#tag yourself I'm the first one
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Small observation based on my own friend group
#aromantic#aro#arospec#aspec#tag yourself i'm the first one#this won't represent everyone this is just for fun etc#lilh art
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#love nikki#love nikki dress up queen#love nikki lore#love nikki spoilers#LNDUQ#tag yourself I'm the first one#love nikki nidhogg#love nikki blood curse#it's for science#polls
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How do you sleep at night? No one to hide behind Betrayed every alibi you had You had every chance to make amends instead you got drunk on bitterness And you still claim that you're innocent, it's sad
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#christian horner#for the blacklists#I recognize that christian horner in a gifset is NOT the kind of content people in ricnation are looking for rn#debated posting this but fuck it#me 🤝🏼 daniel: two bitches that love a depressing song lyric#it's about breaking free from a toxic relationship and the importance of prioritizing one's own needs#and that it can take a long time to recognize the dynamics at play in those relationships#and removing yourself from that situation can be just as hard and that just kind of epitomizes daniel with christian for me#in the return to rbr I think daniel trusted that CH would at the very least be straight forward and upfront with him#even if the end result wasn't what daniel wanted or hoped for#daniel could handle not getting the rbr seat#but something he couldn't handle was the truth that the one person he believed he could trust was gaslighting him and using him#and daniel had a light bulb moment - the point where you realize that sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away#and so he got out#also this is obviously my interpretation of a relationship that I have zero insider info on and maybe they are chill now#as always…thinking too deeply about people I don’t know in the tags#also i recognize that this song is actually about a tiktok hype house but whatever rbr are that immature so it fits#this is my first go with this type of editing in PS so if you have any tips on style and execution i'm all ears#Apparently i also owe CH an apology bc i was so sure he didn't shake daniel's hand pre-race in singapore but he actually did and i missed i#during the breakdown i was having anyway fuck him still
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For real tho health freaks who scream about how sugar and salt will kill us all and try to push for restrictions on things like candy and chips for SNAP recipients or politicians who try from time to time to replace food stamps all together and give out Government Approved Staples like bread and peanut butter and Government Cheese are gonna kill a whole lotta sick and disabled people like
Diabetics
POTS sufferers
Hypotensives
People with peanut allergies
People with celiac disease or wheat allergies
The lactose intolerant
People who can't eat solid food
People who are undernourished for any reason and need all the calories they can pack on
So-called "picky eaters" who can't tolerate certain tastes and textures without getting violently ill
A myriad of other human conditions that cannot be neatly tallied into categories because the human body and human experience is vast and infinitely variable
But I don't think ableds really care about us and our health like they like to claim so they can harass us about it, do you?
#tag yourself I'm five out of ten#health food is gonna kill me one day i swear to God#vasovagal syncope/POTS was actually a fun disease to have since the treatment is honestly junk food#to get my sugar and sodium levels up quickly so i don't pass out#but then the United States government in their infinite compassion slashed my food stamps in half#and now i can't afford 'luxeries' like enough chips and candy i need to not faint and concuss myself. again#add the celiac and to a lesser extent the lactose intolerancy and now two fruit allergies...#and I'm paying three times the amount for like fifteen food items and that is accounting for the food inflation even ableds are facing#whatever food shortages ableds are going thru right now i swear to you it's much much worse if you're sick/disabled#stop policing what food people buy with the money their given i don't care if it's a paycheck or welfare#SOMETIMES I'll get a pitiful and defensive 'well how was i supposed to know?!' when i confront people bugging me about this#you don't know so shut your trap about it in the first place#most people just ignore the reason and accuse me of making up excuses to eat 'unhealthy' foods tho#health nut#ableism#systemic ableism#food#Salt blessed Salt
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do you have any thoughts on the story of abraham and isaac? my parents talk about it and praise abraham for being willing to kill his son which..... scares me to say the least, and i'd love to hear your perspective as someone who seems more well-adjusted
Where I am now, it disgusts me more than anything. The interpretation of "I'm willing to sacrifice your life if I was told to" feels like the step before "I put you into this world and I can take you out of it." It's entitlement to a child, who is an independent individual, just because they are dependent on you for survival. I prefer the interpretation of understanding the actions you're taking and the reasons why (like how there's multiple religions that don't eat pork because it was so unsafe to eat at the time), especially if it's at someone else's expense.
Where I was in the thick of it all, it gave me morbid comfort that scares me now. I had fantasies of being a martyr for the church and the idea of being the next Isaac was just so appealing. Being a hand-selected sacrifice chosen by the Good Lord Himself? Sign me the fuck up, babey!
I think if I admitted that to my family, they'd be horrified.
It's another one of those stories or beliefs where I think the majority of christians just regurgitate what they've heard. It's a point of pride and devotion, but there's no personal reflection or cross-cultural awareness of it. Lean not unto your own understanding and whatnot. It's the potential that scares me the most, like the Quiverfull movement with the Duggars or Turpins. I'm sure there's stories now, but I can't remember them off the top of my head
(Also I will be telling my therapist someone on Tumblr called me "more well-adjusted" thank you anon)
#My therapist has called me 'surprisingly well-adjusted' before#He has since retracted that title and given it back multiple times#I don't know if you relate more to the 'Scared of my parents for praising that' or the 'Scared that I was okay with that' part#maybe both#either way the cycle ends here with you#No more bible quips and quotes that harm you and others. You find your own understanding and eventually it feels nice#It doesn't at first I will admit that. At first it feels like you're gonna go to Hell Right Here Right Now#But eventually you learn to trust yourself. It's a slow process. I've been in therapy for a good 6-7 years now#But one day you wake up and notice life feels more authentic. You feel like your values matter (and they actually do!)#And again it's slow. It's in bits and piece and back and forth. My worst habit is switching something from religious to moral#I highly recommend this type of therapy called ACT it's a CBT subtype#I'm usually not a fan of cbt so u know it helps if I recommend a subtype of it#CBT shit is so cheap I got a workbook from the library#this isnt relevant to the post but#my cat is trying to steal my burger king rn#it gets better (I have a cat) but progress isn't linear (eating burger king)#ex christian#religious trauma#anon tag
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Perks of being an artist; The ability to draw my grown ass adult men non-human F/Os as shotas for my own amusement
#Emile's Arts#Proship Selfship#Sh0ta#You get the one censored tag and I'm never doing it again#I'd love for you all to guess who they are but I character tag all my F/O posts so fdkgjdfg#Just. Guess to yourself before reading the tags for me#Captain Pikachu#Monokuma#Nezu#Kyube#Monokuma pudgy tumby my beloved#There are not enough chubby shotas in the world!!!!! Give them tummies!!!!!#I blanked out while designing Kyube's outfit#And honestly it doesn't feeeeeeel super Kyube#But it does feel weird space alien trying to fit in#Which is enough for me#The scarf if cause I wasn't going to give him his cat ears but wanted to keep the shape that comes out of them#But I gave everyone else their ears so it just seemed unfair to take Kyube's away kfgkfdjg#Oh also#Credit where credit is due my boyfriend Zayne drew Shota!Cap first#Cause I didn't have the confidence to do it myself#And then I IMMEDIATELY had to put him in a short jacket#Sporty guy <3#Human Cap with the Ash Ketchum squiggles my beloved#I probably won't be doing this again but kfjgkfdj It was very fun#They're so very cute <3
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the number of possible song variations in stray gods is still so nuts to me. i feel like I need to draw diagrams
#evan speaks#stray gods#i mean the formula is easy in most cases its like 3 to the power of the number of choices right#minus scenarios where you can block yourself out of an option#ie when i was too mean to persephone and blocked myself from doing the charming option for a choice#in challenging the queen#and at least one song has a choice where there's straight up only two options instead of three#but also im nuts about like. choices that affect other choices#like. In phantom pains#as far as I can tell. the second choice only has three recordings for it? like it's not affected by your first choice#but the entire rest of the song IS affected by that first choice#so on like the third choice there's three separate recordings for each option. depending on your first choice#for a total of nine#(I'm assuming but I'm reasonably confident. I've only heard four though)#and I have no idea how much further it snowballs I haven't dug that deep into that song yet#also! i have NO idea what prompted Eros to sing in the ritual last time#could a dialogue choice outside of song have affected that? I dunno!#also also the trial. there's callbacks to other songs in that right. how far does that go#ive been thinking about just repeatedly replaying certain songs to hear more versions of them#but uh. might not work for the trial.#that's scary#some questions I don't really want answers to yet I still wanna explore for myself#just thinking out loud#tag ramblings
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Welcome back to the NEXT EXCITING INSTALLMENT OOOOOF!!! Milo Confuses His Lefts and Rights So Bad He Fucking Dies.
I'm gonna try and give like. Bare minimum context. Bc I don't wanna show my whole hand. Stay with me I don't have words or explanations sorry
I'm trying to follow The Rule. The 180 Rule I think it's called. The Avoid Spontaneously Teleporting Your Characters And Making Them Inexplicably Switch Places Rule. These are just key panels, again, bare minimum to see what angles/movements I'm making here
Here's where I fuck up. Fuck my entire life. Ect
Okay. You see the Issue. I will show you some more
This is part of my first roughs for this panel/page. Let's unpick this.
1) Seemingly Correct Placement. Yippee!
2) Ran into the same issue written above, where the bodies are blocking MOST of the Most Significant THINGS. I CANNOT stress this enough. There's SYMBOLISM here, that is a Key Component to what you're supposed to fucking infer.
3) Scabbard is on the right side here and should be on the left. Which led me to make that scribbly Alfonse ref I posted earlier.
So I revise it. I was SO FUCKING PROUD OF THIS. Let's unpick it.
1) Eyes are drawn to The Focal Points. Alfonse, hand on his hip, resting on his sword (sheathed). It's a relaxed/at ease pose, so it doesn't Have to mind handedness too much.* Meanwhile, you see more of Moe's pose, staff slung over the shoulder. It's been holding the staff like this the whole time I imagine, just mostly out of frame during page 1.
2) The poses are MUCH clearer due to the placement. However. You are seeing the problem here.
3) THEY FUCKING TELEPORTED (OR MAYBE I'M STILL CONFUSED???? IT IS POSSIBLE.)
*I guess one thought that's occurring to me is maybe the same "don't mind the handedness at rest" approach could apply here??? Edit for Moe here to clarify
This isn't even factoring in whatever the fuck is happening on page 3, but I do think it's fucked. Like, just from my brief overview/take my word for it, I think they are on the Correct sides on page 3. Which may make the Switch/Teleporting more egregious.
So like. Where do I even go from here. Please for the love of god help me.
#wip#my notes#i am so serious about this like for real. i have been putting So much thought into this. i have been studying/reffing So Much for this#like... this certainly isn't my first attempt at something more narrative (?) but. it really feels like my big break.#and like YEAH it is carried by official dialogue but you have NO idea. how much i've been putting into this.#i almost feel bad spoiling that panel bc. it is such a huge one. like i'm aiming for impact/implications/parallels.#two people who seem to be opposites who couldn't be more alike if they tried who are still SO defined by their upbringings ect ect#or more like shaped by it i don't feel like rewriting that tag LMFAO#i talk too much though. main point my sisters are overseas and if i drop this in the art chat#that's mostly my sisters' friends i'm just adjacent to it (still friendly too but yk i'm v much just the tag along little brother)#and if i don't get a response i'm blowing the whole world up.#also sorry it's just you and my handwriting this time. fend for yourself. i'm so sorry.
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Ohhhh Folly my beloved. I understand you like no one else does. I get it. Cycles of self hatred and not forgiving your inner child. I get you Folly AUGH IM SO ILL IM FUCKED UP ABOUT THIS FOREVER. AUGHHHH. FOLLYYYY
#text tag#I am NOT maintagging my insane ramblings ouhhhg you guys don't even know how emo I am about her ohhhhhh#Nebbie text posting#You guys don't even KNOW half of it .you don't. Not even people in patronage. I think cloudy's the only one who'd get her like I do#The cleave is such a metaphor about self loathing and how growing older changes you. Yeah okay sure yeah the tree god who's you is mad at—#you for having more potential than it when it's also you and it made you. This is a love letter to everybody who's hated themselves for—#not living up to expectatations in childhood and hating how they can't create like they used to and being jealous of their younger selves.#But that younger self is you too and when you hate it you hate yourself and you hurt yourself. And you become consumed by it#The great one and the dreamer and the parasite are all the same person and Folly is made of all three parts of herself fighting eachother#She's so ohhhhgg fuck. She's so tragic I'm so fucked up about this#AUUGH. AAHHHFGGHH CAN ANYONE HEAR ME. FUCK!!!!!! AAUUGH#LIKE OKAY. LOOK. IT SAYS. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE IN THE STORY THAT ITS OWN HATRED BECAME A PARASITE. LIKE#THAT HATE IS NOT AN OUTSIDE FORCE THAT'S HER OWN HATE FOR HERSELF FROM HERSELF OF HERSELF.#IM SO FUCKED UP ABOUT THIS. FUCK. THIS IS ALL IM GONNA THINK ABOUT FOR SO LONG#HI. HERE WITH NEW REVELATIONS TWO DAYS LATER. I've seen it interpreted very ALSO CORRECTLY as—#experiences of a victim of child abuse and even CSA. And I wanna say those takes are incredibly real too.#Cycles of self harm is the first way I saw it but the tree as a mentor or parental figure that becomes jealous of their child—#rings true with the experiences of a lot of people and. ouhgn fuck it hurts. The cleaveeeeeeee the CLEAVEEEEEEEEE#<- insane person rambling and sobbing I'm so fucked up about the cleave.
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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖
Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝
The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️
For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3
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PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!
~
Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.
Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).
Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)
The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.
Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.
You awake?
Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.
He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.
“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.
“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”
“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.
Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.
“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”
A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.
“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.
“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.
“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”
Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.
“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”
“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.
“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”
Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.
“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.
“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”
“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.
The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.
“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.
He had to steel himself for his next question.
“What do you mean?”
“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.
A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.
“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’
“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.
“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”
Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.
“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”
“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”
Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.
“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”
“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”
Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)
“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”
Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.
“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”
That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.
“Probably not half as much as I did.”
Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.
If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.
It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.
Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇
Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.
yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤
From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.
#blind channel fanfiction#blind channel rpf#ollixallu#24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling#<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw#everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone#one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3#probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol#anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3
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y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'
#like maybe a tiny bit of media literacy... might save you#and if you think i'm being mean like. its okay if you don't get it at first. it's okay if you don't understand the themes. but maybe#instead of stamping your feet and saying this makes no sense and i hate what they're doing and and and#maybe you could try listening to other people's interpretations of things and you'll find that what the show is trying to tell you becomes#more clear! would you look at that. wild how that happens#like im sorry you're entitled to your opinions but calling things bad writing just because you don't quite get it or it doesn't resonate#with you personally... i don't think you should just say this was shitty and worthless#the examples im using are because both resonate with me btw. 73 yards was existential horror it was hill house and bly manor#(im going to write about this in another post btw bc it compels me so)#it was about the way fear of abandonment can haunt you how mental illness can haunt you how you feel like you can drive people away#just by being yourself (the Woman was Herself what caused ruby to be abandoned was Her it's about her feeling as though she was the cause#of everyone who left her even as a baby even the people who loved her most could decide to not love her at the drop of a hat)#colin bridgerton is masking and faking a personality because it has been proven that time and time again#being Himself is Wrong that he annoys people he makes himself into what people expect of him because he's tired of being abandoned too#his family ignores and does not reply to his letters this season PEN stopped replying to his letters#his brother was cruel to him for being a romantic his friends LAUGHED AT HIM for saying sex is meaningful to him and don't they feel lonely#his Fake Rake persona makes viewers cringe because! its!! fake!!! he's faking it! HE GETS CALLED OUT ON IT TWICE IN EP ONE#if you don't understand he's faking it then that's on you at that point! i don't know! maybe take a minute to sit in the discomfort and ask#why did this show make me react this way and do you think maybe it was on purpose#''73 yards was confusing'' do you think confusion may be one of the ways ruby feels about her abandonment?#there is a theme in all of her episodes so far is it ''badly written'' unclear to you or do you just refuse to think critically about it#txtly#and im sorry for tagging this its just for my blog i kinda wish they still didnt show up in tags if i tag them all the way at the bottom#[old lady ruby voice] ''i used to be able to tag things just for myself once upon a time''#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#doctor who#doctor who spoilers
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After every (American) election, there's always a bunch of posts going around exposing psyops or pointing out how there were posts on this site designed to get people to not vote blue.
And in the lead up to every (American) election, there's a bunch of posts being reblogged that are clearly either psyops or manipulative posts that tell people it's perfectly okay for them not to vote at all.
Like, there's history going back years on this hellsite where the alt-right intentionally tried to undermine or indoctrinate people so they get/stay in power. History a lot of y'all know of or were even there for and saw go down in real time.
But sure, be uncritical of what you reblog, don't bother looking at the source website, or just put things out there without caveats or nuance.
#i know media literacy is trash these days#and that there's intentional misinformation/no information about elections#but i've seen people who have reblogged things about psyops in the past who both reblog and support current ones#but unlike other social media sites you can reblog a post but then stick nuance in the tags#you can be critical of something while also gritting your teeth and supporting it because the alternative is worse#you can (and should) also be critical of the systems that lead to that in the first place#throwing your hands up and saying there's no point and you aren't going to bother#and it's fine if others do the same#is just giving up and saying it's too hard for you and you don't care about the harm that comes to others#the canadian system is different (though first past the post tries to make it the same)#but you can bet i'd vote for trudeau even though fuck him and his racist ass#if the alternative was pp because while trudeau sucks for many reasons#pp is fucking terrifying to me as a disabled queer person#and i'm lucky in that i'm white and canadian and can pass as cishet so i'd be spared the worst of it#others would not be so lucky#especially when his fans are eager to hate crime people and only hold themselves back because they would face social consequences#also learn what is private criticism you keep to yourself or talk to friends about#and what is okay to talk about publicly#some things you don't fucking say when it will be taken as permission for antipathy or approval by fascists
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I'm not sure why someone would leap to compare Cait/Vi from Arcane and Mizrak/Olrox from Castlevania: Nocturne, as they're characters from different shows, different story universes, and different studios (Arcane was made by the French studio Fortiche, and only distributed by Netflix, while Nocturne is made by the US studio Powerhouse Animation, which makes a lot of shows for Netflix). Cait/Vi also has existed in a series with two seasons, and were a thing for relatively little of season 1, while Nocturne has only 1 season (season 2 airs at the end of January 2025), and were more of a thing in season 1. It's also comparing an f/f couple and an m/m couple, different dynamics, and the former is a pairing of a white woman/a mixed-race woman, and the latter is two men of color.
CaitVi is a story about classism and police brutality, while Mizrox is a story of European and Christian supremacy, colonization, and racism. The main through-lines for comparison are the analysis of privilege and how opposites meet and attract on a battlefield, and that they're both queer pairings. But whereas Cait is privileged over Vi for being rich and a member of a policing organization (which murdered Vi's parents) while Vi is from a poor background in the slums, Mizrak is privileged over Olrox for being highly ranked in a supremacist European religious organization and Olrox is a member of a marginalized indigenous group, which was colonized by followers of Mizrak's religion. You can compare the writing of the two, but to pretend they're 1:1 just because they're both queer pairings in shows that are on Netflix is bizarre.
And to pretend Mizrox has no build-up is to not have eyes. Olrox is an investigative person who's curious about the world overseas he's been invited to. As a member of a marginalized group now in the hotbed of the world that mass murdered many of his people, he's going to be wary of them and treat the area with suspicion. He knows they view him as lesser, even though he's a powerful vampire (likely he assumes the vampires view him as lesser). He likely wanted an in to learn things that Erzsebet, Drolta, and Emmanuel wouldn't tell him themselves, and it makes sense he'd target Emmanuel's right-hand man as a potential in, particularly if he found the guy attractive, as he seemingly did. Maybe the fact that Emmanuel, this uber-white French guy, had a man of color as his right-hand man intrigued Olrox, too.
Olrox was clearly extra intrigued by Mizrak's training and their conversation in the courtyard, especially when Mizrak didn't attempt to hurt him and just talked to him, and it seemed like he had fun with their tussle (like you can tell from Olrox's expressions he was enjoying the back and forth). I imagine the "this dude is hot and I want to bang"-ometer in Olrox's head skyrocketed. And I don't know how much action Mizrak has been getting in his position, especially when, unlike Olrox, Mizrak has to live around anyone he sleeps with. Olrox is a foreigner and can just go home if he makes a mess. A hot guy who's interested in Mizrak, seems a bit different from other vampires, and has some civility seems like someone who would intrigue Mizrak, especially if he wants more intel on the vampires coming to his city that he won't get from Emmanuel or Erzsebet.
Even if you're watching the story for the first time, the whole set-up for the courtyard sequence is incredibly obvious. Whether it appeals to you or not is subjective, but pretending the later scene of them in bed comes out of nowhere is bizarre. Olrox very clearly invites Mizrak to meet again with sexual innuendo at the end of the scene, and Mizrak is very clearly intrigued, even if you don't have the English subtitles on while Mizrak is staring after Olrox's departing back.
You can just see a lot in his expression. He's not disgusted or repulsed: he's curious. The story doesn't need to show every single moment of them reuniting somewhere, talking more, or perhaps just immediately moving to physical intimacy if one or both of them just really want to get off. I mean I'd personally love more of their story, which is why I wrote my main fanfic of them, but it's not necessary from an overall narrative standpoint. Olrox is introduced at the start of the story, and the team was clearly interested in exploring who he is as a character more. He doesn't have to stalk Richter for the entire narrative to do that, and having him pair up with Mizrak also develops more of Emmanuel's organization because we get to know Mizrak, who has no apparent connection to the heroes other than he works for Emmanuel. It also better develops the vampires as Olrox and Drolta vie for power, with Mizrak as a potential pawn. And overall it makes the different factions in the story feel full of people with their own agendas, ready for a showdown where those agendas don't fully align, but is bound to be interesting when it happens (such as when Olrox appears to stand between Mizrak and Richter in the dungeons).
Also enemies-to-lovers is a very popular trope. And if you haven't heard of people going overseas to get laid um... what rock are you living under? Sudden make-outs/flirting in action stories are also pretty common. Not even getting into the historic appeal of Christian x the vampire as a trope, including opposites attract.
I do think Nocturne S1 had some feeling of rush on it, likely due to the desire to tell something of a whole story over worries of there not being a season 2 (it was renewed like right after the series was aired), and you can make criticisms of just not getting enough Mizrox, but the elements are there and I'm not sure how someone would miss them, especially if they were looking. And I honestly think it still works just fine as a narrative. Most narratives with a cast of more than 2-4 people are going to be a bit tight in TV format. Arcane also had elements of rush, which is likely due to it only getting 2 seasons.
Anyway, as someone who loves both Cait/Vi and Mizrak/Olrox, they're both good pairings.
#olrox#mizrak#not all things that end up on netflix are made by netflix#if you like one pairing from a thing on there that says nothing about why the other pairing in another thing exists#especially when it's written by different people from different countries#this is so bizarre#pretty sure that post was just to shit on netflixvania and yeah whatever knock yourself out#it's just fucking bizarre#'here's a queer couple from one video game adaptation that shows up on netflix that I did like and here's one I didn't'#feels like a really pathetic reach imo#then again the post was racist as fuck so I'm not surprised#perpetuating the racist idea that first nation people no longer exist and talking about wokeness like wtf#folks don't have to like either pairing or either show but good grief that was some noxious bs in the tag#castlevania: nocturne#castlevania nocturne#I apologize to people in the Arcane tag who are confused#I promise not all of us in this fandom are as weird as that random racist was
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ROM MY FRIEND ROM :D
#she's so cool :D#she doesn't attack until you attack her first so someone made an ambience video of her just chillin!#https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLGWy8WrA0#<- this one!#the music is trying so hard to make her menacing but she's just swaying back and forth like :::::o#i'm thinking in my funny reverse isekai'd micolash au artic is just going about her nightly routine#when she sees one of rom's spiders just. in the tub. and the lights aren't on but there's a little nightlight thingy plugged in#so its dark eyes are shining in the dim light and artic's internally freaking the fuck out as she sloooowly backs away and shuts the door#and goes to lightly shake micolash awake like “mico. mic. wake the fuck up why is there a spider in the bathroom”#he's like “...whuh? take care of it yourself.....” and artic's like “dude this thing is huge and it's covered in eyes and-”#and he suddenly gets up like “ROM???????”#and thus artic is out in the yard at midnight watching this guy hug a giant spider creature wondering how she got in this situation lmaoooo#but it isn't long until she and rom are buddies too ouo#i imagine rom can switch between her human and spider forms? and her human form has those glowy flowers in her hair!#also i'm picturing beast mom seeing rom for the first time and being like “stay back” assuming she's a threat#but this little shapeshifter beast artic is like “rom!!!!!” and runs to hug the big spooky spider friend ouo#and it takes her a second to find a spot to hug bc she doesn't wanna poke any of rom's eyes lol#silly self-indulgent tag#blood buddies
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Look. Look.
I need to get it out of my system, okay? I just need to. Immediately
Himmel + cheer up tickles
The reason?
I rest my case. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk I am slowing descending into madness here
#not me literally writing 1863635 tickles hcs about this guy HE MAKES ME LOSE MY MIND#never though I would get attatched to him#literally watching the first ep sent a screenshot of him to my friend saying 'If he dies I'm dropping out'#one minute after I was sending her screams#anyway#never been so close to writing a self insert fic in MY ENTIRE LIFE. probably will commission some art w him in the future LIKE AAAAA#Wanna put him in a mcrowave and SHAKE BECAUSE HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU LEAVE MARKS HOW DARE YOU LEAVE A PIECE OF YOURSELF IN EVERY VILLAG#EVERY FRIEND EVERY ADVENTURE EVERY INTERACTION#and don't even let me start talking about Friern because I will go crazy#this anime broke and healed me so much#Kanene being Kanene#not even going to tag this w the anime I shall perish alone#'oh but kanene when you say a self insert you mean a reade-' nope. i'm dragging my sona by the hand and throwing into that world#and then carefully building an entire background with daydreamed interactions and relationships until I get to the point of cheer up tickle#Gosh haven't done one of those since..... 2018 I think#Time to get my dear oc out of under my bed as it seems
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these are from different stories, but can I just say how nice it feels to have the words coming - not easy, per se, but definitely easier than they have the last couple of years?? i am definitely having more fun, put it that way. i think i get too in my head sometimes re: trying to make something good, and forget to just personally have fun with the process without worrying about the result. and the worst is that i'm actually confident in my writing! so it's not that i'm worried about creating something not good, tbh, just. not perfect. oof it's the perfection thing again isn't it. of course it is. ughhhh.
ANYWAY. these (again from different stories) made me giggle:
“Wooing? No, no, Mr. Spock, I don't believe Dr. McCoy would take too well to being wooed. That's why I intend to trick him into a relationship with us.”
“I did try to evacuate the ship, Captain. They...” Scotty winces, “they may have committed a wee mutiny. Although as I was already committing a wee mutiny, I suspect the two might actually cancel out.”
#stretching that writing muscle tag#none of you asked to be invited into my one-on-one writing therapy sessions between myself and i#but unfortunately for you i decided to hold them in a public space lmao#anyway you can block that first tag if it's annoying - that's the one i'm using for this stuff#but i've decided i need to be very very kind to myself while i try to get back into something like a good habit#and that will include stuff like this tbh. sometimes you gotta treat yourself like a skittish dog you're trying to coax close for pets#i am very good at coaxing skittish dogs. let's see if i can be good at this as well lmao
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