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realityhelixcreates · 5 years ago

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Lasabrjotr Chapter 26: On The Job

Chapters: 26/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: None Relationships: Loki x Reader (Let’s try this again) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Reader Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Here Have My Favorite Corn Recipe, Seriously It’s Really Good, Oh Yeah A Major Crime Was Committed, Remember That? Summary: No really, it’s a very good recipe, you should all try it out.

“So, what you're telling me,” You said between bites of dried stockfish. “Is that this goddess, your sister, was around for like, three thousand years, and was apparently a favorite of the entire army. You have those little bits of fresco painting to show me. But in the span of like, a few decades, everyone had forgotten her?”

“Or, at least, refused to speak of her, yes.” Loki said, passing a plate of buttered, dark bread your way.

It was just the two of you this time, in a little room beside the kitchens. You could hear the cooks working on the other side of the wall.

“I'm a bit leery to show you the frescoes just yet.' Loki said. “They're extremely unpleasant, and frankly, embarrassing. I brought several bits of the paintings that came afterwards, and those are much nicer. For one thing, I'm in them.”

You smiled indulgently. “That's the important part, right? Just how much stuff did you grab on your way out?”

“Oh, quite a bit.” Loki waved his fork on the air. “Practically everything I passed by, actually. I have quite a bit of room, though I admit, I stretched things a bit. Transporting living things that way is rather difficult.”

“Living things?”

“Leynarodd. The pegasus, a few others. Certain objects I thought would come in handy later, such as Gungnir. A few books, a few artworks. All artifacts now.”

You scooped lingonberry preserves onto a little cup of skyr. “But the point I was making was, there are plenty of your people that are old enough to remember her. So how come nobody ever said anything? Why were there no precautions taken to prevent her return?”

“From what we've been able to put together, Hela did have many supporters, despite her murderous tendencies. She embodied the endpoint of all that Asgard valued, the culmination of the 'noble warrior culture'. When our father decided to change his tactics to more peaceful means, there was, initially, a split in support. The commoners supported Odin; it seems they were a bit weary of being sent off to die in endless wars, no matter how much honor it brought their families. The nobles supported Hela, as they were loathe to let go of even an ounce of their power, no matter the consequences.

Then, apparently, Hela did some things that lost her all support. Brunnhilde says she attempted a coup, and murdered everyone in the palace as she went-hundreds of people, including many of her noble supporters. Heimdall remembers, and has hinted that she did something even worse, but he will not talk about it, no matter what we do.

And that's how most of the older Asgardians are. Those who are old enough to remember will not speak of it. Those who were there went about erasing her name and hiding her from sight, as if it would somehow make her wither away into nothing. We can't force them to talk, not yet. The people are traumatized after all this. Some of them saw their lives destroyed twice by her. We will simply have to wait until someone is ready.”

Loki grabbed a small bunch of grapes, and split them between you.

“As for precautions, well, I don't know exactly why Father failed so badly there. But he always did seem to have a blind spot when it came to his children.” Loki snorted quietly. “Specifically, the left side. The more I think about it the more it makes sense that he reacted so severely to Thor and myself when we displayed a lack of concern for the lives of others. He must have seen her, growing within us. He must have been terrified that we would take the same path, that all of his children would share the same fate...”

He slammed his fist on the table, suddenly angry. You jumped.

“All he had to do was say one thing about it, and all of this could have been avoided! He didn't even have to tell me, if it came down to it. He could have told Thor, and Thor would have told me! That's probably why he didn't. After Hela, he probably couldn't bring himself to trust even in his own children. But all of this, literally everything happened because he just wouldn't tell us what he needed to!”

His moods were still mercurial as ever. You might not ever get used to it, but you'd better try. You reached out and took the hand he had slammed down. He blinked in surprise, all anger draining from his face. He uncurled his fingers just enough for you to dip yours into his palm.

“Forgive me.” He said quietly. “That was unbecoming.”

“This is a part of my job too, isn't it?” You asked. “To help out with this kind of thing?”

“Technically, yes. Council is a part of the job description. I hesitate to foist that burden entirely off onto you however. I am...difficult at times, and you are not without your own traumas.”

“That's true, but you've dealt with them pretty well so far.” You pointed out.

“I have, considering how many of them involve hitting me in the face.” He chuckled at your mumbled apology. “I am not worried about it. And you have nothing to fear either. My fury could burn the very stars, and I would still never raise a hand to you.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured you weren't the type. You seem above that kind of thing.”

“Do I?” He asked, sounding pleased. “Though if a woman were to come at me with a sword, I would not just stand there and get stabbed. We've no shortage of ladies with swords in Asgard, and then there is Freya, of course...”

“Yeah? The book said she was a fertility goddess?”

“Hmph. That book was kinder to her than it was to me, but it was still incorrect. Oh, she and her brother are connected to fertility, of course. Freyr is the fertility of the tilled earth, that is well kept and fruitful. Freya is the fertility of the battlefield. Blood makes the grass grow, and she reaps a crop of the dead.”

“Uh...poetic?”

“I'm saying she is a battle goddess as well. Associations with war and combat are also overwhelmingly common among Aesir. The twins make a particularly effective pair; while Freyr is no pacifist, he also dislikes violence for its own sake. However, so great is his connection to life, that the life-bringers, that is to say, women, can never come to harm in his presence. That works out very well for Freya, who relishes battle as much as any Asgardian, and can lead her armies to battle without the slightest fear when her brother is around. She doesn't show much fear when he isn't around either.”

“But isn't that how Hela was?” You asked.

“Oh no, not at all. Freya loves battle, not slaughter. She does not bring combat to those who are not involved with it, she accepts surrender, she knows mercy. Hela would kill anybody, and once she started, she wouldn't stop until the last drop pf blood was spilled. She didn't spare anyone. She intended to murder every soul in Asgard, and was on her way to doing so when I brought the ship to liberate them.”

“You did that too?” You asked. Why wasn't he still king? “You know, for a guy who attacked my planet, you sure are some hero.”

Loki preened. “I take my responsibilities to Asgard very seriously. Not always in a straightforward or officially sanctioned way, granted, but sometimes a more obfuscated method is necessary. Sometimes, you have to trick people into doing things that are good for them. And sometimes, that makes you seem like a villain. And sometimes, you think you know how to do something that would be good for everyone, but it turns out you were a bit...overzealous in your efforts, and perhaps it wasn't such a good idea after all. And that can make you a villain as well.

Well, what I'm trying to say is that, both my brother and I have done decidedly villainous things, for reasons we felt were right. So it stands to reason, that we might both be capable of heroic things as well. And while I have not yet shown your planet anything but that villainous face, it is very likely that I eventually will.”

“Oh. Does that mean you've changed your mind about us? Most people think you kinda hate us.”

“I do not hate you.” He shrugged. “Nor your people. I don't think much of humanity, that's true. It's rather hard to, considering your relative briefness. Your constant moving and changing also makes it difficult to keep up, so why bother? Individuals, perhaps, but humanity as a whole? I'm not really interested. However...” He said, acknowledging your scowl with a tilt of the head. “Asgard is now Midgard. And so, to protect Asgard, I must also stand for Midgard. I will protect your mad planet, and you along with it.”

Heat washed across your cheeks. “That's, uh, quite a declaration.”

The two of you continued eating in silence, both ruminating over what Loki had just said. It ran over and over in your head, keeping your face hot. He would protect you, eh? Your whole world. Sure, he'd said it was for Asgard, but he'd made it sound so personal.

And the more magic you learned, the more you could help. If aliens invaded, you could teleport them into space! If robots attacked, you could...teleport them into space! Hey, it was fine to be a one-trick pony, if that one trick always worked.

“So, uh, what do we do next?” You asked. There were comfortable silences, and there were uncomfortable silences. This was beginning to feel like the latter, and you didn't want him to regret what he had said.

“The most important and prolific duty of royalty.” He stated gravely. “Paperwork.”

“Paperwork?”

“Paperwork.” He repeated. “Endless paperwork. That's what royalty is. Beneath all palaces, luxuries, and power, is a foundation of paperwork. I hope your eyes do not tire easily, because I want you to aid me with it. It will help you to understand the people a bit more.”

It made some kind of sense. Knowing what the people needed, or what they considered important enough to contact their most important people about, could tell you a lot about their values.

A small commotion could be heard rising from the kitchen next door; a great deal of laughter, complaints, and exclamations.

“What's that all about?” You wondered.

“Shall we investigate?”

*****

The entire kitchen staff was gathered around a crate, chattering. A tired porter leaned against a chopping table, demolishing some kind of drink.

“The suppliers must have found something unusual this time.” Loki said. “They are mostly wondering what it is, and how they can prepare it.”

“Lemmie see.” You said. “If it's an Earth food, I might know what it is.”

Loki raised his voice over the din, requesting one of the strange foods be handed over for inspection. A green oblong, tightly wrapped in leaves, was presented to you.

You took a single look and burst out laughing in delight. “That's just corn!” You exclaimed.

“You're certain?” He asked. “I've had corn before, you know. It's tiny and yellow.”

“I'm not playing a prank or anything, look.” You stripped back the husks, causing several of the kitchen staff to move back in surprise at the sudden, rubbery sound. You proudly showed everyone the milky white and yellow kernels underneath.

“This grows all around where I live. Miles and miles of it. This is some particularly good stuff. Cook it right, and you will have something fantastic!”

The cook asked something. Loki answered with what you had just said, and the cook asked something else.

“She wants to know how you suggest it be prepared.” Loki said, not bothering to mask his own curiosity.

“Oh boy. Okay, so you take off these outer husks, okay? Put them in the compost, feed them to the animals, whatever. These inner husks you just pull down, but don't tear off. Now you get the silk off, these little strings, you see? That part can get messy. You can compost those too.”

The entire group watched you closely, as Loki translated your instructions, but you were so used to doing this that you could get the silk off in just a few passes.

“Now that you've got the corn clean, and there's no worms or fungus, you can just rub a little butter all over the kernels. Then you pull these husks back up around the corn to hold the moisture in. Cook this just like it is on really high heat, for about half an hour. Once that's done, pull the rest of the husks off, rub on more butter, sprinkle over a bit of salt and pepper, and it's done! It's really, really good that way, and you can cut off the kernels after that, or just eat it right off the cob, if your teeth are good.”

Some of the staff began stripping husks, while the cook thanked you for the information.

“Now, this is sweet corn, and it's only available for a month or so, probably less here in Iceland. Otherwise, you can sometimes find frozen cobs, and canned or frozen kernels. There's also harder, dryer corn, some for popping, and some for grinding into cornmeal. You can make different things from that.”

“I'm looking forward to dinner now.” Loki said, as you headed back to his rooms. “If your taste in corn is anything like your taste in baking, I've much to anticipate.”

“You're very sweet. I got good at that because it was a precious resource during the, uh...Well, the dent corn would keep, but the sweet corn wouldn't. So we ate it in big batches, and we all got pretty good at cooking it. The butter was pretty rare though. Only a few local cows made it through.”

“I see...Does it bother you to eat it?” Loki asked.

“Oh no, not at all. It was one of the only good times in that whole year. Properly cooked corn is amazing, and it was one of the few times I wasn't hungry.”

Loki patted your shoulder gently. “You won't have to worry about that again.”

You felt full.

******

“So why is it that the request for more concrete gets priority over the request for more tile grout?” You asked.

“Tiling is for decoration or waterproofing, and usually only in certain rooms of a building. Concrete has wider applications, and on the tighter budget and time frame we're currently working in, we need to get as much done as possible. So the tile grout will have to wait until winter.”

“What do we do in winter, anyway? I assume the snow is too high for construction.”

“The snow does get very high. Most of the construction workers either work on the interiors of buildings, or they practice their other skills. Winter will be the time when the painters go back to work, the jewelers and smiths go back to full time, the textilers can get a great deal done. Once the construction is done, all those people will go back to their regular jobs. That will be several years though. You and I will be able to pass the hours with study, and of course, ever more paper work.”

He stacked the materials requests neatly in their 'approved' or 'rejected' piles, all of the edges perfectly even.

“Now we have...Ugh, another one of these.” He snorted, annoyed.

“What? What's the deal?”

“The Vinnalings request that I meet with their daughter. I wonder if they mean the widow, or the one who is still practically a child?” Loki said sourly, laying the paper down on the rejected pile. “I'm sure they are both perfectly nice, but I'm not interested in playing favorites among the noble families right now. I'm certainly not interested in being wed to some noble I don't even really know.”

“Is that what it's about?”

“Yes.” His sigh was closer to a groan. “It is irritating. I long ago tired of parents who use their children for political maneuvering. I suppose I won't be able to avoid it forever, but I'm avoiding it for now. And even when I feel ready, I certainly won't be marrying someone who is still in mourning for her husband, nor someone who is still a literal child! Maybe I can't expect love, but I can at least demand someone I can get along with.”

“That's...really sad.” You said, slightly distressed. He sounded so resigned to it. Fear of a loveless, arranged marriage must have been hanging over his head for centuries.

“That's royalty. Part of it. We all dream of a love match, but we know that's tremendously rare. Knowing that it's one more thing my father got to have, that I will not is just so...Well, I've accepted it, I just expected that it would happen to Thor first. I don't know how many of these he gets, but I know they come across my desk far too often.”

“Then ignore them. You're building a kingdom right now, and I think it would be obvious you don't have time for this.” You suggested.

“Oh? Is that official advice?” Loki teased.

“Yup. Look, not to pass judgment on a culture I know very little about, but you guys are way too advanced for something as barbaric as forced marriages. Most of this 'primitive' planet did away with that many years ago.”

Loki quirked a dark, perfect eyebrow. “That is very judgmental. However, I agree with you. And so does Thor, and so did my father. He began phasing such things out a short time before he married my mother, which was probably the driving force behind it. I continued his work during the time I was king, and Thor has expressed his intention to do the same. Thor...also has his reasons. Well, the tradition has only really continued among the noble families.”

“I've never known anyone who was in a miserable relationship, who could also work as effectively as they could when they were in a happy one, or even alone. You have to be as effective as you possibly can be, right? And, you know, if you keep putting it off in favor of building up the city, maybe you and the king can get more laws prohibiting it in place, and neither of you will have to worry about it.”

Loki chuckled. “It's very cute when you try to be conniving. You're so blunt about it. Like an eager child.”

“Hey!” You exclaimed. “I'm trying here!”

“I know you are, and your concern for my future happiness is appreciated. It will likely be many more years before this city is anywhere near done, with all the hurdles we must leap. Look at this one; a request for more supplies for the horses. What do you think?”

“Do it.” You said quickly. “Buildings don't need to eat, and they won't die under bad conditions either.”

“Agreed.” Loki said. “Good to know we are in accordance on that as well.”

“What kind of hurdles are you talking about anyway? Enough housing for everybody, right?”

“Yes, and adapting to the extreme weather of Earth, the unfamiliar flora and fauna. The culture shock from outside, the culture war from inside. Convincing humanity that we have a place here, convincing Asgardians that we must find a place here. The inevitable consequences of humans and Asgardians intermingling. The rebuilding of our technology, our prosperity. Learning the technology of Earth. Preserving our culture without rejecting outside influence. Adapting our culture as to not cause undue conflict. Not isolating ourselves entirely. How to relate to the incredible diversity of humankind.”

“Geez.”

“Those are all big picture items, that will likely take several human generations to achieve. But we will achieve them. We must. Your presence here with speed some of this along, I believe. When the people see your accomplishments, see that you are not the primitive savage that some Asgardians fear humans are, then they will learn to accept. Your coming here was most fortuitous.”

You snorted. “What's fortuitous? You spirited me away!”

“Are you still angry?” He asked.

“...No. I'm okay now. I just hope I can live up to all the faith you've put in me.”

Loki shuffled through a few more papers. “That's the thing about advice. If I feel you are very wrong about something, I can just ignore you.”

“Rude.” You mumbled. Loki smirked, but the expression faltered as he looked over the next paper. “What? What is it? Another date request?”

“The trial will be conducted in two weeks.” Loki said. “Both you and I are to be there to give testimony.”

You shivered. “Oh.” You really, really wanted to get all of that behind you, but you also really didn't want to be in that murderer's presence ever again. Loki placed his hand on your arm.

“Do not fear. He is powerless now. This will be the last time anyone ever has to see him. He will go to prison, and he will be forgotten. You will never have to waste a thought on him after this.”

You knew you would though.

#loki x reader #loki (marvel)

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nummero123 · 3 years ago

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Google Penalties That Destroy Traffic and How to Avoid Them

Google takes its ranking system seriously, regularly changing it to give consumers the greatest search experiences possible.

This includes penalizing pages or sites that do not follow Google's Webmaster Guidelines.

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Accidentally through poor site upkeep, or simply as a result of an algorithm update.

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and in some situations, your pages or entire website may be removed from results.

So, in this post, we'll go through what NOT to do (and what to do instead) to avoid a Google penalty and save your site from suffering a traffic decline. We'll go over:

Manual vs. algorithmic What to expect from Google penalties.

How to detect and repair a manual Google penalty.

Seven of the most common Google penalties and how to prevent them

By the end, you'll be able to maintain your ranks and continue to develop your website traffic.

What is a Google penalty?

When Google discovers that a website violates its Webmaster Guidelines, it imposes a penalty.

There are two forms of penalties, but both result in a decrease in ranking and traffic.

Algorithmic penalties

Google updates its algorithm every year to continue giving the best results to its searchers.

Panda, Penguin, Pigeon, and Hummingbird are some of the most notable Google upgrades.

Some algorithm updates, such as Panda (keyword stuffing, grammatical errors, and low-quality content)

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In that vein, are you aware of the page experience and mobile-first indexing updates?

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How to fix an algorithmic Google penalty

You can't check for algorithmic penalties because they aren't expressly specified anywhere.

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While algorithmic improvements occur regularly, they all serve to reward sites for EAT and good technical performance,

thus they should be your primary emphasis.

Manual penalties

Manual penalties imposed by Google personnel for pages that have possibly unintentional flaws such as content quality and security,

or for actively manipulating Google's algorithm using black hat SEO.

��Manual penalties, as opposed to algorithm penalties, are simple to discover and correct.

How to fix a manual Google penalty

There are various Google penalty checker tools accessible, but Google Search Console is also an option.

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What are the consequences of a Google penalty?

Any penalty results in a decrease in rank, however, the degree of the drop varies depending on the sort of penalty issued.

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As a result, none of the material on your website will displayed on Google.

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Google sanctions are in effect until they are removed.

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Check out this page on Google penalty recovery timelines for more information.

The top reasons for Google penalties and how to prevent them

Every company aims to be on the first page of Google to improve traffic to their website and, as a result, gain more clients.

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The most common penalties are listed below, as well as what you may do to avoid and/or correct them.

1. Thin content and doorway pages

This occurs when website owners prioritize quantity above quality SEO material, believing that more content equals more visitors.

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Don't completely outsource or try to mass-produce your material. Mass-produced material is never of high quality, and outsourcing can result in off-brand and incoherent content.

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Hide any material or links for the sake of SEO rather than user experience violates Google's Webmaster Rules.

Text and links can concealed in a variety of ways, including:

Increasing the text size to 0

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Using CSS to move text off-screen

Using the same colour as the backdrop for the links

How to prevent the hidden content penalty

To begin with, never do it on purpose.

If you have to hide something, it definitely shouldn't be on your page in the first place.

If you did not do this on purpose,

Go to your Search Console's URL inspection tab, type the affected pages into the search box, and then click "see crawled page."

You can look for any hidden links or CSS there.

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If you host a forum, allow guest articles, or allow comments on your blog, you may inundated with spam-bots or bad actors.

Spam links may lead to low-quality or inappropriate pages, undermining the T in EAT.

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Here are a few methods for preventing user-generated spam on your website and forum.

Tools for comment moderation

Disqus used by us to filter, remove, and block spammy comments.

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If you can't keep up with moderation, even with a plugin or tool, turn off commenting entirely.

Anti-spam tools

Spammers swarm your comment section with automated scripts.

Integrate Google re-CAPTCHA into your website to prevent spam comments.

No-follow and UGC attributes

If a guest poster or commentator adds an appropriate link but one with which you do not want to be linked, you can tag it to make it a no-follow link.

This stops Google from following those links off your page and passing link juice from your site to the linked site.

No-index meta tag

If you allow users to write articles on your site, you can mark such pages with a noindex meta tag.

This manner, the page will be accessible via your website but will not appear in search results or be factored into Google's ranking system.

4. Unnatural or poor links to your site

Google's Penguin algorithm upgrade in 2016 intended to detect artificial link creation.

Back-link building is an extremely efficient SEO approach for increasing page authority—

but only if the links originate naturally from high-quality sources.

How to prevent the unnatural link penalty

Of course, adopt a link-building approach that does not include:

Purchasing or selling links

Exchanges of links (Link my website and I will link to you)

Links to your forum profile and signature

Links to blog comments

Links to article directories

Building an excessive number of links in a short time

PBN hyperlinks

Perform regular back-link audits

Unintentionally, you may also receive spammy links to your website.

Analyze your back-link profile using Google Analytics, Search Console.

5. Keyword stuffing

On-page SEO, such as including keywords in the title, headings, body, meta description, and alt text, assists

Googlebot in determining the purpose of your website.

However, keyword stuffing on purpose is a black hat SEO strategy that will result in a Google penalty.

You're probably aware of what keyword stuffing in the body looks like, but you can also punished for keyword stuffing in the alt text.

6. Hacked website

If hackers obtain access to your website,

they can not only threaten the confidentiality, but also inject dangerous code, add irrelevant material, or redirect your site to malicious or spammy domains.

Your site's rating will plummet on all search queries, and Google may remove your entire website from search results as a result of this punishment.

How to prevent the hacked website penalty

There are various ways to improve the security of your website:

Maintain the integrity of your content management system.

Use strong passwords that you update regularly.

Use an SSL certificate.

Invest in good hosting.

To detect hacks, use a malware scanner tool.

Back up your website regularly.

To prevent brute force attacks, hide the login URL and limit the number of login attempts.

7. Abusing structured data mark-up

Structured data mark-up is a sort of coding that allows Google to present your site more beautifully in search results,

such as by displaying star ratings and the number of reviews.

However, if Google discovers that you are using structured data that is irrelevant to the content or users, you may be penalized manually.

How to prevent the structured data penalty

This is yet another penalty for black hat SEO. Here's what you should do:

Don't use phony reviews to boost your CTR. Follow these recommended methods for obtaining genuine Google evaluations.

Use structured data only when it makes sense for the information you're marking up.

Make certain that your mark-up material is visible to readers.

Add no schema mark-up relating to unlawful activity, violence, or any other forbidden content.

Conclusion

Google penalties, whether algorithmic or human, harm your ranking and traffic.

You can apply remedies to remove the penalty, however you may or may not recover your traffic and ranking.

That is why it is critical to do all possible to avoid them from happening in the first place.

You can contact Nummero Digital Marketing Agency in Bangalore.

#Google Penalties That Destroy Traffic and How to Avoid Them #digital marketing companies in bangalore

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arielsojourner · 7 years ago

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Vader Strikes Back - Part the Second

So again, not beta read/really rough/not really proof read and OUT of order. Not even sure any of these scenes will make it into any final story of any kind.

Just using Tumblr as a way to jump start the muse by writing out scenes that I may or may not use later.

Also spoilers for the original first story in AO3 Back From the Future: Episode VI The Clone Wars. Do NOT read this if you haven’t read that story since otherwise this will NOT make any sense.

If you want to read Part 1 and the Prologue, check the tag #vader strikes back on my page. Again I value feedback and ideas if you have any.

After the tenth body dropped, certain people started leaving Coruscant: human male natural born officers of the GAR, certain scientists, more than a few aids and lower ranking legislators and representatives and an exodus of Senators including Senator Orn Free Ta of Ryloth and Senator Sweitt Concorkill of Vurk. Oh, they all had excuses but nothing could disguise or hide the fear in their eyes.

They feared they would be next to die

Bail Organa was doing all he could to calm the public and hold the Republic together but it didn’t help that one of the key members of the Loyalist Committee, Senator Ta was fleeing Coruscant as if he feared his life would be taken next. That left Bail with limited allies and right now; he wasn’t even sure he could trust the Delegation of 2,000 with Senator Concorkill and Representative Nee Alavar fleeing the system.

If only Senator Amidala had not mysteriously left. They had been mere hours away from the vote to cease hostilities and start the peace process when everything had gone straight to hell. Bail was left to pick up the pieces and worst of all, it meant he was the one that the Jedi Order was calling upon now and he really didn’t have the time

“Master Yoda, Master Windu,” he greeted them perfunctorily. “Please forgive me, but I am due in the Senate in less than an hour.”

“Keep you long, we will not,” Master Yoda said walking slowly into Bail’s office. “Help we are offering.”

The Senator paused. “Help? What kind of help?”

“We believe we know who is behind the string of assassinations on Coruscant,” Master Windu explained.

Bail put down his datapad. “Master Jedi, I think every sentient in the galaxy knows who is is behind the assassinations.”

“Vader,” Yoda intoned.

“Vader,” Bail agreed. “What sort of help then is the Order offering? Do you know who is on his list of targets? Do you have the evidence supporting the crimes of his future targets? I admit that given the state of the Judiciary right now and how many people the Coruscant Guard have arrested, I am not sure the Senate is in any position to step in to deal with the situation.”

This seemed to stop both Jedi in their tracks. They shared a silent look. “Why would you think that the Order would have such evidence?” Mace asked sharply.

“Why wouldn’t you have knowledge of who he intends to kill next?” Bail asked, growing more confused as the conversation progressed.

“In support of his action, you believe the Order is? That his conduct, we sanction?”

“Vader defeated Palpatine. He was working with a Jedi Knight when he confronted the Sith Master, leading GAR troops. While I find Vader’s methods to be extreme, I have been privy to enough Senate Arms Committee briefings to know that harsher methods are sometimes necessary to deal with threats to the Republic. I thought they were working under the auspices of the Order and military authority when they uncovered who Palpatine truly was. Wait, are you now saying that’s not true? Are you saying the Order didn’t know?”

“Senator Organa, Vader is a Sith Lord. He didn’t save the Republic. He killed Chancellor Palpatine because that is how Sith take power. The student kills the master. He just happened to do it very publicly for reasons we cannot explain as of yet.”

Bail looked from one Jedi to another, in shock. “You’re joking,” he said flatly.

Yoda slammed his cane tip into the floor. “Joking we are not, Sith he is.”

“No, he’s not. He can’t be,” Bail argued. He stood and went to the holoscreen which showed multiple news feeds on mute, many of which were replaying Palpatine’s unmasking and subsequent death. “Have you watched the holovid of the fight? What they said to each other? He fought side by side with a Jedi Knight. Just because his lightsaber is red--”

“That boy was no Jedi,” Yoda says firmly.

“Senator, we do not need you to lecture us on who is or is not a Sith. Vader is a Sith Lord and he is planning to take over the Republic in a critical moment of weakness. The deaths are part of a larger plan to--”

“Master Windu,” Bail stopped him with a raised hand. “With all due respect, I admit to being a bit skeptical of the Order’s knowledge of who is or is not a Sith. You have just admitted to me that you didn’t even know that the Chancellor was the mastermind behind anything until after Vader and Luke confronted him on te Galactic Holonet!”

Yoda shook his head and began heading for the door. “Apprised of this situation, you seem to be. Leave you to your busy schedule, we will.”

“Wait, I have questions. The Senate needs to know--”

“The Order will take care of Vader,” Master Windu said with a shallow bow. “We will leave you to your work.

Bail watched them both leave, his mind traveling the speed of light. “What just happened here?” he asked the empty office aloud. “And what the hell is going on?”

Obi-Wan knows there was something that Anakin isn’t telling him and it isn’t just because Anakin still hasn’t said a word since Palpatine’s death. He isn’t blind. He’s raised the boy for over a decade and now and . . .

Well, all right. Perhaps he was a little unaware when it came to Anakin since he hadn’t known until very recently that his Padawan was actually legally married and now has children or that his relationship with Chancellor Palpatine was a toxic mess of dark influences that caused untold damage or that Anakin’s indomitable spirit on the battlefield covered up deep trauma.

Perhaps he is a lot unaware when he thought about it.

But be that as it may, his eyes are open now and he is paying attention and he isn’t just trying to ignore things going wrong with Anakin any longer, and clearly there is something else troubling him.

And worse still, Padme obviously knows what it is and she isn’t saying.

After several days of following them around the Lake House, waiting for one or both of them to confide in him, Obi-Wan finally confronts Padme. He has to give it to her, for all of his Jedi impassiveness, even he has never mastered her level of control. But this was Anakin and Obi-Wan isn’t going to give up so easily.

“The issue is Anakin is deeply troubled. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he is in . . . pain, grieving, actually grieving,” Obi-Wan says with growing astonishment, the realization of what he was seeing crystallizing and coming into focus as he spoke his thoughts aloud. “Both of you are. For whom? Not Palpatine?” he asks.

Padme scoffs openly, eyes flashing with fury. “Don’t be obscene. As if we would mourn him.”

“No, no, I’m sorry. You’re right,” he apologizes hurriedly. “But please, there is something. I can sense it. Neither of you are sleeping. He won’t let the twins out of his sight. Just tell me. I can help. I want to help.”

“Have you been watching the holo news lately?”

Obi-Wan shakes his head. No, he hasn’t. It had been showing nothing but the death of Palpatine on repeat. He had no desire to see the vid and be reminded of literally trying to hold onto Anakin to keep him from Falling.

She purses her lips together and is silent for a long movement. “You should watch it.”

Obi-Wan takes her advice and watches the vid from start to finish.

He wishes he hadn’t because somehow, in some way that makes no sense, all he sees on the holoscreen is Anakin.

Anakin is fighting a Sith Master.

Anakin is throwing himself out of a window to protect his son, Luke.

Anakin is suffering under an attack of Sith lightning.

Anakin is wielding a red lightsaber using Djem So forms that Anakin had modified from Form V.

Obi-Wan buries his head in his hands, wishing he could unsee what he has seen, forget what he now knows.

(“Sidious cares for nothing but himself and the Rule of Two. To finally accomplish his goals he has only ever really lacked one thing, a true apprentice,” Dooku had said.)

Not Anakin, oh Force please, not Anakin. It can’t be. Obi-Wan is just tired. He’s seeing things that are not there. The stress of the past three years is obviously affecting him. His mind is playing tricks. There is no way, just no way that this can be real.

(”“We've seen your future. We don’t want it,” Luke says fiercely to Palpatine as the vid repeats. “You have nothing we want.”

“Don’t I?” the Chancellor says with a vicious smile. “You hate me, you both do. The hate is welling in you now. Why pretend? You think the Order will accept you? You are nothing more than a heretic, a poorly trained tainted novice who they will shun at best, hunt down at worst. And you, a Sith Lord-- there is no future for you without me. Join me and together we will rule the galaxy as it was meant to be ruled!”)

Anakin is a Sith Lord. Even entombed in a monstrous black shell, masked from the world, even torn out of some other horrible time, Sidious recognizes one of his own.

(On the holoscreen, Vader presses his blade forward and spits back at Palpatine, “I will never join you!”)

Obi-Wan waves his hand and the screen goes dark.He’s offered Padme his help. He’s sworn to Anakin that day at 500 Republica that he would stay with him and make it all right. But this is too much, this is too big. He can’t possibly--

(“He is your brother!? Your Chosen One!? He's supposed to SAVE you and your wretched Order?! YOU LOVE HIM?!” Vader screamed at him.)

He touches his throat gingerly.

Liar, Vader called him.

Later, Obi-Wan had promised himself over and over again over the past few years, pushing aside his guilt. Later, he would have time to really talk and help Anakin.

No, Obi-Wan decides. He is no liar. He will keep his promise and make things right. If Vader could do it, (and how horrible must the future have been for one lost to the Dark to find a way to save the entire galaxy?) then so could he.

He stands and goes to find his Padawan.

#luke and vader save the galaxy #vader strikes back #star wars #prequels

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closetofanxiety · 8 years ago

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Show review: THE ULTIMATE THRILL RIDE

Epic clashes on the grandest stage of them all! Surprise returns from beloved figures! Title changes! And VIDEO PACKAGE AFTER VIDEO PACKAGE AFTER VIDEO PACKAGE! Let’s look back at Wrestlemania 33: Orlando Furioso!

Neville def. Austin Aries via pinfall

I didn’t see this match. I missed most of the pre-show, to be honest. I really watched too much wrestling over the long weekend. I went for a walk instead, actually three separate walks on Sunday. It’s the first nice day we’ve had all year here in southern New England, and I took full advantage of it. I mean, it fucking snowed on Friday and Saturday. So, anyway, Neville won. The cruiserweight division is full of talented men with almost zero connection to the audience. It’s only a matter of time before there’s another Swoggle winning the title and it gets retired again. There will be a lot of blame to hand out then, but I’ll blame Vince. It’s usually a safe bet.

Mojo Rawley wins the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Rawley joins Cesaro, Big Show, and Baron Corbin in the winners’ circle of this particular honor, although unlike them, he needed an assist from New England Patriots tight end and human game of beer pong Rob Gronkowski in order to win. I missed almost all of this, because after my third walk of the day I went to Starbucks. You have to give yourself little gifts. It helps keep you normal. That’s my advice, although why anyone would take life advice from me is a mystery. I mean, I’m not living in a refrigerator carton or anything, but I’m exactly the kind of person who might as well not exist at all. Much like this battle royal, in fact, crowded as it was with wrestlers for whom no storyline or narrative currently exists: Sami Zayn and Dolph Ziggler tossed in among lower-midcard-for-lifers like Curtis Axel and Epico. What a fate. What a bleak way to further the preshow, which is really just “the show” when you think about it.

Dean Ambrose (c) defeats Baron Corbin via pinfall to retain the WWE Intercontinental Championship

I did watch this perfectly serviceable matchup that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the first hour of a fair-to-middling Smackdown episode. The Intercontinental Championship is almost an insult at this point. The WWE giving you this belt is like your boss putting you on a performance improvement plan at work. It’s to “enhance your capabilities” but it’s like a dunce cap. This was defended on the pre-show, on free TV: the USA Network broadcast it before the start of Wrestlemania proper. Honestly, Epico had a less humiliating day. Rating: Two Ultimate Thrill Rides.

AJ Styles defeats Shane McMahon via pinfall

This was a pretty good match, I guess, although the thing I liked best was the ref bump: AJ Styles really looked like he kicked Mike Chioda square in the fucking head. That was beautiful. Occasionally you’ll see a ref bump where the official basically gets lightly jostled and then pretends to be out cold for two minutes, but this was a ref bump you could put your full faith and credit in. Good ref bump. Anyway, a good match. I saw people online saying “Match of the Year,” which I guess is indicative of the environment of Plaudit Inflation in which we’re currently living. This will almost certainly be the best match of the year to feature Shane McMahon. But I’m tired of the McMahon family in general, and sick of seeing them on TV. AJ Styles should have been in the main event, not the curtain-jerker. Still. At least they haven’t put the Intercontinental Championship on him yet. Kiss of death. Rating: Three Ultimate Thrill Rides.

Kevin Owens defeats Chris Jericho (c) by pinfall to win the United States Championship

A solid match here, although it lacked the raw emotion of Owens’ best matches, and the extra spark of brutality you’d expect from a match that was ostensibly the culmination of a bitter falling out between two “best friends.” This story was all about the buildup, with the blowoff leaving a little something to be desired. A fine match, though, perfectly acceptable as a Raw main event. If that’s damning with faint praise, it’s because I expect a lot from these guys, who are two of the very best. This was better than Jericho’s lackluster match with AJ Styles at last year’s Wrestlemania. Faint praise again, I guess. Rating: Two and a half Ultimate Thrill Rides.

Fatal Four-Way Elimination Match: Bayley (c) defeats Nia Jax, Charlotte Flair, and Sasha Banks to retain the Raw Women’s Championship

They got rid of Nia early, which was crucial. Nia can’t do very much inside a wrestling ring. From that point, the big expectation was for Sasha Banks to turn heel and betray her weird hug-prone friend Bayley, a possibility they had been advancing on commentary for weeks, but it didn’t happen. Instead, Charlotte pinned Sasha, somewhat unexpectedly, sucking the air out of the arena. Bayley won with a flying elbow from the top rope in tribute to Macho Man. I buy that Sasha was a huge Eddie Guerrero fan as a kid, but Bayley’s supposed childhood love of Randy Savage is puzzling to me. She was born in 1989, how much Macho Madness was there really from the mid-1990s onward? Were there a lot of kids in like the year 2000 saying “I want to be just like ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage”? Maybe there were. I was not a kid by then, so I didn’t spend a lot of time talking to kids about their favorite wrestlers. But when I was a kid I liked Savage a lot. I seem to have wandered from this match, which had its moments but was kind of lackluster. Rating: Two Ultimate Thrill Rides.

Fatal Four-Way Ladders Match: The Hardy Boys defeat The Club (c), Enzo Amore & Big Cass, and Sheamus and Cesaro to win the Raw Tag Team Championships

Big surprise return from Team Extreme! Listen, I’m never going to adopt the WWE spelling convention that insists we identify them as the Hardy “Boyz.” First of all, the mid-1990s are over. Second of all, they are grizzled middle-aged men. It was fun to see them back. Genuine pop from everyone watching at my house. I’m not sure how much of the “Broken” gimmick they’re going to be able to do; Kevin Dunn hurriedly cut the cameras away from Matt as he was doing the “delete” thing, but that could be standard Kevin Dunn incompetence. Anyway, this match was fun, with a truly insane Jeff Hardy Swanton Bomb from the top of the ladder capping it off. Astonishing to think they had a ladder match for the Ring of Honor tag team belts just the night before this. Them North Carolina boys are tough, I’ll tell you what. I have gripes and grimaces to share about this kind of thing overall, but for now it’s fun to see these dudes back in the WWE for the first time since 2009. And I’m relieved Enzo and Cass didn’t win the titles. God, I am tired of them. Rating: Three and a half Ultimate Thrill Rides.

John Cena and Nikki Bella defeat the Miz and Maryse via pinfall

This was a weirdly lowkey match, most of it focused on the Miz working over Cena with brawling-type offense, until the Queen of Strong Style Nikki Bella got the hot tag AND CLEANED FUCKING HOUSE, hitting a sick tope suicida on the Miz and whaling on Maryse. Maryse basically did nothing in this match. Mike Chioda took more bumps than Maryse during Wrestlemania. Anyway, the real winners of this match were you and I, because we got to see John Cena propose to Nikki Bella (he used her real name, EXPOSING THE BUSINESS!!!) in the ring. Cena actually sounded like a human being during this segment; it was very sweet and came across well. Some people booed. You’re going to boo love, my friends? If so, for what will you cheer? Rating: Three Ultimate Thrill Rides for the match, Seven Ultimate Thrill Rides for the proposal.

Non-Sanctioned Match: Seth Rollins defeats Triple H via pinfall

I love a good non-sanctioned match. What a weird holdover term from the territory days. What body are we to believe “sanctions” matches, and is it different from the body that permits a “non-sanctioned” match to be televised to a worldwide audience? This was also very old school in terms of the match itself, which was focused almost entirely on Seth Rollins’ ailing knee. The crowd was very quiet for this perhaps, despite the insistence of Jim Cornette et al, people don’t really want to watch old-school wrestling matches in 2017. It was OK, but it felt very slow. Rollins won, which was the right decision. Stephanie got knocked through a table, prompting the biggest pop of the match. The best part for me was Triple H’s hilarious entrance, where he came down the ramp AS A BAD-ASS BIKER ON HIS BAD-ASS THREE-WHEELED MOTORCYCLE surrounded by indie wrestlers dressed as highway patrolmen, also riding motorcycles. One of the great visual flourishes of the territory days was the spectacle of the hated villain being led to the ring by a phalanx of stone-faced Southern cops protecting the wrestler from enraged fans, a scene that sent the unmistakable message This Is For Real (even though it was obviously not), one of those sweaty, smoky aspects of wrestling that’s lost forever. Triple H, weirdly sentimental about wrestling history, tried to revive that aura of county civic center danger, and it came across like a campy musical version of “CHIPs.” I loved it. Rating: Two and a half Ultimate Thrill Rides.

Randy Orton defeats Bray Wyatt (c) via pinfall to win the WWE Championship

I had been pretty excited for this match, but it felt weirdly truncated, with a truly abrupt finish. They were running long (the goddamn show ended at midnight) so maybe these guys were told to keep it short. One thing that kept happening is that every time Bray would do his Exorcist bend-over-backwards thing, the lights would dim and images of giant worms, maggots, and cockroaches would appear on the ring canvas, apparently because Bray was possessed by his late sister, Abigail. “He’s channeling the full power of Sister Abigail now!” JBL yelled, referring to an imaginary ghost. Even the power of an imaginary ghost was not enough to prevent Randy Orton from hitting his finisher “out of nowhere,” but actually out of somewhere: out of the midst of a rushed, unsatisfying match. Rating: Two Ultimate Thrill Rides.

Brock Lesnar defeats Goldberg (c) via pinfall to win the Universal Championship

This was a fucking blast. I was a total skeptic coming into this, but they did it just right: five minutes of these two big boys pulling out the crowd-pleasingest parts of their arsenals, German suplay after German suplay after German suplay from Brock, verses spear upon spear from Big Bill. It was like watching two rhinoceroses collide on the savanna and fight over rights to a watering hole. Magnificent and brutal. Big Bill threw himself around that ring with abandon, including maybe the best “Oops I missed the spear now I’m hitting the ring post” spot I’ve ever seen on a WWE show. Good for Big Bill. Good for Bork, who is now the indifferent holder of a championship belt. This was fun. I have not liked much of the Goldberg stuff, but this was fun. Rating: Four Ultimate Thrill Rides.

Naomi defeats Alexa Bliss (c), Carmella w/James Ellsworth, Becky Lynch, Mickie James, and Natalya to win the Smackdown Women’s Championship

This was in the Death Spot between the Bork-Bill showdown and the main event, and the crowd was not overly hyped. There was also an abortive Pittbull concert at some point. Maybe prior to Bork-Bill? Anyway, this match was kind of a cluster, with a lot of disconnected action and a vibe of being made up on the fly. My favorite part was when Becky Lynch - sporting truly abominable dreadlocks for some reason - hit Ellsworth with an exploder suplex. The rest was meh. Mickie James had #Problematic ring gear, unless she’s Native American (she may be). Alexa Bliss was good in her role as despicable brat-fetish heel. Naomi, the hometown girl, won via submission. Rating: Two Ultimate Thrill Rides.

Main Event: Roman Reigns defeats the Undertaker via pinfall

Maybe the best part of this match is that they brought Jim Ross down to do commentary on it, indicating it was almost certainly the last Undertaker match. The match itself was about as good as it was going to be: Roman is a really good wrestler, but the Undertaker is 52 years old and long past the point of keeping up in a wrestling ring. He tried hard. Lots of kickouts of finishers, etc. The drama felt forced, honestly, as did the whole buildup, like at some point in February they just decided they were going to have the Undertaker fight Reigns and then even later said, “Hey, this is it for ol’ Taker.” After he lost, Taker took an extended curtain call, which was nice. I have never been a fan of the Undertaker as a performer, but his popularity and contributions are undeniable. Rating: Two Ultimate Thrill Rides.

#Wrestlemania 33 #Wrestlemania #show reviews

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