#svtn x reader

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Joshua Hong x F!Reader TW : it's angsty ; he's still not the gentleman Shua we love ; but he's better than the last part ; reader is wounded ; mention of guns and gunshots ; lots of talk of blood in the first half ; nobody dies though! ; happy ending ; Word Count : 1.8k Request : Anonny : Your stories are so good! My fav is When it’s Done with Joshua! Are you going to do a part 2? I’m dying to see what happened! A/N : I did not forget this request! I reread the first part, and lemme tell ya, I'm so excited to write part two!

The gunshot echoed through the small alleyway that you had run off into, it was loud and it pierced your ears like a firecracker had just gone off right next to your head. A warning shot you were sure of, probably from one of the guards that you had slipped away from. It wasn’t until you felt the sudden heat in your shoulder and the soaking of the shirt that you were wearing. You looked at your arm and saw the blood stain spreading through the fabric, and it was only once you had realized that it wasn’t a warning shot, that you had been shot, that you felt the agonizing burn and the pain that seemed to radiate and hit every single receptor in your body. It was all you could feel. 

You dropped to the ground, practically crawling to hide behind a dumpster that was pressed up against one of the many abandoned buildings that you and Joshua had once scavenged in. With one hand clasped to your mouth, you reached your other hand to your back, gently pressing your finger against the spot where the bullet had gone straight through your skin. It hurt like a bitch, a pain that was indescribable, so bad it made you black out momentarily. 

This was it, you were sure of it. You’d bleed out behind the dumpster because you just had to prove a point to the asshole who was being whisked away to somewhere safe. It was ironic, but you never made the best choices, and this was surely, without a doubt, the worst decision you had ever made in your life… Which now seemed to be very close to over. 

“Dammit! Just let me go!” Joshua fought with the guard who was clearly becoming more and more annoyed with each push that was landed against him, so annoyed in fact that he finally threw up his arms, allowing Joshua to run past him. 

He didn’t know the first place to run to, and to be honest, he didn’t know if he’d be able to find you. Part of him was actually terrified of what he would find if he did come across you. The gunshot had been so loud, it was close, and he knew that you couldn’t have made it far from the group before the shot had been fired. 

What was he so afraid of? Why hadn’t he just let you in? It’s not like he didn’t have feelings for you, it’s not like you hadn’t found a way to weasel into his heart and make it seem like it was only beating for you. Who was there to put the act on for? Everyone else in the world that he thought had mattered were most likely gone now, you were all he had left… And now he was scared that he’d be truly alone in this world. 

There was no one around, no one that could possibly be a threat, not that he could see. But you were also nowhere to be found either. Had someone taken you? The thought alone had his blood boiling, thinking of someone else laying their hands on you, hurting you… He shook his head, his fingers running through his hair to brush it out of his face. He couldn’t think like that. You had to be around here somewhere. 

A small whimper, one that would have gone unheard if the city were alive with pre-apocalyptic sounds, cars and muffled voices would have drowned out the quiet whine that came from the alleyway that he had just walked past. Without a second thought, he turned down the alley, his legs picking up speed to carry him to where the sound had come from. 

Tear stained cheeks and swollen eyes glanced up at him, but he couldn’t stop from looking at the bright red liquid that colored your hand and your shirt, dripping down your arm and pooling onto the dirty ground beneath you. “Oh my god…” Was all he managed to say as he crouched down in front of you, pulling off his jacket and pressing it against your wound. 

“You came back…” You whispered, although he wasn’t sure if your voice was so low because you were trying to be quiet or if you were just losing so much blood that you were becoming weak. “Why did you come back? You could have been safe…” You continued to speak, and it’s like he could see your heart rate picking up, the blood pouring more quickly now from your wound as you got more worked up. 

“Shut up.” He hissed, trying his best not to upset you, but you needed to calm down or else you’d lose too much blood, and that would mean he’d lose you, and he wasn’t about to let that happen. “You’re so stupid, why would you run off like that? Now both of us are back where we started.” He muttered, and your head dropped, but not only that, you shifted away from him, away from his touch, away from the jacket that was being used to try to stop the bleeding. 

“You didn’t have to come back for me.” You mumbled, your knees curling up against your chest as if you were trying to make as much space between the two of you as physically possible. “I’m sure your good karma meter has reached the top by now, you didn’t have to come back.” He just couldn’t get things right, he just kept upsetting you, even when he wasn’t trying to. “You can leave now, I’d much rather not annoy you with my dying.” 

“You seriously need to stop talking.” He urged, watching as, what could be, the remaining blood seemed to squirt from the bullet hole. “I’ll tell you why I came back, but I need to make sure you’re okay first. So just… Shut up long enough for me to try to help.” Your eyes rolled, but he didn’t really care for it, as long as they weren’t rolling to the back of your head. He could deal with your sassiness, it meant you were still alive. 

He carefully got you up off the ground, making sure you were steady on your feet before leaning over in front of you. “What are you doing?” You asked, but he didn’t have time for your questions, and he knew damn well that your time was very limited, so he reached back, wrapping his arms around the bend of your knees and hoisting you up onto his back. “What the hell?!” You shrieked, but your arms immediately wrapped around him to hold on. He liked the feelings of having you close to him like this… It wasn’t intimate in any way… It was just close, and if the situation weren’t so dire, he would have loved to hear you laugh and maybe even squeal with delight as he carried you around. 

“If you walk, you’ll lose even more blood. Just… take a nap… I’ve got you. I’ll keep you safe… I promise.” 

///

Joshua sat in the little chair beside the bed where you were laying, it was uncomfortable, but he didn’t mind it, and it almost seemed like he had become one with the chair considering he had refused to leave as long as you were still in there. 

The fact that he had managed to catch up with the group of survivors was a miracle, although the guard that he had pushed around didn’t seem very pleased at his reappearance. Once it was realized that you were injured though, one of the other guards pulled you off of Joshuas back and carried you the rest of the way. 

From the moment of arrival at the “base camp”, at least that’s what they called it, he never left your side. The nurses and doctors that had been saved from nearby hospitals had all come to look at you, taking turns to make sure you were healing okay. You had lost so much blood though that they were basically telling him to say his goodbyes when you first arrived. 

Still, even though you were okay, you were far from healthy. You were beyond weak, and it seemed like all you could do at this point was sleep, and while it scared the hell out of him, the doctors all tried to reassure him that sleeping was exactly what your body needed right now, especially since there wasn’t much else they could do outside the hospitals. 

So he sat, and he waited, he waited for hours, days, it felt like weeks that he just sat in that chair, dozing off occasionally just to be jolted awake thinking that he heard you move only to see the doctor walking in to check on you again. He had many questions, but none of them he wanted the answers to. 

A little yawn, and then the quietest curse had him opening his eyes from the little catnap that he had begun to take. You were sitting up on the makeshift hospital bed, your face in what looked to be a permanent grimace as you rolled your shoulders and tried to stretch. “It’s gonna hurt worse if you keep doing that.” He commented, finally feeling all the tension wash away from him seeing you awake. 

“You’re still here…” You said, as if finally noticing that he was in the room with you. Your head tilted to the side as you looked at him, your eyes narrowed, questioning his presence.

“I’ve been here the whole time, I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” 

“How long have I been sleeping?” 

“Too long.” He said flatly, finally getting up from the chair and stretching. Even though he had occasionally taken a small walk around the camp, a majority of the past 3 days he had been in that chair. “How are you feeling?” 

Your eyes followed him as he got closer to the side of your bed, his hand reaching out to touch yours, but hovering just above it. “Uhm… stiff… Sore… Disoriented. Why are you still here?” Your hand moved away from his, but he wasn’t scared anymore. He wasn’t going to hide his feelings from you, he wasn’t going to push you away. You were staying with him, and while he had acted so annoyed when the roles had been reversed, you were now stuck with him. 

“I’m not leaving you… Ever.” He emphasized the ending, his hand coming down on top of yours and giving it a light squeeze. “Now that I know you’re okay, and we’re both safe… I shouldn’t have kept it to myself… But I need you with me. I’ve always been scared of losing you, since the second week of meeting you. Now that I’ve almost actually lost you, I never want to go through that again.” He leaned in, kissing the top of your head as his hand lingered on top of yours, his thumb brushing across your knuckles and sending goosebumps across your skin. “I’m sorry for being an asshole, I’m sorry for making you feel unwanted… I’m sorry for causing this… Will you ever forgive me?” 

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[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Husband!Choi Seungcheol x F!Reader TW : children ; adultry ; divorce ; angst ; Word Count : 3.1k

The breakfast table was full of life as your daughters sat around it, laughing, joking, teasing each other playfully as you and your husband watched on in adoration. Neither of them knew how hard it was for you to continue smiling, the continue playing the role in this act that you had called your life. Of course, you loved them, you adored them, you devoted your life to them from the second they were born… But the man who sat at the other end of the table, wearing the same smile as you, the man that you had vowed to devote your life to… You didn’t love him, not anymore, not the way you used to, you just couldn’t. 

The house was empty now, at least it felt that way once your girls left for school. Even with Cheol sitting across from you at the table, it just felt empty, and it had been feeling that way for the last two years now. “I can’t keep doing this… It’s not fair to them, it’s not fair to me.” You murmured, your fingers tugging at your rings to slip them off, but his hand immediately shot across the table to stop you. 

“It doesn’t have to be like this… It was a mistake, I know it was… I’ve been regretting it and I always will, but I haven’t done it since. I love you, Y/N… Only you. I love our family, our girls…” His thumb brushed along the diamond facet that adorned the ring that he had placed on your finger almost ten years ago now. “I know that you’ll never forgive me… And I don’t ever expect you to, but I don’t want to throw this away. Even if not for us… For the girls…” 

The girls, who had been your only reason for staying the extra two years anyway, but you couldn’t keep pretending, it was getting harder and harder with each passing day. “I can’t even look at you… Not the way that I used to…” You choked out, sliding your hand out from underneath his. “Every time I see your face, when I wake up next to you… All I can see is… That day… I can’t forget it, and I can’t forgive you…” You took a shaky breath, exhaling it in a soft sob. “I can’t keep pretending to live every single day like nothing is wrong. I can’t trust you… It’s unbearable… I don’t even want to look at you.” 

His hands slid back across the table as he leaned back in his chair, his eyes glossing over with unshed tears. “I… I’m sorry…” He whimpered, almost folding into himself as he slumped forward. “Y-You’re my wife… my everything… I don’t want to live without you, without our girls…” His bottom lip trembled as stared at the silver band that wrapped around his own finger, engraved with both of your initials. “I love you… you know that…” 

You shuddered at the proclamation, three words that used to have your heart fluttering whenever you heard him say it, but now it only hurt you. You just couldn’t believe him. “Please don’t say that. Don’t tell me you love me.” You sighed, shaking your head before letting it drop down into your hands. “I think it would be best if… if we just got a d-“

His eyes widened as his head whipped up at you. “Don’t say the D word… don’t say that. We don’t need that.” He whispered it as if just the beginning letter of the word were nothing but filth. “What would it do to the girls? Think about them…” 

You groaned loudly, tired of it, the constant back and forth and then the settling that you’d do when your daughters were brought up. “Stop using them against me, Cheol!” You frustratedly sighed, running your hands through your already tousled hair. “I’m sure they’ll understand enough, at least until they’re older and I can tell them the real reason.” 

“The real reason?” He posed, leaning back in his chair, his shoulders slumping as his eyes stared down at his hands folded in his lap. “My secretary… she was nothing to me. It was… It was a slip up, a mistake. It just… It happened, and I don’t… I don’t want the girls to know about that. I want them to think that we loved each other, we just… we couldn’t be together anymore…” 

“That excuse will only create more questions.” You mumbled, leaning back in your chair just as he was. “They have the right to know the truth about you, about what you did to me, how you ruined this family.” You let out a huff, but when you inhaled, it was like a new breath of fresh air. It had been so hard to hold that in for so long, and now you finally got it off your chest. “I won’t tell them now though, not yet, and it’s not for you, it’s for them, to protect their innocence.” 

“Please, just… Just one chance.” The plea fell from his lips in a single breath, one lost attempt to salvage his marriage, his family, but it was already gone, he just needed to come to terms with it, much like you had to when you had caught him in the act. “I-I… I fired her after you caught us… I haven’t even spoken to her since that day. I don’t want anyone but you. I haven’t been with anyone that isn’t you in two years… I swear on everything, it’s the truth.” 

Your lips were drawn in, and the hardest part was that you knew he was being honest, you knew that ever since that day, he had been nothing but faithful… But there was doubt lingering in your mind and in your heart about just how faithful he’d stay. “That memory… What I saw… It will always be with me. I can’t forget that…” The lump in your throat was painfully swallowed down as you slowly slid the rings off your finger and placed them on the center of the table. “I can’t… The trust… It’s not there anymore. I love you, but not the way I used to. I simply love you because you’re the father of my children, but nothing more than that. I want you to be happy, I want you to be healthy, I want you to be safe… But I don’t want to be with you, not anymore.” 

Those words were the hardest to get out because that was the end, it was the end of everything, the end of all the years you had put into being with him, all the times you shared together, all of the family vacations, lazy weekend mornings walking out of bed and seeing him in the kitchen attempting to make breakfast. It was the end of family holidays where the four of you were together and happy… Although the end had come two years ago, and even though he was still there, it was simply prolonging what you knew had to be done. 

It had been over the moment you stepped into his office, a bag of carry out in your hands, a familiar flutter in your stomach whenever you thought about seeing him. You were going to talk to him about the upcoming trip that he, you, and the kids would take while they were on spring break, a trip that you were looking forward to surprising the girls with. You never thought that you’d find him and his secretary caught in the most intimate of acts in his office. You remembered the way your heart sank, your stomach dropping just as fast as the bag of food you had been carrying. You didn’t even care that the contents of the bag had spilled out across the freshly steam cleaned carpets, you had lost all sense of your appetite anyway. That had been the end, and no amount of apologies or gifts, no amount of I love you’s or notes written neatly in apology cards would ever make up for the pain and the heartache he had caused you that day. It was over. 

“Mr. Joshua is taking us to Disney during summer vacation, did mom tell you that?” Hyeri looked up at Cheol as he stood at the checkout line at the store. He both loved and hated visitation weekends. He missed his girls dearly during the week, and every single evening spent alone was just another reminder that he had ruined everything because of his selfishness and his carelessness. He loved when Hyeri and Yuri would be dropped off at his place, and he’d relish in the hugs they’d give him, he’d listen intently to the stories they’d tell him about how school went that week and all the things they were learning. But he hated hearing about Mr. Joshua, the man in your life that had taken his place, the man that was soon to be your husband and the step-father of his girls. “He even said he’s gonna get us into the castle. Yuri is super excited!” 

It took everything for him to not be upset about it, only because he didn’t want the girls to be upset with him for not being excited with them. Surely they didn’t understand that this Mr. Joshua character was a threat to Cheol and he hated even the utterance of his name. “That’s… That’s wonderful, honey. I’m sure that you and your sister will have a great time.” He rustled her hair before grabbing the bags of groceries off the ledge of the checkout counter before grabbing both his daughters hands and walking to the car. “So… Where do you think we should go this summer? We can go to the beach or to a really cool amusement park… What do you think?” 

No, he wasn’t trying to one up your new fiance, he was simply trying to figure out something fun to do with his children during their summer vacation. It’s not like he felt like he was losing his daughters to some guy that he only met a couple times during their birthday parties. Nope. “Well, Mr. Josh said that there’s a beach there too. It’s in like… California or something.” Yuri said, climbing into the backseat and clicking her seatbelt before pulling out her phone, just another thing that your soon to be husband had gifted his daughters with. 

“California? Like… In America California?” Cheol stammered out, pausing at the back of the car as he piled the groceries in the trunk. “Your mother never told me about that… When… When was she going to tell me?” He couldn’t wrap his head around it, and while he was happy that his daughters were so excited for the trip, he couldn’t help but be agitated about the obscurity of all the details and how much he didn’t know. 

“I don’t know…” Hyeri mumbled, her face, much like her sisters, glued to the phone in her hand. The sight irritated him, they were only 12 and 10 years old, they shouldn’t even have devices like that. “I really wanted to go to that arcade though, the new one, with the laser tag. That looked fun.” She mused, and Cheol made sure to remember that while also trying to control his irritation as he closed the trunk and climbed into the driver's seat. He needed to talk to you, and he needed to talk to you as soon as possible. 

“Alright, you two go play for a bit while I start cooking dinner. Think of a movie for us to watch before bed too.” Cheol called out after the girls as they ran into the house, but much to his disappointment, they went into their separate rooms and he was sure that they were just going to be on their phones until he called them for dinner. The only good thing about it was that he could call you and not have them listen to him. He quickly pulled out his phone and slipped in an earbud, dialing your number and waiting for you to pick up. 

“Hey… Is everything alright? Are the girls okay? It’s not time for their goodnight call… What’s going on?” Your panicked voice came through in his ear after the first ring, and he could hear the sound of someone, a man, most likely Joshua asking what was going on in the background. “Hello? Cheol?” 

He cleared his throat, taking one last glance at the girls' rooms to make sure he was in the clear before speaking. “When were you going to tell me about this California trip? You can’t just take vacations like that without telling me about them… Especially not out of the country, Y/N.” He ranted, running his hands through his hair as he angrily started pulling groceries out of the bags. “You might be enjoying your life and living it up with your new man right now, but they’re my kids too and I’d like to know where they’re going and what they’re doing.” 

The sound of a heavy sigh from your end came rushing through his earphone like a gust of wind. “For Christs sake, Cheol. We just talked about it this morning before you get them. I was going to tell you when it was actually set in stone, but right now we don’t even know when we’re taking the trip. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t make it seem like I’m the bitch right now for finding someone who not only loves me, but loves our girls enough to want to take them on vacations and do things with all of us as a family.” 

Family… The word, whether you knew it or not, was like a gunshot wound right through his chest. Family was something that he had always wanted, something that he had gotten, but he had taken it for granted and lost it in the blink of an eye. It should be him taking you and his girls on trips to California, taking his girls to Disney for the summer, but it wasn’t, and never would be. All he could feel was anger about it, anger and regret. “Yeah, he loves them so much… That’s… That’s why he got them those phones that they’re attached to now. Won’t even get off them to play like normal damn kids anymore. He’s father of the year though, right?” 

“Good God, is this really what this is about?” You muttered, and the sound of it, the way you sounded so annoyed, yet your voice was still so beautiful, it hurt him even more. “They got the phones in case of an emergency. They weren’t even supposed to take them over your house, so you can take them away if you want, but when they come home Joshua and I will have a talk with them about it. And if this is about you being worried about Josh one upping you as a dad… You’re being ridiculous. Hyeri and Yuri love you, more than anything. You don’t have anything to be worried about. Just enjoy the weekend with the girls, get them off their phones and spend time with them… That’s what they want. Okay?” 

He took a shaky breath, his body hunched over the counter and his hand covering his mouth as he let out broken sobs that he tried to muffle in his palm. “I miss you… I miss you so much. I miss being home with you and the girls, I miss life with you, with my family… I love you… I can’t stop loving you… I don’t want to be with anyone if it’s not you…” It had been two years since the divorce, since you packed up with the girls and left to live in your own apartment. His heart completely shattered that day, and the only time it ever feels even half mended is on the weekends when he has Hyeri and Yuri, but having to let them go is like feeling that heartbreak all over again. “You said you wanted me to be happy, but I’m not… I’m not, Y/N. I feel like I’m dying… My life is nothing without you and the girls in it… How could you move on?” 

Your own ragged breaths, as if you were crying as well, were heard through the earphone. Were you crying? Did you miss him too? “Please don’t do this… You don’t know how hard it was for me to let go of everything that we had. There’s memories of you constantly, memories that I’ll never be able to get rid of. I miss what we had before the incident, I love the you that I thought you were… I’ve never fully moved on, and I know that I never will… But I couldn’t stay with you. I needed to be with someone that I know I can trust, that I know won’t hurt me… I needed to move forward… But I never moved on. You need to move forward too.” He heard the deep breath, the way it got lodged in your throat before you had to clear it to speak again. “I have to go, okay? Tell the girls I love them, and try to get them off their phones. Play a boardgame or something with them… They miss you all week… Don’t waste the time you have with them… Please? Goodbye, Cheol… I’ll see you Sunday night.” 

And with that the call was ended, and he was left crying more than he had been before. Just another revelation that it had been his fault that he lost everything, that you were now moving forward in your life with a new man, a guy that would most likely end up closer to his daughters than he ever will be. He was the better man, a man that Cheols daughters could look up to, a man that wouldn’t hurt his family the way Cheol had. 

Life had gone on for you, for his girls, but for him, he was stuck in the past, living over and over the day at the table when you had ended things for good. It was the day he finally realized just how badly he had messed up, and just how great the loss was. He felt it then, and he was still feeling it now as the silence surrounded him in the house that was once a home for his family, a house that he refused to leave. There was no happiness, and there never would be. He’d never get you back, he’d only see his girls on the weekends…. How could his life ever go on when the only things that gave his life meaning he had carelessly thrown away? 

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Idol!Wen Junhui x Idol!F!Reader TW : dating scandals ; cheating ; arguing ; breakup ; Word Count : 2.1k

“Another one…” Jun sighed as he dropped the stack of screenshot pictures onto the table in front of you. It’s not like you didn’t already know what it was, but curiosity had you opening the little manila folder to look through the images. “This is why I say we can’t go out. It’s like they’re looking for us now.” He dropped down onto the couch along the wall as you continued to look through the pictures, your head shaking. 

“It’s not like it’s a scandal though, we’re actually together. You’re the one that won’t come out about it… I’ve been waiting to tell my fans.” You mumbled, turning your body completely in the chair until you were facing him. “I don’t know why you’re so hell bent on hiding it.” 

His eyes rolled as his head fell back against the wall behind him, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “Because your group is nothing in comparison to mine, do you know how much backlash we’d get? It would be the equivalent to me dating a complete nobody. I can’t just do that.” You bit the inside of your cheeks to hold back the words that you wanted so badly to throw in his direction, the only reason why you weren’t tearing up right now is because the makeup artist that had busted her ass to get you ready wouldn’t be happy if you smudged all the work she had done. “Don’t tell me you’re upset about that. You know it’s true. People will say that the only reason we’re dating is because your group needs more publicity.” 

You nodded your head slowly, biting your tongue as you pushed yourself up from your chair. “God forbid our relationship ruin your image.” You muttered before taking a final sip of your drink. “Don’t wait up for me after the show, I’ll go back to the dorms with the girls.” You added as you walked past him, slamming your dressing room door behind you on the way out. 

“Now you’re being ridiculous.” He called out after you, running behind you to catch up until he was walking beside you in the hall. “All I was saying is that we can’t be seen out in public together and you’re making it into this big thing that it doesn’t have to be. You’d understand if your group was as famous as mine is.” 

“See! You just completely undermine everything that me and the girls have worked so hard to do. Just because we’re not at the big award shows or being nominated on MTV for best music video of the year… It doesn’t mean that we’re shit. We just haven’t made it yet. And if you were so worried about being with someone from a nothing group like mine, then why the fuck did you get with me to begin with?” You whipped your head in his direction, glaring down at him, letting your anger take hold of you because if you felt anything else you’d surely start crying. 

“You blow everything out of proportion… I never said any of that. You’re reading into everything and putting words into my mouth.” He scoffed, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned against the wall. “Do you ever think that maybe I’m doing it to protect you too, so that reports don’t come out saying that the only reason we’re together is because your group isn’t good enough to get views without the scandals.” 

 Your eyes widened and you couldn’t help but laugh, although there was nothing funny and you weren’t feeling very lighthearted at the moment. “No. I didn’t think that, because I know that’s not the reason you’re doing it. You’re too selfish to give a shit about all of that. You only care about yourself and your group and your fame and what people might say about you. Don’t even try to tell me that it’s about anything but that because I know it’s bullshit.” You took a deep breath, doing your best to compose yourself as your group's name was called to come get ready to go on stage. “Seriously, just don’t be here when I get off stage.” 

And he wasn’t. He wasn’t there at all waiting behind the scenes like he usually would be with a little towel and a bottle of water for you. You weren’t met with compliments of how good you and your group had done, you weren’t met with anything but emptiness. Of course, you had been the one to tell him not to be there, but he usually never listened. He loved watching you perform, he always told you how proud he was of you when you’d run off stage, and part of you was hoping to hear that. Maybe if you had, all of your anger would have washed away because at the end of the day, he was your boyfriend and maybe what he had said was true and you were just going overboard. 

“Jun isn’t here?” The maknae of your group questioned as she came up behind you and you merely shrugged your shoulders, giving her a purse lipped smile. “Maybe we were just too good, he couldn’t handle it. Or he had to go to the bathroom. He might be in your dressing room waiting for you too though…” 

Maybe she was right, maybe he was waiting for you in your dressing room. Maybe he was tired from putting on his own show earlier that day and he needed to sit down, get some rest. You knew that he and the guys always worked hard to give the best shows to carats, no matter how physically strenuous or exhausting it was. His career was important to him, his group was important to him, and while you had read his words as rude and inconsiderate earlier, you started to feel guilty for the way you acted. The guys came first, they were there before you, and while he cared about you deeply, he didn’t want to ruin what he and the guys had worked so hard for and you understood that. 

The heels that you had been put in for the show had long since been taken off, replaced with a comfortable pair of slippers for your walk down the long hall towards your dressing room. Your heart was pounding, and while you didn’t really have a reason to be nervous around him, it didn’t change the fact that you were. You didn’t know how to really start an apology because while you felt slightly bad for losing your temper a little, you also had your own group to defend. The two of you really needed to talk about things, sort out the scandals and figure out what you were both going to do moving forward. 

Pausing outside the white door that had your name on it, you took a deep breath before grabbing the handle and pushing it open only to be caught off guard, quickly slamming the door shut as apologies rushed out of your mouth. You had to have gotten the wrong room, but another glance at the name on the door had you throwing it open once more and reluctantly looking at the two people that were fumbling to pick their clothes up off the floor. 

“Oh… My god…” Your mouth felt dry, your tongue and your throat, it was causing you to gag as you looked at who you thought to be the love of your life pulling on his pants, his motions frenzied and sporadic. “What in the actual fuck, Jun!?” You shouted, your breaths rapid as you looked between the makeup artist that had just finished getting you ready not even a full hour ago. 

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Ms. Y/N…” She murmured, her head ducked down as she nervously moved past you. You didn’t have anything to say to her though, all of your attention, all of your anger was focused solely on Jun who was standing awkwardly in the center of the room, his shirt unkempt and wrinkled, barely even hugging his frame as it once had from clearly being tugged on a little too much. 

“You know what… I don’t want your explanation… I just want you to leave.” You muttered, slumping against the doorframe, giving him enough room to move past you, but he didn’t move at all, instead keeping his feet firmly planted as he continued to stare at you. “Can you please just go… I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want you around me! Just leave!” 

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea… I love you, Y/N… I was just a little irritated and I needed to let out some of my irritation and…” He quickly shut up when your eyes turned to daggers, glaring at him from across the room. “I didn’t plan on doing that! It was like a… a spur of the moment type thing and… I can see why you might be upset about it… But it really was nothing…” 

It took everything in you to not lash out right now, to not scream at him with every last breath in your lungs, and the only reason you held back was because you didn’t want people to come running, you didn’t want anyone to see what was going on or hear what had happened. It was humiliating to be cheated on, but it was far worse if everyone else knew about it too, especially before you even had the chance to fully come to terms with it. 

“So I can go fuck Soonyoung because I’m really irritated right now and it’ll be a spur of the moment thing, but it’s also nothing? Is that what you’re telling me?” You proposed, and his eyes widened as his jaw set, anger flashing across his face. “Oh, that only works when you do it, right?” 

“That’s different and you know it… He’s like my brother, you can’t do that.” He retorted, his nostrils flaring from the anger that he wasn’t even trying to hold back. “You can’t… You can’t cheat on me with one of the other guys.” 

You snorted softly, shaking your head as you slowly started walking towards him, an impish smile on your face as you stood in front of him. “It’s not cheating if we break up, and just in case it didn’t cross your mind during your little defense moment… We broke up. I can put up with your insults and your obviously bullshit lies as to why you didn’t want to be seen with me… But I don’t take kindly to cheating, and I’m surely not desperate enough to stay with one.” You folded your hands in front of you, feeling all the more powerful right now as you watched his expressions morph in quick succession, an overwhelming range of feelings perfectly displayed on his features. “I just think it would be best if we hadn’t met, you know?” 

“But we have met, you’re my girlfriend… I’m… I’m in love with you. I messed up. What happened to strikes? I messed up once… I swear I’ll never do it again, I’ll go public with our relationship… I’ll do anything… Just, one more chance… Please?” God, you loved hearing him grovel, but it was all pointless. 

“I was your girlfriend… But now I’m not, and I’d much rather pretend we never met at all. I don’t know you, and that’s the truth, because the person standing in front of me right now is not the person that I loved before. Cheaters don’t deserve chances…” You finished, much stronger than you had been feeling when you first walked into the room. “Now, I’d like to have my room back so that I can change into something more comfortable. You can leave now.” You motioned your hand toward the door and watched as he walked out, his shoulders slumped yet visibly shaking from the silent sobs he was holding in. 

You might not be as big as he is, not fame wise at least… But you were a bigger person, and while he was so scared of risking his fame by saying he was with you, he had potentially created a bigger risk by doing what he had done. Not that you’d say anything, you respected the other guys too much, and they probably didn’t even know the man that stood beside them. He might not be able to hide his true personality well, but with the secret that you planned to keep came power, and you loved the feeling of it.  

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : non!idol Joshua Hong x F!Reader TW : apocalypse au ; gentleman joshua does not exist in this universe ; plot twist at the end ; it's just angsty ; Word Count : 2.0k Request : nope

How in the hell did you manage to get stuck with someone like him during a time like this? The world was ending pretty much, and you managed to be stuck in the fucking apocalypse with the biggest asshole that might have been left on the face of the earth. You shouldn’t be complaining, if it weren’t for him you’d be dead… At least that’s what he told you literally every single time the tiniest complaint left your lips. 

You felt like you had the right to complain though, considering the fact that you wanted what could possibly be the last few hours of your life to not be being told that you were slowing him down and that he wished he had gotten stuck with someone who wasn’t “up to speed” on survival tactics. The fuck did he do while the world was still running? Watch Youtube videos on how to survive in the wild with a stick and dirt? 

Of course, during a catastrophic event such as the one that you found yourselves in, there were times when maybe a little bit too much liquor was consumed when assumed to be in a safe place, and maybe you both were desperate to feel the touch of another person after having gone without it for so long. Mistakes were made, but you had watched enough apocalyptic movies to know that you surely weren’t the first and only person to be making those mistakes. 

The regret and disgust would kick in as soon as you woke up the next morning underneath the sheets with him right beside you, the feeling of the hard floor against your bare body was enough for you to know that what had happened the night before wasn’t something that you would have done with someone like him on a normal night. That didn’t keep those mistakes from happening multiple times though because, again… You were lonely, and you were desperate, and you had every damn right to be needy. It’s not like he was trying to stop you either. 

Sadly those mistakes led to you at some point, the timing unbeknownst to you, catching feelings for him. What a shame. You found yourself trying to move faster, work harder, prove to him that you were worthy of being beside him during this time, and maybe, if things got better, you’d maybe be worthy of staying beside him once everything was fixed. You were much more needy than usual, and maybe that was you subconsciously just trying to get your fill of him before he got tired of you. You knew that day would come, you knew deep down that he wouldn’t actually want you… But that didn’t stop you from hopelessly hoping that he would. 

“Josh!” You called out his name as you burst through the door of the safe house that you had crashed in the night before. You were breathless, bags of stolen food stashed under your arms as you stared at him. He quickly whipped around on his heel, rushing over to you and grabbing the food away from you, his own breathing heavy and you could hear the agitation in it. 

“Where the fuck were you? I woke up and you were gone, what the fuck is that?” He ranted, dropping the bags to the floor and then crouching down to look through them. “If one of us leaves, we tell each other. You know that. We don’t leave alone anyway, it’s not safe.” He mumbled, and now wasn’t exactly the time to get flustered by his words, but for a moment it actually sounded like he cared. 

“I saw guards… They had people with them… They were following them and… We have to go now…” You rambled, your hands planted on your knees as you tried to catch your breath. You shouldn’t have expected him to give you much time to actually recuperate from running back to the safe house, as soon as he heard about the guards and the potential to actually be saved, he was picking up the bags and pushing you out the door. 

“Which way did they go? You should have called them over! Fuck! I refuse to be out here forever, this is shit.” He kept pushing you forward, and while in the beginning you would have usually tripped over your own feet with all of his shoving, your balance has gotten much better, mostly in part to you wanting to impress him, to show him that you were worthy of his time and of his presence. 

“There!” You shouted, pointing out the moving forms of people that were just slightly in the distance, picking up the pace to try to catch up to them. “Hey! Over here!” You shouted, hoping that you’d get their attention, and now Joshua was grabbing your hand, completely forgetting about the stolen groceries that he had dropped to the ground just so he could run with you. 

Your heart was racing, but the heavy hammering in your chest wasn’t due to the physical exertion of running. He was holding your hand, his fingers intertwined so tightly with your own, it felt like he was never going to let go, and part of you… well, actually, a majority of you wished that he wouldn’t. “Stop! Please!” He shouted, and the guards finally turned to face the both of you, their guns drawn in your direction causing you both to freeze and throw your hands up. 

The two of you were quickly inspected before being thrown in with the group of others that had managed to survive, and the entire time you both walked, his hand was wrapped firmly around your wrist, pulling you closer to him whenever you got tossed around by disgruntled survivors. “I think we’re safe now…” You murmured, glancing quickly up at him, but dropping your gaze when you realized he was looking down at you. 

“Why did you come back to get me?” He asked, and you thought that it would have been obvious, the answer was as clear as the sun in the sky, at least to you it was. “You should have just saved yourself. What if we didn’t find them? What if you had lost the guards? We would have been stuck there even longer… Having to fight for food… It would have been awful.” 

“Because I wanted you to be safe too… I wanted to make sure you were saved… Because I know you would have done the same for me.” Of course, you didn’t actually know that… It was simply wishful thinking on your behalf. You hoped that by now he would have cared enough about you to come get you… But the way he stared at you with no expression at all just proved that your thought was completely wrong. 

“Seems like you don’t know me then.” He said flatly, letting your arm drop as he let go of your wrist. “I wouldn’t have come back for you at all… I would have saved myself first. I would have let them know you were back there… But I wouldn’t have risked my chance of being safe just to save you.” 

You didn’t need the full explanation, you knew damn well what he had meant in the first half, but as if to rub salt in the wound, he felt the need to draw a bigger picture, and the bigger picture for him was simply a picture of himself. “You don’t care about me… at all? You wouldn’t have cared if I had gotten saved or not?” You asked the questions, but you weren’t sure whether you actually wanted to hear the answers. 

“I’ve spent the better half of this past year making sure you stayed alive… I feel like I’ve saved you enough.” He retorted and you knew that he would be like this, you knew how he was, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. 

“After everything… We-” 

“You were there. You were practically throwing yourself at me… why would I use my hand when you were making it so easy?” It was another solid blow, and while on the outside you were standing up straight, on the inside you were doubled over, sobbing and on the verge of throwing up. The end of the world had made you pretty good at suppressing your emotions, and you’d be damned if you showed them now in front of him. “I mean, what did you expect? This isn’t some k-drama where we fall in love at the end. I don’t like you, and to be quite honest, you were the worst part of this entire apocalypse. I hated having to deal with you.” 

“Then why did you help me? What was the point?” He had already hurt you enough, asking that final question wasn’t going to do any more damage. 

“I guess I just wanted some good karma, just in case I didn’t make it. Like… Yeah, I’m an asshole… But I helped the most annoying person survive through the end of the world so that’s gotta be good for something.” He let out a chuckle, and that’s when you lost it. You were humiliated and he just… he thought it was funny, he thought it was a big joke now that he was on his way to somewhere safe. 

“If it weren’t for me you still would have been in that run down fucking shack. But you’re right, you are an asshole… But you didn’t help me survive. If anything, you made me wish that I hadn’t because I had to put up with your shit.” You snapped back, and he rolled his eyes, but at least he was listening to you. “I didn’t need you… I still don’t need you. I don’t need anything or anyone.” 

He scoffed, his lips turned up into the most arrogant looking smile you had ever seen a person wear. “Sure you don’t. You’re helpless.” He snarkily stated, and it almost seemed like he was saying it loud on purpose, as if the other people that were around you would give a single shit about what he had to say. 

“No. I’m not.” Was the last thing you said, pushing your way through the crowd, going the opposite way and breaking through them. It was stupid, sure… But you were hell bent on proving yourself, and even if you didn’t… Even if you were to die in the process of trying to prove your point… It’s not like he would know, and he probably wouldn’t even give a shit. 

He watched as you pushed your way back, and for a second he thought that maybe you were just fucking with him, trying to get him worked up, but when he looked back and didn’t see you still in the crowd as he had expected, he started to panic. “What the fuck…” He mumbled, pushing himself up on his toes to see past the people behind him. They pushed past him, grumbling curses at him and shoving him aside as they moved around him, but he was too focused on trying to find you, and that’s when he spotted you walking away from the crowd… Back towards the shack… “W-Wait! We have to go back! Go back!” He shouted, trying to push past the guards that you had somehow managed to make it around. 

“Move forward!” The guards shouted, pushing against him as he continued to try to go around them. What the fuck were you doing?! Why? Was it so important for you to prove this to yourself… Were you trying to prove something to him? 

“Please! Sh-She got out! You have to-” The sound of a gunshot rang out from where you had been headed, and while everything around him became chaotic as the guards tried to move everyone somewhere safe, he couldn’t help but wonder where the bullet had gone, what it had struck… Who it had stuck. All of the words he had said… Why? Why was he so scared of letting you stay in his life when he had already let you in? What was he expecting when it was done? He wasn’t sure before, and while at the time that he was stuck with you, he couldn’t wait for you to be gone… Now he didn’t know if he’d be able to manage the world without you. 

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Five Star Friendship Pairing : Platonic Mingyu, Jun, Seokmin, and Joshua x F!Reader TW : none really ; chaotic crack ; cute though ; reader has a cold ; Word Count : 2.1k Request : @jcngh0-hq : so just imagine, being friends with svt and having a cooking battle with the chefs of the group ( i know mingyu is in it but idk the rest fkfhfkf ) maybe just a cute && crack oneshot skshdkdj A/N : The absolute RESEARCH I did in regards to their cooking skills, my computer FBI agent is probably very confused as to why I'm looking this stuff up at 3:30am xD But this idea is so cute, and I'm gonna put my own little spin on it, I hope you don't mind, but it'll definitely be cute and like 99.9% crackish!!

The best part about being friends with a majority of the members of Seventeen was the fact that they brought excitement into your life. Even when you weren’t there to experience it for yourself, you could always live through them, through the stories they told you, through the pictures they sent you, through the videos you got of them on stage in sold out venues. They were living the dream, and you were vicariously living it through them. 

What was even better though was being able to hang out with them whenever you all were able to see each other, and while it wasn’t often, the guys tried their best to make sure to see you at least once a month. This month was no different, except the fact that you had fallen ill, and the monthly movie night that had been scheduled weeks in advance had to be called off. 

“Can’t make it tonight guys, I’m sorry :(( Seems like the stupid cold that’s been going around finally caught me.” You texted into the groupchat, watching as a bunch of circles appeared under your message to show that it had been seen, and then in a matter of seconds, the text bubbles appeared. The only ones who weren’t writing back were Joshua, Jun, Mingyu and Seokmin. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N will be feeling better in no time. I’ll make her some of my homemade stew that I learned from my mom and take it over there. She’ll be ready for the movie by tomorrow night!” Seokmin announced after reading the message, already getting up and going into the kitchen, pulling out a multitude of pots, pans, and bowls, moving around the center island like a tornado as he got everything he needed. 

Mingyu scoffed, his pride evident in the intake of breath as he shoved aside everything that Seokmin had just pulled out. “Absolutely not. We all know she likes my cooking way better anyway. Plus, she needs something that’ll fill her stomach well so she doesn’t have to get up and get anything else to eat for the rest of the day.” He was already shuffling through the refrigerator, lining his arms with a multitude of ingredients that he’d need to make you the meal he had in mind, only for Jun to come up beside him and start pulling out his own ingredients. 

“I’ll make her dumplings. She really liked the dumplings I made for her last time she was here.” He said nonchalantly, as if he were completely oblivious to the bickering that was now going on between the two younger guys. “We need a bigger kitchen.” He mumbled to himself as he eyed the small bit of counter space that was left for him to prepare the food. 

“You all really think she’d be in the mood to eat foods like that? What she needs is a nice soup, maybe chicken noodle soup? I can make that for her. She’ll love it.” Joshua chimed in, making his way around the three men who were trying their best to focus on the individual meals that they were trying their best to make in the limited space they all had, and Joshua knew that he’d have to work in the same conditions, but he was trying his best to think positively, about the way you’d react to seeing the home cooked meal that he was going to bring you. 

The rest of the members all watched with amusement as the four guys zipped around the kitchen, knocking into each other and earning mumbled curses in response. “Today on Four Dudes All Trying To Impress One Girl…” Jeonghan teased as he held up his phone, pretending to record the guys, his not so quiet giggling only becoming louder when the four of them all stopped and sent glares towards the older member. “Let’s get a look at what the guys are cooking today for our sick bestie.” 

“You better not come over here! Don’t breathe on Y/N’s food! It needs to be pure!” Seokmin whined, practically throwing his entire body over the ingredients he had been preparing. “Seriously! You’re going to ruin it!” 

Jeonghan rolled his eyes, moving over to Mingyu who initially seemed unbothered by Jeonghans sudden proximity to the food he was making, but when his eyes raised from the steak he was seasoning they were lowered and dark, cursing him with his pupils. “If any particles of your breath land on this steak, I’m gonna have to start over, and I’ll never cook for you again.” He practically growled as he pulled the cutting board closer to himself, the wooden slab practically hanging over the edge of the counter. 

“Are you sending the video to Y/N?” Jun asked, not even looking up from the dumplings as Jeonghan moved over to him. It took everything for Jeonghan not to laugh at the question since he hadn’t been recording at all, but he nodded his head, panning the camera to Juns face and pretending to zoom in. “Hi, Y/N. I hope you’re in the mood for dumplings, I’m making them for you so you’ll feel better.” The tip of his tongue poked out the side of his mouth as he tried to make every dumpling look perfect. “Okay, thanks Jeonghan… I need to focus now…” 

Jeonghan snorted quietly as he nodded his head, moving over to Joshua who was boiling the broth. “Don’t even.” Joshua said flatly, glaring at Jeonghan out of the corner of his eye. “This is supposed to be a surprise, and if you record it and show her, it won’t be a surprise. Back up.” 

Everyone but Jun was acting like this was life or death, and to them, this was the most important thing they’d ever do, but to Jeonghan and the rest of the guys in the room, this was peak comedy, top notch humor. They were competing, and even though the four of them would swear up and down that this wasn’t a competition at all, the others knew better, and it was obvious from the moment they ran into the kitchen, they all wanted you to think that they were the best. 

“Would you move?!” Seokmin groaned as he tried to move his own pot onto the stove, only to be blocked by Joshua who managed to take up the entire space just to watch the broth boil. “Come on!” He whined, trying to nudge Joshua over with his shoulder only to be pushed back, causing a bit of the stew to spill over the edge of the massive pot, Seokmins loud gasp resonating throughout not only the kitchen, but the rest of the dorm. 

“You guys shouldn’t be fighting around fire…” Jun mumbled as he continued to perfect his dumplings, earning a grunt of agreement from Mingyu. “And you all need to move so I can cook these…” He added, causing Joshua and Seokmin to whip around to look at him in shock. “The dumplings shouldn’t take long, I just need some space.” 

“Do you guys really think she’s gonna eat all of that?” Minghao questioned from the couch, trying to keep the smile of enjoyment from spreading across his face. There was something comical about watching them compete like this. “She’ll probably only be able to eat the first meal that comes to her.” It was like adding fuel to the already raging fire, and his words seemed to flick some sort of switch inside of them, their already rushed movement becoming faster and more chaotic as they started to look at this as not only a competition, but a race on top of it all. 

“You guys can watch the movie without me… Or maybe we can still watch it together if we can screen share?” You texted in the groupchat, still laying in your bed. The only reason you had even got up at all was to grab a water bottle and a cold rag to place over your forehead when you felt yourself beginning to burn up. 

“Nah, we’re saving the movie for when you’re better. And no screen sharing, we need you to get your rest.” Soonyoung texted back, and you watched as an ambush of text agreements flooded your phone screen, causing you to chuckle weakly which quickly turned into a coughing fit. 

“Was that you coughing?” The first text from Mingyu of the day had you slightly sitting up, confused about how he would have even known, and you scrolled up a little in your messages to make sure you hadn’t sent a voice recording by accident. 

“Of course it was her coughing. She’s sick, babo.” The response from Joshua had you laughing for a second before your eyes narrowed at the screen. “Where is Jun?”

“Front door.” Was all Jun had responded with and you were both confused and concerned as you started to kick the blankets from around your legs to get up. “How do I get in without making her get up?” He texted again, and your eyes flew open as you read it over to yourself. Were they talking about you? Were they at your front door? 

“We’re probably setting her phone off so much! How is this supposed to be a surprise when we’re literally typing this all out in the groupchat that she’s in?” Seokmin finally wrote, and you swung your legs over the edge of the bed, getting a head rush from the sudden sitting position after having been laying for a better portion of the day. 

“Just kick the door in?” Mingyu texted, and then another flood of texts poured in, the rest of the guys text screaming at the four of them to not kick the door in, a mixture of undoubtedly baffled curses and exclamations of disbelief added in. 

You rushed out of the bed, hoping to save your door from the idea that Mingyu had, draping your blanket over your shoulders and practically running to the door, throwing it open and seeing the four guys standing there, balancing plates of food in one hand while their other hands were holding their phones. “What are you guys doing?” You asked, looking between all of them. “You’re all gonna get sick if you’re around me.” 

Seokmin shook his head, stepping forward and walking straight into your apartment, placing the large bowl he had been carrying down on the counter. “Don’t worry about it. If we get sick, you can just make us some food and take care of us.” 

Your mouth fell open as the other three men walked in after Seokmin, placing their plates and bowls besides his on the counter. “Uh… I… Well… I mean… Guuuys!!” You whined, following them over to the counter and pulling back the plastic lids and tinfoil that was used to cover the meals that had been prepared. “Did you make all this?” You asked, looking up at them as they proudly nodded. “You didn’t have to do this, I was just gonna have some ramen…” 

Mingyu made an overly dramatic sound of disgust as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you towards the couch. “You need real food to feel better. So just take a seat and I’ll heat up what I made you and then we can watch a movie here.” 

The other three began to bicker disagreements, grabbing their plates and trying to fight their way to the microwave, wanting to get their food in before anyone else. “Take turns.” You groaned, dropping down on the couch and wrapping the blanket tighter around yourself, shaking your head as let out a small giggle. “I’ll eat all of it, so it doesn’t matter who heats theirs up first.” 

Joshua let out a loud hmph as he took the opportunity to slip his bowl in the microwave when everyone else was looking in your direction. “I get to sit next to you during the movie though. It’s my turn!” He announced, and that began the next session of bickering, another competition. 

They were the bestest friends that you could have asked for, and as you craned your neck to watch them in the kitchen behind you, a small smile stretched across your lips. Mingyu and Seokmin were holding Joshua back as he tried to get to the living room first, while Jun acted completely oblivious, heating up the dumplings in the microwave and watching them turn on the plate. You were lucky to call them your friends, your best friends. You were lucky to have them in your life. They brought you entertainment, joy, happiness, whether it was through pictures, videos, phone calls, texts, or watching them goof off in your kitchen, bickering about who got to sit next to you. They had managed to make you feel better, and it wasn’t the food that they made or the quickness in which they got it to you, it was their presence alone that had you feeling healthy, rested and renewed. They were what you needed. 

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

New Years With You Pairing : Xu Minghao x F!Reader TW : mentions of alcoholic beverages, slight mention of other members being drunk ; suggestive talk at the end but nothing descriptive ; nothing else really ; just cute and soft ; Word Count : 2.4k A/N : Happy New Years Eve everyone! Please celebrate safely! Don't drink and drive tonight! If you're going out tonight, depending on where you live, stay warm, bundle up! Manifesting love and positive energy for the New Year! Love you all!!

“Wish I was there to spend New Year's Eve with you, àirén.” Minghaos text lit up your phone, the lock screen adorned with one of the many candid selfies you had taken with him in the background, trying to look annoyed, but you could see the corners of his lips turned up when he saw how happy you looked. 

“It’s alright. I’ll send you a kiss through the phone.” You responded, tacking on a smiling emoji, hoping he wouldn’t feel bad. He was spending the holidays with his family and you had to stay behind for work, it was the first New Years Eve that you spent without him since the two of you had gotten together. Of course you felt lonely, but you weren’t upset. He was so happy to be able to go home, and you loved that for him, you loved the smile that had graced his face when he had been told that he could. “I’ll even count it down with you. I’ll try not to fall asleep this time.” 

If you could see him, you knew he’d be laughing to himself, smiling as he shook his head at your text. “You always fall asleep before the clock switches to 12. My sleepy girl, maybe you should take a nap so you can stay up.” You missed him more than anything, especially when he wrote cute stuff like that, you wished you could hear him say it between his small fits of laughter. New Year’s Eve wouldn’t be the same without him. 

“We’re having a big party tonight, you should come!” Joshua said over the phone, and you tsked your tongue as you thought about what it would mean to actually go to the party. You’d have to get out of bed, change out of your pajamas, make yourself look halfway presentable… It just wasn’t on the top of your list of things to do today. You hadn’t heard from Minghao since his last text to you at 12pm, and now it was 4 in the afternoon. You didn’t want to bother him, he was probably spending the day with his family, but without him there and without him texting you, you felt more lonely than ever. 

“No thanks. Just gonna watch the new year’s specials at home tonight.” You said, pulling the blankets up over yourself and letting out a fake yawn. “Plus I was up all night. Feeling kinda tired. Happy New Year, Shua. Let the guys know I said it to them too.” 

Joshua scoffed, and you could hear someone mumbling to him, but they were just far enough away that you couldn’t make out what they were saying. “Soonyoung says you’re being boring. Minghao would want you to come too. He wouldn’t want you to be alone tonight.” 

The use of your boyfriend against your plans had you rolling your eyes. “Minghao would want me to do what makes me happy. And tell Soonyoung I said to shush. I’m not boring, I’m just tired.” You retorted, hearing the sound of Soonyoungs laughter in the background letting you know that you were on speaker. 

“Boring~~” Joshua sang out, cracking himself up in the process. “I think you’d really like the party if you came though.” He was really trying to get you to the party, and you didn’t even know why. Minghao wasn’t there, there was no reason for you to go hang out with them. It’s not that you weren’t close to the other guys, it just wouldn’t be the same without Minghao there too. 

“Goodbye, Shua~~” You sang back to him, ending the call and dropping your phone beside your pillow, grabbing the empty pillow beside it and pulling it against your chest, inhaling the scent of Minghao that clung to the fabric of the pillowcase. It felt like the only part of him you had right now, the only thing that made you feel close to him. 

“You’re not going to their New Years party?” Minghaos text buzzed your phone beside your head and you shook your head in disagreement as if he could see it. “I don’t want you to be alone tonight. You should go. I’ll still call you before the clock hits 12.” 

Had they really texted him to tell him you refused to go? Of course they would, and it was probably Minghao that put them up to it in the first place. “Fiiiine!” You responded, kicking your blankets off your legs in a tantrum like manner before swinging them over the side of the bed and getting up. “I’m not gonna have fun though. You’re not there.” 

Your message was immediately read and the three bubbles popped up immediately when he started typing. “I know, àirén. But you’ll have fun, you’ll see Hosh get drunk with Cheol and I know that’ll cheer you up, wouldn’t it?” He wasn’t exactly wrong, but you usually laughed at the two guys with Minghao as you both sipped on your own drinks. “I’ll be home next week and I’ll come see you first.” 

You nodded to your screen before placing your phone on the dresser, digging through it to find an outfit to wear. You had no reason to go all out, and you hoped that the night would go fast so that you could get back home and climb back into your bed and cuddle with Minghaos pillow and fall asleep as the scent of him filled your nose. 

You put on a sweater dress, a pair of tights underneath that would keep your legs warm during the walk from the car into the building where the party was being held, and boots that climbed to your knees. Your hair was done neatly, and your makeup was applied just enough to look like you actually cared… but not too much. 

The plan hadn’t been to get done up even this much, but the thought that one of the guys would potentially send pictures of you to Minghao to show him that you had made it had you actually trying. Still, it was done with him in mind, he was the only thing on your mind. 

“Oh my goodness, she actually came!” Soonyoung exclaimed when he threw open the door after you knocked for the second time. The music was so loud inside the room that you wondered how anyone would be able to even have a conversation. “You look nice. You look like you’re ready to party!” His arm draped over your shoulder as he pulled you into the room that was decorated with balloons and streamers, two tables pushed together against the back wall had been covered to turn into a buffet table. Everyone was having a good time, some of the members girlfriends had made it and they were dancing with their own boyfriends, a sight that had you grimacing since your own boyfriend wasn’t there. 

“Are you gonna offer me a drink or anything? I mean, I did come all the way out here.” You had to shout over the blaring music that vibrated through the floorboards, but luckily Soonyoung had heard you, nodding his head as he quickly walked off towards the table. “Thank you.” You mumbled when he came running back, the liquid inside the plastic cup spilling over the edge and dripping down to the floor when he handed it to you. 

“Cheers!” His smile was wide as he held his cup up and then smashed it against yours, causing more of your drink to spill over, coating your hand in the strong smelling liquor. “Go around and say hi to everyone, it’ll surprise them that you actually made it!” 

You groaned softly, having been content with the thought of standing in the same place all night until Minghao called you, but you knew that Soonyoung wouldn’t allow you to do that and you’d be known for the rest of the coming year as the most boring party goer ever, a reputation that you weren’t quite fond of having. 

It seemed like everyone had brought a plus one, and what you thought would only be 11 people that you had to greet (excluding Junhui who had gone back to his family for the holidays alongside Minghao), had now turned into 22 and then some. They all said the same things. Nice to see you’s and Oh my gosh you made it’s rang out in your ears like they were on constant loop. But then you were the one saying it when you saw Jun standing next to the food table, and you felt a pang of jealousy that he had been able to come back for New Years but Minghao was nowhere to be seen.

“Did you enjoy the trip back home?” You asked as you stood in front of Jun, absentmindedly grabbing chips from the bowl beside you. He nodded quickly as a smile formed on his face, he wasn’t one to talk much and that actually made it easier to become his friend. “It was nice seeing you, a pleasant surprise honestly. I have to finish making my rounds, but I’ll see you later.” You excused yourself after giving him a quick hug and then circling around the room. 

You had made it through everyone it seemed, but then you spotted someone over near the fireplace, and everything about the person seemed so familiar, but you didn’t want to believe that it could be… It would just get your hopes up and you’d be beyond disappointed if it wasn’t who you thought it was. As you walked over, you prepared yourself to say the same words over again, the words feeling more like a script at this point. “Hey, nice to see you. Happy New Year.” You said, almost robotically at this point, taking a deep breath before the awkward hug happened. 

“You should sound more enthusiastic, àirén. Everyone is gonna know you’re not having a good time if you sound like that.” His voice had your knees going weak and your head spinning, and while most would blame it on the drink that was in your hand, you had barely even taken a sip, and the cup was about to slip from your hands that felt numb at this point along with your entire body. “Are you going to say hi?” 

He was teasing, he always teased you, but right now you weren’t capable of being playfully sassy back to him. You quickly placed your cup on the mantle and threw your arms around him, burying your face in his chest and inhaling the scent of him that was so much stronger, so much better than the pillow that you thought you were going home to tonight. “You made it…” You whispered, your voice being muffled in the fabric of his clothes, but it didn’t matter, he was there. “I thought you wouldn’t be able to come home until January…” 

A soft hum vibrated through his chest as his hands smoothed down your hair. “You really think I was going to miss spending New Years with you? My year would be awful if I didn’t ring it in with a kiss from my beautiful girl.” He cooed, and you felt like you could cry, just knowing that he was here, that your year would start just as perfectly as the last. “Plus, I really wanted to surprise you, and it’s totally worth it.” 

You playfully smacked his chest as you pouted up at him. “That’s why everyone was trying to get me to the party, isn’t it? You planned this whole thing! You’re so mean… I don’t even look good!” You grumbled, hiding yourself in his chest again, your own words making you self conscious of the fact that you hadn’t really done anything with yourself before leaving the house. 

“I think you look beautiful, àirén. I’m just happy that you’re here, that we’re both here. It wouldn’t have been a very good surprise if I had to drag you out of your apartment myself.” His hands moved to your shoulders so that he could push you back just enough to look at you, his eyes soft and the upward pull of his lips was even softer. “Let’s enjoy ourselves… Yeah?” 

With Minghao there, everything felt perfect. Your smile was genuine, you could actually have a good time, conversing with the other members' girlfriends as Minghao talked with the guys about work related stuff that you could barely hear over the music that was still blasting. He was never gone for long, and after a couple minutes his arms would snake back around your waist, pulling your back against his chest and swaying both your bodies together to the rhythm of the music. 

Time seemed to move much faster too, and it seemed like the two hours had passed in a span of seconds and now it was 11:59PM, the entire room was at a standstill, the music had been turned off as everyone’s eyes stayed glued to the television screen that counted down the seconds, and as soon as it hit 1, Minghao turned to you, his lips crashing against yours and it seemed like everyone else in the room disappeared even though the sounds of celebration could still be heard ringing in your ears along with the fireworks that were being set off all around Seoul to welcome in the New Year. 

The both of you were breathless when he pulled away, his eyes distant and his cheeks flushed, a lopsided grin on his face. “Happy New Year, àirén.” He murmured, his thumb brushing along your cheek as he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours. “So, do you want to stay here and keep partying with them… Or do you want to go back to our place and ring in the New Year the right way?” 

You knew exactly what he was hinting at, and you grabbed his hand from your cheek, dragging him off towards the door as you waved quick goodbyes to everyone behind you and murmured see you later’s to everyone you passed by as Minghao chuckled loudly beside you, trying to keep up with how fast your feet were going. 

There was only one person that you truly wanted to spend New Years with, and not just the day, but the entire year, and the year after that, and every single year that followed. It was him, it was always him, and it always would be him. 

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

“It’s not easy! It’s not easy for me to see you with anyone else, if it’s not me. And maybe that’s selfish, but it’s true.” Pairing : Bangchan x F!Reader ft. Jeon Wonwoo (SVTN) TW : none really ; reader is a strong, independent woman and we love to see it ; general angst and one sided pining ; Word Count : 2.5k

“You really think your modeling career is going to take off?” Chan asked when you had come to him with the news that you had been picked up by a company to model their clothing. It wasn’t a big designer, they weren’t very well known, but it was a start, and you were proud of yourself, as you should be. “I thought you were going to go to college for teaching or something… When did this start?” 

He only looked away from his computer to scan over the contract that you had slid across his desk, his eyes drifting over every single line as he shook his head. “I just wanted to get into something that would make me even half as famous as you are… So people won’t judge us for being together. I can’t sing or dance… But I know I can do this.” No matter what he said, your pride would remain intact. He couldn’t sway you from your decision, the only thing he could do was cheer you on, or disagree with the choice, but that wouldn’t stop you. 

“I never wanted a famous girlfriend… I just wanted someone who would be there for me.” He responded, turning his attention back to his computer screen as he continued to tweak whatever song he was working on now. “If you get that job, if you get famous, you’ll be traveling all over the globe to do different shows. I wanted you here. With me. Always.” 

You rolled your eyes at the blunt selfishness of his words, snatching the contract from off his desk and crossing your arms over your chest. “So me traveling all over the world to do different shows would be a bad thing, but you do it and I’m supposed to just sit back and be okay with it? Hypocritical much?” 

Chans hands slid from his keyboard, dropping onto his lap as he swiveled the chair in your direction, his eyes had heavy bags underneath them from lack of sleep, but he still seemed to have enough energy to go against you on this. “I travel the world for my job. All you’d be getting is a couple gigs, it’s not the same thing. If this is what you want to do, fine… But I don’t like it, and I don’t want to be a part of you doing this.” 

It took you a couple seconds to really understand what he was saying, mainly because it was so foolish for him to even say something like that, but you could tell that he wasn’t joking either. “I supported you in your career choice… But mine is a problem? Great… you know what? This is better for the both of us. You do you, I can do what I want. Thanks Christopher.” And with that you walked out the door of his recording studio. You had walked in with pride, and you walked out with even more, knowing that you were making your choices for no one but yourself. This was your life, and you had simply allowed Chan to be a part of it. Now that he wasn’t, it wouldn’t make or break you, you just had more freedom to do what you wanted. 

That’s essentially where you had met your boyfriend of two years. He was an idol himself, one that was well known in the industry, and it had been like love at first sight as soon as the two of you locked eyes, and from that moment on, the two of you were inseparable. He supported you in everything you did, he’d hype you up when he got to go to your photoshoots, he’d cheer you on when he got to go to one of the modeling shows, and when he couldn’t make it, he’d text you the entire time about how amazing you were going to do. He was the support that you needed, but above all else, he held the calmness, the aura of relaxation that you so looked forward to when you came home after a busy day. 

That’s essentially where you had met your boyfriend of two years. He was an idol himself, one that was well known in the industry, and it had been like love at first sight as soon as the two of you locked eyes, and from that moment on, the two of you were inseparable. He supported you in everything you did, he’d hype you up when he got to go to your photoshoots, he’d cheer you on when he got to go to one of the modeling shows, and when he couldn’t make it, he’d text you the entire time about how amazing you were going to do. He was the support that you needed, but above all else, he held the calmness, the aura of relaxation that you so looked forward to when you came home after a busy day. 

That’s essentially where you had met your boyfriend of two years. He was an idol himself, one that was well known in the industry, and it had been like love at first sight as soon as the two of you locked eyes, and from that moment on, the two of you were inseparable. He supported you in everything you did, he’d hype you up when he got to go to your photoshoots, he’d cheer you on when he got to go to one of the modeling shows, and when he couldn’t make it, he’d text you the entire time about how amazing you were going to do. He was the support that you needed, but above all else, he held the calmness, the aura of relaxation that you so looked forward to when you came home after a busy day. 

“I got a call for another gig today.” You mumbled as you walked through the front door, placing your bag down on the bench beside the closet and slipping your shoes off, letting out a quiet yawn as you walked tiredly over to the couch and dropped down onto it beside your boyfriend, letting your head fall onto his lap. “It was for JYP entertainment… They wanted me to be in one of Stray Kids new videos.” 

Wonwoo hummed softly, closing up his book and placing it onto the end table to look down at you, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose as he did. “Are you okay with doing that? You know that you can say no.” He knew what had happened between you and the leader of the group, but that had been years ago and you didn’t want what happened in the past to hinder your future. “I can go with you if you’d like me to. Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.” 

You nodded your head, already feeling much calmer after just listening to his voice. He just had that ability, it was one of the things that you loved the most about Wonwoo, the way he made you instantaneously feel at ease. “Thanks a bunch… This is why you’re the best.” You murmured, watching his cheeks turn a light shade of pink before he pushed his glasses up and grabbed his book again. “I’ll go wash up and then you can watch me make dinner.” 

His chuckle was soft, it sounded more like air being pushed through his nose, but he nodded slowly as his interest was quickly caught by the words on the pages. “Take your time… Wear something warm when you get out.” Those few words would usually make someone think that he was uninterested, and before, you had had the same thoughts, but you came to realize that those words were just his way of saying that he loved you, that he cared about you without actually saying them out loud. It was easier that way for him, and it was just one of the other things that you loved about him. He didn’t say he loved you too much, and the fact that he didn’t made hearing those three words all the more special. He was special to you. 

Chan watched as you walked onto the set, your coat pulled close around your frame as your eyes scanned the area, a small smile pulling at the corners of your lips whenever someone greeted you or walked by. He had followed your journey to stardom, and he had been proud of you, immensely proud, and oftentimes when he was with one of the guys and he came across a post of you on his phone, he’d shove his screen in their face and excitedly announce that he used to date you. Of course, the excitement would no sooner wear off as quickly as it came when he had that realization for the millionth time that he had blown things. 

It had been a miracle that JYP had managed to book you for the shoot, and they had to get your parts filmed and perfected immediately because your manager said that your schedule was pretty booked for the next week. He only had a short amount of time with you, and it had been so long since he had even seen you face to face that it had his stomach doing somersaults as he thought of what to say. 

“Is it okay if my boyfriend sits in for the filming?” You asked one of the producers, your voice flowing through the air and reaching Chans ears as if he were the target of your words instead of the man that you were actually talking to. His head whipped up as he watched you smile and bow, rushing over to the studio doors to push them open, and he about gasped when he saw who walked in. “Thank you for coming.” He heard you say, and his stomach, like an untrained trapeze artist, dropped like a brick when he watched you kiss the cheek of Jeon Wonwoo. 

It wasn’t shocking, Chan had seen the music video that you were in with them, and he had seen the scene, replayed it over a thousand times where you had to act with Wonwoo, and he could tell that it wasn’t acting… He had seen that look on your face many times when you were with him. He just didn’t think that the two of you would actually be together. “Of course. I’m here for you if you need me.” Was it nosy for Chan to listen in on the conversation? You were having it in a public place filled with people, it’s not like you were trying to keep anything a secret. 

You were coming closer to him now, and he could feel his heart racing like it was about to burst from his chest. Were you coming over to say hi to him? It felt like his tongue had gone numb, how embarrassing. You looked great too, and he felt like a fool for giving it all up. “Ahh! Hi, Y/N!” Chan called out once you were close enough, and you paused for a second to wave at him… And then you kept walking. It was humiliating, and when he glanced over at Wonwoo, he could see the older man smirking, his shoulders bouncing slightly with his silent laughter. 

How was he supposed to film with you when you made him feel like this? When he felt the eyes of Wonwoo on him whenever he got close to you. You shouldn’t bring your boyfriend onto the set, it probably made the other guys uncomfortable too. 

“It’s pretty cool that Y/N brought Wonwoo with her. He’s a chill guy.” Jisung said during a break between shoots, only proving that Chan was wrong in his assumption. He was the only one uncomfortable with it, and that only further proved that the feeling of discomfort was from the jealousy that he felt. “Have you talked to him? I mean… I know that… Well… You know. But, that’s all in the past, right? She agreed to do the shoot still, that means everything is alright.” 

Oh, Jisung was poorly mistaken. Everything might be okay for you, but for Chan… It was watching the one girl that he wanted, the one girl that he once had, be with another man. It only made it worse to watch because he knew it was all his fault that he had to see you in the arms of someone else, and he had to be okay with it… Which was easier said than done. “Yeah… everything is alright. I’m gonna go talk to her now.” Chan said, trying to keep his composure as he walked away from his member, he had to focus highly on his steps to make sure he didn’t trip over his own feet as he walked over to where you stood. Wonwoos arm was wrapped around your waist as you stood beside the chair he was sitting in, his thumb grazing over your side and his fingers intermittently tugging at the fabric of your shirt which had you giggling. It should have been him… It could have been him. “Hey, Y/N. Can I talk to you… About the shoot?” Chan spoke up after clearing his throat to get your attention, and his attention was on Wonwoo, watching as the man's eyes narrowed just slightly behind his glasses. 

“Sure… What about it?” You asked, not moving from Wonwoos side, but this was something that Chan needed to say to you in private, so he motioned with his head for you to follow him, and you reluctantly patted Wonwoos hand to let you go before the sound of your heels against the hard floor let Chan know that you were right behind him. “So… What about the shoot? Is there something wrong?” 

Chan took a deep breath before nodding his head, glancing around you to look at Wonwoo who was staring straight at him. “Yeah… You have your boyfriend here.” He said flatly, and your eyebrows furrowed as you looked between Chan and Wonwoo. “It’s hard enough for me to see you again in person… But now I have to see you with him?! It’s not easy! It’s not easy to see you with someone else, if it’s not me. And maybe that’s selfish, but it’s true.” 

You scoffed, shaking your head as rolled your eyes, all the signs of your annoyance being played out in a quick second. “I knew this was a bad idea.” You grumbled, your head falling back as you groaned loudly. “You’ve always been selfish, Christopher. That’s the reason I’m not with you anymore. It’s always been about you… What you wanted, how you wanted me to be, what you wanted me to do. That’s who you are… And that’s who he’s not… That’s why I’m with him.” You turned to smile back at Wonwoo who looked like he was slowly but surely making his way off the chair as his eyes now glared daggers at Chan. “He’s here for me… Not for anything else. So deal with it, or we can both leave the set. Make your decision quickly, break ends soon.” 

Both of you had spoken your minds, and while he didn’t really expect the conversation to go well, he hadn’t expected that. It wasn’t easy… If anything, it was almost impossible to shoot any scene with you when Wonwoo was watching, when he knew that after the shot was finished you’d run right back over to Wonwoo and his arm would wrap around you and he’d smile at you like you were the only person in the room. It was jealousy, it was the fact that seeing you with someone else made him feel absolutely stupid… You had moved on, and you had done it quite easily too. You were living in the present and looking towards the future, and Chan was stuck in the past, reliving the moment where he had fucked it all up, and imagining the future that he could have had with you if he hadn’t been so selfish.

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐩

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐒𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐥 𝐱 𝐅!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 ; 𝐒𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 ; 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭! 𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐬 ; 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐓𝐖 : 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 (𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥) ; 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩 (𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫) ; 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 ;

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 𝟗.𝟔𝐤

𝐀/𝐍 : 𝐈𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐔𝐒 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐮𝐫���𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐚, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 (𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬) 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐏𝐫𝐞-𝐊 𝐚𝐭 𝟑 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐥𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝟒 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐥𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐈 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐳𝐞. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝 (𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟) 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐔𝐒 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦. (𝐈’𝐦 𝟐𝟓, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞)

“You said that you were going to be able to pick her up from school today… What? What do you mean you’re in the airport?! Where the h- … You can’t just promise her something and then not follow through with it. She’s been looking forward to seeing you all week. Yeah… Yeah okay… Bye.” With an exasperated sigh he hung up his phone, finally looking in your direction as he came up to the classroom door that you were standing outside of. You had heard the entire conversation, something that he was well aware of judging by the sheepish look on his face as he looked at you, but it wasn’t something that you would pry him about. “Sorry about that… And I’m sorry that I have to bring her in so early, I’m just so busy and-” You held up your hand, shaking your head as you looked down at his daughter. You knew who he was and you knew what he did, everyone knew what he did, and that’s one of the main reasons he had to bring his daughter to the classroom early. 

“If you need me to keep her after class a little longer that’s fine. We can watch movies and I have a whole cabinet full of snacks and games that we can play too.” You said, hoping to ease his visibly worried mind, and as if your words were a ray of sunshine for him, his all too familiar smile that you had seen all over television screens and on YouTube had spread across his face again. He let out a sigh of relief, placing his daughter’s hand in your own before kneeling down in front of her and pressing a quick kiss against her forehead. 

“Be good for Ms. Y/N. Me or one of your uncles will be here to pick you up as soon as we can.” He murmured to her, his tone completely different from the annoyance that had filled it while he was speaking on the phone. “Thank you so much…” He said as he stood back up, his eyes meeting yours for only a second before you both looked away from each other, your eyes averting to anywhere but the others. “I’ll try to be back as soon as I’m finished working. I’m really sorry if this is an inconvenience for you and, please, just let me know if it is. I can try to find a babysitter it’s just really hard and-” 

You tsked your tongue, shaking your head once more at his worried ramblings. “It’s quite alright, really. Chohee is wonderful, and… well, I don’t really have anyone to go back home too after work so, I don’t mind at all. Don’t have the guys or yourself rushing over here to pick her up either, I’d rather you or them get here safely than to hear that something awful has happened on your way over. Plus, if she gets hungry, I’m sure I can order something and have it delivered to the classroom, as long as it’s okay with you.” 

He nodded quickly, and you could almost see the weight that your words had lifted off his shoulders, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You’re truly a lifesaver. Thank you so much. I’ll call the school and let them know when myself or one of the guys are on their way. Thank you again, so much.” He smiled at you before quickly lowering his eyes to his daughter who was still looking up at him with what looked like stars in her eyes. “Remember, be a good girl. Next time I’m off I promise you and I will do something super fun together, whatever you’d like. I love you, Chohee, I’ll see you after school.” He kissed the tips of his fingers and pressed them to the top of her head before nodding to you once more and turning to walk away. He was a good father, he was trying his best to make the best out of everything, he was doing his best to give his daughter the best, but you could see how hard it was on him and it made your heart ache to see him so stressed out. 

“What do you mean Hajoon isn’t getting her? She promised that she’d pick Chohee up from school and have her this weekend…” Jeonghan said from across the table, his head tilted in confusion at Seungcheol as he tried to make sense of what had just been told to him. They were going to be shooting a new music video this weekend, it had been set up that way for weeks because Seungcheol had specifically asked weeks in advance to make sure Chohees mother would pick her up and keep her for the weekend. “So now what?” 

Seungcheol shook his head, his fingers drumming on the table as he let out a loud sigh. “I don’t know. I don’t even know how I’m going to pick her up from school today. I’m so busy and I’m trying my best to be a good father to Chohee all while being a good leader for the group and it’s just getting more and more difficult.” His arms folded on the table in front of him and he quickly dropped his head down onto them, grunting quietly, unable to fully contain his frsutrations. “I don’t know what I’d do if her teacher didn’t offer to stay after with her every time I needed it.” 

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, more interested than confused now at the sudden mention of Chohees teacher that he had never gotten to meet yet. He hadn’t even heard about you before, and everytime Seungcheol stayed later at work, he had just assumed that his mother had picked up Chohee. “Wait… She’s being watched by her teacher? Isn’t she in preschool? She’s only four… Do you really trust her teacher to look after her that way? Wouldn’t you want your mom to get her instead?” Of course Jeonghan was worried about Chohee, she was basically his niece and he loved her as such. He was there when she was first born, waiting outside of the delivery room to finally meet her and congratulate his best friend on the birth of his first daughter. Since that day, he’s been there for everything, including the trainwreck of a breakup that left Chohee with Seungcheol who was trying to keep himself together while keeping everything else in his life together at the same time. It was the lowest any of the members had ever seen him and none of them wanted to see him that low ever again. 

“At this point, I trust Chohees teacher more than her own mother.” Seungcheol stated matter of factly, pushing himself away from the table and standing up. “I can’t just keep handing her off to my mother every time Hajoon changes her mind about being a mother.” He pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation, the smile that is usually worn on his face was completely gone, not a trace of it seen in his features at this point. “I’m sorry, I just need to figure out what I’m going to do this weekend with her… Maybe I can get my mom to help watch her on Saturday and then I’ll get her Sunday…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he turned to walk out of the lunch room, offering a small wave to Jeonghan who was still sitting at the table. 

It’s not even that he was just worried about the weekends, he was worried about the summer and what he’d do when he couldn’t take Chohee to school anymore. Thinking that way had him feeling even worse though, like he was the world's worst father because he depended on his daughter's teacher to watch her just so he could go to work. It’s like he had to make a choice between being an idol or being a father and it wasn’t a choice that he ever thought he’d have to make. This wasn’t how he thought his life would go, he didn’t even think he’d have a kid yet, and while he didn’t think of Chohee as a mistake, he knew that she had come too early in his life, and she had come to him from the wrong person, but he couldn’t just give her up. 

The way that he had met Hajoon wasn’t one that he’d want to tell his daughter, not until she was much older anyway, and that should have been a sign in itself that the relationship he thought would bloom just wasn’t obtainable. He should have seen the sign, but after a slightly tipsy one night stand and an exchange of numbers and then two months without a single text from her, he had gotten one. He didn’t believe her at first, he didn’t want to believe her because he still had his entire career, his entire life in front of him, but she insisted and he believed her. Throughout the entire pregnancy it seemed like things were going perfectly, he really felt like everything would be fine. Hajoon seemed to have settled down, and for the next six months of the pregnancy, it was like all of his worries flew out the window. He never would have thought that once Chohee was born that Hajoon would walk out like it was nothing, like she wasn’t leaving anything behind. His heart had been torn to pieces and he felt completely helpless, holding his only 2 month old daughter in his arms as he watched the woman that he thought he would make his wife walk out the door. 

All sense of trust walked out the door with her, as if she packed it up in the bags she rolled behind her and now he couldn’t see himself with anyone else. How could he possibly trust anyone after what had happened to him? It was the longest con, and for what? He was left with a child who had won his heart the second he saw her, but he knew that his job would keep him from being the father that she deserved to have. Was it fair to keep her with him even if that was the case? He wasn’t sure, but all he did know was that he was trying his best, he was doing everything to give his daughter the best and to love her as much as he could when he was around, it was the only thing he felt like he could do. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he’d be a single father, yet here he was. 

Even still, no matter how hard things got for him, there was nothing in the world that he’d trade his life for. He knew that one day he’d become a master at balancing his home life and his work life, it was a matter of time, and at some point he’d get it right. He truly loved his daughter, and when things would get hard or when he felt like everything was falling apart around him, all he had to do was look at her and see her smile and it helped him calm down, it made him see that things weren’t so bad, she was the light that he needed.

As he climbed into his car he let out a small sigh of relief knowing that he’d soon see his daughter, and while he was unsure of what he was going to do this weekend to make sure that she’d be watched and cared for, he knew that he’d be able to figure it out once he calmed down. He tried really hard not to let the stress of everything get to him which was easier said than done, but he found that it was easier to stay calm and let himself think when he had Chohee with him. He didn’t want her to see him upset or stressed, he didn’t want her to think that it was her fault that he was feeling that way. 

He finally pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket, turning it on for the first time since he’s been at the office. One notification popped up on his screen that caught his eye, his heart freezing momentarily only to start racing once more as his fingers fumbled to type in his passcode. It wasn’t often that you called him, it was so rare that right now seemed like the first time you had which only had him panicking more as he dialed the number back and shoved his key into the ignition. His entire body was shaking as he put his car into drive, the ringing sound still coming through his phone which was on speaker in the center console, the silence that followed each ring only had his stomach sinking deeper as he raced towards the school. 

“Hi, Seungcheol. This is Y/N, I was just…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, the sound of your voice coming through his phone had him immediately cutting you off, his mouth spilling out a slew of questions faster than you could even answer them, his main question being if Chohee was alright, if anything had happened to her. All he wanted to know was that his baby was okay, and then the sound of your giggling filled the silence of his car and he didn’t know whether to relax or be annoyed that you apparently thought his worrying was funny. “There’s no need for you to worry, Chohee is alright. We’re watching Finding Nemo. I called earlier to ask if it was okay if we had a little popcorn while we watched it, but she insisted that it was okay, so we had it anyway. It’s been an hour since then, so… I’m sorry for worrying you in any way. I just wanted to be sure…” 

Popcorn. You had called him to ask if popcorn was okay, and now he was the one laughing, albeit sheepishly, at how worked up he had gotten. He had every right to worry about his daughter when she wasn’t with him, but he also had the tendency to overreact a little bit, something that he was highly aware of and something that he immediately felt bad about once he knew that everything was alright. “No, no, I’m sorry for coming at you like that… I just got a little panicky.” He let out an awkward chuckle, running his hand through his hair as he continued driving, feeling himself relax more and more the closer he got to his daughter. “Has she been good though? I know I’m pretty late picking her up, I’m sorry. I hope that she hasn’t given you any problems.” Usually Chohee would get fussy if he didn’t pick her up on time or if she was left with anyone a little longer than she was used to, it was one of the reasons he couldn’t leave her with his own mother longer than a weekend. 

“Problems? Not at all. Chohee has been an absolute sweetheart, I really don’t mind having her stay after.” You said, and he could hear the sound of quiet crunching as you popped another piece of popcorn into your mouth. “She’s actually taking a small nap right now because the movie ended, I hope that isn’t going to affect her going to sleep tonight.” Shocked was the only way he would be able to describe the way he felt right now. Chohee rarely allowed herself to fall asleep at nap time unless she was at home in her own bed, and he was the one that had to get everything set up and just right so that she’d actually fall asleep. His mother would always call him, asking him how he managed to get Chohee to sleep, as if it were impossible to do, yet here you were accomplishing it as if it were no big deal. “I’m really going to miss having her around once summer break comes around.” You said, but your words had Seungcheol thinking way too hard, the gears of his mind whirring as it filled with questions of what he’d actually do once summer came. 

“Summer break…” He murmured, unsure of it his phone even picked up his voice for you to hear, but he didn’t know what else to say. The two words were looming over his head like a dark cloud. Of course he’d try to do as much as he could with Chohee while she was on break, but it would be even harder for him to do his job when he always had her, and he really didn’t want to place the responsibility on his own mother either. “So uhm… Are you tutoring or anything this summer? Are you doing any extracurricular classes?” A part of him was interested, but the other part of him, the part that felt awful for even questioning what you were doing during the summer, that part of him wanted to know if there was any way for you to watch Chohee during the summer as well. 

You hummed softly before responding, giving him a soft no that sent his hopes barreling into a downward spiral. “I don’t really have anything to do during the break. I actually need to find a part time job to fill the gap that’ll be there… and so I can pay my bills…” You paused momentarily before clearing your throat with a few quick coughs. “But if you need some recommendations for some tutors or some extra fun little classes that I think she’d love, I’m sure I can send you some of the information to sign up for one of them.” He hated the idea of it, putting Chohee into the care of someone that he doesn’t know at all. There was something about you, hearing you talk, having an actual conversation with you and hearing the way you spoke about his daughter that made him certain that his daughter was safe with you. He couldn’t just hand her off to another teacher and expect them to be as good with her as you are. It wouldn’t be that easy, he knew it wouldn’t, not only because of his own feelings towards the matter, but also because he knew the way that Chohee was. 

“Yeah… Yeah I’ll think about it.” He murmured, nodding his head slowly as he stared out the windshield of his car. There was nothing to think about though, he had already thought enough about it. He wasn’t just going to put Chohee in some random class for the summer or make her join some extra activity that she’d most likely get bored of within the first couple days anyway. Like Jeonghan had said earlier, she’s only four, and being that young meant that her attention span wasn’t going to allow her to stay focused on something much longer than a week tops before it didn’t catch and hold her attention anymore. “I’m almost to the school by the way, I’ll be there soon.” He said quickly, trying to fill the silence that had taken over the car when you hadn’t said anything. He didn’t even wait for your response before his finger came down on the little red button to end the call. He wasn’t quite sure what exactly he was going to do, all he did know was that he needed to figure something out before the summer, and there was one thing, one option in particular that was stuck in the forefront of his brain, he just needed to make sure it was doable, then it would become his one and only choice. 

The parking lot to the school was practically empty aside from one car, one car that he could only assume was your own since you were the only one in the building. Seungcheol parked quickly next to it, rushing out of the vehicle and running down the sidewalk to get to the little side door that led into the classroom that he had dropped his daughter off earlier that morning. He didn’t notice at first, but the closer he got, the more he could see that the door to the classroom was already propped open, the sight of it initially causing his heart to sink as he picked up the pace. It wasn’t until he got right next to the door that he realized your head slightly peeking out of it with one of your fingers pressed against your lips. “She fell asleep watching Nemo and… Well she just looks so peaceful while she’s sleeping and I know how babies get when they’re woken up from naps and they’re not ready to face the rest of the day yet.” You giggled softly, trying to muffle the laughter in the palm of your hand as you walked back into the class alongside him. “I really hope you don’t mind that I let her sleep though, it might be kind of hard to get her to bed tonight…” You murmured sheepishly, standing next to your desk and fumbling through the papers that were strewn about it. 

He watched you intently, and while most of the time he’d look at you as nothing more than Chohees teacher, it seemed like he was seeing you in a new light with a new set of eyes. There was a glow about you that he couldn’t quite place his finger on. Maybe it was the way the corner of your mouth twitched up into a small smile as you looked over the drawings that the other kids in the Pre-K class had made, drawings that he couldn’t quite make sense of himself, but you saw in the scribbled art something that only you could see. It could have been that, it could have also been the way that you talked to him, the way you talked about his daughter, the way you treated them both as if they were humans, as if she wasn’t the daughter of a k-pop idol, as if he wasn’t a k-pop idol himself. To you, he was just Choi Seungcheol, the father of Choi Chohee. “Don’t worry about her bedtime, she knows when she needs to sleep at night.” He said, trying to match the quiet tone that you were keeping with him, not wanting his daughter to wake up just yet. “Do you uh… do you keep sleeping bags and stuff in your class for all the students?” He questioned, noticing the pretty pink floral cot that his daughter was sleeping on, a fluffy pillow tucked under her head and a plush animal snug within her arms under the blanket. 

You hummed softly, shaking your head as you continued sorting out the papers. “Ah… no… I uhm, I brought it in because she usually stays a little later than the rest of the class and we watch movies… I know how uncomfortable the floor is… so I just got a little cot for her. I hope that’s alright.” Finally looking up from the papers, your eyes met his own and he didn’t know whether he was in love or in awe, maybe a bit of both, at how much you seemed to care about his daughter. “I’m sorry, I should have asked before I did that… I just wanted her to be comfortable…” You said quickly, apparently taking his silence as disapproval. 

His hands moved up in the air as he shook his head, not disapproving what you had told him in the slightest, more so, he was in disbelief. You seemed to care more about his daughter than her own mother did, and you surely did more for her than her mother did, it was just something that shocked him. “Thank you. I probably say that way too much, but you really don’t know how much it helps, how much it means to me that there’s someone like you that cares about Chohee as much as you do.” There was nothing else he could say, he wanted you to know how appreciative he was of everything that you did for his daughter because it truly meant the world to him, but he also felt the need to get closer to you building up inside of him. 

“Oh…” You whispered, the word coming out as more of a breath than anything else, and he could tell that his words had made you flustered. “It’s really no problem at all. She keeps me company while I’m going through papers and work and stuff, and it’s been a while since I’ve had company while watching a movie.” You let out a sheepish giggle, finally finding the paper that you were apparently looking for and handing it to him. “Here, she drew this. She wanted you to have it and she said something about hanging it on the fridge with all her other drawings… In not that many words but, I understood what she meant.” The paper was slipped between his fingers and it took a couple seconds for him to understand what was going on in the picture, but the neat writing of who was who in the picture helped him catch on rather quickly. 

Three stick figures were lined along the page, one was shorter than the rest and he immediately knew that was his daughter without the help of her name and the arrow above her head. His stick figure was standing next to his daughter, the stick arms connected as if he were holding her hand in the picture and he couldn’t contain the small smile that he felt pulling at his lips when he saw it, but the smile immediately fell when he saw the other stick figure. It was on the complete other side, and he could only assume that it was a representation of Chohees mother, it even had the word mom written above it, although it wasn’t often that Chohee even saw her mother. There were two squares in the picture too, which must have been a representation of his house and her mothers house and the longer he looked at the picture, the more it felt like his heart was breaking. “Thank you…” He whispered, and before he could continue, both his and your eyes shot up at the sound of Chohee stirring in the little sleeping bag. 

“Daddy!” She cheered as her eyes blinked away the sleep and finally focused in on him, her tiny legs scrambling to kick away the sleeping bag blanket and push herself up to run over to him. His arms immediately outstretched to catch her in them, swooping her up and holding her against his chest as her own arms wrapped around his neck. 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see you smiling softly at him, your head bowed towards your desk trying to make it seem like you weren’t watching, but he knew you were. “Let’s get going. I’m sure Ms. Y/N wants to get home and get some sleep too. Tell her goodbye, and you’ll see her in two more days.” He said, gently setting Chohee back down on her feet, taking a step back to let his daughter go. He wasn’t expecting her to run over to you, her little arms wrapping around your legs and clinging onto you as a small pout formed on her lips. 

“You come home too…” She said, trying to hold back the whine in her voice. “I love you…” It was shocking to say the least, hearing his daughter say those words to anyone other than him and his own family, and it seemed like even you were shocked to hear them. Your eyes darted between him and Chohee as you tried to think of what to say. “Please…” Your lips parted slightly only to shut again, unable to think of what to say in response, your eyes meeting Seungcheols as if questioning him on what you should say. 

“Cho… Honey… Ms. Y/N has to go home… to her own home and eat and get some sleep.” He tried to say as sweetly as possible, hoping that his daughter would understand as he tried to softly pry her off your legs. “You’ll see her again soon.” He said, lifting her up into his arms and snuggling her against his chest, the quiet sniffles coming from his daughter as she buried her face in his shoulder were heart shattering, but he didn’t know what to do. “I’m so sorry for that… She never does that. I’ll see you Monday morning…” He said quickly to you, turning around to head out the door. 

“Let me know if she’s alright when you get home. If she wants, if it’s alright with you, you can call and I’ll talk to her on the phone if she’s still upset.” Not even her mother would have done something like that for her, but you were offering. He nodded his head, giving you a small smile as he walked out of the classroom, his heart and his mind torn on what to do. Of course he wanted his daughter to be happy, but he obviously couldn’t just move you into his house to make her happy. He was sure that the only reason she was acting this way today was because her mother was supposed to pick her up and ended up letting her down. She wanted to feel some type of motherly bond with someone and that person just ended up being you today. He’d just have to explain to Chohee that you were her teacher and nothing else, or maybe she’d just forget about it anyway and he wouldn’t have to break that news to her in the first place. Even still, he might have been able to come up with a solution for what his daughter was going through, but that still left him with his own thoughts and his own emotions that he didn’t quite know how to handle. 

Chohee sat in her carseat in the back row of the car, her head bowed as she focused on his phone that he had handed her to keep her occupied while he drove. “So… Did you have fun today?” He questioned, wanting to know all about her day, not only because he felt like it was his job to know these things, but also because he was intrigued as to why she acted the way she did when he had to take her home. Chohee hummed softly, nodding her head in agreement, a motion that he would have missed if he hadn’t been at a red light and looking at her through the rearview mirror. “That’s good. What movie did you watch?” He pressed further, and while he had already been told by you, he wanted to hear what Chohee had to say. 

She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she placed the phone off to the side, her arms folding in front of her chest as she looked straight at the back of his head. “Nemo. I like the fishies. I had popcorn. We cried at the ‘ginning of the movie… mean shark ate the baby fishies. But first I did my work with everyone else… Then they went home. I got to play outside two times on the slides though. I drew a pretty picture for the kitchen too.” She had gone through what seemed like the complete itinerary of what her day had consisted of, telling him about it as if she were an adult herself. He hated the idea of that, the thought of her growing up, knowing that he’s missing out on a majority of everything that happens in her life because of his job. “She said I call her if I upset…” Seungcheol hadn’t thought that she would have caught what she said, he didn’t think she’d actually want to do something like that either, but he knew that there was a reason Chohee was bringing it up. “I upset enough…? I wanna talk to her…” 

His eyebrows lowered over his eyes as he took the turn onto his homestreet, glancing at her through the rearview mirror as she grabbed the phone off the side seat and began swiping across it again. “You don’t have to be upset to call Ms. Y/N, she just thought that maybe you’d want to talk to her more if you were upset already.” He explained, not wanting his daughter thinking that she needed to be sad or upset in the slightest bit just to talk to someone. “And I want to talk to you first when we get home. I barely get to see you because I’m working so much. I miss you, honey bunny.” And that was the entire truth. He felt like when he was away from her, an entire half of himself was missing. She was his everything, she’s who made him who he was now, and when he wasn’t with her he just didn’t feel like himself. The most he wanted when he did get to see her was to have a couple minutes with her before she ran off to play with her toys. 

She reluctantly agreed to talking to him, the sound coming out as more of a huff as he pulled into the driveway, her tiny hands already working at the car seat straps that held her in. It seemed like she was growing up too fast and it felt like he was missing all of it. “What we talking about?” She mused, hopping out of her seat once he had pulled the keys from the ignition, leaning over the center console to look at him. “You wanna talk about Nemo?” The question was so wholesome, so sweet, and while it wasn’t exactly on his list of things he wanted to talk to her about, the way she asked it was far too adorable to say no to, so he simply nodded, climbing out of the car and quickly making his way around to the back to let her out. 

From the moment she stepped foot onto the pavement outside of the car she was talking nonstop about the movie. She spoke of it as if she had never seen it before, although he was sure that Seungkwan or Joshua had watched it with her already. She went through the entire plot, her entire body moving animatedly as she sat next to him on the couch, a chubby cheeked smile spread across her face as she spoke. He couldn’t bring himself to cut her off, she was so excited, so he listened intently, nodding and humming softly whenever she paused and looked to him to make sure he was still listening. It took almost half an hour for her to finally finish telling him about the movie, and by that time he had almost forgotten what he really wanted to talk about. He wouldn’t have remembered it if she hadn't brought it up. “Are you going to hang my art on the fridge, daddy?” She asked, looking down at the tiny corner of the white paper that was sticking out of his pants pocket. 

He nodded quickly, pulling the paper out of his pocket and unfolding it carefully to lay in his lap. “Tell me about the drawing first.” He said, trying to keep his voice light and cheerful so she wouldn’t get upset, although seeing it himself had him swallowing back the lump that was slowly building in his throat. “I know that that’s me and you… right?” She nodded in agreement, beaming proudly up at him as she pointed to the two stick figures that depicted the both of them. “You did a really good job on us. I really like the way you colored the house pink and yellow, it’s super pretty.” Her smile somehow grew wider at the compliment, her eyes turning into crescents from her puffy cheeks pushing up against them. Now it was time for the hard part, he had to ask about the other stick figure, the one that was so distant from the other two. He didn’t want to upset her, but he didn’t want her to feel like she had to bottle up any of her feelings that she might have about her mom, he wanted her to know that it was okay to talk about it. 

Before he had the chance to utter the first word in the question, her tiny little finger came down on the smaller square next to the stick figure that was labeled as her mother, but her smile never faltered like he thought it would. “And that’s my classroom…” Her finger slid to the stick figure, tapping against it repeatedly with what he could only assume was excitement. “And that’s mom… You call her Ms. Y/N… That’s weird. Can I call her? When is she coming home?” 

As hard as he tried, he couldn’t contain the expression of shock that spread across his face when she said it, and his expression was only a visual of a quarter of the shock that he actually felt from hearing her say it. “Well… That’s…” He didn’t know what to say or how to respond to such a thing. Chohee knew who her mother was, at least he tried to make sure that she did. Then again, it wasn’t really something that he could control if his daughter felt that kind of connection to someone other than her own biological mother. It wasn’t exactly his fault that Hajoon wasn’t ever around and he wasn’t going to try to tell Chohee that the way that she was feeling was bad… He’d just have to explain to her that you weren’t her mother. “Do you call Ms. Y/N mom when you’re at school?” He asked, sheepishly and almost afraid to hear her answer, and he let out a soft sigh of relief when she shook her head no. “You do know that… well… she’s not actually your mom… right, honey?” He gnawed on his bottom lip nervously as he watched her face, her little legs dangling and swinging over the edge of the couch as she looked straight out into the room, deep in thought. 

“Hmph…” She grumbled, swinging her legs faster, kicking them against the bottom of the couch in frustration as she tried to understand her own thought process. “But… Mom not around… so… Ms. Y/N…” She said your name mockingly in the way that Seungcheol would say it, and he was taken aback to say the least at how sassy she sounded. “She like my mom… but I know… she not…” It was as if saying it made her realize that the words were true, and that realization had a tiny frown forming on her face, her bottom lip jutting out as she pushed herself off the couch and sulked into her bedroom leaving Seungcheol on the couch feeling utterly confused and conflicted on what to do. 

“So let me get this straight… You’re going to ask her teacher over for dinner?” Jeonghan repeated what Seungcheol had just told him. Now that Chohee had left to spend the weekend with his mother, he felt like he could really talk about what was going on and how he felt, but he couldn’t talk to you yet, he needed to talk to one of the other members first. They were like his brothers and he wanted to hear from them if they felt like the choice he was thinking about making seemed right, not only for him, but for Chohee as well. “Did you try to explain to Cho that her teacher isn’t her mom, that she’s just a really nice lady?” 

Seungcheol groaned in frustration, pacing around the length of his bedroom, his legs unable to keep still now that he was left alone with all of his thoughts. “Of course I did. It’s not really easy to tell a four year old that the way they feel isn’t correct… Plus, I mean… with the way that Hajoon is, do you really expect Chohee to look at her as her mother?” Jeonghan mumbled something that sounded like a you’re right into the speaker, but before he could say anything in response, Seungcheol continued. “And, it’s not like anything is going to come of it, I just need to talk to her, have a legitimate conversation without a bunch of kids or Chohee around.” He wasn’t exactly lying about the first part, but he wasn’t really telling the truth either. He didn’t really know what was going to happen, but he knew that something had sparked within him when he saw the way you were with his daughter, he knew that he was fond of you, but he wasn’t sure if it was just because of the way you cared for Chohee or if it was something else. 

Jeonghan sighed heavily, his lips making the sound of a raspberry being blown before speaking. “It’s up to you what you want to do obviously… You’re a grown man, you’re a father, and I know that you’re going to do what’s best for Chohee, at least, you’ll do what you think is best for her, but I also don’t want to see you in another situation like you were in before. We lost you for a while, and it’s not even about the music or the group, it’s the fact that we don’t like seeing you like that. We’ve known you for a while, you’re a brother to all of us, we just want you to take care of yourself, do what’s best for you.” He knew how the others felt about Hajoon, he knew how much they worried about him after everything that happened, but something about you, the way you looked at him, the way you looked at his daughter, he knew that if anything were to really start between the two of you that it would be different, it would be better. 

A bit more chatting and a quick goodbye and the call with Jeonghan was over. Now Seungcheol had to make a decision, make a choice that could affect himself and Chohee in either the best or the worst possible way. If anything went downhill, that could be the difference between you being so sweet and so kind to his daughter, it would be the difference between you looking after his daughter when he or one of the other members were running a little late. Was it a price that he was really willing to pay? His surety was running low, he didn’t feel so sure about anything right now, but he knew that he couldn’t afford to lose you. It wasn’t just himself that he was looking out for either, but Chohee and her feelings. He couldn’t just worry about himself anymore, he had to take care of his daughter, he had to make sure she was happy, and any change in your demeanor towards her, she would pick it up. 

It would be so easy if it were just himself that he had to think about, but then again, in that case he would have never met you anyway. Chohee would always be his first priority, and her happiness came above all else in his life, which is why this decision was only becoming harder and harder to come to. If things went well, if everything went without a hitch, the final outcome could make Chohee so happy, something that he loved to see. His daughter's smile was priceless to him, there was no amount of money in the world that would amount to how proud he felt when he saw it and he could only imagine how wide her smile would be if things went smoothly. It was that pride that he wanted to feel, that swelling in his heart when she’d beam up at him, the need to make his daughter happy that had him making the final decision on what to do. Maybe it was crazy of him to go out on a limb like this when there was so much more at stake than just his heart and his daughters happiness, but not being crazy never got anyone anywhere… Hell, being crazy and stepping out on that limb is what had blessed him with Chohee in the first place… what’s the worst that could happen? 

4 Years Later

“Are you glad that it’s summertime now?” Chohee asked as you both walked towards your car, the warm breeze that brought along the promise of vacation and a much needed break blew against you and Chohee as you walked through the parking lot. “I think dad has to work a lot though… He doesn’t get summer breaks like we do. Is that fair? I don’t know if it is… How is he going to spend time with me?” She was full of questions, full of excitement at what the next two and a half months would bring. Her long black hair bounced as she skipped along the pavement, the sound of her pencils rattling in her backpack mixed with the sound of her shoes hitting the ground. “Dad said that my mom wants to pick me up for a weekend real soon… Should I go?” 

She came to a full stop, looking up at you with eyes that screamed her question at you. It wasn’t that you exactly hated her mother, but you had a lot of reasons to dislike her. Hajoon had practically abandoned Chohee when she was a baby and she had broken Seungcheols heart, you had no reason to actually like her, but it wasn’t your place to tell Chohee whether she should see her mother or not. “You do what you want to do, Cho… If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. If you do want to go, then I want you to do what makes you happy.” You said as sweetly as possible, but you couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry at the thought of Chohee actually going to spend a weekend with her mother. 

“I haven’t seen her in a long time…” She mused, taking a slow step forward before picking up her normal pace and walking towards the car again. It seemed like she was thinking really hard about what to say, how to answer her own question. “Maybe I should ask dad when I get home… But he’d probably say the same thing you did.” She grumbled incoherently under her breath as she climbed into the backseat of your car, tossing her backpack to the side before buckling her seatbelt. “I’ll think about it a little bit longer.” She said, although it seemed like she was mainly talking to herself. She was deep in thought about it, and you wished that you could just answer the question for her, but it wasn’t your place to do that. 

“You take all the time you need, Cho.” You murmured, climbing into the drivers side and starting up your car to start the drive home, occasionally glancing in the rearview mirror to see Chohees face contorted into one of questions, answers, confusion, and thoughts. It was like you could see the gears in her head turning as she tried to figure out what to do, and seeing her look so frazzled only added on to your list of reasons to dislike Hajoon even more than you already did. 

With Chohees backpack slung over your shoulder, you stayed a couple steps behind her as she ran to the front door of the apartment, pushing it open and letting out an excited squeal as she ran into the house and out of your view. You could still hear her though, although her voice was meeting your ears as more of a muffled noise than actual words, once you turned the corner you could see that Seungcheol had wrapped her in a tight bear hug, the reason for her almost muted words. “Hey!” He called out to you as you finally walked in, shutting the door softly behind you. He waved to you, a soft smile on his face as he started walking over to you while Chohee stood on his feet. “Seems like Cho had a good last day of school, how was yours though?” 

He was teasing you, the silly little smirk that he was trying to contain made itself evident on his face as he looked at you, but you could only sigh, shaking your head as you hung Chohees backpack on the hook on the wall and dropped down onto the couch in the living room. “It’s the same every year. Half the class is gone because the last day doesn’t matter, and the kids that did get sent are so overly excited that I can’t even get them to focus on the movie that I have playing in the front of the room.” There was something in your voice, something in the way you spoke that had Seungcheols eyes narrowing suspiciously as he looked you over. “What?” You hadn’t even noticed it yourself what could possibly have him looking at you that way, but you watched as he squatted down and told Chohee to go play in her room before taking a seat on the couch beside you. 

Both of you watched her run off towards her bedroom before his finger was slipping beneath your chin and turning your head so you’d face him. “What’s wrong?” He whispered, his thumb lightly brushing along your bottom lip as his eyes caught yours. It was hard to speak when he looked at you like that, it was hard to speak when he looked at you in general. He was perfect, and no matter how many times you had seen him, it seemed like the reaction you had to him would always be the same. You shrugged lightly, clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. You didn’t want to actually answer the question, you knew that the way that you were feeling right now wasn’t right, but it didn’t change the fact that you felt that way anyway. “Y/N…” He cooed your name, trying to pull the answer from you, but when you kept silent, he decided to try to figure it out himself. “I know it’s not because I’m going on tour this summer, you and Cho seem to love it when I’m gone. You always have all the fun…” You side eyed him, giving him a look that told him that he was wrong. That wasn’t the reason that you were upset right now, but you always missed him when he had to leave. “Is it because you’re going to miss your class?” You shook your head, and while he wasn’t particularly wrong, you always missed all of your students that you had to say goodbye to, it didn’t seem like he was getting any closer to the real reason. 

Taking a deep breath, you fell over against his side and let the breath out through your nose. “Chohee brought up visiting Hajoon…” You finally admitted, hearing the soft hum of final understanding sound through his chest. “I know that I don’t have the right to be upset… That’s her mother, but… She said that you told her and you didn’t tell me….” You chewed on your bottom lip, a sudden feeling of almost betrayal forming in your stomach as if a match had just been lit. “And I know that you shouldn’t have to tell me because it’s not my business whether Hajoon gets her or not… But… I just want to know that Cho is okay…” 

Seungcheols hand ran up and down your back in a motion to try to soothe you as you continued to speak, silent tears slipping over your lower lashes and trickling down your cheeks, tears that he had caught immediately and quickly wiped away with the thumb of his free hand. “I didn’t tell you because you had a lot on your plate at the time, but I was going to tell you.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss the top of your head before leaning back against the couch, pulling you closer to him. “And in regards to it being your business, it is your business. You’re more of a mother to her than Hajoon is, and whether you know it or not, Chohee thinks the same thing. She absolutely adores you, maybe more than I do, but I’m not willing to bet on that just yet.” His attempt at lightheartedness had you letting out a giggle. “I know that you worry about her, and I do too, trust me, I do… but I know that she’s going to be okay because we both know that Hajoon isn’t going to actually follow through with getting her. When was the last time she’s actually picked her up?” The question had you thinking really hard, trying to remember the last time you even saw Hajoon and Chohee in the same room together. The lack of your answer had Seungcheol nodding as if you had already answered his question. “See, you have nothing to worry about. Chohee is going to stay here with us all summer.” 

As if on queue, Chohee ran out of her room, diving into the little bit of space that was between you and Seungcheol, nestling against you as she threw her legs up onto his lap. “I get to stay with you and mommy all summer?” She cheered, clearly having been eavesdropping on the entire conversation. “That means we can all go to the beach again like last year, right? I like building sandcastles… Oh! And this time, I’m gonna make mommy get all the way in the water. Remember when we had that big splash fight… that was fun… I like that.” Her little mind wandered into her memories, her stories had you and Seungcheol doing the same thing, letting out quiet chuckles as the images filled your minds. “Oh… Daddy?” She turned to him with wide eyes, her hands clasping together as if she were about to have an extremely serious conversation with him. He hummed softly to let her know he was listening as he drummed lightly on her knees, looking at her intently. “Did you give mommy the ring that I helped you pick out yet? You said that you’d do it during the summer, it’s summer time now. You said that when you give her the ring that it means the two of you stay together forever, I want mommy to stay here forever. Do you want me to get it out of your drawer for you?” 

He let out an awkward laugh, his face turning bright red and his eyes just as wide as hers were, but now you were laughing hysterically all while your heart swelled with excitement and love for the man that sat beside you. “Gosh… Cho… That was a really big secret you just told…” He said sheepishly, running his hand through his hair before dropping it down onto his lap and looking at you. “Well I guess since you already said it, do you want to go get it for me so I can give it to her?” Chohee nodded her head, jumping off the couch and bounding across the room as fast as her legs could carry her. “It wasn’t supposed to go like this…” He murmured, watching as Chohee ran back into the living room with the black velvet box that she quickly handed to him. 

You scooped her into your arms and pulled her onto your lap, the body still shaking from the laughter that was slowly subsiding. “You know, I think I like this proposal way better, surrounded by my two favorite people in the comfort of the apartment.” You said, letting out an audible gasp when Seungcheol opened the box and revealed the beautifully cut diamond ring, the light reflecting off the facets of the stone as he pulled it out of the box. 

“Hmm… I had a whole speech prepared for this but I didn’t have the time to practice it…” He sounded shy now, his thumb and pointer finger shakily holding onto the ring as he grabbed your hand and held it between both of your bodies. “I guess I don’t need to give a whole speech though, I hope you know how much I love you, how much Chohee loves you. You’re a great mom to her, and you didn’t even have to be, but you love her like your own and it makes me so happy. You showed her what a real mom should be, what a real mom is, and you showed me that I don’t have to be afraid to love someone because of what happened in the past. You love me for who I am, not what I do… And I love you for everything that you are… So, will you marry me?”