#taaco twins my beloveds

[diabeticriddler]

my taako has glasses and theyre always crusty as hell bc he never wipes them off bc lup would always be like "eww taako gimmie ur glasses theyre fucking nasty" and he just never felt the need to do it himself even after the memory wipe and just has the vague memory that someone used to clean them off for him. he probably assumes it was his aunt or smthn

[fizzsparkpop]

for those who liked my taako design, i’m making a full piece with him!!! i wanted to focus on his loss of lup (the thorns to his rose)

[noodyl-blasstal]

For the prompts - 14 with the twins mayhaps? (I love your writing so much)

Thank you so much for this, you're so kind and I'm really glad you enjoy!

Prompt 14 is: You drive me insane. Obviously I would go to hell for you. (perfect for the twins)

--

“I hate you.”

“I hate you too.” Taako twists another chunk of Lup’s curls up on top of her head.

“I hate you harder.”

“Good. It gives cha’boy strength.”

Lup snaps her teeth at him in the mirror.

Taako doesn’t flinch, just grins back as big and as smug as he can.

“Just stop taking my makeup?” She makes her eyes go wide enough that Taako almost relents.

He doesn’t though, he’s stronger than that, he’s a lifetime veteran of The Lup Look. She shouldn’t use it so often if she wants it to keep its potency. “How else was cha’boy supposed to get this shiny?” Taako wiggles his shimmery shimmery arm.

“By buying your own glitter, Goofus.”

“Uh huh, yeah, sure, no problem, cha’boy’ll start doing that as soon as you start buying your own skirts. Also washing up liquid.”

“I got some!”

“You got the off brand shit.” Taako doesn’t even try to hide his distain.

“It works just as wel…”

“No it fucking doesn’t! We’ve had this conversation, I refuse to believe that you think for a second that it does, you’re smarter than that.” Taako pins another chunk of hair firmly (but gently) in place.

“Aw! You think I’m smart?” Lup bats her eyelashes and gives him the sickliest smile she can manage in the mirror.

“I didn’t say that!” 

“You absolutely did, but fine, we’ll test the Garfield dish stuff sometime.” Lup shrugs nonchalantly, too nonchalantly.

Taako looks her straight in her mirror eyes. “You swapped it!” 

“I didn’t.” Mirror Lup avoids looking back at him.

“Prove it.”

“Prove I did!”

“Taako doesn’t need to prove it, he knows it.”

“Oh, so you decided I did something and that’s it forever? What if I assume you’re going to let me have full control of the TV for the rest of the month?”

“Breaking news, Dingus, you’re not Taako and therefore it doesn’t matter.”

“Cha’girl’s just decided that it works when she decides something’s true too.”

“That’s not how it works!”

“Then how does it work?”

Taako pins the last of her hair into place and adds the pins that make it look like there’s flames springing up from her crown.

“It works.”

“That’s not an answer, Ko.” Lup turns her head a few times, then adds, “...thanks, that looks great.”

“Yeah you do!”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere.”

“It’s important to boost your confidence, Taako knows it’s tough being the less hot twin.” 

Lup kicks him. Taako isn’t entirely sure how because she’s sat down and he’s behind her and there’s a fucking chair in the way, but she manages it because she’s nothing if not resourceful.

“We have the same face!”

“Sure we do.” 

“You’re the worst.”

“I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?” Taako sticks his tongue out.

“Have I ever told you that I hate you?”

Taako taps his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm… have you, Lup Taaco, my most beloved sister, ever told me, your darling brother, that you hate me? Surely not! Surely you would never hurt cha’boy that way.”

Lup’s eyes narrow and Taako surreptitiously double checks where the nearest exit is. He can hurdle the costuming tables no problem. Sure, it’d take a while for Lucretia to forgive him if he fucked up her system, but life or death…

“Twintentional Destruction! It’s go time in 60 seconds!” Ren shouts through the door.

“We’re gonna crush ‘em.” Lup jumps out of the chair, there’s no ounce of doubt in her voice, it’s just fact.

“Natch.” Taako shrugs. “We’re unstoppable.”

“Do you wanna do the piggyback, or should I?”

“You can get on my back this time. You had that cool pose we practised.”

“Hell yeah! They’re not gonna know what hit ‘em.”

“What hit ‘em’ll be you. Clotheslining them from my back.”

“Fine, they might know…”

“But if we’re really quick…” Taako adds

“Then they might at least be slightly confused.”

“Do you know anything about these guys?” 

Taako had meant to, you know, do some kind of google or ask literally anyone for any information, but time happened and then the fight was today. He’d figure it out once he got out there.

Lup skrunkles up her nose in thought as they walk towards the staging area. “Nah. I think one of them was called Bluejean or something?”

“I saw some incredible feather cloak on the costume table, but ‘Creesh threatened to put a curse on me if I tried to steal it.”

“Did you try anyway?”

“Look, magic doesn’t exist right? But if it did…”

“If it did then Lucretia would definitely use it to damn your soul forever if you messed up the system.”

“Exactamundo. So you see how it’s not worth finding out if she can or not?”

“Yeah, fair. I’d miss you if she banished you to the depths of super hell.” Lup pats him fondly on the shoulder as they reach their marked entrance spot. Ren nods, holds up both hands to let them know there’s 10 seconds to go.

“I’d miss you too. Now let’s go murder some fresh meat.”

“Denim Man and Feather Boy are going down!”

Lup jumps onto his back and raises a triumphant fist. There’s no way they’re not taking victory tonight.

[charmandhex]

For @halcyonhowl, because I am rather late and also finally came up with a Taakitz idea I liked for the prompt “forbidden kiss.” ~

In Taako’s defense, this is not the worst decision he’s ever made. It’s probably just a few scant steps from the top of that list, but it’s not at the very top.

Still. Taako might end up regretting this one.

Listen, it goes without saying that dating the boss’s kid is a bad idea. Everybody knows that.

Pluuuuuuuus, you don’t want to get involved with your coworkers, ‘cause that can fuck up your whole working environment. Really bad idea.

Not to mention. Making out with someone the night before you’re getting on a small boat with seven other people, of which they are one, and so you’ll be stuck in confined quarters with them… for two months. Now that’s a stupendously bad idea right there.

Kravitz, son of the head of the IPRE, junior medical officer reporting to Captain D. Davenport, and the talented bard whom Taako had been sitting directly next to for the day’s earlier press conference about the Starblaster mission to explore and research the outer reaches of the Prime Material Plane for a period of two months, meets all of the aforementioned criteria to make kissing him a spectacularly bad idea.

And yet when Taako draws back from a spectacularly good first kiss, still very pleased with himself for hustling some shoes and now for another reason entirely, it’s Kravitz he sees, looking as gorgeous as ever and gratifyingly stunned.

“Uh- um-” Kravitz coughs a few times to clear his throat. “That was…”

As Kravitz is clearly collecting his thoughts after being blown away by the experience that is kissing Taako Taaco, Taako himself glances around, only half concerned that someone else on the mission might have seen.

Lup, tied for most brilliant arcanist/amazing chef aboard the ship with Taako and also Taako’s beloved twin sister, nails yet another trick shot at the pool table, causing an uproar of groans from anyone who’d dared bet against her. She looks up, eyebrow arched and mouth smirking, immediately catching her brother’s eye. She looks from Taako to Kravitz and back again, and she winks.

Yeah. Not like he’d expected to be able to keep a secret from her. He’s gonna get so much shit for this later.

Captain Davenport, the only other person actually capable of giving Taako shit for this, seems to be heavily engrossed in conversation with resident nerd Barry Bluejeans, probably going over last-minute bond engine shit for tomorrow. Neither of them has noticed shit, thank fuck.

Though Taako doubts that one of their resident arcanists/chefs kissing their junior medical officer would be the thing to get their attention, considering that their twenty-year-old security officer built like a brick shithouse has managed to start a bar fight. Magnus Burnsides looks to be having the time of his life and utterly oblivious to everything else.

Their senior medical officer, Merle Highchurch, seems to be trying to placate a few seedy-looking ruffians and on his way to unintentionally starting a second bar fight, while occasionally popping up over the bar behind him to look around is their chronicler. Eh, if Lucretia has seen anything, she might write it down, but she’s too quiet to actually say anything.

“Uh. Taako?” Right. Hot boy alert. Taako turns back to the hot boy in front of him, now looking less stunned and a bit more awkward. Kravitz has reached up to scratch at his neck and is needling at his lip, still thinking of what to say. “Uh, should we- is this-” Someone’s beer bottle soars over their heads, exploding as it crashes into the wall behind them. The place is enough of a dive that Taako doubts the stain on the wall and the layer of broken glass on the floor will even be noticeable.

“Tell ya what, bones, why don’t we get out of here?” Taako asks with a dazzling smile.

“Um. Sure, but- bones?” Kravitz looks askance at Taako as they stand.

“Yeah, you know, like Fantasy Star Trek? The medical officer?”

Taako realizes his mistake as Kravitz’s face crinkles up into a smile, and he laughs. It’s a nice sound. Taako could get used to that. “I would have thought that was too nerdy for you.”

“Yeah, uh, yeah, it is. Doesn’t mean you don’t get the whole… nerd cultural osmosis when you live on a campus with a bunch of nerds. And besides, you got that reference once I explained it!”

“Yes, but I never professed to not be a nerd,” Kravitz says smugly.

“Yeah, because anybody who spends more than eight hours a day playing violin can’t exactly deny it.”

Kravitz opens his mouth to reply, but whatever retort he was going to make is cut off as they very suddenly have to move as a large purple Dragonborn sails backward through the air, crash landing squarely into their table and collapsing it. Taako grins at Kravitz, this one no dazzle, all humor. “So, about getting out of here?”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

It’s quieter, outside, far quieter than Taako would expect, with even the birds and cicadas seeming to hold their breath in anticipation of the summer storm to come. Dark, too, and darker than expected, with massive gray clouds hanging heavy in the sky, blocking out the sky and stars.

“Seems like bad luck,” Kravitz says, looking up at the sky. “Starting a voyage off with a storm.”

Taako shakes his head, the bells on his hat jingling. Even those seem muted. “Nah, bones. It’s just to make it easier to leave behind.”

“If you say so.”

Taako scoffs, throwing the hustled shoes over his shoulder. “Listen, I am an adult elf and over 100 years old.” Of course, that statement may be reliant on some considerable rounding, but no one needs to know that. “I know what I’m talking about.”

“I can’t imagine having that kind of lifetime.” Kravitz says, and Taako’s eyes are drawn to the bard’s very human-looking ears. Something twists, disquieted, in his stomach. Probably just those greasy bar snacks Lup had dared him to try.

“Yeah, well, play your cards right and not like that chucklefuck-” Taako jabs his thumb in the direction of the bar, and as if on cue, there’s a whoop from Magnus, “-and you might just see the other side of a century, my man.”

Kravitz laughs, and again, Taako is surprised by how much he likes the sound. “I guess we’ll see. Oh, and, uh, thanks, again, for…”

Taako’s mouth quirks into a grin, and he lets out a laugh of his own. “Saving your ass from getting hustled at pool? If Lup and I had known you were such an easy mark, you’d be barefoot right now, my dude.”

Kravitz feigns injury at that. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I fuckin’ would. You should avoid gambling, bones.”

“But it’s fun!” Kravitz whines. “I like gambling, I like games and wits and wagers.”

“So you like losing too?”

Kravitz blows out a breath, defeated. “No.”

“Gotta say, I think I won on both counts though, what with the shoes and the boy,” Taako says, and Kravitz brightens up at that. Impulsively, Taako grabs Kravitz’s hand, ignoring the look of surprise and immediately being surprised himself. “Fuck, bones, your hands are cold.” Taako yelps.

“Ah, circulation issues,” Kravitz says, looking almost embarrassed. “Hereditary. You don’t have to… Taako, why are you holding my hand?”

Good point. Why did Taako actually grab their junior medical officer’s ice-cold hand? “Pfft, yeah, listen… listen, it’s dark as shit, and you humans can’t see in the dark. How else are you gonna get safely home if my magic eyes and I don’t escort you?” Taako pauses, doubt finally catching up to him. “But if it’s a problem…” Taako says, making to disentangle his hand from Kravitz’s.

“No!” Kravitz exclaims, just a little too loud. “No. By all means. Lead the way.”

Taako grins before raising Kravitz’s hand to kiss it. “Gladly.”

Sure, this might a bad idea, but at the end of the day, it’s two months, right? What could happen?