#taehyung not being fazed at all?!??

[taee]

??????? (for @jung-koook ♡)

[ugh-yoongi]

the very last thing i decide | pjm

(or, the one in which a love exists that's easy and instinctual as much as it is painful and self-destructive.)

✘ PAIRING jimin x f. reader ✘ SUMMARY you learn what it means to love with blood on your hands. ✘ GENRE hitman/assassin au; angst, smut ✘ RATING explicit. minors dni. ✘ WARNINGS they are both hitmen (hitpeople?) so there's all the content that goes along with that: violence, death, mentions of blood (a lot) and weapons, murder, but no explicit gore. everyone is morally grey at best and downright psychotic at worst (especially yoongi). reader gets stabbed. no one knows how to be a functional human being. swearing, smoking, light smut (penetrative & oral sex), miscommunication and unrequited love but not really, i drop a classic tumblr meme in a line of dialogue. ambiguous/hopeful ending!! some of the themes here are kinda heavy and i am not entirely sure how to tag them so if you have any questions pls don’t hesitate to ask! ✘ WORDCOUNT 12k ✘ LISTEN TO manchester orchestra - telepath ✘ THANK YOU i cannot remember everyone i’ve showed this to over the years. @the-boy-meets-evil for looking this over and brainstorming with me today. @hot-soop for always being a help. @effortandmore because you told me an embarrassingly long time ago this was worth finishing. and i’m pretty sure i also sent this to @jihopesjoint at some point too. i did a quick edit of this on my own, but after nearly three years i just wanted it posted and out of my wips so i'm sure i missed things. pls ignore them. ✘ AUTHOR'S NOTE fic drops two days in a row?? who am i?? i started this in may 2021 and it was supposed to be a simple pegging fic. i abandoned it bc i was convinced no one would want to read it. between today and yesterday i have written thousands of words and made it across the finish line. i hope you like it. the violence is a metaphor for love or whatever.

[37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA]

Jimin’s hair had been red the first time he met you.

How fitting, he thinks, considering he’s currently bleeding out on a table.

Well, there’s still a bit of fight left in him. He hasn’t lost consciousness yet, which he assumes is a good sign; he can still hear Hoseok barking out orders quite clearly. The edges of his vision are fuzzy and the pain in his abdomen is sharp and unrelenting, but he still has enough brain power left to wish he’d died instead.

Because you’d saved his life. And now he’s further indebted to you.

(Jimin never leaves a debt unpaid, but he’s not sure how to make even on something like this.)

Jungkook and Taehyung are fetching supplies faster than Hoseok can ask for them. Two pairs of frazzled, spaced-out eyes. Four sets of trembling limbs. Namjoon’s wearing burn marks into the floor, his cuticles bloody and nearly worried to the bone since he can’t keep them out of his mouth.

And then there’s you.

Sitting cross-legged in a chair as you scroll through your phone. Jimin’s blood is still drying on your hands, leaving smears as you drag your thumb back and forth across the screen, and this doesn’t seem to faze you one bit.

Behind you, Yoongi takes a seat at the piano and starts playing Toccata and Fugue in D minor, and Jimin simply cannot die like this. He can’t die on a wooden table in a room with a piano on which Min Yoongi is playing Baroque organ pieces.

“What is this, a fucking funeral?” Hoseok snaps, though there’s a desperation creeping into his tone that Jimin does not like, does not want to hear. “Cut it out, Yoongi.”

Said man staunchly ignores the doctor, transitioning flawlessly into the fugue. Jimin barely hears the tinkle of your laughter but he hears it all the same, and he wants to pretend it doesn’t calm him, bring him back down to earth when he starts drifting too far away. But you do, and it does, and all he can think about is: will you miss him if he dies? Will it take you long to wash his blood from your hands?

Hoseok’s absolutely incensed, pushed to the limits of his stress at the thought of not being able to save Jimin’s life, and Jimin appreciates this, really, but not when Hoseok pushes two gloved fingers deep into the wound in his stomach so hard all he can do is cry. “Yoongi—”

You snort. You don’t even look up from your phone.

Namjoon, for all his leadership and stoicism and poise under pressure, is just as frantic and panicked as the rest. It’s not everyday one of his people is inches from death ten feet away from him. Most people usually die in the shadows. Kim Namjoon has faced down death more times than most, yet watching the life slowly fade from Jimin’s eyes is too much even for him. “Yoongi, please—”

But the fugue keeps going, tempo change after tempo change, the two pillars of this organization spiraling completely by the time the coda starts, unfocused and sweating and praying. To gods they don’t believe in, to hope, to chance—whatever and whoever might be listening. Jimin usually loves hearing Yoongi play. It’s the only thing that humanizes him, and Jimin had spent so many restless nights shoulder to shoulder with him on that exact bench in the blue hours of the early morning, hypnotized by the way the older man’s knobby fingers moved across the keys.

This is it, he thinks.

Jimin’s going to die with Toccata and Fugue in D minor playing in the background.

He’s imagined his death so many times. Stupid not to in this line of work. Violent, quick and painless, in his sleep, drawn out and gory, a message. And in all of those scenarios, it’s either jarringly silent or there’s someone screaming. Usually him, sounding much like he is now, two fingers stuck in his gut. In all of those scenarios, Min Yoongi is never playing Bach as everything fades to black.

You sigh. “Shut the fuck up, Yoongi,” you say, your tone as blasé and inconvenienced as ever.

Shocked at your audacity, one of Yoongi’s fingers slips and hits the wrong key, something dissonant and metallic as it rings out. But the music stops all the same, the silence nearly giving Jimin whiplash. Now he can hear the clinkof Hoseok’s tools, the squelching of his wound, Jungkook’s desperate pleading for him to just be alright, please God, just hang on. He wants the music back. He doesn’t want Jungkook’s crying to be the last thing he hears. Doesn’t want the sound of his own organs imprinted into his memory.

“What’d you say?” Yoongi asks, because no one talks to him that way. They wouldn’t dare. Most people try not to talk to him at all.

But you do.

And, inexplicably, Yoongi listens.

You roll your eyes. “You go deaf in your old age? I said shut the fuck up. Hoseok’s two knuckles deep in Jimin’s fucking stomach and you’re over there having your little Amadeus moment.”

He bristles. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” Yoongi repeats, and Jimin can’t see him, but he knows his eyes are narrowed, lips pulled back in a snarl, fists clenched at his side.

“Oh, princess,” you coo, and Yoongi’s fury is palpable, permeates every inch of this place, overrides all the fear and anguish. “I’m talking to you, baby. I know Jiminie’s busy trying not to die and that’s stressful for all of us, but please do try to keep up.”

Jimin hears the flick of Yoongi’s switchblade. Then he hears him say, “Please let me fucking kill her,” in that lazy Daegu drawl of his, like forming full words are beneath him. Not worth the effort when they’re directed at you.

Still seated, you uncross your legs and, through blurred vision, Jimin watches you grab Yoongi by his belt loops to tug him closer, grab the wrist that holds his knife and press it to your own throat. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Yoongi. Be a good boy and make it hurt.”

Jungkook’s near hysterics at Jimin’s side. “What the fuck is wrong with you two? He’s dying!”

Jimin tries to say I’m not, Kookie, I’m okay but the pressure on his abdomen is too intense. He can barely breathe, and Hoseok’s still digging around, still looking for that stupid fucking bullet, had to do something and do it quick so there’d been very little anesthetic and finesse, and he’s silently screaming for someone to just comfort Jungkook, tell him everything’s going to be okay, but instead—

“Serves him right for being a fucking idiot,” you say, words muffled by the knife still pressed to your throat. “What a painful, permanentlesson in not forgetting your fucking vest.”

“Stop it!” Jungkook sobs, fingers ghosting along Jimin’s matted fringe.

Yoongi’s still scowling. “Just say the word, Joon-ah. I’ll make it quick.”

You actually laugh at that. The kind of full-belly laugh Jimin would kill to be able to produce. “You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

Someone snarls. Probably Yoongi. “You’d look so good gutted on the floor like a fish,” he replies, and if Jimin knows him at all, he knows he’s got that dreamy, faraway look in his eyes. The one he always gets when he’s about to kill—the one that makes him so unhinged and dangerous. “Left there to bleed out and die all alone like the trash you are.”

No one’s survived that look before, but you just grin, as if being on the receiving end of it is nothing more than another simple inconvenience. “Do it, then,” you prompt. “You’re so big and bad, yet here you are, waiting for Namjoon’s permission like some kind of pathetic fucking dog.”

“I’m no one’s dog.”

Your eyes slowly flick over to Namjoon. “No?” you ask, smile widening as Jimin watches you drag your heeled foot up the inside of Yoongi’s calf, his thigh, stiletto coming to rest in the center of his sternum. “That’s a shame, princess. That pretty neck of yours was just made for a collar.”

There’s no doubt in Jimin’s mind now that he actually died back in that penthouse and is now residing in whatever level of hell is watching you give his associate a semi despite him being a millisecond away from murdering you.

Yoongi would do it, too. No hesitation. You’ve been on his shit list for as long as Jimin can remember, and you’ve been daring him to put his money where his mouth is and just kill you already for just as long.

Taehyung groans. “Can you two just fuck already so the rest of us can be spared of this?”

You click your tongue, tone melting like butter. You’re fond of Taehyung, soft on him. “No can do, angel. Yoongi here knows I only have eyes for our Jiminie, and god does that hurt his little feelings.”

Your wicked smile gives away nothing—whether you’re telling a bold truth or just unnecessarily needling Yoongi further—but Jimin’s caught off guard and chokes on your words nonetheless.

Hoseok’s forceps still digging around in his stomach, there’s a quiet hurrah of triumph as he finally locates the bullet. Jimin feels nothing as he retrieves it and plucks it out, a reverberated clank! as he drops it into a kidney dish, your words the anesthetic he’s needed as they play on a loop in his head.

When he finally blacks out, either from the pain or the adrenaline or both, it’s your face that greets him. He never gets the chance to tell you why he forgot his vest.

[64.1466° N, 21.9426° W | Reykjavík, ICELAND]

Jimin’s hair is blue when it happens the first time.

It’s November. Namjoon has sent the two of you to Reykjavik and it’s dark all the time, the midnight hue of his hair blending into the impenetrable nighttime that surrounds you. Jimin works best like this—out of sight, part of the shadows. He’s light on his feet, lithe in ways no one else is, not even you, and he’s impossible to anticipate under the cover of darkness.

That’s why Jimin always takes care of the appetizers.

It’s your job to clean up the main course.

The two of you are two halves of the same lethal coin, working together flawlessly after years of carefully honed practice. Jimin slams an unsuspecting man’s head into a wall and you’re right behind him to put a bullet in it.

It’s just how it goes.

And he trusts you. He has to, otherwise he would’ve gotten taken out years ago. You’re not always in his line of sight, but he always feels you, senses your movements before you’re even on your feet. The times it’s gone wrong—and it’s gone wrong so many fucking times, despite how cautious and skilled the two of you are—you’re always right there to catch him before he even hits the ground. Just like a ghost, as if your only purpose in life is keeping Jimin safe and alive.

(It isn’t, but it sure feels that way.)

Tonight it’s another hit carried out in an overpriced penthouse overlooking the northern shore. You’re in and out, don’t waste a second more than you need to. Jimin doesn’t spare a glance at the carnage left behind. Nothing he hasn’t seen a hundred times before. All blood bleeds the same, but he still wonders, foolishly, if his looks different to you. If it feels wrong when it stains your hands and seeps into your clothes.

Jimin has never been covered in your blood before, but he likes to think it would.

The two of you don’t speak until you’re in the quiet safety of yet another hotel room, chain lock thrown across the door, deadbolt secured. A small arsenal of weapons is retrieved from ankles and waistbands and cleaned and packed away meticulously. Jimin’s the one who makes the call to Namjoon, tells him in code that the job’s done. You’ve barely broken a sweat, but under the fluorescent light of the bathroom, Jimin can see a small smattering of blood just along your temple when he closes the distance between you.

Someone else’s, of course.

Anyone who made you bleed your own blood wouldn’t be a quick, clean kill. Jimin would make sure of that.

There’s less to be done about the half-inch scar in the hollow of your throat—a pearlescent reminder of the twin scar he has just below his navel; a callback to the day your devilish mouth said the words Jimin can’t stop thinking about.

“No can do, angel. Yoongi here knows I only have eyes for our Jiminie.”

Maybe it’s stupidity. Maybe it’s the feral, years-long build up that’s been simmering between the two of you—low enough to keep warm, contained enough to never evolve into a rapid boil. Maybe Jimin’s just finally desperate enough to go seeking out answers to questions he’s far too scared to put a voice to.

(Really, Jimin knows it’s adrenaline. Nothing more than chemicals. The two of you high on it, heads floating above the clouds. Powerless; or, at the very least, indifferent to stop the very clear path that’s unfolding on the ground below.)

But, god, he needs to know.

Needs answers.

Needs to know if there’s even a chance you feel it, too: the magnetic ebb and flow the two of you have been dancing around for years. If you see how fondly he looks at you. If you have any idea how easy it is for him to get lost in you. If you know he’d let someone put a bullet between his eyes before he placed his life in the hands of anyone else.

Jimin knows he loves you. He’s known it for a long time, just like he knows all those other things that are second nature to him. Loving you is easy and instinctual as much as it is painful and self-destructive.

At least that’s what he’d thought. Until your devilish mouth said those devilish words and sent him into a tailspin he’s yet to recover from.

You have to feel it. God, can’t you? The way the air crackles between you. The way his skin ignites with a simple look from you. The trembling of his fingers at his sides, desperate to just reach out and touch you—fingers that have been bathed in blood, that have taken life. Fingers that now just want to graze softly across your cheekbones, catch on your bottom lip. Fingers that want to hand you the world on a silver platter. Jimin would do anything for you, give you whatever you wanted. You wouldn’t even have to ask.

Can’t you feel that?

He needs to know.

Jimin is composed, elegant. He kills with grace and still maintains as much of his softness as he can. Isn’t ruled by emotion the way Yoongi and Jungkook are. But now, as he teeters on the edge of the unknown, all he wants to do is jump. Wants to buck all his training, all his resolve and forethought, and jump.

“Did you mean it?” he asks, voice thick. Fingers curl into the expensive silk of his shirt just so they have something to do—something to keep them from reaching out and touching you. “Back in Seoul.”

You’re the smartest person Jimin knows. When you ask, “Did I mean what, Chim?” he knows you’re fucking with him. Dragging this out. You know exactly what he’s asking and he knows you’ll never give anything away so easily.

“What you said to Taehyung,” he answers.

You tsk, eyebrows raising in intrigue. As much as Jimin trusts you, as well as you know him, know all those dirty, dirty secrets he’d never tell anyone else, he’s never been so bold with you. “That those long fingers of his would look good wrapped around my throat? Yeah, I meant that.”

Jimin’s jaw clenches at your taunt. “Don’t play games with me.”

A smirk graces your lips. “Trust me, sweetheart,” you say, voice sickly-sweet as the affection starts popping at the last seams holding him together, “if I wanted to play with you, there’s nothing you could do to stop it.”

With Jimin pressed into the wall behind you, you turn to meet his eye in the mirror. Another smile, teeth bared as you run your tongue across your lips, and this one is his undoing. Makes his cock twitch in his dress pants. Makes him bold. “Do you want to, then?” He takes a step forward—close enough to smell the gunpowder stuck to your clothes, your hair. Close enough for the sulfur and metal to sting his nostrils each time he breathes you in. “Do you want to play with me?”

You love Jimin. Maybe it’s a trauma bond or the implicit, unwavering trust the two of you have in one another, but you know you love him limitlessly. But you also know you can’t love him the way he loves you, the way he deserves to be loved by someone, which is why your mask slips as you say, “I can’t give you what you want, Jimin.”

You try to make him understand that. Really, you do—because Jimin is the smartest person you know, and you know he’s thought about every possible consequence down to the most minute detail and has decided this is worth it anyway. You want to believe in something the way Jimin believes in you, even though he’s wrong. You want something worth throwing all of this away for.

Maybe it’s Jimin, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just been so fucking long since someone has looked at you with any gentleness in their eyes at all that when Jimin meets your gaze and says, “I don’t want anything more than you’re willing to give,” you take his hand and jump, too.

And there’s nothing gentle about the first time.

It’s all raw, urgent need, Jimin trying desperately to convince himself it’s more than it is while you convince yourself it’s less.

It’s the two of you finally giving up and giving in, letting yourselves be pulled taut by that invisible string tying you together.

It’s Jimin’s sharp intake of breath when you fully step out of your clothes, the sight rendering him immobile. Whatever plans he’d had before seeing the curves of your body, all the scars from years of working by his side, the mottled yellow-greens and purples from the bruises lining your skin—he has no plans now. Can barely think. Wouldn’t be able to tear his eyes away from you with a gun to his head.

It’s the final bricks of the wall he’d built around himself—around his heart, around all those words and feelings he’d never put a voice to—crumbling into ash at his feet. Now he knows he can’t go back. Can’t return to a reality where this isn’t his truth. Where there’s no you and him, him and you. Where it’s just a physical exchange, a give-and-take, tit for tat.

And god, he knows he shouldn’t think like this; knows he’s keeping the truth buried somewhere deep behind lock and key.

…But now that he knows how it feels to move inside you, what else is he supposed to do?

You’re everywhere. Clenched around him. Your taste on his tongue. The feel of you on the pads of his fingers. The smell of you making a mockery of all logical thought. No—no, he can’t do a goddamn thing to stop the avalanche now it’s started.

“Fuck,” he whines, fingers digging into your hips. The soft skin he finds purchase in such a contrast from your hardened exterior, but Jimin knows. He knows you, knows the person behind the mask, sees straight through you each time it slips.

What stared back at him had always been just out of reach.

Taunting him.

Screaming come and get me, come make me yours, come and fucking take what you want.

Until now.

Now it’s tangible. Now it’s breathy, fractured moans that echo off tile walls. Now it’s the sound of his name thatleaves your lips like a prayer. Now it’s the sheen of sweat that covers both of you. Now it’s nails scraping down his back, tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck.

(And Jimin won’t tell you this, but those red welts are proof that this is real, this happened, and later on when he’s alone, when his mind is working overtime, he’ll look at them and he’ll smile. Because they’re real. Because this happened.)

Now, it’s the way blue becomes his favorite color. Because he can see his reflection in the mirror as he unravels and comes to his own demise as he spills inside of you; can see the fluorescent lights reflecting off the hue of his hair.

Jimin’s hair is blue when he realizes he’s in love with you.

[34.6037° S, 58.3816° W | Buenos Aires, ARGENTINA]

Jimin is blond when Namjoon sends you to South America.

The details had been scarce: a diplomatic advisor with a rap sheet of human rights violations that have been continuously swept under the rug and his equally-corrupt lawyer. A candid photograph paperclipped to another manila folder, Namjoon a fan of all those old cliches. Likes being a little cheeky that way when he can get away with it, because god knows he can’t get away with much, doesn’t have much of a sense of humor.

It’s a simple job. You and Jimin will have it dealt with in a matter of hours. Less if you’re lucky and the universe is agreeable. But the humidity sticks to your skin, has sweat seeping into your clothes and rolling down your temples, and if there’s one thing you can’t stand it’s the heat. Makes it hard to think. And Namjoon—Namjoon, who makes sure all of his agents want for nothing—is a cheap bastard. Rarely approves nice lodging, says it’s too risky despite your arguments to the contrary, that people don’t care what you do when you have money, so you’re stuck in some shithole motel room with an aircon unit that keeps blowing out stale, warm air.

And maybe you shouldn’t, maybe you should be more cognizant of Jimin and all his feelings, but it’s fucking hot, so you peel your shirt over your head and undo the button of your pants. Sit on the edge of the bed and try to think about anything other than the temperature, how it’s starting to prick uncomfortably at your skin.

Jimin clears his throat, keeps his eyes glued to the disgusting carpet. “Got a text from Seokjin-ssi,” he says, words strained. “Looks like they’ll be solo jobs.”

You groan. Leave it to Seokjin to change the plan at the last minute. “Tell Kim Seokjin he’s a useless piece of shit.”

“Done. Anything else?”

“Tell Kim Namjoon if he ever sends us to South America in the summer again I’ll kill him myself.”

Jimin has a laugh like an anodyne. A laugh that takes all those broken, bleeding parts of you and soothes over them like a balm. “Seokjin-ssi says he’s not passing along that particular message.”

“Tell him he’s a bitch, then.”

“He’ll kill me if I say that.”

“He hasn’t done field work in years and he’s probably too vitamin D deficient to leave the basement. He couldn’t even kill a fucking rat.”

There’s another laugh. More forced, less tinkling. You recognize it right away, the sound of anxiety. Solo jobs aren’t common for the two of you. For Yoongi and Taehyung, sure, but not you and Jimin. You’re a team for a reason, and though you’re more than capable of getting this done and out of the way, it doesn’t feel right. Settles in your gut like something rotten, knowing you’ll be without Jimin.

And you know he’s thinking it, too. How he turns the burner over and over in his hands, as if there’s some combination of words he can send back to Seoul to get Seokjin and Namjoon to reconsider. Plans don’t change often; not like this, anyway. These have been declared solos for a reason, and that’s a thought you can’t linger on too long.

“Are they leaving it up to us?” Jimin nods, still not meeting your eye. “Do you have a preference?”

He shrugs, tossing the phone on the small table in the corner. Nothing else to be done. “Not really. What do you think?”

“Nah, don’t care, either. Just toss me one.”

Santiago Aguirre… 47 years old… Resides in a high-rise luxury apartment in Retiro…

Your eyes skim the file, study the black and white photograph of the lawyer. Read over the list of all his high-profile, degenerate clients and all their high-profile crimes. You read about the previous attempts on his life, the seemingly never-ending list of people who want him dead. Your eyes go back to his photograph, frowning at the smug look on his face. What stares back at you is a man who thinks he’s invincible, who thinks a penthouse apartment on the top floor and a security team in the lobby means he’s impervious to harm. A man who has made money off people just like him: dirty, corrupt, hands stained red.

“Okay?” Jimin asks, looking up from his own file.

He’s so striking. So safe. And you know what he’s done, giving you the hit he thinks is easier, willing to risk himself on a solo mission to ensure you make it out. There’s no guarantees in this line of work, in life in general, but Jimin’s brand of selfless love is certainly one.

So you just nod, knowing someone slimy like this can quickly go sideways, and decide you can do the same.

“I’m gonna get ready,” you say. “The plan is the same as all the other solo jobs. Get in, get it done, get out as quickly as possible. Lay low. Don’t come straight back here.”

Jimin rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Anything else?”

You exhale. Try to quiet the nerves roiling in your stomach. Barely resist the urge to press a lingering kiss to Jimin’s forehead before you swallow hard and say, “Yeah. Stay alive.”

It comes out more like a plea.

—

You’re good at your job.

Rarely feel much guilt over it, either, which—well, you’re not sure what that means. That something is permanently broken in your psyche, probably. Being able to take life so easily and without remorse. It’s not natural.

Kim Namjoon is a man who plays God, is the one who decides who gets to live and who has to die. His word is the only law you adhere to. And that’s… that’s something. Makes it less burdensome, takes some weight off, because Kim Namjoon wouldn’t accept a morally-ambiguous job. He wouldn’t ask you to put your life on the line for some petty bullshit.

This is how you’ve lived for the last four years. Four years of blindly following Namjoon’s word, of being a good little soldier and doing whatever is asked of you. Four years of being responsible for not only your own life, but Jimin’s as well, just as he is for yours. Four years that have served you well, all things considered.

Until now.

Something about this job hits you hard. Doesn’t settle quite as quickly as the ones that have come before. For the first time, you’d looked down at the lifeless body at your feet and couldn’t stop the trembling, could barely quell the nausea. Thought what the fuck am I doing, what kind of life is this for the first time. Thought back to that day four years ago when Kim Namjoon saved your life and offered you a job and wondered, for the first time, what would’ve happened if you’d said no.

Now, as you suck on a cigarette, legs dangling off the roof of a building looking not far from collapse, a new thought:

Would Namjoon let you go if you asked?

He’s taken care of you. For four years you’ve wanted for nothing. Have socked away more money than you’ll ever be able to spend, even if you live to a thousand. You could go anywhere, become anyone, and no one would suspect a thing. There’d just be you and a million lifetimes’ worth of transgressions, alone under the weight of all that burden; alone, except for all the ghosts that come to greet you every time you close your eyes.

Doesn’t matter. Namjoon might be willing to let you go, give you the chance to salvage something from this life in the name of normalcy, but Yoongi would gladly put a bullet in your head before he let you disappear with all his secrets.

Doesn’t matter.

You stub out the cigarette and put the butt in your pocket. Make your way down to the street. Stay under the shadows—just visible enough to redirect any suspicion shot your way. You pretend to take a call, flawless Argentinian Spanish falling from your lips as you tell the imaginary person on the other end all about your fucked up day at work. How your manager never gets off your ass, doesn’t trust you, thinks you’re too fucking stupid to run a simple executable.

No one spares you a second glance.

Not here, on this nondescript street in a nondescript Argentinian neighborhood, and not when you stumble into the tiny lobby of your shithole motel. The poor kid behind the desk doesn’t even glance up, just mutters a good evening, miss under his breath that you return in a voice far too high-pitched to be your own.

Better to be seen and be unremarkable than draw attention to yourself trying to stay invisible, you figure.

The cameras in the stairwell are broken so you take the steps two at a time. Pull the room key from its place inside your boot, happy to no longer have it digging into your skin. Pause just long enough to make sure you don’t hear anything on the other side of the door before you’re unlocking it with your free hand wrapped around the trigger of your gun.

It’s empty.

Of course it is.

Jimin stashed the burner in a place no one but you would think to look. You text one simple word to Seokjin—Hey!—and you get two in return: Who’s this?

You know who it is, you fucking dickhead.

It takes a few seconds, but the reply is a simple—

Sorry.

Then you toss aside the phone and float in the darkness of the room. There’s nothing to do but wait, because you don’t dare to do anything alone. There’s sweat and blood and fuck knows what else stuck to your skin, your hair, but you can’t risk taking a shower. Can’t risk the water dampening your senses. Can’t risk being cornered in a moldy bathroom, only one way out. Can’t risk doing anything alone. Can’t take a fucking shower.

It’s this thought, more than anything else, that has your body flushing with rage.

What kind of life is this?

Namjoon had never mentioned repaying your debt. He’d never insinuated you owed him anything at all for saving your life, but you know something like that never comes for free. Namjoon doesn’t do anything just because. Has no goodness in his heart to do anything in the name of it. Watching Jimin nearly die in front of him had been the exception to his usual nature; a rare slip-up by an otherwise detached, uncaring man.

Still, whatever you owe him has surely been repaid by now. Tenfold, if the bloodstains along your collar are anything to go by.

It’s time for Namjoon to let you go.

—

Something is wrong.

Two hours have ticked by and there’s no word from Jimin. No word from Namjoon or Seokjin, either, which is the only reason you’re still in this nauseating motel room and not out on the streets searching for him. Solo jobs don’t go like this. The two of you are always in and out, tragically efficient. Back to where you started and then back on a plane, nothing left behind except a singular bullet hole and another fragmented piece of your conscience.

You’ve had a lot of jobs go wrong, but never two hours.

You’re about three minutes from coming out of your skin. Sick to your stomach with worry, anxiety weighing you down like an anchor. You wouldn’t be able to go out searching for Jimin like this even if you could, and there’s no point in dwelling on that, examining it further. All you can do is wait.

It’s another hour before you hear the click of the lock. You’re nearly on your knees in relief, but you stay rooted to the flimsy mattress. Try not to think about how you’ll have to sleep on it, even though you’ll be up half the night with residual worry. All those lingering ghosts.

Jimin doesn’t say anything, so neither do you.

[55.6761° N, 12.5683° E | Copenhagen, DENMARK]

Jimin’s hair is orange when you go to Copenhagen.

Not for a job, just to breathe. You wanted to see the city at Christmastime; Jimin’s never been.

You crack a joke. Point out buildings of similar color, have him stand in front of one as you take a picture. Everyone smiles when they pass the two of you on the street, Jimin’s eyes fond even though he rolls them as you pose him how you want. Still stands against an apricot-colored wall and flashes a smile and a peace sign, cheeks pink from the cold. Does a good job of pretending the two of you aren’t here just for fun, that this is something more.

It’s not.

The two of you fucked in a hotel room in Reykjavik and haven’t spoken a word of it since.

You nearly lost your mind over him in Buenos Aires and haven’t spoken a word of that, either.

Instead, his hand finds yours as the two of you walk around Tivoli Gardens. You marvel at the lights and Jimin marvels at you. You share mulled wine and spiced doughnuts. Jimin tries to drag you on the swings but you plant your feet and refuse, laughing through your refusals. As dangerous as your lives are, motion sickness might be the most. He gets his revenge and poses you in front of a giant nutcracker, then again in front of one of the endless Christmas trees.

Jimin pays for the two of you to decorate honey cakes. You’re surrounded by families with shrieking children and palpable adoration, and it’s all you can do not to wonder if anyone you’ve taken out had ever had something like this. Something that makes your soul warm; something that still lingers in your bones years later.

The two of you take a selfie when it starts to snow. It stings when you have no one to send it to, so it just lives in your phone. Maybe it’s enough.

On another day, Jimin holds your hand through Torvehallerne. This time you marvel at him while he marvels at all the food, eyes wide each time he turns to ask if he should buy something. You always say yes and he always shares, and it’s all you can do not to think about why you don’t have to budget yourselves. Why you’re able to walk through the market and buy whatever you want; how you could buy every item for sale and it wouldn’t make a dent.

(You pick up small trinkets for Taehyung and Jungkook. Not because you want to, but because it feels nicer than remembering that you have no one to buy gifts for. Not really. Not anymore.)

Jimin wants to ice skate, so you do. He holds your hand then, too. More out of necessity than anything else, and he has none of his usual grace. Someone hands you a free cup of hot chocolate, just because. Jimin pouts and then it’s his hot chocolate. It’s all you can do not to kiss away the whipped cream on the corner of his mouth.

Back in your lavish hotel, after countless days have blurred together and Jimin’s fresh from a shower, skin flushed, you finally ask yourself if it’s worth putting up such a fight. If it’s really all that bad to care for Jimin and be cared for in return. If it’s all that bad to be someone else, just for a little while: someone with a normal life who makes a normal living and has a normal capability to love. Someone who isn’t damaged beyond repair.

That will never be you. Not fully, and certainly not in this lifetime, but maybe it could be, a little.

“Jimin,” you say, because you need to try. Jimin loves you in ways you’ll never understand, and you want to be better for him. “We should talk.”

Your voice is small and hesitant, and Jimin hates it. Sees trouble where there’s only vulnerability, so he misreads. Shakes his head. Takes a risk and stands between your legs at the edge of the bed—yours, because there’s two—as he tilts your head back, thumbs pressing into the contours of your cheeks. The scar still sits in the hollow of your throat, and that version of you feels so far away. That life feels so far away.

There’s no violence here. There’s no blood, no fugues. There’s just you and Jimin, whose voice is small like yours when he shakes his head and says, “You should kiss me instead.”

The second time is nothing like the first.

Jimin moves delicately. Feels like silk lace, tastes like spun sugar. Moves both his mouth and his body fluidly, no hesitation, yet he still takes his time. Still pauses to look at you with endless devotion; with awed reverence. Makes a map of your body and marks all his favorite places with his lips.

“Tell me what you want,” he says. Speaks the words against the skin just beneath your ear. “Anything. I’ll give you whatever you want, just have to ask.”

What you want isn’t tangible, isn’t possible, so you stay quiet. Thread your fingers through Jimin’s hair, gasp when he mouths along the column of your throat. Jimin reserves all his softness for you. Bathes you in it. Would kill anyone to keep it that way.

So you say, “Want your mouth,” and let slip a quiet moan when he gives you what you’ve asked for. When he situates himself between your thighs and sucks and licks until you’re writhing, making a mess, grasping fruitlessly at the sheets, his hair, his shoulders, only calming when his hands find yours and your fingers interlock.

Jimin mouths at you until you’re trembling. Until you’re needy and desperate, hips moving on their own, fucking yourself against his face. Until nothing exists except the heat in your belly, the stars behind your eyelids, the heady, fucked-out sound of Jimin’s voice as he talks you through it, murmurs praise against your cunt.

Jimin mouths at you until you forget.

This isn’t your life. This is not something you can have.

But, in the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? You’ve made peace with death, and there’s only one of two ways it’s going to come for you in the end: by Namjoon’s hand or someone else’s. So what does it matter?

This time, Jimin fucks you slow. Kisses you with your taste still in his mouth. Thumbs over a hardened nipple just to see what earns him a reaction, and what you truly want is more time—something else that’s impossible.

Jimin’s hair is orange when you think you might be in love with him.

[ 48.8566° N, 2.3522° E | Paris, FRANCE ]

Jimin’s hair is pink when—

“Sit,” he says, gesturing to the toilet.

Soaks a washcloth in warm water. Wrings it out. Stands in front of you, and there’s water dripping onto the floor and Jimin doesn’t care, doesn’t seem to see anything in this moment except for you, your hands covered in someone else’s blood, and he reaches out, gently grabs your wrist. Palm up. Someone else’s blood. Everything smells like copper and iron. Looks too surreal beneath the fluorescent lights of this hotel bathroom for your mind to make sense of it.

There is care in the way Jimin cleans your hands. There is tenderness in the way he both refuses to see what you really are and the way he’s the only one to ever see you so entirely, when you look down at the blood he’s washing away and all you can see is stigmata. When all you see is sin.

“I know you don’t love me,” he says, and there is a conviction in his words that stuns you into silence. “Not the way I love you, anyway.”

That tenderness is still there as he says this. As he presses the wet fabric into the meat of your palm, wipes the stains away, and the warmth is as calming as it is undeserved. It feels like something forbidden. It feels like salvation and condemnation all at once, like whatever sick depravity permeates you is contagious, will take over Jimin, too, just from touching you.

Jimin is close enough to reach out and touch. Close enough to see the violence that he exists in alongside you: the rips in his clothes, the scars that decorate his skin. Close enough to know he smells sickly-sweet, just like death. Your hand shakes as it reaches for him and never follows through. Doesn’t want to contaminate him.

“I do,” you finally say. Whatever is in your voice is not conviction. “I can’t.” You suck in a breath, try to steady your breathing. This is where it all comes crashing down, you think, because in all the years you’ve done Namjoon’s bidding, you’ve never cried. You can take life so freely and without thought, but you cannot love Jimin. “Someone like me isn’t capable of it.”

Jimin pauses, the washcloth stuck in the space between your ring and middle fingers. “And who is someone like you?”

Water is still dripping to the floor. Serosanguineous: blood tainting something untouched. Not something one thing or another but both, watery-pink. Looks like Jimin’s hair. “I’ve killed a lot of people,” you answer. “More than I can count. More than I can name. More than the ones that come to haunt me at night.” Your free hand moves to your chest, covers your heart. “There’s nothing here, Jimin. I’m not sure there ever was.”

The washcloth drops to the floor, and all that blood belonging to a man whose name you never bothered to learn before you put a bullet between his eyes finds a new place to rest. “I think,” he begins, clasping your unclean hand in his own, voice dropping to a whisper, “you forget, sometimes.” You gasp as he places your palm to his cheek, drags it across his face, smears a stranger’s blood across his skin. “That we’re the same.”

Jimin is always overwhelming, but the love he has for you is even more so. It consumes you entirely, embeds itself beneath your skin, makes a home, would tear you apart, body and soul, to return to him.

[ 47.4979° N, 19.0402° E | Budapest, HUNGARY ]

Jimin’s hair is lavender when it all goes to shit.

“You’re being followed.”

Seokjin’s voice is garbled through the earpiece, tinny and metallic, and you roll your eyes. Some things don’t need to be said, because you’ve known someone was following you for the last three blocks. Average height, black peacoat, close-cropped haircut. Not the kind of person that’d stand out here, and that’s exactly why you’d sent Jimin in the other direction.

“No shit,” you respond in Hungarian, because you already know the man following you doesn’t speak or understand it. “Give me somewhere to go.”

It takes Seokjin a few moments to run the translation. “There’s a side street up on your right,” he answers. “It’s tight, but there’s an alleyway at the end. You can buy some time if you’re quick.”

“Where’s Jimin?”

You pass a vendor selling lángos and duck into the street behind the stall. Just as Seokjin had said, there’s a small alleyway up on the left, and your footfall is near-silent as you break into a sprint to reach it. “Safe,” is all Seokjin says.

You take a second to steady your breathing, knowing you’re good on time—the man following you was close enough to know where you’d turned, but, if you’re lucky, not much after that. That plays on a loop: if you’re lucky, if you’re lucky, if you’re lucky. What is luck, what does it look like, in a life left entirely to chance? In a life with no guarantees?

You tuck yourself away, focus on Seokjin’s metallic breaths. Think about his basement in Seoul, why he’s in it. Ask, “What happened in Addis Ababa?” because it feels important to know.

There’s not much you know about Seokjin’s life. Whatever happened in Ethiopia had been before your time, reduced to hushed whispers and gossip fodder after your arrival. No one spoke of it, Seokjin especially, but every now and then something would slip in the same way weeds grow in sidewalk cracks.

A job gone wrong. A bombing at the consulate with Seokjin inside.

His reply is simple, words spoken carefully: “I loved someone once, too.”

He can’t see it, but you nod nonetheless; an answer that doesn’t require a response, because you know. It’s enough to fill in the rest. What Seokjin’s trauma looks like. Why he doesn’t do field work anymore. Why he prefers the solitude of the basement, rarely a sound beyond the electric thrum of the server racks.

Who had gone in to retrieve him, and why Yoongi has the scar over his eye.

“You loved someone,” you conclude, “and he would’ve been willing to die for you.”

“Yes,” Seokjin says, and it’s like the word’s been punched out of him. Sounds like something repressed, something left to rot in the darkest corner of the world.

Love, to Seokjin, looks and sounds the same as death.

“I think most people spend their entire lives searching for a love like that,” he continues, and if you could see him you think he might look dazed, off-kilter. You think he might be an avatar. Seokjin is prying his ribcage apart, unwrapping the barbed wire from his heart, saying I once was in love and this is all I know of it. “But, to me, in this life, it’s a prison. Once someone is willing to die for you, how do you keep them alive? How do you—I kissed that skin. I worshiped it. I pressed my lips to it with whatever softness was left in me. How do you look at that same skin and know you’re the reason it’s mangled?” He exhales, all tremor. “You can’t. You can’t.”

You know this all too well. You know what it feels like to look at Jimin and know, intrinsically and subconsciously, that you wouldn’t even hesitate. You’d take and give life to keep him alive and safe. You know that when you exit this world at someone else’s hand his face is the last thing you want to see.

You know it’s a liability.

You know it’s a target painted on your back. Between your eyes.

You know there’s nothing left to say, that this particular conversation has run its course. The two of you sit in an amicable silence, and you hope Seokjin can hear the life that surrounds you, however mundane. Hope he can hear the lángos vendor trying to hawk his goods; hope he can hear a city 8,000 kilometers away; hope he can hear these regular, everyday people going about their lives and remember there’s hope beyond his four walls.

I think you’d like it here, you think, but you don’t dare to say it aloud.

Time passes in a meaningless blur. Could be minutes, could be hours. No one’s come to kill you, so you reckon you’ve long since been in the clear. And maybe it speaks to Seokjin’s idea that love is a prison, because you know something’s happened to Jimin long before Seokjin speaks it into existence.

You’re up and out of the alleyway before you’re told to move. Have no idea where you’re going, but you’re racing through the streets of Budapest with a panic you haven’t ever felt in your life. Feels like quicksand; feels like molasses; feels like you have to wade through all the blood you’ve spilled, now congealed, to get to him.

“Where am I going?” you demand. Your lungs are on fire. In the split-second of silence it becomes a desperate scream. “Seokjin, tell me where the fuck I’m going!”

“The—fuck, the wa-warehouse up on your right.” You can’t think about why he’s crying. “I don’t—I don’t know wha-what’s there, you need to be careful. Please, you have to—”

Twenty seconds and you’ll be there, you’ll be with Jimin, you just need to keep running. You need to keep your head on straight. Remember your training. Remember you’ve built a life in a viper pit.

A man in a uniform is unloading a shipment around the back of the building. Faces away from you, bent at the waist. Takes very little effort to smash his head into the stone exterior and knock him unconscious, pocket his badge. You can’t get stupid now. Tell Seokjin to make sure all the cameras are cut, ask what floor when you shut yourself inside the freight elevator, unwilling to take the stairs and run into anyone who might be waiting. All the way to the top, he says, so all the way to the top you go.

—

Over the course of your life, you’ve made peace with death. Have stared it in the eye more times than you can count. Have dealt it out, evaded it, shook its hand.

You are wholly unprepared for the sight that greets you.

Red. Everything is red—the walls, the floor, what used to be a beautiful parquet pattern in the wood. In the center of the room: two bodies, maybe three. Not much that’d be able to identify them beyond a pile of teeth, no saying whose is whose. Slaughterhouse scraps.

And this is not—Jimin doesn’t work this way. Isn’t his MO. Jimin’s kills are elegant and neat, topped with a bow. What you see before you is ultraviolence. It is unhinged, it is fury, it is a complete loss of control. It’s what love looks like to Jimin, because he sits at the very edge of a rotted chair, legs crossed. Face streaked with blood, clothes covered in it.

“Jimin,” you say, because what else is there?

He tilts his head to the side, smirks a little, looks at you beneath his lashes. Eyes that used to find you across a room and calm you. Eyes that have locked onto you in the throes of pleasure. Eyes you’ve seen yourself reflected in, bathed in love and adoration.

Eyes that now contain nothing.

“Jimin, what the fuck happened?”

He removes his gloves with his teeth and doesn’t flinch away from the taste of iron. “They said they hurt you,” he states simply, “so I did what needed to be done.”

“What—” Nausea claws at your throat; for the first time, it’s all too much. This isn’t Jimin. This isn’t your Jimin, who smiled as you posed him against apricot walls in Copenhagen, who took a bullet to the stomach to protect you and never, ever told you. This is not the Jimin who wasted the last of his goodwill on loving you. “What did you do?” you whisper.

He rises to full height and it makes you flinch. You are scared of Jimin for the first time in your life: scared of who he is in this moment, what he’s capable of. And he sees it, lets that brand of anguish overtake him. Reaches for you before he decides against it and lets his hand drop to his side. Says, “I would never hurt you,” as if the words could brand themselves into your skin so you’d never forget.

“No, you’d just—” You squeeze your eyes shut. Don’t think about how one of the men nearly embedded into the floor was the one trailing you earlier.

Instead, you think about Seokjin: Once someone is willing to die for you, how do you keep them alive? You think about: How do you look at that same skin and know you’re the reason it’s mangled? You think about: In this life, it’s a prison.

You drop to your knees. Let the blood seep through your clothes and into your skin, undeserving of shying away from it.

Namjoon should’ve let you go.

You think about the men in front of you. Who they were, who they loved. The grief all of this is going to leave behind, and it becomes impossible to breathe. You grasp at your throat, think about all the times you’ve been strangled and who’d been there to cut the rope. There is no limit to Jimin’s devotion, and you understand now, how it drove Yoongi to madness. How he loved someone so much he would’ve retrieved their corpse from a building and how that same person can no longer bear to look at the damage they’d caused.

“This isn’t love, Jimin,” you choke out.

He stands in front of you. Stigmata. You’re worshiping at the altar of some kind of devil. At least his hands are clean when he places his fingers beneath your chin, forces you to look up at him. “What is it, then?”

“Destruction.”

A quiet huff of cruel laughter. “See, this is the difference between me and you, darling.” He takes back his hand, runs it through his blood-streaked hair, and your chin sags to your chest without his support. “Because I already knew that. Because I have destroyed myself every single day loving you.” He squats down, eye-level, and he says, “I need you to listen to me when I say this, sweetheart: you do not love me the way I love you, because I would do worse. When it comes to you, there is nothing on this earth I would not destroy to keep you safe.”

He clears his throat. Collects whatever’s in his mouth and spits onto one of the bodies. “If this is enough to have you tucking your fucking tail between your legs, then go, because this doesn’t even scratch the fucking surface.”

You can’t bring yourself to say anything, and sometimes that says it all.

Jimin presses a kiss to the top of your head. Makes a call. Cleaners will be here soon, he says, better get going.

You watch him go.

[ 37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA ]

Jimin’s hair is black when Namjoon calls the meeting.

He takes the seat across from Namjoon’s desk because they don’t meet like this often. Assignments are usually manila folders slipped under doors, hushed whispers in hallways confirmed with a nod or a text on a burner phone. Assignments are not last-minute assemblies in conference rooms and offices.

But the way Namjoon is looking at him, with his clenched jaw and a gaze that’s meant to look barbed to anyone who doesn’t actually know him—Jimin doesn’t need to ask what this is about.

Had he bothered to look, he would’ve known by the way you stood in the far corner of the room, face obscured by the mid-afternoon shadows. Yoongi’s close to you, for some reason: dressed head to toe in black, perched on a lateral file cabinet, using a metal corner to sharpen his switchblade. Just like a harbinger of death. Some sort of fucked up omen, a warning that’s come too late.

Didn’t I tell you this would end badly, he hears Yoongi taunt in his head. This is what happens when you lay with trash.

Easy for Yoongi to say when he doesn’t know what it means to be cared for by you. Doesn’t know how it feels to give in to the freefall and plummet at your feet, stripped back and laid bare. Doesn’t know how it feels to kiss secrets into your skin like constellations, to map his tongue along every unspoken confession.

Easy for Yoongi to say, because he doesn’t have to survive the aftermath. Doesn’t have to feel the heartbreak, the agony of having you and watching as you slip through his fingers. Yoongi doesn’t have to struggle just to breathe, doesn’t have to endure the nights staring at the ceiling, watching as the daylight creeps into the corners of his vision. Doesn’t have to watch you looking so unaffected.

“Jimin.” Namjoon’s tone is flat, needlelike.

Behind him, Yoongi chuckles lowly. “What?” Jimin asks, his gaze trained on the painting behind Namjoon’s head. Looks like one he’d seen in Berlin, the time the two of you had gone just because and spent an afternoon ducking in and out of museums to escape the rain.

When he closes his eyes, he still sees the raindrops stuck to your eyelashes. The beads of water rolling off the sleeves of your leather jacket. How blinding your smile had been. The laughter in your voice as you ordered beer after beer after beer for the two of you in flawless Berlinisch. A brief, fleeting glimpse at normalcy. At the kind of life the two of you could have if you were just… different. Lived different lives. Were different people.

“You’ve gotten sloppy.”

Namjoon’s words are a cold bucket of water. Snap him back to reality, yank him back to the present where he’s forced to leave those river-lined streets behind. You’re silent and Yoongi’s still snorting laughter. “Okay,” is all Jimin can bring himself to say.

Jin had gotten sloppy once, too, and Namjoon stuck him down in the basement to work logistics. Might not be so bad, Jimin reckons. He’d be away from you, spared of this fucking misery. “So you know that’s unacceptable.”

Jimin just shrugs, resigned to his fate, whatever it may be. “I’m reassigning the both of you,” Namjoon continues. “You’ll both have new partners for your next assignments, since you clearly can no longer be trusted together.”

“Who?” Jimin manages to choke out.

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, clearly having expected an argument. “You’re being sent to Shanghai with Jungkook. You,” he says, turning his attention to you, “are going to Moscow with Taehyung.”

She’s fond of Taehyung, Jimin wants to say. But you’d been fond of him too, once upon a time, and that’d only ended in heartbreak, so who fucking cares.

They’re cruel, the tricks Jimin’s mind plays on him. How he convinces himself you look pained. How his fingers wring together at the thought of entrusting his life in the hands of someone else, someone new. At your life being just as at stake; at Taehyung being tasked with keeping you alive. Would you die for him, too, the way you’d always told Jimin you would for him? Would Taehyung take a bullet to the stomach to keep you safe the way Jimin had?

Even more cruel is the way you scoff, pushing yourself off of the wall as you fold your arms across your chest and say, “That’s bullshit, Kim Namjoon.”

No one talks to Namjoon that way except you.

Yoongi’s knife stops twirling. Just like a bird sensing a storm, senses on high-alert as he flicks his gaze over to you. “I’m sorry?” Namjoon says. “What part of Jimin losing his mind and nearly outing all of us seems like bullshit to you?”

“Hm, let me think,” you retort, a manicured finger tapping against the hollow of your cheek. “The part where you’re reassigning me for someone else’s mistake?”

Which part was the mistake? Jimin wants to ask. Needs to know how much you regret. Was sleeping with you the mistake? Falling in love with you? Getting too caught up in all these daydreams and letting reality get away from him?

“This organization is more important than Park Jimin getting his goddamn dick wet,” Namjoon snaps. “Keeping all of you safe—keeping you alive—is more—”

You scoff. Take an entire container of gasoline and pour it right on top of Namjoon’s flammable ire. “Then perhaps you’d be so kind as to explain to me why Min fucking Yoongi can fuck damn near everyone in this establishment, yet I have to sit here and listen to your goddamn mouth—”

Jimin doesn’t think Yoongi even knows his arm is moving.

There’d just been the trading of barbed words. His own name being spoken into the ether. Yoongi’s arm moving away from his body, switchblade clasped tightly between his fingers as he plunges it into your flesh.

Jimin watches it puncture your arm in slow motion. Feels the bile in his throat, the heat in his belly. Looks first at Namjoon whose jaw has gone slack, skin pale, as he stammers over words that won’t come. Then he looks at Yoongi—expects to find shock or guilt but finds only a muted disinterest and flared nostrils.

Finally, he looks at you. Watches the white cotton sleeve of your shirt slowly turn red and sticky-wet. Watches as your lips move around syllables and vowels and consonants Jimin can’t decipher.

“—fucking piece of shit, this is my favorite shirt! I’ll never get all this goddamn blood out of it—”

Jimin thinks he hears Yoongi say you deserve it. But Jimin isn’t really thinking much as he clambers out of his chair and moves in Yoongi’s direction. Doesn’t think at all as he lets instinct take over, lets adrenaline steer him headfirst into yet another bad idea.

He’s always known there’d come a day he’d be face-to-face with the sight of your blood. Had always known it’d come from someone else’s hand. Had always promised himself that hurting you would be the last thing anyone ever did.

Jimin has his fingers wrapped around Yoongi’s throat and he finally understands it—the joy Yoongi finds in taking life.

“What’s the matter, Jimin-ah?” Yoongi taunts. Jimin tightens his grip. Suddenly hates that fucking scar across Yoongi’s eye. “You’re never on clean-up duty. Always make your girlfriend do the dirty work. Finally grew some fucking balls, huh?”

“Fuck you,” Jimin says stupidly. Can’t think of anything more to say. Not that he needs to. Wrapping your hands around someone’s throat sends enough of a message, he thinks.

Namjoon’s still tongue-tied as you yank Yoongi’s blade from your arm, immediately pressing your other hand over the wound to stem the bleeding. The sight of your blood is making Jimin dizzy; the smell of the iron hanging in the air. All he wants to do is choke the life out of the man in front of him, but more than that, he just wants to hold your hand. Wants to comfort you, even though he knows you don’t need it. Not from him, not from anyone, but he still wants to. Wants to press his lips to the sweat at your brow.

And Yoongi can see it, too, because he starts laughing. It’s an odd, fractured noise. Jimin isn’t sure if he’s ever heard him laugh before, decides he also hates the way it sounds. Feels all wrong watching it leave his crooked smirk. Makes Jimin’s stomach plummet to the ground.

“Oh, you’re fucked, aren’t you?” Yoongi teases around Jimin’s slackened grip. “You weren’t just fucking her, you’re in love with her.”

Weird how Jimin is the one with his hands around someone’s neck and feels like he’s the one suffocating.

[ 31.2304° N, 121.4737° E | Shanghai, CHINA ]

Jimin watches the life drain from an innocent woman’s face and feels nothing.

Jimin watches Jungkook cut a man down and feels even less.

When it’s over, he cleans up wordlessly and doesn’t eat for three days.

[ 37.5665° N, 126.9780° E | Seoul, SOUTH KOREA ]

Jimin’s hair has faded to brown by the time he returns from Shanghai.

The more complicated job had gone to you and Taehyung. Jimin had tried not to take it personally. The Russian hits are always unnecessarily violent and Jungkook still isn’t fully trained. There’s still a phantom pain in Jimin’s stomach that warns him of the consequences of taking on more than he can chew. So, sure, Shanghai had gone fine, but his mind had been nearly 7,000 kilometers away the entire time.

Good thing he’d returned to Seoul unscathed, too, because he’s sure Namjoon would’ve eliminated him without a moment’s hesitation if he’d fucked up again.

But Shanghai had only served to prove the leader right. Jimin can’t work with you anymore. Can’t focus, can’t stomach the violence, can’t keep his goddamn head on straight.

He sighs as he glances at Jungkook to his right. Jimin had watched him murder two men in cold blood not even thirty-six hours ago and now he’s doe-eyed and sucking down his third banana milk of the morning. It really makes his head spin, being paired with this grown-up infant of a man now instead of you, but for all of Jungkook’s apparent shortcomings, he’d kept Jimin alive. He isn’t dead.

And then you walk in with Taehyung and he wishes he was.

Because you’re laughing and Taehyung’s got his arm slung around your shoulder and you look happy. It’s the kind of happiness that should be contagious, bloom warmth in his chest, but it doesn’t. It just takes the last frayed strand of hope he has and sets flame to it.

You don’t look like you miss Jimin at all. Don’t look like you’ve lost sleep or skipped meals.

“Didn’t take you long, did it?” Jimin says, because he’s wounded and lashing out. Not because he means it.

You must know he doesn’t, too, because you don’t react. “Watch your mouth, Park Jimin,” Taehyung warns, because he doesn’t know, and this only sets Jimin off more. You don’t need defending. Or had you, and Jimin had simply thought it wasn’t his place to provide it? That you wouldn’t want it?

“Or what, Kim Taehyung?”

Taehyung is cherubic. It’s part of his charm, one of many reasons why he’s so effective. If you’re looking to die, you look for the guy who looks like Yoongi, not the one who smiles wide and warm like Taehyung. So when he sets his jaw and pokes his tongue into his cheek and says, “Or I’ll cut your fucking head off, you stupid fuck,” your attention is finally piqued.

“I’m so sick of this,” Jungkook wails, banana milk tossed carelessly in the trash. “All of you need to get your fucking shit together!”

Taehyung rolls his eyes at the same time you pretend to inspect your nails. “Is that why you’re so temperamental, Chim?” Taehyung prods, looking every bit the pretentious, murderous angel he is. “Because you got sent to China on a babysitting mission while the grownups did real work?”

“Fuck you,” Jungkook snaps, rising to full height. “I’m not a fucking child.”

“Oh? Could’ve fooled me.” Taehyung’s words are razor-sharp and smell like kerosene. “Tell me, then: were you on babysitting duty? Had to look after our precious little Jiminie while he nursed his broken heart?”

You sigh, full of faux-exasperation, and place a gentle hand on Taehyung’s forearm. Dig your nails in just enough to be a warning, and if Jimin hadn’t been looking he’d miss it: the way Taehyung deflates instantly, anger dissipating like smoke, back in control. Just because you’d touched him. Just because you were there. Jimin knows that touch, how it feels to be under your control, and it makes his chest ache. Makes everything feel like it’s sitting wrong in his stomach, and he’s either going to be sick all over Namjoon’s overpriced fucking rug or wrap his hands around Taehyung’s throat the way he’d done to Yoongi.

He’s out of his goddamned mind; he feels untethered. Helpless. Like it was always going to end like this, and maybe Jimin knew that and had just ignored it. Maybe now he’s paying the price—maybe he’s finally found something he can’t afford.

Jungkook’s still going off, nasty gaze set on Taehyung because he’s the only one playing along. They’re exchanging words Jimin can’t make heads nor tails of. Words he doesn’t care about. Words that ring empty and hollow because they sound nothing like the way you say his name. Shapeless, unlike the way your lips move around those syllables.

“Jimin,” you say, the sound finally registering and bringing him back down to earth. All he can do is stare. “Can we talk?” Taehyung and Jungkook are still trading barbs.

Wonders how he got here. Looks around the room and wonders if each and every one of them is destined for this same fate, this madness. Wants to tell you why he forgot his vest, why he was three hours late in Argentina. Wants to grovel and beg and leave this place and never look back.

More than anything, he wants to know what it feels like to actually be human.

So he shakes his head. Tries not to be haunted by the way your face falls at the rejection.

There is a scar on his abdomen and a scar on your arm that both tell the same story. There is a man in the basement who is in love with a man above ground and is too weighed down by guilt to do anything about it. There is a man here who plays god, has soldiers to do his bidding, and there is very little here that Jimin has only for himself.

The two of you will have that conversation, but he needs to be human, first.

[ 34.6901° N, 135.1956° E | Kobe, JAPAN ]

This is a waste of your fucking time.

Whatever Namjoon had thought would be here doesn’t seem to exist. Yoongi can barely tolerate you on a good day, threatens to stick a dagger in your neck at least twice an hour, but the more time the two of you waste chasing ghosts, the closer he comes to unraveling entirely.

“Stop fucking staring at me,” he snaps, blowing the smoke of his cigarette right in your face.

You tut. “But you’re so beautiful, Yoongi, I just can’t help it.”

He digs his switchblade from his boot. Makes a show of flipping it open. “I can cut your fuckin’ eyes out of your skull,” he intones. “Maybe that’ll help.”

In your ear, Jimin’s laughter rings like crystal.

Ricochets off of all the corners of Seokjin’s basement, makes the echo sound warped through the earpiece. “Please tell Yoongi-ssi to keep an eye on the man with the shaved head. In front of him, roughly sixty degrees to his right.”

You relay the message. Watch as Yoongi transforms—sharpened gaze, rigid posture, disappears into the shadows. More apex predator than man. “And me?” you ask.

“Backup,” comes Seokjin’s voice. “We haven’t found your mark yet.”

You hum. Pick up the cigarette Yoongi left behind and stick it between your lips. Smoke it nearly to the filter. “You got it, boss,” you tease, just because it flusters him.

“I’m—that’s not—knock it off.”

Exhale. Stub out the cigarette. Butt in your pocket. “Anything else?”

“Yeah,” Jimin says, and his voice is soft, sounds like spun sugar. “Stay alive, all right?”

Jimin’s hair isn’t dyed at all.

if you've read this far: thank you so, so much! i am more appreciative than i can put into words. this is very different from what i typically write, but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

i would love to hear your thoughts if you have any. <3

[solecize]

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision. despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining, jungkook as a parental figure 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 5.1k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. warnings for foul language, substance use (two characters get crossfaded), and sexually suggestive content (finally lol)

part eight: the final stormㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   previous. next. masterlist

“y/n, have you considered purchasing glasses?” 

  ironically, the question made you narrow your eyes at namjoon, who was mindlessly passing out glasses for the table. some of the boys stifled laughs and you wondered what that was about. you were catching them up on how jungkook has been helping you around the farm - albeit, not recently. every time things seemed to be all right, there was an almost kiss that was followed by someone taking distance. the first time, it was jungkook. now, it was you.

  “what are you talking about?” you asked, just as jungkook walked through the front doors of the saloon.

  it was a holiday, so everyone decided to take the day off and hoseok closed up the pub from the public. that left you and your friends to claim the saloon as your hangout spot for the night. unlike everyone else, you still had things to take care of, having got up early and tended to the livestock. even though you did cut your day short, finishing up by lunch-time, you were tired from the preceding seven day work week. it was about time you had a drink.

  jungkook gave a small wave to everyone and sat himself in between seokjin and jimin, across from you. “sorry, i’m late. i was dropping jiwon at mrs. oh’s and she forgot her ipad,” he said.

  “we haven’t sat down and drank in a while with all of us, it’s nice that we’re all here,” remarked namjoon, apparently brushing off your previous question.

  some time had passed since the everyone in the group was able to hang out together, the last time being movie night at taehyung’s house. therefore, some time had passed since things got weird between you and jungkook. you wouldn’t call the first incident during breakfast-dinner an “almost kiss,” since you weren’t even sure if jungkook wanted to kiss you or it was all in your head. as for the night of jiwon’s disappearance, that was definitely more of a kiss than the other, but you dismissed it as something done in the heat of a vulnerable moment. given the conflicting suggestions from those around you, you had decided to take it easy and let him have his distance.

  apparently, jungkook did not like that and you were about to learn this.

  you crinkled your nose at the shots being poured. “i haven’t played a drinking game in so long.”

  hoseok, who was doing the honours, shook his head. “it’s okay, you definitely won’t lose. jimin is a lightweight,” he grinned, but jimin didn’t look the slightest bit fazed.

  “i’m not embarrassed. getting drunk faster means i spend less money,” jimin countered, which you thought was actually a good point.

  beside you, taehyung slid over a shot glass closer to you, since hoseok was at the other end of the table. you thanked him casually, but you swore you noticed jungkook’s eyes trained on the interaction. you wanted to scoff, since this was exactly what he was encouraging with taehyung, despite the fact that he was the individual in your friend group that you talked the least to. that was the most baffling part.

  “y/n can definitely drink. you had, like, four bottles to yourself last week,” seokjin commented.

  that immediately got jungkook’s attention. “last week?” he asked, voice an octave too high to be dismissed as a casual question.

  “yeah,” answered taehyung. “a few of us got dinner last week. i think you said no one could watch jiwon.” 

  “why, would you have changed your mind if you knew y/n was going to be th - “ yoongi started, but was cut off by two sharp elbow jabs from both sides, courtesy of namjoon and seokjin.

  on the other hand, you only accepted the invite because they mentioned jungkook couldn’t make it. it was to the same tune of you leaving book club early when jungkook made the meeting thirty minutes late or you helping namjoon with preparations for the midsummer fair only during jungkook’s working hours. you also avoided the general store for any errands, leaving you with a broken mop that couldn’t be replaced because of you staying away from him. 

  when jungkook got up to take a phone call, jimin poked you. “jungkook told me he thinks you’re avoiding him.” his voice was low, leaving the conversation to only be heard between the two of you.

  “huh? oh, yeah, i am.”

  the way his mouth dropped made you want to laugh. “what? why?”

  “i need to sort myself out. he should also,” you answered, shrugging. it looked like jimin wanted to ask more, but jungkook returned and the talk ceased.

  yoongi brought playing cards and the eight of you began a random game, which he explained the rules for. although the bar was empty, save for your group, voices filled the establishment to the brim. music flowed in the background amidst the way conversation did and it only grew with the more soju being poured. you did make a mental note to find some female friends in town, though, having to chastise some of the boys for jokes that they could have been cancelled for. 

  eventually, you had quite a few drinks, despite never being on the losing end for any of the games, which would usually call for the player to do so. at some point, a glass of water magically appeared in front of you. you turned to see that it was who jungkook had gotten up from his seat, now putting the pitcher of water back behind the bar. 

  the conversation moved to talking about the midsummer festival, which only grew rowdy once drinks were poured.

  “i bet you fifty bucks that you won’t find a date.” it was yoongi who sung the dare to jimin, who immediately accepted the challenge. 

  namjoon sighed, as he dealt cards across the table. “or you guys can be productive members of society and help me out by running a booth.”

  “oh! what booth do you need help with?” seokjin asked, slowly and a little too rehearsed. you looked at him oddly, wondering why he was talking like that and why he was side-eying namjoon the whole time. 

  namjoon sighed deeply at seokjin, eyes wide like he was about to slap him. “the kissing booth,” he answered, through gritted teeth, and you could catch the boys snickering at the scene. 

  again, with a mischievous glint in his eye, yoongi spoke up. “oh? y/n, you should do it. everyone in town thinks you’re a beauty.”

  you opened your mouth to respond, but was interrupted.

  “yeah, if you want to get sick,” jungkook instantly cut in, out of nowhere. “do you know how many germs a kissing booth will spread? hyung, don’t you think it’s a bit irresponsible to hold one?” it was like he couldn’t stop talking, despite the fact that he’d been silent for the last little while and suddenly had a burst of passion about kissing booths.

  the debate continued on, as hoseok poured yet another round of shots for the eight of you. you only really listened on, mostly confused because this was the first you heard of this idea. while helping namjoon and mayor kim with the festival preparations, there was not a single mention of a kissing booth in the plans. you narrowed your eyes at namjoon, who gave you a random thumbs up under the table.

  meanwhile, jungkook had yet to directly interact with you since the night started. you could understand why and the more you had to drink, the more you wanted to clear the air without holding back. there had yet to be an opportunity, though.

  “i’m going out for a smoke,” announced jungkook after just under three hours passed. 

  the alcohol in your system spoke for you before you even realized. “i’ll come.” 

  “no, it’s bad for you,” jungkook shot back in a heartbeat, eyebrows raised at your response. “you don’t smoke.” he waved something cylindrical in his hand, shiny and metallic. you made it out to be a grinder.

  to your side, seokjin pouted. “but, we were winning the game!” the two of you claimed victory for the past three rounds in a row, partaking in a game for partners and the eight of you evening things out for teams. 

  your competitive side definitely came out during the drinking, even despite being under the influence. it maybe had something to do with the fact that jungkook immediately claimed taehyung as his partner earlier, nearly jumping out of his seat when he did so. when you asked him why he was so hasty, jungkook replied that it was because he was ready to beat you and taehyung was the best at the game after himself.

  “are you guys going to talk now? i’m tired of the tension,” yoongi pleaded, but was hushed by taehyung and wasn’t heard by either you or jungkook.

  taehyung cleared his throat. “it’s okay, i’ll be your partner, jin hyung.” he rubbed his temples, looking at you and jungkook. “you guys can join in the next round.”

  “i smoke,” you insisted to jungkook. this wasn’t entirely false, as it was something you gravitated towards in social settings only. with a few drinks in your system, this was a likely time for you to accept a joint, whether it was with jungkook or not.

  jungkook cocked an eyebrow at you. “fine. you can roll then,” he said, as if testing you.

  evidently, you ended up failing the test and jungkook finally found the one thing you weren’t good at.

  outside and through the back door of the saloon, you and jungkook were propped up on some large boulders. like it always was, the stars were out and twinkling in a mesmerizing fashion. in your tipsy state, they were way too bright. meanwhile, across from where you sat, jungkook was watching you struggle with the rolling papers in between your fingers. he snickered to himself, taking a sip of the beer that he brought with him.

  the blistering and sweltering of the summer air called for clothing that didn’t suffocate you, but you felt naked under jungkook’s gaze. you wore a mustard yellow tube top and men’s basketball shorts, a pair that you stole from your ex, while your hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. your legs swung back and forth, your feet not even close to touching the ground while sitting on the boulder, and you were wearing flip flops from the general store.

  “when i met you at the funeral again, you were wearing high heels and satin,” jungkook randomly commented, the alcohol failing to conceal his once over of your appearance. “even on your first day, you were wearing platforms.”

  you were certainly blushing from his stare, but the nightfall concealed the red of your bashfulness. “i guess the last two months changed me already.” you didn’t realize that jungkook remembered such details long after the fact.

  he took a swig from his bottle. “don’t get me wrong. i like you both ways,” jungkook offered and the redness on your cheeks spread to the rest of your face. 

  you didn’t want to push him and ask what he meant by that. he was certainly right, though, your time in amber valley was already drastically affecting you. yet, it was easy to miss, especially after you finally found the right tune to your routine. though your new life was hard work, you’d never felt so easygoing and waking up never felt like a chore. when your backyard was beautiful fields, sunflowers grew in front of your house and your best friends were your stubborn chickens, life was no longer one of stressful hustle.

  jungkook made you break away from your thoughts, speaking up again to cut the silence. “you know, anytime before i turn forty would be nice.”

  you furrowed your eyebrows and then realized he was gesturing to the papers and his grinder in your lap, remembering the task you had at hand. “oh, sorry. forgot what i was doing,” you responded.

  he chuckled and you nearly trembled when he hopped off his boulder, strolling towards you. before you knew it, jungkook stood right in front of you, so close you could bump head. he swiped the materials from your lap - just barely brushing his hands on your legs. this time, unlike the moment you shared at dinner, something told you that jungkook knew what he was doing because he looked immediately up at you when he did so. 

  when jungkook didn’t move, it was your turn to break the silence and admittedly, it took all your strength. “you’ve had a couple drinks. you want to smoke later?” you suggested, finding the bravery to look right back at him through your eyelashes. 

  he stuck out his bottom lip and shook his head, as if to say it was no big deal. instead of going back to his previous sitting space, jungkook leaned on the tree just a few feet away from you and set his bottle on your side. 

  “we have the day off, relax a bit,” he said breezily, raising the papers to his mouth and applied the tiniest bit of moisture from his lips. you recalled the way they looked in your recurring dreams and suddenly found the ground the most interesting thing in the world.

  you replied, “i am relaxed,” and took his bottle from beside you, taking a gulp. 

  you felt his eyes burning into you and as the alcohol went down your throat, the sensation felt less and less hot. instead, you were inclined to meet his eyes again and when you did, you saw that your suspicions were correct. jungkook was still looking right at you.

  the distraction pulled your attention away with what jungkook was fumbling around with in his hands and before your very eyes, he held up perfectly neat joint between his thumb and index. it took a grand total over less than two minutes.

  “done,” jungkook announced, as he began feeling his pockets for a lighter.

  you gaped. “that was insanely fast.”

  he snorted. “i shouldn’t have asked you. pretty girls have men rolling for them all the time, why am i surprised that you couldn’t do it?” it sounded like jungkook was teasing you, but his expression remained serious. 

  “jeon jungkook, you’ve been talking a lot tonight,” you voiced, mindlessly playing with your hair. 

  you weren’t sure if your words were ones of warning or encouragement, since the only thing you could focus on was how jungkook just called you pretty. meanwhile, it was hard to resist taking another sip of jungkook’s drink, hoping it would ease your heart rate. you did so, taking a larger gulp than before, and you noticed the way he frowned when watching you.

  “have i?” jungkook questioned, putting the joint between his lips and clicked his lighter, bringing it close to his face and letting the tip turn a deep orange. sterling smoke filled your surroundings, but he was clear as day. 

  you nodded slowly. “more than usual. and that’s with that big mouth of yours,” you added, hoping that cracking a joke would make you at ease.

  it didn’t. jungkook’s lips did tug into a smile, but you were more distracted with the way that he looked blowing out clouds of smoke - honestly, he was pretty. his lips were pretty and his heavy lids were pretty. the way he voice grew raspy as the night went on and more so when he smoked was pretty.

  you realized that you were staring now too and only realized when jungkook gently took his bottle away from your grip. he sighed, placing it on the ground to pick up later. 

  “and you haven’t talked much. that means you shouldn’t have more of this,” he asserted, even despite your whines of objection. “when your big mouth is quiet, that’s trouble. you have something on your mind?” 

  “then pass the joint,” you said, folding your arms across your chest. 

  jungkook immediately burst out laughing, which annoyed you. “absolutely not. you’re drunk and you couldn’t roll, so that means you don’t need to get high.”

  you pouted, which was extremely out of character for you and made jungkook laugh even more. “what? no.”

  “i’m the one who’s going to be walking you home safe, so i’d like to do it with a peace of mind, thanks,” he said, tilting his head slightly as he examined the state you were in. 

  it never occurred to you to ask any of the boys to make sure that you could get home safely and no one offered. you were confident that you could make it home just fine, but didn’t realize that jungkook had already made it his responsibility to look after you.

  “you know,” you began, “you used to always throw a fit when your mom asked you to walk me home.”

  that was one of your most vivid memories from your childhood in amber valley. even though jungkook was technically younger than you, it was his job to be by your side. it was one of the things that you got teased about back then, mostly by jimin in his devilish phase.

  “you used to get pissed off, but you walked me home every time. i feel like when i look back, i can remember so much of us just walking or riding our horses as kids. i don’t really remember where we were going or what we were up to - only you were always by my side.”

  jungkook looked down, kicking a rock. “safe to say i’ve never had a friend like you?” he hesitated.

  it seemed like every time someone uttered the “f” word, the tension thickened like molasses. it was like a rapid game of table tennis, the way the two of you bounced the word back and forth at each other, hoping the other person would finally give up. at this moment, you and jungkook both looked like you were ready to wave the white flag. 

  but, of course, you were both too competitive to lose. 

  shoving your feelings away, you hopped off the boulder and made steps towards jungkook. he instinctively straightened, no longer leaning on the tree when he watched you approach. instead, he peered down at you, a questioning look glimmering in his eyes. 

  “let me have some,” you demanded, pointing at his hand. “i didn’t come outside just to chat with you.”

  “oh, you didn’t?” jungkook countered, as if you were lying through your teeth and he knew it. “you didn’t come outside to be with me?”

  the words he spoke were sharp and challenged you. you weren’t even sure how to grasp them and by jungkook’s silence, neither did he. he paused for a moment, as if pondering his choices. your feet were planted in the ground, as it was your turn to stand inches away from him and used this to show you weren’t afraid of his challenge. 

  eventually, jungkook chuckled in disbelief. without moving, he brought the lighter to the joint once more, ensuring it was lit. he leaned back into the tree and you were about to object, thinking he was going to refuse your request again. then, instead of handing the joint to you, jungkook turned it around and used his other hand to pull you closer by the arm. you stumbled ahead, nearly chest to chest with jungkook.

  “here,” jungkook said and you were confused.

  he held the joint up, licking his lips and didn’t move. you realized he was holding it for you. jungkook even moved strands of hair from the front of your face and you knew he saw you shiver. as soon as you saw what he waa doing, without missing a beat, you leaned in ever so slightly and looked right up at him when you did. you closed your lips around the tip, the sensation filling your lungs, and he watched you intently. as you inhaled, you found yourself leaning even further into his touch, legs now touching.

  nobody moved when you finished and you coughed gently in the other direction after exhaling. he playfully patted your back, as you let it out. you took one more inhale and then, he brought it back to his own lips.

  “good girl,” he murmured and your mouth went dry, which was definitely not a result of the weed. 

  when you composed yourself, you were aware of how close you two were now standing to each other. it felt like another challenge, to see who would move first. neither of you lost, unlike last time. 

  “you’ve been avoiding me,” you finally blurted out, but jungkook didn’t seem to mind. in fact, his expression remained blank and unreadable, which was driving you crazy.

  jungkook responded, “you mean you’ve been avoiding me?” his voice was lower and neared a whisper of a volume.

  “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “and i don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shot back, before sighing and looking down at his feet. “maybe i have been talking too much tonight, bunny.” his voice dialed back on intensity. 

  you raised an eyebrow at jungkook. “why, are you holding something back?” the substances in your body were directing you like a puppet, but it was all thoughts and feelings that you’d held captive in your mind for weeks, being released at once. 

  “you’re making this so difficult,” jungkook grunted, gently pushing you away now, but you didn’t move. “i’m not doing this while you’re drunk.”

  “doing what?” you pressed his statements further and stepped closer again. “i’m drunk, but i know what i’m doing.”

  jungkook gritted his teeth and instead of responding, he slowly bent down and picked the beer bottle up from the ground. swishing it around slightly, he finished the rest of the liquid in one gulp. you didn’t miss the way he didn’t step back, still at the same proximity and refused to be the first one to move. you also refused, for once. 

  though you didn't have much to smoke, the high was settling into your muscles and you felt heavier than usual. jungkook gave you a once over again and observed this. he pressed his lips together and came even closer, wrapping his large hand around your wrist.

  he carefully tugged you towards the back door. “come on. time to go.”

  “no.”

  jungkook pretended to not hear you. “let’s go, you need to sit down.” yet somehow, his tone was unconvincing and his grip lacked intention. it was as if really was he was holding something back. 

  “why did you tell me to ask taehyung out? are you a child?” you were relentless, commanding questions left and right. you even stared right at him, as the alcohol and weed washed away any anxiety pooling in your stomach.

  his jaw visibly clenched. “you’re always so stubborn, you know?” jungkook didn’t sound angry or exasperated, but more so amazed at the attitude you kept up like a brick wall. even he had trouble in your opposition. 

  “and don’t start with me about avoiding you, i was just taking a page out of the jeon jungkook handbook of communication,” you snapped, letting his question through in one ear and out the other.

  “oh, give me a break - “

  “no, now would be a great time to explain yourself,” you demanded.

  jungkook clenched his jaw, before taking another drag of his joint and promptly put it out against the tree. even though you felt nothing but frustration run through your veins, it was damning that he looked so good. you were used to his cheery attitude and playfulness, but something about seeing him so serious made your heart jump in different ways.

  he finally spoke, “i was trying to give you space at first because you have a lot going on. you’re running the farm all by yourself, you live alone - “

  “i’m a grown adult, jungkook! we aren’t kids anymore, you don’t have to protect me!” you cried, voice cracking slightly and when he didn’t answer, you continued. “why are you creating distance between us? do you know how happy i was to have you back in my life after so long?” 

  quietly, he replied, “i was, too.”

  “why are we ignoring what happened at the farmhouse? twice, actually?” you asked, exasperated. “is it because you have jiwon? or, am i imagining things and this is all in my head?”

  “stop asking a million questions a minute.”

  when jungkook’s voice dropped below a whisper, it snapped you back into the reality in front of you, where his face was inches away from yours.

  dreams of you kissing jungkook then flashed before your eyes. the haunting, yet sacchrine images that had been following you around for days clutched onto the confusing emotions that had been following you for the past month and a half. it was clearer now that the gap between the two of you drew smaller and smaller as the conversation went on. it was now at the point where your noses were nearly touching.

  “i tried to fight it, every time it got too close. but, last time - “

  “last time, you were vulnerable. it would have felt wrong if i. . . “ you trailed off, not daring to finish the sentence. the both of you knew what would have happened if you didn’t pull away during your last night together.

  when no one said anything or moved even an inch, jungkook spoke once more. his eyes fell to your lips and this time, he didn’t hide it. they remained fixated until he opened his mouth.

  “i dare you,” was all jungkook said.

  in your twenty five years of living, you never, ever, not once lost a dare to jeon jungkook. the dare in question needed no verbalization for the two of you to understand. the understanding was crystal clear - it was in the way jungkook’s grip on your wrist somehow turned into a gentle hold of your hand, in the way that he counted the amount of times you bit your lip and it was in the way that nobody wanted to move. the dare sounded playful aloud, but was sharp and impatient. 

  today was not the day you were going to lose for the first time. 

  closing the distance between your lips and jungkook’s felt like a slow motion reel, like the entire world braked its rotation just for the two of you. it was as if you could hear each flap of a butterfly’s wings and each leaf on the branches above you rustling in the sticky, summer breeze. there was very little space left between you and jungkook at this point, but the leap to meet his lips you took felt centuries long. 

  jungkook’s lips were as soft as they looked and his clasp in your hand never loosened, only accompanied by his other arm locking around your waist. you could’ve sworn you heard the clatter of the beer bottle drop against the dirt beneath your feet, but your ears were ringing too loud to be sure. he took you by the waist, enveloping you and pulling you as close as he could, deepening the kiss. 

  instantly, like being shocked by electricity, you brought your arms around jungkook’s neck and balanced yourself as high as you could on your tippy toes. you swiped your tongue against his lip piercing. the kiss was hungry and lacked any sense of patience. he moaned softly and his other arm finally dropped your hand, only to bring it around your waist to join the other. he lifted you slightly in your kiss, noticing that you struggled to meet his height, and you giggled into the kiss. 

  jungkook also laughed against your lips and you thought it was finally breaking the tension of the moment. you were proven wrong by yourself, your own body betraying you when you began running your fingers through the hair on the back of his head without even realizing it. jungkook moaned again, louder, at the sensation of you pulling at the strands and bit your bottom lip in response. 

  “shit, you sure you want to do that?” he warned against your lips, but you were distracted by the way his raspy voice lit all your sensations on fire and you slipped your tongue into the kiss.

  the two of you could have been lost in each other’s lips for hours - you wouldn’t be able to tell, completely lost. you stumbled briefly when jungkook led you to turn around and switch with your back against the tree, but he steadied you immediately and held most of your weight without breaking the kiss. he pressed you closer against the tree, now slowing down. 

  jungkook still had his arms around your body, protecting your bare back from the bark and from tripping before anything. now, though, the kiss was no longer hungry, but still intense as if the two of you continued to drown yourselves in each other’s touch. your lips moved against him slowly, savouring each second. this is when you truly lost track of time.

  nobody was going to pull away, even though you could hear jungkook’s phone going off with texts. the only thing that worked was the pattering of raindrops on your head. you ignored it at first and they lessened when jungkook put a hand above your head to protect you. except, the rain only intensified and the two of you needed to catch your breath.

  you swore your lips were tingling when you pulled away. jungkook barely moved, forehead to forehead to you. you met his eyes and despite the cold of the rain, his gaze warmed you. the two of you panted in unison, no words needed to say.

  “we keep finding ourselves in the rain,” jungkook managed to whisper in between breaths. 

  you jumped at the aggressive clap of thunder in the distance, the sky flashing for a moment. this was what snapped you out of your daze, unable to shake off the feeling of jungkook’s lips and body against your own. when you jumped, he wrapped his arms tighter against you, protectively. before you let him pull you away back indoors, there was one more thing you had to say.

  “i win.”

  the kiss you shared with jungkook was ingrained in your memory and there was no chance of you wiping it away, even if you had a few drinks that night. the kiss jolted you cold sober, more alert than you could ever be. the kiss was stretching your muscles after a long drive. it was what both of you had been holding back for the longest time and you didn’t even know it, until your fingers were tangled in his hair and his strong arms gripped your waist like his life depended on it.

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @sstrongstyle @wobblewobble822 @taiwan0618 @seokout @firelcrds @xwniazx @shellyyy177 @myseokjinji

[wonderfuldeath]

.o| Bad Temptation : VI |o.

Warnings : Violence, injury, graphic depictions, sex

Please, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi ! ♥

Taehyung broke out in a cold sweat, his heart was racing and he had the painful feeling that his head was about to burst. Sick was an understatement, he felt like the world was spinning, thirsty or hungry all the time, he couldn't be coherent and spent long hours asleep, no one had ever spoken secondary defeats about mark erasing potions, Elyzabeth hadn't warned him. He felt almost on his deathbed, as if he wouldn't be able to wake up the next day, Taehyung was afraid to fall asleep, he was only dreaming, again and again of the child vampire, attacking him without scruples, reveling in his nectar with a snide laugh, it terrified him, made his stomach hurt even more.

“- Miss Elyzabeth.

- You were right to call me Choi-Mi.”

The powder-coated woman's cool hands feel so good when she rests them on his forehead and cheeks, certainly burning with an inexplicable fever. He was fine the day before, or maybe it was two days ago, but he can't remember exactly. Taehyung nauseated, turning his head to try and get into a more comfortable position, Elyzabeth took off her coat, searching her thick grimoire for any explanation to this unusual problem. To tell the truth, no one had ever had such a severe reaction to this type of potion, and she didn't know much about medicine. Elyzabeth pursed her lips, searching again and again, before simply closing it a little abruptly, a sound of surprise passing her lips as the realization hit her.

“- Choi-Mi, call Jeon Jungkook.

- But miss…

- Do it. Call him. Warn him of his condition.”

Elyzabeth had never been so serious, going into her friend's kitchen already ready to take action if the vampire couldn't move, and the zombie trying to get things done as quickly as possible, explaining Taehyung's problem in her weary voice, without really going into detail, so as not to put him in an unpleasant situation. At least not any more than he is now. It didn't take long for Jungkook to arrive; he'd obviously left everything behind to come and see the sick, frankly worried man, and the magic worked without any of the sorcerers facing up to anything. Taehyung's complexion returns to normal, just as he enters the room, and the witch frowns, her doubtful look slowly transforming into a rather angry one, and she points at him with her accusing fingers.

“- So it's true. You. You marked a human?

- Don't act as if I really could.

- Do you realize what this means? We were told to be careful.

- Careful I was. As far as I know, I'm not doing anything illegal, unlike some people here.”

The vampire's eyes turn bright red, but this doesn't even faze the witch, who pinches her lower lip, crosses her arms over her chest, wrinkles her nose like a little girl caught in the act, but says nothing. She fiddles with her hair, staring into space, before sighing deeply, shrugging her shoulders in defeat.

“- I can't predict what's going to happen now, the stars are blurred. But know this: if anything happens to her…

- Don't. If anything were to happen, I wouldn't recover anyway.

- Let me know if he gets worse again.”

The witch hesitated at the door, before leaving the apartment, running a hand through her powdered hair, and disappearing behind the big wooden door, thousands of questions running through her head. It was dangerous, and neither of them had ever had the need to hybridize, something was wrong, like her divination hadn't been working so well for nearly two weeks, and the fear of old prophecies could be heard in the depths of her thoughts, but she tried to keep them to herself.

“- How are you feeling?

- .. Jungkook?

- Yes, I'm here. I'm here.”

His fingers sound infinitely tender as he caresses Taehyung's cheek, and he sighs with well-being. He closes his eyes, reassured that he's not alone, the feeling of dying seems to have disappeared and now he simply feels like a fish out of a bowl, he's mainly thirsty, but his body refuses to make the slightest movement, he no longer has this strange shyness for the vampire, he just wants to continue feeling this sense of well-being. Jungkook seems to understand without speaking, so he doesn't ask the still worried zombie to bring back the drink, simply checking the fridge for fresh water, before moving to the smaller bed. The water does Taehyung's dry throat a world of good, and he thanks him with his childish, still-tired expression.

“- You can go back to sleep, I'm not moving from here.

- .. No.. I don't want to sleep.

- Why not?

- When I sleep, I have dreams or you are violent with me. But not in a pleasant way.

- I would never do anything to you that you didn't want to do. Never.”

Taehyung feels reassured, but not completely. Yet his whole body is crying out for rest, so he grants it, closes his eyes and snuggles up against the vampire's icy body, who returns the gentle embrace. No strange or terrifying dreams come to spoil his sleep now.

-x-

“- Where's Jungkook?”

The five heads turn to each other, all around the table, looking for an answer to this out-of-the-blue question, but the black chair at the end of the table with the blood-red diamond above its head is empty. The silence is heavy, everyone glaring at each other, while Namjoon gasps slightly at the unanswered question, before continuing to speak.

“- Well, as he's the one requesting the meeting, I don't see much point in having it here.

- Did he say it was an emergency, or did he go off and sort it out on his own?

- Or he had a problem with his human.”

A light laugh passes the demon's lips, his eyes glowing black, resembling ink, while the white stone above his head gleams brilliantly white. They all turn their heads towards the demon, who smirks.

“- Don't be like that, everyone knows that Jungkook reeks of human.

- It's true that lately, Sir always seems to be close to this little human. Taehyung?

- You must know him Yoongi, your little wizard's circling like a bug.”

The cold wave silences the mockery in the older man's voice, and the pink crystal above his head shines in a less oppressive glow, the ghoul leader looking grumpy as he crosses his arms, now looking sulky as a three-and-a-half-year-old. Yoongi pierces him with his cold gaze, as if he wants to tear his eyes out, but the silence remains heavy. Yoongi crosses his arms against his chest, as he now decides to sulk too.

“- For him to smell so bad, there must be something.

- Marking?

- I don't see why not.

- On a human?

- Then it's no longer a problem. But a danger.”

Everyone looked at each other, their faces hardening as they stared at the first seat, the one that looked down on them all, the one with the seven crystals together, empty for centuries following an incident of this kind. Everyone remained silent, staring at their fingers, or at the dark floor of the meeting room, no one wanting to talk about it, like their ancestors before them. It was a long-guarded secret, passed down from family to family, no one ever spoke of it, a taboo that only the crazy old lady of the forest told without shame. The great families had been tarnished, enough to lose two seats rendered now pale and withered crystals.

“- Let's hope he knows what he's doing. So he doesn't have to take measures as regrettable as those taken a thousand years ago.”

[alottamoney]

With all the awkwardness either in their behavior or in the way they are framed by the editors and you'd still catch them talking so privately abt things only them know about, not even the members can be involved in those convos, like in that "fire water" live where they brought up jk not resting enough/working late or smth like that, jin and hope continued with the live but tae and kook suddenly started their own convo in hushed voices...like something only between them. Another exp where they were drinking champagne and all of them immersed in their convo but jk suddenly goes out of his way to fill up tae's glass while no one noticed he didn't have any champagne left and not even tae said smth abt it like..jk is so in tune with him that he noticed while talking, got into action and everyone else thought he was making a toast, everyone else but taehyung ofc who didn't even seem fazed.

Like too much for being awkward 🙃 if being awkward, grant me someone who's so attentive to me, and we can talk abt things privately/ intimately that no one is privy to, then yeah I want that awkwardness.

I think what's happening is that jk and tae don't know how to behave with eo in front of cam when there's only the two of them to entertain us. they are so used to idk behaving more than friends off camera that the switch is difficult no matter how professional they can be, especially for jk, who can be an open book at times, so that leads to them not knowing how to act and then the so said awkwardness. At least, that's my opinion and the only explanation I came up with.

Yeah, when I say awkward, I usually mean when it's just the two of them and there's no buffer, I guess lol.

[btscontentenjoyer]

What a great start to a series! There's so many things I can't wait to see more of, actually basically every aspect of this story I can't wait to see more of!

"Once the scene is over, so is the emotion; you’re able to let go of it right away with one breath. You’re good at that, you think - holding onto something for as long as it’s yours, and then letting it go when it no longer is."

The way you describe both OC and Yoongi's jobs in detail is so fascinating to me and I can't wait to learn more. I'm not really into sports and I know so little about the film industry but all of the more in depth details make the story feel so fleshed out and immersive. I also love how from the beginning the way they feel about their jobs reveals so much about their personalities.

“Yeah, yet I’m the one hustling it out as a college coach while they’re playing pro,” the younger man huffs."

There's also definitely some inner and outer conflict to be had with the way OC is following and achieving her dreams while Yoongi is settling for something that feels a little less than. It definitely feels like it could fuel Yoongi's thoughts about how he's almost not good enough for OC with the way he felt about her dating Jungkook or Seokjin, disliking the thought of it, but still thinking it made sense because they were 'more successful' than him and therefore more on her level and worthy of being with her.

“If they were invading your personal space then that’s not right,” he says, his tone so serious you mistake it for worry. “Did they touch you or anything?”

"You learned long ago that he has this amazing ability to do that - make people around them feel calm. There’s something so reassuring about him that remarks about your past don’t faze him, and now that’s rubbing off on you, as you feel the awkwardness slowly melt away."

“And you? Are you okay?” He asks, sincerity laced in his low voice."

"He doesn’t know if he’s still someone you find comfort in and he doesn’t know if you even want to spend time with him after all these years, but he doesn’t have the heart to just let you walk out of here not knowing if you’re truly okay."

Yoongi is so sweet and caring and comforting in just the right ways, I love him already 🥺🥺🥺 I love seeing him portrayed like this- caring and protective in a quiet but firm way, always a calm and comforting presence.

"You don’t want to think that Hoseok means someone else because it would mean that for all the times you questioned if everything you gave up to chase your dream was worth it, then he knew it was because of the man who broke your heart 6 years ago. You don’t want to think that all these years, Hoseok knew that your buzz-worthy dating life, whose aftermath he always had to manage, was just your futile attempt at getting over the first and only man you ever loved."

The amount of times OC tells herself and everyone around her that she is good at moving on starts to sound like she's mostly saying it just to convince herself that it's true. All of the relationships she's gotten in and out of are also a way to prove to herself not only that she can move on, but also that she can handle heartbreak and breakups now right? One of the first things we even learn about her is that she thinks that she can easily let go of things that are no longer hers! But with the way that she reacts to actually interacting with Yoongi, we see that it's definitely not so true. I feel like she still has a way to go before she fully admits that to herself though and it will be an interesting journey to witness, I'm sure.

"Right, there’s that, Taehyung frowns. Your family’s too complicated that you insist you don’t want him to get sucked into the drama, hence why you don’t want him to go with you. But between that and the possibility of seeing your ex, he could only hope that during this trip, you won’t get your heart broken too early, too quickly, or too hard."

“Oh sweetie, I never will. I don’t leave people that I love,” Garam responds, glancing at you to make a statement."

"You zone out after that, not wanting to engage with your sisters anymore. You play with their kids, though, who get excited when they see you on TV. You don’t want to treat them like you hold a grudge against them even if you do so with their mothers. Your sisters continue to do that with you - resent you when it’s your mom they’re really angry at for leaving your already unhappy family after she got her dream job in Paris. You were never angry though but you did sort of follow in her footsteps, and your sisters hated you even more because of that."

"Things weren’t going well with your parents for a while, giving your mom more reason to leave, but you always wished that he had done more for you to feel loved in the home that started to become toxic after it fell apart, but you suppose he was just trying to heal his own broken heart after his wife left. It felt like your sisters weren’t going to forgive you when you decided to leave yourself, and he just let you walk away without making sure you knew he still loved you despite your decision."

The situation with OC's family is very tense and complex. I'm looking forward to seeing more of how that will turn out. There's definitely a comparison to be made with the way Yoongi supported her leaving and still does, even at the cost of their relationship ending, and her sisters disliking her for it. I know it has to do with the way they feel about their mom too though. And the way her dad isn't doing much to defend or support her either... it's all very sad.

"Jin sits next to you and cups your face in his hands. “I… love you. The way a dear friend who dreamed with you and who gets to live that out with you does. We all love you. We’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

“Always, you stubborn woman. I’m the one person who’ll never leave you even if you push me away.”

"You don’t have the heart to disagree. This man has been your best friend for a decade and he knows how you are, knows which pains of yours you’re willing to talk about and which ones you’d rather hide away. Your acting skills may be good but you know that Taehyung can see behind all the smiles and the detachment and the effort to look okay, and whatever it is he’s thinking, there’s a good chance he might be right. You’ve just never been brave enough to admit them."

"A man briefly exits, and you stop near the front, wanting to just take it in. He’s got more gray hair now and walks a little slower but he looks just like you remembered - soft crinkled eyes, comforting smile, a look that you know all too well. You decide to enter, as you’re desperate for something - anything - that feels more like home than the one you just came from."

All of the support OC gets from her friends, from Tae's family and even from Yoongi's dad 🥺🥺🥺 It made me feel so soft and warm inside. Just goes to show that you can always find love and support even when your family isn't giving that to you. And that's a very comforting thought indeed.

"All three of you say goodbye to your friends, all of whom give you smug looks, passing up on the teasing now given Yoongi’s displeased face after someone remarks that “mom and dad are taking care of their kid again.” This isn’t a new scene for them, either. Taehyung just tends to have a lot of genuine fun when he’s with his friends; it’s something you relate with after being in the industry you’re in."

I also love all of their friends and even the parents giving them knowing looks and making comments about them. And Yoongi's dad leaving the two of them alone at the shop too. It's all very sweet and funny.

"But you found out the hard way that losing someone means you lose the parts of you that you’d adopted because of them, that you fall out of love with the things you used to love because of them."

There's always quotes like this one your stories, that voice something I had never thought about before and yet I recognize so well and know that I've felt it before. It's amazing every time.

"You turn to him, about to say your thanks, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat. You recall being a giddy mess the very first time you saw him, with nibbled lips and palpitating heart as you watched him shoot baskets and dribble the ball like no one’s business, and you’d been a goner since then. But he was a lot thinner during that time. His hair was cut short and his eyes had this sharp, confident gaze that usually intimidated people. You eventually saw how they softened only for you, though, but you’ll always remember that summer and how he had you wanting him at first glance."

"He’s not used to it. He remembers the way your eyes used to gaze at him constantly, how your smile and laughter were all cheeky and flirty, how the tone of your voice was always so confident, so charming. He thinks that maybe like him, you’re just as surprised and unsure about seeing each other after so long. He doesn’t know what to make of things beyond that."

All of the flashbacks and memories of how they used to be are so sweet. They really make me sympathise with the two of them by making me miss a relationship I didn't even have 🥺🥺🥺

"He could hear the sound of your laughter from across the gymnasium, as if the way the dulcet tone of your voice used to send shivers down his spine whenever you giggled in his ears was just yesterday. He shakes off the goosebumps he feels and tries to sit comfortably on the chair."

"What does he say to the woman he broke up with 6 years ago? Maybe he can say something about your recently concluded series. He thought it was really good. Is it weird to ask what your next project is? Perhaps. You probably can’t even tell him. How was it like being the leading lady this time? Fuck, he’s not a talk show host or anything like that."

Aaaaah the painful pining, not knowing exactly what to say and fumbling for words that comes with it all! You do it so well here, even if they try to hide it from everyone else, their internal monologues convey it so well.

"He’s here. With you. Looking at you in a way you’re very unfamiliar with - with a calmness in his eyes and a hint of care and acceptance, as if he’s glad you’re here but that he’s well aware of the years between you, of the years that passed by, of the years that changed you both."

"He wonders if you saw past him, past his nonchalance and calm demeanor. You were always so good at that - knowing there was more behind his passiveness, knowing how to get a reaction from him, knowing which buttons to push so he’d open up and let you in."

"Yoongi always wondered what parts of you remained the same and which parts didn’t."

This is the main thing I love about exes to lovers stories! The way they know each other so well, can read each other's faces and nonverbal cues, etc. And yet time has passed, they've changed and they're left wondering if they still truly know each other enough.

"It was like that with every person. Except one. Your friends don’t know if he’s the reason why, or if he’s the exception."

“Okay, Mr. Know-It-All,” you frown at him. “I wasn’t going to deny that but it was the naive, impulsive, hopeless romantic version of me who loved him. That’s not me anymore. I’ve grown up. I know what I want from my partner, and Yoongi is just the small town boy who’ll always think that his broken dreams will keep him from loving me the way I deserve. And maybe he’s right.”

"Geumjae sighs as he watches his brother’s gaze go to you once more, unknowingly, perhaps, as Yoongi seems to shake himself off after every time he realizes that his eyes were locked on your direction. But he can’t blame the younger man. You entered his life and he fell, extremely hard, and letting you go was the most difficult thing he ever had to do. Yoongi doesn’t need to tell him though, but there’s enough of his younger brother’s broken pieces lying around for Geumjae to know that it was also something he regretted doing, and he wishes his brother was at least brave enough to admit all that."

“He has, but I guess something will always be missing. He’s a lot better but he’s not the same. A parent would know, you know? The flame doesn’t shine as bright,” Mr. Min answers, the tinge of sadness in his eyes hurting you a little."

"Perhaps the playfulness tempered a bit. You seem a little more anxious than he remembers, too. There’s this sophistication about you that was always too good for this small town, and he sees that even more now. Your smile is still soft but it isn’t as bright. He won’t deny that it still makes his heart race, though."

This is another one of the many things I love about exes to lovers. Every person in our life shapes us in some way. The relationships we have shape us in even bigger ways, some of them are good and some of them are bad. I'm excited to witness more of the ways that OC and Yoongi have left a mark on each other and if them being together again will bring out the qualities and personalities of their past selves. Like for example, I wonder if OC will let herself be that romantic and more emotional person again, how, if at all, she'll be able to heal and let go of the defensive mechanisms she's using in fear of experiencing the heartbreak Yoongi left her in. And I would love to know more about how she influenced Yoongi too, what things he's kept and what he hasn't. And all of the hurt they've caused each other is still there but so is some of the tenderness and aaaah.

"You got what you wanted and you worked hard to get to where you are and he knows you’re proud of yourself and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Seeing that smile - he knows. Letting you go was the best thing he’s ever done for you."

“I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like staying away and keeping my distance will let him know that it still affects me. He’ll always know me like that,” you sigh, hugging him tightly for more comfort. “And there’s this part of me that wants to show him that I’m fine, you know?  That even with everything that happened between us, I walked away from it knowing what I deserve, and that’s someone who’ll fight through life with me. He didn’t and that’s on him but he had his reasons, and looking back, maybe he was right. Maybe he had to let me go, and maybe - because I loved him genuinely and intensely - I want to show him that it wasn’t all in vain. And that I’m happy. Even without him.”

So many thoughts and feelings to be had about her living out her dreams because he let her go 😭😭😭 I'm sure seeing her so happy and successful is really reinforcing all the reasons Yoongi had for letting her go. And yet I'm also sure that being back in each other's presence and feeling that happiness (and love) they bring each other will make them wonder if they couldn't actually try to be together too. But then again, maybe the fact that they can see how well OC's career worked out because she left will hold them back from trying.

I hope at least some of this made sense, please excuse any possible mistakes or plain nonsense. After reading this, I was left with many thoughts and a bunch of quotes I had copied to comment on. And yet I was so immersed that I didn't stop to take proper notes as I was reading. So that all resulted in me putting all the quotes on a word doc and spilling all of my thoughts underneath them, and then putting them all together like a puzzle at one am because I had to let it all out before I fell asleep 😭😭😭😭

Disregarding all of my chaos, I loved this chapter and I can't wait to read the whole series <3

Belong (01) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter (18+)

Chapter Word count: 14.2k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

Listen to: Boston by Augustana; Shelter by Luca Fogale || Playlist 🎶

A/N: Posting this today to celebrate People pt.2 and D-Day! Here’s a little piece I’ve had for a while. It felt fitting to write something about dreams and finding your purpose through Yoongi and at a time when I’m going through something similar. There’s nothing like his wisdom and his warmth so I hope this could mean something to you somehow. 💕 Please enjoy! And 🫡 to NBA Ambassador Suga! Now that’s his 🏀 dream in another form.

Keep reading

[hamsterclaw]

Yoongi Masterlist

All of my writing contains smut and is 🔞. Yoongi is my ultimate bias and turns up as second lead in most of my writing when he's not the lead.

Drift Kings cop Jimin x chaebol reader x street racer Yoongi

You and your brother Seokjin live completely separate lives, until one day when your worlds collide.

Desecrate demon prince! Yoongi x fallen angel! reader

A fall from grace causes you to stumble into the hands of a demon prince. Inspired by Lilith.

Fugitive convict Yoongi x f! reader

You're kidnapped by a desperate man, and you can't see a way that this is going to end well, for either of you.

Trocadero producer! Yoongi x medical student! reader

You and Yoongi have known each other since school, forging lives for yourselves in the city you both love. One night changes the trajectory of your lives.

Nightcall emotionally distant Yoongi x reader

Yoongi's never been anything but honest with you. He's not looking for a relationship. It's too bad you've been in love with him since you met him. Also read: Slip, a drabble.

Rota Issues doctor! Yoongi x PA! reader

You're doing fine, bossing it after unexpectedly becoming a single parent to your nephew. Yoongi isn't convinced. Featuring Taehyung.

Spinning Out air ambulance pilot! Yoongi x doctor! reader, ft pilots Namjoon, Jungkook and a cameo from Taehyung

You are an expert in your field. Nothing fazes you, well nothing did, until you meet helicopter pilot Min Yoongi. Suddenly you are spinning out of control.

Sake businessman! Yoongi x reader x rapper Namjoon x boy-next-door Hobi

Yoongi has a business proposition for you. You think working with him is a good decision for your business, but not necessarily your heart. Also read Daiginjo - a sequel.

Duplicity police detective! Yoongi. Part of the Rage AU.

Yoongi lies as easily as he tells the truth, until he meets someone he doesn't want to lie to.

Security Read on AO3 doctor! Yoongi x reader

You and Jin are in charge of security at a hospital. A new influx of doctors arrives - and they are all ridiculously attractive. Featuring all of Bangtan.

Night Light Read on AO3 delivery boy! Yoongi x waitress! reader

Yoongi walks into your 24 hour diner one day, bringing with him more drama than you are prepared for.

Dive dystopian futuristic guard Yoongi x reader

Yoongi's an outcast, part of your enclave but not welcome. You've been tasked with working together with him.

Gemini a series ft chaebols! Yoongi, Jimin, Jungkook and Seokjin

You and your twin brother Yoongi are heirs to the Min empire, richer than Croesus. Yoongi's set to take over the company, but you're not sure where your niche is. And then you meet Jimin.

Knight chaebol! Yoongi x reader, part of the Gemini AU

Yoongi prides himself on being a professional in the boardroom. You seem to be determined to crack his facade. Also read Sweet, a Knight drabble.

Vows aka 10 ways to win your husband's heart

chaebol! Yoongi x reader, ft chaebol! Seokjin

You've been in your arranged marriage with Yoongi for five years, and he's never once retaliated for anything you've done to him. One day you realise you've lost your appetite for provoking him, and you set about trying to win his heart instead.

Part 1 Part 2

Sorry - a drabble

Prequels - Pretend, Lonely

Schooled: Seokjin's revenge

Firsts

Everything

Doll

Penance

Drabbles: The suit, Choices, Geneva, Avila, Drive stick, Sire, Drown, Sulky

Every time like the first time

Switch pt 2

Untouchable

First strike

Shiner

Bad Angel angel! Yoongi x reader, dystopian future. Part of the Fallen AU.

Yoongi acts like he doesn't care one way or the other. When you get to know him, you realise there's more to him than he lets on.

Bad Angel (Alt version)

You meet an angel at a party. He doesn't seem to give a fuck what anyone thinks, doesn't seem to care that you're half-demon. You don't know whether you're the bad angel, or if he is.

Under the Ice emergency rescue workers Yoongi x reader

You and your partner Jimin are part of an emergency evacuation on the Hope base in Antarctica. A crack team is drafted in to help. The only problem? It includes your ex-husband Min Yoongi.

Zero Sum aspiring producer! Yoongi x reader

You're in a spiral you can't pull yourself out of, and Yoongi offers you a lifeline.

Peach chief of staff Yoongi x staffer reader x staffer Jungkook

Your boss, Vice-President Kim Namjoon, is on the rise again, if only you and Jungkook could pull yourselves together enough to support him. Luckily, Namjoon's chief of staff Min Yoongi's around to keep you all in line.

Sex, lies and fanfiction Youtuber Yoongi x reader

He's arrogant and infuriating, and he's trying to tell you how to write? No fucking way.

Fractured detectives Yoongi x reader

Yoongi’s a murder detective fighting burnout when he’s assigned the case that you and your former partner fucked up.

©hamsterclaw 2021 - 2024

[orchidrene]

Which idol do you resemble and why?

Pile 1 Pile 2

Pile 3 Pile 4

Pile 1

First impression:

Irene from red velvet: remember how people were like Irene is basically Taeyeon and Tiffany mixed during the sm rookies thing? You might have that vibe too. Cold, unapproachable, pretty and confident. You might come off chic and attractive. I'm sensing you getting extremely startled at small things but not being fazed by other people 💀. People might feel like you think that they're not on your level and stuff. You seem to have really pretty lips and might even have a lip habit like biting, licking or pouting.

First conversation:

Taehyung, Namjoon, IU: People are going to be shocked at your philosophical way of life and probably melancholic personality but I feel like it gets balanced out because you still seem to be extremely confident and have Tiffany vibes to yourself and people have already heard about you being players. You might be open to others' values but still follow your own values like someone in front of you is like "how can someone even have pizza with pineapple toppings?" And you're like "yeah right." Then proceed to eat a slice of pineapple pizza in front of them. People might feel extremely heard by you if they're being vulnerable though. You tend to become a very comforting and warm person when someone needs emotional support. Like IU, you seem to bond with people over emotions and experiences. Like RM, you seem to give wise and well thought out advice. Like Taehyung, you seem to be that warm friend who warms your heart and makes you want to love them. I'll say that you know how to carry yourself. You have that savage aura to yourself though. "Is it your dream to collab with JB?" "I mean it's not a dream."

Friends' POV:

Jimin (ex AOA), Jimin (BTS), Mina (ex AOA): Right off the bat ㅠㅠ you probably cut off all or most of your friends. Your ex friends see you as flirty hoes, they hold a lot of anger towards you for some reason. Maybe some of you dated one of their ex crushes? Someone extremely charming but fake 💀 like Jimin's (BTS) charm can't be denied but it's like they think your romantic suitors see you as this lovely Jimin pure, flirty and extremely cute but you're actually a Mina who victimizes themselves a lot and a Jimin (AOA) who bullies others and is a whore and bitch😭. I feel like it's their fault though, you seem to have Taylor Swift energy honestly, maybe you have a lot of suitors and ex's where it didn't work out and just the way Taylor was serious about them and is slut shamed for absolutely no reason, they see you like that too. I sense they're jealous of your beauty and how you were the most attractive friend. You might've told them that you felt left out just for them to take it as a personal attack too.

Pile 2

First impression:

Jisoo (Blackpink): I feel like you come off a bit more of an elegant and pure beauty. I'm getting AIIYL era Jisoo vibes here. You might be seen as someone extremely funny and many people's ideal type too. People feel like you've got a very youthful appearance. The girl next door energy here. You might be seen as someone funny and someone with no bad intentions too. Might be seen as someone introverted and shy.

First conversation:

Jennie (Blackpink), Jin (BTS) and Lee Know (skz) :Turns out you're not as innocent as people might think of you to be. You might come off extremely savage and opiniated at times. I'm sensing major IT girl energy here (I mean it's Jennie.) Ahahaha ㅠㅠ you might be extremely blunt and funny too. I'm sensing you roasting the shit out of people at first meeting. I'm sensing you making a lot of eye contact too.

Friends' POV:

Sunghoon (Enhypen): You make fun of your friends, people naturally have a soft spot on you. Your friends seem to see you as someone extremely cold but cute and easy going... You might make a small but cute fuss when you don't get what you want. You're someone with a lot of work ethic too according to your friends. You might have a very good sense of fashion and be objectively attractive according to most of them.

Pile 3

First impression:

Yunjin (LESSERAFIM): someone with positive vibes, an attractive and healthy body, someone with a lot of good vibes, might have that leader-ish vibe to yourself. Someone funny, might have a lot of libra energy. Someone balanced. Someone mature and loveable. Someone that naturally stands out, might be someone with a good amount of social skills.

First conversation:

Jungwon (Enhypen): Someone respectable, someone respectful. You might talk a lot about the dark aspects of being a human like the shadow side. About accepting the short comings and stuff. People see you as someone extremely hardworking and adorable. You might have a good voice too like Taeyeon and Jungwon types. You might joke around with others about work or a presentation and just be like "I won't let you down." In a very rushed manner. Which people find adorable. People want to just pull you to their lap??? (Jaywon🪐😔)

Friends' POV:

Ryujin (ITZY): straight out girl crush energy (you don't have to be a girl 🦋 might just be a heart throb) I'm hearing 'not shy' by ITZY. You might be a person who loves pursuing your love interests. Might see you as someone extremely desirable by the same sex perspective. Might have a very funny laugh that makes them laugh too. You might have a resting bitch face.

Pile 4:

First impression:

Seulgi (RV): someone cute and loveable, might be a feline beauty too, someone with a lot of charm. Girl crush charm. You might be someone who looks like you're open to getting to know others. You might have a very "I'm scared but I'll do it" energy. Curiousity of a child. Really cute big baby energy.

First conversation:

Chanyeol (EXO): people might realize that you're actually a bit more shy than they saw you to be. You might stutter a bit. Might not really talk first. You might be a bit shy even when talking back. Might be extremely playful when you get comfortable though.

Friends' POV:

Taeyeon (SNSD/soloist): You seem to have something extremely poetic and melancholic about you but in a very dark feminine way. "Four seasons" played when shuffling, might have a "after all I did for you" kind of attitude towards your ex romantic partners. Might be seen as someone a bit of a player but a femme fatale. "You can go but I won't be here when you turn back." You might have the "fuck you all I'm fine by myself" energy after cutting someone off. I'm hearing "if" by Taeyeon ㅠㅠ I feel like you have an ex friend that you had mutual feelings for... That you had to cut off. They are taking you for granted right now but will be begging for you to take them back soon. I also hear you're very emotional but your friends usually don't seem to pay attention to that side of you? You're clearly misunderstood. You deserve to receive the affection you give out, please don't forget that.♡

[sparklingchim]

Please a drabble of jealous jk (but not jelly of jimin) sometime in their past or something

Jungkook should've payed more attention to the obvious signs.

Perhaps then he wouldn't stand wide-eyed at the doorstep of your bedroom, interrupting the rather fervid make-out session between Taehyung and you.

Your eyes are equally as big as Jungkook's. You're sitting on Taehyung's lap who's leaning against the pillows on your bed. Taehyung - the smug asshole he is - seems to be the only one who isn't fazed by the disruption - his hand on your ass not moving an inch evidence enough.

"Jungkook," you choke out.

"We wanted to study," Jungkook says though his gaze remains fixed on Taehyung.

Your parents won't be home until late today, so it was the perfect opportunity to study for the upcoming maths exam at your place.

"It's 3pm already?" Your plush and swollen lips steal Jungkook's attention and he wonders how long you've been kissing Mr. Cocky.

"I called you, but you never answered."

You look around your room. "I don't know where I put my phone."

"It's okay." Jungkook's jaw tenses as he watches Taehyung's hands move up to your hips. But he doesn't just let his hands rest there, no, he slips them under your sweatshirt and squeezes your bare flesh.

The exhale through Jungkook's nose is loud, but what the fuck? How could he not be annoyed when fucking Kim Taehyung acted like Jungkook was not in the room with them?

"You still wanna study or do you want me to..." Go is the word that Jungkook is leaving out.

"Oh no, we can still study!" you answer, getting off Taehyung's lap. Thank God. You turn around on your feet. "Wanna study with us for the maths exam, Tae?" Wha- no. What the hell?

Taehyung sits up. "Yeah, sure. Why not."

Jungkook feels like he's gonna pass out.

~

Jungkook should've left as soon as you proposed Taehyung to join your study session.

In the category of things not to do "hanging out with a newly dating couple" is at least catalogued in the top three. And he was the biggest fool for ignoring it.

Jungkook will lose all his brain cells if you and Taehyung keep flirting and giggling and being affectionate with each other - or he's gonna vomit, he isn't sure yet.

You're all gathered next to each other around the huge coffe table in the living room, a drama is currently playing as background noise.

"I don't get number 4," you utter in a pout.

Jungkook parts his lips, ready to explain it to you, but Taehyung beats him to it.

Taehyung starts explaining and Jungkook's listens carefully. Jungkook doesn't want to be one of those annoyed smart-asses, but sometimes when he's had a look at Taehyung's sheet he saw hin doing little mistakes and pointed them out to Taehyung.

Taehyung isn't dumb, but the way you and him keep touching each other is probably distracting his. Just like now, while explaining, his palm brushes across your thigh. You lean to your side, cheek softly pressed against his arm and eyes glued to the book on the table.

Jungkook pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. He can't endure this for much longer.

"That's not correct," Jungkook says after Taehyung's finishes his explanation.

What follows is a 5 minute debacle over the correct solution of number 4. Taehyung is sure that he's got it right and Jungkook knows that his way is the correct one.

The two would've continued to argue if you hadn't chimed in, "I'll just ask our teacher tomorrow. It's fine."

Jungkook huff. "Whatever."

"I'm gonna use the bathroom real quick," Taehyung says, leaving the living room.

Jungkook gets right back at work, types something into the calculator and quickly writes numbers on his sheet of paper.

"What is up with you?" you ask. Jungkook can feel your piercing stare on you.

He shrugs nonchalantly. "Nothing."

"You've been acting weird, Koo."

"It's just-" Jungkook's looks at you for a second. "I'm hearing more kissing noises than typing on the calculator."

"Oh, uh - well..." you hide a smile. "I just...really like him," you confess.

"Don't have to rub it in my face how lonely I am."

You laugh sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"Next time just you and me again, okay?"

"I promise."

"I actually need to leave now," Jungkook announces. He heard the bathroom door open and realised that under no circumstances could he bear to see you act all lovey dovey with Taehyung like that any more.

It annoys him, yes, but at the same time it feels like rubbing salt in the wound every time you giggle after Taehyung whispers something in your ear. There's this strange feeling clawing at his heart and he needs to get rid of it.

You frown. "It hasn't even been 2 hours."

"I gotta go to practice." Jungkook stands up and starts packing his stuff. "They changed the schedule for this week a little," he explains because you know exactly on which days he has practice or not.

"Oh."

And just because he can, he bends down, tilts your chin up for him and pecks your cheek just as Taehyung enters the living room again.

It's silly, but seeing Taehyung's reaction makes it easier for Jungkook to walk out of your house with a lightened heart.

[icedmatchatae]

No Kisses | KTH Chapter VI: Boo Found Her Kitty

Pairing: Captain of the Football Team fuckboi Taehyung x Class President goody two shoes Reader

Genre: FWB AU-ish, enemies to frienemies? with benefits to lovers, smut, fluff, angst?? I guess

Summary: It's championship week! The most anticipated week of the school year; however, leading up to the events, you and your council must collaborate with the football team to promote school spirit and pride. Unfortunately, you're forced to work with your number one enemy, Football team captain and fuck boy, Kim Taehyung, known for having a mysterious "no kisses" rule.

Chapter VI: Boo Found Her Kitty || Series Masterlist

You hummed a song from this boy group Hoseok showed you earlier today, and you couldn’t get it out of your head. Something about butter or whatever. You closed the microwave door and pressed popcorn before it started. You felt so fresh and relaxed after the long shower you gave yourself. You did a mask, shaved, exfoliated your scalp and body, and deep conditioned your untamed hair.

Your hair that was usually up was now down and resting at your lower back. At this stage in your life (or surprising genetics), your strands were naturally wavy, and you didn’t have the patience to style it, thus always being in a ponytail or braided. However, you loved your hair and its length, so you refused to cut it.

You were in a pinky bralette with flimsy blue shorts that barely covered the indent to your butt, a habit of rarely wearing clothes when you’re in the comfort of your home. Your glasses sat perfectly on the bridge of your nose as you waited for the popcorn to be done.

You waited for Yoongi’s text, hoping he’s still okay with your movie night. But knowing him, he was the type to either fall asleep or just come to your house unknowingly. You also don’t care how you dress in front of him like this. It never fazed him. He explicitly said you weren’t his type as well.

It felt good having time to yourself. Usually, you were in school, working, or with Taehyung. Though you longed for the man, it was nice that the both of you had a night to yourselves. You missed him, though, and wondered if he was having fun and enjoying the presence of his friends. But these thoughts weren’t going to ruin your Friday night. You will spend time with your friend and watch Monsters, Inc. 

You heard a knock on your front door. With a smile, you happily rushed to the front door to invite your best friend.

Without hesitation, you opened the entrance. “I knew you’d ma—Taehyung?” You stopped yourself in shock. While his presence eventually became welcomed, you weren’t expecting him. Yet there he was, dressed in all black, fitting around his body succulently, hair tussled sexily, and smelling like alcohol and cologne. He leaned the jamb, slowly controlling his breathing while his eyes fell on you. He was out of breath…did he run? You were too concerned and in need to help him that you couldn’t see the predator look plastered on his face. 

He found you so fucking attractive. All blood went to his hardening dick. Bralette showing your cleavage, skimpy little shorts covering barely anything, your stomach exposed and ready for him to touch. But what surprised him the most was your hair. This was the first time he’s seen it in its natural state and not up. Your natural waves cascading down and free, looking absolutely delectable.

You tried calling for him, but you noticed where he was staring. You automatically looked down and were fully aware he gawked at your body and what you were wearing. Regretting you should have put on a cover, You quickly hid behind the door as he tried staring a bit longer to your liking. He saw you in nothing before, but why are you getting all so shy?

“W-what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you…is this for me?” He was astonished by how you looked. All bare and in your natural glow, he loved it so much.

“N-no, these are my sleeping clothes.”

“You look so sexy…” He stepped inside your home and wrapped his arms around your waist. You lost your balance, but he pulled you into his chest, stabilizing you. He nuzzled his nose into the neck, inhaling your clean scent heavily. “You smell fucking delicious, just for me.”

“Taehyu—”

The microwave beeped, and your attention motioned to that direction.

He rested his chin on your head and kissed your hair, “You making something?” His little action warmed you but repressed it off.

“I made popcorn.” You lightly pushed him off of you to get your snack, having more cheer in each step, to which Taehyung showed no shame in watching your ass bounce with it. 

He looked at your TV paused with the Pixar opening. “Movie night?” He watched you put the popcorn into the bowl and throw the bag in the trash. “All by yourself, princess? Fun Friday, I guess.” He followed your movement as you headed towards your living room.

“No.” You stated, but your tone was like a question. You placed the popcorn down. “Yoongi was thinking of coming but…” You checked your phone resting on the coffee table. “Judging by the time, I think he may have fallen asleep.”

Yoongi? Why Yoongi? Sure, he was your best friend and all, but why was he spending a quiet night with you alone? A Pixar movie, a man and a woman together, eating popcorn, hormones? A recipe for disaster, in Taehyung’s possessive mindset. 

“So Yoongi would have seen you in this?” He motioned at your thin pieces of fabric that you call pajamas. 

“Uhhh, he doesn’t care.” You turned your head as he came up to you in haste. Once his shoes stepped onto your carpet, you were about to protest and tell him off, but he grabbed your waist and pulled you into him. His dark eyes watched

“I do. I care.”

Heart beating. “Why should you?”

“Because…only I can see you this. Hair down, in this sexy sleeping attire, showing so much supple skin. Only me.” You felt his venomous voice hitting your face, letting out a grimaced expression. Alcohol but the mint tried covering up the stench. Yet being so close to him made your stomach squirrels run around in glee. He looked like a God damn mess, but a beautiful mess indeed.

Trying to be all casual and pretending you weren’t sexually affected, you say, ”Ummm, I guess since you’re here, do you wanna watch the movie with me? It’s Monsters, Inc.” You slightly pushed him away, but he gripped onto you tightly.

“How about we do something else?”

“So yes or no?” You shoved him to create some distance between you. You grabbed the popcorn bowl before plotting down on the couch. You ate a piece before looking up to him as he stood like a mannequin in silence.

He was still a little tipsy but sobered up quickly after the incident. He finally checked the surroundings before realizing that he hadn’t been to your place before. You never suggested going to your apartment to have sex. It was always his. He didn’t know why but he never asked. But as his drunk eyes scanned the place, it was very you with comfy and adorable furniture.

You murmured to him to take his shoes off, which he obliged and threw them over to the entrance, making you shake your head. He took his jacket off, revealing a black shirt underneath that tightened around his muscles. He settled on the couch while you grabbed the remote to start the movie.

As much as you wanted to cuddle with him, you maintained distance. You had sex, sure, but from the past couple of days, you wanted to maintain some sort of boundary. You’ve been doing so many things beyond fuck buddies with him that was severely detrimental to your poor little heart because you knew it didn’t mean anything at all. 

But it hurts so good when it happens.

“Hey, why are you so far? Come to me.” He pouted, scooting closer to you. You moved back, but he only came forth, eventually circling an arm around your waist. He pulled you and laid his back down onto the cushions, putting your body on top of him. You almost dropped the entire bowl, but he grabbed it and placed it on the floor in front of you, then pulled the throw blanket over your bodies. He fixed your positions until you had a leg hanging on the side of him and another in between his legs. Your head rested on his chest while he was on a couch pillow. 

“How does this feel, baby?” He questioned, absorbing in your softness and warmth. You merely hummed before he gripped onto your thigh, to your surprise, and brought it up so that you’re basically straddled onto him. 

God, this position was your favorite when you cuddled him, but usually, this led to fucking…, and you shouldn’t, even if you wanted to. You literally had sex yesterday, but it has been 24 hours.

You didn’t know if he was trying to do something on purpose or wanting to get a reaction out of you. But through your peripheral vision, you saw him engaging with the movie. Despite the interrupted self-care day, you shouldn’t make it a big deal, but it was fine as long as you were resting.

You both eventually became invested in the movie, while Taehyung fed the both of you popcorn once in a while.

-

You were about to fall asleep at the part where Sulley lost Boo in the factory when you felt Taehyung’s fingers ghost over the tops of your straddling thigh. You didn’t think much about it; in fact, it was relaxing, and you would have fallen asleep quicker.

But his digits shifted under you, hitting your clothed core.

You inhaled in a rush and lifted your head off of him to give him a glare. Once you did so, you saw that he wasn’t even paying attention to you. His eyes were still on the movie, but he knew you were suspecting something.

He lightly touches your cunt through your fabric, applying not enough pressure to get through an orgasm but enough to make you needy and whiny for him. You squeezed your eyes shut, taking it in. He moved his fingers to your hole, digging a little that it penetrated your dampening panties into you. You felt yourself leaking, your essences running down the petaled lips.

This was not supposed to be coming over to eat some ramen.

You exhaled softly before gripping onto his shirt. “Tae…” Still not looking at you, he found your clit and rubbed circles over it. You bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning over the lovely feeling. You rested your head on his chest as you breathed heavily and tightened your hold on him, squinting your eyes shut. “Daddy,” You mewled, shifting your head so that your chin rested on him while you gazed at him with your lusting eyes.

“Aww, baby, look! Boo found her kitty!” You did not give a fuck about the movie. You were focused on getting some action now. He mundanely turned to finally give you his full attention. You saw how his eyes darkened with sensuality and need, but his face remained blank, acting like nothing was going on. “I also found my kitty.”

He pushed your skimpy shorts and ruined underwear to the side of the folds. Two long fingers carded through the slit, collecting your fluids. “Fuck, so ready.” He embedded his digits into your hole, causing you to let out a shaky moan. But he doesn’t move, for God knows how long you start wiggling your hips, pouting for him to do something. “More?”

You pushed out your lips, submitting to his beck and call. You nodded swiftly, “Y-yes, daddy, please.”

“Please, what?”

“C-can you touch me more, daddy?”

He chuckled darkly, “You’ve gotten better at begging.” He licked his lips before slowly pumping in and out of your pussy, relieving you of the pleasure but squealing when he curled his fingers into your g-spot.

“Oh, God!” You grunted as you dropped your face down, shallowing your noises into his hardened chest. You subconsciously rolled your hips to his rhythm, both of you listening to the sounds of your stickiness wetting his fingers.

“Baby, you’re so tight.” He breathed out, continuing his movements. “Look at me while I’m fingering you.”

You raised your face while resting your chin on him once again. He was absolutely delighted seeing your flushed face, droopy eyes at him, mouth slightly open to breathe, furrowed brows as you concentrated on your orgasm. Your faces were so close yet so far away, but every time he pushed his fingers in, you’d jot forward, almost crashing your faces together. 

He couldn’t help but stare at your luscious lips, so red and plump, covered in your saliva as you licked it. He remembered the times when you almost tried to kiss him or vice versa, but each party would prevent it before happening. He wished he didn’t have stopped. He regretted it every time. He looked at your lips, the sounds that came out of them. His strained dick in his pants twitched every time. These were the lips he wanted.

“Daddy, close.” You squeaked, feeling the familiar heat coming up again. “Please lemme come. I’ve been your good girl,” The sound of your poor little voice was the ballad to his ears. He thrust harder, and you fell forward, finally coming to his features.

Your foreheads touched, the tip of your noses blooping one another. The little whimpers grew louder as he felt your walls about to crash down. You so badly wanted to kiss him. You knew never to kiss him even in a delirious state. But once your hot breath grazed his face and he saw you biting your lips again, it triggered his entire being.

Taehyung leaned forward.

Your eyes widened as you found yourself losing oxygen by the second.

You felt his lips on yours. Though there were still trails of alcohol and popcorn, your delusional mind morphed his bitter taste into cotton candy and sweet caramel. His lips were soft and cushiony against yours. He began moving them so that you’d mesh into him, which you did to follow his lead but very poorly. The kiss granted your every wish and hope you wanted. The innocent touch of his exploded like the New Year’s sky, the butterfly sensation traveling across your body, especially your poor cunt that rippled into ecstasy.

You gasped, letting him have a chance to push his tongue in. You moaned into his mouth, shutting your eyes as your body convulsed and juice spewed out of you like there was no tomorrow. Everything was wet and sticky. You leaked all over your couch and his clothes, but he did not give two shits as he gently helped you come down on your high.

He had pulled out of you by the time you were finished but didn’t stop kissing you. Your tongues were sloppily moving and swirled in motion as he gripped your waist and urged you towards him. You could feel his boner poking at you before he grinds into you to relieve some pain.

You felt so good; you tasted like vanilla and strawberries, and he was instantly addicted. He didn’t care if he broke his rule, nor did you. He wanted your taste on his mouth at all times. All he wanted was you and to kiss you again and again and again.

After some time, you finally pulled apart from him to breathe, but foreheads still touched. You kept your eyes closed, having a sense of fear for reasons you weren’t quite sure of. He finally kissed you; you finally kissed him. It only made your heart jump in joy. Did it mean something?

“You know you suck at kissing.”

You snapped your eyes wide open to see him smile cheekily. You frowned and pushed away to sit and straddle him. “Not my fault!”

“I thought of it as a compliment. It inflates me.” He, too, sat up, gazing at you with endearment. “Only showing how much I’m corrupting you.”

“You freaky man.”

He smirked, “Only for you.” He took your chin, inching forward to kiss him again. God, he loved it so much. You kissed back, making him moan. He muffled into your lips, “Bedroom, where?”

“End of the hall to the left.”

He wasted no time carrying you and following your directions while you circled your arms around his nape. He did it all while kissing you, fumbling a bit because he was too distracted by your supple lips. Ultimately, he made it into your bedroom. He didn’t have time to speculate the area as he spotted your full-sized bed in the corner to put you down.

Your back met your soft sheets, which you are praised to the high heavens you decided to change your old One Direction bedsheets into cute white daisies.

There he stripped all the disrespectful but sexy sleepwear off of you, making you completely naked in front of him. You weren’t as shy to show your body to him, but it still lingered. You used your elbows as leverage as your eyes battled with his in what was the next move.

“Get on fours.” He commanded, and you happily accepted. Your rounded ass faced him, which was something embarrassing and you’re not used to, but you knew he loved it, so you did it for him.

Teasing him a little, you shook your behind him and smiled playfully despite him not seeing. But all the fun and games for you were interrupted when he spanked your red puffy pussy. You yelped in pain but also pleasure as he did it once more.

“Da—” Another slap.

“You came without my permission.” Slap. “You think me kissing you was saying yes?” Slap.

You sniffled as you teared up, “N-no.” Slap. “Sorry!” The jolts bounced you into a rush, begging for more. You began drooling on the side of your mouth, pushing your head into your mattress.

“Baby, you’re doing so good, but I’m gonna have to punish you again.” He stated, and you said yes. For reassurance, he pecked your ass cheek before proceeding with your punishment. He smacked your cunt continuously, hit after hit. With every moan that got out of you, he knew you enjoyed it.

You felt the pressure building up again, and before he could punish you again, you said, “Daddy, I’m gonna come, please, please, please!”

Slap. “Okay, baby. Gimme what you got.” You were a bomb that detonated in a rush. Your walls clenched around nothing, yet your thighs quivered as they struggled to keep your ass up.

Your face stayed flat on your sheets. You heard him removing his wet clothes and throwing them on the floor, finally being as bare as you. You felt him push your legs, spreading them wide open. You prepared for him to go inside, but you inhaled sharply as his flattened tongue rubbed your clit in figure eight.

Your hands reached for the bedsheets, swaying your hips into his mouth. He held a side of your hip to keep you still. You wept by the immense sensation you had, looping your fingers tightly around the fabric. His plush slugged down into your hole, pushing it open as he sucked on your swollen nub. You mewled, but your voice grew high and louder when you felt a different feeling.

His mouth parted from your pussy to spit onto your anal, lubricating it before going back. His thumb rimmed around your puckered hole, lightly pressing into it as he ate your petaled folds. The feeling was too much, but it was soooo good. 

“Daddy!” You said pathetically.

He kissed your clit before saying, “Is this okay, baby?”

“Hurry!” You whined. “Wan you inside!”

He chuckled at your impatience, “I just wanna take my time with my baby. I love being with you.” The tip of his thumb pushed through your hole, causing you to groan. He nibbled and suckled on your clit simultaneously, making you go into another frenzy. You couldn’t handle the pressure, and you just sobbed as you came into his mouth.

He could feel him smiling, knowing that though you didn’t ask for permission, he enjoyed seeing and hearing you cum so he lets it slide. Thighs losing feeling until you dropped your lower body down to the bed, bouncing back slightly. He guided you down, collecting your frothy white slush with his tongue. Once you were finished, you still were a crazy horn ball who wanted Daddy’s dick immediately.

“Daddy, please!” You whimpered, focusing on him. There were tear streaks down the corners of your eyes, your nose was red and runny, and your mouth leaked in your drool. “Wan you…wan you..badly, please!” You hiccuped, being overpowered by his overall dominance.

You were so well-behaved. It hurt Taehyung’s heart. He wanted to give you everything your little heart desired. He felt so bad for you, having come three times yet not on his dick. He was also losing patience with his cock, painfully pink and seeping with pre-cum through his tiny slit. He knew it was time.

“Okay, baby, shh, shh. It’s okay.” He cooed, pushing away the strands on your face to eye you clearly. You were sniffling and wiping some tears away from your flushed features. You were so beautiful and perfect that he couldn’t get enough.

He turned you around, letting you rest on your back. He spreads you. He positioned himself in between your legs. The mushroom of his dick swiped your pussy, scooping more lubrication until he rested himself at the entrance. His eyes averted back to yours, then he saw something.

The lust in your eyes was replaced with a more tenderer spark. You gawked at him like he was the only one in the world. You were longing for him, wanted to be with him already. His attention was all on you, just for you. He held onto your hands, kissing the backs of them with care. The atmosphere changed into something they wished for but were afraid to say it audibly. 

“You’re so perfect, princess.” He whispered enough for your fluff mind to hear. “You’re mine. Don’t ever leave me.” There was a sense of vulnerability in him, and you’re surprised as to why or what is he talking about.

“I—”

He stopped you by pecking your lips, “You don’t need to say anything. I just want you to know.” He bent down again to give you a more intimate kiss. He took his time kissing you, wanting the moment to last.

But your horny mind couldn’t wait any longer, so you parted from him to whine. “Hurry, please. I want you so badly.” You shook your hips at him and spread yourself wider than usual. “Fuck me, please.”

He sighed despite loving how you begged. He grabbed his cock to align himself. He didn’t even wait as he slammed his entire length into you, making you scream from the sudden stretch. Though you knew he was big, it was still hard to adjust. “This is what you get from being so needy.”

He wasted no time thrusting long and hard. Each stroke touched your spot and cervix. Both of your moans and the sound of skin slapping echoed the room. Your eyes rolled back from the pleasure receiving, drool pooling out of your mouth while your arms struggled to hold him for dear life. He has done it before, but the feeling seemed different, an unspoken feeling.

Your hearts fluttered with every noise, every stare, every smell, every touch. All you wanted to do was be with one another. You didn’t want to let go. You couldn’t, or else you’ll break.

Taehyung’s pace fastened, making you scream louder and squirm under him. He gripped your waist harder, holding you down and probably creating red marks on you. His mouth reached for your nipple and swirled his tongue on your bud, making you curse under your breath at another stimulation.

He slapped your tit and smirked at your weakening state, “Such a good little slut. Do you like when daddy plays with you like a little fuck toy?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Tell me who you belong to?” He seethed, immediately thinking about how you were dressed, and waited for Yoongi. “Who owns your pussy, princess?”

“Y-you!”

“Be clear!” He smacked your tits, getting them to bounce.

“Taehyung!” You tried so hard to reply with a mushed head. “Daddy owns this pussy!”

“You’re mine! No one should see you like this except for me. Not Yoongi, not Hoseok, me!” He pressed his palm onto your stomach, and you could have sworn you lost it right then and there. Using his other hand, he went over to and pinched your swollen clit. Your throat hurt from all that screaming as you could only wheeze at this point. The high was arriving soon, and you couldn’t even speak properly. You babbled like the dumb little whore you were.

“God, look at you. Just a month ago, you were a cute little virgin. Now you’re my cum sprinkling cock sleeve.” He said condescendingly, which would have embarrassed you, but your conscious was nowhere to be seen. “My pretty kitty so good, so tight for daddy. This little fucking cunt is my personal onahole. Got it?!” 

You nodded pathetically, which he usually didn’t like, but you getting stupid for his cock made up for it. You loved his filthy words, loved it to the last drop.

Taehyung’s eyes glanced at your pussy, sloshing with a pearly ring connecting around his thickness. Such a God ascending sight, he thought. He could feel you tightening around him. 

“P-puh-pl—“ You couldn’t enunciate. He knew that you couldn’t produce proper words, so he gave you the blessing you wanted.

“Cum.”

He didn’t have to say it twice as you were sent into one of the hardest orgasms in your life. Your eardrums rang, hearing a blunt white noise as your head throbbed tremendously. Your vision blurred with spotting images of Taehyung. Your nails needled through his back, putting crescents on his skin. You barely chanted his name as you were slowly going down. He drowned some of your mewls with his mouth, though you couldn’t kiss him back.

Though you were completely satisfied with your sexual craving, Taehyung wasn’t having it. You didn’t squirt, and he wanted you to blackout. He loved seeing you writhe and crumble at the hands of him. So he decided to pull out and turn you back on your fours. 

You were practically a rag doll, allowing him to do any with your body. Your fucked out face pressed down onto the destroyed sheets. He helped your bare ass in the air, basically carrying you since your waist down was numb.

He could see everything. Your soft, plump ass on display just for him, your inflamed tender pussy leaking with essence and cum just for him, your whole self…just…for…him.

He smashed his full self into him, jerking your form forward before destroying your hole like a monster. 

“To-too much!” You were a weeping little thing from overstimulation.

“One more for me, baby.” His sloppy pace indicated that he was close, but he was determined to make you cum again. “I know you can take it. Squeeze your cunt around my cock.” He rubbed your mound aggressively as your eyes twitched. 

He pumped once more until you broke loose. Your thighs trembled, giving up right away, and you dropped onto the bed with Taehyung’s weight on you. You saw little twinkling stars with the occasional in and out blackness. You gasped harshly with your tongue out, attempting for more oxygen. You felt your squirting running down your and his thighs before seeping into the sheets. You leaked more than typical as you heard the light streaming noise.

Taehyung was not far behind as you heard him whimper. Then he drove his cock deep into you before splattering it onto your walls. He slowly pumped, helping his high with white ropes filling your cervix. He could only whine your name, peppering kisses onto your shoulder.

Heavy breathing resonated in the room, and the smell of sex lingered potently. Your perspiring skins stuck together, feeling your combined cum coming out of your cunt. Your drooping eyes slowly closed from the crashing tiredness, but you tried your best to stay awake. 

After staying in this position and the rush was over, Taehyung pulled out of you, and you whined at the sensitivity. He cooed softly and guided you on your side, giving you so much praise. He held your body, showered your entire face with kisses on your forehead, cheeks, and nose, and planted a big one on your lips. Though you were exhausted, the squirrels were back and running in your stomach. You weakly kissed back and hummed quietly.

He lets go of you to clean you up, trying his best to find your bathroom, other bedsheets, and a cloth. By the time he found everything, he had come back and saw you out like a light. Careful not to wake you up, but he doubted it, he wiped you clean and carried you up and out to the living room. He laid you on the area that wasn’t wet before running back to your room to change your sheets.

He finally finished everything and went back to you, still sleeping soundly and curled up like a cat. He laid you down on the fresh sheets before laying beside you. He wrapped his arms around your slumbered body, pulling your head to his chest.

He kissed the top of your head, feeling like he was in a dream. Your soft breathing and adorable unknowing movement to get closer to his heating body made his heartbeat quicker. It felt so right to be here with you. You were perfect, everything he wanted. He wanted you so badly, wanted you to be his.

“I love you.” Muffling into your strands. 

[krreader]

BTS scenario → calling him baby boy in front of others (mafia!au).

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: non idol!au ; mafia!au ; mentions of sex genre: crack ; hints of smut word count: 850+

a/n: heeeey love, hope you like your request :))

kim seokjin

Your husband was a dangerous man, but behind closed doors, when it was just you and him, he was a completely different person. He liked to be pampered, liked to be held, liked to be told that he was loved.

You'd never do this out in public, but this was your home and – you both – thought you'd have at least a bit of privacy here, if already barely in the outside world

Wrong.

“Do you need some cuddles, baby boy?” you smiled as you sat down on your couch next to him.

“Yes please...”

You gave him the cuddles,then had like 2 minutes of peace before someone cleared their throat behind you, both Jin and you jumping up, Jin instantly reaching for the gun.

“Oh, please... don't stop on our account,” Namjoon and Jeongguk both started laughing, “We didn't mean to interrupt your... cuddle session.”

“You might be the leader, Namjoon, but I'm still older and I will shoot you in the face if you keep this up.”

“Alright, alright...-” he had to force himself not to say baby boy in that moment and you could tell.

min yoongi

You could have jokingly called him baby boy, like you always did, at home, at any other given point in time. Any time... but you just had to do it in front of his 6 members.

“Hyung is a baby boy,” the drunk Jimin laughed, Namjoon toasting to that.

“Leave him alone, he likes to be pampered too every now and again,” Seokjin tried to defend his younger member, but Yoongi shook his head.

“It's fine... she calls me daddy too.”

Mic drop.

jung hoseok

Hoseok's personalities were so different when he was with his men vs. when he was with you.

Sometimes, that made you forget that not everyone was used to your dynamic and so when you met him at his base and greeted him, you accidentally called him “baby boy.”

Nobody laughed, nobody even dared to look at him, because Hoseok did. He stared at each and every one of them and tried to see if anyone had a reaction that he could kill them for.

None did, however.

“Not in public, babe,” he whispered in your ear afterward.

Almost would have gotten someone killed today. Not so fun times.

kim namjoon

Namjoon was sharing his screen in the meeting, all of them discussing their next attack, when suddenly, he received a message from you.

Only the first half of the message was shown, but that was the worst of it already.

“Hey baby boy, can you pick up some...-”

The entire room began to laugh, but it didn't faze Namjoon.

“You all laugh because you're single.”

And that, my friends, shut them up very quickly, because that was a fact and everyone wished they had someone as loving as you at their side.

park jimin

There he was, dressed completely in black, his blonde hair being the perfect contrast, his eyes dangerous as he was reading something that he clearly didn't like.

You walked into his office seeing only that and wanted to cheer him up, “You need a massage, baby boy?”

But when Jimin looked up at you and then suddenly to the corner of the room, you realized that he wasn't alone.

“Baby boy,” Taehyung, your brother-in-law, laughed, “Do your men know your wife calls you that?”

“No, and they won't or I'll kill you if you tell them,” the way he said it was so nonchalantly, but Taehyung knew that he had to shut his mouth or there would be consequences. Still, he chuckled.

Privately, he would never let this go.

kim taehyung

You and the other wives of your husband's mafia group were sitting together, laughing. Some of you have had a little bit too much to drink, you being one of them.

The current discussion was what you called your partner at home. The nicknames were very basic that the others had, but you just flat out said, very loudly so that your husband could hear you crystal clear, even though he was sitting at the bar on the other end of the room, “Taehyung likes to be called baby boy.”

The room became quiet, all eyes now on Taehyung, but he was focused on you.

Slowly, he got up, his hands in the pocket of his pants, and your friend to your left laughed and said, “Somebody's getting spanked tonight.”

jeon jeongguk

Everyone and their partner had a routine, right? Like, how you say I love you, or how you greet them or say goodbye to them?

So did you and Jeongguk.

Every time he came home, you greeted him with a kiss and, “Welcome home, baby boy.”

This usually ended in sex, with you being the dominant one because he, for once, wanted to let go.

Today, however, you weren't alone and you hadn't noticed his lackeys standing in the back having heard everything.

Jeongguk turned around, standing straight and looking them dead in the eye, “I'm going to have sex with my wife now. Please leave the bags and go.”

They ran... they ran.

[inkedtae]

a lover’s howl ⇾ kth. [M]

⟶ inspired by Howl’s Moving Castle and part of The Ghibli Series

⌁ pairing; howl!taehyung x reader (f.)

⌁ genre/rating; studio ghibli au, howl’s moving castle au, smut, a dash of fluff, a bit of angst, 18+

⌁ summary; an unforsaken spell blesses you with his presence again

⌁ word count; 4.1k

⌁ warnings; howl!taehyung, blonde!taehyung, bigdicc!taehyung, dom!taehyung, sub!reader, unprotected sex, rough sex, praise kink, dirty talk, oral (f. receiving), fingering, body worshipping, basically a moving amount of filth~ 

⚘ happy birthday juno ♡ (@onherwings​)~ 

⚘ a huge thanks to my beta readers, @kkulmoon​, @nottodayjjk​ and @uhgood-dooghu​, for taking the time to read this over and fix it up for me. it means a lot and i don’t think i will ever be able to thank you enough. also a special thanks @yeoldontknow​ for letting me talk at her, giving me ideas and always supporting me. I owe this fic being finished on time to you. 

The rumble of the train trembles the walls of your workshop. Black fumes cloud the moonlight. Your candles flicker atop your desk, threatening to diminish and leave you sewing in the dark. Weaving feathers in and out of a black hat, you’re too preoccupied with thoughts of him to be fazed by the sound. He writes often, enclosing a black feather with every letter, but doesn’t visit as much. You’re not sure what of this “important business” is so dangerous that you can’t come along as well. You have survived much worse, witnessed his near death and helped him rebuild his castle afterall. And though you told yourself countless times that there’s no good dwelling on the past, you can’t seem to stop wondering what exactly changed his mind. 

A prick of your thumb stings you out of your thoughts. In a jolt, you drop the needle and hat to shoot out of your seat with a hiss. You lick the wound before it bleeds then press your fingertip upon it. You hope the pressure subsides the wound long enough for you to fetch a bandage from the first aid kit. 

Now, where did Taehyung say it was? Something about a library... or was it a living room? You make your way up to the attic, hoping he did in fact mention the library. All you can really remember from that conversation was how handsome he looked in that pink coat you stitched up for him. It just frames his broad shoulder so well only to narrow around his thin waist. And then there was that knowing look in his eyes that told you he knew just how much you weren’t listening at all. 

“Baby,” he had whispered, cupping your chin. “Are you listening?” And once you had found the mental capacity to resist the urge to kiss him and slowly nod, he had smirked and repeated, “The kit is in-”

The library flickers to life when you enter. Dust settles upon every inch and you begin to wonder why he had forbade you from entering before as you scan the shelves for the kit. Leather bound books and tightly rolled scrolls reside on every surface. Trinkets of his journey clutter around as well. You had thought you talked to him about the importance of organization, but it seems that he prefers this mess best. 

Your attention settles on the desk, sitting in front of a large window. Presuming it’s probably in one of the desk drawers, you make your way over with the intention of rifling through them and nothing more. You’ve learned from past experience that it’s best to never tinker with his things. However, once you stand before it, a red, leather bound book catches your eye. The imprinted title is written in an unreadable script and seems to be floating off the cover. How could that dance off the surface like that? Against your better judgement, curiosity hovers your fingers over the font.

Slamming open, the book flips and flicks through various pages only to suddenly stop. Rose coloured font apperates into view in that unreadable script again. You furrow your brows, attempting to read it anyways, until the strokes of ink shift around the pages. They rearrange themselves into a script you can decipher. 

A Lover’s Howl. 

Yearning of heart and 

Tethers of soul.

I wish to end my misery

And the distance apart

Together unruly and-

The tremors of the train erupt every wall of the attic, pulling you out of your thoughts. Startled, you glance out the window to find that it is not the train at all you owe this rukkus to, but the upset clouds. Flashes of lightning burn the sky alight as rain beats down the busy street. 

You turn back to the desk and shut the book. That’s enough snooping for a night. You still have that first aid kit to find. Rummage through the drawers, you finally find a little tin of bandages under a box of rose and emerald ink pots. Teeth between the thin paper, you rip open the little bandage and wrap it around your thumb. However, it seems like once one wound is taken care of, another flames. 

Aching, your heart sits heavy in your chest. You take a deep breath, hands too shaky to return the kit back beneath the ink pots. The action seems to push the numb pain to your gut. A little whimper escapes you. You lean on the edge of the desk, inhaling sharply. You’re still breathing, you try to remind yourself. And that should be a comforting fact if your pussy didn’t begin aching as well. With a shaky gasp, you press your thighs together and wonder why the thought of being bent over this very desk seems to be unfathomably appealing right now. 

Your fingers hover over the pearl buttons of your dress; it suddenly seems awfully tight in this hot room. Wait- when did the room get so ho- “Agh,” you whine as another pang of pain makes you needier. 

The newfound heat suffocates skin, hands moving fast to push that blue dress off your shoulders. It doesn’t hit the ground before you start to discard your bra and panties as well. Still, your body burns with a desire to be overtaken. It’s as if you’ve been edged all day, left half finished and ready to finally unravel. Desperate to feel just that, you slide a hand down to your aching pussy. It clenches emptily, yearning for Taehyung's huge cock. God, it’s been too long since he last stretched you out. Nothing can ever quite compare to his size, your fingers and vibrator a weak excuse for anything besides clitoral pleasure.

Rubbing at your clit, you try to soothe the craving for him now. However, the pain only seems to intensify. It’s as if your body knows it’s not your own hand you crave, but Taehyung’s. And where is he now to graze your folds between his fingers and tease with little praises? You can just see him peeking up from between your legs, tongue poking out of his lips and breath fanning over your heat. And you’d push yourself up into him. So, he’d smirk and chuckle, and tell you to be patient or he won’t do anything at all. You can even hear him now, taunting at your desperate, half-naked state in the very section of the house he told you to never enter. 

“What did I say about looking through my things?” 

Hand cupping your heat, your attention snaps to the door. Taehyung leans against the doorframe, the candlelight sculpting his features sharply. His name leaves you in a whisper as you begin to wonder how desperate you are to have resorted to hallucinations? Maybe you should really call him if your mind’s gone this far. But, as you attempt to move around the desk, another shot of pain holds you back. You gasp a quiet cry and harshly rub circles around your clit. 

Concern colours Taehyung’s features. “Sweetheart,” he calls, rushing over to you. You’re about to pride your mind on such a vivid and accurate imagination when you feel his large hands settle on your arms. Soft and cold, he holds you tight and guides your hunched over frame onto the desk. Shrugging his coat off, he drapes it over your shoulders and asks, “What’ve you done to yourself?” 

“You’re here?” 

“I’m here,” he smiles. 

A breathless chuckle bubbles out of you as your hands wrap around his neck. Your arousal slicked hands stain his shirt, but he doesn’t seem to mind, pulling you into a tighter hug. “You shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters between peppering little kisses in the crook of your neck. 

His vanilla cedar scent coddles your heart and aches your bones. You whimper into his shoulder at how quickly the pain intensifies from a single whiff. Taehyung pulls half an inch away, concerned and confused. With his forehead resting against yours, he licks his lips and you can’t think of a better use for that tongue if not to lick at your pussy. The pain shoots at you again just as your thoughts become interesting. You swallow your whimpers as he brushes your hair out of your face.

His gaze falls to your bare chest before lingering around your pussy. Suddenly aware of your nakedness, you shyly press your thighs together. Every inch of you just wants to beg him for his cock already, no matter if you're bent on his desk or pressed against the window. You just need him on you, in you, touching every part of you. 

The courage to ask for what you want finally presents itself when he shifts his gaze to something behind you. You sneak a glance over your shoulder to find that open book. A little sigh escapes him and he returns his attention to you with a little smirk. “You missed me this much,” he teases, caressing your cheek, “that you just had to cast a mating spell, hmm?” 

Is that what that was? You weren’t even sure you could read it before it rearranged. You’re about to apologize when the pain cinches your words in your throat. Doubling over, you rest your head against his shoulder and whine, “Ah, Tae!” 

He wraps his arms around you, further engulfing you in his scent and you don’t think you can take much more of this. Whatever this mating spell is, you’re sure it’s not supposed to be tearing you apart. Clutching on the collar of his shirt, you mumble, “I need you, Tae. I need your mouth and fingers and- I just need you so bad.” 

You wish you can say you hate the way his eyes glisten with power. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he knew exactly how you were feeling and was just waiting for you to say it. He’s told you before that the sight of you so needy always awakes something dark within him. He loves to watch you whine and quiver. 

His hold on your face tightens as his fingers dig into your skin. You swallow thickly, another whine escaping from the mere thought of those fingers deep in you. He licks his lips before asking, “What do you need me to do so bad, sweetheart?” 

He trails his fingers down your neck, past your collarbone and the valley of your breasts; waiting, watching. When all you can muster is his name in a little mewl, he whispers, peppermint breath fanning over your face, “Do you want to start on your knees?” 

“Anything,” you gasp, tugging on his shirt. You just need him close, need him now. “We can do it anyway you want, just please fuck me already.” 

Surprise alights his eyes for a moment. Never have you spoken this crassly, without his cock already deep in you that is. He chuckles, on the verge of teasing you about it when another pained whimper escapes you. Taehyung settles his large hands on your thighs. Leaning in, he brushes his nose against yours then places a soft kiss upon the corner of your lips. “I know it hurts, sweetheart, but I can’t do much if you don’t tell me exactly what you want.” 

You pause for a moment, wondering how much clearer you could be. Usually, a declaration to be riled is enough to set him off. You’re never the one guiding him as he always insists on guiding you. He says it's because he loves how obedient you suddenly become when his dick is involved. And though you have tried to fight him on it in the past, there’s not much you can deny now. So, you bite back a whine until you have enough strength to order just above a whisper, “I need your mouth, Tae. You’re fingers too. Honestly, anything will do just as long as you're tasting me.” 

He bites back a chuckle as he lowers himself to his knees. Spreading your legs, he urges you to lean back a bit. The gesture pushes a variety of books and pens to the floor. Neither of you can be too bothered, however, with his face inches away from your pussy. 

Holding your gaze, Taehyung dives in. You expect him to lick a long strip up your pussy to start, as he always does, only to have him suction his lips around your clit. Either way, you’re sure the pain withers away. A relieved gasp echoes in the small room as you throw your head back. You can barely even feel the previous ache when he releases your clit to lap up your wetness. All you can focus on is how you missed his warm tongue. 

“Oh fuck, just like that,” you moan, eyes fluttering shut. Your hips roll up to meet his tongue, body craving more of him. 

“Keep talking to me, baby,” he mutters around a mouthful of pussy. “How fast do you want it?”

You run a hand through his hair and hold on tight. “Fast!” Taehyung groans against you, making your heart flutter enough for you to forget what more you wanted to say. Until a small ache pokes at your gut again. With a whine, you reply, “I need your fingers. I need you to shove them in me and lick me and make me cum. Fuck, Tae, just please make me cum.” 

Taehyung circles two fingers around your tight, little hole, muttering, “About time you remembered your manners.” 

Not much strength lives in you to tell him that you’ll remember your manners when he finally lets you come along with him to whatever “important business” that’s taken him this long. And even if you could speak, all you can really think about is how you missed his fucking fingers. So long and slender, they slide into you so far and curl just right.The pain dissipates and you throw your head back with a loud moan. You’re not sure what this spell was, but you’re thankful for it if it means bringing Taehyung back home. 

You attempt to ride his face again only to have him remove his lips. He smirks up at you, amused gaze peeking through his blonde bangs. His fingers quicken and bash just where you need them.

“Taehyung,” you sigh. Voice breathless, strained with the return of that painful, greedy desire to unravel, you whine, “I need your mouth.” 

He chuckles. You shudder. Has he been gone so long that you’ve genuinely forgotten just how much you adored that laugh? You’ve never been able to process the duality of it, the cheerful tone sounding so deep and dark.

“And what do you want me to do about that?” 

Oh, right. The spell. It only seems to let him follow your orders. You make a mental note to tease him about it later, the gnawing ache of your gut begging to be eased. Still, under your breath, you mumble, “Must I hold your hand through this?”

Taehyung clenches his jaw. His eyes blink cold, hard and darken into vexation. If he could, he’d smack your pussy, bend you over for a spanking only to edge you thrice before finally letting you cum. At least, that’s what he did the last time you talked back. Instead, he resorts to glares and little reminders to “behave” since “the spell will break before the night is over.” 

You shiver with every moan as you sit up. A few more scrolls roll to the ground from the shift of your position, but you pay them no mind. As the thunder roars beyond the little library, you cup Taehyung’s wet smeared chin and guide him back onto his feet. 

“All I can ever think about,” you start, attempting to speak through your moans, “is all the time lost not getting fucked in that moving castle.” 

“It’s d-”

“Dangerous,” you finish. “More dangerous than a mating spell? Than this stupid libr- fuck, I think I’m close.” You fall forward to rest your head against his shoulders. Taehyung scoffs and you don’t need to glance at his handsome face to know he’s smirking. You can hear it. 

Hand shooting to his wrist, you stop his fingers mid-thrust. The spell’s pain lingers around your pussy, tightening your walls around him. It threatens its return as your orgasm slowly disappears. He whispers your name, but you only meet his gaze when you’ve bitten every needy whine back long enough to say, “I just want you to fuck me like you want me.” 

“What makes you think I don’t want you?”

A little whine slips past your lips. Taehyung’s expression softens and he shifts in place, likely feeling helpless when you don’t allow him to ease the ache. “You left, Tae,” you sigh. “You left me here. I want you to fuck me like you never did. I want you to replace your fingers with your cock and touch me like you love me.”

Taehyung pauses. “You think I don’t love you?” 

Though the answer is on the tip of your tongue, you know better than to tell him it now. Taehyung is no fun to fuck when he’s genuinealy upset. And if you are going to be rid of this unforsaken curse, you know that you’ll need to keep the rest of your thoughts to yourself. So you let go of his wrist and the spell compels his actions once more. 

Taehyung removes his fingers then rids himself of his clothes. You can’t seem to keep your hands from wandering over his chest and clutching onto his shoulders. He smiles at you and, though it’s small, that smile of his makes you wonder if perhaps you’ve ruined the entire mood and now he’ll only fuck you because he wants simply to help. 

Then he seizes your hips. You’re pulled forward until the length of his cock presses between your folds. He strokes his nose along your cheek, wet lips whispering, “I think the real issue is how you have trouble following orders.” Rolling his hips against yours, Taehyung groans into the crook of your neck. “It looks like I have to show you how it’s done.” 

You lose your fingers in his hair, clutching onto his bicep with your other hand. You missed how much he loved to tease. Lips biting into your collarbone, Taehyung reaches a hand between your bodies to align himself. A gentle push in and you’re exchanging praises. He’s definitely been gone too long if you’ve forgotten just how big he is. His mere tip stretches you enough to lose all words, incoherent affirmations taking their place instead. Eyes rolling back, you thrust up to try meeting his hips halfway, but Taehyung grounds you in place. 

A specific speed never left your lips and you just now realized that fast is in fact Taehyung’s default setting when it comes to fucking you into submission. All the pain you thought was returning feels as though it never arrived at all. You’re about to tell him to thrust harder when he clutches onto your neck. 

He stares into your desperate eyes, his own looking needier than usual - a fact he has never enjoyed admitting. “Do you know how many times I almost used this fucking spell?” he hisses as his thrusts become harsher. “Every night, I stare at that fucking page and think about how pretty you’d look when you’re full of my cock.” He growls a curse under his breath. The hand around your neck tightens just to let go. As it trails down your body to cup one of your bouncing breasts, he groans, “You look even more beautiful when you’re desperate for it. Did you know that?”

You let out a shaky moan. Hands sweaty, you try to maintain your grip on his shoulders as he plays with your body like a passtime. He thumbs your nipple, gazing down at how you arch your back and push yourself further against him. Breathless from the sheer sight, he picks up his pace. The desk scratches at the floor with every thrust. Your moans drown its sharp creaks as Taehyung buries his face between your breasts. Licking and biting, he feasts on you like he never left, like he does this every night and still can’t believe he has you. 

Cradling his head closer, you feel that once painful ache in your gut tighten, twist and slowly begin to beg for a chance to release. And you know he can feel you inching closer as well, little praises pouring out of him between his appreciation of your chest. 

“That’s my girl,” he rasps. “Taking my cock so well.” 

True, you’re annoyed it took a fucking spell to bring him back, but you’d be lying if his insistence of you being such a good girl didn’t just replace all your anger with affection. “Taehyung!” you cry. 

You’re about to ask for permission when you recall the fickle detail that you are the one calling the shots this time. Even still, you try to subside your urge to cum long enough to ask, “I-it’s okay to cum, right?” 

Taehyung laughs against your skin. He trails quick kisses back up to your lips, only to mutter moments later, much to your constant whining, “You don’t need to ask this time, sweetheart.” 

Like being doused with cold water, you allow yourself to come undone. Fingers digging into his skin, eyes rolling back, you scream out his name over and over again with the rhythm of his hips. Every new thrust adds to the quaking of your body. It breaks in your voice as you cry out for him. 

“Does that feel better?” he teases, voice husky and strained. If that isn’t enough indication that he’s close, the little twitch of his cock gives it away. “Is my dick enough or do you want me to cum too?” 

Nails imprinting into his skin, you try to meet his gaze. “If you don’t cum in me right now,” you start, breathless and desperate, “I swear I’ll cry.” 

Taehyung nudges his nose against yours before pressing his lips to yours. He lets you swallow all his moans as he pulls you close by your ass and holds you tight. Then, he bites your lip and fills you until you’re stuffed with more than just his giant cock.

A few more rushed kisses and sloppy thrusts are offered before Taehyung ceases all movement. He rests his head on your shoulder, fingers still sunk into the curves of your ass. Sweaty, heaving exhaustion overwhelms your senses. Pussy pulsing, you find that the longer Taehyung remains in you, the more twinges of that pain return. You know you should tell him that, only you’re worried that he’d go the moment he pulls out. He has served the purpose of the spell after all. 

Taehyung stands straighter now that his breath has returned to him. He shifts his hands from your ass to your hips and gently pulls out. A hiss escapes him. You feel empty all over again. 

Crossing your legs, you softly push his hands off your hips. It might just be best to make this easier on both of you, you wonder, and give him a chance to go. Maybe that way it won’t feel as though he’s abandoning you. 

“I guess you have to get back then,” you say as you hop off the desk. 

You both know he can sense your discomfort. “I can stay for a little while.”

Grabbing your dress off the ground, you ignore the emotion in his words. “Lucky me,” you mutter, turning back to find him inches away. 

Eyes locked, Taehyung maintains his sincerity. He tentatively wraps his arms around your waist and, when you don’t interject, presses you against his chest. “I’m- I-” he stutters for a moment before the words come together once more. “I thought leaving alone would be the safest. I didn’t think it would take this long.”

You shake your head. He’s missing the point. It shouldn’t take a spell to compel him to return. He shouldn’t have left you alone. “It shouldn’t matter how long it takes. I should always be there.” 

Taehyung falls silent. Guilt flashes in his eyes as he reverts them to the floor. Swallowing thickly, he meets your gaze again to mutter, “I just can’t risk losing you again.” 

“Then don’t leave me alone,” you whisper. 

Taehyung pulls you into a warm hug. A tearful apology is mumbled into your shoulder. You’re not very interested in it though. All you want is him; with or without a lover’s howl. 

note; please do not leave hate towards me or any other readers. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work without my permission.

[gukguktae]

Namjoon (The one with forbidden tiny)

Read at your own risk, pleaZe! This is an 'imagine' use your imaginations. Don't get offended if I didn't perceived your perception because again that's your perception. Happy humping reading! 🥵 Reposting this bc i forgot to add tags, if you read it then... no you did NOT

Word count: fuck, i forgot 2 to 3k?? probably

Genre: College AU, dash of angst, pinch of fluff and a spoonful of smut

Title: The one with forbidden tiny.

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"Y/N!" Everyone got up on their feet when they saw you walking in the front door with luggage in hand. You decided to go straight to your friends dorm when you reached the university. Seven tall men crowd you, 4 of them you knew your whole life, while 3 is new to your eyes. You're incredibly tiny compare to these towers of men, having to look up to them as you greet everyone. "Come in, come in!" Taehyung your cousin took your bag and set it behind the sofa.

"Y/N, this is our friends Namjoon, Jimin and Jin." You smiled and shakes their hands, hugs here and there, "Guys, this is Y/N. My cousin and our childhood friend who happens to stop growing after 5th grade." With a fake smile on your face you punch Taehyung in the gut causing him to fold like flip phone.

"Nice to meet you guys! I was really excited to see you, actually I have 3 more days 'til I get my own dorm." The classes won't start in 5 days, you asked—begged, your mom to stay with Taehyung and his friends because there's really not much to do at home. "I'll stay with you guys, if that's okay. Taehyung can take the couch."

They chuckled and commented that they are happy to take you and cater for you. The 3 new guys are amaze by how small you are, being 4'9" isn't really something you like about yourself, having to dream about long legs ever since elementary, but they make it seem that it's your greatest quality. Taehyung settled your things in his room while trying to hide some of the clutter in his closet, "You still live like a pig, Taehyungie!" You didn't hide the grimace in your face as you made your way to his bed. "Just be thankful that I changed my sheet earlier!" You weren't sure if that should comfort you or spray Lysol all over his room until soaked. He scan the room for anymore things he should hide, "There, do you need anything?" You shake your head, "I'm good." The bed made a creaking noise as you sat down. "By the way, that Namjoon guy-" "Don't even think about it Y/N!" He took a step closer in his warning voice, but it didn't faze you. You might be tiny, but you can take Taehyung anytime. "I swear to God I will call Auntie right now to tell on you!" With the back of your right hand you smack his shoulders, "Will you chill? Christ! I was just going to ask what's his deal, he won't shut up about how small I am." Taehyung thin his eyes, trying to convince himself that you won't do something stupid, but it was hard for him because you're the epitome of stupidity. "Yeah, I noticed that as well. It's like you're the smallest person he ever saw in his life." "He's hot though-" "Y/N, I swear to God!" You chuckled and realize how much you miss teasing Taehyung and his protectiveness. "Just don't mind him. By the way, we have a party to attend to later, do you want to come?" Your first college party, "Yeah, of course. I'll change first, meet you downstairs?" He nodded then proceed to shut the door. Taehyung went straight to Namjoon, Jimin and Jin who all conveniently sitting in one sofa. "Y/N is off limits." Three men look at him in confusion, "Specially to you Namjoon-hyung!" "What did I do?" "You're so cute and tiny. I could just eat you up!" Namjoon was not impressed by how Taehyung mocked his low voice. "I am watching you."

--time jump--

Yoongi's car pulled up in front of another dorm, Hoseok, Jimin and you slide out, music was blaring so loud that you could hear from 2 blocks down. It looks like really fun, there are some people outside the house with drinks and smokes in their hands. Jin's car also pulled up, Taehyung immediately run towards you, "Oh, thank God! I thought you're already drunk!" You raised your eyebrow on him, "We've only been here for literally 5 seconds." "Dude, chill. Let her have fun this is her first party." You're savior Hoseok put his arms around Tae and drag him inside the party. Hoseok look back at you and wink, you blow him a kiss as a thank you. "Don't worry, we'll distract him with someone. You have fun and tell us if anyone bothers you!" Jungkook nudge you before running after them. Yoongi place an arm over your shoulders, "If you're going to do something stupid, keep it on the low, aight? This is your first college party." "You guys starting to scare us, is she really that wild at parties?" Jin butted in looking down at you, "She looks really innocent to me." Yoongi laughed that made you elbow his side, "I'm not wild nor stupid." You smiled and look up to him through your lashes boosting your innocence. You mentally promised yourself that you wouldn't do something stupid or something to disappoint Taehyung. "I was actually counting on you being one, let's go inside I need a drink." Jimin hooks his arms around yours to drag you away from Yoongi to enter the frat house. Namjoon and Jin was about to follow you two, but Yoongi grab Namjoon's arms, leaving both of the behind. "Don't even think about it, Joon." "What?" He stopped his tracks. Namjoom knows what Yoongi's all about, but it's not like he was going to act on it... he'll wait for you to act on it. "Don't play stupid. Taehyung's really protective of her, we all are, but he's different. He kinda promised his brother." Yoongi gave him an intense eye contact, Namjoon sigh in defeat. "Don't break up the band Yoko." He gave him one last pat before walking inside the party. You were already 2 cups down on beer, 1 tequila shots, 4 jello-shot, 1 edible and it's only been 30 minutes. Jimin keeps refilling your cup and introducing you to his friends who happens to offer whatever alcohol or stuff in hand. "Let's play beer pong, do you know how?" As soon as beer pong left Jimin's lips your body froze. "I.. uh... I can't." You pull yourself away, but he quickly snatch your arms dragging you to the table. "Jimin, I can't- if Tae saw me-" "Oh, sush! He's probably making out with someone right now." He handed you the ball, "Namjoon-hyung! You're playing?!" You look up to see a Namjoon and a girl beside him, "Y-yeah!" His eyes landed on you and then back to Jimin. Somehow  your promises to yourself about not doing something stupid became blurry in your head. Namjoon cute smile with dimples erases the oath, "I'll let you guys go first!" He shouted over loud music. "Yes, you go first and we'll beat your ass up!" The girl beside him slur. They seem to be close or is she his girl? I don't think so you thought. He doesn't seem to care about her like a girlfriend, but he's trying to steady her. A few shots passed, it's only been down between 2 cups each. Jimin admitted that his vision is getting blurry from drinking so he lay down for a bit and Namjoon's partner were already passed out about an hour ago. You yourself are a little tipsy, but you still can steady your toss. "Yeah! Drink up, darling." You mock as Namjoon took the liquid, he exhaled after grimacing. He made his toss in your cup too, "You might want to drink up as well, baby." The pet-name he's been calling you all night is making you to want him more, you groan as the liquid made a hot stream of line down your throat. "Okay, let's go Y/N don't fail me now!" You jump up and down to build up courage then tossing the ball. The crowd 'oohed' when the ball hit the cup's rim then falling off. Fuck! "Ooh, you did know that if I made this shot you have to drink both, right?" Namjoon's now is cocky, tounging his cheeks

and smirking at you. You know that it's the alcohol thinking, but damn he's really hot as fuck. How can a man in a simple white shirt and sweat short looks this hot? The silver hair really didn't help your case, specially his bulge that's been prominent all night. No wonder why all the girls is on your side of the table because this view is just immaculate. "If you made it-" His fans beside him cheered as the ball made a splash in the cup. He took the small shot in his hand and slow stride to you, he lean against the table that somehow made him level with you... almost "Wow, you're really gonna make a girl take two shots-" He put the glass in his lips and pull his head back, "Nice game-" "Y/N!" Taehyung's voice booms, "Did you play? You're drunk already are you?! We need to get you home!" he place his hand on your shoulder and level himself. With both of your hands you remove his grip, "Will you chill? Let me enjoy myself for tonight and I am not drunk." yet... you think? "Taehyung, there you are! C'mon, Jessa- Jaila- Jessica- fuck what is her name again? Whatever, she's looking for you!" Jungkook quickly pulled him away before turning to you. "Sorry, he slipped." You thanked him once again before turning to Namjoon, "I need another drink. Do you want to come?" He nodded and walked behind you, his hands were carefully placed on your shoulders guiding you to the sea of people. His hands were warm and enormous for your shoulder. He was greeted by his friends and some girls— who gave you stinky eye for being with him, but you didn't care. Both of you stopped in the kitchen isle, "What's your poison?" You asked while mixing your own drink. "Jack and coke. 70/30" Namjoon eyed you as you mix his drink. You pour it carefully not to spill, it'll just show him how tipsy you are right now. "Thanks. Do you want to go outside, I have some friends there." Like a puppy you followed Namjoon, but your hands and his are intertwine, you just noticed it when he gave it a squeezed. You reached the backyard and there's a few people who's minding their own business. Making out, smoking on a bong,  or just playing their own music.. basically just kids having fun. "Joon! What's up, man?" One of the lawn chair guys stood up for him, it kinda made you sad that he lets go of your hand to hug the dude, so you just took a sip on your drink.  "Is that your girl?" Namjoon turn to you and place his hand on your back, "Ah, this is Y/N. Taehyung's cousin... and a friend" You smiled brightly, "Hi! Nice to meet you!" He offered his hands, which you took gladly, but they were cold from holding his cup, "I'm Jackson, by the way. Namjoon is terrible at introduction." He earned a glare from Namjoon who made himself comfortable on a lawn chair. "He is, isn't he?" You shake your head jokingly. Jackson went back to his chair as well and realized that you don't have one. Both men offered their chair, but you refuses. "Oh, no please. I'll sit here." You're tiny body fits perfectly in Namjoon's lap, you were sitting sideways, legs dangling on the armrest of the lawn chair, "You don't mind do you?" His wide eyes and stutter in his exhale made it too obvious, "N-no. It's fine." Jackson had a smirk on his lips turns into chuckles, "I like you, you're evil." his reaction were quickly brushed away when someone greeted him. Now that you are closer to Namjoon, you could smell his cologne with the mixture of alcohol from his breath. His left arms supporting your back while the other is on top of your knees with a drink in hand. "I'm not evil," You look Namjoon through your lashes and quickly switch to your bedroom eyes and whispered,  "I'm a good girl." Namjoon's eyes widen, "I don't think you are." his adam's apple went up then down. His eyes soften when you pouted, acting like a brat is your specialty, it's part of your personality in and out the room. "What are you doing?" His breathy whisper betrayed him while trying to compose himself. You shook your head and reposition yourself in his lap, the side of your hips touching his shaft. Gasping a

little and looking at Namjoon making him red. Because his cover is blown, he was hard. The moment you sat on his lap and feeling the softness of your ass made him hard then you whispering that you're a good girl sends him over the edge, almost. "I need to refill my drink-" You teased. "Don't you fucking dare stand up." His whole look changed, hooded eyes and clench jaw made you shudder, but you hide your fear– lust, in a cheeky smile. "Jackson, could you refill Y/N drink as well?" The man nodded as he pour you a beer from the tap next to him then returning to his own conversation with another friend. "I could actually do it myself you know."  You lean back, almost lying across him. He tongue his cheeks, "He was right you are evil." Namjoon smirked as he get close to your ears, "Don't fucking toy with me, I can take you anywhere in his house. I will make you scream like a good girl you are." Licking the shell of your ear gave you goosebumps. Trying your best not to get fazed by his threat– promise. "Highly doubt, but I'd like to see you try." You took a big gulp from your cup while watching Namjoon's reaction. You felt him twitch. Rolling your hips a little to tease him more, but he grab your hips, but using his left arm to stop you. "I think I can make you cum in here, I really like to see you fall apart, Kim Namjoon." His jaw clenches harder, thinking how right you are. He doesn't really like being teased, but one good roll of your hips and a kiss is his weakness as of the moment. He doesn't know what is happening to him right now, he was so attracted to you, your presence alone made him horny. He's already practicing his apology, in his head, to Taehyung because it's impossible to keep his hands to himself, specially if you're provoking every inch of his body. Namjoon placed his hands on your nape and push his lips on yours, he couldn't help himself. He wasn't sure if it's your teasing and cockiness or the fact that both of you are just drunk, but this is the first time he broke a promise to a bro. Usually, he can control himself, but his libido is all over the place. You can taste the alcohol from his lips, he groan as you slid your hands and play with his nipple through his shirts. "Y/N! Y/N! Taehyung's coming, he's looking for you!" You pulled away as Jimin taps you aggressively, "I know you like to play tongue tango, but he's drunk and furious." You stand up and Namjoon followed to hide behind you, his bulge rather With annoyed and knitted brow you huffed on Jimin, "What's that got to do with me?" "He wants to go home and said you're coming with him." He shrug and turn around to see Taehyung stomping with Jungkook running behind him. "Speaking of the-" "We're going home." He said sternly. "No-" "Yeah, we should. You're guys are drunk, let's find Jin." Namjoon squeeze your shoulders accepting defeat. As soon as Taehyung hit the couch he passed out, Namjoon had to carry Jin to his bedroom and Jimin drove back to the party to "get fucked up". The others were MIA and Namjoon assured you that they're going to be fine. He was huffing while running back down, "God, Jin-hyung's a handful when he's drunk." Using his arms he wipes the sweat on his forehead. "I'd rather have a handful cousin, than this-" You flick Taehyung's forehead that made him groan and turn over, "party pooper!" Namjoon let out a chuckle, "So, I guess good night?" "Yeah, I... guess?" You made eye contact with him and bit your lip.  You grab his shoulder to pull him down, but that wasn't enough you had to tip toe just to give him a kiss on his cheek. "Good night, Namjoon." He was stunned, you let go of his shoulder, but he quickly grabs your wrist. "What?" "I.. uh.." The tension thickens, "Ah, fuck it!" Namjoon place his hand on your neck and lean down to kiss you. His lips were eager as his tongue, placing both of his hands on your waist. You already knew what he wanted, without breaking the kiss you jump as he pull you up, wrapping your legs around his torso. His hands were quick to find your ass and gave it a smack while walking to

his room just across the living room where Taehyung's sleeping soundly. He let go of you in his bed, the spring made noise as you bounce up and down. The room was dim, the lamp shade in his desks that faces the wall sets the mood better. Namjoon grab the back of his shirt and pull it off, your breath loses it's steady when you saw his body. You don't know if he's flexing right now, but his tits and abs are well sculpted, you swallowed hard before you drool all over his bed. "Loving what you see?" He was smirking at you. "Very much so."  You bit your lip and grab the band of his sweat short to pull him closer. Your lips found each other again, as hungry as before. He remove your crop top, breaking the kiss, but connecting again. He hum and smiled when he realized that you're not wearing a bra. Huge hand palm your boob, he pulled away to suck on your hard nipples, flicking his tongue over and over. You held your moan, keeping in mind that you're not alone in the house, he let go with a pop, "You can be as loud as you can, every room is sound proof." Namjoon pull down your shorts together with your panties, he didn't waste anytime after pulling you in the edge of the bed. His height kneeling were perfect access to you wet pussy. "You're dripping, baby." Using his thumb to smear your own juices all over before giving a soft lick. "Fuck." Your head fall right back on the bed.  He flicks on your nub using his tongue, what makes arched your back is when he push two digits inside you then spreading, curling– his fingers brush the side of the spongey button inside you, getting you close to the edge. "Nam-Namjoon!" You called, he stop his mouth, but kept his digits inside. "Do you want to cum? For me?"  He keeps on penetrating, just keeping you on the edge. Your high waiting, almost slipping away from you. "Are you going to be a good girl?" You nodded, "Yes, I will. Please!" "Please, who?" "Please, Namjoon! I want to come! Make me come!" You cried, "I want to come for you!" He went back to lick your sensitive bud and his fingers stroked even faster, you don't know how's he doing it but his finger and tongue are in sync. Your orgasm flashes— hard, to the point you're closing your legs, but he uses one of his arm to keep you open for him, "Nam-namjoon, fu-fuck fuck!" He let go of you clit, but he continues to massage your walls making you scream his name. "Let it all go, baby." His voice is low and determine, a spritz made him stop, pulling out his digits and standing up to have a better look as liquid gushes from your core. "That's a fucking good girl." He matured while watching you quiver from waves of pleasure, you didn't notice how he took his fingers on his mouth for a taste. Smiling to himself on how sweet and tangy you tasted. Namjoon took a condom out from his drawers, before pulling down his sweat shorts together with his boxers down to his ankles. "Are you good baby?" He josh, as you come down from your high, embarrassed on what he just made you do, but at the same time you're thankful. "I've never done that before, that was so good." You pant. Shooting your head up again and found him stroking himself while staring at you. "You-" "You look hot, damn." He beat you to it, you move back to get to the center of the bed and he crawl forward to you. "Now you make me feel good." Namjoon lay on his back and handed you the packet of condom. Giving his cock a good look, before opening the plastic. He's big, you are pretty sure that his shaft will reach your stomach and fill you up, prominent veins that runs all over and the pink tip made you giddy and dripping for him, literally. He help you roll the condom while you pinch the tip. Straddling him and position his shaft in your entrance, he gave you control of the pace, but still afraid of his size. The wetness that pools in your center helps, he did prep you good for him. He's grunting and rubbing your thigh as you slowly push yourself down on him, your soft walls stretching. It took a little while for you to reach all of him, you place your hand on his chest for

balance while looking for a comfortable position. You could feel him touch your cervix, it's painful at the same time pleasure consuming you. Knowing he can feel it too as he calls your name and moans getting louder, you touch his face to make him look at you. You started moving, spelling 'coconut' and your name in cursive using your hips. A little trick that you read when you were in high school that now comes in handy. Now it's part of your routine when you're on top, apparently it works on Namjoon too much as he grab your waist and guide you. "Holy fuck, Y/N!" Namjoon thrust his hips meeting you as you bounce up and down his cock, your bounce no matter how high you never meet the tip, he is that big. Feeling the familiar knot in your stomach, you lay on top of him to give him the control "I'm coming, Namjoon!" Your walls clenches that made him grunt. "Hold it in, baby." He suck on the lobe of your ear and hugged your waist to keep your hips down, "I want to feel you as I come." You whimper in his order, trying your best to hold it in. Denying your orgasm isn't really your kink, but you'll do anything for him if he uses that low and throaty voice on you. "Fuck, fuck. I'm almost there." Whimpers from your lips filled his ears the reason he's grunting while sucking your shoulders. He's getting riled up that you're in distress trying to obey him, maybe he has a daddy kink? you thought in the midst of what's happening in your head and center. Wondering didn't last long though as you gush on his cock, mind went blank, eyes rolling at the back of your head as he continues to fuck you. The extreme wave of orgasm made you shake and cry for his name as he try to soothe you with low sound of moaning, your hips keeps moving as you try to prolong your high. Namjoon steady your hips, "That's enough, baby. You'll kill me." Sweats forming in his forehead, he must have came. As your mind gets to work again, you could now feel how warm he made your inside. "You're yummy." Giggling then giving him a peck before slowly pulling out to lay next to him. His throbbing cock still hard and twitching from his own orgasm. "You're tiny and a good girl" He pant, removing the condom from his shaft. Skillfully tying and covering with a tissue before tossing in the trash. "Do you want to go or do you want to stay?" He asked without looking at you. You squinted your eyes, "Are you kicking me out?" "What-" Panic painted his face, "Oh God, no! No- I mean Taehyung might see you walking out from here and I don't want you to get in trouble."  His answer soften you, spreading the covers as he lay next to you placing his buff arm under your head. Whiffing his cologne and deodorant made you pull yourself closer. "He's a heavy sleeper, I'll sneak out later." Closing your eyes and inhale all of him. --- bonus: MORNING AFTER The bright light coming from the window made you sat up. Shit. You tap Namjoon's chest, "We fell asleep!" You grunted looking at the clock that read 6:18am. Praying to God that Taehyung is still passed out. Namjoon rub his eyes and yawn, he's much calmer than you are as you frantically looking for your things and wearing what you can find. "He's probably still asleep, he' pretty fucked up last light." His word came out as grunt as he stretches. Now that you're wearing your top and shorts, rushing to the door and slowly opening it. Taehyung wasn't on the couch anymore, you figure he probably in his room or– on leaning on the fucking wall with eyebrows knitted, like he's been waiting for you all night. "Hey, couz!" You smiled and tried to hug him, but he used his palm to your face to stop you. "Don't fucking, 'hey couz' me." Taehyung was so furious he didn't even tried to mock your voice. Removing his hand on your face you explained yourself, "It's not what it looks like. We just passed out, nothing happened! Really-" "Y/N, you left your pant- Oh" Namjoon quickly shove your undies in his back pocket. "Hey, Tae! Good morning, dude!" Taehyung tongue his cheeks with cold glare for both you. Swallowing hard knowing that

you're done. So done. •♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡• BTS masterlist

[syubub]

BTS cuddle habits

Hi guys! I wanted to have a fun little silly read on what their cuddle habits are! It's cute and light and soft so I thought it might be nice!

Disclaimer: this is entertainment only and not to be taken as fact. This is only my interpretation!

Oki let's begin

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Seokjin

The first thing I thought of when I saw this is that he's not a strong grip cuddle kinda guy

He's more of the "if you're there and need cuddles I'll do it I guess" kinda guy

I think too he's very vigilant and whomever he is cuddling he is very aware of how to maximize the other person's comfort?

Like it almost seems for him, he'd be fine without cuddles

It's just not important to him as much as it is for others

But he knows that some people feel good when they get cuddles

So

All this to say

He doesn't preticularly seek out cuddles and prefers to be the one doing the cuddling

He knows that it's a way to give others comfort

It's definitely a low energy kinda thing for him too

I think any kinda pseudo cuddle would be preferable

Like, "I'm laying next to you and tapping your head, does that count"

Lol

It's a way to show comfort and to show that he's there for the person.

Definitely takes that time to learn more about why the person might be sad or in need of cuddles

It's a perfect time to talk it out

Definitely platonic cuddles wouldn't faze him at all

10/10

Very comforting

He'd give advice if needed or prompted

Wouldn't particularly tangle himself up with the other person

More like comforting "I'm here for you" back rubs and taps

Playing with hair

Yoongi

STOP

Yoongi no

Okay

So

He's definitely more cuddly with his s.o than he his with friends

His cuddle style is very balanced

Probably likes to mirror his cuddle buddy

So like, facing each other

Probably holding hands

Also spooning and he'd be down for little spoon or big spoon depending on how he's feeling

Let me get a bit honest here

Cuddling for yoon is like holding the entire world

Sounds dramatic lol

It's a super intimate thing to share personal space like that

Even more than sex for him because the only objective is comfort and holding space for him and his person

Kinda. Intimacy in any form that it takes is really special and intense for him when it regards someone he truly cares for

This is about cuddles and not about how yoongi regards the act of bumping uglies

So

Platonic cuddles are a little less... wanted for him

Not that he hates it or anything. He just likes his space and would actively search for platonic cuddles often if every (if he knew a more physically affectionate person really needed to be held and comforted he wouldn't mind providing that but its just not something he typically looks for)

Because the thought of sharing such close personal space with someone is quite.. daunting? He feels a bit flustered

This is all heavily focused on yoongi preferring to have his cuddles with the people that he has the utmost respect for and trusts with his life

Definitely most comfortable with a romantic partner though

Definitely would love to have his hair played with and would reciprocate the favor

When things get rough in his head I think he would prefer to be held

Or like

I heard "held together"

Oof yoobi

Overall it's seems to be an act of trust and love and respect and anyone who gets a yoongi cuddle should feel honored

You guys

Just look at this cards

I CANT

Hoseok

Yo

Hobi Is definitely an enthusiastic cuddle buddy

Probs prefers to hold the other person

Definitely loves platonic cuddles all the way

Very much physical affection

Also very light and fun and giggly

Like, yoons is a more emotionally heavy feel

But hobis is so light and fun and recharging

It's not the destination

Like its not an event to have cuddles for him

It's almost as natural and fluid as just going in for a hug?

It's a continuation of a hug

Hobi snuggles more than cuddles?

Like any burst of affection he just goes in for a snuggle squeeze

I think as a human his body temperature is just always warm too

Versatile cuddles

Kinda octopus-esque

Can be kinda like a quick little battery charge for him

A good solid hobi cuddle would be like transporting to a new world where there are no worries

Very nice and secure

Would probably like sunshine cuddles or outdoor cuddles (without bugs)

I think sometimes he just likes to share his space with other people

Very warm friendly lovely I love it

Namjoon

Joon

Joo

Bb

Soft

Talk about tension release lol

Cuddles for him aren't something he seeks out often but when he does...

It's like taking the cap off of a soda

Definitely a daydream type

Idk why but I think he cuddles himself? Like when he's super stressed

He probably hugs himself

Or maybe he has a weighted blanket?

He definitely has a calm way to sooth himself

But with other people

I think he likes more mellow, soft type cuddles

Definitely a repetitive movement type of person

Like gently tapping/patting or making shapes

I can't tell of he would like that or if that's what he does

Probably drifts to sleep if cuddling for a longer time lol

It's very seren and lovely energy tbh

A sleepy morning type of cuddle would probably help him calmly sort his thoughts and plans for the day

Just time to exist

Platonic cuddles y e s

Like I said, it wouldn't be something that I would see him searching for often at all

But its very helpful for him when he does

This makes me think of one time I went to a park with my friend

we found a nice patch of soft grass and had a nice little cuddle just existing in each others presence and feeling a nice soft breeze bring in the sweet summer smell

It was just kinda like time stopped and I could daydream and look at my priorities without feeling overwhelmed by them??

Like having a person physically with you to anchor you to reality and provide comfort

Idk it's just such a nice lovely type of thing that is really special when those moments come around

Jimin

Definitely loves cuddles

We know this

But this is really sweet

It's very emotionally fulfilling and I think it's an easy way for him to show his love and appreciation for someone

This sounds dumb but I think he physically tries to morph his body to other people?

Like cling film?

It's really cute?

Tbh any kinds of cuddle is a good cuddle for chim

I think physical touch just in general is really important for him

cuddles make him feel loved bc sometimes he needs to be reminded

Definitely will cuddle or be cuddled

With the 8 of wands I think he just kinda goes with the flow really

The ace of cups makes me almost see it as an exchange of energy?

Like swapping good vibes or recharging your good vibes

It's really sweet

I bet he'd be the type to make it a special event on occasion

Like all the blankets and pillows and a movie or book or album or something

And just be comfy

Comfy is the best way to describe this

Comfy

10000% platonic cuddles

No one is spared

(Some are spared)

It's not like he's attached to them or needs them to breath

But physical touch is really important for him

And this is very optimal

I also think he'd be the type to go for drive by cuddles?

The 8 of wands can be a fast card so

Quick cuddles

Little snuggles

V good

10/10

wouldn't mind face to face cuddles at all

THIS ALL JUST FEELS SO WARM AND NICE

like a freshly washed blanket that's all warm and smells nice

Yes

Taehyung

Jesus

It was hard enough trying to interpret normal cards and you throw me this shit??

Here we go

It's definitely a mental resting point to have some good cuddles

Tae can be quite a physical person too so it doesn't suprise me to see

It almost feels solitary?

But not physically obviously

Kinda like joon he really benefits from having a reality anchor

But

He might be physically resting

And his mind is resting too

But??

It's like he fucking Astral projects or some shit

Hear me out

It's like having a safe and comfortable environment being with someone you trust

He just kinda

Lifts up??

Like this might seem like daydreams to him but it's like... the Astral?

Lol definitely unexpected

It's not like this everytime

He benefits from cuddles when he is having a hard time and needs comfort

Also just because it's something that he finds relaxing

But like, let me explain

Death is like letting go of attachments

Four of swords can be like meditation

Wheel of fortune can be like opportunity or destiny?

And like, we all know tae has his angel and stuff

I think maybe his angel or guides or whatever take any opportunity where he is in a good enough state to just... yank him up to them??

THIS SOUNDS DUMB

But think about it

If he's comfortable and in a mental state where this is possible, it would be the perfect opportunity??

Like?

I want to expand on this later maybe

It doesn't exclusively happen when he's cuddling its just a time where his mind is open to it?

Also yes platonic cuddles yes yes yes

Wtf tae?

Jungkook

These are all the cards that came out and all of them are relevant apparently

So

Firstly let's look at that lovers card and the magician

He's definitely down for a good cuddle and it's a sign of trust for him

Having a nice restful time where he can idly chat with someone probably helps him work through situations in his head

The magician can signify a powerful man...

I think he really enjoys being held and like, holding people tightly

Like it feels more secure like that

Definitely a release of stress and worry

Probably prefers cuddles more in the evening after he's worked hard and done stuff bc then he feels like he's earned the right to relax

Definitely down for platonic cuddles but with people he knows super well

This might sound weird but

I bet if the chance to cuddle arrives and it's not a suprise like "hey come here and cuddle" kinda thing he'd prepare

Like if there was a movie night and he knows it's gonna be nice and comfy he'd probably wear his favorite hoodie or shirt or whatever and pjs or sweatpants or whatever

Whip out the nice body butter

Some good smells

Fresh fabric softener smells

In a 100% not creepy and very platonic way

That sounds sarcastic but its not

Its called self care

Would also be the type to seek out cuddles if he has a bad day

Like the kind to flop down beside someone or put his head in their lap and just non verbally demand cuddles?

Like, have you ever been super frustrated and you just need someone to pet your hair? Or like hold you bc your working out your own shit internally?

Yes

It probably doesn't happen often and not when something really big is bothering him

Just smaller things

Would like repetitive motions/soothing motions

The six of swords make me think soft rocking would put him directly to sleep lol

Kinda like cars too

Very nice very nice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was intresting and I didn't really know what it would be like but I didn't think it would be this lol tae was unexpected

Who are you guys most like? I think I'm maybe part jungkook and part yoongi? I'm not the most touchy feely person with friends but I am a lot more with partners. Jungkookie style cuddles is me when I'm around people that I've know for forever and are really good friends. Pull out good blankets, clothes, candles ect. Anything for optimal comfort. Joon style cuddles definitely sound like the most relaxing thing in the planet and makes me a bit nostalgic

[snow-143]

late nights gaming- bts smau |

seven- hide your bitches (written 0.7k + smau) |

warning: it’s unedited and hardly proof read |

—————

‘is he still here?’

‘who?’ shifting my gaze to were my coworker is looking i sigh. ‘oh him. yeah i asked before and he said “he’s waiting for someone”. that was 3 hours ago.’

‘looks like he’s been stood up, win for us though he’s cute.’ stacy giggles.

‘you should see his friends, you just missed them when you started your shift.’ his friends had left a couple of hours ago, right after taehyung had handed me his number.

‘you can have them i’ll take him.’ smirking she walks over to his table.

i watch for a little amused by her antics before a customer walks in and i get back to work.

‘pfft.’

‘what happened?’

‘was more interested in his game then the snack thats right in front of him.’

‘his loss.’ i muse.

‘whatever i’m going to head out early. you alright with closing without me?’

‘yeah course i’ll be fine. looks like i’ll have some company anyways.’ nodding my head to the direction of the lingering boy i laugh.

‘yeah well i’ll see you tomorrow.’

‘see you.’

beginning to wipe down all the tables i hope he gets the message. he doesn’t.

moving on to the machinery i begin to shut it all off. when this doesn’t faze him i begin shutting off some of the consoles.

still nothing.

finally reaching him he still doesn’t notice me.

i clear my throat.

even tap him on the shoulder.

eventually i have enough and just spin his chair around not caring if he loses his game.

‘HEY WHAT THE HELL.’

‘wow finally a reaction. we’re closing up, sorry you gotta go.’

‘oh right yeah sorry about that.’ he sighs.

letting the curiosity win i ask, ‘person never showed?’

‘i don’t know.’

‘how could you not know? too involved in your game?’ i joke.

laughing at this he elaborates, ‘uh no actually i don’t know what they look like.’

‘ohhh i get it.’

‘you do?’ he seems startled at this, his head tilted and his eyes wide looking up at me. cute. i think before shaking it off.

‘yeah like a blind date, right?’

‘oh… uh yeah sure a blind date.’

‘did you not get their contact?’

‘yeah but it’s kind of complicated.’ looking down he scratches his head messing up his blonde locks.

realising how intrusive i’ve been i clear my throat, ‘right sorry i’m being nosey. i should really lock up though.’

‘oh shit yeah.’ he stands up before i can back away, causing us to be face to face.

he’s a little but taller so i still have to look up a bit but not so much as to strain my neck.

taking a deep breath in out of shock i can smell his cologne and god does he smell good.

looking down at me he looks just as shocked as i feel making me snap out of it.

backing up i continue to turn the computers off to busy myself.

when i’m finally done i turn around to the sight of him still standing there.

‘want some cake?’ i smile.

‘what?’

‘cake. do you want some? just there’s spare and i couldn’t possibly eat it all.’

‘i mean i’ll never turn down some cake.’ he smirks at himself and the double meaning of his word making me roll my eyes as if i weren’t thinking the same thing. he doesn’t need to know that.

‘what would you like? there’s chocolate, victoria sponge, carrot and even some matcha left.’ i say as i walk to the counter, him following not far behind.

‘mhh this is a hard one.’ this time i can’t keep the small laugh in which seems to amuse him.

‘really feeling the chocolate cake tonight though.’ he adds.

pouting i begin to pack the slice in one of our to go boxes.

‘s’wrong? you want that one.’ he coos.

furrowing my brows at his tone i grunt out a maybe, not amused at his teasing.

‘mh i guess i’ll just have to buy you some another time.’

thankfully my back is faced to him so he can’t see my blush. did him and his friends make a bet or something? who can pick up the girl because thats two of them now.

‘another time?’

‘i mean it’s only fair, isn’t it?’

‘i suppose…’

‘then it’s settled.’

a/n: things are kinda getting complicated now ahhh… idk how i feel about tae yet but we’ll see 😩

this is the first written chapter and i’m not sure how i feel about it but hopefully yous like it :)))

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[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song ii.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher living with your best friend, and have never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, things are heating up! the phrase ‘dilf dick’ gets thrown around way too much, RJ and taehyung cameo, hoseok, yoongi and namjoon are mentioned, as well as jungkook if you squint words; 12,169

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

After Seokjin dropped you off at the station, he and Arin waving you goodbye, it would be two weeks later when you saw him again. Not that you were holding out on it or anything… No way… That would be ludicrous.  

The last week of school was always hectic, activities and games top priority now that teaching had come to a standstill. The children were hyper, the teacher’s worn out, but without fail you always looked forward to the summer fate. Head of the committee every year, you and a handful of your fellow teachers organised each game, each stall and each prize. As well as wanting the children to have fun, it was also an opportunity to celebrate their achievements throughout the year with their families. There were an arrange of awards for most subjects, third through to first place for each grade, and this year you’d convinced the principal, Mr. Jung, to include a new creative writing award. It wasn’t technically a subject – you already had the spelling bee for English class, but he’d thought it was a great idea to celebrate the students’ talents in a brand new way. 

Of course, there was one child you had in mind when you’d gone to him with the idea – Arin. It was only fair in your eyes, she’d been with you not even three months and hadn’t had a chance like the other kids. The other awards were spoken for but you wanted her to at least get something, just so first grade could end on a good note for her and help her look forward to September. 

You were at the entrance of the fate, in casual conversation with Mrs. Jeon as well as greeting the students’ families, when you caught a glimpse of Seokjin. He was hand in hand with Arin who skipped happily beside him. He was wearing a sea green thin sweater, that blew in the light breeze, and black jeans. He was even in sneakers. Way more unbelievable than the slippers. He looked effortlessly good, and you thought you preferred him like this, casually dressed. The suits were great yes, but he looked far more attainable like this. Not that you wanted to attain him. 

Damn it. 

You tried your best to ignore the strange heat that had seemed to settle in your chest at the sight of him, the faintest flurry of what could only be described as butterflies aggravating your stomach. What the hell? What was wrong with you? 

“Hello, Miss.” Arin grinned, giving you a small wave, and you shook yourself out of it. 

“Hi, Arin,” you waved back, of course catching Seokjin’s eyes in the process. 

“Miss. Y/L/N,” he greeted, the hint of a smirk across his mouth. Teasing, again. Two could play at that game. 

“Mr. Kim,” you replied, unable to keep a straight face – especially when you heard him laugh as he passed by you. 

You watched him walk off, secretly pleased now that you knew he was here. You wouldn’t admit it out loud, wouldn’t dare tell anyone, but you’d been hoping he’d be free to attend the fate. To see Arin receive her reward, of course – nothing else. But, okay, maybe you had spent an embarrassingly long time choosing which dress to wear last night. Not that you wanted to impress him, more like… stand out. 

“Who is he?” Mrs. Jeon whispered animatedly – hopefully out of earshot and once again knocking some sense back into you. 

You tried to sound casual, like you weren’t aware of Seokjin’s jaw-dropping good looks – or more so, that they didn’t affect you whatsoever. “A student’s father.”

She made a noise of disbelief. “He is just pure… sex on legs.”

“Eunbi!” You exclaimed, taken by such surprise you used her first name. She burst out laughing, something you couldn’t ignore and ended up in a fit of giggles yourself. 

“Behave.” You warned, trying to compose yourself. “You’re a married woman.” You’d attended her wedding last summer, bringing along Soojung as your plus one. 

“Looking is still allowed,” she replied, making you both explode into laughter once again. 

You were giddy. Really, what was up with you?

.

.

The afternoon was a success, the children and their families enjoying immensely, as well as the teachers. It was your job to announce the creative writing reward and it was so heart-warming to see how happy it made Arin to come first place. She held her little trophy and movie theatre vouchers proudly for the camera, Seokjin looking just as over the moon as her. Mr. Jung convinced him to join for a few snaps and you looked on with a polite smile. Other than earlier and a thank you as you passed the prize to Arin, those had been your only interactions with Seokjin for the day and now the fate was drawing to a close. You wouldn’t say you were disappointed, because that would be preposterous, but if those were going to be your only exchanges then it made the times he’d fleeted into your mind these past couple of weeks highly embarrassing… 

It wasn’t as if you wanted to think about him, he just kept popping up. First you blamed Soojung, who wouldn’t shut up about Mr. Dilf for a few days after the exchange at his house (mansion), but soon the topic bored her, no new developments to keep her hooked. You on the other hand found yourself imagining instances where you’d bump into one another again. You know, happenstances… Like if he had the time to drop Arin off at school, although you doubted he’d end up in the staff parking lot again… You’d had a good giggle to yourself remembering his face when he’d realised. 

Other incidents were less realistic, like maybe he’d drop off a thank you present the students liked to gift to say goodbye, or maybe you’d bump into him at the grocery store, the park – highly improbable, but you found yourself thinking all these things when you were procrastinating or trying to get to sleep. 

Even now as you tried to win a prize at the Ring Toss stall – don’t ask how much money you’d already spent – (obviously using your free time wisely before you were needed again), you found yourself disappointed that things hadn’t worked out quite like you’d imagined today. You were being stupid. The guy was supposed to annoy the heck out of you, yet here you were unable to stop thinking about him. It had been a long time since a man had gotten you this distracted. A really long time… 

“Can I help?”

You jumped at the sound of Seokjin’s voice, granted you were in deep concentration, about to launch the hoop, but you felt like you’d been caught doing something wrong. As if he knew you’d been thinking about him, caught you in the act. You whipped your head up, forcing yourself to relax and smile. 

“I’ve been watching you try to win for the past ten minutes.” He chuckled. Great. How embarrassing. He stepped closer. “What do you have your eyes so set on?”

Oh, god. Even more embarrassing. You had a split second to make a decision. Be truthful or lie and choose something else. You know what, who cared? You were thirty and still loved stuffed animals. It wasn’t out of the ordinary. 

“The alpaca.” You pointed to the white fluffy animal sat on the top shelf. With his cute round face and a red scarf wrapped around his neck, he was adorable and you really wanted him. 

Seokjin wasn’t fazed at all. “He’s cute. I’ll try but don’t get your hopes up, okay?” 

You nodded and handed him the hoops. He needed to loop all three around the skittles. You watched him with anticipation, thinking to yourself this definitely wasn’t one of your fantasies, but you liked it regardless. Liked it even better when Seokjin managed to win. 

“Thank you, Seokjin,” you smiled, his name still feeling strange to say aloud. The man in charge of the game passed you your new ‘pet’ and you held it fondly, unable to stop yourself. Your landlord didn’t allow animals so you’d had to improvise over the years. You’d never had an alpaca before, but you were sure he’d fit right in. 

“No problem, I’m glad I could be of service.” He chuckled. 

There was a silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it was new. You were so used to Seokjin joking about you were expecting him to take the lead. Today he was quiet, actually right now he looked pretty awkward. 

You opened your mouth to ask him how he was when you suddenly realised something. How stupid of you. You’d been so distracted by the stuffed animal you hadn’t realised a little certain someone was missing. “Where’s Arin?”

“She’s playing with a friend and their family.” You watched him scratch the back of his neck, looking at you, but not really making eye contact. “Y/N, do you maybe want to take a walk? We could find some where to sit and talk?”

“About what?” You could’ve kicked yourself. Why did you have to ask that? You were just a little dazed from hearing him say your name again. 

“Uh, just about Arin really.” 

You didn’t really know what you’d been expecting so any answer would’ve surprised you, but you nodded, taking him up on the offer. “Okay.” 

You knew a bench away from the fate but still on school grounds, and you walked side by side, noticing just how tall and broad he was. His shoulders looked unbelievable in that sweater, and it hugged his chest perfectly when the light breeze of the afternoon hit him, his well-built chest visible. Not that you were staring or anything, you just happened to notice… 

You small talked along the way. Not much, mostly about the fate, but it was enough for you to hit your destination without any awkward silence. You wracked your brains as you sat, wondering what he had to say about Arin. Maybe he wanted to discuss her stories more, thank you for the prize she’d won. What you did know though, was that his cologne really did smell amazing. It was woody, maybe spicy, and just plain addicting. This close proximity was wreaking havoc with you again. You sat the alpaca between you both on bench, acting as a barrier for your sanity. 

Seokjin patted its head absentmindedly before he side-eyed you, that amused smile you’d become familiar with upturning the corners of his mouth. “You seem a lot less scrappy today.”

You raised both eyebrows, thrown for a moment. “Scrappy?”

“Yes,” he chuckled, “a lot less intimidating.” 

You? Intimidating? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? The sheer power of Seokjin’s brow line alone could bring a person to quivering knees, and that wasn’t mentioning the obvious, like you know, his face. However, he seemed genuine enough. You didn’t really consider yourself feisty, but then again, when pushed to your limits maybe something just snapped inside of you. You had powers you weren’t aware of, obviously. Better own them then…

You gave a small shrug, smirking slightly. “Maybe I’ve chosen to forgive and forget.” 

He chuckled again, genuinely amused, but you sensed some reluctance his end, a slight awkwardness. Was he stalling? You suddenly grew a little nervous. The dynamics you’d grown somewhat used to during your last few encounters had shifted without you knowing. Seokjin was a lot less teasing today. How come? 

“So,” you pressed carefully, unable to handle the anticipation. “What was it you wanted to say?” 

He lifted his head up, warm eyes meeting yours and your insides did that flurrying thing again. Your imagination hadn’t concocted this. When he smiled you realised how kind it was – how kind it could be when he wasn’t being infuriating. “I just want to thank you.” 

Your eyes widened before you could control the surprise. “Thank me?” 

He nodded, relaxing a little now, pressing his back into the bench. “For being such an amazing teacher to Arin these past couple of months.” 

Of course, Arin. That’s what he’d said in the beginning, right? He wanted to sit and talk about Arin.

“That’s really no problem,” you smiled. It was your job after all. Yes, teachers liked being appreciated for their hard work, but personally, praise sent you a little red in the face. 

You didn’t know if he heard you, already continuing, as if he’d rehearsed what he wanted to say. “It’s been really hard on her, the change – you know, uprooting the life she knew to come and live with me. New school, making new friends. She was incredibly worried, but you made it so much easier for her.” 

Looking at you again, sounding so genuine, you found yourself freezing. You stumbled a little over your words before managing to come up with something functional. “Of course, it’s my job to make every student comfortable in my class.” You were sure any teacher would’ve treated her with the same kindness and care. But, yes, truthfully you had become very fond of her in such a short time. You wanted him to know that in a roundabout way. “I’ll miss her come September.” 

He gave you an appreciative smile. “She’ll miss you too.” 

Serious Seokjin always threw you. Maybe it was because you had to accept that you’d misjudged him completely. He wasn’t the rich pompous jerk you’d first thought the morning he’d hit your car. You had to admit that like this he impressed and intrigued you. It was why you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him these past two weeks. Which was stupid because you doubted he was doing the same.  

“Thanks for choosing her to win that writing competition, by the way.” His voice brought you back to Earth, concentrating on him again to find that mischievous grin all over his face. “Even if you didn’t like the way it ended.” 

You scoffed. Was he ever going to drop that? He knew that wasn’t the case. He’d asked for the damn pointer himself. “Well, if Lewis Carroll did it.” 

“Kim Arin can too?” He finished, both of you instantly laughing. Once it petered off, he tilted his head to the side, gazing at you almost. It made you fidget a little, getting flustered. “She’s really fond of you. I meant what I said at the parent-teacher meeting.”

God, you really were horrendous at taking compliments. Especially from a man that already made you feel funny. 

“She’s always speaking about how kind and lovely you are.” A pause. "...How pretty you are.” You froze. He hesitated, contemplating something in his head it seemed. He looked you straight in the eyes and said casually, “I have to admit, I agree." 

Oh. What?! You felt heat begin to travel up your face, your cheeks burning and you prayed it wasn't visible. You didn't know what to reply, but thankfully (perhaps) Seokjin simply carried on, hopefully oblivious to your awkward reaction. You should bypass it too. It probably didn't mean anything. He was just being polite, right? 

“Realising it was your car I hit made me feel even guiltier." He shook his head regretfully. "I really am sorry for all that. The damage, stealing your car." 

"It's fine, Seokjin." He hadn’t really stolen your car, you’d been extremely overdramatic there. He'd apologised enough already. You were over it. You had two days left of school, the summer all yours, your mood was much better. Let bygones be bygones. 

“Yeah but, I should’ve never gotten your car towed. I realise I was out of line. You said you didn’t want my help but I didn’t listen." 

You nodded, listening to him, aware he needed to say this. Again, it seemed as if he'd rehearsed it almost, or maybe it was the professional in him. You were too damn stubborn so he wasn't all to blame. You smiled appreciatively, fighting your hand's strange urge to pat his shoulder. It was maybe best that you didn't touch him. Instead you gave a teasing grin. “But you still won’t let me pay you back?” 

He whined – or at least that's the only way you could describe it. It tugged at something inside your chest. Maybe it was more like a wail. Less cute. He couldn't believe you were back on that. 

"I'm just messing around," you laughed, trying to compose yourself to let him know something too. “While we're on apologies... I'm sorry for being so short with you annnd for calling you a car thief."

He chuckled, brushing a hand through his hair. Oh, it was pushed back above his forehead again today. You hadn't noticed, too distracted by what? His sneakers? The outfit as a whole? His face? “I deserved it, let’s be honest." 

"Maybe in the beginning," you admitted carefully, causing him to laugh harder. 

“I was way too preoccupied when I hit you. With work and promising Arin I’d drop her off at school – because shamefully I’d never done it before." He turned a little pensive at that, lost in his own thoughts. 

“You must be really busy," you said, voice soft. There was no way he could do it all. Work seemingly six days a week and still try to be there for Arin 24/7. 

He looked across at you, an eyebrow quirking slightly. What was he surprised by? That you were sympathising with him? He nodded slowly. “It’s just hard learning to juggle everything.   Don’t get me wrong, I love having her with me every day, but...”

“I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it soon.” You wanted to say it would be summer break soon enough, but then on second thoughts, maybe that would make things even harder. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he shrugged, changing the subject back to you. “Besides, me being busy doesn’t really excuse the fact I hit you. I mean, what if god forbid you’d been walking past my car instead, it doesn’t bear thinking about.” He looked beside himself at just the idea. 

“But I wasn’t,” you reminded him, “so it’s perfectly okay.” 

“You’re right,” he murmured, giving you a small smile that rounded his cheeks.  

There was silence then, where you waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. Was that all he’d wanted to talk about? To thank you for being a kind teacher to Arin and to say sorry once again for the car debacle? For some reason you felt eager to keep the conversation going. It was an urge deep inside you that acted on its own accord. 

“So, what do you do?” You asked, trying your best to sound casual. Not that you weren’t casual. You just didn’t want to make it seem like you were desperate for small talk. “If you don’t mind me asking.” 

Again, he looked vaguely surprised. What, that you were interested in him? No, that was phrased wrong. That you were interested. He didn’t meet your eyes as he replied.  “I, uh, I’m the CEO of LG. I took over from my father about three years ago.” 

You swore your eyes bugged out of their sockets you were so overcome with shock. You were glad he wasn’t looking at you as you tried to pull it together. “The LG?”

Like one of the biggest companies in the country LG? He was way too young surely? Weren’t those type of CEOs old and round looking?  

Seokjin chuckled, finally looking you in the eyes. “Unless you know another one.” 

You were speechless, well aware you needed to actually say something in reply instead of gawping but what? What could you say to that? “I guess that explains why you’re always so busy then.” 

God, why? Of all the things, why that? Well done for stating the obvious, Y/N. 

Seokjin gave you a modest smile. “It’s difficult, yes. Trying to manage work and being effectively a single dad, but I really am trying.” He shook his head slightly, as if he was telling himself off. “I missed her so much these past couple of years, so to finally have her living with me is a dream come true. I’m trying to be the best father I can but I guess it’s a work in progress.” 

You weren’t expecting him to be this open with you at all. But maybe Soojung wouldn’t be so surprised. She and a bunch of your other friends, even acquittances said that you were easy to confide in. That you listened well and didn’t try to solve everything. You didn’t know how true that was but you didn’t mind listening to him right now. Sometimes confiding in a stranger just worked. 

“Arin obviously adores you.” You smiled. “I could see that the day I dropped your car back.”

He gave you a tiny smile of thanks but sighed softly. “I just want her to always be happy. I know coming from a broken home may make that statement hypocritical but…”

“Not at all,” you insisted. “If a relationship isn’t working out then you need to do what’s best for your child, and you.” That was important too. “I mean, my parents divorced when I was quite young and I have a million and one happy memories growing up.” 

You grew a little self-conscious, thinking that you were oversharing, but he seemed happy to hear it, perking up a little. “Really?” 

“Yep. They beat the ones I have of them yelling at one another.” 

He gave a bitter chuckle then, nodding in agreement. “That’s right. It’s just…” He paused and you wondered if he was going to carry on. Was it bad that you felt curious? You liked seeing this side of Seokjin, it wasn’t how your fantasies had gone at all, it was better. Things had taken an unexpected turn but it just seemed to fit. It seemed natural. It felt nice to talk to him like this. Suddenly you didn’t seem so different. Despite the contrasts in your job and lifestyle, they weren’t very apparent here on this bench… 

“My ex-wife is… she lives a busy life – even busier than mine. But she loves it. She goes looking for it.” Seokjin explained. You listened politely. “That’s why Arin had to start living with me, and even though I’m pulled thin, I still try to make enough time for my daughter, no matter the day, no matter the time, no matter anything. Nana doesn’t…”

Nana? That was her name. You imagined someone slim and beautiful, it was only fitting seeing as Seokjin was the man she was married to once upon a time. Beauty attracted beauty. 

“Is that why you divorced?” Okay, maybe you were prying now. You hoped he didn’t find it rude. 

He didn’t. “There were a lot of reasons,” he answered honestly. “It was as much my fault as it was hers. We were going in different directions and had fallen out of love. It’s been a while now, nearly two years, I’m fine.” He met your eyes at the last part, as if he wanted you to understand that. Or maybe you were reading it wrong. Why would he want you to know that? 

“Does she live far?” You remembered Arin’s disappointment that weekend when her mom had cancelled their plans. Maybe she lived a while away and it was hard to commute with Arin back and forth. 

“No, just in the next city. It’s not far at all. She’s really high up in an accounting firm there. That’s why when we divorced I moved closer to my building here. See, that’s what annoys me the most,” Seokjin scoffed, an edge to his voice now. Oh shoot, you’d made a mistake with that question. “It’s really no distance at all, so why can’t she spare one single day for Arin?” 

You made a sympathetic face, unsure what to say. You decided on honesty. “I’m sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine how all that feels.” 

Break-ups and divorces were hard yes, but when a child was stuck in the middle a tonne of other complications arose. As a teacher you understood that very well, but as a long-time single woman, maybe not. It had been a while since you’d opened your heart to someone, your life taking a very different turn to what you’d expected three years ago. Not that you minded, you liked where you were heading right now, comfortable and at ease. There was nothing missing. You had your friends and family and that was enough. You hoped Seokjin had people around him too.  

“No, I’m the one that should apologise,” he said suddenly, face tinged with colour, as if he was embarrassed. “I’m offloading onto you, that isn’t fair.” 

“I don’t mind.” Honestly, you didn’t at all. It wasn’t even offloading, more so a conversation. You were getting to know him. 

“You’re just so easy to talk to and I got a bit caught off guard when you started asking about me.” He admitted, his warm eyes finding yours. 

Oh. So now you knew for definite he was indeed surprised by all your questions. When was the last time he’d spoken about all that stuff relating his ex-wife? Had he ever spoken about it at all? 

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you today.”

His words caught your attention, interrupting your thoughts and in the process confusing you greatly. You raised a questioning eyebrow. What did he mean? 

“When I asked you to take a walk I did want to thank you for being so kind to Arin and to apologise for the car trouble, but there was also something else…” You waited patiently, heart thudding quite roughly against your chest for some reason. He looked nervous again. Nervous and awkward just like earlier, before you’d distracted him. 

He chose a new direction. One that left you a little dazed. “Y/N, would I be crossing the line if I said I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you lately?” His dark brown eyes searched for any reaction across your face. 

“Me?” You asked quietly. 

He chuckled bashfully. “Yeah.”

Somehow you found your voice. Well, some of it anyway. “No, it’s not crossing the line.” You wanted to tell him just the same. How he’d slipped into your mind at random times of the day and how you’d secretly been holding out on another meeting. How you’d been anticipating today. But none of that came in your stunned state. Seokjin had been thinking about you? The annoying, exasperating so-and-so hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you? 

He instantly looked relieved – and pleased – at your answer. “I’m glad.” A pause as he hesitated. “Do you maybe want to… go out for dinner this Saturday?” He sounded hopeful, adding quickly, “with me, obviously.”

You would’ve giggled at that but nothing was working. You needed to process his question. He was asking you for dinner? 

“My way of apologising for everything, my treat…” You guessed he felt the need to explain now, a little panicked by your reaction (or no reaction.) “For hitting your car and towing it away without your permission.” 

You laughed then. Just like that your shock dispersing. He was so oblivious it hurt, and now you knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose. He really was that unaware. “So you want to spend more of your money on me?”

You weren’t mad, of course. He knew that, laughing too as he weighed up your reply. “I see the problem.” You snickered, your gaze intimately locking with his in the process. “So, what do you say?” He murmured. “I mean, it’s for a plethora of things really. The car business, all you’ve done for Arin. One massive thank you.” 

Oh. You were getting mixed messages here. Was this an apology dinner, a thank you dinner? Or something more? Maybe he read the questioning in your eyes because he was rushing to say more. “As well as just wanting to enjoy your company. I feel like I talked too much about myself today, I’d like to get to know you too…”  

Okay, now this sounded awfully like a date… And that word freaked you out. Had you not just been thinking about how happily single you’d been for three years and how all you needed were your friends and family? But honestly, you were getting ahead of yourself. It was one dinner. There was no way to predict the outcome and you shouldn’t even be thinking that far ahead. Sometimes you didn’t need to think. You needed to remember that. Sometimes it was just good to act in the moment. Take cautious to the wind and accept this incredibly handsome man’s dinner invitation, whatever his intention was. 

You smiled. “Dinner sounds lovely.” 

Seokjin’s eyes widened a tad, surprise visible and he didn’t try to hide it. “Really?” You laughed and nodded. Really you should be the one still shocked, because despite everything – the misjudgements, the attitude, the way you’d been itching for numerous fights with him, it was a wonder why he still wanted to be anywhere near you. …Maybe he liked that… Maybe he liked you? Or were you absolutely barking mad?  

“Can I have your number to arrange everything?” 

You went to relay it to him, watching him pull his phone from out his front jean pocket but then remembered something. “Oh, I already have yours, should I just text you?”

“That’s my work phone. Maybe we should swap personal phone numbers?” 

You mean, you only had one phone, but it made sense why he had two. You were still stuck on the personal part though. A little dazed (and excited) as he saved your number into his phonebook. Your phone was locked up in your classroom, so you couldn’t take his but no matter, you’d just save it once he messaged you. 

Seokjin glanced at his watch – an expensive looking thing, but that was really no surprise now – and hummed. “We should head back, the fate will be finishing soon.” 

You made more small talk as you walked back, Seokjin wondering if you had any allergies or a special diet so he could bear it in mind when he chose a restaurant. Luckily for you no, but you found out that he was allergic to garlic and potatoes, which seemed ridiculous and highly unfair. But he did admit that he ignored it sometimes, which resulted in disaster often because garlic made him itch like crazy. You had a good laugh over that. 

“So, what are you going to name him?” Seokjin asked, stroking the top of your alpaca’s head who was hooked against your hip as you walked.  

“Hm. I don’t know.” You shrugged, turning to him. “You decide? You did win him after all.” 

“Hmmm,” he thought aloud. A few seconds later he came up with something. “How about RJ?”

“RJ?” 

Seokjin chuckled. “Yeah, it’s cute.” 

Smiling, you had to agree. “Yeah, it is.” You held the stuffed animal up in front of you, tilting your head to the side. “RJ the alpaca. Perfect.” 

Still walking as you spoke, you felt Seokjin move in, hovering his hand behind the small of your back in case you stumbled, your attention elsewhere. You felt the same warmth you had the day he’d called you by your name for the first time… 

Of course you had to tell Soojung about the events of the day. It wasn't as if you could keep it a secret – and it wasn't as if you wanted to, you just knew what would happen... She was like a dog with a bone, unable to give it up, making you recall every minute detail down to the socks he was wearing (black, by the way, to match his jeans. You had indeed noticed). 

“He’s so smart. He waits until you’re not this kid’s teacher anymore and then BAM, do you want to go on a date?”

“Soojung, it’s not a date," you sighed. “He’s just…being nice." 

You were still reluctant to call it a date, because well, he hadn't used the word himself. You didn't want to get your hopes up. Although you would never admit that to her, you knew she understood, in her own roundabout way. 

“Being nice?!” She exclaimed, scoffing absurdly loud. 

You shrugged. “Yeah, thanking me." 

She spluttered, as if she found you terribly naive. “What, thanks for being kind to my daughter? SHUT UP, it’s your job! No, he wants to give you that Dilf dick!" 

“Oh, my god. Soojung!” You hushed, immediately feeling your face burn. The thought hadn't even crossed your mind because it was so unbelievable. 

Saturday was not that long away, the last two days of school flew by, and whilst you were emotional, your mind was also a little too preoccupied with the weekend and what it all meant. Gradually, you’d finally had to admit to yourself that this was probably, most definitely a date. The word sent a fear through your body like no other. Despite being single for three years, you had been on a few first dates in that time, and obviously they had never led to anything. In fact, it had been over a year since your last and that's when you had sworn off dating altogether. 

Min Yoongi. That was the last guy you'd said yes too. A fifth grade teacher at Primrose Hill up until last September. (That had nothing to do with you, by the way, he'd just moved cities last summer to pursue a different career. The date hadn't been that bad...) He was easy on the eye and funny, although maybe a little too sarcastic at times, so much so, you hadn't been able to pick up on the signals until he was cornering you in the staff room and asking you to watch a movie with him that coming weekend. Being both teachers, you'd assumed you'd hit it off straight away, but that wasn't the case. It turned out that Yoongi pretty much hated his job, only there for the extended vacations. That was perfectly fine, you guessed, but you realised that a man like that wasn't for you. How could you both love and hate the same job? It just wasn't feasible. 

You didn't miss dating, mostly because you hadn't been that into the idea anyway. But now? Now that the idea had presented itself again? After the most peculiar string of events, you had suddenly found yourself being asked out for dinner by the man who had hit your car, and you were… excited. For the first time in forever, you were excited for a date.  

You hadn’t felt like this since –

Since Donghae. 

Even thinking his name turned your heart heavy. Not as bad as the original heartbreak three years ago, but the memory was still enough to dampen your mood, if even for a moment. You'd met one another during your last year of college and had stayed together for the next five years. He'd been your forever man, the one you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with – he had proposed to you on your 26th birthday after all... Only, being his fiancé hadn't lasted. Since months later he confessed to cheating on you – repeatedly with a girl that worked in the Starbucks near his work building. It had been the pressure of settling down, that's what he'd told you. He was still young, had been very young when you'd gotten together in college and he wanted to experience life properly. His friends were out clubbing every weekend while he stayed inside playing boardgames with you and your friends. Your friends, as if they weren't his too, as if you all hadn't been joined at the hip in college... 

Your life had pretty much crumbled after that. Everything you'd known had been ripped from under your feet and you had no idea what to do or where to go. One day you had been someone's wife-to-be and the next you were a lonely, broken human. You moved in with Soojung, had to take a month off work because you couldn't function properly, and slowly had to learn how to live your life without the love of your life. 

It took a while, but gradually you got there. You and Soojung found a new, bigger place to live – where you still lived now – and you found ways to stop thinking about him, went on weekend vacations and started new hobbies. It took just over a year to feel yourself again but dating never seemed right. 

Soojung slowly encouraged you to try it out, but the handful that happened in that twelve month period just felt forced – even the one with Yoongi, which had pretty much happened organically (as in, Soojung hadn't set it up…), felt like it was missing something. In a way you knew you were comparing everyone to Donghae, you couldn't help it. You couldn't imagine potentially falling in love with someone else again. He was all you'd known for so long, and once upon a time your relationship had been amazing. He'd been amazing. Getting out of that mindset had been difficult, but there had been an even more difficult one... One you were still struggling with now. The issue of opening up your heart again. 

Truthfully, that's why you’d stayed single for so long. Why you'd given up on dating and didn't want to know. The thought of you meeting and falling for someone only to inevitably get hurt again terrified you. You wouldn't say you had trust issues, you knew not every man was like Donghae, but just imagining your world crumbling like it had three years ago was enough to just give up. 

It wasn't like you were unhappy though. You’d meant all that stuff about liking where your life was heading. You had your friends and family and a job you loved. Your life was fulfilling, there was nothing missing. But maybe that’s what you’d needed to realise… Life worked in mysterious ways. Once you were happy and content maybe it was finally time to open up your heart again. 

The truth was, you were very, very attracted to Seokjin. You felt something, even when you wanted to poke his eyeballs out for being so annoying. Actually, thinking about it, maybe that’s why you’d been so scrappy, your mind was fighting with your heart… Despite the obvious differences between you both, you oddly weren’t fazed by that right now. Seokjin didn’t seem unrelatable in that sense. Yes, your lives were crazy different, but there was something between you. You were sure of it. The way he’d opened up to you on that bench, the way he’d smiled at you, and even the way he’d teased you. It had to mean something. 

Sometimes it was okay to trust your heart. That warm feeling weaving its way through your chest… Sometimes it was okay to be a little exposed. Not everyone was out to get you. 

What was the worst that could happen? The dinner never led to anything else? That would be okay, you’d get over it. But what if it did lead to something more…? 

You deserved to find out, right? 

Saturday morning you received a text from Seokjin. You were eating breakfast at the small table you had set up in the kitchen alongside Soojung. She had only just woken up and was still a little bleary eyed but still managed to instantly perk up at the mention of Seokjin. She demanded to see his message straight away. 

Unknown (9:32am)  Hi Y/N,  It’s Kim Seokjin, Arin’s father. Just wondering if you still want to have dinner tonight? If so, please let me know and I will send through the restaurant details. We can decide on a time for me to pick you up.  Regards, Seokjin 

She squealed. “This guy writes his texts like they’re emails. You just know he’s going to be a good lay.”

“Soojung,” you groaned.  She would not shut up about Dilf dick this and Dilf dick that. “What does that even mean?” 

“He’s a CEO,” she said simply, eyes wide as if that explained everything. “Of one of this country’s biggest companies. That’s like some type of erotic novel shit.” 

You groaned loudly, dropping your head into your hands, but she still continued – sadly. 

“But none of that creepy Fifty Shades of Grey stuff. This guy is a real gentleman. Like he puts your pleasure above all else. I think he’d be really good at going down on a woman.”

By this point, you’d stopped feeling flustered by her insane claims. They were just normal now. She was unbelievable. Why was she even thinking of these things and where did she come up with them? You didn’t want to think of Seokjin like that because you really wanted to keep your sanity for tonight. Plus, no way were you ready for something like that yet. You hoped Seokjin wasn’t anticipating something more. You were sure he wasn’t, you hadn’t gotten those vibes. Soojung was just being dumb. 

You rolled your eyes. “You don’t half talk some shit.” 

You wanted her to point out how cute his text was instead. Like how he’d said he was Arin’s father, you know, just in case you’d forgotten who he was in two days, but no, she was too caught up on potential erotic novel titles. 

You slipped to the side with a start when Soojung nudged your shoulder, getting all up into your personal space as she teased you. “I’m right though, huh?” 

You pushed her back. “This is just a dinner. Not the start of an erotic novel.”

She shrugged. “I’d read it.”

“What would you read?”

Taehyung’s voice appeared from the doorway and you both looked up to see him leaning against it, eyes still pretty much glued shut, his thick hair pulled all ways. 

“Good morning, sleepy head,” Soojung greeted, standing up to make her way towards him. You watched her wrap her arms around his middle, nuzzling into him. She’d only left him in bed not half an hour ago. Seeing your best friend in love was odd but nice. You weren’t used to sappy Soojung, but you had to admit it suited her well. They were cute together. 

Taehyung wrapped one arm around his girlfriend and lifted the other to his face, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. “What are you guys yelling about down here? You woke me up.” 

“Y/N’s date tonight,” 

“Oh, Mr. Dilf?” He sniggered, perking up. 

Soojung screeched and joined in. “CEO Dilf dick.” 

“You told him?!” You whined, standing to dump your bowl in the sink. 

“Of course.” Taehyung smiled smugly. “She tells me everything. Don’t you, babe?”

“Yep.” She grinned. You watched in minor amusement as Taehyung leant down to peck her mouth, Soojung gagging loudly. “Your breath stinks.” 

.

.

You replied to Seokjin promptly – well as soon as Soojung and Taehyung had vacated the kitchen – and not long after that he messaged back with the restaurant details, asking if it was okay to pick you up at 7pm. You sent him your address, almost immediately freaking out. You knew his wealth hadn't fazed you that bad, seeing as he was so easy to talk to, but your place and his place were on different planes of existence. You knew it wouldn't bother him, he wasn't like that, you knew that now, but you were still a little self-conscious. It was probably the nerves regarding today. The reality was setting it. The slight doubt… 

Soojung wasn't helping. 

“There’s steaks on the menu that are more than our rent a week," she awed, looking down at her phone. 

Why had you given her the name of the restaurant again? You would never learn your lesson. She had already googled his name when you’d told her he was the CEO of LG and she had been this close to searching his net worth before you’d stopped her. You didn’t want to know, not only was it incredibly invasive, it made you feel slightly faint. Seeing his image pop up online was enough for you . A professional headshot, he smiled kindly into the camera lens. It was crazy to think that it was the man you’d be going to dinner with. 

Soojung would be good for one thing though – helping you decide on an outfit for tonight. Taehyung had gone home a couple of hours ago, needed at the bar he owned so she had nothing else better to do. Not that she was listening to you though… 

She shrugged. “What did I expect? This dude is a billionaire." 

“He’s not." 

Billionaire seemed a lot more intimidating than a millionaire, but in reality what was the difference? He was unbelievably rich and you were just... you. You shook your head, attempting to claw yourself out of the anxiety hole you'd found yourself in. His job didn't matter. The restaurant he'd chosen didn't matter. You were going for dinner with him to enjoy his company and get to know him better. The finer details were irrelevant. 

“Come on! If not he must be a multi-multimillionaire." She rationalised. "His dad is the billionaire."

You groaned. "Will you stop making me nervous and help me pick something to wear?" 

You decided on the midi dress you'd actually worn to Eunbi's wedding last summer. It was the only fancy thing you had – or at least fancy enough to dine at a restaurant that sold insane dollar steaks. But wait, the restaurant wasn't supposed to matter, remember? 

You still wanted to look nice though. The dress was modest in itself but maybe the colour was a bit eye-catching – a deep red. Soojung said it was perfect and you'd knock his Dilf socks off. By now you were getting sick of the word. You told her as much.

"What if I don't want to sleep with him?"

"As if." She scoffed. "Your dry spell has gone on far too long. You deserve this." She caught the look of apprehension on your face. "When you're ready of course."

"Don't make me –”

"Nervous, I know" she finished for you, sighing loudly. "There's no need to be. Mr. Dilf is whipped for you, I just know it."

How did she know? She hadn't even met him, but you appreciated the sentiment. You did not appreciate it when she was being a clever bitch though. 

"I'm just trying to work this out." She said, watching you apply your mascara in the bathroom mirror. It was much later in the day now, about forty minutes before Seokjin was due to pick you up. You were dressed, hair up, makeup nearly done, and sick to your stomach with anticipation. You hummed, letting her know you'd heard her and to continue. 

"You were mad when Dilf spent money on your car but you're okay with him spending mad money on you at this restaurant?" 

"Soojung," you warned, staring at her reflection in the glass. 

She held her hands up in apology. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just curious. Is it okay when it's food?"

You sighed. You knew it didn't really make sense, you guessed, but well, you'd said yes to the dinner. You hadn't said yes to the car being repaired. That was the difference. 

"I'm not going to order the most expensive thing on the menu." 

"Well, don't just order a side salad, he'll think you're weird..." 

You simply stared at her. Her input was so appreciated. 

.

.

“He’s here, oh my god, he’s here!” Soojung screamed, spying through the voile curtains in the living room. "Ten minutes early. I love that." 

“Soojung, move away, now." You told her sternly. 

“The fucking car–” She cut herself with a muffled sound. As if she was trying to stifle her own screams. You guessed he'd gotten out of said car. “What the fuck, what the fuck, he’s SO hot. I’m going to pass out."

“Soojung!" Dropping your phone into your purse you slipped on your heels, nearly tripping over in the process. You gripped onto the back of the couch just in time. "I swear to god if he sees you." 

She spun around, pointing an accusing finger at you. “You never said he was that hot." 

You shrugged. "You never asked."

"I asked every goddamn second of the day. You lucky bitch." She walked towards you, fixing a piece of your hair that had fallen into your eyes. “How come you get hot billionaire Dilf and I get the man-child whose special talent is making cocktails." 

"Shut up," you scoffed. She loved Taehyung and his cocktail making skills. That's how they'd met after all. She drunk at the bar three days a week for a month straight until he asked her out. 

The doorbell rung and you froze, remembering how nervous you were. Soojung's antics had distracted you for a while but now reality was setting in. As you turned to leave she tapped your ass. “Get that Dilf dick, girl!”

"Soojung, I swear to god –”

"I won't wait up."

Ha. As if. She'd be glued to that window until Seokjin dropped you off back home. You knew her all too well, you'd been best friends for over ten years. 

In the entryway now, you didn't have time for breathing exercises. Although, you wished you'd had once you opened the door to see Seokjin stood there looking devastating handsome. 

“Hi," he smiled, eyes lighting up when he saw you. 

“Hey," you managed to squeeze out, cemented to the ground. 

He was dressed in a double breasted navy two piece that must have been tailored to fit his body down to the millimetre, a crisp white dress shirt on underneath. His hair looked shorter, falling just above is eyebrows and parted slightly in the middle. He looked good enough to eat. Or good enough to make you pass out. Either one. 

“You look beautiful," he awed, rendering you pretty speechless. 

This was a date. It really was a date. 

"Thank you," you managed to reply, needing to return the compliment. But what could you possibly say?! “You look…really good." 

Oh god. How embarrassing. 

Especially when Seokjin burst out laughing, that familiar squeak to it that you'd heard at the parent-teacher meeting. "I'll take it. Thanks." He tilted his head. "Are you ready to go? I'm a bit early, I know. Sorry about that." 

You nodded, clutching your purse tight to your side. "I, uh... I would invite you in to kill time but my best friend’s embarrassing." You raised your voice a little so she'd hear you, but on her best behaviour she stayed deathly silent. Well done, Soojung. 

Seokjin raised an eyebrow, a little confused, but you figured you'd fill him in inside the car. "It's fine," he shook his head.

Seeing you stepping forward he moved to the side, outstretching his arm to invite you to lead the way. You did, making sure not to look back towards the living room window, because you knew for a fact you'd see Soojung pressed up against it. 

.

.

“This is all new for me.” Seokjin admitted, sat opposite you as you waited for your dessert. “I haven’t been on a date for years.”

To say the night had gone well would be an understatement. At first you’d been too nervous to even breathe, especially with Seokjin looking like that just a few centimetres away from you as he drove. It didn’t help that he seemed to be some type of regular at the restaurant, getting greeted as if he was an old friend of the manager and led to his ‘usual’ table; a quiet spot away from the hustle and bustle. It turned out he co-owned the place with his brother, looking mildly embarrassed as he told you. It was cute, but he had nothing to be self-conscious over, this was his life, normal to him. I hope you don’t see it as a cop-out, he confessed, causing some confusion your end. Why would you see it that way? This restaurant was beautiful, certainly popular, and you couldn’t wait to try the food. You told him as much and he laughed about feeling nervous now. 

You tried lobster for the first time ever – his recommendation. It was kind of messy, but he ordered the same so you were both in it together. You laughed, you joked, you got to know one another more. Conversation came easy, both relaxed in one another’s company, and after the main you both decided to share a dessert, too stuffed for anything more. 

“Snap,” you grinned, silently happy that was the case, although rather amazed. Seokjin was, well… him, who wouldn’t want to snap him up? However then again, he was a busy, divorced father. Dating probably wasn’t high up on his list. You were so distracted by his confession, you didn’t even comprehend he’d used the word ‘date.’ 

“Really?” Seokjin’s eyes bulged slightly. Why was he so surprised? 

You shrugged casually. “It’s been well over a year since my last date.”  

Seokjin’s mouth curved, amused. “Try over ten.” 

“I wasn’t aware this was a competition,” you laughed, but yes, he indeed had you beat. 

He laughed along, the arrival of your lemon cheesecake interrupting you both for a moment. It was a few bites later when the conversation got back on track again, Seokjin’s tone careful as he looked across at you, both of you reaching for another bit of the cheesecake with your dessert forks. “You don’t mind me calling this a date, do you? This isn’t the part where you tell me you’ve been in a relationship for five years and you just thought this was an innocent thank you dinner?”

You giggled softy, shaking your head. “No. I don’t mind you calling it a date.” You brought the fork up to your mouth, taking your time to chew before you continued. “Soojung was adamant it was but I… didn’t want get my hopes up?” You wanted to be honest. This night was about opening yourself up to the uncertain. 

“Soojung, your best friend? The one you live with?” He asked. 

You nodded. You’d already told him all about your best friend, about how you lived with each other. Seokjin hadn’t bat an eyelid, which was nice. You weren’t embarrassed or anything, but the differences in your living arrangements were stark. He thought it sounded fun. He still remembered living with his best friend Namjoon back in college and how entertaining that had been. He’d definitely be up for it again if they weren’t both dads now – divorced at that, but hey ho, that was life. 

“Well, she was correct.” Seokjin continued. “I thought I made it clear but I guess I was too cryptic.” 

“So, which one is it?” You asked, lifting an eyebrow in interest. “Not an innocent thank you dinner or not an innocent dinner?” 

You were feeling brave, however your heart still thudded inside your chest, adrenaline whooshing through your veins. There was something about Seokjin that made you act so out of character… 

Seokjin failed to conceal the visible surprise across his features and you watched him swallow before he composed himself, a smirk appearing on his lips immediately. “If I didn’t know any better I would say you were flirting with me right now.”

You shrugged. “I’m just checking if your intentions are innocent or not?” You took another bite of the cheesecake. 

His smirk grew, and you watched him drop his fork onto the plate to lean back in his chair. “I would say they are, however, I did have plans to kiss you on the cheek tonight, so maybe, busted?” He chuckled then, at himself – he liked doing that you’d noticed. It was kind of cute. 

The butterflies were back. Now there was no need to ignore or try to explain them. You took them as what they were – a good sign. Humming aloud, you tilted your head to the side and pretended to contemplate. “I think I can let you do that.” 

Seokjin laughed. “You can? Okay, that sounds good.” 

You reached for your glass of wine, needing a sip just to calm the flurry inside of you. Seokjin tucked his chair closer, still laughing but quietly now, more like a chuckle. “Honestly, I was pretty much shitting my pants today.” 

You snorted into your glass, taken by surprise at his choice of words. “Sorry,” you apologised, feeling a little bit embarrassed by the sound that had just left your nose. He didn’t same fazed. “I was nervous too.” 

That seemed to settle him. He smiled fondly, fingers tracing the brim of his glass. “I guess we were being silly.” His lips parted to say something else but he hesitated. You watched him take a quiet exhale, then he continued. “My therapist has been begging me to try dating again for months but the thought has always been pretty terrifying.” He gave a small shrug, his warm eyes locking with yours. “Until I met you.” 

You could feel your heart rate speeding up, unable to stop the smile that spread across your face. He was pleased, grinning back, posture visibly relaxing. “She said I should face up to my fears and just ask you out.” 

There were a lot of thoughts whirring through your mind right now. The fact he felt comfortable enough to disclose with you that he had a therapist, and the fact that he’d even mentioned you to her, that she had encouraged him to ask you out. The fact he’d liked you enough to want to take the plunge at all. After two years of being alone, you were the woman who had made him want to try again… It felt comparable to your own thoughts, to your feelings… and that’s why you felt so relaxed tonight. It just felt right. 

“I like you, Y/N.” He confessed. “I know we don’t know one another very well, but I hope that this is just the beginning.” 

Despite his words sending your butterflies crazy, you kept your cool, trying to stunt your smile. “You’re not so bad yourself, I guess.” 

He chuckled. You let yourself smile at the sound. “Not so bad. I’ll take it.” He picked up his fork again, taking a bite of the cheesecake you’d both forgotten about. His voice was careful, genuine to match his expression, when he carried on. “Despite the circumstances of how we met and what followed, I don’t know, I haven’t felt a spark like that in forever.” He reached for a sip of his wine, laughing. “What do you think? You can call me crazy if you want.” 

“I think you’re right.” There was no doubt about it now. You’d been adamant in the beginning that was nothing there – no spark, no flirting, insisting Soojung was wrong, but now you couldn’t deny the obvious attraction. You’d immediately bounced off one another that evening during the parent-teacher meeting, despite your annoyance the day before. 

You grinned. “You frustrated me to no end but I felt something too.” 

He tilted his head to the left, a teasing lilt to his voice. “Frustrated you? How so?”

“You know how,” you laughed. “I may or may not have called you an exasperating bastard in my head.” 

He couldn’t contain himself then, taken back and genuinely amused. “Oh god,” he practically wheezed. “I like that one.” 

You laughed along, unable not to when the sound he made brought you such joy. You reached for another forkful of cheesecake, the dessert nearly coming to an end. Just like the date, you thought. You didn’t want it to end, you were enjoying yourself too much. 

“What about now?”

You looked up at Seokjin, eyes widening in question. What did he mean? He was staggeringly composed now, although his eyes shone with mischief as he grinned and explained. “Do I frustrate you now?”

You tried to stunt your own smile, shrugging your shoulders. “Not tonight.” 

“At the fate?”

“Nope.” 

He nodded his head, seemingly happy with your answers. “I guess things are looking up then.” He picked up his glass again, about to take a sip before he paused and added,  “Although, I must admit, I liked frustrating you. You look so cute when your mad.” 

You felt heat immediately burn its way to your cheeks, hoping the lighting in this restaurant was dim enough not to make it obvious. He took a swig of his wine. “Watch it, Mr. Kim.” As he chuckled it muffled inside the glass.  

You went for the last piece of cheesecake, figuring you were owed that now. You looked across at him as you chewed, knowing that if you really wanted this to happen again you needed to let him know. Face up to your fears of opening up, telling people how you really felt. “I’d like to get to know you better, Seokjin.”

“Really?” He sounded hopeful, fingers playing with the rim of his wine glass again. 

“Mmhm.” You nodded. “You seem like a lovely man if we ignore the car stealing...” 

“Hey,” he whined, “you apologised for that already, you can’t bring it up again.” You held your hands up in silent defence, chuckling silently, watching him lean closer. “But please, go back to what you were saying about me being a lovely man. Stroke my ego, it’s been a long week.” 

Had it? You were curious, concerned really. You thought to ask him if he wanted to talk about it, but you guessed the last thing he’d like to do was discuss work on a date. Instead, you decided to tell him about what attracted you most to him. The thing that had inevitably made you change your mind and realise that maybe, quite possibly, you’d misjudged him.

“Arin really adores you and I can see how much you dote on her. Any man cherished by his child is a good one in my eyes.” 

“Oh.” He simply replied, possibly at a loss of words. He looked touched – happy, but ultimately unsure of what to reply, so he bypassed it in a way, raising an eyebrow. “So is there some kind of checklist?” 

“What do you mean?” 

He gave a slight shrug. “Like, ‘kids like him – check.’ ‘He knows how to clean dishes – check.’ – I can by the way. I’m really good with a pair of washing up gloves and some dish soap.” 

You burst out laughing, not quite believing your ears. “Yeah, okay.” You admitted. “There’s a list.” Didn’t every woman have one? 

“Let’s see how I fare then.” Seokjin said, sounding sure of himself as he leant back in his seat, hands behind his head – the image of casual. Maybe you were into this cocky Seokjin… It was sort of hot. 

“Okay so…” You began, leaning forward. “Family man – check.” You’d already approved that one. “Loves animals?”

He scoffed. “Easy. Animals are so much better than humans.” 

Okay, more points his way… “Uhh.” You thought aloud, racking your brains. “Does he make me laugh?”

Seokjin mulled it over. “That sounds like a decision you have to make, but I think it’s a yes? I mean, you’ve been laughing all night. Unless you were just being nice.” 

“No, you are funny,” you confirmed, although you were unable to miss an opportunity to mess around with him. “You have that, what should I call it,” you pretended to think, “that old man type sense of humour.”

“Hey. I’m not that old,” he huffed. 

You chuckled quietly. True, he wasn’t old, but you were still surprised when you’d found out he was turning 38 this coming December. Some people were blessed with ageing gracefully. Of course he was one of them. The man looked amazing for someone two years away from forty. 

“What about you?” You wondered. “Do you have a checklist?”

He sat upright again, setting his elbow on the table to drop his chin in his palm, giving you his full attention. “Yes, and you check them all.” 

“I do?” You laughed in disbelief. Either he was easy to please or he wanted brownie points. 

He shrugged, as if to say of course. “You’re funny, caring, can be kind of scary at times – which I’m sort of into, to be honest.” 

“I’m not scary,” you protested, pouting slightly. However, what? He was into it? That made you feel funny…

He smirked. “I beg to differ.” 

You rolled your eyes. “What else do I check off?”

He didn’t need time to think. “You’re insanely beautiful.” Your dumbfounded expression made him second guess himself. He pulled a face. “Yikes. Too cheesy?”

You grinned, getting a hold of yourself. “Maybe, but then again, maybe I like that.” How could you not like being called beautiful? How could you not like receiving a compliment? Especially from him. 

He smiled, gazing into your eyes as he leant forward. You felt immediate warmth when his hand cupped yours across the table. This was the first time he’d touched you, right? Your mind was a blur right now, unable to recall two hours ago, let alone two weeks ago. When he spoke, you only felt warmer, the soft timbre of his voice fluttering through your whole body. “I’m really attracted to you, Y/N.” 

And what could you say to that? You swallowed, wetting your throat, realising it had become dry. He was waiting for a reply, amused by something – your blank looking face most probably. He had the ability to render you speechless, and he knew it. He liked it. 

Well, no, not on your watch. You’d get the last word. You’d win. 

Composing yourself, you slipped your hand from under his, tapping it lightly, as if you were consoling him. “I’ve said it once already, but you’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Kim.” 

Taken aback, he chuckled quietly in bemusement, shaking his head. “You’re going to give me wrinkles.”  

.

.

A man of his word, he did kiss you on the cheek after the date was over. He waited until he had driven you home and opened the door for you to step out of the car – ever the gentleman, you’d teased. You stood by the little gate that lead a pathway to your front door, and that’s where he’d leant down to place his lips ever so lightly against the top of your left cheek. You smiled shyly up at him, unable to play it cool this time. 

He looked a little rosy in the face too, unsure as he smiled. “I had a lovely time tonight.” 

“Me too,” you agreed. “Can I take you out next time?” You surprised yourself by the offer, that kiss must have shot some confidence into you. 

He looked surprised too, but into it, tilting his head in curiosity as he looked down at you. “Where do you suggest?”

“My place?” Okay, so it wasn’t ‘taking him out’ but you liked the idea best. Soojung could stay over Tae’s. She owed you one. “I can cook for you,” you offered, a hand unconsciously reaching for the collar of his jacket, straightening it for him. “To you know, return the favour of you paying for dinner to say sorry for paying for my car to get fixed.” 

His hand clasped around yours, dropping it between your bodies to hold it as he chuckled. 

“This is getting a little confusing now.” He swung your hand gently and you curled your little finger around his loosely. You could get used to this physical contact. It felt ordinary, like you’d been doing it forever. “Can’t we just call it dating and have done?”

You rolled your shoulders with a sigh, sounding casual and unbothered. “I guess, if it’s easier.” 

Seokjin’s laugh got lower, his face closer. His eyes kept looking between your eyes and lips, and you realised your heart was beginning to beat slower, or was it faster? You couldn’t tell anymore, but you could hear it pounding lightly inside your ears. You were in the middle of playing the same game – eyes then lips, eyes then lips – the seconds feeling more like minutes as he leant in closer and closer, but then – 

You spotted Soojung in the window as you happened to glance behind Seokjin’s shoulder. She had now totally bypassed the voile curtain, thinking she was Miss. Inconspicuous with the lights off. The street lighting was as bright as anything though, and all you could see was her face glowing like a ghost as she ruined the moment entirely. You were not having your first kiss with Seokjin in front of her prying eyes. 

Seokjin realised your attention was elsewhere now, awkwardly pulling back to scratch his neck with his free hand. You clutched at the hand that was holding yours, not wanting him to think you’d blown him off. He didn’t say anything though, just continued your conversation with a bemused smile. “Um, so what are you going to cook?” 

“What do you like?” You asked, only half your attention on him. Maybe you could silently signal to Soojung, tell her to get the hell out of the window before Seokjin noticed. 

“I’m easy,” you heard him reply. “What’s your speciality?”

“Uh…” Think Y/N, think. Distracted you said the first thing that popped into your head, still trying to force Soojung away with just your eyeballs. “Lasagne.”

“Lasagne?” He sounded interested. 

You finally met his eyes for more than five seconds, feeling a little panicky. “Yeah, my World Famous Italian lasagne.” 

Oh no. 

Seokjin laughed, dropping your hand to cup your cheek instead. Earlier, if this had happened you would have spontaneously combusted but now you had a case of the Nosey Friend and you couldn’t concentrate to save your life. “Okay, now you’re just talking big.” 

You couldn’t help it, your eyes attempting to dart past his shoulder again. He noticed – he’d probably noticed this entire time, an eyebrow of his raising. “What is going on over my shoulder?” 

You tried to stop him, clinging to his elbow, but he turned around anyway, eyes falling on Soojung immediately. You saw her instantly panic and jump back, dropping the curtain in front of the window again.  “That’s just Soojung,” you sighed. “Ignore her, she’s an idiot.” 

Seokjin was deeply amused, laughing as he turned back to you. “So, is next Saturday okay?” You pressed. 

He grinned. “Saturday sounds perfect to me.” 

As you said your goodbyes, Seokjin turned to the window and gave a small wave, chortling to himself. You couldn’t see Soojung anymore but you just knew she was still spying. But relieved Seokjin didn’t seem fazed, you made your way inside, giving Seokjin a wave by the door as he pulled off, feeling happy, yet a little sad the night was over already. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d enjoyed yourself like that. 

It was only when you were inside did you remember what you’d just done, too preoccupied to think properly beforehand. Oh God, the lasagne. Saturday night was going to be a disaster. 

Soojung came running into the entry way, interrupting your freak out. “He saw me! He saw me!” Her voice was shrill, and you couldn’t tell if it was because she was embarrassed or excited. 

“That’s what happens when you spy, idiot,” you swiped, kicking off your heels. The instant relief brought you no comfort. “Soo, I’ve done something stupid.” You admitted. 

She instantly looked worried. “What? What have you done?”

You sighed, already feeling like a fool. “Okay so, I invited him over next weekend and said I’d cook for him.” 

“Girl is horny for that D–”

“Shut up, that’s not the problem,” you stopped her. She looked puzzled. “You were distracting me!” It was all her fault. You weren’t taking the blame. “He asked me what I was gonna cook and I told him I make a World Famous Italian lasagne!” 

Your best friend was silent for an extended second, making sense of your words before she burst out laughing. Highly dramatic, practically doubled over, splitting her sides. Even more dramatic than you for freaking out over a damn lasagne. 

“You have never made lasagne in your entire life!” She exclaimed. “What were you thinking?” 

“It was your fault!” It was also her fault you didn’t get to kiss Seokjin properly too. But you weren’t going to bring that up now, unable to bear the constant teasing that would ensue. 

“My fault?!” She laughed. You just rolled your eyes. She did not appreciate that at all. “Whatever. I can’t wait to see your “World Famous Italian lasagne.” Make sure to save me some, won’t you?”

“Right,” you huffed. “For that, I’m not telling you how the date went.” 

She soon changed her tune, needing all the details just to be able to sleep tonight… 

Written 2020 - 2021.  Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021