#take away my electronics
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Day 166- Polysexual
#day 166#lgbtq#polysexual#pride#june#art#dragon#dragon a day#daily dragon#illustration#take away my electronics#I am so tired and I gotta work#I am now future me and I regret everything#I’ll probably do the same thing tonight again#I learn nothing ever
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#broody <3#arthur pendragon#merlin#*#princeling#4.10#someone needs to take my electronic devices away from me before i write anything more in these tags#(reminding myself) he's blond. he's blond
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throwback tuesday to that time when i took one of the few large lecture hall classes i ever took in college, a class on pre-1500s English literature, and the professor (a balding man with a British accent who banned computers because, according to him, he once caught someone watching Shrek 2 on a laptop during the lecture and he was upset it wasn't Shrek 1) stopped in the middle of talking about Beowulf to a hundred students to ask ME SPECIFICALLY (in the back half of the room but not all the way at the back) if I was using my smartphone under the table, so I had to lift up my hands and show him that no, I was knitting because the class had a bunch of printouts so I didn't need to take notes but the man wouldn't let me play spider solitaire or scroll tumblr and I had to do SOMETHING with my hands, and he was like, "ah, weaving peace I see. it seems we have the peaceweaver in our class" and then just carried on with things
#pickle pontificates#i'm not even mad. he was just eccentric enough to get away with it#always annoys me a bit though when college professors are like that#like girl you realize that a significant portion of students take notes electronically right. and if someone's watching shrek 2 then idk ma#it's their college experience. you're still getting paid#the lame beowulf joke did make beowulf stick in my head though#was it worth being perceived by 100 people at once for no reason? that's still up for debate#now the TA for that class. that guy actually sucked#a year later i was still running into people who just had the worst time with him. straight A eloquent friendly newspaper editor students#like the kind of students professors just love. engaged and respectful and earnest and talented. and they all hated that guy's guts#i had a gossip right in the english department about it. kinda scary. was afraid he'd come around the corner
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Here's the thing.
I'm fully aware that he's a murder
But the things I would let him do to me..
With he's fucking hands!
Is what should be illegal.
( ・_・)♡
#someone take my electronics away#slasher fucker#slashers#slasher fandom#fuuck#thomas hewitt#the texas chainsaw massacre#why do i do this to myself#i'm sorry#it's was funnier in my head#when i thought about this#thomas hewitt x reader
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examining your relationship with your art can be fun
but watch out
#examine too hard and you'll have a crisis#or *another crisis if you're like me#sometimes yeah i think about it too hard and then i get the intense prey instinct#to chuck my tablet into a field and then take off sprinting in the other direction#though i know id just come creeping back like a cautious but curious deer. get a little closer. run away#closer. jump back. poke the tablet and run away. come back and poke it again.#its the 'what am i doing? am i doing what i want to do? am i enjoying this? is it hurting me?'#will admit i have these thoughts every other day#ill have like a good bit of fully enjoying art & what im scribbling#and then suddenly ill wake up the next day and its terrifying and Too Much and huh??? HUH???#i want to draw but im so so scared <3 but im being sooooo brave about it <3#anyway i think we should all destroy our electronics and run screaming into the woods#OH MY GOD SOON I CAN DO THAT.#not the electronics - i mean the running into the woods part#oh im so excited. when its all too much i can just walk in nature with no one around#that Will fix me! for sure!#when the Art Fear™️ comes back i can just... go away for a few hours and touch some motherfucking grass#AND MAYBE FORAGE SOME CHICKEN OF THE WOODS. I AM DYING TO HARVEST WILD CHICKEN OF THE WOODS.#LITERALLY HAS BEEN A LIFE GOAL FOR YEARS NOW#when the Art Fear™️ creeps in i can get some big chickeney mushrooms and cook em up. refresh my soul....#absolutely unprompted#but yeah sometimes i wonder if im drawing for myself or others. like drawing for others is fine but... i think there's a fine line#am i balancing it? am i Indulging enough? am i doing what i want to do enough???#are my people-pleaser tendencies consuming me again? am i feeling Pressure? hm. yeah its crisis time#am i living how i want. am i enjoying how i want. am i interacting with welcome home the way i want to.#i think im going to go do the dishes....
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My mom would ground me and say shit like “youre waking up at 7 am every day and doing chores for 12 hours” but then would either forget that or just realized it wasnt going to work and i didnt care and if she wanted that to happen she’d have to threaten my life. So the vibes would just be rancid as fuck for like a week
#got my electronics taken away a lot and that sucked because then i had no contact with anyone that was sympathetic to me#but i didnt go out with friends anyway i didnt reallt do anything so there wasnt much to take away from me
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Someone has to stop me…I want to write another Gojo angst in five hours like I did last night and then work on a nice fluffy one-shot while I write Survival…
Trust me I’m still working on Survival and almost finished with the next chapter, but this brain rot of ways I can write angst for chapter 236 is just overwhelming! SOMEONE TAKE MY COMPUTER AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEHVGUHBRXD!!!!
#fxtal.talks#I can’t stop writing angst#someone take away all my electronics#I have a problem#I don’t even know how I did it last night#I JUST STARTED WRITING WHILE WATCHING DANCING WITH THE STARS
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I'm telling Dabi you're kissing the TV!
NOOOOO anon 。゚(゚ノД`゚)゚。 you guys always rat me out to him!!!
#he's going to take away all of my electronics#he's going to tease me for being attracted to a television with legs#he is going to get unreasonably jealous of an animated drawing (lol)#no but really every time i have a new hyperfixation i always think about how much dabi would fuCKING HATE IT#he needs all of my/our attention on him at all times#such a little drama queen ugh#i hope ur having a nice friday anon bb! <3 stay safe n enjoy ur weekend!!!#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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always fun whenever I bring up an anecdote from my childhood and it turns out it wasn't an anecdote, but actually recounting an apparently traumatic event. at least according to the people I tell the anecdote to.
#somehow my dnd group got to the topic of punishments for bad behaviour we got from our parents as children#and i casually mentioned how i got grounded for months at a time and got basically socially isolated#also all electronics taken away and cable cut on the tv. all i had were books while i had to stay in my room#also the 10 liter buckets of cold water dumped on me and my bed when depression kept me from getting up in the mornings#all to correct bad/annoying behaviour brought on by untreated mental illness#I've lived with this for over 15 years now it's become normal to me but apparently that's not normal?#one of my dnd buddies who was in the day clinic program with me says it checks out with all the other stuff i told him about my childhood#anyway. thought of the day tbh#(clarification my parents haven't done this in YEARS it was only around the time school was still mandatory to attend for me#and my parents would've received a hefty fine if i didn't go semiregularly amd got decent grades and decent education)#now that i'm an adult with a job and am taking care of my own business they don't punish me anymore#(except the one time i was still unable to work due to chronic pain and the painsomnia made me pass out during the daytime#so my father decided to cut off wifi access from all of my electronics for weeks to 'fix me' like old times)#but that was just one thing. no biggie
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I don’t have time to watch the suchwita episode with jin yet and I am having to physically restrain myself from starting it anyway
#someone take my electronics away I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME RIGHT NOW👺#those are my boys! this is not a game! this is my life!#they did this for me specifically
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Desperately wish to leave home I wanna be GONE
#I bet they’re gonna start taking shit from me. cuz since I didn’t pay for my electronics they aren’t really MINE.#and then I’m gonna be completely alone and then what?#I just wanna run away and exist somewhere else for a while where nobody’s breathing down my neck hounding me for stuff that I can’t do#<- because of how bad my depression is#but at the same time what’s the point of ME if I can’t do anything? why am I around at all if I can’t contribute to anything?#agh
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clouds are so cool like they just look Like That
#im still sleep deprived and aware that my electronics need to be taken away hopefully ill shut up when i geg home and take a nap#when i get like this i lose the ability to text people#and posting it is
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A concept:
Käärijä and Häärijä recreating this for their calendar
I might edit it to add their faces
#käärijä#jere pöyhönen#Häärijä#khäärijä calendar#jane's addiction#Nothing's shocking#Please take the controversial albums away from me#Actually take my phone away#And every electronic device
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how the fuck did i crash my laptop by changing the language of a videogame
#just talking#hahaha this happened hours ago and it's still not workinggg#my tactic is to just unplug that thing and wait until the whole battery or whatever it's called is used up and then plig it into electricity#so it can load until useable again#so yeah#this is my life now#and if you're gonna say 'tell ur parents' bitch i will not they will yell at me so much and take away all of my electronics
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Just screamed so loud in my car that both my ears rang and a spider fell from the ceiling. My throat hurts.
#my pharmacy won't fill my meds AGAIN because some motherfucker decided to make a new policy that requires more instructions or something#i keep not getting my meds when I need them because every time i get a new script sent out (like one I haven't been on before) i hear...#...nothing back from the pharmacy; generally for days; and then when i call them (every 10 or 15 or 30 minutes for several hours) no...#...one picks up the goddamn phone and i have to make time to go in in person and ask the pharmacist when my meds will be ready.#and then they tell me 'oh yeah we HAVE the script from your doctor. we just need MORE INFORMATION and sent them an ELECTRONIC NOTE...#...(reminder that i live in fucking rural idaho so most people use a fucking phone and not 'an electronic note') and haven't heard back...#...from them yet so we're just waiting on that :)' and then i have to smile and thank them bc it isn't their fucking fault the policy is...#...some fucking bullshit and then i have to call my doctor on the phone (and can never reach them directly so i have to get a...#...receptionist to leave them a note that i HOPE they'll see in the next couple of days but sometimes they don't) and since i never have...#...an emergency it's often 2 or more weeks before anyone gets back to me. i usually have to call the pharmacy again. and then they don't...#...always answer and i usually have to go in and ask AGAIN why my meds aren't ready and they go 'oh we're still waiting on your doctor'...#...:) or 'they sent us a message back but it wasn't ENOUGH information and we sent them another ELECTRONIC NOTE that they won't see for...#...days or weeks so we recommend YOU call your doctor even though we're the ones flinging you around like a rag doll and you have 0...#...control over it. and by the way we're going to continue doing this for like a fucking year every time you get a new script. and when...#...your doctor asks you if the new meds are working you're going to have to say 'i have no fucking clue because it took 6 weeks to get...#...my goddamn prescription filled and it takes 3 months for the medication to show signs of working so my pharmacy wasted HALF of that...#...time sending electronic notes instead of filling my motherfucking prescription and i was supposed to be off these meds by summer...#...since they cause intense sunburn and shit and i have an OUTDOOR JOB NOW but my acne is still bad and hasn't gone away enough to stop...#...using the super intense stuff and my face hurts and swells and oozes and i have to wear a wide-brimmed hat and sunscreen EVERY time...#...i go outside because i can get a sunburn in 20 minutes now and i've been having heat rashes from the sun for the first time in my...#...LIFE and i have to fucking monitor myself every time i go outside and it's the warm season and i need a new pair of lighter work...#...pants but they don't sell above a size 18 for women even though men go up to like a size 45 which is like a size 24 or 26 in women's...#...and men's pants don't fit me bc i was blessed with the largest ass in the history of mankind' and i am so. fucking. tired.#of all the bullshit.#i feel miserable. my mom is buying me otc imodium bc i have NO IDEA when my prescription will come available. i just want the cramping...#...to stop. i've been having diarrhea all day every day since sunday. the cramps HURT and they keep me up at night. i haven't been...#...eating much bc there's so much shit moving around and hurting in my gut that i can't feel when i'm hungry and food doesn't soumd great.#so i'm weak and slow and tired and can't go to work and i'm using up all the sick days i was hoping to save up to visit my friend in...#...cyprus this winter. so that probably can't happen. but anyways. my mom came by while i was typing this out and i feel betterish.#personal
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I haven’t slept in days, and my hair is turning grey.
#someone make me take a nap#like take away every electronic device I have so I can't google myself into a black hole of anxiety or devour an entire book on kindle#just give me all the blankets & pillows#and turn off the ilghgts#and tell me to go to sleep#that's the kind of dominance I want in my life right now#I WILL PAY#but not in cash#i'm serious
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