#take a 2 minute trip to the CVS up the road? I will listen to music idc
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top ten favorite bands/musicians tag game
I wasn’t tagged, I’m just an absolute sucker for these tag games these days (again) and I enjoy feeling like part of a community and including people in stuff!! But, my idea for my list was like “stuff I currently listen to” then “stuff I haven’t touched in years but still holds a place in my heart” Cause as we do, music tastes can change over the years LOL but do whatever you wanna do!
1. The Hunna (Very new to me, though I’m not sure why it took Spotify until mid 2023 to recommend them to me?? But they’re lowkey on repeat daily)
2. Bearings (Very pop-punk, I really dig them okay. Straight bangers, as they say)
3. Broadside (Again, pop-punk. Though, their newer stuff is kinda falling off for me :( )
4. With Confidence (Though they are a band no more, their first two albums were pivotal for me, thank u very much)
5. Michael Jackson (I am and forever will be a stan for this man and his music, goodbye)
6. Ed Sheeran (I have loved this man and his music a long time, and that is not about to change. Ed feels timeless to me (esp his earlier stuff))
7. Hamilton Soundtrack (I’m counting this because it was my SHIT for a while there and if got me through some hard times...and I even got a tattoo LOL)
8. Prince (I did have a Prince phase yes, I even got his lyrics tattooed, but I don’t really listen to him much anymore like a pleb)
9. One Direction (and all of their solo stuff) - (I don’t really listen to them that frequently anymore naturally but I do listen to their solo stuff from time to time (EXCEPT LIAM LOL) but always got a place in my teenhood heart!!)
10. Demi Lovato (I think they/she got a lot of stuff yet to work out and I didn’t really like the newest album but their/her vocals on their/her ballads? FUCK ME UP!!!)
Tagging: @aeide, @findusinaweek, @cataliinaa, @cringy-username-dream-wanderlust, @fikali, @blue-mono and whoever else wants to do it! Absolutely no pressure as always and I’m sorry if you guys did a tag like this already LOL (and I know we talk a lot about music in the server too but I digress)
#sometimes i feel like my music taste is very bare bones and not interesting#but then i remember if it makes me happy then who friggin cares#i love music and will share my favorite songs to you without hesitation#take a 2 minute trip to the CVS up the road? I will listen to music idc#music tag#tagging game#top ten musicians#top ten bands#top ten bby#the hunna#bearings#broadside#with confidence#michael jackson#ed sheeran#harry styles#one direction#demi lovato#prince
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Well that'a a wrap- the D.C Cross Ecstatic Racquet album tour is complete! Thank you so much to all my new fans and old fans for the support! It was a lot of fun. I probably drove more than 10000 kms for the 9 shows- which is mental..it was all good until the car broke down in Albury on the weekend- keep reading and you can hear about the drama of the last 48 hours in point form!
Thanks to all the nice people, other musicians and venues and sound people and bar people at the places i played at. All thank you for the free beers, dinners and when people let me stay at the venue or their homes for free. Super mega thank you to Dusty Attic Music Lounge , Howl & Moan Records, Petersham Bowling Club, Plantbased Wholefoods, The Merri Creek Tavern , Franks Wild Years, Mounties and the Bridge Hotel Castlemaine (which is impossible to tag on Facebook).
So everyone is always crapping on about stuff that happens to them on social media but the last 48hours of my tour was quite eventful and i think entertaining for others. Here in point form i will mention the unfolding of the events.
Saturday 3pm Show in Thirroul - Sunday 3pm Show in Castlemaine, Victoria - a bit of driving (about 1700 kms there and back to Sydney) but pretty straight forward- right..what could possibility go right :/
•drive from Marrickville to Thirroul - so far so good
• play a cosy show to some nice people at Franks' Wild Years- very impressed german guy says that i am a beautiful musician and play the guitar like John Frusciante from the Chill Peppers - Brad other founding original member of Gerling comes to the show-a wonderful gesture of support
•Finish show in Thirroul and with a broken GPS head on the drive to Castlemaine, Victoria (about 845km's).
•Get tailgated on the Bulli Pass by some tradie fuckhead- a bit of an anxious 10 minutes but make it okay - our faithful 2004 Holden still seems to be okay.
•Drive for 5 hours on route to Albury as its more than halfway.
•100 kms out of Albury car starts shaking uncontrollably - i thought it was just the Hume Highway - so just cranked AC/DC and LANKUM new album on the distorted car stereo.
•60 km's nearer Albury situation with car gets worse- now know it was a busted CV crankshaft (no idea) and apparently quite dangerous
•Navigate car into Albury and call road side assistance. Sounds like i get a drunk Andrew Jackson Calvert type guy on the phone who relishes in the fact he can say that they can't help me and can tow the vehcile to a mechanic on Monday morning. It's 9.30 Pm Saturday night
•Find the cheapest accom in Albury -$66 a night and stay above a 2 floored techno beer barn full of teenagers on MDMA and very loud party remix / techno music going on. The room looks like was last renovated in the 1950's.
•Call the only guy i know in Albury and hit the RSL after Ross Wilson had just played. Didn't see Ross and damn glad i didn't hear 'Come said the Boy' the second most dodgy song in Australian Music History.
•Stash broken down car in Coles car park. Got to bed in backpackers with Digitalism's - Zdarlight blasting through the building.
•Awake sunday morning and hire car and drive to Castlemaine.
•An hour out of Albury a crazed fucktard - Chopper Reid vibe guy - cruising along in a shitbox Commodore with two kids bikes strapped to the back - a blue bike and little pink bike gets upset that i overtake him on the freeway. As im overtaking he speeds up- i was wasnt really checking my rear view mirror as as i was looking straight ahead to overtake- pretty legit an safe driving from me- anyway, Chopper Reid speeds up and whist i'm overtaking and gets really really mad..i do the thumbs up mate sign and makes him even more angrier..he follows my agrresively for the next 200 kilometres.. very intimidating - the most alarming thought of this was if he is driving so recklessly with two small kids in the car (nee the bikes) imagine what he would do if he caught up to me after 2 hours of full on road rage anger. Yep just what i need right now- anyway decide to James Bond him and speed up so he cant see me, speed into a truck parking side station behind a bunch of bushes- wait till i see him fly pass - teeth grinding trying to find me. Wait 5 minutes and commence my ongoing, fun-filled journey
•Castlemaine Bridge Hotel is a lot further than i calculated. And a path i have never journeyed before- no GPS is making trickier.
•3 hours later -- I ARRIVE! PHEW.
•The Bridge Hotel Castlemaine is a safe haven of coolness in all the chaos.
•Meet old friend Casey Rice at the Bridge Hotel and play two sets of my music to people actually listening to my songs- made the ordeal worthwhile and Skyscrapper Stan aka Stan Woodhouse - the kiwi songsmith works there as the barman- equally parts good and evil - that guy is a crackup..easing into the afternoon with a free pint of something, some comedy gold from Stan and a half price healthy dinner with green stuff in it (maybe vegetables- not on a burger bun so im a bit confused how to eat it ).
•Stay the night above the venue and get up at 4am to drive car back to hire car place. Venues alarm system goes off when i'm having a shower…find the exit and leave gracefully
•On the drive back to Albury - around 4.35am my phone GPS stops working and end up on some lonesome unused highway in a State Forrest in the middle of nowhere - using just my instinct to try and navigate back to Albury
•See a giant Pink moon setting over the trees in state forrest - i think heading towards Canberra (no idea) and makes the trip worthwhile
• Two massive kangaroos leap across the road just seconds away from me, right in front of the car- it's still pitch black - i narrowly avoiding hitting them (a split second before this happened a voice in my head said slow down, be careful, i dont wanna kill no kangaroos) - maybe it was the kangaroos mystical vibe -im not sure but seemed like divine intervention for the next 3 hours that we all survived.
•Some how make it to Heathcote, Victoria and get directions to the Hume Highway by a lady working at a servo with a magical hair braid getting hit on by the local milkman (why do all milkman look the same??) . I've never been happier to see the Hume Highway in my life. Listen to Highway to Hell - AC/DC on cd - my close friends mum gave my as a birthday gift she got from her work - a catholic girls schools - the library was throwing the cd out. Also LANKUM new song 'Wild Rover' that sounds equal parts Irish Rebel folk heroes/ Dirty Three and Tool - I'm having a moment.
•Eventually get back to Albury, put all my guitars and merch and amp back in broken car and return the hire car which was three times the amount i thought it would be cause i had driven extra kilometres.
•Get back in my barely drivable broken down car - Monday morning trying to find a mechanic in Albury to repair car. •Seems all mechanic in Albury are too busy- we can fix the car in 5 days time or are on holidays… Stranded far from home….
•Finally find a mechanic on the outskirts of town who can fix the car- drive barley drivable car around Albury trying to find the mechanic- stressing out front wheels will fall off - takes about 20 minutes without gps and hats off the bloke who gave me the best directions of my life to find mechanic.
•Mechanic looks at car and says its my lucky day - they have the spare part in Albury -which is very rare … a new crank shaft (no idea) - and he can fix it straight away ($500 seems reasonable ).
•Wait 5 hours in the belting Albury sun. Eat the biggest and best potato scallops ive ever had (from North Albury) and presto- hand over credit card and Car is fixed. Drink 2 litres of hot Mountain Dew and drive 6 hours and arrive home safely.
• Triumph scene from Rocky -Bill Contis 'Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky) plays out in my head as i drink a beer and lie on the couch. Maybe next time i will fly.
• And thats what it takes to play two shows as an underground cult folk musician in Australia.
• Get Ecstatic
• And please buy my album on bandcamp to help pay mechanic - maybe a Xmas gift, coming of age …. en vogue vinyl experience
•Remember kids, "It's a JUNGLE out there!".
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summer tour days 10 + 11, post-tour thoughts
wow it literally took me over a month to get this entry up, sorry haha. santino roasted me for this several weeks ago and it still took me this long. i’ve been chronically bummed out for what seems like a month now, so it was hard to muster up the will to write. period, actually. it’s been really hard for me to write music lately i literally have to push myself and i find no joy in the things i love anymore!
anyways, here’s the last 2-3 days of our tour!
day 10 - philadelphia
sunlight peered in through the glass sliding door behind me as i woke up around 8:00 am in a living room with 8 other people, packed tightly across deflated sleeping bags and worn-in couches. i felt tired, but i was up already. i knew that if i didn’t get up and shower now, i was going to be waiting for five other people to shower before me.
everyone took a few hours to get ready before we decided to head out to breakfast together, including jorge. we had a lovely lil family breakfast at this nice cafe about 10 minutes from jorge’s house. it was a small spot overlooking the valley that had an expansive coffee and espresso drink menu. i got a cappuccino that had some FUN art in it and a Very Disappointing Eggs Benedict. I was a dumbass and asked for the florentine benedict with lox added, instead of asking for the lox benedict with spinach added, which would have cost me significantly less hahaha.
look at how small this bullshit is
sitting at a table with my bandmates and julie, we agreed that despite how long we had been on the road that we felt like we could keep going. i could tell everyone felt drained, but content. it’s like we all knew we were enjoying the last moments of freedom away from our boring lives back home and were cherishing each other’s company.
after paying our checks we said our goodbyes to jorge and piled into the van. we had a much shorter drive due to staying in state college, but still hit some traffic approaching philly. not a surprise. it was also weird arriving philly from the west and not coming over the ben franklin bridge, haha. as we drove towards south street we admired the sight of the chinese lantern festival, which we sadly wouldn’t have time for. as opposed to missing DGD’s tour, i was sure i’d live vicariously through photos of it from my friend’s back home and didn’t feel too bad.
i completely forgot that south street is one of the busiest streets in philly and is mere minutes away from TLA. i realized i had been here before and felt my blood pressure rise realizing parking would be impossible. however, behind the venue we found a shoddy dirt parking lot. skeptical of whether or not this was a good idea, we approached the lot attendant and asked if it was okay to park, explaining that we needed a clear space behind us for opening the trunk to get gear out. the attendant obliged to our request, or so we thought.
i’m not gonna lie, i had NEVER heard of the tusk before we played there and it was actually a cool spot. the staff were cool and it was much more spacious than the pictures led me to believe. loading in up a couple flights of stairs was just the worst part. we played with our friends in copley woods which was great, and played with another philly local old city revival. another touring band also hopped on last minute. our set was purely okay??? we all agreed it wasn’t my best set but whatever i had fun and people still dug us so that was fine. jaime and santino had to be like lined up behind one another with their amps and then joe got one whole side to himself hahaha.
photo credit: julie yi photography
i’m going a little out of order; i’m pretty positive this actually happened before our set. but out of nowhere i’m in the upper level of the venue by the stage and merch when julie texts the tour group chat BUGGING saying “HELP COME DOWNSTAIRS WE’RE GETTING KICKED OUT OF THE LOT”. so both bands run downstairs to scope out the situation, anticipating hell in the form of trying to find a new parking spot by south street in philly. what happened was, the lot attendant parked a vehicle behind ours, and when confronted about his promise that he made, he threatened to kick us out of the lot. however, jaime somehow magically de-escalated the situation somehow so the attendant agreed to move the car and everything was fine hahaha.
the night was wonderful because santino’s dad came out and we hung out with some real cool people, the only downer was we had to stay later than anticipated because the promoter added that fifth band/touring band on the end, AND, the touring band were the only people who listened to the promoter and played a long set. yeah, the promoter wanted us all to play for 45 minutes but all of us were like, fuck that. but this band ACTUALLY had that much material so they played FOR AN HOUR. ALL of us stayed and we watched them, but we were so fucking tired and we just wanted to go home. we stayed because we understood the importance of supporting other bands, and these people were out here all the way from denver, colorado. but we were so done. and on this night we were staying at my house in brick so we were only an hour and forty five minutes away from a comfortable sleep. AND, my boyfriend was going to be coming over late too so i was just dying to get home.
after loading out, a taco bell trip and a relatively short drive, we made it to my house around 1:00 am. and jeremiah still waited up and drove over for me uuugh :’)
day 11 - wallingford, ct
god, waking up to my boyfriend and fresh homemade breakfast by my parents was so, so good after being away for so long. it felt pretty strange to be home, and so briefly, but it was so good. we sadly couldn’t stick around for long after eating breakfast, as we had our van drop-off scheduled for 1:00 PM before our last show of tour in connecticut.
we have shindle drive us up to jaime’s house for one last drive in the van. it’s always sad when you’re in the van for the last day and you know your grand adventure is soon coming to an end. it rained as we drove up parkway north and shindle weaved in and out of shitty new jersey traffic. i definitely did not miss the parkway while i was gone.
shindle wanted to run home quickly to shower and change at home (understandably), so not soon after we unload all of his belongings he takes off. it sucked so badly unloading the van in the rain but what could you do. we started plotting where we were going to get a bite to eat after jaime, julie and i dropped off the van.
i look around at my bandmates and i go, “okay, who has the key?”
everyone stares blankly at each other.
joe goes, “uhhh, i think shindle gave it back to santino?”
santino looks back at us and goes “... i don’t have it.”
we tear apart our bags and turn our pockets inside out. search the interior of the van hoping it was left in the dash or on the floor by accident.
the drop off time for the van is 1:00 PM. it’s 12:15 PM.
and we realize that, shindle still has the key.
shindle’s phone died from the fifteen times i called him. he had left his phone on silent and didn’t look at it while he was driving back to little falls (who would). i had to call bandago and add another day to our rental. it sucked so badly. i was so frustrated that i started crying and jaime’s mom had to console me hahaha. i had to come to terms with the fact that there was literally nothing i could do. we weren’t going to get the key back until we saw shindle later. so i took a deep breath, put myself back together and we just left for the show anyways.
photo credit: julie yi photography
we arrived to wallingford, CT around like, 5:30, maybe 5:50 PM. i felt my throat acting up again. in fact, it started to feel shitty a day prior but i was praying that i could still pull off a good set later that night. julie walked with me from the venue to get throat coat from CVS and hot water from mcdonalds. i couldn’t really go on voice rest; i had to just drink a lot of fluids, warm up as well as i could and hope for the best. cherry street is a small venue/dive kinda place, but i actually really liked it. anthony told me a lot of people have complained about the sound there but we actually had a really easy time. but there were two people doing sound, one was scotty the venue’s regular and then there was a guy named will who ran the board for our set. will was great. scotty was just really nice too haha.
our friends migrant played the show as well as the band visitations. it was really great to see the guys in migrant again; we’ve been playing shows with them since 2016. we both played our first-ever studio at webster show together opening for sianvar before AEG shut all of webster down. because it was such a memorable night and they’re such a great band, we’ve kept in touch since then. visitations were also really awesome; i tried to watch as much as i could in between warm ups. i feel bad that i have to disappear to warm up while bands i’ve never gigged with before play, but i have to.
well it turns out, it was pointless anyways!
yeah, wasn’t fond of the set i played at all. and the sound wasn’t bad either. it was just me. i was really upset. this was our chance to win over people in a state we could easily travel up to and play whenever, and it felt so embarrassing to be up on stage and watch these people hear me blow it haha. its like nails on a chalkboard for me when i hear my mistakes. even if i know what i’m doing sometimes i just blow it anyways. chris knew i was upset too because he just patted me on the shoulder as i slumped off stage like “it’s okay just go do your cool-downs” HAHAHA. but apparently i did something right because scott, *the* sound guy everyone knows at cherry street, bought me a shot LMAO. and some other people from CT chatted us up too, and they bought our merch (and also bought me more drinks). maybe we did do something right for these people to still approach us and have nice things to say. but i still felt like they were being way too nice to me. i still feel like people lie to me. all of the time.
it was so awesome to watch destination dimension play to their hometown, as we were all surrounded by friends of theirs who were shouting the words to future cougar with us. it was so much fun to watch them play. and it was really nice of them to wear our t-shirts on stage haha. i didn’t wear mine but i bought the gray one which i loveee and is so comfy. we didn’t get to hang long after the show ended with them which sucked sooo badly because almost everyone had work the next day. i had the next day off but not everyone was so lucky. we loved touring with destination dimension so so much. it was nice to tour with a band in the same genre. we had such a happy time and we couldn’t wait for the next time we’d all get to see each other.
photo credit: julie yi photography
it’s always so weird, the last day of tour. in the middle of tour, it feels like you’re living in this dreamscape where calendar days barely exist and your only job is to show up, play and then do it all over again the next day. that night, it felt like it all barely even happened. all of tour was already becoming a faint memory. i’d look back at photos and only barely remember what it was like to feel that joy again. and i dreaded how distant every adventure we shared together was about to become.
epilogue
my alarm went off at 9:00 am. i hear sounds of jaime’s dad walking around the kitchen and in minutes time julie wakes up next to me. i lay there for a bit before texting jaime, “you up?” he comes downstairs, i throw my shoes on and my hair up in a ponytail and we go drop off the van.
it feels like tour is over but i’m still with my friends so i feel okay. julie and i grab our belongings from jaime’s house, say goodbye and return for our drive home together. we talk about tour and how fast it flew by. i’m sort of in a rush to get home in time for E3, so julie is kind to oblige and we get her stuff out of my car expediently when we pull up to her house.
i say goodbye to julie and joel, get back into my car and instantly feel my face muscles sink. the rest of the day just sucked.
i’m driving myself home feeling sleepy and don’t even realize it. i run a stop sign and nearly get t-boned by some poor person who didn’t just spend 11 days on 4-5 hours of sleep.
i finally arrive at jeremiah’s apartment in asbury and go to pick up the coffee i bought for my boyfriend, only to realize the ENTIRE cup spilled out everywhere all over the seat.
jeremiah meets me downstairs to help me bring my bags up. there’s just so, so much shit. a heavy bag of clothes, souvenirs, non-perishable food i never ate. i’m happy to see him; i’m happy for a little bit. we place an order for delivery at our favorite taco place, and i’m joking about post-tour depression as i walk out the door to go buy beer downtown real quick. already drinking at 1:30 pm! post-tour depression, is it a thing? probably not. there’s probably nothing wrong with me.
i check my work email and the dread floods in, full force. i did promise that i’d work from home, and i did, but there weren’t a lot of time sensitive matters. i took care of some youtube community engagement, checked stats on videos uploaded while i was gone, checked the socials throughout the day.
i’m home in time for the next E3 conference but i’m not even paying attention. my work laptop sits in front of me, screen glaring back at me as i’m not even using it. i’m on the couch looking out the window and seconds later tears are pouring down my face. seemingly, with no rhyme or reason.
well the crying thing happens like every 3-5 days lmao
but it just, didn’t stop. at one point i turn to jeremiah sobbing hysterically and he just holds me. like a broken record all i could say was “i hate that i have to go back to work tomorrow, i loathe that tour is over and this is just it, no more for the year. i have to wait until next year to go out again.”
and to be transparent, this is sort of the melancholy that has sat with me ever since that day. i wake up five days a week and drive the longest hour and five minutes of my life to work, and back home again in an hour and twenty, sometimes thirty, sometimes forty.
for my entire adulthood (let’s say like going back to age 18), i’ve dreaded my mid-20s. because my parents would warn me “you need a full-time job by the time you turn 26. you’re going to have to worry about health insurance. we’re going to turn over your bills to you.” so since then, my entire experience of living has been haunted by this death clock ticking down to year 26 of my life. so at 18, i said that by age 22 i needed to be somewhere with my music or i needed to give it up. completely.
hah.
the first few years of my 20′s i coasted. my band broke up so there went my shot at playing shows until i found something new. without delving into too much detail- for three years i dated someone and because i wasn’t happy i lost a lot of time. i finally recorded music again towards the end of that relationship. when i left that person at age 22 it felt like an entire world opened up to me. an enormous weight was lifted off my shoulders and i was free. i was starting over, in the best way possible. and then mere weeks after, something serendipitous happened- a friend i met because of that relationship approached me, offering to fill-in for drums for me so that i could play shows.
i was now 23. we were way past the cut-off date for me to be pursuing music seriously. but i couldn’t say no. and now here we are.
i stayed at my dead-end, incredibly far-from-home job for too long and now i’m finding difficulty finding something closer to home. i almost had a job a few times but i got scared of losing the ability to tour due to the nature of each company, so i idiotically turned those opportunities down. it seems like, to get signed to a label, you have to be both churning out digital content AND actively touring. if we could get a booking agent and/or signed to a great label i would quit my job immediately and work at a coffee shop. i just can’t swing an intense touring schedule if i get a serious full-time job in marketing. i just want to see how far i can take this band. yet, i may be screwing my future after the band if i don’t settle for a better job than just starbucks. but i don’t want to settle, at all. i’ve been panicking about this for a year now and recently my stress has become paramount, ruining every other day for me. when i sit down to practice and feel like i’ve barely accomplished anything in that practice session, i break down. because i feel like i’m running out of time. always. i have a finite amount of time and i’m running out.
so if you haven’t seen me lately, that’s probably why. i feel guilty for going out and spending time with friends because i feel like it’s time i could be spending on music. and i work day in and day out on my singing, guitar playing, writing, learning new tools for my craft, maybe i’ll go to kickboxing or the gym so that i stay in shape... and that’s it. and it’s crushing me. managing the band takes the fun out of everything too. i’ve become such an irritable person. i hate it. i feel like i’m not myself anymore. but i don’t think the problem is music. i don’t hate music- i hate this pressure to have every facet of my life fit perfectly together. i hate not having the freedom to only worry about music. being in a serious/active band is time-consuming. i realize i can’t have it all- the stable job with money and benefits and the life of a musician- but the pressures i’ve faced my entire life to settle for security have been making me lose my mind.
i hope that something good happens next year. i hope that something good happens sooner than that. i’m pretty sure this is how i wrapped the last tour journal too. but this has been my entire life- praying that things will just work out and that something good will happen. a year from now when i look back, i hope that i can regret any worry i’ve ever had. but if i find myself looking back in regret, no longer able to tour/pursue music seriously, i’m just grateful it all happened.
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KCATCF
bySaskia Brisa Bailey-deBruijn
Tuesday, January 10th, DAY 1
11 people piled into the shiny new Earlham van – which I had gotten certified to drive the previous day – anxious with anticipation. Or maybe I was just nervous about driving in an unfamiliar city. In any case, after a relatively pain-free hour and a half – some slept, some listened to music, some happened to catch my eye every single time I looked in the rearview mirror – we arrived at the Sheraton in downtown Indianapolis. A fancy hotel, a fantastic location, and a quite frantic staff. Can you imagine being one of three hotels trying to accommodate 1300 college students (theatre students at that) as well as their professors, their personalities, and their belongings?
The van plus two car’s worth of people pulled up to the lobby, ready to rumble. While most of our troop could go immediately into the rooms, room 1907, the room Sarah and I were destined for, just happened to not be ready for new inhabitants yet and the room for Kharis was forgotten all together. Parking the too-tall-for-the-garage van thus became the priority; finding a nearby parking lot and understanding how to pay for it became the challenge. Satisfied with the outcome, we trekked onward, this time in search of food. We settled for the Circle Centre Mall food court, where I enjoyed some surprisingly good sushi and fried rice. I was taking a risk with the sushi, I know. Especially the day before my big audition…but I ran with it.
We’d noticed the wind on the drive down (tall vans become literal sails in blustery weather), but it was really rainy and really windy and my feet were getting really cold. Back at the hotel, our room STILL wasn’t ready. Sarah and I killed some more time with a trip to CVS. I was on the prowl for off-brand Dayquil and cough drops, having been infected with a phlegm-heavy head cold right at the end of winter break. Sarah got bottled water and an umbrella. While we waited (and waited, and waited) for the call from the front desk, Caitlin and Sage, our gracious intermediary hosts, opened their hotel room door to the poor lost ducklings.
At around 8 pm, we FINALLY settled into our nook on the 19th floor. Admittedly, despite the struggle to get that far, we had it pretty good (or so I thought – this is foreshadowing…ominous, ominous foreshadowing…): the view from our window looked out across Monument Circle, the beds were more comfortable than I could imagine, the lighting in the bathrooms made for perfect selfies, and the free Wi-Fi kind of worked.
The Earlhamites gathered in the hall to briefly debrief and receive our festival passes. Many of us realized that we wanted ice cream. I realized I needed to know the license plate number in order to do online parking payments. A perfect excuse to get out of the hotel, feed our stomachs AND feed the meter. What could go wrong? (Again, this is called foreshadowing.)
At 10:16 pm we arrived at steak and shake, ordered our fries and shakes and played with our straws while we waited. As 11 o’clock creeper closer and closer, Kharis and I paid for our portion and headed to the parking lot. I was now beginning to almost recognize streets names – wow!
Armed with the license plate, we headed back to the hotel to input the info onto the website and get a good long restful night of sleep before Irene Ryan auditions (among other things) the next day. I soon realized that a “zone number” was needed, so back we went again. Turns out, that wasn’t quite good enough yet. This became a frantic back and forth bonanza. I felt like a less glamourous Cinderella – our parking expired at midnight – and yet somehow every trip we made to that parking lot ended in more mayhem. How many trips did it turn out to be, Kharis? 4? 5? At one point, we were running around the parking lot on the phone with Sarah who was sitting in the hotel with my laptop trying to guide us through what the website needed from us. It was messy. It didn’t work. Kharis and I joked that we now knew every route to that dang parking lot and back again.
A bit after midnight, after texting Mia out of desperation and despair, I was told to forget about it and just go to bed. I did not forget about it, but I managed to fall asleep eventually.
Wednesday, January 11th, DAY 2
At 8 am, I continued to fulfil my duty as van driver, and happily discovered we did not get towed or receive a ticket. We transported the puppet and giant head from Facing Our Truth to the UIndy campus in order for Sage to set up her Allied Design project station. Sage and Walter both entered their projects into the Allied competition.
The three Irene Ryan nominees from Earlham – myself, Elijah, and Fawzia – had their time to shine Wednesday too. Each of us had been nominated for our work in an Earlham production and had been preparing in the Fall semester for this day. The Omni Hotel in downtown was hosting the event, with hour-long slots to perform a prepared monologue and scene with a partner and then a lot of waiting around to hear feedback. Pro-tip: The shuttle goes all the way to UIndy first and then comes back to downtown, wasting 40 minutes of your time and resulting in the inability to watch any auditions before yours (which is the piece of advice everyone gave me). Just walk the 10-minute walk. Do it.
Theo and I arrived at the Omni a bit after noon, and we were set to go second in the 2 pm session. Zia and Cameron were still sitting around waiting to get feedback, so we sat with them for a bit. We got to practice for 5 minutes in a room with big windows. There was water and candy. We could peek into the space where the audition would be.
And guess what? I was a lot more nervous than I was expecting. SO many nerves. I kept telling Theo “These people are so much more social and friendly than I am. I don’t have the desire to interact with anyone except Earlham people.”
As the clock dragged its hands through the mud of time, I found a smattering of songs that helped me feel better. If you’re ever freaked out by an audition or anything that might make you nervous, and ALSO happen to share my exact same taste in music, consider listening to the following:
Any Road by George Harrison Smoke & Retribution by Flume A Little Party Never Killed Nobody by Fergie Golden Hind by Dr. Dog Come Together by The Beatles
All of a sudden, we were lining up and having our picture taken and being told where to go and when and it was too real and what if I forgot all my lines? and does my hair look okay? and do I have to pee or am I just nervous?
Then, it was over. Just like that. I didn’t go over the two-minute time limit, I didn’t forget anything, and they even LAUGHED at the funny parts. The minute it was done, I was bubbly and outgoing and happy to interact with those around me. It was incredible. Turns out I’m not antisocial, just really prone to self-secluding habits when nervous.
We received some reassuring and exciting feedback from the respondents, and left smiling. With some down-time before our daily group check-in scheduled for 5, I headed back to the hotel to change and then catch a shuttle. Remember that foreshadowing? Yeah, that wasn’t just about the parking from the first night. The drama has only just begun!
Shuttles (reportedly) ran from 8 in the morning until 5 pm every day of the festival. At 4:27 I headed down to the lobby with seemingly perfect timing – a bus had just pulled up. Apparently, he told aspiring bus boarders to take the next one. So, I waited along with other festival-members. The next one comes and tells us his shift is over after this run, to get the next one. The next one says the same, and by now it’s at least 4:50. I text Mia, apologetic and unsure of my options. I’m advised to take a taxi or an Uber. Fine, cool, I’ve totally done this before and know what I’m doing. That’s all lies. I ask the front desk hotel staff how to call a taxi and they say there are always two sitting out front. Perfect. Convenient. (Maybe.) I figured much of my discomfort was coming from having only eaten an orange all day. I get in with what I hope is enough cash to get me 6 miles out of the city during rush hour. We’ve made it less than two blocks and we’re at $6 and it’s way past 5 pm. I don’t know exactly where I’m going and I assume the driver and I are both thinking “I hope we end up in the right place”. Eventually, I start to recognize where we are and I feel good. I desperately google “Should I tip my taxi driver?” as we pull into the parking lot, pull out the $20, stuffing the loose $1 bills into my pocket and gathering my things. I text Mia that I’m here and that I have a written receipt and where are you? They wave and I am welcomed with an enthusiastic chorus of “You made it!” and “Kiaaa!” and “Let’s go get dinner!”. I head to the van with Kharis – definitely my new best friend – glad to have survived my first solo taxi ride and excited to fill my belly with food. The excitement soon disappeared as I struggled to locate my wallet. I just had it, I just paid the taxi driver. I just must have left it in that dumb cab. We pick up the rest of the group and I voice my concern to Mia. People begin to shuffle through the van and my belongings as others try to discern where we are getting food and consequently, where I am driving. Mia desperately searches for a website and a phone number for the taxi company and I desperately search for a parking lot close to Subway but also not too far from the noodle place. Mia finds a disconnected phone number and I find an empty lot situated pretty perfectly. Small victories, right? I realize I’m crying a decent amount when Sage WS comforts me in silence. The noodles are yummy, at least. And the portion was so big I couldn’t even finish it. Back at UIndy’s campus, we file into the auditorium to hear the keynote speaker say inspiring or important things, as those folks tend to do. Before I find my seat, I call home to sobbingly inform my parents that my debit card needs cancelling. They remind me that it’s not my fault and to enjoy the rest of my time here. Parents are so smart.
The keynote speaker was sick and couldn’t be at the festival, but we heard a British Broadway actor speak of his struggles and successes instead. Mia, Kharis, Bria and I snuck downstairs to prepare for the costume parade partway through. We got on our black pants and black hoodies and practiced maneuvering the puppet all while witnessing and admiring the elaborate and gorgeous costumes from productions including Singing in the Rain and Parade.
The “party” back at the hotel was a place for some pretty funky and mindless dancing with good company while we awaited the announcements about Irene Ryan semi-finalists. While no Earlhamites got through the preliminary round, I still felt proud about my audition and the work that went into it, and am happy that a group of us were able to experience the process together. With that, it was bedtime for me. Others were less ready for sleep, so either stayed and danced more or found somewhere in the city to enjoy the night.
These ramblings have all been to say that my first two days at the KCACTF region three events were just that: eventful. And emotional. And stressful. But I was determined to not let my desire to curl up and die and/or return to Earlham ruin the potential for networking and the fantastic opportunities I’d already paid the registration fee for.
Thursday, January 12th, DAY 3
The following day, food trucks awaited us at the main center where workshops were held, providing a group of us with varying treasures: a burger for Mia, green curry (that was too spicy) for Kharis, Pad Thai for me, and some Bistro food for Walter and Katlin. Sage HW and Bria and I headed across the street to attend the Acting for the Camera workshop with James Leagre. Bria had to leave early for her MTI intensive dance rehearsal (because Bria is bad ass), but Sage and I got to explore some techniques for being successful on camera. I also got to hold the boom mic for some other participants running through scenes.
Friday, January 13th, DAY 4
On Friday, my new best friend and circumstantial bedmate, Kharis and I departed early in the morning the attend the “Create the Change” workshop with a woman from the Broadway Cares association. I then went to a Thermoplastics/mask making workshop, and met up again with my BFF for a “Behind the Bard-Wire” (Shakespeare in Prisons) discussion with a pretty cool fella named Curt Tofteland. We then decided to call it a day, and enjoyed an early dinner at the Rock Bottom tavern. Dinner hack: eat at 4 in the afternoon to avoid disgustingly long lines and/or waits while eating delicious food.
The festival production for the evening was Breath of Stars, an adaptation of Shakespeare’s Tempest, which a good chunk of us decided to see during our 5 pm debrief.
The shuttles worked in our favor this time around, bringing us to the gigantic theater at Butler University. What a strange play. Very beautifully staged and crafted, but hard to follow and a little exhausting.
To recuperate from the mind-boggling performance, a quintet of us explored the treasures to be found in the Chocolate Café right on monument circle. Marvelous hot chocolate, rich caramels, and delectable toffee satiated our needs and brought some peace to our evening.
Saturday, January 14th, DAY 5
Saturday morning started early for Sage HW and Bria. A bit after 9, Sage had her presentation. At 10 was Bria’s showcase for the dance performance she’d been
rehearsing for. She had quite the pep squad cheering her on (as well as the other singers and dancers) in the first and second rows of the auditorium.
A collective meal in the UIndy dining hall filled our bellies nicely. Bria and I cheered on Sage WS and Sarah at the Tech Olympics while others went to see the Devised Theatre project and 10-minute play showcase.
Packing the van, arranging rides back to campus, and filling gas tanks was the bulk of the afternoon. The crew that could be joining me in the van back to Earlham after seeing a play decided to go to Butler’s campus to find dinner. Pita Pit fulfilled our needs and gave us a chance to meet Sarah’s sister who is a freshman at Butler (also heavily involved in the arts!). Mr. Burns (yes, very much named after the Simpson’s character) went up at 7:30, proving once again that theatre is a great way to tell a story, and witnessing theatre is a great way to see some pretty wacky stories. Deciding not to stay for the awards ceremony, the van scooted on down the highway for a return to Earlham promptly at midnight. Less-glamourous Cinderella, yet again. Exhausted, but excited to see friends again, we all headed our separate ways, trying not to think about the work we had missed and would have to make up the next day.
My unfortunate stressors may have blinded me from enjoying the first portion of the festival, but the more-than-dozen of us there explored and learned, collectively, a whole lot. Multiple Shakespeare and stage combat workshops were attended, while others went to a panel to learn about actor’s unions and getting hired for summer theatre. Many of us saw the productions “26 pebbles” and “Rabbit Hole” and acted as encouraging audience members for Elijah and Bria’s contribution to the “Evening of Scenes”.
The most important thing I learned is that losing your wallet is not the end of the world, even if it has your house key and driver’s license in it. Also, Kharis Murphy is best friend material.
Thanks for reading this whole mess. ‘Till next time, Kia Bailey-de Bruijn, ‘19
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