#swiss make brain go brr

[dearspiritss]

literally anything swiss x reader !!! (please)

I'm sorry this took so long, but is that another Swiss lover I see? I have just the thing for you. A taste of hurt/comfort for you my dear.

CW: descriptions of panicking, overthinking, passing out.

Reader is a ghoul because I said so ☝️

“I’ve Got You.”

You didn’t hate Swiss, you never did, but the day you were summoned and you saw that overly enthusiastic grin, you decided to avoid him like the plague. Yet, somehow, he always found his way to you. Obnoxiously breaking down those walls you oh so carefully built up, trying to get past that fiery attitude you always held. He adored the way you reacted to his antics. The way you’d growl and snarl at him until you’d just give up, giving him a harsh punch to the arm. The way your face flushed with anger and your spaded tail flicking behind you as you yell at him to “just go away”.

He wouldn’t give up. He needed to break you, to try and find the softest part of you that you’d buried away for no one to see.

And this didn’t go unnoticed by the pack, far from it, they got involved on multiple occasions. One ghoul having to hold you back from ripping his face off, another ushering Swiss away so they could calm you down. All because of a small comment on your hair that morning, how it looked nice. He was nice to you, yeah he teased you a lot, but there was never any venom behind it. You didn’t know why you got so pissed off the sudden compliments or his dopey smile. You don’t know why you reacted the way you did when he spoke to you. Maybe you really did hate him-

-or maybe you were afraid of loving him.

Ever since that thought popped up, you haven’t been able to sleep. Laying restlessly in your bed, staring up at the ceiling and pondering about the unforeseen fear. Angry and confused tears gather in your eyes, making the different colors of your room blend together. You tried your best to not let them fall, not to let your composure fall, but you failed. Over and over, giving into the overwhelming thoughts and fears at night. You were drowning, unable to breathe. Eventually you gave up, finding yelling and screaming exhausting whenever he came around to tease you. You would just stand there with a dead expression, and he noticed.

He noticed your tired eyes and the sorrowful tone in your voice when you spoke, and it worried him. Did he cause this? Something in him changed, he stopped. He stopped making sly comments and gestures, just a casual “hello” whenever he came in contact with you. This confuses you, deepening your current state. The dark circles under your eyes darkened in color and your skin was paler than usual. You’d lost your spark, and he noticed. He noticed everything. He had a suspicion that things wouldn’t end well for you if this kept on any longer, and he couldn’t have been any more right.

Practice was only getting worse, wearing you down layer by layer. One day it was especially rough, you’d barely gotten through it with a few mistakes here and there. No one noticed, no one except him. When everyone was dismissed, it was just you and him in the almost soundproof room. You were struggling to stay upright, swaying back and forth. Your restless nights and horrid habits were catching up to you at the worst possible time. He noticed. With worried eyes, he watched. He watched as you struggled to pack up your instrument and notes, the obvious tremble in your hands making it hard to do so.

“y/n, are you alright? You seem a bit… shaken up.” He asked, cautiously making his way towards you in small steps. You could only turn and nod your head, which made you dizzy. You held your head in one hand, trying to calm yourself down. “I’m fine.” He was close now, you started to panic. “Are you sure you’re fine? You don’t look fine.” Your breathing picked up and that familiar feeling of drowning came back to you. Before you could even register it, your legs gave out beneath you, but you didn’t hit the ground. Instead, a pair of warm arms wrapped around you. “You’re alright, I’ve got you.”

When did your room get so warm? The some-what familiar scent of cedar and whiskey, and maybe a hint of weed, gently washed over you. You shot up from your sleep, looking around at your surroundings. This wasn’t your room, far from it. The sound of a door opening and the light shuffle of feet caught your attention. When you looked towards the door, your frightened eyes were met with Swiss’ own wide ones. He was holding two mugs, steam flowing up and into the atmosphere of the room. He quickly shut the door and hurried to your side, sitting the mugs on his side table.

“You feeling better?” Swiss questioned, taking his place beside you on the edge of the bed. You nodded and he rubbed your head, being careful of your horns. You were sore and confused, so confused. “What happened.. The last thing I remember is being in practice.” The ghoul in front of you sighed and shifted his position. “You blacked out, luckily I was there to catch you before you hit the ground.” You looked down at your hands in your lap, giving a small “oh”. He took your hands into his, they were warm and calloused presumably from his guitar wearing them down. “Why didn’t you tell any of us you were struggling?”

You couldn’t keep back the sob that ripped its way though your throat. “I-I try so hard to be strong, I really do, but you- I-“ Is all you somehow managed between heavy sobs, and he somewhat understood. He pulled you into a tight embrace, running a soothing hand up and down your back. “You are. You’re so strong, but what’s got you breaking like this?” Swiss’ voice was right in your ear, which in turn made you sob harder. “Y-You. Satanas, it’s always been you.” His breath hitched in his throat and his hand stopped. “Oh. I’m so sorry- I’ve tried to stop teasing and bothering you. I-I knew it was me, you should leave-“

You cut him off, pulling back and furiously shaking your head. “Swiss, no- you don’t get it.“ He put both hands on your shoulders, golden eyes staring into your own. “Then help me understand. How do I help you?” Another sob came through you, this time gentler than the last. “The sly compliments and teasing- your voice, your signature grin, your eyes- I love it all, I love you. I’m so scared to love you, I’m scared to love anyone..” He put a hand on your neck and pulled you close again, his clawed finger tips tangling into your hair. There was a silence, a short one that felt like an eternity.

“I understand, and I love you too. So much. It’ll take some time, but you’ll learn to love again. I promise I’ll be here every step of the way, you’ll never be alone again.” You nodded and let yourself melt into his hold, the heavy feeling of fear disappearing. The two of you sat like this for a while, barely moving an inch. The comfortable silence was broken by the multi ghoul. “I’m gonna let go for a second, ok?” You hummed and pulled away, sleep tugging at your eyelids. Your eyes followed him as he laid back against the mount of pillows on his bed. He opened his arms and tilted his head, signaling you over.

You hesitantly accepted, situating yourself on his chest. He gently wrapped his arms around your form, placing a soft kiss to your forehead. Before you knew it, you were a puddle of ghoul in his arms, lightly purring at his heartbeat. He chuffed out a laugh, making his chest bounce slightly. “You just needed some love, sweetheart, and I’m here to give it ya’ whenever you need it.” A small smile crept onto your lips and you nodded.

The next morning, the ghouls couldn’t figure out why your behavior changed overnight. The day before you were a sack of bones, today you were beaming at anyone you came across. They weren’t complaining, though, they loved this unforeseen part of you. What made them nervous was when Swiss walked into the kitchen, going straight for you. He tapped you on the shoulder and smiled at you as you turned around to face him. A few ghouls gasped from the distant living room when he opened his arms to you, suggesting a hug, which you hesitantly, but happily, accepted.

They were confused, so confused, but happy. Happy for you, happy for Swiss, and happy that they didn’t have to deal with y’all’s shit anymore.

Again, sorry this took a bit and that it’s kinda sucky, I wrote the majority of this sleep deprived. I hope you enjoy it though <3

[weidli]

watched züri brännt. having normal emotions