#tacenda chapter twenty four

[ilguna]

Tacenda - Chapter Twenty Four (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 2.3k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

A series of knocks slowly pulls you out of unconsciousness. Since District Thirteen is made up of metal doors, the sound is almost unbearable to listen to. You’re lucky that the doors aren’t rusty, and they don’t squeak. It’s like listening to nails on a chalkboard, just thinking about it gives you chills.

The knocking gets considerably louder, and this is when you decide that there’s no point in ignoring it. You bring yourself up and onto your elbows. Finnick’s arm is draped over your waist, so you have to carefully move that off of you. After that, you scoot your way off the bed and throw the blankets back over Finnick.

You squint miserably, rubbing your face as you try to make yourself feel more awake. You have no clue what time it is right now, but you have a feeling that it’s really fucking early in the morning. Like sun-hasn’t-risen early. And you’re never up this early, so you feel like ass right now.

More knocks, and you shush the person, which makes them stop. You slide the door open, pulling the hair tie out of your hair so you can fix it. Haymitch stands in front of you with Plutarch and Coin.

“What’s going on?” you ask, trying to be quiet.

“Is Finnick awake?” Haymitch asks, not answering the question.

You look over to where Finnick is still laying on the bed, blanket over his shoulders with his back turned to you. He’s still asleep, and you turn back to Haymitch, shaking your head.

“Let me guess, I should wake him?”

Haymitch nods. 

“Give me a moment.” you close the door halfway, not wanting to shut it completely in order not to be rude.

You make your way back to Finnick, feeling a little bit more awake. When you get to him, you shake his shoulder a little bit, “Finn.”

“Hmm?” he hums, but doesn’t move.

“Haymitch, Coin and Plutarch are here.” you move the hair out of his face, “They want to speak to us.”

“Right now? What time is it?”

“No clue.” you tell him, “And yes, right now.”

He sighs, pulling the blanket off slowly. You don’t wait on him, going ahead and going back to the door. When you get there, you tell the trio that he’ll be there in a moment. Finnick skips pulling on a shirt or some pants and comes over in his boxers, clearly not caring.

Haymitch is amused almost immediately.

“I’m sorry about waking you two up at this time.” Coin sounds chipper, and like she’s been awake this whole time. You wonder if she sleeps, “But I have a question to ask.”

“Shoot.” Finnick tells her.

“Katniss took a plane early this morning to get to the front lines,” she looks over you two, and you know this part already, you remember the conversation between Johanna and Katniss, “She wants to fight, but I believe she needs a proper squad.”

You press your lips together briefly, “Like fight with her?”

“Yes. Would either of you be interested?”

This is such shit. Finnick is going to block you from saying yes.

“Beetee has prepared a trident, and (Y/n)’s knife is still in our facility.” Plutarch says.

Which is fantastic fucking news, because you absolutely love that knife, but they confiscated it the second you guys were brought in. It was a safety measure, and you’re not too mad about that. You were just worried that they had gotten rid of it for good, since it was something you’d gotten inside of the games. They must’ve realized that it was rare, and so very expensive. 

“Sure.” Finnick says, “I’ll go.”

You scowl a little bit, “We need a minute.”

Coin nods, “Haymitch and Plutarch will be waiting here for you. I have to go back to command. The plane is leaving soon, so I recommend you talk quickly.”

You smile a little bit, and then slide the door shut so you and Finnick can speak in private. The door is thin, so you and Finnick will have to keep your voices down.

Before Finnick can say anything, you make the jump, “If I can’t go, then you can’t go either.”

Finnick gives you a deadpan ‘really’ face, “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“It’s the front lines, Finnick!” you hiss, “This is the Quarter Quell over again, except your chances of dying are even greater.”

“They probably won’t actually have us up front, we’ll likely be trailing behind.”

You raise your eyebrows, tilting your head, “Oh, so it’s safe then. Which means, that I should be able to go.”

“No chance, (Y/n).” he tells you, heading to the bedroom.

You trail ever so slightly, “Finnick, they can have other people go for you. You don’t have to--”

“What side are you arguing?” Finnick is pulling on his jumpsuit, “Do you want to go with, or do you want me to stay?”

“Whichever one keeps us together.” you tell him, “What if you do die out there? I’m supposed to raise a baby by myself?”

“It won’t be by yourself, you have your siblings. Which--by the way--you should be staying here for them, anyway. You just got them back, you shouldn’t be trying to get out of here as fast as possible.”

“So just because my family is here to take care of me, it’s okay for you to leave?” you ask, and then add, “Again?”

Finnick freezes on one of the buttons on the jumpsuit. Then, he ever so slowly gets back to it, “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” you ask, “I don’t want to be left here!”

Finnick comes over, cupping your face and kissing you briefly, “Honey, I’ll try to call. I’ll be safe, I promise. But I’ve got to go.”

“This is so incredibly unfair, Finnick.” you tell him, but he’s leaving the room already.

He opens the door, revealing Haymitch and Plutarch, who are staring at the both of you like they heard the entire conversation. You don’t care, you cross your arms and hold back the urge to tap your foot like an impatient mother.

“It’s just me.” Finnick tells them, “Let’s go.”

They don’t spare a single glance your way, they just head out. You shut the door behind them, taking in a deep breath as you pace the living room for a moment. You have to think.

You don’t want to be kept here, not with the knowledge of what’s going on. If Finnick is going to be out there, putting himself in danger, it’s literally going to make you sick to your stomach. The idea that he could be weaving himself in and out of danger while you’re stuck in here…

It’s the same idea of Finnick going into the games, and you sitting inside of the house, not knowing what he’s going through. And it’s even worse this time, because there’s no option of watching him through a tv screen, not like you would want to anyway. But there’s no way to check up on him. You’ll have to wait for his phone call, and even then you’d have to sit in command to get it.

You stop pacing, giving yourself a moment to take in your surroundings.

You have to get on that hovercraft, or find a way to get on one that follows it. The first one seems a little impossible, because Finnick will no doubt, be able to figure out it’s you. Even if you were to cut your hair and find some form of makeup to make you look more masculine.

So that leaves the second one, and since you have no idea when the planes leave, you need to find someone that does. Someone that won’t go and snitch, straight to Finnick. Which automatically takes your family, Plutarch, Coin and Haymitch out of the equation, right? They’ll probably phone Finnick.

Which really leaves one person, Johanna.

You nod a little bit, heading to the bedroom to grab yourself some fresh clothes. You go ahead and take a shower, and make yourself look like you normally would. As if you’re planning on staying here, and not making a complete mess out of everything like you normally do. No chaos.

You hardly get ten steps out of the dorm, when Haymitch is suddenly coming your way, Beetee following behind him in his wheelchair. Unfortunately Beetee was paralyzed after his encounter with the forcefield. He’s lucky that it hadn’t killed him, like Peeta and Blight. 

Then again, Beetee didn’t necessarily run headfirst into it, you don’t think. He had that spear, you remember seeing it the night the arena fell apart. You just weren’t there to actively see Beetee try to nonchalantly kill himself, giving Katniss a hint.

“What’s up?” you ask.

It’s further into the day now. It has to be hitting the regular time when you get up to do things. That shower had really knocked out the time, and that was your intention. Put distance between you and Finnick to make him think that you wouldn’t be up to anything.

“Plutarch proposed that Coin sends Peeta to the front, too.” Beetee answers for Haymitch, “Which gives you a chance to go.”

Your mouth falls open a little, “So, you’re telling me that I don’t have to sneak on?”

Haymitch cracks a smile, “You won’t. We just need you to talk to Peeta, convince him some more. We’ve been working with him this entire time, and it’s loosened him up. That doesn’t mean he’s entirely…”

“Deal.” you say.

On the way, Beetee explains the plan. You guys will take a separate plane there, on the plane you’ll eat your lunch, get in a car when you land, and be driven all the way to where the squad is now. Beetee says that Finnick hasn’t landed just yet, but he will be very soon. You’ll be arriving a couple hours after them. 

When Haymitch starts talking, he advises you to keep off the topic of the games, and Katniss and all of that. He knows that it might be a little impossible to skip over if Peeta brings it up himself, so he just tells you to be careful instead. Don’t lay it on him too thick, since he’s still recovering as always.

Johanna was supposed to be included in all of this, but it turns out that she’s not exactly prepared. Not only because of the morphling, and the fact that she’s not weaned off of it like they had thought she was. But also because she’s not stable for it. They did a series of tests on her, and she failed miserably at the water part of the test.

They had waterboarded her, made her fear the water. So if she were to get stuck in the water, she’d likely panic and be difficult when it came to saving her out of the water. You asked why you weren’t going to be put through all those tests, and Haymitch told you that you hadn’t suffered as much as they did. Somehow, Peeta ended up passing the tests.

Plutarch is already standing at the window when you guys make it there. You look through the one-way mirror to see that Peeta is sitting on the bed. He looks much healthier, you haven’t seen him since he got here, and he was passed out from getting hit over the head. Which was after he had tried to strangle Katniss to death. He’s regained his weight, but still not completely back to normal. There’s dark, purple circles under his eyes, and he wears a hospital gown.

“Just talk to him.” Plutarch tells you, “Tell him--”

“I’ve got this.” you wave them off, “This isn’t any different from when Annie had come home.”

You walk around to where the door is. They unlock it for you, and all you have to do is push it open. Peeta looks up to see who’s joined him, and you stop in the doorway, not going any further.

“Not going to come inside?” he asks.

“Don’t see the point.” you shrug, leaning against the doorway, “Cut the bullshit, tell me why you don’t want to go.”

He almost looks impressed, “Katniss.”

You can’t help but to snort a little bit, of course it is. And it’s the exact topic that they had wanted you to avoid.

“You’re going to let her dictate what you do?” you ask him, “After everything that you’ve been through, she’s still making your decisions.”

He glares at you, “She isn’t deciding this for me.”

“Seems like it.” you tell him, “Don’t you want revenge?”

Peeta’s face twists now, “Revenge?”

“You know what the mission is, right?” you ask, “We’re going to the president’s house, make him surrender. Might even get to beat him up a little bit. You’re telling me you don’t want to do any of that?”

“It’s not like anyone wants me to go.” he shakes his head, “They’re all going to try to kill me once I go off the rails.”

“We can’t kill you.” you laugh, “Wouldn’t be good publicity, let’s be honest.”

“You’re going?” he asks, “Is Finnick going?”

“He’s almost there already. I’m technically not allowed to go, but when has that stopped me?”

Peeta has a little smile on his face, “We’ll both be the odd man out.”

“Sure!” you smile back, “So, you’re coming?”

He nods a little bit, “I guess.”

“Cool, I’ll see you on the plane, then.”

You back out of the room, shutting the door. It locks behind you. As you practically skip over to Haymitch and Plutarch, you dust off your hands. 

“Thank you.” Plutarch says.

“Hey, a deal’s a deal.” you place your hands on your hips, “Let’s get this rolling.”

[ilguna]

Tacenda - Chapter Two (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 6k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

You join Finnick’s side, taking his hand in yours. The both of you are squeezing hard, not looking at each other, but straight ahead as Elysia wraps this up. You get a wave of deja vu when you look back at your family.

Reed is standing tall, staring right at you. There’s betrayal on his face, he didn’t know that this was a possibility. He knew that Annie was supposed to be volunteered over, but that’s about it. He didn’t realize that if Finnick were to go in, you would follow right behind him.

They all should have seen it coming the second that Elysia had started with the boys. It was a dead giveaway. In all her years of representing, it’s started with the girls, and you don’t break a pattern like that. Representatives are supposed to be consistent with things.

Elysia played it off well though, she had practiced it thoroughly. She didn’t skip a single beat and easily pulled out the boys name. She didn’t mess up and accidentally reach for the girls bowl.

Mox looks teary-eyed as usual. He might be all the way in the back, but you have come to know this look. He could be miles and miles away and you’d know instantly if he were on the verge of tears. Mox can’t handle things like this, one trauma after another, it ruins him.

As for Alyssum, she doesn’t know what to think. She’s standing there, confused as she occasionally looks to Reed for answers. She knows that you love Finnick dearly, and she knows that you would go to the ends of the earth for him. She just hasn’t put the pieces together yet. Wherever he goes, you go.

Annie has stopped crying, she’s silent. The other victors whisper back and forth, you can see them from the corners of your eyes. They’ll lean over and share certain looks. Even for them, this might be a shock.

No one with a sane mind would willingly volunteer to go into this arena. You won’t be competing with regular people, you’re competing with other victors. Twenty-two other victors who are just as deadly as you and Finnick. They won their games because they manipulated it to be theirs.

To volunteer is a death wish. And you just signed up for it.

Before you and Finnick are escorted off the stage, Finnick turns you to him, cupping your face softly. Then, he kisses you in front of everyone. You can hear the hearts of everyone in the Capitol breaking at once. Because this is what they’ll be sending in this year.

After that, the peacekeepers are tight behind you. Elysia leads the way mostly, and she begins to head off to the rooms where you guys go to say goodbye to your family, but a peacekeeper grabs her arm, redirecting her.

This is when you put your foot down, “You’re not getting me on that train if I don’t get to say goodbye.”

“New rules.”

“Fuck your rules!” you yell, planting your feet, “I get to say goodbye, everyone gets to say goodbye–”

“Not anymore.”

The peacekeeper goes to grab you, but Finnick steps in front, acting as a barrier between the two of you. Because of this, there’s two peacekeepers on him, grabbing his arms and dragging him towards the cars. He struggles, squirming in their grasp.

When the other two finally turn to you, and see that you still haven’t moved, they bring out their batons. If there’s one thing that you’ve learned after watching countless people get punished with it, you don’t want to be touched. You don’t want to be hit by them.

“Don’t touch her!” Finnick shouts.

The peacekeepers don’t swing at you, it must have been for intimidation to get you to cooperate easier. But the thing is, you’ve stared death straight in the face too many times. These peacekeepers are absolutely nothing to him. They don’t have the same feeling as he does.

They grab you roughly, Elysia tries to tell them to let you go, but they don’t listen. In no time, you’re letting your body get dragged, not participating in the walking part. The peacekeepers are growing frustrated by this, and they try to get you onto your feet over and over.

They can’t hurt you. They can’t lay a goddamn finger on you, because you need to go into that arena without a single injury to be recorded.

Mags is there at the car when you all show up. You watch as she swats away the peacekeepers when you’re close enough. Her face twists with anger, and she points at the men that were holding you.

Elysia slides in first, next is Mags. Finnicks helps you in, and then follows as soon as you’re comfortable. The door is forced shut, and they lock.

Mags doesn’t look happy in the slightest, but she should feel how you do. If she’s mad, then that means you’re on a whole new level of it.

None of you talk about what had just happened. The ride is quiet, and short. All of you are at the station before you know it. Finnick helps you out of the car, and then proceeds to do the same for Mags and Elysia.

You guys are brought up the staircase, and when you turn to look out at who’s saying goodbye, you’re surprised, to say the least.

The whole district looks like they’re here. Your family is up front, Alyssum is on Reed’s shoulders, and Mox holds her back to make sure that she doesn’t fall off backwards. Annie is holding onto Reed’s jacket sleeve, and she gives you a look full of pure gratitude.

Caspian’s family is waving. The parents of those kids that you had lost are waving. The people that allowed you to train for the past few months, are waving. Your mother’s friends, your father’s friends. The kids that had gone to school with you and Finnick.

Everyone is here for a final goodbye.

You and Finnick are definitely on camera again. You wonder if they also have microphones, or if it’s going to be completely silent.

You raise your hand like you did ten years ago, beginning to wave slightly, “Thank you, District Four. For being my home.”

Finnick does the same, “Don’t forget about us.”

Of course, they want to get you onto the train quickly after that, and so you turn to your family, blowing them a kiss instead. Alyssum’s eyes fill with tears, Mox has to bite down onto his lip to keep from crying. And Reed nods at you.

You and Finnick head into the train with Mags. Elysia follows a second later. The doors slide shut, and it’s a moment of stillness. Complete silence, and then the train starts moving.

Suddenly, all eyes are on you.

“What happened to Mags volunteering?” Finnick asks, “Wasn’t that the plan?”

“It was one of the plans.” you tell him, and the look of confusion only lasts for a moment.

“There was more than one?”

You shrug slightly, “It depended on the circumstances. If you got called, then I would go too. If someone else got called, then I would have let Mags volunteer.”

Suddenly, Finnick isn’t very happy, “You were planning to come with me all along.”

“You would have done the same, Finnick.” You snap slightly, “Had the girls gone first, and I volunteered, wouldn’t you have followed?”

“There’s a difference there.” he tells you, “You wouldn’t have willingly volunteered unless…” he’s putting the pieces together now, “Unless you knew.”

You nod, “That’s why Elysia called boys first.”

Elysia raises her hands as if she’s surrendering, “Leave me out of this.”

There’s a calm moment, where you’re all just staring at each other, not knowing what to say about the situation next. Because it’s been done, Mags can’t volunteer over you, that’s not how it works. And she can’t replace you, because that’s not how it works. You’re going into the games with Finnick.

“That wasn’t very smart of you.” Finnick says quietly.

“I wouldn’t let you go in without me.” you tell him, “We both know how it is inside of there. You have me to look out for you now.”

This is when he turns to you, grabbing your shoulders, “(Y/n), don’t you get it? If we both make it to the end of those games, then only one of us makes it home. You’ve screwed us.”

“Who says we can’t make it home together?” you ask, “Who says we have to?”

“That’s not possible—“

“The rules have been bent once.” You remind him, “Did you forget what happened last year?”

“Did you forget the repercussions for it?” He counters, “The districts are rioting. There’s stricter rules. Imagine what would happen if we tried to do the same.”

“He’s right.” Mags says quietly.

“I know he is.” you tell Mags, “Finnick and I need to speak privately for a while.”

Finnick’s face twists now, because everything that happens between you two, is in front of everyone else to see. There are no secrets in a tight-knit community like yours. Your family, Mags, Annie and even Caspian’s family are let in on everything. There’s normally no reason to keep things from each other.

However, this time it’s different. This is a Finnick and you moment.

The rules have changed this year. There are new ones, and there are changed ones. For all you know, there could be a hundred different cameras placed on every possible surface inside of every single thing they could fit them into. Just like the hunger games, you move, and they know it. They know your location at all times.

This hasn’t bothered you before. You knew that the peacekeepers would probably listen in on conversations and report the serious ones to people higher up. But you were always so careful with words. Back then, it could be your word against the peacekeeper. If they have cameras now, though, video footage.

You look to Elysia and Mags, “We’ll be back by supper. Leave us be, please.”

Finnick takes your hand before you reach over. He lets you pull him from one car to another. When you finally get to the one that holds both yours and Finnick’s rooms–two rooms are required to be provided no matter what, no one would be bothered if you and Finnick were to stay in the same room, though–Finnick tries to go to your room.

You stop him silently, shaking your head and pulling him to his own room. Then, you’re sure to poke a button near the door that locks the door in place. It can be overridden, but only by the peacekeepers. They typically do this if they’re suspicious that the tributes are harming themselves. It’s happened once before, they’re always wary that it’ll happen again.

You don’t stop in the bedroom area though, you continue along to the bathroom. Pulling him inside, locking the door a second time, and then you turn on the shower and place it to the loudest settings. Finnick winces at the noise, but the both of you hang around for a moment while you get adjusted.

Of course, there could always be cameras inside of the bathroom, and likely microphones that can pick up everything, but it’s the inconvenience of it that matters. If they have to put in too much effort, they’re not going to want to. They have better things to be wasting their resources on.

“You wouldn’t be so stupid to think that I wouldn’t come here, right?” you ask him, sitting on the counter.

Finnick sighs, “I thought the plan would be for you to stay in the district. Safe at home.”

“I would have come with you to the Capitol, still.” you shake your head, “As a mentor.”

“It was a safer option.”

You laugh bitterly, “Finnick, would you have let me go into that arena without you if the roles were reversed?”

“To ease your mind, yes.” Finnick looks confident in his answer.

You can’t help but to call his bullshit, “You would rather watch me die over a flat-screen tv than in person? You’d rather watch some random ass tribute give me a final goodbye, than you?” you lean in now, “You wouldn’t like to hold me in your arms one last time?”

Finnick clearly sees the difference now.

“I’m going in with you, because I want to be with you.” you tell him, “I’m doing this because I’m selfish, and I love you. And I want to spend every waking moment with you.

“I knew that if you were to go into the games alone, you might not come out the same person as you are now. I would rather take all the chances than none at all.”

Finnick nods slowly, going over to you with his arms outstretched. You pull him into your body tightly, feeling him squeeze. The both of you welcome the silence now.

“Finnick, we need to consider the possibilities of a rebellion.” You whisper to him very, very quietly.

Finnick gets down a little lower so it’s easier to hear and be even quieter, “The games had to have been a punishment.”

That is obvious. Everything is set up so perfectly. The Quarter Quell was a slap to the face to all districts and victors. It’s because this is the way that the Capitol will fight back. The districts are never in control, the Capitol will keep things running.

Snow will never stop flexing the power that he holds. If there’s a chance of a rebellion, he’s going to do anything he can to end the possibility of it. Which is why there’s stricter rules, the whole curfew, peacekeepers getting in your business, and all of that. You know for a fact that it wasn’t just four, you were getting phone calls from other districts–and you were talking to the governor–asking and telling you how things have changed.

Districts like eleven are already pretty strict. They stick to the rules as tightly as possible, so you can only imagine what had happened. Worse punishments, more rules. It gives no stretching room, and it aggravates the districts even more because they can’t do what they want.

In your opinion, Snow is going about this all wrong. He can kill the people in the districts, and he can shove things down your throats, but the reality of the situation is, is that’s just going to spark even more resistance. You guys are going to want to get free to get away from this.

“Yes,” you tell Finnick, moving some of his hair, “It was.”

A few hours later, after you and Finnick have turned off the shower, you just sit in his room for a little while. You figured that if the Capitol were going to bug rooms, it would be yours. It didn’t stop you from going into yours briefly to grab a hold of the box of training stuff.

Finnick sat in the hammock, playing around with knives while you messed around with knots and fires. More practice to keep it fresh in your mind. Eventually Finnick got bored and joined you on the floor. Over the years he’s learned a few of the knots that you were teaching the tributes, but never go all of them down.

The thing is, is that they’re all practically useless. Most of them hold the same use. Tie things together, or keep things in the knot. This is why you only teach a couple to the kids. Most they already know for fishing lines anyway, it’s the rope ones that are different. Of course, the chances of coming across something that resembles a rope is one in a hundred.

The vines in your games were perfect for tying. With the little spikes in them, it could do damage to a tribute without them knowing. You only figured it out that the vines had thorns because you dipped your hands in the salt water. Had that not happened, you would have been absolutely clueless.

Imagine how raw your hands could have been. Climbing things would have been impossible to do without the palms of your hands hurting. On top of that, imagine getting the vines tied around you, and it moving that way. Suddenly the little cuts are all over your body, and there’s not really anything you can do.

Ask the sponsors for some healing cream, you suppose. But it would have been weird to gift that to a tribute, especially when on the surface, they have nothing wrong with them. From far away, they look normal. You remember seeing this during the recap of the games.

The Capitol had no clue–beside the gamemakers–that they had thorns on them. When you had revealed it, only then did the Capitol know. Caesar had even popped up on screen long enough to explain what was going on. Unfortunately, the vines weren’t poisonous, which would have been absolutely genius.

Slowly dying to something that you have no idea about. You can’t see that there’s cuts on your hands, or that there’s thorns on the vines. The tribute would be slowly deteriorating, maybe some terrible blood poisoning or organ failure or something. The gamemakers would be able to engineer poison like that.

You’re just glad that the Capitol isn’t necessarily that smart. Sure, they were sadistic enough to come up with the hunger games, but you doubt that they use most of their brain power.

After all, with a whole idea of a rebellion, if all the people stop working, they get nothing in the Capitol. No food, no clothes, no electronics or electricity, no lumber, they get absolutely nothing. Because you guys are the ones that are providing the supplies.

It’s funny how they rely on a bunch of people to make their things for them. There is so much more people in the districts than there is in the Capitol. But the only thing that has stopped your ancestors the first time, and will probably hinder you this time are two things. The first, and very important one, is that the Capitol is very ahead when it comes to technology.

They have the most electricity, it’s constantly fueled there. Unlike here in the districts, where it’s every couple of hours, except for during the games. Only then, is power most consistent. In the poorer districts, they get an hour or two at most of electricity. Of course, that’s not the only thing that the Capitol has.

More weapons, they have peacekeepers, they have food, they have technology. They have the gamemakers and hundreds of different models for mutations that they haven’t gotten to test out yet, but you bet that they’re dying to try. They’ve got hovercrafts, and nuclear technology.

When it comes to a rebellion, all of you guys would be absolutely fucked because you aren’t on the same playing field. And you haven’t even mentioned the second part that would make it difficult for you guys to fight the Capitol. Which is, they’re surrounded by mountains. To get to them, would be so extremely hard.

They would see you guys from every position. The only real way to even get to the Capitol would be through the same way that the train runs. And holy shit would that be fucking obvious.

Finnick passes some rolls to you. You take one, knawing on it mindlessly as you stare out the window that’s above Elysia’s head. It’s long since turned dark, there isn’t really anything to see but the stars and the moon. However, there is no moon, and from all the pollution of the old world, the stars are a rare sight to see.

By tomorrow morning, you guys should be inside of the Capitol. A short ride, as it is every year. It just so happens to be that District Four is fairly close to the place. You guys are always one of the first people to arrive to the Capitol. You’re not exactly sure who follows soon after, probably the careers. But districts like twelve and eleven are pretty damn far away.

“Have you guys seen the tributes for this year?” Elysia asks politely.

Finnick knows that your mind is elsewhere, “Not yet.”

Elysia nods slightly, and then, “Would you like to watch it after?”

“Sure,” your voice is soft, as you then look down to your empty hands. Then, back up again at one of the avoxes, “Can I please get another bowl of stew?”

“Here we go with the stuffing.” Finnick jokes.

“And water.” you add, smiling, “Thank you.”

“Same here, if you don’t mind.” Finnick holds up his bowl for them to fill.

You’re lucky that you and Finnick hadn’t gotten stuck with some rude representative that treats the avoxes like traitors as they supposedly are. Elysia still uses her manners very strictly, and she thanks them every single time. At any point, they could turn on you guys, but there must be something in your eyes that stops them from doing it.

Of course, they’re spread across practically everywhere. Household maids practically, standing at bedside waiting for orders. Normally, you’re supposed to order them around and not ask them questions. Don’t treat them as humans, rather like artificial intelligence that can’t feel.

But they are humans, and they do think, and feel and have beliefs just the same as you guys. They have hopes and dreams, and just because of one simple mistake they had made, they ended up here. You know why they’re made, that’s no secret. There’s a variety of reasons, but the main one is the most dangerous one.

Running away from the district. In order to do this, you have to be smart about all the moves you make. You have to be agile, and smart in survival skills. You have to be prepared, and it’s best to be forgotten about in the district. The only time they’ll really know that your missing is when the reaping comes around.

Hopefully, people are smart enough to run away, and run far, months before the reaping comes around. If they know that you’re missing on reaping day, they’ll check houses first, but they’ll be quick to come to the conclusion that you ran into the woods. If you went months beforehand, then there’s no way that they’ll be able to catch you. They won’t be able to pinpoint when you had ran, if you’re invisible in the district, and they might even overlook you for that exact reason.

Running isn’t smart though. It’s only for the people that understand every single thing that’s out in the woods and desert. The bears, wolves, coyotes, snakes, and more that hide out there. The worst time would be to go during the fall and winter, and yet that’s the only option. The games come to the end of spring and the beginning of summer, almost.

Anyway, the point is, is that when people treat the avoxes as slaves rather than people, it pisses you off. It makes you sick to your stomach, because they’re forced to work all hours of the day for people who don’t realize how privileged they are. The poor avoxes are made from district people. They get to watch as the Capitol people waste the food that’s given to them.

The pills they take to make themselves throw up so they can keep eating… you haven’t ever used one yourself, and you hope that day will never come. Because some people in the districts aren’t eating at all. And to take advantage…

You and Finnick finish eating pretty quickly. Soon, you’re full. Finnick had filled up faster than you had, which isn’t very surprising, you did that the first time around too. Finnick had watched you fill up on at least six bowls before you felt like you were going to throw up. And that’s six bowls of stew, five rolls, and so many glasses of water.

Mags joins you, Finnick and Elysia at the train car with the tv and couch. Off to the side is a bar with freshments too. You take this time to grab more water, and Finnick follows your lead. Finnick throws his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his body as the both of you start the program.

District One’s stage is almost completely covered with tributes. From young to old, there is more than twenty-five people standing on that stage, and you think to yourself that it’s an actual mystery on who will be called for them. It’s a mystery to most districts, of course.

But for them, they can’t calculate the one-in-four chance like you can. They won’t be able to get it down to the nitty gritty the same way you can. A total of seven victors in your district is different from a district with over fifteen. You don’t know how to explain it exactly, but it’s just how it goes.

They go with girls first, the male representative dips his hand into the bowl and pulls out a single paper, as usual. He opens the slip of paper easily, and much to your surprise, and quite frankly your horror, you’re forced to listen to Cashmere’s name get pulled out of the bowl.

“Oh fuck.” the words slip out of your mouth before you can think about it.

And much, much to your dismay, you watch as Gloss gets pulled right after her. No one volunteers over them. They hold hands, they smile proudly. And funnily enough, they look like opposites. With Cashmere wearing all black and Gloss wearing beige. Fashionable clothes though, you wouldn’t expect anything less from the district one tributes.

Next is the second district, obviously. For a moment, you think it can’t get any worse, asking yourself ‘what are the odds?’. Slim, because there’s more than fifteen tributes on both girls and boys sides. There’s absolutely no one.

Enobaria’s name is called, and you can hear your ears turn to ringing. Watching blankly as she grins her pointed tooth grin. She looks proud when she takes her spot. Right after girls, are boys.

“Fuck!” Finnick shouts.

Brutus.

He volunteered over who was pulled. If he hadn’t volunteered, then you guys would be in the clear. If there’s anyone you wouldn’t ever want to come across in an arena, it’s Brutus. He’s big in the beefy way. He’s violent, not just because of how he looks, but because of how he won his games. Him and Enobaria fit the same bill, completely psychotic and an actual threat. He will arguably be the worst to come across in there.

“We’d have to kill him first.” you whisper, “We can’t let him live past the first day. He’d have to die in the bloodbath.”

Elysia glances at you nervously, seeing how much confidence you’re lacking, “He’s that bad?”

“He’s giant, Elysia.” Finnick tells her, shaking his head, “Strong. He would be able to strangle anyone to death in that arena. He gets his hands on someone, they’re as good as dead. Combat-wise, we stand no chance.”

District Three’s tributes are Wirress and Beetee. You’ve met both of them before, they’re very smart and kind. They won their games in unique ways, as most of you have. But it’s not everyday that you’re able to shock a couple of tributes at once and kill them that way.

If it came down to killing them, easy targets. Not much for combat. Would be able to survive longer than you guys though, by running, hunting and starting fires. Their district limits what they’re able to learn outside their jobs, so it puts them at an immediate disadvantage.

Not to mention, Wirress had gone a little crazy from her games too. She’s not all there completely, so you’re not sure how that will be able to hinder her abilities. You can imagine she’s not as bad as Annie, but there’s something similar to it. Maybe she can’t think straight, or she’s paranoid beyond belief.

After District Three, comes four. Here, you guys break the ladies-first streak, but Elysia makes it seem natural with how she goes about it. Here, you’re able to see Finnick’s face when he gets picked. He smiles brightly, waves a little bit. He plays it off smoothly, like it’s no shock.

There’s a puff to his chest, and he acts confident when he stands. He doesn’t look to where you are, it’s more that he watches Elysia closer when she picks the name out of the bowl. Here, you’re able to watch what it looks like from an outsiders perspective. This is what everyone had seen when the girls were pulled. The Capitol, the districts, the people of four.

First, Annie’s name is pulled and then called. You can see how Annie bursts into tears immediately, watch as Finnick relaxes slightly, and how your eyes dart to the nearest camera. Finnick is basically cut off on the side, but you’re able to see him clearly enough to watch his posture.

Mags goes to comfort Annie, and then there’s a change in your face. This is the moment when you decide that it’s time for you to volunteer. There’s a little smirk that comes across the corners of your lips, which gives away your whole idea. And then, when Mags twitches, you step forward with your hand held, and head ducked slightly.

With that posture, anyone would think that the words would come out of your mouth quietly. But it’s loud, your voice is loud and clear. You’re getting the message across, that you’re going back inside of the games. Finnick deflates for half a moment, but as soon as you join him, you’re holding hands and standing tall.

A united front. Together or not at all.

Next, District Five and Six aren’t as important. The only problem you have with six, is that they’re made up of morphlings. It’s not that they did turn to drugs to cope with the trauma after the games. It’s that they’re going to be difficult to find inside of the arena. They’re going to hide, and they’re going to do it well.

District Seven is up before you know it, which is when you’re sure people start to get interested again. Especially when Johanna is pulled from the bowl. You and Finnick don’t curse this one as much, even though it is going to be a pain in the ass. Johanna won her games a couple of years ago, played the damsel card well, and fooled everyone around her.

They let her be, which is what you’re going to want if you’re playing that card. It was when she got into the arena, where she completely surprised the people around her. Not to your surprise, but her weapon is an axe, respectively. She comes from district seven, it’s the lumber district, of course her choice is going to be an axe.

It’s a stereotype. The main career districts have their swords, district four has spears and tridents, seven has their axes, nine might be sythes because they’re a grain district. It’s the cliches that everyone expects. You’re sure there’s more.

After Johanna is Blight, you remember meeting him briefly. He’s nice, but never paid much attention to you. Same thing for Johanna, since she’s been mentoring for the past couple of years. She’ll say a brief ‘hello’ in passing, but doesn’t hold conversation well. She’s blunt, people see it as rude. She can’t help it, you imagine, she’s irritated as the rest of you.

District Eight follows, and you watch as Cecelia gets pulled.

“No.” you cover your mouth with your hands.

You know Cecelia well, she’s practically your best friend. She was at your wedding, with her husband and her kids. She’s married and has three kids now. On screen, you watch as they all clutch onto her tightly, some of them start crying.

Finnick squeezes your shoulder, “We can get her into our alliance.”

“We have to.” you tell him.

Next to be pulled is Woof, he’s older. He’s in his seventies and up. Mags recognizes him and shakes her head. He’s not going to survive in the games, he’s likely going to die on the first day for a variety of reasons. He won’t be able to run or defend himself as easily.

Nine and ten are also pretty irrelevant. You don’t know the names that are pulled, much less what their games were like. They’re older though, thirties and over, so you never stood a chance at knowing. They went in before you were even born.

For eleven, Seeder is pulled. She’s more of the prestigious type, very religious when it comes to things. She holds her head high, and you can respect that. But right after her, is Chaff. Who also had attended your wedding, an alcoholic right alongside Haymitch. You can only imagine what’s going to happen to him inside of the arena. Because withdrawal is a hell of a thing to experience.

Same goes for the morphlings. You wonder if they’ll be able to stand being sober for more than a couple of days. Of course, they can get drunk and high in the apartments all they want, but that’ll just screw their chances. You hope that all of them are easing themselves off of the drugs, otherwise they won’t last past the first couple of days either.

And finally, comes District Twelve. Three victors. No matter what happens, Katniss is going in. You watch as her name is pulled, and she stands where she needs to be, easily. Although, it looks like something else is going on, because she’s not as confident as you’d expect her to be.

She’s entering shark-infested waters. You’re going to want to keep your head up, even if that’s not how you’re feeling.

Their district representative pulls boys. Haymitch’s name has only been lingering in the air for half a second, and then Peeta is volunteering over him immediately. This is what she was afraid of, she doesn’t want Peeta to go back inside. You watch as they stand together, and then it cuts to Caesar.

“So?” Elysia asks, she probably doesn’t like how you two all of this in. You weren’t picking people out like you normally do.

Mags looks at you guys now.

Finnick sighs, “It’s a reaping full of victors, I don’t know what you want us to say.”

She’s quiet, and you get off of the couch, stretching slightly, “The thing is, is that they’re all amazingly skilled, and they all killed people, they all went through the same things that we did, and they all won.” you look to Elysia, “At one point, the Capitol had loved each and every one of them.”

Finnick nods, “They’re not going to know who to pick to favor. My advice is to talk us up and get as many people as you could possibly imagine to favor us again.”

You then start wandering off to the door that would lead you to your car, “I’m going to bed.”

Finnick is behind you, and the second that the door has shut behind you two, you’re rubbing your face, “What are you thinking?”

“They’re are so many people that they’re going to be torn between,” you say, “Gloss and Cashmere are siblings, won back to back games, they’re a favorite. Brutus is gigantic, anyone would be an idiot not to sponsor him. And coming across Enobaria would be like coming across a lion.”

“Well, Katniss and Peeta had just won their games. They’ve got a ton of people looking at them right now.”

He doesn’t even have to say it, and you’re already understanding. You and Finnick stop outside the rooms, and you look to him, “You’re a genius, Finnick.”

Finnick smiles, “I know.”

Katniss and Peeta have to be in the alliance.

[ilguna]

Tacenda - Chapter One (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 4.6k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

You had no idea what to do with yourself for a full week. All you could do was think.

You had so many questions that absolutely no one had the answers for. Not even you had the answers. It started to drive you a little nuts, until you sat down and wrote down all the questions to answer them one at a time.

The first one, ‘what are the chances I get picked for the quell?’. You wrote down every single name of the girls in the district. Mags, you, Annie, and another girl that had won before you but after Mags. She doesn’t speak much. That leaves four. There’s a one in four chance that your name will get pulled from the bowl.

There’s a bigger problem to that though. Your chances thinned when you and Mags had the discussion, not allowing Annie to be on it, since it was upsetting her that the games would be happening in general. She knew of her chances already, and she tried to think about it as little as possible. Allowing her to sit in on a conversation like that would have been torturous.

You and Mags had come to the agreement, that in no way, Annie would be allowed to go back inside of that Arena. If that meant volunteering over her, then that meant volunteering over her. You would be more than happy to keep a tribute that you had mentored, alive and well inside of the district.

Mags had the same idea though, but for you. She told you that you have so much to live for. You and Finnick are married, the both of you are still young. You have a nice house, a fantastic family that’s still growing up, and a husband. As far as she was concerned, you wouldn’t be allowed to do anything.

As for the other woman in the district, she didn’t really matter. If she got picked, then she got picked. You weren’t too happy on the idea that Mags would be going back inside of the games. She knows this still, because you believe that you’ll be a better candidate. You won against all odds the first time around, who says you can’t do it a second time?

So, your odds slipped from a one in four, to a one in three. You, Mags, and the other woman would be the only three candidates for the third Quarter Quell. Annie doesn’t know of this arrangement, and as far as you’re concerned, she doesn’t need to know about it either.

She’ll feel guilty. Because she knows that Mags deserves to live out the rest of her life in the district as much as you guys do. And she knows that you and Finnick are together happily, and there should no way be a chance of you going back inside.

The next question was, ‘what are the chances that Finnick gets picked to go back inside?’. This one was a little harder to swallow for a couple of reasons. This is your husband you’re thinking about. This is no longer you, this would not be you sacrificing yourself, it would be Finnick.

You were sure to get on the same page as him. Double-checked that he wouldn’t have the motivation to volunteer over someone. And he assured you, that if he doesn’t get picked, then he’s not going back inside of the games. However, if his name is pulled, there’s nothing you can do about it.

If the other two guys want to volunteer over him, then that’s their choice. You can’t force them to do it, because asking someone to do something like that is… Going back into that arena is a death sentence, no one in their right mind would ever volunteer. Unless you knew that you had extraordinary chances of coming out of there alive.

You wouldn’t be able to ask them to do that anyway. And it’s not because you don’t have the guts to do it, because if you were younger, you would. If you and Finnick were eighteen and nineteen instead of twenty-four and twenty-five, you would have asked them a long time ago. You would have marched up to their doors and begged them for hours on end to do it.

You can’t do it because you don’t know them enough. They were invited to the wedding, they attended and offered you guys good luck, but that was about it. You haven’t talked to them much since. Every year when you and Finnick go to the Capitol with the tributes, they give you the same look that the parents give you when their kids don’t come back.

It’s no secret that they think of you as scum. They think of you as murderers and underqualified. They think that it’s all your fault that they die inside of there, and it’s not anyone else’s. They don’t look to the Capitol for all that blame, they blame the people that would be in charge of it.

They still think its your guys’ faults that Annie isn’t completely sane. They think it was those pills that you had sent her inside of the arena. When they absolutely know that you spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to make sure that she wouldn’t feel like she’s losing her mind in there.

You used your own money, and not the sponsors. You cut ties with friends to put yourself ahead, and to keep your head in the game. You worked with Finnick at that time, even though you felt like he was the most useless being on earth because he didn’t understand how any of it worked.

You brought home a girl that had won despite not being all there. And they still figured out a reason to blame you for it. It’s so infuriating, and it’s hard to deal with, knowing that they haven’t brought anyone home themselves, because they haven’t even tried.

You took up the job, and you were fifteen years old. At fifteen years, you were coaching boys and girls how to survive in those circumstances. You were still having nightmares. You were waking up in the middle of the night, with a raw throat from how badly you would scream.

And none of them had thought to take up the job from Mags or you.

Every single time you see them, you curse them. You damn them to hell, because victors are supposed to be family. But they are no family to you. They have not offered you comfort even once. They’re stone cold, and you can be like that back.

You won’t ever ask them for something. You won’t ask them to volunteer over you. You won’t ask them to volunteer over Finnick. You won’t even ask them to take care of your family if you do go back inside of those games.

Another question that you had asked was, ‘what can I do to prepare myself, in the case that I do get picked, or that I have to volunteer?’

Which was what kickstarted all the physical activity you had started to do after the questionnaire. You knocked off the simple ones. Annie promised to take care of your family fund-wise if you do die. Mags didn’t like the idea, but also promised. You looked to Caspian’s family to make sure that they would be there for support.

They even opened their home to Reed, Mox and Alyssum if you and Finnick both turn out to be dead. Which was what you needed, you needed confirmation that they would be okay no matter what. They would float, you’ve got money hidden in the old house you guys used to live in before you were given the victors.

If they wanted, they could buy a bigger and better house. They would be able to spoil Alyssum for years to come. They might even be able to bribe the peacekeepers to keep her name out of the bowl every year, that’s how much you’ve hidden in that small house.

Of course, you couldn’t just plan all of this without letting Reed and Mox know. You left them out on most of the plan. The part that includes volunteering and all of that. You told them that there’s a chance that Mags will volunteer over you, and that you talked to her about it.

You let them know that they will have to stay strong for Alyssum, no matter what it takes. If you go back inside of those games, every single reaction they have will reflect on Alyssum. She isn’t some toddler anymore, she can see their faces. She knows the difference.

You told them that they have to practice their poker face at all given times. If something shocking happens, or if it’s something bad, then Mox can’t resort to crying immediately. Reed can’t get mad. They have to stay straight-faced and let Alyssum know that it would happen to anyone.

They have to keep reminding her that it doesn’t stop you. It won’t stop your chances, it won’t decrease your odds. You’re smart, you’re quick, you’re handy. They have to keep her thinking that you’re good at this, but not raise her hopes to think that you’ll make it out alive.

She has to know the reality, but they can’t make her down immediately. Only when things continue to go downhill, only when there’s a bad fight, may they begin to be pessimistic.

They agreed to these terms. Reed and Mox are smart, and you’re sure that they could have figured out that they need to be different now. But sometimes they seem to forget that Alyssum is thirteen, she’s not small anymore. She’s beginning to be a big girl, and she needs to be treated like one.

After you had that talk with them, you had to talk to Alyssum too. You told her what you could without making her upset, and she seemed to understand everything for the most part. She told you that if you don’t have to volunteer, then don’t. It’s not like you needed to hear that, but you pretended like that impacted what you had to think.

No more deaths are needed in your family. Your mom and dad are gone, and the last thing that needs to happen, is another. But they’re strong, the Gallows family is strong. They’ll survive. Even if you do die in that arena, they’ll be able to get through it, because that’s what you do.

You take what’s given, and you put out better. You know that they’ll hold their heads high and act like it doesn’t phase them. They’ll accept the apologies and memories that people have to offer. They’ll host a funeral where everyone can attend, and they’ll accept it and move on.

You’ve done it twice together, and they’ll be able to handle a third if one does come around. They’ll probably react the same way for Finnick, because he’s your guys’ family, and he has been for a very, very long time now.

Anyway, answering that question of what you could do to prepare was too easy. You started to make a list for that too, before you knew it. You went around to the local shops and asked for the jobs that included hard labor. All of them accepted because you told them that it would be free. The last thing they would need, would be to pay the rich victor with more money than she knows what to do with.

Once you had all the jobs lined up, you told Finnick that he would be joining you. He didn’t know what to think of it at first. He might have thought that you were a little crazy, but when he saw the benefits of it. And that it was preparation, he decided that it didn’t hurt.

You’re glad that you didn’t have to force him, and he did it on his own. Because the both of you had become rusty. All that strength that you had so many years ago had drained from your body. The both of you were weaker than you thought.

It took a month or two before you guys could practically carry each other. Finnick could carry you easily, and when you tried hard enough and with Finnick’s cooperation, you could get him across your shoulders. You could walk, but not run, but it was good enough.

There’s always the adrenaline to factor. You guys will be stronger than you realize when the adrenaline is pumping through your body. Your body will be able to handle getting Finnick onto you, and running. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be Finnick that you’re carrying.

All that matters is that you’re able. You’re able to run for long periods of time, you’re able to carry things heavier than you are. You’re able to swim faster, and hold your breath longer. You’ve built up your tolerance for starvation again–that was starting to scare the people around you, but Finnick was doing to it too, so they dropped it after some time.

Then came in the trickier part of the skills. You and Finnick know how to light fires with the most scarce items, how to find water when it’s a dry land. You two figured out how to hunt with throwing knives, but found out quickly that it wasn’t as effective as it should have been.

But you were so worried about being under trained in something. Because the chances of it being needed to be used inside of the arena is so likely. The gamemakers throw curveballs on everything. You wouldn’t be able to get away with something like not knowing what poison ivy looks like, because there’s a chance that’s what covers most of the fucking arena.

The gamemakers are going to step it up this year. This year is important, especially to the people in the Capitol. Because these are the people that they sponsored for, and the chances of them going for who they had sponsored for beforehand, is a great chance.

The sun begins to peek into your eyes now, letting you know that time is up. You can’t lay in bed any longer. You have to start your day, and it has to start now to keep on schedule.

You won’t let today ruin you or what you have built with yourself.

You open your eyes one at a time, blinking to get used to the light. You would stretch, if it weren’t for Finnick holding you like it’ll be his last time you’ll ever be in his arms. You take a moment to appreciate this, because your one in three chances are beginning to dawn on you now.

“Good morning,” you whisper, patting Finnick’s hand slightly.

His arms tighten around you, “Please, just a little while longer.”

“We have to keep on time.” you tell him, and he sighs, knowing that you’re right.

He lets you free, but holds his arms open still. All you do is flip over and put yourself on his chest. He holds you there, looking over your face. It’s a memory tactic, he wants to remember you this way.

“I love you.” You tell him, and he nods.

“I love you too.”

You spare the moment a couple of seconds longer, but quickly get up to get today done with. You start the shower, and while the water is warming up, you throw out some simple clothes. A shirt, a pair of jeans, your favorite black boots. That’s it.

You won’t get dressed up, because you stopped doing that after your games. You don’t wear dresses to the reapings. You made your impression the first time around, you’re not going to do it again.

Hell, if you could, you would try to fit into the same dress you wore when you got the reaped. The only problem is, is that it’s far too small now, and you’d end up ripping it the second you slip into it.

Finnick joins you for the shower. You don’t end up washing your hair, since you did that the night before. The shower just holds the purpose of wetting your hair and cleaning your body so you feel better.

Everything fits onto your body simply. You place your wedding band onto your ring finger, just the same as Finnick. You can see the misery grow in his face when you start playing around with it. A nervous tic that you had under control for the longest time. Eventually, you stopped altogether because there wasn’t anything to be worried about.

You think he’s afraid of what will happen if you do get reaped and thrown back inside of the arena. What habits will you return to?

There’s already a few that are beginning to show again. You playing around with the rings, going days without eating because you keep thinking that you need to save the food. You’ve stayed up for countless nights, just because of the paranoia creeping on you. But the worst part of it all is the nightmares.

As far as you know, Finnick isn’t slipping back into anything. He’s Finnick.

Once the both of you are ready, you join your siblings down at the kitchen table. The breakfast is brief, because you and Finnick have to go get Mags and Annie, but you’re sure to hug them tightly. You give Reed and Mox a certain look, and they already know what’s going on. They have the straight-faced reaction on lock.

“What’s going on in your head?” Finnick finally asks once the front door is shut, “You’re quiet.”

“We have a one in three chance, Finn.” you remind him, “And I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“The odds will be in our favor.” he tells you, “Mags will volunteer over you and Annie, remember? You’re fine.”

You look to him, “And who volunteers for you?”

This is when he presses his lips together, reaching for your hand and squeezing tightly, “I can take care of myself.”

“I know that. There’s other factors that feed into it.”

The conversation is put on a hold as he goes to get Annie, and you go ahead and get Mags. She’s able to go down the stairs by herself, she’s been much stronger lately. She didn’t see the harm in training with you guys some days, so she started to take part of it too.

When the four of you are all together, you only glance to the other side of house, to see that the other three victors are with each other today. You don’t keep your attention on them.

“What other factors?” Finnick asks.

“I can’t tell you that.” you tell him.

Finnick doesn’t like this, reasonably. It means that you’ve made a condition with yourself, and if there’s one thing that Finnick doesn’t like, it’s conditions. It’s why the both of you haven’t talked about what would happen if one were to go in. You and him haven’t tried to convince each other to stay in the district.

A mistake, you think. And he might be thinking that now, too.

“(Y/n),” he warns.

You give him a simple look, “I know what I’m doing.”

“Then why can’t you tell me this too?”

He’s upset.

“Because nothing is set in stone.”

He doesn’t press any further, and you’re glad. In no time, all of you are at the stage. You’re able to get Mags and Annie up there, with the other victors trailing behind loosely. When you and Finnick go to talk to your siblings, the peacekeeper suddenly steps in front of you.

“No one leaves the stage.”

There is a very brief look that you and Finnick share together, mostly out of surprise. You two normally leave the stage before it starts to say your peace with your siblings. Normally it’s because you won’t be seeing them for a week due to mentoring, but today has a different meaning.

“We do this every year. We’ll be back in like ten minutes.” you tell him.

“New rules. No one leaves the stage.”

Your shoulders slump slightly, disappointed that this is happening. You’d like to argue back against it, and there is something inside of you that wants to. But you don’t. If you do end up going in, then they have to allow you to say goodbye to your family.

You’ll be able to see them for a last time, no matter what happens.

“Then can you let them know I won’t be going down there?” you ask, “They’ll be waiting for me and I don’t want that.”

He nods, and you and Finnick head back over to Annie and Mags. You calmly explain to them what happened and she frowns.

New rules had been instilled in the district. There’s a new head peacekeeper, and he’s a lot more strict when it comes to things. You’ve made friends with him slightly, he’s lenient with you on some things. There’s a curfew, and sometimes he’ll catch you making your way back from Caspian’s house with Finnick.

He overlooks it every time, and he probably tells the other peacekeepers to leave you alone as well. You don’t cause trouble, you do as much as everyone else does. Most of the time you’re inside of the house, except for the rare occasions you need to go see someone else.

The new rules are annoying, but they’re there because of the rebellious districts. You know that district one and two, and probably a few others don’t have these restrictions. It’s mostly just for the rowdier districts, like four. Four’s always been jumpy for as long as you can remember.

It wasn’t a surprise that everyone around you had gotten excited after Katniss and Peeta had directly defied the gamemakers. It’s moments like those, where you’re all still able to say ‘my game, my rules’. Sure, the gamemakers set it up, and they try to control as much as possible. But if someone, like the victor wants to kill themselves in front of everyone, what are the gamemakers supposed to do?

No one has done it before. Normally you fight to survive and come home. It would be a unique games, for something like that to happen. If everyone in the arena had worked together rather than just… fighting each other to the death. People will get picked off by the elements and what the gamemakers have in store, but eventually it’ll get down to the last few.

You look over in time to see Reed, Mox and Alyssum leaving the area where you guys meet up at. Reed catches your eye, and you hold up your hand slightly, letting him know that you’re aware. Alyssum blows you a kiss, and Mox frowns slightly. He’s unhappy, very sensitive still.

Soon, the governor is giving a speech on what it’s going to be like. All victors this year are required to stand during the reaping. Normally, you’re all forced to sit down while the kids get reaped. Things had to be changed because you’re not regular people, you’re victors.

He gives the Dark Days speech, and soon enough he’s tired of it, and passes it to Elysia. She’s a little surprised that he cut it so short, and knowing that it’s a required speech, he’s going to get in trouble later on. On the way back to his seat, he gives you all a look of sorrow.

He’s sorry for this.

Elysia introduces herself, wishing everyone a happy hunger games, though it sounds bitter. It sounds like she doesn’t want to be the one doing this. She doesn’t want to be your district representative. Finally, she wishes for the odds to be in everyone’s favor.

Every single year prior, she’s started with girls. It’s always a ‘ladies first’ because it’s a courtesy thing. However, you asked her for something different this year. You asked her to draw boys first.

“Gentlemen first,” she tells everyone, as if it’s what she does first.

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Finnick glance at you. You look back briefly, shrugging as if you have no clue what’s going on. When in reality, it’s your doing. You asked her for this.

Elysia sticks her hand inside of the bowl, wincing slightly as she pulls out a paper. You can feel your stomach tighten as you hold your breath.

‘Don’t be Finnick,’ you think, ‘Please, please, please don’t be Finnick. Don’t be Finnick.’

Elysia removes the tape slowly, and just by the look on her face, your body feels like it goes to goo. She gives you a side-eye glance as she goes to the microphone, “Our male tribute this year, is… Finnick Odair.”

Finnick stands up taller now, and you watch as he passes in front of you. He takes it gracefully, waving his hand with a bright smile on his face. You wait and wait for one of the other guy tributes to volunteer over him, but it’s silence. None of them even twitch.

You feel like you’re in someone else’s body. This isn’t you, this isn’t your life. There is no Quarter Quell, your husband wasn’t just chosen to go back inside.

You’re not a victor of the sixty-fifth hunger games.

“Next are the ladies.” Elysia dips her hand in, pulling out a random slip of paper.

It doesn’t matter what it says on this paper. It could say Mags, it could say Annie, it could say the other woman. There’s a one in four chance here.

Elysia opens the paper much quicker this time, being careful not to rip it because of the tape. She doesn’t glance at you again, she leans straight in for the microphone.

You stand up taller now, pressing your lips together.

“Our female tribute this year is Annie Cresta.”

Time stops.

Annie immediately bursts into tears, still completely unaware about the plan that’s about to save her. She will never have to go into the games ever again, you and Mags are here to make sure that it happens.

Finnick is relieved, you can see his face relax slightly, and you know it’s because it’s not you who was called. He won’t have to compete with you inside of the arena. He thinks that you’ll be safe and sound inside of the district. You won’t be hurt, you’ll be in the comfort of your own home, with your two brothers and single sister.

The same relief is going through your body like water. It’s flowing from your head, straight to your toes. You can feel yourself grow anxious, and your stomach swarms with butterflies almost instantly.

You can see Mags shaking her head, which means that she’s about to volunteer for Annie. Take her place, so she can go inside of that arena with Finnick instead.

Unfortunately for her, you have other plans. You had Elysia go boys first so you’d know if Finnick were to get picked. The second that his name was called, the decision was made. You have to volunteer over who may be picked. You just had to hope that it wasn’t your name that was going to be pulled.

Everything’s worked so perfectly.

Mags can raise her arm as fast as she can to volunteer. But the fact of the matter is you can speak faster. Your words count more than her actions in this sense.

Your eyes flicker to the nearest camera, knowing that all eyes are on you. Everyone in the Capitol is watching this, including President Snow. All the victors who are chosen this year, will look back at this to see who’s picked.

You take a step forward, raising your hand slightly as if you’re admitting to something like you’ve gotten in trouble, “I volunteer as tribute.”