#take my hand. it is possible to learn to draw fat people well dont be scared

[gigamuffin]

i get so irrationally frustrated when i see a jack aubrey that doesn't meet my standards of thickness its stupid

[4dtk]

hii <88 ummm this is not from your prompt list but this suddenly come in my mind , can you made one like for chubby reader since i'm a little but chubby , angst and fluff , jaemin or jeno , like they said something mean and suddenly realize likeeeee ykwim rightt ? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

hope this is okay anon! i am not plus-sized and will not even come close to experiencing what you may have gone through, so i apologise if anything in here is inaccurate. please tell me so i can change it asap! thank you

this is a safe space, don't hesitate to speak out if you need to rant or anything. please remember - you're all beautiful inside and out!!!!!!!!!! dont let anyone dull ur shine!!!!!

warnings: jaemin gives a backhanded compliment, insecurity

with the last click of the camera, you're welcoming more of the camera rather than your boyfriend into your hands, excited to see the product of your outfit today. it was a lucky draw, one that you didn't expect to match but did on a random scour through your wardrobe.

getting ready for the small photoshoot was fun as well, the boys helping you to set up the living room where they cheered you on. your boyfriend was the one to take the photos, skilled at the camera more than anyone in the team.

"just like that, (y/n)!"

"you look good!"

compliments were easily dropped as they all struggled to view the small screen of the camera, where jaemin worked his magic.

"they look great, jaem, thank you! now all we gotta do is... export them..." your smile was still plastered on your face as you remove the SD card, laptop at the ready beside you. by now, the others have scattered off to do their own thing after a high five or a pat to your head, but you don't exactly mind when this was their off-day.

"that outfit looks really good on you, honey," jaemin speaks from over your shoulder where you sat, looking over how the soft light falls over your skin in the pictures, a perfect visit from the setting sun at the right time.

"you think so?" you laugh, looking down at it, "it was honestly a random fit that i put together. a lucky find, if you will."

"yeah, i think if i wore it, everything would just look weird," jaemin laughs, planting a kiss on your forehead.

your eyebrows furrow at that, having heard it one too many times. your parents have brought it up; your friends, in a joke; even total strangers, who thought it was an actual compliment.

"what do you mean by that?"

"hm? oh no- just- you see how these patterns fill up so nicely on your arm? it would crease all over if i wore it. i'd probably just ruin the outfit." jaemin explains with a laugh, unsure of the strain in your voice. he realises his mistake a little too late a second later.

you're not one to rush uploads, but now you wished the photos would transfer faster so you could leave the room as soon as possible. it wasn't an option, though.

"so... d'ya mean my body's only good for filling in the creases in clothes? does it look worse in outfits that isn't this one?" your questions comes out quiet, not wanting the other members to catch on, but your boyfriend is already fumbling with his words that catches the attention of the others.

"no! no- that's not what i meant, love. i was talking about- just how-"

the crestfallen look you give to jaemin breaks his heart and he regrets everything after his initial compliment, hesitation showing in the way he lets you go to his room quietly. it's affected you that you don't even bother taking the laptop, grabbing only your phone to pass the time on.

hours pass and your outfit sticks to your skin uncomfortably, not even bothering to change out of the one thing you thought you could feel confident in. you're not sure whether you should cry, or scream, or stare aimlessly, having heard backhanded compliments like those all the time.

you're outfit's so cute, i could never wear that!

oh, that black suit looks stunning on you! it's great, since i heard it's a slimming colour.

you're so pretty for a plus sized person.

additions, unnecessary words always had to make their way out of people's mouths. why couldn't they just stop at pretty, stunning, cute? why couldn't they stop at one compliment without compensating for something else?

you learned it the hard way, through media and society that everyone is conditioned to equate fatness to being ugly, and you hate, hate it so much that you're so quick to talk yourself down when you see a cute outfit on a slimmer person.

because you know the tables would be switched once you're the one to wear it.

with a sigh, you peel off the outfit that you admired in the mirror a few hours ago, that you gently pat down next to the locket that jaemin gifted you. it was a nice touch - a heart next to your heart patterned top. it was next to the heart you wore on your sleeve too, not nervous once when you dropped your feelings to jaemin.

and with a tight hug, he returned your feelings too, already smelling like how you knew he'd smell like: coffee and vanilla.

a knock drives you out of the faint memory, door pried open gently by the man who'd captured your heart. he lingers at the doorway, clearly uncomfortable.

"look- i-" he gulps, "it was wrong. of me. to say that. i took it too far, and- and i should've just stopped after my first words. i just went on and on with phrases that were just worded so... badly that-"

"y'know, jaemin, you say 'just' a lot when you're nervous," you chuckle, fingers lingering on the belt of your pants. you remove them with ease with a shake to your legs, chucking them across the room as you navigate his place, picking out the sweater and pants you wore before.

standing there in your undergarments, it wasn't anything that jaemin hasn't seen before, but he never wanted something more than what you had now:

a body in its natural form, not covered by clothes. it had all the blemishes and all the imperfections, but it only reinforces jaemin's love for you; when he chose to love you, he chose to love all of you.

jaemin sighs, immediately engulfing you in an embrace that leaves you surprised.

"i'm so sorry. that was so shitty of me."

"thanks for apologising, jaemin. i'm glad you realised your mistake, but, i have to say... it wasn't that bad of a backhanded compliment. i think i've heard worse."

your lover pulls back questionably, "crap, really? i'm sorry they said those things."

jaemin's frown is endearing while he feels all the feelings, soaking in the way your expression turns solemn. you shake your head. "don't be sorry, you weren't the one who said those things."

"but still-"

"i think maybe it hurt more, because it came from you." shrugging, you pat his cheek which brings on a tiny smile. with a peck to the crown of your head, he lays his forehead to yours, cradling all of you into his arms. "i'll do better."

smiling, you lay one on his lips. "i know you will."

[night-rhea]

MC House Challenge! ❤️💛💙💚

This is  @kyril-hphm​ ‘s amazing idea!  I wanted to do it daays days ago but... Some shit happens everyday right? And ı also wanted to try different style to draw hairs, ım sure one day ım gonna figure it out. (ı realized ı made their eyes color wrong...damn.)

So here ı am with my girls!

İts turn out a bit long, so ım putting this button here. İf you want to know girls better, just click it!

Gryffindor Night ❤️

She is LOUD. You think Slytherin Night is loud enough? Just wait to hear this Gryffindor's voice. Bill use her in the mornings when a few Gryffindor couldn’t wake up in the time. Also need a silent moment in the common room? Just ask her, ım pretty sure even Ravenclaw Tower can hear her "Shut the fuck up!"

Also yes, this Night is not shy about swearing. But she is mostly creating absurd swear sentences. "For the fuck sake Merula, ı dont give a fuck about your fucking power GO AWAY AND FUCK SOMEBODY ELSES EAR WİTH ALL YOUR SHİT" As you can guess, she is bff with Merula.

İf you cant hear her voice, there is 2 possible place she can be. Quidditch Pitch and detention.

She is playing as a Chaser and this is the one of the only way to shut her up. Like Rath, she let her skills speak for her.  Even its just a practise, Night is always so focussed in game, sometimes her looks scaring Charlie away. She really loves Quidditch, this adrenaline. Oh and she loves the victory of course. That makes her second Skye. Poor poor Orion..

For the detention part, she is in there more than she is in  her own dorm room. Unlike Slytherin Night, she is a fan of Tonks and Tulip's pranks and loves to mess with grumpy Filch. Also detention is not that bad. With Jae here, there is always a way to have fun. Charlie always says that one day Night and Jae's closeness will blow their towers up. Everyone is just waiting for this day. Even McG.

Lets talk about her relationship with Jacob. They were really close when they are little. Because of their last name's bad popularity (ım planning to explain this later), they didnt have any friend other than each other. When Jacob left home, she lost not just her brother but also her best friend too. (Lucky for her, in Hogwarts there will be Rowan)

She dyed her hair red right before coming Hogwarts. To show everyone how she is gonna be Gryffindor just like her brother. Also while everyone talking shit about Jacob, Night refused to believe her precious brother can do something bad like that.

giggles Wanna gossip about her? Like her best friend ,she has a big fat crush on Bill. You should see how she blush when Bill compliment her. She cant help it he is "too fucking cool"!

Night and Rowan spend so many nights to talking and fangirling about him. But after realizing that he see her as a sibling,  not a lover, she was a little heartbroken and tried to date some other guys who is like him. She ended up single of course, because no one can be perfect like him.

İf you want chaos, Gryffindor Night is your girl!

Hufflepuff Night 💛

My favorite thing about this Night is her smile. İts so warm and full of love..I should admit she is the purest Night but she is too good for her own. This is the why she is entire Hufflepuff's little sister. Especially Diego's. But nor she or me can decide that he fancy her or just love her as a little sister. you know, because its Diego...

Not so suprisingly ,She loves to take care of her friends, just like Orj Night, but this girl is doing it more serious. She is the mom friend of their group. She is gonna make sure you eat all your meal and drink enough water. And if you didnt, well you need to deal with her.  Also Night will remind you to take right books for your class if you two have same class. "Did you study for todays quiz? Oh why didnt you?! Come on ı can tutor you! We only got 11 minutes but nevermind that!" Dont worry she got you. Aand One more thing, she has best shoulder to cry. Im not kidding, she will hug you until you feel better and ı can guarentee you that her kind hug and angelic voice will help you calm down.

İn the other hand, Huff Night is not good at handling her own bad emotions. Her anxiety level is a little higher than other Night's.

She is not a "so different" person. İts her words not mine. Being Rhea makes her a little bit special of course but not in the good way. She is just average girl with a unlucky family, thats all. She loves her loved ones more than she loves herself, and always wish that she can be powerfull just to protect them. But sadly she dont believe she can, she is not like Merula. Not that brave or confident . Or Tonks. Not that talented. Or Penny. Not that pretty and popüler. Aah ah, this pure girl has a lot in her mind(or should ı say her heart?) but so shy to talk about them. Damn girl, go and talk about this to Rowan (While you still can...Can you imagine how she break after she cant save her best friend..?)

Enough, İts time to tell you happy thing about her life!   She was very suprised and happy (but mostly suprised) when Merula ask Night to be her date. They started to date in fourth year. (Everyone thanked Night for making Merula more calm and tolerable. Night said that Merula dont need to be tolerated)  Well they have their up and downs of course. Before Rakepick betray them, fifth year was pretty good (Night cried for her girlfriend when she learn about Merula's parent) but unfortunate thing  that  happened in buried vault, made their hearts to apart. Night still love her deeply and wishes  she was powerfull enough to save her from Rakepick so they would still next to each other now.(I know ı said "happy thing". Thats why ı wont tell you that after Rowan's death Night thinks maybe its best if Merula far from her. No ı wont tell you that)

But dont worry about her! She is gonna smile no matter what because her smile can make someone else smile too! İf you love tea and cookie, please let her know your favorite cookie. Her mom sending her delicious Turkish tea and she will be happy to share with you!

Ravenclaw Night 💙

After Slytherin Night, Ravenclaw Night is my second favorite. I really love her general mood.

As you can see, she is the only Prefect Night. And there is simple reason for that, she is perfectionist. She didnt became Prefect because she wants to help others, she became one to make sure everything is right. All other Night helped their Rowan to be Prefect but Ravenclaw Night dont believe that other Ravenclaw's will listen Rowan. She herself is more suited, just like Chester. (She really respect Chester) But dont get me wrong, Night dont underestimated Rowan. She just believe Prefect should be more serious and Rowan's heart is so pure for that.

And unlike Hufflepuff Night, this girl have a lot faith in herself. When Night is doing something, she knows it will be perfect because she wont stop untill its perfect.  

I should warn you about her, she loves to complain. "Damn ı have to do all work. Why cant you do anything  right on your own? İt was easy, even for you. Go and do something else ım gonna finish this one. No stop wait dont do anything. Just. Go."

Just like this,she can easily tell "rude" words. Even if she didnt trying to be rude.  She is just saying whats true! İts not her fault that truth is more bitter than lies. And sorry but truth has to be told. Even if someones heart can get hurt. Lies can make everything worse than a little heartbreak. İts like a poison that tastes good and late effecting. They should thank her for not poisoning them.

Her friends? She dont have a lot. Because of her rude attitude, a lot of people dont get near her often. Fine by her. She dont want "extras" anyways. Her little group of friends is enough for her. Also she have Rowan, right? Rowan is her true soulmate. This two girls can spent hours in library and this is their favorite hang out. Honestly all Night need is Rowan and some book, she can live without any other people, thanks. But she can admit Talbott and Badea are pretty good too. Especially Talbott. He is her second best friend, if she has to give it a number. (This two became friends a little too fast. They have so many similarities. Biggest one is "Fuck Peoples" motto. They even have a ugly t-shirt that saying that. Andre died when he saw it for the first time.)

I think her mom Selina is responsible for Night's reckless behaviour. She was already angry to Jacob for leaving her behind and being ignored by her only parent makes her..ıdk, like that? She tried so hard to make Selina to notice her daughter is still with her.Tried to make her portrait with her pastel pencils, tried to brush her long hair and dressed like a princess, tried to write " I love you" in her mirror.  But little Night's little heart couldnt understand that pain of losing her son (just like how she lose her husband.) When she came to Hogwarts, she give up about her mom." İf a mother dont need to worry about her own child, then ı dont need to worry about anyone else too." But of course, she is not that heartless like she likes to think.

I think you can imagine that other students calls her names. Like "freak" or "selfish" or "egoist". She mostly just ignore them (because she dont believe they are worth to explain why she is not these name) and pretend like nothing had happened, Talbott and Rowan know she actually care and wants to be more "good". More "likeable". She is just making everyone uncomfortable when she walks in and she know it. But there is nothing she can do. İts in her blood. She is just like her mother.

I feel like ı talk too much about bad thing. İts time to tell moments when Ravenclaw Night smile. She dont have a normally smiley face but of course she smile. And you know what? İts mostly because of her boyfriend. This girl has a big soft spot for Barnaby. She literally melt every time he talk. İn the beggining she thinks he is just some stupid Slytherin and not worth lose any time but after being friends (which is a miracle) she can punch you in the face if you call him stupid. (Dont test about how hard she can punch.)

How the heck this boys heart can be this beautiful? Like, boy your parents nothing but shit to you how did you turn into biggest and cutest puppy in the world? And again, how did he love her? I mean, look at Night and look at Barnaby. They are so different and he can be with literally every witch in schooli and yet he is with Night. She dont know what she did to be this lucky but she is not planning to let him go. Just watch her.

(And ı dont know if she will notice you if you dont talk with her. She will talk with you politely at first, dont worry. Just try to not say something about her being bad prefect or something bad about her friends or boyfriend, you will be fine.)

Slytherin Night 💚

It's finally Original Night's turn to shine. How about starting with why she is most masculine looking Night?

İt was because of Selina. After Jacob left, he was the only thing Selina talk about. She talked about how she misses him playing violin, his eyes that he took from her husband, his gentle voice. Unlike Ravenclaw Night, this didnt make our Night angry. İt made her jealous. She decided that if she wants to make her mom happy, she should remind her Jacob. Maybe if she can do this, her mom would miss him less and smile more to Night. So she asked Selina to cut her hair like Jacob's.

While she growing, she tried to act like Jacob. She learned violin, wore his old clothes. She even answered when Selina called her "Jacob". And it worked. Selina started to smile more, started to talking with her more, even she cook  special meals sometimes. Menu was always full with Jacob's favorites but it doesnt matter to Night. Her mom did it for her!

İn Hogwarts, she learned that she is nothing like Jacob. Hello,  dissappointment. She was too loud, too energetic, too friendly. She learned that she can't be Jacob for her mom. At first, it  freaked her out.

Thats why she didnt want to go Celestial Ball. Didnt want to wear dress and made her hair longer. (She did want. She just didnt let herself.) And when Andre and Rowan keep asking about,, Night finally tell them everything. You know what happened? Her two angel friends talked about hours how they love her in the way she is, how she dont need to be Jacob because its her own life and she deserved to be happy.

After a lot of hugs and crying, Night wore the dress that match her name, kept her hair short.

I made this too longer ı guess ( ı was planning not to tell about Slytherin Night...) but ı always wanted to explain why ı love her. İm proud of that she can make her peace with herself. Selina is still problem for her, and still will be problem in the future too but right now Night is free from the cage she made it herself. Of course sometimes her anxiety hit her and made her feel like she is all wrong but its not a something a few late night flying cant solve.

Am ı gonna make it longer because ı wanna talk about Night and Talbott relationship? No, there will be another time for that.

She is always open for more friends. Wanna play quidditch or make/ listen music or drink tea or cook something? Night will be happy to join you in literally everything.

[paperback-writers-blog1]

The Secret

By: ModLennon & ModMcCartney

Rating: T

Pairing: John/Paul

Summery: Modern AU! John meets a boy with a secret, but will he ever find out what it is?

Chapter 3/?

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Tags: @the-beatle-queen

When Paul took off John got truly worried. Something was wrong! And Paul was saying he had to protect him? He couldn't let him run off like that, he had to at least try to stop him.

"Hey, woah! Paul come back!"

John took off after him. Paul wasn't really thinking about being careful and as he ran over a worn dip in the pavement he stumbled and fell to his knees. He couldn't find the energy to get up. He just stayed there, sniffling and not caring if he got funny looks. John was able to catch up to him quickly then. He immediately knelt down to check Paul over.

"Are you hurt??" He looked so worried, horrified at the idea of Paul hurting in any way, whether physical or emotional.

Paul just shook his head. He couldn't look at John. John carefully pulled Paul into a little hug.

"Cmon Paul.. what's all this business about protectin me? You dont have ta worry so much.. if ya don't feel the way I do.. I'll recover. I'm okay with bein friends, you know..."

John couldn't help but think it had to do with that. He simply had no idea what Paul was going through.

"N... no I... I'll hurt ya....I... I like ya f...far too m...much but we... we can't.... I can't.... can't..."

Paul would never be able to be just friends with John.

"Paul.." John spoke softly, lifting Paul's chin to look at him properly. "It's gonna be okay. Whatever this is about... it's okay. We don't have ta move fast. We don't have ta set any kind of expectations for the future. Just relax, yeah? I just wanna spend time with you, as much time as I can while I can, okay?"

"But when the time comes-"

"Then we'll deal with whatever this is about."

John had a sinking feeling, but he wasn't lying. If Paul was terminally ill or something similar, which it was starting to seem like what with how secretive he could be and the vague comments he made now, John still wasn't lying. He wanted to spend as much time with Paul as he could.

"For now, won't you let me take you home?"

"There... there can be no ‘we’ in the matter, don't ya get it? All I can do is leave ya behind an...an just...hurt ya."

Paul fell forward so his forehead rested against Johns shoulder. John's assumption was pretty much solidified by that comment. He hugged Paul tighter, feeling the strangest little ripping in his chest at the very thought.

"Then stay with me now, while you can." He spoke in barely more than a whisper.

Paul just nodded. How could he say no to John now? He understood the situation and he was still wanting to try for a little while. He was willing to have his heart broken to spend a little time with Paul. He knew either way John would lose him. If he didn't pick John he'd have to leave eventually. If he did...Paul swallowed and sat up.

"Alright... alright."

John relaxed a bit at that.

"Did ya hurt your knee?" He looked worried. He had seen Paul fall and wanted to make sure he wasn't too banged up from it before they got up to walk.

Paul gave a little nod. While he was sure he could probably walk on it, there was a nice lump forming. Besides he wanted an excuse to keep hold of John.

"Here, get on my back, I'll carry ya back." John insisted.

He knew he could just let Paul lean on him for support, but he wanted Paul closer. He wanted to show Paul he would carry him through whatever.

"Ya... ys sure?"

Paul knew he wasn't exactly fat, but he was pretty much the same size as John.

John nodded, "of course."

He smiled kindly and shifted so that Paul could easily climb on his back. Paul was unsure but still got himself settled on Johns back.

"Dya know where Forthlin Road is?"

"Yeah actually. That's right near me..."

John sounded a bit shocked again. Paul lived that close to him... and he had never seen him before today? It didn't seem possible. When Paul was settled he started walking. Paul relaxed completely. He didn't usually like others carrying him, self-conscious about his weight, but John was so comfortable.

"Now ya know where I live I suppose there's not a whole lot I can do ta stop ya comin round ey?" He sounded quite happy about that, despite everything.

"Not a chance. And I'm not the kinda guy who waits three days or whatever other nonsense people do these days. I'll be pestering you as soon as possible." He sounded very pleased with himself. He wanted to spend every free moment he had learning more about Paul.

"Well... this will be interesting to say the least." Paul commented.

"I can promise you that much."

John spoke with so much fondness in his voice it was almost even alarming to him.

"That and I have never taken a boy home ta meet dad before." Paul chuckled.

"Is he very strict?" John asked, for once actually sounding a little nervous. His own experiences with parental figures in his life had left him wary of parents.

"I wouldn't say strict. Just... protective."

Paul had a feeling it wouldn't exactly surprise Jim, to bring back a boyfriend. But anyone he brought back would be under a lot of scrutiny until Jim was satisfied they wouldn't hurt Paul.

"I can handle protective."

John could understand that, after all. He felt strong urge to protect Paul himself, so he was sure he'd get along with others who shared that feeling.

"And Mikes younger so he don't get a say in who I see." Paul joked.

John laughed at that. When he spoke again it was in a much softer voice.

"Dya think they'll like me?" More than anything, families made him insecure.

Paul had a little think, wanting to answer truthfully.

"Yeah... I think they will."

John seemed to relax a bit, though he'd been unaware of it he had automatically tensed up when Paul's father was brought up. Paul rested his chin on his arm. He could easily fall asleep like this.... he found he had dozed off a bit, only to be brought back to reality by John asking which number.

"Huh...?" He mumbled as his brain caught up. "Oh... 20... we already here?"

"Unfortunately, yeah..."

John really didn't want to leave Paul now, but he couldn't stay by his side forever really.

"Oh... well now I gotta decide if we should say bye at the door or if I should invite ya to my room."

Paul hated the idea of John leaving.

"Hmm.. dya have classes in the morning? I wouldn't wanna keep ya up, but if you're not doin anything else..."

Paul shook his head.

"Then I'll leave it up ta you," John smiled.

"W....well... would ya?" Paul asked almost shyly.

"I would love to." John said sounding so sure.

The more time he could get with Paul, the better.

"Ya just wanna be nosey ey?" Paul giggled.

When they got to the door, he carefully got off John and let them in.

"Oh, of course." John grinned. "I wanna see how ya keep your room. I bet ya keep it nice and tidy. And i bet... hm.. i bet ya alphabetize all your records and books or movies or whatever else ya got in there."

"I do not!" Paul gasped.

Paul shut the door behind them and yelled a hello to anyone around then led John up to his room. It was neat, but not so tidy. Paul hadn't exactly been expecting company so didn't tidy up. He blushed a bit. John looked very amused when he saw it.

"I guess I'm not always right. That's okay though, we'll get along even better than i thought."

He instantly went to look through Paul's record collection. It was obvious Paul took care of his collection. It was the tidiest thing in the room. On the shelf were various record and record player cleaning items. It seemed to be a little music corner, as Pauls guitar was on its stand near the shelves. His desk had a few scattered guitar picks of various thickness and colour. His favourite was stuck in the strings of his guitar. His desk was a whole other story. It was a creative mess. Not one thought was ordered, scraps of paper with drawing practise were laying mixed in with his actual collage work and some lyrics. A few of Pauls favourite lyrics that he wanted to really work on were pinned to a cork board above the desk. There seemed to be some kind of order there, with lyrics on the left side of the board while college notes were on the right. Other than that it was an ordinary room, a shelf of books and dvds, his laptop on his bed. A wardrobe with a few posters on, showing Paul did enjoy modern bands too. He had a muse tour poster, one for the American idiot musical, a small Elvis tribute act with a little signature in the corner and a clearly vintage Elvis poster in a frame on the wall. On top of some draws were various family pictures. It was a small room but had so much of Pauls character packed in. John took his time looking at everything. He didn't speak as he did, just silently walked through observing everything he could. The room told him so much about Paul and he wanted to learn everything he possibly could. Paul took his shoes and jacket off then sat on his bed.

"Well? Now ya here... did ya have any idea what ya would do once ya did?"

"I had a few," John looked over with a wicked grin. "But tonight I wanna keep things simple." He finished flipping through Paul's stack of books and finally went to sit on his bed. "When did you first start collecting records?"

John went right back to asking questions. He couldn't help himself. He just wanted to know everything. Even the things that might seem boring to others.

"Um... when I was about 11/12. Mum showed me a record she had and I liked it so much she said I could keep it. We used ta go record shoppin."

"Which record was it?"

John was very interested in that. His own mother was the one who got him into records as well. Paul stood up and went to the shelf. He flicked through until he found it. He carefully pulled out a best of Buddy Holly and handed it to John.

"She said she remembered Grandma playing it when she was younger. Probably not this exact record but... yknow."

"Ahhh Buddy Holly.." John smiled appreciatively as he looked it over. "So you've always had good taste then."

Paul blushed a bit. "W...well thanks ta her. Left ta dad it'd be jazz an brass bands."

"I'm sure she's quite proud of the collection you've got now."

Paul suddenly went quiet and turned his back to John, finding something to distract himself instead of responding to the comment. John wasn't too sure, but it did seem a bit odd. He moved so he could hug Paul from behind, resting his chin on Paul's shoulder.

"Paul... I want your whole life story. From the very beginning.. from your first memories.. tell me everything that led to you being this person, with those posters and those books... tell me about your favourite films and your favourite place to play as a child. I wanna know everything."

Paul quickly wiped his eyes.

"Well I... I can't remember /everythin/..." he mumbled.

"That's okay. Just tell me everything you do remember."

John wasn't stupid. He could tell something was a bit off after the comment he had made. He could only assume the worst.

"W...well I dunno where ta start... a lot of it is... borin growin up stuff yknow."

"I don't think I'll find any of it boring," John said with a smile.

"I can't think of anythin you'd really wanna know." Paul shrugged. "What I went ta school, rode a bike, hung out with friends?"

"Mmm.. tell me about your friends? Maybe favourite childhood memory?"

As John spoke he laid back on Paul's bed, making himself at home. He wanted to get a feel for Paul's life, see what he saw every night before bed.

"Oh... well I dunno... I mean I never had any like... really close friends. Coz we move around so much yknow? An kids ain't great at keepin in touch..." Paul paused for a moment. "Well... for a few years I did but... moved again so we fell outta touch." Paul found he never had problems making friends. But he did have difficulty keeping them. Mostly because he got secretive, hid away a lot and disappeared for months on end. Most of them just moved on. "Best childhood memory? Well... usually when we managed to go to a beach. Formby was the best but we would sometimes travel to New Brighton or Blackpool."

There it was again, a sudden fondness for water, specifically the sea. Which didn't add up to how he behaved around water.

"Huh, I was kind of under the impression ya didn't like water. Ya seemed so skiddish at the docks..."

John wondered briefly if something had happened during one of those beach days that traumatized Paul. That could explain the love and hate relationship with water he seemed to have.

"O...oh well.... the... the beach has other stuff yknow... playin in the sand an most have...the arcades..." Paul couldn't look at John. Instead he sat at his desk. "Anyway there was a reason you asked to know everythin. You wanna know somethin specific but ya don't wanna ask outright."

Paul raised an eyebrow. He had seen the behaviour before. He knew he could get funny when Mary was mentioned and people were so worried about upsetting him they would ask sort of vague questions in the hope he'd tell them. But Paul was careful with how he answered, only letting them know what he wanted them to. Sure if they asked he'd answer, but how much information he divulged would depend on how much he trusted them

"Actually I do just wanna know everything," John smiled. "But I am curious about somethin, yeah.. your mum.. she isn't around anymore is she?" He asked, his voice a bit softer now, sympathetic.

Really all the signs were there, the way Paul only talked about John meeting his father and brother, how he had said they used to go record shopping as a past tense. They were subtle clues but John was more attentive than most. Paul sighed and just shook his head. At least John made it a bit easier to answer, rather than the usual 'so what happened to your mum?' John didn't know what to say, so he just went to hug Paul again from behind, a bit tighter this time.

"Mine isn't either.." his voice was barely a whisper.

John just wanted Paul to see he understood, that /this/ was something he didn't have to feel alone in. He had lost his mother just a few short years ago, and he knew the pain all too well. Paul looked at John for a moment before turning to face him and just letting himself cry, hugging John just as tightly. He understood. He wouldn't expect Paul to be brave or tell him crying was childish. John held him tight, letting him cry. He had a horrible feeling that Paul had never been able to properly cry or show anyone how he felt about this. After a while, Paul pulled away wiping his face.

"S...sorry..."

"Ya don't have ta be sorry for anything." John said with a sad smile.

Johns own eyes were a bit puffy, as he had cried a bit as well. He was bad about Julia, he had never really processed it properly either. Without thinking, Paul gently wiped Johns eyes. It felt so good just to be able to grieve. He missed Mary so much, much more that the others just couldn't understand. Sure they missed her, but sometimes it physically hurt Paul to think she wasn't there. His future was so uncertain, there would be problems only she could help with. Paul bit his lip, looking at John carefully.

"I...do...are ya gonna...go home soon?"

It hurt less with John around. He felt so safe around him.

"I'll do whatever ya want me to. I'll stay however long you'll have me."

John closed his eyes at the feeling of Paul's hand on his face, leaning into the touch a bit.

"I just..."

Paul looked away. He felt so silly feeling like he did... he just met John a few hours ago.

"What is it?" John asked softly. "You can tell me.."

John couldn't deny their connection was quite odd, and it was all so sudden.. he didn't want to overcrowd Paul. He was worried that he might be, if the intensity was more one sided and Paul was just too kind and soft to push him away. Paul had a light blush across his cheeks.

"Ya just... make me feel... safe." He mumbled.

John's answering smile was so bright and pleased, the insecurity that had been bubbling up completely washed away.

"Good. I wanna make you feel safe."

Paul gave John a sad smile. He knew it couldn't be forever and one day, maybe soon, he'd lose that safety. Either way he couldn't resist cuddling back up, hiding his face in the crook of Johns neck. The only thing that made him pull back was the need to be a good host.

“Are ya hungry at all?" He asked. "Dya need anythin ta drink?"

He had no idea how long John did intend to stay. He wasn't sure if he would find it weird, staying the night, so he wasn't entirely sure how much to offer. Would he want to borrow pyjamas?

"I'm alright for now."

John was perfectly content just cuddling with Paul for the moment. He did hope that Paul might let him stay. He felt like he could stay with Paul forever and never get tired of him.

"W... well...dya wanna get more comfortable?"

Paul seemed a tiny bit bolder in his own room, but was still rather nervous about asking John these things. He didn't want to push it.

"I could go for that."

John was trying to take everything at Paul's pace and not be so bold now that he was in Paul's space. He didn't want to make a nuisance of himself. Paul moved off John then looked a little lost. He wasn't sure what to do now. They were clearly moving forward, getting closer, but Paul had never been in this situation.

"Here, why don't we put on a record?"

John suggested, thinking ahead a bit. There would be less pressure on Paul to say or do anything if he could just relax to music.

"Sure... what dya fancy?" Paul relaxed a little as he went over to the shelf.

"Maybe some Elvis?"

As John spoke he took his shoes and jacket off and settled in on the bed, leaving room for Paul to join him to cuddle. Paul nodded and put on a best of collection. Once playing at a nice low volume, he turned back to John. He carefully climbed onto the bed. Because it was a single he was practically on John, cuddling up. Outside it had gone dark and rain had started to fall. It was so cosy, Paul found himself quickly relaxing into Johns arms. John tried to make sure Paul was as cosy as possible before properly relaxing himself. He ran his hand along Paul's arm and back, stroking gently. The moment felt so perfect and surreal, he never wanted it to end.

"So um... this... this is pretty... not normal... for two guys who just met right? So... so what...uh...what...do we...what did ya... ya want...?"

Paul wasn't sure what John expected. He didn't know what was acceptable and what crossed a line.

"Well, to be honest I've kinda thrown normal out the window for this. I've never had a connection like this with someone before so.. I don't really know what ta do. But... obviously if anything I do makes ya uncomfortable... you can tell me yeah? Or if ya just get tired of me bein in your bed.." John smiled, "otherwise I'd just say do what feels right. I don't have any expectations, Paul. I'm just thrilled to be here with you."

Paul nodded a bit, but he was a little giddy after all this.

"So.... so you... ya my... friend? Nap buddy?.... body pillow?" He joked.

Maybe labels didn't really matter, but they did help set boundaries for Paul who was new to all this. John grinned a bit at that.

"Hmmm.. well I'm not big on labels, really.. but I was hoping for something a bit more than friend.." he mused.

John in as he spoke to gently run his nose along Paul's jawline, leaving a little kiss on his neck. Paul gasped a bit at what John was doing.

"I... I just...I don't know how ta... ta..."

Whenever John got near to his ear, specifically behind it, he would gasp louder and pull away. It almost looked like he was ticklish there. John had to bite his lip to hide the huge grin from that reaction. There were more serious things being discussed right now, though he did file that information away for later use.

"Have ya never dated someone before?" He asked, his tone gentle and understanding.

Paul shook his head.

"Like I was saying earlier... it could never be for long so... so I never bothered."

"Well... Paul... if you'll have me, I'd like to be with you for as long as you want me."

John's heart ached at the knowledge that that might not be long, but it only made him hold Paul a little tighter.

"I just... you'll be hurt. An... an ya ain't gonna understand why... I just... I can't say..."

Paul was so worried about this. He had no doubt Jim would make him leave when he had to, and eventually he would spend less and less time in Liverpool. Jim wouldn't let Paul do what Mary did. And even if he did, John would have to watch him die, like Jim had to watch Mary die. Knowing it was because she chose him, he was the reason, Paul saw it tear his dad up. How could he do that to someone he loved? Paul froze. Loved? He looked up at John and felt the flutter. Oh fuck...

"I know... you don't have ta tell me why, Paul. But like I said, I want this. I can't leave now knowin you exist and live in a world where I can't hold you, at least for now. I'm very...taken with you. And I want you for as long as I can have you... and the rest... I'll deal with it when its time. But that's on me, that's my choice yeah? So let me choose this."

"What if... hypothetically... ya... ya were the..." Paul sighed. He couldn't lay that on John just yet. "Nevermind. Ya right. It is your choice. An I suppose ya not gonna be that easy to deter right?" Paul gave a little smile.

John grinned, "ya got that right. The only thing that you could say ta make me leave ya alone is that you don't want me. So.. if ya ever change your mind.. I won't bother ya forever. But as for right now I happen to think you want me around just as much as I wanna be here. So lets steer into the skid and just live a little."

John had a triumphant smile, like he had won the lottery in getting Paull. Paul knew he should tell John he didn't want him. He should send him away. But he just couldn't he couldn't stand the idea of John going out with someone else. As selfish as it seemed, he didn't want to let anyone even consider having a chance with John. Instead he gave John a sweet kiss on the cheek. John turned his head to catch Paul's lips in a proper kiss, a bit more than the ones at the docks, but he was still very gentle and slow. He didn't want to rush things, but he was just thrilled to be able to kiss Paul. Paul felt a tingling through him as John kissed him. He could do it forever. However eventually he had to pull back to breathe. He looked up at John gasping a bit, lips red and swollen and a blush across his cheeks. John looked at him and felt his heart swell. Fuck! He had /no business/ being that hot! He had to look away or he didn't trust himself to not get carried away, so instead he closed his eyes and covered Paul's face in sweet little kisses. Paul screwed his nose up and giggled as John tickled him a bit. In the end he resorted to hiding his face in the crook of Johns neck again, still laughing. John finally gave up when he hid his face and just laughed with Paul. It felt so right to hold him. John tried to commit this moment to his memory, one thing he would never forget no matter what the future held.

[yourknightingale]

Bechloe is Real, Bechloe is Endgame (THIS IS THE WHOLE MOVIE SO DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED)

Obviously this will contain spoilers. Bear with me. This is all by memory and as chronological as I can so this is super lengthy.

I can’t stop thinking about this. Here in Tumblr, I’ve seen a lot of other people’s theories, some Bechloe details they’ve spotted in the movie, and even the subcontexts. (Hurrah, you guys!) But please, allow me to do another take. Or maybe just a combination of all the ideas in most shippers’ heads.

PP2 Chloe, first of all, was so afraid to leave the Bellas that she had to fail classes, right? Yet, when they graduated, she stayed with Beca and Fat Amy. I mean, Fat Amy and Beca were already roommates in PP2 so it wouldn’t be a surprise if they just continue that. But Chloe? That’s actually pretty interesting. It makes me wonder why.

So now, the three of them are living together— in a 2-bedroom small-spaced apartment. Fat Amy, I agree, would need her own bed to herself. So our Bechloe may have been “forced” to share a bed, like share a bed by default. We all know where this is going because grumpy cat Beca sleeps with bouncy happy Chloe. There will be no personal boundaries regardless of how much one would’ve complained at first. Eventually, Chloe wears Beca down.

3 years of that, and you tell me Bechloe won’t fall into a mutual kind of understanding about each other’s feelings. Fat Amy is basically just blocking actual sexual tendencies between the other two. In my scenario, Beca and Chloe are much much much closer than Chloe was to Aubrey and Beca was to Fat Amy. To the point actually that everything that happens in their lives, the first thing they do is let the other one know. So this is where PP3 opens.

Remember in the apartment scene, Chloe asked, “What happened?”. Fat Amy then replied that Beca was fired. And Chloe’s face there was just like I knew that already but I have to pretend it shocked me so you won’t question how I know and you don’t.

Next scene, they went to the “reunion” with the New Bellas. And everything Bechloe in those scenes were in other people’s post already (ie the cup, the songs mentioned). There was also a moment there where Chloe said, “They all definitely have boyfriends”. There’s a gif going around on what kind of face Beca pulls in response to this. In my head, I translated it to “We share a bed. We sleep together. You cuddle with me. I text you a lot. We eat together. We do a lot of things together when Fat Amy ditches us to party or date because she doesn’t have a legit job she needs to wake up early to. We’re definitely more than best friends now, Chloe. Why the heck do you sound so envious of these young girls having boyfriends? What am I, chopped liver?” Well, I may have overthought that brief second expression but whatever.

Drunk Chloe making a toast is not new to Beca. She’s probably seen and dealt with something worse. So Bechloe was just interacting with other Bellas so nobody will be suspicious (because they obviously know that the other Bellas are aware of Bhloe). Basically, that’s the only reason why they’re being lowkey. They just don’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to themselves. Because even though they have a mutual understanding, no one really confessed anything. Which leads us to

Spain, Bellas! Chicago enters the scene and Beca immediately notices smitten Chloe. Oh boy! We all know Chloe is down for anything. So I also agree that lust is what she has for this guy in uniform. (So in the Riff-off, I just want to encourage all of you to watch Background Beca.) The Bellas got off the van and some details here about Chicago offering her hand to Chloe and to Beca, too, but she just didn’t take it. When they get to their rooms, the Bellas’ heads peaked out of their doors one by one. Of all rooms, Bechloe chose to be next to each other’s. They have separate door numbers but their rooms are certainly side by side. And they’re both on the bed, too, with the “picking chocolates” scene. They may not talk directly to each other but their closeness manifested, for sure.

Theo comes in and talks to Beca but she just isn’t down for dudes. She said he looks like a turtle. Uhm what? He’s nice to her but she blows him with that? Somebody’s still probably thinking about a pining lady over uniform guy and isn’t just in the mood to entertain. “That was so much eye contact”, she said with a kind of tone that suggests she finds it weird and disturbing. And don’t we remember the shower scene with Chloe’s “hypnotizing eyes”?

Bellas perform Cheap Thrills. (I just scream when bechloe are in the same frame, that’s all.)

The ladies are in a room discussing using instruments and such and Bechloe are on the bed (again!). This is the scene where Emily storms in and tells them to dress up. So they went to the Casino, and when Aubrey tells them to pair up, Bechloe walked off together. Now, this is mentioned already so many times. But I just want to say that I actually would’ve expected Aubrey and Chloe to pair up and Fat Amy and Beca to pair up. It makes sense, doesn’t it? But I get why they have to make Fat Amy all by herself. So one pair got a 3rd person. Anyway, this is where the infamous boob grab scene happens. Chloe actually felt Beca up a bit and so the lady had to ask, “Dude, what is this about?” It’s like, we’re so distracted and busy with the USO Tour and now is the time that you think is the best to start doing this? It’s a good thing Aubrey intervened. Or is it NOT a good thing? I mean, by the looks of Chloe, she seems to be wanting to do that for a while, maybe thinking “I’ve seen these but I don’t actually know how they feel in my hands. Unlike Prince’s butt. Let me push them a little bit. It’s different when she’s awake or I pretend to accidentally brush my hands over them.”

Remember in the suite when Theo asked to borrow Beca? Chloe was about to go with them, right? That’s why Turtle boy had to say just for a second. I mean, even that guy realized they’re a pair that actually needs permission when separated. I mean, Flo was there, too. And some Bellas. But Bechloe, well...

Beca and Chloe don’t have to talk for us to realize there’s something going on there.

Now they’re in Italy, I think. Remember when the Bellas were in the pool talking about Evermoist? This is when Beca bumps into Theo, with her arms up, covering her chest. She doesn’t even want any physical contact with this dude. Seriously! Also, the other Bellas went out for a drink and Chloe made a toast again. She’s been drinking through this movie. I wonder if it’s because of a certain small DJ and a handsome stranger surnamed Walp. Like, she’s undeniably trying to sort out her feelings for Beca and her lust for Chicago. That dude is charming so it still makes sense. She gets distracted again, of course, because of the whole hostage crisis situation.

Beca, of all safe places to sit, decides to hide behind Chloe. Surprise, girl friend! I’m here to save you. And the snaps we see of Bechloe during Toxic, with the eye contact? You tell me that isn’t a mix of I’m glad you’re here, we’re gonna survive this and if we’re gonna die tonight, I’m gonna regret not making out with you. This performance is key to Bechloe.

A lot of things are revealed in the confessions scene. Beale was probably gonna surprise Beca beforehand by telling her first that she passed her vet test but they were really in a complex situation so she had to say that in front of everyone. Beca still looks proud of her though. So there’s that.

“She loves hugs,” Chloe speaks. Of course, she says that. She knows. She mainly played a major part in that. She probably just didn’t know Beca meant HER hugs. Beca loves HER hugs. But it was still a heartwarming moment for the Bellas.

And now, we’re in the end. Freedom may have been Beca’s coming out song. I know a lot of people said that already and I don’t see why not. Chloe looks really proud of her. She was just sitting with Chicago but she’s probably glad Beca invited all the Bellas up. That way she leaves cute guy behind.

Bechloe hug after the song. Beca probably whispers, “This is more like the hug that I learned to love.” And this is where it became so obvious to everyone that Beca and Chloe really are endgame.

They probably talk about this in private afterwards, where you can imagine the confession happened, or maybe not yet. Still this is when they knew they should end up together.

Chloe still has that kiss scene with Chicago, though, right? So what was that about? How does that make Bechloe real? Well, this scene was fixed by a drabble I read that actually made sense to me. In that said fic, Chloe only kissed Chicago to let that “guy in uniform is so hot” out of her system. That’s it. It doesn’t mean anything. That’s possible. Without doubt, she told Beca about that and the other gal is probably like, “I don’t really mind. Especially now I know you’re really into me.” I kinda picture Beca as someone who is not easily jealous without reason.

So there you go. I explained it. Bechloe is real. Bechloe is endgame. I can finally sleep because I can believe now that this is what happened in the movie.