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deadgirlwalking91 · 7 months ago

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new update - 'thank you for the venom', chapter 4: 'sugar, we're goin' down swinging'

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter 4 Summary

After a hard day, all Lute wants to do is relax in the bath. Alone.

Adam, however, has other plans.

Author's note:

I have a super cool announcement to make - I now have a beta reader! And not just any old beta - she is none other than the most incredible, incomprehensibly talented @branded-rose! She deserves the utmost thanks for being my sounding board, fellow head-canon theoriser, hype gal and all-round legend. Also, if you aren't familiar with her work, close this tab right now and go check her art and accompanying mini-fics out!

I have had the MOST fun writing this chapter. The concept for it has undergone a few transformations in my mind, and I'm glad it's ended up where it has. I hope you all enjoy reading it!

As always, thank you for the comments, likes, reblogs, inboxes and for reading this silly little story <3

***

Lute’s Apartment, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

Lute hated being injured.

It wasn’t necessarily the feeling of being in pain that she couldn’t stand. On the contrary, she welcomed the tenderness of every bruise, the sting of every laceration – hell, the dull, aching throb of every broken bone that had been inflicted upon her over her years as an Exorcist. Pain meant she had no hesitations in putting her body on the line; she was renowned, after all, for her reputation as an unrelenting, unstoppable, balls-to-the-wall killing machine.

Her body was heavily adorned with the scars as proof of her status; hundreds of faded gold marks of varying sizes were flecked upon her otherwise pale skin. Each healed wound beheld a gory reminder of her battles and triumphs.

No, what irked Lute was the unwanted attention that she attracted whenever she sustained an injury. Thankfully, due to her recent refocus on physical conditioning, there were no weapons being handled and therefore, there should have been minimal opportunity for anybody to come into harm’s way under her guidance.

There was just one variable that Lute hadn’t accounted for: her dickhead boss.

What the fuck had Adam been thinking, tackling her so suddenly during that afternoon’s training session? One minute, she’d been pointing out common weak spots to hit on a Sinner’s body to expose their vulnerabilities, and then the next she’d unexpectedly been crushed by him. Her right hip and lower back had taken the brunt of the fall as he’d grabbed her around the torso, pinned her arms against her body and drove her into the floor with a force so great she’d been winded before she hit the deck.

Then, her sisters had shrieked, screamed – there may have even been one who cried, there usually was when someone hurt themselves – and crowded around her as she lay on the hardwood floor, dazed, confused and completely smothered by Adam’s considerably larger frame.

“Get off her, Sir, she’s not breathing!”

“I-is…is she dead?”

“Lieutenant, are you alright?!”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Commander?! What the fuck was that?!” Thank God for Vaggie, who had elbowed her way to the front of the gaggling group and stood, hands on hips, glaring at the angel who lay atop her friend.

“Out of line, Vagina,” he had drawled lazily, finally pulling himself up to a standing position. “You owe me burpees for that.”

“I don’t owe you a thing after the bullshit you just pulled,” she’d snapped back, helping Lute stand to her feet. “Ladies, back up, she’s coming through.”

“Thanks,” Lute had managed to grunt, shuffling away from the crowd as quickly as she could so they couldn’t see the golden flush of humiliation that had started to warm her cheeks. There was only one thing that she hated more than being injured, and that was being embarrassed.

Luckily, the colour of her face had returned to normal by the time she’d knocked on Sera’s door to report that training had been cancelled for the rest of the day. She’d even come up with the perfect excuse: the Exorcists had made such remarkable progress with their strength training she was giving them the rest of the afternoon off as a reward while she made some adjustments to their schedule.

Too bad her hip and lower back had started burning by that point – not to mention the feathers of her wings were incredibly ruffled, a dead giveaway that she’d been involved in some kind of mishap. Sera, astute as ever, noticed her limp and disgruntled appearance and had demanded to know what had happened. And it wasn’t like Lute could lie to the Head Seraphim.

At least, not off the cuff.

And so, she found herself fumbling for her key outside her apartment door, ordered to rest up for the evening lest her injuries worsened.

Oh, she was going to rest up, alright. Today’s events called for a bath so damn hot her skin would burn brighter than the surface of the sun, a glass of wine in one hand and steamy novel in another. She’d slip beneath the bubbles of her bath and into the pages of her book, with zero plans to re-enter reality for at least three – no, maybe four hours.

At last, she felt her apartment key in bottom of her bag. Sighing in relief as she entered her immaculate personal sanctuary, she softly pushed the front door back towards its frame without looking, kicking her trainers off as soon she was fully inside. Hanging her bag onto a hook in her entryway, she made a beeline for her small kitchen – specifically, for a bottle of red wine she knew she’d had stashed away at the bottom of her pantry for emergencies and unexpected visits from Vaggie.

After the day she’d had, this was absolutely classified as an emergency.

Ignoring the burn that seemed to now consume most of her lower body, Lute located a wine glass and unscrewed the lid of the bottle, pausing to take a long swig directly from it before filling her glass.

Classy.

Sipping her drink from its intended vessel, she plucked a candle off her coffee table and wandered into her bathroom to start preparing for her date with her bathtub.

As Lute sat her glass and candle onto the counter, she caught her reflection in the mirror. God, she looked like she’d had a day – though, to be fair, she’d had the absolute wind knocked out of her only a few hours earlier. Her platinum hair, half of which had been twisted into a small knot on top of her head, had loose strands starting to fall around her face. The bun was askew, leaning more towards the right and threatening to unravel any minute. If her little altercation hadn’t been so public, it wouldn’t be so farfetched for one to imagine she’d been sandwiched between her boss and the floor for a different reason.

Snorting in disgust to herself at the mental image she’d painted, she released her topknot and leant down to turn on the bath mixer, nudging the lever closer to the right until the water temperature was practically scalding. Perfection. She plugged the bath and turned her attention to the unlit candle.

She’d forgotten the lighter. Dammit. She walked gingerly back out into her living area, peeling her crop top up and off over her head, letting it fall to the floor somewhere near the bench of her kitchen, her socks following. Usually, she’d never allow herself to leave stray items of clothing around her apartment, but she was so hyper focused on getting into her bath she was willing to break her own rules - just this once. Besides, she’d tidy up before bedtime anyhow.

After she grabbed the lighter from an overhead cabinet that was just out of reach, requiring a little assistance from her wings, she set back to the bathroom to light her candle. The calming combination of rose geranium, bergamot and patchouli filled her bathroom almost instantaneously; the smell reminded her of the one and only time she’d allowed Vaggie to drag her to a day spa for a massage and to get her wings preened.

It was a one-time event because, as it turned out, strangers touching her body made her skin crawl and she couldn’t bring herself to relax, even if the aim was to help relieve years of built-up tension, stress and physical exertion. Getting her wings preened was even worse; the therapist kept running her fingers through all her sensitive spots, which made Lute squirm uncomfortably throughout the entire session. Neither experience was what she would call enjoyable.

The only good thing to come out of that disaster was the candle she’d purchased to reassure Vaggie the day hadn’t totally sucked.

She took another sip of wine and looked back in the mirror, turning to see if she could see any obvious signs of bruising on her body. She pulled the waistband of her leggings down for a better look – ah, there it was, a familiar dark orange patch beginning to bloom directly over her right hip. She leant forward to inspect it further – that was going to be ugly tomorrow – and a repetitive, robotic tune sung from her pocket, breaking her concentration. Probably Vaggie checking in on her, bless her.

Lute dug her hand into her pocket and retrieved her phone, frowning as she checked the caller ID.

Commander Adam.

“Absolutely not.” She hit the red decline button and padded out to her lounge, where she turned her phone off and tossed it onto her couch. Bath time had a strict no-phone policy, and Adam had already ruined enough of her day – she didn’t need him encroaching on her night, too. She shimmied her leggings down her lower half, resting against the arm of her couch to support her body as she bent over and tugged the end of them off her feet.

Clad only in her underwear now – a practical, black, seam-free thong ideal for wearing under workout clothes – Lute headed into her bedroom, where she grabbed the book she was currently reading from her nightstand, closing the door as she turned towards the bathroom. Pausing in the hall to rid herself of her last item of clothing, entered the bathroom, fully naked, shutting the door firmly behind her.

The bath was now full and inviting, bubbles threatening to spill over the edge and onto the white tiled floor, steam visibly rising from its depths and dissipating somewhere just short of the ceiling. Grinning in anticipation, Lute shut the mixer off and turned off the light switch, the flickering flame of the candle providing the only source of light – just enough for her to be able to read. Grabbing her book, she stepped into the hot water, allowing the heat to envelop her completely as she slid down into its warmth, tucking her wings comfortably against her sides.

Sighing contentedly to herself, she opened her paperback up to where she’d dog-eared her page and allowed herself to be fully consumed by the words between the well-loved cover, banishing any thoughts, any feelings, any pain that had arisen from her day out of her mind.

What she was blissfully unaware of was that she hadn’t closed her front door properly.

Or that she’d missed two calls, a voicemail and a text message from her boss.

And that he was on a frantic mission to try and find her.

Right now.

Adam and Lute’s Office, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

“You’ve reached Lute. Leave me a message if it’s important.”

“What is the point of having a damn lieutenant,” Adam growled to himself furiously, “if she doesn’t answer her fucking phone when I need her to!” Huffing impatiently, he threw his phone onto his cluttered desk, knocking a ball made entirely of rubber bands onto the floor. Women were always on their phones, why was this one any different?

Because her sole purpose in life is to make everything difficult.

He glowered in the direction of Lute’s spotless desk. This was all her fault. If she hadn’t of approached Sera with her shitty statistics and stupid proposal, he wouldn’t be facing the prospect of a pointless life in less than a year’s time. Sera would have just let Extermination Day continue as it was, and things would stay the same. Stay normal.

And now, he had to figure out a way to coexist peacefully with the she-devil. Pretend to support her ideas. Not lump his paperwork on her. Make small talk with her.

Fuck his life.

“Ribs or wings?” He asked the empty chair. He figured he may as well sound out some practice questions in preparation. “Actually neither, you’d be the type to survive on gross shit like protein shakes and probably don’t know what real food tastes like. Alright…” he cleared his throat. “Uh, what was the last movie that made you laugh? Nah, that one’s dumb, I don’t think you’ve been programmed to laugh or understand humour.” He groaned. “Last one, because I’m starting to feel like a dickhead. Most fuckable member of a band…go!”

Silence.

Adam narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah, you would pick the drummer,” he grumbled, standing up. He reached for his phone and tried calling Lute again. Bitch better pick up, or he’d search every nook and cranny of this complex for her. And once he found her, she’d have hell to pay. Screw the idea of a truce, she was pissing him off now.

“You’ve reached Lute. Leave me a message if it’s important.”

Beep.

“Fucks sake, Lieutenant, pick up your phone!” He hissed. Instead of locking the phone after hanging up, he hit the message icon instead and tapped out a quick text, tongue between his teeth as he concentrated.

Adam: Lt. Call me. That’s an order!!!

He shoved the phone into his pocket and sighed, puffing his cheeks out. Dammit, he really had no other choice but to find her.

If I were her, where would I spend my spare time? No – it could take hours trying to find her. I need a workaround. Someone who would know where she lives.

Adam grinned maniacally, inspiration suddenly kicking in.

“I’m a ge-ni-us,” he sang to himself, taking his phone out once more and tapping on a contact.

“Hello, Adam. Have you calmed down?”

“Me? Pfft. Don’t worry about me Sera, I’m so fine. I’m calling because I really want to apologise to Lute, but she’s not answering her phone. Do you have her apartment number so I can drop by to check on her?” He balled his hand into a fist near his crotch and made an obscene gesture. Check on her, his ass.

Silence.

“Adam.”

“Sera.”

“If I do this in good faith,” her voice was dangerously cool on the other end of the phone, “and I find out that you’ve misused the information I’ve given you, there will be consequences. Understood?”

“Crystal, boss.”

“Her apartment number is 583. I mean it Adam, one more incident from you and I-”

“SweetkaythanksSeraloveyoubossbye!” He quickly hung up the phone before Sera could finish her sentence. He’d deal with the inevitable lecture he’d get for hanging up on her later.

He had a lieutenant to hunt down.

Apartment Block, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

It wasn’t often that Adam found himself in a situation that required him to make a mental pros and cons list.

However, Lute had left him in quite the predicament: her apartment door was slightly ajar. Which meant he was likely to find her in there: big pro.

He was also likely to find her in a more hostile state than usual, given the events that had transpired earlier that day: big con.

But, if he went in, he’d be able to propose a truce, which would help ensure the success of the next Extermination: bigger pro.

Also, he could twist his pitch to emphasise that it would make her job easier: another big pro.

Fuck it, that was all the evidence he needed. He was getting impatient. He nudged the door open, expecting a response from inside. Nothing.

“Lieutenant?” Adam called, pushing the door open further and poking his head inside. “You home?”

No answer.

He frowned as he fully entered the apartment, observing the immaculate home in front of him. His colleague lived a truly minimalistic lifestyle – he found it borderline depressing, really. A small TV, two-seater couch and coffee table were all that occupied her living room. No decorative clutter. No prints on the walls. No photos of friends. Clothes on the floor.

He did a double take. Clothes on the floor?!

That… he hadn’t been expecting. Then again, he didn’t take Lute as the type to leave her front door unlocked and open when she was nowhere to be seen.

He strode forward, trying to get his bearings around her apartment based on the trail of her clothes. Crop and socks by the kitchen counter to his left. He walked past the discarded pants next to the couch on his right. A dead end with two closed doors and…something scrunched up on the floor? He bent to take a closer look and bolted upright once he realised what it was.

Her underwear.

Dismayed, he blinked repeatedly at the offending item of clothing on the floor in front of him. This surely had to be some kind of fucked-up fever dream. Because if somebody had told him that during his search for his second-in-command that he’d find himself staring down at her underwear on the floor, he would have thrown them down into the pits of Hell himself.

“Sera must have put some kind of curse on me with her four hundred weird eyes,” he muttered. “This is too messed up to be real.” He took a wide berth, desperate to avoid the offending undergarment, and found himself directly in front of one door, with another to his left. Both were closed.

He tentatively opened the door in front of him, hoping to catch her in bed, asleep. Where else could she possibly be? He knew he’d likely pay for it – she wasn’t likely to enjoy being woken up, least of all by him – but it’d be worth it just to see the sheer panic that would likely cross her face for a brief second before she went off the rails.

However, nothing could have prepared Adam for what was behind that door.

Because, he’d found his lieutenant, alright. In the bathtub, her body illuminated only by candlelight.

Naked.

Adam looked down at her, his eyes widening in horror. Oh no. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening. This was meant to be her bedroom, she was supposed to be asleep and she definitely wasn’t supposed to be fucking NAKED.

He’d opened the wrong fucking door.

“SHIT!”

He clapped his hand over the mouth of his mask, accidentally banging the door completely open in the process, revealing his presence to the wide-eyed angel laying in front of him.

The same wide-eyed angel who, renowned for her reputation as a bloodthirsty killer, had a murderous look in her eyes that he’d never seen before, despite many an excursion down to Hell.

Shit. I’m SO dead.

Lute’s Bathroom, Apartment Block, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

“I am going to KILL you!”

The water in her bath had long gone lukewarm, but white-hot heat radiated throughout Lute’s body, starting from her cheeks and spreading rapidly all the way down to her toes. Still seated, she instinctively flung her book to the other side of the room. She desperately grabbed in the direction of her towel with one hand, her other arm pressed tightly against her breasts in a feeble attempt to cover as much skin as possible. She just needed to get this towel around her, sprint to the kitchen, grab the butcher’s knife and-

“Shit!” Adam yelped, turning away from his lieutenant, drawing his golden wings around his middle to protect himself. He hastily began retreating into her lounge, eyes fixed on the front door. At lighting speed, Lute seized her opportunity to stand – an awful squelch filling the room as water sloshed out of the bath onto the floor - and retrieve her towel, hastily wrapping it around her body with one hand, not bothering to dry herself before hurling herself out of the tub towards her superior.

Her wings were weighed down with half of the water from her bath, soaking through her white towel completely so it clung to her like a skin-tight dress. As she ran, enormous puddles of water pooled in her wake, but she didn’t care. Water could be cleaned up anytime.

She had mere moments, however, to violently murder her boss.

With an almighty cry, she launched herself at Adam’s back, still clutching the towel at the top her sternum. Her knee caught him in his lower back, causing him to stumble and trip, face-down onto the carpet of her living room.

“How-” she growled, straddling his upper back with her thighs, knees poking into his armpit, leaning forward so that her free arm curled around the front of his neck, “- the fuck did you get into my house, you disgusting piece of shit?”

“Maybe,” Adam rasped, using both of his hands to pull Lute’s arm away from his windpipe, “you should learn to lock your door, Lieutenant. You left it wide open for all of Heaven to come in and enjoy the show!”

“And you didn’t think it polite to knock?!” she roared. “Or, I don’t know, try calling me first?! What could you possibly want so fucking badly,” she grunted the last word as she squeezed her thighs against his back, bracing herself so she could fend off his hands, which were gradually freeing her elbow from his throat, “that you needed to walk in on me in the fucking bath?! How long were you standing there, perv?!”

Adam groaned in discomfort as her knees dug into his underarms. Lute squeezed harder again as she moved her mouth closer to the side of his head to get close to his ear.

“I am giving you three seconds,” she snarled, ignoring her towel slipping down her chest as she channelled all her energy into closing the gap between her elbow and his neck, “to explain yourself before I choke you to death. I don’t care if Sera casts me down into hell; a life of damnation would be worth it if it meant I got to be the one to end yo-”

Adam’s right hand let go of Lute’s forearm and he braced it on the floor so he could jerk his right shoulder up and over to his left violently, causing Lute to teeter off-balance and fall sideways onto her already bruised hip. She yelped in pain, motionless for a moment and Adam, now free, took advantage of her breather to straddle her thighs, pinning them together with his own. His knees were quickly becoming soaked as he pressed into the wet towel that still clung to her lower body, but he didn’t care. She howled in rage and made to claw at his mask with her free hand before he caught her wrist and held it to the floor above her head, his face only inches above hers. With his other hand, he swiftly untangled Lute’s fist from her towel and brought it up next to her other hand, pinning her down completely.

“Listen here, girlie,” he seethed as she thrashed her legs violently behind him, attempting to use her hips to throw him off. “I didn’t fucking come here to do anything untoward, alright? I needed to talk to you urgently and you weren’t answering your phone. Your door was wide open. What else was I supposed to do?”

“You didn’t notice the trail of clothes on the floor and think I might be otherwise occupied?”

“Oh please, I’ve seen enough thongs to last me an afterlife. Your underwear on the floor wasn’t going to stop me from finding you. Besides, I’d assumed you were in bed, asleep. Hold still you crazy bitch, I need to talk to you.”

“There is nothing you could need to tell me that necessitates coming into my home uninvited - argh.” She arched her back to try and twist herself free, her towel now dangerously close to being rendered completely useless. Frustrated, wet and spent, she let her head drop back against the carpet, her chest heaving with exhaustion. Adam’s eyes flickered downwards, and he grinned devilishly.

“Didn’t realise you gave up so easily, Dangertits.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?!” she hissed. Her cheeks flushed brilliantly as she looked down and realised that he’d snuck a quick look at her cleavage, which was beginning to spill over the top of her towel.

“You heard me, babe. I think that’s what I’ll refer to you as from now on. It really…” he let his gaze trail down to her chest again, before deliberately taking his time to being his eyes back up to hers again, knowing that he was antagonising her now. A wicked gleam etched across his mask. “…suits you. Ready to wave the white flag and hear me out?”

“I’d rather fucking die.”

“Not an option, Lieutenant. Shut up and stop running that filthy mouth of yours for a sec and listen to me. That’s an order.”

Lute glowered at him.

“Let me go.”

Adam snickered. “Not a chance.”

“Now.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“I’ll tell Sera.”

“Tattling again, Lieutenant? That would be twice today. I’ll give you a hot tip, because I’m feeling generous.” He bent his head low against her ear, his forehead pressing against her hair as he whispered into her ear. “I strongly advise you against it. Wouldn’t want the boss thinking you can’t hold your own now, would you?”

Lute shuddered at his closeness – or was the adrenaline starting to wear off and a chill settling in because of the wet towel? It didn’t matter, anyway. He was right. She couldn’t go to Sera again with something like this. It would make her appear weak. Incapable. Not to mention that the whole situation was utterly humiliating, and there was no way she was telling a single soul about what had happened tonight. Not even Vaggie.

“What do you want, then?”

Adam lifted his head back up, so their faces were parallel once more and scoffed.

“Are you kidding me, babe? We’re not having this conversation right now! In case you haven’t noticed, you’re soaking wet – not in a good way, either – and basically naked. We can talk tomorrow morning.”

“Y-you,” Lute gasped, shutting her eyes in disbelief. After all this, he wasn’t even going to tell her. Oh, how she wanted nothing more than to tear him apart, limb by limb. “You asshole. You evil, conniving sonnuva-”

“Nine o’clock. Our office.” Adam released his grip on her wrist and rose to a standing position. He held out his hand to help her up, but Lute swatted it away angrily. He could shove it up his ass, as far she was concerned.

“Don’t be late.” He straightened his robes and headed towards her front door, whistling merrily to himself. Lute pulled herself into a sitting position, readjusting her towel so she was adequately covered once more. She said a silent prayer of thanks that the wetness of the towel meant that it stuck tight to her lower body, ensuring some level of modesty for her during their scrap. She desperately wanted to scream at him, throw something at his head, charge at him again and make him pay for the humiliation she’d just suffered.

But she didn’t. Because, despite wanting to exact her revenge immediately with every fibre of her being, she was overwhelmingly exhausted. At this point, all she had the energy to do was crawl into bed and forget that she’d even woken up this morning.

Adam grinned as he opened the door.

“At ease, Dangertits.” He saluted her mockingly before exiting.

He managed to close the door just in time to hear the TV remote hit the back of the door and clang to the floor.

***

Next time: Lute's suspicious that Adam's trying to poison her.

#hazbin hotel #adam x lute #guardrock #guitarspear #guitarspear fic #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lute #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin lute

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liamlawsonlesbian · 13 days ago

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fic writer questions

thank you to the lovely @mecachrome for the tag <333

how many works do you have on AO3?

there are 19 on my profile currently! there is also one anon, and I believe nine orphaned (rip)

what's your total ao3 word count?

statistics page says 92,629! it is somewhere north of that (see above reference to orphaned fics)

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

biting fic, vegas fluff, child actors au, witch charles, remote control vibrator + feelings

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

yes!! I want to show appreciation for people taking the time, and honestly I'm just so excited that I always want to respond asljdf;asaf

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

definitely i can feel the sun on you! (that is perhaps a spoiler for the 71 year old movie Roman Holiday lol)

I don't even really think of it as angsty, though, they're each in a better place than when they started, they're just not together (and I don't do that much because I'm a sap)

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

maybe the sky might not always be blue, for sure....I have a habit of leaving fics in the moment of getting together, and that one tackles the happily ever after a bit more

do you write crossovers?

not really! my old little women modern au fic has some pop-in characters from other louisa may alcott works but I don't think that really counts (I did also dabble in 1D/LM/HP crossovers as like bday presents for fandom friends back in the day but those never made it out of their inboxes lol)

have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, I'm very lucky! I have received the occasional odd "constructive" comment, but I try to take people on good faith that they're trying to be helpful! (I have also gotten a couple of less-than-stellar numerical bookmarks ratings...I am begging people to learn to use private bookmarks if they want to do that)

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes...not sure what "what kind" means, but it ranges from decidedly vanilla to somewhat less so...vibes wise it always involves a Lot of Feelings even if those feelings aren't necessarily romantic (though they often are)

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that I know of!

have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

not yet....ro and I have thrown around a couple of ideas but we haven't managed it yet. I'd be interested in trying though!

what's your all-time favorite ship?

this is an interesting question to me,,, I feel like there are different answers to this depending on if it's like...in media in general, in fic, in rpf, in f1......I will answer with Enjolras/Grantaire, bc baby 11 year old jo who had never heard the term "slash" and barely knew the concept of fanfiction read the brick and then got pissed when she was R in a drama camp production and was blocked to have a girlfriend in Drink With Me, because "obviously he's in love with enjolras"

what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

brocedes knight/prince dragonslayers my beloved/beloathed.....I know what it needs to be but it's very different than anything I have ever actually accomplished....

what are your writing strengths?

I think I'm decent at mood and imagery! but honestly I'm not sure....maybe those things only make sense in my head lol. I do know that my fics have made people laugh, which is lovely <3

what are your writing weaknesses?

plot!!! I am bad at writing anything that isn't just vignettes strung together, though I am Working On It....also sometimes I like my dialogue but other times I feel it verges on hokey....also someday I would love to be able to write something longer than 12k....or even just write something 10k again.....

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

it's tricky! I do think it's easy to fall into tropey-ness with it, especially in a fandom where it's common (eg, this one)...I definitely do it some, though! and I did enjoy putting sentences in french/spanish/italian in whole cloth in i can feel the sun on you, bc it was supposed to mimic the feeling of watching roman holiday

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

first fic I ever published was for 1D asldjfa;jf (and was.......far and away the worst case of just really obviously projecting onto some dudes I have ever done.....but I was 18 and my mom had just died so)

first fic I ever wrote, before I even knew it was called that, was definitely either anne of green gables or lord of the rings, in fourth grade

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

someday i will write the perfect his dark materials fic and actually know peace.....also in f1 terms I would love to Actually write galex!! i love them so much that it's sort of weird that I haven't written them

what's your favorite fic you've written?

it depends on the day! right now I would say either you don't have to know that it's haunted or would have loved you (in a day or two)

no-pressure tags: @oscarpiastriwdc @blorbocedes @kritischetheologie @wewentcarracing @gayferrari @foggieststars and anyone else who wants to do it! I have no idea who's done this one already

#tag games #fic stuff #thanks kaia this was so funnnn

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widowsofchaos · 1 year ago

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8 with steve rogers please🥺🥺♥️ thank you

𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐧

synopsis: a mission goes wrong, and all there is left is pain. but, there’s always light.

ao3

a/n: “You take me instead, do you hear me? Give her back and take me instead!” requested 8 from this dialogue prompt list, with Steve Rogers. sorry tumblr ate the inbox message.

warnings: mention of SA, ptsd, minor angst, recovery.

The ruins of ghosts’ past haunt you.

You were once as pure as a church, clean and holy —- now desolate, abandoned, and corrupted. Ruined. Broken pews where little children once bowed their little heads in prayer.

All these disregulated nerves alight with fire, and terror. Cautiously awaiting for the monsters to come out of the darkness, and finally devour the remaining carcass.

Five months ago.

Armed to the teeth with strapped weaponry, and confidence. An abandoned Hydra base left to rot in the middle of wilderness.

Cautious steps tread the corridors with precision, and stealth. As your husband was scouting the other end of the base, he entrusted you to be safe.

Found a laboratory, old vials of chemicals, and gasses. Dead silence hung over you as a wet blanket—- ears straining, faint footsteps near.

It was a blur.

All you can recall was the acidic scent of gas, shouting, a kick to your ribs, and your name being shouted through your comm.

His sweet voice bellowing, pleading for your life, sweet Steve. ‘You take me instead, do you hear me? Give her back and take me instead!’

Held onto those words wound tight, as if you could weave them between your fingers from it’s vibrations, pull the static itself and wear it as brass knuckles.

Endless days of pain, stripped of your sanity, stripped to the marrow of nothingness. Girlflesh licked and bit at, one eye swollen shut, and upper lip plumped to a ripe bruise.

Split knuckles, torn and raw. Calculated blows bled to feral clawing, and biting, punches earning cherry stained ivories. Pinned to the cold floor by your wrists, and ankles by filthy palms, multiple men snickering in German, as they hovered over you, thrusting as swine.

Locked away to rot, no sunlight, no fresh air, only the stale scent of your urine, and … other bodily fluids. Every few hours, another agent came, and beat your weakened state.

It was hell.

Time was nothing but imagination.

Until finally, yells and gunfire erupted from the outside. A man’s skull smashed against the door, bursting the metal door wide open.

Light surrounded his blonde tresses as a halo. Towering over you, with soft hands.

He gently held your body, causing you to shrill in agony. Steve silently cried over you, whispering ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ under his breath, pleading for forgiveness for every wail that seeped from you.

Steve held you all through the ride on the jet. Friday’s monitors checking over your vitals, and not even blinking away.

Once the doctors at the compound told him the extent of your injuries, and what was found inside of you. He nearly broke into a rampage that only settled with Bucky tackling him into a bear hug.

The mental scars weren’t healing. You felt pathetic, and weak. You never lost control.

Tiresome training that stretched itself through hours, day after day, demanding for the most brutal discipline from Natasha. Demanding for more and more, barely any water breaks—- for a moment to breathe.

Compulsive need to feel the pain, to bare your teeth in reaction, triggering fear which led to lashing out and screaming—- and a concerned Natasha.

Eventually, this habit led to a halt with a towering Natasha hissing, enough . Her green eyes lidded, with concern. Hands at the jut of her hips.

“Replacing the grief with aggression, isn’t going to fix it.”

“How would you know? You’re the world’s deadliest woman.” You snarked back, monotone and sarcastic.

A pregnant silence.

“I wasn’t always.”

Her tone is soft, and speaks with an unspoken feeling. You understood, but didn’t dare ask. Ending the conversation at that.

And it was never brought up again.

Sex only brought revulsion, not towards Steve. But towards yourself, all you saw was ugliness. A mere touch brought you back to that dark cell.

Vices became familiar habits again, smoking, and rarely eating.

Every-time he touched you, you cried. Bawled as a child, hysterically. Hyperventilating as all he can do is watch, and guide you through it, just like the therapist instructed.

Days not spent on training, are held up in your bedroom, blankly staring up at the ceiling, tailbone aching from oversleeping.

The waves of stress crash against the strong willed ship that is your marriage. Irritated to even talk, disconnected from everyone, every mirror has been smashed.

Now you lay here, in the dark.

From the corner of your oculus, faintly in the crevices of your mind, there is an inky black mass—— just staring, always near.

And yet, somehow, you’re convinced that it’s real, that you must respond to the plaguing thoughts; but the body doesn’t recognize false visions, only fear.

The bedroom door quietly opens. Taking most of the entrances' space, divine shoulders squared, and those knowing blue pools with murky green swirls.

Coiffed blonde hair, and tender blue eyes. A nose that rivals a roman god, a man that would be mounted in a church, the face of a saint.

Your saint.

Century old eyes that seen more than it can bear, ever so knowing. Perhaps, he heard your thoughts, and came to your aid.

His footsteps dull against the carpet, gently coming towards you. His hand hesitatingly stretches out, unaware if touch is right.

But you yearn for it, silently asking for comfort.

Gently his hand lays on your chest, circular rubs to soothe the haggard breathing. Shooing away the bad thoughts as a mother would.

“Deep breaths.” Steve says, “It’s okay.” Filling your chest with gusts of air, being guided by his voice, with the lulling twang of that Brooklyn accent.

You want to break through the fog. You yearn to heal these angry wounds.

Watery sigh escapes you, eyes never leaving the ceiling, and for a fleeting moment, you wish you died in the cell. Then maybe, you wouldn’t subject your husband—-

“Mama?”

—- and your daughter to your troubles.

A creek at the door is followed by small footsteps. Her small body shuffles and ruffles on the blanket at the edge of the bed, quickly lifted by Steve by her belly.

Steve gently shushes her, a reminder saying, ‘be careful, remember, mommy isn’t well’. Soft snuffles, and grunts follow with each tug of the blanket, and your legs as support.

Climbing over your body, your daughter’s little chubby hands dents onto the flesh of your body. Slowly the black mass evaporates, its suffocating presence dissipates into nothing.

As a fog clears from your mind, and a small smile forms at the corner of your mouth. Steve smiles a little, his hand caressing her little head.

“Mama, are you okay?” Her baby voice lulls you, and brings tears to your eyes. “Yeah,” your voice raspy, “Mama’s okay.” Nodding weakly.

What was it your therapist said, again?

‘There’s always light at the tunnel. You just have to find it.’

Her little cherub brown cheeks puffed, and plump. Ripe for kisses. Her little fingers toying with your face.

‘And if that light isn’t your husband,’

Your eyes gaze up at Steve, love emitting from his blue hues. Your weak hand shakingly moves to his cheek, he leans into your touch, closing his eyes.

‘Then I’m damn sure, it’s your little girl.’

Slowly, your eyes sheen wet at the brim, looking at such innocence. Untainted, and pure. Life doesn’t end, it just changes, like the seasons. Some good, and some bad.

‘You don’t have to heal today, and I don’t expect you to heal tomorrow. But remember what we have created. She’s so much more than us.’ Steve’s words from therapy ring in your mind.

It doesn’t end.

“I love you, mama.”

You inhale a watery breath, smiling from ear to ear. A relief curling in your chest.

“I love you too, my little bubble.”

#widowsofchaos wrote this #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader angst #drabble #Alexa! play let the light in by Lana Del Rey

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chloecherrysip · 2 years ago

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Maybe that Mario & Luigi warping footage has driven me mad and now I'm just terminally stuck on MAXIMUM BROTHERLY ANGST but the fact that the Mario movie seems willing to go to a very emotional and sweet place with their relationship is killing me!!! Here are some Mario and Luigi-specific theories/possible moments I've been thinking about for the movie, all nicely compiled (and not just tossed into other people's inboxes, haha) - maybe they'll happen in some way, maybe they won't, but if they DO, oh man, I will be a puddle of goo in the movie theater they'll have to sweep up afterwards:

Mario opening up to Peach and Toad about Luigi, what their life was like in the past, their closeness, and his fears/anxieties about the possibility of not being able to save his brother (some version of this seems EXTREMELY likely in the fire flower scene) (and likewise, Luigi talking to his fellow prisoners about Mario and how much he misses his brother!)

Both brothers taking moments throughout the movie to think of each other and draw inner strength/resolve from that - for instance, Mario struggling with his training, feeling exhausted and hopeless, but thinking of Luigi in danger and how much his brother needs him and that giving him the burst of strength and determination he needs to finally complete the course

LIKEWISE, Luigi panicking or struggling to act in his scary predicaments but thinking of Mario and what he would do/say in situations like this and being able to keep going/stay brave because of that memory

BOWSER FIGURING OUT THE RELATION AND USING LUIGI AGAINST MARIO AT A CRITICAL MOMENT??? (I'm sorry, but it feels like the interrogation stuff has to lead SOMEWHERE) (Bowser clearly is looking for info/weak points he can use against Mario, and Luigi himself ultimately IS that weak point!!!)

This could play out in a lot of different ways - using an in-danger Luigi as bait for a trap, maybe there's some Magic Shenanigans where Kamek throws Luigi's voice to lure Mario away from the group during a battle, or maybe Bowser just taunts Mario about his brother and how Mario's too weak to save him from the torture he's endured/will endure. Whatever the case is, Mario's anger and Ultra Big Brother Instincts overriding all other common sense could cause him to act too rashly or make some serious mistakes in the heat of the moment. :(

Either brother thinking that the other is dead for any period of time and just being BROKEN but also FULL OF FIERY VENGEANCE because of it!!! I know, I know, put me in Angst Jail but Mario could get blown off Rainbow Road and presumed dead for a little while, which could get back to Luigi through Bowser or his minions, OR maybe Luigi escapes but Bowser lies to Mario and tells that he disposed of his brother already and he's too late. I could just see both of them breaking down at first but ultimately being ANGRY above all else and resolving to avenge the other, no matter what ;___; (and this would also make their eventual reunion even MORE emotional and impactful)

Speaking of, the brothers reuniting with the BIGGEST, MOST DESPERATE, CLINGING HUG YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE (this is truly all I care about, I just need the movie to get this right, PLEASE)

Bonus points if there's a big lead-up to it where they maybe they just hear each other at first, or they see one another from a far-away distance and they're just RUNNING and FIGHTING and SCRAMBLING to reach each other, calling out all the while, to the point that they can't even stop, they just TACKLE each other at full speed

(They've never been apart this long before! Ever since they can remember, they've been joined at the hip, and this whole time, it's felt like they were missing a limb, but now THEY'RE BOTH HERE and THEY'RE OKAY and there's a lot of fussing over injuries and frantic questions and THE BIGGEST, TEARIEST SMILES EVER and it finally feels like everything's really gonna be okay, even though there might still be an ongoing invasion/final battle to take care of)

After reuniting, there being a situation where they need to split up again temporarily to accomplish different goals in the name of stopping Bowser and Mario is actually the more anxious one for once who really doesn't want to let Luigi out of his sight after they've just found each other again, but Luigi takes a turn reassuring him that it's gonna be okay (and Mario is quietly impressed by how his brother seems a little braver after his ordeal)

ALSO after reuniting, there being a moment before the final battle with Bowser where Mario is self-doubting and isn't sure he can win, but Luigi doesn't understand that because ever since they were little and dealing with playground bullies, he's ALWAYS thought of Mario as a hero - this new role just fits him so well, at least in Luigi's eyes, and he knows that Mario can do this (I KNOW, I KNOW, A LITTLE CHEESY, but!! i just love the idea of Luigi hearing about/seeing his brother as The Hero and being like "yep, my big bro IS amazing and brave and the absolute best, this makes sense!")

At any point, Mario actually seeing Bowser hurt/threaten Luigi and just going ABSOLUTELY BALLISTIC because of it. RIP BOWSER, YA IDIOT

Possibly related to the above, but it feels like a pretty sure thing that the final battle has to be Bowser VS Mario all the way, that's how so many games end, but! I do think Luigi could provide important assistance at one or two moments. Like maybe Bowser is startling to struggle and goes for the power star, but Luigi has already beaten him to it and manages to throw it to Mario before Bowser reaches him - but then he gets STRUCK HARD or even knocked out by Bowser and Mario's anguished reaction sets off the star's power! (I did see that somewhere else, not my original idea - the concept that the star can only be activated by an intense, pure-hearted emotion - but I love it <3)

That's all I got for now - again, even a FRACTION of these happening would be officially Too Much for my little, feeble heart. I'm just so grateful that from everything we've seen so far, the movie really does seem to be centering the brothers' relationship (even if they're not physically together for most of it) and how much they mean to each other and that is everything!

#mario movie #super mario bros #mario and luigi #super mario bros movie #mario movie speculation #mario movie spoilers #cherrysip hc's & rambling #(these are definitely NOT spoilers but just in case people don't even want to see guesses at what may happen lol)#i have always wanted more mario content about the brothers and their bond and how they would do anything for each other and #this movie does truly feel like a DREAM sometimes in that regard even if it is sad they won't spend a lot of onscreen time together #also i really wish i didn't have to say this but PLEASE don't be gross on this post or reblog it as a “ship” thing it is NOT meant that way

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snippychicke · 2 years ago

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Okay, so, I have NO IDEA if you’re taking requests or not BUT some Opera with Kalego’s Lady-Love when they were in Babylis leaving a FUMING WITH RAGE AND JEALOUS Kalego

So, this has been in my inbox forever and I apologize. Also, I do not know how this will turn out. As you know, Demon!reader is a new attempt for me, but *cracks knuckles* lets do this.

Obviously set during Kalego, Opera, and Shichiro's school years.

----

True to Shichiro's words, you found Kalego tearing through one of the training grounds of the Strength Batra. A few years ago, the place had been a disaster; but as the chaos of Babyls slowly settled, it had become usable once more.

Well, had been. Even though Opera and Shichiro were easily the strongest physically, Kalego wasn't exactly a wimp. Even without using magic, he was destroying the poles and earthen walls of the training ground with little problem.

Kalego… was a little rough around the edges, though through the few years you had known him, he was starting to control himself better. You could see hints of the adult you were sure he would become, far unlike his Uncle and current 'guard dog' of the school (which was a joke). No - he would be calm, level headed, and take his responsibility seriously. You knew Babyls would flourish under his protection, and couldn't wait to see it.

It had been a while since you had seen him erupt, and if your feeling was right, Opera was once again the cause.

After about half an hour, Kalego seemed to finish his outburst and began to correct the damage he caused. Which meant it was likely time for you to try and fix whatever chaos Opera had started.

"Kalego!" You called out as you approached, watching him freeze for a short moment before looking up. You weren't sure if his flushed cheeks were from his previous activities - being caught red handed - or something else. "I wanted to talk to you for a moment."

"Hm?" He growled as he continued his work, almost pointedly trying to ignore you. And failing.

And, well, you didn't exactly like being ignored, so you decided to jump to the main reason you were here.

"Shichiro said you saw Opera and me," You stated, and saw him freeze yet again. "And I wanted to explain."

"You don't have anything to explain," He bit out. "If you really like that psychopath, then obviously I don't know you as well as I thought."

Yep. He was certainly jealous. Your stomach twisted with both nerves and excitement at the realization. "I do like that psychopath, but not in the way you think."

"They kissed you." Kalego finally turned and faced you, his dark eyes narrowed in a glare, but unable to hide the watery gleam to them. "You had your arms wrapped around their waist."

"They kissed my forehead," You pointed out. "And I was hugging them. Its what siblings do."

Kalego opened his mouth, and then promptly closed it, confusion evident on his face. "Siblings?"

"Not by blood," You acknowledged. "Lets just say we both had a hard start to life, and, well, we formed an alliance before Lord Sullivan found us. We were the only family we knew."

His expression softened, though there was still distrust evident. "We've known each other for years, why not say anything before now?"

You shrugged. "It never came up. And besides, would you let anyone know your weakness in this place before we started cleaning it up?"

"... I guess not," He agreed after a moment, a pout on his face.

Anger: diffused. Now time to tackle the next issue. The one that had your heart fluttering in your chest.

"Now," You started as you stepped closer, biting your lip as you carefully watched his expression. Startled, wary of your approach. But just a hint of something else. Hope? Maybe… Desire?

Devi, you were hoping.

"Do you want to tell me why you were so upset by that?" You played the tactics you learned from Seduction class, fiddling with the collar of his uniform as you stepped inside his personal space. Meet his gaze softly, slowly run your tongue over your lips.

And you had a blushing mess of a demon in your hands. It was easy to tell he had completely forgotten your question, his gaze trapped with yours. You could have ended it there, pulling him down for a kiss.

But, well, you could see the appeal in taunting Kalego - though in a much different way than Opera.

You also had dreamt of him kissing you first. And while you knew it was a silly thing, you wanted to see if you could make that dream a reality.

"Because, if you wanted to kiss me, all you have to do is ask-"

He didn't even let you finish, his lips pressing against yours hungrily, his hands gripping at your waist as he pulled you closer. There was a brief moment of mentally cheering in your mind before you tangled your fingers in his hair and lost yourself in the kiss.

#mairimashita! iruma kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #kalego naberious #kalego/reader

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haztobegood · 1 year ago

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✨ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨

Thank you @reminiscingintherain for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

67, soon to be 68 with the Trick or Treat Fest ficlet I've written!

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

359,280

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction. I've written some 1d rare pairs which adds BBC Radio 1, Music, Fashion Model, and Actor RPF to my fandoms list in ao3.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nailed By Louis, Not Another Lonely Christmas, All That You Need, The Prince and The YouTuber, Take on Me

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Not right away but I do respond. I read them as soon as I see the email notification, but I wait to respond until I need a boost. It's so nice to reread every comment in my inbox as I respond.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Surprisingly not the one that ends with MCD! My angstiest ending is a 500 word girl direction ficlet The Phantom Heart.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I love happy endings so it's tough to pick! I'm going to go with We're Getting Better With Time because it's about second chances, so the ending feels like a new beginning for their love.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

The closest thing I've gotten to hate was a tweet about Premier Fantasies where someone was appalled by the Harry Styles/Ted Lasso pairing. It wasn't aimed at my writing, just the choice in pairing, so I took it as a compliment that I could write something that shocked people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do write it, but not as much as I used to. When I started writing I felt so much pressure to add smut into every fic because it gets better engagement, more hits, etc. But the more I've written, the less I care about the numbers.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've written a couple of crossovers! Premier Fantasies is Harry Styles in the Ted Lasso universe, which was crazy just because of the pairing. I had a lot of fun writing dialogue for Ted in this one. The craziest plot-wise is Love and Other Antidotes, which is a One Direction take on Emperor's New Groove, and features Kronk, Disney style hijinks, and Harry as a little cow!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of. I think short fics and rare pairs tend to be stolen less often, so so far I've been safe.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't allow translations, but someone did post a translation of one without asking. I have mixed feelings about translations.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I feel like as a capricorn I would want to have too much control over the story for it to be a good idea.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I read and write Larry fics the most, but I also love Niall/Greg James as a pairing and think their dynamic is so underrated.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My very first fic. It's a werewolf pack fic I started plotting in 2017. I didn't get very far before hitting some major plot holes that I was too inexperienced as a writer to be able to fill. I have grown so much as a writer since then that it wouldn't be the same fic with the same purpose as when I started writing it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

My biggest strength is that I write for myself. I love writing short oneshots even though long fics are get more kudos. I adore the humor of crack fics, even though angsty fics get more hits. I will tackle any new rare pair I want, even if I'm the only person that will read it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am a creature of habit and my habits have been disturbed. I'd worked hard to develop a habit of writing a couple of times a week, and it was going so well. But after moving and other life changes in the last year, it's been difficult to find the time or energy to write. I wish I could flip on the motivation like a switch.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

There are a couple of books I remember because of the author's use of code switching throughout the dialogue, and I think it can be really powerful for some stories. But since English is my native language, I would only use it for my own writing if it added to the story, and if had the time to properly research and get it reviewed.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The phandom in 2016 but I didn't post it back then. One Direction was the first fandom where I shared my fic.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I'm going to do this by category because I can't choose only one:

Larry fic: We're Getting Better With Time Girl Direction fic: Close Our Eyes (Pretend We're Miles Away) Rare Pair fic: Now All The Clouds Been Lifted Ficlet: Through the Static

~~~~~

Tagging: @allwaswell16 @hazzabeeforlou @beelou @evilovesyou @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @kingsofeverything @banaanipoika9 @justanothershadeofblue @disgruntledkittenface @zanniscaramouche

#fics and wips

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twinkboimler · 1 year ago

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20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Tagged by @m-b-w, thank you!

Questions are answered under the cut!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

58 works

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

693,141 words

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, only Star Trek; while my focus tends to be on TOS, AOS, and SNW, I'm open to writing for other trek series and will when the inspiration strikes! Previously, I've written a fair amount for MST3K and Anne with an E.

4) Top 5 fics by kudos?

Imagining Something Worthwhile - AWAE Oddly Unexpected, Oddly Charming - AWAE Hush - AWAE Heaven Help The Fool Who Falls In Love - AWAE An Endless Stream of Tomorrows - TOS

(lmao, can you tell I was writing AWAE fic as the show was airing? I think that was the only fandom I've written for while a fandom was at it's peak popularity)

5) Do you respond to comments?

Not always and I do feel bad about that. I try my best when the comment is especially sweet or lengthy, but I've got about 10 unread comments in my inbox right now that I haven't replied to because too much time has passed and it feels like it's too late

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

with trembling hands, my SNW Spock/Pike fic that has a sad ending. Super happy with how angsty that fic ends tbh I really wanted to write a fic for Spock/Pike that tackled how Pike would end their relationship as the radiation stuff was quickly approaching

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I've posted so many fluffy oneshots that it's kinda hard to choose. An Endless Stream of Tomorrows is definitely high on that list

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. The closest I get in the trek fandom are comments correcting me on some lore in my fics. Which, sure, is sometimes nice and useful, but sometimes I don't really need a "um, actually--" on a 1000 word fluff fic

9) Do you write smut?

Yes, and I'm finally at the point where I really 1) enjoy writing smut and 2) think I'm getting good at it

10) Do you write crossovers?

I have one, and I so RARELY get to talk about it because it was written for me and like two friends. Night Shift is my crossover fic: it's Spike from BTVS X Gambit from X-Men (and apparently it has 21 kudos??? who are you people reading this crack ship???). Anyway, Gambit and Spike hook up and through a series of misunderstandings, they end up on a roadtrip/fleeing a murder scene together. Spike thinks Gambit is a demon, and Gambit has no idea Spike is a vampire. I'm realizing I haven't reread this fic since I posted it, which is WILD because this is such a self-indulgent fic, so I'm going to go read that now

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but people are free to do so! Just credit the original work :)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! Between You and Me (AWAE) was such an interesting project to work on! There was a group of about 13 of us, and we all had a week to read the previous chapter and write our own chapters to continue the story. I'd love to do something like that again

14) What's your all-time favorite ship?

Spike/Buffy, but funnily enough, I don't have a strong drive to read fic for them. I'm satisfied with how the show handles their relationship arc and haven't really had to resort to reading fic because of that

15) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I don't post wips that I don't intend to finish. I've got a few wips in my docs that may never be finished of course, but on AO3 my only wip rn is Place Your Hand In Mine, my AOS academy-era mckirk fic, and I fully intend to finish that one; other fics (trektober, zines fics, etc) just got in the way

16) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and smut

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Still trying to be a more concise writer; I'd love to be able to say more with less words

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I haven't taken a language course in 5+ years. I think if I had to I could write some simple French dialogue, but not without doing a lot of studying to make sure I was saying what I meant

19) First fandom you wrote for?

On AO3, X-Men. IRL? when I was 12 the only person I knew who wrote fic was writing Youtuber fanfic, so I tried that out for a short stint before immediately shifting to Doctor Who

20) Favorite fic you've ever written?

what remains unsaid. I don't think it's my best fic, but it does hit all the beats for what I often look for in fic, so it's doing everything that I want in a story. What really draws me to some of the TOS Movies is how they deal with themes of parenthood and Jim never really fitting into the role of father and being very aware that he doesn't fit that role. I just really love that he's shown as having faults, like yeah, he wasn't a father to David and he knows that. This fic is in a 5+1 Things format exploring Jim's relationship (or lack of) to David. It's not a ship fic; it was just a chance for me to explore those themes and really dive into Jim's head.

TAGGING: @antspaul @ladywaffles @diabeticjedi @gunstreet @borbtrek and anyone else who would like to do it, feel free to say I tagged you!

#phebs writes fic #tag game #fanfic

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tallmantall · 4 months ago

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - Why Men's Suicide Rates are Alarmingly High

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Why Men's Suicide Rates are Alarmingly High Suicide rates among men have reached critical levels, driven by a complex interplay of psychological, social, and biological factors. Suicide in men has been described as a "silent epidemic," and for good reason. Around the world, men are far more likely than women to take their own lives, with rates significantly higher across various age groups. In the United States, for instance, the age-adjusted suicide rate for men in 2014 was 20.7 per 100,000, compared to just 5.8 per 100,000 for women. This translates to a ratio of 3.57 to 1. The story is similar in other countries: in Germany, the UK, Hungary, and Lithuania, male suicide rates are all more than three times greater than those of women. What makes these statistics particularly alarming is that the suicide rates in men have been steadily increasing. From 1999 to 2014, the overall rate for men of all ages in the US increased by a staggering 43% for those aged 45-64 and by 37% for boys aged 10-14. This trend underscores the necessity of understanding the myriad factors contributing to this public health crisis. This article delves into the complex interplay of psychological, social, and biological factors contributing to the high suicide rates in men. It sheds light on the importance of an integrated approach in tackling this issue, involving individual, societal, and policy-level interventions. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub Understanding the Context The phenomenon of male suicide is multi-faceted. A lack of help-seeking behavior, work-related stress, impulsivity, substance abuse, and relationship breakdowns are among the many psychosocial contributors. Moreover, biological factors such as hormonal imbalances and genetic predispositions play significant roles. One key issue is that men are significantly less likely to seek help for mental health concerns compared to women. Men often perceive needing help as a sign of weakness or failure, which deters them from utilizing available mental health resources. This reluctance is deeply embedded in societal norms that emphasize masculine ideals of self-reliance and emotional stoicism. Dr. Leo Sher, the author of the study and a psychiatrist at the James J. Peters Veterans' Administration Medical Center in New York, remarks, "The problem of suicide in men is underappreciated and understudied. Current measures to reduce suicidality in men are either insufficient, or incorrect, or both." It's clear that more targeted efforts are needed to address the unique challenges men face when it comes to mental health. Delving into the Methods The research conducted by Dr. Sher and his colleagues utilized a variety of methods to understand the underlying factors contributing to male suicidality. They conducted systematic reviews of existing literature, analyzed national and international suicide statistics, and examined psychosocial and biological data relevant to men's mental health. One of the key methodological approaches was the use of comparative analysis. By comparing suicide rates between men and women across different countries and age groups, the researchers were able to identify patterns and outliers, providing insight into potential causes and risk factors. This comparative approach helped illuminate the specific vulnerabilities faced by men. Another important aspect of the methodology was the inclusion of longitudinal data. By examining changes in suicide rates over time, the researchers could identify trends and determine whether interventions had been effective. This long-term perspective is crucial for understanding how societal changes, economic fluctuations, and policy shifts impact mental health outcomes. Psychosocial Factors Psychosocial factors play a significant role in the high rates of male suicide. Work-related stress, for example, is more likely to affect men than women, given societal expectations around men being the primary breadwinners. Loss of employment or financial instability can have devastating consequences on men's mental well-being. Similarly, relationship breakdowns, such as divorce or separation, disproportionately affect men, who are more likely to experience isolation and loss of social support in the aftermath. Substance abuse is another critical factor. Men are more likely than women to engage in risky behaviors involving alcohol and drugs. These substances can exacerbate mental health issues, leading to increased impulsivity and higher rates of suicide. Dr. Sher notes, "Men are more impulsive and aggressive than women and use more alcohol and drugs of abuse. Divorced and separated men are significantly more likely to kill themselves than their married counterparts." Furthermore, impulsivity and a tendency to use highly lethal means of suicide, such as firearms or hanging, contribute to the higher fatality rates among men. These methods leave little room for intervention and increase the likelihood of successful suicide attempts. Biological and Neurobiological Factors While psychosocial factors are significant, biological and neurobiological aspects cannot be ignored. Androgens, including testosterone, have been implicated in mood disorders and suicidal behavior. Both high and low levels of testosterone can contribute to mental health issues, highlighting the need for a nuanced approach to understanding hormonal influences. The complex interaction between genetic predispositions and environmental stressors also plays a role. Familial history of suicide, mental health disorders, and specific genetic markers can increase the risk of suicidality. Understanding these genetic and biological underpinnings is crucial for developing targeted interventions and personalized treatment plans. Societal Norms and Help-Seeking Behavior One of the most significant barriers to addressing male suicide is societal norms around masculinity. Traditional masculine ideals emphasize strength, self-reliance, and emotional restraint, which discourage men from seeking help for mental health concerns. This stigma around help-seeking behavior can delay or prevent men from receiving the support they need. Moreover, mental health services and interventions are often not tailored to men's unique needs. Dr. Sher suggests that lowering the threshold for diagnosing and treating major depression in men could be beneficial, but notes that further research is needed to determine the effectiveness of this approach in reducing suicidal behavior. Challenges and Limitations Despite the valuable insights provided by this research, there are several challenges and limitations to consider. One major challenge is the variability in data sources and reporting practices across different countries, which can affect the accuracy and comparability of suicide statistics. Furthermore, the observational nature of this study limits the ability to draw causal inferences. Another limitation is the potential for underreporting of male suicides, as some deaths may be classified as accidents or misattributed to other causes. This underreporting can skew the data and hinder our understanding of the true extent of the issue. To mitigate these limitations, future research should focus on harmonizing data collection practices and developing standardized criteria for reporting and classifying suicides. Additionally, more in-depth studies are needed to explore the causal relationships between various risk factors and male suicidality. Future Research Directions Looking ahead, there are several promising avenues for future research on male suicide. One area of interest is the development of early interventions for adolescent boys and young men. By addressing mental health issues early on, it may be possible to reduce the prevalence of psychiatric morbidity and suicidality in adulthood. Research should also explore the effectiveness of population-based approaches to suicide prevention. Dr. Sher suggests reallocating resources from individuals deemed at high risk to a broader population-level strategy, which could potentially lower overall suicide rates. Moreover, interdisciplinary approaches that integrate psychological, social, and biological perspectives are essential for developing comprehensive interventions. Collaboration between mental health professionals, policymakers, and researchers can lead to more effective strategies for reducing male suicidality. Conclusion In conclusion, the high rates of male suicide represent a complex and multifaceted public health challenge. Understanding the interplay between psychosocial, biological, and societal factors is crucial for developing effective interventions. By addressing societal norms around masculinity, improving access to mental health services, and conducting targeted research, it is possible to make significant strides in reducing male suicidality. As Dr. Sher emphasizes, "Public health awareness of differences in suicidal behavior and mental health between men and women needs to be improved." Only through a concerted effort can we hope to address this silent epidemic and save lives. Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com Read the full article

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malka-lisitsa · 7 months ago

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✦ ok BUT i wanna say something about yours too because you encapsulate katherine so perfectly. every dialogue, every piece of thought and direction you write is so her. i've never met someone who captured a canon so well like you have, fr. i have not followed another katherine and i likely never will because i don't think anyone can else can bring her to life and give her so much love like you have.

drop a ✦ in my inbox and i'll tell you at least one thing i like about your writing, portrayal, headcanons, world building, blog aesthetics, whatever it is i like about your blog

First I'll tackle your compliment- You have put so much effort, love, and dedication into Kage and it really shows in how engaging his interactions are. It's easy to pick one or two things to base an OC on and make the OC just those one or two things- but you keep him so well ROUNDED so REAL that sometimes im like "what show is this dude from again I should watch it.."

SECOND-

Sobbing. Genuinely I try my absolute hardest to do exactly that. NGL I have always enjoyed my tumblr rpc popularity on the blogs I've achieved it on- but I have always strived to have actually earned it with my portrayal and not something shallow or just having a million friends hype me up. Im really happy to see that the hard work is appreciated and seen. I've spent a lot of time studying Katherine and looking into what makes her who she is. Her strengths and weaknesses and how she acts and presents herself and the motivations behind each interaction. I am more than pleased to hear that all that dedication has landed me the spot of one and only for you ;)

#Answered #demonstigma #save #positivity

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zbeez-outlet · 3 years ago

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Hello, I have another Levi Ackerman x femreader request after the amazing job you did on my first one! I would like to request one where the reader is sick and Levi has to look after her. Like one where the reader is sick during training and Levi carries her back to his office and claims it's his duty to look after her as he's her Captain. Fluff, hurt/comfort and angst would be much appreciated. Hope that's okay :)

Fever

Levi x FemReader

Canon Universe

Pre-relationship

Concept: See request above!

Summary: As the newest member of the Special Operations Squad, you're eager to prove yourself not only to your Captain, but also to yourself that all of your hard work has paid off. Weakness breeds doubt, something you're not willing to entertain for a moment. Waking up with a fever and nausea curling in your stomach makes proving yourself just a pinch more difficult. Maybe no one will notice.

Warnings: Angst, illness, vomit, fever, some cursing, (If I missed anything, please let me know)

A/N: I am now tackling the amazing requests I've gotten in my inbox. If you've made a request, know that it's on its way and I'm writing as much as I can. You all have some great ideas! If you want to make a request, check out my Submission Guidelines for more details and keep an eye out for my inbox to reopen :)

The world tilts dangerously about a third of the way through your ninth lap around headquarters and you're starting to think the ache you'd felt that morning in your stomach was more than just residual cramping from your last period. Since then, you've gotten dizzy, become prone to sweating and sudden chills within seconds of each other, with a sore throat and a heavily congested chest, and you've had to swallow down the threat of nausea several times since breakfast.

You're sure the sloppy oatmeal you'd choked down will look just as appetizing coming up as it did going down.

Sweat drips into the divots of your collarbone, soaking unpleasantly into the fabric of your uniform and making everything disgustingly sticky. You struggle to suck in air as you run, already several meters behind the others in your new squad, but something heavy has settled in your chest, pushing on your lungs.

You feel pathetic.

It's been nearly six weeks since you were transferred into the Special Operations Squad by request of Captain Levi himself. They welcomed you with open arms and teasing taunts for the newbie, but you were quick to give as good as you got once you got a feel for their dynamic and boundaries. You'd managed to keep up well despite being several years younger and with only a fraction of the experience they'd survived, making especially close friendships with Petra - as the only other girl - and Eld, who tended to act particularly brotherly. Just those few weeks and already you feel like you've gained a new family.

And now here you are, two weeks from the next expedition, sick pooling in your stomach and pulsing in the heartbeat behind your eyes, unable to finish your squad's morning lap rotation. Shame swirls in your throat, a part of you angry with yourself that you can't just shake this off. The larger part of you is just trying to stay on two feet while the world seems to shift unnaturally below you, practically praying that the tears you feel building in your eyes don't overflow.

At the sound of someone calling your name, you trip to your knees when the vertigo of looking up has you stalling. Strong hands steady your shoulders so you don't completely face plant into the grass, and before you think too much on it, your own fingers grip at their wrists as a grounding point.

"Cadet, talk to me," a deep voice you know all too well barks by your ear. Your Captain was the one to catch you, how embarrassing. You wonder how much he's questioning your addition to the squad.

"Captain I - sorry, sir...dizzy." You lean further forward passed Captain Levi's shoulder, practically folding yourself in half as you try to steady the shifting haziness in your vision. "Woke up not - not right...thought it'd pass but...but got worse."

Even you think what you just said makes about as much sense has one of Squad Leader Hange's rambling titan tangents.

Fingers cold like ice press to your forehead, the shocking sensation having you flinching back onto your heels. "Tch, don't move so much," your Captain orders, holding you in place by the scruff of your neck and laying his palm against your forehead again. "You have a fever. You're done for the day, Cadet."

"Wait, no - I can...just give me a minute - "

"You disobeying me, Cadet?"

You swallow, both to keep the rising nausea at bay and at the subtle sting of the harsh authority in his voice. "No, Captain Levi, sir!"

"Lose the equipment, the others will take care of it. I'll help you back to the barracks." He sounds uncharacteristically soft when he says it, helping to guide your hands along the straps. You always train in full kit to make sure your bodies are toned and used to the extra weight.

As you go about unbuckling the various straps, you finally notice the rest of your squad huddled around your pitifully kneeling form. You expect to see teasing smirks barely holding back biting jabs about being new and weak and young, but you only spot the curving worry of Petra's frown and the matching concern sparkling in Eld and Gunther's eyes. Even Oluo, who's always had the iciest barbs to through about your age and minimal experience, seems gruffly perturbed by your downed state. It almost makes you want to cry, realizing how much they already care about you in such a short amount of time.

You pass off the last of your equipment to Eld who has taken to kneeling beside you, heavy hand on your trembling shoulder. "Getting sick happens, just take care of yourself, alright? You'll be running laps around us again in no time." He smiles at you, gently cuffing your chin with a soft fist. You nod and manage half a watery grin in response.

"Eld, I expect you to lead the rest of training today. No slacking off you four," Captain Levi orders, not even bothering to watch as they salute him and head back to the lap route. His eyes are strangely focused on yours, and you briefly wonder how disgusting you must look between the cold sweat and the dirt that's built up on your uniform. "Think you can stand?"

Honestly no, but you think you can try, so you nod anyway.

Standing turns out to be the easy part, as long as you go slow. Your Captain stays close, hands hovering like he expects you to fall. A fair assumption, but you're proud to say you got to your feet with little to no issue - except the ache in your joints and migraine sharpening in your temples and the shivers wracking your body. Then you attempt a step forward, and it feels like the grass and the clouds have suddenly switched places as you try not to collapse again.

"Tch, yeah thought so," Captain Levi grumbles behind you. You're about to apologize when his hands are abruptly turning you just so, arms winding around your shoulders and below your knees. He holds you close to his chest, quick steps heading towards the barracks, and all you can do is stare at the sharp curve of his jaw as a blush you want to blame on the fever rises to your cheeks. His silver eyes glance down at you and he scoffs. "You throw up on me and you'll have stable duty for the next two months."

You snap your gaping mouth shut, choosing not to question the bizarre situation you've found yourself in, and hope the way you relax into his arms isn't too obvious.

"Sorry Captain, for disrupting training," you mumble, daring to rest your head below his chin because your muscles are aching and your neck was struggling to hold you up.

He hums, the rumble of the sound vibrating against your arm. "Not your fault you're sick, brat. You tried to work through it, I get that," he sighs like he's as exhausted as you are. "Just, listen to your body next time. Go to the infirmary, ask for some rest. We take training seriously here, but not at the expense of your overall health and wellbeing. It would do more harm than good. Don't be an idiot."

That makes sense, and you probably would have done so if you weren't so caught up in the pressure associated with being in the Special Ops Squad. Only a few weeks into your new assignment at that. This feels like a major step back from your progress in the military, not to mention a hit to your pride.

But still, sloppy training at the risk of your health is dangerous. You should have known better.

"Apologies then sir, for not speaking up sooner."

"Stop with the apologies, I already said it's not your fault," he huffs, rolling his eyes as he steps into the cool corridor of the barracks. You've never been this close to him before; his eyelashes are beautifully long and his cheeks seem soft. "Besides, as your Captain, I should have noticed something was off."

You're quick to shake your head despite the way it makes your vision spin. "Captain no, I - "

"Shut up, we're not going to argue about this now. Or ever." But you want to argue because the decision you made to move forward with training despite not feeling well was hardly his fault. You bite your tongue, focusing instead on the startling fact that he's not leading you to the infirmary or your dormitory.

"Uh, sir?" You frown, slowly recognizing the bend of the hallway. "Are we...are we going to your office?"

"We are." He slightly adjusts his hold on you, a fresh wave of heat highlighting your cheekbones when you're reminded of your position. "That a problem?"

"No, no I just...don't understand. The, um, the infirmary - "

"Is crowded with disease and noise and not a suitable place for getting any real rest. And someone needs to keep an eye on you so you don't choke on your own vomit or something."

It suddenly hits you as he's deftly maneuvering his body to nudge the door to his office open, outside of orders and mission briefs, you've never heard him speak this much before. You chew on your cheek, fingers fiddling in your lap. He has a really nice voice.

You can't really imagine him bringing someone like Oluo, or any of the others, to his office like this - except maybe Petra, but they've always been especially cordial - and you feel overwhelmed by the whole situation.

The Captain's quick to leave you standing on your own, leaning against the edge of his desk for balance, while he disappears into his adjacent quarters. You're left stumped and still a little dizzy while you wait for him to come back. Idly, your fingers trace the dark wood of his desk, coming away clean of course, noticing the intricate alignment of every little knickknack and stack of paperwork on the surface. You end up having to grip the surface when you feel yourself start to tip over.

You blink, and Captain Levi is standing in front of you, brow furrowed as he steadies you with one hand, the other holding a pile of blurry fabric. Blurry? No, no wait, that's just you.

"Showering's out of the question until you can stand more than a few seconds without falling over," he mumbles - to himself, you think because he doesn't seem to wait for any kind of response from you. He pushes the fabric into your hands. "Change into these so you're at least in clean, comfortable clothes. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Where...?" But you don't finish, exhaustion suddenly pulling at the weight of your tongue.

"Some tea will help, and Hange has a store of medicine in their office. Get changed, sit on the couch, I'll be back soon." It's gruff and curt and the familiarity of the tone has you relaxing into the strange circumstances that have lead you to your Captain's office today.

He's out the door before you have a chance to nod that you understand, so you sigh and take a moment to just catch your breath.

That turns out to be a bad idea.

Your stomach churns, and you only have the warning of your throat constricting before you drop the clothes and scramble towards the bathroom you know is in the Captain's quarters with your palm holding your mouth shut. A few agonizing milliseconds later and you're heaving into the porcelain bowl of his toilet. You're so fucking grateful you made it to the bathroom, pretty sure that if you had thrown up all over your Captain's clean floors, not only would you be off his squad, but you'd probably also find yourself dishonorably discharged from the military entirely.

The way your stomach cramps brings tears to your eyes. You were right, the oatmeal looks about the same as it did going down. A mix of sweat, tears, and saliva drips off the point of your chin, and you can't think of a way to be more miserable.

You're not sure how long you sit there, fingers white-knuckled on the porcelain edge, throat gagging even when there's nothing left in your stomach.

"Shit," you hear, cold hands dragging across the clammy skin of your neck, tugging back your hair. The Captain's back, pulling your hair from the slick of your sick. Walls, you hope you don't look as pathetic as you feel. "Okay, okay just...let it out."

"Hu-hurts," you whimper, spitting into the toilet.

He shushes you, swiping what you think is a cold damp cloth across your sweaty forehead and spit sticky chin. It feels nice. "I know, I know. It'll pass, just let it out."

Minutes pass stuck in the miserable cycle until you finally feel steady enough to push away from the bowl, leaning back against the wall to take deep gulps of air. You flinch at the clear glass of water held to your lips, but manage a few stale sips without feeling the urge to cough it back up again.

Captain Levi runs the cool cleansing cloth along your skin, sharp silver eyes tracking all over your face so intently you find yourself swallowing for a different reason entirely. Eventually his gaze settles on your own, the concern softening the stoic glare you're so used to seeing, and you nearly want to cry again.

"Thank you, Captain," you manage between labored breaths, eyes half-lidded at the drop in your energy.

"Levi."

"Hmm?" Your brows furrow, head lolling back against the wall in your confusion.

"Just Levi is fine, we're not on duty right now."

You're not sure what to say, stalled by your tongue stuck in your throat. Actually saying his name like that, so familiarly...you don't think you can.

Levi.

Maybe you can just think it.

Instead of replying you just nod, sniffing a little as you flush the evidence of a disgusting half hour down the toilet. "Sorry about that."

"Couldn't be helped, don't worry about it," Levi - wow, that's strange - dismisses with a wave of his hand. "Thanks for sparing my floors."

A halfhearted and decidedly painful chuckle shakes your shoulders, though you're grateful for the levity. "Anytime, sir."

He scoffs at the honorific, but can he really expect you to drop decorum so easily? You hardly think so, though he's already treated you a fair bit better than some friends of yours in this situation, let alone a superior.

Levi tosses you the same clothes he'd picked out before, standing to his full height, seeming as imposing as ever from your spot on the tile. "Try to change, go slow if you feel dizzy. Drink the rest of that if you can," he points to the water glass on the vanity. "I'll be right outside in case you fall or something."

Changing clothes turns out to be less nausea inducing and far more exhausting than you expected. You fold your uniform as neatly as possible, stacking the clothes on your discarded boots in the corner of the bathroom. The pants Levi gave you fit well enough, a little short on the ankles and tight at the hips - not surprising given his slimmer waist. The socks are warm and thick, almost cozy. He gave you a larger t-shirt that you almost wonder if it even belongs to him, the shoulders of it broad and length extra baggy, but you've been known to buy oversized sleep clothes for the swaddled comfort, so you don't think on it too much. The fabrics are soft and smell like fresh linen, clean and slightly lemony.

You pull back your hair to quickly rinse your face and gurgle some water to get the acidic taste of bile off your tongue. Without a toothbrush, you try to scrub at your teeth with your finger to clean out as much as you can. Dutifully, you tackle the task of drinking the water cup, both parched and fearfully nauseous at doing so.

It goes down relatively smoothly, which allows at least some of your lost pride to trickle back in.

You clumsily stumble from the bathroom, surprised at how quickly Levi's arms find their way around your waist to steady you. He keeps one hand high on your hip, the other gripping your elbow, as he leads you back into his office to sit on the couch. He sits on the table next to the tray of tea he'd promised and a bottle you know is some tasteless medicine you'll have to choke down.

"Better?"

"Much." You lick your lips, looking from your Captain to the tray of tea. "I have to drink that now, don't I?"

A dry smirk pulls at his cheek as he goes about pouring you a cup with a small drizzle of honey. "If you want any chance at feeling better, yes. The tea will settle your stomach, the medicine is for the rest." He takes what looks like a comically large table spoon in your hazy eyes and fills the curve of it with the amber colored medicine. Your nose scrunches, lips drawing into a thin closed line. "Don't be a baby, just take the damn medicine."

"Gross."

"You fight titans for a living."

"They're gross too, what's your point?"

"My point is, a talented soldier like you shouldn't be afraid of a little medicine."

Your chest puffs up, a weirdly teasing smile drawing across your face. Everything about this has been strange and otherworldly as Levi actually cares for you on your sickbed - er, couch. "Talented, huh?"

"Shut up and take the shitty medicine before I force it down your throat," he grumbles, and you have to blink away the illusion of a dusty pink warming his ears. You lean forward to accept the spoon, fully aware of the reality of his threats. Like the water, it goes down smoothly if a little bit thick, and tastes of the herbs you remember from childhood under the care of your mother's kindness when illness struck. Once Levi proves you've swallowed it with a hilariously thorough scan of your open mouth, he brings the warm cup of tea to your lips and encourages you to drink the whole thing in a string of gentle sips. The warmth of it spreads through your body, soothing the ache in your throat and relaxing your muscles, helping you sink further into the cushions of the couch.

He's wonderfully patient with you, and you're not really sure how to feel about it besides grateful and maybe a bit embarrassed.

You blink slowly, lids drooping and chin dipping towards your collar when staying upright proves to be a challenge.

Strong hands you trust with your life guide your head down onto a pillow, lifting your feet from the wood flooring so that you're lying across the length of the couch. A heavy quilt is draped over you, curbing the rising shakes you feel building up in your spine, and you can't help but snuggle into the plushness of it all.

"G'night, Levi," you mumble in the exhale of a yawn, eyes slipping shut with a gentle flutter.

"Get some rest." Your name rings from between his slips, quiet and fond and almost reverent if you were coherent enough to be aware of such things.

You fall asleep to the loving touch of something soft and rare and precious against your forehead.

#levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman #sick reader #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #attack on titan #fanfic

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teddy-yandere · 3 years ago

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So, I don't know if you wrote for this scenario already and if you did, sorry to bother you again. But how would yanderes Tanjiro, Kokushibou and Yoriichi react to the reader saying 'If you love me let me go'?

- Let Me Go -

⚠️WARNING⚠️ will contain dark themes

Characters = Tanjiro , Kokushibou , Yoriichi

A/N = Feel free to request any characters you want. I write for many different fandoms , all you have to do is scroll to the bottom of this post and pick what fandom and character you want me to write for and send me a request. My inbox is always open so feel free to chat with me!! <3

* .:｡✧*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. * * .:｡✧*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. * . *.:｡✧ *ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. *.

Tanjiro

• It had been a couple of weeks since Tanjiro took you from your life. His only explanation for it was that he loved you and wanted to protect you. He also mentioned how he wanted to start a family with you. Which discussed you. You blame yourself for being so weak . It was very easy for this Demon Slayer to if so you. He had been protecting you from a demon and you had gotten hurt. He offered to take you home and give you some food.

• When you refused he seemed to get very desperate. When you started to walk home after thanking him for his help , he lost it and knocked you out. Now here you are with a crazy lover and his demon sister . You found that it was very easy to get Tanjiro to talk about himself and his family. Poor guy actually bared his heart to you.

• On this day he seemed to come back from a particularly hard mission. The first thing that he wanted to do was cuddle you. When he came over he forced you into his lap and started to say how much he loved you. You felt so fed up with this so you blurted out “ If you loved me then you would let me go “.

• He froze for a moment trying to process the words that you had just said to him. “ But f-flower .. I love you and you belong with me “. He said in a shaky voice. All of a sudden tears started to flow down his cheeks and he squeezed you tighter. “ Tanjiro too are squeezing me to tightly”! You cried out. He let go before apologizing and saying “ I love you y/n , I will protect you forever “.

Kokushibou

• Sorry sweetie , but this man will not play these games with you. He might entertain you for a little bit by acting sad , and pretending to let you out the front door. But the second you start running he tackles you down to the ground and drags you back.

• One time when you were throwing one of your “ tantrums “ , you yelled out “ if you loved me than you would let me go “. He doesn’t now why but in that moment he froze for a moment. He then looked at in your eyes and do not like what he saw. In your eyes he could sense a sense of hatred that you had for him.

• Then he got mad

• He picked you up and took you to y’all’s room , before tying you up and leaning over you. He then whispered in the calmest way possible “ I love you daring , but you can never escape me. I will always find you buttercup “. You froze. He then left the room to go meditate.

• I feel like I have said this before but Kokushibou is a very honest person ( demon ). Ever time he tells you he loves you, he means it with all of his heart. You are truly the light of his life and he wants to protect you for all of eternity.

Yoriichi

• Yoriichi is a very caring Yandere to have. He absolutely adore you to death and will happily die for you. He loves you with all of his heart . Because he has lost so many people in his life , he is a very overprotective of you. If you really wanted to go out to the market he will let you , the only catch is that you can never let go of his hand.

• If you try to run away then that is the end of you privileges. Yoriichi kinda treats you like a child sometimes and you hate it. He will basically ground you from basic things such as cooking , and watering the plants. You have to earn back those privileges by behaving well and listing to him. You absolutely hate it. You were fed up with it.

• One time , Toriichi caught you trying to run away and he dragged you back while telling you how dangerous the outside world is , and how demons would love to eat you for a midnight snack. After he was done scolding you , you both stood there in silence before you said “ if you love me then you would let me go”.

• He froze for a moment. Then he looked at you before planting a gentle kiss on your head and saying “ Darling I think you are confused, I am only protecting you because I love you. You would die without me “.

• You we’re about to yell at him , when he told you that maybe you should go rest and he was going to make dinner. You did not have enough energy to tell him no.

* .:｡✧*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. * * .:｡✧*ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. * . *.:｡✧ *ﾟﾟ･ ✧.｡. *.

Thanks for reading Darling !! <3

Feel free to request any character you want. I write for all genders. If you don’t tell me what gender you want then I will just make it gender nuetural. I write for many different fandoms such as:

• Demon Slayer

• Haikyuu

• Attack on Titan

• My Hero Academia

• Death Note

Have a nice Day / Night ~

#yandere headcanons #yandere demon slayer #anime #yandere #yandere demon slayer headcanons #kny manga #yandere tanjiro #yandere tanjiro headcanons #yandere kokushibou #yandere kokushibou headcanons #yandere yoriichi #yandere yoriichi headcanons #yandere kny headcanons #yandere kny #yandere x reader

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archonoftears · 4 years ago

Text

info: modern au! reader receives a package that helps her tease her boyfriend while he’s at work.

warnings: 18+ smut, slight breeding kink (mentioned), lingerie, phone sex (kinda), pretty vanilla, no penetration, just description, a tiny bit of dom/sub (implied through dialogue)

word count: 1,626

authors note: umm head empty, thoughts only filled with laying in zhonglis bed and teasing him over the phone. i really can’t remove myself from modern au! with ceo daddy zhong. so here we are again. not gonna lie though, i found myself looking at dragon dildos yesterday and now i just wanna write dragon zhongli and sacrificial maiden. so maybe after i finish with the first chapter of my other fic i’ll get right on that.

ps no beta, i just kinda got this out and edited it once. so sorry if any mistakes or issues.

please thirst with me if you want to!!

Glancing around your dining room table you felt defeated by the amount of packages staring back at you. You were surprised by the latest delivery of clothing you had received for PR from a few high end designers. You knew you shouldn't have been shocked, dating a CEO of a multi million dollar cooperation came with many perks. Yet you never imagined anything like this. Knowing the mess would only stay on the table if you didn’t start tackling it. You began opening up a few packages, finding bags and shoes. Even the latest spring wear from the major brand ‘Liyue Qixing’ sat in a box for you. Before setting your eyes on a more intricate looking box. Opening it to discover some of the most beautiful lingerie you had seen in a long time. Looking at the brand name ‘Scent of Spring’. You didn’t recognize it, but you were quite enamored with the pieces inside.

Forgoing opening any more packages you quickly gathered the items in the box and wandered off to the bedroom you shared with your boyfriend. Selecting a ivory and gold silk longline balconette bra, with matching thong, and harness. The gold tulle flowers that patterned the silk and lace were soft and delicate under your fingers. You couldn’t go a second longer without wearing the beautiful set. Quickly stripping off the clothes you were wearing and slipping on the lingerie. Loving the feel of the soft lace and silk against your skin. Staring at yourself in the mirror.

‘This lingerie had to be designed by some deity who knew Zhongli’s taste.’ You thought to yourself as you admired the way the balconette bra exposed half of your breast and how the thong straps cut into the flesh of your hip in a sexy way, giving your body a more defined silhouette.

A light bulb went off in your head, walking over to grab your phone and opening the camera app, returning back to the mirror. Posing yourself quite provocative as you snapped several photos, dropping to your knees and taking a few more photos, before flipping through them. A coy smile playing on your lips as you went to call Zhongli.

Zhongli was startled by the sound of his phone ringing on his desk, glancing down to see your contact photo, a smile immediately forming on his face, he swiped to answer.

“Hello (name), is everything alright my dear?” Zhongli greeted as he turned from the documents in front of him and leaned back in his chair. You seldom ever called him when you knew he was going to be in the office all day, preferring to email him if you needed anything so he assumed this must have been important.

“Everything is fine, just calling to see what you were up to.” You greeted over the phone. Zhongli let out a small sigh, relieved that nothing was wrong.

“I’m just preparing for a meeting with Fatui Industries in a little bit.” Zhongli started, glancing at the clock to check the time. “What are you doing today my dear.” He asked, knowing you didn’t have much on your schedule today.

“Well I was going through some packages I received, you know the PR kind. It was mostly clothes from some nice designers.” You hummed, he could hear you twirling your hair in your fingers as you spoke.

“Oh really? Hopefully they sent things that are your style.”

“That’s why I was calling actually. There was this one package, the clothes are really nice. But I think they’re more to your taste, and I wanted to get your opinion on them.” You confessed.

“Of course, I can do that when I get home for you if you would like.” Zhongli replied, glancing at the clock noting that he had about 27 minutes until his meeting. “I should be done with work after I meet with Signora and Childe.”

“I’m actually sending you a couple photos right now, please check your email and tell me what you think.” He couldn’t put his finger on it, but you seemed awfully excited about all of this but he complied with your request.

“Of course, one moment.” Opening his email, quickly finding the one from you at the top and opening it, his eyes widening in realization as he enlarged one of several photos in the email. His voice catching in his throat as he examined it.

“Are the clothes to your liking, sir.” You cooed from the other end of the phone, knowing very well they were in fact to his liking.

“Ms. (Name)..” Zhongli growled quietly.

“Yes sir?” You asked innocently, Zhongli aware of the game you were playing, but nevertheless here he was clicking on the next photo, feeling his pants grow tighter as he continued to view the photos. The one of you on your knees sending more blood rushing to his already aching erection.

“Are you being a good girl right now?”

“I’m always a good girl Sir.”

“Are you? You don’t look to be acting like a good girl in these photos.”

“Then should I send you some more photos so you make sure I’m being good?” He could feel himself getting riled up just by the implications of what was being said.

“Well… I’ve already sent them so hopefully you don’t mind.”

Not needing to be told twice Zhongli refreshed his email inbox to find a new message. Opening it to discover new attachments. Slowly he clicked the first picture. Finding you not in front of the mirror in the bedroom anymore, but now on the black sateen sheets of the bed the two of you shared. Angling the camera in a way to show how you would look if he had you pinned down. You looked ravishing, from the way you let your cleavage spill out exposing your nipples, to the way you spread your legs.

The next photo your hand was on one of your breast cupping and pinching the nipple. The next photo was taken lower, your hand was now in your panties clearly teasing yourself. And the final attachment was a video, it was no more than 15 seconds, but in those 15 seconds you show yourself pumping your fingers in and out of your pussy, before dragging your fingers out of yourself and licking the wet slick off your digits. Zhongli was taking deep breaths as he watched. His eyes following your every movement.

“Sir…” You moaned, lust lacing every syllable. “Do you think I look like a good girl in those photos?”

Zhongli couldn’t say anything for a moment. Letting the video replay itself over and over, his eyes finding new things to focus on each time it replayed. From the way your plump lips wrapped around your fingers or the way you quivered when you plunged your two digits into yourself. He just wanted to see you do more.

“When did being a good girl equate to acting like quite the little slut? Surely I’ve taught you better than that.” Zhongli replied firmly, as he adjusted the way he was sitting to accommodate his throbbing cock.

“This is what you’ve taught me…” the breathiness of your voice letting him know you were in fact still touching yourself as you replied.

“I don’t recall teaching you to send provocative photos to me while I’m at work.” He glanced at the clock again, 16 minutes until the meeting. Fuck.

“Did they make you hard?” You asked suddenly.

He was not a liar, so he wouldn’t lie to you. “Yes they did…”

“Did they make you want to come home and stuff your big. thick. cock inside of me.” The punctionaction of your words were breaking him down.

“Yes they did…”

“Master are you going to come home so I can show you how much of a good girl I am, when I’m milking your cock.”

“My Lily… I-” Zhongli wasn’t used to you being this forward with him.

“I need you to come home and fuck me now. Because if you don’t pump me full of your cum I might go crazy.” You whined your voice working wonders on his resolve. “Please… Please come home and breed me sir.”

One final weak glance at his clock showed he had 9 minutes before they would arrive.

You moaned again calling his name out through the phone, the thread holding his composure together snapping.

“You’re not allowed to cum until I get home do you understand.” Zhongli growled into the phone, quickly on his feet, grabbing his bag and making his way to the door of his office. “Do you understand?”

“Yes sir..!” You exclaimed.

“I hope you understand you won’t be walking for the next few days my Little Lily.” He warned before leaving the safety of his private office.

“Yes yes! Hurry please.”

“I am.” Quickly saying goodbye and hanging the phone up with you, while walking towards two approaching figures.

“Mr. Zhongli goo-” Signora began, reaching her hand out to greet him, but he didn’t meet it.

“My apologies, there seems to be an emergency at home, can you meet with my assistant to reschedule.” Zhongli haphazardly explained. “Again my deepest apologies.” He finished, turning on his heel and b lining it to the exit. Letting the receptionist know that he was leaving and scrambling for the parking garage.

“What do you think his emergency was?” Signora stood bewildered where Zhongli had left her and Childe.

“Do you think everything is alright?

Childe seemed to be having the best laugh of his life as his colleague pondered the obvious.

“Trust me everything’s fine.” Childe said in between laughs. “We should probably reschedule for Monday, he’ll probably need the whole weekend off.”

“This is why I hate partnering with you, you’re too vague sometimes.”

#zhongli x reader #zhongli x fem!reader #zhongli x you #modern au! genshin impact #smut #imagine a big bed of black and gold sheets #a bed designed for a god #that's the bed i wanna be spread out on for zhongli #cakey cries #genshin impact x reader #rex lapis x reader #morax x reader #genshin x reader

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