#tafl fic

[randomkposts]

Tamaki Uchida as a Persona user

I want Tamaki fic. From If to P2. As she went to two schools that had demon outbreaks, became a devil summoner/part time detective while going to  college, then was probably awake during the dark hour, and that's probably the most in the know POV possible over multiple games. Unless you do Philemon or Nyarlathotep's POV, I guess. 

She was traumatized by the first one, refused to participate in the second one, and had moved city's and a world ending event happened.

Then the dark hour

I want Eriko/ Elly to drag her into the quest

They are both on the fencing team. Eriko is fascinated by The supernatural. And brave. And Tamaki knows the supernatural well from personal experience

So P1 protagonist, Mark, Nanjo Kei, Maki, and Reiji are doing the SEBEC questline. 

Yukino, Brown, Yuka, and Elly set out on the Snow Queen quest. Eriko notices Tamaki knows her Demon lore, and refuses the sword she offers, instead pulling her into the party

So on one hand Tamaki and Tadashi being a Devil Summoner duo is a cool concept if you choose to forget he's a self insert. Weird pairing, apparently canon. 

He is probably a strong source of support to her canonically, if you choose to view him as a character divorced from the self insert nature. But also we don't see it in focus often, so… I could take or leave him. 

But it would be interesting to have  a character who can summon Personas and Demons, and she is a crossover of 3 fandoms with her appearances in games. 

I would say Tamaki’s arcana is Strength for her starting persona.  The other bests are Justice, and chariot to start. Bads are, hanged man, the devil.

In persona 2 IS ,her goods are lovers, and the other 3 affinities.

In EP, one of her bests has changed to magician. Judgment has shown up in good. Possibly in place of lovers.  Hanged man is neutral. 

Hmm

Anyway as a Strength arcana, I'm thinking her starting persona might be Hervor. (From wikipedia)

Hervor was born after her father Angantyr's death (he died during a duel against the Swedish hero Hjalmar) to his wife Svafa, who was daughter of a Jarl Bjarmar. Rather than take on sewing or be raised as a bond-maid like other girls, Hervor proved to be as strong as the boys and learned archery, swordsmanship, and horse riding.

She dressed like a man, fought, killed and pillaged under her male surname Hjörvard. When she learned of her father's identity she decided to live as her father and to find Tyrfing, the magic sword."

One day, she arrived with her fleet to Munarvágr on Samsø (Samsey), but she was the only one who dared to embark on the haunted island. The remainder of her crew feared the nightly activities around the barrows on the island. As she approached the barrows she saw a fire shining above them, and she approached the largest one. She then talked with a loud voice summoning her father Angantyr to reveal himself. She said that as his daughter she was entitled to her rightful inheritance, Tyrfing. Then, she also summoned her eleven uncles and she did so with such a loud voice and such harsh words that finally, her father's voice was heard and he asked not to pursue her quest. She did not give in but continued to ask for her rightful inheritance.

Finally, the grave opened and in its centre a fire was shining. There she saw her father, and he warned her not to ask for the sword. It would bring death to their whole clan if she used it. Still, she persisted. Finally the sword was cast out of the grave, and she eagerly gripped it, bid farewell to her dead kinsmen and walked to the shore.

However, when she arrived at the shore, the ships were gone. Her crew had been scared away by the fires and the thunder from the barrows."

Eventually, she managed to leave the island and arrived at the court of Gudmund of Glæsisvellir. She still dressed herself as a man and called herself Hervarðr. Cunningly, she helped the king to win playing tafl. However, she also slew a courtier who tried to unsheathe Tyrfing after she had left it on a chair. Then, she resumed her Viking activities, and travelled far and wide.

After a while she grew tired of the adventures and returned to her foster-father Bjartmar. At Bjartmar's residence, she betook herself to sewing and embroidering like other girls, and was considered to be a beautiful and good-mannered girl.

King Gudmund's son Höfund, then arrived to ask for her hand, and she said yes. The old king Gudmund arranged a grand wedding, and entrusted the kingdom in the hands of the young couple. They lived happily and had two sons who were given the names Angantyr and Heidrek.

The sword Tyrfing would continue its ill work, and Heidrek slew his brother Angantyr with the sword. "

Tamaki does not so much go searching for a sword, but answers the call and receives a COMP. She goes on a journey and potentially saves her school or damns it. 

Then she tries to get out, to go do fairly normal girl stuff, fencing,and  avoid future Devil instances.

Of course, that doesn't work long term, but she tried.

For Evolved persona, am considering Bradamante.

(From Wikipedia)

“Bradamante, a female Christian knight in the service of Charlemagne, is the sister of Rinaldo and the daughter of Duke Amon, the duke of Dordognes.[4] She falls in love with a Saracen warrior named Ruggiero, but she refuses to marry him unless he converts from Islam. An expert in combat, she wields a magical lance that unhorses anyone it touches, and rescues Ruggiero from being imprisoned by the wizard Atlantes.She is described as wearing white, with a white shield and a crest of a pennon.

She is one of the French warriors fighting during a Saracen invasion into France. She is in the middle of fighting a Saracen warrior, Rodomont, when another Saracen warrior, Ruggiero, informs her that Charlemagne is retreating. Bradamante tries to leave to join the rest of the French forces, but Rodomont keeps her from leaving. Ruggiero, finding Rodomont’s actions dishonorable, steps in to fight Rodomont to allow Bradamante to leave. However, Bradamante is unable to catch up to Charlemagne’s army and instead returns to Rodomont and Ruggiero, feeling guilty for leaving someone else to fight in her place. Rodomont is impressed with the honor of Ruggiero and Bradamante and rides off, leaving Ruggiero and Bradamante together. They are mutually impressed with one another and share their identities. Bradamante also removes her helmet, revealing to Ruggiero for the first time that she is a woman. An ambush then manages to separate them.

The two lovers are separated many more times in the story, and Bradamante faces many challenges. She travels to a castle made of steel to rescue Ruggiero from the wizard Atlantes with the help of the sorceress Melissa and a magic ring, escapes from a castle full of illusions,and encounters many other difficulties.

After the lovers are reunited, Rinaldo grants Ruggiero his blessing to marry Bradamante. However, her parents reject the suitor even after Ruggiero converts to Christianity, preferring a Leo, the son of the Greek emperor Constantine. Bradamante manages to convince King Charlemagne to decree that she will only marry a man who can withstand her in battle, greatly angering her parents, who nonetheless reluctantly agree. Ruggiero, meanwhile, sets off to kill Leo. On the way, he finds the Constantine’s forces battling the Bulgarians. Ruggiero immediately enters the battle to assist the Bulgarians, who had been losing, and manages to turn the tide of the battle. However, he is captured and imprisoned by the Greeks. Leo, impressed with Ruggiero’s valor, 4frees him. He then asks for a favor, and Ruggiero, grateful for his freedom, promises to grant whatever Leo asks. Leo, having learned of Bradamante’s challenge and knowing he isn’t strong enough to win against her, asks that Ruggiero fight Bradamante on his behalf. Ruggiero reluctantly keeps his promise and disguises himself as Leo to fight Bradamante. He wins the match and retreats to the woods, wishing to die. There, Leo finds him and asks what is wrong. After Ruggiero reveals his identity and that he is in love with Bradamante, Leo annuls the engagement to let Bradamante and Ruggiero wed. At the end, their marriage gives rise to the noble House of Este, who were patrons to both Boiardo and Ariosto.

The poems drew from legends of Charlemagne, chansons de geste, and blended recurring motifs found in the Matter of France and the Matter of Britain. Bradamante and Ruggiero's romance is most likely made to parallel the romance of Angelica and Orlando. Bradamante and Ruggiero's love is reciprocated and honorable, whereas Orlando is driven mad with love and Angelica despises him. Bradamante also spends much of Orlando Furioso chasing down her love to save him, contrasting with Angelica, who spends most of the story running from Orlando."

Key word here is tries. In contrast to the first legend where she tries to give up the call and find love, the second legend has her keeping the call and finding an equal. Coursr that also depends ln keeping her OG arc. Or shifting to give her a new role in the stories.

I don't think the first Persona game was as thematically tied to legends origins. Also there's Nanjo, who has his butler as his ultimate so yolo.

One of her other bests are fortune dependant of Nova from SMT If. 

-Chariot for strength

-Magician for speed

-Temperance for balanced

-Wheel of fortune for luck

The other is justice, as she can either uphold fair decisions and consequences, and save the people, or she can turn on that and make decisions that are unfair, and lack accountability, and dishonest, as per SMT If.

The ones she is at odds with are hanged man and devil.

Hanged man is a card of stasis. A lack of a decision. Which she is at odds with. After all, she's always making some kind of decision be it active or passive.

-Upright card (keywords): Breaking old patterns, Circumspection, Letting go, Metamorphosis,

-Reversed card (keywords): Egotism, Inability to change, Missing an opportunity

And devil, a decision card. 

-Upright card (keywords): Bondage, Enslavement, Fear, Feeling trapped, Materialism, Temptation, more

-Reversed card (keywords): Breaking from addictions, Divorce, Freedom from restraints

Tamaki is not a character to stay still, take stock. It does not vibe with her strength Tarot. But as the hanged man card reveals she is keeping still, and the devil indicates she is the one trapping herself in it.  To make the best choices for her heart, she needs to reflect on what she wants, and cast off the self restraints keeping her from it. 

---

Of course, I'm not a Tarot expert. This is mostly with what I look up online. Feel free to add more in the comments or reblogs if you like. 

What Arcana's do you think Tamaki would have affinities for if she could summon a persona? And what Personas would you give her? 

[theres-a-fine-line-fic]

Nutella

So, this is my first attempt at a standalone smut, so hopefully it’s okay! Let me know what you think! _______________________________________

You sighed as you left work, waving goodbye to your colleagues. Thank God it was the weekend and you wouldn’t be due back in again until Monday. You climbed into your car and sat with your head against the steering wheel. It had been a long week for you, with your boss being more of an asshole than usual and deadlines upon deadlines stacking up against you and any plans for a social life, or even just half an hour of peace without anything work related rudely entering your mind.

You were pulled out of your thought as your phone began to vibrate on the passenger seat next to you. It was your boyfriend of several years. Josh had finally gotten a break from touring, even if only for a couple of weeks, and for that, you were grateful.

“Hi Josh, is everything okay?”

“Hi baby, everything is great, I’ve just got back from hanging out with Jesse and Ashley. Just wondering if you’re hungry?”

You’d already eaten dinner, one of the admin guys had just turned 30 so they had ordered in pizza for the whole office. You’d maybe had a slice or two more than you intended, but fuck it! You had earned it from all the hard work you had been putting in!

“Hmm, I’m not hungry for dinner, but there should be stuff in the house for us to make sundaes if that’s okay?”

Josh quickly agreed, stating that everything would be ready for you coming home. Josh did sound pretty excited on the phone, although you weren’t sure if that was because you were coming home, or because Josh had an excuse to eat ice cream for dinner. Possibly the latter.

The message tone rang out whilst you were driving home, tempting you to check the screen, but you persevered until you had pulled up outside of the house you both shared.

~ The door is open baby, meet me in the kitchen

You grabbed your handbag, locking the Audi and making your way to the front door. Pushing open the front door, you were greeted by the sounds of soft romantic music coming from the kitchen. The kitchen door was closed, but you could see a dim glow coming from under the door. You quickly removed your coat, kicked off your high heeled pumps and dropped your bag in the living room.

When you opened the kitchen door, you were not greeted by the view you were expecting. Instead of Josh sitting by the kitchen table, with two bowls of ice cream, the view was something far different. Stood in front of you, Josh was wearing nothing but a pair of low slung boxers, a tiny apron and a chef’s hat. Displayed on the counter tops behind him were a variety of condiments and sprinkles, including your favourites: maraschino cherries and Nutella.

“Instead of making a sundae, I thought maybe you’d like something else for dessert?” Josh stepped towards you, pulling you in for a passionate kiss, which quickly turned to a full blown make out session.

Just as you began feeling dizzy from the lack of air, Josh moved away from your lips, trailing kisses and little nips down your neck and along your collarbone. You moaned a little at the sensation.

You felt something cold against your skin. Looking down, you watched Josh spray a small line of whipped cream from a can down the opening of your shirt, stopping just at the swell of your breasts, before licking it off of your body, watching you intently.

He slowly unbuttoned your work shirt, sliding it down your shoulders before removing your bra. Josh pinched your nipples just the way you liked it, you could feel him pressing against your hip. Clearly he was enjoying this as much as you were.

“Wait here, I want to try something.” Josh disappeared quickly into the living room while your eyes were trained on his ass. You’d spent many a hometown gig, hiding in the wings at the side of the stage watching that ass as he drummed on top of the crowds.

When Joshua entered the kitchen again, you noticed the black tie in his hands. Your stomach flipped a little. You and Josh had discussed (at length over text and skype) trying being blindfolded, and maybe even having your hands tied behind your back, but you hadn’t expected it to happen so soon.

“Trust me?” Josh asked, checking you were comfortable. You nodded quickly as you began to feel excited. He tied the tie around the back of your head, covering your eyes, before continuing to play with your breasts. At first, you could feel Josh’s skilled hands and fingers teasing, pinching and squeezing gently. Then you could only feel one hand on your left breast, still teasing.

“Do you want some ice cream?” You opened your mouth expecting to be spoon fed by Josh.

You were startled as a cold, wet mouth latched itself onto your breast, sucking gently, his tongue swirling around your nipple. You could feel the excitement pooling between your legs, squeezing your thighs together in the hopes of a little friction.

Josh took a large spoonful of ice cream, feeding it to you, before feeding himself another and working on your other breast, giving it just as much attention.

Just when you were excited enough by the attention Josh was lavishing on you, his mouth began to move down your body, trailing kisses down your stomach. He paused to unzip and remove your skirt.

“I’m so lucky you’re mine,” Josh sighed. He had always been a fan of your legs, whether it be in short skirts, a spare pair of his shorts or just when his face was pressed between them.

He slid his hands into the waistband of your tights. You expected him to peel them down slowly to tease you, just like he usually would. It was obvious Josh would be full of surprises tonight as he gave them a quick yank. You could feel ladders beginning to form in the tights. He pressed one hand against your stomach, holding you still as you began to squirm a little, the other hand bundled up in your tights as he tugged hard against them ripping them down the left side.

Josh’s teeth nipped at your right hip as he grabbed at the remaining tights with his teeth pulling them away and tearing them fully from your body.

You heard a little fumbling, causing you to lift the makeshift blindfold and peek a little. Josh was stood by the counter, can of whipped cream in one hand and a jar of Nutella in the other. He turned around, catching you red handed. He gave you a look which was intended to be firm, but you could tell by the smirk on his face that he was amused by your actions. He took a few steps forward, laying the sweet condiments he held on the countertop next to you.

“No peeking or you get punished. Turn around and move the tie back down.” You complied with Josh’s request, turning around to face the kitchen cupboards and pulling his tie down to once again cover your eyes. You could feel Josh step behind you, his breath on the back of your neck, slowly running his hands up and down your sides-

A sharp stinging sensation swept across your ass. He had just spanked you! His palm rubbed softly against the sore spot, before slapping down firmly once again.

You had to admit you were enjoying this more than you had expected. Josh turned you around again, so you would be facing him. You heard him chuckle a little as he hooked his fingers into the sides of your underwear, ripping them off of you as well. He began to kiss from your mid calf to the inside of your thighs, stopping just before you could get too excited.

You could feel a sticky substance (which you could only assume was the chocolate-hazelnut spread) being smeared up the inside of your thighs before Josh’s tongue slid up slowly. He teased you with his tongue, peppering little bites along the way. Once one thigh had been licked bare again, he moved to the other side, mirroring his movements. He moved away again shortly after, for just a few moments before you heard him again.

“This ice cream is delicious, do you want more?”

Before you could answer, you felt a cold wet kiss directly on your core. You gasped as Josh’s tongue darted out, flicking against your already swollen clit. The ice cold sensation on your heated core, along with Josh’s previous teasing had you almost tipped on the edge already.

You moved one hand to the back of Josh’s head, tangled in his hair holding him firmly against you as he licked and sucked. Your other hand pulled the makeshift blindfold off, you didn’t want to miss this view. You looked down, Josh was happily buried between your legs, pulling away to smile at you quickly, before re-attaching himself, and slipping a finger in between your folds to pump slowly.

You began to grind a little against Josh, only encouraging him as he slipped a second finger inside you and began to pump a little faster.

It didn’t take long before you were seeing stars. Josh pulled away, wiping his mouth and kissing his way back up your body, your legs shaking a little in the aftermath.

“You taste even better than ice cream baby.”

Josh spoon-fed you another mouthful of ice cream, which was now melting in the tub, before launching his lips back on your own. You still held the tie in your hand, and you were about to put it to good use.

“Now it’s your turn.” You pushed Josh away a small distance, maybe just a few inches, before wrapping his tie around his wrists, making sure it wouldn’t hurt him, but would hold tight. You pushed him back until he was sat on the island table in the centre of your cosy kitchen. Giving him one final push, Josh fell back until he was lying fully on the table, with his arms above his head, and his legs dangling off of the edge of the table.

You moved over to the side counters looking at the assortment of toppings before deciding on a few. You took a large spoonful of Nutella, dolloping it directly onto Josh’s smooth chest, spreading it out.

Next, you picked up a bottle of sprinkles, shaking them over the chocolate-hazelnut mess you had made. Finally, you finished off your masterpiece with a little of the whipped cream and a few cherries.

You could see that Josh was beginning to get impatient, straining a little against the tie restraint. You giggled a little, picking up Josh’s phone from the side and snapping the perfect picture. Just a little reminder for later.

You dipped your face down to meet Josh’s lips, kissing him hard before moving back over his chest. You licked wide strips down Josh’s chest, stopping just before the waistband of his boxers. This continued until all the Nutella had been removed. You wanted to tease him just as much as Josh had teased you.

“Baby please, enough teasing!” Josh had lifted his head just enough to see you, grinning at him, your face only inches away from where he wanted you to be.

“I don’t think so… if you keep moaning, maybe I’ll blindfold you as well! Or just tie you up and leave you here?” You smirked as you heard his slight whine in response to you.

You slipped your hands up his thighs, sliding just under his boxers and dragging your nails back down, scratching a little and never quite touching exactly where he wanted you to touch.

You took a mouthful of the peppermint chip ice cream, which had so far remained untouched, swirling it around your mouth until you were sure that your mouth would be chilled enough to give the desired effect.

You slowly pulled Josh’s boxers all the way down his legs, before dropping them to the floor. Pre-cum glazed the tip of his cock, as you leaned towards it and started to suck gently, approving moans slipping from Josh’s open mouth as you began swirling your tongue around gently.

Josh’s fingers ran through your hair, tugging a little harder as you began to take him deeper and deeper, inching your way to base of his cock.

You moved away for the briefest of moments to grab the small packet on the side counter and a clean tea towel, causing Josh to groan at the lack of contact.

“Hold on. It’s my turn to try something new now.” You demanded, you knew Josh liked it when you took charge. You rolled the towel until you would be able to use it to your advantage. Moving round to the top of the table where Josh’s head rested, you motioned for him to lift his head. As he complied, you laid the towel over his eyes, knotting it at the side of his head, allowing him to rest his head comfortably back on the kitchen table.

You moved back down until you were between Josh’s legs once more, trailing your fingertips slowly towards his enlarged cock. You lifted the small packet from earlier, emptying about half of the contents into your mouth before continuing to suck gently.

“Oh my God! Is that… pop rocks?” Josh moaned, recognising the slight popping sensation. “It’s different… not bad though!”

After a couple of minutes, you then shifted your focus a little bit more on your techniques rather than the theatrics, meaning it wasn’t long before Josh was like putty in your hands, moaning your name and bucking his hips.

“If you move your hips once more, I swear I’ll give you a reason to move them!” You tried to sound domineering, though the slight snicker from Josh proved otherwise.

“Yeah, like you would!” He scoffed back. You slapped your palm down hard against the side of his thigh, the stinging sensation moving across your hand as you made contact with his bare skin.

“Try me?” You smirked back, knowing you had the upper hand again. Josh tried to wiggle his hands out of the tie still wrapped around his wrists. You used the moment of distraction to your advantage and took Josh’s member fully into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat as you sheathed your teeth with your lips, and began sucking harder, moaning a little enjoying the effect you had on Josh.

You could feel his legs clench a little around your waist, still dangling off the end of the kitchen table, knowing Josh was edging closer to his climax, you upped your game a little.

You pulled away, grabbing Josh’s hands and pulling him towards you until he was stood upright again, removing his blindfold so he could see you sink down to your knees again and finish him off, maintaining eye contact the whole time.

His hands held you in place by the back of your head while you swallowed the salty liquid which came in thick spurts, making sure not to let a single drop fall from between your lips. Josh sat back upright on the table, stroking his fingers up the outside of your thighs and along your backside before resting at the curve of your spine.

“That was incredible baby. Have you been planning to do that all day?” You giggled, nodding your head in agreement.

“At least in the car on the way home. Once the idea popped into my head, it was hard to get rid of it.” Josh took a spoon of the, now fully melted, ice cream and dribbled it onto your chest. He dipped his head, kitten licking at your chest, swirling his tongue around each nipple in turn, until they were once again stiffened peaks. Josh’s hand trailed back down towards your core, once again, a familiar slickness spreading between your thighs. Josh soon found the source of the wetness, his fingers parting your folds and playing with your clit.

Josh licked his lips, grinning at you, showing the perfect pointed teeth that you loved so much. “Did I really make you this wet baby girl? Did I do this to you?”

Josh slipped a finger inside of you, adding another soon after stretching you a little.

“How do you think you’d like it if I tied you up and fucked you hard against this table? Make it so your legs tremble and you can’t even walk? Make you see stars when I pound into you and make you scream my name?” Josh removed his fingers from you, causing you to whimper at the loss of contact. He pushed you away a little, before walking past you, towards the front door.

Josh returned a few moments later, with your heels from earlier in his hand. “Can you put these on please? It’ll make the height difference a little easier.”

You followed Josh’s request, slipping on your heels on, allowing you to almost see eye to eye with Josh. He turned you around until you were facing away from him, feeling his member pressed hard against your backside.

Josh slipped the tie around your wrists, looping it around several times before tying it tight enough to make sure you can’t wriggle free. Josh pushed you forward gently until your chest was resting on the table, before surprising you with another firm smack to your backside.

Josh rubbed his erection against your core, teasing you, making sure you were even wetter than you had been all night. He rocked his hips back and forth, so, so achingly slow, pausing for just a second at your entrance, before continuing to tease you further.

“Josh… please just fuck me already-” You whined, the desperation in your voice catching you off guard and surprising even you. You noticed you were pushing back against Josh, even grinding a little, hoping he would give up the foreplay.

“Baby, the whole neighbourhood will know my full name by the time I’m finished with you.” Josh smirked, you could hear it in his husky voice. He didn’t wait for you to reply before he pushed into you, causing you moan loudly.

“That’s right baby, I want to hear your sweet moans fill this kitchen.” Josh again slapped his hand against your rear, before pushing into you up to the hilt, filling you completely. Josh began to build up a steady rhythm, working up to a fast pace.

You could feel the tops of your thighs hitting against the table every time Josh thrust into you. Josh’s hands were gripping your hips too, his fingertips squeezing tight against the mounds of skin. He was going to leave bruises on you by the morning for sure. Little reminders of the passion you had shared that night. It wasn’t long before you could feel your climax approaching for the second time tonight.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. You feel so good squeezing around me. I’m almost there baby, just hold on a little longer.” You barely held it together long enough for Josh to finish as you came undone around him, your legs trembling underneath you in the aftermath, just as Josh had promised. He pulled out of you, scooping you up in his arms and carried you to the bedroom you shared, before laying you on the bed.

“That was amazing, how long have you been planning that?” Josh shrugged in response to your question, climbing in besides you and wrapping his arms around you, before answering you.

“I get bored on tour and sometimes my mind wonders, y’know!”

“Well Joshua, can’t wait to see what else you’ve been thinking about on tour!” You smirked, cuddling closer to him as he ran his fingers through your hair.

“Just wait until tomorrow baby…”

[heavenlymorals]

Tafl

Summary: Ragnar returns to Kattegat and Ivar demands a game of tafl. His guilt made it impossible for him to refuse his youngest.

Another shortie. Can't believe it's been so long since I've written anything from Ragnar's POV (shout out to my first Vikings fic "An Unkindness of Ravens" on ao3).

--------------------------------------

“Play tafl with me.” 

It was more a demand than a request, which was more or less expected. Ivar was a prince. He was probably rather used to getting what he wanted from a few words and an unsettling stare. The right of royalty, after all. To get whatever they want because of their station, and the price that they would have to pay for that is their happiness and their genial way of living. Ragnar would know. He experienced both. He was a follower to a king, and then a king to followers. He was happier as a lackey and less content as a king. Strange how the world worked sometimes. 

Guilt refused Ragnar to shut his son down. He owed him this if anything. 

What type of father abandoned his sons? His children? His flesh and blood children that he was so sure was his right in this world where so many children are cast aside to die or already meet with Hela the second they enter the waking world. Sometimes taking the mother with them. The giver of their life, and they take it away. Ivar almost took away Aslaug’s. 

He shouldn’t have come back. He should’ve let Kattegat be content with the image that their King was dead. He didn’t deserve to talk to his son, any of them. Especially Ivar, who was, ironically, the most joyous of his prodigal father’s wayward return.

He deserved no forgiveness. He knew. 

However, If Ragnar was anything, he was a selfish man. Always has been, it seemed. 

In a pathetic attempt to give Ivar a memory with his father that did not center around abandonment, he nodded yes, and gave a small smile. Ivar returned his smile with one of his own. He was a beautiful boy, with his unblemished skin, dark hair,  pink lips, and owlish eyes, too blue than was normal. Another stab of guilt struck Ragnar at his side as he thought about the day he left Ivar to the wolves. 

“Alright then.” 

They played tafl, and Ivar’s chin rested on his palm as he studied the board. So far, they were evenly matched. It was as hard to get a good move on Ivar as it was hard for Ivar to get a good move on him. Silence shrouded both men as they thought about the best way to defeat the other. Ragnar thought about losing to Ivar on purpose, but that would be nugatory and perhaps even insulting to the boy. 

Small talk, then.

“Who taught you to play,” Ragnar asked quietly as he moved a pawn. Ivar bit his lip gently at that move as he noticed that one of his attackers was rather vulnerable. He moved that piece instead.

Ragnar taught Gydja how to play (sometimes, he still wept for her), Ragnar taught Bjorn how to play (not that well, it seemed), Ragnar taught Ubbe and Hvitserk how to play, and he even began teaching Sigurd how to play before he disappeared. 

“Ubbe did, actually. Mother taught me all the tricks, though.” 

Aslaug was a smart woman. What she did to Kattegat was not only impressive but everything that Ragnar wished he could do if he lived in a world without fortune and gold. It was a shame that her efforts went more to people praising Ragnar’s legacy than they did for her name. She deserved it, not him. She deserved so much more than Ragnar and his petty words and looks and actions.

He pitied the mother of his sons for being tied to him. Not by love either. 

“Did she now?” 

Ivar nodded. “Of course. Mother is smart. Too smart for you.”

Ragnar snorted softly. “Fair enough. Does she still play tafl with you?” 

At that Ivar frowned. “No, not really. She’s too busy with Kattegat. Honestly, we don’t even really see her all that much except during dinner. I’d play with Ubbe, but he’s either training to be king or out hunting. Hvitserk is a fool. Sigurd hates me. I try to play with Floki when he comes around. Usually, though, I just go to the meadhouse and play there.” 

“Well, it is good that you have a place to play. Tafl makes you think. It makes you better at understanding and reading other people. And that is a skill that is priceless when you become a leader.” 

Ivar smirked at that, probably imagining a scenario like that in his head. Of being a leader. He would be one day. Ragnar was sure. 

“You should play more, then. I expected better of my great, famous father, Ragnar Lothbrok.”

“What-”

For the dramatics, Ivar slammed his winning piece on a square and Ragnar’s king now had nowhere to go. 

“I win,” he grinned.

Ragnar gaped like a fish at the board.

“You just got lucky.”

Ivar hummed, satisfied. 

[theres-a-fine-line-fic]

Chapter Thirty Two- I Know The Sky Will Turn To Grey

Hey guys, it's another update! I know I normally have a photo at the start of each chapter, but for some reason my phone won't allow me. I'll fix this when I can use my laptop again. The story will still be a little sad for a little while longer, but it's not forever, I promise. Enjoy. ___________________________________________________________________________________ The days passed slowly after the incident. I was finding it harder and harder to be around Josh. He seemed to constantly want to talk about our son, and I just wasn't ready for that. For me, it was easier just to bury my head in the sand and to try to find a distraction, anything other than grieving or coming to terms with our loss. So I did the same thing I always did when I was trying to avoid thinking: I put on bright red lipstick, dyed my hair a different colour (this time, a dark auburn) and threw myself back into my work with my head held high. I had received a couple of emails from Dave Rose whilst I was on tour requesting my assistance in helping record a couple of albums and EPs if I was up for it on my break. Of course I couldn't say no, and I knew that Dave would have spoken to Nick who would tell him I would be looking for something to do. I couldn't help it, for me it was either work myself to the point of near exhaustion or sit at home and think about my problems, or God forbid, actually speak to someone about my feelings towards our recent situation. Understandably, this grated on Josh's nerves. It all came to a head over dinner one night. We had cooked dinner together, sharing a joke or two and listening to music, just trying to keep some sense of normality, all the while trying to be careful of Josh's arm and shoulder, which was in a pink sling matching his hair perfectly. It was a joke gift from Tyler, but Josh still wore it with pride- even if only around the house. It wasn't until after we had laid the table, and sat down to dinner that Josh had decided to bring up that topic. "Ava?" I looked up, a piece of spaghetti hanging out of my mouth as I tried to suck it into my mouth quickly. Elegant as always, Ava! "I really think we need to talk about it." I froze mid mouthful. "I really don't think we need to. Not yet anyway. Just give it a little more time. Please, Josh." Josh frowned as soon as the words had left my mouth. He calmly set his cutlery down on his plate, taking a small sip of the wine before continuing. "Ava. It's almost been a week. Haven't I indulged your denial for long enough? I don't think it's healthy to bottle up your emotions like that. Please, just talk to me about it. About how you feel. Please?" I could hear in his voice that he was near the point of pleading with me. I shook my head, I wasn't going to discuss this now, and I certainly wasn't going to let it ruin the evening. "Why don't we talk about it later and just enjoy the evening. We could watch the X-Files and cuddle after dinner?" I knew instantly that the words had annoyed Josh. He looked pissed, an expression that he hadn't directed towards me for quite some time. I'd almost forgotten how much that look scared me. "Alright Ava, you've had enough time with your head in the clouds. We need to talk about our son, this-this thing between us is festering and-" "We don't have a son Josh. We lost him. There's no point talking about it, it won't change anything." I could see the anger rise on Josh's face. "How the hell can you sit there and act so apathetic? How can you be so blunt? You must be in denial, Ava! Pull your head out of your ass and realise that you're being nothing but cold hearted! You've just lost your child and you think the world should just carry on as normal? Everything has changed Ava!" Josh almost roared at me, screaming at the top of his lungs, tears filling his eyes, as he stood up slamming his hand on the table. Something inside me finally snapped. I wasn't prepared for Josh to be so forward and blunt. "I'm not discussing this, it's hard enough for me-" "Oh really it's hard enough for you? How the fuck would I have known that Ava? You don't talk or open up to me! It's bad enough that I've lost my son, I don't need to lose my partner too just because she's too damn stubborn and pig headed to actually open up about how she feels and if she isn't coping! You'd rather come home every night having worked yourself to the bone, trying to ignore your problems! Well guess what lady, it's going to bite you in the ass because it doesn't work! You need to open up to me, otherwise things-this won't work!" I knew he had a point, but I wasn't about to back down. He couldn't force me to stop working or talk about things. Especially not if it meant having to finally admit to myself how I felt. "Look Josh, I don't need you right now. I have enough to think about! Just let me get on with work, I don't need to think about you or our son okay. In fact, I don't want things to work between us! Just pack your bags and leave me the hell alone." I could see the hurt in his face as the words registered in his mind. I knew I shouldn't have said it, but I was too late to stop myself before the hate filled words tumbled out. He looked down at the barely touched food again, before speaking lowly, almost whispering. "You want me to leave? That's okay Ava, I love you, so if you need space, I'll give you all the space you need." He pushed his chair back and calmly walked out of room, heading upstairs. I could feel the tears streaming down my face, it was too late to say anything. I knew I hadn't just crossed the line, I had taken a huge sprint up to the line before pole vaulting across it as hard as I could. And what did I do to try to rectify the situation? Nothing. I emptied the pot of spaghetti and sauce into a tupperware dish and sat it next to the front door with Josh's car keys on top of it. I didn't want him to go hungry. I turned off the music, and quickly emptied the table, suddenly a lot less hungry than I had been previously. Granted, I hadn't eaten much recently, I had mostly just been eating at home so that Josh had one less thing to worry about. At work, I had maybe grabbed a smoothie or a handful of M&Ms or something. I'd had a sour taste in my mouth since I had woke up in the hospital. I tried to assume that it was just a side effect from the pain meds that they had given me to help with my side. I was still sore and bandaged up. Really, I shouldn't have been working or doing any heavy lifting, but when had that ever stopped me before? Josh's light padding across the floor upstairs soon stopped as he moved across the landing, closer to the stairs. I sat back down at the now empty table, as Josh began to walk downstairs carrying his rucksack and two bags in his left hand. He set them down pausing by the front door. "Ava?" My eyes shot up from the table to look at him, as I began to rise out of my seat, moving towards him, trying to wipe the tears from my face without Josh seeing. Was Josh going to say something to make this okay? "I can't pack it all like this. I'll come back for it if that's okay?" "Oh... well yes, that's okay. Do you need a hand carrying that? Do you want to take my car?" Josh shook his head at me. So he wasn't going to change the situation by just staying here until I calmed down and apologised? He clearly didn't want to be anywhere near me after that outburst, and honestly, I didn't know if I wanted to be anywhere near me right now either. "It's okay, Jordan is coming to collect me. That should be him now." A loud car horn coming from outside indicated Jordan's arrival. Josh picked his bags back up, and stepped away, allowing me to open the front door for him. The door swung open in the light breeze of the night air. Up close, I could see how red and puffy Josh's face was. This wasn't the face that I was used to, there was no trace of a smile on his handsome face. "I'm so sorry Josh, I-" "It's okay, Ava. You need time, I understand that and I'm going to give you it. If you ever want me to come home, just tell me. Goodbye Ava, just remember that I love you." Josh pressed a single kiss to my forehead, before walking out the door and up the path. I stood in the doorway watching Jordan run out to grab the bags from Josh, throwing them in the back seat of the car before rushing to hug Josh tightly. It was clear, even from this distance, that Josh was devastated and Jordan was trying hard to comfort his older brother. As Josh got into the car, Jordan looked over at me and waved. He wasn't doing it to be rude, he genuinely looked concerned when he saw me. I waved a little hello back. I watched Jordan get into the car and they both drove off, my eyes following them down the street until they disappeared from sight, and then I caved. I shut the door, sliding down against it and sobbing. ----------------------------------------------------------- I didn't sleep well that night. In fact, I didn't sleep at all. Eventually, I had moved from the front door to lie on the couch in the living room. I couldn't bear the thought of sleeping in the bed that Josh and I had been sharing, I didn't want to stay in the spare room which had been Josh's room, as it would still smell like him and contain all his clothes. The other room was what should have been the nursery. As far as I was concerned, that room was dead and gone too. I laid on the couch, bleary eyed, watching the infomercials until it was time to begin getting ready for work. My eyes focused on flitting between the clock on the wall and the large TV. My phone was still upstairs in my room, untouched from last night's events. I didn't want to speak to anyone, so I didn't see the point in looking at the phone. I left for work an hour and a half before I was due to start. It was a thirty minute drive, but I just wanted out for a while. I stopped at Zest, thankfully early enough that there was no one else around. I placed my sunglasses and beanie on, wrapping my coat around myself as I exited the car. I was greeted upon arrival into the store. "Hey! You're here early, late night last night?" I wasn't really in a talkative mood, but the friendly smile and optimistic look of the employee stopped me saying anything sarcastic back. "Uhhh... Yeah, I was up all night actually. Do you have any recommendations?" The employee nodded and got to work whipping up a smoothie while I picked up a juice. I paid for the items, gathering them up, ready to return to the car. "Hey, here's a free shot as well! It's got ginger and turmeric in it so it should help with your hangover!" I smiled and thanked the employee, as they handed over a small bag, before leaving drinks in hand. They thought I was up all night drinking instead of crying. That's funny, maybe I could convince Dave that I was drinking all night too and use that as an explanation for my bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks. ----------------------------------------------------------- I drove around listening to the radio for a while, before refilling the petrol tank on the car and arriving at work. I had grabbed a couple of boxes of doughnuts at the gas station to bring into work. "Ava! You're early, I've only just arrived five minutes ago!" Dave Rose was setting up the paperwork and itinerary for the day as I arrived, beanie and sunglasses still in place. I was a little light headed after rushing from the car, causing me to grip on to the table hard enough for my knuckles to turn white, just to stop myself from falling over. "Yeah, I just really enjoy work!" Dave laughed at this response, but the look in his eyes were sobering. "I know, don't think for one second that Nick didn't warn me about this. Ava, I've spoken with Nick. He's worried about you and wants to come over to check on you. I've told him that I would talk to you and try to come to an arrangement with you first before we do anything drastic like hire a full time babysitter to stop you from going off the rails." Dave steered me over to the meeting room where we had first met Tyler and Josh, sitting me down in the same spot that we had sat in months ago. It felt empty without the boys here too, even if Josh had ignored us all and texted Jordan constantly the whole meeting. It was hard to believe that so much had happened in that miniscule period of time. "Ava, you're in denial. You're not fooling anyone. You can't keep turning up to work like this, hiding behind a mask and pretending everything's okay. I know it isn't and I think you need time to sort things out." "You know Dave, you're not the first person to say that to me." I chuckled darkly as Dave handed me a to-go cup of coffee from the machine that sat behind us. "Ava, come on. You look about ready to pass out! When was the last time you ate something proper?" I shrugged a little before mumbling something like "yesterday?" This seemed to worry Dave. "Josh is at home, right? So he can look after you, I want you to take the rest of the week off, go home and really consider what has happened. Talk to him and eat a real meal please. If you need any help, tell me straight away." I stood up, ready to leave, cup in hand. "I'm sorry for the tough love approach here, but it has to be done. Otherwise Nick will be on both of our asses. Oh and Ava? You step one foot inside this building before next Monday, and I will fire your ass!" We both looked at each other and smiled. He wouldn't fire me, but he would be pissed, just as Nick would be too. Just this once maybe I'd honor his wishes.