#tagged in memes [new phenomena of being known]

[thedetectiveofinaba]

mun vs muse!

tagged by: @jesterofinaba tagging: @shockingxpicaresque​, @electricea​ & a lurking person on the Dash

[reaccounting-the-purge]

A Brief Summary

For my college final on the History of the internet, I chose to make a critical analysis and semi-historiography of the Tumblr adult content ban. Here is my pinned post that details the summary of my research.

The Basics:

Tumblr as a platform first came into existence in 2007 by David Karp as a very "web 2.0" setup. This included a lax policy on adult content, seeing as the website was for everyone. The TOS prior to late 2018 was literally "go nuts, show nuts" as long as it wasn't illegal.

Tumblr was bought by Yahoo in 2013 for 1.1 billion dollars, seeing the site as integral to internet fan spaces and culture, with the CEO Marissa Meyer promising "not to screw it up". However, this would soon be a mistake. While tumblr was beloved, it was not profitable. Eventually in 2016, Verizon acquires Yahoo, and thus, tumblr. There was a bright idea somewhere in there to put the app on the Apple store in hopes of producing some money. Yahoo falls as tumblr's Domain Registrar, while Verizon works as it's Internet service provider. Apple in this case is something of a CDN or a Cloud Service of some kind- not being the end all of tumblr's existence, but not having zero power either. You can read more about what those terms mean in Fowler's article on TWP here.

Apple's Pressure:

However tumblr had an issue. It kept getting taken down from the App store for having "illicit materials"- aka, CP. Which was not unfounded. Tumblr had a heavy history with unsavory characters (p*dos, n*zis, b*stiality) and no matter how hard people complained, the content would not be removed. Usually what would happen is tumblr staff would go in, remove a good amount of the content requested, and wait to see if Apple restored them. This worked most times. However, in 2018, the app was removed once more, and staff at Verizon and tumblr were beginning to see this as a pain. Tarleton Gilespie brings this up in their chapter of SAGE, entitled "regulation of and by platforms". So what was Yahoo and Verizon's idea to make things easier?

Purging the Site:

In December of 2018, staff released an update on their blog detailing changes being made to Tumblr's TOS. Mainly: no more adult content. At all. Ever. The ban was to be instated December 18th 2018, and it... was a really bad idea. Staff underestimated how much of the site consisted of adult content posters. Most of them used their adult content for income- commissions, SW'ers, models, etc. And those who didn't were enthusiasts happy to have a platform where they can enjoy their interests and hobbies like writing erotica or posting nsfw GIFs of their favorite adult films.

Not only did tumblr ban adult content, but also any tag that could be in any way related to adult content. Words such as "donate" "girl" "bald" "sad" and "testicular cancer" were purged from tags.

What is a Female Presenting Nipple?:

And, memorably, tumblr defined in their new TOS that "images, gifs, and illustrations of any human genitalia or female-presenting-nipples" would be banned. Which also caused a lot of controversy of it's own for being sexist, transphobic, and downright confusing language. After all, what makes a nipple female? Naturally Tumblr users did what they did best when an odd and strangely offensive phrase appeared: they spammed memes about it for the next few months.

The Terrible, No-Good AI:

How the ban worked was that an AI, which was a hybrid of machine learning algorithmic and classification to determine what posts, specifically images, violated TOS.

The problem? It sucked. Really bad.

Many images that had nothing to do with nsfw content was flagged as explicit, such as a collage of Steven Universe expressions, fruit, fine art, a car, Joe Biden's face, stockings, you name it, it was deleted, especially if it had a woman or femme-presenting person in it. This is known as biased AI, and the phenomena has happened multiple times in the past. Most notably, Amazon having the issue of it's hiring AI discarding all female applicants, and Google's Algorithm having an issue with associating women of color with pornography in it's search results. Safiya Noble writes about the latter here.

Naturally, users were not happy, and even before this came into effect, they made their stance known.

Log-Off Protest:

In an effort to combat the new terms, those using the site did many a thing to stop it: posting copious amounts of nsfw content to try and overwhelm the site's new algorithm, spreading information on what sites allow nsfw content, making a whole tumblr clone site called pillowfort, and most notably, a black out.

A black-out refers to the act of a widespread amount of users on a website logging off, all at once, for a set period amount of time to reduce site traffic a noticeable amount.

Tumblr user yueqingyan posted this, saying that a user-held black-out would be held December 17th, 2018, one day before the TOS updated and the ban went into place. This blog archives the various phases the tumblr black-out went into. Thanks to the efforts of users, and the combined exodus of people leaving, the black-out worked, and site users and unique user numbers plummeted.

The Exodus:

Another way that people protested was... well, they didn't. They just left. Left where? Well, mostly to Twitter or Pillowfort, or for those with commissions and needing money, Patreon. And when the content creators left, so did their fans. Because if you are an nsfw enthusiast, and all the adult content is gone, why even stay on the site? So they, too, left. This caused massive issues: if your userbase straight up leaves, and people are no longer encouraged to join the app, you're going to lose money.

Effects on Revenue:

When a site loses traffic, it also loses money. So when the exodus happened, tumblr lost a lot of money, and it was already not that profitable in the first place. August of 2019, Automattic, Tumblr's original parent company, reacquired the site for a measly 3.3 million USD because of the loss of site revenue. Automattic said that while tumblr has changed, they are now focusing on the future of the site, but what does that entail?

Merch and Advertisements:

How does a failing meme site make back all it's money? Same way every cash grab does. Merch of the many funny moments it had. Everything from actual tumblers to the iconic shoelaces from the "tumblr code" stolen straight from the president. Tumblr has even started collaborating with artists on the site. For a short time, they even included the "blue checkmarks" that twitter had for 8 dollars, but you could get multiple checkmarks for your account, and even a whole rainbow of checkmarks to remain next to your name. Overall, it's been pretty successful in making some revenue back. However, what tumblr really needed was people to buy the merch and stay on the site. They needed nudity back.

Reversing, kinda not really:

In September of 2022, Tumblr rolled out "labelled content". What this means is that you can label your posts into two categories: For Everyone, and Mature. The mature label was then divided into 3 subcategories which you could tag one or multiple of: Drug/Alcohol addiction, Violence, and Sexual themes. You can set your blog in your settings so that you do not see mature content of one or all categories, going back to the original idea of curating your own dash of what you want and don't want to see. Tumblr also updated their policy on nudity, saying that it was okay, as long as it was tagged as mature, and, you know, not actual acts of sexual intimacy. This satisfied a lot of previous users, who after seeing Elon Musk destroying Twitter, decided to come back here.

What Have We Learned?

TLDR: Tumblr was bought by yahoo, which was then bought by Verizon, and attempted to put it on the app store. This failed many times, until they literally were backed into the corner. They didn't have enough manpower to go through and delete all the problematic content so they had an AI delete all the nsfw. Except it did, and deleted anything that resembled a woman or a nipple. People got mad, left, and tumblr lost a lot of money, got bought by the original company at a massive discount, and now we can once again send nudes.

[glitchphotography]

For many, it’s no surprise that Capybaras are going through a cult moment on the internet, from the memes celebrating chill vibes and interspecies harmony (minus that one pelican ofc), to the Facebook group where its almost 50,000 members “all pretend to be capybaras.” Yet like all internet phenomena there is an ultimate and inevitable flattening of the real. In the case of internet Capycore, these semiaquatic macro-rodents indigenous to Latin America lose their local contexts and histories in order to become a lowkey meme god often depicted by domesticated Capys in nonnative environments like Japanese Zoos and LA mansions. Ofc this is just the tendency of globalized networked media in vectorialist global north platforms, and ofc All Capys Are Beautiful, but at the end of the day there are countless native Capys in South America and Panama losing their habitats, living in urbanized areas, and going through real sh** everyday and their stories deserve to be told as well, which brings us to “The Capybaras of Ipaussu” The average Brazilian in rural Sao Paulo is surprised to hear that Capybaras are popular on the internet. For many of them, capybaras are pests that invade crops, tasty game to hunt, or at worst, a public health risk. Capybaras, especially young ones, can harbor ticks that carry R. rickettsii, a bacteria that causes Febre Maculosa, a deadly disease also known as Brazilian Spotted Fever.  As Capybaras witness the decimation of their native wetland habitats caused by overdevelopment and climate change, they increasingly migrate closer to humans, sometimes living in urban environments like the Pullman Hotel lake outside Guarulhos International Airport in São Paulo, or like the municipal lake in the center of the park in Ipaussu, a rural town of 15,000 near the border of São Paulo State and Paraná. Capys have a gregarious nature that makes them highly adaptable to human settings. Over time, the Capybaras of Ipaussu helped turn the municipal lake into a local tourist attraction, but as is often the case of interactions with wildlife and urbanized life, there are unintended consequences on unseen scales. Between January 2019 and May 2020, Four people in Ipaussu died of Brazilian Spotted Fever. Two of them were children and one of them was fifteen. Once the source of the disease was eventually traced back to the Capybaras living in the municipal lake, locals decided they have had enough. Following the wake of eight-year-old Haroldo Marcondes, dozens of Ipaussu residents marched in the streets protesting the Capybaras and demanding their removal. The town mayor  agreed with them. The fate of the Capybaras of Ipaussu was sealed, but Brazilian environmental bureaucracy takes its time. In March 2021, the Capys were herded away from the municipal lake and corralled at a nearby pasture. They have been tagged by health officials and will be tested for exposure to R. rickettsii. Capybaras that turn out to be potential vectors for Brazilian Spotted Fever will be euthanized while the rest will be sterilized and allowed to live out their lives in their new enclosure. Because they are considered to be a contaminated population, disease prevention protocols prevent them from being reintroduced into the wild. The Anthropocene bursts through at every scale, local and microscopic. This is not unique to the region, the same lake in Ipaussu had a massive fish die-off event in December 2020 that was attributed to oxygen deprivation and low water levels.

[lucientelrunya]

Like a lonely house pt 3

Phew, I feel a little like that bird meme "the risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math" (which I really am *points to the 70 years that are actually 80 years* !!), with how I went "Huh, there is no 50.000+words slow burn of them, but I want!!!" and my brain was like "well, do it yourself. Here, have Chapter 1, 3, 6 and 9, I already prepared them. Oh and here is some Ba Ye+Wu Xie-friendship" And then I struggle with how to bridge the gap between those chapters.....

This part is me struggling really hard. Trying to bridge those gaps and trying to puzzle Mystic Nine-Canon and Book-Canon together. Like, Wu Laogou??? He wasn't even born? My perfectionism can't handle this!! But I guess I am like Hamilton, I'll never be satisfied *sigh*, so ... yeah. Feel free to point out any mistakes you spot!

I should definitely add that this is canon-divergent... ish (which canon???), I'm not sure if there is anything I should warn about in this part, maybe just more sadness? But @psychic-waffles and @gaiahenshin wanted someone to hug Zhang Rishan so ... here you go I guess ^^°°° (I see those tags and reblogs and favorites and I am beyond thrilled every single time, I don't even know how to react!)

It takes a conscious effort to make his lungs work properly again and take a deep breath. Fo Ye had entrusted him with his legacy and he will do everything he can to not disappoint him any further. He has to face the consequences of what he has done, he has to. But before he can get a grip on himself someone tips his chin up to shine a flashlight right into his eyes. He automatically flinches back from the blinding light, dislodging the hand from his face in the process and finds Huo Daofu staring at him, flashlight in his hand and one brow raised. “Back with us?” he asks, eyes scanning Zhang Rishan’s face methodically and only taking a step back once he nods slowly. How long had he stood frozen, trapped in his thoughts for Huo Daofu to come over and start to worry?

“Good. Any more insights on god-radio?” What is he talking about? "God-radio?" Zhang Rishan repeats slowly, confused, which only makes Huo Daofu raise both brows this time. He pointedly looks over at the mural where Zhang Rishan's fingers are still touching the picture of said god. Ah, they must have thought it was still somehow communicating with him.

“Time travel”, Zhang Rishan mutters, trying to ignore the way Luo Que hovers anxiously at his side and the way Ba Ye has his hands wrapped around his upper arm like he had always done when he wanted to hide behind him or was whining about something (and the possible connection between those two things). His words cause several confused “huh”’s from different directions. Taking a slow deep breath he braces himself to say the words, to confess and take the blame for this mess. “No, I didn't get any further godly insights, but I think Ba Ye is right, he never died, he was, as you phrased it so nicely, plucked from the past and put here, now”, he says, inclining his head at Wu Xie.

“But why?” Ba Ye asks and Zhang Rishan makes himself turn his head to look at him when he says his next words. “Because of me.” And there it is. “Because this god was inside my mind and it was so incredibly thankful I gave it its freedom that it wanted to give something to me in return, to grant me a wish.” Not that he had wished for Ba Ye to be ripped out of his time, exactly, his thoughts had been a jumbled mess at that moment. He had never consciously wished for anything in particular. But Ba Ye’s sudden disappearance in the middle of a war had torn a hole into Fo Ye’s heart and, by extension, into Zhang Rishan’s (not only by extension, of course, because Ba Ye had been important to Zhang Rishan, too - is important - but to Fo Ye he had practically been family). He could have said how Fo Ye had looked for Ba Ye for months, for years, with a war raging right on their doorstep, when thousands of people were dying or disappearing, when the city they had so desperately tried to protect had been burned to the ground. How Fo Ye had never truly gotten over not being able to find him - save him - or at least find out what happened. He had felt Ba Ye’s absence all his life, a regret he couldn’t let go of, not even on his deathbed. A regret Zhang Rishan had taken into his own heart, after Fo Ye’s death, added to his own regrets and moulded into a lump of regret-failure-pain-bitterness-sorrow that his trained mind still hasn’t filed away properly. He has failed Ba Ye, too, and has missed Ba Ye, too. And this is his mess, this is what his jumbled thoughts had made a god do, so he leaves it at that.

Zhang Rishan is prepared for anger, for reproaches, for being smacked again, but Ba Ye’s face is unreadable and he doesn’t say anything, his fingers around Zhang Rishan’s arm only slightly tightening their grip. He waits for something - anything - to happen, (maybe for the sky to fall down or the earth to open up and swallow him), for him to wake up and realize everything’s only just been a dream - nightmare? - or for one of them to tell him he’s crazy and there’s no way this could be possible. And someone does: “But that’s impossible, that would be a paradox”, Wu Xie says and Zhang Rishan looks at him pointedly.

“A bootstrap paradox, to be exact”, Huo Daofu remarks and really, that’s the part of all of this he wants to comment on? “A what now?” Pangzi asks, squinting at Huo Daofu and Zhang Rishan is glad he is not the only one who has no idea what Huo Daofu is talking about. “A bootstrap paradox. It basically describes phenomena with a cause-effect-loop just like this. I mean, you don’t know my gran, but she was absolutely obsessed with the famous Qi Tiezui so I don’t know how many times I heard the story of his tragic, mysterious disappearance and all the questions and the search and Zhang Da Fo Ye’s heartbreak.” He looks like he wants to roll his eyes in annoyance at the mention of his grandmother. “But that’s exactly that. He vanished and you wanted to find out why and that wish brought him here in the first place. So what came first? There is no discernable point of origin for- what, I like Sci-Fi, don’t look at me like that!”

It is somehow reassuring and disconcerting at the same time that Huo Daofu of all people manages to sum up his thoughts like this, aside from his guilt. And that he is able to put a name to this, even if that doesn’t mean it’s a real thing. Fiction is fiction after all. How can there even be such a thing? But then, how could there be a god chained to a cave or a mysterious force controlling people like that or golden coffin water that saved people from certain death? After everything else he has already seen and lived through or just heard about in his life he shouldn’t be so doubtful. It’s also quite unsettling how much Huo Daofu knows about Ba Ye’s disappearance and how casually he mentions those details. But Ba Ye doesn’t seem too upset about the mention of Fo Ye’s heartbreak, at least for the moment. Instead he perks up at Huo Daofu’s words.

“Good, good! After all you heard and all you read about that then it must be a real thing, so I think we can all agree that all of this is real and I am real!” And, curiously, Wu Xie looks at Liu Sang, who jerks his head in a small gesture of confirmation that’s not really a nod. But it is obviously enough for Wu Xie to smile at Ba Ye and nod. “Yes, I think we can. And I wanted to ask you something. You were the one who stole one of my grandpa’s dogs, right?” The question makes Ba Ye laugh awkwardly and let go of Zhang Rishan’s arm, so he can gesture at Wu Xie.

“Of course that’s what he would tell his grandchildren about me. Let me tell you, I took out that dog’s gallstones and I brought it back safe and sound! And he acted like I murdered it!” Wu Xie laughs at the face Ba Ye makes, or maybe his helpless gesturing. “He always said you kidnapped that dog just to get back at him.” Zhang Rishan isn’t sure if he imagines how the conversation tiptoes on the line of ‘friendly conversation’ and ‘fishing for information’. But he hadn’t been present for the whole Dog-stealing-thing, so he keeps listening, ignoring Pangzi who starts to tease Huo Daofu about his obvious love for science fiction and then continues to question him about his favorites.

“Aiyah! That’s just what I told Fo Ye, that Wu Laogou would never give me his dog if I asked him because he would think I wanted to get back at him. But I really wasn’t! We needed his gallstones to cure Mo Ce so Fo Ye said I had to steal it if I wouldn’t ask for it. So I stole it, but as I said, I brought it back better than new, freshly cured. And he even made me apologize to the dog!” That is actually something he hadn’t known, but Wu Xie laughing and saying “Of course he would!” is enough to finally fully convince him that all of this is real. It puts his mind at ease and shifts his focus to other things he still has questions about.

They should definitely find out more about this god and the people that imprisoned it. He takes out his phone to take some photos of the mural and finds it mostly covered in white, but just like before it just crumbles away in little flakes. Surprisingly his phone still works and there is no trace of dampness to it. For a moment he stares at the screen and then at his arm, where Ba Ye's hands had grabbed him. The dried white stuff has crumbled away where the cloth had been moved or touched, leaving no trace, no lingering wetness. Deliberately taking note of every part of his skin he realizes that actually nothing feels wet or damp, even though he practically swam in that liquid. He can only recall the feeling of the liquid clinging to him and dragging him down like water-soaked and heavy clothing would do, but it seems highly unlikely that he was unconscious long enough for his clothes to completely dry. It's like whatever was in the pool only wrapped itself around him, like a cocoon, but didn't soak through anything.

Luo Que is still beside him, silently watching him. His arms are covered in white flakes, too, so he must have helped Pangzi get him out of the pool. “Do you remember what the liquid felt like?” Luo Que looks confused for a moment, furrowing his brows until his eyes drift down to his own arms and he seems to get what Zhang Rishan is asking. “Not really like liquid, it felt cool but not wet at all”, he answers, rubbing at one of the larger stains that crumbles away under his fingertips. This only confirms his suspicions, he wants this stuff analyzed. Luo Que finds a zip-lock-bag somewhere in his backpack and together they manage to get at least some of the white flakes and dust into the bag, although it seems to disintegrate once it gets shaken off whatever surface it had clung to.

Wondering if this is even really a tomb he takes pictures of the whole mural. It seems more like a temple - no, they didn’t worship the god here, so more of a prison for a god if there is a word for such a thing. He turns only to find Ba Ye watching him, staring at his phone. Of course, the kinds of cameras Ba Ye knows were big and bulky so he hands it to Ba Ye. “It’s a camera and a phone”, he explains, which only makes Ba Ye stare harder, turning the device in his hands. “It’s so small!” His wonder makes Zhang Rishan smile and he promises to show Ba Ye what it can do later.

Which seems almost like a cue for them to decide to carefully explore the rest of the tomb for more information and to find out if it really is a tomb. They take the dagger, the only remarkable thing on the altar and maybe something that can help them find out more about the people that used it. Maybe at least how old this cave is. Zhang Rishan is still unsure if it’s a tomb or a prison, even after they find two more caves with clay jugs filled with human ashes. Cremation is not exactly a common burial tradition for this region and there are no grave goods at all. Not one single treasure, to Pangzi’s great disappointment, no more murals, no scripture, nothing. It’s mostly a disappointment in terms of exploration, but maybe they can find out some more.

Since it already got dark when they reached the tomb they decide to spend the night in the cave with the pool, which is the only one with enough room for all of them (and they don’t really want to sleep next to rows of human ashes). It’s still quite dark, even with Pangzi’s heater instead of a fire but more comfortable than outside where Liu Sang had heard rain and thunder. None of them goes to check, there is no need to hurry back, they can spend one night in the cave and hopefully the rain will have stopped the next day.

Reception in the cave is strong enough to mail the pictures to some contacts and ask them to look into it. Ba Ye watches him curiously while he types in the message and Zhang Rishan shows him all the other functions - or at least everything he frequently uses his phone for, which makes Pangzi laugh. “Ahh, President Zhang,” he scolds, using the title he had never used before. “You are all about work! Show the poor man some good things! Here, look at this game,” and he tucks on Ba Ye’s shoulder to get him to lean over his own phone.

“Pangzi, the ‘poor man’ doesn’t have a phone to send you money for your stupid game”, Wu Xie leans on Pangzi’s other shoulder, grinning and obviously finished with his phone call. “Ah, Tianzhen, pay attention. I’m already done with that one, this is a new one. Here, look!” Judging by the way all three of them look at the phone it must be something cute and Zhang Rishan finds himself smiling again, glad and thankful that they include Ba Ye so effortlessly. He will need people who can care for him and help him if he decides he won’t forgive Zhang Rishan after they get a chance to talk about everything that has happened since Ba Ye vanished.

This thought wipes the small smile off his face and he distracts himself by texting Liang Wan, asking her when she will be back from her trip because he wants her to check Ba Ye, blood tests and all. He will do everything he can to make sure Ba Ye is okay (or as okay as he can be) and has everything he needs for a life in the 21. century. Which is another reason why he offers Ba Ye his sleeping bag, who simply refuses, adamant that they can share. They end up with Zhang Rishan sitting on one half, leaning his back against the wall and Ba Ye using his leg as a pillow, curled up next to him on the other half. It’s familiar, but he represses the memories, busying himself with shrugging out of his coat without waking Ba Ye to drape it over him because he can feel him shiver against his leg. It seems to be getting colder but he doesn’t mind. Ba Ye doesn’t wake, but when he looks back up Wu Xie smiles at him from where Pangzi is halfway wrapped around him, head on Zhang Qilings lap.

When they pack up the next morning it’s still raining and it’s really noticeably colder than before. Zhang Rishan lets Ba Ye keep his coat, he will need some protection against the rain in his thin changshan, even if the thick forest they had hiked through should offer some protection against the rain. But when they leave the cave there is no more forest, only muddy ground where lush undergrowth had been and some tree stumps that look long dead.

“Well, the forest was unusual”, Liu Sang says but still seems just as perturbed as everyone else. For a moment they just stand there and look around them. “I guess they really needed that god to grow something around here”, Pangzi jokes, but he sounds uneasy about it. And how could they not be, with miles of dead land around them where hours before there had been fruit trees and berry bushes in abundance. Zhang Rishan represses a shiver of uneasiness and just wants to leave this place as soon as possible. He is not the only one. Instinctively they walk faster on their way back, or as fast as they can. The rain had made the ground slippery with mud and dead plants. None of them feels comfortable about stopping for the night but it’s safer than trying to navigate through the dark. Thankfully the rain stopped some time before that and they manage get a fire going, but still all of them are quiet and thoughtful, no trace of the easy banter of the day before.

They are packed and ready to go with the first light of the next day. Without the rain the ground dries up fast and the sun is too bright and too warm, which is actually typical for this region. At one point they cross a very visible line where the dead zone ends and there are plants and trees again, but they don’t stop to inspect it further, too glad to be out.

It’s mid afternoon when they reach the end of the road where they had left their cars and from there it’s only roughly another two hours to drive to the small village where they had spent the night before setting out on this endeavour. The villagers don’t seem to know that a whole forest has vanished and happily accommodate them again in the small inn. They had seemed to avoid the general area of said forest and hadn’t wanted to talk about it before, just whispering about local legends of a ‘man-eating wood’. Luckily the owner of the small inn doesn’t seem to remember their exact number or he simply doesn’t care that they left the allegedly cursed forest with an additional person. He gives them the same rooms (which are actually the only rooms available) and goes off to prepare dinner.

They disperse to their rooms to clean up and rest for a moment until dinner is ready. Wu Xie had made sure that Zhang Rishan shares his room with Ba Ye so they can talk, but both of them seem a bit reluctant to start. They wash in a somewhat uncomfortable silence until Zhang Rishan takes off the bandages, inspecting the two cuts on his arms and is surprised at the 2 neat rows of staples. He hadn’t realized they were that long and deep that they required stapling and is actually impressed at Huo Daofu’s level of preparation for such a small trip. He obviously knows what he is doing, the cuts are clean and already healing nicely. “Let me help you”, Ba Ye takes the fresh bandages out of his hand, and starts slowly wrapping them around Zhang Rishan’s arms.

“I understand there are a lot of things that have happened since I disappeared, so just tell me”, Ba Ye’s voice is quiet and he keeps his eyes on his hands. And, taking a deep breath to brace himself, Zhang Rishan tells him. About the second attack on Changsha, the third, and finally the fourth one when they lost and everything they had tried to protect had been destroyed. He doesn’t go into detail about all the lives that were lost in the war, while Ba Ye’s fingers work slower and slower until they stop, hovering over Fo Ye’s bracelet. Zhang Rishan pulls his arms away to tuck down his sleeves, hiding the bandages and the bracelet alike, while he only briefly mentions the destruction and despair. Ba Ye had seen enough of that after the first attack on Changsha. He tells him about the years after the war, how they slowly rebuild and how Fo Ye kept looking for Ba Ye. There are not only sad things to say - Fo Ye had been happy in his marriage with Xinyue, Er Ye had been pleased with his new apprentice, the Huo-Clan had thrived, just like the Xie-Clan - although those outweigh the good things, because one by one he recounts the deaths of everyone Ba Ye knows.

“I’m sorry”, he finishes and hates that the words don’t do justice to the depth of his feelings. “You lost them too”, Ba Ye says, his voice surprisingly steady and almost gentle, and Zhang Rishan stares at him, at a loss. Yes, he did. But little by little, parts of his world crumbling away, piece by piece, until only duty remained. He’d had time to adjust to the holes, find ways around them, new paths that had grown old and used and then been torn away, too. What he had lost in the course of 80 years Ba Ye had lost in one day, one moment, one blink of an eye.

“Yes”, he says and doesn’t know how to put into words that their pain shouldn’t be compared, because there are not enough words to even begin to describe this. Pain is something he has been trained to file away into different threat levels, into different boxes. He is not allowed to have one named ‘unbearable’, but he doesn’t know how else to label the pain of that one moment when the worst thing has happened and it feels like the world just stops, just shatters and falls to pieces, never to be whole again. But everything stays the same. It’s just his world that shattered, his heart that has been torn apart never to be whole again. He is the one who changed, not the world. And he doesn’t even fathom himself how he had to change to survive that, who he had to become. Because he had become a person that would cause that kind of pain to someone else like this. He had killed countless people in his lifetime, on purpose as a Zhang, as a soldier, in the war or by mistake, by failure, by not being able to save them but he had never thought himself capable of such cruelty.

Whatever Ba Ye reads in his face (or maybe in his heart, because Ba Ye had always been good at reading hearts), it makes him knit his brows. Not in anguish or sorrow but something more akin to chagrin and he grabs the sides of Zhang Rishan’s sweater to roughly tug him forward into a bone crushing hug. And Zhang Rishan allows himself to be moved, just like he had always allowed himself to be moved whenever Ba Ye was tugging on him.

Ba Ye presses his face into the crook of his neck, arms wrapping tightly around his sides, fingers digging into his shoulder blades and Zhang Rishan can feel the shaky inhale against the bare skin of his neck. Carefully he wraps his arms around Ba Ye’s shoulders and holds him up when he feels the other man lean most of his weight on him. He doesn’t say anything, when he feels the wetness of quiet tears against his shoulder, just closes his eyes, offering whatever comfort he can offer like this.

[kyleisme14]

My trip to Area 51 - unedited

On Facebook, a kid from Bakersfield created an event. He uses his page, perfectly named, shitposting because my life is in shambles and makes 'storm area 51, they can't stop us all' and seemingly overnight a million people said that they would be attending. I did attend. Shitposting because my life is in shambles is inadvertent the most zeitgeist worthy name for this page. Shitposting is when you share terrible content that you know is bad just to get a reaction. You are sharing a low effort joke for the sense of connection from others.  Because my life is in shambles, this anonymous statement of personal vulnerability, I shall try and make a low effort attempt at connection. This is what our age is all about. We are doomed to be as connected and as isolated as possible. This had a chance of being a real life meme where we'd be isolated no longer.

The page became an immediate stronghold for memes. It adopted other internet jokes like Karens asking to see managers, Kyle's drinking monster energy drink for invincibility, and Naruto runners being faster than bullets, as ways of infiltrating the base. And also generated new ones about what people would find inside Area 51 like the 10th doctor to recommend a toothpaste or where my girlfriend wants to go for dinner or how we'd sneak in with a minivan but escape with a space ship. The killer meme was how once we 'free them aliens' we'd keep them as lovers and bang them so hard that we 'clapped them cheeks'. This was the low effort comedy that this meme page generated.

Was it a joke or would people actually go? At first I did not know why I needed to go to area 51, and everybody seemed to ask me. I failed to recruit any friends to join me on the quest, 7 hours driving to the infamous base. Most thought I was crazy for going. My brother told me to be safe. My sister thought I was joking, and called to counter my bluff. Whenever somebody said they couldn't go, I pittied them because I was sure they were going to miss something incredible and life affirming. I was excited because I had no idea what was going to go down, and nobody in the whole world did. I stopped at the army surplus. I thought we'd either see a humanitarian crisis like fyre fest or a government crackdown. Don't forget, 2 million people clicked GOING online, so even if 1% came that'd be 10,000 people to a town with a population of  1000. The airforce released a warning about 'raiding' active military bases being a bad idea and the use of deadly force being a possibility. Lincoln County, one of nevadas sleepiest, had to call in enough police to potentially break up a neo-woodstock.

I always wanted to go to area 51 since I first learned about aliens as a kid. When I asked the big question of are we alone in the universe? If there was an answer, if somebody had the evidence, if it was anywhere, it was stored at area 51.  UFO's and little green men were hiding somewhere in Nevada... at least according to pop mythology. In grade school I would check out the same book over and over from the library, about aliens and the search for exterterestrial life and the scientists who were looking at the stars. There was a spooky section about times aliens might have visited early humans based on cave paintings and statues. And then the next page was all about area 51, where the government did secret expirements on alien artifacts and maybe had a specimen. So I've been captivated since at least then. Area 51 represents a big secret. A mystery! And somebody powerful, a general or established congress person, knows and is keeping the answers from us. So as an anti-establishment, meme and alien lover, I was fascinated with this 'movement,' that would of 'raid the base'. I wanted to go and find out how many people like me were out there! Turns out I wasn't completely alone! But... for the ignorant... What is Area 51? I could never believe people weren't following the biggest BREAKING news of our lives. But for those out of the loop, Area 51 is an infamous hotspot for UFO lovers. It has a rich history in alien folklore. But here is the factual history: Nevada is almost all federal land. and it was used back in the day for nuclear testing. an original tourist attraction to Las Vegas was watching nuclear testing in the distance...

Some airforce commanders were flying around dropping bombs when they spied a dried lakebed next to a mountain, Groom Lake. They landed on it and found it to be a perfectly flat natural runway. Excellent for testing expiremental aircraft. The facility became known as  Area 51. And was where the airforce and Lockheed Corp developed the U-2 stealth bomber. They brought the best and brightest scientists and engineers to develop new aeronautics and weaponry for the US military. At the height of the Cold War, any foreign technology that was aquired would be brought to Area 51 to be tested and backwards-engineered. You can imagine Chinese reactors and Russian jets being taken apart and used by the best tinkerer's and best test pilots. People at the highest levels of classified access. Because if you are one of the folks who are handling stolen foreign items, you are so classified that your spouse isn't supposed to know what you do all day. Yes honey, I was testing out the Ruskies new fighter plane! They don't even know we have it! These were experts in aeronautics and weapons science who could decipher technology even if the instructions were in another language... so perhaps if the US government were to encounter any other 'foreign technology' of an unknown origin, maybe they'd  send it to Area 51 to be backwards engineered? That's the set up, those are the facts, the rest is conjecture and tinfoil hats stuff. Like unexplained phenomena,  military released sightings that definitely aren't weather baloons and general mysticism. Do you believe in aliens or not?

If you believe that it's more likely that our government would keep aliens a secret than releasing that information to the public... welcome to the club! If not, do some reading. As I drove across the desert, down lonesome roads and through one horse towns, I realized what I was doing. I was driving into the middle of nowhere, likely to stand around doing nothing... and boy was I excited. My plan was to go and maybe film something and if that didn't work out I'd put on an alien costume and hold a sign. I figured that there'd be a bunch of cameras and I could use it to collectively protest all sorts of wrongs in the world. One of the initial reacitons to the playful event was, 'hey there are more imporant places to raid! why not raid the border detention centers, why not congress, why not the oil companies?' To which I say, hell yes... but that's not shitposting. That's being earnest and noble. This was about being ironic and part of a joke. This was about chasing an internet meme into the ground and disecting it until all that was left was the human connection. I had a sign and costume and figured that even if nobody showed up at least news organizations would be covering it.  The sign I held said, Peace on earth ain't coming from outer space, and I really believe that. We shouldn't expect peace to come from somewhere else in the universe, it has to start right here at home, inside each of us. I wanted to get that message out. The day of the event, due to classic internet decentralization, people debated whether the raid meet up (located at the Area 51 gate) should be at 3am on friday morning or 3am on saturday morning. Most people kind of agreed to just gather sporadically between those two times. I monitored a live stream late on thursday to confirm that millions of people weren't gathering to make American History. Instead, about 30 people gathered for that 3am moment. I only missed a photo-op. I awoke on friday morning and drove towards my destiny. There were two events scheduled. One hosted by the facebook Shitposting kid who decided to use his 15 minutes of fame to organize a rave in the desert at the local Little Ale'inn, a motel close to the gate. The other was set up by a filmmaker who made a movie about Area 51 at the Alien Research Center. Both locales are alien themed tchotchke paradises designed to sell the eager UFO tourist any manner of t-shirt, shot glass or Alien doll. These spots have a fun feel and would be desert trinket spots selling only desert sage and gems if not for the boon of being next to an infamous mystery base.

The dueling events were both hoping to capitalize on the rush of people to the desert for the raid. Alienstock, as shitpost called it, was going to be a kumbaya style gathering. But everybody thought it was an alibi for shitpost incase anybody got in actual trouble at the gate and roped him in. Shitpost from bakersfield ended up not even going to his own event out of fear. Also the county sued him for the cost of preparing for a potential fiasco. The Alien Research Center event was going to have famous Alien Community folks speak and some high end music performances. But as I drove down the dusty route 375, known as Exterterestrial Highway, I saw very few people on the roads. Lots and lots of cops. It became obvious that the whole county and the organizers of these events had been preparingor at least 30,000 people. They had nearly 200 port-a-potties. Which makes  sense, if 1% of the people who claimed they were coming online came! The reality was that maybe only 1% of 1% showed up to these sleepy nevada towns on the edge of a fabled military base. The imediate reality of the events was that they were extremely underattended, but that was also a blessing. it made everything a little bit more intimate and accessible. I pulled into the dusty parking lot of the Little Ale'inn to find a rag tag DIY music festival set up. People were essentially tailgating on the side of the road. It was a scene and it was dusty. All sorts of folks were jovially milling about, some in alien themed costume, many with cameras. Many folks with booze, despite the morning. I pulled out a camera and tried interviewing people, but found that everybody I talked to had the exact same talking points. Do you believe in aliens? Duh. Why are you here? Free them Aliens. Do you really think they are in the base? Yes, but maybe now they've been moved. What did you think would happen if we charged? We'd all get killed or arrested. Nobody seemed to have really believed in the facebook post's idea of 'they can't stop us all.' Most people were sure that, especially with the meager turn out, the military and police could stop us all. Everybody just wanted to see what would happen, expecting anywhere from fyre festival 2.0 to a bloodbath to nothing. Everybody had listened to the same Joe Rogan podcast, where he'd interviewed Bob Lazar who claims to have worked at the base. That podcast was the bible of this gathering and  was what had inspired Shitpost to shitpost.

It was special that everybody was a believer. That's rare that strangers are all on the same wavelength. Nobody seemed to have any doubts that the government knew about aliens and weren't telling the public. And it was agreed that UFO's had been tested and stored at the base. Everybody I ended up meeting seemed pretty prepared. They had plenty of water and booze and camping supplies, so the idea that a humanitarian crisis was going to occur dissapated completely and reminded me of a group outting to the desert. Most important was that everybody at the event seemed to be in on the joke. They might believe in aliens but had no plans of raiding the base in actuality. Aliens might exist but the might of the US government is way more certain. The police presence alone was insane, but they merely hinted at the military might behind the base's perimeter. The police actually became quite friendly once they realized it wasn't going to be a boodbath. But the silent and hooded guards behind the gate remained terrifying with big guns and big dogs. There was definitely the threat of violence if you crossed. But we all joked that maybe if a million more people showed up we'd actually start Naruto running passed the guards.

After a while of milling around quasi-interviewing people I decided there were enough people with cameras that I should just put on my alien costume and go to the gate and get in front of the camera. I was taken to the gate by some friends I'd made while trying to get interviews. Evan and Kevin were two dudes I became super weirdly close on the day of the Raid. Each of us had come by ourselves from far away, San Francisco, Boston and Los Angeles, with a vague intention of documenting it in some way. I had a vision of either a mini doc or article, Evan was a photographer and who took some insanely beautiful photos (featured here).

Kevin was a video creation guru who just wanted to make as much instagram content as possible. Kevin was by far the most successful, he's got that showman's knack to always get on camera with insanely high energy. There were a lot of cameras and each one he'd run up to and start lecturing about how the governemnt needed to release the secret documents! It was a great bit especially with his Boston Townie accent turned all the way up.

Evan explained how he was drawn to the site by a mysterious desire to see what would happen.  He expressed it best as, 'this is like a reddit safe post.' People will find safes while remodeling or cleaning a house and say, 'hey reddit, look i found a safe, i'm going to open it and see what's inside!' Then people get excited trying to guess what marvelous jackpot could be in that old dusty safe. They wait desperately for the original poster to share an update. More often than not the poster never returns and people are left waiting for nothing.

Once and a while there will be an updated post to show what was found inside and sometime's it's a haul of trinkets and dubloons and rare items that were saved throughout time to be found by some noble internet user. but then most of the time it's like, wow a roll of coins from 1953! "so yeah i felt obligated to go and find out what was in the safe and share it with reddit even if there actually was nothing inside. reddit deserves to know.' evan said. Because sometimes those posts are just as important, the safe find coming back to say, 'hey we cracked the safe, but turns out there was nothing in it! here's a picture of an empty safe."

So I was beginning to realize that I was standing inside an empty safe. But wow, all of these people had also come to be here and that was something special. It's not often that we get to organically be around likeminded strangers that all have such clear and imediate shared experience. Here we all were, because of a a meme, just to see what would happen. The gathering had a magical quality because we were an internet joke that had left the cyber space and entered the meat space. It was a silly idea that was reaching a physical end point.

I stood around the gate for a good while, we chatted with everybody, shook hands with the police guarding the gate, exchanged instagram handles and shared jokes we'd heard on the internet. You could tell people were really cutting loose. Most people spent most of their time on their computers it seemed. Hey, me too. We shouted 'clap them cheeks' and 'let them out.' We were all in on the joke. There were still mainly cameras and I got interviewed and photographed by dozens including history channels ancient aliens and the nytimes and countless youtubers and instagramers. It all kind of culminated when Kevin and Evan were getting cold and saying we should leave, I heard a distant 'clap them cheeks' chant and booty shuffling down the lonesome road to the infamous Area 51 gate was Riley Reid! Pornhub's number 1 star. She's somebody I have searched for all my life, on google. She did a strip tease and pretended to rush the gate. She was an internet hero in the flesh, and she was in on the joke too! A perfect metaphor, eh?

The next morning, hungover from the excitement and extrovertism of the day before I was sitting in a diner scouring news websites for mentions of the raid and looking for photos of myself. Behind me I heard some locals discussing, a gravelly voice said, "usually this town has 1 car every 10 minutes. this weekend we've got like 1 car every minute!" The townsfolk seemed to have had the wildest weekend of their lives. Me too. I managed to get into a few articles in my green alien suit.  A USA Today affiliate newspaper even printed a whole write up about me and my sign. On the way back, realizing I expected nothing, and found little more than nothing, I was completely satisfied. I had held my sign for peace and found a version of it, internet strangers, weirdos from all over had gathered peacefully to celebrate an idea. A silly and anti authoritarian conspiracy idea, but an idea none the less. I decided the reason I was drove all this way through beautiful american desert land, was because it's something I would have thought was cool as an 11 year old. A mission to see aliens and the people who wanted to meet them. Radical.

[theoriesontheory]

Hyperpop - a folk tradition for the 21st Century

Note for SAE: This blog was written for assessment based on the module guide instructions, not the formal instructions as discussed with Toby Wren

“Folk music is any style of music which represents a community and can be sung or played by people who may or may not be trained musicians, using the instruments available to them.” (Ruehl, 2019)

“This is popular culture as folk culture: a culture of the people for the people.” (Storey, 2014)

If you played the word association game with one-hundred fans of music and gave them the words “folk” and “hyperpop” respectively I think you would be hard pressed to find anyone who would associate one with the other immediately. In the 20th and 21st century folk became a term used to describe any mainstream music that wasn’t rock or later ‘pop’. In play lists now it is often coupled with the words “indie” or “acoustic” or “chilled”. But the roots of the folk tradition lie in music that was popular because it was shareable, it was a group experience that was easy to participate in.We see that folk music is still popular now with the sea shanty trend becoming a massive thing on tik tok. 

 With so many people spending more time on the internet for entertainment, information and communication there has been a rise of ‘sub-cultures’ or new communities bonded by shared experience, taste or interest. (Bennet, 2014) It is from these emerging communities that hyperpop grows and develops as folk sound of a generation. Hyperpop as a genre has its roots in the soundcloud community, being used as a term in the nightcore remix scene. (Enis, 2020) One of the things that makes hyperpop so unique is that while it serves as a genre tag, what that tag can mean is extraordinarily broad. In an interview one half of hyperpop taste makers 100gecs said that for them, certain Brittany Spears songs could go on a Hyperpop playlist. (Patel, 2020) In the same interview the interviewer described hyperpop as a stacking of multiple genres at their peak, extremely relatable, nostalgic and hooky. (ibid.)

I think the strongest thing that ties hyperpop to the folk tradition is it’s use of popular culture references in its production. Looking at a list of samples used by 100gecs (whosampled, n.d.) there are so many well known elements like minecraft sounds, Drake songs, Alt rock from the mid 2000s, a funk and soul instrumental from the 60s, anime sounds, the list of references covers all parts of pop culture in a way that is so reflective of the ‘gen z’/‘zoomer’ mentality. Now with unprecedented access to media from throughout space and time the current internet culture is a global one with references from as early as recorded media and as recent as when you are reading this. Additionally, with the internet and forums and message boards dedicated to the collection and distribution of samples and sounds, any producer with a DAW, a couple hours on YouTube and an idea could take the same samples and use them in a completely different way, using the same elements to express a completely new and unique perspective.

Underlying this is another element of the folk tradition that works to hold the music together, that is the recognisable form. While in the folk tradition songs were structured around easy to remember lyrics, stories and simple melodies and were typically short and repeatable (Nettl, 2007) the way we consume music has changed. Since 1949 and the birth of the 45 for music to be playable on the radio it needs to be around three and a half minuets long (McKinney, 2015) and will probably be in verse chorus form, with a catchy chorus that will be rememberable. (Bell, n.d.). Within these forms there are many other features we come to expect from pop music, a standard kick on the 1 and 3, snare on the 2 and 4, predominantly major tonalities and harmonically diatonic, although this is becoming less common. So, while hyperpop is a combination of many sounds, those sounds are organised and recognisable and fit in a form that we understand.

Another element that places the genre firmly in the folk tradition is that it is a real expression. This conclusion is based on the definition of folk music being made by and for the people. (Storey, 2014) My initial response to the genre when I discovered it through memes was to write it off. As a ‘smart musician’ I looked down on it because I thought it was like just eating cake not a balanced diet. I was living with the self-imposed idea that making art had to be hard and complex and that using extended harmony and using incredible metaphors made me better than other musicians. I was wrong for so many reasons. Firstly, when I approached the genre with no social or class based bias, I began to understand. Just because something is the obvious choice doesn’t mean it’s the wrong one. Pop music is popular for a reason, particularly music that is made with the intention of dancing or partying there are rhythms and patterns that are tried and true. And second, I discovered that underneath all the ‘hyper’ tonality were real stories and emotions and experiences that felt so real and human in contrast to their setting. Hyperpop being such a broad umbrella means that it is the place where people who don’t fit neatly into other genres or scenes can feel connected. When asked what they view their role as leaders of the genre was 100gecs replied with promoting accessibility within the genre, for people who are underappreciated but making the music they like to have and audience and a community. (Patel, 2020) In my listening to hyperpop playlists and artists recommended to my by my friends I have heard songs on topics ranging from love, heartbreak, feeling great about yourself, hating yourself, being high, being sober, loving both of those things, making food, walking a dog, being angry at someone. If there is an experience to be expressed, you can express it in hyperpop.

Side note: I think that the use of autotune and heavy vocal distortions lowers the barrier to entry, now artists can use their voice as an instrument when in the traditional way of thinking about singing they weren’t deemed ‘good enough’

In the same way there are no real rules to sing a folk song in a pub or with your family, there are no real rules about writing hyperpop, the music can be coupled with every emotion and serves to take it to the extreme.

The last tie that holds hyperpop in the folk tradition is the way it is spread. While folk would traditionally be passed from family member to family member or friend to friend, often learned through doing. Hyperpop found it’s rise in meme culture of the internet. 100gecs gained most of their mainstream notoriety through being shared in a facebook music meme group, where internet reviewer and indie taste setter Anthony Fantano found them and gave them a review on his channel leading to millions of people discovering the music. Beyond this, the band’s image is incredibly well tailored to the zoomer, ‘possitive nihilistic’, ‘nothing matters lets party’ mentality, presenting as both over and underproduced, low-fi, oversaturated and almost intentionally bad. This makes it captivating and almost funny to audiences. The band have spoken against this, saying they’re not trying to be ironic but rather just having fun (Mylrea, 2020). But whether or not the easily memeable nature of the music is intentional or not, it is undeniable to say that it means the music is spread and heard on a much wider basis than it would have otherwise.

Hyperpop will probably never be widely called ‘folk music’ but I think that there are enough similarities that the argument is there to be made. Hyperpop as a genre shares its use of recognisable elements from the new ‘internet culture’ that are controlled in a recognisable form, its use of real and relatable expression and the way it is spread through our new community meeting places with the traditional folk tradition, making it the latest in a long list of music sub-genres to be for the people, from the people.

References:

Bell, E. (n.d.). Anatomy of a Song: The Three Most Common Song Forms. Musical-U. https://www.musical-u.com/learn/anatomy-of-a-song-the-three-most-common-song-forms/

Bennet, A. (2014). Youth Culture and the Internet: A subcultural or post-subcultural phenomena? In W. Osgerby (Ed.), Subcultures, Popular Music and Social Change. Cambridge Scholars. https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/sae/reader.action?docID=1790933

Nettl, B. (2020, December 3). Folk music. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/art/folk-music

McKinney, K. (2015, Jan 30). A hit song is usually 3 to 5 minuets long. Here’s why. Vox. https://www.vox.com/2014/8/18/6003271/why-are-songs-3-minutes-long

Mylrea, H. (2020, July 10). 100 Gecs: “People think we’ve staked our entire career on the fact that we can be ironic”. NME. https://www.nme.com/en_au/features/music-interviews/100-gecs-interview-1000-gecs-and-the-tree-of-clues-charli-xcx-pc-music-minecraft-2706029

Patel, P. (Interviewer). (2020, November). Pitchfork Review: 100 Gecs and the Mystery of Hyperpop. [Audio Podcast]. Get Wired. https://open.spotify.com/episode/1UnB4gNxTsInfjur0iVXEP?si=NXGfknGtTqSId4z-XhKNeg&dl_branch=1

Ruehl, K. (2019, Febuary 13). What Exactly is Folk Music? Banjos, Jugbands and More. liveaboutdotcom. https://www.liveabout.com/what-is-folk-music-1322534

[obstinatecondolement]

writing meme (if you're still interested): the first scene in "A thing on mother's milk"

Under a read-more, Because Sex:

“Oh!”

The universe retained plenty of surprises whether you were in your early twenties or getting close to four centuries and few people could appreciate this more than Ezri Dax.

“Huh,” she said, looking down at her naked torso.

The intent here that while Ezri was being surprised you, the reader, were also surprised that she was naked. I use only the most sophisticated of literary devices. 

“Huh?” Quark looked up from between her legs. “That doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. I mean I thought I was doing pretty well a second ago, but we went from rapturous moaning to ‘Oh!’ to 'Huh’ in a very short time and- oh, huh.”

Double surprise, she’s having sex with Quark! Bet you didn’t expect that… from… a fic tagged Ezri Dax/Quark >.>

Also, ‘oh, huh’ mirrored with ‘oh, huh’ was a bit cheesy, but it made me laugh anyway.

The underside of her breasts all down to the top of her ribs was damp with some sort of milky fluid that had, at a fairly key moment… come out of her.

“That’s new,” Quark said. “Is this a Trill thing?”

Technically, what it is is ‘I promised my friend I’d write her a lactation kink fic and/or Ezri/Quark someday.’ 

“I don’t know,” Ezri replied.

She continued to frown at her breasts and reached down to squeeze her left nipple experimentally. At the stimulation more of the fluid expelled itself, more slowly this time. Her nipples were tender and her breasts ached–they’d been pretty sore for a few days, actually, but she’d figured that she was probably coming up on her period or something and hadn’t thought much more about it.

This bit was really hard to write, because it kept coming out very clinical. it’s still… kind of like that, but I guess that’s okay because this is Ezri’s perspective on her weird boob malfunction and her first thought isn’t ‘that’s kind of hot.’

She looked down at Quark’s face again to see his eyes fixed on her nipple, which was still pinched between her fingers and slightly red and abused looking. She dropped her hand and started to tug at a ruck in the bedsheet beside her.

Lol, Quark however…

“Sorry, I know, it’s pretty gross. I’m just- this is a new one on me.”

“No, no,” Quark waved off her statement. “Not gross. It’s just… interesting. And besides, come on, you were two knuckles deep in my ear canal yesterday; if anyone has the monopoly on the intersection of gross bodily phenomena and sexual arousal in this relationship it’s me.”

Interesting, here, being a word meaning ‘I’ve never had a bigger shame boner and it’s making you think you’re gross which only makes me more ashamed.’

“Right,” she smiled nervously.

“But this has really never happened before?” Quark said.

“Never when I wasn’t breastfeeding or very pregnant,” said the Dax part of her without filtering through the Ezri part at all.

What Could Possibly Be Happening Here? No, really, had not thought up why this was happening when I wrote this bit. It was originally going to be ‘stuff just happens sometimes, go with it’ before I came up with ‘the symbiont is having baby symbionts and Ezri’s body is sooo confused.’

She brought the damp tips of her fingers up to her mouth and sucked on them. Quark’s gaze stayed locked on her mouth.

“It doesn’t taste bad,” she said and then suddenly blushed. “I mean, it just tastes like normal breast milk, I don’t think I have an infection or anything. But I still don’t know what could have caused it.”

The tension between Quark being turned on and worried that this makes him the biggest creep in the world and Ezri being convinced that he’s grossed out by her repulsive body but also quietly freaking out about Her Health was very fun to write.

Secondhand memories that didn’t quite fit blurred in her head with half remembered descriptions of various medical conditions that didn’t quite fit and she brought her hands up to her temples anxiously.

“I think I should go to see Julian about it,” she said finally around a bitten bottom lip.

Concern for Her Health wins out over the not fun prospect of getting her kit off for her ex-boyfriend in a clinical setting.

Quark, who had been known to work with temperatures high enough to fry an egg, nodded earnestly. “Your health is so important.”

Quark genuinely worried about Her Health also, despite treating his own body like a renewable resource that can be burned through without much care.

[thedetectiveofinaba]

Character Study: Birds

SPARROW || innocence. big dreamer. waking up too early. walking home. being afraid of meeting new people. slim hands. always cold. reading a book under a tree. the smell of the forest. missing your home.

EAGLE || independent. caring too much for others. sharp looks. walking through the city late at night. the tallest and most spectacular building. iron. being single and okay in a world that tells you that being single is bad.

SWIFT || falling in love easily and heavily. traveler. the infinity of the bluest sky. storms. broken smiles. forgetting people who used to be your beloved ones. feeling out of place. mistrusting people. a fleeting romance.

CROW || feeling as if you have seen so much and as if you know a lot. prejudging. tight hugs that leave you breathless. a grey sky. serenity. intelligence. being left behind. chains. smoke. the pride of someone wise.

DOVE || petals. jealousy. being tired of living with the same old faces. whispered secrets. marble. sundresses. white clothes. the first sunset of winter. pride in who you are. learning to get over someone.

SEAGULL || family. golden light. the sea murmuring in your ear. summer afternoons. caramel ice cream. collecting seashells and other things and calling them treasures. living breezy and carefree. swimming in the sunlight.

CANARY || artistic. getting excited easily. dancing and singing while you are alone. looking at your friends having fun. no phone. being afraid of judgment. spring. a meaningful gift. the first ray of sunlight.

Tagged by: Stolen from @fatexbound​

Tagging: @chibitantei​, @the-flower-karasu​, @epitomees​ (Chie or Makoto)

[thedetectiveofinaba]

𝘼 𝙈𝙐𝙎𝙀'𝙎 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏 𝙊𝙁 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀𝙎 :

tag 5 other people to learn about their muses likes !!

favorite fruit(s) : pear, banana

favorite activity(ies) : Reading, playing piano, target shooting, hanging out with people she trusts.

favorite flower(s) : Lily, rest are equally as same in her opinion

favorite season(s) : Spring and Autumn

favorite insect(s) : Dragonfly

favorite animal(s) : Cats,

favorite gem(s) : Sapphire, onyx and quartz.

favorite time of day : Morning and evening.

Tagged by: @chibitantei

Tagging: @fatexbound ​ (Yosuke or Rise), @electricea ​, @jesterofinaba ​ (Copper or Judgement!Adachi), @dcfygraviity ​

[thedetectiveofinaba]

What’s your phone wallpaper: The lock screen one is from AA’s official art (music themed, has Edgeworth, Fran, Phoenix and Gumshoe) and actual phone wallpaper is a scenery photo I took during a trip

Last song you listened to: Mili - And Then There Is No More

Currently reading: Nothing.

Last movie: Jurassic Park.

What are you wearing: A green top and black pants w/ a stripe

Piercings / tattoos: None

Glasses / contacts or both?: Glasses

Last thing you ate: Omelette (and coffee)

Favorite color(s): Green, orange, blue.

Current Obsession: Limbus Company and Hyrule Warriors: Definitive Edition

Do you have a crush?: Does a fictional crush to Edgey, Yami Yugi and Shion count lmao

Favorite fictional character?: Naoto Shirogane from P4, Miles Edgeworth & Apollo Justice from AA and Lana from Hyrule Warriors.

Stolen from: @fatexbound​

(Voluntary) Tagging: the person who read(s) this post & wants to do this

[thedetectiveofinaba]

𝐆𝐄𝐓  𝐓𝐎  𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐌𝐔𝐍 .

what’s your phone wallpaper : music-themed AA wallpaper w/ Trilogy characters & a photo I took during a family trip

last song you listened to :  BESS - Ram pam pam

currently reading :  Nothing but the news.

last movie : Persona 3 the Movie 1: Spring of Birth

what are you wearing right now :  a dress and leggings.

piercings / tattoos? : Neither of the aforementioned things

glasses ? contacts? :  Glasses

last thing you ate? :  cereal with yogurt and toast for breakfast

favorite color(s) :  blue, orange, green and yellow.

current obsession :  GW2 and original YGO as anime version

do you have a crush right now? :  nah

favourite fictional character : Naoto, Yami Yugi, Apollo Justice and Miles Edgeworth

Stolen from: @fatexbound Tagging: a Dash lurker who sees this

[thedetectiveofinaba]

What form of gentle affection are you?

brushing loose hair behind your lover's ear

the gentle tenderness and care... deep yearning from the barest brush of skin... wanting to ask for more but being unsure... you spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not you will find love, and sometimes aren’t even sure if romance is something worth pursuing. you have spent so long being on your own, you simply struggle to picture yourself beside another person. perhaps you even secretly worry that you are too much for another person. it it important to not think of yourself as someone unlovable, as you are just as deserving of romance as any. however, it is also important to not place your value on relationships; you are a complete person on your own.

Stolen from: @chibitantei

Tagging: @orphemiss

[thedetectiveofinaba]

make a bento for your muse  

Tagged by: @tacitusauxilium​

Tagging: @kaeruninja​, @the-flower-karasu​, @wildxcardrebel​, @rebelli0us-mask​

[thedetectiveofinaba]

once you're stripped clean, what's at your core?

Your Result: acerbic wit

you're a mentor — an old scarred wolf, an injured soldier, a disgraced paladin. your teachings read as shamelessly pretentious, speaking in rhymes and biting down hard into anyone stupid enough to make the wrong move. this isn't your first life, nor your second, nor your sixth — you'll make the most of your time shackled to this world, no matter how many loops it takes to get it right. with every defeat, you reincarnate; a little smarter, a little quicker, crueler and nastier. will you choose to be brutal, equalizing, that final strike in the face of your enemies? will you go soft, become tender and domesticated? the choice is yours. it's not like i can stop you.

Tagged by: @tvstarkuma (thanks so much! ^_^)

Tagging: @iustitia-punientis, @rebelli0us-mask, @dcfygraviity, @mckiingbiird

[thedetectiveofinaba]

1. When are you usually online?

I’m usually online during evenings and/or afternoons most active during either the late afternoon, evening or late at night my time. This does cause me to miss most activity & squeeze hours from later hours bc smh why do most ppl I write with have to be from States -

2. What verses are you involved in outside of this page?

My multimuse side blog (with the url @multiplelivesinline​). It’s multi-fandom even though Pokemon seems to dominate there atm, if I decide to write or test any other muse than Naoto I’m likely to add them instead of another single muse blog. Side blogs have their own small headaches but they’re easy enough to deal w/ for now since it’s mostly followed by people who are mutuals with me or specific fandom folks (Pkmn RPC).

3. What is your biggest RP pet peeve?

Not reading people’s rules before they’re following or lurking. This especially goes for personal blogs, with whom I’ve had several headache inducing situations. One other pet peeve I have is not having backbone to say that your muse isn’t always canon or that you have a ship bias: if your muse is bi/straight even though canon says otherwise don’t claim that they’re canon compliant. People will only feel lied to when they find out later that your muse is closer to a hc-based and that can lead to bad outcomes.

4. Are you drawn to specific types of muses?

Either calm, cool and collected muses who are using their first impression as a facade of sorts or muses who care too much on what others think or try to be the Hero Who Can Save Everyone. My gender bias seems to be on ladies even though one of my biased muses is Gladion from Sun/Moon, the edgelord brooding side cast whose backstory is sth what shook me at first but gave me reasons to care on him. One day I’m using his AU verse for BSD more.

5. Are there recurring themes in your writing that people might not notice?

The theme of how there can be darkness and failure in your life but it’ll always pass due time and how there’s small momemts of joy in life. It’s how I tend to see hurt/comfort or angst used for the best end goals and my personal mantra in life. Time heals all wounds, even though it might take months never give in or think that it’s worthless to even try. There is always a way and people to help you along the way, depressive shit or moments of desperation will exist but you will always survive through.

6. What are your favorite RP trends?

Slice of life stuff what is focused on small joys of life in middle of a greater storyline, character dynamics studies and how they fluctuate + the trend of opposites attract. In Naoto’s case it’s the concept of her personal growth during P4 and after it & how she’s not the most extrovert type piques my interest. and the gradual realization on why media Hell is a bad place to end up in. She hates that part of her career the most. 

The character dynamic is something I noticed later on the AUs what have a Naoto who isn’t too opposed to chaotic behavior/her temperament or ego taking over her rationality more. It’s thrilling to write the contrast what works fluently without any big hassle: Especially Michiru (1/4 angel!AU) has been a clear sign on how her type is an extrovertish person who can do things you wouldn’t assume from them or an anomaly. 

7. What is your process for starting a new story with someone?

A starter call and/or plotting calls continued with Tumblr IMs are an easiest entryway for starting a thread I want to plot. Another option is for me to send an ask and approaching you in IMs if I get an idea I 100 % want to do. I don’t personally do open RP posts and want clear plans so neither party will have an unpleasant experience. 

8. How do you feel about duplicates?

Duplicates are cool, and a neat thing to exist. I’m not chasing them away w/ a pitchfork. I can’t ofc assume that my girl will 100 % vibe with them automatically but if that happens assume me to throw an idea for a sibling/twin AU or multiverse interactions at some point. (Also if you get any ideas you’re welcome to go to IMs to plot around that & talk OOC stuff, I’m not the most outward person ever to exist & am likely to say hi back.)

9. How long have you been involved in roleplaying?

For about 5 and half years. I started this as an extension of my already existing writing hobby for own stories with OCs when my online friend enabled me to go for it and discovered pretty quickly that even though my Naoto was crappy at first I really enjoyed this & wanted to continue even though I had a rough patch at first. 

10. Is there a muse or verse you wish you could write in, but haven’t?

I’ve had the small interest to try writing Atsuro Kihara from DeSu for some time, probably the only thing stopping me is the lack of energy to sink hours to a JRPG to see if I have enough inspiration for that. The other character who I have memed on is writing Kanji or Yumi from P4. If I write Yumi though, I am deleting the forced romance BS. No forced romance paths, we delete their existence like based people who want fluent romances.

Tagged by: @fatexbound​

Tagging: Steal it from me if you want to ^_~

[thedetectiveofinaba]

What kind of NPC are you?

Your Result: morally grey magic user who is kind of a hermit

ah, an intellectual. AND morally grey, how sexy of you ;) but in more seriousness, the party of adventurers who run into you and could sorely use your help or guidance have one hell of a time trying to figure you out. you do not find yourself aligning with traditional groups or institutions, but rather wherein your interests lie. you live for doing what you want to do and are just straight vibing. and that confuses a lot of people, but you stay unbothered. that's a magnificent quality about you, that part of you that has learned to not give a shit what other people think because you know that it's a waste of time. you know what you care about and how you want to live and that is what is important to you. while your trust is not lightly earned, anyone who does manage to get on your good side has got themselves a very powerful and very loyal friend. rock on you funky little wizard <|:D

Tagged by: @orphemiss

Tagging: @tvstarkuma, @rebelli0us-mask, @electricea