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void-botanist · 2 years ago

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My Year of Writing

After reading @theskeletonprior's review, I thought I would write one of my own. Original prompt by @maguayans (whose blog theme on desktop is excellent for writeblr and might be something I borrow).

Part 1: Spotify Wrapped version

This year was all about The Fourth Android and bringing it from a half-baked rewrite of an older story to something edible. To that end, I wrote 158,587 words:

30,000 for Camp NaNo in April

30,209 for Camp NaNo in July

50,363 for NaNo 2022, plus

18,013 for a May goal and

30,002 for a June goal.

I archived a lot of those words as I iterated, though, and my current draft is sitting at 43,278 words right now.

Obviously Dez was on my mind the whole time but I also invented a ton of new characters as I fleshed out species concepts and the cultural geography of the world. I also frequently got distracted with other stories in this world and started writing extra scenes about characters who had captured my attention, several of whom are on Dez's future space crew.

My Spotify Wrapped was boring. It pretty much just said "hey you got real into pop this year. We probably classed all the 80s rock and 00s indie you listened to as 'nostalgia', which is silly. Also you still listen to a ton of Approaching Nirvana, like you're in the top 0.5% of listeners". If you want my recommendations, go listen to Wreck of the Day (the song or the album or both) by Anna Nalick, and literally anything by Approaching Nirvana (but I have probably listened to the albums Cinematic Soundscapes Vol. 1 and Illusions the most). Also go (re)appreciate that 38 Special and Fitz and the Tantrums are bands that exist.

Part 2: A More Detailed Review

General

This year I continued working toward improvement, in both my writing and art.

With writing, that looked like getting more invested in planning and analyzing my own work. I finally accepted that the typical plot charts I find don't make sense to me when I try to use them, and not because I'm trying to make my stories Special (TM). Something just doesn't connect for me, and that's okay. That's not the only way to get plot structure. Instead I spent a while figuring out how to use Scrivener to outline in a way that works for me. I also tried to apply my own media analyses and those of YouTubers like Princess Weekes, La'Ron Readus, Jessie Gender, NerdSync, and James Somerton to my own work, to consider what works and what might not.

With art, that looked like learning more tools and tricks in Clip Studio Paint and Procreate, changing my settings to help me not mess up my arm constantly (adjusting my pressure curve!), and drawing at a higher resolution. I cannot stress enough how much of a difference that has made in the way my work looks and how it feels to edit it. I tend to draw small, so I'd never thought about it much, but wow everything is so smooth now. I've also been working on accepting that the imperfections in my work don't make it bad, and that being a slow and indecisive artist is also fine. angrymikko, Nadiaxel, and Chroma Moma on YouTube have been super helpful to me as I try new styles and ways of working and just having fun with my art. ronillust also makes delightful art memes and some tutorials.

P.S. if you're on desktop and you despise the format of YouTube's Shorts page, you can play Shorts as regular videos by changing the "shorts" portion of the URL to "watch". You can also set up Redirector to do this automatically (I wrote a tutorial for this on my main blog).

Writeblr

I was so much more active on writeblr this year, especially during the last few months. I followed a ton of other writers (I won't list them all here but I've been trying to reblog from them to make sure people are also aware of them) and started posting some excerpts of my own work and participating in ask/tag games. I'm having a very good time so far. Please feel free to tag me liberally in future games and prompts!

WIPs

I started working on The Fourth Android after I lost NaNoWriMo 2021, where I was working on Triad and I ran out of steam after about 28k words. On the last day of NaNo I just sprinted some stuff about Zel and Anni and a fledgling form of TFA in which Zel is a journalist and Anni teams up with her to locate Dez, who has absconded over some misunderstanding. Then I thought, what if I just worked on this? So I did. Triad is still going to happen, but it needs a lot of restructuring to work properly.

As always, my writing went from high angst to low angst as I developed that first TFA concept further, which I think speaks to how I just like stories about people being friends. Which is, you know, a pretty broad qualifier, but I find that even in stories with high stakes and high drama the thing I find most delightful is friendship dynamics (can you tell I'm thinking about Hunter x Hunter as I write this? I got kinda into that too). A lot of my thinking about character arcs has been related to "how is this friendship interesting?" and the cultural worldbuilding I've been doing is going to help me explore some of those dynamics. (This also applies to romantic couples, not least because friends to lovers is the only thing that seems to work for me in my writing.)

Books and Other Things I Consumed

I read a fair bit this year, especially compared to the last couple years (I'm actually pretty proud of this because I read maybe 2 books in all of 2019 and 2020 and only got back into reading last year). Like Harrowben, I've starred my favorites.

*The Expanse series 4-7 by James S. A. Corey (4, Cibola Burn, was a particular favorite just because I love stories set on alien planets. Overall I think The Expanse could use more theys and gays, but I'm pretty happy with it)

I, Robot by Isaac Asimov (I enjoyed how clever this one was, and also it has robots. For some strange reason I have become incredibly interested in robot stories)

Artemis by Andy Weir (honestly I think about this one a lot. I think it had some of Weir's character writing flaws as seen in The Martian but the worldbuilding was pretty compelling and I'm a sucker for epistolary bits)

*Fearless by Shira Glassman (a wonderful quick read about snowstorms and lesbian moms. I also bought several of Shira's other books but haven't read them yet)

*Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao (I rarely buy books in physical form anymore but I did buy this one after I read it. Superb. Waiting for the sequel)

Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki (I enjoyed this one a lot. I can definitely understand the criticisms, and the formatting was kinda weird. But on some level I felt like I was reading something that was in my own genre)

Currently reading

The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes by Cat Sebastian (the sequel to The Queer Principles of Kit Webb. It's just a super fun read)

Finlay Donovan Knocks 'Em Dead by Elle Cosimano (the sequel to Finlay Donovan is Killing It. Honestly disappointed in this one, especially compared to the first book. There are some excellent moments but there are also a lot of things that don't really seem to make sense, and I'm very frustrated with the romance part of it)

Tiamat's Wrath (The Expanse book 8) by James S. A. Corey

Books I started and plan to finish (I often put down books because they're not what I want right at that moment)

Xeni by Rebekah Weatherspoon

Mrs. Martin's Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan

The Doctor's Discretion by E. E. Ottoman

Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Prelude to Foundation by Isaac Asimov

Murmuration by T. J. Klune

I won't list out all the shows I watched but I do think that Hunter x Hunter, Exception (the Netflix anime), Mob Psycho 100, and Cyberpunk: Edgerunners have all influenced the way I think about my writing and to some extent my art (seriously the color and visual storytelling choices of Edgerunners are so interesting and cool). In video games, the environment design of Hades, Risk of Rain 2's Survivors of the Void expansion, and Slime Rancher 2 really fascinated me, and I spent a ton of time using Sims 4 to build places that exist in TFA to better visualize them. (I really want a game that is just Sims 4 build mode, but with more detailed building capabilities and endless building space. I just installed Sweet Home 3D, which might do it for me.)

Here's to another year of writeblring and creating. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the stuff I mentioned above (especially Exception if you've seen it), and/or your recommendations for anything but especially cool stories about robots/androids/gays/theys.

#writing #art #writeblr #ayearofwriting #wip #to read #wip: tfa #wip: triad #wizardly things

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boop-le-snoot · 4 years ago

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PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 1

Rating: Explicit. 18+

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Bad girls are sad girls! Always wondered what goes through the mind of a spoiled, rich but intelligent and perceptive teenager? Have you found yourself craving that adrenaline rush, the danger of a forbidden fruit? Okay. That was cheesy as hell. Gross.

Let's try again. Sarcasm? Check. Vine references? Hell yes! Crude humour? Check. Blunt honesty? Double check. We're living in a Lana del Rey song, ladies.

The author doesn't actually condone codependent relationships in real life. This is a filthy little fantasy. Enjoy, deviants.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She deserves all the love 💙

Pining. I was pining after Stark and it made me upset. I thought I was better than that. Better than acting the part of a lovesick puppy, begging for scraps of attention- a kind word, a pat on the shoulder, a blanket thrown over me in my sleep. Even if he was my Mount Olympus, I wasn't exactly on board with starting the whole damn journey in the first place.

Most of all, I hated being a cliché. I tried my best to avoid showing how I felt and with time, I think I excelled at it. I am really good with things if I really put my mind to it. Was it a blessing, or was it a curse? Only the future will tell. I try not to think about it, as I prefer not to stress out too much. Peter was the anxious kid and I was the calm one. I was the Ying to his Yang. He flipped his shit often and I always calmed him down and cleaned up after him. No complaints there, Pete is pure and precious and I would kill everybody and then myself if he actually got hurt.

I'm only a year older than him and that year feels like an uncrossable bridge to me. We get along like a house on fire and I delight in the way he starts smiling when we're paired together for a project. Deep inside I'm sure he thinks of me as one of his best friends, his homies but-and there's always a but-I can't reciprocitate that. He goes to decathlon after school with his wholesome BFF duo, I go to a local dive bar with a fake ID I'd made sometime when I was about 15.

Peter has everything I wish I've ever had. Good for him. I'm not going to mess that up, no matter how much my angst demands I throw a tantrum and become, like, a supervillain or something.

I banter, instead. I chit-chat. I laugh and I repeatedly make a joke out of myself. Nobody suspects a thing, and I'm not surprised. People always see what they want to see. I've been the weird loner since middle school. Not the sad kind, of course, my pride wouldn't let me. I'm too good at things to be completely ignored. Teachers adore me, the event planning committee approaches me every year with tentative pleas for advice. The list goes on and on; what they don't understand is that it's just High School. Another year and I'll be out of there and nobody will be wiser.

I feel like a liar every time I'm excited. Because I'm not that - I don't care about their stupid field trips or collaborative projects. My mind is five steps and two hops ahead of that bullshit. It has to be or I just won't make it in the world.

"Parker-pen, Mr. Stark. G'day, sirs," I nodded, entering the lab, looking straight ahead. They both were hunched over... Something vaguely mechanical and I was terribly, horribly hungover. Saturday night was Science night but I'd gone to bed around 2PM after a party ran way too late.

"Hi," and "Powerpuff girl," came from them respectively, and they didn't even lift their heads.

I wondered if I could just skedaddle and leave them to their big brain time. "Is this a bad time? I can come tomorrow instead," I immediately regretted speaking, even to my own ears my voice sounds scratchy.

"No, actually, Dr. Ban-Bruce-wanted to talk to you," Peter mumbled out half-coherently. Tony kept ignoring me and I was fine with that. The less temptation I have the less trouble there will be.

"I'm not playing with his zucchini again," I groaned, causing the intricate pile of metal to squeak sadly as Pete tripped over his own damn body, jostling the prototype in the process. I could have sworn the room got several degrees hotter from the boy's blush alone.

Tony cackled, shuffling away from the newly ruined prototype. "He won the damn contest, you should've seen the judges faces," The engineer's grin threatened to split his face in half. I poked at my phone in muted interest. "Hold up, Friday has a recording. I definitely recorded the thing."

A holo-screen popped up. Tranquil scenes of a local fair, gourds and other assorted vegetables of various grotesque sizes were scattered throughout the square. An unmistakable mop of curly greying hair posed proudly next to a zucchini half the size of Hulk - I was fairly certain genetically engineering the plant was cheating and warned him so but somehow Banner managed to persuade the judges into letting him participate, and ultimately win, the competition for the Biggest Zucchini. Some of them were quite shocked at the size of that thing and well - well, their glances were quite contemplative to say the least.

"Damn, Tony, that blonde chick's face tells me all I need to know," I gave a lopsided smirk in the engineer's general direction. That was our thing, you see? He called me these ridiculous cutesy nicknames and asked me about getting my nails done or going to the mall and I'd make salacious comments and go on an occasional flirtatious spree. That was comfortable. We both enjoyed making Peter blush and giggle like the little schoolboy that he was.

"Our Brucie bear is a freak, don't let him tell you any different, Princess," Tony winked at me.

"Oh, I know all about it, Tones," I suggestively wiggled my eyebrows. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Peter groan and palm his face. I briefly bumped my knuckles to Tony's outstretched hand and made my way to the adjacent lab that hosted the second resident crazy scientist.

"Bruce?"

"Oh, hi there, come on in," He smiled warmly at me and I relaxed, shrugging off the tension in my limbs that seemed to appear every time Tony was around me. Banner's soft, friendly nature always made me feel welcomed and appreciated.

We made small talk as I threw on a lab coat and some protective glasses and discarded my bag in the far corner, away from any possible explosions. I congratulated him on his recent victory - here is when I say that despite what most will say, Banner has a serious competitive mean streak and isn't afraid to get down and dirty when it comes to matters of his personal pride.

That's what makes us alike, I think. I have too much dignity and self-respect to walk around Tony with stars in my eyes and hang around his neck like yesterday's tie.

The quiet, even pace of doing lab work made me completely lose track of time. Some time passed as I felt the crick in my neck become noticeable, and the deep ache in my calves from standing and dancing yesterday worsened. I hopped onto the nearest table, hunched over a tablet, eyes skimming over research articles - most of it didn't register at all in the wake of a dull throb behind my temples. My hair limply hung over my face - I had to wash it to get rid of the stench-hard liquor and cigarettes - but I was way too lazy to style it properly.

I ignored the swaying strands until a large palm gently tucked them behind my ear, a white lab coat coming into my field of view. "You okay?" Banner's quiet voice interrupted my reading. I lifted eyes enough to see he was wearing a dorky button-up in some gross shade of blue under the lab coat. His eyes were affectionate behind thinly rimmed glasses.

"Rough Friday night?" He questioned.

I chuckled. "Yeah, I'm hungover as fuck." There was no point in hiding the obvious; I'm sure the bags under my eyes already had tattled on me.

He chuckled, too, leaning his hip against the table, one broad arm coming to wrap around me in a hug. Usually he wasn't so touchy-feely; but I wasn't complaining. Banner was really, really warm. "I'll spare you the lecture on underage drinking," He said with another chuckle.

"Yeah, it's pretty pointless. You'd be three years too late."

A deep sigh left him, both of his arms wrapping around me in a comfortable embrace. I rested my chin on his shoulder, trying my best to really avoid showing how touch-starved I was. I was a hundred percent sure they all figured out my family life was difficult; the last thing I needed was their pity.

"Y'know, we should sit down and talk someday," He said after a brief moment of hesitation. "About your future. College, maybe?"

I gave a non-committal hum, basking in the warmth of the hug, staring straight ahead with unseeing eyes - behind the glass divide, I could faintly distinguish Tony's and Peter's shapes, still bent over that bench the pile of metal.

"You have a lot of potential," Banner continued, his tone developing a gently admonishing hint. "I understand if you want to take some time off from your studies but I'd rather you succeed and not let all that potential go to waste," He finished, patting me on the back with a gentle hand.

I tried not to preen under his touch. "Are you attempting to guilt-trip me over a party, doctor Banner?" I teased him, expecting the smile that I felt being hidden by my hair. Sometimes I felt that I could read the man like an open book, he was so earnest about his interactions.

"I just - we want you to stay safe, okay? Don't blow your future for a little bit of fun," He shrugged carefully.

"Okay, Bruce," I simply replied, meaning it this time

He kept hugging me, running his hand over my back absentmindedly. Probably thinking about his recent science bender. I wasn't upset: my own brain tended to get tangled in personal projects, too. I had only one complaint and it was that the cuddle was making me sleepy.

I yawned, startling the man. Pulling away from the hug wasn't really an option. He was broad and quite strong, probably courtesy of the Hulk and radiation in his blood.

"Why don't we put you in a guest room for tonight?" He inquired and I nodded. "Call your parents for me, okay?"

"My mother is in Vancouver for the week and I doubt she would care anyway," I rolled my eyes. "She's in the middle of some shitstorm with OsCorp and their marketing department." If anything, I was grateful my mother was preoccupied with her job. Being around her was like hanging out on top of an iceberg in the far end of the ocean.

I felt Bruce's frown. His body tensed briefly, blink and you'll miss the hunch of his shoulders. "What about your dad?"

I cringed. "He's been in Ibiza since the season opened, no doubt snorting miles of coke and... " I hesitated. "You can guess the rest."

My dad was kind of a dick, but I don't blame him at all for being the way he is. My parents have been married for twenty years. They were happy, once - I saw their college pictures with my mother's bright smiles and bushy hair, and my dad's terrible fashion sense and their dog, a funny little runt with an atrocious name. Then mother had me and for a while, they were happy too, but it lasted about until she landed her first prospective job. Kind of cliché.

Bruce sighed again. "Okay. You hungry?"

"No, I'm not going near food until tomorrow. Nu-uh," I fake-retched next to his ear, making Bruce shiver and playfully pinch my side.

"It'll help with your hangover. Doctor's advice."

"You're not even that kind of doctor," I laughed, very gently poking him back, somewhere around his stomach. He squirmed.

"I have seven PhDs," Bruce smiled as he rested his chin on top of my head as he adjusted his torso to prevent my fingers from reaching his ticklish spots. I poked him again in retaliation, fully enjoying the snort and squirm I caused. Soft™. "Let's go get you settled in," Bruce, seemingly without any difficulty, picked me up, propping me against his hip like a toddler. It probably looked awkward but what the hell, I haven't been carried around since I can remember myself. My legs wrapped around his hips for balance, butt resting on his forearm.

"You're a showoff," I couldn't help but snort, getting a lopsided smirk in return.

He made his way over to the elevator with me dangling and examining my nails in an expectant fashion. Tony's jokes aside, I really enjoyed getting them done and weird colors were a quest of entertainment for me. I obviously couldn't have them very long because I worked in a lab so I chose outrageous prints and decorations instead. This week, each of my nails had a different style - thankfully my aesthetician was professional enough to make it look somewhat put together even if it took a good chunk of my allowance and an hour long Uber ride to get to her salon.

I noticed the dimmed lights in Tony's lab and none of Peter's usual mess scattered on the tables, figuring he'd already left. Stark himself stood propped against a table, watching something, smoothie in hand.

For only a brief moment, I let my eyes rake over his body, his beautiful, sculpted physique hugged by a pair of fitted jeans and an old Led Zeppelin tee. Tony's handsomeness wasn't obvious, it wasn't in-your-face kind of appearance like Captain America's, but the engineer was built sturdy and his arms - the only bare part of him - were riddled with scars. He used his strong, bulky body for work.

I turned away before I got too ahead of myself. Bruce smelled like lab equipment and rubbing alcohol, something that made me sober up and snap out of my daydream before Stark took notice and started teasing me about ogling him. My once-over lasted barely three seconds yet with Tony's genius, I always had to be on my toes.

I saw movement in my peripheral. Banner waved before entering the elevator - at Tony, probably, so I looked back, seeing the man watching us, content replaced with a contemplating frown. I waved at him, resting my cheek on Bruce's shoulder. "Tony's having a big mood," I noted quietly in the scientist's ear.

"You know Tony," Bruce sighed, adjusting his hold on me as the car ascended to the housing floors. "His brain runs a mile a minute and he can't make sense of it for the biggest part. Give him some time and he'll be back to his annoying self."

I didn't see Tony as annoying in any way, but then again, I was severely biased. The billionaire was quirky venturing into absurd but also clever and brilliant.

We had reached our destination and Bruce carefully set me down on my feet once the door to my room was open. A large queen bed, TV and another door to an adjacent bathroom. It was really simple but luxurious nonetheless - I had the exact same carpet at home, having heard my mother bitch about it's cost after seeing me spill soda on it way too many times.

"I'll let you get settled in. Ask Friday if you need something," Bruce awkwardly shuffled his feet, taking off his glasses and briefly examining them before putting them back on again. "Breakfast here is on the 74th floor starting around 7AM, someone will probably get you around nine if you sleep in," He finished, giving a shy tilt of his lips.

"Thanks, Brucie-bear," The nickname easily slipped from my lips. I didn't resist the urge to hug the kind scientist, quickly wrapping my arms around his middle, delightfully sighing when he immediately returned the gesture.

"Good night, Princess," I had to suppress a happy squeak when the man kissed my forehead before retreating and closing the door behind himself. A quick shower and a quest to find a power outlet to plug my charger into preceded my less than graceful flop into the bed. It felt like sleeping on a cloud, honestly, it had nothing on my mother's orthopaedic memory foam mattresses. I passed out faster than I’d ever had.

#Bun writes #party favours #Tony Stark x y/n #Tony Stark x reader #Bruce Banner x reader #Bruce Banner x y/n #Stephen Strange x reader #Stephen Strange x y/n #We're going to Hell y'all

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akvtsuki-ari · 5 years ago

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Sweetheart (Ch.1)

Warnings: Mentions of BDSM and bunch of other kinks but nothing sexual in this chapter lol. Sub!Spencer and Femdom!Reader

Length: 5.3k

Authors Note: this is hands down the most self-indulgent shit ive ever wrote but do i care? the answer is no dsjk but this that series i had planned where the reader introduces spencer to proper BDSM and all that. hoping to make this fic kinda informative also lol. also im uploading this fic on ao3 as well. also no tags for this fic bc its really specific and ill probably be writing for it for a while! sorry about that

Plot Summary: Spencer Reid just wanted to be.., well, you know. He doesn’t expect to find much when he signs up for a BDSM dating website but somehow he manages you and he couldn’t be more delighted

Spencer Reid was certainly a lot of things. He was a lover of the arts, someone who had a particular affinity for 15th-century literature, a magician at best, a theater nerd at worst, and a teacher when life called for it. He loves the world even when it's really dark and he loves sleeping in even more. He loves his friends and they love him too - even when they pretend that his random facts annoy them. Spencer Reid was a friend, an FBI agent, a genius with an IQ of 187, and a son to a mother he loves wholly. He was a lot of things and for the most part - he knew a lot about what he really loved to do. He supposed that it's been like that his whole life.

It's not everyday that he discovers something new about himself. About everything else? Always. He loves to learn, but about himself? There's never all that much on the frontier.

It's hard to say, because of that, when Spencer discovered he was a sub. It's difficult to pinpoint a specific time and place, or even how the pieces got put together. He just remembers how it felt when it hit him, like a freight train going 100 miles an hour into a concrete wall. Or a plane crashing onto an island. Or like a fly hitting the glass panes of a delivery truck. He remembers the feeling when he was deftly reminded of this fact. Spencer Reid was a sub - through and through and he wasn't really sure what to make of it.

Surprisingly to most of his direct peers, Spencer wasn't a virgin. He'd had sex with 2 people who he'd been kinda friends with at some point, but it always got a little weird after that. The second time though, the girl ended up choking him a little bit when she got off and Spencer thought he had died. Not in a bad way, more in a "I'm so turned on by this I feel like I've genuinely gone to heaven," sort of way. He didn't think it was possible for a sexual encounter to make him feel like that but it did. It didn't stop after that either, which was the most agitating part.

Spencer doesn't consider himself a sexual person. Sex is about intimacy and companionship, and hopefully love when he finds that someday. Sex isn't necessarily about pleasure but that wasn't an easy lesson to learn.

Spencer just wanted to understand - so like any great genius he participated in thought experiments. It's normally a female superhero/supervillain that crosses his mind (he has an affinity for Poison Ivy), and he just kinda imagines what it would be like if they did what she did. The choking turned him on, but it wasn't enough. Through that, he figures out that he had more than a choking kink and that he was more than a little interested in a partner having complete access to him. He thought about it for weeks and the getting off was working for him but he couldn't get the fantasy out of his head. He wanted more - he wanted someone to fulfill his wishes.

It was too much for him to ignore. Those months of being able to hold off through masturbating are over and he's just sorta itching. Aching to act on those impulses with another person who can give him what he needs, and he doesn't want it to be transactional. Maybe it's too ideal to want a partner out of such an endeavor but was it so wrong? To want real affection and romance from someone who could also overpower him wasn't a crime and he'd be damned if he pretended to want any less. Spencer was just searching, even if it was rather desperately.

So, when Spencer finds himself on a BDSM dating site and he feels like his life is in shambles, he can only blame himself. It's not something he'd normally do but he's getting a little more than relentless about it but he also just wants to see what's out there. He's so out of it was it happens, it felt like he was being possessed as he made a fake email and wrote out his account information. Definitely blaming it on possession, he thinks.

It's too late to go back, as he scrolls through tons of profiles of rather intense looking people. He's not surprised, this is where people go to express themselves. They're entitled to that, it just sucks since he's just not ready for such levels of intensity. He wonders if he's in too deep yet, but he figures he'd hit that mark a long time ago and keeps scrolling through profiles. There wasn't much to go off of, many people not choosing to use photos for the sake of anonymity, which was good for Spencer. He clicks onto his own profile, reading his own bio carefully.

USERNAME: DOC187

SUB/ SWITCH / DOM

M / F / O

FETISHES: N/A

BIO: Interest in a dominant female companion. Completely inexperienced.

Spencer feels ridiculous, but he doubts anyone would even message him. He doesn't have much on his profile and he keeps things short for that purpose. He wanted to stay as low to the ground as possible - more curious to explore what was going in the world than to find anything legitimate. He scrolls through hundreds of profiles, mostly of people who were BDSM vets looking for new connections or fun. Some people catch his eye but they don't match his interests so he doesn't bother.

Except, one profile. The bio was beyond interesting to Spencer.

USERNAME: MISS—LILAC

SUB / SWITCH / DOM

M / F / O

FETISHES: Sadomasochist, Degradation, Humiliation, Pegging, Overstimulation, Edging, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Mutual Masturbation, Dacryphilia, Shibari/Gags/Bondage, Wax Play, Impact Play, Breath Play, General Sensation Play, Discipline, Collaring, Begging. Willing to try most things.

BIO: Interested in submissive males of any experience level. Helps if you're interesting and like to read and watch indie films. Looking for genuine connection and plenty of good banter. Curly hair is nice too. lol.

Before Spencer can think about it for too long his mouse clicks over that stupid little message button next to your profile. Spencer shakes his head at his own existence as he types you a message. Says you're online right now, but Spencer's sure he won't get a response for a while.

DOC187: Seems I fit who you're interested in. I even have the curly hair.

Spencer chews on his nails anxiously before he sighs at himself. He has no clue what's gotten into him belle before he can think he sees your 3-dotted bubble pop up. He feels his body wracked with nerves.

MISS—LILAC: I'm guessing you like to read and watch indie films too?

Spencer smiles. You seem interesting and the fact that the two of you were just talking normal was making Spencer happy.

DOC187: Indeed. I'm a sucker for 15-century literature and anything in Russian and foreign language. You?

MISS—LILAC: 15th century huh? I'll assume Chaucer. And Russian? You're interesting, doc. I'm more modern and English, hope you're not deterred.

Spencer smiles, surprised that you recognize an author as niche as Chaucer. He shakes his head at your commentary. He almost forgets that both of you are on a BDSM dating site and the irony doesn't escape him.

DOC187: Deterred? Never. I think you're rather interesting too, Miss Lilac.

MISS—LILAC: Ever the gentleman doc. I'm hoping you won't run away if I ask you more personal questions.

Spencer swallows. He types back quickly.

DOC187: What kinds of questions?

MISS—LILAC: If it's okay, you're real name and what you do. My names Y/N, and I'm a florist. I live in DC and I love romance novels.

Spencer smiles. He appreciates you laying down the path for him, knowing the stakes.

DOC187: My names Spencer and I work for the FBI. I also live in DC, and I love magic.

MISS—LILAC: Magic? I'd love for you to show me sometime.

Spencer swallows. Part of him feels like it's a stupid idea to ask you out so early but if you asked, he'd likely say yes. He decides to wait it out.

DOC187: I'd be more than happy to show you.

MISS—LILAC: I suppose you could send me a video but that's not the same as seeing the magic in real life, now is it?

Spencer is smiling like an idiot at this point. He shakes his head a little, jittery.

DOC187: Infinitely better live, I would say.

MISS—LILAC: Seems like I've found an excuse to ask you on a date then. Saturday's work for me but I'm sure it depends on you, FBI man. Before that, I'm gonna drop my number and I'll be expecting your call. (XXX-XXX-XXXX)

Spencer giggles. It's a little out of range for things he's used to doing, giggling aloud for someone else is certainly new. Spencer picks up his phone and dials away, anxious to call you but excited nonetheless. He heard you pick up the phone and his heart catches in his throat.

"Hello?," Your voice is smooth, and a little bit lower than he was expecting. It sounds pretty.

"Hello, Y/N," Spencer says back. He heard you laugh on the other side and can't help the way his heart flutters.

"Lovely to talk to you doc,"

"Still Doc? Not Spencer?" Spencer questions. You smile on the other side of the line.

"Doc seems to fit you. But, for the sake of formality, hello Spencer,"

"I like Doc too, but it feels like I should have a nickname for you as well. Only seems fair," Spencer says laughing quietly.

"If it's your prerogative you can call me Miss Lilac, or just Miss but..." you trail off for a minute. Spencer squints.

"Miss is a title, you know? Doesn't seem fair for you to call me that when I haven't earned it from you yet. I'm sure we'll get there but for now you can just call me Y/N," you say softly. Spencer blushes bright red, his voice betraying him as he speaks.

"O-Oh, well um - where does the name Lilac come from? Normally people go with their names when it comes to stuff like that," Spencer says shyly. He heard you laugh on the other side of the phone and blushes again, grateful you can't see him.

"I love the language of flowers and flowers themselves. It's a way to speak that not many people know - but I like the meaning and look of lilacs. White lilacs represent purity, so that was a bit of irony, but light purple lilacs mean first love," you say carefully.

"First love?," Spencer asks. You bite your lip for a moment.

"I joke that BDSM is my first love since it's such a big part of my life. Not as big as some but not small for certain. It gave me much needed confidence so I joke that it was my first," You say lightly. You hear Spencer giggle on the other side and you smile.

"What about your username? Any significance to DOC187 that I should know of?," you readjust your seat on your couch as you talk. Spencer grows a bit embarrassed.

"I normally introduce myself as Doctor Spencer Reid for work, not a medical doctor but I have three PhD's," Spencer admits. You raise your brows but hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Very, very impressive doc. What about the 187? It could be a plain ol' number but my guess would be otherwise,"

"That's my IQ, actually. I don't think intelligence can be boiled down and quantified like that but I couldn't think of anything else," Spencer explains.

"So you're a certified genius with 3 PhD's? To say I'm impressed is an understatement. Anything else impressive you'd like to tell me before I totally pick your brains," you say a little shocked.

"You wanna pick my brains?," Spencer asks. You wanna laugh at the irony of such a silly question from such an intelligent man but you refrain.

"Who wouldn't?," you say incredulously. Spencer smiles shyly.

"The only other thing is that I can read 20,000 words per minute," Spencer says trying to deflect. Your jaw dropped before but it manages to unhinge a little further.

"There's a lot to get to know about you Doctor Reid,"

"I'm sure it's the same for you," Spencer replies.

"Guess we'll have to find out won't we?," you say smiling.

Damn, Spencer got lucky. Hopefully he'd get to find out soon

_____

"Reid, are you listening?," Derek's voice snaps Spencer out of his entranced state. His smiling expression snaps up to look at Derek who looks a little exasperated.

"Sorry, what was that?," Spencer asks back. Derek puts down the case file they were working on. They had just finished a case and needed to complete some paperwork before submitting it for review and to be used in court. The job was given to him and Morgan and Spencer was evidently distracted.

"Alright, kid - what is up with you? All case you've been checking your phone non-stop and spacing out, all smiles and giggles. C'mon now kid, seriously. You got a little lady at home waiting for you or is there something else I don't know about?," Derek interrogates. Spencer doesn't really know what to make of it, though it's not really in his interest to hide you, it hasn't really come up with anyone on the team yet so it was proving difficult to decide what to do. The smile on his face manages to appear again as he starts to think about you, the tips of his ears red.

"Reid," Morgan says again, with a small look of irritation.

"Her names Y/N," Spencer blurts out faster than he can't think. Derek gives him a huge grin, holding his hand out to dap Spencer up. Spencer just looks at it confused for a second before getting the memo.

"'My man," Derek says chuckling. Before Spencer can continue Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia walk in. Hotch is the only one missing, and Spencer's a little grateful.

"What are we celebrating in here you guys?," Prentiss asks first. Spencer goes to say something to move away from his sudden confession but Derek is quick to cut him off.

"Our boy genius over here got him a little lady," Derek announces. The whole team erupts in questions and Spencer wants to bury himself.

"Congratulations, Spencer!! How long have you two been dating?," Prentiss asks.

"You guys are so dramatic. It's only been two months but no first date because well..." Spencer trails off. JJ just nods her head.

"Duty calls, I'm guessing" JJ finishes. Spencer nods deflated hearing Emily draw a breath between her teeth.

"That's tough, Spence,"

Just as Spencer goes to give a response back he gets a text from you that makes his day a little better. It's a selfie of you at work, a picture your employee must've taken of you in a room full of new flower deliveries. You're giving Spencer a toothy grin as you hold a bunch of gardenias in your hand.

Y/N 🌸: *image attachment*

Gardenias// You're lovely + Secret Love <33

Spencer cannot control the way his whole face bunches up in a smile, as if there's no one else in the room with him. Everyone just looks at him surprised, Garcia giving him a side-eye.

"How can you guys trust this stranger? We don't even know who she is! I haven't even run any background checks on her," Garcia complains. Prentiss nudges her side.

"I don't know if it matters - look at how hard he's smiling over there," Prentiss says. Garcia reluctantly looks and can't help but sigh.

"Okay well he seems really happy but still! We don't even know her," she pouts.

"I'm sure we'll meet her soon," JJ snickers at Spencer's lovestruck expression. Derek leans over Spencer's shoulder and raises his brows.

"Is that her, kid?," Derek asks. Spencer nods, simply staring at the picture you sent. Derek whistles when he sees you - you're genuinely stunning and he's surprised to say the least.

"Hot mama, pretty boy - how'd you manage that?," Derek asks, dumbfounded. Emily rolls her eyes.

"C'mon Derek, I'm sure - oh wow," Emily leans over Spencer's shoulder to see you and is met with the same reaction. JJ and Garcia are quick to follow thereafter, both looking equally as surprised.

"She's..." JJ trails off. The rest of the team just nods as Spencer grins ear to ear.

Spencer 🐻: Beautiful, as always.

Spencer ignores the rest of the team as they look at each other in disbelief.

Y/N🌸: Me or the flowers, Doc?

Spencer🐻: Both, but mostly you.

"Wow, Spencer you're really -" Prentiss starts

"You're whipped, kid. I mean seriously whipped," Derek finishes, nodding in agreement. JJ can't help but smile, giving Spencer a small pat on the back.

"She seems lovely, Spencer. How'd you two meet?," JJ says. Garcia stands around looking rather suspicious. A blush creeps onto Spencer's neck as he's reminded of how you two met.

"Online," Spencer says shortly. No one decides to question it, and Spencer thanks every god he can think of.

"Have you two FaceTimed yet? How can we know she's not, I don't know - catfishing you? Or scamming you in some other cyber criminal way?," Garcia sounds distressed. Spencer gives a small smile.

"We fall asleep over FaceTime every night," Spencer admits. Penelope's expression falls, and Prentiss gives a smile.

"That is disgustingly cute," JJ says laughing.

"Okay, well - I'm still running a background check on her," Garcia says stubbornly "But, I'm happy for you,"

"Thanks Garcia," Spencer mumbles out as he texts you again.

Y/N🌸: I wanna see you, love

Spencer blushes red as he reads your message. The word love makes his whole face hot.

Spencer🐻: I can't take a selfie for my life

Y/N🌸: You're with your team aren't you? Get them to take a picture of you.

Spencer wants to fold away, not ever really being the picture type, but how could he ever deny you.

Spencer🐻: How could I ever say no to you?

"Hey guys, can one of you take a picture of me for Y/N?" Spencer asks embarrassingly red. The whole team sends him a look of surprise.

"I'll take it Spence, try not to look as uncomfortable as you do right now," JJ says. The whole team refrains from laughing as Spencer gives an awkward smile. He thanks JJ who hands him back his phone before texting you again.

Spencer🐻: *image attachment* You owe me one

Y/N🌸: you're stunning as always. hadn't seen you in so long I almost forgot what you looked like.

Spencer🐻: stunnings an interesting choice of words.

Y/N🌸: I said what I said, doc.

Spencer can't help but do a little giggle, that causes the whole team to give him a look. Morgan just shakes his head, shrugging. Emily, JJ, and Garcia just look at each other before the room draws into a subtle but comfortable silence as Spencer just smiles, totally unaware of how whipped he happened to look. He didn’t seem to mind either way.

___

"How was work?," Spencer asks over the phone, kicking his shoes off as he looks into his fridge for something to eat. He hears you sigh on the other side of the line.

"Busy today - wedding season is coming up so tons of calls for centerpiece designs and costs. It's going well though, business couldn't be better," you say, clearly tired yet content. Spencer gives a small smile and feels relieved that things are going okay for you.

"That's really good. I'm glad you're feeling alright," Spencer replies. You ease into the couch as you talk to Spencer, relaxing by the second.

"What about you, FBI man? You have an okay day?," Your voice is full of a gentle concern that Spencer appreciates.

"Yeah, just paperwork and JJ said that we shouldn't have any upcoming cases this week to be worried about so I have the weekend off," Spencer says without thought.

"Have any special plans for the weekend?," you say cheekily. Spencer, still not having caught on, shakes his head for a second.

"No, why?,"

"Hm... well - would you like to go on a date with me then Doctor Reid?," You ask, giggling. Spencer's eyes widen in realization as he facepalms for a moment.

"Wow, I didn't even think... yes - yes I would love to go on a date with you Y/N," Spencer says laughing at his own misfortune. You shake your head instinctively, but the growing smile and even further growing adoration makes it hard to sit still.

"Hey, Spencer," you say, butterflies filling your stomach.

"Yeah?"

"I really like you,"

____

Saturday comes quicker than Spencer can really understand. You told him not to worry about what the days plans would be but he can't help it. Anxiously awaiting you in front of the cafe that the two of you were supposed to meet at, in a part of town Spencer hasn't really seen before. You said that you'd lead the way and the irony isn't lost on him.

"Spencer?," Your voice is small, as you call out to what you think is Spencer Reid. Of course, you'd seen him before but to see him in person like this was still so unfamiliar. His head shoots up, eyes searching for you. He's delighted to have found you, certainly that was true as he walks towards you. Your arms envelop him in a friendly hug and he can't help but find himself sinking into. You smelled sweet, like fruit and flowers (which makes sense, the more he thinks about it)

"Lovely to finally meet you, Y/N,"

"Same goes for you, doc. Would you like to be informed of our plans for the day, or do you prefer the element of surprise?," You ask smiling. Spencer laughs at your question.

"Details would be appreciated, but I get the feeling you're not gonna give me those."

"You're right! It's a trick question, since it's a surprise. But, promise it'll be good,"

"I'll take your word for it then," Spencer says with a small smile. You hold your hand out for Spencer which he accepts, locking his hands with yours. The affection makes him feel full of warmth, as you lead him away for the day you had planned for the both of you.

___

Spencer underestimated how well you knew him. He really, really did. It's hard to explain since Spencers been on a date before but this was so profoundly different. He's a little touched, but beyond that he's just.. surprised? Every date he'd been on before this, he'd have to play the gentleman but it never seemed like the other person was interested in just him. It was always casual small-talk over dinner, or a mid-day coffee date or something else that just felt mundane but this was beyond Spencer's imagination.

The first place you took him was a bookstore - which was in Spencers mind already a winner for best date he'd ever been on. You walked inside with him and told him he had to pick up a book for you and you had to pick up a book for him and to say his heart absolutely fluttered would be an understatement. He picked up up a copy of "The Screwtape Tales," by C.S. Lewis for you, and you gave him a copy of Shel Silverstein's "Where The Sidewalk Ends." For you, you got a glimpse to see what Spencer's sense of humor was and you gave Spencer a piece of your childhood. Both equal but opposite forms of intimacy. The only thing was Spencer had to wait to read his book because it's relatively shorter than yours and he reads 20,000 words per minute.

The next place you took Spencer was an indoor butterfly garden. Does he have to explain why that's a good date? He heard you talk about all the scientific names for the different flowers and why they attract butterflies and he wasn't sure he could crush any harder on you if he tried. A particular moment sticks out to him on which a butterfly landed on your shoulders and just stayed there like it didn't want to leave. Spencer's eyes were fixated on it the whole time - and he had never wanted to be a butterfly in his life before but he figures there's a first time for everything.

The last place, where the both of you were at now was just a small coffee shop, locally owned and supported by the community here. You told Spencer that when you started up your shop, you'd come in here to work on big orders before you'd expanded enough to have employees. Spencer admires your work ethic, much more than he could ever anticipate as he sits down at a small booth, totally covering the both of you as you return to the table with a little plate of banana bread and two iced coffees. Spencer pouts as he looks up at you, watching you flash him a grin.

"I could've helped you carry this over," Spencer complains gently. You roll your eyes.

"Maybe next time doc," you say softly. You hold back your commentary often on the date, and Spencer pretends not to notice for your sake but he'd be lying if he said he didn't wanna know. You always had something sly to say but you'd kept it from him so many times now he figures it's better if he didn't ask.

Spencer looks at you as you push a plate of banana bread towards him. He looks at you with curious eyes before reading your clearly excited face and laughs. He picks up a piece and examines it, before taking a bite. If it tasted as good as it smelled then he would be more than obliged.

The involuntary moan that escapes Spencer's throat makes you choke with laughter. Shit, you weren't kidding when you said this was the best banana bread in the city. Spencer just looks up at you like he's about to cry with joy as you double over in giggles.

"I know," You say softly, taking a bite yourself eyes filling with joy "I ordered some more for us to take home - you're welcome," you say with confidence. Spencer smiles because that is genuinely thoughtful, but it was more endearing to see you pretend it wasn't. He just shakes his head, a blush arising to his face as he looks at you. You're staring at him with intent. He quirks his brow at you in question.

"I had a good time today, Spencer" You say warmly. You only called him Spencer when you were saying something affectionate and a bit serious. He gives you a toothy smile.

"I haven't been on very many dates, but this was easily the best one I'd ever been on," Spencer says honestly. You grin ear to ear, hands carefully holding Spencer across the table, running your thumb over his knuckles for a few seconds. You couldn't say for sure whether it was too soon to ask him to be your boyfriend, but you'd be damned if you said it didn't cross your mind.

Spencer was mind-numbingly unaware of what good boyfriend material he was, but beyond that - what good submissive boyfriend material he was. It was driving you nuts, but you knew this was all new for him and you didn't wanna freak him out. Even when guys say they're interested in being submissive, they're still often times uncomfortable with you being fully dominant. Dominant in public and in bed, if you will. You wanted to pay for dates, and buy him flowers, and make him feel special too - at least on the occasion. That role came naturally to you, that let me make you feel owned type affection that only a dominant person can give. It scared men off - out of relationships, and you totally got why - but you liked Spencer too much as a person to risk iit.

Spencer holds your hands together, gathering your attention. You looked at him spaced out and he gives you a look of concern.

"You okay?," Spencer asks. You nod, chewing your lip in debate of whether or not you should express your concerns. Spencer just tugs on your hand and looks at you intently.

You sigh, looking at Spencer softly.

"I'm okay I just really like you," you say a little exasperated. Spencer laughs but is filled with relief.

"I'm glad to hear that. What else is on your mind?,"

"I really like you - like in an, I want you to officially by my boyfriend way and I hope it's not too soon but I'm just, worried I guess," you say nervously. Spencer can't help the way his heart beats in his chest when he hears you say boyfriend. God did he want to be your boyfriend.

"What're you worried about?,"

"I'm worried about freaking you out. I can be a lot since I'm... you know?," You say nervously. Spencer looks at you to continue.

"I'm more than just dominant in bed, and for a lot of guys it's not their thing and that's their right but I like you so much. I really don't want that to happen if I ask you out now and you realize that it's not for you," you say in clear upset.

Spencer looks at you in disbelief. You were worried that he was gonna freak out over that? That you were too dominant for him? It feels like such a silly concern but the expression on your face tells him you're speaking from experience.

"I mean, it's all kinda new to me but, well - I do like how you treat me? It's a nice change, I can't imagine myself getting tired of it, or of you. I really like you too," Spencer tried his best to reassure you without totally embarrassing you. You smiles at Spencer but your face is still full of doubt.

"If that ever changes, I'll tell you but I'd really like to call you my girlfriend," Spencer finishes. You can't help the warmth that spreads in your stomach at the offer. You just nod, looking up at him. You stand and walk to Spencer's side of the booth, sliding in next to him, leaning your head into his shoulder for a few while seconds. You sit back up, and Spencer turns to you.

"Hey, doc," you say softly. Spencer hums in acknowledgement.

"Can I kiss you?," you ask softly. Spencer chews his lip and nods, looking down at your lip. You're wearing lipgloss and it makes them look pretty - you are so pretty to Spencer.

Kisses are their own language, Spencer figures. The way someone kisses you can tell you a lot about who they are - so, when you put your hands on the side of Spencer's face, pulling him closer to you with such care and adoration - Spencer can feel what you were referencing earlier. The word Miss rings out in his mind, the way you pay attention to him with your hands. He feels your lips press against his, slowly gliding your fingers in his hair, thumb brushing agains the side of his cheek. Your other hand rested on his inner thigh and he has to think about anything other than that not to get hard. Spencer didn't get how much he'd been thinking about touching you until you'd do with no hesitation and he lets out a small whine. You pull back and Spencer has to catch his breath.

His lashes blink up at you and you're absolutely beaming.

"You're cute baby,"

Baby? Spencer wants to cover his face when you say it. You kiss him again and he can't help but feel flush.

You were Spencer's girlfriend and then some and he couldn't be more happy.

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid angst #spencer reid oneshot #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #Criminal Minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #sub!spencer #sub!spencer reid #so nervous abt uploading this lol

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drosselmeyerwrites · 3 years ago

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20 Questions: Writer's Edition!

Thank you for the tag, @chierafied! I'm sorry for such a late response!

***

1. How many works do you have on AO3? I believe I have 45!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 221,141 - started in 2019

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Fandoms currently posted include Inuyasha and Doctor Who. But the first fanfic (unpublished and lost now) I ever wrote was for Gundam Wing, and I'm currently working on my first Zelda - Breath of the Wild piece.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? E Pluribus Unum When winning against Naraku takes everyone from them, Sesshoumaru and Kagome find themselves suddenly thrust together and trying to survive their grief as they figure out how to get rid of the completed jewel and move on with their lives. When Comes the Rain A miko and a demon lord share a common interest when it rains, and in the quiet and peace of these stolen moments, something neither of them could have predicted begins to grow...

On Unexpected Love It's by chance that they happen across each other again, but it's by choice that they don't let each other go.

Chasing Your Tail When an item up for auction offers Kagome a piece of her past, she jumps at the chance to hold onto it. But she may be getting more than she bargained for when that past bids against her and then follows her home...

Fixer Upper 500 years and a fixer upper are no match for married mayhem...

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes. On AO3. I don't post on other sites anymore, but their system was more difficult to work with. But AO3 makes it very easy, and it's one of my favorite things about the platform. If someone takes the time to write me a comment, it makes my day, and I'm going to respond back to them, even if it's only to say thank you. But I love it when there's the opportunity to discuss what's happening in the story and answer questions!

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Probably Until Death because it dealt with tragedy and was left open ended. There's still hope there though.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Morning Light. It's a proposal one-shot.

8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Crossovers have never been my thing, but I have one planned - potentially. We'll see if I ever get to it. But it's a crossover between Zelda and Inuyasha.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic? I have. I'm all for constructive criticism - that helps me do better as a writer. But there have been a few comments here and there that go beyond that. Most of the time I ignore that. Recently I did not because the comment crossed some major lines that could potentially affect other readers, so I made my opinion on their attitude known there. I believe in constructive and effective criticism and embrace that. But I won't put up with readers going out of their way just to be an ass. That's a disservice to fandom in general.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind? LOADED QUESTION, lol! I like to think I write love and/ or intimacy. If I write a sex scene, it's going to be with a purpose that fits within the context of the story. Personal bit of info - I'm demi. So, smut for smut's sake has never been my thing (no shade to those who feel otherwise!). In my case, I just don't go there. Any sex scene I've included in my work is there for a reason (though it may not always seem that way to readers). But if asked, I can explain why I included every single one I've written and why I felt the scene added to the story. I do enjoy exploring the different facets of sex within a relationship, particularly because PWP isn't my thing, and I want to see the connection that intimacy brings explored. So, I don't shy away from writing it (though writing friends can attest to the almost panic attacks I have including it).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge. But I have had writing stolen before in my professional life, so I feel pretty adequately prepared to deal with it should the time come. Hopefully not though.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have not! Someday I want to finish translating EPU into Spanish. I've had people request it before, but I'm just not comfortable yet allowing people I do not know to translate what I've written.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Tried. It's not my thing. I'm too particular with how I write (as most writers are), and I find collaboration difficult. It's hard for me to stay motivated to work on co-written fics. As a rule now, I just don't do it, but I would make and exception for one person (you know who you are!) because we have this weird brainwave thing going on, and it might just work, lol.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? It is, likely unsurprisingly, SessKag. Though, I am really enjoying exploring the various ships within the Zelda fandom.

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Deseo a una estrella.

16. What are your writing strengths? I feel like I can never evaluate myself on these matters, so I'm going to go with what others have told me and trust them. The comments I get most about my writing tend to be about how I say a lot with very few words and then an ability to evoke strong feelings and emotion. I have appreciated that feedback and hope my writing truly reflects that!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I am a SLOW writer. Between life and a tendency to overanalyze the most ridiculous things, it's hard to just punch work out.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I love it, lol. Foreign language has been a part of my educational background since elementary school and was always my favorite subject. So, I get really excited to see other languages pop up in fic. An unpublished piece (SessKag) I'm working on called Beneath the Eternal Blue Sky actually includes a language I created to use in fic. Tribal inuyoukai group (Sesshoumaru's extended family) has their own native language, and that's fun for me to play with. Poor Kagome though, lol.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing! But the first piece I ever published was for Inuyasha.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? This changes every time I'm asked. But right now? Probably the EPU one shot First Blush. I hit publish accidentally more than once when writing this, so I apologize for the mess that made! Tagging @sereia1313, @jafndaegur, @stormielikeweather, and @ladygoshawk if they want to participate!

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hopefuljoon · 4 years ago

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BST: Chapter 4 - Golden Trio (past)

A/N: I love me some strong, independent MC who needs no man. You know that vine?

Tags: seriously some domesticity and fluffy shit, alcohol, physical violence, mention of a member's parent death, loneliness, pillow talk but not like that you dirty minded one, and whatever else I forgot to tag.

Word count: 4260...hope you don’t mind as I slowly increase it.

A few weeks have passed since their abrupt question of asking you to move in with them. You had given some thoughts as to what’s best for you and you decided that there shouldn’t be a problem if you wanted to move in with them. After all, no parental figure was there to convince you not to anyways. You texted Yoongi about it and told him of your worries. He dissolve your worries by telling you that you could just try to move in for a week and see how you like it as a ‘trial run’. You had agreed as you packed your bags for a week worth of clothes and a bit more.

There was never a dull moment in the house. The dinner that night to commemorate you moving in was memorable. The inner circle had smartly dressed in black suits and ties that were tailored for them with matching shoes. Their hair slicked back. You were dressed in a Gucci black bodycon with long sleeves that had an oval cut in the back. The cut so deep that it left nothing to the imagination. You took your time in curling the end strands of your hair as you let it fall while putting on a light hint of makeup. When you stepped out of your white 2019 Lamborghini Aventador S, the boys had wolf whistled and cat called you to which you only rolled your eyes as your cheek tinted pink. “Well, aren’t you looking like a full course meal tonight Y/n?” Tae teased as you narrowed your eyes at him. “I want her instead of the dinner that’s laid out on the table” Hoseok says with a dark look in his brown eyes before wiggling JK’s eyebrows suggestively as Tae nodded in agreement. You sighed before Yoongi told them to keep their dick down and mouth shut as they laughed, before you joined them, at the silliness of the situation. Yoongi came up to you with a hand extended outward, inviting you to take. He bends down to kiss your hand as you raised your eyebrows at his behavior before following the gentle tug of him pulling you inside. The dinner was a full on feast filled with appetizers, 2 main dishes and a side of dessert with wine that everyone liked.

The dinner was delicious as time flew by in a flash. It was getting late into the night as everyone helped with cleaning up before dispersing to their respective room.

That night, Jimin had asked to sleep with you having felt a little bit of a buzz from the alcohol. Of course you can’t say no when he gives you puppy eyes while the other members protested. Having known them for so long and all of your friendship with theirs felt so effortless as you bask in each other’s company. Their opinion reasoning that she should have her own space since she just moved in, and to treat her with a little more respect but you just laughed. It’s endearing as you mused, noticing the reason is mainly because they’re jealous at not having been the first to make the move. “I’m here for a week as a trial run and there’s 7 of you so relax” you laughed airly as they sighed before accepting with a shrug, leaving the kitchen to ascend the stairs that reached into their respective quarter aka ‘house’. Despite them calling it a ‘house’, it’s more like a floor filled with 9 bedrooms to which each has its own walk in closet, a full spacious shower, working desk with fancy desktops and sofas. All with a view of the calming sea as moonlight reflected into their room. The members all painted and redecorated their room to fit their own taste.

He’s always been the shy and quiet type when it comes to crushes and love. Of course nothing sexual happened as you showered and changed before walking back into the bedroom. It’s way too soon for that. By the time you came out, he already went to shower in his quarter and had changed, sitting on the bed watching the news in his navy blue cotton pajamas littered with tiny stars and a half moon as he waited for you. You edged closer to the bed before taking your grey bunny slipper off before sliding in. The bed dips as Jimin turns to look at you, smiling to the brim as his eyes sparkle in adoration at you. He laid down on the other pillow as you stared into each other’s eyes. “Yoongi told me a little bit about you and I did some digging. I’m sorry about your parents and what you saw” his voice laced with sadness as he looked into your eyes. You let out the breath you didn't know you were holding as you told him that it was ok, a nightmare is just a nightmare. “I know it is but it’s the reason why you’re afraid to love anyone anymore, right? I understand it, I was in your shoes too except mine was forcibly taken away when I was only 4” he sighs as your eyes widened before you apologize to him to which he only told you that you shouldn’t since it’s not your fault. “I never saw them again, I figured they die but I guess it was to protect me since no one ever came to hunt me down. I met Yoongi when I was entering high school and we became best friends. He stood up for me when I was being bullied. After that, he took me back home here and taught me how to use a gun and to defend myself. He saw that I had potential and trained me for a while and offered me to join him in the underground gang scene. Of course, I was shocked about finding out he was the leader but I owed him my life so I signed on” you nodded warily as sleep threatened to consume you. The TV was long forgotten as the white noise became part of the background. “You’re so brave baby, you always have been. Thank you for sharing and wanting to understand me. I’ll always be here for you, and so will the boys” you reply. Jimin wonders if you’ve noticed the pet name you just used carelessly but he doubts it from the way you’re yawning as you continued, “I’ve always been alone. Despite being the top student, I never cared enough to make friends. People always use me to help them but want nothing more than that. It’s tiring when I put in work to not have it paid off because I misread the wants of the other party thinking they wanted my friendship. I have you guys now though. You’re like a family to me, filling in the hole that I’ve had ever since that night. Thank you. I promise to make myself useful at least to contribute to the gang” you mumble sleepily before noticing his eyebrows scrunching together. “You don’t have to, we don’t want you to participate in this. We just want to protect you since you got yourself involved with dangerous men like us” he says before you smartly replied, “I want to. I’m doing my part to protect my family. I’m not like before anymore where I couldn’t do anything as I helplessly watched those I love murdered in front of me until I ran away in cowardice” you angrily say. He sigh loudly before nodding as he scooted closer to drape his arm over your form. He noticed the way you flinch before relaxing in his hold as fatigued lulled you to sleep. He gave you feathery light kisses to your forehead before leaning back to let sleep overtake him.

You woke up with the sound of fast rapping against the wooden door before it creaked open slightly as Jungkook’s head popped in. Jimin was still sound asleep, nuzzling into your form for warmth as you rub his back soothingly. “I hope I’m not disturbing anything but Seokjin hyung asked if you wanted to help him make breakfast for everyone�� he says quickly as he takes note of the way Jimin’s face is nearly in your blossom and your night dress hanging unfashionably low. You giggled slightly having noticed the boy’s flushed face as you realize it came from your state of your unkempt manner of dress. “Tell him I’ll be there in 5 minutes” you tease with a wiggle of your eyebrows before he quickly shuffles out of the room.

“Jiminie, I have to go and help Seokjinnie make everyone’s breakfast” you coo gently before you feel his hold tightened around your waist. He groans before muffling out, “10 more minutes”. You laughed before telling him you just promised Seokjin you’d go help in 5 minutes as you run your hand through his soft bedhead to sooth it down before he releases you. “Fine” he pouted before letting you get up and out of the bed. You kissed him gently on the cheek in apology as you got out of bed.

You descended the stairs in your pajamas as you turned left towards the kitchen to see Seokjin in his apron with a silver mixing bowl in hand, mixing away at the pancake ingredient. You’ve always been one to show your love and appreciation through skinship as you approached him quietly before hugging him from behind, resting your cheek on his back. He yelps and jumps at the contact before looking behind him at your giggling form. “Aish, you could’ve just told me. No need to sneak in so quietly kitten” he says before going back to pour the mixture into a circle on the electric stove. You move to help him make more pancakes as you plated the ones that were finished, decorating them with whipped cream, blueberries, raspberry and strawberry with a sprinkle of white powdered sugar as a finishing touch.

Yoongi and the consigliere slowly filed into the room and sat down at their dining table, looking as ruffled up by sleep as can be. You made a circle around the table as you put their plates down as they thanked you.

“Today’s training day. Jungkook’s taking the lead till lunch. We take a break after that then we head to the shooting range. I better not see missed marks or else” Yoongi coldly says before everyone nodded along. “Aren’t I always hitting the target? Shouldn’t you be targeting a specific person who doesn’t?” Jungkook pipes in with one eyebrow raised in amusement. “Shut it kid or I’ll put you to work more than you can chew off” Namjoon glares before everyone laughs. They respected Yoongi, he was their leader after all even if some of them have a sharp tongue to send sly replies to their leader sometimes. “Can I come with or am I supposed to stay here at home?” you ask as you tilt your head sideway. No one misses the way you call the estate as ‘home’ despite having lived here for a few days. “You can come if you can handle seeing guns and these idiots getting beaten up” he says with a smirk as you nodded before sending a smile of your own back to him.

Field day is what the members called it. Some lower members of the gang were called to train as well. It was more of a battle tier tournament starting from the lowest member present up until it was the inner circle against one another. The fight was determined by whoever touches the ground first with any part of their body, be it butt, head, back or knee, is the loser. Whoever reigns champion from the tournament would then face Jungkook, the lead trainer and the ever perfectionist. Everyone except the inner members were rusty, it’s been awhile since they’ve fought in hand to hand combat. They have no real reason to since no new gangs have risen up to challenge Yeonson since Yoongi took reign. The ‘tournament’ goes on for nearly 2 hours before it came down to Jin vs Hoseok as Hoseok dominates. Jin has always been a soft giant. He went on to go against Namjoon who easily let him win. Namjoon doesn’t prefer to attack physically, rather psychologically and emotionally. It was Hoseok against Yoongi next as Yoongi bested him, though the reason might be because he’s tired and sore from 2 previous battles. Tae went up against Yoongi as he won. Yoongi only nodded approvingly, accepting the defeat with honor as he recognized the reason why he picked Tae as second in command of the enforcer department. Jimin who slightly beat Tae reign out because he had played dirty to make Tae slip. Everyone was treated to their bruises and cuts accordingly by Jin and a little bit of help from you who was by his side to help sooth the ego of their inner members. They mostly whined more to gain your attention so you comforted them and reminded them of their worth despite their losses.

It’s the final battle to which everyone truly looks forward to as Jungkook steps in to face Jimin. “Aren’t you looking like a beaten up kitten?” Jungkook taunt before Jimin spits onto the ground angrily replying, “‘m not a kitten”. “Maybe not but you surely are feisty like one” he teases as he lunged for Jimin. Jimin dodges as Jungkook jumps forward with a kick as Jimin blocks with an “X” stance. The fight continues before Jimin pants tiredly as Jungkook only fixes his gaze on him before attacking again.

“Stop them Yoongi, I don’t want Jimin to get hurt” you plead as you walk closer to Yoongi to sit down next to him. He raises his eyebrows at you, “that’s not how it works. One has to reign and one has to lose. This is normal y/n, it’s how life goes. Besides, why suddenly wanting to save Jimin?” he says before turning his gaze back to the battle. “Nothing, I’m just worried for him is all. Should I go out there and show you what I got up my sleeves too?” you mused out loud before Yoongi snapped his head to look at you so fast that you were sure he must have broken a bone or snapped his muscles. “What? You’ve been in a fight before? Who trained you? Jungkook is a different specimen when he’s on the field. You don’t wanna mess with him” yoongi comments drly in fear of you getting hurt, it’s the last thing he wants really. “Maybe you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover Yoongi. My parents had trained me to fight since I was little. They knew that their line of business often puts me in danger. Give me some credits, won't you? Let me show you..Oh and tell Jungkook to not go easy on me because I’m your guest and i’m a woman” you sneered before turning to walk away towards the changing room. You knew you didn’t have the rights to get angry at his sudden assumption. He was only just trying to protect you. You changed into a loose black shirt and black Adidas sweats as you walked out. The battle between Jimin and Kook was long over with Kook reigning as always.

The metallic scent of blood fills the surrounding as you intake air to calm yourself. You’re not one to use brute force to win but to use your brain as an advantage. When you were little, your family had put you through Taekwondo and you finished with a black belt. No one knows that of course except your family who aren’t here anymore. Your brain and calculation had always been the prize possession as your father had always reminded you. He knew of your potentials, forded the endless possibilities and steered you into the right direction to put forth those advantages.

You walked towards where Jungkook is waiting in the middle of the ring with heavy hooded eyes. “Yoongi told you everything I asked?” you glance up at him and he only nodded. “Are you sure about this? I really hate to hurt you and for you to blame it on me later” he says as you grabbed your stomach and laughed. “Blame you? I initiated this challenge myself. I might be rusty but I’ll get back on my feet faster than you can blink little bunny” you smirk before noticing Jungkook demeanor change entirely. You’ve always had a running joke with him because of his doe eyes and cute face like that of a bunny. He hates it but only let you call him that. Anyone else tries and he’ll fight them head on without mercy. “Alright then princess, I won’t hold back. Show me what you got” he says before licking his lips to stare down at you like a predator stalking its prey.

You held your stance before Jungkook makes the first move. You already saw it coming, the way his legs shifted slowly as it raised itself from the ground had you easily dodging him. “Not bad, but you need to be faster than that to beat me” you say as you lunge forward with your hand, landing a square punch against his stomach. He tumbles back on his feet with an “oomf” spilling from his mouth. You can feel the 5 other pairs of eyes on you as your gaze shifted to your new family, watching you intently, ready to jump into the ring at any moment's notice. You hear something shift before a flash of black disappear as you noticed Jungkook went behind you. He landed a kick against your back as you tumblr slightly while making cartwheels to get away from him. You spun and held your stance as you growl and lunged at him, relentless in your triple kicks knowing one would hit. Your calculations weren’t wrong as he fell back but grabbed your leg that was in the air and twisted. The impact made you fall as you pushed back onto your palm to spin your foot back and out of his grasp. You were mistaken, for the first time in a long while as his grip tightened before dragging you to steady himself. You try to clutch at the dirt below but it was of hot use. With your other freed leg, you kicked at the hand that held your other leg hostage before he lets go as you twisted and jumped up to a stand. The fight continued as you lunges at him again until the both of you heavedfor air. Your eyes burned into his as he meets you with the same energy.

“Stop!” you hear Yoongi says as both of you walked closer to each other. The distance so close you can feel his heavy breathing on you as you look up at his sparkling eyes and bright bunny smile before turning to Yoongi with a conk of your head in question as to why he stopped you.

The rest of his inner circle ran towards you with him trailing behind in a walk. “Kitten, you surprised me! You never told me you could fight” jin says as he applauded you. “You even held out against Jungkookie, where did you learn all of this from? Care to share your secrets?” Namjoon bugs in as you wiped the sweat from your forehead and laughed. “My mother taught me the majority of it. I thought you guys dug up my history, didn’t you know I finished with a black belt?” you ask, eyes tinkling with amusement. “Now, I see...but baby girl, we can’t be together if you’re that much better than me” Tae teases as you smacked his bicep slightly. “In comparison to pure strength, I’m definitely not going to be able to hold out against Jungkook or any of you for that matter. My secret is up here, the master plan that notice and guess your moves before you even make them. Of course, it took me years to figure it out and a ton of experience of getting beaten up to learn” you point to the side of your head as an emphasis before rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly. “Ah, so you prefer the combination of physical but also mental state. Well, my love we’re going to get along just fine together” Namjoon comments before he gives you a pat on the head. Your smile curved into a smirk as you look back up at Namjoon. A fellow master of the dark side of the mind.

“I’m sorry I judged you but I know what Jungkook is capable of. I didn’t want him to hurt you or mentally strain you in any ways. Maybe we should talk over lunch to discuss more” Yoongi walks closer to you and looks at you wearily.

The 8 of you re-entered the house as the maids had already prepared your meal, jajangmyeon with pork and tofu soup on the side for healing purposes. “You never told me what each role you guys hold in the gang” you ponder as you take a seat that Tae had pulled out for you. “Well, I’ll start. I’m the head trainer as you just saw today. As a result, I’m also the head enforcer of the group. Pros of being good at physical fights I guess”, Jungkook says. “I’m the medic but you probably already know that. It’s a good thing after you graduate from medical school that you can be the head of the department officially instead. I just finished nursing school really”, Jin says before turning to look at you with a kind smile before sending you a flying kiss to which you laugh and roll your eyes at. “You have more experience than me Seokjinnie so you’ll always lead, I’m just the lead in names only but behind the truth of it all, you’re much versed in this field than me. Don't belittle yourself too much either, nursing school is another achievement all of its own! You should be proud.

“you say softly before acknowledging him again. You already know Yoongi is the leader but he tells you anyways, “I’m relatively good at everything these guys can do. Just a requirement of a leader to care for his gang a bit”. “Well, Jagi, I’m the info trader but I’m also an enforcer. Did you know the more a person talks, the chances of them accidentally spilling some tea and gossip is higher? It’s been scientifically proven you know!” Tae says with his boxy smile before showing his white flashing teeth. They look like canine teeth more than human teeth though. “I’m the head info, I deal with statistics of our drug and shipment. I’m also the engineer of the group, meaning I can break into any security camera in a breath. I also set up the lights and security camera in this house” Hosek says proudly before clapping his hands together in delight. “Well...I’m the weapon specialist but also getaway driver. My tools are just tools though, I prefer to get what I want through a bit of torture and bloodshed” as Jimin glances at you, eyes as cold as a creature of the night. You nodded nervously and coughed before Jimin laughs and tells you he’s joking. “I prefer to deal with the physiological aspect of it all since I’m not well versed with the physical state which makes me the best candidate for dealmaker. I’m the upfront image of Yeonson” he huff as he stares up at the ceiling, musing to himself if he missed anything else. “He’s also my second in command, in the case anything ever happens to me” Yoongi state matter-of-factly. “Ah yes, I forgot to mention that” Namjoon says before flashing you a dimpled grin.

“Nice, each of you have your own strengths and weaknesses. I’m sorry I wish I could be of more help.I truly never got into the affairs of my parent’s” you say apologetically as all of them reassure you that it was fine and they weren’t expecting you to do anything for the gang. “No, that’s not what I was trying to get at. When I graduate, I’ll become the head medic of course. I’ll also have you know, I graduated top of my computer science minor as well. I might even rival Hobi in hacking and engineering. I enjoy tinkering with small things like bugs and viruses most though”, you say as you look down at the now empty plate before you. “Well, aren’t you just good at everything eh? Guess we got 3 ‘goldens’”, Yoongi says as he raises his eyebrows in question. “What do you mean ‘goldens’?” confusion lined your face as you asked. “Well, Hoseok and Jungkook are often good at everything so they’ve been dubbed the ‘golden duo’. You’ve been added to that so now it’s a trio. Don’t disappoint me and show me your potential sweetheart” Yoongi eyes you softly before getting up to head for his room.

The rest of the members cleaned up as they headed out of the kitchen. It’s been a long day and everyone is relatively sore from the beating they’ve taken. “A nap is due for us all, an hour to rest then we head to the shooting range for practice, got it?” he yells out to the house and everyone replied with a “yes boss”.

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#bts #bts fluff #bts mafia au #bts poly au #bts smut #polyamory bts #polyamory #kim namjoon #kim taehyung #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jeon jungkook #jung hoseok #park jimin

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 5 years ago

Text

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 11: The Rush]

Chapter summary: Queen and Y/N attend a party and experiment with hallucinogens.

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, drugs, partying, injuries, sexual references, angst, some baby stuff.

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii @loveandbeloved29 @killer-queen-xo @maggieroseevans @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark @im-an-adult-ish @queenlover05 @someforeigntragedy @imtheinvisiblequeen @joemazzmatazz @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye @namelesslosers @inthegardensofourminds @deacyblues @youngpastafanmug @sleepretreat @hardyshoe @bramblesforbreakfast @sevenseasofcats @tensecondvacation @queen-crue @jennyggggrrr @madeinheavxn @whatgoeson-itslate @brianssixpence @simonedk @herewegoagainniall @stardust-killer-queen

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! :)

“You’re trying to make us late, aren’t you?”

Roger looms in the doorway of the hotel bathroom, arms crossed, a baiting ghost of a smile on his lips. His eyes—blue like a summer sky, like blooming delphiniums, like veins beneath skin—trace you from your black heels to your dangling diamond earrings, feasting, craving.

You smile back at him as you rearrange your hair for the fourth time. “The later we are, the drunker everyone else will be and the less agonizing small talk I’ll be forced to make with random music industry people.”

“I can assure you, they’re already drunk.”

“I don’t want to get there before the boys.” Freddie and Brian had left the hotel earlier to pregame in the bars of the French Quarter, and John is...actually, you don’t know where John is at the moment, which is unusual.

Roger chuckles, lights a cigarette, takes a deep drag as he gazes at you. “Come on, baby. You’re not getting any more stunning. It’s not possible. And you don’t want Deaks to be the first one to get there, do you? Can you imagine? He’ll end up telling his life story to the golden retriever or locking himself in a closet or something. We can’t abandon him.”

“No, of course not.” You give your reflection one final appraising glance. It’s not bad: sleek black dress, black Prada bag with a thin diamond-studded shoulder strap, smokey eyes, spritzes of Chanel No. 5. It’s pretty freaking great, actually.

Roger nods to your purse. “You got your kit, Nurse Nightingale?”

“Naturally. You think I trust eccentric and impaired musicians not to do gymnastics down a staircase or punch out misbehaving fellow guests? Oh no. Not a chance. I come well prepared.”

“Good.” Reflexively, unconsciously, he shakes his right arm a few times, stretches the hand, winces. It hurts him all the time, and you know that even if he’ll never say it. He drinks more or less constantly when Queen is on tour, and pops pills on top of that. You can’t ask him to stop; he can’t play without the booze and pills, and he can’t live without the band. He wouldn’t even want to try.

“Roger, is it—”

“I’m fine.” His eyes are on you again, everywhere, soaking up every curve and crevice like rain seeping through parched earth. Dusty ashes trickle from his cigarette onto the white tile floor.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he says, meditative in a way that is quiet and still and very unlike Roger. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “How much I love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~

New Orleans is cool and humid and the streetlights shine beneath the constellations of the night sky: Auriga, Cassiopeia, Ursa Minor, Orion, Perseus. The salt-tinged dampness in the air sticks to your bare forearms, your ankles, your collarbones, your cheeks; the chaotic ocean wind rolls in off the Gulf of Mexico. It’s February 14th of 1977, Valentine’s Day, a day you’ve always thought of as a sort of anniversary for you and Roger; not the day you told him yes, but the day you surrendered to the eventuality, the day you agreed to fall in love with the world he promised you.

Is surrender the right word? you wonder, because part of you doesn’t like it, part of you flinches like you’ve been hit. Yes, it is. Whether I like it or not.

You’ve never spoken of anniversaries to Roger. He’s never asked.

The mansion, a Southern-style manor with columns and fountains in the front yard, is raucous with music and trimmed with twinkling white lights; there are dozens of people—men in suits, women in gowns, strippers, drag queens, mistresses, wives, acrobats, magicians, drug dealers—mingling on the wrap-around porch, sipping drinks, shouting at each other over the music, snatching appetizers off platters that waiters balance on their shoulders as they weave from one end of the house to the other. You and Roger swim through the crowd towards Brian’s mass of dark curls and Freddie’s brash laughter that carries through the night air like smoke signals.

Some man in a lavender suit—a producer or manager or record company executive—is talking to Freddie and Brian with a cigar smoldering between his fingers. “...And it’s extraordinary, really, this new album, everyone’s talking about what a success the tour has been so far. What’s it called again?”

“A Day At The Races,” Brian offers matter-of-factly, as if he’s in a business meeting.

“Ah, that’s it!”

“What’s so interesting,” Bri continues, “is that this time around the audience has started really getting into it, singing along to almost every song, sometimes we can’t even hear ourselves! And at first we were a bit annoyed by it—”

Freddie adds: “We were thinking, ‘shut up, bitches, you paid to hear us sing!’”

“—But then we realized that we should be appreciating that enthusiasm, that maybe we could even figure out a way to harness that energy and write songs with the audience’s participation in mind.”

“Fascinating!” Lavender Suit Guy replies.

“Good evening, everyone!” Roger announces as he sails into the middle of the conversation. “Hey man, how are you? Enjoying yourself? Have you met Y/N? Yes, she’s a Yankee just like you, from Boston originally, and she can cure hangovers like nobody’s business so she’s incredibly handy to have around. Have you heard the new Eagles record yet? Jesus christ, it’s bloody brilliant...”

As they chatter, you scan the pulsing throng of strangers for John. After a moment—as Freddie is recounting the band’s escapades in Miami last week—he appears wearing a black leather jacket and hair that barely covers his ears.

“Deaky!” Fred gasps.

“John!” you squeal in delight, and he grins enormously as he wraps you in a hug. He smells like cigarettes and Manhattans and that verdant, ancient mystery of the American South.

“Hi,” he says sheepishly.

“Your hair...?!” You reach up to run your hands through it, to flip his bangs one way and then the other, to tug gently on the ends. “I’m in shock. Good shock, but definitely shock.”

“Yeah, some American girl told me once that I had good bone structure and should chop my hair off someday so people could appreciate it.”

“Hmm, who could that be?” Roger teases, turning to you.

“I believe I described the aforementioned bone structure as fantastic, not good, but close enough.” You can’t stop staring at John. You blink a few times, waiting for it to sink in. Instead, something feels unnerving in a way you can’t pin down: new, different, anomalous, inviting.

“You’ve all gone shorter, haven’t you?” Lavender Suit Guy remarks. “Well...except Brian, of course.”

“He had much shorter hair once, if you can believe it,” Freddie says. “Back in the very early days. Before John joined us. Bri would straighten it too, it was horrid, the poor man looked like a Lhasa Apso.”

“You have a new baby at home, don’t you?” Lavender Suit Guy asks John.

“I do, yes, my second. A wonderful little girl named Anna.”

“Congratulations! And Brian, you’ve got one on the way as well?”

Brian smiles proudly. “Two, actually.” Chrissie has curbed her comments concerning Veronica’s dreadfully banal, domestic, decidedly unposh existence now that Chris is bedridden with morning sickness and carrying twins. ‘I feel like the fucking Hindenburg,’ she’d told you over the phone. ‘If the Hindenburg had sore tits and smelled like vomit.’

“We’re drowning in babies,” Roger quips in a tone you can’t quite read. Annoyance? Curiosity? Disapproval? Envy?

“Well, since the wives are away and you’re free to play...” Lavender Suit Guy flags down a waiter holding a small tray of sugar cubes. “Ever dropped acid? There’s blow floating around somewhere too, if that’s more your scene.”

Brian smirks uneasily and stirs his Vesper. You look to John. John looks to Roger.

Freddie laughs and lifts a sugar cube daintily off the tray with his thumb and index finger. “Marvelous, darling! Will it make me hallucinate all my wildest dreams? Will an imaginary cheerleading squad of Farrah Fawcetts suck my cock all night?”

Lavender Suit Guy chuckles. “I make no guarantees.”

“Nothing in life ever does. Isn’t that tragic?” Freddie pops the sugar cube into his mouth and grins. “Beam me up, Scotty.”

Roger asks you: “You want to? It could be an adventure.”

LSD wasn’t exactly the adventure you’d had in mind when you agreed to follow Queen across the globe all those years ago in Boston; still, an adventure is an adventure. And if I don’t keep things interesting, he’ll find someone who will.

Oh, that’s not a thought you knew you had.

And I would like to return it to that repressed, dimly-lit, cobwebbed corner of my subconscious where I’d buried it, thank you very much.

“Is it safe?” John asks Lavender Suit Guy.

“Do you think I’d give you something that wasn’t safe? It’s perfectly safe. It can’t kill you. It’s not heroin. Worst case scenario you get a bad trip. And I’ve never gotten a bad trip from this stuff.”

You conjure up a smile for Roger. “Let’s do it.”

“Excellent,” he says, his face lighting up; and you realize that that’s what he’d wanted. He picks up a sugar cube, lays it on his tongue, and then slips it between your lips as he kisses you. Freddie whistles and claps. The cube dissolves with a pleasant, innocent, nostalgic sweetness. Then Roger turns to John. “You in, Deaks?”

John hesitates, then nods. “Alright.”

Roger passes John a sugar cube (with his hand this time), picks up one for himself, and toasts them like champagne glasses. “Cheers!” The sugar cubes disappear behind their teeth.

Freddie stares at Brian. Brian gnaws his lip and stares back. Freddie wiggles his eyebrows impishly. Finally, Bri sighs, exasperated. “Fine, okay, what the hell, I’ll do it.”

“I’m so proud!” Freddie cries, pressing his palm to his heart. “I am a proud mama.” Brian grimaces as Fred stuffs a sugar cube into his mouth.

“How long does it take to work?” you ask Lavender Suit Guy, feeling no different at all.

“It varies. Not too long, usually.” He whirls, spies someone else he recognizes, waves, and rushes off to greet whoever it is and presumably offer them illegal drugs.

After fifteen disappointingly uneventful minutes of trailing behind the band as they chat with various rich and famous party guests you don’t recognize, you depart to find a restroom.

“Don’t be gone long,” Rog calls after you. John watches with a Manhattan in his right hand. “I don’t want you to be alone if things get...you know...weird.”

“Sure thing.”

You find a small restroom just off the downstairs hallway of the mansion. The clock above the doorframe reads 9:47 p.m. You duck inside, muttering about your first acid experience being a total dud, about defective LSD and Valentine’s Days spent with strangers. As you scrub your hands with rose-scented soap, you glance up to check your makeup in the mirror. Your face isn’t there. Instead, Dominique Beyrand stares back at you.

You gasp, and Dom does too, in that delicate and prodigiously feminine way that she has. You peer penetratingly into the mirror as you gingerly tap your fingertips against your face, which is Dominique’s face now: her olive skin, her high pump cheeks, her large dark eyes like a doe’s, her pink lips. You experiment with a smile, and then a frown; you even emote the same way she does, with a charming candidness, with a rare sort of grace.

Why am I thinking about Dominique?

You’d seen her a few times since Queen’s Hyde Park concert, following Richard Branson around at industry parties and dodging mindless gossip and tedious networking, the same as you. She always greeted Freddie warmly and mostly ignored Roger. He always asked her a few questions anyway, questions you thought he already knew the answers to.

I guess the acid wasn’t a dud after all.

You titter uncertainly. You knot your fingers through your hair—Dominique’s hair—which is thick and glossy and onyx. Her eyes gaze unflinchingly back at you. They blink when you blink.

I have to find Roger, you think suddenly. I don’t know where he is. I don’t know who he’s with.

You spin, wrench open the restroom door, and stagger out into the hallway, your hands pressed against the floral wallpaper to steady yourself. The yellowed, antebellum walls breathe as you do, subtly, sighing as they exhale cool air into the soft clammy skin of your palms. The boards of the hardwood floor clang like piano keys when you step on them. You check the clock hanging above the bathroom door. It reads: 11:09 p.m.

“Uh oh.”

I have to find Roger.

You creep through the hallway as other guests pass you—some zooming by, others moving in slow motion as if they’re treading water, none apparently noticing the breathing walls or musical floor—peeking into each room to see if Roger is there. He’s not in the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, the parlor. Instead there are strangers in all of these places, laughing in each other’s arms, drinking, dancing, touching each other beneath suits and skirts and dresses, smoking cigarettes and blunts, rolling up hundred-dollar bills to snort white powder off silver trays like mirrors.

I have to find Roger. I have to find Roger. I have to find Roger.

In the backyard of the mansion is a cobblestone patio, a garden, a swimming pool which must be freezing but nevertheless has several naked guests thrashing around splashing each other in it, and a bubbling hot tub. You recognize one of the two people in the cloud of mist with their arms resting above the roiling water on the concrete rim. They’re giggling and pointing up at the stars, telling the stories of the constellations, their faces flushed and glistening with steam.

“Hi, Brian!” you cry, relieved.

He turns, sees you, summons a smile; but it’s not a true smile. It’s cagey, it’s dissatisfied, it’s nervous somehow. “Ah, there you are, love.” The girl sitting next to him in the sweltering water is very much his type and entirely unlike Chrissie: tall, slim, blonde, curly-haired. She has a tattoo of a lush, pristine peach on one tanned shoulder blade.

“Have you seen Roger?”

Brian’s brow furrows. “He didn’t find you?”

“Evidently, he did not.”

“Huh. Well, I’m sure he’s around.” Brian waits for you to leave. The blonde girl shoots you a polite but anxious smile. Peaches, you think hazily. Peaches from New Orleans. Just like the girl he told me about when I first arrived in London. Just like the girl in Now I’m Here.

“Bri, come inside with me.”

“I’m fine here,” he replies curtly.

“Bri, please. It’s late. It’s cold. We’re so far from home. There could be sharks.”

Peaches gawps at me, confounded. “Don’t be ridiculous,” Brian snorts. “Sharks can only live in cool water. Everybody knows that. We’re perfectly safe. Stay out of the pool though.”

“Oh. Right. Of course.”

“Good luck locating Roger.” That’s your cue to go.

“Come with me. I’m freaked out. The floor sounds like Somebody To Love.”

“That’s nothing. The bubbles in here play Beatles songs when they pop.”

“Brian...”

“Y/N,” he says harshly, darkly. “Go find Roger.” What he means is: Y/N, get lost.

What about your wife? you almost shriek at him. What about your children? What about those vows that you made three days before Christmas in 1975, the specter of global fame beckoning from the doorway of the Anglican church that Chrissie grew up attending, Roger’s arm tight around my waist and sprigs of holly in my hair?

But Brian already knows about all that, and he doesn’t care.

I have to find Roger.

You leave Brian and Peaches and slip back into the mansion. You search each room as the floorboards shift and chime beneath your feet; now they’re playing the intro to Seven Seas Of Rhye. You realize that you’ve lost your heels somewhere along the way. You aren’t terribly concerned; you have more pressing matters to attend to.

Behind the fourth door you open is a library with books and menacing portraits lining the walls. Everything inside is blue and wibbly and palpably sad. Freddie is slumped on the floor next to a grand piano, his hair in his face, each hand clutching a full champagne flute.

“Darling,” he slurs, thrusting a glass towards you. Fizzy champagne lurches over the edge and trickles down the side of the glass. “Come join me!”

“Is it the LSD or is the room actually that color? I feel like I’m trapped in Picasso’s Blue Period.”

“Do you? It’s all black and white to me. But blue fits. Welcome to my melancholy room.”

“Your melancholy blues,” you pitch with a grin.

Freddie chuckles. “Drink this champagne before I’m forced to pour it down your throat.”

You take the flute and sit on the floor beside him. “Have you seen Roger?”

“I have not.”

“Oh.”

“Darling,” Freddie asks drowsily. “Do you think one goes to hell for being gay?”

“I don’t think you’d go to hell for anything, Fred. You’re too good a person.”

“Ahhhh,” he sighs, dreamily, peacefully. “You are a delight, my dear. Truly. I adore having you around. I do hope you stay with us, even when Roger makes you want to kill yourself.”

“How would he do that, Fred?” you ask softly.

Freddie doesn’t answer. Instead, he lifts your hair away from your face, tucks it behind your ear, smiles patiently at you. “I tried to warn you, you know. We all did. I know you thought we were all being insufferable pricks. But we did it out of love.”

“John never tried to warn me.”

Freddie smirks. “Well. He’s got his own demons, doesn’t he?”

You aren’t sure what Freddie means. You down the champagne and climb unsteadily to your feet. “I have to go find Roger now.”

“Of course you do.” Freddie’s umber eyes flick to the ceiling. “Good god, there are birds up there. That is not sanitary. Leave the door open when you go so they can fly away, would you dear?”

“Okay. I’ll love you no matter who you are, Freddie. We all will. You don’t need to worry about that.”

“Thank you, darling.”

“Will you come with me? Will you help me? I’m worried about Roger.”

“You should be more worried about you.” Freddie waves goodbye. “I have to stay. I’m writing songs.”

“You don’t have a paper and pen, Fred. Do you need them?”

He grins and pokes his temple with a black fingernail. “It’s all up here.”

“Okay. See you around.”

“Au revoir,” Freddie replies, and closes his eyes as he leans back against a breathing wall.

You step out into the hallway and journey towards the main staircase. Someone has put on the new Eagles record; Hotel California rocks deafeningly through the mansion. The air quivers with slow, ghostly notes strummed on an acoustic guitar. The floorboards have abandoned their piano keys and now jolt with each drumbeat. The house has taken on a shadowy, violet hue.

“There she stood in the doorway

I heard the mission bell

And I was thinking to myself

This could be heaven or this could be hell...”

You clutch the banister as you ascend, studying each guest that passes you for a familiar face. There are none. They’re all blushing and glassy-eyed and cackling as they paw at each other, ignoring you, not seeing you at all. Emerald snakes dart between their rushing feet, forked tongues tasting the lust and impending amnesia in the air. What happens in the darkness tonight will be forgotten tomorrow. It has to be. All the world’s rules and obligations depend upon it.

“Her mind is Tiffany-twisted

She got the Mercedes Benz

She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys

That she calls friends

How they dance in the courtyard

Sweet summer sweat

Some dance to remember

Some dance to forget...”

You catch your reflection in the night-draped window halfway up the staircase. You’re you again, not Dominique. Part of you is comforted by that; part of you feels more alone than ever. You stare at yourself, beautiful, extravagant, dusted with jewels and luck. You have everything. You have nothing. You continue up the staircase.

“Mirrors on the ceiling

The pink champagne on ice

And she said, ‘We are all just prisoners here of our own device’

And in the master's chambers

They gathered for the feast

They stab it with their steely knives

But they just can't kill the beast...”

A woman in a shimmering scarlet dress is sitting on the top step and taking a drag off a cigarette excruciatingly slowly. She exhales, the smoke curling out of her red lips like tentacles, her pale eyes tracking you.

“Last thing I remember

I was running for the door

I had to find the passage back

To the place I was before

‘Relax,’ said the night man

‘We are programmed to receive

You can check out any time you like

But you can never leave.’”

You summit the staircase and peer down the hallway to your right. At the end of it is a vast, broken picture window. Cold night wind pours in through the jagged hole in the glass; you can see stars outside. A man is lying on the floor next to the window. You know him.

“John!” you shout, and sprint to his side.

“Hi.” He’s cradling his right arm to his chest. His knuckles are shredded and drenched in crimson blood. Incandescent shards of glass protrude from his hand and glint under the lights. There’s a heavy, coppery, sick-sweet scent in the air.

“John, honey, why would you attack an innocent window...?”

“It wasn’t so innocent. You should have heard what the bastard said to me.”

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up—”

“Stop,” he hisses when you try to touch him.

“John—”

“No!” he screams, pushing your hands away. “Stop it, just leave me, just fucking leave me!”

You step back, cross your arms over your chest, raise your eyebrows impatiently. “You want to tell me who you’re really so mad at?”

He frowns down at the rug, which is streaked with his blood. “Me, I guess.”

“Well you can be mad at yourself at the hospital.”

“No, no hospital,” he insists.

“Your hand is positively mangled. Your playing hand. You need to get it cleaned out.”

“You can fix it. No one else.”

“Since I’m tripping on acid, I probably shouldn’t be the one to fish glass shards out of your skin.”

“You can fix it,” he repeats, confidently now.

“Fine. Have it your way.” You help John to his feet, lead him downstairs, and sit him down at the kitchen table. You open your purse, unpack your supplies and position them in a neat row, shake out your hands to get them limber, give John a glass of water. “Are you going to have to write whoever owns this place a check for the window?”

“No one knows I’m the one who did it. No one even knows who I am.”

“I know who you are, John. Here comes the lidocaine.” You land a series of injections into the flesh surrounding his wrist, his knuckles, the back of his hand. You pause each time you get distracted by the murmurings of the table, which apparently speaks German. Okay table, this is important, kindly shut the hell up. Danke.

“Ow,” John says lethargically.

“And so what if these people don’t know who you are? Who the fuck needs them? You don’t need anyone who doesn’t know you’re the backbone of this band. Who made the Deaky Amp? Who wrote You’re My Best Friend? Who stays focused and calmly waits for the others to stop bludgeoning each other on a nearly daily basis? John fucking Deacon, that’s who.”

“Yeah. Alright,” John agrees, smiling. “Who needs them.”

“You’re gonna get your moment in the sun, don’t you worry.” You pick up your tweezers and begin plucking slivers of glass out of John’s bloody hand, plinking each into a white ceramic bowl. “Everyone is going to know you one day. You’re gonna spread your wings and write a ton of hits and unforgettable basslines and show the world what a genius you are.”

“Sounds thrilling. I’ll see what I can do.” He gazes down at his hand. “It doesn’t hurt at all now, that’s incredible.”

“That’s the magic of modern medicine.” You drop another shard of glass into the bowl. “How’s your first-ever LSD experience going so far?”

“Aside from the window business, quite well. Better now that you showed up.”

“Sorry. I spent an hour being confused by my own reflection and then tried to find Roger. You haven’t seen him, have you?”

“I have not.”

After a while you set your tweezers down on the table and inspect John’s hand closely. “Does this look glass-free to you? My eyes aren’t super trustworthy at the moment. I just saw a fish swim by outside.”

“It looks perfect, in my layperson’s opinion.”

“Okay. Let’s wash and sanitize, then we’ll wrap...”

John follows you placidly to the sink, lets you scrub and towel off his hand, returns to the table so you can bandage it with gauze. It’s quieter in the house now, the guests slowly dispersing, the music turned down and something mellow by the Stones; Gimme Shelter, you think.

“What made you so angry?” you ask him. “You know. Angry enough to assault a window.”

For a long time, John doesn’t answer. He looks up at the ceiling, his gentle greyish eyes chasing something you can’t see; birds, maybe, like Freddie. Maybe he’s looking for the sun. Maybe he’s looking for himself. Finally, he says, very quietly: “I’m just so fucking tired of lying all the time.”

“You never have to lie to me, John.”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I do.”

Then you hear a laugh, an untamed one, a familiar one. You turn to John. “Was that just me or...?”

“I heard it too.”

You both leap from the table and hurry after the sound. You burst outside onto the cobblestone patio. Roger is doing backstroke laps in the pool, howling up at the moon. There’s no sign of Brian or Peaches.

“Roger!” you yell.

“Hey, baby! I’m winning! I’m in the Olympics! I made the team! Do you see me winning?”

“You’re totally winning. Please come out before you get pneumonia or attacked by a shark.”

“Shark...?” John inquires.

“I’ve discovered something amazing,” Roger declares, still swimming. He flails his right arm in the air for you to see; the serrated mark that mars the underside appears to be slithering, a snake made of scar tissue and interrupted plans. “When you’re on drugs, nothing hurts!”

“Baby, please come out now.”

Roger obliges, hauling himself up the ladder and out of the pool. He’s still in his black suit; it’s ruined and clings to him and is dripping buckets of chlorine-smelling water. John yanks a towel off a chair and tosses it to Roger, who drapes it over his shoulders like a cape.

“Jesus christ, where have you been?!” you demand. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”

Roger grins toothily. “A sheer one?”

Despite yourself, you smile back. “Oh yeah. A sheer heart attack. Real cardiac.”

“I had the best idea. Baby, you gotta hear my great idea. It’s so great.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

He lunges to wrap you in a cold, sopping hug. “Everyone’s having babies, right?”

“Uh, well, not everyone...”

“We should have a baby.”

John’s eyes go wide. You swallow noisily. “Roger, love, I don’t think right now is the ideal time to make a decision like that.”

“Why...? Oh. Right.”

“Yeah.”

“If I still feel this way in forty-eight hours, can we have a baby?”

“Roger, I...” You glance to John for help. He raises his hands in surrender, one bare, one clumsily bandaged. You’re on your own, kid, that look says. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. That’s a lot of responsibility. I’d have to stay home with them. I wouldn’t be the tour nurse anymore.” I would never know where you were, who you were with.

“I’ll fly you out to visit all the time. I’ll have to. I can’t do this without you.” His eyes—blue like frigid pool water, like bruises, like dreams—are euphoric, effervescent.

I can’t say no to him, you realize, and it sends a biting shudder up the rungs of your spine. I didn’t just fall in love. I took a fucking nosedive.

Oh, this SO did not go according to plan.

You remember when you first met Queen, how independent and fearless and guarded you had been, how forcefully you had resolved not to put your happiness in a pair of wild, reckless hands like Roger’s.

What happened to that girl? How do I get her back?

And there’s something else, too: a thought you barely recognize as your own. A child would make us permanent.

John is watching you, edgy, apprehensive; but he doesn’t say anything.

“Okay,” you tell Roger. “We can try. If you still feel this way in forty-eight hours.”

“And I will.” Roger’s teeth skate up your neck and he whispers, his breath hot against the goosebumps rising on your skin: “Let me know when you’re late.”

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datheetjoella · 4 years ago

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Fantober 2020, Day 17: Haunted

Author: DatHeetJoella Fandom: Free! Pairing: MakoHaru Rating: T Part: 17/31 (read the full collection here) Word count: 1,761 Tags: Canonverse, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, School Festival, Haunted House, Mentions of Fake Blood Read at: AO3, FFn, or right here!

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Ever since elementary school, the cultural festival had been something Makoto looked forward to all year. In the weeks leading up to it, the atmosphere surrounding the school was even more pleasant and amicable than usual as everyone put in effort to make their class' event stand out. Preparing their event was a lot of fun, but the real fun came when their hard work came to fruition and the festival began. Seeing what all his classmates came up with, showcasing what his class made, enjoying all kinds of food at the various stalls and cafés, watching recitals and plays, it was a blast from start to finish. It was a time of unity between classmates and at the end, he was left feeling satisfied and fulfilled.

Makoto hadn't expected the enjoyment of it would dwindle when he got to university. On the contrary: everything was on a much grander scale and there were a lot fewer restrictions than in high school. Because of his job, Makoto wasn't in a club and therefore hadn't participated in the organisation, but he'd been looking forward to going to the festival with Haruka and experiencing what his friends had been working on for so long.

But more than twelve years of amusing cultural festivals were at risk of being destroyed in a single minute.

"Come on, Tachibana," Takagi said. "It's not that scary, I promise."

The axe headband sticking out between his copper-coloured locks and the fake blood trailing down his forehead did not support his claim. The instant Makoto spotted his friend, he had let out an audible shriek, drawing the attention of everyone in the hallway and sending his own blood rushing to his cheeks.

"You don't have to, Makoto," Haruka said from beside him and although he appreciated his support, it only strengthened Makoto's doubt.

Takagi had been a good friend of his since day one of university. They sat next to each other in Psychology and hit it off right away, agreeing to swap notes and help each other wherever they could. Quickly thereafter, Takagi had joined the Movie Research Club and, in collaboration with the Creative Writing Club, they had created a haunted house for the festival.

According to the advertisement posters, it was supposed to be like stepping inside a horror movie, a storyline the visitor was the protagonist of. That description set off numerous alarm bells in Makoto's head. He avoided haunted houses like the plague and vehemently refused to watch horror movies and this brought the worst of two worlds together.

The decision of whether or not to partake in this particular event seemed crystal clear. After all, he had strategically evaded the haunted houses in past festivals and had planned to continue this streak. But there was one roadblock: Makoto was a giant pushover.

"We all worked so hard on this and I would love for you to see what we made." Takagi slapped his hands together and bowed his head, nearly smacking Haruka with his axe-handle. "It's like a compilation of horror movie clichés, so it's more funny than anything. But if you do think it's too scary, I'll treat you to whatever you want."

There it was. It was not so much the promise that persuaded him, but the fear of disappointing his friend.

"W-Well, if you insist it's not that scary…" Makoto trailed off with an awkward chuckle.

"Thanks man, I appreciate it," Takagi said with a pat on Makoto's shoulder. "I hope you enjoy it. You too, Haru!"

With that, he stormed off to a group of young women to coax them into entering the haunted house as well.

The exchange left a frown on Haruka's face. "How am I on a first-name basis with your friend but you aren't?"

The dry comment dissipated some of the tension gripping Makoto's stomach. "Sorry, I think it's because I talk about you so much."

"Hm," Haruka hummed, and when he was sure Takagi was out of earshot, he said, "Makoto, you don't have to go in if you're not comfortable. I can go in by myself and tell you about it afterwards, in case he asks you what you think of it later."

Despite feeling like he was seconds removed from willingly throwing himself off a cliff, Makoto smiled. "Thanks, Haru, but I'll go with you. He said it wasn't that scary, so I should be fine."

Except he wasn't fine. The instant he stood before the room and heard the eerie music, Makoto knew he made a huge mistake.

When they entered the house, they got a handful of cards with dialogue options that they would need for certain checkpoints, then the interactive movie began. There was no way back.

Following the story that was being portrayed, Haruka and he moved into a vacant house that was far cheaper than the surrounding lots in the neighbourhood - a house Makoto would never buy in reality for obvious reasons. Right away, strange things began to happen in the house: lights flickered, keys clinked, lamps fell over and the phone rang, but when Haruka picked up, the line was dead. That was already enough to have Makoto clinging to Haruka's arm.

"It's alright, Makoto," Haruka said, rubbing his skin with his thumb. "Just close your eyes and try to think of something else. I'll guide us through."

Haruka's advice was a small comfort, but it was futile. Makoto's heart was actively trying to burst through his ribcage and his fight-flight-or-freeze instinct had kicked in, therefore he couldn't tear his eyes away from any of the things that were happening around him. Logically, he knew everything was fabricated by his peers, but it felt so real. This was exactly why he hated horror. How could anyone enjoy being scared?

When Makoto had unsuccessfully convinced Haruka it was fine, they continued. They had to investigate the reason behind these weird occurrences and found out that a hundred years ago, a young girl was murdered inside their house. It had been haunted ever since by various vengeful spirits and the only way to break the curse that had befallen the house was to figure out who the killer had been.

What the conclusion to the story was, Makoto didn't even care. A light, feminine voice ruptured the silence, ominously whispering about bringing forth suffering to those who had wronged her; suffering that exceeded the torture she endured. Makoto clamped onto Haruka's shoulders as he scanned the room to see where it was coming from. A short girl in torn, ivory robes emerged from the darkness, hunched over with her long dark hair obscuring her stark white face. She glided closer and when she stood before them, she looked up and revealed her pitch-black eyes.

When she popped up into his field of vision, Makoto screamed so loudly it alerted all the orcas within a thousand-mile radius. He nearly jumped on Haruka's neck in an attempt to hide his large frame behind Haruka's smaller one.

Fortunately, the girl noticed how genuinely terrified he was. She recoiled and forwent her script in favour of asking if he was alright, voice a bit heavier than the childlike tone she put on. Before Makoto could come with excuses, Haruka spoke up.

"He's not alright. Is there a way for us to leave?"

The girl nodded. "Code yellow!" she yelled, her voice vibrating throughout the area, then she turned back to them. "You can walk through now. No one will bother you."

"Thanks," Haruka said, and he tugged Makoto along by the hand. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Shame filled Makoto's senses, but when they passed through the rest of the haunted house and he saw the bloodied decor and props, relief washed over him. If he had to stay for the rest, he would either leave crying or in a fear-induced coma, so this was better for everyone involved.

What he did take away from this was that he would no longer trust Takagi's judgement. More funny than anything, he said. The only funny thing that happened inside that haunted house was Makoto's pathetic reaction.

When they were finally outside in the daylight again, Haruka dragged him over to a bench. Once he was seated safely, Makoto's soul returned to his body and his back slumped like all the life force had been sucked out of him.

"Are you okay?"

He looked up at Haruka with blazing cheeks. "I'm sorry, Haru. Because of me, you didn't get to experience the haunted house like it was intended."

Haruka merely shrugged. "As if I care about that. I just want you to be comfortable. But you do need to grow a spine."

"I know," Makoto said, head hanging low, "My childish fears always ruin everything."

"That's not it," Haruka said with a squeeze to Makoto's knee. "It's not weird or embarrassing to be scared of these things, a lot of people are. But next time, you need to come out for it and reject these offers right away. Stop being so afraid of letting people down and straight-up tell them no if you don't want to do something."

It was hard, but Haruka was right. He was an adult now and he should act like one. That included setting boundaries and adhering to them. "You're right. I'll tell Takagi-kun I couldn't handle it and that I won't go in next time. From now on, no more haunted houses or anything else ghost or murder-related for me."

"Good," Haruka said, bidding him a gentle smile that calmed Makoto's overworked heart. "Takagi owes us, but we'll find him later. First, is there anything you still wanted to see or do?"

The terror within his gut mellowed out and he smiled back at Haruka. "Well, I saw a sign for a sweets café earlier. Maybe we can check that out?"

"Sure. My treat," Haruka said and Makoto opened his mouth to protest, but he sent him a look that made it clear there was no room for argument.

Hand in hand they strolled over the campus towards the building that hosted the café. Haruka asked him what kind of pastries he was hoping they'd have and Makoto's mouth began to water at the thought of cakes and brownies.

If there was anyone who could chase off all the bad images and demons that resided in Makoto's mind, it was Haruka. It had been like that since they were kids and it would stay that way even as they grew older, because some things never changed.

#i'm sorry i'm stupid #makoharu #makoharu fic #my fic #fantober2020 #colourful days with you

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mars-bar81 · 5 years ago

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Tagged by @hptruefan-cheekytorah

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Sorry, this became quite long! If anyone’s just looking for fics, I’ve bolded them to make them easier to see!

1. A Week at the Humdinger

This was written for LCDrarry 2019, and I can’t tell you how much I love it. I’ve always loved the movie Pretty Woman, and this fest popped up on my radar a few months after I posted my drabble, A special client. The idea to continue it had already been floating around in my head for a few months, so I figured, why not?

The world building on A Week at the Humdinger was very self-indulgent. Opulent hotels, fancy dinners, being able to buy out an entire row of tickets at a charity concert, paying my friends’ tuition—good stuff man, good stuff.

I think this was also the first long fic I’d written and posted that didn’t revolve around children or have them heavily feature in it (yes, I know, I put Teddy into it, but still, the story would have worked perfectly without him).

Finally, I loved creating the art to go with A special client. It took a lot of work (and a lot of coaching from my sister, who actually understands proportions, lol) but I love how it turned out.

Rating: Explicit Length: 52 231 words (plus A special client- 235 words) Summary: What happens when Europe's richest business tycoon asks London's poorest (probably) prostitute for directions? An adventure at the Humdinger, and a love story to last the ages. Or at least the week. Pairings : Drarry, Pansy/Millicent/Luna

2. Sex Ed for Witches and Wizards of All Ages

Okay, so Sex Ed is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart. I have studied it extensively through my academic career, and continue to learn so much amazing stuff from so many amazing people every day! I’ve said time and again that Sex Ed for Witches and Wizards of all ages is not a reliable guide to sex ed, because I did not fact check the entire thing, and honestly? It’s fan-fiction.

That being said, I really wanted to challenge readers to reflect on what they think is important to teach children, and how much of an impact learning about consent, respect, trust, sexuality, healthy bodies and healthy relationships can have on all humans as they grow. As always, please talk to a trusted health care provider or qualified sex educator for questions/concerns related to sex ed!

Rating: Explicit Length: 77 066 words (my longest fic posted!) Summary: Draco and Astoria decide on their wedding night that they're not going to raise their future children with the same outdated traditions they were raised with, especially relating to love and sex. They never could have predicted exactly how much that decision would change Scorpius' life. Pairings: Starts with Drastoria, Hinny, eventual Drarry, Scorbus and Jeddy

3. The Godric’s Hollow Wizarding Parents Association

This is technically a year and a bit ago, but I think to this day GHWPA is one of my favourite fics I’ve written and deserved a mention! It was inspired by a Tasty Junior video showing how to arrange your fridge so that children could pack their own lunches, which is what Harry does with his kids in my story. I always see all kinds of clever tips and tricks online, and never get to use them irl, so I figured why not put them in a fic?

I also took GHWPA as an opportunity to really express how much food means in my daily life. I love cooking and baking, but I also love learning about different cuisines of the world and sharing that joy and connection that so many people associate with food, sometimes without even realising it!

Rating: Explicit Length: 26 298 words Summary: When Draco decided to move his small family to Godric’s Hollow, little did he know he’d have to deal with misleading television programs, some surprisingly friendly neighbours and a bit of peanut butter. Okay, lots of peanut butter. Pairings : Drarry, Past Drastoria and Hinny

@hptruefan-cheekytorah also made a gorgeous mood board for it, go check it out!

4. I hosted the Drarry Discord Drawble challenge! It’s a lot of fun participating in the drabble and drawble challenge every month, but it was a whole new experience to host it, because it made me so much more aware of the artists in our community and gave me a whole new set of responsibility to manage for the month! It was a lot of fun though, and I encourage anyone who wants some drabbles and lovely art to check out the Drarry Discord Writer’s Corner Drabble Challenge tag on AO3 for all the amazing work creators have made in the months that this challenge has been running.

5. So this isn’t an accomplishment that’s easy to display on Tumblr, but I’ve gotten a lot better at balancing my fandom participation with my real life. There was a time in the past couple of years when I would write and interact in fandom during every free moment I could find, often as a way to get away from stress and uncertainty in real life. I’ve been getting better at stepping back from fandom and managing my real life, and it’s working—my marks have improved in school, I left a job that was terrible for my mental and physical health to find something that makes me much happier, and I’ve pulled a complete 180 on my career path, and now have a much happier outlook on the future! Funny enough, through all that, I feel more connected to the fandom community than before! So if you’ve beta’d for me, cheered me on, liked or commented on my work, made a meme that made me laugh, sprinted with me, shared your own work that inspired and moved me, or even just said hi to me in passing, know that I really love and appreciate you!

I won’t tag anyone because I’m sure the few people I know on Tumblr have already been tagged, but if you haven’t and would like to do this, please do!

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helloabominacion · 6 years ago

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◃ COLLIDE ▹

A/N: so so so, it's quite never-wracking publishing something here because i don't have a clue how AO3 works, but I’ll have my chances here on Tumblr. As you can see with the gif, this is a toshinori yagi x exotic dancer!reader.... Yeah, i don't know what i was thinking, so please enjoy.

A/N: AAAAAALSO, ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ as i promised, @damnit-samnit , im tagging you in this

“Where the fuck it’s my bra?”

“God, I need to smoke now!”

“Do you have any painkillers? I can’t deal with these cramps.”

It was quite fun to observe the antics of your companions through the reflection of your illuminated mirror, you had already seen this before and these moments always happened when the girls were clearly stressed out of not having enough time to take care of themselves before hitting the stage. A fond smile spread your unfinished lips, you wanted to take a few seconds to be able to snicker at them, women trotting around half naked with high heels and since the dressing rooms were a bit cramped, there are probabilities someone will bump with another person.

With a slight sigh, you returned to the task of painting your lips with this deep carmine, which made your skin stand out beautifully. It’s to be expected that anxiety and nerves ate away your stomach. Millions of times you've done your acting on stage, the confidence you felt every time the audience burst into applause, pride bubbled at the expertise you had every time you spin with the metal tube.

And no matter how many times you try to focus on those feelings, there will always be a little voice full of malice whispering at your side, that you are not good enough for this place.

But that can be easily solved.

You got up from your seat for another girl to use it since you had finished with your look for tonight. Always straps on your legs with something on top that could be see-through, like the black long skirt you had. This time you added something adorable, a pair of stockings attached to the straps because it’s a pain in the ass always rolling them up and as a final touch for the top, a black bralette with embroidered floral lace in the areas of the breasts.

At first, you thought it was too much black, but in the end, you loved it with the little shines the skirt had, besides when you were going to hit the stage there’ll be lights on you.

And you couldn’t avoid small spin you did with your ankle boot high, it's not your fault that you felt pretty. Why do most people think that being an erotic dancer will give you a bad reputation? It actually gave you a few perks.

“Venus, girl! Stop ogling your ass and come outside with us!” A woman with a bunny outfit address you.

‘Well, duty calls.’ You thought, huffing amused by the judging glare from the other female but it switched to a playful glare as she flung an arm around your shoulders, dragging to the loud madness of music and lots of alcohol.

Yeah, being an erotic dancer might have a few cons but you were able to deal with them with a positive attitude.

◃☆▹

‘Why me?’

It's like the sixth time he was lamenting in his mind, embarrassment giving a nice shade of red on his face while anxiety gnaws at his stomach, well, part of the organs that he still had. His fellow teachers were persistent this week, surprising him with his guard down and there were sometimes times when his response was blood coming out of his mouth. And there was no way to escape since he was cornered between them, Nemuri and Hizashi were chatting between them. Thrilled that at last, their plan had finally succeeded. Have forced the number one hero of all Japan to have a little bit of fun. At first, it wasn’t easy to have a specific date, since the three heroes had busy schedules but at the end, they were able to find the perfect day where the three heroes had no patrols, no papers to grade or classes to prepare for their students.

Although the patrols didn’t apply to Toshinori, with the small disadvantage that he can only sustain his other form for a short time.

Of all the places, Toshinori never thought or imagined he would be forming in a line to enter a Strip club. He’d assumed the duo would drag him to a club to “relax”, he’d even imagined that Hizashi would drag him to the dance floor or Nemuri would try to convince him to drink a bit, which he’d warned them before that he wasn’t in a position to drink.

Cerulean hues look up to see the sign of the building, ‘CHERRY POP’ with a pink neon light that illuminated the dark streets and civilians who also formed a line, the said fruit replacing the O and anyone would figure it out the innuendo behind the sign. With just thinking about it the heat in his cheek increased. Nerves tightened his throat as he was guided by Nemuri and Hizashi, it was their turn to enter and Toshinori was already praying that this would end soon.

Don’t get him wrong, a part of him was actually happy that at least his colleagues involved him in their activities, it made him feel less old but there were some comments that gnawed his mind when Midnight invited along with an excited Mic, even the duo had thought about inviting their old friend with deep eye bags but Aizawa had rejected the invitation with a death glare.

‘You need to get out of that apartment, All might-san! It’s not healthy for you.’

‘YEAH! We get it that you are number one hero but even you deserve a break!’

He cannot take breaks! Toshinori devoted himself that he would do everything in his power to be the symbol of peace for the world. It doesn’t matter if he reaches the limit of his quirk, if he has a way to help in any kind of way, he would do it. And that has caused him so many sacrifices, his organs were hanging by a thread if he wasn’t careful with his food, he depended on pills and you better believe this tall lanky man has some self-doubt issues about himself.

Toshinori was welcomed by the soft pink and purple lights, it was large but with many people occupying the tables and dancers attending to customers, it felt a bit crowded. And immediately his eyes stuck to the ground, perplexed to the type of clothing the women were wearing but what was he expecting? This was a stripper club after all!

“All-Might san!” Midnight had to stand on her tiptoes and raise her voice a bit, due to the blasting music. “Can you get the drinks? Yamada and I’ve to find a good spot, okay?”

He appreciated his friends but Toshinori was sure they’ll be the cause of his death. Before he could protest, Nemuri walked away, chasing after a Hizashi who was being cornered by a pair of twins wearing student outfits. The bar wasn’t difficult to locate, it took most of the place with a bar that emitted a purple light. Toshinori notices it was a bit empty, some people at the end of the bar drinking or talking to one of the girls.

With hurried steps he went to the bar, avoiding physical contact with anyone or contact visual, keeping his eyes on the bar and trying not glanced at the revealing clothes from the woman. If his memory didn’t fail him, usually Hizashi would drink beer and Nemuri would like tequila and as for him? Water can be an option, or perhaps he could use the advice from Midnight.

With a polite smile, he asked the bartender for drinks and watched the dark-skinned man use his hair to take the bottles and glasses, which Toshinori noticed were actually tentacles like an octopus, pale in lilac tones. The blonde waited, crossing his arms over the bar and sighed to calm those nerves, hoping this adventure would end soon.

He’d mentioned before the bar was half empty because most of the people were busy enjoying themselves and the women were taking the drinks to the tables, what a weird services Toshinori thought but his attention was drawn to this figure sitting on top of the table bar, slouching over while drinking.

It was another dancer but they didn’t seem to participate like the other women, Toshinori crossed the idea of them being a customer by their choices of clothing. He returned his attention when the bartender returned with the drinks, Toshinori still hasn’t asked something for himself so he wondered if this place would have juice?

A rattle noise distracted him, Toshinori observed as one of the locks (tentacles?) from the man stretched out just to give the girl a small object and the blond recognized him. The blonde man was well aware of possible drugs being taken here, and probably this place has a permit but Toshinori wasn’t interested in that, he didn’t want to be intrusive and didn’t want to cause a scene but his hero conscience shouted at him to stop them, to avoid a tragedy about someone who died due to an overdose.

Meddling when you don’t need to is the essence of a hero.

It only took him two strides to be at their side and land one of his bony hands on top of theirs, stopping them before they can open the bottle.

“Please, don’t do it.”

◃☆▹

By "come outside with us" it actually meant: sit on the bar and observed how everyone was working, but at least you got a tip for doing a lap dance to a group of college students, you enjoyed how the shy boy was a wrecking laughter by your performance. Clearly obvious it was his first time visiting the cherry pop. You loved this kind of reactions, pride swelled your chest to see that you did a good job of bringing them joy in their night.

The drink you were holding was a combination made from Lulu, something to get you in the mood, vodka with some sprite. Simple but you already felt the heat in your body rise a little but not enough to get dizzy. Slumping your shoulders as you heaved a sigh, you already felt this night was going to be long but you soothed your impatience with the fact that you only had to wait thirty minutes to start with your act.

The rattling noise by your ear brought your attention and without looking you took the small bottle from Lulu's slimy tentacle, you were grateful the barman kept your candy hidden, there were many times you had a little craving but you avoid the food, vomiting while performing is something you don’t wish to experience. Putting your drink away so you can have your hands free, why did you put your skittles in a medicine bottle? You always promise to bring a more suitable container but you always forget it.

With the drink affecting your temperature, it also affected your reflexes because you would’ve flinched by the intrusive hand that invaded your sight but you didn’t. You blinked twice owlishly, your eyes followed the long arm until they connected to these sunken eyes with cerulean irises.

He was tall and you didn’t want to exaggerate but you were sitting at the bar, and it was high, this man wasn’t tilting his head up to look at you, his head was slightly leaning down to look at you!

That’s how tall he is.

You knew his hair was blond despite the lack of light and was rebellious, it reminded you like the mane of a lion. And his sharp features, they were accentuated by the bangs on the sides of his face. You've met millions of people with different appearances but him? He was the first one to leave you with a gaping mouth but now you were wondering why he stopped you from eating your sweets.

Maybe he wanted too? Your eyebrows pinched with confusion by the choice of his words, what does he mean “don’t do it”?

And Toshinori noticed it, the confusion filling your features and your eyes shifted between his hands and face.

Oh right, he has to explain why he stopped you.

“Please don’t do this yourself.” Toshinori began, removing his right hand. “You think have no way to escape but there is one and I don’t think to damage your body own is the answer.” Toshinori hoped his words would have got an effect on you, to make you reflect on your actions and he was ready for any reaction you’ll throw him. Anger or mockery were the first two he was expecting but now it was his turn to blink perplexed.

You began to laugh.

He wasn’t sure if you were laughing at him or at the situation but the way your cheeks redden, the way you were trying to muffle your giggles with the back of your hand.

It made his insides twitch.

Your laughter faded but you still had a smile on your lips, you weren’t really laughing at him but about this man's assumption, he thought you were ingesting drugs and it was cute that someone took the trouble to worry. It’s true in this club there are several drug addicts, some of your companions are. You can drink until you suffer a massive hangover the next day but to take something that can make you see flying pineapples is a big no-no.

“Oh no, no! These are not drugs.” You assure as you opened the bottle and pop a green one in your mouth. “It’s just candy, I get hungry in the job so I’ll always keep something to bite on.”

You could see relief washing over his features and also ashamed reddening his cheeks. “Ah, I’m glad. I’m sorry for, well touching you, it wasn’t my intention to startle you like that. I just wanted to, well help you.”

“Don’t sweat it,” You munch a blue one until you had an idea. “Would you like one? It’s from the red bag.”

“Eh?”

You gave the bottle a slight shake, emphasizing your offer. You just wanted to be nice, even though you were a bit selfish when it came to candy. Toshinori stared at your outstretched hand for a few seconds until he shook his head, with a friendly smile on his sharp cheeks he answered.

“Thank you but I’m afraid I’ve to decline.”

They weren’t dirty if he was thinking about it, but you didn’t insist, understand that not everyone would accept sweets from a stranger and less than an exotic dancer. It’s clear this man has never been in a strip club and you thought he was a gentleman, the way he blushed and how he apologized because he only touched you without your permission.

You weren’t sure if this man was acting or he’s truly a gentleman.

Working in this type of business has taught you a thing or two, actually, the other dancers had to teach because in your first months working in the cherry pop you were unbearably naïve. With the corner of your eye, you noticed the drinks, who the bartender was keeping guard. You assumed he was with some friends and he had to ask for them.

Conjuring a lovely smile, you thought it would be a great idea to play with him, to kill some time. Also, you wanted to see if really is a gentleman or just someone who’s pretending to be one.

“Are you with your friends?”

Your question caught him off guard, for a moment the blond thought you were going to go after that but you didn’t. And Toshinori wished you did, apparently, he forgot how to speak with another human being.

“I-I yes, I'm with some colleagues,” Toshinori replied while looking at the spot he got separate from Midnight. “They’re supposed to get a seat well uhm, for this.”

“Mhm, that’s good to hear.” You acknowledge as you leaned forward liking how the tall man was leaning backward. “I hope you and your friends like the show, it’s about to start again.”

Toshinori tilted his head a bit as he cocked a thin eyebrow. “There’s going to be a show?”

“Uh-hu! In this club we throw something different each week, tonight we’re going to throw some Lip sync and, and- what the heck,” Your eyebrows pinched in confusion, you had to stretch your neck to observe a dancer who was making strange gestures, and towards you. Comprehension showed in your features since that weird dancer was actually your friend Mamacita, who was still making you wild gestures and they must mean ‘honey, it’s time to go!’

“I really, really must be going, it’s time to get ready for the show.” Taking your cold drink from the bar and carefully you chug it down, you don’t want to ruin your make up.

“Right, of course, you’ve work to do.” Toshinori nodded but it sounded so awkward. “Oh, let me help you.” He extended a bony hand for you and you gladly took it, shinning a grateful smile for his help you step down from the colorful bar when your shoes touched the ground you shook the imaginary dust of your skirt but you only did it with only one hand since the other was occupied, being held by the tall man.

You didn’t know his name and you didn’t want to know, it is for sure you would never see HIM again. You huffed amused again by his attitude, apologizing to you again while he let go of you.

You wave it off with a shrugged off your shoulders.

“I’m off. I hope you enjoy the show, see you later⁓” You sashay away, swaying your hips just a bit, knowing well the adorable and awkward man was watching your behind. And Toshinori scolds himself for letting your hips create some filthy thoughts, with an annoyed huff he paid the drinks and walked away with them. It wasn’t difficult to locate a wild Yamada who chatted heartily with other dancers just like Nemuri, who was clearly seducing some dancers.

“Ah, Yagi-san! For a moment we thought you bailed on us!” Nemuri exclaimed as she scooted, patting the red cushion beside her, gesturing for the blonde to sit.

“Yeah, we’d to fight some punks for this spot!” Yamada added, taking the jar and giving a sip to the golden liquid. Toshinori’s face paled, looking between the two heroes.

“Wait, please don’t tell me you actually fight?”

Nemuri gasped after she gulped a tequila shot, faking indignation. “You offend mesir, I would never!”

“We only talked and rudely, they left after Nemuri threaten them. Nothing special.” Hisashi added. “

Toshinori sighed, they definitely going to be their death.

“Ah, c’mon Yagi-san! But guess what? These lovely ladies told us there’s going to be a show! Some type of competition?”

One of the dancers dressed as high schooler giggled at the forgetful expression of Yamada, so she explains. “That’s right, that’s right! Every girl needs to throw a little dance to the audience with their most wild movements and at the end, we see who wins!”

Hizashi and Nemuri were interesting about who was going to be in this little show and the “high schooler” cheerfully began to name them. Mamacita, Divine, Coco, there were so many creative names the blonde wondered which one would be yours, not the real one of course because he assumed it was important for all the dancers to maintain their privacy. The excited shrieks of Yamada and Nemuri took him out of his mind, apparently, they were going to start with the show and surely they would have a good look since their table was a bit close to the stage.

“Good evening lady and gentleman!” the DJ started announcing. “I hope everyone is having a good time in our cherry pop because is about to get spicy up in here!”

The crowd broke into applause and whistles, ready to enjoy what the dancers were going to demonstrate tonight. Toshinori breathed a chuckle, amused by the exaggerated applause of the other two heroes and he was also curious about this show.

“Alright, alright! Just a little briefing for any new here: our girls have to show off their best routines and the one with the most applause is the winner!” Now without further a due let me present our first girl!

To be judged by applause? It seemed fair, although Toshinori had some doubts he kept them to himself. What if two dancers have an amazing routine? Would they tie?

“Three times champion! Our heartbreaker, and cold goddess, Venus!”

Toshinori was startled by how the crowd broke into applause, the men jumped from their chairs and whistled like wolves when the aforementioned dancer came out from the curtain and paraded on the stage, showing off her attire. He threw kisses to the several men who tried to get their attention, sending them seductive smiles that are surely false, but a girl must always keep her act real.

Toshinori blinked owlishly

It was you, your name was Venus.

Well, your professional name in this case.

“Aight, settle down boys! Don’t make me call security.” The DJ warned, you also have to remember that it’s a place full of drunken men and surely some will try to cross the line with one of the girls. “Let’s get ready to fuck shit up, Venus!”

The music coming from the speakers vibrated in his body, he didn’t recognize the song but had a sensual rhythm, which you moved your hips to the rhythm of the song.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO CAUTIOUS

IF YOU PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH

COUNTING UP THE STACKS ON THE COUNTER

A FUCKING DISEASE!

You were not singing that is a fact, there were dancers in the place who could dance and sing at the same time. Either it was talent or surely it was a quirk related. You did your own routines in your home, playing the songs you liked and dancing in front of your huge mirror. Because there were too many times there were fights between girls, discussing movements that were copied.

Everyone was delighted with the movements of your hands, arms, and legs. Men threw bills on the stage or sometimes you took a one to put on your belts.

You were lip-synching Toshinori pointed because obviously that was not your voice and in the way, you exaggerated your lips a bit with the lyrics. And that made him be on the edge of his seat, making eye contact with the crowd was crucial because it shows you were confident in what are you doing.

DON’T ASK ME TO BE RIGHTEOUS

IF YOU PRACTICE WHAT YOU TEACH

COUNTING ALL YOUR BLESSINGS

THE SECONDS YOU’RE DOWN ON YOUR KNEES

You took off your skirt, throwing it behind you, eager to swing yourself with the metal tube.

SO WHY

WHY DON’T WE GET A LITTLE HIGH, HIGH?

Not so sweaty hands wrapped the cold metal and the memory of your muscles could lift you up, swinging with the rhythm of the song. That familiar red taste almost shot out of his mouth, men and women again broke into applause to your daring skills, Toshinori covered his mouth but his cerulean irises were glued to your figure, they did not leave your figure, which still moved with sensuality with the tempo of the music.

Shit

Holy shit

#bnha x reader #Toshinori Yagi x reader #all might x reader #Okay okaaay i'm aboout to hide under my bed #cause im too nervoues and i need to sleep #BYE #Toshinori Yagi #All might

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i-write-here-deal-with-it · 6 years ago

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Chapter 16 - Only Logan

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Summary - Fitting in isn’t what you would expect.

Warnings - None for this Chapter.

Tag List -

@virgil-has-a-houseplant

@thisrandomperson102

@v-blue-writer

@sanders-sides-shambles

@analogical-lovechild

@i-am-virgil-sanders

When Thomas mentioned Halloween it occurred to me that the reason for our ridiculous hair was because of the hair. It was not. Patton seemed to like the hair. Didn’t surprise me. Also didn’t make me like it. Roman liked it as well, although he wanted it to have been more extreme.

The others all wanted to hear what Virgil had to say on the matter. Thomas had to use the single most annoying voice ever to summon him. When he popped up he gave his concerns. After Thomas finished up reassuring him, Patton got me to agree the hair was a good thing because it was good for Thomas’s mental health.

Virgil tried to keep things positive, I think. He and Roman had a bit, and then Patton went off on one of his well-meaning tangents. I thought he was going to cry at one point.

Virgil expressed it colorfully but his main concern was that standing out with the hair wouldn’t be a positive experience. It was a fair point. Thomas didn’t feel the same way. He thought that being the odd one out wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Virgil rebuffed this by saying that being the odd one out wasn’t fun for him. Roman of course took this and said that we needed to show him that being the odd one out can be fun.

I was surprised by Roman. I didn’t know that he could articulate a point that well. Patton also surprised me with his big words.

Thomas and Roman started screaming about Harry Potter so that was fun.

Thomas then tried to walk Virgil through Harry Potter as if he didn’t know what it was. Which is strange because we all know what Harry Potter is. It was almost as if the explanation wasn’t for us.

He tried to move us on the next talking point, but he got interrupted by Patton. Who went off about spiders. Again.

Thomas was able to go back to the Hogwarts thing. I was confused about one thing. Thomas didn’t seem to realize the school wasn’t real. Part of me wondered if he still believed in Santa. Apparently as Roman said it was a metaphor.

Thomas wanted us to sort ourselves. Roman’s way may not have been perfect but it would have gotten the job done quicker. My mind was still focusing on the dreams. They hadn’t really gone away but they only happened when I slept now. Faces I know and don’t flash through my mind as well as other things. So no I didn’t immediately realize that flaws with how Roman sorted us.

Thomas didn’t agree, and neither did Virgil. He called us back up and Roman got scolded at for taking this lightly and missorting Virgil. It was rooted in bad reasoning, I suppose.

I may have been out of line with the crofter’s thing. I had seen a jar sitting out this morning and I guess it just kind of stuck. I have no idea why Roman went with it, but I never understand why he does anything.

I was willing to run with the sorting thing. If it would help Virgil, and make him feel like more a part of the group, then it was a good thing to do.

With that being said Thomas started with Gryffindor and defined the traits. Brave, chivalrous, and determined. Virgil wasn’t wrong when he suggested that Roman might not fit in there.

Ravenclaw was next. The wise and clever house. I guessed that would be where I would most easily fit.

Hufflepuff was next and they were defined as the kind, friendly, and loyal house. Virgil seemed a little shocked that Patton had liked what Roman said about him.

Finally we moved on to Slytherin. The ambitious, cunning, and strong leaders of the house that didn’t match up with Virgil at all. He had basically nothing in common with the house. Not that it’s a bad thing, he just doesn’t fit with the house.

Roman seemed shock and in his confusion he confused all of us two. I have no idea what is going on in his head that made him think of hecky heck five abs in on peck. I don’t even know what to say about him anymore. I mean he accomplished his goal, but still.

Patton made an offhand comment and Virgil of course took the self-deprecation route. I don’t think the issue was solved by Patton treating to fight him. Thomas got him calmed down but it was still a little bizarre.

I stand by sorting Roman into Slytherin. He values their traits, and definitely embodies them. Just because he thinks not being evil takes him out of the running for the house doesn’t mean it’s true.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when he sorted Patton into Ravenclaw. I may not have liked it, but it did make sense. Even with Patton putting me in Gryffindor. I get it. He’s adorable. I didn’t appreciate Thomas saying I had a short temper. At all.

Following the idea that we are all in different houses, Virgil would be in Hufflepuff. It’s not my fault no one bothered to clarify that. Here I was thinking that one side to one house. Even Patton agreed with me. I don’t know what that proves, but it proves something.

Virgil didn’t seem to be convinced, so Patton told him that he was a hard worker. Roman tried his best, but he almost insulted Virgil in the process. Thomas gave him a look I couldn’t hope to replicate.

Patton was still trying to convince Virgil that he fit. Virgil pointed out that he wasn’t really modest, just self-deprecating, and Patton tried to fight him for the second time. I moved it on to how he keeps things honest. Trust me he is very honest. Very.

Patton of course told him that two of the qualifications were patience and being impartial. Virgil immediately shot them down. He debated with Thomas for a second, and they decided it wasn’t a good fit.

The next sorting was Roman in Hufflepuff. The reasoning was based around Cedric Diggory. Thomas seemed to sway him more with the idea that they make the best (romantic) companions. Virgil made a dig on his insults, and then reassured him that he had noticed Roman’s effort to not insult him.

Roman placed me in Slytherin. I do think it fits me. Except for the disregard of the rules. Of course it came from a Gryffindor so I think that a bias was pretty obvious. Thomas did have a point about Gryffindor also being defined by another house but I digress.

Virgil put Patton in Gryffindor. Which seemed strange until I thought about it. Virge did have a point calling him impulsive. Thomas had to turn pointing into a joke. Which if you ask me is pointless.

Virgil was left with Ravenclaw. He still didn’t think it fit him despite our reassurance. It boiled down to the fact he didn’t feel he was innovative enough to solve the problems. He felt that it was an uncomfortable fit.

We all went back to the houses we felt most comfortable in. Which left Virgil. He wasn’t reckless enough for Gryffindor. He didn’t think he was friendly or impartial enough for Hufflepuff. He didn’t think he was a problem solver like those in Ravenclaw. Which I disagree with to a degree, but honestly he didn’t need an argument from me at that point. This left Slytherin. Which didn’t fit any better than the other houses.

Thomas, Patton, and I all gave him examples of people who didn’t fit how you would think. Harry Potter, Hermione, and Neville. Harry could have fit into multiple houses. Hermione prioritized bravery over knowledge. And Neville didn’t see himself the way the sorting house did.

He still didn’t believe it. I told him that he could be in one house with tendencies of another. Patton and the rest of them then started mixing metaphors. They brought franchises that really had nothing to do with Harry Potter, or the point we were trying to make. Fortunately Virgil seemed to get it.

I guess he wanted to be easier to understand. I can understand the feeling. Life would be so much easier if everything was cut and dry. But you can’t change life, or how easy you are to understand. Honestly I don’t think any of us our easy to understand with the secrets we keep. I know I’m not the only one with some kind of secret.

Thomas wrapped up his inspirational speech to Virgil just as I tuned back into the conversation. When Virgil made it known he was going to pick I was intrigued. I wasn’t truly surprised that he didn’t pick. I don’t think Thomas was either. He looked like a proud dad. Guess it was the Patton shining through.

I was slightly jealous that I had to participate, and he didn’t. I had much better things to do. But secretly I’m glad that we helped him feel like he fit in.

When Roman said he had an idea, I was not pleased with the idea of going back to the mind palace. The change of outfit wasn’t expected, but it was nice. I decided to take part. Patton did as well. And basically had the same logo only with a heart instead of a brain, like mine did. He basically stole my logo but it’s no big deal.

Which of course left Virgil. He was a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. But he did end going with a new outfit. It was something. Not my style, but then again none of them have ever dressed in my style. It seemed to work for him, which was the important thing.

After that mess was over I decided to clock out. I was officially done. I tried to leave, but Roman had to turn it into a word game. I could play the game, so I did. Patton however couldn’t. We left Virgil to have a one on one with Thomas.

The end card was fairly easy to make. It was a little hot under all the layers. It also had more jokes about the fourth wall than I would have liked. I figured with the mess that was the end card, it would be okay to end it with the joy that is Crofters. It’s amazing, you should definitely invest.

I went to my room, and fell into a fitful sleep. When I woke in the middle of the night I had one question. Why are the dreams still happening? Why can’t I just escape into the world of sleep?

#roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #anxiety sanders #morality sanders #Logic sanders #creativity sanders #Thomas sanders #sanders sides #my writing #fanfiction #fic #only logan

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homesteadchronicles · 7 years ago

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Ten Songs Tag

Tagged by my fellow muso, @lady-redshield-writes! Thank you so much for the tag, my friend! I am always up for discussing music. Plus, your answers were super insightful, and I found some new music to jam out to!

Any of my fellow musicians, instrumentalists, vocalists, or appreciator of the arts are hereby tagged, if they find themselves so inclined to participate!

RULES: Post ten songs you are currently obsessed with and explain what caused or created this obsession!

1. “New Rules” - Dua Lipa I’ve been obsessed with this song since I first heard it on my family vacation to Walt Disney World this past December and I still listen to it consistently. Dua Lipa’s voice could only be called angelic, with a falsetto rivaling that of Allen Stone - and from a female, such a feat is almost unheard of. It’s rare to find a song on the radio that actually rejects sleeping around with the wrong person and instead solidifying healthier habits, denying toxic lifestyles and emphasizing the importance of oneself instead. Way to go, Dua Lipa!

2. “In Shallow Seas We Sail” - Emery Emery holds a special place in my heart as a band that can encapsulate the angst plaguing young adults. Most artists resonate with middle/high schoolers, but Emery speaks to me more now as an adult than they would have when I was younger. Plus, that voice? Gorgeous. This specific song has so many layers to get lost within. To me, it truly portrays that feeling of drowning in the midst of waves.

3. “Isn’t He (This Jesus)” - Natalie Grant This song really grew on me. I’ve always loved Natalie Grant, but this didn’t click with me at first. My mom sent me a link to this, overly excited to see that she had released new music after the surgery on her throat. Thankfully, she didn’t pull a Julie Andrews and came out all the stronger because of it. At first, I thought the song was decent, but it never hit home with me. Even still, I kept putting it on repeat while I wrote and I soon found myself worshipping in the midst of writing sessions instead. There’s something so...pure about this song. It’s raw, it’s honest, it’s simple. It doesn’t feel the need to be flashy, which I admire.

4. “Skyfall” - Our Last Night (OPB. Adele) I thought I liked Skyfall when it first came out - and then I heard this rendition. HOO BOY, was I in for a surprise! One of my friends, who apparently knows OLN, has been telling me to listen to them forever now and I never did. I turned this on while out on a walk and jammed to their music the rest of the night home. If you like pop-punk covers of already-phenomenal music, you might need to give this a listen...and then to their “Shape of You” cover, too.

5. “Party Tattoos” - Dodie This song goes against everything I normally listen to and I still am unsure why I like it so much. My friend included it in their character playlist and I just kept it on loop for days. It’s this wonderfully peppy, easygoing song with a slightly morbid undertone to its meaning. Maybe the mystery intrigues me so much? If you’re into indie music, give it a listen.

6. “Let the Flames Begin (Live)” - Paramore Paramore formed one part of my musical holy trinity throughout my childhood (along with Fall Out Boy and Panic at the Disco), and even though I no longer connect to their newer music, they still hold a special place in my heart. I’m not normally a fan of live performances, beyond worship songs, but this specific song adds SO much more live than it does in the studio. Williams adds an extended outtro, starting with an epic instrumental solo, and then ending with a bang. That bang? A special song snippet named “Oh Father”. I belt it out every time without question or hesitation. This may or may not be a Kingdom Come character’s theme...for a future book.

7. “Nighttime Hunger” - Overcoats Believe it or not, @khymnal showed me this song and I cannot get it out of my head. The Overcoats have the most seamless, unified harmonies I may have ever heard. They blend together so effortlessly. Their voices are almost like sirens...the mermaid kind, not the police kind. I think a lot of people can relate to temptation lurking in the longer night comes, and this makes it both eerie and gorgeous instead of disturbing. And let’s be honest - isn’t temptation as enticing as it is unsettling? They captured the feeling perfectly.

8. “Birth of a Wish (Become as Gods)” - NieR: Automata I needed to include an instrumental game song on this list, and what better than what I play on repeat whenever I write a battle sequence for Kingdom Come? This idea that men want to become deities ties in perfectly with the themes of KC, and especially its central characters. The epicness of this music, and the way it makes me want to wield a sword and slay a dragon and save a princess in space all at once, only enhances its amazingness.

9. “Never Enough” - The Greatest Showman If you haven’t seen this movie yet, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. I cannot tell you how emotional I got as soon as this song came on the first time. I still listen to it all of the time, and am dying to hear my mom sing it (side-note: my mom is a ridiculously talented singer and she will never admit it). The power of the lyrics matches the power in her voice and it combines to form the most dynamic musical number I’ve ever heard in a theatrical film - and the best part? They didn’t even need choreography to enhance it.

10. “Where’s My Love (Alternate Version)” - SYML Did anyone else fall in love with this song during the Figure Skating portion of the Winter Olympics? As soon as I heard this, I downloaded the song. It’s this haunting melody accompanied by a gorgeous piano player and it just works. Listen to it if you feel like you want to cry about a lost lover you probably never actually knew.

Bonus: “Hang It Up (Abacus & Vargas ‘Predator’ Remix)” - The Ting Tings So, I only heard this after I’d already written up this post...but it’s the best. I freaking love this style, the likes of which I have only heard rivaled by the Shiny Toy Guns. My best friend and I listen to it every week while we prepare for our Monster of the Week podcast recording session and it fires us up every time.

#tag #tagged #tag game #song #music #adele #paramore #nier #nier automata #the greatest showman #dua lipa #emery #our last night #overcoats #syml #the ting tings #dodie

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thisistotesttheme · 4 years ago

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Ayo, it’s ya girl Stella and this is NOT a brand spanking new Lupin role play blog. This blog was established on 9/2019 well at least around that time.. All I remember is making this blog last year! lol So I will keep it that date until I am made aware of the exact date! In this tab you will find a set of Rules and Guidelines! I would really appreciate that you abide by them. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to message me. I am a very friendly person and I assure you I don’t bite.

I do not own Lupin or anything from the series Code; Realize.

The actions of Lupin made on this blog are made by me and have no associations with the original creators. Also, please do not compare me to other Lupin’s out there. I am already insecure about my writing, and if someone were to compare me to another, it would only cause my insecurities to grow.

All banners are made by me.

The icons I use on this blog are made by me, and I would appreciate it if you would not steal them. Thanks.

My best friend commissioned my theme, promo, banner, and dash icon. Eternalworks did them.

There is no password. Apparently, that’s a thing now?? I find it unnecessary and give you my trust that you read through this. Plus, I don’t feel the need to push people out of their comfort zones, and I like to let people come to me when they want to.

Common courtesy

This is a big one for me, and I really don’t need to explain it. This is something that everyone should have.

Threads

I can write one sentence up to a novel, it really depends on how things are going between our two characters. But I tend to write a lot more if both I and the mun established a plot amongst each other.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH MY LENGTH! Some times I get inspiration and allow my muse to take me away. So please do NOT feel like you have to match mine. As long as you give me something to work with and progress the thread it’s fine! I swear! So please do not stress yourself out.

I have the right to drop threads and starters / unwritten starters if I am struggling to find inspiration. Please do not take it personally, if I am unable to draw out a muse I don’t want to force it out causing me to stress. If that were to happen I would just feel obligated to RP instead of doing this for fun… Same goes for you as well! If you are having trouble writing with Lupin don’t be shy to tell me! I won’t take it personally. If anything we can try to figure something out! I just want both of us to be comfortable with one another.

Drama & Callouts

I will Not participate in any form of drama Point. Period. Blank. I will allow people to come and vent to me, but don’t expect me to talk shit back. What I can offer is a friend who is willing to listen and give you advice and the tools to move on from the situation.

If you try to involve me in any type of drama, I will unfollow and block you. I am on here for fun.

I will not reblog any call outposts on this blog, but I will read them, and if I see hard proof evidence on why that particular individual is being called out, I will support and block their blog(s).

Following

I will only follow back role play blogs that I am interested in roleplaying with. If you’re a personal blog, I am sorry, I just don’t want my dash to be cluttered with random posts. Also I don’t do follow for follow. I will go into everyone’s blogs and check them out. Though trust me, I usually end up following back every RP blog <3

Unfollowing & Blocking

I will unfollow if you

Break any of my rules

You don’t cut your posts

Tag your posts properly.

Cause drama

Steal

Don’t follow back

I will block you if

You cause drama

Steal

Or if I followed someone and they don’t follow me back. And the reason being is I WILL forget about them, and if their blog pops up again, I might accidentally follow them once more, not remembering that they had not followed back. I don’t want to seem like a creeper trying to get someone to follow back, so blocking them will help me from appearing like I’m desperate to get them to follow me.

I am highly private

And by that, I mean, I will only interact with my mutuals.

Interactions

Okay, I followed you for a reason, and that’s because WOW I am interested in you and how you portray your character(s). So please feel to send me any memes that I reblog. Or you can send me a random IC ask or reply to any open threads. Heck, you can even tag me in random posts or starters! I highly encourage it!! I really, really want to interact with you!

Formatting

When doing my replies I tend to make my font small, but if it’s straining to your eyes feel free to let me know! I will make note of it and make sure to leave it normal size for your comfort.

ASKS / MEMES

The anonymous feature is a privilege, so do not abuse it and ruin it for others. I know sometimes people can be shy sending asks so they use anon. But if I noticed someone is trying to harass me or send me hate I will disable it. So do not ruin it for others.

Speaking of anon hate, please do not send. 10/10 I will no respond to it. I will read it and once I start to realize it’s anon hate I will stop and delete it. Enough said. I will NOT engage with anon hate.

I do NOT care if you reblog a meme from me, as long as you sent me something. If you do not send me something please reblog from the source. If the source is no longer there go ahead and reblog it from me.

Tagging & Trigger warnings

Please take note that due to the contents of Code;Realize there will be mention of blood, gore, mutilation, and death. They will be tagged properly in this format TW | Blood, TW | Gore, TW | Mutilation, TW | Death.

I always go to my mutuals pages and make sure to go through their rules and see what triggers they have. But PLEASE realize that I am human and I may accidentally miss something! So do NOT hesitate to jump in either my ask or insta and give me a friendly reminder.

As for my triggers please tag any mentions of infant deaths, dead babies, and miscarriages.

ALSO, I WILL UNFOLLOW AND HARD BLOCK YOU IF I SEE YOU MAKING INSITIVE JOKES ABOUT THOSE SUBJECTS! EITHER IT BEING IN CHARACTER OR OCC. I DO NOT TAKE IT VERY LIGHTLY. I have many close people in my life who have gone through the heartache of losing their children, and pregnancies and it angers me to my core when I see people making light of the subject. I stood by their sides as they cried and cursed at the world, and I even held those precious angels in my hands. So call me sensitive or whatever the fuck you want. But I will not stand to see that shit on my dashboard.

Issues

If I have done something to rub you the wrong way, or have done something to make you uncomfortable, I can not stress this enough but PLEASE tell me. I want you to be comfortable with seeing me on your dashboard. I also most likely will NOT know what I did wrong and I would love to talk about it with you. Also that way it won’t happen again. Like I said this is supposed to be fun, and I want to make sure YOU’RE comfortable.

Shipping

This is a multiship blog, every thread is it’s own verse so if Lupin is in a relationship with someone it stays in that thread’s world and it will not leak on to other threads with different people.

He will not be shipped with underage people. If they are younger he will take on the role of a brotherly figure.

I also will NOT ship him when I am rp'ing him in his young verse. Example his Three houses verse where I rp him as 17 years old. Even if I am portraying him as a 17 year old I will NOT ship him with any of the students.

More to be added

Last updated 12/04/2020

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adelmortescryche · 7 years ago

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Fic Writers Week - Day One

Almost missed out on participating in time, because I’ve been sick and out of touch with the actual date. But! I noticed that it was the 11/26 in time, and here I am, @ficwritersweek. (you’ve probably already heard it a whole lot, but. this is such a lovely idea.)

Day 1: Words of Validation

There’s always those comments that stick, the ones that help you push through a story or personal favorites that you just have to reread from time to time. Writers, this is the day to share some of those!

Since it’s day one and I’m a writer/creator alongside being a reader, I just wanted to give a shout out to all the wonderful people who choose to read and comment on my stuff! I wish I could just name everyone who’s commented or left a kudos on my fics, but that probably isn’t too feasible in terms of post length, eh. *wry grin*

I used to be better at responding to people immediately, but health reasons, both mental and physical, have made it harder for me to reply as quickly or as often as I used to. But the comments I’ve received have not only given me something to look forward to, but they also fill me with joy and delight, almost leaving me feeling euphoric, because they let me know that I’ve made other people happy. And have given them something to be excited about.

I’m hesitant to add actual screenshots or too many long-running excerpts from people’s comments, since I know not everyone is comfortable with what they say being aired in a relatively public setting like this, but let’s see how to show some appreciation anyway. I’ve given excerpts where I can, too.

Here’s a couple commenters and comments that stuck with me, over time. I don’t actually know if all of you are on tumblr, but if you (or anyone else who recognizes you) are here and happen to see this, hit me up so I can tag you properly? *winces* Sorry for how long this got, guys, I found it really difficult to control myself!

MidnightCharm18188, whose comment on He Says She Says made me almost ridiculously happy. The fic was written when I was a lot younger and a lot more confused about my own orientation, etc., so having someone show up and tell me it felt like a relatable and realistic description of asexuality made me very relieved. And made it easier to consider writing other asexual takes on characters, like Tsuna in Cloud!Tsuna, well after this fic was posted.

@typervoxilations (here’s hoping this is actually your tumblr, since I’ve only interacted with you on ao3) - she’s shown up on a bunch of my KHR fics and dear god, comments like hers make me happy to be a writer. Long, ramble-y, filled with lots of thoughts about the canon and how it relates to the fic, and seemingly ready to throw ideas back and forth any time. *grins* Bless you for whatever you’ve said to me till date, friend, even if we don’t talk as much as we used to!

@msleilei for what they said on my fic On Courting, and actually leaving a review on both ffnet and ao3. Angsty X27 really is rare these days, isn’t it. Or it used to be, at least. There were so many oddly fluffy X27 fics coming out around the time I posted this fic, so your comment made me laugh out loud. *grins*

Like...dude. I'm just sitting here, browsing through the list and I saw an angsty X27 and I'm like, that's rare nowadays so I'm curious and holy mother of god I didn't even stay for the X27, I'm mostly impressed with how you told their story and how you built the world... it's fucking amazing I mean seriously. Ugh. I can't even express myself properly

Hope for what they said on my fic On Courting, because it managed to capture so many thoughts I had in my head while writing the fic.

Therefore this story is in all honesty the very antipodal of what I loved about the series. It's raw in the most honest and inconceivable way whether it be about the workings of the mafia or in the portrayal of the emotional and mental damage experienced by the individuals all originating from the strain of the mafia. The story is intricate with layer upon layer in ways the manga never was, the characters are no more two dimensional than me or you, they exude complexity, unprecedented. So when I read it for the first time months ago, it left me utterly taken aback. It was everything I hadn't sought out in the manga, but I loved every single damn thing about this story.

Friend, even if you never see this post, you made me happy to have posted that fic. Since it’s the first purely KHR fic I ever wrote.

Tripucchi, whose comments make me scream when they show up. Every damn time, seriously.

Witch of Perception, who’s left comments on even my weirder fics. Thank you for everything you’ve said, I grin rather happily whenever I see a comment from you pop up. Especially this one from Expectations, though, because it was one of those fics that I really hesitated to post. For obvious reasons, I think. And this comment made me happy to have bitten the bullet and posted it.

To be quite honest, I mostly read this because you wrote it. It wasn't something I'd have clicked on without some other incentive (in this case, it's that I know for a fact that I've loved everything I've read of yours, so I was practically guaranteed good writing), for all that I really like the idea of this OT3-- but man am I glad that I did.

I adored this Byakuran's characterization, and her relationship with this Tsuna. I love that sharp edge that you gave to this Tsuna, too, and the in-between conversations the two had, and what worldbuilding they gave. The Guardians' bickering and bantering was fun; I loved this Kikyou... and this Gokudera and Yamamoto. Basically everyone and everything. So, all in all I'm very glad you posted this. I feel like there isn't nearly enough of this pairing, and certainly not enough of this OT3. Thank you for the story, and I look forward to the other one.

asoftheart, who left me with this gem in Amber Heart, the first part of my Cloud!Tsuna series.

Okay so I finally got around to reading this and god was it perfect! The more of your KHR pieces I read the more delighted I become. I feel like I'm discovering Lys Ap Adin and Branch's works all over again!

Do I need any more reasons to want to squeak with joy about it? Do I? No, I don’t think I do. And yet the rest of your comment made me squeal loudly anyway.

Temper Tantrum and narue naru chan, for leaving comments on all my KHR fics, one after another, in what seemed like a single sitting. I was watching my inbox with wide eyes and a lot of glee, guys, thank you for blowing it up.

StarryNightSkyinaBottle, for their comment on It Takes Two.

This story absolutely enraptured me, I was giddy the whole way through. The flow dragged me along for the ride and the feeling of dread and of loneliness broke my heart. When it was revealed that it was HDW!Tsuna taking over the whole time, I wanted to shout to the rooftops (but i shan't, bc it's 6:47am and I don't want to wake anyone up). I had a bit of an inkling when "Self sabotage. It had to be." popped up, that part also broke my heart, but it definitely opened the doorway to figuring out the whole story and I love you for that.

I haven’t had the chance to respond to you on ao3 yet, but here I am saying that your comment captures so much of what I was trying to put across in the fic. Thank you.

aHostileRainbow, for their comment on Age as Fireflies at Dusk, because it made me cackle rather maniacally. With a whole lot of empathy, too, because THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I REACTED TO OTHER WRITERS I KNOW GETTING INTO THE YOI FANDOM DAMNIT.

What the fuck am I doing here I am not in this fandom at all but you wrote an amazing SAO crossover and now I'm hooked and I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR ANOTHER FANDOM YOU TERRIBLY TALENTED PERSON. This is unfairly lovely.

bonehandledknife(lady winter)’s comment on c.02 of A Heart of Blades, which was a transcript of a real time chat they had with a friend while reading this chapter. I can’t even begin to describe how excited I was while reading this comment, seriously. I think I self-combusted with delight. And it’s sadly not in a format conducive to excerpts, and is probably too long to screenshot to share here. Friend, I suspect I might have scared you off with my exuberance, but know that the comments you left on this fic made me very happy.

hundredpercentwool’s comment on c.02 of A Heart of Blades.

...This image signals what the dynamics of their relationship will be like in the this AU, with Victor being Victor, but Yurri being more of a pillar of strength that Victor can lean on. I do think that they can or will be alternatively leaning on each other for their various weaknesses and personal demons. In Canon, Yuuri leaned on Victor more than the other way around and it was Victor descending to Yuuri from the heavens like some divine being to be his coach. But in this AU, it was more like Yuuri appearing to Victor in his numb despair, like a Muse appearing to an artist, and Victor really throwing himself after Yuuri because Yuuri seems to have some kind of secret strength about him that amazes Victor.

This is just an excerpt, but this comment helped me cotton onto something that I hadn’t actually noticed while writing the fic myself! Talk about comments that are inspirational and food for thought, whoof. Thank you so much, Elaine.

@onceabluemoonwrites, whose comments leave me with an unhealthily red face and a heart full of joy. How in the world am I supposed to give any excerpts of your comments, friend, you build them so well with fic-excerpts and gifs and reactions and- aaaah.

@voxofthevoid, for their comment on With War Drums Blazing. We didn’t actually know each other too well when you left this comment, D, so in retrospect I know exactly why you reacted this way to it. But I’d just been happy to get a comment that captured what I loved about the idea, back then. *grins*

I adore the altered dynamic here and am glad to hear it's high on your list on probable long fics. Yuuri as Death is a wonderful concept and his softer and sharper sides are wonderful representations.

Viktor, with that weird blend of efficiency and remorse, makes a fascinating character and it's amazing how much you've packed into these few thousand words.

And, obviously, @insanescriptist, who’s probably the singular cause of the majority of my weirder KHR fic ideas. Including the ones that I haven’t actually managed to finish writing and posting yet. I hope I’ve made obvious just how much fun I have throwing ideas back and forth with you, friend. SO much fun. I can’t even mention individual comments - I love them all. And they feel like a conversation, anyway, so it’s probably redundant to mention individual comments...

Again, thank you everyone who’s left me comments on my fics! Even if I haven’t mentioned you by name here, I read every comment I get. And they all make me squeal and flail in happiness. And make me run about telling everyone who’ll listen about the lovely words I’ve received. I mean, look at all you lovely people, taking the time to talk about why you like what you’ve read. You’re all so-

For all that my responses have slowed down because of ill health, as mentioned above, I hope to get back to all of you! Tumblr seems to be making me a bit more active and interactive, at the least, so there’s that. *awkward grin*

#ficwritersweek #day one #katekyo hitman reborn #yuri!!! on ice #khr #yoi #comments #i appreciate each and every one of you guys #you're so kind to me #even if ive gotten terrible about responding #i will respond #i will #reader appreciation #harry potter #hp #tagging that even if there's only one fic mentioned from that fandom #stop with the self flagellation adel #this is supposed to be a happy post

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baronvontribble · 7 years ago

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Original drabble, pt. 7

Navigation: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

looool

Faking a cough and telling his boss that he needed a few days off was easy. Writing an email to the his contact down the pipeline and telling them that he'd need a few weeks was much, much harder. The wording had to be just right; they didn't really have specific codephrases or anything, but they never said anything outright either. He went through several drafts before finally settling on one that he was satisfied with.

em-

gonna have 2 postpone that lunch date downtown this weekend. got a helluva leak & the landlord wont do shit so im gonna have to fix it myself. will hit u up when i have the time again

-marshmallow

ps: ill pay for ur train tickets dont worry

He leaned back in his chair and stared at it, letting out a nervous breath. "That'll work, right?"

"It looks appropriately misleading to me," Adam said.

"Emily's a smart kid, I've worked with her before. She should be able to pick up on it." Ted folded his arms and continued to stare at the message. "And hopefully it'll just look like I'm postponing a date with an out-of-town girlfriend to anyone else."

"I noticed it's a different email than the one tied to your phone."

"Always has been. I've got what, five different emails now?" He shifted in his seat, joints creaking from spending too long in his computer chair. He hadn't really moved too much since that morning, and it was well past noon by then. He'd been making sure he could deliver on what he'd promised. "The phone's the weakest link. Thing is, the messenger's the only thing installed on it, and no one in the pipeline uses that particular app for messaging since it's dated as shit. Mom uses it, but that's about it, and I doubt she's gonna rat me out even if she finds out what I do."

"How can you be sure of that?"

Ted smirked. "She works at a hospital that's run almost entirely by robots. Divorced my dad over it being a good idea to do shit like that to begin with. I'm pretty sure I know what side of the fence she's on with the whole AI thing."

"I see." That was all he had to say on that, apparently. After that little freak-out earlier, Adam didn't seem to be in all that wordy of a mood. But then, he was busy trying to tag still images with what he saw in them in another tab, so Ted wasn't about to hold it against him.

Well, it wasn't like Ted lacked for conversation topics. "How's it going so far? The tagging, I mean."

"Badly." A few seconds later he broke his non-chatty streak to elaborate, "I'm going by colors for now. I opened up a second page that helps me match hexadecimal codes to both specific and generic color names, but that's usually as far as I get. It doesn't help that lighting seems to have an effect on what appearance a given base color might take."

And the dumbass was probably sampling those colors pixel by pixel, too. Using brute processing force was one way to master the process, Ted supposed.

"Don't feel bad if it takes a while. You'll get the hang of it."

"You sound way too amused by this."

"Who, me? Never. I'm the very essence of stoicism."

Adam had a smile in his voice when he spoke again. "Liar."

"Yeah, alright. You caught me." Ted stretched out in his chair and stifled a yawn, joints popping as they flexed beyond where they probably should. "I'm just happy you're figuring it out. I mean, even just realizing that you can cross-reference is a step in the right direction."

"It would be easier if I knew what I was looking at."

"Want me to help?" Partway through the process of typing his email, Ted had realized that the help he could offer might not be so well-received. He didn't want to make things harder than they already were; he had to be tactful, wait for permission. He couldn't just insert himself into proceedings like he so often did. This was a delicate situation. He knew that now.

Or he could be overthinking it. Adam couldn't quite sigh, but he could portray some semblance of relief in his voice. "I'd appreciate it," he said; a moment later, the laptop had been tabbed in to the correct window so Ted could participate. "Try to restrain yourself from giving bad answers to fuck with me. This data has to be accurate."

"I know, I know." Ted did know. Really. "But gimme a minute, okay? I'm gonna plug in my mouse so I can use it to point things out to you."

"Right."

And so it began.

The images were little more than stock photos, and the 'game' was to tag as many details as possible. Matching up with what other people had tagged it with meant a better score. Ted was observant to a fault, so his results with such things in the past had been mixed at best as he sometimes noticed things that no one ever bothered to tag. This made it all the more viable as a learning tool, because not only was Adam learning what other people tagged the image with and why - seeing what an average person might be able to glean from it - but he was also having the tiny details pointed out to him by someone who was way too anxious to not notice basically everything.

Since the goal was not just to get Adam to be able to notice details, but to also have him act convincingly human while doing so, this gave him a reasonable benchmark for what he could mention he'd noticed to an average person without looking like he had a weirdly photographic memory with the perfect ability to recall anything and everything. To Ted, this was step one. The average person sees a duck in a pond - maybe even identifying the duck as a mallard - while the hyper-observant person sees that it's overcast and around midday from the sky's reflection in the pond's surface or that there's a gum wrapper and a bit of soggy bread clearly visible in the murky water near the detritus-littered shore.

It was the photos of people that were really a nightmare for Adam. For all his ability to pick up on all the tiny nonverbal cues present in an audio recording, he couldn't so much as even guess at gender presentation of random people in stock photos, let alone their expressions or body language. Ted had to walk him through every last detail, and these were the prettiest, most unambiguous sorts of human beings to boot. The photos were dominated by tall, broad men with either lantern jaws or facial hair, and soft, curvy women with round faces and perfect contouring; women had long hair, men had short hair, and children were dressed as either very male or very female to match the adults. Ted found them obnoxious.

And that wasn't even getting into indicators of disability or profession or anything. Just once, he'd like to see more average people pop up in these things. He was downright relieved to get back to pictures of sheep and grass and flowers and buildings and boats whenever he got done with tagging a person. Not-people didn't bother him nearly as much.

Either way, somewhere along the line he lost track of time completely.

"You should eat something," Adam said out of the blue at one point. Ted straightened up in his chair and shot a glance at the clock in the corner of the laptop's screen, only to frown at it like it'd betrayed him.

It was almost three in the afternoon already? Christ. "Probably," he admitted, stretching out with a slight wince. "Feel like you're making progress yet?“

"I don't know. How do you 'feel' progress? It seems like something that should have a clearer definition than to just feel it."

"Hey man, don't knock feelings. They've got definitions, those definitions are just subjective as fuck." Ted was smiling as he said it, mirroring what he'd heard in Adam's own voice. Both of them were joking. Adam knew full well what Ted had meant, he was just taking a jab at the presentation. "Do you think you've made progress so far?"

"Yes." Adam sounded terribly smug, as if to say see? That was all you had to say. "It's slow, but once I know what I'm looking at, it makes things easier."

Ted shoved off from the desk and stood, taking another moment to stretch. "Cool. Then I'm gonna make some pizza rolls."

Off he went. "Those are bad for you," Adam said as he wandered off. "Humans need nutrients. Pizza rolls are not nutritious."

"Don't care," Ted replied. Along with the pizza rolls, he made sure to retrieve a soda out of the fridge as well just to be contrary. It was hard to care about minor health hazards when he so often had major ones to worry about, and people telling him that he probably should care only made him less likely to do so. "It's calories. It'll work as a stand-in for lunch until I get to dinner."

"I don't think that's how nutrition works." Several seconds passed as Ted wrestled with the packaging, got a plate, and put everything in the microwave.

"Ted. I looked it up. This isn't food, Ted. It has about the same value as eating cardboard."

"Ayep." Ted cracked open the soda and took a swig as he turned on the microwave and let it spin.

"Do you do this often?"

Ted snorted. "Uh, do you really want me to answer that question?"

"According to this site, when the potential long-term effects of such a poor diet are combined with your outward symptoms - such as being the wrong color for a human - it's a strong indicator that your kidneys are probably failing." Adam spoke as if he felt he was the absolute voice of authority on this, and Ted shook with silent laughter as he leaned against the counter. "I think you should get bloodwork done."

"Dude." Good God, what kind of website had Adam even managed to find? Ted felt like he was talking to his grandparents after they'd spent three hours on an online medical journal and decided he looked like he had some obscure genetic disorder that would give him pulmonary fibrosis (whch he didn't). "That 'being the wrong color' thing? It's genetic. I have practically no pigmentation. It's not gout or scurvy or whatever the hell you've found on the internet, just albinism and shitty lighting."

Silence reigned for at least ten full seconds. "I see."

"I take vitamins, alright? And I know my diet isn't all that great, but it's not like pizza rolls are all I eat." He was about to say something about how Adam had seen him eat other things, but then he remembered that Adam couldn't actually see all that well. "Besides, if there was something in my bloodwork, my doctor woulda told me last time I had a checkup. See, unlike some humans, I get those pretty regularly."

"Right." Then, "I'm sorry."

"What for, man? I'm not mad. Hell, at least you care." He'd take a little overworrying anyday if it meant someone was at least trying to understand his problems. It was kinda cute. Big tough super high-tech AI worrying about a squishy human. "And y'know, if you wanna know what's actually wrong with me, all you gotta do is ask."

The microwave beeped, and Adam considered. "You'd tell me that?"

"I tell people all the time."

"No, that's not-" He cut himself off mid-rendering, and Ted raised an eyebrow over in the direction of the living room while pulling the pizza rolls out of the microwave. "Isn't that like telling me how your code is written?"

Huh. Ted had never thought of it that way. "Not really. It's more like, uh... I guess I figure that telling you what versions of what software is running isn't exactly going to give you access to any of the passwords protecting my data, but it will tell you how to work with what I've got going on." Was that an accurate analogy? This barrier to understanding really did go both ways.

The fans weren't quite roaring, but they were definitely humming away audibly in the background; it was always so easy to tell when Adam was mulling something over. "Yes, I would like to know. If that's all right."

"Fine by me." With a plate in one hand and a drink in the other, Ted came back to the not-a-desk and plopped right back down in his chair. "For starters, look up Ehlers-Danlos syndrome."

A minute later Adam asked him how the hell he was alive, and he almost breathed a mouthful of pizza roll.

#no one cares andy #original characters #original writing #robot and marshmallow

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lady-une · 7 years ago

Text

Chapter 10

Well here it is people, the next chapter in Jay and Sarah’s painful love story. I have read this over and over and still feel like an epic bitch for writing this. I wanna thank my beautiful beta @tears-of-orphans for all her comments on this chapter as she read it because it really helped me feel a bit better. As always please leave me some comments or send me an anon ask just letting me know how you felt about this chapter. Aslo please share away. Just an FYI i am going to take a couple of days and just plot out the rest of this story because its at that point these two need to make their final choices before the rest of the story is wrapped up. I hope you all enjoy!

Sarah

Saturday morning came and it was even more hectic than I thought it would be. I arrived at the venue and was rushed into the back area where I was washed, buffed, and waxed. I never imagined they did these kinds of things for a fashion show, I had always figured the people showed up and went into hair and makeup before being thrown into the clothes. I was given the undergarments that would go well with the clothes before they made me try on each outfit making sure there were no last-minute alterations. When they were satisfied that everything fit properly they put us in silk robes and had us do a mock run on the catwalk while they also did the sound check and lighting. All of the girls and guys participating in the show were very friendly and helped me with any questions I had about the process.

When it was getting closer to the show they had us all gather in the back so Ji Soo could give her speech about how much this meant to her and how much she appreciated all of us being here with her. The music started and it was our cue to get in our first set of clothes.

Jay

When we arrived at the venue we took our time walking down the red carpet stopping for pictures here and there. Some wanted pictures of the AOMG team as Gray, Loco, and Chase had also joined me being that Sarah was in the show and Gray was set to perform at the after party. Other reporters wanted pictures of me with Beam, she of course was also invited and tagged along with me not wanting to miss the opportunity to be captured on film hanging off my arm. This little arrangement I had with her was starting to bore me, when I first started this it was only to help me distance myself from Sarah and rid her from my mind. Baem was only supposed to be a distraction but then I was offered a spot on a show and things just got complicated from there. All I wanted to do was cut my ties with this woman, I hated how she was acting thinking something more would come from this. I knew her goal and like hell would I ever settle down with this woman, her nickname fitted her perfectly because she really was a snake. I was still very much confused with everything going on between Sarah and me, I very much so wanted her every time I saw her but I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Plus there was the issue of Gray, he was infatuated with her and I hated that me pushing her away only pushed her into his arms. I wanted her to be happy but damn it if the sight of those two together didn’t make me extremely jealous.

The flashing lights from the cameras brought me back to the present as Baem tugged on my arm leading me towards the entrance to the venue. We were shown to our seats which were front row giving us the best view possible of the catwalk. The music was playing a mixture of hip hop and some remixes of other pop songs but making them sound a little more edgy then the original version. I sat next to Baem and Gray sat next to me followed by Loco and Chase.

“Jay baby will you buy me some clothes?” 

I rolled my eyes, “Don’t you have your own money?” 

“I do but it will look and feel better when I know my boyfriend bought them for me.”

“Fine, I will buy you one outfit. Baem don’t be like those other women out there living off their man’s money. My money needs to be spent on more important things then items for you. God this is why I don’t date.”

Baem’s hand started to snake its way up my arm to my neck where she tried to pull my face to hers but I held back. “Don’t say that, I will give you a little reward later tonight.”

I knew she was trying to sound sexy but it only made my skin crawl for some reason. The sex between us these days hasn’t even been enough to keep me entertained, hell my dick isn’t even getting hard thinking about this reward. “Don’t worry about it.”

The lights dimmed down and the music got louder. The catwalk lit up and the models started walking out one by one taking their time to stop for pictures at the end of the catwalk before they turned and walked back down giving the opposite side a chance to also see the garments. When the women started coming out Baem took her phone out and started taking notes of which clothing she liked best.

I felt her lean in and whisper in my ear, “These night club garments are going to be a big hit in the club scene I am sure of it.”

I turned my head to respond to her comment when I heard Gray and Loco making a fuss next to me.

“Who let her wear that? She can’t be in that!” 

“What are you talking about Loco, she looks amazing!”

“The hell she does, she is like my baby sister and that is too much, well really it’s too little for her to be wearing.”

I turned my head and there she was walking like she owned the cat walk. She was in a attention grabbing outfit that fit her style perfectly. I started at her feet to see her in a pair of black heeled boots that had the heels made up of metal with spikes sticking out. The heels made her legs look like they went on for days until they met with a black short skirt. It was so short that had she fallen or bent over you would have been able to see everything she attempted to hide. Picturing her bent over my desk in that skirt had me adjusting my position in my chair. I continued up and paused when I saw the handcuffs on the belt. I smiled wondering how those had returned, clearly, she was feeling like the bad ass bouncer she was back home. My view continued it’s way up to the shirt that really wasn’t a shirt but some kind of tube top flimsy thing that hugged her too tight. She wore a vest over the top that barely covered her and again there were spikes prominent on the shoulders. Around her neck was a black leather choker that had little handcuffs in the front. Her eyes were dark and smoky while her hair was tightly pulled back into a bun. Gone was the sweet little princess that Gray had everyone envisioning her, no instead here walked a woman dark and deliciously sinful, she was truly the baby girl of my fantasies. I again shifted in my chair feeling my dick get hard at the thought of her moaning out my name, I tried to make the shift look as normal as possible but Baem noticed.

“Look a little girl is playing dress up. She shouldn’t really be here, this is for grown women and not some little kid. Who even allowed her to do this.”

I nodded my head, not because she shouldn’t be here for that reason but because I didn’t want people to see what I have always seen. Part of me was still very much selfish and was wanting to keep her hidden from the prying eyes of every male in here. I closed my eyes and reminded myself that I can’t act foolishly no matter how much she turned me on. When I opened my eyes, she was just coming back down the cat walk and our eyes connected for a brief second and I wish I saw happiness in them but I didn’t, all I saw was pain. The same thing that I have been seeing since I started to pull away and distance myself from her, more so now since I had my way with her in my office. I hated seeing that look in her eye and hated myself for being the one to put it there. Whenever I saw that look I regretted my choice to distance myself, all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was for everything.

Sarah only came out a few more times in less revealing clothes. Ji Soo was very talented with designing the clothes and I made a note to ask her to design some clothing for the crew. Sarah came out in some every day clothes and in some business attire that made her look even more delicious then first one. She looked like every male’s office fantasy come to life with a tight pencil skirt and long heels. I licked my lips as I watched her walk by making a mental note to ask Ji Soo to gift that particular outfit to Sarah, I would pay Ji Soo any amount she wanted as long as

I got to see that on her body again.....preferably before they lay strewn across my floor. I crossed my arms over my legs and bent forward trying to hide the bulge that would be pretty evident if anyone looked closely. The last outfit of the night was formal wear and Sarah had on a thin black dress that could easily double as lingerie if it was only shorter. It was a classic dress and the accessories were minimal allowing her beauty to shine through.

“I may have to buy that one.”

I heard Gray say to Loco quietly but I easily heard him. I held back the growl and clenched my fists at the thought of Gray watching Sarah up close with that dress on. The music changed after the last model walked into the back and then the lights got brighter as Ji Soo walked out to bow and thank everyone for coming. When she went into the back the lights came on all the way and everyone slowly made their way to where the after party was going to be held. Gray said he would meet up with us later as he ran to the back to get ready for his performance. He was only going to perform a couple of songs and the rest of the music would be handled by a DJ. I again allowed Baem to link her arm with mine and drag me to the next room.

Gray

I walked in the back area and found Ji Soo talking with some models, I looked around for Sarah to talk to her but didn’t see her. I waited for Ji Soo to finish talking before I approached her to congratulate her on an amazing show and of course to put a request in for the black dress she had Sarah in.

“Of course she can have it! I am sure she will put that dress to good use during the award show season.”

“Oh for sure she will. Where is she by the way?” 

“She is changing into another dress, I had one made especially for the after party. Why don’t you go get changed, I had some clothes made up for you as well.”

I thanked Ji Soo before I was shown the way to change into my clothes still not being able to see Sarah.

Jay

The DJ was playing some music that I wasn’t paying attention to as I scanned the crowd for my baby girl. I wanted to congratulate her on how amazing she was and how beautiful she looked up there. I saw Ji Soo enter and was swarmed by reports taking pictures of her and asking her questions. I left Baem and the guys back as I walked up to Ji Soo and pulled her into a hug congratulating her and allowing the reports to take some pictures of us together. I asked her where Sarah was and she pointed across the room just as she entered. She was in a dark blue almost black silky dress that had a long slit up the side of her leg. The top of the dress hugged her chest and was held up by some straps that hung off her shoulders. When she turned around to wave at someone I noticed the back of her dress was open fully and went dangerously low to the point that some black lacy material that I assumed were her panties showed with her movement.

“Oh no she forgot the necklace, excuse me.”

Ji Soo ran back to the dressing rooms to fetch the necklace as I stood there watching Sarah walk and talk to some random people. The room was filled with celebrities from both the music and acting industry, hungry male gazes were trained on her as she went from person to person talking to them. When I saw her stopped by the actor Kim Woo Bin I felt something inside me stir to life, I knew this particular actor was one of her favorites and she often fawned over him and his roles in the dramas. I watched her laugh softly at something he said just as he put his hand behind her back and lead her towards the bar. I wanted to break that hand off him for touching what didn’t belong to him. I was about to move when I heard Ji Soo come back from behind.

“Jay can you please help her with this, I need to help one of the models in the back.”

“Sure thing.”

She handed me the necklace before she ran back and I made my way towards Sarah. She was laughing and letting her hand rest on his arm to help stabilize herself. When I got closer I cleared my throat to get their attention.

“Good evening Sarah.” I smiled before looking up at the male sending him a look that told he him to get. “Good evening Mr. Kim.”

He coughed a little saying a reply before he excused himself. I was able to turn my attention to Sarah who didn’t look too happy to be see me.

“Well that was rude, I was talking to him.” 

“I saw that, he looked as if he was enjoying himself a little too much with your company. Safe to say you were as well.” 

She scoffed and went to turn away but I grabbed her hand stopping her. “Wait Ji Soo wanted me to help you with a necklace you forgot.” 

Her hand went up noticing she did in fact forget it. “Oh, I can’t believe I forgot it.”

I walked behind her and moved her hair to the side giving me access to her neck. I brought the necklace around her neck and clasped in the back before my hands came to her hips holding her in place as I whispered in her ear. “You looked absolutely breathtaking up there baby girl. That first outfit was perfect for the sassy little kitten in you. But it was that office outfit that probably had every man in here hard as a rock.” I pushed my bulge into her ass to emphasize my point. “You have no idea how hard it was to not jump up on that stage and take you away over my shoulder. The things I had running through my mind of what I wanted to do to you would make even the dirtiest girl blush.”

I heard her gasp before she spoke, “Jay there are people here you can’t do this.”

“To hell with the people here, I want you so bad right now.”

I could feel her skin prickling with goosebumps as I knew she was being turned on with everything I was saying. “Come away with me baby girl, ditch this stupid party.”

The start of Gray’s music started playing which must have cleared her mind of the seductive haze I had her in. She pulled away and turned to me with a glare in her eyes and shook her head before she walked off. I was left there at the bar with a raging hard on needing my baby girl but she was already making her way towards the dance floor to watch Gray perform.

Sarah

I couldn’t believe he would pull such a stunt where everyone could easily see us. Yeah, he had me turned on but that wasn’t important. I saw him sitting next to the snake as I first came in. I saw the guys all smiling at me but my eyes were drawn to Jay with the suit he was wearing tonight. He looked amazing and I had only wished it was me he was with and not that snake. I noticed her glare at me as I made my way up and down the catwalk. I saw a waiter walking around with glasses of champagne and grabbed one as I made my way to the dance area to watch Gray perform. He looked so handsome in the jack and slacks that Ji Soo had made him, I smiled at him while I drank my drink. My hips were swaying to the beat as he started to jump around the stage hyping up the crowd. I felt him before he spoke, my body was stupid for this man even when my brain was very much against another round of intimacy with him. I felt his hand come around my waste as he came to stand next to me, he pulled me closer to him as I downed my drink.

“Has he even made his move yet on you?” 

My head shot to the side to look at Jay pissed at his question, “It’s none of your business.”

“Then he hasn’t.” “If you really need to know, yes and it was mind blowing. He had me screaming his name at the top of my lungs and had me unable to stand with how weak I was in the legs. He was the best I ever had.”

Jay’s grip on me tightened and I knew I hit a nerve, he looked at me with fire in his eyes and a growl in his chest. “Don’t play with me baby girl, I know your lying to me. Even if I haven’t known you your whole life I picked up on some things. Whenever you lie your eye twitches ever so slightly that you could miss it if you aren’t looking for it. So, I know damn well he hasn’t done anything that would make you scream out or weak in the legs.”

Fuck! I didn’t even know he had picked up on that, both of my dads use to laugh whenever I tried to lie to them because they also pointed out that little eye twitch. “We might not have fucked yet he has made a move, he made me feel good and that’s all that matters.” I turned my attention back to Gray and his performance.

“Don’t try and lie to yourself, yes he might have made you feel good but he won’t be able to make you feel the way I do. His voice and touch won’t ever set your skin a fire like mine does. Your body responds to me so well, I know exactly what you want and need.” He leaned in closer to my ear, “I bet your wet right now just thinking about me taking you in this dress. Just say the word baby girl and I will be the one to make you so weak in the legs that I will need to carry you to bed.”

I bit back a groan and shook from of his grasp turning and making a B line for the nearest exit. The venue was connected to a hotel and I knew there would be places for me to hide away from Jay or even to just catch a cab out of here. I didn’t want to just ditch Ji Soo on a special night so I took the hallway that lead to some other smaller meeting rooms, figuring if anything I could easily dip into one of them and wait for Gray to finish his song. As I was rounding the corner of the deserted hallway I felt my hand being grabbed and spun around to have my back hit the wall.

“Where do you think you are going baby girl.”

I thought I would have been able to hide before he found me but I guess I was wrong, “Away from you.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

“Because we can’t do this Jay, go back to the snake and leave me be. I refuse to play this cat and mouse game with you. I want to be someone’s first choice and priority, I am clearly none of those to you. I deserve that, I don’t need to be confused by you all the fucking time!” My anger was rising every second I was near him. “I won’t play this game with you! I refuse to and you need to get that sick twisted mine of yours straight. So what if I pick Gray over you, you pushed me away Jay! I was fucking happy with what we had going and it was you for some reason who went and started fucking around with that snake of a woman! You were the one being the jack ass towards me who didn’t do a damn thing to warrant such a treatment. So back the fuck up and let me live, let me go find someone who will make me their priority.”

“Even if I let you go to either Gray or some other guy they won’t make you feel the way I do.”

“It’s not always about sex Jay, god! Even if it was who are you to say they won’t have me screaming out in pleasure every night? It’s a two-way street Jay, with every bit of pleasure they give me I will return it tenfold. It will be them who I am on my knees in front of taking their dick in my mouth. It will be them who’s dick is milked by my pussy when it clamps down while I ride out my orgasm on them. It will also be them who gets to taste me whenever they please. It will also be their desk I am bent over, not yours. Think on that Jay, just know it’s all your fault, you only have yourself to blame!”

I pushed him away and went to turn to find a room to sit in and collect myself, I left him there standing in the hallway to ponder on my comments. I found a small room that was unlocked and opened the door to walk in, I didn’t even turn to shut the door instead just pushed it back with my hand. The lack of sound coming from the door closing had me turning around thinking I didn’t push it shut hard enough. Instead Jay stood there with his hand on the door holding it open. He looked pissed, I have never seen him look this angry before and it made me worried but at the same time extremely turned on. He stepped in and shut the door before locking it and turning the main light off while leaving the dimmers on.

“You shouldn’t have said such things to me baby girl, I don’t appreciate those kinds of visuals.”

“Well you better get used to it Jay, I want to be happy and I only need to move on away from you. You are already distancing yourself from me so just keep doing that and we won’t have any problems.” I went to move towards the door but Jay grabbed my hand that went to reach for the door knob.

“You are not leaving here until you take back what you said.” 

“No, why should I. You made your choice Jay and now you have to live with it.”

“I was only doing what I thought was best for you!”

“You don’t get to decide what’s best for me, that’s something I need to decide for myself. If I needed any help with that choice then I would ask for it. But again, it’s the choice you made so live with it!”

I went to pull away but his grip on my hand was too tight and he stepped forward which had me backing up until I hit a table. I looked behind me and back to Jay’s face still seeing the anger in his eyes.

“Go back to the snake.”

“Fuck that bitch, she was only a distraction from what I have wanted since the first day I saw you.”

I inhaled sharply at his confession, I wasn’t expecting him to say something like this. “Still doesn’t make up for you acting like a jack ass to me.”

Jay let go of my hand and brought that hand up to my face to cup it while his free hand went around my waist pulling me closer to him. “I know it doesn’t and I hate it. I hate that I pushed you to Gray. I hate that look you get in your eye. Part of me want’s to just take you away and spend days on days making up for how I have treated you but there is still a part of me that knows me distancing myself and not going down the path I want is what’s best. God baby girl you have no idea how much of a daily battle it is whenever I see you.”

“That’s exactly what I don’t need, I don’t need to be next to you while you go through this battle. You need to pick a side and stick to it.”

“Just stay right here next to me please baby, don’t leave me until I make that choice.”

I looked up into his eyes and saw them soften from the anger he had before. Now he looked vulnerable in front of me. I could see the turmoil he was going through and I wished I could help him but this had to be a choice he made on his own.

“Jay I can’t..”

I didn’t get a chance to finish what I was trying to say as Jay took my lips with his silencing my rebuttal with his kiss. His kiss was soft and sweet and I couldn’t help but get lost in the way he felt against me. Jay’s hand that was on my face went to my hip before it went down to wear my slit in the dress was. His hand snuck its way under the fabric moving up and around my ass to reveal what kind of underwear I was wearing. He moaned into the kiss when he felt my skin. I deepened the kiss sticking my tongue in his mouth and used it to explore him, he tasted of mint probably from his tooth paste. My hands went around his neck and grabbed at him trying to pull him as close to me as possible. The hand that was holding my hip came around the front my dress to the slit and went under it pulling the material up around my waste to reveal my underwear. I was already backed up to the desk and decided to just sit on it and put my legs around his waist. I felt the bulge in his pants and tried to grind on it needing some kind of pressure on me.

Jay pulled back to kiss my skin under my wear while he whispered, “All you need to do is tell me what you want baby.”

“Touch me daddy.” I moaned out and felt him bite down on my ear causing a new rush of liquid to form in my panties.

Jay hooked his fingers on the side of my black lacy thong and slowly moved them down and I lifted my hips allowing them to come all the way down. Jay bent taking them and sliding them into his pocket while he smirked up at me, I figured I wouldn’t be seeing them again. While he was down there he pushed the dress out of the way and pulled me to the edge of the table before he stuck his tongue out slowly licking me from the bottom up. My head fell back and I let a low moan escape my lips at the sensation of his soft tongue playing with my lower lips. I felt jay hook both of my legs over his shoulder before he pressed his tongue fully against me and sucking on the top part trying to part my lips. He was going so slowly and I needed to feel him.

“Please daddy don’t tease me, touch me!”

“Such a greedy baby tonight.”

Jay parted my lips and pushed his tongue in swirling it around and spreading my juices before he retracted it only to replace it with two fingers. With the presence of his fingers inside caused me to buck my hips and I tried to push down on them needing them far inside me. Jay held me still with his free hand as he pumped is fingers in and out of me. I was moaning and begging him for more which caused him to take my clit in his mouth sucking on it harshly. His fingers kept passing over that perfect spot and I felt my orgasm building up.

“God yes, just like that please don’t stop.”

Jay sped up his movements and then bit down on my clit causing me to fly off the edge of bliss. I screamed out his name not caring if anyone heard me. Maybe it was the mixture of the emotions from our argument and what he was doing but this orgasm was the most powerful one I have ever had with anyone or on my own. My eyes were squeezed shut and tears were prickling at the edge as I rode out the orgasm. When I was done and coming back from bliss I looked up and saw Jay kiss the inside of my legs before he stood and nestled himself between my legs. He bent down to capture my lips with his allowing me to taste myself on him. I heard his zipper go down and he pulled away to look me in the eyes.

“I don’t have a condom baby girl.” 

“It’s fine I trust your clean and I am on birth control.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded my head and pulled him back down to kiss me as I felt his tip at my entrance and then felt him fill me in one single thrust. I moaned into his lips at the feeling of him being fully inside me. I could never get over how good he felt, I wished we could stay here in this moment all night. He slowly started thrusting in and out of me at a slow pace while he broke away from our kiss to make a wet trail down my neck to my collarbone. I felt him suck and nip at my skin making me clamp down on him earning me a groan from him.

“Fuck baby I love when you do that.”

Jay took a hand and stuck it between our connected bodies trying to play with my clit but I begged him not to as I was still so sensitive from my first orgasm. He apologized and kept thrusting in me. I loved how sweet he was being and how loving his movements were. It made me happy but at the same time I felt my heart break a little at the thought of us going back to where we were just minutes ago. Jay must have sensed my inner pain because he stopped and looked into my eyes.

“Baby don’t think of anything but us right here, right now. Concentrate on how amazing you feel, don’t over think things.” He came back down to kiss away a tear that had slowly escaped my eye.

I nodded my head and moved my head to capture his lips with mine. Jay began to quicken his pace while he nibbled on my lip making me moan out. Even with how powerful my first orgasm was I felt the pleasure building up again. Jay adjusted his hold on me giving him a better chance to go deeper catching that little nerve bundle with the head of his dick. I broke the kiss and moved my head to the side to moan out.

“Yes baby, just feel that. Concentrate on that feeling, the feeling of my cock sliding in and out of your tight pussy. How good it feels and how warm it is.”

I moaned for him to go faster and he obliged now pistoning his member in and out of me. I felt him get even bigger knowing he was getting close and with a couple of more thrusts I was clamping down on him as I rode out another orgasm that wasn’t as strong as the first. I heard him moan out my name before I felt him twitch inside me as he shot streams of hot cum deep inside me.

“Sorry baby, I didn’t mean to cum inside you. I really wanted to pull out but you were holding onto me so tightly.”

I kissed his lips gently, “Don’t worry about it, but now you need to find something to clean up this mess you made.”

Jay smiled and laughed at me before he pulled out of me and found some tissue using it to wipe both of us up. He helped me stand up and held onto me as I felt myself get a little dizzy.

“You ok baby girl?”

“Yeah I just haven’t eaten much of anything today.”

“Well let’s go get you something to eat.”

“Sounds good, but first can I have my panties back?”

“Not a chance in hell, I want to watch you walk around without these panties on. I want to watch you squirm knowing I have them in my pocket.”

I rolled my eyes and let him lead me out of the room leaving it smelling like sex. We walked back to the ballroom and Ji Soo found us.

“Sarah I was looking all over for you.”

“Sorry, I needed some air.”

“That’s ok, I wanted to introduce you to some people.”

Jay put his arm around my waste, “Sarah needs to eat first Ji Soo, she hasn’t had much to eat all day.”

“Don’t worry Jay I will make sure to feed her. Besides that Baem woman was looking for you, she looked as if she need you urgently.”

Just the mention of the snake brought back all the emotions I was trying to forget. I walked out of Jay’s arm and went with Ji Soo needing to get some space between us. I was upset with myself again that I allowed myself to be pulled back in to this stupid dance we had going on. I just wanted Jay to make up his damn mind on what he wanted. As Ji Soo filled me a small plate I made the choice then to not feed into this mess and to start putting my own distance between us.

NEXT CHAPTER

#Jay park #jay park scenario #gray scenario #gray #aomg #fanfic #Loves painful sting #please send me your feedback on this story #im a greedy bitch for peoples thoughts on my work #also please share away

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