#takemichi and chifuyu's friendship always in my mind

[chodzacaparodia]

What I love about Takemichi and Chifuyu's friendship is that Chifuyu somehow combines Takemichi's two worlds - the one before Toman and the one when he was already a member of Toman.

What I mean is that Chifuyu is the only person from Toman who has developed a closer bond with Takemichi's friends that he knew before joining the gang.

I realize it's mostly a matter of them all being from the same division, but I believe their relationship goes beyond that. That the relationship between Chifuyu and Takemichi's old friends is not due to more "official", related to their division, relationships, but rather because they share a common friendship with Takemichi.

Takemichi had friends before Toman. However, when he joined the gang, he began to make new friends that did not clash too much with his old friends. Most of the time we see that these are two completely different worlds. Even when his old friends eventually join the gang themselves, I felt like they were a bit out of place.

This changes, however, when Takemichi's two worlds meet in a place that should be a safe space for the boy, where a normal teenager could hang out with his friends - in his room.

At that moment I thought that Takemichi's closest friends were in one place. That together they are here for him.

From that moment on, it is clear that they are not only members of the First Division, but also friends.

Chifuyu was not only Takemichi's friend, but also someone they could rely on. He became THEIR friend.

In case of problems, Akkun, Takuya, Kazushi and Makoto can turn to Chifuyu for help. And I firmly believe that it's not just because he's their vice captain, they can just trust him like someone close to them.

When it comes to their relationships with other members, I get the impression that they are more "official". Akkun, Takuya, Kazushi and Makoto do not have any major interactions with the other boys.

The exception may be the last battle, where Mitsuya's presence is more visible, but I can't imagine Mitsuya just hanging out with Akkun, Takuya Kazushi and Makoto. In turn, I can totally see Chifuyu spending time with them even without Takemichi's presence.

Yes, you could also say that Hakkai also became somewhat closer to Takemichi's "old" group of friends when they all ended up in the same high school.

But honestly, I doubt they would have developed a closer friendship if it weren't for Chifuyu's presence. After all, at some point Takemichi, Hakkai and Chifuyu became an iconic trio who came together to help the young Shiba. Their friendship was also on a completely different level. And Chifuyu was a person already in two of Takemichi's friendship groups. I don't think Hakkai would be able to make friends with the other guys right away, because Takemichi himself had never introduced his old friends to anyone else.

I have the impression that Chifuyu contributed more to bringing the boys closer to Toman than Takemichi himself. Because Takemichi himself didn't even introduce his old friends to this world. They themselves joined the First Division under Takemichi, but it was Chifuyu who became the bridge between the two worlds. I bet he started it all.

When Baji showed Chifuyu what friendship was, Matsuno began to take it very seriously. And at every step you can see his commitment to friendship, not only his own friendships but also other people's, often leading to him starting to form bonds with them.

[sugawara-levi]

We’ve been friends pt. 3

❀ Chifuyu Matsuno x reader

❀ friends (to lovers?), same friend group, fluff

❀ tw: alcohol, partying

<- pt.2 navi. pt.4 ->

Gimme! Gimme!

After you’d all played games for a while, Baji and Draken somehow making it out on top each time, Hinata���s wishes were heeded. You’d played ticket to ride of course. Draken was the type to dramatically plan his every move and turn, whilst Baji went for the longer routes and got all the stretches and tunnels with the most points. It was infuriating, even though all of you saw through him at this point he always managed to snatch the best cards and get the best plays time and again. Chifuyu had also won a race, after bashing out on Baji for cheating. Which he didn’t of course, but he might as well have with the amount of times he won this game. They had worked each other up into a rouse and for a whole round you had been stuck between two pairs of aggressively shaking legs and determined gazes. Squeezed with your elbows clamped to your sides. It was your worst round, needless to say.

“Guys, guys!” You had tried talking to them one time when they almost elbowed you in the head as well as skipped your turn in their engagement. They only looked up for half a second though, Chifuyu muttered a short “sorry y/n” followed by Bajis “yeah, sorry babe” before they seemingly dived back into it. Baji calling you babe wasn’t unusual, you two being friends since childhood and all, but squashed between the two of them, with the new circumstances in mind, it crossed your mind that it might seem a bit odd for others. Well, if Chifuyu didn’t seem to mind then it was nothing to worry about. And why would he mind anyway? There was nothing between you two.

With the games came also the blood alcohol level. When the looser has to down a box of their choosing, as well as drinking throughout the game, the levels easily rise. Draken and Baji had penalty shots for winning, Chifuyu got one as well. And most of the others ended up joining in.

“This round was so tense I need one too” you said after the last round, grabbing the glass from your blond seat mate before filling it to the brim again and downing it in one go. It never tasted good, but was exactly what you needed to get rid of the tension you had been quite literally caught in. Head resting against the cushions you felt rather than saw the two others rise from the sofa and engage in a heartfelt bro hug, friendship still intact.

“Girl that was so tiresome I’ll need some of that too”, Emma came over to lounge on top of you as she stole the glass from your grip and it trailed on in its journey. “Hina come get some you too, and then I’ll accept dancing,” she gestured the re-re-filled glass to the other girl. “Oh my god! Yes, dancing!”

With her smile the size of the moon you couldn’t hold back your laughter as she pulled the both of you up from the sofa. “Oof”, the floor wiggled under your feet. Damn, you should probably slow down a bit on the liquor.

Where had Chifuyu gone? No matter, you were dancing. He was not. You were dancing. What were your thoughts doing?

It wasn’t even 10pm yet. You were dancing. With Hinata, Emma and Takemichi. The others were joining too. Emma has really nice hair. Damn. You needed to sit down for a bit.

Before you can really register how you got there you stumble back into the sofa, sideways, leg landing kinda awkwardly on the armrest. Okay. Crisps. And you’re up again and on your way to the kitchen. Where did he keep the popcorn? Popcorn popcorn popcorn, oh, there it was. Third shelf to the right.

The music is blaring through your thoughts but you can barely register them as you wait for the microwave to give its signature beep. Bleep. There we go, popcorn, bowl, chair. Aah. You can hear your thoughts again.

©sugawara-levi: do not copy or republish as your own

a/n: I honestly have no idea how many of the guys are in your gang, you can choose ig, also i guess you’re either switching up who gets to play or some play in teams idk and idrc, its just for funsies 🤩

[cinnamilkekouhai]

Toman! Mikey Confessed to Komi! Reader!!

Reader has overcomed her communication disorder

Song suggested：Night Changes by One Direction

Author extra：HOLY SH- I WAS ALL BLUSHING WHEN I WROTE THIS CAUSE ITS UWJSHHAHS-

Everybody knows that Mikey is obsessed with u, i mean, who doesnt like u? U r beautiful, intelligent, talented and kind, he's always the first and eager one to participate in any activities u came up with, he doesnt care if the idea was dumb or not, he just likes to be with u. He will often watch u from afar, seeing u walking to school, seeing u paying attention to classes with that lovesick expression that made draken go 'wtf'.

He also gets jealousy very easily when somebody hit up on u, one time his entire mood was spoiled and the atmosphere is just so creepy when he destroyed every punching bag in his grandpa's dojo out of anger just because he saw a guy talking to u, he wanted to beat the shit out of that person but he had to tell himself to hold back because he doesnt wanna scare u. He clenched his fist in anger, he kept his eye on u until emma and hinata walked u home, then he followed u along with draken who was being dragged along-

When it comes to u, mikey was surprisingly very detailed, what r your likes and dislikes, fav food, fav place, fav store and even how many cat friends u've made, he always find a chance to get closer to u, so everytime he will invite u to hang out and maybe join the toman meeting, eventually his hardwork paid off, u now considered him as a bestfriend.

Even tho hes not the first friend u've made (emma and the girls r the first) but hes your closest male friend. U told him about this once when u guys were hanging out, and oh god mikey exe. stop working. He then showed off this news to his bestfriends, he texted them while kicking his legs like a highschool girl in excitement and his face is hella red.

[My-🔑]：Y/N CHAN JUST CALLED ME HER BESTFRIEND AHH

[Drak🥚]：Mikey i can hear u screaming from miles away

[BestbroMitsu]：Congrates Mikey!

[ImSoSmart]：Oi mikey, r u gonna tell her or what, and chifuyu, wtf r u doing

[I♥PekeJ]：Baji san, im just feeding PekeJ

[My-🔑]：Idk if i should tell her, If i confessed to her and she rejects me, i will be putting this friendship in danger.

[Takemichi]：But u continue to be love in silent isnt an option either! What if someone else confessed to her first, did u even see her locker?? All filled with love letters.

[My-🔑]：I just have to get rid of them all! Y/n chan didnt even need to read those stupid letters.

[Drak🥚]：Bro-, just go confess, seeing u like this kinda hurts me

[My-🔑]：Aww! Ken-chin r u worry about me??

[Drak🥚]：I DO NOT!

[BestbroMitsu]：But takemichi has a point tho, u cant just go on killing that person who confessed to her because u were afraid to ruin this relationship.

[I♥PekeJ]：I mean, look at y/n chan, shes so happy when she is talking to mikey. Maybe we should ask her if she like someone.

[ImSoSmart]：I almost forgot, where r the twins?

[Takemichi]：Souya and Nahoya? They say they r helping with the ramen thing if i remember.

The boys continue to chat while mikey is just lying down staring into the ceiling. He has a crush on u for 8 months but he wanted to go further to be more than just bestfriends, he have been trying so hard to make it not obvious that he likes u but your presence alone just drives him crazy, the way u talk and the way u look. He wanted to ask emma if u have someone in mind but afraid that this question will be soon heard into your ears, and then u will know about his crush on u and bro couldn't expect the worst.

'should i confessed? What if she rejects me? Then im putting this friendship in danger, i dont want that, i wanna stay close to her.. But takemitchy may be right.'

On the other hand, u were texting and chatting with the girls on the phone, u guys were talking about types of guys yall like and etc, then they suddenly turned to u.

[Emma♡]：Y/n Chan! Do u have someone in mind??

[Hina🌻]：Yea! Im curious too, i wonder what type of guys does a goddess like u take interest in!

[Senju🐑]：Oo i wanna know too

[Yuzuha🌸]：Spill the tea!

Tbh, u actually DO have someone in mind, its none other than your male BFF, mikey.

[Y/n Chan]：Yes..i actually liked someone, hes always been so close to me, he is considered the strongest, he is also caring, full of energy and a funny perso-

[All]：It's mikey isnt it?

[Y/n Chan]：EHH????? How did u guys know!?

[Emma♡]：Besides us, who is your most closest male friend? Yep its Mikey

[Hina🌻]：And y/n chan u r always smiling so happily when u r with him^^

[Yuzuha🌸]：And number one, who the hell can be considered the strongest other than mikey

[Senju🐑]：And number two, hes the first person in my mind when u said 'full of energy'

[Y/n Chan]：U-uhh im gonna go bed! Bye!

_Y/n Chan has logged off_

U cupped your cheeks in embarrassment, now the girls know u liked mikey and they r very excited, Especially emma, she knows her cute brother have been obsessed u and have been wanting to confess but hes afraid u will reject him, but the answer turn out to be better! U like him too, now mikey finally have the chance.

Emma Sprints to mikey's room, she opens the door to find mikey looking at your photo while mumbling 'should i confess' emma have seen this alot of times so who cares! She then showed mikey the text and told him u liked him too. Mikey was speechless, he couldn't process what happen, u really liked him too? Is this a dream? If this is a dream, dont wake him up, after asking emma a 100th times if this was an edited text, he then looked at your photo, picked up the phone and talked to his bestfriends about this, so now, the girls and boys r coming together to give u something special..

The next day, the sano sibling and draken showed up at your house as usual to walk to school together with u, on the way, u noticed a guy who is need of help for finding something. U look down at your feet and found a phone.

U picked it up and hand it to that person, the guy held your hand out of gratitude for finding his phone and u were startled by it, this action alone already made mikey's face darkened, but what the guy said later is what really getting on mikey's nerves.

"U look so pretty! Ive never seen someone so beautiful, Do u have a boyfriend? Do u wanna be mine? May i have your phone number and name?"

"Uhh sorry to interupt, but y/n chan we gotta go"

Emma dragged u away in disgust because number 1 that person held your hand without your consents, and number 2 she know her bff is pretty and aint no freaking way shes letting that creep ruining her brother's love life.

Both girls quickly headed their way to school, and back to mikey, shit he is really triggered- he went forward and straight up punched the guy right in face that sents him flying-

The guy looked up and was in face to face with mikey's full on killer face. Without hesitation, mikey step on the guys's face hard that caused him to fall again, he continuously stomped on it while giving him a dead warning.

"Dont u ever show up your face again infront of MY Future Wife, If it isnt for her i might have killed u on the spot. U dont wanna know what im capable of and what im gonna do to u if u ever breath in the same air as her again."

If draken werent there to stop him, mikey might have actually kill that person on 'accident', the guy scurried away while being deeply traumatized, even tho mikey is just a teenager, his atmosphere and strength itself already made a full grown adult break into cold sweat.

-School Lunchtime

U meet up with mikey behind the school to eat your lunch together, even a dummy could see how happy mikey is to be able to eat with u, and eat the bento U made for him. He only wants to feed u, cause this is what lovers do right? His cheeky smile just made your heart skip a beat for a few seconds, its pretty much the same day for u, but the things is, your other friends r no where to be found. U asked mikey where r the boys and he just shrugged his shoulder, u thought that they r probably busy with their school work.

It was evening when your school work was done and u headed down the path, u were expecting mikey to be there but u were instead greeted by your fav girl friends at the gate, and mikey and the boys was still not there, instead of hugging u like they usually do, emma put a blindfold on u, hinata and senju held each of your hand to make sure u dont fall, yuzuha carried your bag for u and emma lead the way to a certain place.

U r just so confuse at this point because u were totally not expecting this, u wanna know what happen and whats with the blindfold thingy.

"huh?? Where r we going? Whats this?"

"hehe, just follow us y/n chan! Dont trip"

Lmao the girls were giggling so hard that made u extra confuse but u still follow them, after 10 mins of walking, u have arrived and it what it feels like a field to u since the amount of grass u felt below your feet as u walk, emma sat u down a bench and by the time u realized it, it was already a little dark outside, infront of u was a small clif in an angle of the city down there, u were fascinated by the view and wanted to get up but yuzuha just pressed your shoulder down to let u stay on the bench.

Just when u thought the girl's intention where just to bring u here to see the view, emma suddenly said "shes here u can come out now" then a voice and multiple footsteps can be heard behind, u turned around and was facing a whole lot bushes of wild red roses and firefiles, toman was just standing there creating a large circle and mikey seems to be standing in the middle, holding what seems to be like a red rose. U stood up and walk towards him, wanting to know about the situation

Before u can even react, he was already near u and Kneeled on One knee?? U r flustered and turned your head to the right, facing the girls, who were all giggling so hard like a little child, u then turned you head to the left, looking at toman who were all happy and worked up, then u heard mikey whisper to u softly.

"hey y/n, pay attention to me.."

U turned your head back to mikey and had a face-to-face contact with his soft look, u then notice that he has his gang jacket hanging on his shoulder while he just had a simple bandage wrap around his stomach on his body. U held up one of your head to cover your mouth cause u r blushing so hard, which mikey finds it cute. He held on one of your hand started to speak loud and clear to everybody about his confession to u.

"U know, when i first met u, i thought it was blessing, from your appearance and personality, to the day i know u r the right one for me, i swear to all my life i will make u the most happiest girl ever, i promise to protect u and adore u. I've never knelt down before, you were my first. So y/n, will u be my girlfriend?"

With that saying, he hand u the rose while looking all lovesick at u, just then, toman suddenly started roaring cheering and clapping 'Get Togther! Get Together!', u lowered your head while holding onto the rose. Just as mikey thought u r gonna reject him, u said out the ans that its a dream for him to ever hear that, Especially from u.

"I'd love to be your girlfriend.."

Mikey could not believe his ears, he grabbed onto u and spin u around in circles, i dont think hes gonna stop until u told him to because u r getting a bit dizzy, everyone was cheering for the new couple and the girl friends were all just giving 'my child has grew up' vibe. Mikey hugged u tight and buried his face into your neck while whispering something into your ears.

"do u know how many times ive been dreaming of this? My dear y/n u made me so happy that u finally belong to me.."

With that aside, he placed a soft kiss on you, and man that was your first kiss! U r now covering your face with your palm, face and ears red, with mikey holding u in his arm not wanting to let go and toman's cheering kept roaring, making this night extremely memorable in your life.

This is truely a special surprise..

[geminai-ramblez]

CLAWS PURIFYING WIND AU

SUMMARY: Even, if he didn't remember being an active member of delinquency, Takemichi. . . surely has left a heavy impression on others on how they wanted to be. Whether they always came out winning, reassured, or even. . . just confident in themselves to just know that it didn't matter if there was a mirage of purples or blues on their skin, not even when they threw up blood, they just knew. . . he just knew. . . they'll come out on top.

CONTEXT: This is a continuation of PART ONE of CLAWS!Takemichi and how he either interacts or changes the plot of Tokyo Revengers by not following the CANON version of Hanagaki Takemichi. Oh, and how CLAWS!Takemichi sees the world through the lenses of someone reincarnated into a new world where. . . there were no more demons or demon slayers at the break of moonlight. Just. . . peace. Tranquility. . . but surely, how can that last any longer?

CHARACTER(S): BAJI KEISUKE, HANAGAKI TAKEMICHI, HANEMIYA KAZUTORA, KAKUCHO (IMPLIED), MATSUNO CHIFUYU, MRS. HANAGAKI, SHINAZUGAWA SANEMI, TOMAN (IMPLIED), AND YAMAMOTO TAKUYA.

WARNING(S): UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISM AND UNHEALTHY MINDSETS. IMPLIED BLOOD LOSS, DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER (not DID, there is a difference here), AND STAB WOUND.

I'm not sure if that's all the warnings, but these are the main ones, if I do miss a major one, please do tell me! Thank you and happy reading/happy scrolling.

A/N: Hello, it's me again! :)

You already know the gist. . . me and my worker bees giving you what we have to offer lore-wise and showcasing it to you all! I do hope you enjoy your reading and without further ado, let's spill the beans!

PLOT POINTS:

So, where to start? There were some key concepts that I left out during PART ONE. . . let's start with that then!

CLAWS!Takemichi doesn't remember straight away who he is (was). I think I implied this, or just didn't mention it very explicitly, but by this story's standard, CLAWS!Takemichi does not remember who he is from the start.

The "first arc" that has been altered is Takemichi slowly remembering who he used to be, it's only at the end of the arc when Takemichi is pushed into the train tracks during the beginning of the show/manga, that everything starts to be put into its proper place.

He has flashbacks or well his 'lives' flash before his eyes.

I spent a good 5-ish chapters just explaining how this Takemichi alters the canon and still faces the same consequences just altered to fit with the theme of 'reincarnation'.

One of many changes that have been committed was the fact that Takemichi hardly had any 'childhood friends,' yes, Takemichi meets Kakucho and even helps him yet Takemichi doesn't offer an olive branch of friendship till Kakucho claims him as a friend. (and reluctantly Takemichi accepts without any desire to pursue the friendship till it means something to him.)

Then Kakucho is no longer in the picture.

Takuya doesn't appear till Junior High, however, that does not mean that neither met each other as children.

Takemichi just doesn't remember when he first met Takuya. Takemichi firmly believes he first met Takuya in Junior High and has only interacted with him in Junior High.

Which, as you know, is a big issue because that's not the case.

Another thing I've failed to mention previously is that Takemichi often has dissociation episodes. Either it is triggered by internal or external forces or it just happens when Takemichi lets his mind wander for too long.

This results in Takemichi often simulating himself to doing something so he won't be like a doll letting the world pass by.

He doesn't have the time or effort or will to sit around and look pretty if it means being left alone with the thoughts that push him to remember a past that has long since been reduced to a mere folktale by the younger generations.

Especially, where in this life. . . he has nothing else to worry about other than living a life where he does basically anything his heart could desire. (despite not having a family in this life to call his own — or to protect.)

Again, this results in Takemichi's habit of intervening in fights, especially, when he was younger since he dissociated a lot as a child which led to this 'fighting the big guys' that resulted in CLAWS!Takemichi interacting with the Tokyo Revengers characters way earlier than canon without ever really retaining the fact he has met them before.

This is how Takuya met Takemichi.

Either Takuya was a victim of the bullying or he was a spectator to the fights Takemichi took part in, and he realized Takemichi just standing there non-reactant was wrong. At least, something was wrong with Takemichi. So, he took it upon himself to always look after Takemichi without ever really saying anything to Takemichi.

This leads to this odd dynamic duo since Takemichi never knew this. He never thought of the 'hows' or the 'gaps' in his memory when he saw himself back in his childhood home.

Takemichi always assumes he just walked home subconsciously and never asked 'how did I get here?' because Takemichi truly believes he did it on his own. He never assumes there's a third person in all of this.

Of course, this assumes that Takuya lives nearby and knows which house to bring Takemichi back to whenever he goes blank.

Another thing that changes that I did state, but didn't dwell on is Takemichi's ability to fight. CLAWS!Takemichi can fight and does fight. Oftentimes, he fights for a reason because morally wise, Takemichi fights to protect because Sanemi fought to protect humanity from demons.

Which is a noble reason. However, he also fights because he can't do anything else.

As much as I want to dwell on making this Takemichi a saint, he is not a saint. Especially, if Takemichi is the reincarnation of Sanemi. Sanemi isn't a saint, he follows the rules, but his actions can be viewed from a range of perspectives.

And if I'm being honest, I didn't even like Sanemi prior to reading the manga (thankfully reading the manga helps, though it doesn't always justify his actions) so, trying to make CLAWS!Takemichi be like this saint-like hero just won't make sense.

At least, not at first.

Another thing, about this Takemichi is that communication can be a hit or miss because Takemichi knows communication is important, his mother taught him about it after all. However, as Sanemi, being a hundred percent honest just will not do for either of them.

So, depending on the person and what they're asking it's a 50/50 chance of Takemichi answering with the truth or a half-baked or avoiding the truth.

One last thing for tonight that I want to talk about it's Takemichi's headspace! Or mindset if that makes sense because I've implied somethings that I never put on PART ONE.

Takemichi's mindset is like a contradiction, an ambivalence because mixing Sanemi with Takemichi's personality was a little hard (in my opinion) to do.

On one hand, Takemichi learns to be a leader, he's a single child, and he's this coward that learns to care for people to the point he's willing to do whatever it takes to get the perfect ending.

On the other, from what we see from Genya's perspective about Sanemi, is that as an older brother, he had to grow up faster, he didn't need to worry about himself, he was irrelevant to his own self, but his siblings? They were his priority.

His worries, his feelings, and everything about Sanemi just didn't matter and when his mother turned into a demon - when it was just Sanemi and Genya - Sanemi pushed Genya away because in his eyes there wasn't anything else he could do. There was nothing that Sanemi could do back then that didn't end up in failure.

And as everyone knows, trauma affects everyone differently. Having that brash exterior and showing everyone teeth instead of his heart was the only way, back then, for Sanemi to protect others and himself.

He couldn't hesitate, he couldn't misplace himself, and he couldn't mourn properly. He just had to go, go, go.

Manga knows how the ending goes for this, but for spoiler's sake I will not elaborate other than this: bittersweetness.

So, in order for me to make this balance work, I had to make this Takemichi be this calm, confident, but brash individual. Also, there are mental health issues at play to his character here as well because Takemichi's actions can count as heroic or caring, but Takemichi never thinks that.

Takemichi always thinks he's doing what he can do. There isn't an afterthought 'if this was a good action,' it's only 'what can I do right now.' At the current moment, whether that be intimidating the enemy, his own companions, or straight up using his own body to act as a meat shield. . . Takemichi's actions always have a good reason, but never the right angle.

Think of it like this since I really don't want to spoil the manga, but think of Muichiro and Yuichiro. Yuichiro cares about his brother, we know this because Yuichiro confesses to this at the end of his life. Of course, we don't see how Yuichiro cares because his actions aren't viewed as caring.

Yuichiro cared and probably wanted Muichiro to learn how to handle himself and live a long life, but we didn't know that till his death where you see the full picture.

This is how I view Sanemi sometimes and how this Takemichi acts. The reader is aware of Takemichi's things and thoughts, but not the T.R. characters. Chifuyu didn't know why Takemichi thought it was a good idea to use his own body as a meat shield. His mother knew Takemichi did things for a reason, but never fully comprehended the 'why' of his actions. And none of Toman would know why Takemichi was so hell-bent on being Kisaki's number-one hater.

Not till the 'why' came after all was said and done.

For Chifuyu, who is a confirmed reincarnation, and who will remember his memories eventually. Takemichi used himself because Takemichi didn't want Baji to die. The angle and height at which the knife was heading were going to hit a vital spot and unless Baji knew how to clot that up fast enough, Baji could've died.

This death would've affected Chifuyu and it definitely had in the canon, but this Takemichi knew if he were to be stabbed and bled, he'd be fine because this wasn't his first rodeo (and it won't be his last.)

I didn't even add this at all in the last part, but the way I thought about this was that once Takemichi got stabbed for Baji, it was like there was a switch in personality.

Either due to the adrenaline or the fact that the knife Kazutora used did hit something major in Takemichi's body, Takemichi was out for blood. Legit, he was like "If I'm going down, I'm going down with a bang."

Because the end result of the Valhalla vs Toman arc is that Toman and every other gang that gathered to watch the fight witness just how stubborn and unwilling Takemichi is to lose a war and to die without at least doing something prior to knocking on death's door.

And that's if Takemichi gets to die.

In order for me to make sense, this is what happened in the Valhalla vs Toman arc, Takemichi tries (and fails because he sucks at negotiations) to convince Baji to drop it and Bloody Halloween happens. Then when the fight commences, things are going smoothly because Takemichi can fight and will kick butt. However, Baji gets killed - or he was supposed to get killed till Takemichi recalls his main purpose was to not get Baji killed.

It was a split-in-the-moment decision to run from one side of the arena to the other, Takemichi knew Chifuyu couldn't go against Baji, it was kinda obvious from Takemichi's perspective, but he didn't have time to think and the worst - in Takemichi's eyes - was that he ended up dead or in a hospital.

Of course, it has been a solid minute getting injured and whether or not Takemichi could say he enjoyed it or not is up for debate. (Again, while Takemichi isn't in a full-blown depressive mindset or accepting of his reality, there are times where he needs to be anchored. The easiest way for him is through the adrenaline of a fight: a die or live situation.)

The sudden adrenaline boost was like a trigger for Takemichi and especially for Sanemi because while Kazutora gets pushed away harshly (that's the only thing Takemichi will do to Kazutora), the knife used to stab Takemichi is taken out (dumbly, but Takemichi wasn't thinking straight), and he bulldozed into battle (literally in a single jump that should be physically impossible and aerial flips that have to had hurt and aggravated the fatal wound).

Letting himself use the body that has been forced to play house into the reality of what it can do, what it should've been doing from the very start.

The shout and yell of Takemichi's name does bring forth a lot of attention and when it reaches the captains and Mikey himself about Takemichi's current state it's like a battle has shifted to get Takemichi to stop because he's bleeding out.

Though of course, it isn't as simple as that, and reaching Takemichi seems impossible, and when the ambulance and hint of police involvement get mentioned the battlefield withers.

It takes several, and I mean several people, to get Takemichi to stop because he doesn't let up, he doesn't stop hitting anything with the white jacket. Whether it be kicking some sense into them or springboarding off of people, Toman is actively trying to get Takemichi to stop from dying, and when they do they are shocked by the outcome.

Takemichi did lose quite a bit of blood and is hanging on to life with his thumbs, but Toman was surprised that Takemichi - at some point - lost consciousness and was fighting purely from adrenaline and instincts that have been burned into his skin like scars that can never be removed.

The recovery process is something entirely of its own so, I won't ramble about it, but what I can ramble about for a little longer is that due to the fact that Chifuyu is a reincarnation of someone Takemichi knew, this plays into the fact about Takemichi's why.

Takemichi has a suspicion about who Chifuyu was back then, but he won't know till his hunch is either confirmed or outright incorret.

Also, funnily enough, Baji is also a reincarnation. This will show the duality of reincarnation and the pain of being able to remember and being oblivious to how things used to be.

Anyway, before I go and make this more lengthy than it has to be, the next part will most likely dwell on which characters are reincarnations and who are not.

Also, I may or may not example another arc or so, but we shall see. Funnily enough, I've already written about this and even have chapters on AO3 about this idea though I never got far till the beginning of the first arc, but I plan to write in it again.

I find that writing out on what happens is nice and I enjoy rambling about it and then writing about it or vice versa.

Ahem, thank you for reading this far and for your time. I hope you have a happy reading and have a fair day, night, or whatever time it is for you. Thank you, and I bid you adieu!

(Not sure if this counts as a promo and if it does, I'm sincerely sorry, that is not my intention, but if you're genuinely curious about how I write the actual story this is called 'CLAWS-PURIYING WIND by KitCat_The_TatoBean'.

So, just the AU name and that's it. I'm currently rewriting it and the explanation of arcs to you guys has always helped me when I do write. So, only read this if you want to, just reading this is helpful enough, and again, thank you for your time. Have a lovely day! :D)

[annie-sae]

Wouldn’t mind

Pairing: Kazutora x fem!reader, past Baji x fem!reader

Hurt/comfort

Author note: This is my way of dealing with Baji’s death finally being animated, this is me comforting myself so I don’t keep crying.

Also, I posted this on AO3 as well:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33561445

Part of the reason you decided to get close to him was kind of the same reason why you decided to help out Chifuyu and the remaining founding Toman members in any way you could; even if that meant putting yourself in various fights. It was a way to honor his memory.

You met Baji Keisuke; your Kei; as nothing more than a child because you were neighbors and your mom happened to be friends with his mother which ended in them arranging lots of playdates for you both ever since you could remember.

Your mothers always said you were meant to be and they were right, so yeah, they were delighted once you two finally stopped denying yourselves and started to date.

You two got together after one time in which Baji got into a particularly bad fight and you found him on your way home; his hands all bruised but despite how much they must have been hurting he was smiling in that unique way of his that always told you that no matter the pain he won and enjoyed himself.

To be honest you didn’t like that he always got into fights nor how reckless he could be but you had to admit that there was always something about the way his eyes glinted that drew you in.

You dragged him inside your home, knowing that his mother would flip out if she saw him and taking advantage of the fact that your mother was to get home late, you pushed him to the couch, went to the kitchen for a bag of frozen vegetables, grabbed his hand after cleaning the blood off and held the bag to his knuckles hoping that it would bring down the swelling.

There was no way of knowing who made the first move but next thing you knew after that was that you two were kissing; the frozen bag laying on the floor long forgotten. After that you finally acknowledged your feelings and started dating. There was no grand gesture, it was just one of many moments that you shared daily yet it was perfect.

Baji liked to keep you away from Toman businesses so for the most part you didn’t actually know the rest of the members except for Chifuyu; whom you met on various occasions while going to visit your boyfriend; and Mikey that you met as a child since you were always following around Baji and in a way became your friend too; but that was it. He kept that apart from the side of his life that involved you because he was well aware of how messy it could get and he didn’t want to drag you into any trouble.

Yet his gang life caught up to him, crashing into your world and pushing you into a lonely abyss that still to this day left a hole in your chest.

You’d always remember that dreaded day when your mother came home later than usual without letting you know anything, eyes teary and red rimmed. The moment she looked at you, she pulled you into a strong hug and sobbed as she caressed your hair murmuring a string of words you couldn’t really make out.

She was the one to deliver the news of his passing, how she was late because she was at the Baji household and had to accompany his mother to claim her son’s body after the woman received a call from the police station telling her that the boy had been stabbed and bled to death.

The day would never come when you’d forget the pain that shot through your body as you learned that he was gone. It hurt unlike anything else you have ever experienced, as if someone was crushing your chest like it was made out of paper, air knocked out of your lungs and the only thing you could do was scream helplessly his name as you held for dear life onto your mother’s frame. You felt bile rise up your throat so fast that it was a miracle that you didn’t throw up.

His funeral wasn’t any easier. Not when you arrived and his mom pulled you to his casket saying just how handsome he looked, inviting you to see him in a way that you couldn’t refuse.

Around an hour after yourself, arrived Chifuyu who went to you after giving his condolences to his best friend’s mother that held him the way she used to hold her boy but now she’d never get the chance to do anymore.

If you were being completely honest, you couldn’t remember much more of that day, your mind was hazy, too many gaps in the memory of all that transpired.

Only two things were clear as day in your mind. First was the way that Kei had looked inside that coffin smiling peacefully and for a moment you almost fooled yourself into thinking that he was just sleeping, but he was pale, his canines weren’t showing and his eyes were slightly sunken but you had to agree with his mom because he looked handsome indeed. The second was that Chifuyu stayed by your side throughout the whole thing, in fact he was the one who told you what actually happened and you were thankful for it all.

He told you what Baji did and why he did it and you believed it the second the words left his mouth because you knew him well and if there was anything that defined your beloved boyfriend was his heart, how willing he was to give anything for those that he cared about; his unwavering loyalty; you just wished he hadn’t put himself on the line for that.

Twelve years have passed and a lot of things changed since his parting, for starters you became a member of Toman.

One night; around a month after everything happened; you went to the Musashi temple fully aware that it was the place that the boys used as their base and in front of everyone gathered there; bracing yourself; you walked towards Mikey, bowed deeply and begged for him to accept you as a member.

At first most of the guys there laughed at you while others frowned and called you names shooing you away but you stayed still, that was until a big hand grabbed you by the arm and that was when you pulled away from it and punched the guy square in the nose remembering the time Baji taught you how to pack a punch. The guy tried to send a blow towards you but was stopped by Chifuyu yet the whole commotion came to a halt with Mikey’s commanding voice.

“Y/N, you know this is a guys-only gang”

“I’m aware, Mikey, but” you clenched your fists “but Keisuke cared about this gang so I feel like I must join, to protect everything he fought for” you raised your head “he also taught me how to fight so you don’t have to worry about me being a burden on you and I know a few things about first aid, I can carry my own weight” you were thankful for your mother being a nurse and having taught you a bit.

He stared at you, his eyes giving away nothing.

“The first division can take her in” Chifuyu supplied.

Mikey raised a brow and looked at another blonde guy.

“Takemitchy, you are the first division’s captain, do you agree to take her?” the guy straightened up and after sharing one look with Chifuyu he nodded.

An uproar started as a lot of guys started to complain about how bad of an idea it was to admit a girl in the gang but Draken stopped them with one word.

Mikey looked at you once more, then he sighed and nodded.

“Then welcome, Y/N L/N, from now on you are a member of the Tokyo Manji Gang under the first division”.

Later that day you gave your thanks to Chifuyu and Takemichi, for getting behind you and promised to help them in any way possible but Chifuyu made you promise to be safe and only join them as a last resource because he couldn’t allow Baji’s girlfriend to get hurt since he promised him he’d take care of you.

You knew that your parents wouldn’t be happy with you being a part of a gang but you had to do it, it was a way to stay close to Kei and you needed that or else you would have gone crazy, you were also thankful because life had it that you were assigned to the division that used to be his.

Shit happened but you always took things head on and you had to admit that Chifuyu and Takemichi played a crucial part in you surviving all the crappy things that happened until the gang disbanded. While still a member you were extremely grateful for makeup since it helped you hide from your parents a good amount of nasty bruises that came from the fights.

The second thing that changed was that you moved out of your parents’ house from the moment you started college and although at first it was hard and you were living in a tiny apartment that resembled more to a matchbox yet it was the only thing you could afford at the moment with the part time job you had but you were decided to not return home, not because you weren’t comfortable with them but because they were already doing too much for you by paying for your studies so you didn’t want them to be spending any more money on you.

You managed and after a while you got a better job that meant a higher pay grade and you moved out of your tiny place to your current one that was bigger and just a couple of minutes away from the cemetery where the Baji family grave was.

Even when you had exams due the next day, even when you were way too busy, you still made it a habit to go visit him daily, it didn’t matter if you had to walk for long or that you were so tired you could have fallen asleep while standing, you still went to see him.

Your mother told you once that maybe you should let go, that he wouldn’t like to have you clinging to him this much and to appease her you went to a couple of dates once every three months but you never made it past the first date but funnily enough that landed you a few long lasting friendships with some of the guys you tried to date.

One time his mom talked to you and told you just how grateful she was with you for loving her son the way you did but that you didn’t owe him anything, that you could move on because she was sure that was what he would have wanted and maybe she was right; to hell you knew that she was; but it wasn’t a matter of you feeling like you owed devotion to him but more like no one ever compared to him, not a single person awoke in you the same feelings he did, not with the same intensity it was kind of like a beautiful curse because you grieved daily his absence but you wouldn’t want it other way, even if you went back and told yourself that by loving him you’d end up in pain, you’d still go through it all because the time spent with him was worth it and you told her that so she smiled and even talked with your mother making her stop begging you to date and leave you to your own devices.

Another thing that changed was you because you cut your hair really short; yet without needing it you still wore a hair tie on your wrist daily as if it was some sort of amulet because it reminded you of him.

Also, with the bigger place you adopted three beautiful cats that you loved dearly, first there was Blue; whose black hair shone blue under certain light hence his name; then there was Leo; an orange tabby cat you found one day and adopted instantly; and Jin; a maine coon that was your appointed guardian and didn’t like anyone around you nor him.

The three always slept with you; which made you thankful for getting a big bed when you first moved; and in a way they made your life less lonely because in their presence you felt as if Keisuke was right there with you which made sense because you two had made plans about living together once highschool was over and then adopt a ton of cats, all the cats your parents never allowed in the house when you were younger.

Of course things don’t always end up the way we plan them, you knew that better than most although to be completely honest you never expected Kazutora to come into the picture.

You new who he was, on one occasion Kei told you that him speaking on his behalf and taking the full blame for what happened with Mikey’s older brother was a big factor on him staying out of juvie so in a way you were thankful to him but you also knew; through Chifuyu’s retelling; what happened on that horrible halloween when you lost your whole world.

Even when you knew that everything had been planned out by Kisaki, for the longest time you were resentful towards Kazutora, even going as far as to curse his sole existence because hadn’t it been for him then your Keisuke would surely still be with you. It took you years for you to come to terms with everything and accept that Baji chose to leave all because he cared about that boy way too much.

You came to realize that by hating Kazutora, by wishing him the worst and spending so much energy in resenting him you were betraying Kei’s wishes.

His final will was to keep Toman’s funding members; Kazutora included; safe, he chose death, going down as a villain to his friends, all just to protect them, to save him so the least you could do was carry on his wishes and look after them, not only after Chifuyu and the others but you also felt the moral obligation towards Keisuke, to welcome Kazutora and help him back into his life.

Now, you went to help around Chifuyu and Kazutora’s shop, fully aware that it was their way of honoring his memory, by living out the dream he never had the chance for.

You could understand them because everyday you did the same, hell, you even went to study veterinary because that had been the plan all those years back; he was supposed to open his pet shop and you were supposed to be the one to tend to the animals, he always said that you had the best shot because you usually did rather good at school.

You met Kazutora the day after Chifuyu picked him up from prison. You already knew that he would be joining you two for lunch the following day because he told you in advance in case you weren’t ready to meet the man that had played a big part in your old boyfriend’s death.

Chifuyu by that point had become your best friend in the world, your constant support. What started as a way to cope with Baji’s loss, as both of you searching in the other for any vestiges of his existence with the passing of the years turned into something more, a fraternal bond forged through shared grief.

Chifuyu was like a brother to you and you knew that he saw you as a sister, you cared about him deeply.

If you were being completely honest, you were a bit torn when a month prior to the release, he announced to you that he’d be picking up the guy and was planning on welcoming him as a roommate and as an extra hand at the shop; that is if the other accepted. I mean, you’d have to be crazy to just accept it as it was, no questions asked because whether manipulated and messed up in the head, it didn’t change the fact that he was the one to stab him.

Of course you knew it hadn’t been easy for him to reach that, it was obvious that he had thought it through, you could see in his eyes just how much went into making that decision but that he was sure that that was Baji would have liked and you knew that as well because that was the type of person Keisuke used to be, a bit rough on the edges but so caring and willing to give for those he loved, and he sure as hell had proven how much he cared about the guy.

You had never talked to him, what little you knew about him was what Baji had mentioned all those years back when he almost went to prison and what Chifuyu told you, how he was getting the help he needed and seemed to be making progress but that was it.

To say it was awkward at first was a big understatement. He was extremely quiet and even after you greeted him he refused to make eye contact while you kept fidgeting in place trying to come up with something to say. Thank god for Chifuyu since he was the one to introduce you although he could have been a bit more careful when he introduced you as Baji’s old girlfriend, although you couldn’t blame him because there was no way around it, that was what you were.

The moment he understood who you were he froze, eyes focusing on his hands under the table. You noticed how uneasy he became and with a look you asked Chifuyu to give you a minute, thankfully he understood and trusting you excused himself from the table.

You reached out, stilling your hand in the middle of the space between you when you saw him flinch, something that reminded you of the time when you encountered Leo for the first time; hurt and scared. Kazutora in a way resembled him, something lonely and broken about him that gave you the final push to get close.

Just like you did way back for Leo you extended your open hand towards him, facing upwards to show him that you had no ill intentions and you rested your hand on the table just a few centimeters away from his arm, not wanting to startle him but wanting to show him that you were trying to get close.

“I don’t hate you, Hanemiya-kun”

His gaze zeroed on your hand and then eyes of the color of the lightest brown you’ve ever seen; almost the same shade as amber; met yours wary and trembling but you simply nodded confirming that you were being completely honest.

“Why?” his voice came out broken.

“Because Keisuke cared about you” you smiled, feeling your eyes get watery and Kazutora’s face became blurry due to the tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I- I wish I could take it all back, I really do, I...” you heard the words come out cracked and you shook your head and reached for his arm.

“I know...it’s fine. Like I said, I don’t hate you, it’s been a while since that happened and I’ve made up my mind, I’ve already accepted it as part of life” that’s a lie and you know, you miss him every day so much that you still cling to the little things he left behind, that’s the reason why you haven’t been in a relationship after him.

You quickly wiped the tears out of your eyes and looked at him once more. “I’d like to be there for you, maybe be friends even, that is if you’d like that”

Kazutora’s mind was running laps. Was he hearing you correctly? Did you actually say that you wanted to be friends with him? Be friends with the guy that killed your boyfriend nonetheless. He couldn’t wrap his head around that thought, it was simply impossible, he was a villain, a rotten fruit that nobody had ever liked and that poisoned the only good things he had in his life, why would anyone want to be near him?

First there was Chifuyu; who for all he could gather used to consider Baji as his best friend; welcoming him into his apartment, offering him a place to stay and even a job no questions asked, that was already hard to understand, but now having you willing to welcome him? That was almost ridiculous because you surely knew, he saw the way you interacted with Chifuyu, there was no way in hell he didn’t tell you, so why?

Why were you being kind to him? So gentle? Why couldn’t you just scream and curse him? Heaven knows for how long he has been cursing himself, regretting everything he did, from Shinichiro to Baji. He deserved to be yelled at, to be shunned away from society, he was deserving of pain and should be tossed to the abyss of loneliness, forever in the dark, far away from the sun.

He couldn’t fathom why on God's name was Baji’s girlfriend in front of him extending her delicate hand towards him. But even when he couldn’t understand he wanted to accept it. He knew he deserved nothing given how he had taken two lives but he wanted the embrace so badly.

He wanted company, friends, he didn’t want to be forever an outcast due to his bad decisions but instead he wanted to belong, to feel some sort of comfort, he wanted to bask in the sun’s warmth and for once in a very long time feel a bit of peace, he wanted saving, someone to tell him he was worthy even when he knew he wasn’t.

He looked at you once more, and something felt warm inside his chest; even his throat tightening; when he saw that you were still smiling gently at him despite the rebel tears that had escaped from your eyes.

“I’d like that” he smiled wobbly. “Also, Kazutora is fine”

“Then let’s be friends, Kazutora-kun” your smile grew broader and that was the start.

Surprisingly after that, it didn’t take long for you to grow comfortable with each other. He was quiet and would often be found spacing off but he was considerate towards you, actually he returned the same kindness you gave him, although it was evident that he was still wary and a bit rough on the edges he tried hard and you could see, so whenever he was having a bad mood you tried not to take it personally.

Through gentle words and patience, you won him over, even those around you were surprised at how quickly he warmed up to you but there was just something in him that pulled you, maybe that same thing that pushed you to adopt Leo when you found him malnourished and hurt on your way home from the cemetery or maybe it was something else.

Just as he warmed up to you, you warmed up to him. It was easy to talk to him, he was always willing to lend you an attentive ear, listening to your ramblings about the monotonous things that happened at the clinic, it didn’t matter that he knew nothing about the people you mentioned, he always listened like it was the most important thing in the world.

At first your interactions were always in company of Chifuyu, mostly at the shop while you went to visit which actually ended in you helping around to organize the merchandise or on the usual checkups on the animals to ensure that they were in the utmost condition for the moment someone decided to welcome them into their home.

Then, Kazutora started to walk you to the station but slowly that turned into him accompanying you all the way home and since he was taking the time to go with you you started offering him a cup of tea at your house before he’d leave again to get back to his and Chifuyu’s place.

That wasn’t the end of it because one cup of tea turned into two, then three and finally what started as a thanks for the inconvenience turned into hours-long talks about the most menial things just because.

Your cats loved him; Blue was always rubbing himself against his legs while Leo wasted no time to go lay on his legs and with a meow demand to be petted at the moment; but the most amazing thing of all was that Jin didn’t hate him, in fact he got way too comfortable with him which was a thing that you’d never seen, the only other person besides yourself that he liked was Hina, hell, not even Chifuyu had been able to charm the bigger cat and now apparently he didn’t mind Kazutora trailing behind you when even up to that day whenever he was visiting Chifuyu would get a growl from Jin but not Kazutora.

He was nice to your babies, he liked them and you could see that he didn’t change his demeanour towards them even when he thought you weren’t looking, in fact his voice got softer when directed at them and you were also the kind of person that trusted animal’s perception so the fact that your beloved cats liked him really told you that he had changed from what little you knew about his ways before being sent to prison after Baji’s death.

Kazutora started noticing the little things about you, for starters the way you’d always be singing a random thing off tune but with such energy that it was amusing but when asked he’d swear on his life that he wasn’t bothered that he actually liked it even though you knew very well that you weren’t a good singer but the opposite yet there was something powerful about having him joining in the middle of your singing, even when he didn’t know the lyrics he’d be humming along.

You were a sight to behold for him because in all the mess of his life he had never encountered someone as lively as yourself. Even after losing Baji you tried your best, you were determined and hardworking and so kind, not only to him but to every living thing no matter if they were animals, people or even plants, you amazed him because you were always so willing to be gentle to anyone.

You were a soothing presence.

That was not to say you didn’t have your bad days, after all you were only human and it was simply impossible to be at one hundred percent everyday the whole day, but you pushed through and you were always quick to ask for forgiveness if you had an outburst towards someone, you were the kind to not withhold apologies even when you weren’t at fault. He could remember a handful of times in which you apologized when he was the one to step on your toes.

You, of all people apologized to him, a social reject, a vermin, you apologized to him as if he was worthy, as if that was the logical thing to do but he knew that no matter what you did he knew that he was the one that still owed you a lifetime of apologies.

He wasn’t an idiot, he knew how much Baji meant to you even to that day, he noticed the little pieces of him lingering in your everyday, like how you always wore a hair tie around your wrist even when your hair was way too short for you to ever need it and whenever you had to get your bangs out of your face you used hair clips, never the tie on your wrist, the way you always cracked your knuckles as if getting ready for a fight even if you were only checking the animals and the way you carried yourself in a way resembled the way Baji used to.

He never told you but a few times he found you at the cemetery by coincidence while visiting Baji and there was something heartbreaking about seeing you kneeling on the ground with trembling shoulders despite it being a hot day. He regretted what he did, not only because he felt guilty or ‘cause he missed his friend but also for your sake because he wanted to see your happy smile, he never wanted to hear your cries ever again.

Just like him, you started seeking his company more and more, not only were you inviting him to stay and talk after walking you home but you made plans with him and just him, to go window shopping, for a cup of coffee, lunch dates, movie premieres; because you liked going to the movies so much and discovered that he was an enthusiast as much as you; movies on the couch, even just lazy sundays at your house playing the entire day with your cats.

Of course reaching this state was quick yet slow, it was hard to explain, like you were close to him and enjoyed his company, but it was different than it was with Hina or even Chifuyu yet you wouldn’t call it romantic, not at first.

Sure, there was something to Kazutora, you weren’t blind so you could see clear as day that he was rather handsome, probably one of the prettiest guys you’d ever met but there was something more, something that pulled you, something broken and lonely that tugged at your heart and told you to care for him.

At such a young age he had been to prison on two occasions and you could actually see that that was simply the tip of the iceberg. He had to mature too soon, he mentioned vaguely that his relation with his parents wasn’t the best and his eyes at times looked older than he actually was, plus it took a long time for him to get used to your affectionate ways because your love-language was physical touch. You had a special fascination with hair and all of your friends were used to that but Kazutora was like a kicked puppy that was only learning to trust in people once more.

You were a new breeze of air into his life, with your caring ways and funny nature he fell. For the first time in his life he had someone like you, at first it was difficult for him to realize that the fuzzy feeling inside his gut whenever he looked at you or even heard your voice meant what people called love but it was a given because he had never felt that way before.

For the longest time he felt like love was a lie, he remembered how bad his home life was, how strained and full of pain the things between his parents were, even now from time to time he had nightmares of his mother crying as his father hit her and then her begging him; only a child; to pick sides.

He wanted to hold you close, to keep you away from harm and to listen to your laugh for days on end, for once his heartbeat quickened for someone, he found a safe place in your presence, you were an oasis after years roaming the desert. You were such an unusual kind of certainty in his life that he never had but that he had searched for so long.

While Kazutora realized rather quickly; in comparison to you; that you had wormed your way into his heart making a home for you it took you around three years and others pointing it out for you to actually realize that he meant to you more than a friend.

The first one was your mother although not as subtly but rather by saying that she was happy that you were now with Kazutora which took you by surprise because you weren’t.

That wasn’t the end of it, but only the beginning.

The next one was Hina one day you were sleeping over at her house, but the cherry on top was Chifuyu.

���Hey, I know it’s not really my business, but when are you going to get together?” he asked one time when you went out for coffee.

“What?” you asked mindlessly, stirring some sugar into your beverage.

“Yeah, you’re kind of driving me crazy, it’s kind of annoying feeling like a third-wheel without actually being one, just get it over with” he spoke before taking a sip from his own cup.

“What?” you snapped your head back to him.

“Is that the only thing you’re gonna say?” he looked at you through half-lidded eyes.

“Yes, because I honestly don’t understand a single thing of what you’re saying” you shook your head and took a sip from your coffee.

“What I’m saying is that it’s obvious that you like Kazutora” he said matter-of-factly.

“Of course I like him, he’s my friend, I like you too”.

“No, you don’t, you like me as your friend but you like Kazutora in a different way, a lovey-dovey way” he deadpanned.

“No, Kei-” you began just like you did whenever your mother used to bring up your love life or thereof lack of it.

“Baji-san has been gone for years already” he cut you, wincing as he said that and to you his words felt like a slap across your face.

“Look, I know, trust me, I do, but it’s been long enough and if there is someone that makes you feel good you should go for it, he wouldn’t want you being unhappy for him” he sighed and with a hand pushed his hair back.

“He asked me to take care of you because he wanted you to be alright, he wanted you to be happy and he’d probably punch me if I simply stood by and watched you being miserable” he pushed his cup to the side, leaned over the table to grab you by the shoulders and looked into your eyes seriously.

“I know you like him, don’t be an idiot, it’s painfully obvious with how you look at him and spend almost all of your free time with him, Baji-san won’t be mad at you for finding someone new and I believe that he’d be happy that it is Kazutora of all people”.

Before you could respond to that, the sound of a new message cut you off and when you looked sideways to your phone on the table, a soft smile graced your lips when Kazutora’s name appeared on the screen. Without thinking you opened it and it was some random video of a kitten; somewhere along the way it became a thing between you and it reminded you of how Keisuke used to send you daily pictures of the cats that went to his house.

“It’s Kazutora, right?” Your face grew hot once you came back to reality, remembering suddenly with whom you were and what you were talking about.

“I’ll let you be, but don’t be an idiot and let yourself be happy” and just like that Chifuyu ended that conversation and quickly changed topics.

You knew you liked him, you felt warm whenever he was around you, his voice soothed you even on the worst of days and you looked forward to his messages. You had learned to find comfort in his eyes but they were a wrong shade; not brown enough.

He wasn’t Keisuke. He’d never be.

A few days later you found yourself in the shop, helping around but constantly sending glances in his direction, his back facing towards you, looking painfully similar to Kei’s even down to the hair length, although the color wasn’t the right match with it’s blonde streaks you could still fool yourself into thinking it was him.

But then he’d turn to look at you and send a smile your way and there would be a beauty mark under golden eyes and a tiger tattoo where it shouldn’t have been and that smile was lacking a pair of prominent incisives peeking through.

You knew it was wrong to look at him searching for Keisuke, searching for your lost love in another, clinging to the remnants of his passing through the world but you missed him so much.

At times you felt like you couldn’t even breathe, you had even fallen asleep in front of his family grave after a long day if you went to visit at dawn after not being able to make it at morning but you had to visit him daily in order to feel in his company because if you ever thought of skipping a lump appeared in your chest crushing your heart.

Yet, even then, even when you realized it wasn’t Baji your heart would skip a bit and your stomach would twist.

Later that night you found yourself walking home with Kazutora by your side in complete but comfortable silence, feeling the warmth oozing from his arm that was left hanging at his side lightly brushing against yours, rising even the tiniest hair of your arm.

Kazutora had been going at it over and over for months. At first, when he realized what he felt for you he decided to bury it deep and forever carry it in silence but as time went on he craved your presence.

He started wishing for more, more smiles, those smiles to be only for him, he even found himself looking forward to getting hurt while playing with your cats because it meant that you would be cleaning up his hands and putting on a band-aid with the utmost care and attention even if they were the most insignificant scratches ever.

He liked having your attention, he liked that you replied to any message from him almost immediately; unless you were attending to a patient then you’d reply as soon as possible; he also liked how your eyes would get bigger whenever something amazed you or if you found something even remotely cute.

Your constant ramblings plagued his mind at every hour no matter if he was asleep. Hell, he even went to Baji’s grave to ask for permission to love you, even if he did so in silence he felt like he owed that much to his old friend because you were his girl after all.

Why did it have to be you? Why Baji’s? Why did you have to come into his life and be like the sun? You were too much for him, too perfect, too good while he was nothing but a mess, too fucked up, too far away from repair. For fuck’s sake, he was the one that took your boyfriend away, he would have been better off handling your hate but instead you were there giving him so much it almost pained him, only adding up to his guilt.

This had to be some sick game of the universe. God must have been having the time of his life laughing at how the killer fell in love with the victim’s old love.

Before any of you knew, you had already gotten home and like it became custom you invited him inside for a cup of tea.

As soon as you opened the door, your three babies rushed to the entryway to greet you, Jin being the very first, you hadn’t taken two steps inside when he was already brushing himself against your legs. The other two weren’t too far but to your disappointment Leo approached Kazutora before even looking at you.

“I’ll stop bringing you here, you’re stealing them away from me” you pouted while kneeling down to hug Jin who looked at Kazutora with no distaste, then you picked up Blue and let him nuzzle your neck, after that still holding him you went to rub Leo with your free hand once he finally took notice of you and remembered who bought him food and toys.

Kazutora’s hearty laugh filled your ears pulling your mouth from the pout into a smile.

“Leo knows who’s the cool one” he winked your way. “I’m kidding, he likes you more” he looked down at said cat “right pal? Isn’t your mom the absolute best?”

“Oh, shut up, flattery won’t take you anywhere” You felt blood rushing to your face so you stood up hiding your reddening face into Blue’s fur.

You hurried to the kitchen and then, out of his sight was when you put Blue down and started to boil some water, hearing over it as the door closed and seconds later Kazutora appeared with the other two trailing behind.

You ended up splayed on the bigger couch in your living room, your back leaning against his side while Jin laid on top of your legs while in Kazutora’s rested the other two cats. At that moment you were with your eyes closed, mindlessly caressing Jin while you listened to Kazutora talk to your cats in a baby voice that you wouldn’t have expected from him the first time you met.

For him it wasn’t easy to keep his cool, he had to school his face even if you weren’t looking at him and oh, his heart was so loud it was about to jump out of his chest and he wouldn’t mind but he didn’t want you to listen.

I’m sorry Baji.

A  meow of protest fell on deaf ears since he had stopped caressing Leo and Blue, instead turning his full attention towards you.

You turned your head and suddenly you found yourself way too close to his face; so much you could’ve counted every single of his lashes; staring up at a pair of golden eyes that were looking at you and only you as if you had been the one to hang up the stars in the sky.

His features were delicate, so beautiful it was heartstopping, he looked almost otherworldly; and not only because the ghost of Baji’s face lingered in his in a particular way; but there was a certain glimmer in his eyes that you had been noticing from a few days leading to that one, only that then it shined brighter than ever.

Unbeknownst to you, your eyes were reflecting Kazutora’s shine and your heart was beating to the same tempo as his starting up a melody of their own with your breathing getting caught up in your lungs making up the rhythm accompanying your song.

You were being drawn into each other like opposite poles of a magnet, barely any resistance was there and soon enough you met in the middle. At first it was the softest brush; like when you first dip your toe before jumping into the water; but it started a whole revolution inside both.

The brush became a second and then your lips were pressing against each other, basking in the warmth that radiated off that single contact that sparked a bunch of reactions at the same time. Your heart went off, your lungs closed; forgetting for that moment that they needed air and not that man to keep kissing you; and for the briefest moment your mind stopped thinking about Baji.

Kazutora was ready to die, if he was sent to hell at that very moment he’d be glad because at least he got a taste of heaven and it was more than enough. He decided then and there that he was bound to be cursed because how did a monster like him manage to get a kiss from an angel such as yourself? It must have been a sin for something so tainted to even look your way.

He didn’t know when your hand placed itself on the side of his neck but he knew that he was yours, if there was any doubt of that up until that point, it vanished with the way you were gently caressing his tattoo as if you were tracing it by memory, as if you had paid close attention to him, as if he mattered, as if he was something more than a broken thing.

Something inside you moved when a whimper escaped his lips the first time you pulled away for a mere second in order to get air before going in once more, this time ready to open your mouth and let him take while you explored. It felt nice, new; which was to be expected since the last time you had kissed someone this way had been with Baji.

Keisuke.

You opened your eyes and suddenly pulled away, almost as if his touch burned you; and in a way it could be said to be true; and your violent movement startled the three cats that you had ignored moments before, making them leave for your room.

The image of your beloved; death; boyfriend took Kazutora’s place, brown replaced gold and the beauty mark vanished, the yellow strands that framed his face turned jet black and the smile you’d been missing like crazy; that particularly his that showed his teeth was there.

You blinked a few times and his image left, allowing you to see Kazutora for who he was and not the ghost of him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came to me” he looked at you with tears gathering in his eyes almost pleading and you realized how it must have looked to him.

“No, Tora, I-”

I’m an idiot, I blew this up. Again I’ve just gone and ruined what good I had.

“I’m going now” he stood up and left for the door, leaving you alone and cold on the couch.

I’m sorry Keisuke.

You stood up and went after, finding him in the doorway hastily putting on his shoes but you grasped his arm to stop him.

“I will leave right now, it’ll be like nothing happened” you caught a glimpse of a tear trailing down his cheek and that sight prompted you to speak.

“No” your other hand reached for the fabric of his shirt, securing him.

“Y/N”

“I don’t want you to leave, I-” the words choked you, there was too much you had to say and your mouth wasn’t responding as fast as you would’ve liked.

“Don’t ask me to stay because if you do it’ll only hurt more when you tell me it was a mistake”

“But it wasn’t a mistake, I want you, okay? Kazutora, I like you” you at least managed to say the one thing that was clear in your mind, that had been clear for a long time but only got accepted after that one conversation with Chifuyu.

That certainly stopped him, for he turned around to fully face you and you saw his eyes filled to the brim in tears that he refused to let run freely.

You reached for his face as slowly as the first time you two met, giving him enough space to retreat, but how could he when the thing he wanted most was to be with you and bask in the calm that your presence brought into his messy life? When he didn’t give any signs of pulling away you smiled and cupped his cheeks as if you were holding a piece of glass; and in a way Kazutora was just as fragile as that material when it came to you.

He leaned into your touch, and you were bold enough to pull him in and rest your foreheads together, looking with all seriousness into his eyes, having deja vu of the first day.

“Why? Why? I- what I did to Baji, you know what I’ve done, I don’t”

“I really can’t say, I just do, it’s, it’s hard, okay?” you closed your eyes for a brief second before continuing.

“I swore that there wouldn’t be anyone else and now, now you are here and I like being with you but I know that is way different from how it is with anyone else, it’s something more, something I never thought I’d be able to feel again”

He smiled through his tears because after all he’s done, every mistake in his life said that he didn’t deserve you and yet there you were.

“But I also have to be honest with you” he braced himself for what would be your next words.

“I still love Keisuke, I will probably still be loving him even fifty years from now and that is something that will never change, he was my first friend, first time holding hands, my first love, first kiss, many firsts, he took most of them” you gave out a wobbly smile.

“He’s forever imprinted in my skin and I’ll always be his” he lowered his gaze at that. “But if you can accept that I’m willing to try this, I never dated; not really, not an actual relationship; after him but I wouldn’t mind it being you, I think we deserve a chance”.

His heart was thumping inside his chest making it harder to process everything so you waited while his mind raced. Kazutora looked into your eyes and knew he had to take the chance because you were what he needed and even if he was undeserving you thought him worthy.

A selfish part of him, the bad side said that he should be glad because if Baji was there he knew you would have chosen him, a thousand times you’d have chosen Baji over Kazutora and that pained him but what pained him the most was the fact that a tiny part of him was happy because now he had the chance to be with you.

He was taking the life Baji should’ve had, but he’d take good care of you.

He could live being second best if that meant he got to have you.

[eleteo125]

Even More Model Baji

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Some manga spoilers here

I'm imagining a scenario where a Baji fan came to the pet store trying their luck that maybe he's working on the front that specific day. Then they caught sight of the long hair and they get so excited and started to ramble how much they love Baji and the guy turns around and it's Kazutora 😂😂😂

Chifuyu and Baji definitely had a good laugh at that. Of course being the good best friends they are they told the story to the others and it's become a running joke.

Baji even invites Kazutora to model with him jokingly nah he kinda serious he wants him and Chifuyu be models with him even just for pet related stuff hehe

Every single one of his friends, yes every member in toman will have healthy hair. Doesn't matter if they got a head full of hair or a buzz cut they will have healthy hair.

And the reason for that is because he models for a bunch of hair products that he gets a lot of free stuff from them. He appreciates it but yea it can get too much so he gives the extra ones to his squad.

Hecc they don't even worry about hair care products they know Baji's got their back hahaha. In fact it's gotten to the point where they'd rely on him for hair care products 😂

You know how Mikey always wants his hair different? He always consults Baji for it hahaha. Baji makes sure that Mikey doesn't end up with crusty dead hair cause he changes it so much.

From wanting it long like Baji's, to cutting it short like Shinichiro to wanting it to looks like Izana and many more.

Izana almost wanted to beat Baji for encouraging his brother 😂😂😂

Sometimes Baji gets tired of Mikey and just sends him to his trusted hair dresser...WHICH IS AKKUN LET'S GOOOO!!!!

I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT AKKUN AND BAJI WILL GET ALONG JUST BECAUSE OF THIS COMMON INTEREST.

Takemichi might be Akkun's first client, but Baji is definitely his most frequent client. Takemichi probably used this fact back when they were in toman to convince Baji to let them in the gang.

Akkun wants to start a hair care brand and you know Baji will model for it free of charge.

OMG now I'm just thinking how Baji and Akkun's friendship will be like hahaha.

I feel like whenever they have a get together they would have a little roast session with their bad bleached and dyed hair. Takemichi might be the butt of the joke most of the time.

Ok we know Baji has made a name for himself as a model so fans are definitely a thing. So bodyguards must be a thing too for him. Except most of the time unless it's a public or formal event, his bodyguards are his friends haha. Like they know he can handle himself (I mean come on 1 vs 50 that's insane haha) but these are fans and not rough delinquents out for blood.

So we know Baji and Emma are childhood friends right. Watch her be the most efficient bodyguard of his😂. She knows what these fans want and knows exactly how to shut them down. And also she would be low-key judging their taste because in her mind it'll be like 'Baji, really???😒' in the most loving way hahaha. They behave like siblings you cannot change my mind.

Watch Emma's face contort in disgust when rumors about her and Baji start spreading haha. She would use Yuzuha's help to track down the person who wrote that article and gave them a lesson.

A public picture of her and Draken kissing? Hell yeah. And Baji will be promoting Draken's bike shop😂

So you know how Hakkai used to have long hair in high school? Yea he's also the reason Baji has modelling as a side gig. The company said they needed another model and the first person to come to mind was Baji.

They were about to meet up and talk about it but coincidentally said company scouted him the same day hahaha. Can't resist that long flowy luscious dark locks of his haha.

I like to think that Baji learned to care for his hair because of his mom so he definitely spoils her. Not just in hair products but in everything. Being a model gives you extra spending money and why not spend it to your loved ones. Also in his mind it's his way of saying thanks you for caring for him and as an apology for always making her worry.

Once again Model Baji won't leave my mind. My brain can't stop. I'm not really complaining I love all this fluff haha.

✨Model Baji Brainrot✨

I think the reason why I can't stop thinking of stuff like this is because the last few episodes this season is gonna be...y'know haha

Pssst @manilaruins even more Baji model here haha

[braindeadbaddie]

The Ghosts That Haunt Us

I know you hear me when I cry

I try to hold it in at night

When you’re sleeping next to me 

But it’s your arms that I need this time

Chifuyu bites his lip, trying to swallow down the sobs that threaten to climb out of his throat. He grabs a pillow, stuffing his face into it and biting to muffle all the sounds that threaten to leak from his overflowing heart. 

The pillow is stained with his tears, his body shaking in silent sobs, and from the ghost of a cold cold body that he once held in his arms years ago.

Besides him, he can feel Takemichi twitch awake, shifting to wrap an arm around him. He feels him hesitate before settling his arm across his waist, pulling him into the warmth of his embrace.

God, what a terrible boyfriend he is. 

Up late, picturing a black sea and a grey sky, when he has the warmth of the sun and a bright blue sky right besides him. 

But he can’t help it. 

Tonight, he misses Baji.

Tonight, he needs him.

Look at the cards that we’ve dealt 

If you were anybody else

Probably wouldn’t last a day 

Every tear’s a rain parade from hell 

He loves Takemichi.

Their relationship isn’t laced in beauty or innocence. It was originally a partnership bred from the need to save the future. But he’s understanding, and kind, and always there to help. He’s sweet and dedicated, fiercely loyal, and so so loving. 

They sought comfort in each other because they understood each other. Better than anyone else. 

He knows Takemichi doesn’t blame him for the days that he can’t reciprocate his love, because his heart is somewhere else. He knows Takemichi understands more than anyone why he can’t share his food sometimes. He knows that Takemichi understands, better than anyone. 

Mistakes were made and there were casualties of Takemichi’s battle against time, and even though they managed to find a future where everyone could be together, the ghosts of the past still haunt them both. 

But sometimes, he wonders if their love is born out of necessity rather than true love.

Baby you do it so well

You’ve been so understanding, you’ve been so good

And I’m putting you through more than one ever should

And I’m hating myself cause you don’t want to

Admit that it hurts you

Chifuyu knows it’s hard. He cries over Baji often. 

The night of his birthday and the day of. The week of Halloween, the days before when he didn’t have his friend. Sometimes, he cries when he sees a black cat or a stray. He cries on dates they had made special memories of.

Some days are a light rain, other are storms that flood.

Chiufyu thinks that he must only exists in tears and in numbness. There are days he can feel, so all he feels is pain, and days where he can’t, so he feels nothing. 

Takemichi seems to be able to handle it so well. But Chifuyu knows. He knows this is too much for him to bear. 

Takemichi already saved the future, so he should be able reap the fruits of his labor. 

And yet here he is, fighting a losing battle to save Chiufyu. 

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again

Over him

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again

‘stead of ghostin’ him

Takemichi, more than anyone, hurts seeing Chifuyu cry. And yet, he has to deal with it the most. 

He feels the most guilty, the most responsible. Because he knew and he still couldn’t do anything about it. 

Chifuyu sees it in Takemichi’s eyes when he wakes up with a start after dreaming of black and grey, and red. So much red. The look in Takemichi’s eyes, screaming that he shoudn’t be here. That there should be someone else. 

Someone to go to the pet store with him every morning. Someone who helps him fight his battles. Someone who will split his yakisoba with him. Someone named Keisuke Baji. 

And Chifuyu wants to comfort him and tell he loves him and loves having him around.

But it feels pointless when his tears later that night wash away all his words. 

We’ll get through this, we’ll get past this

I’m a girl with...a whole lotta baggage 

But I love you, we’ll get past this

I’m a girl with...a whole lotta baggage

On good nights, Chifuyu will lay his head in Takemichi’s chest, curled into his side, letting him run mindless patterns into his back.

Takemichi tucks his head under his chin and whispers sweet nothings to him.

On those night, they feel like a normal couple, instead of a pair cursed by time.

Though I wish he were here instead

Don’t want that living in your head

He just comes to visit me 

When I’m dreaming, every now and then

Its hard to count the amount of times Chifuyu has woken up screaming another man’s name.

But the nightmares are so frequent, it’d probably be easier to count the times he didn’t.

In his dreams, he’s always a first-year in middle school, walking through the hallways to find a nerd who can’t spell or write properly. So he helps the poindexter write a letter and in return, he gives him a friendship with so much love that it’s enough to last his whole life.

And in the dream, he spends so many days on the floor of his or the other boy’s bedroom tutoring him and teaching him all sorts of things. And they play with stray cats that come through the boy’s windows. And there’s so much peyoung yakisoba. And at the end of his dream, he’ll get to hold him at night, and he feels warm…

…until the warmth starts to feel wet too.

And suddenly he’s back in a junkyard, holding the boy he loves as he bleeds out.

Helpless and useless.

So he screams.

And after all that we’ve been through

There’s so much to look forward to

What was done and what said

Leave it all here in this bed with you

“Thank you,” Chifuyu whispers into the dark bedroom.

Takemichi gives him a confused look. “What for?”

Chifuyu draws patterns into Takemichi’s chest. Tonight is a good night.

“For saving me. I can’t even imagine what I was like in that first future. I probably didn’t have anyone to rely on, y’know. In Toman, I’ve only really been close to you…and well…y’know.” He doesn’t want to say it, lest he break the peaceful spell his mind has cast on him today.

Takemichi tightens his arm around Chifuyu. “Ah, well. You don’t have to thank me. I just did it to get out of my apartment. I’ve been stuck there like every future.”

Chifuyu chuckles, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s torso, and rests his head on his chest. He breathes in Takemichi’s body wash and the scent of lavender from their detergent, counting his heart beats.

He’s still here. He’s still alive.

Cherish him.

“Thank you for saving me, for saving all of us,” he whispers as he turns to look up in his beautiful blue eyes.

There’s a flash of sadness in Takemichi’s eyes, before it’s replaced quickly. He smiles softly, though it seems a bit forced around the edges.

“It’s the best damn thing I’ve ever done,” he whispers before planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

Baby you do it so well

You’ve been so understanding, you’ve been so good

And I’m putting you through more than one ever should

And I’m hating myself cause you don’t want to 

Admit that it hurts you

On the days after bad nights, Takemichi makes breakfast. He developed cooking skills at some point in this future, he tells Chifuyu.

But on those mornings, he can badly stomach anything so Takemichi will make him a smoothie and pack a light bento. He makes him fresh green tea that warms him up, and turns on the diffuser mixing eucalyptus and peppermint.

He kisses Chifuyu on the head, never on the lips. He gives him a tight hug and whispers “have a good day”, never I love you. He tries so hard to be a friend, like he knows he isn’t the one Chifuyu loves on those days.

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again

Over him

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again

‘stead of ghostin’ him

They both have ghosts that haunt them.

Takemichi’s exists on high rise buildings, in truck crashes, and a building in another country with no ceilings.

There are nights that Takemichi wakes up screaming Hina’s name or Mikey’s name or Akkun’s name. There are even days where he screams Chifuyu’s. There are days where the pots will bang together and Takemichi will collapse in fear. Takemichi avoids fires, loud noises, and lives his life as if he’s apologizing for living.

On the rare occasions he’s opened up to Chifuyu about those other futures, they’re usually about the first one, the one before he ever time-leaped. He opens up about how pathetic he was and how he was always apologizing.

And even though he’s a lot more sure than the man-boy in his stories, Chifuyu can’t help but think that old habits die hard.

We’ll get through this, we’ll get past this

I’m a girl with...a whole lotta baggage

But I love you, we’ll get past this

I’m a girl with...a whole lotta baggage

Takemichi takes care of Chifuyu so well, it almost seems like he’s apologizing.

For Baji, for not being Baji, for not being able to time-leap again to save him.

For being here when he feels he shouldn’t be.

He doesn’t ask, but he can suspect that there was a future where things went really bad for him and Takemichi feels responsible.

He doesn’t ask, because Takemichi won’t tell him the truth.

That this relationship is all just one big apology. That Takemichi’s love for him is just one big savior complex. That all of this is out of a sense of responsibility.

[spicysoftsweet]

Chapter 11

Masterlist

The days following the funeral had been extremely lonely for Kaksi. While she knew she wasn’t the only one who was suffering from losing Baji, she felt like she shouldn’t bother anyone, attempting to overcome her own grief by herself. Eventually, she decided to pay a visit to her best friend despite the fact that she hadn’t called or texted ever since the ceremony.

But that had only worsened things, adding to the loneliness and sadness as she returned to her place after learning that Kumi had left Tokyo just a few days prior. Part of Kaksi was hurt that she hadn’t given her any notice, not even bothering to say goodbye, but another part of her knew that it was for the best and could only wish her a good recovery.

She felt useless being unable to help her but she figured that if she couldn’t be there for Kumi she would be there for anyone else that needed her. One of those people happened to be Chifuyu - while none of them wanted to address their feelings outright, they found each other’s company comforting. Kaksi could never replace Baji, the Toman member remembered painfully when he was with her, but they would still share a laugh together from time to time.

It had always been evident to Kaksi that Chifuyu’s feelings for Baji went beyond friendship and she wondered if the first division captain had been aware. She hoped he did not, keeping Chifuyu so close yet so far seemed cruel to her, especially when Kumi had entered the picture. But that was none of her business and she didn’t exactly want to broach the subject of romance with her friend even if he did seem to want to be involved with that side of her life.

“Are you going to see Kazutora soon?”

Kaksi let out a sigh, knowing she would regret it if she didn’t.

“I guess so.”

“He’d be happy to see you,” Chifuyu reassured with a little smile. “Heard Takemichi and Draken are going to see him soon too.”

Takemichi.

Kaksi couldn’t figure why but it still bothered her that he was always so involved in everything that was related to the gang. While she had nothing personal against him (at least she thought so), she couldn’t help feeling strange about his role in all of this.

“Why is he everywhere?”

“Who?” Chifuyu asked, confused. “Takemichi?”

Kaksi nodded.

“He says he wants to be Toman’s leader,” he explained.

“What the fuck?”

Chifuyu laughed at Kaksi’s evident confusion.

“I know. He’s insane.”

“Why does he want to become Toman’s leader?” she asked. “He was a nobody months ago.”

“I don’t know,” Chifuyu admitted. “But he’s pretty damn determined to achieve his goal. Besides, Baji trusts him.”

Kaksi smiled at his last words but that wouldn’t be enough to convince her that Takemichi’s motivations and behaviour were normal.

“So you trust him?”

Chifuyu nodded.

“He’s weird,” Kaksi pointed out. “Don’t know if I do.”

Kaksi had good intuitions and she had learned in the past to always trust them. She needed to talk to Takemichi, there was clearly something she was missing in all this chaos. If someone was to be Toman’s leader after Mikey it certainly would not be Takemichi, she was convinced and even if it was, why would he want that?

As Kaksi wondered about that she was reminded of her previous conversation with him. Something didn’t add up once again - why would Baji trust Takemichi? They barely knew each other. While she knew Baji was as, if not more, intuitive and perceptive than her, there must have been more than linked them. Maybe there was something Chifuyu was unaware of? No, that didn’t make sense; she remembered Takemichi coming to Kumi and her looking for intel about Kazutora and Baji, as the Valhalla conflict had been brewing.

Takemichi really was a nobody and despite suddenly appearing in their lives, he somehow played a key role in the gang. Kaksi didn’t know why she felt the need to investigate him and thinking about it now, she realised that all the people she held dear were related to him. Perhaps it was out of desperation for something to distract her, but for her peace of mind, she needed to know more about him.  

---

Takemichi had been surprised to see Kaksi, still in her school uniform, standing by his school’s entrance. His blue eyes widened as he caught her brown ones. Her face wore a neutral expression as usual and he couldn’t help feeling intimidated as she walked over to him. She didn’t smile or wave at him but she greeted him and quickly asked if she could have a few words with him.

Takemichi agreed and awkwardly, he and the taller girl walked together for a little while. They didn’t have a specific destination in mind but he figured they could just sit at the playground right around the corner and talk. He hadn’t seen her since Baji’s funeral and he couldn’t tell how she felt, finding Kaksi rather unreadable. He did however note that she looked more tired than he had usually seen her.

“What exactly are your motivations, Takemichi?” she asked suddenly, catching him off-guard.

He stayed silent for a moment, wondering what a good answer would be to that question.

“What do you mean?”

“A few months ago I had no idea who you were,” she explained. “Then suddenly you became the most talked-about person among my friends for some reason.”

It was true that Takemichi’s involvement with Toman had evolved very quickly and he felt himself sink deeper into its core every day. So Kaksi’s confusion was founded as someone who had watched most things unfold on the sidelines.

“And now I’m told you want to become Toman’s number one?” she continued, a frown on her face. “What is it that you know that you are not telling us?”

Kaksi’s voice wasn’t threatening in the slightest, but Takemichi couldn’t help getting nervous. There were so many things that he knew that he wasn’t telling anyone and the burden of his secret was getting harder to carry every day. Part of Takemichi carried the guilt of Baji’s death and while he had prevented Mikey from killing Kazutora, he had still failed his original mission.

It didn’t matter that Baji technically killed himself, Kazutora had inflicted to him fatal injuries that Takemichi failed to anticipate despite knowing more about the events that were meant to unfold than anyone else. He stayed silent. What would Kaksi think if she knew the truth? Would she hate him for failing to save Baji?

“What do you want, Takemichi?” she asked, filling the silence once again as Takemichi found himself unable to answer.

“I just want to save everyone.”

It felt good to say it but seeing the look on Kaksi’s face he realised that he had only confused her more.

“How?”

Takemichi didn’t know. He wasn’t smart, he wasn’t strong, and he was breaking too. Tears filled his eyes and he realized that the pressure was unbearable under Kaksi’s gaze.

“I don’t know, Kaksi,” he replied, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I have no idea.”

The girl could feel her vision blur as Takemichi started to sob.

“I wish I could save everyone too.”

Her voice cracked and she was happy no one was there to witness them.

“I wish I could have done something,” she continued, frustrated and tears falling uncontrollably. “I knew Kazutora was unstable but I didn’t know what to do. I should have insisted and talked to him the moment I knew what he was preparing. Baji…”

Kaksi, finding it hard to speak, paused for a moment. It was sickening to watch her like this, Takemichi thought, the guilt he felt amplified.

“Fuck I didn’t even talk to Baji. I just let him push me away like everyone else.”

“Please don’t blame yourself,” Takemichi begged her. “I’m the one who failed to protect Baji.”

Kaksi shook her head. Takemichi couldn’t have known how far Kazutora could go. But Kaksi did, as much as she loved him, she knew that Kazutora was never only the boy who gently kissed her knuckles. No, she knew there was a much more violent and aggressive side to her love. She had believed that it was under control, that she could keep him under control but she had failed.

“You didn’t know.”

Takemichi cried louder at those words. He wanted to scream and he did, unable to contain his feelings.

“I did,” he admitted, the words barely making it out. “I knew Kazutora would stab Baji and I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t save Baji.”

He slammed his fist on the table they were sitting on and kept weeping. Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly, surprised by the sudden movement but more importantly by what he said.

“What do you mean you knew Kazutora would stab Baji?” she asked in horror and confusion.

“Forgive me, Kaksi.”

That was all Takemichi said for a moment along with repeated apologies. Kaksi asked him again, feeling her heartbeat increase. What did he mean?

“I knew Baji was going to die,” he started confessing.

But all Kaksi could do was cry harder as she listened to Takemichi’s secrets. He did not think anymore, telling her everything from the day he was meant to die, to Naoto, to Hina, to all the events he was able to change, to the guilt that crushed him and to his helplessness regarding Baji’s death.

By the end of his explanation, both of them sat quietly. Takemichi felt good for having gotten this all out of his chest but now he had to deal with how this could possibly affect Kaksi. Despite her initial shock, Kaksi figured this was way too serious for Takemichi to lie and it did explain how he had climbed Toman’s ranks so quickly and why he was so persistent. She felt a little guilty for thinking that his intentions could have been bad before they had talked.

So she apologised to him and reassured him that Baji’s death was in no way his fault and acknowledged that the weight of the responsibility he held was crushing.

“What are you going to do now?” Kaksi asked, having dried her tears.

“I’m going to go back to twelve years in the future.”

“Do you think the future will be fixed this time?”

“I hope so,” he said with a little smile.

Kaksi stayed silent for a moment.

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to him anymore,” she said, eyes filling with tears again. “I’ll help you protect Mikey.”

Mikey who she hadn’t talked to in weeks. How terrible she felt, the memory of their fight still fresh in her mind. Takemichi smiled at her, the love Kaksi held for Mikey was always so evident to him but was it as evident to her and Mikey? He couldn’t tell but he hoped he could offer them the happiness they deserved.

Takemichi kept the girl company for a while longer and she promised his secret was safe with her before bidding him goodbye. They weren’t sure they would see each other again before Takemichi next time leapt, so she told him she would be meeting Kazutora and watch out for Mikey as much as she could.

This definitely wasn’t the motivation she had expected Takemichi to have but maybe she had been wrong about him. Takemichi was strong in his own way and a lot of people counted on him. She hoped he would be fine.

---

As days passed, Mikey remained on Kaksi’s mind, but he was usually quickly joined by Kazutora. What was even meant to happen to him? As much as Kaksi wanted to be angry with him, she couldn’t. She missed him already and she knew this was only the start of their troubles but what even was left of their relationship? She was unsure.

Chifuyu said he would be happy to see her and he had also told her about the rage and renewed energy that had taken over Kazutora when Mikey had hit her. She knew he still cared and she did too, so very much. Kaksi’s feelings for Kazutora never faded but she worried if he would ever believe that. All he seemed to think about was Mikey.

Kaksi didn’t know what to expect, making her way to the detention centre. She could feel tears blurring her vision at the thought of Kazutora and her being separated again as well as the reason why. He carried so much guilt that she was worried about how this would affect his fragile mental health more than anything.

She followed the police officers leading her to face her ex-boyfriend nervously. As soon as she saw him behind glass windows she couldn’t prevent her tears from falling. Kazutora watched her quietly, his own eyes filling with tears at the sight of her pain. They didn’t have that unfamiliar glimmer she was scared of and they displayed sadness more than anything else.

What could he ever say to make all this better? He didn’t think there was anything that would.

All Kazutora felt was guilt and regret. He had killed one of the most precious people to him and hurt the dearest to his heart. Kaksi was too kind to visit him especially after what he had done and accused her of. He hadn’t expected her to visit him, he hadn’t expected anyone. He had already felt like he had used all his luck when Draken had delivered Mikey’s message to him, therefore seeing the face of the girl he loved truly felt like one last blessing before his punishment started.

“Kaksi,” he started. “I’m so sorry.”

She didn’t say anything, drying her tears instead as Kazutora’s fell down his cheeks.

“I won’t ask for your forgiveness. You have every right to hate me.”

“You know I could never hate you, Kazutora,” she said with a sad smile.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, then murmured, “You should.”

At that moment Kazutora wished that Kaksi had moved on with Mikey. He didn’t want to be a burden to her anymore, she didn’t deserve any of that.

“How long are they expecting your sentence to be?” she asked, nervously.

“Ten years.”

Kaksi clenched her teeth at the thought, the words repeating in her head. She wanted to scream in frustration but this was probably the best outcome, she was aware. So she decided to hide her distress, not wanting to worry Kazutora.

“It will be lonely without you,” she said. “But I’ll wait.”

Kazutora’s eyes widened in shock.

“What?”

It was as crazy as it sounded. Kaksi would wait for him again.

“I’ll wait for you,” she repeated. “I can do it.”

Kazutora wondered if those words were meant to convince him or herself.

“Kaksi,” he begged. “Don’t do this. I don’t want you to wait for me.”

Those words hurt her.

“What am I supposed to do then?” she asked, voice breaking and tears blurring her vision again.

Kaksi was tired of everything she had ever known falling apart. Baji was dead, Kumi was gone and despite her promise to Takemichi, she didn’t even know if she could fix things with Mikey. She didn’t think she could handle Kazutora leaving her too. Ten years would be torture without him but the idea of one day reuniting with her boyfriend was enough right now to comfort her.

He didn’t know what to tell her. Kazutora had already harmed her so much he wondered if having a proper breakup now wouldn’t be best for her. But seeing her cry despite trying to stay strong he couldn’t afford to break her heart a second time.

“Kaksi, I don’t want you to waste any more time for me,” he explained. “Ten years is a long time. You can’t wait that long, especially not for me.”

The girl took a moment before answering.

“I’m not giving up on you, Kazutora,” she said, a new wave of determination overtaking her. “You said you wouldn’t ask me to forgive you but why? Because you don’t think you deserve my forgiveness or because you don’t want to earn it?”

Kazutora’s sandy eyes widened. Of course he wanted to earn Kaksi’s forgiveness. He would do anything for her.

“Because I don’t think I deserve it.”

“Well that’s up to me to decide, Kazutora,” she replied, her voice colder.

Despite wanting to argue, Kazutora stayed silent.

“If you feel guilty, then fix your mistakes,” she told him. “Get proper rehabilitation and let me help you once you’re out.”

Kazutora gave her a sad smile.

“I will.”

It was a promise that he couldn’t break, he thought. Kazutora hoped that despite her words, Kaksi would move on. He hoped she stayed away from Toman, made new friends, fell in love and pursued the career she wanted to. Whether she was there to welcome him or not when he would come out didn’t matter. Her feelings would fade; they had to. The idea of her moving on with Mikey felt like knives in his stomach but he would not blame her for any decisions she would make without him this time.

“Promise you’ll be happy for the next ten years,” Kazutora demanded.

Kaksi couldn’t guarantee that.

“I’ll try my best, Kazutora,” she said with a little smile.

He smiled back at her before leaving, their meeting ending.  

---

Kaksi couldn’t tell if she was satisfied with their conversation or not but she would be welcoming Kazutora back into her life in ten years, that was a promise to herself. She wondered what other promises she was going to have to make and if she would be able to keep all of them.

The most urgent one was probably watching out for Mikey but in order to do that she needed to mend their relationship. Having been kept busy with school, she was struggling to find the right moment to talk to Mikey and the fact he wouldn’t answer her texts only made her more anxious. What if it was too late? What if he just didn’t want to see her again?

This would not be surprising after their last interaction. She hated that she would rather run away from her problems than confront them head-on. Still, she found some free time on a Saturday afternoon to pay a visit to Mikey.

He beat her to it, however, and it was with confusion that she had found him on his CB250T waiting for her not too far from her apartment block, a Thursday afternoon as Kaksi came back from school alone. She made her way over to him, rather nervously despite it not being visible on her features. Mikey’s deep black eyes didn’t leave her and while he realized he had missed her terribly, this was not what he came to tell her.

They greeted each other more awkwardly than two friends should, but a lot of things had changed since their last interaction.

“I wanted to apologize for what happened at the junkyard,” Mikey said, bowing in front of Kaksi. “I’m sorry I hurt you while you tried to protect Kazutora.”

Kaksi’s brown eyes widened.

“I know you didn’t mean it,” she reassured him. “It was an accident.”

“It doesn’t matter. I hit you.”

She watched as Mikey remained in the same position.

“I forgive you, Mikey,” she told him, not wanting him to feel guilty about it anymore.

He stood straight again, his face expressionless before walking back to his bike. Despite sincerely feeling awful for what he had done to Kaksi he couldn’t help remaining angry. The day Baji died, Mikey would have had to kill Kaksi if he had wanted to kill Kazutora - this was how much she loved Kazutora and not him. This was a selfish thought considering everything that had happened but that realisation hurt Mikey.

Kaksi watched him, even more, confused by his behaviour than when he had first appeared.

“Mikey, wait!” she exclaimed as he started his engine.

She quickly walked over to him, not wanting the conversation to end here.

“I’m sorry for what I said the last time we had lunch together,” she told him. “I di-”

“There’s no need for you to apologise,” he cut her off, coldly. “I know you only care about Kazutora.”

Kaksi looked at him in shock. This was far from true and it angered her to think Mikey believed that.

“This is false,” she protested. “How could you say this?”

Mikey took a moment before answering. He didn’t want to argue with her but this was probably the best way to make sure she would never talk to him again. While it was true that Mikey’s feelings had been hurt, this wasn’t the only thing that drove him to cut Kaksi out of his life so abruptly. Things were getting far too dangerous these days and even he was unsure about Toman’s future. For her safety, he needed to push her away even if it hurt both of them.

“What am I to you, Kaksi?” Mikey asked.

What was she supposed to answer? She didn’t have a clear answer other than her friend but before she could say anything, Mikey spoke again.

“I don’t want to be Kazutora’s placeholder.”

“This is not what you are, Mikey!” she replied, growing frustrated. “You were never Kazutora’s placeholder! You are my friend.”

“Then I don’t think I want to be friends anymore,” he said, the pain he felt was imperceptible at surface level but palpable at his very core.

Kaksi stood in silence and Mikey decided he didn’t have anything else to tell her. So he left, the noise from his engine filling the girl’s ears as he drove away, accelerating as if that would make it all go away. Maybe Kaksi loved him as he loved her, maybe she didn’t. No matter the answer though, Mikey knew he had to keep her safe and that could only be possible by exiting her life, as heartbreaking as it was.

Mikey didn’t drive back home, instead, he kept wandering the streets with his older brother and his childhood friend in his thoughts. What would they think of this?

There wasn’t any other solution, was there?  

---

Heartbroken over Mikey, Kaksi realised that it was one by one that she was losing her friends. The wound Baji had left her was still too fresh and she wondered if loneliness wouldn’t be better, after all. She had spent the following days visiting Kazutora while she still could but his trial had ended quickly and his sentence had already started now.

After that, it felt like everything had started to slow down. Despite spending most of her time studying, Kaksi’s days seemed endless. She didn’t talk to any remaining Toman members except for Chifuyu but she had the feeling that eventually, they would be parting ways too very soon. She assumed Takemichi had time leapt since the last time she had seen him he hadn’t even returned her smile.

She also noticed Chifuyu avoided mentioning the gang at all around her and it became obvious that something was wrong. Kaksi wondered for some time, maybe too long, if she should investigate by herself or not. Eventually, she had decided to talk to Mitsuya, one of the most reasonable people she knew and although he welcomed her warmly and didn’t hold it against her that she hadn’t talked to him in a long time, he only gave her a warning.

Like Chifuyu he looked too exhausted for a middle schooler and it appeared to her that he had matured even faster if it was even possible for someone in his predicament. All he was able to tell her was that Toman was changing and he was confused as to where all of this was heading. She tried to get some answers to her question but Mitsuya told her frankly that she would be better off without knowing.

So it was Yamagishi that she had recognised on her way to cram school that had given her more details about what she wanted to know. As expected the few rumours she had heard were true. Toman had gotten bigger and that involved more trouble, Kisaki was now one of the most influential members and all that mattered now was blood and money.

Kaksi had tried to know what all of this meant exactly but Yamagishi told her that his position didn’t allow him to disclose more information. He had given her a warning too but with new irritation, she had cut him off and left. She didn’t know what to do. Was there anything she could do? In a few months what used to be a kid's playground had turned into one of the most dangerous and feared gangs of Tokyo.

As much as Kaksi still cared for some of its members, she knew when to give up on a pointless battle but before doing that she had to try one last time to spare those she loved.

“Chifuyu, you should leave Toman.”

The boy stayed silent for a moment.

“It’s not that easy,” he told her.

“But it will be harder if you wait.”

“Don’t worry about me, Kaksi,” Chifuyu reassured.

He should know that was impossible.

“Well, I can’t do that. I know you won’t talk about it but Toman changed,” she replied, voice louder as her frustration built up. “These are not people you want to be involved with.”

“I’m aware but I know what I’m doing.”

Chifuyu remained calm but this wasn’t how he felt. He appreciated that Kaksi looked out for him but he could never leave Toman. This was Baji’s legacy and if it wasn’t him, then who would fight for its sake?

Kaksi chuckled, but it was bitterness and pain that had her speaking this time.

“This is what Baji thought too before fucking dying.”

Chifuyu clenched his fists, his patience running thin.

“What do you think you are going to achieve by yourself?” she asked, her words pointed.

Chifuyu’s jaw tensed even further.

“More than you ever will, Kaksi.”

She wasn’t hurt by those words. Chifuyu was right, all Kaksi could do was run away. But some things weren’t worth fighting for.

“I know what all this meant to Baji,” she said with teary eyes. “But he is dead, as painful as it is and you will end up joining him if you’re not careful, Chifuyu.”

This hurt but Chifuyu didn’t expect Kaksi to understand.

“Well then I hope I do,” he replied, coldly. “I’d rather die trying too hard than not trying at all.”

Kaksi chuckled again, a sardonic, almost soulless sound.

“Living then dying for someone that could never return what you gave to them looks painful.”

There was a pause as Chifuyu let those words sink in, and considered exactly how much Baji may have understood his feelings.

“If this is what you think this is then you should leave,” Chifuyu finally answered, angry and hurt.

The girl stayed quiet and decided she had said what she had to. Maybe she had been too harsh, maybe she hadn’t been harsh enough but this was as hard as she would try. She liked to think she was devoted to the ones she loved but she figured she had been wrong. If Chifuyu wanted to live for the ghost of his past then so be it, but this was something Kaksi refused to do.

Still, there was something she was afraid of and that was regrets. Walking away from Chifuyu after warning him was something but giving up without trying was something else which was why abandoning Mikey for good felt different. While he was the one who had ended their relationship, Kaksi thought that maybe she hadn’t been insistent enough. So it wouldn’t be without having him hear her out that she would put Toman behind her for good.

---

Waiting for Mikey to open the door of his home felt like the last goodbye. How stupid Kaksi felt for having told Takemichi that she would help him protect Mikey. Who was she kidding? She was never a hero. Maybe loneliness, grief and sadness killed her empathy or maybe she was just tired, she wasn’t sure.

When Mikey finally opened the door she was afraid he would immediately close it again but he didn’t; his deep black eyes studied her instead. He looked different, to say the least, while his features hadn’t changed, like Kazutora, there was something unfamiliar and slightly frightening about him now. Kaksi had anticipated this, however. She wondered if it was really a stranger she faced now?

“Can we talk, Mikey?” she asked, in a neutral voice, hiding her uneasiness.

“We have nothing to talk about.”

As straightforward as ever, Mikey was ready to close his front door but Kaksi stopped him, blocking the door with her hand and foot, begging him to listen, for once.

“I thought I was clear, last time,” he warned. “Get out of my sight.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Mikey?”

She didn’t expect an answer, she just needed to get her frustration out.

“What are you even doing? Quit pushing me away!” she barked at him. “I just want to help you.”

“I don’t need your help. I don’t need you.”

Mikey’s tone was icy and he remained unimpressed by Kaksi’s outburst. This was so unlike her, he thought still. She was always so calm and composed but he figured that too many things had been testing her patience lately, one of them being him. Her expression remained unchanged at those words and he wondered if it was defeat that he saw in her eyes.

“What a fucking joke Toman is,” she told him, a bitter smile on her lips. “A new age for delinquents? A gang that’s all for one, and one for all? What happened to that? Did it just die with Baji?”

Mikey’s eyes widened slightly but it was almost imperceptible. With one swift movement, he pushed away Kaksi’s arm and had her stumble back.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand,” he snapped at her. “And mind your own fucking business.”

“Fuck you,” Kaksi yelled at Mikey, using all her strength to push him away from her before walking away.

She didn’t want to cry, she was too furious to allow that. Kaksi had so many things to say but she figured it was better to run. Clearly, there was no reasoning with any of her friends.

She did what she could, she would never try again.