#sweeping thing w his hand and i said a quiet thank u

[ventismacchiato]

today was not my day 🙏 like everyday ain’t my day but especially today 🙏 god i am not ur strongest soldier stop giving me ur hardest battles (going to college)

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

Obedient. (Shigaraki x f!Reader; NSFW)

Commission for @kazooli​.

Shigaraki knows you are upset. Not that he needs to use his intuitive perceptiveness to notice your downtrodden mood -- you are, and always will be, an open book of emotions. 

You try to be on your best behavior. You always try. Nobody needs to see their teammate moping around the decrepit hideout when everyone has their own problems to deal with. It could always be worse, you tell yourself. And you need to stay strong for your leader. 

But he knows. Finds you pouting on the ripped up sofa, even though you are the one who should come to him when called. You look up at him with your doe-eyed, downtrodden expression, and Shigaraki’s expressionless eyes sweep over you before walking past. Your gaze lingers on his broad back, wishing you could reach out and grasp the fabric of his coat just to keep him around a little longer. 

He pauses in front of the door. “Come with me,” he commands, and you are on your feet before you even think to ask why or where you are going.

-

The exhilaration of walking by your leader’s side through winding streets is enough to keep your mouth shut. Better to be quiet for now, anyway. Better to move like a shadow, like Shigaraki’s shadow. It must be a mission. You keep your eyes and ears sharp and primed, ready to take on the next challenge. 

Until Dabi’s words ring through your mind and you feel yourself deflating all over again.

Shigaraki pays no attention to you. He leads and leads, guides you towards a destination only he knows, and you are grateful for the chance to simply follow. You try not to question him when he stops at a food stall. Two orders of takoyaki, spoken with a quiet, serious request. Your stomach grumbles and you grip it in embarrassment. When was the last time you ate?

The worker holds out your meal. Shigaraki looks at you expectantly, and you realize he wants you to take it. And you do, rushed and mousy as you thank the worker, and then you spend the next minute mentally berating yourself for saying thank you at all. You are a villain. Why would you thank a random nobody? You should be thanking your leader instead. And you do.

He offers a grunt and keeps walking. Your heart flutters at the sound. 

You end your journey on a rooftop. The building is not familiar to you, and you doubt Shigaraki knows it either. A random building with a roof that smells like asphalt and cigarettes. You take a deep breath as the wind wafts the takoyaki steam toward you, and your stomach growls demandingly. 

You wedge yourselves into a narrow space, hidden from surveillance or anyone who may come onto the roof. Your only view is that of Shigaraki sitting across from you and you are perfectly okay with that. Very okay with that, in fact, especially since his legs are forced to bend and rest on either side of you. Your only choice is to sit cross-legged for his comfort, and you try your very best to avoid staring at his crotch.

It’s right there in front of you. He just brazenly has his legs spread out and brushing along your knees and you shove the takoyaki into your drooling mouth to keep yourself occupied. All you would need to do is bend forward, and it wouldn’t be the takoyaki in your mouth anymore. It would be something else entirely, something musky and warm and solid, and you squirm in your spot as heat pools below your belly. 

Shigaraki silently eats the first stick of takoyaki and sets the box aside. You pause your eating and wait, because he has that pensive look in his eyes right now. His arms are limp and resting on his knees, and you allow yourself to admire his beautiful hands. Beautiful to you, long and slender fingers, blue veins peeking through pale skin, oh how desperately you want him to touch you - 

“So.” The word hangs in the air between you. You stare at him, obediently waiting for him to continue. He doesn’t look at you. “What happened.” 

“U-um … “ You wrack your brain as your anxiety builds. Did you do something wrong? Were his plans compromised? “I’m sorry, I don’t - “ 

“You’ve been looking like a kicked dog all day.” 

“Oh.” You muster up a weak smile. “It’s nothing serious. Maybe I was just hungry, or … you know. Present circumstances and all that.” 

“Don’t lie to me.” 

Perceptive. You don’t want to burden him. It really was such a silly disagreement with Dabi. “Really, it’s - “

He says your name. You look at him, transfixed by his solemn stare. His eyes are sharp, commanding. “Tell me.” 

And you do. Nothing at first, trapped in your throat, and then all at once.

“Dabi is just such an asshole,” you blurt out, and Shigaraki’s snort encourages you to word vomit. “He took me with him on a scouting mission and things didn’t go as planned and he kept blaming me! He said it was my fault and that - and that I’m … useless.” Your head hangs in shame as you stare hard into your lap. “He said I’m useless and that the League doesn’t need me. So I’ve been thinking all day about that. If I wasn’t useful to society and I’m not useful to the League, then ... “ You don’t know where your trail of thought was going. “I don’t want to feel useless,” you whisper. “I don’t want to hold anyone back. I don’t want to waste your time like - like right now.” 

Shigaraki waits for you to finish. He looks a little surprised. “That’s a lot.”

Your mouth gapes like a fish before you shut it tight and dig your nails into your thighs, hoping the pain would counteract your burning embarrassment threatening to swallow you whole. “Sorry. I talk a lot.” 

He eyes you with a calculated expression while you silently flounder in your awkwardness. “Come here,” he suddenly says, and your confusion makes him grow impatient. “Turn around. Back to my front.” He motions to the space between his legs. “Right here, puppy girl.” 

You nearly choke on your gasp.

Your body moves mechanically, too stunned by shock to make your body look anything other than enticing. You sit as he directed, back to his front, and wrap your arms around your knees as you try to calm your breathing. A gap remains between you, because there is no way Shigaraki would want you pressed up against him, except he does and you let out a startled squeak when he places his arms beneath your thighs, spreads your legs over his, and makes you lean back onto him. 

“What are you doing?” you breathe out, heart stammering in your chest as you soak up his body heat and pray to god that this moment will never end. 

“Testing out your obedience,” he off-handedly comments, and your clothed cunt immediately becomes flooded from the vibrations of his voice, the low rumble so close to your ear. His hands move to grip your forearms, and you jolt at the contact, all wired up with frayed nerves and anticipation. “I want to know what makes you think I’m wasting my time here.” 

“W-we’re talking about me.” 

“Yeah. And you know what I learned?” His mouth is close to your ear now. You shiver at the feeling of his breath tickling your skin. “I learned that you’re not at the top of your game right now. You’re drowning - “ He taps a finger to your temple. “ - from all of these fuzzy little thoughts in your head. And I can’t have an obedient puppy girl if she’s thinking too much.” 

“I - “ 

“Quiet.” One hand cups your throat, middle finger poised over your pulse. The hold is firm and encompassing around your neck. It makes you tremble with desire. “We have to get rid of those thoughts, don’t we?” His other hand brazenly cups your mound, and you let out the most pathetic sound of your life. “There’s a lot of ways to release pent up feelings,” he continues conversationally, fingers delving past the waistband of your bottoms. “I’m feeling charitable enough to help you out.” 

Your endless stream of thoughts fizzle out as soon as he finds your swollen clit. “Thank you,” you sob, gripping his arm and gyrating your hips for more of his touch. “Thank you, thank you, thank you - “ 

The hand at your throat moves up to cover your mouth. “Shhh.” Fingertip moves lower, runs itself through the slickness oozing out of your tight heat. “Relax.” You whimper brokenly, slump back against him as he rubs your clit in feather-light strokes. His hand moves from your mouth and rests on your temple, fingers buried in your hair. “This is what you’re good for.”

Shigaraki is not an expert by any means. Sometimes he loses his momentum, rubs too hard or too slowly, doesn’t really know how to set a proper pace. But you have never felt more wet before. Never has your heart raced this quickly, never has a simple touch driven you to mindless pleasure. 

He plunges inside you unexpectedly, shushing you once more as you let out a wordless cry, and even through the pain of being stretched far too soon, you feel your pussy loosen to accommodate your beloved leader’s thick fingers. He works you open good and proper, thorough in his thrusting, forcing you to take him down to the last knuckle. You lie there and take it, moaning and writhing in his lap as he fucks your sloppy cunt. 

“Just let it all out,” he murmurs in your ear. “It’s not good to keep the bad shit locked away inside. Or else one day … “ His fingers ease out of your pussy and leave a trail of juices clinging to his fingertips. You try your best not to whine as he brings his fingers up for inspection. “ … It’s all gonna come pouring out.” 

You don’t know what he is trying to do. You don’t know what he wants from you when his fingers tap against your bottom lip, but your mouth falls open all the same to let him smear your juices onto your tongue. A pathetic, desperate whimper escapes as you taste yourself on his fingers. And you taste him. Your leader’s fingers are buried in your warm mouth and your stretched cunt contracts from dizzy exhilaration. 

Your tongue licks away the evidence of your arousal, and for one delirious moment you think you hear Shigaraki hum in approval. He pops the digits out of your mouth and you begin to ramble before you can stop yourself. “Y-you don’t … have to do this,” you shyly stutter, cheeks burning from shame as his hand drops back between your trembling thighs. “I was being dumb, I’ll get over it, you d-don’t have to worry about me like this - “ 

You break off into a choked gasp as he traps your clit between two fingers and slowly runs them up and down. 

“It’s fine,” he murmurs, lets your head fall back onto his shoulder. “A leader takes care of his subordinates.” 

A burst of emotions burns your chest at the statement. How could something sound so detached yet intimate? You wonder what this means to him. You wonder if he’s done this for anyone else. The very thought of it makes tears well up behind your closed eyelids, but you do not let them fall. This is your special moment with your leader. Here and now, he chose to take care of you. You focus on those words instead, focus on how full they make you feel, just as his fingertip rubs your soaked entrance and slips back inside with ease. 

“Just trust me,” he murmurs. “I’m gonna train this greedy puppycunt to only think about me.”

Shigaraki keeps talking. He is so, so chatty, and it is hard to focus on his monologuing through the sound of your wet pussy being played with so thoroughly and invasively. You bury your face in his neck to stifle the whiny demands on the tip of your tongue, ignoring your monumental need for him to stop talking and just kiss you. It’s a selfish thought. Your leader is speaking to you. You should listen, you should let him take care of you, you have to trust him, you have to chase the high and let go, just as he always does on the battlefield. 

“You’re doing so well for me.” 

A heavy pit of pleasure builds deep within. 

“Always so obedient.” 

The thumb buried in your hair strokes slowly. 

“My favorite puppy.”

Your pussy clenches, fighting to suck him in and keep him inside. 

“Mine.” 

You come with a shrill keen, trembling and shaking through your orgasm as Shigaraki’s fingers pump in and out, squelching and sloshing your juices as loudly as he can. Your mind is adrift, completely gone. All you can do is lay limp in his arms and breathe heavily, letting him settle your underwear back over your messy cunt. 

There is silence for a moment. Only the sound of your breathing. His hand settles over the top of your head properly this time, ruffling your hair in a movement that might have been accidental if not for the fact that Shigaraki never makes mistakes. “I like you like this,” he says. “No thoughts or worries. Just a properly trained cunt and an obedient subordinate.” You smile a little at that. If only he knew how badly you wanted to be used by him. “I decide who’s useful to me, not Dabi. You’re around for a reason, got it?” 

Your heart aches with happiness. “Yes sir. I’m yours.” 

[officialscaramouche]

coping mechanisms

pairing: Chongyun x Xingqiu

summary: Chongyun musters up the courage to confess to Xingqiu, but it doesn’t go as planned

word count: 3,343

warnings: angst that fluffs at the end

notes: i woke up wanting to make chongyun cry so here u go

Chongyun closed the door by leaning back on it, kicking his shoes off haphazardly with a sigh. “I’m home,” he said quietly. If his little cousins hadn’t been waiting for him, the rest of the family wouldn’t have known he came back.

“Big brother!” They screamed as they jumped into his arms. “Play with us! Play with us!”

Chongyun grunted when he caught the two, exhausted mentally and physically from the day. “I’m sorry, guys. Maybe later, I want to lay down for a bit.”

“Awww no fair!” They frowned when he put them down.

“Now, now,” Chongyun’s mom walked the corner slapping her palm with a wooden spoon. “Give him some space. He’ll play with you two later.”

The kids run off laughing to continue whatever they were doing and Chongyun’s mom walks up to bring her son into a tight embrace. “Well? How was your date?”

Chongyun sighs into her shoulder, her immediately picking up something was wrong. “What happened? Did something go wrong?”

Chongyun pulled back and began walking upstairs to his room. “I don’t wanna talk about it,”

Her eyes follow his movements as he disappears upstairs. “Chongyun, you know I don’t like when you bottle things up,” she calls out, waiting for him to respond. “It makes it more difficult for you to perform exorcisms!”

Chongyun balls his fists in frustration, throwing his bedroom door open. “I’m fine!!” He yells back, slamming the door closed once he was inside. He throws himself onto his bed, the mattress bouncing for a bit as he listened to his family talk about him downstairs.

“That boy,” his mom breathes. “He’s got some temper, you know.”

“I know, honey,” his dad replies. “Just give him space. I’m sure he has his own coping mechanisms. He’ll be fine.”

Chongyun smothered himself beneath his pillow. Normally he would be fine. But this wasn’t some failed exorcism or messing up during practice. He peeked from under his pillow up at a picture on his wall. It was taken after he and Xingqiu had come back from a haunted house-- to which Chongyun believed was a genuine haunting. Xingqiu wore a silly costume pretending to be a zombie and he stood next to Chongyun with his mouth hanging open as if to bite the exorcist’s neck.

“Why am I so stupid!” Chongyun hissed, kicking his legs and thrashing about. Xingqiu was the most important person in his life. He couldn’t imagine living without him. That’s why he used today to make sure Xingqiu had a wonderful, memorable day.

Recalling the day’s events, Chongyun began by picking him up at his house. Xingqiu looked dolled up as usual. “Hi Chonggie,” he smiled with a wink. “You said you had a surprise for me?”

Chongyun blushed, now feeling like his gift was a little dumb. “Yeah,” he nodded, pulling out a small piece of paper from his pocket. “Although I guess you wouldn’t really need it.”

Xingqiu took the paper and read it quickly, a toothy smile spreading across his lips. “A coupon to Wanwen! Thank you Chonggie!!”

The scholar grabbed the exorcist's hand and dragged him off. “W-Wait, I have a schedule for us—”

Xingqiu looked back at Chongyun as they hurried down the bustling streets. “But now we gotta go to Wanwen!”

“O-Okay, you’re the boss…”

Chongyun stood there pouting as Xingqiu took his time going through all the books on the shelves. ‘We’ve been here for an hour,’ Chongyun thinks. ‘We’re supposed to be flying kites right now…’

Xingqiu clutched a book tightly to his chest. “Chongyun, I’ve been waiting forever for this book! I gotta tell you all about it!”

Chongyun couldn’t help but feel his frustration dissipate when he saw the sparkle in Xingqiu’s eyes. He had forgotten that today was supposed to make Xingqiu happy, not to follow a schedule. Xingqiu grabbed Chongyun’s hand and led him to the counter. “Yes, I look forward to hearing it.”

After the bookstore, Xingqiu wanted a nice quiet place to read and sip tea so they sat at a nice secluded area and had tea for an hour. Then, he wanted to walk along the port so they walked and talked for an hour. Then, he wanted to go shopping, so Xingqiu spent another hour bartering with the vendors and buying things he wanted.

Chongyun was getting more and more anxious the closer the sun got to the horizon. Xingqiu could tell because Chongyun grew quieter and dozed off more frequently. “Chongyun!” Xingqiu said suddenly, extending his hand out. The exorcist snapped back to reality and reached out to catch whatever was in the other boy’s hand. He dropped a bright colored sphere. “Candy! We just got some imported from Fontaine. Try it!”

Chongyun delicately unwrapped the sweet and popped it into his mouth. His eyes lit up from the flavor. “It’s yummy!” He exclaimed, chewing on it. “When will it be on the market? I’ll buy some.”

Xingqiu put his finger to his lips in thought. “I don’t know yet. Dad wanted me to go back before sundown so that I could be there to listen.”

“Oh,” Chongyun sighed, looking back at the pink and orange sky. “Then we should go back now.”

The walk back was quiet and awkward, which was unusual for the two. Xingqiu couldn't stand the tension, but he didn’t want to pry it out of Chongyun either. If he wanted to talk about it he would.

Xu greeted the boys with a polite bow as they ascended the stairs. “I had fun today, Chonggie!” Xingqiu stretched with a yawn. “I’ll see you tomorrow—”

“Wait!” Chongyun interrupted, looking away shyly. “There’s something I want to ask you…”

Xingqiu held his hands behind his back nicely. “Okay, what is it?”

The boy was quiet for a bit, looking away nervously and fiddling with his fingers. “Xingqiu, I…you’re my best friend in the whole world. I wouldn’t want to ruin what we have.” Xingqiu stood expectantly, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple. “I…I have been spending every night thinking about this and…and what I’m trying to ask is— is, will you be my boyf—”

Xingqiu looked away and scratched at his cheek. “Don’t be silly, Chonggie.” He chuckled. “We’re just friends, that’s all.” Xingqiu looked over Chongyun’s shoulder and at Xu who looked uninterested, yet uncomfortable with the situation. Chongyun’s shoulders trembled with hurt, his lips quivering uncontrollably and tears welling up along his lash line. “I’m sorry, I really must get inside now. I’ll see you later!”

And now, that evening Chongyun sat at the edge of his bed, a tear-stained picture in hand and ripped it half.

The next morning, Chongyun got up extra early to catch his dad and other relatives in the early morning prayer. He sat down next to his father, his hands on his knees with his palms facing up and hummed.

“Good morning, Little Chongyun. It’s good to finally have you in prayer.” His dad nudged him with his elbow playfully and smiled. “Feeling better?”

Chongyun furrowed his brow. “Prayer is supposed to be silent, I thought.”

His dad sighed and kissed his son’s cheek. “You’re right. Let’s pray.”

Chongyun threw himself into his exorcism practice. He spent many more hours than he usually did, even sat down and studied seriously for once. Days had gone by since he had left his house. Days had gone by since he had seen Xingqiu.

Chongyun sat in the pavilion in the backyard praying when his dad walked into the kitchen and snaked his arms around his wife’s waist. “I’m worried about him,” she whines. “He’s still only sixteen. He needs to be outside playing.”

“He’s doing this of his own volition,” his dad muttered into her shoulder. “It’s his way of dealing with what he’s got going on.”

“Overexerting himself isn’t going to make his problems go away!” She pushed her husband off and swiped a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water from the tap. “I’m going to tell him to rest—”

The door knocked with a visitor, Chongyun’s parents sharing a knowing glance. “I’ll give him the water,” his dad said. “And I’ll tell him to take a bath too.”

His mom untied the apron from around her waist and hung it on the hook, walking over to the door knowing who it was. “Good afternoon, Little Xingqiu,” she smiled.

“Hello, ma’am, is Chongyun able to come out today?” The boy stood so cutely, she thought. He poked at his fingers and smiled so sweetly. But she could see the nervousness in his eyes and the way he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

She sighed, hating lying to him. “I’m sorry, honey. His dad has him sweeping the backyard today.”

“Oh, okay.” He said simply with a hint of disappointment. “Thank you for your time ma’am,” he finalized and turned to walk away.

“You know,” she said, making him stop in his tracks to look back. “You don’t have to come everyday…he’ll show up when he can.”

Xingqiu peeked behind Chongyun’s mom’s waist and saw him walking in from outside, his little cousins following him behind. He was jealous of how close Chongyun was with his family, even if they had to live so uncomfortably close together. “I know,” he grinned again, hiding the hurt in his face. “I just…want to come to him, for once. I’ll come back tomorrow, good bye.”

Chongyun closed his eyes and prayed over his food, thanking Rex Lapis for giving him and his family life and providing food for the city to enjoy. But when he opened his eyes, half of his plate was missing and his cousin’s plate miraculously grew more full. He smiled and ruffled his cousin’s hair. “Where did my food go?” He asked sarcastically.

“Here, honey,” his mom came from behind and shoveled more of the chicken onto his plate. “You need to eat a lot if you’re going to keep working so hard.”

“Thanks mom,” he said, giving her his cheek for her to kiss.

“Are you and your friend doing okay?” She asked suddenly. Chongyun froze at the question, his dad giving her a questioning look. “Normally it’s hard to keep you home, but you’ve been home all week.”

“We’re fine,” Chongyun mumbled into his food, shoving his chopsticks into his mouth.

“He came by yesterday!” His cousin calls out. Chongyun coughs, hitting his chest to keep the food from choking him.

“Yeah!” His other cousin confirms. “And the day before that!”

“And the day before that!”

“And the day before—”

His mom comes up and scoops the little kid from the chair. “Okay, that’s enough.” Chongyun chugs his water down trying to help the food go down. “Are you okay, honey? Do you need more water?”

Chongyun grips at his chest and waves his hand frantically. “No— no, I’m okay. Did…he say anything?”

His mom holds his little cousin on her hip and starts spoon feeding him there. “He always asks the same thing: is Chongyun able to come out today?” She said pretending to be him. “I don’t want to get between the two of you so I said your dad had you doing work.”

The boy was quiet, staring at his food. “Maybe you should open the door tomorrow,” his dad chimes in.

“Yeah!” His mom agrees. “That’s a great idea! He comes around two. I’ll let you know when he’s here.”

Chongyun stood quietly, pushing his chair in and picking up his plate. “I’m not hungry anymore. I’ll be in my room.”

Chongyun hung his arm off the side of the bed, staring out the window to watch the pink and orange sky turn black. He swung his hand around, his fingers hitting the rim of his trash can. He peeked over and saw the torn picture he had thrown away. He felt bad now that he looked at the picture ripped in half. He had separated them in the picture and also in real life.

He had no idea that Xingqiu had been coming over. If he had known the first time, he probably would’ve fallen all over himself to get to the door. He’d been making Xingqiu come by everyday. Taking that walk by himself only to be turned away every single time.

He took the halves of the picture and squeezed them together. He pinned them back on the wall where they were but it would never be the same again. Instead of having a perfect, flawless picture of a happy day, he’s now reminded of his mistakes and how he was to blame for their ruined friendship.

When he woke the next day he felt ill. His head was pounding, he was drenched in sweat, and his stomach was doing flips. His mom switched out the towel on his forehead and put a newly washed rag instead. “My poor baby, it’s because you’ve been working too much.”

Chongyun groaned through the pain and winced when his mother touched his face. “If I can’t do these simple things, then how can I call myself an exorcist?”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you think I became an exorcist overnight? No! Your father and I were just like you and Little Xingqiu. We always snuck off to be together. But look at us now, we carry the family on our backs. You’ll get there, sweetie. Enjoy this time as a teenager.”

Chongyun pulled the blanket over his head. “Mom, I messed up.”

“What’s wrong honey, what happened? Did you two fight?”

“No…I told him how I felt about him. And I asked him out…but he told me we were just friends…” Chongyun sucked in a breath. “I messed up…how am I supposed to hang out with him now? He makes my heart beat so hard, but I don’t do the same for him…”

His mom pulled the blanket down a little to see his eyes. “Chongyun there’s more to life than that. Life is about making memories and going on adventures. But even so, if he didn’t care about you as much as he does, he wouldn’t come over looking for you and acting so pathetic when you’re busy. I think there’s more to it than you think. Ask him about it today.”

Chongyun didn’t get out of bed the whole morning. He drifted in and out of sleep, trying to quell his illness. But he woke once more when he heard soft knocks from downstairs. He heard his mom greet their guest cheerfully and say, “he pushed himself too hard so he’s upstairs resting. Go and wake him up, he hasn’t eaten lunch yet.”

He waited anxiously as the footsteps climbed the stairs, came down the hall, and stopped at his door. It was quiet, and time went by so slow before there were knocks at his door. “…Chongyun? Can I come in?”

Chongyun mustered all of his strength and sat up. “…Come in.”

Xingqiu pushed the door open slowly, peeking his head inside before coming in. Chongyun was still in his pajamas and his hair was all askew from being in bed all day. “Pfft,” Xingqiu shot a hand to his mouth to cover the laugh breaking through his lips. “It smells in here, have you even showered yet?”

Chongyun flushed red and turned his head to the side. “No. Sorry if it’s offensive.”

Xingqiu dropped his smile in guilt. His heart ached remembering how Chongyun looked everywhere but at him during his confession. But the last time he remembered the direct eye contact was when he picked him up that morning. He cursed himself for not being able to remember what they looked like. Blue…like his hair? No, lighter than that…right?

He laid in bed reminiscing on the feel of Chongyun’s rough, calloused hands in his. The way he was so delicate and particular with his fingers, picking up the candy as if it would break if he squeezed too hard. The way he blushed so easily and stuttered when he was embarrassed.

“No,” he said barely over a whisper. “I was just…teasing.” He padded over and sat in front of the exorcist who stared out the window. “I heard you’d been working a lot,” he said, trying to break the silence. Normally he had a lot to tell Chongyun, but now he struggled to even find his voice.

“Yes,” he responded, still with a hint of tenderness despite the anguish. “I spent a lot of time neglecting my duties. But with all this newfound free time, I might as well be productive.”

“I missed you,” Xingqiu said quickly, as if panicking. Chongyun looked at the scholar from the corner of his eye, making him flinch under the sudden gaze. “I’ve…thought a lot about what you said.”

Chongyun exhaled deeply and looked back out the window. “It’s fine,” he said curtly. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it. I understand.”

Xingqiu scratched the back of his neck, looking at the crooked picture with a prominent tear down the middle hanging on the wall. That was such a fun night, he thought. Remembering how he ran to Chongyun at the port when he saw that annoyingly pretty, blonde traveler talking to him. Chongyun was so cute, saying that he wanted to come too, but Xingqiu told him that only two people were allowed at a time. It wasn’t true, but why did he say that? He eyed the traveler up and down, his long and beautiful hair braided so elegantly, his crop cut shirt that exposed soft skin. It made him irritated that he thought he could come. But seeing the tear in the middle, perhaps…he should’ve let them go together. Maybe then Chongyun would’ve confessed to him instead. Maybe he would’ve said yes, and instead of Chongyun lying here wallowing in pain, it would’ve been himself. Alone in his room, without a friend, without love…

“Chongyun, I wish I was born into your family.”

Chongyun laid back down, pulling the blanket up to his chest. “Yeah. Then we’d be together without me falling in love with you.”

Xingqiu blushed, his fingers wrapping around his ankles nervously. “No,” he bit, a little aggravated. “Because your family loves you for who you are. Not what you can do for them…” Chongyun peeked at the boy at the end of his bed from over the covers. “They…encourage you to be yourself. Even if they don’t understand. But my dad…he’d disown me for loving another man…but I— I’ve missed you so much.” Xingqiu wiped at his eyes, the tears proving difficult to hold back. “I laid in bed every night thinking about you. Thinking about what we’d be doing at that moment if I hadn’t been an ass.” The boy sniffed. “Maybe we’d be at our usual hangout spot, looking at the stars. Maybe we’d be at the pond fishing. Maybe we’d be exploring somewhere outside of the harbor. Maybe you’d have been there laying with me, holding me and kissing me and loving me.”

Chongyun sat up once more and listened as Xingqiu spoke. “Maybe,” Xingqiu continued. “I wouldn’t wander the harbor alone and sad because you’d be with me. You make me happy, you make me feel pretty, you give my boring, redundant life meaning.”

“Xingqiu,” Chongyun reached forward to cup the boy’s cheek.

“No!” Xingqiu swatted his hand away. “I don’t care what my dad says! It’s my life, not his!” Xingqiu grabbed Chongyun’s hand and cradled it between both of his. He looked Chongyun in the eyes, tears streaming down his reddened face. “Be my boyfriend!!”

It was more of a demand than a question. There was hardly a demand of his that Chongyun denied, but he still feared that he was going to say no. “Okay,” he said plainly with a wide, goofy grin.

Xingqiu wailed, jumping into Chongyun’s arms. He sobbed into the shirt, wiping his snot into the boy’s chest. “Don’t leave me again! I’ll kill you!”

Chongyun snuggled up to his boyfriend and giggled. “You’re the boss,” he smiled.

[astralaffairs]

How do you think Phillip would handle an anxiety attack/depressive episode? As someone with depression, I experience these a lot and having someone there with me is nice

hey honey!! i empathize w u 100% — I've struggled w/ depression for years. that said, i kinda struggled w this, since having ppl with me when i go thru depressive episodes can be difficult for me, so i'm super sorry if this doesn't 100% reflect your experiences!!! as much as ik where you're coming from, i think my own perspective n experiences kinda colored how this turned out (also it got v long n self indulgent oops)

-----

"Hey, princess, you around?" Your eyes widened at the words, echoing down the hall of your apartment from your living room. "Y/N?"

You didn't respond at first, weren't sure what to say. You liked hearing the sound of his voice; it was a comfort in itself, but you also weren't sure whether you wanted him to find you in your room, still in bed in your pajamas, your now-empty bag of Fritos perched on the pillow beside you. You almost regretted giving him a key. You were exhausted — it was no secret for anyone who caught a glance of your half-lidded stare, the bags under your eyes. You were propped up against a pillow at the headboard, but you were still slouched over into your bent knees, curled into yourself.

You could see that he'd flipped the kitchen light on, its furthest reaches flooding the hall toward your bedroom. You wondered whether that'd mask the light coming from your room.

Your phone lit up beside you, but you couldn't see what the message you'd received actually said. It was instead filed under the notification, 'Pip 🥺💞: 7 unread messages.'

You reached over to put your phone on your bedside table, but when you did, your bed creaked loudly. You winced at the noise. Apparently, it also catalyzed the footsteps that'd stalled in your front room to kick back into action, now headed in your direction.

"Baby?" His voice was laced with concern, now. "You back here?"

When he reached your room, he raised an eyebrow, knocked lightly on the doorframe, and you sighed. "Hey, is everything okay? Can I come in?"

You didn't respond immediately, hesitant to speak for fear of him hearing the apathy that you knew had taken root deep in your voice. Eventually, after a long moment of apprehensive silence, you said, "Yeah. Yeah, of course you can."

How quiet, tired your words sounded only heightened the worry in his knit brow. His actions were tentative as he approached you. Your body was tense as he took a seat at the foot of your bed. "What're you doing in bed? It's almost 6 PM."

"What, I'm not allowed to be in bed in my own apartment?" Your voice was unnecessarily combative, and his eyebrows shot up at the sudden hostility.

"I didn't say that. Of course you are," he replied, and how gentle his tone was had you immediately struck with a pang of guilt. "But your laptop's off, and I know you've been silencing your phone. I just mean... genuinely, what have you been doing in here?"

You shrugged halfheartedly, not meeting his eyes. "I dunno. It's my day off; I don't have to be productive all the time, Philip." Again, when you spoke, it was accusatory, and Philip pursed his lips.

"Did I do something? Are you angry with me?"

Being branded as 'angry' usually would've multiplied your frustration tenfold — no, you weren't angry, but he'd showed up at your apartment unannounced and proceeded to question your lazy evening in; didn't you at least have a right to be annoyed? — but his searching gaze looked so troubled when it met yours that you couldn't bring yourself to be. Ultimately, you shook your head.

"No, you didn't. I just..." When you trailed off, you'd intended to finish the sentence, but you realized you didn't have a decent explanation to offer him. He sighed.

"Something's wrong. Talk to me; c'mon." You didn't say anything, and he scooted across your mattress to sit beside you, discarding your empty, crinkled snack bag to the floor. "Y/N?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," you murmured, and though you offered him a tired smile, he frowned.

"Hey, no you're not." When he reached for your hand, you flinched, more due to instinct born of the tension in your bloodstream than to any real intention. Nonetheless, it took him aback. He was about to pull away, but when you relaxed, he laced his fingers tentatively into yours. You didn't rebuke him. "Y'know I'm here for you, right?"

The smile you managed to contrive at that was, in your opinion, more convincing than your previous one. "I know, baby. I love you. But really, I'm doing alright. I've just been tired today; I wanted to come take a nap. Sorry if I'm being grumpy."

You thought your words would've assuaged his concerns; they had with everyone who'd heard them before. However, Philip let out a heavy breath, shaking his head. "Please, don't bullshit me. I know you too well for that."

Your light laugh in response felt like an adequate supplement, and you squeezed his hand. "Relax. I'm not bullshitting, okay?"

You held firm on your smile as he eyed you warily, and when he leaned over to kiss you, you relished in the touch, eyes fluttering shut as his nose skimmed your skin. He didn't pull all the way away, though, resting his forehead against yours.

His lips met your cheek, and against your skin, he whispered, "Stop hiding. I love you, and you're only worrying me more."

He took your chin in his free hand as he pulled just inches away, watching carefully when your eyes widened. "C'mon, what makes you think—?"

"I know you." He cut you off firmly, the words leaving little room for protest or contradiction. You didn't like how exposed you felt. "And I can tell that something's seriously wrong."

A moment passed in silence; your eyes darted across his expression, searching for any degree of uncertainty, but he was set fully in his convictions. You bit your lip. "Okay," you finally said, voice tiny. "I... I'm sorry, Philip."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I just want you to be honest with me." He reached up to smooth his hand over your hair, it eventually coming to rest at the nape of your neck. You nodded.

"I know." You ran your thumb over his knuckles, staring down at where your hands were interlinked. "But... I don't know what to tell you. Nothing happened, and there's nothing you can fix."

"Then what isn't okay?" he asked. "What can you talk to me about? What's weighing on you?"

How earnest his voice was only left you frustrated, sitting beside him with no answer to give. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm what's been ruining my day."

"What d'you mean?"

You huffed, tried to pull your hand away as you turned your head, struggling to articulate anything. You felt stupid; you knew whatever would come out of your mouth would sound stupid. But he didn't let your hand go, and you found yourself easing back toward his body.

"This whole day has just... it's been so fucking hard. And I haven't even done anything. I'm still in bed, for god's sake; I've been useless." Your own words made your skin crawl. You sounded so whiny; why couldn't you form a thought without coming off as pathetic?

"It's your day off, right? Why should you be productive?" he echoed your own words back to you with a kind smile, and your involuntary resentment eased in the slightest.

"Thanks, Pip. But..." You swallowed. "I'm so tired. Everything I try to do feels so exhausting. The reason my laptop's still off is because trying to find something to watch was just... making me feel worse."

He nodded. "I'm sorry." You were momentarily disappointed when he released your hand, but that same arm then snaked around your waist, and he paused, not yet trying to pull you into him. "This okay?"

How gently, how tenderly he was treating you your fatigued gaze slowly softening. "Yeah." You shut your eyes when he held you close, leaning you into his body. He was so warm, and he was so good to you. "Love you," you murmured.

"I love you, too." The small, weak smile you gave was all but imperceptible when he kissed the top of your head. "So, what d'you think's going on, then? Are you getting sick? Do I need to take you to the doctor? Pick up some antibiotics?"

The concern in his eyes had returned when you glanced up to him once more, and you pursed your lips. "No, no, it's not... I don't need the doctor, or any ibuprofen, or whatever," you murmured, and your tone sounded more hopeless than you realized. You'd burrowed your face into Philip's side, by then, and you couldn't see it when he pursed his lips. The despair in his eyes was heavier than you'd have guessed.

"Alright, princess," he said quietly. When a beat passed, you thought he was going to leave it at that, but his voice was apprehensive when he continued. "Is there... something else you know that has you so spent?"

The noise of discontent you let out into his t-shirt was almost a groan. You weren't overly pleased with his hitting the mark, but after a long pause, you gave a small, weak nod. "Yeah," you whispered. "But it isn't something you can fix."

He didn't hesitate, then, to pull you into his lap, though the action caught you by surprise. Both his hands were holding you to him by the waist; you shifted in his grasp, turning to rest against his chest, your arms looped around his neck. "Then it's a good thing you aren't broken." You lifted your head from his chest, turning it to look up at him curiously, and one of his hands left your waist, instead coming to cup your cheek. "My sister's been dealing with depression for most of her life. I get that I'll never know what it's like, but if you're willing to talk to me, trust me when I say I won't take it lightly."

His thumb sweeped across your cheekbone as you stared up at him in surprise. He furrowed his eyebrows. "What's up? Was my assumption off-base?

At that, you let out a huff, surprised but no longer bitter. "No. You're just too perceptive for your own good sometimes; you know that?" you murmured, and he laughed. You could feel it reverberate in his chest against your body.

"Not too perceptive for your own good, though, apparently." He raised an eyebrow at you, expectant, and you rolled your eyes. When you didn't respond, he continued, "How come you never told me?"

"I don't know." You sniffed. "Depression's just so fucking stupid. Like, sorry, your brain chemicals are fucked up, so you're going to spend the next week rotting in bed. What kind of deal is that?"

The droll annoyance in your words made him smile. Anything was better than the apathy. "Really, princess, who comes up with this stuff?" he replied, mirth laced into his tone as he plastered on a look of annoyance. You cracked a small smile.

"I dunno, but I'd like to have a talk with them sometime. Give 'em a piece of my mind."

He laughed, absentmindedly rubbing circles into your lower back. "You should. Stick it to the man." The way he nodded decisively made you purse your lips, small smile threatening to widen into a watery grin. "But until then, is there anything I can do for you right now? What have you done today?"

You let out a heavy sigh against his body, with that, once again fully present in your wreck of a bedroom. "I showered, and I ate a family-size bag of chips."

"Hey, so you got out of bed." He nudged you with his shoulder, wearing an encouraging smile. "That's something, right?"

"Mmhmm. And then I got right back into bed," you huffed.

"Alright. What have you eaten today? Anything?"

You raised an eyebrow. "We just covered this. Family-sized bag of chips."

"That's not exactly a meal, baby," he said, and his furrowed brow made you scowl. "Hey, I don't mean to downplay that; I'm really glad you ate. I just wanna know if I can get you anything else."

You shrugged. "I'm not hungry."

"Is there any food that you'd eat right now if you had it in front of you?"

There was a pause; you didn't move, gaze blank as you considered it, but again, you shrugged. "I dunno. Chocolate sounds nice. But I don't need anything."

"You need to eat."

"That's so unhealthy," you said quietly. Just your single day's worth of poor eating habits had you feeling beyond lousy about your body; you had no desire to see a mirror until at least the next day.

"What's unhealthy is letting yourself starve, princess." You rested the side of your head against his chest once more, having no desire to meet his eyes. You didn't want his stare to be judgmental.

"'M not starving," you mumbled, and one of his hands rose to the back of your head, holding you close as you leaned into him.

"I'm not accusing you of anything," he whispered, and his thumb brushed across the skin of your neck. "Relax. I love you. I can go and get you anything you want to eat."

"No, no, don't leave. Don't leave me," you murmured, and your hold on him tightened. "Just stay with me. Please. I'll deal with everything I've been neglecting in the morning."

He sighed. "Baby, you know I want to, but I'm worried about you. Someone's gotta take care of you if you aren't gonna take care of yourself."

"Later." You looked up at him, and he could see your distress in your gaze. "I promise, Philip. I'm just so tired. Just wanna stay in bed. Want you here with me."

"Okay." He kissed your forehead. "Okay, I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

"I promise, princess."

[liliesoftherain]

hiii 💕 if u r interested could u do 52 and 58 prompts (can i kiss u smth like that and are you flirting with me?) it could be about y/n having a crush on bakugo (he likes her too) but she flirts way too much on him (in front of everyone at the dorms) in the weirdest moments (middle of class, 1a watching a movie, eating lunch) but ends in fluff IM SO SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH TO ASK if u don’t like it i can write another one 😊

A/N: This had me so happy, you have no idea. Thanks for the idea, and you better give me more :b 

Title: Who said pickup lines don’t work?

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

52. “Can I kiss you right now?”58.  “Are you flirting with me?”

Katsuki Bakugou!:

You were constantly getting away with embarrassing him, there were way too many times to count as it was practically a daily occurrence. You were always doing it in the most public places, like in the classroom:

“I’m lost.”

Bakugou looked up to see you hovering over his desk, a confused look on your face as you held your notebook. It was study hall, and Aizawa was fast asleep, leaving people to their own devices. He was originally studying by himself, until you came over to bother him that is.

“Dumbass, why do I care.” He huffed, hoping his face wasn’t spotting a blush as he saw you pout.

“Because you’re the only one who can help me.”

“Tch. Whatever.” He looked back down at his desk as you set your notebook down in front of him, pointing to a-

A picture?

“What?”

“Like I said, I’m lost. Can you draw me the directions to your heart?” 

You pointed at your drawing, in the middle of it it said ‘Your Heart’ in very fancy lettering. 

Bakugou knew that this time his face definitely was heating up as you gave him a big flirty grin. The snickers and coos from his classmates only embarrassed him further as he ripped the page out and exploded it in his palms. 

“I’M NOT GIVING YOU DIRECTIONS TO SHIT, YOU LOSER!”

All you did was sigh and shrug your shoulders, giving him a wink as you grabbed your book in hopes he wouldn’t burn that too.

“Maybe next time, firecracker~”

“SHUT UP!”

Or even during lunch for the entire cafeteria to hear if they were listening. He knew that most likely no one cared, but it didn’t help it when you did something so grand it felt like all eyes were on him.

“Oh Katsuki!” You yelled from across the table, voice so loud that even Bakugou wanted to cringe back from it.

“What do you want now.”

“So, in front of all these witnesses,” You pointed to the lunch table and the rest of the people in the cafeteria, “I need you to do something.”

“No.”

“But you have to! Listen, you’re smart so I need you to answer this okay?” You fluttered your eyes, and Bakugou felt his resolve cracking. You always knew how to get him to do whatever the hell you wanted, he was sick of it.

“What.”

Mina, Kaminari, and Sero started to snicker as you dramatically stood on the table. They must have known about your stupid plan, those assholes.

“SO EVERYONE IS A WITNESS- KISS ME IF I’M WRONG BUT, DINOSAURS STILL EXIST RIGHT?” 

Plenty of eyes found their way over towards the commotion, and Katsuki felt his temper flare. Feeling mortified as you blew a kiss towards him and began to walk closer from atop the tables. 

“STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!” He got up and sped away, hoping the red on his cheekbones wouldn’t become permanent. He wanted your lips nowhere near his, or so he told himself.

Even times where it was just you two, you never left him alone.

“I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” You questioned, looking up from the pot of water you set on the stove to boil.

Katsuki, who was cutting some vegetables looked up with a brow raised.

“No?”

“Well then, would you please start. I like hearing your voice.” You smiled while grabbing the noodles.

“NO!” Katsuki snapped his head away from you, putting more force into his cutting than necessary.

“No fair, your voice is too pretty to be kept quiet. Talk to me.”

“S-shut up already! I’ll fucking kick your ass if you keep it up!”

“Could I kick yours back if you do?~”

“LIKE YOU COULD! DON’T TOUCH MY ASS!”

There were times where you weren’t even trying, yet you still somehow managed to get to him. This time in particular is when he couldn’t hold back any longer, and that was the first time you were flustered by him.

It was right after school ended, everyone was exhausted by Aizawa’s intense training at the end of class. Everyone had made their way to get changed out of their uniforms when Bakugou had saw you lingering behind. You looked tired and worn down, having a rough session with Shinsou earlier. Katsuki was annoyed the entire time you were fighting, not because he thought you couldn’t handle yourself, but because you seemed distracted and were taking more hits than you should have been. 

Without even realizing it himself, he stopped to bend down, pretending to tie his shoes as he waited for you to catch up. Once you were by his side you looked down at him with a frown, what the hell was this?

You were always smiling at him.

“What the hell is up with you?” He huffed, standing to his full height.

“I’m just.. Tired, sorry.” You shrugged, bringing an arm to rub the side of your neck, looking away.

Katsuki just stared on in worry, although if anyone told him he was worried he would blast them into oblivion, because Katsuki Bkaugou was never worried.

“Tch, then get more sleep. You can’t keep getting your ass handed to you like that. Got it?”

You smiled, or well you tried to. It was small and didn’t seem to be real, and Bakugou felt a bit hurt cerep into his chest. He looked away as quickly as he could, hoping you didn’t notice the upset look in his eyes.

You hadn’t been pestering him lately and he was growing annoyed. You weren’t being yourself, and he had this nagging feeling he didn’t understand tugging on his heart. 

Picking up the pace to get away from you, he didn’t think you’d try to so hard to catch up to him.

“Bakugou-ooh!” During the match, Shinso had delivered a hard blow on your left knee, and now that you were rushing to keep up with your crush, your body wasn’t ready for the pressure. Along with the blow, and still being so tired from your match, you moved quicker than your body wanted and your knee gave out.

Katsuki quickly turned to see you tumble forwards, so he stuck out his arms to catch you before you fell face first onto the floor. You stumbled a bit more, but his tight hold on you held you up, allowing you to steady yourself in his arms. They were wrapped around your waist, holding on just enough to not be painful. You could feel his chest underneath your palms as they pressed against him, and you couldn’t help the slight blush at the thought of how strong it was. He looked far too handsome right now, and your gaze was stuck on him.

 His beating heart quickened as you looked up at him, your eyes were blown open wide and sparkling from the setting sun that was filtering through the large windows. It caused his breath to hitch as your lips parted open in awe, a light blush across your own cheeks. 

“Oh Katsuki.. I think I’m falling for you.”

Normally he’d fight you, push you away and yell at you for being ridiculous as always, but right now you were too beautiful to look away from. You smiled up at him, and it wasn't the same flirty smile you always teased him with.

No, this was a genuine smile that he’s never seen before and he couldn’t help but look at your lips.

He knew what that feeling had to be, he missed you. Your flirts, your presence, but most importantly;

That’s the smile he’s been missing all day long.

He couldn’t help it, the urge to speak was too strong and so he just followed through.

“I’ll sweep you off your feet for the rest of my life if you keep looking at me, just like this.” 

Your mouth dropped open, red roses blooming across your cheeks as your breath caught in your throat. He was just looking at you so intensely, like if he was absolutely lovestruck. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stuttered.

“W-what? I-I.. huh? Are you flirting with me?” This seemed to snap him out of his own daze, because his cheeks then matched yours as he backed away from you. Hands crossed over his chest as he yelled at you.

“W-WHAT!? YOU NERD, I DIDN’T SAY SHIT! YOU’RE HEARING THINGS! GO AWAY ALREADY.”

“But you said-”

“I DIDN’T.”

“Did you mean it?”

“I DID!”

“Really?” You bite your lip, happiness coursing through your body at the sight of his flushing face.

He eyes screwed shut while letting out a sharp breath, opening them slowly but keeping his gaze on the ground.

“I.. I did. I.. I fucking like you okay?”

“I like you too Katsuki, really really!”

“I hope so, otherwise I’d kick your ass for leading me on with those terrible liners.” He clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue, uncrossing his arms to shove them into his pocket instead. 

You just giggled, closing in on him to wrap him into a hug. He went ridgid, not sure what to do, but calmed down as he heard your voice.

“They’re only for you, no one compares to you.”

“Damn straight.”

“Oh, hey.. Can I kiss you right now?”

“Damn straight.”

Later that night, back in the dorms, you were sitting on the couch, with your now boyfriend, when your phone buzzed. Pulling it up you saw a text from Kirishima.

“What does he want?” Katsuki huffed, receiving a text from the boy as well.

You opened the message and couldn’t help but smirk.

“Looks like he had a present for us, damn there must be something wrong with my eyes ‘cause I can’t keep them off of you in this picture. Who knew you could look this cute.”

Katsuki slammed his phone on the couch, jumping off while screaming out into the dorms.

“SHITTY HAIR!”

You only looked back to the picture, your heart squeezing happily as you did. It was from earlier, he must’ve been spying. It was after Katsuki hugged you right after your kiss, and while you couldn’t see his face at that moment, you could see it in this picture clearly.

You swore to yourself you’ll see it in person one day, the smile on his face was the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

[carolmaximoffs]

helping hand

summary: bucky lets sam cut his hair. he thinks it might shut sam up for once. (it doesn’t).

pairings: platonic! sambucky (unless u wanna read into things...i won’t be mad ab it)

warnings: swearing, bucky barnes and his cat, brief talk of nightmares/PTSD, sam wilson deserves a hug and every possible heroism medal the U.S. offers

a/n: this is my (short) entry for @rogvewitch’s 1K challenge! my prompt was “It’s really human of you to listen to all my bullshit” from Sixteen Candles. i hope i did it justice! i intended to make it longer but i like it where it is so i hope a drabble is alright. also, the bit about steve cutting bucky’s hair during the war is an idea from a fic i read a long time ago and can’t find for the life of me but it rlly stuck w me. 

“SO YOU’LL PUT THIRTY MINUTES into shaving with a straight razor passed down to you by George Washington, but you can’t be bothered with a damn haircut?”

If he wasn’t such a highly trained former-assassin and soldier, Bucky might’ve driven his razor straight into his cheek. Instead, he makes eye contact with Sam in the mirror. Apparently, half a face of shaving cream takes away from his menacing glare, because Sam steps fully into the bathroom. Bucky wills every muscle in his body not to flinch as Sam reaches to fiddle with a chestnut lock, tugging it teasingly.

“C’mon, man. Let Uncle Sam do you right,” Sam teases, quickly grimacing as he realizes the possible implication there. Bucky snorts, resuming shaving.

“I could cut it if I wanted to. And just because you’re Cap now doesn’t mean you can call yourself Uncle Sam,” Bucky retorts. Sam has been making comments about Bucky’s hair for years now - it was easy to brush them off. He watches Sam’s reflection scrunch his nose up, before suddenly the razor is snatched from his hands. “Hey-”

“No,” Sam says. Without further ado, he grips Bucky by the shoulders and all but shoves him into their shared kitchen. They both know Bucky could easily slip from his grasp, but he’s satisfied with quiet grumbling as Sam shoves him into a chair. The other man disappears, returning with scissors, clippers, and a towel that he dramatically drapes around Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky stares wordlessly at his faint reflection in the kitchen window. A much younger man, from an entirely different lifetime, stares back; in a Howling Commando’s camp somewhere, Steve stands behind him, soft hands brushing hair off Bucky’s neck. Sam’s hands are a little more calloused, but he seems much more comfortable with the task as he separates Bucky’s hair into sections.

One thing Bucky’s noticed about Sam, since the moment he met him, is that Sam is a people person. Which means he talks, about anything and everything, all the time. He’s always got a response; whether it be a teasing remark or a sarcastic quip, there’s always an answer with Sam, even if you don’t give him one in return. He’ll talk for you. In fact, he’s doing it for Bucky as he trims his hair. Bucky doesn’t really listen; he’s never really listened to Sam, if he’s being honest. One thing makes his ears prick up, though.

“...since he died. Never felt the same wearing the wings after that. I think it’s part of the reason I accepted the Cap’s job. Get rid of the wings, distance myself from the memories. I mean, Cap is high pressure, but any ‘hero’ job is, right? I did what I had to, as Falcon, but it still felt...a little wrong. Had to remind myself that he’d want me to keep using ‘em, keep saving the damn world.”

Sam laughs, a little self depreciating, a little nervous. Bucky can’t find it in him to respond, blinking dumbly as his brain tries to process the information. Sam keeps going, plugging the clippers in and settling a steady hand on Bucky’s jaw. Bucky’s a little startled by how natural the whole thing feels - how much he trusts Sam in this moment. He tilts Bucky’s head one way, then the other, talking all the while. “I mean, we knew it was risky. Hell, I wanted it because it was risky. And afterwards, it took me so damn long to process it...hardest part of being a counselor though is taking your own advice. Stay still, just one more thing. And yeah, I know it’s probably something I shouldn’t dwell on-”

Sam is walking away now, still yelling over his shoulder. “-but it pops up in a dream here and there, and I just can’t shake it, you know?”

He comes back with a dustpan, a broom, and Alpine on his heels. The snow-white cat swats at both Bucky’s hair and the broom as Sam sweeps the clippings up. Alpine mewls in distaste as Sam dumps the clippings into the trash, settling instead to hop into Bucky’s lap. Bucky clears his throat, eyes trained on the contrast of his prosthetic fingers against Alpine’s fur.

“I, uh, used to get nightmares a lot too. ‘Bout what I did, or being brainwashed. But since Wakanda, I...it’s a lot about falling. Not necessarily the memory but I...I feel like I’m falling. from the train. From anywhere, I guess”

Sam is tense; he’s out of Bucky’s line of sight, but the latter is hyper-aware of the other man’s presence. Bucky’s words hang in the air between them for a stomach-churning moment. Sam begins to sputter in the rare way he does when he is at a loss for words.

“You...you actually listened to what I said?” He asks, rounding the island. He’s fiddling with his phone, but his eyes are focused on Bucky. Bucky shrugs, face burning, still scratching at Alpine’s ears. He can only bring himself to look up when Sam laughs - actually full belly laughs, like anything that had been said in the past 10 minutes was funny. Sam slides his phone, open to the camera app, across the counter to Bucky. He’s still chuckling, gap-toothed grin on display. “It’s really human of you to listen to all my bullshit.”

“Bite me, Wilson,” Bucky snarls, not even hearing Sam’s faux-flirty reply. An irritated growl dies in his throat when he lifts the cell phone. Bucky stares at an image much clearer than his window-reflection. The face staring back is strikingly familiar, but a stranger all the same, in the way that an old friend might be. His free hand leaves Alpine (much to the cat’s dismay) to slowly drag over the tufts of hair still left on top. Sam has cropped his sides short, though not fully buzzed them. Bucky swallows thickly, suddenly overwhelmed with an emotion he can’t identify. Apparently, he’s quiet too long, because Sam speaks up.

“Do you like it?” Sam asks. His voice yields no inflections of insecurity, but when Bucky looks at him, he’s rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.

“I...yeah,” Bucky replies, surprised to find his voice hoarse. He clears his throat, brows furrowed. “Thank you, Sam.”

“I’m sorry, can you say that again?” Comes the smug reply, and Bucky practically throws Sam’s phone at the man. He walks out of the room, Alpine tucked against his chest and middle finger raised high. Sam’s laughter rings through the apartment, but even Wilson has the decency to pretend he doesn’t see Bucky appreciatively running his hands through his hair during movie night later that week.

[broken-clover]

AU-gust Day 8- Superpowers/Superheroes

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So apparently when I say ‘these are very long, maybe I should make them less long next time’ it apparently means ‘WRITE NEARLY 5000 WORDS AND SUFFER’ I’m having. A day. Not a bad one just. A Day. This more or less feels like a pilot episode for something honestly.

Please do not ask why I keep writing Sin because there is no answer.

Ky had left him in charge of the scanner. Again.

And Sin knew why he had done it, why he always left him sitting in the high-backed chair perched in front of an array of high-tech computers while he and his friends leapt into action. It wasn’t because Sin was any kind of tech genius. It was because it was the best way of keeping him out of the way.

They didn’t even pretend like it was a real task in need of doing. Sol had already rigged the scanner so that it would send notifications to the entire team as soon as it picked up anything suitably peculiar. Ky’s excuse was that they needed him to watch it and make sure the scanner didn’t malfunction, but it never did. It was just a good way to keep him from running around while Ky couldn’t keep an eye on him.

Well, he could have brought him along, but whenever he suggested, Ky just had to get all uppity about it, and say in so many words that he didn’t want his precious baby boy going on dangerous missions, except he’d say it in a way that made him sound completely reasonable and rational, even though he was a teenager now and he was tired of spending time in front of the monitors and doing nothing but sitting on his ass like a useless idiot.

He shifted to prop his chin up on his other arm. The scanner did another rotation around Illyria, but no notification popped up, just like the last thousand or so times. Ugh, he’d been here for hours, when were they going to come back? The distress call had come from the complete opposite side of town, but considering that half of them could fly, and Ky himself could turn into a goddamn lightning bolt, they were awfully slow. So much for ‘just a quick mission’ like he had promised.

Groaning, Sin abandoned the chair and left it to spin behind him. He left the completely empty computer room to head into the equally-empty kitchen, hoping to find something to munch on. In between Sol’s beer bottles, Testament’s vegan snacks and Chipp’s leftover Japanese takeout, there was a plastic-domed pastry box. His excited smile melted off as soon as he pulled it out and peered inside.

“Thank you for keeping our city safe!” Said the fancy frosting letters. Yeah, he knew where it was from. The local orphanage had sent it after Ky and his friends had stopped Judgement from blowing up half the city last week. Because they were a bunch of good-samaritan do-gooders so compassionate and helpful that they got fucking cake from orphans.

He still cut a big piece from it before shoving the thing back into the fridge. Hey, cake was cake. Plus, he could get a kick out of ruining the letters and part of the bright yellow smiley-face under it.

At least being stuck at the base meant nobody raised a stink over him sitting on the meeting table. Sin was careful not to leave any shoe tracks on it, though, after Ky had chewed him out for it the last time. Personally, he thought having a white table was stupid in the first place, but that was the design Ky liked. It was the same reason they had the big sweeping ceilings, elaborate carvings along the walls, and a special designated chair for each of their official members, individualized by their names and insignias (Because his dad really was that fucking cliche)

In between bites of cake, he toed at the fancy lightning bolt carved into Ky’s chair, with ’Thunderseal’ written out above it. Sin remembered when he used to chase his father around the house, pretending to be him with a construction-paper mask and towel cape. He had utterly idolized Thunderseal, and dreamed that someday he would be able to take up the mantle when he became a real hero. It wasn’t a dream he clung onto anymore. Just the shadow of being his son was big enough.

Sin tried to take his mind off things by pulling out his phone. Maybe May would be up for a chat.

‘Anything going on w/ u?’

May always had her phone on her, so it didn’t take long before his pinged with a message. ’Just finished a job! Hbu?’

‘Send pics?’ Just his luck he got her while she was out working. At least maybe he could get a few cool pictures out of it.

Just like last time, it barely took a minute before she responded back with a pile of photos. All of them had May smiling with her teammates in uniform, along with a very irritated-looking (and very wet) tied-up criminal. He’d hoped that the pictures would have cheered him up, but all it did was annoy him further. She was younger and smaller than him by a lot, but she was allowed to go out on dangerous jobs.

Mer-May, the absolute darling of the Jellyfish team of superheroes. Even though they weren’t from Illyria, he still saw stories and photos about them in the paper. They looked like a real team. They probably took all their team members out on missions, and when they didn’t, he bet they had a much better reason than needing someone to watch the scanners.

’Great job! :D’ he messaged back with stiff, trembling fingers, before an errant current made his screen crackle and explode in a burnt cloud.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Why did that always happen when he got frustrated, this was his twelfth phone in the last year! Like he needed one more thing to be annoyed about.

Sin was sick and tired of being inside. He abandoned his half-eaten cake at the table and headed for the entrance, swiping his jacket and a spare mask on the way out.

++++++

Nobody gave him much of a second look as he slid along the wires twenty feet off the ground. Anybody who even noticed the crackle of electricity in the first place regarded him with complete nonchalance. Superpowered individuals had become a lot more commonplace, especially with the formation of publicly-known groups like the Jellyfish and the Guardians of Illyria. It was practically a celebrity subculture. Just a fixture of daily life. People with powers no longer had much of a reason to hide anymore.

In his absentmindedness, he nearly fell off-balance and slipped from the wire he was on. He wondered if Ky ever did that on the job. He might’ve been the team’s shiny poster-boy, but he wasn’t as perfect as everyone always acted like he was. It didn’t stop the newspapers and nighttime TV reports from painting him as some flawless guardian angel. Even when he was little, they were always talking about Ky.’s exploits, how he made Illyria a safe place. For the longest time, all that praise had convinced him his father could do no wrong.

Sin remembered the times when he would hold his father’s hand as they skated across the powerlines, helping him keep his balance. Sin always kept his eyes peeled for trouble, and whenever they spotted a kitten stuck in a tree or someone struggling with groceries, Ky would let him take charge to ‘save’ the civilian in need. He used to love the slightly-exaggerated smiles from grateful people and congratulatory pats on the head from his father, but it all felt so infuriatingly patronizing now. He didn’t want to be stuck helping old ladies cross the street while his father and his friends fought the real villains and saved the day. It never felt like he was helping anyone in the long run, he was just doing errands for people and nothing more than that.

He skidded to a stop on an electronic billboard, slid down the maintenance ladder, and found a place to sit. From his jacket pocket, he pulled out a tiny battered book and pen.

‘Sin the Superhero!’ was scrawled across the front in faded, childlike handwriting. He skipped past the scribbled-over and torn pages in the front half, all practically carbon-copies of Ky, until he reached the more complicated doodles and neater handwriting.

‘Hero Name Ideas.’ The list had gotten longer recently, but still none of them seemed to fit him right. He scratched off a couple of older ideas and jot down ‘Livewire’ and ‘Sparx’ at the bottom. Mmm, no, when he wrote them down on paper, that didn’t seem right, either.

“Ughh, why is this so hard!?” Sin groaned to himself, closing the book and smacking himself in the face with it. He wasn’t going to be Thunderseal. No matter what, he was not going to be Thunderseal.

He’d thought of skipping town and joining the Jellyfish, but May’s manager Johnny said that they only accepted female members. There were a few others scattered across the country, like the ones down in Kagutsuchi, Remnant, and Inaba, but they seemed so different from what he was used to, Sin wasn’t sure he’d fit in even if they let him join.

He spotted a convenience store half a block down. Maybe he just needed a snack to help him think. He hadn’t gotten to finish his cake, after all.

Sin slid back up onto the powerline and followed the sidewalk until he found a wall generator to jump into near ground-level. The light burst that followed him when he landed startled an older woman as she headed back to her car, but otherwise nobody paid attention.

The convenience store was awfully quiet for the afternoon, but all it meant was that he could scour the aisles for something to eat. They didn’t have anything meaty, so he settled for red licorice. It almost looked like meat.

“Would you like a bag?” The cashier asked, with the usual feigned-cheer that minimum wage barely afforded.

“Nah, I’m just gonna eat it now.” He replied, digging for a few spare bills in his back pocket.

When he found the money and went to turn back around, he spotted an ominous smear of crimson in his peripheral vision. Out through the front windows, a peculiar-looking girl was stumbling across the parking lot barefoot, stained in what appeared to be blood.

“The hell…?” Sin murmured. He realized he still had money in his hand. “Oh. Shit, uh, keep the change!” All but throwing the money at the poor woman, he grabbed his licorice and bolted out the door, taking a moment to swing his head around to find that girl again before running after her. “Hey! Hold on a second!”

Maybe he was too loud, because she immediately flinched and threw up her arms to cover her head. “I-I’m sorry!”

“You’re...what?” He skidded to a stop right in front of her. Yeah, that was definitely blood. The girl didn’t seem to be in a good condition, if the stumbling hadn’t already given it away. All the bloodstains appeared to be coming from the numerous wounds on her body, mixed together with a handful of ugly violet bruises. “Man, you look in bad shape. Did you get attacked?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” With her arms still covering her, she crouched down and began trembling.

Sin’s features softened. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He crouched down next to her, trying his best to sound harmless. “Okay? Not gonna hurt you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Y-you aren’t?” A single diamond-blue eye peeked between trembling fingers.

“No, I’m not. Are you in danger? Do you need someone to keep you safe?”

She gave him a slow, jerky nod. “Ok! I can do that. My house is really safe, my dad’s a superhero so you don't have to worry about people getting in unless you want them to! Why don’t we go there, and then I can get you some bandaids?”

Another little nod. “Sounds like a plan, then!” He took her hand, helped her back up, and turned in the direction of where he’d come from. “It’s over this way, so we can-”

“No!! No, no, we can’t!” She suddenly shrieked, trying to pull herself from his grip.

“Woah, woah!” Sin let her go in his shock. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t go! I can’t go!” She cried, tugging at her pale pink hair with both hands. “I can’t leave without my sister!”

“Your sister? Where is she?”

Her expression grew haunted. “Oh...oh no...I left her behind...I promised we wouldn’t be separated…”

Sin tried to quell the growing feeling of excitement unfurling in him. Yes, this girl was clearly in need of help. He was finally doing his first real job as a hero, without Ky getting in the way! And he’d found it all by himself! But he needed to keep serious.

“Don’t worry. We’ll get your sister.” He gave the girl a confident grin. “Can you show me where she is?”

Another nod. “Uh-huh. I can show you.”

“Think you can show me from the rooftops? It’ll be faster that way.” She didn’t pull away again when he started leading her towards the generator he had jumped out of.

“Huh? There’s no ladder, how would you- aaaah!”

Sin scooped her up before taking off up the wires to the roof. “I’m a hero, too! I can follow electric currents! So if you can point me in the direction of- oh.”

The sudden movement had apparently freaked her out, and both of her trembling arms were tightly wrapped around him for stability.

“Oops. Um, sorry about that. I forget the vertigo is really bad the first few times.” He tried giving her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “But I promise I won’t drop you, okay? I just need you to show me what direction you came from.”

It took her a moment to unbury herself from her place in his jacket, but she reached out to point towards the heart of Illyria. “That way. It's by the big building with a cow on the roof.”

His grin came back as Sin felt the sparks fly off his feet. “Say no more!”

++++++

Sin had never been to this part of town before, on the ground or otherwise. It seemed like a perfectly nice neighborhood, but for some reason, there was just something that felt...off.

He tried not to worry about it. “Hey, so you didn’t tell me your name. I’m Sin! What should I call you?”

The girl in his arms seemed to have finally gotten used to the harsh movements, only wincing when the harsh wind blew the hair in her eyes. “E-Elphelt.” She said. “My name is Elphelt.”

Weird name, but he didn’t say anything. Even if he wanted to, he was interrupted by her pointing him left. “R-right there! The big white building!”

“This one?” He asked, sliding up onto the roof of what he could only guess was a large warehouse. A few trucks were parked out in front, but he didn’t see any people, nor were any lights on inside. “Are you sure this is it?”

“Mmhm!” She nodded vigorously, though the fear had come back into her eyes. “Please! I can’t leave her behind!”

We’re gonna save your sister, don’t worry.” Sin put her down on the roof next to him, and began searching for some kind of way in. “How did you get out?”

She walked towards one of the building’s edges and peered down. “Stairs! There’s emergency stairs by the windows!”

“Stairs?” He headed off after her. Sure enough, a set of metal stairs snaked down the building’s side. “We can get in through one of those windows!”

The two of them ran down a few flights, only stopping when Elphelt pointed one out. “This one! I think it’s this one!”

“This one?” Sin repeated back. He crouched down to get a good look at it. “I don’t think it’s latched; it should probably just slide open from the bottom.”

“Okay, then let’s-”

“Wait-” He grabbed her hand a half-second before she could slide the window open. “There’s an alarm. It’ll trigger if you pull it open.”

Elphelt recoiled immediately. “How can you tell?”

“I told you I can ride currents, right? I can sense them, too.” He put a hand on the wall next to the window. “Feels like there’s a whole security system set up and wired to the same main hub.” Elphelt was tearing up again in the corner of his eye, and he raised his free hand to assure her. “Don’t worry. Each window has its own sensor alarm. If I can just overload it…”

Sin pressed his eyes shut and willed a bolt of electricity into existence. He slid it between his hands a few times before feeding it into the sensor. After a moment, he felt the current split off between the window and the rest of the system as the wires melted and the plastic exploded.

“Okay, just hold your breath…” He put his hands on the sill. In one motion, he jerked it open and...no alarm.

“Phew…” Elphelt shook her head in momentary relief, before tensing up again. “We have to hurry! We have to hurry!”

She squeezed herself inside before he could even think of doing it himself. Once she had gotten inside, he wormed in after her. “Yeah, of course. But why do we have to hurry? I don’t think anyone’s here.”

The building was as dark inside as it had looked outside. The room they had been dumped into had a high ceiling and a concrete floor, but was nearly empty aside from some storage crates. At least, they looked like storage crates, he couldn’t really tell. From another pocket, he pulled out a rechargeable flashlight, funneled a bit of electricity into it, and switched it on. A narrow slice of light cut through the empty room.

It fell on Elphelt’s horrified face. “El? What’s wrong?”

“We have to hurry.” She spoke in a trembling whisper. “We have to hurry before mother comes home.”

He wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but it seemed important to her. “Okay. We’ll go quickly. What room is your sister in? Can you show me?”

The hallway was slightly lighter, but no less empty. Had everyone gone home already? Then again, he had no idea what this building was for in the first place, maybe there never were people at all. He couldn’t see any security cameras on the ceilings, but even if they were there, he doubted they would be able to see much.

He followed Elphelt down a couple sets of stairs. They both kept their backs pressed to the wall, their footsteps light, and their guard up. Sin glanced over his shoulder every few seconds to be absolutely sure they weren’t being followed.

At one point, Elphelt stopped and held a hand out to him. “I think this is it.”

Compared to the rest of the building, he could sense a veritable feast of electricity coursing back and forth beyond the door they were staring at. It seemed logical that if she was anywhere, it would be in there.

The new room was a stark difference in just how blindingly white it was. Sin had to blink and cover his eyes for a minute while he convinced himself that he was not actually going blind. Elphelt seemed unconcerned with the sudden change, and walked deeper in without him.

“Elphelt! Wait!” He hissed, blinking to clear his vision. The blurry edges eventually smoothed out and sharpened. “Woah…”

Just from a wild guess, it had to be some kind of laboratory. All the glass, fancy equipment, and desks looked like something from the sci-fi shows Sol liked to watch. What kind of science exactly, he had no idea. But it didn’t matter. He had to help Elphelt. Where had she gone to?

“El?” He called out, still trying to keep himself from being too loud. It was a bright white room and she had bright pink hair, how could he not find her in two seconds?

Sin felt his stomach growl as he began to search. Absentmindedly, he pulled out his abandoned licorice and peeled a strand off to eat it. “El?”

He thought he had spotted a flash of pink, but when he approached it, he found a strange pile of pink mush in a large clear dish. He didn’t have the slightest idea of what it was, but it unnerved him. Sin put down his licorice on the tabletop and reached for a glass rod that had been left near it.

What did he think would happen if he prodded it? That was another question he couldn’t answer. It made an odd, gooey noise as the tip sank into its surface. It had looked solid, but the more he pushed into it, the more the glass vanished, even when he thought it would have gone all the way through and come out the other end.

“Sin!”

“Elphelt?” He looked up from his impromptu experiment. Why had he let himself get distracted? Sin pulled the stick back out and set it on the table, and reached for his-

“Where’d I put my licorice…?”

“Sin! Please!”

“Coming, El!” That was more important. He ran off towards her voice. The tables gave way to what he could only describe as giant stove burners built into the ground. “Where are you?”

“Over here!” He saw a hand in the air and headed towards it. It was actually Elphelt that time, instead of some weird arm-monster, thankfully.

“There you are. Jeez, you’re fast-” His eyes went wide.

There was...a girl, suspended in some sort of glassy prison. It hovered over one of the weird floor-burner things, spinning around and around as the room’s lights glinted off it. The girl inside didn’t seem especially bothered by the spinning, or the fact that the ball was barely big enough for her to fit inside. If he didn’t know any better, she looked completely unconscious.

“What the hell?” He looked at his companion. “El, is this her? Is this your sister?”

“Ram…” She said, more to the other girl than to him. Her eyes had gone wet with tears again.

There was an electrical current running under the burner. Without thinking, Sin shoved his hand into it and discharged a bolt of electricity.

He was pretty sure he felt the fluid splattering on his face before he even heard the glass break. The overload of energy had not only shut off whatever the burner was doing, but forced the ball to shatter. He heard Elphelt dive to the ground behind him. Any of the glass that exploded onto him was melted by the heat of his lightning. The smell of ozone and the backlash from overusing his powers was making him dizzy, but Sin tried to focus on what was around him.

Once the chaos had died down, Elphelt crawled back out from the table she’d hidden behind. “Sin?”

“El.” He sent her a dopey, tired smile. “I got it.”

“Ram!!” The girl hurried back over to kneel down by the unconscious body. A few glass shards had nicked their skin, but there was nothing especially worrying. Elphelt seemed to be far more concerned with Ram than she was about her own injuries, anyway. She scooped up the other girl and held her close, placing a hand on her chest as she began murmuring something incomprehensible. Sin watched a faint pink glow envelop her hand and flow into the other’s body.

“Elphelt?” He asked in quiet awe. “You have powers?”

Whatever she was trying to do, it seemed to have worked. As soon as the glow faded, Ram began to rouse.

“Mhh...Elphelt?”

“Ram!” El hugged her sister tightly as her shoulder began trembling. “Oh, you’re awake, you’re awake. I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”

“Elphelt…” She put a hand on her sister’s back and smiled gently. “I’m okay.”

“Th-this is Sin!” When she regained some of her composure, Elphelt pointed at him. “He helped me save you!”

“Yeah. But El, you said we had to hurry, right? We should leave.”

“Oh! We need to leave fast, you’re right.” Elphelt stood back up, but she appeared remarkably calm. In fact, she was smiling. “But we can go even faster with Ram!”

The girl nodded in silent agreement. She looped a hand around her sister’s waist, before beckoning Sin over.

“Faster?” He was confused, but he complied, stepping closer so Ram could grab him by the middle. “I’m not sure what you me-EEEEEAN- !”

The question was answered for him very quickly. His feet were off the ground before he could blink. Ram was shooting off towards the nearest wall, and he had absolutely no way of stopping her.

“Are you insane?!” They were going to fly headfirst into a metal wall! Sin absolutely couldn’t handle hitting something that solid that fast, but he didn’t have any electricity left to try and shock her into dropping him. All he could do was watch.

There was a horrific crunch, and everything went black.

And then blue, as they passed through to the other side without a scratch.

Sin hadn’t realized he was screaming in terror until he stopped. He saw a massive gaping hole in the metal when he turned to look back, but he couldn’t see a single scratch on him, or his questionably-deranged pilot.

“It’s okay, Sin!” Elphelt called. “Ram’s really strong!”

‘Strong’ didn’t seem like a very good explanation on how they hadn’t just smashed their collective heads open, but really, after everything he had been through, it seemed stupid to ask questions.

++++++

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU RAN OFF??”

Sin winced, pulling the receiver away from his ear. “I know, I know, dad, I messed up-”

“MESSED UP??” Ky’s voice shouted back. “You ran off without telling anyone! I thought you had been kidnapped!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He said. “But I promise I can explain everything. I need a ride back, do you think you can come pick me up over by Bishop Bakery? The place over at the corner of Hansen and 15th?”

“All the way out there?! Sin, what are you doing in the north district in the first place?”

“Uh, that’s a bit of a long story…” He turned to look at his two new companions. Elphelt kicked her bare feet under the bench as she watched the cars go by, and Ramlethal was sitting cross-legged and bobbing her head back and forth to a song coming out of a nearby radio. “A really long story. Why don’t I tell you all about it over leftover cake?”

++++++

A dark shadow slid along sterile white walls, pacing back and forth and back. Immaculately manicured nails drummed against a pale sleeve, the only giveaway against a perfect porcelain mask of calmness.

“So they both ran away…” A melodic voice echoed off the high walls. “I never would have expected such ingenuity from her.”

The room went quiet for a moment. “Still, nothing I can’t handle. A few steps to shuffle around, but in the end, those girls saved me quite a lot of effort. Brought back to the Guardians on a silver platter! What a stroke of luck.”

She paused. “Oh? The boy? Just another pawn, easy enough to handle. His powers are little more than parlor tricks. I’ll have no trouble disposing of him as soon as he becomes a nuisance."

Another pause. Slowly, the porcelain mask began to crack. “Is that so?

In the blink of an eye, she lashed out to grab one of the trailing tubes. It was squeezed in a white-knuckled grip until the flow was dammed. “Now, you aren’t getting all high and mighty on me, are you?” She asked in a sickly-sweet voice, putting the smiling mask back on. “Don’t forget who gave you all of your shiny new toys. If it weren’t for me, you would still be rotting away in that hospital bed, where nobody could hear you.”

She took a moment longer to grab onto the clear plastic, then let it go. “I’m glad you’ve decided to cooperate. I helped you for a reason, you know. I saw the potential you had...Ah, I ramble so much.” She shook her head. “I’ll leave you to your work. And don’t forget to get plenty of rest. We have so much work to do, and so little time…”

The shadow moved away, melting into all the others with the sound of clicking heels. Once it was far, far away, the faint hum of magic sounded. From another pool of darkness, a half-eaten package of red licorice floated into the faint light. A single braid was pulled out of it, and invisible fingers peeled a stand off to carry it into an awaiting mouth. Artificial strawberry, what a peculiar flavor.

“So…” A silent voice echoed in the darkness. “...Sin?”

[calamitousrpgarchive]

Take your seats folks for the S H O W is about to begin, let the Circus E N T E R T A I N you one and all...

The lanterns suddenly dim, the inside of the Big Top darkens, the only visible light streams in from the centre and barely allows sight of the person either side of the next; even those with enhanced vision struggle to determine what’s in the D A R K N E S S around them. Only driven to attention by the beams that swarm the middle; music roars to life, a mechanical twist of cogs that scratch together like an out of time clock...

It begins. Comes in gentle flushes as magnificent silks erupt from the back entrance, manipulates the shape of a D R A G O N with such magical realism it could be mistaken for R E A L and it moves with such grace, obscured figures beneath the covers of the excessive false manifestation, travels the length of the small arena, breaks the fourth walls to flurry along the pathway between ringside and the first row grandstands. 

A B A N G erupts, a single figure appears, a striped cane between clasped hands as the man stands in dead silence. Almost statue-like to the audience who watch with curious eyes to what is to come. A top hat, tipped downwards, head bowed under it; face hidden by clothing; a ringmaster that commands the room - despite the way he stands dead still. There’s a hum of voices whispering; wondering aloud if this is the man responsible for it all; Khaos in the F L E S H, but it’s quiet, bar the movements of the silk dancers that distract watchful eyes; strange shocks to peripheries. 

And the figure doesn’t move. 

From the rear of the ringmaster, a stream of bodies emerge, extravagant feathered tails; peacocks waving ribbons; they dance - match the calm pace of the dragon that amounts a growing number of hungry eyes. High above, a clatter of metal snaps every head upwards, trapeze artists thrown from bars as the business of the room intensifies. 

Though nothing B E Y O N D what hasn’t been done before, no?

The show remains like that, hold for a few more beats - present, a lion; a typical act that puts its handler close to headless; it’s truly just that; a  C I R C U S.

And the audience begin to grow restless - the immortals hungry for blood; for the promised performances that dragged them there; it becomes obvious in the room too...

The first person stands to leave - and like a trigger, the voice snaps to attention; comes from the centre of the ring:

K H A O S

Am I not E N T E R T A I N I N G you? Is my Circus not to your liking; too M U N D A N E for you to E N J O Y? Pity. 

You can’t say I really didn’t T R Y to be a good host to you all; that I wasn’t K I N D to provide my services. Let me introduce the T R U E awaited K H A O S shall I? 

Thank me later, 

If you’re still alive, of course...

It’s instant. The snap of broken chains; the S C R E A M that tears through the Big Top like a banshee freshly released from a cage; though this is pained; A G O N I S E D in its manner. Something heavy drops from the roof of the Big Top; a body H A N G S almost still. An unrecognisable face is choking on their own blood, iron clasped around their throat, a wish wash of rusted chains tight on the individual; unbreakable. The sight is ghastly, the body mauled by harsh claws, the only indication that under the mass of dried crimson is something alive is the way the spasms of muscle fight to breathe beneath the weight of chains that bind them there.

And for those with impeccable vision and know their ranks; the vampires K N O W that there hangs their O V E R L O R D; strung up for all to see by the circus as thought that is an event. it’s delayed, the hiss of questioning; the way the body writhes to escape the clutches of metal. Khaos isn’t done:

Still here? Why, thank you - have I finally gained your undivided attention? Does the OVERLORD have such an affect on you; don’t they look pretty now? 

The panic is late, the dragon that’s been dancing circles around the ringside ignites; a demon’s fire sparking it to life, catches those in the first row of Grandstand Two and the Ringside - now it truly looks alive; an impossible beast marked to carry death. There’s more screaming. Where Demon Fire lights up the wooden slats of the seating, the ones scorched by flames shriek and howl; cave under burnt wood. 

There’s a S I C K E N I N G sound of bones crunching from above, the trapeze artists suddenly replaced by grotesque creatures; demons in their true forms and human bound skin sheds and drops down below; heavy thumps of guts splattering to the ground to leave mutilated piles; a stench that’s foul comes with it.

The head of the ringmaster jerks upwards, a mask where features should be; pale like a ghost, holeless and with the impression that KHAOS cannot see; that beneath the darkness of the metal cast face there is no potential to witness his own oncoming K A R N A G E. 

Because that comes in the form of something resembling G U N F I R E, certainly sounds similar, the peacock dancers throwing spherical cannisters into the audience; paired with E X P LO S I O N S that shake the room; small metal shards pepper unsuspecting guests and that panic that’s been withheld..

Kicks in...

Everyone grapples to their feet; a free for all of sirvivors that haven’t been singed, bulleted or reduced to ash... some in pieces; limbless and crawling along grasslands... stepped on by careless immortals; stamped on by even less sympathetic monsters...

F I N A L L Y, Khaos adds, The S H O W has begun; I promised you K H A O S... 

HERE IT IS.

The dragon; now fully resembling a magical entity sits below the strung Overlord, coaxes a real awful scream for their voicebox as flames engulf the body, reduce the choking to a gargle untill nothing but a blackened and withered form remains; a S A C R I F I C E to the Circus...

And everyone in the Ringside seating can’t escape it fast enough; a wave of heat expels from the form with enough force to send all off their feet and stumbling to recompose their senses; those still alive; unharmed fighting to get to the exit. 

But it’s gone; the walls of the tent proven impossible to break - knives, guns evaporating on its touch and where the magic binding everyone in the room distracts them, still dodging Khaos’ showman who have intent to make them the G R A N D  D I S P L A Y, begin to crowd and just as a few guests direct their attention to the ringmaster himself.

He vanishes in smoke; that darkness sweeping the room in a flash and suddenly; the harshness of rough wild magic scratches claws at the skin of all within; and when lights return to the chaotic mass of moving bodies... they are no longer in a recognisable big top...

It’s a M A Z E; tracks underneath them, steel and stone walls haphazard and staggering the mass into smaller, unplanned groups that must dare to E S C A P E the new route they’ve been contained in; or at least, T R A P P E D and forced to navigate a dark pit. Khaos’ voice thrums one final twisted introduction:

Welcome to the G H O S T  M A Z E, last one to the exit is M I N E. 

Run quickly sweet creatures, for I like to keep my promises and I want you to see all the R E A L things within these walls that you’ll never have seen before...

Try not to die now will you...

                                     Easier said than done...

                                                            Because I want to look you in the eyes first...

Within the M A Z E 

it is built from nightmares; pulled from vivid thoughts of those confined within its walls and made  R E A L by imagination. The deepest, darkest monstrosities that creature fear lives inside as G H O S T S of the maze, haunting the thick stone and striking pain into those who manifested them. Accompanied by T R A P S that are designed for the strongest of immortals, there’s a sudden need to work as a team; as a unit with the ones who would deem to be unlikely allies

For if you’re left alone with your fears... driven to insanity by them and S T U C K in a loop that your mind can’t free itself from.. well then you better hope you die before Khaos catches you...

NOTE: This is the main conclusion of the Circus De La Khaos event, the final part of 3.5 comes to close the event done, but until then, your characters must survive their darkest of nightmare; face their demons and stare them in the eye whilst they attempt to navigate through a concrete maze with both allies and foe...

Are you going to try risk it alone, leave old enemies behind? Find an unlikely companion? You choose. This part of the event will conclude Monday 3rd August, Midnight. 

Keep in mind, if your character was seated in a detrimental hit zone; they might be nursing some serious injuries too... that’s without ordinary enemies playing fatal parts...

Good luck Crooked Souls...

                                                  Dare I say...

                                                                                 You might need it...

[somefinelipstickonthatpig]

rated: t

fandom: Tales of Symphonia

prompt: “Coughing Up Blood” + Lloyd

requested by: @happykawaiicinnamonroll

OKAY LITERALLY thank u so much Happy u gave me like the literal best prompt paired with my FAVORITE CHARACTER EVER and i just wanna say thank u and bless u and ilu and i hope u enjoy. i had PARTICULAR fun writing this 

if u like what u see and want to request ur own angst fic, hmu!! the ones unmarked are still available <3

o - o - o

Apnea [Read on AO3]

Lloyd’s voice is raspy, warped around something in his airway. He holds up a hand; he straightens up. With a slow, deep inhale, he makes a good show of a single large breath, but it’s thin and stoppered, as if there’s a cork in that red-lipped bottleneck of his and he can’t manage to pry it free.

“S’oka--”

Then he coughs.

And it’s a hacking thing.

o - o - o

When Zelos had first raised an eyebrow at the creepy-ass lingering spirit of a four-armed swordsman, Lloyd had shrugged, grinned, and said, “Well, we’ve fought him before in an underground mine shaft. And now we have you! So no biggie! This’ll be a sinch. We’ll be out of here and at the Temple of Earth in no time.” 

Zelos watches as Lloyd’s back crunches against the wide trunk of a tree and he wonders if any part of a “sinch” was supposed to be reassuring when their asses are being handed to them.

“This is your definition of easy?!” Zelos shouts across the clearing, half to make sure Lloyd is okay enough to respond and half to actually get a legitimate answer.

Lloyd stumbles forward, nearly tripping over the thick, sprawling roots. “Uh…in my defense, this wasn’t…” A strangely blank look passes over Lloyd’s face: pale and wane, before his nose scrunches like he tastes something bad. “This is harder than I remember.”

“Grand Cross!”

The forest floor lights up.

Curling white encircles the skeletal swordsman. Swords-thing? Swords-bones? Zelos isn’t sure. He’s never seen anything like it before. Not that he needs proof besides looking at the thing to know it, but when it screams in pain, it definitely isn’t human. When it crashes to the ground, sprawling out on its vertebrae, the entire Gaoracchia Forest shakes.

Once it’s standing, Genis sweeps in with an Air Thrust.

Raine shouts to Lloyd, “Lloyd! Now!”

Zelos gets a funny feeling in his gut--he’s not sure why--as he watches Lloyd nod and break into a jogging run towards the Sword Dancer. Raine charges a Photon and launches it time with Lloyd’s spinning Tempest.

As it fades, the skeleton is happy at its defeat.

Genis and Raine and Lloyd get caught up in a conversation about the spirit and what it’s doing and how they should get rid of it, considering that before it disappeared, the spirit had promised a “next time.” 

Lloyd, as always, vows that he’ll get stronger which Zelos finds ironic considering he looks like he’s one wrong wind away from falling over. The fight must’ve done a bigger number than he thought. Lloyd’s voice comes out wobbly, like there’s a frog in his throat.

When Zelos meets eyes with Colette, he knows he’s not imagining things.

“We should keep moving,” Sheena says. Her gaze darts around the shadows of the thick underbrush. The long line of her shoulders is rigid. “This isn’t a safe place to rest.” 

“Right.” Lloyd nods. He clears his throat. 

He takes one step before the red of his shirt stretching across his shoulder blades pinches with a flinch, or maybe it’s a jerk. It’s not so much a sound as the motion that’s alarming.

Genis and Colette are at his side in an instant.

“Lloyd, you okay?” Genis’ eyes are wide, head tilted in that funny way he does when he’s trying to get a good look at his best friend’s face.

Colette puts a hand on his arm. Then, she thinks better of it and reaches into her bag. “Here--”

“--h-hang on.”

Lloyd’s voice is raspy, warped around something in his airway. He holds up a hand; he straightens up. With a slow, deep inhale, he makes a good show of a single large breath, but it’s thin and stoppered, as if there’s a cork in that red-lipped bottleneck of his and he can’t manage to pry it free. 

“S’oka--” 

Then he coughs.

And it’s a hacking thing. 

His body bows forward. A hand jerks up to his mouth. His other hand flutters to his knee and it would seem odd, it would seem strange, but Zelos’ body seems to recognize what will happen to Lloyd’s and why before his mind does. There’s a thin, shaking inhale from a torso that decidedly does not move and Lloyd drops. 

Zelos shoots forward. 

He manages to loop his arms under Lloyd’s and bring him back against his chest as his boots kick forward against dead leaves and twigs.

“It’s okay,” Zelos breathes, quiet enough for only Lloyd’s ears to hear as he coughs again. And again. And again. “Hey. Breathe. I’ve got you, idiot.”

Zelos sinks to the forest floor with him.

“Lloyd!” 

Colette and Genis fall to their knees on either side. Zelos doesn’t quite get their frenzied panic until he realizes there’s something wet and syrupy dripping along his forearm, trailing down his sleeve draped across the front of Lloyd’s chest. 

Oh.

Oh.

Zelos pulls back to peer over Lloyd’s shaking shoulder. From ear to cheek, Zelos can see only pallid skin and glazed brown eyes. Blood drips from his open, uncharacteristically slack mouth. Zelos can feel under his arm the hiccuping spasms of sputtering lungs within his chest as they try and fail over and over again to do their one job.

“MOVE!”

On instinct, Genis rolls back as Raine fills his place and cups Lloyd’s cheek in her hand. She doesn’t hesitate when blood speckles her wrist. Her other hand glows golden-white as it passes over his front. Her face is pinched tight, focused, as under her breath, she mutters incantation after incantation. 

At last, finally, when Zelos feels like his legs are falling asleep on either side of Lloyd’s from the awkward positioning, Raine pulls away and Lloyd shudders.

Genis and Colette are at his shoulders, now. Zelos is fairly certain they have nearly forgotten he’s there, even if he deserves a thanks or two for being the only thing keeping their childhood friend upright.

“W-wow,” Lloyd rasps. His chest rises and falls quickly with hungry breaths. “Thanks.”

Raine’s staff crashes hard against Lloyd’s temple.

Zelos leans back as far as he can.

Lloyd yelps and grasps for his head with bloodied gloves.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were injured?!” she cries. “I could have healed you in the fight before making you do that Photon Tempest.”

“I didn’t…I didn’t think it was that--!”  

“You didn’t think, huh? Oh, that’s hardly surprising.”

Zelos tries to stuff his chuckle before it breaks free but fails. 

When Colette reaches forward and takes both Lloyd’s shoulders in her hands, there’s something earnest and pained in the blue of her eyes as she searches Lloyd’s. Then she says, “Don’t ‘it’s okay’ it next time.”

Lloyd stares at her. 

Colette’s face flushes. Her fingers tighten in the red of his shirt sleeves.

Zelos thinks he must miss something in their wordless conversation, because when Lloyd finally sighs, Colette does, too. 

“Yeah,” Lloyd whispers. “Okay.”

[luccislegs]

Lol I'm glad to be of help! I'm looking forward to the requests you get published. You probably don't write for Law, so I should ask for Zoro in that case. Could I please have a scenario for Zoro with a reader who's a brilliant actor/imitator but they're v shy? They want to be helpful aboard the ship and have a big crush on him, but they end up getting flustered whenever he come near. If I can add, a significant height difference would be cute lol.

sorry it took me so long to answer this lol i was hella partying this weekend and i’m pretty sure there’s still alcohol in me even a week later

anyway, my first ask! also thank you again for letting me know my asks were turned off, you rock!

–

A sigh escaped your lips for what seemed like the hundredth time that day as you watched Zoro train down on the main deck. You, on the other hand, were hidden away in Nami’s tangerine grove, scribbling away at a new musical composition piece. Or you were supposed to be, anyway. It seemed like every few seconds your concentration was stolen by the aforementioned swordsman.

“Hey, _____! Whatcha doin’?” Luffy shouted from behind you. You had been in the middle of writing and he scared you so badly that now there was a large score down the page. Some of it was ripped now as well, ruining the work.

You sighed, staring forlornly at the destroyed paper. It had taken you ages to finally work up the motivation to write, and just like that it had gone wrong. You turned to look at your captain, saying, “Nothing, Luffy. Just writing some new music.”

“Huh,” he said, staring down at the sheet music. “It looked like you were staring at Zoro more, _____.” A large, mischievous grin spread across his face as he locked eyes with the other man, who turned an even brighter shade of red than he already was.

You missed the exchange entirely as your eyes were locked on your paper in horror. Could he have said it any louder? Embarrassment and fear flooded through you and you barely glanced up at Zoro, just enough to gauge his reaction to Luffy’s words, but he wasn’t looking at you. In fact, he was no where to be seen anymore.

It was a few hours later when you finally felt the courage to show your face on deck again. You had initially decided that you were just going to hide out in your room for a few days, but you had managed a complete rough draft of your composition and wanted Brook to play it out, so you could hear what needed to be fixed.

Plus, you were starving.

The sounds of the others filtered out of the kitchen, typical in that you could hear Luffy and Usopp above all the others, but it was comforting because it was familiar.

The door creaked open and a chorus of greetings to you filled the room, and you flushed slightly. Waving back, you sat down in an open seat, and your eyes made a sweep of the room, looking for familiar green.

“Zoro isn’t here,” Luffy said around a huge mouthful of meat. He struggled to swallow it for a moment; you could see the way his throat expanded to accommodate what was surely too much food. “He’s sleeping in the crow’s nest.”

Your cheeks really turned red at that, and you couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes, but you heard the tell-tale sounds of Nami knocking him upside the head.

He whined and rubbed the back of his head, frowning at her. “What was that for? She was looking for him, right? She likes him, so I figured I’d tell her!”

“Luffy, you idiot,” Nami said with a huff. She looked like she was going to hit him  again, her fist raised in a threatening manner. “You aren’t supposed to point it out. They need to figure it out for themselves.”

“Well, they’re taking too long!” he whined, holding his hands up to defend himself. He looked around at you then. “_____, why don’t you just tell him?”

You couldn’t help but give him an incredulous look as you sputtered out half-formed excuses. Finally, you took a deep breath and calmed yourself, managing to say through grit teeth, “It isn’t that easy, Luffy. I’m not sure he feels the same.”

“You should just ask him then!” He was so naive it would be cute, if it wasn’t so embarrassing.You rolled your eyes as Nami continued to yell, with Sanji joining in after a moment. Things settled down after that, returning to normal levels of noise which, with your crew, were still extremely loud.

“Does anyone know where Brook is?” you asked when everyone was finished eating. “I want him to play this new piece for me.”

“I think he was talking about practicing on deck,” Robin piped up. She had been so quiet all night you had forgotten she was there, but as soon as she spoke, Sanji was swooning.

That signaled you that it was time to book it– whenever he got like that, you knew it was only a matter of time before he took turns around the room.

The cool air and quiet were a welcome relief from the stifling noisiness of the kitchen. Off towards the front of the boat came the faint sounds of guitar. Brook was just starting out on the instrument, and so the music wasn’t as smooth as it was when he played the violin or the piano. But he seemed to be picking it up quickly and, if he kept it up, it would give you yet another instrument to write music for in no time.

“Hello, _____. What can I do for you?” Brook’s voice broke through your stupor.

You hadn’t even realized you had made it to him, and you gave him an embarrassed smile. “I have a new piece I was hoping you would play for me. I’m sure there are kinks. But it’s for the violin this time.”

You put the paper into his expectant hand and waited as he scanned over it, bouncing back and forth on your feet.

“This will sound marvelous when it’s done, _____!” he said at last. “I’m going to get my violin right now so you can finish it up as soon as possible!”

You flushed at his praise. Although he said that about all of your work, it was still nice to hear. Sometimes you wondered what the point of you being on the boat was, and having that little bit of reassurance was nice. Besides, most of the music Brook was playing here lately were pieces you had created.

Footsteps sounded behind you, but they lacked the usual creaking that accompanied Brook when he walked. You nearly had a heart attack when you turned to look and found Zoro standing behind you. You could feel the heat flood your cheeks, and prayed it was dark enough that he couldn’t see. On the other hand, he was fully displayed in the moonlight and you could see that he was as red as you likely were.

“Uh, hey,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Could we talk?”

Your heart, which had already been beating harder than was normal just by being in his presence, almost exploded in your chest. You could feel it thundering away behind your ribs so hard you felt a little lightheaded for a moment.

“U-Um…sure?” you said, and cursed yourself for being so shy. It was hard enough having a crush on someone, let alone someone like him, but the whole thing was compounded by the fact that you could barely talk to him like a normal person.

“Sorry about earlier. Luffy can be a bit a of an idiot,” he said. He smirked a little when he heard you giggle.

You had to steel yourself for your next words, because you weren’t sure if you were bringing up something that you didn’t really need to, but you couldn’t keep a lid on it without feeling uncomfortable. “I’m sorry about…about earlier. I hope I-I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

His posture changed, you could see tension come into his shoulders and for a moment you thought it had backfired. But his next words made you feel like you would burst into flames.

“That’s okay. I wasn’t getting much training done anyway. Someone was up in the tangerines distracting me.” He wasn’t looking at you, and his hand was fidgeting with the swords attached to his hips.

You were a fool if you thought you couldn’t turn any more red. You would swear that you were going to be permanently stained, Sanji could use you as a tomato in his next meal. “W-Well…um…”

Words were escaping you, and it was just a relief that he didn’t find you weird because of Luffy.

“Brook is coming back,” Zoro said suddenly, shifting to look over his shoulder. You couldn’t hear anything, but trusted his word. “The next island is coming up in a few days. Do you want to go into town with me?”

You giggled again, giddy at the fact that Zoro had just asked you on a date, and nodded. “Yes, I’d like that.”

He smiled and lifted his hand, setting it on your head gently. Then it was sliding off and he was walking away, just as Brook came back into view.

“Alright, let’s see what we’ve got, _____. _____?”

–

this was unbelievably harder than i had initially thought it would be. i had to change the actor/imitator detail bc i absolutely could not figure out a way to incorporate that into any of the ideas i had, at least not without it getting severely out of hand, so I hope that wasn’t an extremely important detail. if it is, just let me know and i can whip something else up, but it’ll probably be way more involved and stupid long.

on the other hand, i do hope you like this!

[rareficsnstuff]

Please Don’t Be Afraid [Bokuto/Yachi]

Summary: Bokuto just wants a friend but Yachi is seriously freaked around big people. But owl boy’s much more perceptive than people think and he decides to take matters into his own hands. Literally.

Words: 2,860 

_______________________________________________________

“Here you go, Tsukishima,” Yachi said, handing the boy a newly filled water bottle.

“Thanks,” he replied tersely. The team had just finished (and lost) yet another practice match at the summer training camp and braved another penalty lap around the gym. It was Karasuno’s final match of the day and they took the opportunity to observe the last two teams finishing up theirs. Nekoma and Fukurodani had finished as well.

“Tsuki!” Bokuto’s loud voice suddenly sounded behind Yachi, making her jump. The tall blond turned reluctantly.

“You’re gonna jump some blocks for us again, right?” Bokuto asked.

“I’ll pass, thank you,” Tsukishima replied bluntly.

“Oh, come on! Don’t be that way, Tsuki!”  Bokuto was standing very close beside Yachi – she supposed her was just the sort of person who was so comfortable in social settings that he was partially unaware of personal space and boundaries – and each time he spoke she couldn’t help the jump caused by his loud, abrupt voice.

“Fine. Just shut up already,” said Tsukishima before turning to leave.

“Hey, little bit, does that guy ever enjoy himself?” Bokuto asked suddenly. Yachi stiffened, her eyes shifting to him tentatively.

“W-what?!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know your name. I’m Bokuto Koutarou!” he declared brightly.

“U-um, I’m Y-Yachi… Hitoka!” she said, her voice a little higher and more panicked than she would have liked.

“Nice to meet you!” Yachi only nodded in reply, still hesitant to meet his eyes.

“W-well, um, he’s, he’s always very aloof and withdrawn from the rest of the team. The, uh, the only one he really seems to get along with is Y-Yamaguchi. Uh, h-he, um… he works hard but doesn’t seem very… passionate like, um, like the others,” Yachi explained uneasily.

Under Bokuto’s intense golden stare, the girl became more and more tense. She could feel herself getting warmer and heard her heart beating in her ears. His eyes seemed to burn holes into her head. She couldn’t help it. Big, people had always intimidated her and Bokuto was certainly in that category. His volume and bold personality didn’t help matters either. He was very close.

“Huh... Well, later Yacchan!” he declared as he went to rejoin his team.

Yachi let herself breath again and she was soon approached by Kageyama who asked her to help him with his solo practice.

____________________________________________________

Bokuto and Akaashi were heading back to their team’s sleeping quarters after their blocking/spiking practice with Kuroo and Tsukishima, chatting lightly.

“So, I was talking to Karasuno’s little bitty manager and she said Tsuki’s super cut off and board with the team. Like he’s just playing volleyball to kill time or something,” Bokuto explained a bit irritably.

“Well, that could very well be the case. Not everyone’s passionate about the things they’re involved in. Or maybe he just feels like there’s no point improving,” mused Akaashi.

“HOW!? That doesn’t make any sense! He’s gotta be playing for a reason! Maybe he just hasn’t found it yet…” They walked in silence for a moment before Bokuto spoke up again.

“Also, I think the little bitty Karasuno manager is afraid of me.”

“What makes you think that?” asked Akaashi.

“When we were talking, she was really stiff and she wouldn’t look at me. She kept stuttering. I don’t even think she was breathing.”

“She wouldn’t have been able to talk if she wasn’t breathing.”

“I just mean she was really tense!”

“She doesn’t know you. Your personality can be overwhelming to people who’ve just met you. Give her a chance to get used to you.”

“I don’t like that I scare her. She seems nice,” Bokuto muttered, pouting a little.

Another pause.

“By the way, Bokuto, where’s your jacket?” Akaashi asked.

Bokuto took a couple seconds to blink vacantly before realization appeared on his face.

“Ah! I left it in the main gym! You go on, I’ll go get it!” said Bokuto before turning to bolt in the other direction. Akaashi watched him go until he was out of sight. Sighing at his Captain’s airhead tendencies, he continued on.

_____________________________________________________

When he arrived at the main gym, Bokuto found it empty save for Yachi. It looked as though she was busy sweeping up before she left. He felt a twinge of excitement over having an opportunity to talk to her a little more and hopefully help her to not be afraid of him.

“Hi!” he announced simply, making her jump. A squeak escaped her and she turned quickly to him.

“Oh! Uh, h-hello!” she said. “Um, d-did you need something?”

“Nah, I just came back for my jacket. I left it here earlier,” he explained.

“O-oh! There was a jacket on the floor so I-I put it on that chair,” Yachi said, pointing to a folding chair set up against the wall behind her.

“Awesome! Thanks so much, Yacchan!” Just as he retrieved his jacked and put it on, Yachi finished sweeping and began to put the broom away. Bokuto watched her, thinking to himself.

“Can I ask you something, Yacchan?” he said as she came out of the supply closet hurriedly.

She stopped, looking cautiously at him before nodding slowly.

“Are you afraid of me?” Yachi’s eyes widened a bit and she looked away.

“You are! How come?!” he asked, practically whining in disappointment and looking like a kicked puppy. Yachi turned to him bowing quickly in apology.

“I-I’m so sorry! Please excuse me!” she said in a tremulous voice. The girl began running past Bokuto and out the door but he reacted on instinct and stopped her before she could leave.

“Wait! Please!” he had stepped in-between her and the door.

“Please don’t be afraid of me! I wanna be friends if we can, yeah?” he pleaded.

Yachi’s face was downcast and one hand gripped the bicep of her other arm as she shuffled nervously. When Bokuto received no response he stooped his head to an angle where he could see her face properly. Her eyes flickered up bashfully to meet his golden stare.

“Please,” he tried.

“Uh, I-I…” she broke eye contact again, stammering before she fell silent.

“Aww come on,” he said with his lip in a pout. “I’m not scary, I promise. Here look, I’ll show you.” At this, Bokuto held out his huge hands to her, palms up. “Give me your hands,” he said softly. She looked up at him, glancing between his face and his hands. Warily, she moved her hands to place them on top of his and, staring at the floor, she could feel his eyes on her. Bokuto gazed at her warmly, a soft smile on his lips because of this small accomplishment.

“See?” he prompted. Yachi gave a small nod.

It was an odd thing to do in an attempt to gain the trust of a frightened baby bird, but he couldn’t think of anything else. And honestly, Bokuto, being the simple creature that he was, saw nothing odd about it. To him, this was the purest, most simple form of bonding one could express.

“So… what is it you find so scary about me anyway?” he asked when she seemed to breathe again. There was a short silence before she answered as she built up courage to speak. Bokuto waited patiently.

“I… I’m very small.” Bokuto cocked his head to the side – looking quite like an owl – his brows furrowing as he tried to understand.

“I’m not used to being around really big people… and you have a very loud voice,” she said honestly in a small voice, still looking at the ground.

Bokuto stared at her, a little stunned at her response. When the full weight of her words hit him, he couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face. His eyes crinkled and he chuckled. Yachi looked up at him, blushing lightly.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just cute,” he said still smiling. At this point Yachi realized they were still holding hands and squeaked in embarrassment, quickly pulling her hands away and clasping them behind her back. Bokuto chuckled again. “Have you warmed up to me enough to let me give you a hug?” She looked at him, nervously considering the question.

“Please?” he begged with an over exaggerated pouty face. She nodded and he immediately moved gleefully to embrace her in the kind of warm bear hug only Bokuto Koutarou could bestow. To her surprise – and Bokuto’s delight – Yachi almost instantly relaxed. Returning the embrace, she found she couldn’t help it. He was just so… cuddly.

“Please don’t be afraid of me, okay? I really do like you, ya know,” he said to her fondly.

“O-okay… I’m sorry.” Her response was quiet but full of intent and Bokuto’s smile grew.

“Can we please be friends?” he asked. He felt Yachi nod against his chest.

Bokuto took in a large breath and released it in a contented sigh as he tightened the embrace. This small action caused the girl to squeak and jolt in his arms.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you? Too tight?” he asked, concern lacing his voice. Yachi shook her head vigorously. Assuming it just had something to do with her discomfort around large people, he decided to try acclimating her to the feeling by keeping the embrace, merely adjusting it, sliding one hand down to her side. The same reaction of a jump from Yachi, but this time, instead of a squeak, she produced a short-lived squeal.

They both froze.

“Are you ticklish, Yacchan?”

The question caused Yachi to start squirming and pushing on his shoulders, trying to free herself from his powerful embrace. Bokuto chuckled.

“Where are you going, little Yacchan? Was it something I said? ~” the boy teased, laughing. “Don’t go! I just wanna hug! ~” He began fluttering his fingers against her sides and she crashed into his chest, all her strength suddenly leaving her. With no hope of escaping now, she opted to simply clutch his shirt in her tiny fists, bury her face in his chest, and hide as she squirmed helplessly. She lasted all of two seconds before she succumbed to the giggles building up in her chest. Bokuto’s heart swelled at the sound.

“NOOOhohoheheheheh!” she shrieked.

“No?! You don’t like my hugs, Yacchan? You hurt my feelings~” he feigned a puppy-dog hurt expression and his voice dripped with the exaggerated pretense of pain. He moved his hands up to massage her lower ribs and her giggles morphed into full-blown laughter.

“GEEYAAhahahahahaa! Dohohahat!” Yachi’s knees began to buckle as the tickling sensations sapped her energy. Encouraged by her change in reaction, Bokuto began worming his fingers in the spaces between the sides and back of her ribs, catching her around her lower back with one arm to keep her from falling.

“Don’t what? Don’t hug you?! But that’s a fundamental in any typical friendship, Yacchan!” Bokuto said casually. “Also, how come you won’t look at me, huh? C’mon, lemme see your pretty face! ~”

With his free hand, he began squeezing the back of her neck, causing her to throw her head back and lift her shoulders in an attempt to protect the sensitive spot. Realizing that this exposed her bright red face and wide smile to him, she attempted to turn away from him.

“GEEHEHahaha! NAHA, lehemee gohohooo!” A sudden upsurge of strength and her struggling gained her momentary freedom. She made a brake for it, hoping to make it to the supply closet and find a hiding spot to wait out the Bokuto storm. She didn’t make it more than five steps, though, before the chase came to an abrupt end. Bokuto’s legs were much longer after all.

“Woops! Sorry, little birdie, but I’m not letting you get away from me that easily.” She felt Bokuto’s big arms wrap around her middle – the sudden contact making her scream in surprise – and pull her back to her tormentor. One arm still wrapped around her ribs, he dug his fingers of his free hand into the center of her stomach, vibrating it like a claw.

“NAAhahahaha! Stahahaaaap!” Yachi pushed at his sturdy arms, trying to dislodge them (with no luck) and, out of reflex, lifted her knees to her chest. This resulted in her now dangling in his hold like a ball. Bokuto laughed at this, his fond grin so wide, it made his eyes disappear in mirth. He was laughing almost as hard as Yachi when the girl started kicking weakly, and he moved his hands to knead her sides once more.

“So, wha’d’ya say, Yacchan? Are you sure you’re not still afraid of me? Cuz somethin’ tells me your last answer wasn’t entirely truthful, hmm?” he purred. Feet finally reunited with the floor, Yachi tried again to pry his arm off her, but her knees betrayed her and she found herself kneeling on the ground, gripping his forearm with her arms outstretched above her head.

“AAAAAAAHAHAHAhahahaa! NAHA NAAHOHO!” Bokuto had taken the opportunity to jab his fingers into her exposed underarm and the result was not disappointing. Yachi exploded into hysterics for all of ten seconds before she fell into wheezy, hiccupy laughter.

“Woahohooh! Hey, hey, hey, did I find the spot?!” Bokuto asked teasingly, releasing her waist and now tickling both her underarms. Yachi crumpled into a fetal position, all her fight gone, and her laughter turned silent.

Finally, Bokuto showed mercy. Grinning fondly, he released the girl and stepped back to let her breath. After a minute, Yachi’s breathing seemed to even out and he chuckled again.

“Aw man, Yacchan! Your laugh is absolutely adorable!” Bokuto said in pure honesty. “And your smile is super pretty!” Now Yachi’s face was red for a whole other reason. Bokuto sat down, crisscross and anxiously rubbing the back of his neck, before he continued.

“Alright, alright. All teasing aside, I’m really sorry about all that just now… heh… I-I couldn’t resist. Are you okay?” he asked, his tone a little gentler now. Yachi smiled weakly and nodded, too embarrassed to meet his gaze. Bokuto grinned.

“Good! But seriously, though, you’re not still afraid of me, are you?” Yachi giggled softly and finally met his golden eyes.

“Noho. I’m not afraid of you anymore. And I’m really sorry about that; I shouldn’t judge people before I know them like that. You’re a really sweet person and I’m really happy that we’re friends now. But… I don’t think I’ll be able to keep from being… a little nervous around big people.” He blinked at her in slight surprise.

“…Hahaha! Well, that’s alright! Being nervous and being afraid are two different things. I get nervous at the dentistry and hospitals, but that doesn’t mean I won’t go inside if I have to.”

A comfortable silence fell between them as they looked at each other, soft smiles carving their lips. Bokuto’s face suddenly broke into a wide grin again and Yachi was a little taken aback by its brightness.

“I have a new friend…Yay!” he exclaimed, making Yachi giggle.  He stood up and offered a hand to the girl who accepted it, and helped her to her feet.

“It’s getting late, we should get to our rooms,” Bokuto said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah. If I’m exhausted, I can’t imagine how you feel.”

“Aw, I’m alright! A little sleep and a good breakfast and I’m back in tip-top shape!” he flexed for emphasis. “Besides, it’s probably my fault you’re so exhausted now anyways,” he said with a teasing smirk.

To his surprise her response was a playful punch in the arm. It was harder than he would have expected from her. Huh.

“Ohohow! I’m sohorry, alright! Don’t hurt me, I beheg you!”

“Yeah, yeah, just go to bed, would’ ya,” she teased as she started past him to the door.

“Wait!” She stopped, turning back to face him with an expectant look on her face.

“Could I have one more hug before we go?” There was that puppy face again.

She smiled and shook her head in resignation as she approached him. Bokuto spread his arms, welcoming her before wrapping her in another warm, strong Koutarou hug, her cheek resting on his chest.

“Don’t tickle me!”

“HAHAHA! I wasn’t going to! Cohommon, Yacchan, I’m not that mean!” He released her, still chuckling softly. Giving her one last bright smile, he moved past her towards the door, poking her playfully in the side in parting. Yachi squeaked, turning quickly to frown at his back.

“Goodnight, little Yacchan~” he sang.

“Goodnight, Big Bo~” She heard him cackle as he left and a quiet, celebratory ‘yes’ was the last thing she heard. She smiled to herself. That nickname was genius if she did say so herself.

As she went to go to her room as well, she couldn’t help but think back on what the hell just happened. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of all this. It was good, there was no doubt about that, but she knew one thing for sure; there was no way she was ever going to tell Bokuto that one of the reasons she had been so skittish around him was because she thinks he’s absolutely gorgeous.

‘Holy crap, he thinks I’m cute!!!’

[richneds-blog]

a little reddie for u all

-when they were about 16 richie and eddie had both decided they wanted to move out of derry, together… they just hadn’t talked to each other about it.

-they had been best friends for fucking ages. eddie sort of fell for Richie when he was 14, and richie did the same.

-days turned into months, which turned into years of Richie tease-flirting with eddie, and the two of them being overly affectionate with each other, not thinking of them being anything more than ‘best friends’

-it wasn’t until bev said anything to Richie that he realised he’d fallen head over heels in love with his best friend.

-they were having a smoke together when she nonchalantly asked ‘so have you kissed him yet?’

-‘sorry, who is it that i’m kissing marsh?’

-‘um, eddie?’

-Richie’s breath hitched mid drag, causing him to start coughing on his cigarette

-‘what the fuck’ *cough* ‘huh?’

-after that Richie paid extra attention to eddie,

-he can’t believe he hadn’t noticed he liked eddie sooner himself. if everyone else had figured it out then maybe eddie had too

-when they were 16, Richie decided that he had enough. he was gonna tell eddie how he felt

-so he had it all planned out. he knew exactly what he was gonna say and how. organised&confident!richie

-you know on one of those nights, (obviously… it cant be reddie w/o Richie climbing thru eddie’s window at one in the morning) Richie carefully climbed through the unlocked window to eddie’s room, trying to be quiet to not wake mrs kaspbrak down the hall

-which of course involved Richie awkwardly pulling himself over the window-sill, tripping over his own feet and making a clatter before carefully pushing himself back up off the floor and sweeping his long curls off his face

-eddie was sitting on his bed shirtless reading a book, his beside lamp turned on, illuminating his face in the most flattering ways

-cue panicking&nervous!richie

-he took one look at eddie and everything he had planned went straight out the window he came in

-rich didn’t even give eddie time to say hello before he just

-“eddie i think im fucking in love with you”

-and eddie was shocked

-obviously not shocked at what he said but at the pure abruptness of it all

-well he was a little bit shocked because jesus Christ Richie likes me back wtfffff wtf wtf WTF

-so he did what any normal human being would do in the middle of an awkward situation

-he just started quietly, kinda psychotically, chuckling to himself

-like quick laughs in between really short breaths

-tbh Richie thought eddie was having an asthma attack

-“ohhhh shit oh shit okay fuck um its okay you don’t need to say anything i knew you wouldn’t feel the same i knew you couldn’t me back its fine, just can we please pretend this never happened ohhhhh fuck why did i do this, it was a bad idea from the beginning, fuck you marsh oh my g”

-eddie was just staring at Richie now, this huge blabbering mess like… what the fuck is going on.

-but Richie wouldn’t stop talking so eddie made his way over and off the bed, walked over to Richie and just put his hand over his mouth so he’d stop talking

-“jesus chee, shut the fuck up would you?”

-and Richie just mumbles an almost incoherent ‘okay’ from underneath eddie’s hand

-“calm down, its fine because i… love you as well”

-and Richie shoulders just un tense x1000 and hes like oh fuck i just embarrassed myself but its okay because eDDIE LIKES ME BACK FUCK YES MOTHERFUCKERS THANK YOU MARSH

-*still mumbling against eddie’s hand* “you do?”

-“yeah, I love you Richie”

-“cool… can i kiss you”

-“sorry what? I couldn’t hear that”

-“can I kiss you?”

-“sorry, hold on” (and just takes his hand off richie’s mouth)

-and as he does Richie just fuckin grabs eddies waist and pulls him into him and just, kisses him.

-and its sweet and its passionate and its everything they both hoped it would be

-and they just melted into each other

-and were both so fucking happy

-when they started dating none of the losers were even surprised, and they all knew every detail of what happened because eddie wouldn’t stop talking about it for the first MONTH

-“and he just went so fucking red and he looked so embarrassed but it was okay because he didn’t know what i knew which was that”

-“you loved him back, yeah we fucking get it eddie. tbh NONE of us are surprised. its been a fucking month now”

-but now fast forward to them STILL dating and they’re just about leaving school, and they both know they wanna get the fuck out of derry

-and when they talk to each other about it they decide they want to move to New York

-they got this cute little apartment in the city  

-and it’s absolutely gorgeous

-the night of moving day, they’re just sitting on a bunch of pillows arranged in the living room, Richie has his arm around eddie’s shoulders and they’re just sitting on the floor. just looking around at all the unpacked boxes around them

-there isn’t any furniture because Richie fucked up the dates they were moving with the moving guys

-“rich are you sure you want to organise the movers for us?”

-“yes eds, i’m sure i can do that. don’t you trust me?”

-there’s this big ass window in their living room/kitchen that looks over the city streets and all the lights from outside are flashing and they’re just cuddling on the floor feeling so content

-and they pull out heaps of pillows and blankets and just create a makeshift bed on the floor, and fall asleep in each others arms, feeling so fucking happy

-over the next few days, they finish unpacking, they have the furniture set up and they begin to decorate here and there

-and everything just feels so… right

-like they’re so happy to have moved out of the hellhole they lived in and just are feeling pure bliss because they can barely believe they managed to end up here living together

-Richie wants to get a ping pong table and put it in the kitchen

-but eddie doesn’t agree with that

-“look eds there’s SOOO much space”

-“Richie we aren’t having a ping pong table in our fucking kitchen”

-one morning when eddie wakes up, he realises that Richie isn’t in bed with him

-he sits up, feeling very confused, until he pulls himself out of bed

-he smells something really delicious and hes just like

-????????

-and walks out to the kitchen to see Richie shirtless, cooking breakfast, softly singing along to a song that’s playing over the radio

-and eddie just smiles to himself because look at my boyfriend, he’s gorgeous

-they’re build pillow forts in the living room and curl up watching movies when it’s raining outside

-“you can never be too old for a pillow fort babe”

-and sometimes Richie falls asleep on eddie’s lap while eddie plays with his hair

-Richie still plays guitar

-sometimes when eddie comes home from uni or work, Richie is already home and he’s sitting in the living room playing and singing

-sometimes he writes songs about eddie which makes eddie absolutely melt

-and when either of them has a bad day, they do whatever they can to make the other relaxed

-like cooking a nice dinner, running them a bath

-when eddie’s stressed or angry, Richie knows he doesn’t want to talk so he’ll give eddie gentle hugs and forehead kisses

-and he’ll play his guitar

-and when richie’s upset or having a bad day, eddie will sit down with him and talk. just talk. about nothing and everything all at once

-and eddie will play with richie’s hair which they both love

-also expect SPONTANIOUS ROMANTIC DINNERS

-like cute candle lit dinners with homemade food

-and even though they’ve been best friends since they were 13, and they know absolutely everything there is to know about each other, they still stay up all night talking about things

-they talk about themselves, or whats happening, how they’re feeling, they talk about deep shit like their fears and what they want for breakfast tomorrow morning

-and sometimes they’ll climb up the fire escape and sit on the roof

-they still see the losers regularly, switching between their place and bill & stan’s

-(YEAH I KNOW IM A SUCKER FOR STENBROUGH)

-bev ended up with ben and they decided they wanted to live in Europe, because its gorgeous there. plus bev has never been to paris,

-mike got a football scholarship at college and is living on campus

-so they don’t see them as much as they see bill and stan

-but all the losers get together in the holidays for thanksgiving, Christmas and new years and it’s just a big fucking party

-because u know what they say,,,,, friends who have shared trauma, stay together!!11!!!1!!

-reddie always orders a shit tonne of take out food because sometimes they’re too tired to cook

-“Richie we can’t have thai for the third night in a row, if i even smell it i reckon i’ll throw up, and i’ll throw up all over your new shirt”

-they have a joint closet in their room and eddie always steals richie’s sweaters because he likes how they’re too big for him, plus they smell of Richie

-and overall they’re just largely in love and they’re happy

-and fuck off IT never returns, stan never takes a bath, eddie never dies and RICHIE AND BILL ARE THE BEST MANS AT EACH OTHER’S WEDDING AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

[talesofvalaar]

Moments That Never Were: Aetros

[Just a forewarning; It’s a long one.]

These dreams have become so frequent it’s hard to tell what was ever true and where the dream began. I wake often in my room with the imbalanced feeling deep in my chest. Sometimes I can tell if I’m dreaming, sometimes I cannot.

Today, I cannot.

I awaken to the sound of my mother and two handmaids lacing her corset. She turns to meet my gaze, “Aetros! Oh thank goodness, I was worried you wouldn’t be awake when the boat came in.”

“The… boat?” My head is spinning, but I am almost certain she said ‘boat’.

“Yes, dear, the boat,” She takes my hand and we leave her dressing room. I pass by the mirror; my scar is gone, my horns not grown yet, I can’t be older than 15. I start to wonder if it’s normal to question my age if I’m not in a dream.

My mother takes me to the port that usually is only used by our military. Every guard nods and smiles and we walk by, some even bow. The Major General is waiting at the end of the dock.

“Your highnesses,” He bows to both of us.

“The honor is all ours, Raviatan. He would be dreadfully upset if we were not present upon his arrival.” My mother pats my shoulder and smiles.

“I am pleasantly surprised that young Aetros could join us today,”

My cheeks turn red, “Likewise, Sir…” At this moment, I am not entirely sure who it is I am waiting on. I know she said the General, but is it customary for us to greet the military after a mission? We’ve never had to before.

“There she is! The General’s ship!” Major General Raviatan points at a military vessel floating on the horizon.

A very familiar horned figure stands on the bow on the ship, hands behind back, eyes on the horizon.

“Dad…” I whisper quietly. I see my mother smile.

It’s strange; every time I see him in a dream, every time I see him at all, it feels like the first time all over again. I hope I never forget what that feels like.

The boat drops anchor, two lines of soldiers walk past us before the General finally steps out onto the dock.

“Welcome back, General Valaar.”

“Reserve the formalities for the War Room, Ravi,” He turns to greet mother and I, embracing us simultaneously, “I missed you both so much,” My mother kisses his cheek, he returns the gesture. Mother steps away so that my dad can sweep me off my feet and twirl with me in his arms. “Especially you, kiddo.”

I feel tears swell in my eyes, “I’m so glad you’re back.” he feels almost too large for me to wrap my arms around, but that doesn’t stop me.

“Aww come on, I know that you have to have missed Wallace just a tiny bit.”

“Wall-”

I hear a faint, subtle, “Boo,” over my left shoulder. It’s enough for me to jump out of my father’s arms in fright, nearly falling into the water.

“Woah!” Wallace grabs my hand and pulls me closer, “I didn’t mean to actually scare you.”

“Come, you two, we can talk about the college together.” My mother ushers down the boardwalk.

The college?

---

“So we’re calling it the ‘(Last name) Institution of Science’ and we should be opening some time before Winter. The site is beautiful and the architects have done a wonderful job. I’m hoping that I will get to take Aetros before classes begin.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea. We’re all so proud of you. I’m sure your father would be too.” Mother pats Wallace’s shoulder reassuringly.

I almost can’t believe it. Wallace was before me, a changed man with intentions on educating future generations. A man who wanted to leave a legacy. Could I trust it? Was this truly someone bent on changing their future or did my mind fabricate something more twisted than the reality itself?

“You’ve been awfully quiet, dear, “ My father looks to me, “Is everything alright?”

“U-uh, y-yes… I just haven’t felt very well today. Forgive me, everyone.” I nervously take a sip of my tea.

“I understand, Aetros. I can take you back to your room, if you’d like.” Wallace smiles dearly.

“Oh, would you? Katayida and I have some personal matters to discuss.” Mother looks at me, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious.”

Wallace extends his arm. I take it.

We walk in silence.

“... I know today is hard for you,” He says to me, solemn.

“... in what way?”

“Well… y’know… it’s kinda the anniversary of my mother’s e-execution…”

Excuse me? “I would think that would be harder on you,” I am trying my best to blend into the situation, “She was your mother.”

“Yeah, but she tried to kill you. Like, in public,” Well, he has me beat there, “Besides, we weren’t close. I can’t really feel bad for someone I hardly knew.”

I hope Maelline is rolling in her grave, “I guess you have a point.”

“Parents are just people who have children. Family are the people who love and care about you,” Wallace looks to me, “You, Lissa and Katayida are my family.”

“I-I’m honored… you feel this way…” I can’t believe it. I physically can’t believe it. The fabric of the dream shivers. I’m reminded of the real Wallace, the other Wallace? The one that wanted to conquer the world and create abominations, the morally corrupt one, the one that tried to kill us more than once.

I cry out as the memories flood back to me, my knees hit the floor. I can’t stop shaking.

“Aetros! What happened?! Are you okay? What can I do?” Wallace comes to my aide. Why is he- which one is he? I can’t- I can’t remember.

“Talk to me! What do you need? Please tell me what’s wrong!” he begs.

“I… I remember everything.”

And I black out.

---

Reality stabs me with a sharp dagger. This isn’t a dream; it’s a memory. A memory from another time. This is the world where my father never left and Maelline was overthrown. This is the world I had always wondered about. But I don’t understand; what good is it to experience this if I can’t remember anything else? To me, my father barely knows who I am, despite loving me unconditionally, Maelline is alive and hellbent on my death, and Wallace is right beside her.

In the end, what do I believe? What should I trust? How do I know that this will last? How long will this last? I know what is real.

But do I even want to remember what’s real anymore?

I feel something gently trace the points of my horns, it moves down my cheek, and stops at my chin.

“Well, this is certainly odd.”

That voice. I know that voice. I know that voice.

“Weren’t your horns bigger before you fell asleep, honey?”

HYRSAM????

I jump to life. There he is; the fae spirit himself, Hyrsam the fool. And I’m in his bed. I think.

“Did… did anything happen while I was asleep?” I ask, exasperated.

“No idea, I left for a moment to check on something,” he makes the face where he pretends he’s not reading my mind. His eyes widen and he jumps back.

“What? What is it?”

“U-uh… this might be a weird question. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“I was back at home. I was like… 15? My father was a General and Wallace was about to open a college. I passed out in the hallway after… after…”

Hyrsam throws a dress my way, “I just want to make it very clear, I did not make out with you while you looked like a teenager.”

“Do I look like one now?”

He nods fervently, averting his eyes.

I clothe myself, embarrassed for whatever version of myself I am living through, “So… what reality is this?”

“How do you mean?”

“What makes this world different from the others? I was just in the one where Maelline was overthrown and executed. I think I live in the one where there’s a war going on and there are spiders everywhere?”

He looks distant.

“Please, I need to know. It’s getting really hard to sort my thoughts.”

“... Well, Lolth’s threat is gone here…”

“Uhuh and?”

“You’re the only one who lived.”

“The… only one?”

He nods, “No one survived.”

“Hyrsam, you have to tell me what happened,” I reach for his hand, he pulls away, “I’m scared, I don’t even really know where I am anymore… I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.”

He falls quiet for a moment.

And sighs deeply.

---

The sky is gray with storming clouds, creatures I couldn’t begin to identify swarming around us. I hold tight to Daxos as we bound across the battlefield, blood oozing from a gash in my side among other places. I look across the landscape, a familiar Dragonborn staves off a Chitine while she stands over a druid I recognize as Bloeedueth. A little ways down, I see a Barbarian man fall to the might of several spiders. The blood and gore goes on for what feels like miles, my head feels light, I hear the calls of my loved ones, some distant, some close. Daxos finally stops, wrapping his long, displaced tendrils around me and tossing me into what I realize now is a portal. I reach towards him, but he runs away. I hear his roar echo from the beyond as I am now displaced from place in time.

The Feywild is bright and beautiful, unsuitable for my damaged body and my cries of pain. The corner of my eye catches the sight of another body, I crawl towards it, noticing it rested against another. A Drow and a Half-Elf, Jaron and Cyrus. Jaron’s breath rattles, his head against Cyrus’s chest. “W-we held on… as long as possible…” He turns around, his eyes finally meeting mine. His gaze shifted to my injured body, “Aetros, you’re…”

“I can’t look… is it bad?” I choke, blood falling from my lips into the dirt.

Jaron stood up, revealing the extent of his injuries; a spider’s leg through his arm and several leg-sized holes in his body. Weakly, he dragged me over to Cyrus, I felt a cry in my throat, but he silenced me, “I know. It’s okay.” He resumed his position, cradling the two of us now.

I reached for Cyrus’s hand, he barely curled his fingers around mine. He pressed his face against my arm and smiled. I felt it when he stopped breathing.

I started to wail, holding tightly to what was left of him. Jaron coughed, his breathing slowing down. I turned to him in horror, but all he could do was smile.

And then I was alone.

---

Hyrsam held me tightly as I relived those memories, each one in painful detail. He whispered to me quietly, “I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough…” as I sobbed in his arms.

This reality felt cold and inhospitable now and all I wanted to do was leave again. I would take the fake smile on Wallace’s smug face over losing all of my family and comrades to Lolth’s tyrade. I would take it in stride even if there were a knife through my heart.

“Aetros- You’re-” Hyrsam quickly let go of me, calling to attention the scars on my body, fresh and bleeding.

“Make it stop!” I try to lay on hands myself, to no avail.

Hyrsam conjures a small pile of bandages and healing salves, generously covering me in each. I’m shaking by the end, sobbing through each wrap of the cloth. Hyrsam looks distressed, even moreso than the last time I had seen him, (but he didn’t need to know about that). When he finishes, he takes a step back, “I uh… I’ll let you rest for a bit. It sounds like you need it.” he leaves the room quietly. I am alone again.

I close my eyes, wondering when this sick dream will end.

“I just want to go home…” I whisper.

---

I am greeted by the pitch black void instead.

I float aimlessly.

Quietly.

“You.”

Or so I thought.

I turn around and face my companion in this void.

Wallace charges at me, his hands aimed for my neck. I quickly dodge and float to the side.

“You did this. You put me here!!” he put the toe of his boot to my head, but the force only pushed me.

“I haven’t done anything! I’m just as confused as you!!” I moved a fist in his direction, pushing him away in a similar fashion. We continued pushing each other until we realised this was doing nothing.

“I don’t need to kill you to get out of here. I can find some other way.” Wallace examined his surroundings fervently with his calculating stare.

“Get out? Aren’t you dead?” The last thing I remembered before I switched realities was Ælfric with his sword, gutting Wallace where he stood. You don’t just forget that you died.

Wallace paused, then continued to look around, “As if that’s going to stop me. I’d take a thousand more lifetimes of watching my miserable lives play out than sit here with you.”

“Wallace… I don’t think you get to leave.”

“And what makes you think that you do?”

“If you want me to be honest, I saw 15 year old me die in a hallway, watched my friends and family die in my arms, I apparently also had sex with a fae prince, and that’s just what I’ve seen today.” I concede.

“You’ve seen your other lives as well?”

We share a knowing gaze.

“... What happened in yours?”

“Anything and everything, in grave detail. Including the things you mentioned.”

“What happened after we were in the hallway?”

He scoffed, “You went into a coma then died 2 weeks later. I had a nervous breakdown and resigned control of that university to someone else. Immediately began studying the dark arts in attempt to bring you back, pissed off the god of death, Katayida killed me out of ‘mercy.’ That was a boring one. Very out of character for me.”

“Gods. That’s horrible.”

“Nowhere near as bad as the one where the woman I fell in love with became brainwashed and tied me to our mattress to kill me. Love is an odd thing, let me tell you.” He laughed as though it were a joke. He had been brutally murdered at least 3 times and he was laughing about it.

“Are you not the slightest bit disturbed that you’ve died so horribly?”

“Disturbance is subjective. As is happiness. Why do you ask? I know you don’t feel sympathy towards me.” His eyes pierced through me, callousness unmatched.

“Well… you’re right to assume that I don’t sympathize with you entirely, but I understand how you feel. A little.”

“I find that very hard to believe, your highness,” Wallace crossed his arms, “Pray tell how the suffering of others looks from high upon your horse?”

“What makes you think my life was so easy?” I hear the void echo my words, amplifying them, intensifying them, “And what do you care for the suffering of others anyway?”

Wallace becomes quiet.

“Perhaps you should recall those alternate lives of yours and jog your memory; my life was in no way easy.”

“It was because you were weak.” Wallace muttered.

“It was so much more than that and you know it.”

Wallace’s brow furrowed as he straightened his back out, “This conversation is pointless. Your presence here is pointless-”

“Why? Because I don’t agree with you? Because maybe, just maybe, we’re not-”

“We are strangers, Aetros.” His voice echoed across the void, “Whatever sympathetic comparison you are looking for doesn’t exist. Not where you’re from anyway.”

“... That’s not what I-”

“Open your eyes, child. You can’t begin to fathom why I would do the things I have because you’re too ‘good’ and ‘noble’ to be affiliated with someone who takes what they know is theirs. You can’t understand why we’re so different when we’re so very similar.”

His words linger in the air.

I see his gaze falter momentarily, but return to it’s cold resting place. He knows more than I can comprehend.

“Is that how you feel about me?” I ask, naively.

“I see so much more in you. It is beyond me why you squander such a powerful being,” he almost sounds sincere, “Had I known that I didn’t necessarily need…” his hands begin to quiver and eminate a faint light, “What are you doing?”

“I’m not doing anything, I’m listening to-” he draws attention to my own glow. We exchange confused looks as the world around us changes, “Wallace?”

Wallace is changing. His hair grows long and his clothes change entirely. His scars from mechanical augments disappear. I am standing before a completely different man, and it becomes apparent the moment he opens his mouth.

“Is that what you remembered?”

I recall our last conversation. He held me in his arms as I died, overwhelmed by the knowledge of my previous lives. He had seen it all. Now he understood.

My hands were still glowing. I open my mouth to speak, but something stops me; the sound of my own voice, speaking instead.

“I missed you so much. Wallace!” A ghost of my former self runs past me, into his arms. The scene plays in reverse, and plays again on repeat. More Wallaces appear. More Aetros appear. They hold each other tightly. They push each other away. They talk. They nod. They laugh. They cry. They scream. But in the end, they walk together into a beacon of light, content with what had become.

One by one they disappear. And once again, I am left with Wallace from my time.

He seems uncomfortable.

“You okay…?”

“Did you notice how many of them were happy to see each other?”

I had, actually. “Quite a few, wouldn’t you say?”

“More than I thought there’d be.”

The void quaked around us, but Wallace stood unphased.

“I’m sure your friends are waiting for you.” He gestured behind me, a pillar of blue light stretched beyond the bounds of space. No such pillar was behind Wallace.

“But what about-”

“It’s clear that I have some thinking to do.” he folds his hands calmly behind his back.

The pillar draws me in.

“Wallace?”

“Yes, Aetros?”

“I…” The pillar takes in my arm, “I’m glad we got a chance to talk.”

“Likewise, your highness.”

And then, I remember nothing.