#taejun tarot

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Yeonjun and Taehyun's Dynamic Reading

So, last week's reading made me interested in doing this duo to see what I can get for them energetically. I say they have a pretty quiet bond. I was interested in watching some videos of these two but decided to wait after this reading, so I don't have a bias. Although, one of my faves. I don't always pay attention to their dynamics. I focus more on their performances and music, than anything else, so interested to see what I get here.

Overall energy: Looks this is going how I was expecting it to go. So, they start with the House 2, both seem to be about money, materialism and physical security. I get this energy from these two, so they relate in that sense. Money, success and accolades is what these two want and probably how they connect their self-worth to.

We also got Air energy here, so both are pretty matter of fact and intellectual with one another. They like to share ideas with one another. They are both very social creatures, and have an extroverted mindset, so I say they connect, due to relatability, but I don't really see a close bond here. It seems pretty cordial. I mean one of the keywords on the card is detached, so their energy does give me that vibe. They are cool. I don't see anything messy here. It is just they are in the same group, so they get along due to that. But I see these two respecting each other a lot and their ideas.

Yeonjun's energy: He starts with the God card and the Poet, dude be feeling himself, good for him lol No but, it seems he knows his strength and power, with the god card coming up, there is a sense of feeling superior to Taehyun or having more authority, now yes, they do have a hierarchy system, but this is the first time, since these reading I got this, so it plays a big role in this bond. But I can also see him trying to appear powerful to him. I don't see him wanting to show any weakness or flaws around him. So, he might put pressure on himself to appear flawless in front of him.

Now, with the Poet, Yeonjun seems to be very good with words and a very inspiring person, so he may share these insights with Tae and give him a lot of loving words of advice. It is like he wants to be a moral authority for him. I don't see this as anything negative. I just think he may want to be a god model figure for him. Hmm, wonder if I get this same energy with the other younger members.

Now, with this Hermit card, he stands on his own and does his own things. He seems to like to figure things out on his own and be in his own world. But I do feel he does know himself very well and Tae may see that as well. Now, with the Chariot he is bold and courageous and willing to take chances and face challenges, not sure how this connects to the bond, but it does show Yeonjun kind of does his own thing. Maybe Tae respects all these qualities in him.

But I do see something about loss and disappointment, so he may show signs of sadness around Tae or he senses it. Or I feel like when he is feeling down, he needs his alone time and maybe that is what this is showing, maybe Tae is aware of that, like he may not like to show when he is down but doesn't really have a good way to hide it.

I see Yeonjun as someone goal oriented, a grinder, someone who is consistently moving towards his goals and pushing to reach new heights in his career. I feel Tae respects that and applauds his persistence and may want to emulate that. I also see him being pretty loyal and supportive as a friend when need be. He doesn't seem like a flakey friend.

Taehyun's energy: We start with the storyteller and the fool card, so he probably enjoys telling him stories that make him laugh or just sharing of the wall stories. I feel Tae can get pretty vulnerable around him. I don't think he can hide himself around him. I do see him trying his best to make Yeonjun laugh, not sure why I am getting that.

I see him having good energy around him. I think Tae just wants to lift his spirits and give him good energy. I feel he feels comfortable and at home around Yeonjun. I just see them having a lot of fun together, maybe having drinks every so often. It just seems like a fun time when they are together, so although they don't know each other on a deep level, that is okay, they seem to enjoy each other's company, so their bond seems pretty calm, fun and cool.

He does seem to feel conflicted when it comes to Yeonjun. He seems unsure of himself and not really able to make a decision. I had to clarify that and got the 3 of Cups, so he may be caught in between him and someone else. I still don't get that but moving on. I think from Tae's perspective they have a nice give and take balance. He helps him out and Yeonjun helps him out. I say their love language would be acts of service. They support one another in their own way. They are there to offer each other support in tangible ways and can count on each other as well.

Once again, a nice calm bond. I liked this energy too. I am kind of happy I went with these bonds this weekend. All were pretty clear cut, not as draining and fun to look into. Also, pretty quick as well.

[blossomgrovehqs]

⠀˳ 𓏲 ` ִ ︎︎ 💐 DADOS BÁSICOS︎︎ ⋆ ࣪. ࿔

NOME COMPLETO: Kang Wonbin.

PRONOMES: Ele/dele.

DATA DE NASCIMENTO: 27/02/1997.

NACIONALIDADE E ETNIA: Sul coreano, asiática.

OCUPAÇÃO: Ghost writer e vendedor na Witchery.

MORADIA: Maehwa, quarto 215.

SUBGÊNERO: Beta.

AROMA: Amêndoa e pimenta rosa.

FACECLAIM: Hong Taejun (modelo).

CONTA: bsgwonbin

⠀˳ 𓏲 ` ִ ︎︎ 💐 BIOGRAFIA︎︎ ⋆ ࣪. ࿔

GATILHO(S): Nenhum.

Wonbin é o filho mais novo dos Kang, sendo a segunda gravidez de sua mãe, e a única bem sucedida. Sua irmã mais velha, Wonyoung, foi adotada quando bebê, após um período muito difícil para a Sra Kang. Sendo filho de um beta e uma alfa, sua mãe teve uma gestação difícil, mas como ela sempre gosta de dizer: Wonbin sempre foi muito forte e quis muito nascer nessa geração.

Desde sempre, os Kang têm uma vida ordinária, mas não menos confortável. Diferente de Wonyoung, sempre gostou de atividades que pudesse fazer sozinho, como leitura e escrita, de escultura ou de fotografia, possui uma alma artística e sempre foi muito incentivado dentro de casa a seguir os próprios sonhos. Acabou postergando a faculdade por alguns anos após a escola, iniciando o curso um pouco “tarde”, em relação aos colegas de sua idade. Formou-se em Literatura Coreana, mas conseguir um emprego na própria área nunca foi tarefa fácil. Ser professor não estava em seus planos, pelo menos não inicialmente.

Acabou tornando-se ghost writer, escrevendo para diversas revistas e colunas de jornais anonimamente, produzindo diversos tipos de texto. Seus serviços sempre são bem requisitados, mas nunca pensou em escrever romances ou até mesmo publicar sua poesia – algo em que é realmente bom, mas não se sente seguro o suficiente, ainda que seu pai sempre diga que deveria correr atrás do reconhecimento e dos direitos autorais de todo o conteúdo por escrito que produz. Sempre pensa que precisa de mais “maturidade artística”.

Em relação ao meio tempo, trabalha como vendedor na Witchery. Começou como um emprego para mantê-lo mais estável em relação às finanças, mas acabou gostando e aprendendo algumas coisas sobre o esoterismo. Tudo o que sabe sobre astrologia e tarot é fruto do contato diário que possui, pelo emprego. Poderia ser cansativo trabalhar de segunda à sábado toda semana, mas tudo fica mais leve e divertido pelo incenso de canela, ou pelos flertes em troca de informações sobre o mapa astral de alguém.

A oportunidade de residir em Blossom Grove surgiu em um momento oportuno, pois o aluguel do antigo apartamento estava saindo caro demais, e eventualmente se mudaria. O custo benefício foi o maior atrativo, contudo, a localização também era ótima, e poderia visitar a família com mais frequência. Não hesitou em seguir com os planos, afinal, o ano seguinte estava prometido para algumas mudanças em sua vida.

⠀˳ 𓏲 ` ִ ︎︎ 💐 HEADCANONS︎︎ ⋆ ࣪. ࿔

Wonbin é mais novo que Wonyoung por 2 anos apenas. Após a adoção de sua irmã, sua mãe acabou engravidando, e apesar da gravidez de risco, ela conseguiu dar à luz a um bebê saudável.

Assim como o pai, é beta, mas em sua família a questão de subgêneros não é nem um pouco importante – a não ser pelo fato da sua mãe ser completamente territorial e dominadora. Mas não é algo que o Sr Kang acha ruim, no fim das contas (ele gosta).

Possui o aroma de amêndoa e pimenta rosa, que teoricamente são suaves, porém, um pouco mais fortes do que deveriam ser para alguém do subgênero dele. Sempre brinca dizendo que são os genes alfa da mãe, o que deixa o pai um pouco irritado.

Gosta de escrever poesia e tem alguns montes espalhados em diversos blocos de notas, cadernos e arquivos no notebook. Até mesmo tem alguma coisa nas notas do seu celular, mas só mostra às pessoas mais próximas.

Não é a pessoa mais organizada do mundo, mas por vezes tenta tirar um dia da semana para organizar seu espaço.

Vive comendo fora por nunca ter tempo para cozinhar, mas gosta bastante desse afazer doméstico em especial, algo que passou a gostar por conta do pai, que ama cozinhar.

Tudo o que sabe de atividades esotéricas é por conta do trabalho, e apesar de cogitar algumas vezes sair do emprego e dedicar-se 100% à escrita, ainda permanece no emprego por gostar bastante do clima agradável do local e das atividades que realiza.

[sourkive]

011 : WRONG BLOCK.

Starring: Zhang Junjie.

Featuring: Song Taejun, Yoo Seobin.

Summary: The tower's foundation is crumbling.

Word Count: 2k.

CW: Sexual harrassment, attempted SA, injury.

Between he and Ahin, Tarot’s production and songwriting was near unrivalled. That had always been their biggest strength; and Junjie’s favourite thing about being a part of the group was the amount of creative control he had been granted as a result of that. They didn’t need any help; but he wasn’t quite so arrogant as to pretend that collaboration couldn’t be an artistically fulfilling thing. He liked it. He liked working with his other members; or with Hayana. Working with Luke had taught him some valuable lessons; and that session had resulted in the bones of Potential Breakup Song, which was still considered Junjie’s magnum opus. 

He was fine with collaborating. Just not with Taejun. 

Taejun is a loser. Junjie had obviously never been one to gossip; but he’s observant above anything else. He knew that something had happened between Tetsuo and Taejun last year. The way Tetsuo had discussed their studio sessions was just off; there was a giddiness in his voice that didn’t match his usual cool attitude. Tetsuo had been rushing to the studio, limping home, and then all of a sudden his relationship with Taejun frosted right over. After months of making Tetsuo’s solo record together, they treated each other as if they were perfect strangers. 

It doesn't take a genius. 

And sure, Tetsuo is a grown man who can have sex with whomever he wants; but he’s also Junjie’s best friend. Junjie knows Tetsuo. Tetsuo pretends to be cool about it; to be some free spirit who’ll bend over for any man with a pulse, who’ll give out blowjobs as if they’re handshakes. But he’s a delicate soul with an easily-bruised heart. Men like Taejun run right through men like Tetsuo with no regard for the damage they leave behind. 

Junjie may not have much in the way of dating experience, but he’s dealt with plenty of men like Taejun. He’s not like Tetsuo. He’s equipped. He shouldn’t have to be, but he is. Even when Taejun is sitting next to him in the flesh, only the two of them. Because Valentine had gotten it into their head that Taejun, for some reason, had to have a stamp on Tarot’s upcoming full length album. 

‘That’s not really my vision,’ Junjie had tried to argue, but Seobin himself insisted that it would be a revolutionary musical pair up. Junjie doesn’t like it one bit. He’d never really considered himself to be much to look at, but he had suspected from the start that it wouldn’t matter. Junjie didn’t talk to Sour Candy much, but he’d heard that Minwoo felt like Taejun was leery towards him, too. A lot of people want to have sex with Minwoo; a far lot more than those who wanted Junjie, but it was enough to make Junjie even more cautious of him. 

He’d entered the studio with an anticipation to be hit on. Taejun takes an hour. 

“You know something?” He says, as Junjie replays the same sample for the fortieth time, more focused on why it doesn’t sound right than what Taejun’s saying. He grunts in response, and Taejun continues. “I never noticed how cute you are.”

“Alright.” Junjie mutters, dismissively, not looking away from the computer screen. If there was one thing Junjie was near excellent at, it was shooting people down. He'd whittled it down to an art form, he knew when to be gentle, knew when to be flippant and when to be cruel. Taejun wasn’t getting the first one. By all intents and purposes, he was staff and not an artist. Staff were forbidden from doing this; and so it wasn’t Junjie’s responsibility to let him down easily. He should know better. 

“Aren’t you going to say thank you?” Taejun asks. Junjie scoffs. Okay. Flippant doesn’t work.

“For what?” Junjie asks. 

“I complimented you.”

“Because you’re trying to get into my pants.”

“And what if I am?”

“I mean,” Junjie tugs his headphones fully off, dropping them around his neck. He turns to look at Taejun, so he can see the look in his eye and know that he’s being deadly serious as he says; “Frankly, i’d sooner hang myself.”

There’s a pause. Taejun doesn’t say anything at first, just stares Junjie down. Something flickers in the back of his eyes, and so Junjie narrows his as if to challenge him. That's when Taejun breaks into a smirk. He lets out a couple of little chuckles; but Junjie keeps his face blank. 

“I think you’re playing hard to get.” Taejun says. Junjie feels a frustration build inside of him, and he barks out a mean laugh. He sees Taejun’s face drop and he knows he’s hurt his pride.

“You’re a washed up old creep. Why would I take any interest in you?”

For a second, Taejun does look hurt. But then another gross smirk paints itself on his face.

“Okay. You know, kid, I've seen this before.” He says. There’s a smug intonation to his voice that Junjie recognises instantly. A judgemental little voice that sounds a lot like his dad rings in his head, about the nouveau riche and how impressed with themselves they always are and how much they think everyone is going to obsess over them. Junjie fixes him with the type of look that quells arguments in Tarot every time without fail.

“What have you seen before, Taejun?” Junjie asks, in a way that makes him sound like a busy mother half-listening to an excitable toddler. He focuses his attention on the soundboard, though he mostly just performs work. There’s a creeping feeling in the bottom of his spine- maybe this is how it feels to truly cringe at someone. ‘Just take the rejection, dude,’ Junjie thinks. 

“Hyung.” Taejun corrects. Junjie just looks at him. 

“What have you seen before, hyung?” He asks. The word drips with spite, and Taejun gives a scoff in return.

“I've seen boys like you.” He says, rising from his spot on the studio couch. His hands rest on the back of Junjie’s chair, leaning in. He stops way too close to Junjie, his mouth right at his ear. So close Junjie can smell the lunch on his breath. “Stuck up little twinks with expensive educations who think they’re worth the chase. I bet you’re the same as them all. Underneath all that posturing, you’re fucking hungry for it. I bet you beg for fucking cock.”

Ice water runs through his veins, and Junjie feels his heartbeat in his ears. He reaches out, as innocuous as he can manage, to wrap his fingers around the neck of the steel flask keeping his water cool. He gathers his nerve, preparing to swing up at him if necessary. “Okay,” he says, speaking slowly and carefully. “If you don’t get away from me in the next three seconds, I’ll smash your fucking face in.” 

Taejun doesn’t back up. Instead, one of his big hands lands on Junjie’s little shoulder, and he leans in further. “You won’t.” he says. His voice is low and gravelly, and Junjie barely has time to react to what’s happening before Taejun is spinning the chair around, leaning in. His lips are but centimeters away from Junjie’s by the time Junjie’s brain starts responding, and for some reason he drops his flask, instead his hands spread wide across Taejun’s face, pushing at him with all of his might. 

it’s a pathetic display of strength; Taejun stumbles back but barely moves, however the office chair does push back on its hind wheels. the wire of the thick headphones around Junjie’s neck pulls taught, and as the jack is pulled from the computer, Junjie tries to save himself way too late. The chair tips to one side and topples over, Junjie falling with it. His right arm extends in a futile attempt to break his fall and finds itself landing painfully underneath an armrest. Junjie lets out a yelp of pain, but his brain is still in flight mode. His head snaps up to the tall man in front of him, and he scrambles to his feet, pushing himself into the corner of the desks, as far away as he can manage to get in the cramped little studio. 

Taejun just stares at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. Junjie’s heart is beating so fast in his chest that it hurts, and he feels like a knife has been driven down his throat. His arm is pulsing and warm, and it hurts, and everything falls away; every scrap of power he’s ever thought himself to have, both in earnest and bravado. In moments like this, he’d always like to think he’d tell Taejun about himself, tear him down to his bare essentials and then dismantle them with scrutiny, a scathing speech worthy of admiration. 

He manages four words.

“Please don’t hurt me.” 

Taejun’s mouth flaps aimlessly for a few seconds. Junjie’s shoulders are hunched, drawing in on himself. He can feel his entire body begin to tremble. 

“I-” Taejun’s demeanor breaks, and he moves forward to place a hand on Junjie’s shoulder, giving him a wounded look when Junjie screws his eyes shut and flinches. “That’s such an over- I would never…”

Junjie keeps his eyes closed, taking a deep breath through his nose. Taejun lets out a noise of disbelief, and after what feels like minutes, Junjie hears his heavy footsteps pounding into the studio floor, and then a sharp slam of the door that causes him to start in fright. 

When the footsteps have disappeared down the hallway, Junjie lets out a noise somewhere between a sob and a dry-heave. His face falls into his hands, and he forces the lump in his throat down, breathing slowly through the gaps in his fingers and doing everything he can to try and slow the jackhammer rate of his heart. 

What the fuck was that? With his uninjured arm, he reaches up to pull his bangs from his face, puffing out a sigh. He'd never had a reaction like that to anything before.

But somewhere along the line of his twenty-one years, after a lifetime of his father’s absence and his classmates’ bigotry, Junjie had promised himself to never shed another tear over antagonistic men and their egos. So he swipes away the tears in his eyes and clears his throat roughly. He reaches out, as if to stretch his arms, but winces suddenly at the shooting pain in his arm. it’s not sore enough to be broken, he doesn’t think, but he’ll have his manager take him to the emergency room later, just in case.

He's halfway through thinking of a lie to explain how he’d hurt himself when the realization of what he’s doing tears through his nerves like a lightning bolt. “Fuck that,” he mutters to himself. 

Taejun did not deserve his protection. 

Junjie straightens out his clothes, picks the office chair up off of the floor, and carries himself out of the recording studio. Down the hallway, into the elevator, to the highest floor of Valentine Records’ excessively tall HQ. 

“Is Sajangnim here?” Junjie asks the pretty secretary outside the CEO's office. She gives him a look that he knows to mean she’s about to politely lie to his face and pretend that there’s some kind of important meeting currently going on, but before she can, the door opens.

Seobin steps out of his office, ‘oh’-ing in surprise at the sight of Junjie. Junjie folds himself into a stiff, polite bow, and as he rises, Seobin offers him his most professional smile. “Junjie. What a surprise. How can I help you?” 

Junjie steals his nerve. 

“I need to report something.”

[sourkive]

009 : HUNDREDS OF LITTLE PRAYERS.

Starring: Tachikawa Tetsuo.

Featuring: Song Taejun, Jade Lim.

Summary: Tetsuo makes a mistake.

Word Count: 3k.

CW: Sexual reference, light dom/sub dynamic, choking, not full-out smut but still very NSFW.

Tetsuo listens to the click of Taejun’s indicator light and tries to pretend what he’s doing is normal. It wouldn’t be out of character, really, if only it were anybody else in the driver’s seat. 

“I was surprised to get your call.” Taejun says. Tetsuo just hums. He's not surprised that he called Taejun, but he’s disappointed in himself. Long gone were the days where Tetsuo would kneel under Taejun’s studio desk while he worked. It’s not that Tetsuo suddenly found himself thinking he was above things like that, or anything. It's just that Taejun was kind of an odd case.

It had all started out so suddenly. Summer of 2020, after a couple of intense years of promoting in Tarot which felt more like a couple of months, Yoo Seobin formally introduced Tetsuo to song Taejun, and told them they’d be working together on Tetsuo’s solo record. Somewhere around the fourth recording session, Tetsuo found himself with his chest pressed tight against the recording booth window, Taejun crouched behind him with his big hands spreading Tetsuo’s ass cheeks apart and his tongue deep between them. 

It’s all a blur. Tetsuo knows he didn’t start it, but when he realized where it was going, he was all too eager to keep it on that track. Eventually they spent almost as much time debasing the studio as they did recording in it. It was just for fun; and Tetsuo hadn’t ever really attached much value to sex beyond fun. For as long as he’d been sexually active, he’d always gotten around. He was well aware that he’d already built himself a bit of a reputation in the industry, and he was fine with that. Thanks to that reputation, he could have easily been in any man’s car, right now. But he’s in Taejun’s. 

Tetsuo last heard from Taejun a month after his album dropped, when he and Minwoo agreed to be boyfriends and, though they’d decided that they could sleep with other people as long as they were safe and honest about it, Tetsuo didn’t really think a long-running friends with benefits situation was really appropriate anymore. As far as he knew, Taejun didn’t want anything more than sex from their arrangement, so he’d imagined the discussion would be pretty easy. Yet when Tetsuo paid a visit to Taejun, feeling he at least owed him a face-to-face conversation, Taejun had just gone quiet and nodded. And when Tetsuo started to ask if he was okay, he’d interrupted and said ‘if we’re not gonna fuck then there’s no need for you to still be here, is there?’ 

That was the last time Taejun had spoken to Tetsuo. 

Later, Minwoo would confide that Taejun had always given him horrendous vibes and call him a creep. ‘He's always eyeing me. it’s like he’s undressing me in his imagination. and he’s never, like, put a hand on me, but he always gets way too close. I refuse to be alone with that guy.’

And Tetsuo had kept secret from Minwoo that he had so earnestly returned Taejun’s same advances. That he had let Taejun undress him and put his hands on him and wanted it. He didn’t want Minwoo to judge him or think him desperate.

Minwoo left, though. He’d ignored him for a month and Tetsuo wants to be fucked. He wants to be fucked by someone who, at the very least, knows what his last name is. And it couldn’t really be anybody Minwoo would approve of. None of Minwoo’s friends would touch him, and Tetsuo didn’t actually have any friends outside of Valentine; it had purposefully been manipulated to be an insular community. Open as their relationship may have been, there was a matter of respect now that it was over. Weighing up who was considered his friend and who was considered Minwoo’s only left Tetsuo with his groupmates, and that wasn’t going to happen.

He wouldn’t even know where to start seducing one of the Histeria members. Taejun, for better or worse, was the only option left.

“So,” Taejun says. Tetsuo just wants the car ride to be over so they don’t have to speak anymore. He knows that he’s well within his right to sleep with whoever he wants, but something about the whole thing just makes him feel cheap. He's never felt that way before - or, maybe he has, but he’d liked it. This was a different type of feeling altogether. Maybe it’s shame. That's a new one. “What happened to your boyfriend?” 

“Dumped me,” Tetsuo says shortly, looking out of the window.

“Why?”

“Didn’t say.”

“So I’m a rebound fuck?”

“Yes.”

Taejun snorts out a laugh, shaking his head. “I'm not complaining. I've missed you.” 

“You haven’t once tried to speak to me.” Tetsuo says, scratching his eyebrow with his pinkie.

“Well, yeah,” Taejun scoffs. He keeps his eyes on the road, but Tetsuo can see his smirk in the reflection of the window against the pitch black night. “I didn't miss speaking to you.”

Tetsuo folds his arms. “Nice,” he says. 

“C’mon.” Taejun says. “I'm kidding. And it’s not like we ever did much talking in the first place. We worked and fucked and that’s how we both liked it.”

“I guess,” Tetsuo says, looking down at his lap. 

“Hey,” Taejun’s voice drops an octave, in its best effort at comforting. “I was trying to be funny. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”

“It's fine, you didn’t.” Tetsuo says. Taejun may have been speaking in the cadence of a joke, but Tetsuo knew there was a truth behind it. He hadn’t expected Taejun to have missed him. If he missed him, he wouldn’t have spent the past year barely acknowledging that he existed, awkwardly treating Tetsuo like a distant acquaintance in front of others as if he hadn’t once made a habit out of being down his throat. He didn’t expect any different from this, but he had imagined Taejun might do a better job at pretending. 

By the time they pull up at Taejun’s house, Tetsuo is half considering just asking him to drive him home. But he knows he’ll regret it if he doesn’t do it. And he doesn’t doubt that Minwoo is fucking other people, too. So he gets out of the car, and lets Taejun spread his hand across his lower back as he ushers him into the house. As soon as the door closes behind them, Taejun’s big hands wrap around Tetsuo’s waist and push him hard against the wood. 

Taejun looms over him, and presses their bodies together. with such little space in between them, Tetsuo has to crane his neck up to look at him. There’s just under twenty centimetres’ difference in height between them, and Tetsuo had forgotten that part of it. The weird thrill of how much bigger and stronger Taejun is. Minwoo was stronger than he looked, being a dancer, but he was short and lithe like Tetsuo. It didn't make the sex any worse, but there’s something about Taejun towering over him, one hand slowly travelling up his side, parting from his body as it reaches his chest, only to cup the bottom of his chin and tilt his head up. Taejun holds Tetsuo as if he’s a delicate ornament, too easy to break, and under the large span of his palms, that’s exactly what Tetsuo feels like.

“You look good,” Taejun says. “With your hair buzzed like that. It suits you.” 

Tetsuo gives a soft smile; though the words really only serve to drive home just how long Taejun had been pretending he didn’t exist. Tetsuo had first started shaving his head in August last year. “Thanks,” He says, simply. 

“It's a shame that I can't pull it anymore though.” 

Tetsuo does snort out a laugh at that, though perhaps only because Minwoo had expressed the exact same sentiment. 

“You’ll just have to be creative.” He smiles up at him, pushing himself up onto his tiptoes to press their lips together. Taejun’s hand wraps around the back of Tetsuo’s head, his other hand spreading across the small of his back and pulling his body closer.

As they kiss, and Tetsuo’s eyes flutter closed, his hands running up the muscled planes of Taejun’s abdomen and resting on his chest, Tetsuo thinks that maybe he made the right choice. Minwoo was made of angles and sharp edges. Taejun is all hard rounded muscle and rough touches, his fingertips dig into Tetsuo’s scalp just a little too hard and it spins his brain around. The kiss breaks and Tetsuo looks up into Taejun’s eyes, round and expressive and he’s relieved not to see the glass baby doll eyes of Minwoo, who can see so far into Tetsuo but Tetsuo can’t see anything back. Minwoo’s eyes are so good at hiding everything, sparkling yet easy to sharpen to a point. Taejun looks at Tetsuo with a palpable lust, so easy to read, as if Tetsuo is food and Taejun is a starved man. Perhaps this was always the only option; the only true avenue for distraction. 

“How do you want it?” Taejun asks. 

“Hard,” Tetsuo says. “Make it so I can’t think anymore.” 

Taejun grins, hand sliding down to the back of Tetsuo’s neck before dropping, only to cup the underneath of his jaw, fingers tightening just slightly around the top of Tetsuo’s throat. He pushes back, Tetsuo’s head knocking against the door with a soft thud. His heart begins to race, a hand curling around Taejun’s wrist, though it’s mostly performative, making no effort to pull it away. He can already feel himself growing hard, thighs shuffling slightly as he looks up at Taejun, refusing to be the one to break eye contact. 

“Are you gonna be a good boy for me?” Taejun asks.

“Yes, sir.” Tetsuo breathes. It almost feels like no time has passed since the last time they did this, easily falling back into their old dynamic. Tetsuo is glad. He needs this, needs to turn his brain off and blindly follow Taejun’s orders again.

“Get down, then.” Taejun says, pulling his hands from him. 

Tetsuo rests his back against the door and lets his body slide down it, tucking his hands under his ass as he falls to his knees, opening his mouth wide, obedient, eyes locking with Taejun’s. he looks down at him darkly, undoing his belt and dropping it down beside Tetsuo. Tetsuo flinches a little as the metal buckle clatters against the hard wooden floor, and just for a second, he sees something dark flash in Taejun’s eyes. 

He will be nothing, for a while. nothing but food to be eaten. And that’s better than being sad.

Taejun finishes with a deep groan in Tetsuo’s ear. 

His hips quake against the curve of Tetsuo’s ass, stomach twitching against his back. Tetsuo winces as he feels him pull out, and he raises his head from the pillow it had been pushed into, folding his arms underneath it and letting out a groan.

“Fuck.” Taejun says as he rolls onto his back, flopping beside Tetsuo. His muscular chest is red and heaving, a hand pushing his bangs from his face as he turns to regard Tetsuo. “I forgot how good you can take it.” 

Tetsuo feels his face heat up at the words, burying his face back in the pillow as he lets out a bashful laugh. His heart still hammers in his chest, his lower back is already starting to ache, and his feet are cramped from curling his toes. And if he had wondered why he’d ever bothered to entertain Taejun’s advances in the first place, he supposes that the way his legs tremble is his answer. He’d had three orgasms. He'd wanted to turn his brain off, and Taejun had definitely gotten him to do that. 

“You should shower,” Taejun says. “Then I'll drive you home.”

And it’s really not like Tetsuo had expected to stay the night. Maybe he thought they might cuddle a little, though. And he feels stupid to be disappointed when he’d known exactly what he came here for and had gotten it. 

“You go first,” he says, voice muffled, not lifting his head from the pillow. Laying in his mess on the sheets is becoming more and more unpleasant as it cools, but he still can’t exactly feel his legs. “I don't think I'm ready to stand up.”

Taejun laughs at that, reaching out to give Tetsuo’s bare ass a little smack as he pushes himself up. he settles beside him, hands landing once more on Tetsuo’s ass cheeks. He pulls them apart, and Tetsuo can feel Taejun’s cum leak out of him. For some reason, it’s repulsive to him to have Taejun look at that. He wants to pull his hands away, but he really has no reason to, so he just screws his eyes shut and pretends it’s Minwoo. Which is antithetical to the purpose of being here, but it makes him feel a little less disgusting. 

“Can I take a picture?” Taejun asks. The thought of it actually makes Tetsuo’s skin crawl.

“I'd rather you didn’t.” He says.

“I won't get your face in it, or anything.” 

“I'm just, like, really not comfortable with that,” He says. Taejun lets go of him, humming briskly under his breath and getting off the bed to make his way to the en suite bathroom. Tetsuo guesses that that means any conversation they might have had is over.

In a way that should have been obvious the very first time they met, Tetsuo realizes that Taejun is kind of a manchild. Even his big fancy house was decorated the way a 12 year old boy would dream of decorating the mansion they’d fantasize about buying one day. It was full of baseball memorabilia; from framed posters of players on the walls, to signed bats and balls in display cases. Tetsuo guesses that that’s fine - he has a collection of signed albums from his seniors that he holds with utmost reverence, and a photocard of his favorite male idol in the back of his phone case. 

But even he’d recently taken his posters down, kind of feeling like at twenty-two years of age, he’d perhaps outgrown the need to scrapbook his interests across his bedroom walls. Taejun was twenty-nine and he’d used his fame and fortune to buy a mansion only to turn it into a shrine to baseball. It was a little odd. 

Tetsuo rolls onto his stomach, grimacing as his skin peels away from the damp sheets. His abdomen is slick and cold and sticky, and the feeling from earlier is very much back - he feels cheap. His fingers curl around the little golden cross that never leaves his neck, and he looks to the ceiling and glares past it. 

“Shut up.” He mutters. 

Taejun drops Tetsuo off around the corner. “It’s easier for both of us if nobody sees.” He says. “I’m not supposed to fuck you guys.”

Tetsuo doesn’t question the phrasing. He doesn't wonder why Taejun’s car doesn’t pull away. He's not paying enough attention anymore to pick up on it. as he steps out into the chilly night, he just pulls the hood of the oversized hoodie he’d borrowed from Taejun (his own had been casualty to the first of the three orgasms, so Taejun told him he’d wash it and give it to him ‘next time.’ Tetsuo doesn’t intend to get it back.) over his head and tries his best to not look like he’s limping his way back to the building.

He doesn't want to be seen by anybody. He doesn’t want them to know that he did this. But even now, past two in the morning, luck is not on his side. Jade catches him at the door of the apartment complex Valentine’s younger groups reside in, holding it wide open for him and clearly not reading anything from Tetsuo’s body language; which he imagines must scream ‘I don’t want to be acknowledged.’ 

“Hey, Tetsuo!” Jade greets in English with a cheerful bow. Taking the door handle from him, Tetsuo offers a polite bow and a pleasant smile. 

As he steps backwards into the hallway light, he asks “Where are you off to?” but Jade isn’t listening. His smile has dropped, and he’s looking at the hoodie swamping Tetsuo’s thin frame with a heavy brow. 

“Where did you get that?” he asks, suspicion heavy in his voice. Suddenly, Tetsuo feels himself panic. The guilt of what he’s done must be written all over his face. Wait, fuck, is there anything else on his face? Are his eyes still puffy from tears? Is he limping? Does he smell like sex? He feels his heart battering in his chest, and he doesn’t know why, because he’s a grown man and everyone knows that he’s a slut anyway, and Jade has no room to judge, and he hasn’t done anything fucking wrong. 

Right?

“Uh.” he looks down; and the check mark on the breast of the hoodie screams a quick answer at him. “The Nike store.”

Jade regards him for a second. “Oh.” He says. His face softens, and he gives another smile. “Well, it looks good on you! Anyway, my ride’s waiting, so.” 

With another little bow, Jade disappears into the night, and Tetsuo quickly shuts himself in the apartment complex hallway and lets out a shaky sigh that comes out halfway to a cough. Running his hand over his head, he mutters; “jesus fucking christ.”

Wearily, he regards the stairwell with his lips thinned into a bemused line as he laments his still wobbling knees. Tarot lived on the fifth floor. 

Who knew getting railed could have so many downsides.