing your arms into your chest and holding yourself.

“We think Alex was… taken.” He explained slowly.

“W-why would you think that…??” You exclaimed, the anger in you now swelling.

Cragen and Olive exchanged looks. Cragen nodded and relented into the brunettes insistence.

“Come on, let me show you something.” Olivia softly spoke.

She led you outside to the squad room and the media corner. Next to all the screens there was a board. A board of at least 100 photographs. And they were all of Alex. Alex and all the people she interacted with. You were on there, and so was Olivia, and Casey, and Rita, and Liz, and Amanda, and so on.

The pictures were practically Alex’s entire life since she’d been with you. This was years of photos. Some of them looked like they could have been snapped by a news reporter outside the courts. But others, much more intimate pictures of the two of you, could have only been captured by active camera surveillance.

You gasped, bringing your hand to your mouth, as you let out a choked sob that you couldn’t contain anymore. Your stomache sunk. You proceeded to collapse on the floor, and were lucky that Amanda was right by you. The Southern blonde was quick to scoop you up and guide you to take a seat in her desk chair.

She then tried to talk to you, but your mind was spiraling. Suddenly a big boom of stacks of paperwork falling across the squad room brought you back to reality with a jolt.

“Y/N? Y/N, there you are, ‘hun. Hey. Heyyy. It’s going to be okay, alright…?” Amanda reassured you.

“But h-how… do you know that…?” You choked out, the tears continuing to pour out.

At that, Amari and Fin walked into the squad room.

“It’s out lucky day! Perp’s blood was at the scene, that girl put up a fight…!” Amara exclaimed, not having realized that you were there.

You immediately stood up and turned to face Amaro. Nick’s eyes went wide and his face struggled to give away the fact that he knew he had fucked up.

“What scene? What…?? What happened??” You exclaimed with a gasp, frustration and anger running through your veins once more.

Amanda pulled you towards her and into her embrace. Her touch calmed you a little, but right now, you really needed it to be Alex’s touch. After a minute, her hug actually and surprisingly helped.

“Thanks…” you muttered.

Amanda shrugged and smiled lightly, as if it was nothing.

“Learned that in Atlanta, had a partner who had anxiety attacks.” The blonde told you, “It’s a grounding thing.”

You listened and nodded along. But your mind quickly started to wander back to Alex again.

“Wait what scene? Do you know where she was taken…??” You asked.

Amanda sighed and stood up, telling you to wait here. She checked in with Cragen in his office, before coming back to you and grabbing her keys.

“Come on, let’s go for a ride.” Amanda told you, indicating for you to follow her.

You gulped and nodded, silently following the Southern blonde with your wobbly legs. You two got into her patrol car, and she began driving. The ride was silent. You had now become numb, your feelings too much to bear. You didn’t want to go down the rabbit hole of what could go wrong… So you stayed in the ignorance of feeling numb.

After about 15-20 minutes, Amanda pulled up to you and Alex’s shared brownstone. You gulped as your eyes widened as it began to click for you.

“This is…” you stammered, trying to find the words.

“Come on, Darling. I’ll explain inside.” Amanda gently reassured you, squeezing your left hand caringly, before getting out of the car.

You followed the blonde detective up the steps of your brownstone and inside. No one was here anymore. But it was a mess, all taped up with crime scene tape and marked with evidence markers and such. It made your stomache flip upside down when you saw blood on the kitchen doorway.

“What Amaro said, that asshole… was that Alex didn’t go down without a fight…” Amanda explained, taking your hand in reassurance as you walked through the torn apart apartment.

“Alex managed to make her kidnapper bleed.” Amanda breathed out.

At that you looked at the woman with wide eyes.

“So you can find out who they are?” You immediately asked.

Amanda bit her inner cheek and looked way slightly.

“Yeaaa ideally yes… but we already ran it, and he’s not in the system…” she explained.

Any and all hope that you had just gained was lost all over again. Amanda squeezed your hand again in reassurance.

“So what’s next…? What can I do?” You asked, desperate to do anything, to get her back, to see her again.

“First, we are going to walk through your place and go through the events, at least what we know. See if any of it jogs your memory of like someone who would want to harm Alex…” Amanda breathed out.

You shuttered and nodded slowly.

“Then when Olivia and Cragen give the go ahead, I’ll take you back to svu and Olivia will properly interview you…”

You gulped, yet nodded again.

“Ok, let’s do it…” you breathed out.

Amanda nodded and guided you by your hand, walking you through the scene. All your feelings came crashing back as the blonde detective walked you through the theory SVU had of what happened.

Alex hadn’t even left for the office yet, having not needed to go in as early that day… You and already left for work, when someone had come to the door. Alex must have known the person, because she let them in (or they had a gun). The main struggle was in the kitchen. SVU assumed that Alex had most likely tried to reason with whomever the perp was, but it went south in the kitchen. Alex’s blood was on the counter, in a circular mark that upheld that the assailant had violently cracked Alex’s head down upon the counter. There were also blood splatters of Alex’s going from the kitchen and out the door, by the amount and pattern of the blood, it was assumed that the assailant had shot Alex somewhere in the leg, but hadn’t hit a major artery or vein. Luckily, on the kitchen doorway, there was Alex’s bloody partial print, but there blood wasn’t hers. The theory was that before the shooter had incapacitated her, she got a swing or two in, and then when he dragged her out, she made one last attempt to grasp the doorway, leaving the perps blood.

Your heart was pounding in your ears three times as fast as earlier. Tears were pouring down your face and you hadn’t even realized it. Amanda squeezed your hand tighter, as she asked you if it sounded like someone you knew or if it triggered any memories.

“N-no… Mm sorry…” you gasped out in between sobs.

The Southern blonde now came in front of you and took both of your hands.

“Don’t be, you did so good, Y/N.” Amanda comforted you, before receiving a ding on her phone and checking her notifications.

It was Olivia telling Amanda to bring you back. You spent the car ride opposite of the last, filled with all the emotions. You were distraught, and sad, and afraid, and angry, and infuriated, and so much more. Your head was swimming, no drowning it it all. You just wanted a break. You wanted Alex safe in your arms.

Amanda led you back into the squad room, passing you off to Olivia with a reassuring smile. Olivia took you into the family interview room, one that was less jarring than the brick and mortar perp interview/confession rooms. She had you sit on the couch next to her.

“Y/N, Amanda told me that you couldn’t think of anything at the crime scene…”

“Don’t… call it that…” you sputtered, having cried yourself out in the car and now hicupping instead.

Olivia sighed, “Of course, I’m sorry— At your and Alex’s home…”

You had your hands clasped in your lap and you were rocking back and forth anxiously. The brunette detective reached for your hands with her hands and tried to physically comfort you, but you jerked in response, starting to hyperventilate. The brunette detective was quick to retract and stick with her interview questions.

“Besides what you didn’t think of at the crim— your and Alex’s place— Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt you…?” Olivia prodded gently.

You shook your head and then hiccuped. Alex had her hair share of criminals who didn’t like her, but nothing she ever found concerning enough to share with you.

“Alright, what about anyone following you recently…? Notice any reoccurring faces…?” She asked.

You thought about it, going through your last months, if not years in your mind.

“I… don’t think so, no…” you stammered, with two more hiccups.

“Alright… Can I get you some water?”

“Yes please…” you whispered, not being able to handle the eye contact, so you simply shut your eyes.

Olivia muttered something with a hum, letting go of your hands, and leaving the room with the door ajar. You just sat there, with your eyes closed and shaking in your boots. You could hear the noisy clamor of the squad room from the ajar door. It was still just as chaotic, if not more. Tensions were high, and fuses were short.

Before Olivia could come back with your water, a familiar voice boomed while entering the squad room.

“Who the hell didn’t inform me about Alex going missing, and why the fuck did I need to find out like this?!”

You immediately stood up with a jolt, scrambling into the squad room to see Rita standing furiously in the middle of the room, while holding up a manila envelope with her name on it. Calhoun’s determined scowl faltered as she noticed you in the corner. She immediately lowered her mask of defense lawyer and rushed over to you.

Her hands were all of over you, checking to see if you were okay. They landed on each side of your face, as her concerned gaze looked at you.

“Hey Baby… How are you holding up…?” She asked, her eyes still scanning you up and down, before landing on your gaze when she expected an answer.

But all she got was a choked sob from you, your tears now back in full swing. The older woman immediately pulled you in for a hug, which you happily accepted. She hugged you tight and with fierce love, you could feel every fiber of her being that cared through the embrace. When Rita let you go, you wheezed and little and whipped your tears away.

Olivia had by now gotten your water and caught wind of the commotion, now coming up to you and Rita. Rita sent daggers to the brunette detective, making Olivia stop a couple feet away from you.

“What’s in the envelope…?” Olivia quipped, before extending her hand with your water in it.

Rita took the water, examined it, then gave it to you, instructing you to drink, before she considered answering Olivia. When she did, her eyes went sad. The main SVU members had surrounded the two of you, all curious as to what Rita had brought. She opened the envelope and pulled out a hard drive.

“Aha! My area of expertise…!” Munch exclaimed, taking the hard drive from Rita and going over to the media corner to open whatever files were contained within the stick.

You went to follow the rest do the team to see what was on the file, but Rita grabbed you by your arm before you could get too far. You turned back to Rita and looked at the woman who had been your mentor, aunt, mom, practically everything with confusion and glossy eyes.

“ ‘Hun, you may not want to see that…” Rita sighed with deep sadness in her eyes.

She had already seen it.

Your eyes hardened and you frowned. You quickly pulled your hand out of Rita’s grasp.

“Like hell I won’t…” you exclaimed, then turning around and walking up behind the team who were all gathered around Munch who was about to click play on a video file.

Rita came up behind you, her eyes staying on you the entire time as the video played. She watched your face whiten, watched your face wash over in horror, then a wave of anger. She watched your shock, then followed by uncontrollable sadness and tears.

Alex was in the centre of the screen, tied up and hanging by her wrists around a rusty metal bar running along the wall. Her head was hanging low. Her hair frazzled and tired. Her clothing was dirty, torn, and bloody. There was a light sway of her body as it hung from the beam. Her shoes had been discarded. The bottom half of her her stomache was on display, as her shirt was being strained from the position. Her left lower leg was bleeding, presumably from the gunshot from the struggle at the brownstone. Her forehead was all bloody from the blow to the counter.

Suddenly, a person stepped into the frame. They were wearing all black and had their face and voice masked. He had some kind of black colored weapon, almost baton looking in his hand. He laughed wickedly into the camera, before turning his attention to Alex.

“As I can’t torture all of you, unfortunately… One will have to do…” The man tilted his head as he turned on the stick and plunged it against Alex’s exposed side stomache with a cackle.

Alex’s body convulsed and jolted uncontrollably as she was she was hit with volts and volts of burning electricity. She let out a desperate groan, which turned into a silent scream as tears poured down her face, as she fought against her restraints and against the volts. After a couple solid seconds of this, the man finally retracted the insane taser torture. As he moved the torture device back, Alex’s freshly burned skin could be seen, a fresh branded circle on the side of her stomache. The man proceeded to repeat this process for multiple rounds. And the whole time, Alex fought and screamed and convulsed, as tears ran down her face and shirt. Finally, after five burning rounds, Alex passed out. And the man stopped, looking to the camera with a grin.

“No point if the bitch isn’t awake…” He chuckled wickedly, “And that was only Act 1… Dedicated to Detective Olivia Benson…”

Rage was quick to take over your enter being, all the sadness quickly forgotten. You nearly assaulted Olivia right then and there. But Rita saw this coming, and she was quick to hold you back as you attempted to pounce on the brunette detective across from you.

You scowled and fought back, the team all taking a step back from you, all of them just as shocked as you were. But Rita held you firm.

“Shhhh, Baby, it’s okay… Calm down…” Rita cooed into the shell of your ear, “It’s going to be okay, it’s not Olivia’s fault…”

After a couple seconds, Rita managed to get you to promise to not punch the older brunette detective in the face. So she let you go. You huffed and didn’t know what to do. You were hit with another wave of sudden sadness.

As you were having your life crisis, the team began speculating and conversating about what they could learn from the video and how they could find Alex. You weren’t able to focus on them or anything anymore, everything started to just fade away into black.

When you woke up, you were in Rita’s lap, back in the family interview room. For a split second, you felt at peace’s and then reality smacked you back in the face. Rita was beginning to tell you that you had passed out when you began to freak out.

“Hey, Hey. It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe, it’s okay.” Rita comforted you, as you sat up startled and distraught.

“N-no it’s n-not… Alex my Lex she’s… she’s…” you choked out, hyperventilating.

Rita was quick to take you into her arms on the couch and comfort you. She ran her fingers through your hair, she rubbed your arms and hands and side, calming you as best as you could.

“Hey. We are going to find this sycko who did this… ok? The team is on it…” Rita insisted and ensured you, “Take some deep breaths for me, Baby…”

You nodded shakily, your entire body shaking in Rita’s arms, as you took some deep breaths. You began to doze off in the woman’s arms, Rita was quick to encourage you to not fight it. And so you dozed off…

You awoke startled once more by a shriek echoing through the squad room and into where you and Rita were. You practically fell off the couch and scrambled out to the squad. Rita was swift behind you. Your eyes fell on Casey, who now had a Manila envelope in her hand with her name on it.

“Where did you get that??” Olivia questioned the redhead.

“I… a junior officer dropped it off… I don’t know, sorry” Casey stammered, handing it off to Olivia who opened it.

“Fin, Amanda, go find that junior officer, maybe he can give us a lead on this guy.” Cragen told his team.

Fin and Amanda nodded and left the room at once. Olivia had found another hard drive, having passed it to Munch to analyze. Rita’s eyes widened as Munch went to press play, and she tried to pull you away once more, but you only pulled away from her and to the screen with more ferocity. With a click from Munch, the video began…

Alex was still in the same position. She was awake again. But barely. Drool was coming from the sides of her mouth as her head lolled down. Her breathing was heavy and labored, affecting her entire body as it hung from the rope attached to her wrists and around the beam.

The man then came back into the camera screen. He held a knife in his hand this time. After taunting the camera, he stalked up to Alex, his free hand roughly grabbing and wrenching her blouse open. The buttons clattered to the floor as the perp moved the torn blouse aside, showing off Alex’s black bra and exposed chest and stomache.

Alex seemed to barely register anything until the knife began slicing her chest. She let out a howl at the pain, deep enough to hurt, but not deep enough to kill. He continued these slices, along her stomache, along her clothed arms as well, and all the way up to her shoulders and neck. He seemed to only be egged on by Alex’s groans and cries, which very quickly turned into begging and pleading for him to stop. Once the man reached her neck, he held the knife firmly along her throat, before speaking. The dozens of cuts all bleed into one another, practically covering Alex’s entire upper body in blood.

“Act 2 is not as bad, because you just sucked at your job…” The man sneered, “But trust me, the next one… I’d be surprised if the bitch doesn’t die… Dedicated to Rita Calhoun.”

Your knees buckled and you collapsed on the floor as Alex let out a particular blood curteling scream in the video. Tears streamed down your face as you couldn’t bring yourself to watch the rest of the video, the audio already taunting you enough. You felt your body go limp and you began to slouch and fall from your knees to the ground completely.

“Turn it off! Off!!” Rita yelled enraged, before dropping to the ground with you and comforting you.

Munch turned the video off, but not before the man was able to dedicate the video to Rita. Rita’s eyes widened and her throat went dry. The whole team stared at the two of you. Rita was dumbfounded at what this had to do with her, but she was quick to spring into action over it.

“Novak. Take Y/N to the diner down the street. She probably hasn’t eaten all day.” Rita commanded the room.

Casey’s eyes widened, and she immediately nodded in understanding.

“Of course, Rita.” Casey said, hurriedly coming over to the two of you.

You tried to protest as Rita handed you over to Casey, but Rita was stern and quickly silenced you, not that you could say anything right now with how overwhelmed you were. Casey was quick to file you out of the room.

You didn’t even remember leaving SVU or getting to the diner, all you remember is suddenly sitting with Casey looking at the late lunch menu. You were shaking and fidgeting like crazy.

Casey reached her hand across the table and squeezed your balled up fist reassuringly. You looked up to the redhead with your stained and now completely dried out eyes, having cried it all out for the second time today.

“Hey. Let’s get you some food, huh…?” Casey hummed.

You nodded slowly. The waitress came, but you couldn’t hear a thing. Casey looked at you with care and understanding, ordering for the both of you. Then once the waitress had left, her attention was on you once more.

“C-Casey…?” You whispered.

Casey leaned in and softly spoke,

“Yes…?”

“How… how are you okay…?” You whispered, a single tear rolling down your cheek as you blinked, “She’s… she’s like your best friend and you hers…”

Casey sighed and squeezed your hand again.

“Y/N, look at me.” Casey hummed, her tone breaking in a falter.

You finally looked at Casey again, and took in her appearance. You suddenly noticed the tear stains on her face and how crazy her long, normally well curled hair was.

“I am not okay. I just… suck at showing my emotions…” Casey explained gently, her own eyes beginning to gloss over as she became more vulnerable.

Your lips pressed together and you smiled lightly, nodding in understanding. You gasped slightly as you felt your phone vibrate once in your pocket. You then felt another vibration. Then one last final third vibrating. You pulled your hands into your lap, away from Casey. The redhead looked at you concerningly.

“Everything okay…?” Casey asked.

“Mm yea… just… need the restroom…” you muttered, before getting out of the diner booth and going to the back where the bathroom was.

Casey nodded, watching you leave, before getting on her phone and updating the team, as well as getting updated by what they had figured out. She let the team know that you were doing okay and that she was about to feed you. She sighed and let out a light groan, trying to process the weight of what was happening, while reading the update from the group chat.

Munch had analyzed the background of the video, having figured out that Alex was being kept in some warehouse. Which one, they had no clue.

Fin and Amanda had gotten no leads from the junior officer, apparently the envelope had been given to him by a homeless looking guy who disappeared as soon as he dropped off the package at the precinct.

Rita, Olivia, and Nick had been spending their time looking over old case files and anything that connected Olivia and Rita along with possibly Alex, in hope to find a perp or bad guy who got away somehow and wanted revenge.

When Casey was done being caught up, the food had come. But you were still in the bathroom… The redhead grew suspicious, getting up from the table and walking to the back of the diner to the bathroom. She knocked on the door, but received no answer. Quickly, she tried your cell. Straight to voicemail.

~~

As you stepped into the bathroom, you couldn’t shake the terrible feeling about the texts, so you locked the door and immediately opened your phone. The texts were all from one unknown number.

Y/N L/N.

Then a video link.

Act 3. Elizabeth Donnelly

You didn’t even click or see the video. Not yet. You saw Liz’s name and couldn’t think of anything else. Liz would know what to do. She always knew what to do.

You carefully escaped from Casey’s gaze and hold out of the back of the diner, rushing to catch a cab to the DA’s office where Liz would most likely be. The ride wasn’t too long, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to press play on that video. Liz would know what to do. She always did.

Once your reached Liz’s office, you didn’t even knock, simply barging in. Liz was talking with a few DA’s, and she was about to dig into whoever interrupted them, but then she saw your state.

“Leave. All of you, now!” Liz ordered, shooing the attorneys away.

You quickly shut and locked the door behind you. Liz looked you up and down.

“Y/N, what is going on…?” The older woman spoke firmly.

You were hyperventilating again. You could sit, you were pacing. But you had to tell her something. And you tried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain. Liz stood up, recognizing the signs of an anxiety attack, and coming over to you in concern. She guided you to sit with her on her office couch, asking you again, more softly this time,

“Honey, what’s the matter…?”

You let out a choked sob, bringing out your phone and clicking the video. That was the only thing you could think of. Liz watched your every movement. You pressed play.

Alex was hanging as in the last video, but her blouse was completely gone. Her breathing was shallow and barely there, but she was still alive.

The man showed back up, coming up to the camera to say hello, before quickly turning his attention to Alex once more with the same knife as before in his hands. He grabbed Alex’s chin and pulled her face to meet his gaze. Alex tried to growl and fight back, but the exhaustion on her face was evident. He had probably drugged her up real good so that she didn’t stand a chance… While the man held her face rough with one hand, his other with the knife sliced her bra into pieces. He then let her face go with a smack! before tearing the bra off her body. The vulnerable whimper that Alex let out was distinct. And it only fed into the man’s fantasies. He then bent down to her bottom half and ran the knife down her side, followed by his hands ripping her skirt open. He wrenched that off her as well, throwing it aside. Alex was now left only in her panties. She closed her eyes and went limp, as the man trailed the knife in between her legs and up against her clothed core. He then moved to her thigh and ripped her underwear off with a snap! until she was fully nude, hanging for everyone to see. Another hopeless whimper left Alex as the man suddenly smacked her ass.

Before the video could finish, Liz slammed the phone down onto the ground, effectively pausing it. Your eyes went wide and you looked at the older woman with an open mouth. She looked horrified. But Rage was quick to replace the shock.

“What?! Liz wait—!!” You exclaimed as the blonde stood up and shook her white knuckle fists.

Liz turned back to you, looking you directly in the eyes.

“What in the actual fuck is going on, Y/N?!Why in the hell are you making me watch my daughter be tortured by some psycho???” Liz shrilled.

“Lower your voice!!” You harshly whispered, swiftly standing up and getting in her face, and effectively shutting Liz up for a second with how stern you and suddenly become.

“Then you better goddamn tell me what is going on…” Liz growled.

“OK—” you exclaimed, placing your hand on your forehead and sighing.

You say down again as the overwhelming sadness hit you once more.

“Lex… was taken… didn’t show up in court…” you stammered, “Guy’s been sending… videos…” you choked up.

Liz then picked up the phone from the floor, sitting back down next to you in silence for a moment.

“How many?”

You were jolted out of your grief by her words.

“W-what…?” You stammered.

“How many videos… did he send…?” Liz spoke, trying to sound in control but her own tone faltering and cracking a little.

“This is the third. He usually talks about it in the video…” you said quietly.

This made Liz look at you and then back to the phone. She turned it on and clicked play again. You both sat in anticipation as the video continued.

Alex’s bloody, bruised, and now completely exposed body came back on screen, right where it had left off. Alex flinched as the man smacked her ass a second time.

“Shut up Bitch!! Take it, We all know you want it!!!” The man jeered, before smacking her ass a third time and then grabbing and fondling her tits.

Alex tried to pull away from his touch, she tried to yell or cry or shout, but she found that her body was not taking orders from her mind anymore. Her body had gone limp. But she could feel everything. She could see everything in her line of sight. She could hear everything.

When she went completely silent, unable to protest anymore, the man cackled again, louder and more taunting than ever. He then proceeded to come up to the camera.

“Now, I’m not gonna show you this next bit… I’m going to save that for when you find her dead body… But Act 3 is dedicated to that bitch judge, Elizabeth Donnelly…” the man jeered.

The video then went static for a second. Then the camera came back on and showed an unconscious Alex Cabot, swaying lightly back and forth. Where her body wasn’t sliced and cut, it was bruised. Where her body wasn’t bloody, it was covered in dirt, like it had been thrown at her. The faint and small outlines of cigarette burns were trailed across both of her arms and thighs. Her mouth was filled with an oozing her own blood, as if 100 fists had hit her. And her right tit was branded with a symbol, difficult to make out. All of this and so much worse would be discovered had been done to her…

The video ended and silence took the room. Suddenly you heard crying. You looked over and Liz was hunched over and crying in her lap. You weren’t sure what to do, haven’t ever seen the powerful, older woman so vulnerable before. You just instinctively wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t… didn’t know what to do… I thought if I came to you…” you rambled, now feeling guilty for having brought this to Liz.

“Hush… none of that… ssnot your fault.” Liz breathed out in sniffles, accepting your embrace and pressing into you even more, “I know she’s not… my real daughter but if anything happens to her… I… I don’t know what I’d do…”

You two sobbed in each other’s arms for a while. It was only when someone came banging on Liz’s office door with no sudden warning that the two of you jumped apart and off the couch. You went to unlock the door and storming in came a furious Rita.

Rita wouldn’t even hear it from you. She took your phone immediately. All the way back to the squad room, the car was silent between the three of you.

Casey had figured out that you had run away, and she had immediately called SVU. They had divided and conquered all the places they thought you’d go. And the second Liz wasn’t answering her own phone, Casey knew that was where you had gone.

Back in the squad room, Munch began analyzing your phone. You sat in one of the detectives chairs, fidgeting and bouncing your leg, under Rita’s intense gaze. She had made you tell the team everything that had happened. She was not going to let you slip away again. Over her dead body.

Liz immediately threw a fit and started ordering people around. After looking at the files that Olivia and Amara had compiled, it took her five minutes to put it together. Liz found a perp who had escaped jail, whom Olivia had interrogated, Rita had represented and lost, She had judged, and Alex had prosecuted and won.

The second the team had their perp, they began canvassing possible areas. The man leased a piece of warehouse property near the river as it was discovered, so that’s where everyone rushed to go to.

Everyone was on edge.

“I’m gonna go!” You exclaimed to Rita.

“No you are not!!” She shrieked back.

“Why not?!! She’s the love of my life!!!” You yelled, tears running down your face as you screamed.

“Because she might be dead, Y/N!!!!”

Practically the entire squad room went silent at this. They all stared at you and Rita. But quickly, they all began their work again, and the team ran out to the location to find Alex. Both Rita and Liz held you back as you fought to get outside and in a squad car. But they held the upper hand. You collapsed in both of their arms, desperate and exhausted, completely out of energy.

~~

The team did indeed find Alex, although she was barely breathing. They immediately sent her to Mercy’s, where Rita and Liz already had you there waiting. You sat in the waiting room, in between the two woman, shaking and fidgeting restlessly.

Hours went by with no update. Eventually, it was all too much for you. You leaned against Rita’s shoulder for some comfort and before you could stop yourself, you were falling asleep.

~~

“Y/N, love, wake up…” Liz gently woke you, making you snort lightly as you came back to reality.

She was offering you a hand, which you eagerly took to stand up. The nurse came up to you.

“You may see her now. One at a time please.” The nurse told the group of you.

Everyone looked at you and pretty much all agreed in unison and with mere looks that you would be the person going in to see her first.

You entered the hospital room, and immediately came up to Alex’s bedside. You felt relief wash over you that she was here with you and that she was okay. You held one of her hands as she came to.

“Mmm heyyyy…” Alex said in an extremely scratchy and hoarse voice, her head turning slowly towards you.

Tears of joy began to spill out and down your cheeks. You squeezed your wife’s hand lovingly.

“Hi Lex…” you whispered, “How are you feeling…?”

“Like someone pumped an entire pharmacy through me…” Alex groaned lightly, “mm pretty sure I was drugged… most of the time I couldn’t move or speak…” her tone got sad and overwhelmed, as tears started to form on her sapphire eyes.

“Hey hey, it’s okay.” You comforted Alex, who met your gaze again, smiling at the sight of you, “You’re safe with me now, that’s all that matters…”

Alex lightly squeezed your hand now as she smiled. It would be a long road to recovery, but the important thing is that you would be with her every step of the way.

Her squeeze on your hand faded, which you just attributed to the blonde being tired. But then her eyes closed… and then you couldn’t hear her breathing. You jolted when the heart rate monitor started going off.

Suddenly, there were 4-5 hospital staff members in the room, pushing you aside. You stood in the corner of the room, with your hands over your mouth, silent tears flooding down your face. You heard the designated coding sound come from the machine, and you collapsed onto the floor. Everything went numb.

You could vaguely hear a nurse giving you her condolences. You didn’t even reliaze that you were walking out of the room until you stood in front of the group that loved Alex the most. You were violently shaking, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Liz was the first own to come up to you, to see what was wrong. And Liz was the first one to understand… You fell to your knees and cried into your hands, not caring anymore. You’d lost the love of your life, your wife, your everything.

Liz looked more emotional and out of control than she’d ever been. She kept stammering that it couldn’t be true, but once a doctor came out and told the entire group the news, Liz let out a distraught wail, covering her face in her hands as she sobbed. Casey immediately buried herself in Liz’s embrace which Liz of course accepted. The last thing you remember about that day was Rita coming up to you and embracing you on the floor…

~~~

Alexandra Cabot Masterlist

Olivia Benson Masterlist

Casey Novak Masterlist

Elizabeth Donnelly Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Rita Calhoun Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Amanda Rollins Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

[maximoffcarter]

I'll be here.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.

Warnings: Mention of shooting.

Summary: Casey Novak was censured after a Brady violation. She felt ashamed of what had happened so she decided to push everyone away. Little did she know that destiny had other plans, and she crosses paths once again with the one and only Alexandra Cabot.

A/n: A surprise fic on a random Friday? Yep, definitely😌 A soft (and angsty) Calex fic, there was an episode that helped me think of this idea (also we not liking Kim Greylek here as usual) and @saurgaeee also helped create this. Though yes...it does have angst. I’m slowly recovering and I had this in my drafts, so I decided to post it, and I promise the rest will come (eventually😭) and I’ll do an update of fics that are coming next week🫶🏻 Keep the requests coming you guys! Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻 (not proofread)

*not my gif*

Casey Novak had made it her mission to not let anyone intimidate her once she started in Sex Crimes. Going to Law School, the last thing she expected was to end up where she was at the moment. After working with Mary Clark, she really thought that she wanted to be like her and if she could stay with her, her life would probably be easier. Working in White Collar had definitely taught her a lot, but the things she learned in Sex Crimes were beyond her knowledge. Of course she knew it wouldn’t be easy, she knew what she was getting herself into, and after trying to talk to Branch the first time, she knew there was no way out, and to be honest, she didn’t mind. She knew the squad saw her as someone tough and that really didn’t care about the victims, but she did, she really did care for them, she cared about the case, she wanted to get them the justice they deserved, she’d do anything for them, even if it meant getting herself in trouble.

But the last thing she expected was to go beyond her limits and get to the point where she had risked her career for a case that still ended up going to the trash, no matter how they had handled it, she knew the case would end up going bad for them and there was nothing they could’ve done to fix it. And yet, she risked her job and her license, and here she was now; sitting at the bar after standing for an hour or so before the bar listening to them talking about the lack of professionalism that she had in this case, and that she was lucky enough to not lose her license, they were taking in consideration something that Elizabeth Donnelly had told them, and that was the only reason she was still given a chance to keep her license, but…she would be censured for three years. She honestly expected worse after the conversation she had with Elizabeth, she expected them to really take away her license, but thankfully they didn’t.

Now she was sitting at the bar thinking of all the decisions she had taken in the last few years, trying to figure out what she was supposed to do next. What was she supposed to work in? She was lost, she was confused as to why she let this happen to her; what was done, was done. She had to pay for what she did, even if the consequences destroyed her. The squad had tried to call her to find out what had happened, even Elizabeth had tried to call, but Casey couldn’t bear the thought of telling them that she was not coming back to SVU, someone else would tell them, they’d have another ADA. After five years of working with them, there would be a new ADA, and she really believed that she’d work with them until she couldn’t do it anymore. But this was on her, and no one else. She asked for another drink, maybe the fourth or fifth, she had lost count of them now, but she didn’t care. She had nothing better to do anyway. For a moment her eyes registered the whole bar, knowing this was a bar that the squad normally came to, and she hoped she wouldn’t find anyone here, but then her eyes landed on someone; a blonde. She frowned as she tried to focus her eyes, the drinks now getting to her. It couldn’t be, could it?”

“Casey Novak.”

Casey’s eyes widened a bit as Alexandra Cabot stood right in front of her. “Alex…you’re back.”

Alex chuckled softly as she nodded. “Yeah, well…I was missing New York and I thought that it was finally time to come back.” She grinned. “May I sit with you?”

Casey nodded. “I’m here on my own so…some company won’t hurt.” She grinned as she looked at Alex, resting her head against her hand. “So, Alexandra Cabot is really back.”

Alex nodded as she smiled. “Sort of.” She looked at Casey. “I’m helping McCoy with some cases right now.”

“Are you making your great comeback to SVU?” Casey smiled, even if it hurt her to ask the question.

Alex frowned. “Why would I? They have you.” She grinned.

Casey sighed as she looked at her drink and shook her head. “Not anymore, Cabot.” She finished her drink and placed the empty glass in front of her.

Alex looked at her with a confused look, completely lost. “What do you mean?”

“I was censured for three years.” Casey looked back at Alex with a serious look. “Brady violation.”

Alex tilted her head. “Case…”

“I did this to myself, Alex. No need to feel sorry for me.” Casey offered a sad smile. “Liz is right…I lost perspective.”

“She did this?”

“I mean, I’m sure Petrovsky talked to her, and then Liz decided that it was for the best. I’m sure she thought that if I got away this time, then I’d do it again, and she couldn’t allow that to happen.” Casey looked down at her empty glass and shrugged. “I deserve it, Alex. I shouldn’t have done this. And either way…things went bad.”

Alex grabbed Casey’s hand on hers, making her look back at Alex. “You did what you had to do, Casey. This job…sometimes we cannot help it, and we do the things that we think are right. And I’m sure you did this for a good reason.”

Casey shook her head as she felt her eyes getting teary. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now, Alex.” She whispered softly.

Alex sighed softly as she stood up, wrapping her arms around Casey, hugging her tightly. “I’ll be here, Casey. You’re not gonna go through this alone.”

********************

Alex had been quiet on her return to Manhattan, she had agreed with McCoy that she’d be helping him with some cases, ending up working in appeals. She had made sure that her comeback hadn’t been the big deal around the office or out of the office, still not ready to let the squad know that she was back just yet. She had heard that there was a new ADA, there were rumors going around her own office about Sex Crimes, and as much as she wanted to know them, she knew that there was no point in getting involved in any of that. She also knew that if Casey ever found out that they were talking about her and now getting involved in talks about the new ADA, would hurt her. Alex had spent most of her time checking in on Casey, after work, she always headed back to Casey’s, for dinner, for movie night, to go out to drink, anything that kept Casey busy. For the first four months, Casey had decided to give herself a small break and had decided to just spend some time for herself going to therapy, Alex being the only person to know what Casey was doing with her life. Alex had tried to convince her to not push away people, she knew that she hated the fact that she didn’t have anyone when she was away, but Casey made it clear that she was just not ready to talk to them.

Now, six months later, she was helping Mary Clark in whatever she was able to do. It was at least something and it would keep her busy and distracted. She had to admit that finding Alex that night at the bar had saved her in so many ways from drowning in her own sorrow, Alex kept pushing her and kept her from falling, and she was so thankful. Both women had created a routine that at first annoyed Casey a little because she knew that Alex just didn’t want to leave her alone and she wanted to keep checking on Casey every possible chance she had, but she loved it. She loved having Alex in her apartment, she loved having her company, she loved seeing how hard Alex tried to keep her smiling and laughing, even if that meant that she had to make a fool of herself…she loved Alex.

It was obvious before, when she was working at White Collar and heard about the famous Alexandra Cabot, she admired her. And then running into her every now and then, developing a crush had been impossible to avoid. Finally being able to meet her when she was back to help them with the Connors trial, and being able to spend some time with her, really did get her crush to be more solid and Casey wished every single day that she had been brave enough to say something but then, Alex was gone again. Now having her in her apartment every single day was a bit of torture as she didn’t want to say anything that could ruin what they were building. Casey definitely needed someone in her life, and that someone was Alex, and she was not about to lose her for some stupid feelings.

“Case?” Alex asked as she closed the door behind her.

“Living room!” Casey sighed as she typed something in her laptop, her brows furrowed as she stared at the screen.

Alex chuckled softly as she walked into the living room, smiling. “I suppose you got yourself a hard job?”

“Just doing some research and trying to put everything together to send it to Mary.” Casey sighed again and then looked up at Alex. “Was expecting you later.” She smiled.

“Well, I got done with work before I thought, so I decided to bring some take out and show up earlier.” Alex smiled as she sat down beside Casey, looking at her laptop for a moment. “I think I should hire you to do our research for us. At least for me.” She grinned, looking back at Casey.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully and closed her laptop, putting it aside. “Please don’t. I have enough with what Mary asks me to do to.” She huffed a chuckle and shook her head. “She’s so happy I’m working with her again, and I’m just wondering when it’s going to end.”

Alex tilted her head as she smiled. “It’ll be over before you know it, Case.”

Casey looked back at Alex and smiled. “I know.”

“And I’ll be here to see the day it happens.” Alex smiled as she placed her hand on Casey’s squeezing it tightly.

Casey stared at Alex for a moment, trying to form the words for her the question she wanted to ask. “Why are you doing this, Alex?”

Alex frowned. “Doing what?”

“Being here with me. Supporting me. Pushing me so I don’t fall. We barely knew each other before, and now…we spend every day together.” Casey smiled a little, trying to hide the fact that she was happy about it.

Alex smiled and shrugged. “I know I hated to be alone back when I was in Witness Protection. I know it’s a completely different thing but…I don’t want you goin through this alone, Casey.”

Casey nodded softly as she smiled. “Thanks.”

Alex took a deep breath as she looked down at their hands. “There could be another reason, though.”

Casey frowned as she stared at Alex. “Elizabeth didn’t ask you to look out for me, did she?”

Alex huffed a laugh as she shook her head, looking back at Casey. “No, she didn’t. She doesn’t know I’ve been seeing you, she just knows I’m back.”

“Then, what is the other reason?”

“I don’t think I can tell you. I…I don’t want to ruin what we have.” Alex offered a sympathetic smile.

Casey’s heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Alex, unsure of what Alex could mean but also hoping that it was what she thought. “Nothing could ruin it, Alex.”

“I’m not sure about that.” Alex looked back at their hands, sighing softly. “Casey…”

“Say it, Alex.” Casey said softly, her eyes searching for blue ones.

Alex took a deep breath as she stared back at Casey. “At first…it was because I wanted to be here for you. For you to not go through this alone. But…” she huffed a chuckle. “I always had this…crush…since the first time I saw you.” She grinned. “I was just never brave enough to say it, and then I had to leave again. And seeing you in that bar…I thought it was my chance.” She shrugged. “I don’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of the situation, I mean…I really do care about you, and I don’t want you going through this alone and I-“

“I have feelings for you too.” Casey suddenly snapped, a faint smile on her face.

Alex frowned, unsure if she had heard Casey right. “You do?”

Casey smiled softly, thinking about what she could say next, but then she decided to do something instead of using words. She wetted her lips before she leaned in and placed her hand on Alex’s neck, bringing their lips together. Alex gasped softly, letting go of Casey’s hand, her eyes widened for a second, not sure what she was supposed to do now. Casey felt that Alex was not moving and thought that maybe she had made a mistake, so she pulled away, but before she could fully move back to her spot, Alex’s hands went to Casey’s waist and pulled her into her lap, her lips attaching to hers again. Casey couldn’t help but smile against her lips, her hands tangling in Alex’s hair while Alex’s hands went up and down her back, pulling her closer. The kiss was slow and tender, until Casey’s tongue teased Alex’s bottom lip, making her moan softly and giving her full access. They finally parted ways as air became a necessity, resting their foreheads against each other’s, smiling and chuckling.

“Bold of you to not use words.” Alex teased as she chuckled, looking at Casey as she smiled.

Casey shrugged. “Sorry, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” She bit her lip as she smiled, her hand stroking Alex’s cheek. “So now you see that you’re not ruining anything.”

Alex’s smile widened. “I know that now.” She sighed softly, her hand sneaking under Casey’s shirt and tracing patters in her skin. “Are you willing to try this?” She whispered softly.

“I’m in if you are.” Casey smiled softly. “I…have not been with anyone in years. I’m scared but…I do wanna try.”

“I won’t hurt you. We’ll figure things out together.”

Casey nodded. “We’ll figure things out together.” She smiled as she leaned in to kiss her lips again.

********************

“So, you’re our ADA temporarily?” Olivia asked as she leaned over her desk, crossing her arms as she stared at Alex.

Alex nodded as she smiled. “Temporarily. Unless until they get a new ADA.”

Olivia nodded. “I’m glad it’s you and not Greylek anymore.”

“Was she that bad?” Alex grinned.

Olivia sighed. “I mean…sort of? She did her job but…we couldn’t handle her.” She shook her head. “She talked badly about Casey.”

Alex sighed. “What did she say?”

“’Those days are gone since Casey Novak lied to a judge and got disbarred.’” Olivia scoffed. “She’s lucky I didn’t slap her. I was so close to it, but she left.”

“She’s lucky I wasn’t here.” Alex rolled her eyes. “No one talks about Casey like that.”

Olivia stared at Alex for a moment but nodded. “Yeah. She was out of line, and I failed to protect Casey…again.” She shook her head. “We should’ve protected her.”

“Liv, she did what she did for a reason, and if she didn’t want to drag you guys with her, it was her decision. It was out of your control.”

Olivia nodded. “I know.”

“Does Elliot know about this?”

“I don’t think we’d want to know what Elliot had to say about it.” Munch shrugged. “But we definitely didn’t agree with Greylek.”

“No one ever did. We played it cool for our own sake.” Fin shook his head. “Like Olivia said, we would’ve done something for Casey.”

Olivia huffed a chuckle. “No, I didn’t tell him. He’d have gone off.”

Alex shrugged. “It wouldn’t have been bad, you know?” She grinned.

Olivia chuckled. “Well, he doesn’t have to know about it, she’s long gone now.”

“I’d have definitely told Elliot.”

“Tell me what?” Both Olivia and Alex turned back to find Elliot just a few feet away from them, a frown on his face. “What?”

Alex stared at Olivia for a moment and hen back at Elliot. “Not my thing to say, but Olivia does have something to say.” She grinned as she crossed her arms.

Olivia looked back at Alex and sighed. “I-“ she turned back to look at Elliot and shook her head. “It’s really nothing.”

Elliot raised his brow. “Right…I don’t think I believe you.”

Alex sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Greylek talked shit about Casey, and Olivia was ready to slap her, but she escaped.” She shrugged.

Olivia slapped her arm playfully. “Alex! Seriously?”

“What did she say?” Elliot frowned again, walking to both women. “Did she insult Casey?”

Olivia sighed. “Not exactly, I mean…she made a comment about Casey getting disbarred and that things had changed around here since she was not here anymore.”

Elliot took a deep breath. “Was it just that time?”

Olivia shook her head. “No.”

“Ah, I see you have a new ADA. Alexandra Cabot is back.” Kim walked to them and offered a smile.

Everyone turned to look at her, not expecting to see her back. Elliot turned to look at her and sighed. “You thought it was okay to talk badly about Casey?”

Kim frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Casey was part of us. Whatever you had to say about her, we don’t care. You have no right to talk shit about her.”

Kim scoffed. “She did something illegal. She deserved to be disbarred.”

“She was not disbarred, I don’t know where you got that from.” Alex snapped as she stood beside Elliot.

Kim stared at both of them, scoffing again as she shook her head. “Well. It’s what she deserved after what she did. If they let her walk without any consequences, then she’d have done it again. If she wants to do that, she can be a defense attorney, because that’s what they do. Oh, wait.” She laughed. “She cannot do that, because she doesn’t have her license, right?”

“You bitch.” Alex said under her breath.

“You don’t even know why she did what she did. Was getting her office not enough for you? You gonna drag her name too now? What are you, a fifth grader who’s so insecure that you need to drag people down to feed your ego?”

Alex looked at Elliot. “She got Casey’s office?”

“I only said the truth. What are you so mad about? Are you sleeping with her or what? Do you miss your girlfriend here?”

Alex turned to look back at Kim, giving her the stare that would definitely kill her if she could. “I am sleeping with her! Is that a problem for you?! You think you’re so perfect to say those things about her?! She has the highest conviction rate, you bitch!” Olivia wrapped her hands around Alex’s arms stopping her from going to Kim.

Cragen walked out of his office as he heard his squad and the attorneys yelling at each other. “That’s enough!” Everyone stared at Cragen, calming down. He looked at Kim. “I think you should go.”

Kim nodded and looked at everyone. “I’m sorry.” She simply said before she walked away.

Alex sighed heavily as Olivia let go of her, running her hand through her hair. “I can’t believe her.” She shook her head.

Munch frowned and turned to Alex. “You and Casey?”

Alex’s heart stopped at the question, turning to look at everyone who were already staring at her. “Uh…what did I say? I didn’t-“

“You said you were sleeping with Casey.” Olivia raised her brow as she grinned.

Alex gulped as she nibbled on her lip. “I uh…” she clears her throat. “I don’t recall saying that.”

“Oh but you did.” Fin smirked as he nodded.

Elliot then turned to look at Alex, frowning. “You’re sleeping with Casey? You’ve seen Casey?”

“I- uh. I just had to stop her from talking, that’s all.”

“Right.” Munch laughed.

Cragen looked at Alex and sighed. “Have you seen Novak?” Alex turned to look at him and nodded softly.

“How is she doing?” Olivia asked softly.

Alex sighed. “Guys, I don’t think it’s my thing to say anything, I-“

“C’mon, Alex. We just wanna know how she is. She never answered us.”

Alex nodded softly as she looked back at Elliot, smiling. “She’s doing okay. And yes…we’re dating.”

Olivia smiled. “That explains it all.”

Alex huffed a chuckle. “We uh…we ran into each other when I came back, and from there, we just started hanging out daily.” She shrugged as she smiled. “From there, it just developed into a relationship, and we’re both happy. She moved in with me.”

Elliot smiled. “But she’s not ready to talk about what happened.”

Alex shook her head. “No. She’s not. But she’s okay. She’s working with Mary Clark, keeps her busy.” She sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

“We get it. But let her know…that she’s missed.” Cragen nodded as he offered a smile.

Alex smiled softly. “I’ll definitely let her know that.”

Elliot walked to Alex. “Please…tell her that we’re here for her. Whenever she wants to talk?” He said almost in a whisper, a hint of sadness in his voice.

Alex smiled and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll tell her that.”

********************

“You’re back.” Casey said softly as she smiled, opening her arms as Alex walked inside their bedroom.

Alex chuckled softly as she kicked her shoes off and crawled into bed, getting on top of Casey, and leaning down to kiss her lips softly. “Hi.” She smiled.

“Hey.” Casey smiled against her lips, placing her hands on Alex’s cheeks, and bringing her down for another kiss. “How was your day?”

Alex sighed as she laid on top of Casey, burying her face on Casey’s neck. “It was okay.” She grinned. “A bit hectic.” She huffed a chuckle.

Casey frowned. “Something happened?”

“Yep. We almost killed Kim Greylek.”

“Was that the ADA that replaced me and that you’re now replacing?”

Alex nodded. “Indeed.”

“Why would you do that? And who else was gonna kill her?”

Alex chuckled, sitting down so she looked at Casey but staying on her lap. “We found out that she was talking about you, some bad things. Elliot found out too.” She grinned. “He went off on her, and she fought back but…Elliot and I stopped.” She shrugged.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Oh my god.” She chuckled softly. “Baby, whatever she had to say, it doesn’t matter.”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t want anyone talking shit about you. Whatever happened, no one should say shit about you.”

Casey smiled softly as she sat down, wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist and leaned in kissing her jawline softly. “You’re cute, you know that?”

Alex wrapped her arms around Casey’s neck and shrugged. “I know.” She smiled.

“I love you. Thank you for protecting me.” Casey smiled.

“I love you more.” Alex smiled as she kissed her lips softly. “Also…the squad wanted me to tell you that…you’re missed, and that they’ll be there for you for whenever you want to talk to them again.”

Casey sighed as she nodded. “I will. Eventually.”

Alex smiled, running her hand through Casey’s hair. “I know you will. I told you, there is no rush.”

Casey smiled. “Thank you.”

“Take a shower with me?” Alex bit her lip as she smirked.

“Are you telling me I smell bad?” Casey raised her brow.

Alex laughed. “I just want to take a shower with my girlfriend.”

“To save water, right?” Casey grinned.

“To save water.” Alex smirked.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Right.” Casey wrapped her arm securely around Alex’s waist and moved to stand up with Alex still in her arms.

“Case!” Alex laughed as she wrapped her arms around her neck and her legs tightly around Casey’s waist, hiding her head on Casey’s neck.

“What? We’re gonna go shower.” Casey laughed as she stood up, her hands under Alex’s thighs to hold her and walking to the bathroom.

********************

“Do you know if Cabot is out of the trail?” Munch asked as he looked at Olivia.

Olivia shrugged. “Not sure, she said she’d come as soon as she was done, so she could be here any time soon.”

Elliot picked up his phone and yawned, shaking his head. “Stabler.”

“I’m sure they’ll find him guilty, there is no way they’ll let him walk free.” Fin sat on his chair as he looked at Munch. “Cabot wouldn’t let that happen.”

“We sure know she wouldn’t, but it’s not in her hands after all.” Munch shrugged.

“Wait, say that again.” Elliot got up and frowned, his chest heaving as he listened to what the other line was saying. He snapped his fingers at anyone who would look at him. “Call Novak.”

Fin frowned as he looked at Munch and then at Elliot. “What?”

“Call Casey!” Elliot yelled as he brought back his attention to the phone. “Where was this? Are you sure about it?”

Olivia frowned as she looked at both Munch and Fin grabbing their phones, and then she looked at Elliot. “Elliot, what’s going on?”

Elliot covered the phone and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “There was a shooting in a store. They were holding the people inside as hostages…”

Olivia shook her head. “What does that have to do with Casey?”

“One of the victims…was identified as Casey.” Elliot said almost in a whisper.

Olivia’s heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Elliot. “Oh my god.”

Fin sighed as he shook his head. “How are we gonna tell Alex?”

“Tell me what?” Alex walked to them and frowned as she saw the worried faces. “Who died?”

“Uh…” Olivia  looked back at Elliot who was still on the call trying to get an answer to see if it was Casey or not.

Alex looked at all of them and shook her head. “Everybody forgot how to speak or something? What’s going on?”

“Elliot is in a call right now…there was a shooting.” Olivia said calmly.

Alex nodded. “Okay…aren’t you supposed to go investigate? You want me to do your job too?” She joked as she looked at Olivia.

“Alex…” Elliot whispered.

Alex looked at him. “What?!”

“They identified a victim. The name’s Casey.”

Alex stared at her for a moment, her heart sinking as she tried to process Olivia’s words. “What?”

“We don’t know if it’s her, Alex.” Elliot said as he looked at her.

Alex felt herself starting to panic, trying to take a deep breath. “Is there…where? Where did it happen?”

“They’re still trying to get the shooter out. They just know there are victims who were shot.”

“Anyone tried to call her?!” Alex stared at Munch and Fin.

“No response.” Munch simply said.

“Okay…uh…I’m…I’m going h-home.”

Olivia looked back at them and then at Alex. “I’m coming with you, let’s go.” She grabbed the keys and followed Alex to the elevator.

The whole ride they were both quiet, Alex trying not to panic as she looked out the window. She had tried to call her to her phone and to the house’s phone, but there was no answer. Casey had told her that she’d go out to buy some stuff and to see Mary, but when Alex called Mary, Mary had said that she had already left, and she hadn’t heard from her. She could feel Olivia’s eyes on her, and Alex tried her best to hold back tears. Elliot was right, they didn’t know if it was her. They didn’t know if it was her Casey. It could be anyone else, there were so many people called Casey. They couldn’t have known so easily that it was Casey who had been shot. There was no way to know, not if the cops were still outside trying to get the shooter.

“Alex…” Olivia whispered.

“How is it possible that they can’t fucking say anything? They call and they…they don’t have official information. And she’s not answering the fucking phone.” Alex snapped as her eyes started getting teary.

“Honey, you need to calm down. We don’t know for sure that is Casey.”

“What if it is my Casey?” Alex turned to look at Olivia, tears already rolling down her cheeks.

Olivia looked at her for a moment and then focused her eyes back on the road, sighing. “No. She’s too stubborn to just die and leave you, Alex.” She offered a faint smile.

Alex huffed a chuckle, wiping away her tears. “And she’s too stubborn to let me know if something happened to her because she doesn’t want me to worry.”

“She just loves you, Alex. She’d call if something was wrong.”

Alex nodded softly as she looked out the window again, trying to stop thinking the worse. Once they got to her building, they decided to take the stairs, too desperate to wait for the elevator. Alex got her keys out as fast as she could and almost kicked open the door, walking inside the apartment, she dropped her bag and started yelling Casey’s name.

“Case?! Casey, are you here?” Alex went into the living room, the kitchen and to every room.

Olivia’s phone went off, pulling it our of her pocket and answering. “Benson.”

Alex almost sobbed as she walked out of their room. “She’s not here, Olivia.” She walked to Olivia and stared at her, noticing that Olivia was staring blankly at the floor with the phone still in her ear. “Olivia?”

Olivia hung up and looked at Alex. “Alex…we need to go to the hospital.”

Alex shook her head, covering her mouth. “No…Liv. Please-“

“We need to go, Alex.”

********************

Turns out that to their bad luck, the shooting had happened in the store that Casey had decided to go to. She got shot and she had been unconscious the whole time, bleeding out, so once they got inside the store to get the victims out, Casey had lost way too much blood already, they had barely gotten a pulse, rushing her as fast as they could to the hospital. One of the cops had recognized Casey, but then was told to not confirm anything yet, even if they knew it was Casey. They pulled the bullet out, and Casey was now in intensive care…in a coma. Alex had tried to understand everything that the doctor was telling her, but she was lost, she couldn’t focus on whatever they were saying, she only wanted to see Casey, she wanted to be with Casey; her Casey. She had almost fought the nurses that didn’t want to let her go in to stay with her and Olivia had to talk to Alex to calm her down. But now here she was, sitting beside the bed looking at her girlfriend with a lot of cables on her. This was not happening, not Casey.

“Case…” Alex whispered softly, grabbing Casey’s hand, and bringing it to her lips to kiss it. “I don’t know if you can hear me. The nurse…I’m not sure if she told me to make me feel better or because you really can hear me. She said I could talk to you.” She felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared at Casey. “Casey…please, wake up. I need you to come back to me. I cannot lose you.” She sobbed. “We’re all waiting for you. I’m waiting for you. I need you. I…I was so happy when we gave each other a chance, I really thought that I wouldn’t be able to have that chance with you, and then you kissed me.” She chuckled sadly. “Remember? You…you kissed me, and god I was in heaven when you did.” She stroked the back of her hand and stared at it for a moment. “I already knew I was in love with you. I was scared to admit it because I thought it was too soon, but I just knew.” She looked back at Casey. “And I knew that I didn’t want to live this life without you. So please…please…come back to me.” She sobbed. “I need you, Casey.”

The squad tried to switch every now and then with Alex so she could have a break and go eat something or just to get some fresh air. But Alex didn’t want to leave Casey’s side, she wanted to be there in case she woke up, she just wanted to stay there the whole time. 2 more days passed, and they said everything looked good so far, but she just needed to wake up. Elliot had begged Alex to go home and get some sleep and that he’d be there, but Alex had been too stubborn and almost fought him that she would not leave the hospital to go to sleep. Elliot decided to drop it and they all decided to stay outside to let Alex stay inside for another hour. Alex talked to Casey, trying to tell her how the squad was a pain in the ass, but that they were so happy that they could see Casey again. Branch, Elizabeth, and Mary had paid their visits, also trying to convince Alex to go home, but they’d have to fight her to go home, so they didn’t push anymore. Alex laid her head on Casey’s arms as she stared at her; she missed her voice, seeing her smile, her laugh, she missed kissing her and holding her. She just wanted her Casey back.

“Alex.”

Alex opened her eyes, sitting up and looking at the door but there was no one there. She frowned as she tried to stretch, and then her heart stopped when she heard her name again. She turned to find Casey smiling at her.

“Casey…”

Casey smiled. “Hi baby.”

Alex’s eyes got teary, sobbing softly. “Casey. You’re awake.”

“Seems like it.” Casey chuckled softly. “I don’t even get a kiss?”

Alex chuckled softly as she stood up and carefully placed her hands on Casey’s face, kissing her lips softly, smiling against her lips. “You’re awake.” She chuckled softly as she rested her forehead against Casey’s. “I missed you.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“2 days. Almost 3.”

Casey sighed. “I’m so sorry, baby. I wanted to call you but…”

“You got shot in that moment.” Alex whispered softly.

Casey nodded. “Yes.”

“You remember everything?”

Casey nodded again. “I do.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry if I scared you.”

Alex smiled sadly. “You didn’t just scare me.”

“What you mean?” Casey frowned.

“The whole squad is outside waiting for you. Branch, Liz, and Mary came yesterday.” Alex smiled. “They all waiting for you.”

Casey smiled softly. “They do miss me.”

Alex chuckled softly. “They do.”

“Can we wait a bit longer though? I just want to be with you.”

Alex smiled as she nodded. “Sounds good to me.” She leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

********************

“Hey! Look who’s here!” Elliot smiled as Alex and Casey walked into the squad room.

Casey chuckled softly. “Yes, I’m back on my feet. I’m just glad I didn’t need to wear a cane again.” She grinned softly as she looked at Alex, who had her arm wrapped around Casey’s waist carefully.

“Oh, that’s because I’m your cane? Very funny.” Alex chuckled.

Olivia smiled. “We’re just glad you’re okay, Casey. And to see you back here.”

Casey sighed. “Well, I’m still not back. You got this one for another while if she decides to stay and keep my place.” She grinned.

“Oh, the place you took from me first? How nice of you.” Alex smirked.

“Who would’ve thought, Novak and Cabot together. Can’t say I’m not in for it. I’ll be waiting for the wedding invitation.” Munch grinned as he laughed with Fin.

Alex blushed slightly, turning to look at Casey. “Uh…we’ve just been dating for a little over a year guys. Don’t get too ahead of yourselves.”

“You saying you don’t wanna marry me?” Casey raised her brow.

Alex cleared her throat. “Uh…I didn’t mean that. I-“

“Alex Cabot blushing and nervous. What do you do to her, Novak?” Fin teased, making the squad laugh.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “Cut it.”

Elliot laughed. “Hey, we were thinking about going to eat, all of us.” He walked to Casey and smiled. “You’re not getting rid of us again, Case.” He winked at her and then went ahead to grab his coat.

Casey sighed softly as she smiled, looking back at Alex. “Shall we?”

Alex nodded. “Also.” She saw the squad walking out and then turned to look at Casey, smirking. “I do wanna marry you, someday.” She leaned in to kiss her lips softly and smiled.

Casey blushed slightly and started walking with Alex still holding her. Everything had started like shit, but things had definitely gotten better, and she couldn’t wait for her future with Alex.

[naturesapphic]

Hi! I have an Olivia Benson x reader request, if you want to change it up that’s cool too!

Reader and Olivia are out on field, in this case to a multi story high business building, following up on leads. Reader doesn’t ever take elevators, she gets triggers to past events. She never wanted to disclose this to the squad, they always pass it off with how she’s super fit already. This time Olivia scolds her out of climbing flights of stairs. Reader was tense on the way up and unlike herself, Liv notices but doesn’t put any emphasis on it. On the way down the power cuts and elevator halts…

Fears of Elevators

Olivia benson x fem!reader

Warnings: fear of elevators, hurt/comfort, Olivia being a complete softy

“Ugh! I hate men! I can’t believe he didn’t give us any information and had the balls to hit on me!” You exclaimed to your girlfriend Olivia who is also your partner in the SVU after Elliot left. You knew her when she was in the academy and was close friends with her which later led into a relationship that’s been going on for four years now. When Elliot left, Olivia was heartbroken. Olivia considered Elliot a close friend and it hurt her that he left. When he left, you offered to take this opportunity to work with your girlfriend. You got the job and from there y’all were the best team out there.

She chuckled and gave you a look “you shouldn’t be that surprised now.” She explained and you sighed in understanding. “That’s true.” You replied back as y’all were walking down the halls in a multistory building that was filled with elevators all around, with a couple of stairs that you immediately took a liking to. You were about to take the stairs again for the third time until Olivia pulled you back on your arm gently. ��Y/n. Please stop taking the stairs, you are wearing yourself out and we need as much energy as we can until we catch this son of a bitch.” She explained and you groaned loudly with made her raise her eyebrow at you. She never understood why you liked taking the stairs when there was a perfectly good working elevator waiting to be used. She just thought it was good exercise for you but these stairs were long and she didn’t want you to be tired and worn out already.

“Please livia…I just like taking the stairs.” You tried to explain but liv was pushing you gently towards the elevator and you sighed in defeat, letting her guide you toward it. Once you the both of you were in, you immediately held her hand, seeking comfort. Olivia gave you a corned look but nonetheless gave you a gentle smile and rubbed her thumb over your knuckles. Everything was going smoothly until the elevator abruptly which made your heart sink. “Shit. The elevator is stuck. I’ll call Elliot and munch.” She said and she whipped out her phone calling them to let them know about the situation they were currently in. While Olivia was getting help, you were panicking the fuck out. You knew you should have taken the stairs but you realized that Olivia would be all alone and you couldn’t imagine that, but you were still freaking out.

You tried to calm your breathing but it was no use. The lights went out and you whimpered out which got Olivia’s attention quickly. She hung up the phone, telling them to hurry their asses up and quickly got your hands in hers and looked in your fear written eyes. “Hey hey baby. It’s okay. What’s wrong? Breath.” She said softly and you couldn’t make a sound besides heaving breathing. She realized that you weren’t gonna talk, there’s no way you could right now, and decided to gently get you sitting on the ground and she immediately went behind you so your back was against her chest. She put you in her lap and moved you to where you were being cradled like a baby and she gently took your shaking hand and put it on her heart. “Breath with me baby. It’s okay. I’m here. Follow my breathing.” She coached you with a quiet voice and you were slowly following her breathing and after seven minutes your breathing was slowly going back to normal.

“Thank you livia…” you said quietly and she gave you a small but genuine smile. “Of course sweetheart. Anytime.” She said as she leaned down to give you a loving kiss on your forehead. “Now. Would you like to tell me why you are scared of elevators?” She asked and you started fidgeting with Olivia’s fingers and she kept giving you kisses on your head. “It’s okay baby. You don’t have to tell me just yet if you aren’t ready.” She explained and you smiled softly but shook your head. “No no…I’m ready…” you said and you went on to tell her the story on how your mom and sister was killed in a elevator accident. You were only 10 and staying with your grandma while your mom and sister went to do some errands. When you found out what happened you never ever went on elevators again.

“Oh babygirl…I’m so sorry…now I know why you never really talked about your mom and sister.” She replied and you nodded your head yes. When you were about to say it was okay, the lights flickered back on and the doors of the elevators were opened revealing the cops and the svu team along with captain cragen. Olivia helped you stand on your feet and you immediately rushed out of the elevator, relieved to get the fuck out of that thing. Olivia was close behind you but was stopped by cragen and Elliot. She explained what happened but didn’t go into full detail, leaving that up to you to tell them and they respected that. You went back over to them and let them know that you were okay and was just happy to get out.

The team left shortly after, leaving just you and Olivia again. Olivia came to you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders. “Let’s go home baby. Cragen said we can have the rest of the day off but we have to be back tomorrow morning. He could tell how fragile you are right now and he doesn’t want you to have another panic attack again.” She said and you giggled at her. “Yep. We do have a dirty bastard to catch.” You said and she smiled as the both of you walking out of the building, walking back to the home that y’all both shared.

A/n: I hope y’all enjoyed! Winter/Christmas requests are still open for all of the people that I write! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all!

[tryingmybestpls]

Let The Light In

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Glimpses into a life alongside Joel Miller.

Rating: R

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Canon violence, mentions of sex, graphic depictions of violence and death, depressing themes, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of loss

She knew they weren't meant to last.

She had told herself this every time she snuck out of his bed in the early morning, gathering her clothes as quietly as she could as the sun slowly starts to rise over the QZ. There wasn't supposed to be any feelings attached to this, to these nights that they have together and she repeats that over and over as he snores softly. It's just an even exchange, that's all. A way to let off some steam, a way to get their needs met.

They weren't supposed to be that close. They weren't friends-there wasn't really friends anymore. Her and Joel-well, they were really more like coworkers.

Coworkers that fucked, but coworkers nonetheless.

I mean, it was normal, wasn't it? Before all of this carnage, before the world fell apart, coworkers fucked each other. It was completely normal.

Again, that's what she also told herself.

She'd slip out of his apartment and would see him later on, when their paths would cross during whatever jobs they'd be doing that day. They would acknowledge each other in the moment, but they'd keep it at that. She had tried her best to just keep it at that-at the nights they shared together.  She wouldn't get hurt if all they had together were those nights. Those few hours in his tiny little bed.

But life couldn't be that simple. She knew better than that.

"What was your favorite TV show?" He asks one night, moonlight steaming in through the dirt and grime on the windows of his apartment. The question is out of character for him and they both know it. They don't talk about before, but either way, she gives in. She can't help it, this small tiny slice of domesticity. She's greedy and she knows it.

"Law and Order: SVU. I liked that the bad guy always got caught." She replies, turning onto her side so she can look at him, "However, my mom made me watch Dateline and 48 Hours with her. She wanted to make sure I was never taken, y'know...normal shit."

He can see a shift in her eyes as she remembers those memories. He gets that glimpse into her family, into how she was raised. All that he knew about her family was that they're were long gone, their bodies scattering the United States from California to Connecticut. Now he knew that her mom was paranoid, terrified that something bad was going to happen to her kids. Just like he had been with Sarah.

They'd both been right.

But he doesn't say this, he keeps this observation to himself. He knows he can't stay silent for long, because the longer the silence the more she's thinking about everything that has happened. So he just nods, his arm tucked behind his head. He looks like he's seriously thinking about his answer, wanting to give her the God's honest truth.

"The Sopranos-Tommy and I used to watch it. I paid a little every month for that damn show." He shakes his head at the thought of it, as if he is still annoyed. She smiles, trying her best to stop the almost girlish giggle that almost escapes her mouth. He catches the sound almost immediately, raising an eyebrow at her as the corners of his mouth turn upwards ever so slightly, "You laughin' at me, girl?"

Oh, she was so fucked.

-

Sometimes she'll dream of him.

She knows it's a bad sign-a dangerous one, even- but she can't control her subconscious. And she surely can't control those dreams she has of him and her, a farm somewhere out west, and two little mini-me's that have his hair and her eyes. And she can't control the ache she gets in her chest when she awakes, grieving something that isn't real, something that she can never have.

On the days that follow those dreams, the world is a little colder and Y/N is a little quieter. Joel isn't much of a talker, but he notices. He doesn't pry, of course-it's not his place and he knows it. They carry on with their day and she think about whether or not they should end things, if it was all going too far. Surely it had to be-he was lodged deep inside of her self conscious, he was something she just couldn't shake.

And then the next day, she'd be face down in his bed, his hands gripping her hips, the cycle only continuing. She's in too deep and she knows it, but she just can't stop. She's addicted to him and she just can't get enough.

-

When Ellie enters the the picture, their situation changes.

Gone are their nights together. Now all they get is glances at each other-knowing looks behind the kid's back-and quiet talks when they know she's asleep. He'll hold her when the nights get too cold and she starts to limit her food intake so there is a little more food for both him and Ellie. If he notices, he doesn't say a word.

Their relationship changes after Bill and Frank's, after that letter Bill had penned to Joel. They try to ignore it, ignore the questions that Ellie fires their way after she reads it. Y/N's cheeks burn as she snatches the letter from Ellie, telling her to run upstairs and shower. The teen rolls her eyes at the two of them, muttering how two of them just want to get rid of her so they can suck each other faces. As soon as she is upstairs, Joel grabs Y/N and slams his lips against hers, kissing her like it's the last thing he might do. Her cheeks are wet, but neither of them acknowledge it.

His hand is on her thigh all the way to Kansas City.

Kansas City is where Y/N's motherly instincts-as Joel outs it- seemingly kick in. She's constantly asking if Ellie is okay, and when Sam and Henry join them, she does the same with them. Joel teases her about it, tells her to stop being such a mother hen. She tells him that she'll only stop when he does. He rolls his eyes in response.

She starts to think how different it could be-the five of them, all together. She hadn't thought about life turning into something like...this. To a sort of family. She wonders if it's possible for them to take care of the three of them

When things go belly-up in the motel room, she immediately wraps her arms around Ellie, tears springing in both of their of eyes. She tells the kid over and over to not look, even though they both are. Joel is frozen in place, his eyes going from the two bodies on the ground and to the two women holding each other.

-

The snow is starting to stick to the ground when they reach Wyoming.

A part of her longs for a life in Jackson. Everything seems so...normal. Kids runnin' around in the street without a care in the world, there's even a Christmas tree in the town center.  Joel sees the way she looks away, looking down at the ground and he wonders when the last time she celebrated anything was.

She watches him embrace his brother and she's happy for him, she truly is-but she can't ignore the way her throat starts to tighten. She looks away, finding something to focus on in the distance, her nails digging into her palm. If Ellie notices, she keeps it to herself.

She's surrounded by families, with big happy smiles stretched across their faces. Maria and Tommy are talking, explaining everything about their safe haven, but Y/N doesn't hear a word of it. She just follows them, her hands shoved into the pockets of her coat. She doesn't even realize Maria is taking to her until Ellie nudges her.

"Sorry-What was that?" She asks, looking up at her. Maria offers her a smile, clasping her hands together.

"I was saying that I'm going to show you guys where you're going to be staying while Tommy and Joel go catch up. Is that okay?" Maria tells her and Y/N smiles back, nodding. She stays quiet as Maria gives them a tour of the house. She doesn't know how to quite respond to this whole situation, how to think about it all, how to react. Y/N manages to sneak away from the conversation, hiding in the bathroom under the guise of showering. She turns on the knob and sits on the edge of the tub. Y/N buries her face into a towel and starts sobbing. She doesn't even know what she's crying about, all she knows is that she doesn't stop until Joel comes in and wraps her in his arms.

Her and Joel get into a fight when he tells her that he isn't going to take Ellie to the Fireflies, that he just couldn't do it. It's a true, honest to God fight. She calls him an asshole, he calls her a dumb kid who doesn't know what she's talking about. He tells her that he's scared of how close he's getting with Ellie, of how close he's getting with her. Y/N tells him that just 'cause he's abandoning Ellie that doesn't mean she will. Y/N says that she'll go with Tommy, that she'll make sure she's safe. She tells him not to bother with waiting for her to come back-especially since he's so worried about how close they're getting.

The next day when her, Tommy, and Ellie arrive at the stables, Joel is there waiting for them and the three of them leave on two horses.

That night when they stop, Joel waits for Ellie to fall asleep before he apologizes to Y/N for what he said, for how he acted. She accepts it and when Ellie wakes up in the morning, she finds them fast asleep, curled up next to each other.

On their way to the college, Joel teaches Ellie how to shoot with the rifle. Y/N tells her about how it was before-at least as much of it as she remembers. Joel teaches her about sports, Y/N talks about how different Boston is from where she lived in California with her family. Joel tries to convince Ellie that Texas was far better than California, but the teen isn't convinced. Ellie reads them jokes from her book, making the two adults laugh and groan. Her and Ellie tease Joel the whole time about his dreams of sheep ranches and singing. It's sweet and it gets Y/N's mind off of all the things she was thinking about back in Jackson.

When Joel falls off the horse, Y/N jumps off of hers. His shirt is drenched in crimson and her hands immediately fly to the wound, putting pressure on it. She had known as soon as he had yanked that wood out of him that he was going to bleed out but she-she had just thought that it wasn't going to happen somehow. That somehow, God-willing, this was just going to all workout.

"Joel? Shit..." Ellie is suddenly right behind her, her eyes on the where Y/N's bloodstained hands are putting pressure. The older woman quickly takes her knit cap, pressing it on the wound.

"Don't do this to me, Joel-You can't do this to me." She tells him over and over, tears rolling down her cheeks. Ellie is still calling his name, begging him to get up as Y/N keeps murmuring, "God damn it, don't do this to me, baby."

-

"You need to sleep."

She lays in between Ellie and Joel in that cold little basement. Her eyes watching the fall rise of his chest, making sure he's still there.

"I'm alright, Ellie-Just get some rest." She replies, turning her head for a moment, looking at the kid. She can barely make out her face in the darkness, but Y/N can feel her eyes on her. There's silence for a moment and Y/N hopes that Ellie had finally fallen asleep-

"Did-Did you have kids too?" Ellie questions, her voice quiet as if she doesn't want to wake Joel. Y/N turns her head to look at the ceiling, her hands resting on the blanket covered ground. Her index finger taps against the cold concrete.

"Not when it first happened-I was around your age when it all went to shit." Y/N replies, just as quietly, "There was-I was...once."

"Was it-Was it-?" Ellie doesn't know how to quite say the words as Y/N blinks away any tears that threaten to fall. She doesn't know why she's saying any of this-doesn't know why she doesn't tell Ellie to drop it and go to bed. Joel is so much better at not talking about things, about keeping secrets.

"Yeah. He-I never told him." Y/N voice is just as soft, barely loud enough for Ellie to hear. The words hang heavy in between them and she knows they Ellie is still processing the news when she adds, "Please-Please don't tell him. It'd break his heart."

That night she dreams about what never was-she dreams of Ellie chasing after a little boy that looks just like his father.

-

Her mind is racing when they get captured by David and his people.

Before all this, before Ellie entered her life, she would've done anything to escape-would've fought tooth and nail just to get scot-free, but things have changed. Now she can't do just anything- no, now she has to have a plan, one in which all three of them are okay. So she starts planning-trying to think of what she could possibly do so that Ellie can be safe, so that Joel will safe.

They try to pick the locks, try to unscrew any bolts that might be loose. The window is jammed. Their weapons are gone.

When David starts saying shit with disgusting undertones, Y/N lashes out. She spits and yells at him, calling him every name in the book. She gets beat-her blood splattering on the floor and walls. One of her eyes swells shit after the beating, her lip split. Her chest aches-it hurts when she breathes, making her think that they must've cracked a rib or three. Even then, she makes sure she's in front of Ellie.

And then they see the human ear laying on the floor.

David brings them stew and they both refuse to eat it. Ellie kicks the bowls away and

Y/N tries to rise to her feet, wanting to-needing to protect Ellie, but she can't. The conversation once again takes a turn for the worse, which makes Y/N stomach twist, even more than the cannibalism had.

When Ellie breaks David's finger after his suggestion, Y/N smiles and says quietly, just loud enough for Ellie to hear, "That's my girl."

Yet the pride soon disappears when David and three of his men reappear and once again, Y/N moves to guard Ellie. David opens the cage, shoving the older woman aside in order to pull Ellie away. Y/N quickly gets up, pushing through the pain, yelling at the men to stop, to leave the kid alone, to take her instead. The two slam Y/N into the chain link fence, forcing her to watch as David and the other man force Ellie down onto the butcher's block. The older woman tries to fight back, yelling and screaming, the chain link tearing into her skin.

When Ellie swings the cleaver the man with the beard's neck, Y/N swings her head back, connecting the back of her skull with a man's nose. He cries out in pain as David shoots at Ellie as she escapes. Y/N manages to grab a knife from the injured man, quickly bring it up into his chest before the other man can stop her. One man falls while the other charges at her, slamming her into the wall, making the knife fall from her hands.

But she fights like she's never fought before because she knows that Ellie needs her. She claws at her captors eyes, making him scream out in pain. Then his arm is against her windpipe, cutting off her breathing. She reaches blindly, trying to grab something, anything.

She can smell smoke just as her hand wraps around the blade of the knife. The man puts more of his weight on her neck, spots starting to dot her vision. She grips the knife, the blade digging into her palm as she brings it up and forcing it into the man's head. It makes a sickening sound, an unnerving crunch.

She shoves the body off of her as she gasps for air. She uses the chain link to pull herself up before she limps out of the room.

By the time she leaves the area they were being held in, David is dead and the place is up in flames. Y/N pulls Ellie up and into her arms, hugging her for a second, before telling her they have to go. Their arms are wrapped around each other as they make their way out of the back of the restaurant. The only noise being the sound of their harsh breathing and the fire crackling behind them as it devours the building.

And then suddenly, Joel's there, holding both of them. He presses his lips against Y/N's temple, telling them over and over that he's got them, that they're safe. He calls Ellie babygirl and he calls Y/N sweetheart. Y/N holds onto him and Ellie tightly, never wanting to let go, tears streaming down her cheeks.

-

She's killed for him before, and he's killed for her. It was just apart of their lives, it just happens. If you want to survive, you have to get dirty. But now? Now, there's something behind each kill.

It's so much more feral.

She wears the blood with honor, with a sense of pride. I protected you both, I'm protecting my own. It's the same for him. He mows through people for her, for Ellie, for whatever this little group is. They both do it without a second thought, without any hesitation.

And they destroy that hospital in Salt Lake City together, hunting down every son of a bitch that wanted to hurt their girl. Joel carries Ellie out in his arms, Y/N follows right beside him, her finger not leaving the trigger of her gun until Marlene is dead and both of them get in the car with their girl.

Once again, his hand is on her thigh the whole time.

They lie through the teeth to Ellie. They agree that what she doesn't know, won't hurt her. She's alive, she's with them-that's all that matters. The three of them are still together and that's all that matters.

"You don't have to stay with me, y'know that right?" Joel murmurs to her as they stand next to each other, their eyes on Jackson in the distance. She turns her head to look at him and he meets her gaze.

"What, you tryin' to get rid of me, Joel?" She asks, a small smile appearing on her face. He can't stop the way the corners of his mouth turn upward.

"I would never, darlin'." He replies, smiling back at her. Y/N grins, just as Ellie starts yelling at them to get a room.

In the back of her mind, a little voice tells her that this-their little family, their little life together-that it won't last. She ignores it, shoving it aside as her hand wraps around his, her lips pressing against his scruffy cheek as Ellie makes gagging noises.

[noellawrites]

Troubled Return - Yandere!Rafael Barba x reader

summary: After returning to New York City, Rafael takes you to family court to prove you incompetent of caring for your two daughters.

warnings: toxic relationship, physical and emotional abuse, manipulation, talk of mental illness

It had been two years, but somehow stepping foot back in New York City made you feel like you'd never left. Two years since you'd taken little Lucia and your newborn daughter, so young you hadn't even named her.

And now here you were, outside Brooklyn Presbyterian after visiting your ailing mother. You huffed, holding back tears as you attempted to hail a cab. Little Isabel strapped to your stomach as Lucia held onto your leg.

Just as a yellow vehicle was pulling over in front of you, you felt Lucia detach from your leg, causing you to swing around. Suddenly, your breath was knocked out of you completely. Rafael Barba was smirking, holding your--his daughter in his arms.

"Back in New York, huh? You took off without a word. Pretty harsh, taking my newborn from me. I'm glad you're back. It's good to see you again, Lucia. And this one here, sweet Isabel. You look just like me," he grinned, stroking her cheek.

"Papí?" Lucia's small voice asked, confusion written all over her face. She was an intelligent kid, and the resemblance was uncanny.

Rafael nodded, grinning as Lucia wrapped her arms around his neck.

"How dare you?" you hissed, tears now falling freely down your cheeks.

Memories flashed through your brain, things you never wanted to think about again. You at eighteen, first meeting Rafael as an intern and allowing yourself to be charmed by him. The positive pregnancy test and subsequent marriage at age twenty. The abuse, the yelling and fighting and manipulation. Your resignation, the anger of your parents. Little Lucia, screaming for her mommy. Rafael's cold and calculating demeanor. The painful, angry sex whenever he wanted. The second test, terror at the thought of subjecting another child to the lawyer's cruelty. Fleeing the hospital with your two daughters and nothing to your name.

"How dare I? How dare you. Snatching my children from right under my nose, running away without a word. You do know I'll be taking you to court for custodial interference, don't you?" he stated, still holding Lucia in his arms.

"We're leaving. C'mon Luce," you began, attempting to pull her away from Rafael.

"Where will you go? If you leave the city, I'll call SVU and they'll have to detain you. You and the girls can stay with me. Lucia's room is still intact and there's a cradle for Izzy," he stated, taking a step back and raising his eyebrows.

"How did you know? About where I was, about Izzy--"

"You're really asking me that? Let's just take the girls home," he said, leading you towards his apartment.

—

You were sitting in your lawyer, Trevor Langan's office to go over your case before you and Rafael would have to appear in family court.

"I was being abused! I was twenty-two with two kids and an abusive husband, what else was I supposed to do?" you cried.

"I understand that, (y/n). There is no easy way to say this, but since you were married and left the state with your kids to relocate, and you don't have any proof of abuse, Rafael can press charges against you for custodial interference. Legally, he has as much of a right to your children as you do.”

"I thought Liv said you could help me!" you yelled in frustration.

"I'll do my best, (y/n). I'll likely be able to get you out of jail time but we'll have to come to a mutual agreement with Mr. Barba for custody."

"He hit me in front of our daughter! H-he pushed me into a wall when I was pregnant. He trapped me and forced me to quit my job. I can't share custody with him!" you exclaimed.

"We'll work on it, okay? I'll talk to Liv and see if there's anything they can do to help. We'll figure this out, I promise," Trevor explained, putting his hand over yours in a comforting gesture.

"Thank you, Mr. Langan. I really appreciate it," you sighed, shaking his hand and leaving his office.

—

"Despite the crimes committed, I do not wish to press charges against my wife. However, I am asking the state to declare her incompetent on account of mental illness and suspend pending termination of her parental rights. I would like her to be released into my care," Rafael stated, taking a deep sigh as he sat down and unbuttoned his blazer.

"What?" You and Trevor both gasped simultaneously, standing up and looking at each other in shock.

Trevor shuffled through his paperwork as you stood, stunned speechless. Rafael wanted to declare you incapable of raising your daughters? Was this some sort of revenge for running away?

“This file contains documentation of my wife’s history with mental health conditions, which impairs her ability to care for herself and our children. There are also photographs and written statements,” Rafael explained, walking over and handing the file to the judge.

“This is a photograph of her leaving the girls, ages one and three, unattended for several hours. Here is an intake report from the hospital at age twenty-one, while she was still living with me, detailing her self-inflicted injuries. There’s more, I’ll let you take a look,” he stated, stepping back and shooting a quick smirk at you.

“Objection! This is absurd, Mrs. Barba took care of herself and her daughters alone for two years after fleeing a physically and emotionally abusive marriage!” Trevor exclaimed, looking straight at the judge.

“I will need time to look over this file. We will reconvene in an hour,” the judge stated.

—

“Why are you doing this?” you pleaded, walking up to your husband. He stood, sharply dressed as usual, with a grin on his face. He was already preparing to win.

“Between your custody interference, neglect and mental illnesses, I have enough proof to terminate parental rights. I want to see you rehabilitated, not charged. You can be a good mother and wife, I know you can. You just need some help,” he explained, concerned eyes baring into yours.

“You’re sick, Rafael Barba. I don’t want you anywhere near my daughters,” you snapped.

“Too bad you can’t prove anything. Looks like keeping records was a good thing, huh? A perk of having you on my insurance, and being your husband of course. You’ll never be able to get away from me,” he stated, mouth close to your ear. His voice sent familiar shivers down your spine.

Even after Rafael walked away, you could smell his expensive cologne lingering. You should never have tried to outsmart the lawyer. Your fate was sealed, whether you liked it or not.

[theshejen]

Casey Novak x Reader Enimies to Lovers

Chapter 1

This is an AU of my current Casey x Reader fic

Chapter 1:

You had just arrived at SVU and after a couple months you had settled in. You were glad to work with your friend (and ex) Olivia Benson. Apart from her, no one in the squad knew the real you. You weren't really friends with any of them but you were pleasant together had been hanging out after work with Liv or the squad together when you could, including Casey Novak. She was, in your mind, uptight and a bit awkward, brazen. You made fun of her a bit but Liv promised you she was a good person and not to make fun of your colleagues. That's when it all went to hell. 

You and Liv were sitting in the crib when Novak walked in. You clocked a brow at her unusual demeanor.

“I need to talk to you, alone.” 

“Liv and I have known each other from when we were at the academy, anything you need to say to me you can say in front of her.” You replied, almost cockily.

“OK, then. What were you doing at the gay event, Swinging Scissors?” The redhead enquired.

Your jaw dropped. Liv could tell you were concerned.

“It's alright Liv, please give us the room,”

You could tell she didn't want to leave, but thankfully didn't push it.

You wanted to go off on Novak as soon as the door slammed shut but tried to remain cool.

“I don't know what that is,”

“We got you on camera,”

“Everyone looks similar on camera. Who says I was there?”

She showed you a picture of you from the camera at the event. “Not to mention you paid for the ticket with your credit card,”

Now you lost it, “You went through Financials? What the fuck is wrong with you Novak!”

“Why not, obviously you weren't going to tell me the truth and I went through their financials Detecti‐”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because El Fuego was at that event and I have taken off with someone. I need to ask if you saw anything.”

“I was drunk-”

“Your card was only used for the ticket, no ones else name for drinks matches yours,”

“I was drunk when I came in,”

“Doesn't look like it on camera. Now I have to give this to the Captain and show it to the whole precinct. I just wanted to let you know because you don't exactly seem out at work,”

You rolled your eyes, not knowing if you wanted to cry, punch Novak or curl into a ball. You hadn't been out to anyone at work since you were a teenager and that was the last time. You had worked hard to keep everything a secret.

“Screw you Novak,” she stood up and walked to the door. “You're the one who went to that club!”

“What I do outside of work off call is none of your business, and I did nothing illegal,”

“I know, so I don't know why you are acting like someone caught you doing something illegal,”

With that, the redhead left. You got up and left a few minutes after her in time to hear some of Cragen's update to the squad.

“Now our new detective says she doesn't remember, which is fine but I'm sure she will and if not, we have cameras from the alleyway and surrounding the building. I want you all to remember that finding Fuego is our top priority. Ok everyone that'll be all.”

After slinking back to your desk, shoulders slouched, you were approached by someone. “Go away, Novak,” “It's me, hun,” Liv offers gently. You look up, giving her an apologetic look. “Sorry, this is all just, so much for me.” “I know sweetheart, but Casey was just doing her job.” “It's not just what she says, it's how she says it,” Liv gives you a smile and pulls you into a gentle hug. You breathe in, smelling her softly. “OK let's go.” “Go where?” you ask, separating from the tall, pretty brunette. “One of Fin's contacts got us a lead on El Fuego.” You nodded and followed her out.

[novaksupremacy]

The Veiled Law of Affection-Chapter 7

hey my lovelies, sorry this has taken me so long! I proofread but my brain is also mush post Calculus final. Chapter takes place surrounding the events of S6E1 "Birthright" It's probably also my longest chapter to date 😅😅 angst, cute fluff, svu case talk, and of course your precious smut 😜I promise your next fix (and some one shot Calex stuff) won't take as long.❤️

Pairing: Casey Novak x Olivia Benson

Word Count: 8955

by PKJ @novaksupremacy

Read Part 6    

     “Patricia Branson, 6 years old, guy tried kidnapping her in a park full of people.” The uniform on scene told Liv and Elliot as they followed him to the victim and her father.

            “Anybody see anything? Stabler asked.

            “Only description we got was a white guy in a baseball cap, bystander chased him, but he got away.” The Uni continued.

            Liv scribbled notes down furiously as they walked.

            Elliot pulled the dad off to the side so that Liv could talk to Patty. She sat down in the ambulance using a soft voice to question the little girl. She quickly realized this was not the first time the child had encountered her would-be abductor. The little girl had originally seen who Liv had deduced to be a young adult/ older teenager for the first time outside the grocery store when he offered to let her play with his puppy.

******

            Fin and Munch stood outside the sliding glass doors next to the electronic kiddie ride Patty had described and showed her picture to the grocery store manager.

            “Anybody every use that thing?” Finn asked.

            “Sure,” the manager said with a thick NY accent, “kids ride that thing all the time. You’ll have to ask my employees if they’ve seen the girl though.”

            “What about anyone strange hanging around?” Finn continued to question.

            The manager crinkled his mustache, “Does that include two guys in a blue van?”

            John shot a glance at his partner then back at the manager, “What’d they look like?”

            “Both white, middle aged guy and some teenager with a mutt in his lap. Last week, right by the front door, blocking all my deliveries. Called the cops, Arizona plates and the number. Nobody showed up.”

            “We’ve got a pair of pedophiles,” Finn lamented as they left the grocery store and crossed the street.

            “With their very own perv mobile.” Munch added as they opened the doors to the sedan.

            “SVU Portable I have your plate.” Dispatch said over the radio and proceeded to give information about a complaint made outside Patty Branson’s school.

            “Alright we’re on it,” Detective Tutuola radioed back and hopped into the car.

            As they drove to their next destination John turned to Finn, “Hey you think Liv and Casey joined one of those women’s safety boxing classes or something.”

            Finn contorted his face, “Man where do you come up with this stuff. What makes you think that?”

            Munch shrugged, “I don’t know they’re just always showing up at work with bruises lately. I thought maybe they took up boxing or something. Or maybe they’re going to the bar after work and not inviting us, hanging out with their secret boyfriends while we hang behind and do all the paperwork.”

            Fin did his best to stifle his laughter, “Look man, I will tell you both Benson AND Novak are both seeing someone. But unless they come in with a black eye one day, I’ll let you do your own detective work on the rest of it.”

******

            “Why Patty?” Elliot asked when they realized their mystery men have Patty’s routine down. The park she visits, her school, when she’ll be alone.

            “They’re obsessed.” Liv offered.

            Elliot looked up to see the van parked not far from them, “They’re here. Circle around and call for backup.”

            Fin and Munch pulled up alongside Benson and Stabler’s sedan and rolled down their window to get the briefing.

            “Watch the back of that van,” John said as one of the suspects jumped out, “The big boy, complete with red baseball cap.”

            Cragen and Fin approached the van and banged on the window.

            “It’s an IAB caper Captain” the suspect said to Cragen flashing his shield.

            “What’s todays color then,” Fin questioned.

            “Purple.”

            Fin cocked his gun aiming it at the suspect, “Wrong. Take the keys out the ignition and step out of the vehicle.”

            The man behind the wheel hit the gas rather than comply. Fin and Cragen turned their attention to the second suspect in the ball cap, while Liv and Elliot took off after the van. After a brief chase Elliot managed to overtake the van by rear ending it, they drew down as the driver stepped out and then apprehended him. Munch managed to cut off the second suspect in the other squad car just in time for Cragen and Fin to apprehend him as well.

******

            “Three THOUSAND dollars’ worth of damage to the car?” Cragen exclaimed.

            “What can I say boss, I zigged when I should’ve zagged.” Elliot shrugged.

            “Let’s find a way to send these guys the bill, I already don’t like them. They made me run.” Cragen threw the invoice on his desk. “What do we know about them so far.”

            “PI ticket pretty well known for reuniting kidnapped kids with their parents. The kids ticket is legit too.” Liv rattled off from her notes.

            “So, someone hired them to snatch Patty.” The captain queried.

            “Seems that way Cap. No one’s talking.”

       ��    “Let’s find out who and why.”

******

            “Can my Mommy come in too?” Patty had tears coming down her face.

            “No honey it’s very important that you do this by yourself so we can get the bad guy.” Liv said sweetly to the little girl.

            Elliot bent down next to her, “Hey Patty is it okay if I pick you up.” She sniffled and nodded. Elliot scooped her up. “I want to show you something special. See this glass?” He walked around to the other side. “No one on this side can see you, its magic, protects you from the bad guys and then we can take care of the rest.”

            The perps made their way into the lineup room.

            “I’m scared of the boy with the four. He pulled my hair at the park.”

******

            After a positive ID on the younger perp and a few hours of grilling them, the older PI told them that Patty’s biological mother hired them to find her daughter. The detectives took a ride to the address that the suspects gave up and went to investigate. Michelle Osborn answered the door and weaved them a tale about how her daughter had been abducted from a car accident that caused the death of her husband. She showed them a facial aging print out that showed what her daughter might look like now, remarkably similar to Patty, along with the addition of the diabetes diagnoses. She also led them into her daughters room which she had updated to welcome home a now 6 year old little girl.

            Elliot placed cuffs on her as Liv spoke. “Michelle Osborne you’re under arrest for conspiracy to commit kidnapping.”

            On the way out of arraignment Casey ran to catch up with Liv, “Hey they said you were in a car accident. Why didn’t you call me? Are you okay?” the redhead said frantically scanning her girlfriend for any sign of bodily injury.

            “Baby I’m fine. I promise. It was barely a fender bender. We hit the back of the van chasing the PI’s. If anything, I’ll be a little sore tomorrow.”

            “Well, you’re definitely in for a massage later, but are you sure you’re alright?” There they were: the puppy dog eyes that melted any worry Liv ever had.

            “I promise, I gotta catch up with Huang, but hey.” She grabbed Casey’s hand. “Case, if something did happen, I have I card in my wallet saying you’re my emergency contact, and have you saved in my phone that way too.” She tugged on her girlfriends arm a bit before walking away. “I’ll see you later okay?” Casey watched until Liv disappeared into the crowd after catching up with Huang and getting on the elevator.

******

            It didn’t take Michelle Osborne more than a few hours to violate her order of protection.

            “You’re making a mistake!” Michelle shouted at Liv.

            “No Michelle, you are. I read the police report, you’re daughter died in that accident with your husband and now you’ve violated the order of protection and I have to take you to jail, and the judge is going to revoke your bond.”

            “She’s my daughter!”

            “We know everything Michelle, we saw the police report,” Liv shouted as she put the cuffs on, “We know Anna Osborn died with your husband in that accident.”

            “Hey look who I found,” the brunette heard her partner yell out from behind her, she turned to see Elliot standing next to a squad car with their new favorite PI in the backseat.

            “You guys just can’t take a hint,” Liv scoffed walking up to the window.

            “There’s a piece of paper in my breast pocket. Read and weep.” The perp retorted.

            Elliot reached in through the window and removed the piece of paper. “It’s a lab order with the DNA sample from Patty’s hair that they snatched at the park. Patty Branson is Michelle Osborne’s biological daughter.”

            The brunette looked at Elliot in shock, not sure that she heard him correctly.

            “Patty and Anna are not the same child,” Melinda explained to the detectives when they got back to the precinct, “I ran another test, and they are definitely siblings but not identical. I saw that Anna was conceived through in vitro. The only way this incident could’ve happened is if both women underwent in vitro with the same doctor at the same time and I’m gonna need that doctors name.”

******

            Casey walked into the stationhouse with two large cups of coffee. She placed one down on the desk next to Elliot, “Hey, where’s our girl.”

            “Thanks Novak,” he mock-groaned in appreciation and took a sip. “I don’t care what Liv says, you’re alright.” He smirked. “She’s in the crib.”

            The redhead walked in quietly, she saw Liv’s eyes closed but knew by her breathing she wasn’t asleep.

            “Casey when I open my eyes you better either be naked or have a very large cup of coffee.”

            Casey laughed, “How did you know it was me? And how did you know I was alone?”

            The brunette smiled, her eyes still closed. “I can smell your perfume, and because I’m a cop.”

            The ADA walked over and sat on the edge of the cot. “Did you get any sleep baby?” She kissed her head and brushed her hair away from her face.

            “No,” Liv pried her eyes open. “I’m too wound up.” She sat up on the edge of the bed next to her girlfriend and leaned her head on her shoulder as Casey handed her the cup of coffee. “You’re the best.”

            “Oh yeah? That’s not what Stabler said you’ve been saying.” The redhead giggled.

            “Stabler’s a gossip queen.”

            Munch walked passed the doorway and stopped, “You two tired from all those late nights of bar hopping with your secret boyfriends?”

            Liv picked her head up, “Our what?”

            “Have you been talking to Elliot,” Casey asked him. Liv turned her head towards her girlfriend in confusion, who shook her head. “I’ll explain later.” she sighed.

            “No, Fin said both of you were dating someone and I just wanted to say that I’m a little hurt that I’ve never been asked to hang out with the cool kids. I did used to own a bar in Baltimore. I’m a pretty fun guy.”

            Casey tilted her head as Liv buried her face in the redhead’s shoulder to stifle her laughter, “You’re right John, next time we go out with our secret boyfriends we’ll make sure to invite you.”

            “Thank you, that’s all I ask.” Munch said in complete sincerity. “All the involved parties are here by the way. Time to get to it.”

******

Casey and Liv walked into the conference room where they sat Michelle and the Branson’s on opposite ends of the table. Liv sat down between them in an attempt to mediate with them.

“It’s come to our attention,” the detective spoke softly “that both of you conceived by way of invitro fertilization. We’re going to need you to tell us the names of the doctors you used.”

“Dr. Stanley Norton.” Mrs. Branson sniffled, choking back a small sob.

“He was my doctor too.” Michelle admitted and hung her head.

Michelle’s lawyer, Counselor Emmett, added, “Both girls born at the same hospital, within weeks of each other”

Casey paced across the room “Somehow, Sarah got Michelle’s embryos.”

“How could this happen” Mr. Branson asked, the look on his face showing he still felt like all of this was surreal.

“Dr. Warner said it could be as simple as a mislabeled petri dish.” Liv offered.

Both mothers exchanged heartbreaking looks as Michelle began to break down in tears. “I’m so sorry for what I did. I’m so sorry.”

Sarah Branson turned to Casey “is it possible to have the order of protection removed?”

Casey shrugged, “You can petition the judge if that’s what you want.” It was clear in her expression she didn’t agree but she wasn’t allowed to just blurt that out.

Michelle’s lawyer spoke up, “I’d like you to reconsider the attempted kidnapping charge.”

“Your client was ordered to stay away from Patty Branson, and she ignored that order. She broke the law. I have to take her to trial.” The redhead stated flatly. Liv jerked her head and looked at her in shock as if she couldn’t believe what she had just said.

Casey heard her girlfriend call to her as she left the conference room. “Casey, you gotta plead her out.” Liv emoted as she closed the conference room door behind her.

The ADA furrowed her brow, “Why would I do that?” She turned and gave the detective time to catch up.

“Because what happened was a mistake,” Liv argued.

“Michelle was uncontrollably driven to kidnap someone else’s little girl.” She continued walking down the hall, the detective walking along side.

“Her little girl biologically.” Liv’s tone escalated as she stopped at the corner of the hallway.

Casey turned on her heel, “but not legally,” she spoke lower trying to stay calm and show Liv she cared. “I can’t let Michelle off the hook just because you feel guilty you didn’t believe her.” She turned back and continued to walk.

The detective’s face dropped as she wasn’t used to going toe to toe with Casey over a case since that first day. She took a breath and then followed behind, “well then give her a break cause she’s also a victim.” Casey stopped at her door and turned to face Liv while leaning against it. Liv crossed her arms and continued, “What that fertility doctor did to those two women is genetic rape.” Casey cast her eyes to the side afraid she’d cry if she continued to confront her girlfriend. “And don’t tell me that that doesn’t bother you on some level.”

The redhead turned her head and stared into Liv’s eyes, her own starting to water. She wanted to clap back at the cheap shot, but she was already lost in her girlfriend’s charm. Her face softened.

“Talk to the doctor,” she looked down at Liv’s lips longing to kiss her, “confirm what Michelle and the Branson’s say, and I’ll consider a deal.” She stared at the brunette for a minute.

The Detective looked back at Casey’s lips just as hungrily and then nodded.

The redheaded started to head into her office but looked back as Liv was walking away. “Hey.”

The brunette spun around, “Hey.”

“I’ll see you for dinner later, okay?” She gave Liv the puppy dog eyes.

“You got it.” The detective smiled softly and then turned the corner.

******

Shortly after a visit to the good doctor’s office, the detectives were in Casey’s office giving her the run down. Michelle had insisted she never signed the form consenting to egg donation. The doctor was insisting she did and probably just didn’t remember because seven years ago is a long time to remember such a minute detail. Liv could feel it in her bones that the evidence was pointing towards fraud on the doctor’s part. She just needed some help from the DA’s office to prove it.

Both X’s look the same to me.” Casey examined the photocopied paper her girlfriend handed her.

The brunette looked at her determined, “It’s a legal document, forgery is a crime.”

            “You don’t know that doctor forged anything.” The redhead sat, leaning back in her chair. Her face contorted in contest.

Elliot chimed in to play devil’s advocate, “Look, maybe its buyer’s remorse. Michelle did consent to donate her embryos, and now she’s sorry she did?” He turned his eyes towards Liv.

“That doctor pulled that story out of his ass!” She came around him to stand between him and Casey, “Come on Elliot!” she scolded, “He was making it up as he was telling it to us!” She shook her head in disgust.

“So, you think he’s lying. Michelle Osborne hired private detectives to kidnap a child. Why do you believe her?” The ADA squinted, tilting her head.

“Because Michelle Osborn has never lied to us about anything. Patty is her biological daughter.” The volume of Liv’s voice started to escalate as she spoke passionately.

            Casey crinkled her nose G-d damn she’s so sexy when she gets herself all worked up. Pull it together Novak, cold thoughts, you still have a job to do.

Elliot piped up interrupting Casey’s mental undressing of Liv, “So let Michelle and the Branson’s sue Norton for malpractice,” he suggested bluntly.

Liv sighed, getting exhausted of trying to explain her point, “But if he intentionally put one woman’s eggs into another without consent, we can’t just let him get away with it.”

“There’s no law against that in New York State,” Casey tried to iterate that despite what they were all feeling for both defendants and victims, she still had to prosecute by the letter of the law. “And we can’t charge him with larceny because stolen property has to have value, and body parts don’t.” she said pointedly.

            The brunette argued back as the redhead let out an exasperated sigh knowing her girlfriend wasn’t going to let this go. “In vitro costs tens of thousands of dollars a pop. If Norton misrepresented what he did and put that X on this form, then we have him on fraud and forgery. If he did it once before, you can bet that he’s done the same thing to other women.” Her jaw was starting to get tight.

            Casey looked up at her girlfriend, she knew when Olivia had a gut feeling like this, she was usually on to something, and she definitely wasn’t letting it go. She pulled Liv down onto her lap and wrapped her arms around her waist. “Okay,” she kissed her shoulder. She had no qualms about Elliot being in the room, she knew he was a safe person for them. “Now all we have to do is prove it.” 

            “Right,” Liv turned her head, to look at Casey, her body still facing Elliot. Casey’s touch brought her back down to a calmer state. “This consent form is a copy; you get us a warrant for the real one and we will.”

            The ADA smirked, “You know you’re very sexy when you have your investigation pants on.” She leaned her forehead against the brunette’s, rubbing her nose against her girlfriend’s.

            “Oh yeah, that working for you?” She nuzzled back.

            “Mhmm,” Casey blushed and bit her lip.

            Elliot cleared his throat loudly, “Still here ladies.”

            The two moved their faces away from each other and turned back towards him, “Ahem, sorry.” Casey nodded trying to put her serious voice on.

******

Norton scoffed as he sat in interrogation “I did nothing wrong.”

Kessler waved his hand towards his client “Say nothing else Stanley. My client made an error in judgement.”

“That’s an understatement,” Casey’s voice was dripping with sarcasm as Liv paced behind her.

“Michelle Osborne gave my client verbal permission to donate her embryos seven years ago. Dr Norton wrote the “X” on the form because he thought it would help her remember.” The litigator retorted, an ever-present smug tone in his voice.

The brunette detective was getting worked up “Oh she remembers alright; she remembers that she never consented.” She barked.

Kessler laughed incredulously, “And you believe her, after she tried to have a little girl kidnapped?”

Casey looked at him with a know-it-all grin, “Because of what Dr. Norton did to her, so we’re dropping those charges.” 

“Still her word against my client’s”

“And his employees.” The redhead countered, “We have signed, sworn statements that you routinely implant one woman’s genetic material into another.”

Doctor Norton looked Casey square in the eye and straightened his cufflinks. “All I’ve ever done is help infertile couples have children.”

Olivia curled her lip, glaring with abhorrence at the doctor. “All you’ve ever done is pad your bank account” she leaned over the table towards him.

Casey looked directly at the Doctors attorney, “You can be sure we’ll find out how many other women he’s victimized.”

Kessler scoffed, closing his briefcase. “How? You can’t subpoena privileged patient records.”

The ADA grinned, “Unless,” she placed the pads of her fingers down on the desk pointedly, “there’s evidence of an ongoing criminal conspiracy. That forged “x” on the consent form is all the ammunition I need to go before a judge.”

******

Casey was beaming, “We scored a clean sweep.” She said proudly walking into the squad room. Her eyes locked on Liv.

            “Oh yeah what’d we get?” The brunette joked as she fixed her coffee.

“Warrants and subpoenas for all of Dr. Norton’s in vitro patients, plus all surgical and cryopreservation logs.” The redhead smiled, dropping some files on the desk, and facing Liv and Elliott.

“Cryo what?” Stabler asked as if Casey was speaking a foreign language.

Casey chuckled, “Where egg, sperm, and embryos are frozen and stored,” she schooled him.

“Any of this make an impression on Dr Norton?” He grabbed one of the files Casey dropped off and thumbed through it.

“Nope guy still thinks he did a favor for the Branson’s.” The counselor sat down on the edge of Liv’s desk placing her hands on her knee, “Anyway, Sarah’s medical records have a notation that none of her eggs fertilized.” She discretely caressed her girlfriend's knee with her thumb. The brunette felt it between her legs.

“So, Norton just slipped her one of Michelle’s.” Elliot shrugged.

Casey nodded, mindless tracing little circles on Liv’s knee, just brushing against the start of her thigh.

Liv popped up off the desk as the redhead’s followed her, “Okay so we get him on a couple of counts of fraud, he loses his license and does some time.” It was taking all of her willpower not so slam herself up against Casey right there in the squad room. The way the ADA’s eyes glistened as she smoothly negotiated subpoenas and plea deals just did something for Liv that she never expected.

“Yeah, and all thanks to the persistence of a beautiful brunette detective from the one six.” Casey bit her lip, subtly linking the tips of her fingers with Liv’s. “Damn I need to get you home.”

Liv blushed; desire written all over her face.

Cragen walked up next to them with a distraught look on his face, “Two-two just called. They’re mobilized.”

“For What?” the brunette looked at him confused.

The captain put his hands in his pockets, “Patty.”

******

            Thankfully with the quick work of the SVU detectives they were able to find Patty pretty quickly with a sweep of Michelle Osborn’s house for some semblance of clues. The time and place on the back of a family photo indicated a beach house that Michelle owned. The detectives swiftly mobilized there to find Michelle and Patty. Liv was heartbroken when she learned that Michelle misled Patty by saying her parents didn’t want her. 

*****

“You have to do something, babe.” Olivia took a sip of her wine leaning over the island at Casey’s.

            The redhead scoffed, “I thought you wanted me to plead her out? I can’t keep changing course based on your emotions.” She stared at Liv in disbelief.

            The brunette sighed and placed her glass down, “I know what I said earlier but Michelle is terrorizing this little girl. Patty Branson is a distraught six-year-old who doesn’t understand why this woman is trying to rip her away from her family and I feel for Michelle but she’s making it so much worse.”

            The ADA took her hand across the counter and ran the pad of her thumb across it, “You know that your huge heart is one of the things I find most attractive about you, right? I just have to make sure I don’t get my ass chewed out by Branch for letting that beautiful heart cloud my judgement.” She brought her girlfriends hand up to her lips and kissed across the detective’s knuckles. She glanced up at Liv, cocking her eyebrow, “is this helping make up for the fact that we argued earlier?”

            “Casey,” Olivia sighed.

            The redhead frowned, “Hey I’m sorry, I was just trying to do my job.”

            Olivia smiled and held Casey’s hand between her own, “No that’s not what I was getting at.” she chuckled. “What I was going to say,” she rubbed her girlfriend's hand soothingly, “is we’re not always going to agree on work. We may even shout out each other from time to time, but I promise never to go to bed angry at you as long as you’ll have me.”

She stood up and leaned in to delicately kiss the ADA, “and I promise to always have dinner waiting for you, even if its leftovers in the microwave.”

The redhead giggled into the kiss and draped her arms around Liv’s neck. “And I will always be grateful for that, Detective.” Liv stood up straight pulling Casey out of her chair and grabbing her legs, wrapping them around her waist, and placing her on the counter. The brunette started nibbling and kissing down her lover's jaw and then her neck. “Mmm,” the redhead sighed, “you are so wonderful.” She ran her hands through Liv’s hair.

The detective chuckled, “Mmm, I’ll remember that next time we fight.” Casey laughed and pressed her palm against the brunette’s cheek, nipping at her lower lip and then kissing her. Liv raised her eyebrow and flashed a grin, “thanks for making this easy for me.” She ran her fingers up Casey’s bare thighs and up under the skirt she was wearing. She pushed it up and pulled the redhead to the edge of the counter, sliding her hand up the attorney’s inner thigh. She gasped as she made her way to Casey’s center, she leaned in to kiss her neck. “Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak, have you not been wearing any underwear all day?” 

The redhead smiled deviously, her hand on the back of Liv’s head holding her to her neck, “Mmmm, well, Detective, if we hadn’t argued, I had planned on pulling you into the bathroom of the courthouse, or my office, or the backseat of a taxi.” She giggled.

“Babe!” Liv looked at the younger woman in shock. “Getting adventurous?”

“Mmm maybe a little bit. It’s hard to control myself around you. Do you know how many times when you’re getting heated about a case, I just want to bend you over your own desk?”

The brunette pulled back and looked Casey in the eyes, her own glossed over, pupils dilated. “I really do that much to you?”

The redhead bit her lip and then nodded. “You, Olivia Benson, make me crazy.”

Liv took this opportunity to slide her middle finger into Casey’s heat causing her breath to hitch.

“Fuck.” The ADA exhaled. She spread her legs slightly allowing her girlfriend more access, who then slipped another finger in. Casey gasped again, “Liv.”

The detective toyed with her lover, slowly playing with her arousal, watching Casey whimper with each movement. “Feels good, Daddy?”

Casey let out a moan, “Ohhhh, feels really good baby.”

Liv pushed the redhead’s skirt up further and laid her back across the counter. She brought her mouth down to Casey’s heat, lapping up everything she’d already spilled from her lover, and then brought her tongue up to her clit. When she did this, Casey’s head shot up as heavy sighs fell from her lips. The ADA tangling her fingers in Liv’s hair pulling her tighter to her body. “Hey baby I need you to do me a favor,” the brunette whispered, “can you spell my name for me?” She kissed down on her clit, a few quick swipes of the tongue.

Casey was panting hard, but what Liv asked of her caught her off guard. “What?”

Liv kissed her clit again and continued to do so between each word. “Spell. My. Name. Please. Humor me Casey.”

The redhead quirked her brow, still confused about why they were having a strange conversation right this minute. She decided to oblige. “O—”

As she did Liv pressed down on her girlfriend's clit, tracing the letter “O” across it with the tip of her tongue.

“Mmmm,” Casey inhaled sharply as she caught on. “L—” she whispered. “I—” she was whimpering and panting softly trying hard to concentrate “V—.” “I—oh god baby I, I’m gonna.” Her breathing was getting shallow, “A—” she could barely keep still, she was almost there, she tangled her fingers tighter in her lover's hair pulling her closer as she started over. “O—” that was all it took, “Oh, Oh, Ohhhh!” Casey let go, an orgasm surging through her body, coming hard as Liv lapped it up, humming and moaning with delight.

“Mmm, Casey do you know how fucking good you taste?” The brunette wiped the corners of her mouth and licked her fingers.

Casey sat up trying to catch her breath. “Detective if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying keep me around for a while,” she chuckled.

“Mmm maybe just for a little while,” Liv grinned as she kissed the redhead sultrily.

“That’s it, you’re in for it. Bedroom, now.” She hopped down off the counter and took the brunette by the hand leading her to the bed, pushing her back onto the mattress. Casey was in nothing but her bra before Liv could blink. She straddled the brunette and unbuckled Liv’s belt. “Wanna see a new trick I learned?” She bit her lip, smiling mischievously.

Liv looked at her lover surprised, “You have tricks I don’t know yet Counselor?”

The redhead giggled, “I got bored in my office the other day.” She pulled Liv’s belt off her pants and began to loop it around itself a few times and then held out a hand reaching for Liv’s. Liv furrowed her brow but cautiously gave the ADA her hands. Casey slipped the belt over the detective's hands and then pulled the end of the strap tight with her teeth.

“Is, is that okay?” Casey asked to check in, making sure Liv was good with what she was doing since it was new for them.

“Oh, that was,” Liv gasped with surprise, “impressive.” If she wasn’t soaked in arousal before she was now.

“You like that?” Casey asked with her eyebrow raised and her troublemaker grin. She brought Liv’s arms over her head and hooked the belt to the headboard. “Don’t move,” she scolded and brought her mouth down to her girlfriend's ear. “Be a good girl for Daddy.” She whispered and bit down into the side of the brunette’s neck.

“Oh, Casey,” Liv mewled, “Oh, baby mmm” She wanted to feel Casey’s skin, dig her nails into her back. Each struggle against her restraints made her throb, the leather rubbing against her wrists driving her wild.

The ADA was taking her time, sucking deep bruises into her lover’s neck. “Keep still baby,” she cooed, “I’m just getting started.” After she finished marking up Liv’s neck, she turned her attention downward. She unbuttoned Liv’s shirt one button at a time and threw it open, bringing her mouth down to tease the brunette’s nipples. She pulled each one into her mouth, wrapping her tongue around it and grazing it softly with her teeth, letting them go with a pop. She continued to roll and pinch them between her fingers as she kissed down the detective’s stomach.

“Fuck Casey,” Liv’s soft pants made the redhead simper. She tried to wriggle against the restraints again causing her to moan loudly. “Don’t tease.”

“Detective, you better stop resisting.” Casey joked as she shimmied her girlfriend’s pants down and then tossed them to the floor and then settled between her legs. “Mmm, baby you are so fucking wet. It might take me hours to clean all this up.” She taunted as she ran her tongue through the brunette’s folds. “Olivia,” the ADA whimpered, “G-d you taste so amazing.” She plunged her tongue into Liv’s core, gently fucking her, moaning as Liv’s nectars dripped down her chin.

“Oh Fuck!” the brunette cried out, pulling against her cuffs, her hips bucking towards the redhead's face.

Casey pulled her tighter, the tip of her tongue brushing against Liv’s g-spot driving her wild. She moaned against the brunette’s center, sending vibrations up her body.

“Mmmm Casey,” Liv whined, “Mmm Daddy, don’t stop.” her breath ragged. “Oh G-d, Oh G-d.” Her eyes rolled back as she pulled against the restraints, her body tightened as her walls contracted and she came on Casey’s tongue.

The ADA moaned loudly into Liv as she felt her let go, her mouth filling with her girlfriend's sweet juices. She pumped her tongue slowly as the brunette came down and then licked her clean. She ran her tongue across her lips as she looked up at her girlfriend smiling, kissing her thighs, and resting her head against one for a moment. The redhead brought herself back up and kissed Liv, sliding her tongue into her mouth, savoring the moment, and holding her thumb and fingers to the brunette's chin.

“You are such a good, good girl.” Casey kissed her again lightly and nibbled down her neck as she undid the restraints. She kissed Liv’s wrists and then laid against her as Liv wrapped her arms around the attorney.

“God, you are so fucking sexy.” Liv kissed Casey on her temple and then traced soft circles across her smooth skin.

******

Casey headed down to the jail to confront Michelle Osborne about her most recent kidnapping attempt.

“You can’t kidnap your own daughter.” Hissed as she was led towards the interrogation cell by one of the Riker’s guards. Struggling to turn her head to look Casey in the eyes.

 “The law says she isn’t yours.” The redhead argued, her patience with Michelle had long run out.

“Well, the law is wrong.” Michelle sat down on the bench in the cell, as everyone filed in and followed suit.

Emmett tossed her briefcase on to the table, “We should just forget about the law and focus on what’s right.”

Casey couldn’t help but laugh, “What’s right is for your client to accept that she has no claim to patty. You’re a victim Michelle we can take that into consideration.”

“How much consideration?” her lawyer queried.

“We’re still willing to make an offer, Michelle will have to serve three to five and get counseling.” The redhead stated, staring blankly waiting for a response.

“No thank you.” Michelle shook her head in protest.

“If you go to trial and get convicted. You’re looking at fifteen years in prison.” Casey was in disbelief.

“I’ll be acquitted, then I’ll sue for custody.” Michelle stated haughtily.

“Are you kidding me?” the ADA turned to the counselor, “This isn’t your idea, is it? It’ll never work.”

“I have to try.” The defendant whispered with determination.

“You can’t!” Michelle turned to see this exclaim come from Sarah Branson who was standing a few feet away from the cell with Olivia in tow.

Casey stood up in shock and looked towards Sarah Branson who had just walked in, and then to Olivia who had clearly brought her. “Why did you bring her here?”

Liv looked at Casey reassuringly, “Because she wanted to come.”

Sarah Branson was sobbing “I know you lost your daughter, but can’t you see what you’re doing to Patty? Please, a mother wouldn’t do this to any child.” She pleaded with tears in her eyes.

******

“Look I’m not mad babe, I’m just saying a little heads up with you were bringing her to the jail would’ve been nice.” Casey said as the two women stepped on the train. They both reached for the center pole, opting to stand. Liv wrapped her arm around the redhead’s waist holding her tight to her as the train started.

“You’re right Case, I’m sorry.” Liv frowned, “I promise to work on communicating.”

“Just pretend we’re in bed, you communicate great there.” Casey teased, smirking, eyeing her girlfriend up and down until she realized an old man glaring at her from one of the nearby seats. “Sorry.” She cleared her throat.

The brunette giggled. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

The got off at their stop and walked down off the platform, “Coffee?” Liv grabbed the ADAs hand and laced their fingers together. The redhead blushed a little, the feeling that Liv wasn’t afraid to be seen with her filling her with butterflies.

“Maybe on the way back?” Casey mused, “I just want to be able to think straight again.” She shook her head realizing her phrasing, “I mean, I need to concentrate.”

Liv reached around the redhead to ring the doorbell of the Stabler house. The door opened and the two women were greeted by a very confused Kathy Stabler.

“Liv! Hi. and—” she scrunched up her face trying to figure out who Casey was and what she and Oliva were doing there. She looked familiar but they had never been properly introduced.

“Oh, hey Kathy, it’s nice to meet you, I’m the SVU ADA Casey Novak.” She let go of Liv’s hand to extend it to the blonde in the doorway.

Kathy’s eyes followed her hand and shook it, still looking puzzled until she glanced at Liv and then back at Casey and it clicked. “Oh, OH right hi! Genuinely nice to meet you! You need to talk to Elliot? He’s at the park with the twins. It’s three blocks that way and two blocks right.” she pointed down the street.

“Not me, just Casey here.” The brunette stated and placed her hand on the small of her girlfriend’s back.

“Ah well in that case, Liv why don’t you come in for a cup of coffee.” Kathy motioned towards herself. “Seems like we have some catching up to do.”

The detective glanced at her lover, “You gonna be okay on your own?”

“Yeah babe, stay, have coffee. I think we all know I can handle Elliot.” She chuckled nervously. She gave Liv a quick kiss and headed off down the block.

Liv and Kathy moved to the kitchen as Elliot’s wife poured them both a cup of coffee. “So,” Kathy looked at Liv, “I’m guessing that’s my husband’s new softball friend and the reason you’re wearing a turtleneck?”

The brunette snorted into her coffee and her face went flush. “Yeah, that’s Casey. She’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me.”

“I’ve gotta say I’ve never seen you so— open, with anyone before. It’s refreshing. Do you love her?” the blonde asked sitting down at the table.

Liv followed suit and took a sip of her coffee, “I want to. I just don’t know if I’m ready to say it yet.”

“Boy, you and Elliot really are two sides of the same coin,” Kathy laughed, “took him forever to say it, even though now he’ll admit he always knew. You know, I used to worry about you two. He’d confide in my why I didn’t need to and how he was the only one who knew about it so of course I just thought it was an excuse” she rambled as she took another sip, “but,” she paused. “I’ve never seen you look at my husband the way you looked at her on my porch.”

*****

“Hey Dad, who’s that lady staring at us?” Lizzie asked as Elliot picked up the basketball, trying to explain to Dickie why hogging the ball would end up hurting his game eventually.

Casey was leaned up against the chain link fence at the park entrance. Her thumbs hooked through the belt loops on her jeans.

“Afternoon” Elliot smiled, confused.

“Yeah, your wife said I could find you here.” The redhead smiled.

“Dickie, Elizabeth, this is Ms. Novak. We work together.” He tussled his children’s hair and introduced them to his friend.

“You guys look like a couple of pros out there,” she approached the detective and the twins on the blacktop.

“Yeah, so go practice, and no hogging the ball.” He tossed them the ball as he and Casey stepped off to the side, “Let me guess, you just happened to find yourself on the ass end of Queens?”

“Michelle Osborne trial prep. I need a reality check.” She nodded, looking for some time of reassurance.

“Okay for what? Wait, Kathy told you I was here? You got Kathy to tell you a female she’s never met, my location?”

She shot him a look of c’mon Elliot, I radiate non-threatening LGBT energy.

A light bulb went off in his head, “You brought Liv, didn’t you? And she’s uhm.” He motioned his finger up and down his neck.

“See I knew you’d get there.” She crinkled her nose teasingly.

“Okay so about what?” Elliot asked jumping back to the original topic.

“There’s no way to win it.” The redhead stated, hoping Elliot would either bluntly tell her she was right or help her find a work around.

“You got her cold on the evidence.” Stabler shrugged as he headed towards the fence.

Casey shook her head, “Defense has already won the jury. Once they hear about what happened to Michelle, no one’s gonna care about evidence.”

“Are you worried about losing this case?” Elliot bent down by the fence to pick up his towel. “Or are you having second thoughts.”

The ADA stopped, turning to face him. “I don’t think the law can do anyone justice in this case.”

Elliot mopped his brow, “Are you just figuring that out now?” He sat down with his back against the fence.

“Michelle gets convicted; she goes to prison.” She tried to work out the conundrum out loud, “If Michelle gets acquitted, she’ll never let go of Patty and there will be no end to this.” Her voice got somber, “Either way, somebody loses.”

“Right.” Elliot looked up at her, his voice softer than usual, “What’s the question?”

Casey thought hard, finding it hard to articulate what she was thinking. She chewed on her lip, sighed, and sat down on the ground next to him. “If you found out you had another kid out there, would you want it?” She asked Elliot with genuine curiosity.

“Damn right I would.” The detective nodded.

“So, you know why she’s obsessed.”

“It’s not an obsession,” he shook his head, “it’s a love. It’s a connection that transcends everything and anything.”

Casey studied his face, now she realized how he could be so gruff but also so good with children. He was a good father, a good man. She smiled, thankful for his friendship as she continued to listen.

“I would die for my children and nothin’ in this world that would ever change that. Ever.” Elliot beamed with pride as he spoke.

The young ADA furrowed her brow in concern, “So Michelle and Sarah will never stop fighting over Patty.” She smiled but it was a sullen smile, full of sadness.

Elliot looked down thoughtfully, took a breath and began to recite from the bible, “And King Solomon said, “Bring me a sword. Divide the living child in two. Give half to one and half to the other.”

“Except I can’t split the baby.” The redhead said, her voice low, melancholy.

Stabler grinned, imparting a small modicum of wisdom on his friend, “Solomon didn’t have to.”

Casey looked at him puzzled and then it clicked, she grinned. “Thanks Elliot, I’m gonna go get Liv and make sure she hasn’t told your wife anything embarrassing about me yet.” She blushed and headed back down the street. Elliot took a sip of water and waved her off and then headed back to the twins.

*****

The redhead stood in front of her dresser, taking her watch off and placing it in her jewelry box, “I don’t think I can do this.” She sighed.

Liv could hear the stress in her voice, “What do you mean, honey? I thought you and Elliot came up with a plan. He had “sage advice” you said, which I gotta say I wouldn’t expect someone to say about Elliot as much as I love him.”

Casey gave her a look, “Normally I would agree with you but in this case he was right. However, that also means I essentially have to bully a child on the witness stand. Sure, it’s for the greater good, but hasn’t she been through enough? I mean people already think I’m a bitch, I’m going to look exceptionally cruel tomorrow.”

“Hey,” Liv ran her hands down her girlfriend's arms and took her by the hands. “you’re doing what’s best for that little girl. She’ll understand one day and anyone worth their smarts will see what you’re doing. You’re going to be brilliant; you always are.” She tugged Casey closer and kissed her, “Come to bed baby, you need to rest.”

The redhead threw on one of Liv’s old PD shirts and some sleep shorts. “I hate this,” she mumbled as she turned down her side of the bed. “I feel sick.” She rubbed the moisturizer on the nightstand onto her hands and neck before climbing into bed.

Liv held out her arm for Casey to cuddle up against her, who happily snuggled in, “What if I wanted to hold you tonight?” she joked.

“Tough, come here.” The brunette kissed her girlfriends head and held her close. She ran her fingertips slowly up and down Casey’s arm and closed her eyes.

Casey couldn’t sleep. She stared at the ceiling fan for hours, her only comfort was the sound of Liv’s heartbeat and the rise and fall of her chest as she slept peacefully. She had no idea how she was going to make it through tomorrow. Before she knew it there was daylight peeking through the window.

*******

Casey looked down at the little girl in the witness box, “Patty do you see the person who took you from the museum?

“Yes” the small child pointed to Michelle, “she’s over there.”

The ADA turned to the court stenographer, “Let the record show that she’s indicated defendant Michelle Osborne.” She turned back towards Patty, “So why did you go with her, Patty?”

“She said she had to take me to my mommy.” The child fidgeted with her hands.

“Where did she take you?” The redhead asked flatly trying to keep her tone easy for Patty to understand.

 “To her house. Mommy wasn’t there.” Patty said sadly.

Casey turned back towards Michelle, “Did you ask her where Mommy was?”

“Yes Michelle said she’s my real mommy. My egg mommy.” The little girl was physically upset.

“Did she tell you what that means?” The ADA continued her questioning even though she could feel the knot building in her stomach.

 “She said I came out of mommy’s tummy but the egg that I came from came from her tummy.” Even though Patty was distraught it was still clear she was extremely intelligent for a six-year-old.

Casey stammered silently for a moment trying to prepare herself for what she needed to do. Her insides were twisted, she wished she had a moment to glance at Liv. She knew if she could just see her, she’d feel better and know she was doing the right thing. “What did you do while at Michelles house, Patty?

Patty shrugged, “Watched TV, played with toys.”

“Do you think Michelle is nice?” The counselor inquired.

Patty shrugged again, “She’s okay.”

The redhead leaned down to get eye level, “You know what Michelle said about being your egg mommy is true right?” Casey took a deep breath, “Your Honor?”

Judge Bradley looked at the small child sympathetically, “Please answer the question, Patty.”

“No! It’s not true.” The little girl began to sob.

“Yes, it is Patty.” Casey’s voice had now become stern, confrontational. Come on Novak, don’t lose it, DO NOT throw up.

“Michelle’s not my mommy!” Patty sobbed, sweet innocent tears, breaking Casey’s heart.

 “You came from her egg, that is true.” The ADA corrected, almost fussing.

Michelle looked towards Sarah Branson, tears welling in her eyes.

“I want to go now.” Patty cried, big tears rolling down her face.

 “No, you can’t until we’re finished!” Casey scolded. She needed this to be over before she tossed her cookies. Sarah Branson began weeping from the gallery.

“I don’t want to go with Michelle.” The little girl continued to sob.

Emmet slammed her hand on the defense table. “Your honor she’s just a little girl!”

“Is this line of questioning really necessary?” Judge Bradley empathized.

“Patty, do you understand?” Casey pushed, she hated herself for this.

Patty was in hysterics at this point, “I don’t want to go with Michelle!”

“You don’t have to Patty—Not yet.” The redhead’s volume was elevated, her voice echoing throughout the courtroom.

“I want my mommy and daddy!” Patty shouted.

“No, you have to stay here!” The ADA remained stern.

Patty turned towards Michelle, “Please! Don’t take me away, please!”

Michelle stood up and shouted, “Stop! Just stop it.”

“Sit down!” The judge ordered Michelle.

“Patty I’m sorry,” Michelle wept, struggling to get words out, “I won’t ever bother you again.”

Patty ran to her parents, Casey stayed facing the witness stand breathing a silent sigh of relief that her and Elliot’s plan worked.

Michelle pleaded with the judge, “Ill please guilty if that’s what it takes. Just leave Patty alone.”

Casey closed her eyes, trying not to let the emotion leak out of her face till she got out of the courtroom. As soon as everyone one was adjourned the ADA made a dash for the bathroom. The room was spinning but she tried to splash some water on her face and take some deep breaths. She heard the door creak open, but she couldn’t even look up from the sink to see it was Liv. The brunette rushed and grabbed her from the side, she turned into her.

“Hey, hey baby I got you. It’s okay, you did great. Patty gets to go home with her parents. You did it babe. Shhh, shhh” Liv cooed softly trying to calm Casey down who was actively hyperventilating. “Hey Case, Case listen, match my breathing. Deep breaths.”

The redhead did her best to time her breathing to match Olivia’s until she was calm again. She squeezed herself tight against Liv. “Thank you for being here.”

“I’ll be here for you whenever you need me.” The detective held Casey’s head tight against her chest.

“Well then you’ll just have to always be here.” The ADA chuckled.

They walked to the squad room, Casey putting her briefcase down and handing a file to Elliot. “Michelle plead out to custodial interference. Her sentence was set aside, and she said she was going to move out of state because it was too hard to be around Patty.”

Elliot gave Casey a half smile and a knowing nod, “She did the right thing, loving her enough to let her go. I knew you’d figure it out.”

            Casey nudged Elliot.

            Cragen shook his head, “The damage is already done. That little girl's relationship with her parents will never be the same now that everyone knows the truth.”

            Casey sighed in agreement, “Law has to catch up with technology. When Patty’s 18 she has the right to make her own choice on whether or not she wants to contact Michelle, like in an open adoption.”

            Liv came around to meet everyone, “I finished the audit on Dr Norton’s clinic, turns out Michelle had sixteen embryos, ten of which were implanted in other women.”

            “How many live births?” Elliot asked quietly.

            “Besides Patty, Michelle has two daughters and a son out there.”

            Casey hung her head, they may have put a band aid over this, but it was far from solved. She stretched her neck to the side, Liv was quiet.

            Casey walked up and leaned against her side, looping her arm through her girlfriends, while the squad knew they still had to be careful about holding hands at the precinct. “Hey, what do you say we get a big bottle of wine and go back to my place. It’s been a day.”

Liv looked up “That sounds perfect.”

They started for the exit, “I still owe you that massage.” Casey smirked.

“You can give it to me while your body’s wrapped around me in that big bathtub you’re always bragging about.” Liv lightly hip checked her girlfriend.

Cragen looked at Elliot, “Do…do they think we can’t hear them?” he raised his brows.

“Captain, I think,” he paused, “when those two look at each other, they forget we exist.” Stabler folded his arms as he and Cragen watched them walk out the door.

[bullet-prooflove]

Scars: Bobby Reyes x Reader

Tagging: @trublu2u @yezzyyae @witches-unruly-heart @kmc1989

Bobby’s been told from an early age that he’s broken, unwanted. It’s a message that’s been carved into his soul through years of abuse and neglect in the foster system. Everyday when he looks in the mirror he sees those scars, the cigarette burns etched in a pattern up his torso.

When things start to get serious between the two of you, he’s shy about showing you his body. The echoes of his history litter his skin and he isn’t sure he’s ready for you to see the ugliness of his life.

In his world you’re the sunshine, the warmth on his skin as he steps out into the springtime air. You don’t know about his darkness, the nights he can’t get out of his own head because he’s reliving the suffering he’s endured.

All of that goes out of the window the evening that you undress for him. It’s been getting heated between the two of you, needy kisses and slow grinding on the couch that leads to you coming on his fingertips, his hand thrust into your jeans. You look beautiful underneath him, fucked out with swollen lips from his kisses.

“There’s something I need to show you.” You say in the aftermath, slipping from the couch and raising to your feet. “It’s the reason we’ve been taking things slow.”

You don’t look at him as you unbutton the blouse that you’re wearing, you strip off the fabric to reveal your skin and he sees he’s not the only one that’s been keeping secrets.

Four years ago, there was an SVU investigation into a sex trafficker called Herman Holmes. He used to brand the girls with his initials, always in the same place, upon the curve of the left breast. He wanted to be able to see it when he fucked them, to know what they belonged to him. SVU had managed to get an operative into the organisation, a female detective to posing as a madam. It had turned into a shitshow when he’d taken a shine to her, decided to make her one of his girls. Bobby knows the story, every cop in Manhattan does because it’s a UC’s worse nightmare.

When he sees the brand on your skin, the ridges of it bright pink against your flesh, his jaw clenches. You were missing for over fifteen hours, and he knows the kind of bad shit that can happen in that time.

When you see the expression on his face, he feels you withdrawing. You swallow hard, your gaze turning distance as you begin to button up your blouse.

“Yea.” You say focusing on the task. “I thought as much.”

It’s happened before, he can tell. Someone has looked at you and decided you’re not worth their time, their effort. They’ve told you  that the trauma was too much to handle, that you’re too much. That’s not Bobby though, he sees the beauty in you, the compassion, the kindness.

He captures your hand before you can bolt, his fingers threading through yours as he draws you back into his lap.

“You’re not the only one who knows how cruel this world is.” He tells you, taking your palm and guiding it underneath the hem of his Henley. He exhales as your fingertips trace over one of the cigarette burns.  “Who knows what it’s like to be marked by it.”

“Bobby…” You whisper and his thumb ghosts over the apple of your cheek.

“You’re not ugly.” He tells you, pressing his forehead against yours. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and I’m sorry you felt you had to hide this from me.”

“You know that goes both ways. You’re an attractive man, I’d be lucky to have you” You say as you look into his eyes and in that moment he believes you, because you’re the same you and him, both battered by the world, scarred by it but not broken, never broken.

“You do have me.” He tells you, his lips brushing over yours. “You’ll always have me.”

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